The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #626 - Michael Bisping and Luis J. Gomez

Episode Date: October 16, 2018

Michael Bisping, former UFC champion and actor, and Luis J. Gomez, comedian and the head of the Gas Digital podcast network, host the "Believe You Me" podcast together and join Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio.  This podcast is brought to you by:  Hims - Go to ForHims.com/joey for $20 off your first month of the hims anti-aging kit.   MyBookie.com -  Use code promo Church to get up to a 100% match on your first deposit up to $1,000.   Blue Apron: Go to blueapron.com/JOEY to get your first THREE meals for free.    Recorded live on 10/15/18.  

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Again, forhems.com slash Joey. The church is also brought to you by family, my bookie, all right? Listen, watching football is fun and the UFC and, you know, MBAs right around the corner. Who gives a fuck, all right? You want to sit there with a bunch of guys eating fucking nachos? That's your business.

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Uncle Joey, bitchy. Here we go. Little Michael Bisping. What's up, Joey? My man Gomez. Oh, shit. The great Joey Diaz, Lysai. The Christ killer.

I'm on the cover of your magazine. Hit it. Notice me, motherfucker. That's what everybody's thinking nowadays. We're in studio with my man Gomez. I like the little Lewis Gomez, but I like the name Gomez better. Brings me back to my Adam family.

You know, if you're speaking about him, he likes, and he always corrects me on it, it's Jay Gomez. Louis J. Gomes, but that's Joey. Which is a little bit wankerish. I'm just going to throw it out there. And fucking former world champion and just great, all-around guy,

Mr. Michael Bisbing. Congratulations, thank you. Oh, pleasure to be here, Joey. It's fucking great to have you both in the studio. It's exciting, man. It's been a long time coming. We've talked about doing this show a few times now, and we're able to make this one happen,

which is great because you're the best. You guys do your show once a week? Well, it used to be once a week, believe you me. But lately it's been twice a week. We keep calling it a bonus episode. But I'm retired these days. I don't have much you do. I'm like, fuck it, let's do another show.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, it's bonus episode, you know? You know, life's going nowhere when I've got doing five bonus episodes a week. Yeah, it's like really it's just you want to talk to a friend, but you have to call it a bonus episode. That was just alone in Orange County. Exactly, no friends.

How old are you now, Mike? 39. You're beautiful. You look great. God bless you. Thank you. I appreciate that. Thank you very much.

You're happy to be retired? Very much so. Very much, yeah. I mean, I spoke about it on our show. You know, I definitely went out on my own terms, but, you know, a lot of injuries over the years. I still feel like I could definitely compete. In fact, I know I can, but you got things going on, busy, you know. So, yeah, you can't do it forever.

My wife wanted me to retire for years, you know. She wanted me to retire. Tyra a long time ago. But yeah, yeah, very happy with it. You look great, man. God bless you. You know, it's, it changes. It changes.

And what we do and what they do is an art. And it's kind of similar. You have to know where you stand and whether or not stand in training. And it's the same thing, you know. I feel like when I shot that Netflix special, it was like how Holloway felt after he got beat up by Connor.

You know, Holloway and Dustin Porre both improved dramatically after they lost to kind of because you see what your faults are a lot more like i saw i fucked up on stage in a way i mean i had a good set and all and i'm excited that it's coming out but it's weird how we grow as artists and fighters how you well it's an all cliche that you learn more from your losses than you do from your victories and it's absolutely true i mean of course it's great to win fights you want to go out there and kick ass and win and be the man all that shit um you don't learn anything in fact if anything you just pick up

bad habits. You get away with stuff that you shouldn't be getting away with. Because one day someone's going to get you. One day someone's going to make you honest. When you lose a fight, case in point, when I lost Dan Henderson, my first loss in the UFC, fucking terrible loss, you know, I changed a lot of shit, changed a lot of things. And it made me a better man, made me a better fighter. Same thing as you're saying, would stand up with anything, really, you know? Yeah, well, I think in the beginning of Santa, that's why I think you, you're just not very good in the beginning. So you're just, you're dealing with those losses a lot. So that's

why you learn so much in the beginning because you just kind of stink and you like have to you have to get up and want to sort of to do it in the beginning it's fucking weird I wouldn't I don't think I could ever start over again thinking about it could you could you go back and start over well well I was thinking then I used to be a nightclub DJ for a year for 15 years DJ Mikey Bee prior to being a fighter yeah but it's a very different scene you got to you know you've got to become a good DJ and you got to play all the shitty fucking venues and the empty nightclubs or oh my god there's seven people in here it's going off to Manchester.

Yeah, yeah, Manchester, great at Manchester. I'm from a small town just outside of Manchester. And how old are you when you started DJ? 16. And what type of music?

What dance music? House music. Two things with a computer. Two turntables? Yeah, turntables. It's really big in England, right? It's fucking huge, massive dancing. Yeah, yeah.

See, I started martial arts at eight years old, and I was obsessed with it. That's all I did. But then I left school at 16, I got a job working in some shitty factory. And I'm walking home, and I popped into my friend

I had to smoke a joint and he had some turntables. I was like, holy fuck. I thought it was the coolest thing I ever saw. So fuck martial arts. Let's try and become a DJ. And I put all my efforts into that really. And then when I realized that I'm never going to be a fucking world famous DJ getting paid tons of money,

I went back to martial arts and came to the UFC. That's pretty much my life story in a minute. But when I hear like guys that start fighting and they're like five for 50 bucks in the valley at a bar. Like in the beginning, it's the same one night as we do. Yeah. And then you get like 9 and 0 in the amateur fucking racket. And then you sign on to some lower league.

And then you knock three motherfuckers out there. And then the UFC comes a calling. And the first fight could be short notice or whatever. Yeah. It's like when, you know, I don't forget. I was writing something today about 2000 how. I thought I had the pieces together in my life. And I got a call to do the desert in with Dave Attell.

and some of the New York comic. Well, I never called the Bookerback and the night before the night of the show when I got to the green room, they switched the line up. It was Tim Allen. Oh, man. And here I am.

So you weren't on? Oh, I was on. But I was working with Tim Allen. Right. Oh, shit, right. And he was on the show still. He was still on whatever. Yeah, yeah.

He was still a big fucking deal. And I walked in there, prepared for a towel, like a 20-minute set before a towel. Yeah. And now Tim Allen's there. And I didn't know what the fuck. to do and he was pretty cool and he told me it's you know you learn as you go along like it's it's the same thing as fighting you just learn as you go along and then when you get beat by something new

you switch it up like some nights you're like i'm gonna go out there improvise and you get lit up like you eat a bag of dog shit and now you either go well i'm gonna improvise you get better at it i'm not gonna ever do it again it's the same thing with fighting you know well i mean i think it's just you know, whatever it is, it takes a weird, it's a weird personality type to get into either one. When you really think about it, dude, like, you know, getting on stage,

people are really fucking terrified of that. Like, people that haven't done it before, speaking in front of, even, dude, the first time I, for the first couple years I did Santa was terrified. I think it's number two on the list. Yeah, death and then public speaking. Public speaking. But I'm sure far behind that

is probably getting into a fist fighter being punched in the face. People just, for you to want to do it before you know how to do it, it takes a weird thing. Like, why would you, being a comic being comic or a fight

how to fight. Before you know how to fight what's drawing you to put yourself in that type of danger it's just a most people think it's fucking crazy I agree with what you're saying and probably more so these days

because these days as a sport's bigger UFC's bigger and it's more open it's a job opportunity for more people these days but from my background and who I am it wasn't a fucking job opportunity this is what I did

it was all I know I had no education and I was just out there scrapping guys. And I wanted to make something of my life and give my children a better life. You know, so it wasn't like a conscious decision of, I'm going to be a fire. It's too bizarre thing. I always was a fighter.

But a lot of old school guys, that's the same kind of thing. I'm not unique. I'm not special. You know, back in the day when there wasn't much money to be made. But now you look, you know, you've got these people, fresh face, education, great family. So what the fuck are you fighting in an octagon for?

You've got tons of options. You know, so I think these. these days is a new breed of fighters you know well i mean everyone loves money but i can't the first time i got punched in the face i think i'd be retired like what is it like the first time you get punched in the face by like an actual fight or not like just someone out by i don't know i used to get punched in the face a lot as a kid my mom with the heel the sharp end of her the heel of her shoe was the particularly painful one i did karate from the age of six to 16 and i used to go to these three-point tournaments

where there were no contact from the head. It was only from the top of the neck to the body, to the waist. And I would go through these tournaments, and I'd win, Michael Bisbee. I was pretty fucking good. Joey Karate. And forget about the form competitions. I would fuck you up with forms because I would practice someone with a string in the thing, and I would bob my head and throw the punches under the strings.

I was great. And then something happened in the sixth grade. I got into a fucking real fist fight. And it was horrifying. And you thought all this fucking fancy cat of bullshit doesn't do shit when I tried to bite your nose off. I tried to kick the guy and the guy went right through it. And he broke my nose.

I got one good shot on him. I got him a black eye and we were both in the same grade. I could taste the blood coming from my nose and my mouth. The whole fucking, you know, type of deal. And I had an idea right there. I'm like, I don't think this fighting shit is for me. And then once my, I went through. my shit and I was a tough guy

I thought I was a tough guy and I started flipping these fucking perverts down in Hudson County Park and I would go down there with six friends and we flip a guy and take his money that type of shit married guys who want to get that dick suck but one night I went down there by myself and so today

it came close I'm by myself no one knows Michael Bisbein I was doing I was hitting the bag I was fucking doing five sets of six. I had this guy by 20 pounds. I thought I hit him with everything I got.

He just flipped his face, look back at me, Michael Bisbing threw 20 punches at me in the dark. And he was black. No, no, no, no. He didn't see him got me. He was a fucking white dude that just lit me at Michael Bisbee. And I had my hands up like this,

like a boxer. I don't know how he was getting through. He punched me 20 times. I punched him in the neck out of fear. Like, this is all I had. And he held onto his neck, and I ran around him. And I did a 4, 440 in 3.2 minutes. And I never went back to Hudson County Park again.

But I knew when I looked at, I had lumps all over my head from the beating he gave me. And I knew right then and there, I'm like, that tough guy shit, that just ended my life right there. Yeah. I do not want to be a tough guy. I do not want to collect for the mafia. I don't want to do none of that shit. It's a weird thing because there's people who are like, there's people who are down to like, you know,

like if I go to a bar, it's somebody tries to fuck with me. I will not let that happen. I carry myself in a way that I, you know, I'm just not, but I'm not fucking tough like that. Like I,

you see people, you see like videos on the internet where people get into fights and then they hit the guy and the guy goes down and then they keep going and they want to hurt this person. And there's none of that. me like it's like you know i'm i grew up where like you get into a fight out back with some dude you punch each other a couple times you have a beer afterwards and that's sort of the end of it then you see like real deal fucking like you're living in an 80s movie by the sounds of it yes you

get into a fight come on buddy good one you got me good there john let's go share a bud light i'm like where the fuck did you grow off he breaks a pool cue on my arm i'm like hey man we can be friends now um but it's just and there are like hood fucking people that are like real deal you know that know that are violent and i think that's really the difference forget just like you know knowing how to fight or anything else like they're like real violent people out there when you said you get into like a lot of fights when you're kid was like some violent shit like like was like crazy shit like a lot of crazy shit that i don't really want to talk about you know but i will to a certain degree but yeah yeah i mean i grew up in a small town called clitherall

which is a beautiful place but uh there was there was so much fucking violence there really was just nothing too crazy, but I just mean fist fights, but lots of them that were hardcore, you know, and people would, you know, people would get hurt all the time. And it was just fucking, see, on the main street, there was this street and it had like 25, 30 pubs, people just went from pub to pub to pub to pub, and about five deep into the pubs. That's where all the fights would start, you know. And people were just drunk and being tough guys. Yeah, and there was like different sets of people. Looking back, it was a fucking gang. They were gangs, but we never realized that that group there are dicks. Well, we don't like

that group and that group doesn't like. and you know by the end of it it was stupid childish shit you know but like bottles and pool hues and shit yeah yeah all that stuff that's crazy i'd never made a person bleed in a like a bloody nose like a little bit of a fat lip but i'd never like been in a fight where like me and my friends were beating somebody else up so much where they were like bleeding from their head and we were just still going yeah i have i have i have never been that i've since some fucking crazy shit. I've never been in that situation, but I've been in situations

that a good friend of mine has said something or done something where I'm like, this guy's the real deal. I had two or three friends throwing up. When we were doing that shit that we would go down and attack those fucking married dudes, I would get their dicks up. I don't know if we

were chasing a guy one night. One guy that was a really dear friend of mine looked at me and he goes, I got a knife. I'm going to cut him. I'll never forget that. And he He was dead serious. Wow. And I had to pull him off together.

Stop. Let me cut him just one time. And I was like, Jesus Christ, I'm hanging out with damage goods, but he's my brother. What am I going to do? What are you going to do? That's an interesting point. It's, that's why I tell people you don't know the animal you're dealing with. I have always said this, like in the UFC, I tell you, I think somebody who could kill somebody, Carlos Conduit.

Oh. Something about Carlos Condo. If I was a drug being natural born killer. Hey, hey, hey, hey. tell you a story about Carlos Kandah, and I've told it a bunch of times on the podcast and whatnot. I went out to Afghanistan, myself, Uriah Fabor, Carlos Kandah, and BJ Penn. A bunch of crazy shit happened, flying all around the little, the fobs, the fort operational bases, high up in the mountains of Afghanistan.

