The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #622 - Aron Kader

Episode Date: October 1, 2018

Aron Kader, a stand up comedian seen on Comedy Central as a founding member of the "Axis of Evil Comedy Tour," joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio. This podcast is brought to you by:     MyBookie.com -  Use code promo Church to get up to a 100% match on your first deposit up to $1,000. Deposit after 7pm EST and they will give you another $25 in free play.   Onnit.com - Use promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.  

Greetings from Podcastville. It's October 1st. The rent is due, cock suckers, but the church of what's happening now is brought to you by My Bookie. Listen, my bookie is slammed with new bettors

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M-Y-B-O-O-K-I-E. And don't forget to use promo code church. And the church of what's happened now is brought to you by audit. Listen, I just got back from fucking Boston. You know why I'm Tip-Top McGoo? On it, the fucking immune tech and my alpha brain and the fucking protein shake. That's why.

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Kick this fucking Mulee. Oh shit. October 1st, you bad. Motherfuckers. Monday. Church, what's happens now, you bad motherfuckers. My man

and lost long brother, Aritator, the Christ killer, and your uncle Joey here. A second to the time.

A little old iron maiden. The first out, second out, something like this. Here we go. Oh, fucking tremendous. Oh, shit.

Finally. Finally. I get to get my little brother on here, 20 years on the show, Mr. Aaron Cater. Man. Creator of fucking... Bless him. Access of Evil Thor, the whole fucking deal. Talk to me.

Bless you. Some of my earliest memories of comedy are through you. Now, did you start in D.C. or you started out here with us? No, I came out here in 93, went to L.A. City College. an older brother who was at USC percussionist musician and so I was friends with all those guys but just would go to LA City College

and I took an acting class and then somebody came in from the groundlings did a class and I saw improv and fucking you know it blows your mind when you first see it, you know, it's magical and I and then I took an acting class then I went to groundlings and then I was waiting to go through the levels

and then I started stand up and what was the first first place that you watch stand the bat um it was uh the belly room what made you walk into the comedy stories a thousand other places to walk i know it was uh barnhart on sunday nights and kirsten and um lincoln lincoln levin and kelly kirsten uh-huh and um you know adam barnhart is still there on sunday nights i know rehab speed craziness he is well he is one of the best guys in comedy like i was friends with him him and i would sit and talk about addiction like he was fucked up i was fucked up it was our own little secret we shared drugs

from times to time you know i knew he was gay as fuck which made me love him even more he was his show was crazy upstairs on sunday nights like i would get there earlier before hosting and do his because he also taught like a comedy class yeah he started teaching teaching also so i'd been some speaking from him, but then he went away for a while. Yeah. And we kept in touch on the phone. It's so weird, all the personalities. Yeah. And I see him up there now. But he was like a rock, rock, like rock star, gay rock star kind of personality on stage. Yeah. He was eccentric. And like, yeah, I never seen anything like Adam. Like, he does some crazy thing that, you know, it's just always on the line of figuring out

what is his, what is it? When Mincy would make somebody a regular and they were gay, they were fucking good at gay comedy. Whatever the fuck came out of that mouth was gold. And they didn't last for a long time because I remember they, I was talking to some, what was the place off Melrose? No, it was off Santa Monica. It was right in the heart of fucking boys' time. It was down one of those streets and it was in a basement. And like Tuesday nights, it wasn't Largo.

It had a different name. I don't know if you were around for that. Not on a promenade. Not out in Santa Monica. No, no, no, no. This is in Santa Monica. In West Hollywood. Right down, La Siena, you hook her right on Santa Monica.

If you went a mile, you went too fast. It was behind, it was across the street going down towards Melrose, and there was a place in there. I still didn't see Dice there upstairs. The place was so hot. Shit. Like, it was before Jay Davis and, and, I, and, I, you know, Before the 2000. Right.

I met Ahmed first got the bar next to Jay Davis. That was the first place I met. I met Ahmed 98. I was a comedy store regular, and on Tuesday night he booked a place called the Union. The Union. And it was right about the time when that movie came out. Him and his two roommates. Oh, the play.

Swingers. Swingers. Swingers. So Vince Vaughn dated a girl, and all of them lived together. But then the girl. Girl and Vince Vaughan broke up and she started booking comedy. So she would book that room on Tuesdays and it became like one of the biggest rooms on the strip on Tuesday because Tuesdays was, uh, Joe Torre's night at the comedy store.

Oh, that Tuesday was big. So white people would get intimidated and they wouldn't go to the comedy store. So you spot at the comedy store and Tuesday was always a shit spot. Yeah. It was always eight people or less. I think it took four to start the show, but it had eight people. It was so intimidating when you went past the comedy.

It's nothing about prejudice or anything like that. It was just that there was 600 black people in a fucking area of sunset that would just scare the shit out of white people. And it was well known. It was Lee. I mean, everybody. Black celebrities were there. Black celebrities.

I'm talking about it was real. It was a hotspot. It was a hotspot. Limba was pulling up. And it was just a hot spot. spot so white people said we don't belong there so unless you stayed at the I saw deaf comedy jam yeah unless you stayed at the hotel next door or across the street and stumbled into a comedy store you weren't in there was known in LA so that every Tuesday became an

alternative night somewhere yeah so Largo had comedy with Sarah Silverman Mitch Headberg and all those guys and then there was another club that the guy who ran it God rest of soul he's dead he was a guy who was a guy for from Long Island that had a great bit about OTB. But if you went downstairs, that's where we talked about last night. After the podcast, we were talking about girls who suck dick. I'm going to forget that. I was there one night.

I was like, this was the hot spot at the time. This was before I met I met. This had to be 97. West Hollywood. This is when there was a bikini bar that's still there, I think, in West Hollywood. It's a straight-up bikini bar. And they did comedy on Tuesdays. So if you were lucky, you got a spot at the bikini bar,

and then you went over to that bar. But the other bar, the downstairs was a showcase room. So it was filled with agents. So you had to be a certain type of comic or the guy had a like you. And the guy had attitude because he knew now that his room could blow you up. But the first time I went to the bikini room,

Walt Frazier was, no, what's the guy that said he fucked a thousand women? Will Chamberlain was there. I'm like, damn, there goes my game. Really? Like, Will Chamberlainer was there. They were there. They were all there doing comedy. Nobody paid attention to the comics.

I forget who booked that room. And then we go over to that other place and watch the comics that would go up. And they were all the hottest Montreal comics in town. You're not talking about Largo, huh? No. Largo was more alternative, wasn't it? Largo was on Fairfax. Yeah.

Right? Fairfax up the corner. And it was called something before the Largo, though. Yeah. Something like, um. Bro, that pizza place. is gone. The one across the street from Canters. That

was like the last pizza place. It was open until three. Rogan would always take me there. Oh, you mean on across from Cantors? Yes. Yes. What is that place called? And we would sit there. Damiano. Damiano. Domiano. Domianos. It was fucking good. They had a good sandwich.

But that too, I never forgot. I was telling the story after the podcast. That was the first time ever. I had been here like seven months. I didn't know the game. Oh, you had just gotten to L.A. I had just gotten to L.A. and this was the hottest club. The hottest clubs were, you know, the comedy store was just a fucking splatoon.

Yeah. In those days, it was just known as the Coke players, the dump. Yeah, it was like. The comics were funny, but you don't want to be there. You might get shot. It's dark, yeah. Laugh factory was the hip club, and the improv had always been hip because Jay Leno and all that were starting. So the comedy store was the pits.

Yeah. You were just happy to get spots there. Right. But you had to go around town and do different. different rooms. But that was the first time ever. I'll never forget this girl. Good looking girl with the fucking leopard tapper came up to me. She's like, what are you doing here? And I'm like, well, I'm doing the spot. And she goes, did they give you 10 or 15 minutes? I think I told that they gave me 15 minutes. And she said to me, what if I suck your dick for seven and a half of those minutes? And I'll never forget, like, looking out and I go, what did you just say? I could say me saying this to somebody. Like, you know what I'm saying? Hey, listen. You want eight minutes? I can see me saying that, but a woman saying it can me. I just looked at her and asked her, like, are you fucking crazy?

And I just saw her. She's still in the game. Really? Yeah, she's still in the game. Fat, huge. Oh, really? Puffy lips. She did plastic surgery and shit.

Are you even allowed to do that? Like, can you go up to the manager be like, hey, I'm going to give Sally eight of my minutes. I'm going to give a seven minute of my minutes. We'll be right back. Put somebody up before me. Because you're not getting the minutes until you suck my dick. saying I was strict about that shit. You're not getting the time.

This ain't on credit either. And then you bomb and you're depressed and you suck my dick crying because you ain't in front of Gersh. That's not my problem. You've got to give it to me up front. That's even if, you know, I'm just saying, this is a joke. People don't know. What would the manager say if you told me?

I know. I know it's like Mitsy says, well, I don't know, but she should probably suck his dick. No, I wouldn't even ask him. I don't even ask him. I don't ever forget being at the Life Factory. And I had 20 minutes in front of Warner Bros. one night. Somebody came up to me, Paul Rodriguez, and asked me to give him 10 of my

minutes to John Fox, and I told him no. I said, no. Do you remember the day Mitzie made you a regular? Yeah, on my birthday. When was that? 1997. Yeah? So you've been out here for a few months?

I was out here for a month. And that turned into... Third week. She made me a regular. That's how lucky I was. So then you went back and got your shit moved to LA? There was no getting no shit. There was no shit. I had a duffel bag and a dream. Hit it.

And the notebook. That was it. No head shots. I still remember getting to the store and taking headshots that Monday. The piano player was a piano player that liked my girlfriend. So he's like, I'll do the headshots for free. That headshot, you see me with sunglasses. That's it?

At the store. That was the headshot. Nice. That was my first fucking real headshot. I had taken head shots from Seattle, man. maybe but I didn't think of him as headshots like I did right a picture picture but when you got here on that trip you were coming from Colorado or the East Seattle you were coming from Seattle yes okay so you were bouncing around you end up

getting to LA why did you move to LA though Doug Stanhope told me that I had a chance oh so you're doing comedy in Seattle I was doing comedy in Seattle is that your first no I started Denver in Denver when you was what age were you when you started 28. Yeah, I was about that. I was like 26, 7. And that's considered long in the tooth, 28, 29. Like, when I got here, people were like, he's too old.

