The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #636 - Sin Quirin and Cesar Soto
Episode Date: November 19, 2018Sin Quirin, a grammy nominated guitar player who plays and writes for "Ministry" and "Three Headed Snake", and Cesar Soto, a guitar player for "Ministry" and "Three Headed Snake," joins Joey Diaz a...nd Lee Syatt LIVE in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: My Bookie - Join now and MYBookie will match your deposit with up to a 50% bonus of your first deposit up to $1,000. www.mybookie.ag. Use Promo code CHURCH to activate the offer. Onnit.com - Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout. Recorded live on 11/19/2018.
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Monday morning, if you're not on it,
you're fucking gonna kick you off the boat.
Bong is taking me deep this morning.
Monday morning, my main man, sin.
Hey, from fucking, uh, what's the thing?
Like 22 bands.
Ministry.
Ministry being the main one.
Three-headed snake.
Three-headed snake.
And his compadre.
Caesar.
Caesar.
Cesar.
Cesar.
We're here on a Monday.
Also.
Also for ministry and reunited snake.
How long have you been with ministry for?
Going on four years in February.
But we've known each other.
Almost 20 years.
Almost 20 years.
Yeah.
From the neighborhood.
No, we were in, we met on tour when I was in Society 1.
You were in.
I was an event called Piss and Razors.
Yeah.
Yeah.
From Texas.
I'm from El Paso.
I've known this dude for, yeah.
We met, like, on tour when we were touring in, like,
fucking station wagons and shit and, like, literally, like,
doing the country like that.
I thought we were in luxury and we were in the shitty Winnebago.
Harvey, yeah.
Yeah.
Remember when you were at that level, that that's it.
You were ready for Led Zeppelin.
Hell yeah.
Led Zeppelin move over.
Yep.
We're showing up in a fucking...
83 Winnebago.
In an 83 Winnebago with a fucking replacement flat tire.
Yeah.
That's just getting you there.
After that, you don't know what's going to happen.
Exactly.
You're using the stone for heat.
You might bump into a room full of cock suckers and have an apartment for a week.
You don't know.
You really don't know.
There's a gamble.
What a fucking gamble to put, like, your life into, like.
Yeah, especially back then, man, you know, you know this.
When you tour, when you first start touring, you end up crashing in people's places on the floor and fucking in
bathtubs.
Like people, you do a gig, you rarely make any money back then.
it's just enough to get you to the next town.
Like you barely make gas money to get to the next town.
And you end up meeting people.
And then they're like, hey, you know, if you guys want to crash at my place, you know.
It's crazy.
Is it not crazy?
No, dude.
It's fucking crazy.
And people are doing blow.
And like people are, it's like all kinds of insanity going around.
Were you staying in the same city more than one night or is it all one nighters?
It depends.
Sometimes, like on this tour we got coming up, we're doing a couple of same city.
two nights.
But it varies.
Sometimes we do.
Oftentimes it's one city, one night.
And then after the gig, crew packs up.
And then you drive all night and then wake up in the next town.
Fuck.
Yeah.
And then back then, I mean, dude, no fucking crew.
Like, you're setting up your own shit.
You're selling your own merch.
You're driving yourself, like taking turns.
You know what I mean?
Like driving all night.
We would have shifts and shit.
Who's getting fucked up tonight?
Yeah.
Who's staying?
sober tonight to drive yeah it was fucking crazy back i remember taking a gig i was living in seattle
i was just starting to cook i was doing comedy four years i took a gig in alaska and anchored
alaska and you know it was just a fucking bar nice you know it was just a stage with a bar
and it's what's the ratio in alaska men to women like yeah it's something crazy this is eight
this is 96.
There was like three fucking women for every 20 men.
So I guess something happened.
The whole town thrived off fishing.
So when the boats came in,
the hottest strip club in the nation was that strip club.
Sure.
The hottest bitches from no way, really?
Fly up to Alaska for two weeks to take those fucking fishermen's money
and shit like that.
Oh, yeah.
So we were there during that, like, when the fishermen were in and people were spending.