We started off at Bagram, which is like a huge base, which is crazy, because they're out there at a war zone. But it's like, it's like a fucking town. You get a massage. There's tanning booze. There's Dairy Queen Burger. King, the big bases are fucking legit, excuse me, but the fobs are in the middle of nowhere. There might be like, you know, 10, 15 people, special forces in like a small, tiny camp.

And we were going around to those places on a Black Hawk helicopter, just, you know, meeting them to whatever. A few places, we did some training with them. And we're up high in the mountains. As I said, there were special forces, you know, fighting a fucking war in Afghanistan. So, you know, tough dudes mentally, you know, but we're professional fighters. and they had a boxing ring in the little makeshift gym they had but there was a little boxing ring

and they wanted to spar and they said you want to spar I'm like yeah fuck it you know I'm not going to say no I'm not a pussy but the guy was cool he was cool you know so we put gloves up

and we just took it real like nice and easy he was a respectful guy you know and he was like yeah that's cool and we shook hands we had a little sweat real nice

then this other guy said all right Carlos you want to go and Carlos yeah yeah all good and they get in the ring and the guy says to Carlos how hard we're going to go?

And Carlos says, well, I'll hit you as hard as you hit me, which I thought was a fucking beautiful answer. And the guy was an asshole because straight after that, bang! Punch Carlos in the face as hard as he fucking could. Dropped him. Dropped him. Drop Carlos. Carl's got up.

Shook it off, went forward, jab, right hand, left high kick, out cold, through the robes like this knocked him out cold but it was like they're looking his eye you know when he did it and I was like yeah probably not the smartest thing to do

they've all got weapons we're out in a fucking there's about 15 of them up in the mountains of Afghanistan we could disappear pretty easily perhaps we want to get out of here but going back to your point exactly 100%

there's people that take it easy and they're nice people and there's people that are not and people never know It's like I always think about OJ. Like, they didn't know. Like, they didn't fucking know. You know, John McCarthy had a great explanation about OJ

that he had that shit that football players had only in reverse. CTE. CTE. CTE. And that's why he did that. What do you mean in reverse? ETC? Like, it made him lash out. You know, it made him lash out.

Yeah. And he kept it under control. Like, I've been watching that thing on FX because you're on the road. You mean it was like a tick? taking time bomb waiting to explode. I think the cops got called to the house. Yeah, they were, weren't there? He was, he got in trouble before for domestic abuse.

Oh, no, no, the cops got called to the house. It is in three years, the number is astronomical. I don't want to repeat it because I don't want to look like an asshole. But if you watch, they went, they went a bunch. The people versus O.J. Simpson. Yeah. When the tape got leaked that the, I guess you know his record. You've been here before.

Yeah. And OJ. We're sitting here going, like, yeah, nobody knew was a ticking time bomb. She was like, I knew. I fucking do. He was beating me up every weekend. She went to a woman's homeless, a woman's bad shelter five days before he killed. Oh, really?

Yeah, like, it's pretty interesting. So she's kind of an asshole for bringing Ron Goldman around then, because she knew what the fuck was going on. Ron Goldman was a Coke delivery. Really? Is that really what it was? They found out years later, Mesaluna was just a Coke dealer that was at a restaurant, and he washed, he laundered his money through there.

See if you see the article. It was a big time. I moved out here as that shit was going on. and I met a girl, and she told me that he wasn't drunk. When was the last time you went to a restaurant and left your glasses, and they came back and gave him to the house. Either he was fucking her, but he wasn't fucking her. She was waiting for Marcus Allen dick.

Marcus Allen was banging. And he was just dropping off a Coke package. They never found. I just remember being in, when this whole trial was going on, I was just annoyed because it was like 12. And I just, my mom was fucking just so engaged with it. I was supposed to go to a WWF event. remember and we were late because my mom just was glued to court TV this is the court

TV this was the first this like opened up that whole category of like reality television it was like real world in the oj Simpson trial kind of like made everyone like so last night in bed I was watching some show there that Tom Hanks produced on Netflix called the 90s right and it's pretty good pretty good really yeah yeah yeah it's interesting and the OJ Simpson trial is plays a part of it part of what happened in the 90s and they go into details but growing up in England, obviously it wasn't quite a submerged into our culture as it was for you guys. Of course, it was on the news. We heard about it.

But, you know, for one, I was younger, so I didn't really give a fuck. And nobody watches American football in England. So no one really had an idea who it was. But after watching that last night, and of course, I've seen the show and I've seen documentaries and stuff. I know how big of a deal it was. But it wasn't the same in England. No one really cared.

It was just another criminal lawsuit, you know? Yeah. Yeah. It was such a, it was everything. I mean, I was in sixth grade, maybe. I don't know, seventh grade. They wheeled in TVs for the day they gave up the verdict. It was like the end of the school year.

It was like June or something. It must have been. And they wheeled in TVs and the teachers to stop giving a fuck. They were like, we're not teaching today. We're just watching this. And you just heard the classroom split. It was crazy. The teachers would be cheering or like screaming curse words based off it because ever,

this was also the first story that sort of split America. Like my mom was so pro OJ Simpson. It was bizarre. My mom was like, OJ didn't do it. That was that. She was on his side. You know, if the glove doesn't fit, you must have quit. My mom was an idiot.

I don't understand the glove thing. Well, all right. Because it looked like it kind of went. I mean, if my life depended on it and I was going to go to prison for a long fucking time, give me a glove. If I had, I could like make my hands seem a bit bigger. It doesn't go on. They were like, no, motherfucker.

Stop spreading your fingers so much and pushing the palm of your hand out, you know? If my life's, I get just, it won't go on. It won't go on. was guilty, but it was the Yankees playing against a high school baseball team. It was that type of payroll against a high school baseball team. And there was dirty shit that went on.

They fucked up. The lawyers and... The cops did dirty shit. The cops did dirty shit. So they created all this reasonable doubt. Once they raised a reasonable down the DNA, that was it. Yeah, well, I saw the show.

That's what was brilliant about it. John Travolta. Yeah, that's the one I'm watching now. It's fucking awesome. So good. The acting in that is incredible. It's tremendous. It really is.

Have you ever seen that? I didn't see it. Oh, yeah. It's on FAC. It's on Netflix. You got to check it out. It's an awesome piece of that. Awesome piece they did.

Tremendous. They really did a great job. It's incredible. It really is. And they exploited like what was going on. There was like, you know, five or six heavy duty fucking attorneys. All of them egos. Yeah.

Everybody's a fucking ego. Nobody ever knew the name of an attorney before the OJ trial. Morcia Clark fucking. I always had heard about the one guy. I knew about the one guy. Tony Cochran? No. The white guy?

Yeah, not... How good is John Chabotter in that show? He's brilliant. He's brilliant as that guy. The facial expressions and stuff? Incredible. He's brilliant as that guy. He really was.

It was a weird time, you know, like the Rodney King verdict. That's what you saw last night. Was that what got that all sparked was the Rodney King verdict. What's the Rodney King? Rodney King? You just weren't here. None of this is so funny. was a black guy who got pulled over.

I mean, I've heard the name. You know, I've heard of Rodney King. Some guy from his balcony tape, the cops just playing ping pong with his fucking head with batons. Oh, shit, yeah. And the tape got leaked. And this is before. Sounds like an average Friday night.

This is the first police video. They all lived in Seamy Valley. Right. The cops. So they all got acquitted. And downtown LA went crazy. Right. Oh, okay.

Big riots. I'll never forget I was doing comedy in the Chinese restaurant. And the guy's name was Ron. And I would torment Ron. I would tell him I was going to bring Cosby and all these big names and get money up front and go buy cocaine and shit and there was times I were going there

there was times I would just go in there let's be told me that's why I'm here yeah there was times I would bring girls in there and act like a big shabby where's Ron in give us all around the drinks pull it on my arm Cosby's coming don't worry about it put it on my tab the whole thing and that's where we watched

where they I've never forget this where they pulled the white guy out of the truck yeah and they hit him in the head with a brick on national TV. I mean, it was crazy. It was nuts. Your helicopter view. And then now, it was like we watch those nature.

We watch those nature videos where you see like a lion about to kill like a deer. You're like, somebody helped the deer and nobody does. That's what it was watching it from the helicopter. Just fucking. It's insane. You know, because I'm so much more aware of racism since I moved to this country. You are. There's no black people in England.

Well, well, yeah, there was no black people where I grew up. Well, when I watched Snatch, what about all those black people? What about all those black people? Oh, no, no, no. Down in London, there's a massive, you know, black community, Jewish community. It's a very multicultural city. And there's a very big Middle Eastern influence, you know, Indians and Pakistanis. But there was no black guys.

But where I'm from is a small town out in the country. And it's predominantly all white, you know, all white. And so we had no preconceived ideas or any judgments against somebody because they were another color. You know what I mean? For me, it didn't exist what? This had to be standing at another bar on a Saturday night. I remember like, you know, like in like the 90s, people started saying, do you see that today?

They were like what? A black guy walking through the town center, Boulder's brass, you know, because we just didn't get in it. But then like as like the world gets a smaller place, you know, more and more different cultures started coming to the town, you know. So yeah, I didn't grow up experience any of this what you're talking about. Of course in the big cities in London, Manchester, Birmingham, place like that, of course. But I'm from a small town just outside of there, you know.

know, and very, lived a very segregated lifestyle. I didn't leave there until I was older, you know? That's very interesting. You say that it's very racist here? No, I'm not saying it's very racist. That's the what I'm saying.

I'm aware that racism exists more, more since I've moved here. You know, I sense it, you hear it on the news, there's issues, you hear about it,

you know, in politics and stuff. I think it's another time because... But also, I'm getting older as well. So I'm maturing as a person, you realize, you travel the world,

And you moved here once social media started exploding, you also, that was probably around the time when you moved to, what year did you move to the States? Yeah, 2011. Yeah, dude, I mean, that's like the explosion of social media culture, right at the turn of 2010. I wasn't saying it was more racist here than race, than it is in England because it probably is.

Does racism exist in England? Yeah, 100% it does. Yeah, yeah, there's big problems in London, you know, in the cities, of course. Well, up and down the country now, as I say, is the world. White and black or white? White and black. Like, there's a lot of racial tension in England with the Muslim communities. The Muslim, you know, Pakistan is, but there's a lot of, there's a lot of tension there.

You know, there really is. I've got to put my words carefully because, you know, I don't want to offend anybody at all, you know. But yeah, there's a lot of racial tension. Michael Bisping doesn't want to offend anybody. No, no, no, no, no, no. We live in a very, you know what I mean? And I don't. you know,

Muslim, Jewish, Christian, whatever the fuck you are. I think you're all idiots for believing in that shit. Me too. I don't give a flying fuck,

you know, so, you know, as long as you're good to me, I'm good to you. Yeah, dude. You know,

it's, uh, I think it's very strange. Like, I think we put so much like, we demonize racism so much, but then we watch, we,

we, yeah, but then we watch people, like, I was at a Yankees game a couple weeks ago. I don't give a fuck about sports at all. But I went to the Yankees game.

My friend, Or a ship already had tickets. And he was like, do you want to come yet? Great, sure. And there was a guy who walked by in Oakland Day's head. Can't do that in the playoffs. Dude. Why do you keep talking about things I know nothing about?

OJ.S. Simpson. Ron Dixon, you know where he was. And now baseball. It's the same thing with British football. Ron, what? What was his name? The guy in the boot? The guy the cops were beating up.

Oh, Ron, whatever's name. I don't know. So what happened with the racist? What the fuck? No, so. And now baseball. The guy in the Oakland, has walks by and then 2,000 people waiting to get into the Yankee Stadium as this guy's walking by.

Asshole. Asshole. Your girl's a slut. She's fat. It's hilarious. I joined in. I loved it. It was the greatest.

It was so much fun. But what's the difference? He's just wearing a fucking green hat. Well, it's not really like who. It's a choice. I like that about sports, to be honest. Yeah, no, me too. I enjoy it.

Dude, if people get violent, those soccer stadiums. Oh, dude. That shit gets crazy. Oh, you have no idea. Exactly. And it's sort of weirdly the same thing. It's just a color of a shirt or a territory or where you're from. It's sort of in the same spirit.

And we celebrate that type of, you know, it's not called racism. We celebrate it. We kind of go, oh, it's funny, right? But what's really different between like some 60-year-old dude being like, ah, you know what, I'd be really upset of my daughter married a black guy? That's sort of, that's way less damaging than a fucking soccer riot. There's way less people hurt. Yeah, but there's a clip of a Red Sox fan throwing a.

pizza slice and hitting a Yankee fan in the face at Fenway Park and I watch that whenever I get set yeah yeah yeah I'm with you if it's sports and you just busting each other's balls but what if it was a Chinese guy and it was like get out of my town trying him in and throws a pizza in his face well then he's a fucking asshole what's the difference a fucking no but it was just a friendly sports thing and it's banter you know some all right maybe sometimes it crosses the lines you know a lot of the times in england 229 fuck me you know England in the 80s in the 90s with the football hooligans was you know, it wasn't a good place for the sport. But a friendly bit of bowl busting over whatever fucking team jersey you're wearing.