He's too old. And I looked old. I was 32, 34, 35. I thought that's an advantage. And the hottest manager at the time when I got here was Messina Baker. And he was hanging out at the comedy store one night. And that same girl that offered to suck my dick for seven minutes who was talking to him. I'll never forget this.

And he told her, he said to her from me being in the arms distance, like an ear distance, whatever that expression is. He said, you're done in this town after you're 28. And I remember going home and getting coked up and listening to that conversation.

The next day, I went back there and I saw him like, hey man, can I talk to you about something? Yeah. Not for nothing. You got three of the hottest clients in the business and they're all a ton of a 20. You got Tim Allen, you got Drew Carey. Yeah.

And he had somebody else at the time that was 40. I go, what the fuck are you talking about? And he thought about it for a few minutes and he goes, you may be right. I know him fucking right. Why would you make that statement? Yeah. And he was a cool guy. Like, he was understanding.

But you're never done here. It's true. You're never done. Look at fucking Vicki Barberlack. I know. Look at Vicki Barberlach. Well, maybe. maybe people have always been able to be character actors and come from comedy and become actors and being a bunch of stuff.

But this whole standard thing changed when people start making comebacks. You know, there used to be people would make a mistake. They were gone. You kind of get buried and stuff. You couldn't have second and third acts. I think all that's changed. It's always changed. Yeah.

Listen, Marlon Brando got a second chance. Yeah. When Marlon Brando got the godfather, they did not want him on the fucking. They didn't want him on the fucking lot, Paramount. Whoever did that, whatever studio did that? Paramount was like, we don't want him in this fucking movie. He caused a disaster on mutiny on the bounty. Cost everybody millions of dollars.

Brando. Yeah, we don't want this guy in the lots. You know, after fucking Iron Man got caught with the fucking hula hoop and the costume doing blow in some hotel room, what's his name, Robert Downey Jr.? Right. Who was going to give that poor kid a chance? Yeah.

But talent, cream always rises to the top. Yeah. Yeah. And people acknowledge a second mistake. And the most important thing is when you do get that second chance, you got to jump on it. Yeah, you got to just. You have to fucking go reborn, throw punches, stick to dig, A's and Bs. You know, it's not, that's the problem with this town sometimes, that people get a limelight thrown on them. And they're not really mentally prepared.

They're not mentally prepared. You know, I'll even admit to that myself because, you know, the things that between 2000 and like 2004 or 6, you know, the internet exploded and everybody had their thing online, you know, and when Dane Cook got a million MySpace people, like, changed this whole game for a lot of people. And all the young comedians that came up started to see the thing, you know, happening with the. And so then, you know, we're taking a headshot trying to make a tape, you know, video, a VHS tape to extend to an agent. And it's getting, everything's changing and it's getting harder. You got to, like, shoot something and produce it and know how to fucking engineer it and get a computer and, you know, edit it. That was just like, all of a sudden that was the game. It wasn't just be funny.

You know what I mean? It was like, package that shit up. And so it's the art of. Be funny always wins. That's what you're trying to do, and you believe it, though. See, be funny always wins. It's all distractions that you take to be funny that throw you off. Being funny always wins.

Putting the work in, always wins. Knowing that you put the work in really wins. But before, because you know before the world of email, how would you build a following on the road? By being funny. about being funny but what was the other part of that that was like that made these guys that's it word of mouth that's it word of mouth erin what's happening how are you doing good what's going on i'm an la city college taking fucking classes but i got a part-time job at the whiskey and gogo bouncing no way my favorite band from boston is playing whiskey or gogo and they're fucking

tremendous really what's their name ero Smith, go watch them. And that was it. When you produced an album and they came out, there was no billboards. It was in magazines. And you read about it in Cream Magazine and the radio might play a new hit.

But a lot of shit wasn't airplayable. You know, my big 10-inch, you couldn't play it on the radio. You know, there was some Sabbath didn't get airplay. There was all these different groups. But I've always believed in word of mouth. Okay, word of mouth is number one.

But didn't guys like a Menzia? He had flyers. He would take the names. He would have a mailing list. There were people that were ahead of the game. There were people. Mincea did something that I always thought was pretty great. And this was, at the end of the show, his brother would come with him.

So he trusted his own flesh and blood. He would say, if you enjoyed the show tonight, on the way out, give my brother $20. And they'll mail you a copy of tonight's season. in the mail and they would go back to the hotel room and print the show up all night and have boxes prepared with that date and the next morning before they left town he would print them up there were people that left cards on tables and took emails and email blasted you let me ask you something even before email though he was doing that right some kind of thing you got an email from somebody that you opened did I what I don't know but then those fucking emails I don't they get a click on them and they get deleted right off the back most of my email

sends me shit every morning I wake up and just that's why I never believe to the emails that's a little bit too personal you know I'm going into a little bit personal it was more mailing list there was more mailing list shit like that see we went up a flyers out you know when I did a showcase at the

store you had to go make a hundred flyers and go to every casting office by hand and go hi my name is Joey Diaz I'm doing a showcase and they blow smoke up your ass well definitely and you call an RSVP line and the night of the show you'd have one call from like your aunt you know it was embarrassing but these are the things that you had to do to learn whether or not they failed look i still remember josh wolf getting this

one-man show and getting a deal from fox within a month the lineups all over town were one-man shows josh wolf had changed the game included me everybody was doing the one-man show oh because there was a new way to get your story out there oh god was were the days of, oh, Adam, you want a TV show? Well, tell me in your act about you being a dad and taking your kid to softball practice and describe your home life to me on stage. Last night, a couple of days ago,

we had O'Neill and Dana Shanning. We were about to talk about what happens to people when they move here. Some people take the material that they brought here and they stay true of themselves, and they do that material. Other materials, your agent gets to you and says, listen, you've got to deal with

CBS. This is the material you have to do. I know a gay comic that for years was in a CBS show. And CBS in his contract, he couldn't say that he was gay on stage. Oh, he couldn't even say it any time. That's crazy. Okay. So this is 20 years ago, guys. It was a different fucking game. Yeah. So. Yeah, that 97 to 2000 is a little bit of a change. And then... 97 to about 2005. Then the deal stopped. And that made the game a little bit more even. What was going on were a guy like Lee would be in Boston. He had a great 15 minutes. This happened here for about three years, three or four years.

And it was a very frustrating time for all the comics and for comics. I was very frustrated with it. But there was nothing I could do. The only thing I could do about it was I had two options. Think about it or be funny. Yeah, exactly. Keep going to the store, follow Paul Moody. getting buried and being funny.

So there was a thing here that if you were a good-looking male or a good-looking girl, 28, and you had 13 minutes. So I would go to Boston, and the Boston Comedy Club would put up their 13 open mic. That's who they thought. And if I fell in love with Lee's look, I would take Lee and hide him,

make them sign a contract, to take you to Montreal. Hype you up. Hype you up. I would even hire a publicist for you for you for three years. months to hype you up a month before Montreal. So by the time you got

to Montreal, they were all there to watch this amazing act, Lee Syatt. And then it became a bidding war. Okay? It became a bidding war. So next thing you know, Lysayat's got a check in the mail for $750,000. And he's got a commitment from fucking ABC to do a TV show.

Right. Okay. Now, you signed the paperwork, you get the showrunner, you get the writer, you get the writers and you write it, you write the first draft, they give you notes, you write the second draft, they give you more notes,

boom, you write the third draft, you submit it, now after three months, you got a call, your pilots getting shot. What are we talking about? This is what the process was. Yeah, still is.

Now, no, no, now, do you know how much time that is by the time you get the deal to the pilot being shot? being shot. A couple of years maybe? By the year and two months.

Guess what? Your deal is over after a year. Right. That was it. So now they've already got the new lease I at. So now, yeah, you got $750,000. You've paid an agent. You pay the manager. You're a star. You're the new flavor of the month. But guess what? I can't do that with you.

Yeah. Because you ain't got, I can't headline you. But they would spend. But they would. So now. You're a fucking clam. Yeah, you got me for $600,000. Yeah, but let's say it's a network, right?

Whatever one you were saying. Let's say CBS, all of them were doing 14, almost 20 pilots a season. Spending, you know, $20, $30 million a year, hoping that one becomes that $100 million a year machine, you know, becomes CSI or becomes whatever. So, like, that doesn't exist anymore where they're all doing $300 million. 15, 16 pilots every season. Well, the network realized in 2004 that they were picking the wrong comics. All right.

Comics did not have the chops. These 13, 14 minute comics, 20-minute comics, 25-minute comics, they realized it did not have the chops to go into a room and deal with these people. They didn't know the system. They don't know the system. Number two, and then you have the biggest thing to overcome. Once you get the pilot, now the kid can't act.

He's never acted. before in his life. You know, they didn't prep you. Me, I'm a manager. I signed Aaron Kater through a fucking one-year deal. ABC gets a call and says,

listen, every network show puts Aaron Kada on. Every network show puts Aaron didn't fucking George Koolney start on Roseanne. Yeah. No, he was on Facts of Life. But before E.R, he was on Roseanne, like, recurring. He was at the boyfriend

and some shit like that. He was something. You all got a start in a small place before he develop something around you well yeah you know you look back and you go so what were my cluny years oh yeah that's right they were at 2001 through three uh comedy store guest star on Bernie Mac speaking part on you know what I mean those are my cloning years crazy and then you had little shit that once they realized they were picking their own comics they stopped giving deals all together yeah that's what I felt okay and that was perfect because now nobody was getting lied that was like 05 oh six right now nobody was

getting lied to you want so now now you had a fucking hurt your keep which was tremendous now a poor kid wouldn't hang himself but see what I was also looking at was how much the world had changed that in that era because

networks wanted to stay away from politics because it was just too devised people were divided the war was like at its peak in like 0406 oh 6 was really bad that's when Bush was like did the surge and then you know he was kind of a lame duck after that and and you know and then Obama wins right but I'm just saying that those last years of Bush people were like

outraged it was political it was crazy like if we didn't have what we had today you would look back and go man those were some crazy political times there I remember doing comedy during the recount when Bush won and beat Gore they're doing a recount in Florida everybody had like recount jokes you know, about, you know, poking the ballots and, but like, people would be burnt out on all the news, too. So it was a weird time politically to figure out, like, what's the difference between people who they, come here to hear our point of view versus people who come and just want to get away from everything and hear, you know, evergreen jokes about, you know, fat jokes. Let's pretend.