But I'll never forget, like, I was going to Alaska.
Like, fuck, my career is on the way up, you know.
And we get there, and the condo was a room that had been fucked in and sucked in.
They had used it for pornoes.
People got shot in the ass.
People got putting there that were dead for three days.
Oh, my God.
And they had a broken window.
had a broken window
someone flew out of probably
no like a piece of window was broken
out of the glass it was like you know
so the whole night you froze
did that
you had 10 blankets on a hooded sweatshirt
and they even had a heater in the room
it didn't matter you know you're in fucking Alaska
yeah it was dark all day like it was that time
of the day where you didn't know what time it was
I still remember those gigs
whenever I go to do something now
And I go, wow, look at the, it's a theater.
Yeah.
I think of one of those.
Automatically one pops up that goes, ah, yeah.
I paid my sins for this show.
Yeah.
The reason why there's 1100 people here is because that time I slept in a room.
Yeah.
With no fucking window, you know, whatever.
I remember we were walking around and where was it, man, outside of Boston.
What's that place that we played?
Worcester.
Yeah, and Worcester.
And me and Sin were walking around.
We saw, we had a day off there, the day before our show.
And it was all these vans outside of the venue and all these dudes hanging out in vans and sleeping in vans.
And we're walking by and we're talking about those days.
And we're like, you remember those days, man?
And good days, you know, times you're remembering.
You're like, you know, you're paying your dues.
Yeah, you have to go through all that shit to be able to do stuff at, you know, at the,
and level now next level stuff and but i mean you know we often remember those things in next level
stuff unless you go unless you go through that yeah very much so dude i remember i remember being in a van
and and and like touring in a van and i was comfortable in in this in the space in be on the floor in
between both benches that was like my space and i was like i picked that space because it was like
the warmest space on the floor in the winter and i was cool with it
I was like, it's cool.
That's like my bunk right there.
You know, with like six other dudes, but that's the way it was back then.
Once you have that certain belief that something could happen, your life becomes unstoppable.
Like, it's like everything in your life stops.
Politics, sports.
You know, the only thing that matters is your mom, your dad, what your brother's doing, and whatever art you picked.
Yeah.
And sometimes you even ignore your health.
Oh, yeah.
You know, you ignore your health.
You drink too much.
You do blow.
You eat fried foods.
You ignore so much of so many aspects of your life because of you falling in love so deeply with this belief that this could possibly happen.
That's true.
And then every six months, you climb a new ladder.
Your agent calls and says, hey, you're not doing fucking Ogilala, Nebraska this week.
We made a detour.
You're opening up for such and such in Denver.
A band fell out.
Yep.
And then you meet them, and then they call you six months later and say, hey, you want to do a
tour with us.
Next thing you know, you're on the tour with Allison Chains.
Right.
And even though you're the first band, they're throwing cans at you, they're booing
you.
It doesn't matter.
You walk off that stage and you're like, Alice in Chains is going to come in three bands
behind us.
And next thing you know, now you're the second guy on the bill.
and you're doing that for two years.
But you come out with an album, and the album does well.
And, you know, it's just such a climb.
But then the drummer wants to bring his Chinese girlfriend
into a band like Yoko Ono.
So now you've got to get rid of him.
So now you've got to start a whole new fucking venture.
It's exactly it.
But you keep going.
Yeah.
You keep going.
And then for six months, something happens.
The house you paid for, now you can't pay the mortgage.
So now you've got to go back into the studio
and play the guitar and make believe you want to hear this idiot sing.
Yeah.
Why, you, yeah, that sounds great.
I want a more Spanish sound from you, sin, and you're there.
You want Santana, you want Sin.
Right, exactly.
You want Carlos, go Carlos.
They want to call me.
I'm sin.
Centana.
You know, Santana.
You know what I'm saying?
But it's amazing what the life is.
And also, you got a call from the dude.
He put an album on, and it's number one.
And you're the guitar player on the tour.
And here you are back again.
And now you put together three-headed snake, and they're fucking rocking.
And now, you know, it's such a fucking doggy dog.