Yeah, come back. I don't know, no, no, no, no. Listen, let me explain something to you. I'm not talking about, I'm literally talking about busting their balls. Here it is. I don't mean. Here's a society we live in. If you go to any, like Dodger Stadium a couple of years ago,

they beat a man into a coma. Yeah. For having a giant shoot. Oh, that shit went on in England all the time. You know, during the soccer can. What they used to do? like this guy from our town they did like the famous thing

they got set down for for a while they knew the train from the Blackburn fans was coming past on the train tracks so they fucking stopped the train but cause that some like thing on the train tracks they stopped the train the train had to stop because they barricaded the tracks they ran into the train all of them

beat the fuck out of all of them badly yeah yeah yeah yeah so I'm well aware of what goes down and it was kind of the story is just kind of you know that's kind of great yeah no I guess.

You should watch the movies on Netflix, the Football Factory. It's great movie. Check it out. It's all about that. Green Street Hooligans. Football factors, it's hilarious. It's hilarious. It's all about soccer and England.

Yeah, yeah, the football factory. Check it out, man. It's great. And that's how it is. Like, I'm the type of guy. I watch a Sunday football game and you have a jersey on and your team's losing 21 and up. You deserve to get beat up.

They're wearing a jersey. That's a school of thought. sitting there like an asshole your team's dying 31-0-0 in my world you deserve a beating for wearing that shirt you're 31 years old go get a life go eat somebody's asshole you're sitting there with a jersey on I don't have a fucking jersey in my eyes I'll tell what else pissing me over this he fat people with football jerseys it drives me up a fucking wall like a 400 pound dude with a football jersey drives me fucking crazy what's what's like you you're disrespecting the football jersey you fat fuck you know what I'm saying

I get off the plane the other day and there's a guy 500 pounds that's a dodger shirt on take it off if I'm a dodger I tell him here's the 50 bucks take it off you're too big you can't be disrespected whatever but that's the shit I hate about sports I went to a giant

Philly football game at giant state no I'm lying to you Philly Jet football game at giant stadium in 93 and some guy walked down with a Miami me Dolphins jacket. And a guy like Michael Bisbing went up to him

politely and said, excuse me, do us a favor so we get all for you at home. Can you take the jacket off? And again, we're all have egos. The guy goes, fuck you, man. The guy said, okay, have a nice day. And he turned around, he went, and all of a side,

thing started getting thrown at this guy. I mean, they were throwing everything. First, it started with, like, pretzels, and chips, soft things. And then it just shoes. Just progressively harder. And the people around them. And then you know what the dude does?

He gets up and turns around and goes, fuck you now. They're just throwing shit at him. I mean, everything. And he's like, keep it up. Fuck you. We're going to win. You know, with a dolphin jacket on. You're at a jet Philly game.

We're in Teal. In Jersey. They're looking for that shit. Those guys in Jersey trained for that shit. all week throwing glass with after he got hit so much security had to come with like a shield and then getting shit thrown at him as he's walking out i mean it was classic that's great the guy was drenched and shit and is that necessary a giant stadium or philly stadium's not bad though that's just a bit of throwing some shit at them and making fun of them i'm actually think that's

pretty tame you know i mean well the thing that bothers me is when people change Like you're supposed to like where you're from or at best maybe your parents are from there. I'll allow that. But people who just move and change like what would happen? Like you can never change football teams or if you don't like football. Like what is that like in the UK? Can you can't just change teams? I mean, I was never the biggest sports guy.

So I'm not the best guy to even talk about this stuff. He changed cultures. He's a sellout. He's a fucking Californian now. I get shit for the way I talk every day. I've never felt myself have been so self-conscious about my accent as to what I am in this room. Really? But these fucking axes going.

Every time I speak is I got the headphones. on yeah i hear mary poppins fucking chatting away in the corner but still even saying that to americans sorry to english part of me they're like what's with the fucking american accent mike why why are you talking like that because i want to be understood that's why you talk american if you wanted to no real i mean i can't you know if i'm acting or whatever you can do a little bit get yeah yeah yeah i'm not gonna be judged let's hear texas all right man no it's crazy how That's your only line in the whole movie? It's crazy.

I'm a guy from Batman. Say again. The guy that played Batman. Christian Bail? Christian Bale. He's fucking incredible. Can you not add somebody's syllables? Christian?

That when they did a... Christian. My friend did the fighter with him. He says, I didn't even know he was English until the premiere. Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah. For me, I didn't know he was English.

He kept his fucking accent. And, you know, Jack's Teller. You know, he's... I don't know Jack's Teller. He's the guy from Sons of Anarchy. Oh, shit. No, of course. Yeah, I had no idea until recently.

He did some other movie. The robot movie. The robot movie. What's the robot? With the big robot? No, it was the one about, uh, they read, Madonna's husband was the director. Not a bad movie.

Guy Richie, yeah, yeah, yeah. I never saw the movie, but I got to me a woman. But I saw him on a talk show because he was promoting the movie. And I was like, oh, this motherfucker's English. I had no, that's how good. I had no idea. He fucks up a little bit and sons of anarchy. Right.

Okay. I've never watched Sons of Anarchy. He fucks up a little bit. I don't get the hype guy. Guys, it's good show. I've tried watching it. I'm two episodes in. I'm like, turn it off.

No, it's not an academy of Woodwinner, but you watch it for the writing. Yeah. The guy does it great. He weaves it. I felt the same way about the wire, which apparently by all accounts is fantastic. You know, like the wire?

I haven't got past two or three episodes. I'm with you, bro. I go into it wanting to like it with an open mind. Yeah. I love Idisselba. I hear it's amazing. The best TV you've ever seen. And he's British, by the way,

Ur-Jer Selba. I know. The language. is so thick like the cop talk it's hard to follow I think half the problem is I'm watching it with my wife and she's like oh Michael this is terrible why are we watching this you know because why it's racist

but I haven't got past yeah oh Michael black people are those Australian races they're hardcore um yeah I can't get past the first call I gotta go back and try it again because I see the way Joey's looking it was like he's upset right now he said you don't like the wire I thought the wire was a good show it just wasn't one of my favorites yeah way overrated I think it was

What's your favorite show ever, Joey? Favorite television show of all time. That's a tough one. I already know my answer. Okay, go ahead. What's yours? Game of fucking Thrones. Yeah, well, I was going to say that's one of mine.

I think it's the best. I think it's the best when you consider all things considered the violence, the fucking. Game of Thrones. Sopranos, Breaking Bad, top three. My shows are the honeymooners is number one. Number two is the Sopranos. Number three is, I don't even know.

Fucking Game of Thrones is so epic. I'm waiting for it to be over because I haven't started it yet. What? Well, you're a fucking idiot. If I tell you something, you're not going to believe this. Please. I love everything from England. I love the music, you know, everything I listen to, you know, the whole movement, the Beatles, the whole fucking deal.

I cannot watch a whole movie with an English accent. I'm too old and my hearing can't break it. Can't take it. especially when they talk too fast. Like snatch, I could tolerate. You know, because they keep saying bloody cunt and I like that. I like how they use the word bloody cuck. Every time you think you're out, they draw you back.

Oh, my God. Let me tell you this. Then you're missing some great movies, Joey. I've heard. My wife watches and I sit and watch 15 minutes here. Go on watch. Here's one I think you're like. Sexy Beast.

Oh, I've seen that. Yeah. No, I've watched. No, no, no. I'm a professional. Yeah, yeah. Let's get something straight. I'm a motherfucking professional.

If something, it's just, there's a lot of movies. Sure. There's a lot of things in Spanish I can't tolerate. Like the other day I put the fucking whatever on, the Ozarks on, on the plane. I love the Ozarks. And I had hit the wrong button. So it was in Spanish.

So I'm like, why are they talking so much fucking Spanish for? So I erased both episodes. The cartel plays a big part of these episodes. So then I erased both episodes. And I go, let me see if Tyson, I put the movie. movie Tyson on because I downloaded that and that's in Spanish and I go what the fuck is going out with my fucking iPad and I figured out where to get the Spanish over then I felt bad because I deleted the Ozarks yeah because I watch all those fucking Spanish shows on uh and Netflix

I watch you know narcos and then there's one that's hota hota that was Pablo Escobar's number one killer I'm a bad Puerto Rican I'm just like oh speak English already Jesus no I like Do you speak Spanish, Louis? I can't believe I've never asked you this. Like seven things. Yeah. That's it. Me too.

I mean, I'm so bad. I miss speaking Spanish. So I watched that and I live through it. Like I liked when I was a kid going to the Bronx after my mother died and eating Puerto Rican food because for one hour I would get to talk Spanish. You know, when you were dealing with Puerto Ricans, when you first meet them, you have to ask them for their blessing if they're older than you are. I always thought that was a beautiful thing

when I was growing up where if I saw even though Michael Bisman is the UFC champion in the world if he sees me and I have white hair he's got to go Rendiz young and I'll go

Yel de Rendea means God bless you I learned that from the poor so I would just go up there's nice that's good I would go up there just I like that respect and I wish there was more

old school values like that around these days because the world's going fucking topsy turvy man I always believe that so I would go up there just to get that type of Spanish he respect. When I put my daughter in this preschool

at first, I went to a bunch of preschools. I put her in a school who had two Spanish when I'm working because I don't take no shit. You were talking about your girl from before. I dated one Spanish girl in high school and I'm Spanish. And after that I knew they were not for me. It's not a good mix. It's hard. It's tough too. I think the Catholic church have a similar thing, don't they? Are you Catholic? With the altar boys and the priests. You got to ask me for my respect, okay?

Just one time, come on, let's go. A buddy of Christ. Yeah, take the buddy of Christ, let's go. If you watch like Rocky, when he goes to the priest and he asks him for a blessing, that's what it is. It's great. In American tradition, some Italians will always say, like, some better need you.

And you have to say something back from it. That means God bless you, you know, if he's a little older than you or whatever. I don't know what the fucking topic was. I don't know what the fucking. But are you Catholic? Were you raised Catholic? I was raised as a conflict.

Yeah. Is there a big Catholic population? Oh, massive. Yeah, massive. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. More Protestants, Church of England. But yeah, yeah, big Catholic population.

My mom's Irish. Like, full-on Irish. Not like, you know, Americans say they're Irish. My mom was born in Ireland. Dad was a preacher, about 15 brothers and sisters. So a Catholic family. And then my dad was in the army serving in Northern Ireland when the war was on. I met my mom.

So that was a whole scandal to do. So, yeah. So, yeah, so we're Catholic. that's pretty fucking interesting yeah yeah and is that do they have the same pedophilia problem we have over here with those yeah well i mean i've never experienced it thank god but uh yeah yeah i'm pretty sure it's worldwide yeah i don't think it's a it's not an american thing it's just you know it's a catholic church but as i say i'm i'm not a religious

person so yeah you get in trouble all the time for like not shitting on religion you just like you know what it's because people care about religion it's fucked up because the reality is 99.9% of the time they're really good people. And if they're trying to live their lives as, you know, by the, the tenets of their religion, they're probably doing, you know, good for themselves and their family. But, and when you shit on that, if, it, let me tell you this, here in America, you guys, I say you guys, I mean, you Americans, pardon me, and people of America's, and I don't mean that in an insulting way, are obsessed with religion. In England, I was talking about this last night. To my wife, we let him bed, just having a chat. And I'm

I'm like, no. And I said this to a producer at Fox recently, and she didn't believe me. She's like, oh, no, that's just your friends. I don't know a single person in England that goes to church. Not a single fucking person. Nobody goes to church. Nobody talks about church. Only time they go to church is to get married, a christening or a funeral.

And that's it. No one goes to church. Maybe that's why they're all closing down. Maybe there's some really old ladies or whatever. It has to be a dying. My wife still goes to church religiously every Sunday. Yeah, a lot of people do here in the States. They go to a different church.

I'm Catholic, so I stick to my roots. If the kid sings in the choir, I'll put a suit on and go down there for the day. But besides others, I step the fuck. I respect that. Are you actually, do you believe in God? I believe in something. If you live the life I live, you got to believe in something.

Something's out there, something more powerful than me. I debate it. I don't know. I don't know. No, everybody has their own. I don't, I don't, but I do debate it from time to time. Yeah, everybody has their own thing. I'm sure, and this is what I always say, I'm sure it's a great feeling and I wish,

I wish there was a higher power out there. And I wish that if I got on my fucking knees and prayed hard enough that good things would happen, but I don't. I wish I did, you know, but for the most part, I keep those views to myself and I respect everyone's religions and that's great and more power to you respect. But don't try and convert me. But as a, here's thing, right, we both have done sales in our life and there's some way, I think we connected with like early when I met you with somebody talked about that was like

I almost feel like that's the same thing right like if you believe that God is on your fucking side and you really believe that right and you truly believe it that's like the placebo effect is a real thing well it's just it's assuming the sale it's assuming the sale it you're going if you really believe that it's going to happen it's more than likely it's going to happen I really believe that with almost everything in life absolutely you're going to carry yourself a certain way if you believe it's already happening, believe you're going to get there. Carry yourself like Conner McGregor right now.

He's out there carrying himself like he didn't lose at the weekend. And guess what? Everyone's going to buy that shit up. He's acting like a winner. He's running out on the fucking Dallas Cowboys Field, throwing footballs around proper 12 whiskey. Everyone's like, Bha!

A fucking couple of weeks from now, no one remembers. You carry yourself in that way. Yeah. And if you're religious and something good happens, you think that's fucking God. Yeah. There's no difference.