Let's pretend because this is what people forget. everybody walks around thinking that we live in commercial times right now that we're living in time what do you think it was like when Kennedy was present he was fucking Maryland Monroe opposing this and opposing that we've never been happy guys as a country we've never been happy with who the president is

never has there been a four years where everybody's completely happy so I leave that shit alone because nobody's ever happy and now it's building like it's building and it's building a little bit more. It's building every little bit more. Nobody's ever

happy. You know, we think that the glory days of when Eisenhower was here and then Kennedy. Then Nixon came. I still remember being a kid and Nixon resigning and I'm crying like a fag that we lost our president. You know what I'm saying? I didn't fucking know. I didn't know that there was Watergate. So

all that shit there's always been turmoil. We just don't know. We think that we live in the worst of it. We have no idea. People always think that. I still remember going to grammar school where once a week you had a drill to go to the basement because we were going to get bombed by the rush. Right, right. And downstairs

it was old cans of cord and fucking bread that had mold on it. And you had a sip of Mormon. No windows and shit in a room. You know, they were called underground shelters. At every building when you walked in had to have a sign that said underground shelter, they had tang

and they had a fucking water and old fucking tanks. You know, we don't remember. We've always been in a conflict. We just take this. This conflict everything is a little bigger today because of the media and the internet right we just don't have three people telling your story we have two thousand people telling your story everybody's got a story and then we have two thousand people that sit there all day and pick up the scab all day yeah for americans to watch that and get sucked in yeah somebody put something today

other thing and they put this has always killed me and i didn't learn this to i was 27 and i'm to drop it on you motherfuckers right now. If you plan on doing anything with your life, if you really plan on doing anything with your life, if you're serious, really serious about doing anything with your life, I want you to think about something. I didn't think about it to how it's 27.

I grind him about it. I grind everybody about it, okay? Football is great. I got no problem with you unless you paint your face like that idiot yesterday at the fucking Rams game. He sat there like the Indian when they threw little in the water. In the 60s, remember that picture of the Indian? He sat there

a little tear. You put on like a San Diego, charge your face. Why would you do something like that? Now you got on the train with a bunch of people throwing shit in here. I would never come in. I just wear a shirt and you're fucking going. You cheer for whoever you like, but they get dressed up like a pirate and have ink in your face. Get a fucking life. Today somebody put a picture up. And I'm going to say this whether people like it or not or what they think of me or what they don't think of me, because this is what my reality was. Today somebody put a picture up of who do you think will win the fight. And they put Lysayat against Burton, whatever. And I put down, why we even

think about that? About, you mean a comedy? How much free time? No, in a fight. In a fight? Like, how much free time do you have the day that you have to think about that? That's why I love when people come up and go, who's going to win the next year's secret? Like, Carla Bee, I don't even, don't even, don't worry about feeding my family today. Yeah. That's all. I'm seriously. And that's a mentality I've had When I was 27 years old, a black guy in prison. I'll never forget. Sometimes at night after roll call, after like you, you weren't allowed to go out of your barracks,

but you were allowed to sit in front and smoke a cigarette. And if you had insomnia, you can go out there and sit and listen to the mosquitoes. As long as it wasn't, 10 fucking black dudes jumping up and down, listen to Bobby Brown. Don't be cruel. They didn't give a fuck. White bikers. If you went out there by yourself and you couldn't sleep, if a guard walked by, he'd go, you okay? And you're like, yeah, I just can't sleep.

They'd walk away. You know, you're not smoking. And one guy, a black guy sat next to me. I'll never forget. He worked with me in the kitchen. And he was a nice enough guy. And I asked him one of my stupid, typical white fucking questions that only I would think of. I remember somebody telling me from my face one time, you have a great sense of holding

useless information. Like somebody told me to my face. Treasure trove of useless information. It's information that doesn't really matter. It really doesn't matter. As young men, we think, like, it doesn't matter at the end of the week. It doesn't, you're not impressing me with that

bullshit about this or that. I'll never forget. He said to me, I think if you put as much time into thinking this dumb shit as you get your life together, you'd be like motherfucking bad motherfucker. And I'd be like looking at him and getting ready to say, fuck you and I went to bed

and I thought about what he said and my life changed that moment a black convict that had eight years left on this sentence said that to me and the guy was like a model of a great he was a great cook whatever the fuck he did in the kitchen and I told this kid that because I put down you have time to think about

this really this is what your day consistent you have time to think of this about this fucking hand job and then a bunch of people answered back and I said Eddie I'm not putting you down that was the mentality I had when I was a weak sack of shit and it took somebody to tell that's why I don't mind fuck

I call those mind fucks this town is filled with mind fucks if you accept them when we first got here it was casnet you sign with an agent you got to be a part of cast net then three years later you got to be a part of this then four years later you got to be a part of this and eight years later you got to do all this

and you know what at the end of the week you don't have to do nothing you got to adapt all you got to do is fucking get up and get on stage. As many times as you can and I keep that chitter-chatter of those comics, the negative, that... I should be at the store.

I watched Aaron Cater, he sucks. Joey Dears couldn't follow. Joe Rogan, y'an, he sucks. I watched this guy's Netflix special, and he sucked. Just focus. I was telling those guys that my favorite part of life is going to the store, an hour before my set, the original room, not the main room, the original room, getting fucking stone.

I mean, even to the point that taking like a half of Xanax stone, and knowing that I'm up at an hour and I will sit back there, and I will get sucked in by those four comics, and I will learn more by watching those four comics, and I hate when a comic comes up to me and ruins it. Don't even say hello. Just sit next to me, and I'll look at you and go like that in my eyes. Don't ask me if I'm next.

Don't say fucking nothing because that's all you should be worried about As Americans, we have so many things to try to throw us off our game Yeah When you come up to me and you go, can you believe this? Mm-hmm. I'm gonna have a little investigation. I just laugh because they just got you. Yeah.

They just got you. They just got you to do exactly what they wanted to do for you to take your mind off the ball for 20 minutes. That's kind of what they want. but, you know, the first time, two things. One, the first, Mitzie gave me a spot after I'd showcased. She threw me on some show that was on in the main room.

So she put me on in this, and I think maybe Ahmed and Jay were producing the show in like, you know, 99. And then it was a 15-minute spot or something like that. Anyway, I was like, geez, you know, that's like, I thought you'd, you know, she'd have me in the original room. before that. But anyway, so she puts me on in the main room. Then she gives me a spot open. How did you get past?

What was the process for you? I was in the belly room in Barnhart's. And then, you know, I think I got in front of Mitzie on a showcase night once when I was doing comedy, maybe a few months. And then a couple months after that, she talked to Mazz was already a regular. Mazz is already a regular. And she met Ahmed producing a show

in the main room. He was. was like producing promoting a show out of the main room i think with j davis and she discovered he was arab and then she was like oh is there any more and then they're like yeah you know maz knew me so then you know maz recommended me i get in front of her then she gives me this spot on like a thursday in the main room and then she has me open the oar on friday night at 9 p.m on a friday night um and i'm like like okay amazing and I show up on don't know how to open the original room I don't know how to open the show in the original I I mean I started comedy in October it's December you know so I just go

into my material too fast people are sitting down they still hadn't gotten a drink and nothing was you know because I was just kind of like throwing the didn't know how to bring it all together So I got fucking just basically it was a it was a bomb, but it wasn't even like they were listening It was like I felt like it was just the worst experience in my life, you know So I go back and sit at the back of the room You were on that lineup And uh fuck holtsman I think went up late But somewhere in there I just watched comic after comic until paul mooney gone on

And Paul mooney looked so. clean that night and he was wearing white and a hat and everything and I was like what did I do wrong how come I couldn't get one laugh on all the jokes that I have that I've you know so uh that was the night that I sat and watched every comedian and then she kept giving me spots and every night I would just sit there and watch you guys you know it's quite an education and she made me worked the door too so yeah yeah she made i would see i'd have a spot and i'd work the door learn learn the original room listen she her whole vision was for it to be a college for you and you know it really is like i didn't realize it after i shot i'm dying up here and i watched on

the plane and i was like wow now i remember what she stood for and what i stood for and it kind of straightened me back out about the store. Like it kind of, she had rules. She had these weird, common rules. She had method to her, there was a method to her madness. And giving Barnhart the Sunday being like, Sunday nights for as Adam's night,

she wouldn't really give him a spot here and there, maybe in the OR if he asked or something, but she was like, you are always going to have Sunday nights. For some reason, she thought that he was like Southern Baptist, you know, revivalist, you know, and Sunday night, the, you know, would be a good Sunday's, you know, church kind of thing.

I think in her mind she was like gave Sunday to Adam. You know, you watch Rambo. And you go, there's that part where the cops are like, you know, whatever possessed God to make a man like Rambo and all of a sudden that guy walks and he goes, God didn't make Rambo, I made Rambo. That's what I feel like. She's the colonel that comes. Now in hindsight, now in hindsight, I see what she was doing.

And when she got me, I was doing comedy six years, but I'm paid before. Like, I was doing comedy six years, but I'm paid before. And I had no success. Like, I wasn't having success around town. But I started going in there, and it was the same process. You know, you're just bombing. You're just going down to the bottom. You're just going down to the bottom.

I did those David Tribble ones. You ever do Tribble? Yeah, that you live on those. That's how you, that's how, that's a different. The best thing is to become a regular at the store and then do a Tribble. That's what I did. Oh. And you're like, that's what I did.

Wow. Kelly Kirsten hooked me up with it. I had to do 30 minutes. I had a car. Who drove? Oh, I had a car, so I was end up driving. And who would that have mine is? Fuck.