And one day you sit there and you go, I've been doing this for 27 years.
These fucking vets go over there for six months.
If they got PTSD, I definitely got something.
I got something.
PTSD, STD, something.
I got something.
I got something.
Because I've been beat up.
Yeah, like beat up emotionally.
And even when you get to where you're going, there's more drama.
Oh, yeah.
Now you got 16 lawyers.
Exactly.
Now you got 16 lawyers.
By the way, you've got to change the lyric in that song because Kmart will get mad.
They won't put the hell.
And now you're like, what the fuck?
What am I going to put instead of Kmart?
Sharpright, White Castle.
What am I going to use?
It never ends.
People think, like, Bruce Springsteen, I guarantee, has a problem with some, you know.
they've shown three movies about music in the last couple of years,
and each movie had a conflict.
They wanted to do something the record label did not,
and they beat them.
Ray Charles wanted to do an album.
The record label said no.
Johnny Cash wanted to do Life from Folsom.
Fulsom.
The record label said no,
and Queen wanted to do Bohemian Rhapsody,
and the people were like, we don't, we don't get it.
Yeah, okay.
They said, fuck no.
And they went and did it.
It takes all those steps.
And to be just, I'm thankful every day that I'm storing comedy.
The other night somebody sat next to me, Adam, the talent coordinator at the comedy store on Saturday night.
And he said something and I go, you know, bro, to be 55 and still be coming down here and doing spots.
Like, that's fucking great.
Fuck, yeah.
Most guys are 55 on a cruise ship.
tap dancing and shit singing songs.
New York, New York.
Are you fucking kidding me?
It's true, man.
I'm on a Monday morning at 9 a.m. Stone to the Gills.
Because the baby came to bed last night.
The 9th day.
They got a stomachache.
And she was working.
She worked the attorney, though.
She worked me first.
She knows how to do it.
I told her with about attorneys.
Yeah.
You got to have a juba from time to time.
You got lower your standards.
She got to start low.
So now she comes to me with a bellyache.
I got to tell the mother.
The mother's telling her now.
She's got it down.
So the fucking turtle fucking started singing songs at 5 30 in the morning.
There's a turtle she's got.
It's singing some fucking songs.
I'm having nightmares about fucking I'm in Thailand in a cave with 12 kids.
I'm hearing this turtle.
I'm hearing this turtle.
Thank God I had a pee.
And I must stay up.
I had some coffee.
I did a couple bongers.
So she has you ask the mom for her?
Oh, yeah.
She comes to me with the stomach ache and shit.
And then she gets in bed and she's jumping up and down.
And the mother's like, I thought you had a stomach egg.
I do.
And I always take blue.
I always take JetBlue.
Yeah.
And they give you a little package to go and mint.
And one of the things in the package is those things that you put on to sleep at night.
I think.
She put those masks on them.
She took it out and she sleeps with a bad.
Oh, she does.
So every night she has those fucking.
and jar jar go bought things on.
I'm over in the middle of night
I was sleeping next to a hamburger.
Wake up,
she's got fucking things on.
I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with my life, though?
I got to get together.
Everything you said, though, is true about
the steps.
And, you know,
for the past,
I started doing this professionally,
if you want to call it that, at about 18, 19.
and it was always just fucking blinders for me.
Like you're exactly right in that.
You forget other things.
You don't even think about other things
because you're just focused on what you love to do
and what your dream is.
And, you know, relationships fucking fall apart.
Everything.
Just fucking people to die.
Yeah, I mean, and you miss a lot of shit, dude.
It's impossible for us to like make plans.
because you know you think you so-and-so my cousin's getting married or so-and-so's birthday or whatever and they you know
everyone makes all these plans to do shit like that we can never we never know where the hell we're
gonna be at and for us to get from point A to point B we know that we've got to do this no matter what
no matter what is happening over here and it's it's a tough thing not everyone understands that shit
and not everyone will make that sacrifice you know great fucking excuse that you know
Fuck yeah.
You're having to do anything.
Oh, absolutely.
I love what they call you.
We're getting married Saturday, March 12th.