It's just whatever you put your sort of faith into. I would raise Catholic. Cuban Catholic. Cubans are very strong Irish Catholic like the Irish. In 1614, the Battle of the Boyne, the Irish that didn't want to fight. In fact, I went to Cuba

because it was the only other Catholic. Can I tell you something? Not for nothing. I got 26% reefer over there. Why are you smoking that garbage in my office? I got 26% refro over there. It'll kill a meal. And you're smoking that 2% fucking vapor

with cat fucking killer. To tomorrow morning you wake up, you can't see. There's some good shit. Joey they know good shit not like what I'm grown over there that's a shit that killed John McCain and you're smoking that all right let me get some shit to kill John McCain I would love it it's called Ghost OG yeah

this sounds like the part where I've got to say oh shit I just got a phone call I gotta take you know because I'm a weak motherfucker I don't Bissing take a bong hit of ghost O.G Leave Michael Bisbee alone the fact is called Ghost OG yeah no means I'm good yeah you're hitting that vapor don't do nothing for you what am I do no I don't know if he wants to

No, I mean, there's a bomb there And there's a gentleman And there's a container You're talking about things that might kill you That bung looks like That's the one I knew you wanted the bomb But I didn't want to touch it

Get the Clint Because it looks That looks like it can kill you I gotta tell you something Okay, I was raised Catholic Me too Then my mother died at 16 And I told God to suck my dick

Because a God would not take a parent From a child But then I went to the university I lived in Boulder And when I went to Boulder He used to hang out at this place called the Roper Institute and it's a Buddhist college it's an accredited Buddhist college where kids who have a lot of money in major in philosophy they go

there so they can talk make believe they're smart or whatever I think a couple classes there but then I learned about something Michael Bisman go on that was more powerful than any Bible could teach me I learned about karma absolutely the things I did would always come back to me and for an example like when I kidnapped the dude. I made 18,500 dollars. You know how much my attorney bill was? 18,000 dollars. So for three years of my life, I made $500. Wow. You know, I've had different situations like that, where karma has come back and bitten me in the ass. So maybe I don't believe in God or whatever. I do believe there's something out there. I do believe that, you know, I lost a child. I lost

the child when I was dirty. I took a choice and do comedy, and my wife doesn't let me talk to like, kid no more. So all of a sudden I stopped doing blow. I get my life together. I stopped robbing people and somebody some Hindu God or whatever knocks my wife up. Who smokes more weed than me? How can I even have sperm cells? How can I even have sperm cells? Harvard

says if you smoke dope, you get no sperm cells. I never knock somebody up. I fuck 50 banghors and shot loads on everybody. I didn't give a fuck. When I was out there, sling a dick, I shot loads and everybody just on principle. And I never, because I never knocked. No, I never knocked. Yeah, I never knocked nobody up.

And all of a sudden, I knocked this poor woman up when I'm 50 fucking years old. So I've gotten signs, Michael Bisney. I don't know who it is or what it is. I don't know if he's Chinese. I don't know if it's Charles Bronson. I don't know who the fuck it is. But this, if me and my world, do I go to church on Sunday? Do you know Stephen Fry's?

Fuck, no. If I send you something, Lee, can you play it? Yeah. I've got a link here. No, no, no. I can take him down from YouTube. They'll take it down from YouTube. Oh shit.

Yeah, well, basically this guy, Stephen Frye, he used to be a comedian. He's a very, very smart guy, English guy. And on the video, he's sitting with a priest. And it's, I don't know, a big deal, priest or whatever, and probably getting some things wrong. And he's a hard atheist, Stephen Fry. He's very well known for it.

Kind of like Ricky Javez. Same shit. And he said, if you died and went to heaven and you were confronted by God, what would you say to him then? And he said, brain cancer and children, really? And he went through all these things.

And he said, there's an insect out there that sole purpose in life is to bury only into the children, into babies' eyeballs. That's only babies. They're sole purpose in life when they're born in some weird fucking country somewhere. Their sole purpose is to find babies and burrow and go into the eyes and kill them. Why would you make that? You know, it's a fascinating video. And he puts this priest. doesn't know how's a fucking answer.

Doesn't know what to say. But if you Google for anyone listening, Stephen, Stephen Faye explains what he would say if he confronted God. Check it out. It's great. But that's not why I don't believe in God.

I'm just saying, but it's really good. I don't know if God's sitting up there has got angels around him. I can't tell you that. I just know for some reason, just for situations that I've been involved, that there's something out there.

Something. I don't know who, what, what, how I have no fucking idea. Yeah, I I have no idea. It's weird. I have a hard time I have a hard time

believing it's anything spiritual. I believe there's something out there on a physical level. I believe that in other universes we have really powerful fucking aliens that are like able to do crazy shit that we're nowhere near like and maybe one day we'll be able to do it.

You mean advanced civilized advanced way yeah I mean we're the only millions and millions and millions of light years away, millions of galaxies away. It has to be. 100%. You've seen the size of the universe? Unless they're out of the mind, there has to be. There must be. Because we live in the sweet spot. That's what they call it, right? Not too close,

not too far away from the sun, where it's just warm enough or not cold enough for life to evolve. And all those fucking, there's literally, I don't know how they know this stuff, but there's some mathematicians or whatever works out. I think it's Reddit slash space. There's millions of millions, if not billions of planets that are in the sweet spot of their son. So, you know, it's just down to

when you put it like that, of course there's a little life out there. So I believe there's like, there's like, I believe that there's like, I just, I believe when you die that's the end of the life cycle. Me too. I just believe it's like. But it's weird because I haven't lost too many people. I'm lucky, but

people have started to die in my life. But as of right now, I haven't experienced too much death. I haven't. But my dog died. And I know this sounds insulting to anybody that lost somebody dear, but my dog died last. year you know and it's weird oh god it affects him to this day it fucking died when i was filming a movie i was in between takes and i get a phone call from my wife i'm i've got to give the okay to put my dog down i went back to fucking set to do the next scene and i'm supposed to be a badass that's

just blown a fucking village up dude if it would have been a scene where you had a cry my lips trim oh i would have got an Oscar dude it's over anyway so the point what i'm saying is though i don't believe in god and this and that but i tell you what i was sat in the back of the car having a beer with a little tear streaming down my face and thinking to myself, if you're up there, if you are up there, if your soul is up there, this one's for you, buddy, you know? And it's weird that your mind goes to that space

to look for some kind of comfort, you know, because we're told from an early age when we're born that it is there. Maybe I'm the, you don't want for doubting that. So maybe just in case I'm wrong, what's up, buddy? Take care of my dog. Yeah. I know you guys, you flew in tonight,

and I know you live in town, you live a little far away, so I don't want to keep you guys unless you might open up that door a little bit with Joey. No, we're good. But for the last week, people have been asking me for a recap of the UFC, and since I'm not a fighter, and so many people did recaps of 229, I didn't do one, but now, since you guys are here, and Michael's a professional, ex-champion,

and he said something that was very interesting. He got beat up a week ago. You know, the biggest, one of the things that I listened to Khabib said was he was going to humble him. You know? And I've been humbled in my life. When you have handcuffs on and the judge says four years, boy, do you get humble like a motherfucker? You know, when somebody puts a gun to your head, you get humbled.

There's so many times, you know, let's break down 229 what you saw, what I saw, but Lewis saw. Louis J. I don't want to get fucking, you know. Joe, you're the only person, I swear to God, I've never corrected you and I would never. There's something bad? What's the Jay Stan for? There is. You're right.

He has a present. There's something about Joey that anybody else in the world I would fucking correct, but not Joey Diaz. I mean, what do you want me to do? You want me to break down the fight? No, I just...

Yeah, everyone's heard that a million times. For me, it was... I knew Tony Ferguson was going to win. I just had a funny feeling he wasn't coming back. I love Sergio. I love Duke Rufus. Nothing against him.

I just, he thought he was a bit too much for Sergio. And I like that as a lock. Lee knows. don't bet. The last time I bet was McGregor Diaz won because he flinched at the way in. Who you bet on? I bet on Diaz. Oh, you did?

Yeah, because McGregor flinched at the way in. And he didn't move. And he didn't move. And the second one, I didn't bet. Someone did that to me recently, but well, you got balls of steel. He came up to the side. I said, no, I don't see you out of the side. I didn't actually see you. But he's like, this guy's fucking psycho man. He didn't move.

I'm like, oh, hey, what's up? So this is one of those fights I wanted to watch as a fan. I wanted to watch this fight as a fan. But when I found out that Khabib was a favorite, Connor was an underdog, it made me very curious. Because I come from a sports gambling background, and I know how to read lines. I've been burnt too much by lines.

Once you get burnt by lines, you know how to read it. And that line told me, wait a second. So Connor's going to knock this guy out just like that, and America's going to win money on Connor McGregor. Regers don't work like that. So that was the first hint of a rap. But then I discovered that there was an over and under. And that's a complete different game

because people would have just bet the under and gone to sleep. You could have bet Tony Ferguson and gone to sleep and not watch the fight and called a bookie to pay you the next day. That's how confident I felt about Ferguson. I didn't feel that confident about McGregor. But I thought McGregor could pull something out of that. but then he said two things the number one he showed up

with the whiskey and number two he said something very interesting and I caught these words he says if you haven't seen the videos they're on McGregor production company videos nobody takes the time to say that all those things they take time out of your fucking day

all those things take time out of your day then I waited for the way in I saw the New York City thing and between you guys it was the residual or something he was just talking just I don't even know what was coming on

when he pulled out the vodka bottle it was something that you know they said that John Jones tested for cocaine before a fight I'm waiting for a test result to come back because he was acting very cocaineish at the New York press conference and then at the way in

when he went to push his hand and he saw that I And Drago's hand didn't move. Once, 50 people were around him. He got tough and he threw that little half-of-fax cycle. That was the worst kick I ever seen in my life, when him 10 feet away. The kid didn't react to him.

The kid was mentally prepared. The kid didn't even understand what the fuck he was saying half the time. That's what he had his defense. He did not even know. And whenever he would open up his mouth, he doesn't know enough English to protect himself. Not to that extent, you know. So all those things factored in.

I wouldn't tell him because he's the kiss of death. I wanted to see what he liked. Because if he likes somebody, you're dead. They'll lose automatically. Who do you like in the fight? Well, I honestly didn't know. I've seen a couple of both of their fights. I gave the locks and he bicked an invictor chick after I told him.

This is how bad he is. Go ahead. I gave the fucking lock. I've been on Kabat. I also thought Tanya Avenger would go over one and a half. You found that out that don't fucking happen. But it was, all those things came into effect. So I reached out to a friend of mine who was taking some action, and I just blasted him.

Yeah, oh, really? And I got the over from, I just blasted. And I thought about it and thought about it. I go, you never seen a buggy with a part-time job. Yeah. It's just not going to work out. You know, it's not going to work out. So what was your bet?

I had the over at three rounds, not two and a half, most people had it. I had it at three rounds and Khabib. So Kibib wins after three. Yeah, and Khabib wins after three. You put a lot of money down? So Kibb, yeah, Khabib and the over. How much to pretend, Jerry? A nickel on each.

Just to just to... $500? Yeah, just to take a chance. I don't bet. I don't do nothing with my life. And you did a parlay? No, I bet them straight. Parlay is a suckers' bets.

Really? Yeah, I was doing a parlay. I would do a safe parlay. That's what every time... That's a safe parley, but he couldn't have been a safe parley. There's no such thing as a... Greg, I'm going to take him down in the first round. I thought there was a chance.

I thought Kareeb would stretch him out, but I also thought there was a chance to take him down in the first round ending it. I thought Kibb was going to beat him in a decision. That was like, if you would have put gun to my head, what's going to happen in that fight? I would have said Kabeeb with a decision. But, you know, once again, Conner...

Kav was always going to win that fight. Yeah, but he's a once-in-a-lifetime type of fighter, Connor. Like, he does create those moments. So it wouldn't have been crazy. If we woke up the next day, And Connor knocked him out in fucking 32 seconds. No, it wouldn't have been crazy. It wouldn't have been.

It was always going to win that fight. 100%. Even though I picked Connor to win on the Fox Sports thing, I don't know. Long story as to why I did that. But a guy like that, a striker against a wrestler, a wrestler of Khabib's level, unfortunately, I hate to say, because my background's a striker, but a wrestler of that level will always be a striker. And the reason why Kabeeb dropped him in the second round

and started getting the better of him on the feet is because and I've been there myself you're so fucking concerned with the wrestling okay you're like if I throw a punch they're gonna come underneath they're gonna come in and grab my legs

and you're like do I do I throw a punch and you start getting super timid and tentative and then all of a sudden you're waiting for a takedown boom you get fucking blasted in the face because you're thinking about the takedown and you're waiting for it and you're waiting for it and then you get punched in the face you know and that's what happened

on Saturday night that's why he got dropped in the third round that's why a rematch would probably go the same way because now not only did he have the physical and skill set advantages he's also now got the win against him already and he's got the psychological advantage so yeah that fight was always going to go down that way in my humble opinion

for some people for some reason people think I don't like Connor I like Connor I think Connor's a great competitor I think he's a great fighter he's taking down some great names but I also knew there was holes in this game fair enough that's a fair way of putting it I'm a fat fuck but I did everything growing up. I did everything growing up. Everything. Five years ago, I walked into a

Jiu-Jitsu studio and they made me do a hip escape. I thought I was going to have a harder time. And I walked out at studio and I go, I'll never go to Jiu-Jitsu training ever again. And then two blocks away, I said, why not? Am I fucking a pool? What's the problem? It's just, and I would have anxiety on my back and I kept going back. But something happened along the way. I acquired the respect for how long it takes to be a black belt in Jiu-jitsu. It takes a long fucking time. You got to do a lot of things. So when Diaz fought kind of the first time,

that's what I kept thinking about. How hard it is to be a black belt, especially in that school where he's at. Well, they're animals. There's animals. He's up there with Melendez and Jake Shields and his brother and him. That's why I took him the first time. The second time I wasn't in Vegas, so I didn't bet it.