Brad Reader. Brad Reader from like Carolina or something shit. Hey, you ever. been to a two you've been to south carolina like blue blue ribbon uh fair and i'm like who the fuck i ask a question like that he ever been to the blue county fair and uh fucking savannah all those triple runs are brutal was the headliner guy's funny but you know come yeah you know and you get bad up with god bless breath do these jokes get burned into your brain like you don't remember the person but like these jokes will haunt you for the rest of your

life oh my god there was one comic and i i'll never remember his name right now but he was great guy and he was an older comic and he you probably know him remember him but uh fuck i can't remember his name but everybody else besides the one uh that i drove around with was like you know you just you know you just try to be i was just happy to be there

what you are when you're a feature i'm the middle of montana you're in the middle of montana and you're just happy to have a gig and happy to have a hotel room yep and happy to pick up fifty dollars you're like i'm so happy about these three things i can piss myself yeah like you look out the window and there's your town and you're 480 none i just had like a tiny little bit of weed yeah you know you don't know what it's like

to wake up look at your map get on the road yeah and look at the sign it's like 282 miles yep there was no GPS no it was road signs and you just got in your car and in those days you just stopped to pee. I stopped when the tank was empty. Yeah. That's it. That's it. That was my rule. Yeah. We were drive in between tanks. You do that drive between Denver, Salt Lake. I did every and then Salt Lake to Tahoe. Oh. That northern route. Oh. And then in the snow, you put chains on your fucking tires. Every Tribble run, some comic hits a deer. Oh God. Some comic is not going to make it because they hit a deer. Is Tribble still a lot? Still alive.

Where is he? Still in Oregon. Man, I got to get in touch with him. He's booked the rooms. He's booked. No, no. God bless him. Because, you know, he gave me a chance.

Dog, he gave a lot of people. He helped me so much. He helps you. While you're doing it, you're getting robbed. Yeah. And he's a dirty fucking thief. And I love him for it. Because that's what you're supposed to do to people at that level of comedy.

You're robbing. Yeah. You're robbing. I know academics who tie your league. You're going on the road this weekend. But you're sleeping on the floor. next to the jabbers room yeah that's it his his no payment you need your act has to be getting a hundred bucks a show minimum where the triple wins now i mean because when i was doing it it

wasn't even a hundred bucks no wasn't a hundred bucks you know be like six in a row of like you know 60 80 bucks or whatever it was and then uh now to break even you had to be tight triple paid 85 dollars a set you picked up 50 and you got to check mail to you for 35 oh the guy in Texas paid a buck 25 to feature and the headliner 225. So that means the budget was 400, he kept two. Right. The budget was six plus they paid for a hotel room for two people. Then there was a company in Montana, the one of Nebraska.

Oh, cruel. And they co-headlined me and they were paying 150 a set. Yeah. But nobody paid as good as creative. Creative entertainment was on the East Coast Underneath Charlotte And they booked from Charlotte Into West Virginia

All the way to the islands Barbados All those Caraccos The whole thing You just got to work Spotless clean on the islands You say one word They escort you off the stage

A ship A helicopter comes get you Clean out your room And you'll never do a creative run again And they make it before you go. Understand. So they would have a Bermuda week. You go for two weeks, $500 a week, but you can bring your family.

So you go to the Bahamas, Bahamas, Bermuda, whatever, you can do two weeks. That's how good creative was. Creative paid 175 to feature and $250 the headline with the same amount of driving in between the turban. But only in the south. You go deep, deep in there to a barn. And there's a fence up. because they throw bottles at you just like the Blues Brothers.

No, like in front of you? Fuck yeah. Clark something, Clarkston something had a fence up to like there was two places that had fences on triple runs. There was a Clarkston, no. Creative had one like West Virginia on top of a ping pong table

that if you said the word fuck you got fine $50. So if you got $1.75 and you said fuck Once I said the word fuck, I just ran with it. That's it because they're going to charge me 50 anyway. I'm going to get 20 fucks off this $50 bill. And then there was a place in Craig Colorado that they had like a wall with his glasses and they can look at it and they tell you if the place got active

just to run to your room and lock the door and call the manager. Oh, my God. But that's what people understand is people go on those and they come back and they decide right. they're not going to be comedians. That's it. That lets you decide. Right there.

It shows you, you know, but this is a point that I've always made about female comics because what female in general is going to be in the middle of Nebraska or fucking Montana driving around with the headliner they just met and they picked them up from Reno at the airport and been driving. Like, it just seems like it doesn't lend itself to anything that girls are like taught and raised to do, you know. Women will do it. they'll control the tour. Tribal will take care of the women.

Yeah, no. I know a lot of women that went on Tribal rights. I'm just saying a lot of girls wouldn't feel safe. I've never heard a complaint on the Tribble. Never. Never. Never heard of complaining. Trible takes care of his girls.

The hotel takes care of the girls. Because I went on a tour with a girl one time. She was no Miss America. I mean, you had to have 20 fucking cocktails to even think of eating her ass. But we protected her. You know, there was nights where we went to clubs. They were a little scary, you know. You know, that movie, what's the movie with the girl's softball team, Madonna and Rosie O'Donnell?

League of their own. League of their own. What's the chick that's really ugly? Marla, Marla. Remember when they first see it? No, remember when they first see it? Remember that dude? What's the dude that had the comedy club up at the fucking, up at the fucking Universal Center?

What's it? Love it. John Lovitz. Plays the scout in that movie. Yeah. And there's a scene where he goes in to see a group. girl and the father brings her over. She's the ugliest thing in the world.

Even John Lovitz looks at it. And he's like, oh my God, no show a face and all this shit. That was this headliner I worked with. But bro, there were guys still hitting her in towns. Like, weird-looking guys. I mean, I'm not putting this woman down to anything. She was a sweet lady.

But I went on tons of trouble to run. Yeah, yeah. There was one particular woman who died, who took me on a two-week tour. And she was a voluptuous woman. And I won. I never thought of banging that. You know, I knew it was, I knew from day one

that it's tough enough to do comedy. Yeah. Never mind, you try to bang a hell ladder on the road. Right, right. So I worked with this one lady who was a heavyset lady from Denver. She passed recently. I forget her name.

I'm sorry. I worked with a woman out of Portland. That's the woman I'm telling you. That was Marlon Maples with like the one eye. But that's what made her funny. Yeah. And then I worked, I took a girl on the road as a feature and I watched over her.

Yeah. Because, and I would tell her. Yeah. When I go upstairs, you gotta do me a favor. You gotta go up. Because I'm not leaving you downstairs in my room thinking about your all night. I don't like going on the road with people who make me nervous. Nervous?

Yeah. Like people, well, I'm gonna go out with these guys. Come here for a second. Look at the shape of these guys. You're gonna get in a car with her? Yeah. I'm not going through that. You get in the car with her?

Just take your fucking shit from the hotel. I don't know. I'm old school. You can't get into it. And I would, but one night in one of those towns up north, I got into a car with these dudes and Lonson the promoter pulled up next to me. And he goes, Joy, let me talk to you for a second. And he goes, get out of the car with those dudes. They were going to rob you. They were going to sell you drugs. I thought they were going to sell me drugs. Yeah. I mean, that's kind of the, I actually got into an argument with an open mic who I'm friendly, who I'm friendly. with but like do you guys ever look back at those gigs being 12 hours away from L.A. where 18 hours away like you say women

might not feel safe I don't I don't think I can win a fight like it like it's yeah no it's dangerous for anybody to be somewhere something like do you guys are looking back like shit I shouldn't have been there? No I I never thought of that but I think that in the country

is safer than you know you think I mean it's oh yeah people everywhere and now I fucking ran into George McGovern in Fuggan in Missoula You know In Montana he's like out there With his family How many triple weeks did you do

I did like three different like Kind of Sections Yeah like six A potato run The Missoula run Yeah six eight days There was like a six week thing

It seemed like Yes there's a six weeks He'll put you out there For six seven weeks in a row And so You get really good Yeah You get really good

It's an ugly seven weeks, but once you're in the road of it, you're... Just do it. I did them broke. I did them with zero month, no bank account. So who drove? I drove. You had a car.

You drove. You kept it on the budget that he was paying? I refused to get the car with people. Snacks? Like, I didn't smoke cigarettes then, so you were not going to get my car if you smoked cigarettes. You know, the music that's on? That's what's staying. You didn't want anybody to know.

No. So for the first six months, I did my own. You show up. The headliner did his own thing. Yeah. If the guy called me and he wanted the headliner get picked up, I put his shane on the A. Yeah.

I don't like people to call with me. I want to do my own thing and my own reading. Now, after a year of doing that, I started going out with people who I knew, who I could go up to and go, do you mind taking $25 less and us call headlining? Yeah. And at least we're together and we can split. And at least we're happy. Right, right.

We get along. We smoke joints. We can write jokes together. Yeah. We could split restaurants. Dumbled up and you know Thursdays a rest yeah Saturday Sunday and Monday instead of you get in a hotel room by yourself for 80 Yeah we split 40 you know that's that's when they're fun when you take your friend with you when you get that point I never really I never got to headlining a triple run I co-headline oh yeah that's the heaviest I ever did

I think I I headlined a couple like nights when somebody hits a deer Or somebody doesn't make it like he'll call you in the room we go you got to stretch you know so he just he just decides who he thinks as a headliner. I mean, there's no. You send them tapes. Listen, when you first start comedy, that's the first name they tell you. And nine different states

on this side of the country. Honestly, right now, I wonder if he'd let me headline. Yeah, I'm like a chat. A couple of spots. It's not going to be a lot of money. You know, you got to imagine. No, but I could go out there for an hour in front of some natives from Idaho.

You never know. Like right now, there's the only one I would do a trouble one. The good thing is I can take a flight to the beginning of it. so let's say the first night would be uh salem oregon okay i would fly into Portland and rent the car

yeah and then drive to bend drive to the other one drive to the other one drive to the other one drive to the fourth one yeah and then that night get in the car and fly out of bend out of uh you can't fly out of bend you got to fly out of Portland to go back to Portland the next day but you're not going to

what people don't realize is like a guy like lee like if Tribble calls Lee Lee has to do the drive from here to bend That's on your dad How much money could Tribble actually make on a night Like how much is? Well you gotta remember that he goes into It's quantity right

He's not gonna go into a bar in LA No okay so he's gonna go into a bar That's fucking 2,000 miles away from civilization People are coming through and there's these little spots He gets them all But he has to get a lot of them You remember when you did them? There was a six-hour drive minimum.

Yeah. In between them. I mean, you're out there. There's places where there's no lights. There's no street signs. I mean, you're fucking out there. Yeah. If you break down, then they'll tell you, make sure you gas up at this location,

because you're not going to see a gas station for it out. Yep. You don't want to go with your car. Yeah. No, fuck with that. It's like, last chance to gas up. You learn all these things. Like, there's a route we used to take from L.A. to Houston.