I don't hear you.
Fuck.
I'm already booked.
Fucked up.
Well, we're having a wedding rehearsal Wednesday, Sunday night and eight.
Oh, I'll be in a plane.
I just got booked.
Fuck, you're done.
You're in no danger.
We changed the date.
Oh, my mind.
I got a new date.
They can change the date eight times.
Exactly.
And I changed the date here.
So, after I got sick, I don't know what I did.
I don't know what happens.
Sanatra got sick.
It's hysterical, like, how many fucking things people send.
Oh.
And you really, really, really feel bad because we travel for a living.
So once we get off the road, like, we're like, I don't want to see LAX for six weeks.
Yeah.
I love that feeling of saying, I don't.
have to see LAX for six weeks.
Okay, I'm going to have to see Burbank twice.
Yeah.
You know what? Maybe you got a gig in San Jose.
Sure.
And maybe you do one in Portland.
But there's something about not going to LAX for six weeks.
And then somebody hits you with an invite.
And you look at the invite and in your heart, you go, you know what?
I'm going to change who I am.
I'm going to go to this family fucking thing.
And you look at it hard and hard.
And all soon you look at the airline.
and it's a little pricey you know it's not it's out of the range if it was more than two dollars
it's pricey like damn it's more than two dollars damn that price jumped fuck i thought it was it would be
like 350 and it's 400 you look at it then you look at yourself getting in a cab going to the hotel
getting dressed to go to a fucking family thing where you got to talk and they're going to answer questions
why aren't you married your grandmother's leg hurts same question same questions then you got to get back on the
elevator and get on a plane and go what the fuck was that i need rest more than ever you know what i'm saying
i got a six-week tour i got right shit people really don't seem to understand that they really don't
they don't understand the touring part three nights in a row you're not 20 no more you need your sleep this
talking out Jorgensen, he's out of his mind,
12-hour rehearsals the other day.
You're like, we were at the 3rd-3-3-8-2.
Fuck, yeah.
But that's part of the process.
And you want to be at that level.
That's what it takes.
I love these people, yeah.
We'll rehearse four hours.
No.
And drink margaritas and, you know.
Everything's so meticulous.
And make sure the photographer's there.
Everything's so meticulous,
you want to make sure that, I mean,
essentially you want to give people,
pull the show that they paid for really you know what i mean it's like sonically everything has to be there
i i rehearsals are long but they're long for a reason man it's it's to get everything perfect
precision is like you know that's al's thing is precision you know make sure everything is just play your
fucking parts sure we used to we used to rehearse a whole fucking month
before the old tours um when he was still in el paso and uh out there he had his own
studio and shit like that a whole entire month we would rehearse before a tour and most bands
rehearse a week two weeks tops or something like that so he's he's always been very very on top of
the band sounding fucking rock solid 100% like you know everything has to be perfect and that doesn't
happen with just a couple days and just you know oh that's fine that's that's good enough no
it's got to be fucking perfect, consistent every night.
And, you know, it seems a bit excessive to other bands,
but this band has a lot of shit going on on stage.
There's a lot of moving parts that, you know, have to be on fucking, you know,
100%.
So that's why we've rehearsed so much.
Yeah, it's not your traditional, you know, drums, guitar, bass, vocal band.
There's a lot of shit that's going on.
Everything from the visuals.
I mean, everything, everything that we do on stage is just,
It's mapped out, planned out, in sync with everything with the music.
The visuals are in sync with the music, the vocals, the shit that's going on behind us.
Everything is in sync.
So that means that whole team has to be on the same page the entire step of the way.
So that takes a lot of time.
You know, it's a lot of rehearsing.
Do you guys ever have nightmares that something's went wrong?
Dude, I couldn't.
Yeah.
Past two nights, I could not fucking sleep to save my life.
I passed two nights.
Yeah.
So I guess last night was like the second night in a row that I actually fucking got
sleep because I was thinking about everything that I had to go through in my head and shit.
You know what I mean?
It's just, yeah.
Yeah, sometimes.
Yeah.
He's getting sleep.