Yeah. You know, this time I just saw, I saw a lot of holes in this game. I saw holes in this game when he fought the boxer. When he fought the boxer, right there. I said every trainer in MMA should be bit slapped because he nullified his left. All that shit they talk about his left.

He nullified it. Boxing is a science. No, absolutely. And I think that he carried him for 10 rounds between you and I. He was running out of cardio in the third fucking... But that's what they said. That's what they said. And again,

a lot of people have the popular opinion that I don't like Connor and we have the same manager and we used to be kind of Pally these days we don't talk but whatever we had a stupid fucking fall and now you know I'm a growing up things change and people get money but I don't care no who gives a fuck we move on a lot of people says oh you're jealous of him you're jealous of him it's like hold let me just say this right now there's done a single fucking man on this planet that I'm jealous of very happy being me you know I don't I know it yeah no I'm not saying I out of issues and stuff, but I've never in my life looked at one person and thought, oh God, I wish I was him.

I wish I was him. Connor's a very, very, very good fighter, but you said something before that kind of got my attention and it made me think. I mean, you know, as fighters, and Connor comes from, you know, he wasn't born with a silver spoon in his mouth from what I know, comes from a tough area of Dublin, right? And that's who he is. He's a fighter, so he fights and he talks shit because he's from that neck of the woods and he's that type of person.

I'm very much the same way. When you get some success, it changes everything like Evander Hollafield said it's hard to get up and run at 5 a.m. when you're sleeping in silk sheets, right? Things do change. But now with the whiskey, right, that's an even bigger play. Because, you know, as a fighter, he'll always be remembered. He's definitely a legendary, one of the great, you know, what he did,

and he set the world on fire, took mixed martial out to a new level. But that whiskey shit, if he can get that popping properly, five generations from now, they'll be talking about the McGregor brand of whiskey, the proper 12. I heard the whiskey's horrific. I heard it's horrific. I've heard it's horrific.

He sold more bottles this last weekend. He already made his investment in the answer. But he's not going to get him for another bottle. But he also, the whiskey's terrible. I don't know anything about whiskey. Me neither. I heard it's,

I heard from like three weeks. I heard it's terrible as well. I wasn't going to say that. But even still, but if I can take off because of for whatever reason, then that's a legacy and, And, you know, a level of money that fighting would never bring. You know what I'm saying?

So, of course, now, I don't know how much money you got. It's very tough to be a champion. It's very, yeah. It's very tough. Yeah, all the fucking lasers around you. Felt it myself. Now, I told you in the beginning of comedy and fighting, it's an art. So it turns into the same.

When you're Amy Schumer, when you're Lewis CK, when you're all those type of comics, you always have a target on your back. Who did you steal from? Who did you steal from? Why did you steal from? from you sold a joke in 1992 everything comes out you know and the same thing comes out in fighting it's no fucking different you know for sure it's no fucking difference so when roddened up started getting busy and she got knocked out and after the fight she was sitting there you're thinking about

all the time that you fucked around that you know that's why i loved when connor said i'm not doing any press it's like us it's comics so i got a fly in it fucking the night before and then you want me to get up at 3 in the morning California time to go into a radio and tell jokes do that three days in a row in the old days you got a radio at a podcast that has way no no no no no no this is way before the podcast before I think about when you went into a time you got to get up three days in a row at six o'clock yeah even though you snorted blow the night before even though you ate at the waitress ass call whatever you did the night before they picked you up at six and you did radio till 12 went back to the hotel and then went back at 3.30 that

shit takes away from your stand-up family. No, for sure it does. And just like the success in the fighting and everybody wanted to go on this TV show, this talk show, meeting, sponsors, appearances, signings, checks, checks, money. When you come from a background where you have to fight, it's hard to say no to that shit,

which actually Conner did a very good job of doing so, certainly in this training camp. But when I was the champ and I was training to fight Dan Henderson, I was in England filming a movie at the same time. I'm flying to Montenegro doing other shit the weekends while still training for a fight and I did still do it. I trained very hard, but that's not ideal. The fucking, you know, that's different because he was an older guy as well.

Do you know what I mean? But if it was a young fucking up on comer, they'd be laughing thinking, you know, they'd be at the gym at 6 a end, they'd be running and be doing all this. I'm getting my training in, but in between filming a movie and doing other shit, you know, but it's the opportunities that come to you as a champion, they're hard to turn down. And for me, I was towards the end of my career. So I was kind of thinking, well, I'm going to do all this stuff to set myself up. so I can walk away.

And also didn't sort of the media responsibilities that had to have set you up for what you're doing now, which with the podcasting, we did a radio show for years, all the UFC Tonight shit, you know, you did so much media, I'm sure the first time you did an interview

with a microphone in front of your face, I would love to go back and say it. I remember it was cage, I think it was my third ever MMA fight, and you know, they do a little bit of promo, and you stick a camera in your face, and I'm like,

and as I said, a little town that I talked about, I still had it really, I didn't left there. I'd never been to London, you know what I mean? I was like, I was a small town boy. And yet they took a camera, you know, I'm fucking, it was my third fight. You know, I didn't give a fault. But Babelieu was supposed to fight their champion.

And Babelieu got injured and wasn't fighting. They're like, fuck, the champion needs someone. See, they brought me in as cannon fodder just to get beat up. And I went down and I had no idea how big it was. I'd only fought into like two small sports halls. The next minute, I'm in London at Wembley Arena, which is like kind of a legendary play. Jesus.

And that's your third fight? Yeah, yeah. Jesus. And, and. That's pretty crazy, dude. Yeah, yeah. No, well, I fucked up the other two guys pretty, well, in 30 seconds. And they're like, people were talking, you know, and they're like, well, bring that

northern her in, bring him down here. We'll fuck him up. And they took a camera in my face. And I'm like, uh, Frazz. And they're like, what do you want to say? You want to send him a message? And it was like, the worst delivery and worst line ever. I'm like, well, I just want to say, good luck, because you're going to need it.

The worst line, the most cliched line ever said. I just want to say, good luck. Shoot. Because you're going to need it. Like all gay. Now, how many amateur fights did you have before the USC came on? So in England, the answer to that is none. But what I did is, so I started martial arts at 8 and I was obsessed with it.

And I used to, I started doing Japanese. Jiu-Jitsu, which is, you know, they do everything in Japanese Jiu-Jitsu. All martial arts took something away from Japanese Jiu-Jitsu and amplified it and made it better. So we did everything. We did grappling, striking, takedowns, breakfalls, fucking weapons, numbshooks, swords, you name it. We did everything.

And that's what Japanese Jiu-Zitsu is. It's a fascinating martial art. And we started doing this competition called Knockdown Sport Budo, which my trainer, my sense, should I say, organized. And that was MMA. But that term MMA didn't. exist but it was bare no no gloves punches kicks takedowns everything submissions and they were like international tournaments and you know i was fighting grown men at 15 years old from fucking

sweden or whatever in these tournaments and knocked down sport boudo and you know i'd win them all and i never lost a martial art tournament in my life as a kid you know so i but then as i say got out of it and started you know being an asshole and hanging out and partying yeah dude the fucking turdampbell's call you got to you know yeah But I was bored of it. And I was, I was 16. I was like, fuck this, you know, bowing to somebody and all that shit.

I started partying and doing all that stuff. And then, you know, then I wanted to make some money from my family. I knew I could fight. Never, you know, they had a lot of success in martial arts. And I was a bit of a toll rag when I was a kid. I was, you know, I was always getting into fights. So I knew I could fight. And then someone told me there was money to be made in the UFC.

So I was like, well, let's give this a shot then. And as I said, long story. Third fight. There I was down at Wembley Arena. won that. That was the cage rage title. And then I had seven more fights in quick succession. So I was 10 and 0.

And then there was auditions for the UFC in London. So for the ultimate fighter. Yeah. So I went down to that. Unfortunately, I sound like such a bragging bastard here. But fortunately, everyone else that was auditioning at light heavyweight,

I'd knocked out in the first round. So it wasn't really much of an audition process. Do you know what I mean? I'm like, really? These guys? Come on. So, yeah. How many fights did you have in the UFC?

29 or 29? Jesus. Yeah, 29. Is it still the most or now? I think Jim Miller just got the most wins. I think he's got 30 now. But I still got the most. No, no, no, he got the most fights.

Yeah. But I've still got the most wins. Who's on your heels? No, no, me and GSB are tied for the most wins. Oh, yeah. Is it 29 wins? No, no, I wish it was 29 wins. I don't know what it was, like 22 or something like.

I'm not sure. Honestly, I don't know. I don't follow my record, you know. I'm not sure. What was the toughest fight you ever had? Toughest fight. Believe it or not, not a big name.

Matt Hamill, deaf guy and all that fired. So we were on the same season. And like for me, when I was younger, fighting was everything. That's all I had. You know, my family had no money.

I had nothing. I was bullied all the time for being poor and shit like that because we grew up in kind of a nice neighborhood. And I hated it. So all I had, was the fact that could beat anyone else up and that's what fueled me in life you know and I'd seen a lot of violence so when I went on the ultimate fighter fucking this guy was my main competition

by far he was great his wrestling was ridiculous we're not wrestling in England if he just touched you you go flying through the air his wrestling was that good so because I was such a competitor you know we were butting heads all the time we didn't get along now you know I wish him the best I'm sure he's a great guy anyway we didn't fight on the show we got injured I ended up winning the whole thing. I'd had a few fights in the UFC. It was UFC 75 at the O2 arena and like a typical cocky bastard. I remember walking out waving at everybody, waving at my mom, me old smiles thinking I'm going to wipe the floor with this guy. Fight starts. We go out there, I don't know, a minute into it. He's got me in a headlock here and just doof, doof, dove repeatedly like you

would to your little brother, right? Blood pouring out my fucking nose everyone. I'm thinking this is not going to plan. And he beat the fucking living day. Like, out of me. Now, next couple of rounds, I did just enough to make it a competitive fight. I ended up getting the decision. A lot of people were pissed off, pissed about the decision. It was a super close fight, you know? But yeah, probably

Matt Hamill, which isn't like one of the superstar names you want to hear, you know, and people want to hear like Anderson Silver or whatever. That was a tough one. He's the guy that got the squad. He got, he got... Yeah, he's got the win on John Jones. The other guys ever be John Jones. Which is ridiculous. That should be a no contest,

but whatever, yeah. No, I think we should give Matt a fucking special trophy. He's got like an MMA school somewhere now. It's a picture of him like he's the guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, he's got it zoomed in on his shir-dog record. And that is like in like a big photo. And a big lump on his head.

Yeah. He's also deaf. Like he was amazing. He was great, but he, he, uh, he couldn't hear. It was, he was very deaf. Yeah, he was very deaf. He's very fucking deaf. Because we'd be on the ultimate fire and we're on the same team.

And we'd be training. And this was like why we wouldn't get along, because we'd be training and shit, and we'd be sparring him. End of the round, so we'd stop, and I'd stop. Bang, and he fucking ended, carry on, punching me in the face. I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? What are you doing?

And he had an interpreter there, giving him fucking signs and everything. And not to mention the fact that they say, when you're deaf, you got a heightened sense of your surroundings. So I would think that when everybody in the room stopped fighting, he'd realized that, oh, stopped but he'd still get a couple of sucker punches in on me you know what i mean he's what the fuck man and he's like no no no no he's dead he's like oh so he didn't realize

and i'm like fuck this you fucking knew you fucking knew you cheap shot him motherfucker and his interpreter was just trashing you he was like yeah what a bitch i'm like you're gonna get it outside you're gonna fucking get it i'm gonna break your fingers you're never going to interpret it another thing in your life and you look good man and you look good you're sharp you're uh doing that what is it clsh uphounding the table yeah yeah yeah except being fun funny bitch you're uh you know there's people that are still fighting that when you hear them talk you could tell that they're gonna have a long word yeah a couple of years from it's a shame i don't see that with you no no for sure you know sometimes when i'm doing my podcast no i feel very

sharp when i do the podcast sometimes i kind of listen and i think fuck am i slurring my words because i don't feel like i my thinking isn't slurred my thinking i think way too fast i'm five steps ahead of my mouse able to carry me. I talk too fast all the time. You're the guy that busted to Holloway, right, Holloway. Yes. On the interview. How did you know he was concussed?

I didn't know if he was concussed. We were doing an interview. We come up on the big screen and he's on there and he's like, and he was like, and prior to like the studio making our sound, you know, go through to him, I was whispering to Kenya saying, fuck man. He just looked good. You know Max is a great guy. I know Max is a great guy.