We could do that in 22 hours. I was doing that with Ralphie Mae, Ricky. We were doing it in 22 hours, but you better gas up in El Paso, bitch. Did you ever put a gas tank in the car? Like an extra emergency? No, unless you're doing Jewish lightning. There's a little fucking...

Unless you're going to burn somebody's house down. Then you put an extra gas. I don't like gasoline and gas. I know, right. Anything can happen. But that run from El Paso to Houston, there's like a six-hour run where you don't see civilization.

And you got... And the music, don't come in. The radio, stations don't come in. You're like, whee, and also all you hear is like, praise Jesus. The Lord

saves you. Stop by Presbyterian church of bumfuck. And you're like, wow. I thought I wanted to do comedy. These are all the things that when you come home on the trip around on the Sunday, you're like, what just happened? Yeah. I just

spent eight gas tanks. I filled up my car 12 times. I drove 50 fucking thousand miles And for what? For fucking four times 85 hours Yeah And then

But did you feel like you advanced in your comedy Like you know Did you find you had to start talking about other things Or some things? I mean what was it? What was it that you figured out? At that point I was just happy that I would try any joke I could think

of not knowing my voice, I would just write anything and it wouldn't be connected. No, I didn't have a voice either. No. You know. Yes, I didn't have a voice either. I had no voice.

At that time, I was doing comedy maybe three, four years, and I was just throwing out things out there. And then, depending on the rooms, because a lot of rooms were Mormon. Yeah, see, I'm Mormon. Are you Mormon? My mom's side, his background was Mormon,

so that was the thing is I was always talking about that and I was feeling like, because I grew up in Utah when I was a kid. You know, we left when I was, you know, nine. And so the Mormon shit would, they would, nobody ever done Mormon jokes.

Who the fuck does, makes fun of Mormon. Like, nobody even gets it in L.A. if you talk about Mormons. It's so funny, man. Nobody knows anything about Mormons. But when I got out there, I felt like things were working for it. What did you get to Utah, there's places in northern California, that they'll

tell you on the itinerary it's going to be a heavy duty Mormon constituency I got banned from Logan Utah because it's kind of like conservative college town and it was a bad bad show and some

it turned into like an open mic and somebody else told a joke and then I put the mic in I started fucking around with them and we were cussing and the guy didn't like it no they'll take they'll turn the fucking mic off on you yeah they'll turn it

turned into like street jokes and shit and then he was like so uh and i didn't care because if you lose that job who cares but so it's that you know what it is is the thing about being able to fail and back to the second chances you know how conversation started about first chance second chance third chance like you you can't do comedy unless you've failed real good you know unless you really kind of started out like you know on the triple thing like I didn't have 30 minutes when I had to do 30 minutes no you know so you never have 30 minutes so you're not like the same thing with lifting weights yeah if I say to you I'm gonna put 225 on the pound you're gonna go don't do it because I can't do it

what if I don't tell you it's 225 I tell you it's 185 and you lift it right you're gonna go Jesus Christ I lifted 225 but here's the other thing if you fail you failed pushing it right this is a good place to fail where you're doing something so you're going to fail. And if you don't fail, then you're not really learning, right? It's this whole thing, this whole cycle that you have to go through when you're like trying to crack the code, you know, because I wasn't killing a crowd. I'd have a one funny joke. It wouldn't be able to work. So like, the fail, the surviving to the next day, be like, okay, last night sucked, tonight was better. That was bad. And then you start to feel that cycle of like, how do you keep it on the, on the height?

Higher side. How do you keep cutting out the fat? How do you keep cracking the coat? Okay. So you started in what year? 99. Oh, so you were at the store in 99. Yeah. And then in 2003, you started the Axis of Evil. Yeah, well, you're doing comedy four years at this point.

Yeah, well, no, it, yeah, it was like October of 99. No, I got picked up as a regular December of 99. So 2000, right? It's December. Two, you know. But I was doing comedy that, you know, eight, nine months leading up to that, right? And you were still a dormant? I wasn't a dormant yet until 2000, until December 99, you know, and then I got picked up.

And then from there and on, and I got grouped in with Ahmed Maas. She, I think, tried to have Sebastian and Ernst and Tripoli. She thought everybody, all of us were Mediterranean, like Middle Eastern. That's how crazy she was. And she didn't give a fuck. And she didn't give a fuck. And she took control of Ahmed and Jay Davis's show. And she says, it's going to be all these people and all these, you know,

and like Sebastian and Masrari regulars. And then she picked up Brett and Tripoli, I think, it was regular then. And, you know, because we're kind of said. I was that night she made Tripoli a regular. Oh, for all? Yeah. I was in the original room. Yeah.

And anyway, so then there was this whole thing with her trying to put Middle Eastern Mediterranean things together. this is in 99 she loved ethnic things well she said that that was the ethnicity that hadn't been right she loved all that shit yeah she was into make the main room like she tried to get me to do the cuban thing and dress up like oh yeah yeah right with a cigar right and then she got corey quorum to actually make the call and get a Cuban restaurant to cater it so they did it one time but I got out of it I was out of town oh shit so because I didn't want to do something with her and failed and did not get spots in the original room. I saw that when you got involved with her

in a money venture and it failed, you were out of sight out of mind. She's Jewish, just like me. We failed. I don't need you around. You're the kids of that. We had a room for a while. You fucking blew it. Now I'm not giving your spots. So whenever she was suggested to do a certain theme room with me, I would always put an issue. I would tell her yes, that night, give her a kiss and hang her for the spot. But then I knew she'd forget by the next time I see it yeah so I would avoid her for a few days I would really avoid her until and then she

mentioned it twice and I knew she had a problem but she never really she bothered me about the Fidel a few times she wanted you to do Fidel Castro wear a fucking the whole fatig's and the hat she was into trying to get people to do weird like and I think she was fucking with them I wonder she told Kelly Kirsten she should wear a short pink wig yeah I think that she was going to see what your reaction was If you bow down to her, then she'd tell you to go, fuck yourself. So that's what I always took from her. Maybe.

Knowing her, when she told you to do something, you didn't do it, except for one person, that is the funniest fucking thing ever. When I got to the store, there were a few people who were big shots in their head. But there was this one guy that hung out with a big shot. And when she made him irregular, she made him irregular in one condition. that he played a guitar. So he lied to her. He went up there and the guitar. When she was around, he played the guitar.

And when she wasn't, he wouldn't bring the guitar on stage and have an awful bombing. Oh, without the guitar? Without the guitar. He kept bombing? So one night on the Monday night, she walked in. And I remember sitting in that area. Like, she walked in while the towel was on stage.

And the towel was up there killing. This has to be 99. A towel is fucking ripping the hell of a reporter on a Monday. And who has to go up next? But this moron. But in those days, Mitzie didn't come in on Mondays. She just happened to coming as Atal was there. It was in the back giggling.

Atal was doing a bit about plane, whatever went down, and he had a kilo on the plane. We were dying. And then this kid, when I was... and tried to do his okey-doke act and when she he walked off he didn't see her she pulled him aside she goes the next time you come here you better bring the guitar with you so i hear this and i go downstairs and i don't say nothing and about a half hour later mitsy leaves and he's in the back talking big shit i mean he's talking big shit that he's never gonna fucking bring the guitar again

He's all mad. Fuck, Mitzie. She doesn't know what she's talking about. She's a fucking idiot. And I'm back then. I wanted to smack this motherfucker. Yeah. You know?

But he was running with like a pretty deep crowd. I just said, let me mind my business. Yeah. I just shut my fucking mouth. Yeah. Because at that time, at that time, it takes people years to shut their fucking mouth. Like it really does.

It takes people years to shut that mouth, especially when somebody tells you something that is good for you, and you still go against it because of your stupid selfishness. It takes years. It took me a year and a half to learn Mitzie's system,

and I applied to it. Do you follow me? And then I'd see people that were smarter than Mitsy, and they're gone. Like, Mitzie just had this system. And when she told you something, she meant it.

Like, the day she pulled me a son and she goes, you know, I love you, but don't take your dick out no one. I didn't take my dick on the one. I think I took it out once after that. And then she said something to me. You know what I'm saying? But Mitchie didn't fuck around.

I feel like everyone's rule, though. Bitsy was like the people I grew up with. Yeah. Mitchie was from Milwaukee. She was raised in Miami. So she understood when somebody pulls you aside. She was from Milwaukee. When somebody pulls you aside and they go to you, this is what you're doing from now on.

And you don't do it, she would either stop talking to you. Yeah. Or just not give you spots. Right. Which is what, how I learned. I remember Brian Holtsman, we used to talk about that too. It's like, just don't fucking say shit. Just don't say shit.

Just do your fucking shit. Don't say a fucking word. Nobody asks you for your fucking opinion. But everybody's got an opinion. I never fucking opinion there. I never once asked her or said anything. I was a grown man. She would tell me shit.

I've never had a conversation. You're right. I remember her telling me little things at the end of my senses I was walking out and she touched me. Yeah. The way she would touch me, she was letting me know. That by her telling me that she can't. Like, I'm out here to put you down.

I'm just telling you that you'd be a lot better comic if you did this. A lot of comics would walk out to the fucking thing, have a drink, and go off. Go off about what Mitsy said or somebody else told you. Thank God. No. I know when somebody's giving me the right information. When Mitsy was in the room, I always wanted to do my best. I was always like, I always want to do so good, you know, added pressure.

But I was always able to let it go and be like, you know, she's, you know, she's, been in the room where I'm performing a lot. After a while, she wanted to see you bombs, to see if she wanted you to go out of your character. She made me come up to her, the house once. She wanted to rewrite my act, or she wanted to help me write my act. This is after 9-11. Because we were all doing Arab stuff for like, since January of 2000, we were doing like, she was trying to put this Middle Eastern thing together. And so, what is that, January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, you know, nine months.

And then that shit happens. So then we were all, you know, trying to figure how to react to it. The best reactions, I remember Stanhope. I remember Eddie Griffin. I remember, like, the first people who got, you know, when the store opened that Thursday or whatever, it was closed, right? It was closed Tuesday. And then they reopened it Wednesday night. They closed it that that Tuesday and they reopened it Wednesday.

So I think I was there on, you know, Thursday. I was there the whole weekend. I was working the door and you had a spot. But she put me on Saturday night in the belly room. And then that week, she's like, come to the house. I want to, you know, we'll write. We'll go through your acting stuff. And I was like, which means she wanted to suck your dick.