He's the best, awesome guy. And so we start and I'm like, and you know, we have cards in front of us of what questions we've got to say that we've arranged in the production meeting beforehand. But I'm like, I can't go off this shit. I've got to ask him. I said, yo, Max, you're feeling good? I can't remember what I said, you're feeling good, buddy. You know, he's like, yeah, yeah, I'm like, because you look like you are for sleeping.

You're kind of slurring your words. You go, he's like, oh, yeah, I'm good. I'm good. I'm like, all right, all right. And then afterwards, I sent him a message because I felt bad because I was like, I had injuries, but you still want to. fight as a fighter you don't give a fuck about your injuries and you still want to go and that's that's the fighter inside you and i thought if somebody was highlighting one of my injuries on tv i'd be pissed

at that guy so afterwards i felt bad i was like yo max sorry man i wasn't trying to and anyway he messaged me back with by this point the news are broken that he had a concussion and shit and he wasn't able to fight and he messaged me back he said no thank you thank you so much thank you because because of that i'm not fighting and and i want to say thank you Thank you. So he took it so well. He's a great guy. When did he get concussed that afternoon?

No, I think it was, I think it was, I don't know this from the horse's mouth, but I think a few days prior, what I heard on the grapevine around the UFC, he got knocked out in training a few days before. But I could be wrong there. That's what someone told me. That's what I was hearing, yeah. You know, I think it was not this card or the last one. I don't want to mention any names.

I looked at the card, but I saw a name on there that, you could tell he's already gone. And I was like, why are they letting this poor bastard fight? And he lost again. And it's like, there comes a point where you could tell you don't have to be a genius that's something the screws aren't right. Yeah, no, for sure. Were you scared of it at any point?

No, I wasn't. I wasn't. I never was. I was. I was always fearless, you know, as a fighter. You can't. You can't. You can't have that mindset.

You can't have that mindset. No, you can't. I retired because this eye here, fucked. It's fucked. So, but, but I see fighters out there and they fight a certain way. And, you know, it's not smart. The idea of fighting, professional fighting, skilled fighting is to hit and not get hit. You know, all this fucking bravado, or I don't care, man, I'll take one to get in there. No, it's stupid. As you said, boxing is a sweet science. There's a science to fight and there's a science to martial arts. You know, these, you know, a lot of people in UFC, I'm not saying

I'm not a knucklehead because I've certainly had my moments out like an idiot sometimes. But there's a lot of people that aren't martial arts to fighters, you know, and they go out there and they have the chin carried in the air, and they take a ton of shots. And it's great for the crowd and it's great for the UFC. And I enjoy it and it's exciting as hell. But I worry for those guys that do that and fight that way. Because as you say, you can see it with some guys as well.

And I don't want to say names, but you know, you know, you see it. It doesn't take a proper genius to know. Exactly. And there's a genetic disposition to it as well. Oh, there is. Because there's guys who take a lot. A lot of, dude, you've had a, you were talking about you had the most, you know, one of the most fights in the UFC.

You've been in a lot of fucking wars as well. You know, I think that, you know, it depends on the way you're made up. You know, I think certain people smoke cigarettes their entire life, they get cancer, right? And it's just, it is what it is. No, it's 50-50. Yeah. You know, 50-50. You know, they smoke more cigarettes in China than what we do here and they have less percentage

of cancer. Really? Is that true? Yeah. Because it's insane. That's insane. That's insane. That's fucking insane.

And all that type of shit. Really? You know, listen, you never know what your jaw is going to take. It could be three punches or 20 until you start getting a glass jaw. You never know. Same thing with your coconut. How many, you know, as an, my dick, as an offensive center in football, how many times can you get fucking hit in the head?

You know. As a fucking lineback or as a quarterback. I was watching a game the other day. you can't barely touch the quarterback no more. Right, yeah. You can't barely touch them no more. You know the amount of times after a fight when I've lost badly,

and I have no idea what's going on, but I'm smart enough to know to act that I'm okay. You know what I mean? So I'm trying to piece everything together very carefully in as to what's going on. And then a couple of days later, I think back to that. I'm like, fuck, man, I was so out of it. And you're doing interviews

and you're talking to people, and you don't know what's going on. You can't remember stuff. I mean, the worst one, when I got knocked out against Dan Anderson, UFC 100. And I was backstage, and I had no idea what happened.

I don't know why I had fought. I thought I was fighting in three months. I thought, I was saying to my manager, why did I fight? He's like, what do you mean? I'm like, I wasn't fighting tonight, you know? He's like, dude, we've got to get you to the hospital. I'm like, no, no, no, I'm good.

I'd get in the shower. Second later, I'd walk out and they'd go, come here. Because everyone was around there, the UFC people, doctors and shit. I'm like, what's going on? He's like, fucking out. You need to go to the hospital. I said, no, no, no, I'm good, I'm good.

Two minutes later, come here. What's going on? You know, and this went on for a while, and they were trying to get me to the hospital. I would deny it. No, no, I'm good, I'm good. Anyway, long ago, he took me to the hospital. I shared an ambulance with Frank Mirr

after he just had his eyes kicked off, brought Lesda, and we're both in the back of the ambulance, feeling like sorry motherfuckers. And I'm like, hey, what's up, Frank? And then I was like, motherfucker, he's like, what's up? I'm like, no. never mind it's all coming back to you and now i realize now i know you know it's a tough game

it's a tough game you know you got to know when to get out the end of the story is that frank me it was never in that van yeah exactly i've never met this being he's out of his mind what the fuck were you thinking a month to go get into the actagon or whatever the fuck he did oh man you're a crazy oh yeah that was i did for alice mania um which is a uh jason alice is a radio personality serious ex-em who are i've known a little while now and uh yeah i did the first ever m m mhm they never did m m m ms it was always like like uh boxing between like fans and shit and they have like roller skating fights and fucking stupid it's just it's just dumb yeah yeah so so so i'm cornering him okay he sold me that it was going to be a real m m m m m mhmai fight i did not say i was

going to be real mhm no you said it's an m m m mhmmy fight i wasn't you had an m m mhmap fight and i'm all right cool yeah whatever I respect you Lewis, you know, and he was pushing himself and he was training and he was doing all days. And I was like, oh, fuck, this guy's taking it serious. And he comes down to my house and, you know, whatever, we did a couple of training sessions, drove him to Vegas. He's getting on like, you know, my weight, my weight, fucking hell. He did the scales and blah, blah, blah. I'm like, he's getting on like I was for fucking, like, the biggest bite of my life.

You think he was fighting Khabit at the weekend, right? And the biggest pay-per-view of all time. I'm like, fuck, where are we going here, right? And anyway, we get there. We're checking into the hotel. And I know how this feels. Because when you check into a hotel and your room's not ready, it's annoying as fuck.

I check in, my room's ready. Lewis's his room's not ready. And he's like, what the fuck? Because he was due to be on the scale to weigh in in about 30 minutes and he had to cut a little bit of weight. And he's freaking out and this and that. And I'm like, Lewis, it's okay. It's okay.

Just come up to my room and cut it. He said, no, this is bullshit. This shouldn't be happening. He has a breakdown. He said his hands and knees in the lobby of the hardrocks. Suitcase open. Throwing shit everywhere. I'm looking for his father.

I still to this day, don't know what he was looking for. His shorts or something to weigh in. Sweet sweat. Sweet sweat. And I'm like, what are you doing? Get off the fucking... I said, Louis, Lewis, listen.

Listen, you've got to enjoy this process, man. That's what my coach said to me. When I took the World Title Fight on two weeks notice, I always stressed. I was stressing myself out. By the way, I knew you were going to fucking win. Oh, thank you very much. Something in the air.

He was too cocky, Luke. And you fight for your life. Well, thank you very much. But Jason, I always stress out in training camps because I want to win, you know, and I feel the pressure. And Perillo pulled me. to one side he said Mike listen it's only a two-week training camp can you calm down enjoy this

process he said who knows maybe you never fight for a world title ever again you know so let's enjoy it you know let's enjoy this moment and I thought you know what he's absolutely right it was fantastic advice and I did it was like a weight lifted off my shoulders so I go up to Lewis I'm like Lewis you might never fight in the UFC yeah sorry I'm never another MMA fight again but this is a big moment for you you're here there's a way out there you know lose the chip on your shoulder enjoy this process and he looked to me like he wanted to kill me and basically said go fuck yourself you should have brought the scale Mike but blah blah blah blah blah blah he was supposed to bring the fucking scale it was his idea to bring the scale it was

in the last minute he was like dad we're not going to bring the fucking scale man wait yeah what was weight uh 205 pounds I weighed at 202.6 but I didn't know yeah and we were late and when I'm running late when I'm in route dude I'm really rude to cab drivers because if I'm running late for something. He was a cunt. I wanted to beat the piss out of him. I was like, oh my God. I was biting my tongue so hard.

I'm like, I don't want to fuck him up. I'm like, this motherfucker. I'm driving him to Vegas. I'm putting him up. I'm taking him for physical therapy. I'm doing this. I'm driving him over. I'm picking him up in L.A.

I finish UFC tonight. Motherfucking kept me waiting for an hour and a half. And then he gets there after me sitting in my car for an hour and a half. Take me to a Starbucks. I'm like, wow. Take him down to my house. My wife's cooking. Taking him everywhere.

Driving him to Vegas. Kicking off throwing shit everywhere in the hard rock. I'm like, the fuck is going on with this guy because I don't get spoken to like that and I don't accept it because I tell people to fuck off but I like Lewis and I have respect for him and I understand.

So I'm like, all right, but I'm biting my fucking tongue. I'm like, this motherfucker. And anyway, long story short, he's warming up for the fight. I turn up. It's my wife's anniversary 19 years, but still, you know,

I got corner Lewis. It's not 20, shut up. And, and, uh, it's not the big one. And I'm in there. And Kyle Kingsbury is the main event. He's dancing in silver, like, Speedos,

silver speedos, high on magic mushrooms, dancing to the dirty dancing soundtrack. High as a fucking kite. I'm like, what's going on? I look out, there's guys on roller skates punching each other in the face while the whole crowd throws dodge balls, okay? I'm like, what the fuck is going on?

And I'm wrapping his hands. He's like, no, it's too tight, do it again. I'm like, oh, okay. Wrap his hands as it's too tight. I'm like, what the fuck, man? I broke my hand a week before. This fucking pussy. I have a broken hand.

But there's like midgets in the fucking ring and there's all this and throwing dodge balls and he's the main event's high on magic mushrooms and dancing. What was he fighting? Palisbury was fighting boxing Jason Ellis, but he had to take mushrooms. And I'm thinking to myself, a few months ago, I was main event Madison Square Garden against George St. Pierre, fuck me, how the mighty have fallen. Is this? Is this what he's come to?

Fuck my life right now. But he was great. He went out there, performed. It was a great performance. How did you get into beef with this? All right. It wasn't into a beef. Ryan O'Neill, Danish,

are you friends? I'm friends with Ryan. He's great, dude. Great comic. It got personal for a while, though. It did, though. Ari Shafir and Sam Tripoli were supposed to fight each other at this event.

And Sam sort of sparked this little beef between me and Ryan. He was like, these guys should fight because Ryan apparently was a tech window black belt. And he had always talked. about wanting to get into a fight and me I'm just a dickhead I do an MMA podcast I've never trained a day in my life I was I was a goth kid in high school there's no

athleticism in my life a golf kid goth oh gosh I was like you pretend that you have had a poor upbringing but you were on the golf team I'm like what the fuck eyeliner long hair melon masts and t-shirts drummer at a band I wasn't like a fucking tough guy kid I was the toughest out of the goth kids so I protect my fat goth friends you know what I'm saying but I've always had like I've always wanted to fight and I've always wanted to like test myself and see what would happen I've always like been willing to somebody talk shit

just been willing to fight like you know as a dude I don't know like there's just people that are willing to if somebody starts going fucking crazy on a train car certain people step up and fucking say hey dude shut the fuck up I'm one of those guys right so so your old mouth no action is what you're saying

you're one of those fucking assholes no that's not true but no I'm talking about if somebody I know you are so but so he sort of set it off on Twitter and I made a joke I was like I fear no clown meaning like I'll fight any fucking comic comics or pussies like you know

whatever except for Joe Rogan so then he talked about it on his podcast and then it became this thing we just started talking I didn't know this guy at all I had never met him at that point and we just started talking shit back and forth here and there and then eventually just turned into dude I'll fight you out this fucking event

if you want to do it we'll train for three months we'll do it and uh yeah and it was the reality is like I think it was really cool thing to just test myself as a dude. Did you train for three months? I trained for three months really hard. He did, he did.

He lost a shit ton of way. He put himself through a proper training camp. I was very impressed. You know, how seriously he was taking it. That's why I was so like, fucking my mind exploded when I saw the event. Because I thought we were going to like a legit like one of those like low level fights at the hard rock at the joint. You know what I mean?

Legit MMA. I was like, oh, fucking cool man. Right on Lewis. Yeah. Respect. Get there. Mind explodes. Look, it was, it was a shit show, but what, you know.

It was a lot of fun. It was a lot of fun. It was a lot of fun. It's stupid. Nobody's taking it super seriously. I didn't, but I didn't think it was stupid. I think that you learned something.

It was great. I think that you, I would love to be able to fucking go to a jujitsu tournament. I'm petrified. Yeah. Petrified. Petrified. Petrified to go and just do a master's blue belt thing.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. I mean, I understand that. I mean, as I said earlier. But I know if I go, I will fucking improve so much. 100% you need to set those you need to set those goals and that's the other thing is like

I lost a shit ton of we do I'm doing a special in December I'm filming in New York do you know how much training for that fight helped me with the special absolutely preparing and thinking because I think now I'm like dude I prepared for a fight I got myself physically ready to go three three minute rounds you know I learned jujitsu I mean I was tapping out blue belts that were fucking training for a year and a half two years I was doing shit with the jihitsu are you still going dude I had I should I do I I suppose blocks my shoulder six weeks for the fight broke my hand 10 days before that's why I kept on having to rewrap my hand it was a great moment though because he goes dude I was like gotta rewrap it again

he's like mate I'm not fucking wrapping your hand again your hand fucking hurts it's not gonna hurt as soon as you walk out there and as soon as you know the adrenaline you're not gonna feel it buddy I can't wrap your hand the perfect way you're saying it's hurt if your hands hurt your hands hurt wrapping it isn't gonna make it any better when you're out there you're not gonna feel a goddamn thing as soon as I've got no more fucking bandages You know, we're all out. We've gone through 75. We're using masking tape.

A thousand rolls of tape. We're done. I got out there. As soon as I stepped out there, I didn't think about my hand, my shoulder. It was fucking crazy. He did great. He did. Yeah, it was.

It's on YouTube. Yeah, I won. It's on YouTube. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was good. It was a really cool experience, dude. Like, dude, I don't know, man. I sort of, like, psyching myself up in my head about, like, what it meant to set a goal and, like, accomplish it

and teaching that to my son. like what that means and then I started going like dude this guy's trying to fucking take that away from my son that lesson and I don't know when you have that it was a crazy type of motivation that I had and I think you need look to get in shape it was fucking great but also just to sort of like hit a goal and like be so specific about it that's what I miss about fighting yeah people say you said to me before do you miss it it's like you know listen of course you know it's exciting and all the rest of it and the money's good and blah and you know I like to compete that's what I do but no not really I you

I want to be successful. I've got a lot of things going on outside the octagon, so I'm happy in that regard. But I do miss the fact that when you, when you've got to fight and you've got to do a fight camp, and you've got to win the fight, and you get your team together at the start of the camp, and you sit down, and your wife makes dinner for everybody,

and you play the fights, and we all sit there, and we strategize, and we're coming with a game plan, and I'm 37 pounds overweight, and they say, okay, the nutritionist sets the fucking diet, and all this type of stuff, and we've set a plan, and we get the whiteboard out, and we figure out the fucking training regime, and all this, it's very scientific,

and you're on a mission and you've got a team and you're on a mission, you know, and it's exciting. That's what I miss. You're hitting a real goal. That's what I miss. I'm like, okay, we're all working towards one goal, flying out to fucking China or wherever to take on Kungley on August 14th, okay, and they're all going to fight together, you know,

and I missed that side of it. I missed the quest. I miss the quest and the mission side of it, you know. It's a beautiful thing in that regard. When you retired, you, what said I'm staying an announcer? Yeah, yeah. things that you like to do. Yeah, I mean, I mean, obviously I do the podcast with Lewis, which, you know,

is blowing up massively and thoroughly enjoy it. Do a lot of stuff with Fox. As soon as it's going to be ESPN, so I'll be switching over to ESPN, which is a shame, great time at Fox. UFC just recently offered me a commentating contract as well, so there's that. I do a lot of acting. Do host some TV shows. Just hosted a massive show which is going to break soon on Netflix.

I'm involved with a sports gambling company, a fancy sports company. a fancy sports company called Playland. That's blowing up like crazy. Got UFC gyms. I just bought the rights to UFC gym in England. We're opening 110 gyms in England over the next 10 years. Jesus, right. I've got a lot of things going on.

It's a fucking, yeah. I'm not going to see as a high school gym. Yeah, no, no, no, not at all, not at all. That's another reason why I felt safe to step away now. You know, because I should, health-wise, I've retired a long time ago, but I wasn't ready. I wasn't financially there. I hadn't networked enough.

See, see, I knew I was always on borrowed time ever since my eye got fucked up, you know. So I was just trying to stack chips, make contacts, networks, set myself up. And that's what I was trying to do the whole time, you know. So, yeah, and then when I came to a point where I was ready, I was comfortable to step away. But I was actually flying up to the gas digital studios in New York to record a copy of the session of the podcast. And I was on the plane. I was watching this movie called The Journeyman, this English actor and director, Patty Considant.

And he plays a boxer that was a world. champion and he wins the fight and he goes on to his wife and he's sitting there and he's having a cup of tea after the fire and he's chatting to his wife anyway he ends up getting brain damage and he's fucked in a big way you know and I've had a lot of injuries but my eye is the main thing and I don't want to go blind and I was thinking this just ain't worth it man you know how how much money is going to be enough how how many fights do you need how much does your ego need you know and my friend said to me said might if you lost your vision because I have problems with my good eye as well it's like you know like even now every time I turn you

like that, I get flashes in my eye, I floaters all the time, it's fucked. He said, if you went blind, there's no amount of money that you wouldn't give to get your vision back. So it's just not worth it. And then when I was watching that movie, I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

it fucking hit home. And I got on the podcast straight away, I said, yeah, I'm retired. Yeah, he told him literally minutes before we got on the podcast, he was like, I'm going to announce my retirement. You were talking about possibly doing it. Yeah, I was thinking about it for a little while.

I was flirting with the idea, but I was going to have a while. You were flirting with the idea before you had the title. Oh no for sure I was yeah yeah but but but I was flirting with seriously doing I was I'll have one more I love one more you know yeah but yeah there was some close I mean you got the title man yeah no I know wow that's used that's yeah no it was for me it was a big thing because and how much did that help you with setting up

everything as well I mean the reality is like do I know because we do the podcast together you know it was huge but for me it was more of a personal thing when I won the title because you know you know I don't to go on and fucking feel sorry for myself but when I was younger, you know, it's it's all I had, you know, and that's what I prided myself on, which is a stupid thing to pride yourself on, being able to beat

anyone in a fight, you know, but it was all I fucking had. And then I got to the UFC and I, you know, I was a loud mouth asshole and I talked to a lot of shit, you know, and, you know, I was just in the moment. But you had parameters. No, of course, of course. You have parameters. But everyone said he'll never win the belt.

This guy's not good enough. Yeah, he's tough whether, he'll never do it. And that's all everyone ever that everyone ever said and you have no idea how much that ever motivated me you know and then when I got it

I was like I don't give a shit about the money that for me with the personal satisfaction of looking to all the fighters in the division

all the critics all the reporters all the journalists my teachers at fucking school everyone's saying fuck you look at me now there you go

a big a fuck you is a big motivator in life no of course it is it's a big fuck I think I think about Mr. Lefeber my principal

every almost every day anytime I cash a check Anytime I do anything that I'm like I feel accomplished, because I remember him telling me when I was like in the 11th grade, you'll never graduate from this high school. He said those words and I graduated from this high school and then I went on to fucking do, no,

and I'm not going to shit on teachers or principals, but I think something pretty fucking extraordinary compared to a principal of some fucking shitty high school, you know. Yeah, for sure. By the way, for some adult to ever get to a point where you're, first of your teaching kids, you're the principal, you're the dude that's supposed to inspire the teachers of your children

to get to a point where you're going to telekating your school that will never graduate from your school. That's fucking New York City. They tell you the truth. You were a fucking idiot. It was a suburb. It was a good. You were out of the bed.

Listen, come here. You were fucking. Yeah, yeah, but it's fucked up. You'll work for your fault. And you know what? To a certain degree,

some people do need to have their parameters set, you know, and their expectations limited. I had an ironer on. He was right. Yeah, he was right, man. Come on. I said the same thing.

You know, I'm all about inspiring the next generation and shit. But let's be honest, the guy's walking into walls over there. Okay? He's never going to fucking be the next CEO of Apple, okay? Happy with the job at McDonald's. You know, it's so weird how I always...

My goal with comedy was not to be Louis C.K., Richard Pry. It was just not to make it be a waste of my time. I never thought about being a millionaire. I never thought about that stuff. I just never wanted the time I put it. It's like when you're doing comedy eight years and you quit. That's going to haunt you for the rest of your fucking life. you gotta play the handout to the end.

Dude. You meet people that quit in comedy, it's bizarre. I meet them all the time. It's uncomfortable. Yeah. My heart stop. How would you feel of me and Michael Bisbing were training at that same karate school

and, you know, the honest reality of it? I used to light Bisbing up in training. Now I'm an engineer and Michael Bisbing is the world champion of the UFC. Yeah, yeah. You quit because you knocked the girl up. Yeah, you quit. He talked you out of it and knew what you do. What do you feel like today?

That you were really light in Michael business. That's the thing. Anybody who does stand up comedy, I don't know about fighting, but it's probably the truth for fighting as well. To the point where you're putting yourself, you know, at risk, you know, career-wise, where you're taking the real chance. And I've run into a few people where they quit and you see it on their face and you know they gave up their dream.

Because you don't put a few years into something like stand-up comedy, which fucking sucks in the beginning if it's not your dream. If you don't want to be Richard Pryor up there, whoever the fuck it is that you inspired you, you're looking at somebody who actually gave up on the dream and you know it. And they know you know it. And that sucks. Nothing bothers me more when I hang out with you for three or four years and we talk comedy. And one night we actually go get a sandwich and we talk about comedy.

And then three years later, I walk until an audition and you're the guy working the camera. Oh, yeah. You become a producer or you become a director. You want to light my fire up. That lights my fire up. I can't be judgmental. I just, I don't know. You know, for me, when I got into fighting,

my, my, my God, I remember sitting with my dad and game planning it because, MMA was nothing in the UK. It was nothing. There was no fucking scene whatsoever. And everybody said, if you get it into MMA for money,

you're making a big mistake. And that was the only reason why I was doing it, The only fucking reason. And the goal was to make enough money to be able to go to college and study something and then be able to get a real job down the fucking line. You know what I mean?

As opposed to the shitty... What a sad dream that is, by the way? Well, I know, but it wasn't a bad dream to me. To me, it was a dream of that, you know, I'll be able to get a decent job. Just to learn something, though. Because the UFC, even back then, there wasn't a lot of money being thrown around in 2003.

Do you know what I mean? You know, it wasn't like now. You know, especially for a kid from England that there's no shows in England or nothing. Do you know what I mean? Can make enough money if I can maybe get, you know, 50 grand put away and then go to college,

fund the family for a few years. When you were gone to college, what would you... I have no fucking idea. No fucking idea. But that was a stupid fucking thing. I was like, here's what I'm going to do. Okay?

I'm going to be a cage fighter, earn enough money and go to college. When you were DJing, did you ever say to yourself, man, maybe I'll go to college and be a lawyer. Yeah, well, I signed up. But I was an idiot. I could never.

follow. What did you sign up for? To be a structural engineer. Structural engineer. How about you? But I didn't make it to the first fucking class.

No. I didn't make it. The enrollment process was too much for me. You know, because I had to get in a bus and go to Blackburn which is another town and calls and be organized. I didn't even fucking get that for.

College? College? What was your first dream? Oh, my first dream. Yeah. Like college and then a lawyer, or maybe a client. Dude, I was, I was, I really got into music when I was a kid.

I was a drummer and a band, Salty Black Flower. And, yeah, we, it was always like, did I fucking grew up? When you grow up, I was so aware of money when I was like four. My kid now, I said to him the other day. I was like, yeah, I grew up poor James. He's five. He goes, what's poor? And I was just an adorable sentence.

I was like, what's poor? Like, he does, he has no idea. He has no understanding of what money is or what, you know, by the time I was five, I knew my mom was on welfare. I knew we were on food stamps. So I knew I was aware that we didn't make money that we were like, you know, it was a fucked up thing. So I was like, I don't know, like the first real dream, I wanted to be a pro wrestler when I was a kid. I wanted to be John Claude Van Dam.

You are. You made it, dude. No, I know, but I wanted to be a martial arts movie actor. That's what I wanted to be. So bad. Yeah. I don't want to, I mean, yeah. Which I'm not far off fucking doing, by the way.

You can do that. I'm pretty happy. No, we've got a great martial arts movie. the end of the year coming out called triple threat it's gonna be sick check it out my dog died halfway through making so you see it halfway the movie so you see it halfway through the movie tony jar eco ways he's a really good martial artist tiger chen uh michael jarl white scott adkins it's it's got what they claim is the best martial arts cast how cool is michael jay white cool as fuck i just great guy bumped into him eating dinner and i

didn't say nothing but i know he's friends with eddie i didn't say a fucking word if He was with his wife and he got up and he goes, you enjoy karate? What's happening? I started talking to him like I knew him for 10 years. He doesn't like dogs though. I'll tell you, it doesn't like dogs because when my dog died, you crying.

And you wanna talk about it, don't you? Anyway, so, so, so like we're sitting there, it's hot as fuck. We're in the, we see how much his dog affects him? His death, he's been up five times. It's funny, we've mentioned it, but then you mentioned Michael Jal White and the story's actually entirely. As I say, he's the man, it's a great guy,

he's a gentle, man, he's an awesome human being, he really is. But as I say, he's not a lover of dogs because my dog's died, and I'm trying to not cry, and we're sitting there in between takes, and I want to talk about it, because it's on my mind. I'm like, yo, Mike, he's like, yeah, what's up? I'm like, my fucking dog died, man.