I think so, yeah, probably. Yeah. I rest in peace, no disrespect. No, I should have, I should have tried. But we cuddled a little, you know, like, you know, we got physical. We touched, you know, I made her, I tried to soothe her. I rub her back a little bit or whatever she wanted. And then, how old was she at this point?

60s. Late 70s. Really, yeah. No, no, no, late 60s, mid-60s. We're talking early 2000s. Yeah, when I first met her, she still looked good. She was still cute. She's still petite and cute.

petite and cute and you could tell that she was a mom and you know i can't lie to you i was missing the love of a mom right so when she would pull me aside and touch me and tell me certain things i got so mad like the first two like the fidel shit and something else she wanted me to do something about i don't even know i didn't agree with but there were other things she would tell me like pause here like she told me once i'm not waiting for the laughter You control your laughter. She would say little things to me. Yeah.

But getting back to that story. Me, by that point, after 18 months, if Mitzie told me something, it was gold. See what I'm saying? Well, if Mitzie told me not to eat there, I wouldn't eat that. Like, Mitzie was fucking gold. I would, there was also, though, times where you were like, Mitzie's the baseline.

So whatever she says, Is that's that's that's that's what the book says to do that's it that's what is Bible what's that's how the rule that's it tell you to do it right had a plan that you had no fucking idea she was hatching in her brain but that's not to say that the book is always right So one time there was this fucking gig that I didn't really want to do it was kind of far away I don't even remember what it was it was just kind of this thing kind of got me on the hook to maybe do But I didn't really want to do it because Mitsy's giving me really good spots every night and I'm like like I don't need to go to some one-off thing that it's kind of shady what Lancaster

yeah was it only for a couple hundred dollars or some shit and I and I asked Mitsy I said Mitzie should I do this gig and she's like no don't do any gigs don't go on the road just stay here and work out at the store I was like all right and I did you know I didn't do the the gig you know but that resonated too because later on I was like she doesn't care what that fucking thing would have paid you know if I told her I said no no it's like 10 15 thousand dollars she I she'd probably agree with me and we'd have okay yeah but don't do that don't give them the material that they want yeah but she thought the best thing to do is to stay in town and work and right and the store and at home when she made me she made me on a Sunday

and I bent over to her and had tears of my eyes and I told her I was honored and she's like to save But she goes, just make sure you're going for spots this weekend. I can't go in for spots. I have a weekend up at Rooster T. Feathers. And she just looked at me. And the look was, take that week, and you're not going to get a spot ever again. Yeah. And I woke up Monday morning without hesitation at 9 o'clock called Rooster T feathers or whatever the club was, Tommy T's.

It was Tommy T's. It was like a 13-hour drive. I was getting $300. And I'll never forget. I go, she goes, I'm passing you. Call Scott Day for spots tomorrow. Oh, you're so handsome. I'm like, you.

Mitsy, I go, Mitzie, oh, I can't call him for spots. I got Tommy T's. Like, I was trying to be Bragadocio in a way. Like, I didn't say I was seeing. I got this thing going on. Yeah, I was trying to be braggadocia. Like, oh, I got Tommy T's. And she just looked at me.

And that looks at. Lego. It looks like you can't. canceling it because you're going to be doing spots here right she didn't have to say it yeah she didn't even have to say it yeah I went outside got in the car went home the next one I fucking woke up call that club and they were they yelled at me how can you cancel it's Wednesday yeah you you get them see in two fucking minutes got a fucking scam all right so what's this movie you got erring or premier um fuck man talk to no I was just gonna say

that that group that you came in there with because i remember like watching bobby lee and sanchise around mitzi johnny sanchise was because she used to love sanchise like cracked her up to like the bone like he did something to her that she just always thought he was this guy who was always like complaining and yelling at her and shit and he would play into it and then she would look at bobby and go like are you looking at me and he'd say yeah and she'd be like Really? Like, how do you see out of those things? She says to Bobby. Anyway, man, so many members are.

I still remember the Axis of Evil tour. Okay, so we were doing these Middle Eastern shows, and then, yeah, that happened in 2004. Ahmed and I went to the Edinburgh Festival, and that's the first time we called it Axe of Evil, because it was called Arabian Nights, you know, and then we changed it to the Axeville. then two years later we got a deal and we shot it for um you know comedy central uh what's his name over at uh levitt levit leviton no no levity levity yeah yeah yeah i forget they could have been it was them you know and uh and then so anyway and then we toured and then we went to the middle east and then the middle east blew oh oh shit that was great and then uh and then i got married and

then I had a baby and now I'm like she's three years old and my uh being out every night doing comedy is if you know it's different yeah so um are you still touring on yeah I'm still doing dates I'm still doing gigs I was just in Dallas this big fucking Labor Day thing that was amazing it was 10,000 Arabs this outdoor concert huge stage bunch of music it's not like fucking hummus and desks and yeah flies everywhere yeah yeah Exactly. A lot of scarves and, you know, long pants. You see people in America, you got to have a good time with this shit.

He's got to have a good time. You know, I still remember you and Ari going head to head for years about Palestine. He just wouldn't. He just wouldn't. He wouldn't even have a debate. You motherfuckers. He used to crack me up out there. At every opportunity, he would find a way to be insulting or

call us all animals or something, you know, and he's like, you know, you don't treat animals the same way as you treat humans, so you've got to adjust your debate. And, you know, at a, he would never not do that to the point where you're like, he probably believes it at this point because he's, that's all he can never do. He can't have the conversation without that. So I don't even know where. How much did you love him over those years when he was tormenting no. Ari and I were always close. Oh, my God. You guys loved each other. Yeah, it was I was gonna see it he would always and he would buy this down and make like a remark at you like yeah you like keep him away for me well yeah man stupid I would go what the fuck you guys are just

talking five minutes ago fuck no I wanted already be my my counterpart because like how often you're gonna get a fucking Palestinian in here you chew you know what I mean how how how when are you gonna talk about this like you have a Palestinian you could just I have family over there you know I just I was just there I just did gigs in Ramallah this talk about getting into a car you shouldn't get in on a weird gig you know i'm 77 000 miles away this guy's like no come on smoke me he's getting this man you know the other two comics are like who is he's there like dude he's like a um he's palestine um authority he's a captain in the authority in the you know military there okay we get in the car we fucking smoke we he's blasting music he's like you guys

want to drift he starts fur drifts around one of those fucking circles Acting crazy, doing donuts, you know, high fives, good night, see you next, you know, next year in Ramola. You know what I mean? Sometimes you get in the car and it's great. All I'm saying is, you know. We had a good time. Yeah, we had a good time. We had a good time.

You still get spots at the store? No, not much since Missy's died. Really? Yeah. You were a boy. Yeah, yeah. She used to like you. Yeah.

I don't feel like I was very high on the pecking order that night. at the funeral, you know, they were getting a lot of people together to talk or get on, you know, get up in the OR, whatever. I'm like, you know, nobody was really asking me to come and get on stage and tell them my story. Did you go down there? Yeah, I was hanging around for a while. I didn't talk to so many people outside, but like, you know, when they, somebody comes in the hallway and they're like looking for comics and I'm like, I'm right here.

You know what I mean? I'm like, I don't know. I just been quiet. I've been quiet lately. That's okay. You're paying your dues. You have nothing. I mean, I still...

I talk to Adam. I still, you know, it's fine. Everything's good. He'll slip me back in there. But it's so funny. I know, I know 100 people who listen to Mitzie and 400 who didn't. And all those 400 people are fucking gone there. Like, they're probably somewhere else.

I'll never forget. She told this lesbian girl something one night. And this girl was fucking outside cursing at her. shit. People used to take stuff too personally when they were a comic. But this guy I'm talking about, so she tells him not to come back without the guitar. Oh, yeah, yeah. I go inside, I'd go do a couple

blast of Coke. I'm outside, and I'm watching this guy holding court telling people that Mitch you don't know dick about dick, that he's not going to fucking, he refuses to kick coward down to her. You know, and I'm sitting there and looking at him going, bro, she's trying to teach you something. I don't know what it is.

Even at that point, in my coked-out 99, crazy, open-mic mind, because I was still an open-micer in LA. I was like, this dumb motherfucker is questioning fucking Jesus. You're questioning like the hell's angel of hell's angel. And he disappeared for like three months. He went to other places and tried to do comedy. And then that bar, the union died. and the bar next to it where Dane Cook became a star.

Dublin? Dublin opened. When Dublin first opened, it wasn't Jay Davies still. It was, I meant I'm mad, and then I think he gave it, and Jay Davis. Yeah, it was like two or three of them. One of the first times they did it, we went over there, and that kid was there, and I had a couple lines of coke and me a couple cocktails. And I didn't like the kid in particular, but maybe not like them more,

how he talked against Mitzi. Yeah. Like how he was talking shit against Mitzi. Because it pissed me all. You're at the fucking comedy store. And the fearless leader is giving you advice and you're fucking with her. Yeah. So I went up to him and I go, how's life?

And he goes, you know me. Life is great. But I'm about ready to come back to the comedy store. It's time. I go, you can bring her the guitar back. Oh, yeah? And he goes, yeah, it's time to bring me up the guitar. And I looked him straight in the face.

I go, if I was you, you're so fucking bad. I might as well bring a one piece fucking band. You better bring symbols with you in a flute. And this guy, like, that's how disrespectful I felt for Vitchie Short. Don't you ever fucking go out in the parking lot. He gave him a smack. And I fucking just went off on him there. They held them back.

You know, they helped me back. I would have fucking killed this kid in 99. I was out of my fucking mind. And then about three, maybe six months later, I saw him at the store and he had the guitar. And I made my fucking thing. And he had a couple cocktails in. And his buddy had a cocktail of him.

And I had an Iineken bottle in my hands. And I was standing by the men's bathroom. And they were standing maybe seven, eight feet away. And as I was coming out of the bathroom, he said to me, did you just go in the bathroom and do a line of Coke, see you can be funny? And I go, the funny thing is, I don't need Coke to be funny. I do Coke after I get offstage.