I just had to put my dog down. And he goes, oh, yeah? So yeah, he goes, oh, and then looked away, and that was it. And I was like, fuck. And anyway, when I was like, Michael Vicks' cousin. Yeah, I'm almost crying inside, right?

So anyway, so anyway. This is Michael makes sense of this shit. So anyway, so a few hours later, we're back in the same position. It's just me and him there again. And I'm like, all I'm thinking is my dog, I just put him down a few hours ago. And I'm like, I want to talk about it, but he wasn't interested before. But maybe he didn't quite understand me because of my accent. You know, I, I, yo, Mike.

He's like, what's up? I'm like, ah, fuck, man. I had to put my dog down before. And he goes, yeah, you told me. I'm like, all right, okay. you're not a dog guy and I felt like such an asshole everybody else kids

you like it you like it you like the word yesterday Saturday I got a text from Donald Serone okay not a text on email and he goes they're looking for you to do this movie but you got to do it on Monday oh yeah and I had you guys I was like I'm not going to fucking you should have done the movie man

no I can come any time no yeah yeah not me I'm some things that you do and there's some things it was a six out listen it's a six hour flight from five hour flight from west palm to LA I would have had to go home change clothes hug my kid and get another plane to Utah

and then a connecting flight to Idaho Falls and then an hour drive the location listen guys no no I love doing movies but I don't like going crazy oh I love there's no more I have such a freedom with the podcast and I've done so many good projects and so many shitty projects that

Now I'm really picky, and I know exactly what I'm getting. That's great. That's a dream, by the way. It's waking up every morning and doing what the fuck you want to do. Listen, whatever his name said it best, you know, what the fuck is that saying? Walt Disney. No, about that fucking, it's when you could go from area to area with full enthusiasts. Winston Churchill said success is when you can go from area to area with enthusiasm.

You know, that's why you could never be a fucking DJ. full-time to you was 65. He's also got British rhythm. Well, no, but the whole thing is there's some people. You'd be surprised. You'd be surprised. I want to say it. I'm waiting to see.

There's some people that want to do a few different things, you know, and it wasn't exactly what you went for. Do you think I was going to get into the long? Did you think I thought I'd get into the longest yard when I moved here? I thought I would be an extra at best ever. Like, if I became an extra in a movie, I'd be great. And I booked a national commercial. I'm like, how do I do.

this happened. So you never really fucking no one, too. And I loved acting for years until it just got to the point where I'd rather say my own lines and say somebody else's fucking lines. Especially when they're this shitty fucking lines. Yeah, no, I know.

It's a fucking nightmare. I do a lot of auditions right now, and you know, I prepare it for them. I work with my acting coach and you know, I do good auditions these days, but I still still still some of the lines, I'm like, fuck's sake, this is ridiculous. You know what my strength is? auditioning. Yeah. I fuck a rumor. You killing auditions?

Kill psychologically. I know the psychological part of it. You gotta get the people to like you. If you get the, if you get the, yeah, no, sure. I go early and I sit by the door, and I listen to what the three fucking idiots are saying, and I know how to stretch a line out into two lines. That's because I went on five years, I went on all the major auditions. And until one day that I took the stage, and I combined it until you audition. So it started clicking for me. Once I took what I did on stage

and put it into an audition, I would go in for these one-liners and I go, I can't book a one-liner. Hey, it's great to meet you. I couldn't book that until I figured out how to turn those one lines into two lines and stay in that room

a lot longer than everybody else. The key is to stay in that room. When you go to an audition, you see people walking in and out, you're heartbroken. Yeah. You don't want to be. one of those people. Oh, I want to be one of those people.

No, I want to go. I'm like, oh my God, please. Oh, I don't have to do another, I don't have to do another. I don't have to do another. It's not good. It's not a good sign. If they're just letting you walk out. Have you ever seen me on TV motherfuckers? Don't worry. No, you got to leave. I like that. You want to do another. How do you feel about it? Yeah. Sure, you want to do another. That's a good sign. Like, they want you to do back. Well, yeah, I agree. I do everything but touch the cast and direct. I kick chairs. I fly over the 90s. I used to go in. One time. One time. I was. I was a lot. I do it. One time. I was I ripped my pants and my ball sack fell out.

I had no underwear. And I asked me if they saw the Cuban night grow and they hired me. It's, uh, what is it? What's that show on CBS for years? How I dated your mother. Have you ever seen me on there? I'm an extra. Oh, really?

Because they hired me because my balls came on and they laughed. When I got that was the wrong type. The director's like, we don't want this fucking guy. These balls are too small. Listen, man, it was a pleasure having both of you won. Thanks, Joe. What's the name of the podcast? Believe you may.

Yeah. Okay. And you do it twice a week now. Yeah. We do it definitely once a week, sometimes twice a week, once in a while, three times week. Who knows? Who knows? Who knows what the fuck happens, right?

Yeah, believe you may check it out, all the usual fucking spots, yeah. Yeah, we do it. We do it. You can get it for free. Everywhere you get podcasts for free, you can download it and watch it on YouTube, the latest few episodes always on YouTube. And, yeah, it's great, dude. I love it.

Tomorrow night, the Comedy Store? Yeah, tomorrow night comedy store. See, I got to go to a Greg Garcia thing first for the guest book, and then I'll shoot over that. Great. I love it, dude. Legion of Skanks this week at the Comedy Soor. Also, I'm running my hour. I'm filming my special.

Louis J. Gomez presents Louis J. Gomez, December 9th in New York City. How nice statistic is that? Michael Bispin presents Michael Bespin. It's like, yeah, we know your name, Dick, has. That's the joke. That's the, you know. What are you doing to that? I'm doing it.

I'm doing it in, uh, at the cutting room, which is a really cool rock club in New York. And I'm going to be touring. If you go to Louis J.games presents to Lichiegummes.com. I'm torn all over the country right now. I'm running it in, uh, at the La Jolla comedy. So we're on Thursday night. I'll be in Philly. I'll be in Atlantic City.

Let's just focus on La Jolla for Thursday. I'm going to say what the fuck machine over here. La Jolla Thursday night. That's it. You, congratulations on your retirement. No, appreciate it,

buddy. Fucking a gentleman outside the octagon and inside the octagon. I still remember you busting my balls after you beat up Mayhem Miller. Where is Mayhem Miller? Is he doing time? I have no idea.

He's got to be either doing time or in an insane asylum. Well, he might be in an insane asylum, but he's not on Twitter. No. He has not been on the... I don't know, man. He took the beat.

Why would I say to you after that? You came to the table and you were fucking... In the restaurant, were you with Rogan? Yes. In Denver? Well, no, no, no. And then you even did a joy karate video. Oh, fuck, I must have been on a good one.

Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're having a good time. You were fucking not... We were sitting there and you came over to the table and you were gentlemen and I'm like, wow. You know, usually fucking some guys are just weird, but you're always very nice. And then we took that plane that morning. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you fucking smelt the tremendous when he got there. I'm like, this motherfucker is, he's been going since 2 in the afternoon.

Thank you guys for coming on again. I want to thank Michael Bisbing and Louis J. Gomez for stopping by the church of what's happening now. Also, don't forget, October 25th to the 27th, I'm at hilarities in Cleveland with my man, George Perez. And then November 8th. The Tunnel Rat Tour starts after the Netflix special gets dropped on October 30th. Myself and Kate Quigley at Gotham for the New York Comedy Festival. Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, five fucking shows, and they will sell out. No fucking around.

So don't fuck around. I'm just letting you know. But before we get into anything, listen, I want to talk to you. Watching football is fun. But let me tell you something. It's a lot better when you got a little action on the games and you're winning a little money. Guys, you've heard me talk about this for weeks. and some of you are still not making money,

not doing dick. Whether you're an expert or a rookie, you should be betting at my bookie. You're like Joey, why? Listen, if you're the kind of guy likes to bet a little and win a lot, like playing numbers on a roulette, you can create a huge parlay at my bookie.

Here's how it works. You pick three teams to win, and if you hit all three of them, you can turn a yardstick into $600. That's $100.6. There's so much to bet on. You got playoff baseball. You got World Series baseball.

You got football. You got the fights. You got hockey. Listen, my bookie is the one bet I know you'll be happy with. Now, I recommend these guys because I trust them. They've been around for years and they got great online reviews. And their mobile site is easy to use. So listen, you don't want to make no money?

Keep sitting there like a fucking moot. My bookie will match your first deposit dollar for dollar. So if you put in a $200, you get $200 from them. But you got to join today right now. Don't fuck around no more. Dog, you've been fucking around for four or five weeks since the game. It's the six weeks in the NFL or whatever the fuck it is and you're still, you're not making any bachal.

Here you go. Log on to my bookie right now. Tonight and W. Getus. Use promo code church. C-U-R-C-H. And you'll get your first deposit match. 100%.

That's 100%. You understand me? Use promo code church. My bookie. You play. You win. You get paid. Now, some of you motherfuckers gamble, so you've been losing and you're losing your hair.

Let me tell you something, all right, losing 66% of men lose their hair by the age of 35. Nothing to be ashamed of. The thing is when you start to notice hair loss is too late. It's easier to keep the hair that you have than to replace you, the hair that you lost. You understand me? Is that hairline slowly starting to move backwards? Look at your uncle Joey. My hairline's starting to move backwards, but what do I care?

I'm 55. I did what I had to do. Anyway, any bald spots yet? How you feel a year from now? If it's business as usual up there, I ask, do you want a ball spot to pop up or do you want to do something about it first? Do you want your hairline to recede or do you want to do something about it first? Why do guys turn a weird solution or do nothing when they can turn to medicine and science?

Listen, I got the answer. You ready? Write this down. Forehems.com. It's a one-stop shop for hair loss, skin care. and sexual wellness, if you know what I'm talking about, for men. What you're going to do is this, all right? What we do is Hymns connects you with real doctors,

not these guys from Yugoslavia. Real doctors and medical grade solutions to treat hair loss. What they do is they use well-known generic equivalents to name brand supplement prescriptions to help you keep your hair. This ain't no snake oil or no pills you get at 7-Eleven or some gas station. This is a prescription solutions backed by science. Guys, it's tough going bald. It's a reality we all have to face.

But listen, four hymns makes it easy for you. Forhems.com, you got no waiting room, no awkward person, or doctor visits, and you save hours by going to Forhams. It's easy. You answer a few questions. A doctor will review it, and they can prescribe you a product. And guess what? They're shipped directly to your door. Nobody needs to know nothing.

Now, the church family can get a trial month of hymns for five hours. That's five hours. That's $5. Today, not tomorrow, today, right now, while supplies last. Go to the website for full details. This would cost you hundreds if you went to the doctor or you went to some pharmacy. I'm going to save you a ton of money for $5 for one month. Go to 4hims.com slash Joey.

Again, that's forhims.com slash Joey. Now, let's talk about eating because, you know, this is a time of the year when you've got to eat a little bit and you got to eat healthy, I got the answer for you, Blue Apron. You know why? Because they deliver farm fresh ingredients and a step-by-step recipe right to your door. And everything is measured out to the tea.

Here's how it works, all right? You choose chef-designed recipes. We deliver fresh, seasonally inspired ingredients, and you can cook an incredible meal in as little as 20 minutes. I just told you 20 minutes. You know, you got home from work, you're tired. You don't want to order out.

You don't want to get delivery and have some guy putting his fingers in your pizza. No, no, no, no. Dinner in as little as 20 minutes. Every week at least three recipes are built with your busy schedule in mind where Blue Apron has done the meal prep for you. They prepared the sauce, the spices, and the ingredients, all right? Quick and easy recipe options with insanely delicious flavors.

Get rid of the grocery list and let DuAprin do the meal prep for you. Now, we offer a wide variety of recipes. Bursting with flavor. Look what we got this week. I'm going to tell you what we got right now. And I'm salivating at the mouth. You understand me? Ooh, stir-fried sweet chicken, chili chicken with broccoli and rice.

What are you crazy? Ready for this one? Tomato and basil pesto pizza. Seared steaks with homemade steak sauce and seared beef dumplings with jasmine rice. You know how to cook that stuff? No, you don't. but Blue Apron is going to help you, right? Whether you're looking for quick, easy meals,

or the full culinary experience, Blue Apron will help you choose the recipes and the right options. So do me a favor. Check out this week's menu and get your first three meals for free at Blue Apron.com slash Joey. Again, that's blueaperm.com slash Joey to get your three meals for free. Gratiss on the arm.

Blue Apron, a better way to cook. I want to thank Blue Apron I want to thank my people over there my bookie and I want to thank Hems.com, Forhims.com. Forhems.com for being savages and I want to thank Michael Bisbing

and Louis J. Gomez. I want to thank you guys for always having my back and for always being there for coming for the shows. We've built a nice little family. I want to thank the Christkiller and I'll see you guys Thursday morning

tip-top motherfucker McGoo. Don't forget next two You got the guest book Uncle Joey's doing something that's disgusting. You're gonna love it, all right? Lee, kick that fucking meal. Thank you, dude. Stay black. Nice and easy.

That was great, Joe. Thank you. I want to be around to pick up the pieces when somebody breaks your heart. Some, somebody twice as smart. as I A somebody who Will swear to be true As you used to do with me

Who leave you to learn That misery loves company Wait and see See how he does it When he breaks it breaks your heart two bits see if a puzzle fits so fine and that's when I'll discover that revenge is sweet as I sit there applauding from a front row seat when somebody breaks your heart like you I'm