You, you're here with your fucking guitar. You fucking not. and he's like, fuck you, let's go at it. And before he stepped, I unleashed that bottle of Hineken at him and it hit the wall behind him. And him and the other guy just ran away. And I never heard nothing about it. The next day, I'm driving to the store,

and I look in front of coaching horses, and the comic he was with was there. And the guy made eye contact with me. He goes, hey, well, let me talk to you. He goes, that thing last night had nothing to do with me. Fuck him. He's not going to get me in trouble again. That's like the 10th fight.

gotten into it. Kid was a nightmare. Oh my God. There was a lot of guys that would go to a store just to complain in those days. They thought they had some power. And they irritated me to no end. Yeah. Because I complained once, I got put in my place, and I never fucking complained again.

I'm a fucking heavy complainer. I've never complained. I was afraid to ask her for, like, hey, Mitzi, I have a family dinner, and I got to go to dinner. I might not be able to go up until later. maybe, you know, like I'm available, but I, somebody... No, she refused that. She refused that.

If she gave me the car. You had to call it for every night. You said, I have to go bring your dad there, bring everybody to the store. She didn't give a fuck. She told me that once in her office one time. She goes, these fucking comics, they don't want to be comics. Right. But then they make plans to be dinner. Comics don't got a fucking dinner.

It's true. You don't... She used to unleash shit in front of me that I would look at and go, you're right. You don't do. And I'll never forget that I did a showcase. And I made dinner plans and I went to that garlic restaurant. Oh, Christ. And I walked out of this smell like 22, I'm like this fucking guy when he's got flies chasing. And let me tell you something.

And I showcased and the people came up to me and shook my hand. They didn't call me the next day. She didn't sure they didn't. Because I smelled like a fucking like compass bag that was dead for four fucking days. She always said it. Don't go out the dinner before you do comedy. I want your mind on comedy. That's why she didn't serve food at the comedy store.

Yeah, she didn't like that. Because she didn't like people eating. I agree. The rules are like, it has to be. No, she was rules, man. A dark room with kind of a low ceiling. Girls have to be serving drinks, and it has to be after dark outside. You know, those are their rules.

Yeah, she had rules, Brad. And, you know, it's funny how the other day somebody sent me a link, some jerk off that was putting me and Ari down and me and a bunch of other people. And then they went into this whole comedy store thing about how the comedy store isn't really the comedy store anymore. What I'm sitting there going? Yes, so, whatever. I mean. What the fuck are you talking about? You would survive three minutes.

Just a shock. I know. I know for a fact. I can see somebody and I know now from where I was when I walked into the comedy story, who I thought I was in my head, the first six months were not a pretty fucking situation. No. At all. It's a mess.

It's a mess. You're just trying anything. You're a mess. You're a mess as a human being. Yeah. You're just trying to survive. And you don't know if that's your last. spot in there. Right. You don't know if she just saw you and that's your last spot in there.

That's a fuck. That's PTSD. That's why I was doing all that fucking blow and whatever the fuck I could do in those days. Yeah. It's so many different scenarios that are going on. You have to block out so many things you have to just not think about. But but yeah, man, I always was comfortable with Mitzi in the room. I always still like it. But there was a time in, um, uh, when she was, man, you know, Tommy had Mitzi in. Right. And she had a lot of dementia. By that time, it was no good. She didn't recognize me on stage.

Once Tommy got there, listen, once Tommy got there, it was the beginning of the end. Tommy was the kiss of death. Tommy bought the final debt the fucking debt on the Mitzis. I don't give a fuck on anybody tells you. Look at the store during those years. It was too much controversy, and it was different type of controversy. It wasn't friendly controversy. It wasn't you and me having a beef over a joke or something you said.

It was a little bit deeper. You had comics running a ship controlling lineup. It was a deeper, darker time, and he was lying to Mitsy the whole time. Mitchie didn't know whether it was Monday or Tuesday. So he was the only conduit to Mitzie telling Aaron what Mitzie said, even though Mitzie didn't know what planned she was on. So that's when I bowed out. I go, something is not here.

The one day I walked in there, and she looked at me weird, it was like 2007, and it was, I think I didn't. Yes, I still was doing blow after I left the store. But I went in there to pick up a check, and I saw her on the way down, and I saw something. I saw something that it was weird, and I remember walking out of that door, and I said to myself, I'm not coming back to this place. And I remember calling Rogan. I remember when you said it.

Rogan, I'm advising you don't go back to this place. Yeah. And Rogan was hot. He was on Fear Factor. He told me he didn't give a fuck what I had to say, that he was going to be. go down there and maybe a month or two after that he got thrown out. And Mitzie called Rogan and told him he was okay. I don't know what the exact story is.

It was Fico who went against Rogan because he wanted the other fucking dickhead to be there. To be the star of the store. So he chose Mncia. So he chose Mncia and the other fucking moron. So that's what happened at that time period. By that time period, I knew I was done. I remember you told me once on the back steps, you were like, no, man, I'm done around here. You know, you young guys, you know, blah, blah, blah.

And you were like, it wasn't too long after that where you really went around. If you're in Michigan, you have to stick to your fucking nails in life and in comedy. You know, all those years were my addiction years, but I still had it sharp. I was still booking movies. I was still getting up in the morning. Did you ever get that Spider-Man money? You got all your Spider-Man money? Oh, fuck, yeah.

That was great. That shit comes in the mail. It was the best. Yeah, I remember, that was 14 days. on a set yeah for one line and then you did all those lifetime or no hallmark and I did three different weeks so it counts as a half a point each week yeah so I got a point in a hand it was a good one man too though that's every three months yeah that was that's because I had to wait a year an option no you wait 90 days yeah wait 90 days you get that first check in the

mail maybe six months yes you look at your little sag and see your sigils and you look at the date when it gets mailed out. Ooh, and you call your Coke dealer and tell him, listen, I'm coming over Wednesday with a big fucking envelope. You understand me, Cugs Nugger? No, man, that's for real. No, those were, I was still a stand-up. Yeah, but I remember that whole situation there with,

yeah, everybody knew that Tommy was probably not telling us what he was telling her. No, no, no. Who knows? And he was so fake to my face. He was fake to everybody. That's what bothered you. That's what got me. He came out.

one night with the other skunkback. Thanks for coming tonight. He came one night with the other fucking scumbag and they threatened me. It doesn't even matter to say him the fucking salute of death. He threatened me. They threatened me in a weird way. Me, I was so fucked up on drugs and so out of it at that point that I didn't look at it as a threat until I got home. And I almost got up there in the morning, went up there, went to smack. But then I thought about something. I thought about what your longevity is in any comedy club. If Lee was to walk into Laugh Boston today,

even if he was an exceptional comedian, exceptional from day one, after six years, they would tell Lee you have to sit a shit on the pot. What does that mean? You gotta go out to LA and get some credits or I can only headline you one week or hear you. Yeah.

A year here. That's it. You got to make a move. So I had been, at the comedy store. It was 97, 98, 99, and now it was 2005, maybe.

It was time for me to go. I had overstayed my welcome. It was my fault, but I didn't do anything with those seven years. That's what I feel like. Yes. I did something with those seven years, but at the time, I was like, I didn't use those seven years to my advantage. You always feel like I had grown up to be a great comic.

I knew how to fucking improvise. I was, you know, you say something really important. You know that you learn how to do comedy with Mitzie in the room. Can I ask you a personal question here? Is there anything scary than that at the time? No, it's the most nervous thing ever because, but the fact that I could get on stage, block it out, and go, I know my act.

I, you know, I was doing some triple things, you know, whatever, where I, you have to do 30, now I'm only doing, 15 and I just stuck to my guns and then I was like the fact that I was able to block it out with her and just focus and still be with the crowd was an achievement and when you block it out you're basically saying like man she's seen everything don't worry about that you know it was like trust it was like I trusted her after about a year or two I looked at from two different directions I looked at that she didn't care whether you did new or used or old material. She just wanted you to come out to be yourself.

Yeah. I got that point from her. Yeah, that's what I was trying to show. I was trying to show her more of what I. That's what she saw in me. I wanted her to see that. She would see more. That's what she wanted.

She wanted you, even if the joke bombs, she wanted you to commit to that joke. Right. And she would say something to you. Good commitment. Yeah. Let me tell you something. Quick story about you. Lee, there was a show called K-Loco.

Kloco was a comedy show on Tulemundo or Gallivision or whatever And it was like Mostly Spanish-speaking comics But after a few years They just started mixing in a lot of different people But it's basically a Spanish channel

But a lot of local comics were getting a spot on it So it's 9-11 happens September 11th This is in October This is October after 9-11 I was already booked to do this K-Loco

Kloco. And we went down there and they shoot like a bunch of episodes in a row. And I bailed on my Arab jokes because I was like, I don't, you know, shit just happened like four weeks ago. And so I changed them all. And my whole thing and I was like, I'll talk about that girlfriend joke and then girls and guys and whatever. And I went out there and just it just wasn't good. And it was just bad. And I just couldn't get laughs.

And people are like, what the fuck is your act? What do you hear for? You know what I mean? It's a Spanish show with black and different, you know, ethnicities, you know, it's kind of like, do your ethnic shit. This is your crowd. You know what I mean? And I didn't, I didn't know how to handle like that right after 9-11 a month later.

I didn't know what to say yet. So anyway, they do a curtain call at the end of the show. They don't call my name. Right? I've been standing around since 6 p.m. Now it's fucking 9.30, 10. You know what I mean? And I finally got out there to do my six minutes and I'm just fucking sweating. I get off stage. Nobody wants to tell me exactly what happened. Nobody can comprehend. You know, just it was just a bomb, right? And Bobby had left. He was my ride. Bobby Lee, he was gone. And so you were like, come on, I'll give you a ride. Fucking, I can. get in the fucking car and we're like you have a little car and we're just fucking flying now i'm one 34 and i was like so happy that i was out of there and you were like you didn't really acknowledge it you just i don't think you saw it you know you're just like whatever you know you just gave me a pep talk we just fucking rattled our way all the way to fucking los feel is and

you dropped me off and i was like that whole nightmare was over but i'll never forget that fucking right home i was also a little scared because you were coked up too you were like you're this the show the show went great we did a little fucking this little that or driving you you're going to the store wherever you're going and uh and you were you were on fire ericator come on ericator come on it's fucking you know it was basically a pep talk but uh i don't remember anything we were saying i used to you know when i wake up in the morning i put something on twitter and people always say it's rude or whatever but this is the things i used to tell myself whether after Once 2000, 2001 came here, I was a different individual.

I stopped carrying, and that's what made me more dangerous. Yep, yeah, that's it. Once you stop carrying, it makes you more dangerous than an individual. You do. So all those bombings, I was talking myself out of it. I was very good. By the way, I just described my top two bombs right there. Yeah.

That first set in the OR that I sat back and watched Paul Mooney all night, and that K-Loco thing. And then there was one other, though I have a top three. after that you know what I mean you can't keep track of fucking everything but I just remember those bombs bro yeah I mean 10,000 good bombs when I bomb my bombing style but yeah if you're gonna I bomb with a tuxedo you're the you gotta be probably world-class top like pantheon of of bombing with the fucking with with with a with the personnel with a fucking you know bombing making an art of it nor McDonald's great at it right There's comics who are just so, they make bombing and art, they take it to the, to anywhere they want.

Then it's like once everybody's united against you, everybody's united. You can take them on any place. You can take them on any gift you want. And it's easier. When I first, there was a period at the store where I would take long pauses. I practiced taking long pauses on purpose. Horrible. Horrible.

I do not suggest it to anybody. No, Barnhart does it. Horrible. Horrible long pauses. to put myself in deep pose. And that's how I learned how to get myself on a deep pose was take long fucking poses.

And people would be sitting there staring and I wouldn't say a word. You know what taught me? Andrew Dice Klau. I was going to say that's a dice thing. Andrew Dice Clay would go. I still remember Andrew coming out to me when he goes, you want to hold for me this weekend? Go up on stage and don't say a

fucking word for three minutes. You did that shit? I did it. That's great. With three minutes? Three minutes. Do anything. thing, but say a word. Don't say a word for three minutes and you come to Vegas.

Jay London's another Cuban Jew, I think, isn't he? Jay London. I don't even know Jay London. Oh, I haven't seen him. I haven't seen him. I don't fucking know. Remember Jet London? Yeah, I haven't seen him in a long time, man, at all. Yeah, I haven't seen him a while either. What's this thing you got coming out? Talk to me. These guys, these filmmakers, they've been

in the business, you know, and they haven't made a film in a long time, and they really, you know, felt motivated with the times were in and they went and asked all the Middle Eastern comedians that they could find how they are dealing with Trump in the age of Trump. How are the community how are the Middle Eastern comedians handling it because you know used to be a thing that there were even Middle Eastern comedians now there's you know a lot you know it's probably like 50 that are like really good

I mean, that's crazy how fast things, there was none. There was three, there was four. I was one of the first four. There was people who came before us, but they never said that they, the Arab had nothing to do with it. They would hide it or they just wasn't relevant, right? So getting like that. So anything changed. Now they're going back.

They interviewed everybody, you know, Amaz and Russell Peter and all the brown comedians, you know. but um but then anyway so they just were cool guys they were doing interviews and then they started like getting focused on my family and how i took kind of my flight from comedy and married i married outside of comedy you know i didn't marry comedy i actually have a wife i didn't marry comedy i guess i didn't choose because i actually went out and i married a woman yeah no you know beautiful woman from alberta right and marr was married an attorney and yeah yeah nobody married the common idea. I pursued that. So anyway, they were interested in my life and so they shot a lot of that and with my baby.

So then they end up, you know, using this picture on the poster. But yeah, they really used me as a big focus of the movie. To just tell a story of, you know, how to deal with this, what's going on and all the politics, you know. And like, you know, there was the travel ban, Muslims. Then there's just all the immigrants and, uh, uh, uh, uh, is. All of that stuff, all of that shit, you know, but from our perspective, as Middle Eastern people. Where does this come out now? Okay, so they're doing screenings.

What is this? So October 19th? Yeah. Yeah, through 21st, there's going to be in Palace Verdes. This is going nationwide. Yeah, it's going nationwide. They're just having, they're just having like the little world premiere. So.

Is there a website they could go to? Yeah, so it's called travel ban, like travel ban, colon, make America laugh again. But travel ban, make America laugh again. You can find that on Facebook or you can just Google the movie, and you'll see the dates are October 19th through the 25th. And in New York on December 14th through 20th in Brooklyn, Alpine Cinemas. so they're having these one-week engagements in L.A. and New York. So, yeah, it's a documentary.

It's just about, it's basically a documentary about comedians. How many times have you seen that, right? Just follow a bunch of comedians, see what their take is, how they're dealing with the times we're in, with the Trump and all this shit. You know, there was no Middle Eastern or Indian comics until YouTube came along. And then from that country, they saw the artist stand-up comedy because I remember Gabriel. Douglasus. He was about that one time that he went over there.

Yeah, we took him over to Amman Jordan. Right. How big Utah. Yeah. How big YouTube was. How they were learning how to do stand-up. They were finishing his jokes. Yeah, from watching YouTube.

Over there, his name is Jibril. They're like, Jibril. And he's like, you know, fluffy and everything. And they knew all of his shit. He showed up. Police went crazy. They were finishing his jokes. He was like, what the fuck?

We met the king. The king has this over. You know, like the king, oh, man, I shouldn't tell the story, man. He delayed Russell Peter's flight. Like, we're all on the same flight. Fluffy and his group of eight or whatever, they're awesome, you know. And then Russell, his couple of people.

And it's like, you know, Ma's and me and I think, oh, no, Dean Obadala. And we all get to the airport and they detain Russell and like did some crazy interrogation and just turned out there was a fucking you know

he was fucking with him they're like the king's like give him the business you know what I mean just give him the business make him like let everybody in

and make it seem like he's gonna miss his flight and he can't go home and then but don't delay the flight you know just get him on their last minute they took him around did some shit

I don't know what they did fuck him I don't Joking around with them. It was a pleasure seeing you, man. All right, Godfather. I'm happy that you took the time out. We talked about you coming on the podcast a year ago. Yeah, man.

I bumped into you and we, you know, I just, like I tell people, if you're not at the store and I don't see you, it's so tough. I know. It's hard to remember everybody. With family, with kids. Man, it's great for you. Yeah. You know, you just have, so please forgive me.

It's nothing personal. It's just that you're down there. You have such a short window. People contact you. Yep. And things get in the way. But I saw your flyer. No, man.

As soon as I can get... I wanted to give you some love, brother. As soon as you saw that, you'd call me and I'm here and I'm like, man, this, I'm just blessed to know you. Yeah. You know what we do. To ever be thought of. And Lee, I'm going to think of you sometime. It's great to meet you, buddy.

Because you know what? To be thought of is sometimes, you know, that's what you want because sometimes you want because sometimes you worry about what people think, but really, you know, that they would even think. and think that you would even be in their sphere of people that you would know, like the fact that I could be somewhere in your mind is like we, you know, are cousins and family at the store. You're under my brother. Yeah. I call my brother Georgie Kaye and you're right under him.

Georgie? And I don't know how many times I go to pressure. I'm like, I got nothing to talk to me about. He doesn't think I'm a weirdo. But then I forgot that I'm the king of the check-in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got a check-in. Don't text me.

Don't do nothing. Just call me. Just call me and we'll be cool like motherfuckers. I know. And I wanted to call you and just reach out. I saw your poster. You always stay. And I wanted you to come on because your family.

I love you to death and I love that. You never judge me when I was going through all my problems. I wanted to repay you the favor and tell you to your face. Never. You never shunned me. You dealt with me as an addict and you always shown me respect. So I never forgot that. So thank you very much.

Before we end, I'm going to be at the Improv in West Palm Beach next weekend. over 11 through the 13th. Don't quote me on the Thursday. I think I might take it out, but I'll keep you guys posted. I got a meeting that day. I got some shit going on. And number two,

I'm over at Hallarees in Cleveland with my man, George Perez, October 25th through the 27th. Do you have anything coming up beside the movie? Oh, what am I doing? The Arab American Comedy Festival in New York City every year.

We do it at the annual. We're in his 15th year. What's the dates? October 11th through 14th. Good. I don't have to compete with you, motherfuckers. I got my own demons that's going to compete with. I love you, Aaron, Kela.

Love you. Number one, since I started this podcast, people always ask me for advice. Usually it's what team to bet. I don't know if I think about betting on whether, you know me, dog, I can't. But the truth is, I know who's going to win. But if you think you know, you got to check out my bookie. Remember,

who you're betting on is just as important, that's who you're betting with. That's why I tell people to bet with my bookie. Trust me, guys, they're the best bet this season. They've been in business for years. They got great reviews online and their mobile site is easy to use. I would only recommend a service to the church family that's been good to me. You understand me? Who do you think I'm putting in the bet for Connor McGregor and fucking Kabeem this weekend? My bookie. Why? Because

you win, they fucking pay. That's why I'm merging you to make your way to my bookie. They have in-game, live betting over and under is on fantasy points scored and the most rewarding player perks in the goddamn business. Now, my bookie is so fucking good that they're slammed with new bettors, but they want to give everybody the best service possible, especially us from the church.

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So use promo code church, C-H-U-C-H-H to activate the offer. Visit my bookie online today. Do yourself a favor and Uncle Joey your favor. Go to my bookie. All right. On top of that, when you're creating the account put in church and they claim up to $1,000 in free play. If you're willing to hold

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favorite of all time. Listen, It's been six fucking seven years I've been using this stuff. Whether it's the alpha brain, the Shroom Tech Sport, the Shroom Tech immune, and the protein shakes, I live off this stuff. Now I got the little Omega three bars I take with me on the road. That's what I ate today instead of getting the chocolate chip cookie. It's fucking tremendous on the way back from Boston. So listen, do me a favor. Go to honor.com right now.

Get started with the Shroom Tech immune or the Shroom Tech Sport. If you're working out, you're not going to fucking be sorry. And the alpha brain, you're having a hard time focusing thing And it is the way to go Without in the fucking Adam and all that shit Alpha Brain will tune you to fuck up I want to thank Boston again for a tremendous weekend I want to thank Foxwoods

I want to thank Aaron Kater I want to thank the flying Jew But most importantly I want to thank you guys on a Monday morning Once I thought but first we start from zero cock suckers Go do what you got to do have a great week Uncle Joey here kick that fucking Mulee Open that door from here Cana?

I want to be around to pick up the pieces when somebody breaks your heart some somebody twice as smart as I a somebody who will swear to be true as you used to do with me who leave you to learn that misery loves company Wait and see I want to be around See how he does it When he breaks your heart

Two bits Let's see if a puzzle fits So fine That's when I'll discover That revenge End is sweet. Seat.

When somebody breaks your heart like you.