It gets into your head.
I can't imagine.
First off, when I got into comedy the first of the first 10 years, it was seven nights a week for me.
You know, it was something that.
Rough.
It was just another fucking day.
Yeah.
When I woke up in the morning, the first thing I woke about was, where was I getting on stage?
And number two was how was I going to get $40 for half a gram?
That was the truth.
That was my day.
Did you start in New York?
I started in Denver.
Oh.
And then I got chased out to Seattle.
And in Seattle, I came to Hawaii.
But it was the same grind, you know.
Were you living in Denver?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Oh, nice.
And I developed in El Paso.
Really?
That's where I'm from, man.
The comic strip.
That's where I'm from.
On the west side, I mean.
Bart Reeds.
Bart Reads.
I came up at, I did a lot of work that.
It was weird that I'm watching Narcos now.
Yeah.
And it's about El Paso.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
It's really getting to El Paso now and now they fucking,
El Paso was waiting for the dude.
Fucking tremendous.
I love all that narcos shit.
But there's days I book something.
And I'm not up for it to fucking.
10 minutes before the show.
Like 10 minutes before the show, something happens.
I put a smile on my face.
And I go, you know what?
I'm ready for Freddie.
I'm ready to rock.
I can't imagine 13 people going through that same feeling.
Yeah.
You guys do how many shows a week?
Shit.
Four or five.
Yeah, about four or five.
We'll have days off in between.
Some days we'll have two days off in between.
But it depends on distance.
And if that day off is going to be attractive.
travel day or an off day in whatever city we're playing in the next that's usually what it is if we
have uh if there's a day off it's usually a travel day if there's two days off it's definitely travel
because we're really far away from the next destination but um yeah there's some nights or some tours
where you know we do five six in a in a row bro what about driving to hungry on it on the last uh
on the last were holy fuck that was how many hours that was uh 17 hours on the bus 17 or 18 hours
on the bus with with 17 18 people fuck it's fucking brutal dude we literally pulled up the crew unloaded
uh everyone was like super hungry yeah uh it was raining you know i was some i mean some nights man
it's literally we pull up and doors are about to open already and the crew is just hauling ass to
get our game or was it Bristol yeah bristol where we like it was like 30 minutes before doors and
they still had to set up all our stage and everything and some of those drives are just insane man
they got it done you just cooped up in the bus like you know already just it's fucking going stir
crazy in there and then you got to be on to get up on stage and fucking you know like everything has
been going great and you just got a fucking smile on your face and get your fucking head ready yeah
you're about to go up
Yeah.
Why do you think, I think, because people always talk about the similarities between musicians and comedians.
The only thing, the only thing difference that I am thinking about now is like the show.
It seems like the opening band usually gets shit on.
Like opening, people go for the opening comedians and something, they'll laugh.
Every time, like every time I hear people go into a concert, like, oh, we can go late, so-and-to's opening.
We can get, like, they don't seem to get as much respect.
Yeah, it sucks.
It seems, I mean, to me, it almost seems like in a way.
weird way it's sort of like this right of passage kind of thing it's just like every like when you're
an opener you just know you're going to get shit on you know that people are gonna even if you're good
like it it's just seems to be it to me almost like that whole paying your dues thing in a weird
way i don't know why that is but that's what it's been like i mean when we were openers i mean i
remember it you know i remember getting shit on i remember fucking i remember fucking getting scissors
throwing out dude i was dude i had fucking in philly i had
fucking scissors fly right by my head when we were the openers i've been burned with like lit cigarettes
and shit like yeah it just you know why who knows it's just but it seems to be like that with
with openers for some reason a long time ago when i got into music it was the late 70s
and the rumor was you had 30 minutes because the opening band i think i
I went to two or three shows with that attitude.
And then Black Sabbath came with Van Halem.
And the word already on the street was to make sure not to miss the opening
ban.
Sure.
So we went and caught Van Halen, destroyed, murder, 20 minutes murder.
He murdered.
Van Halen was, Black Sabbath was done.
But after that, I made it a point.
this is way before comedy was in my future.
I just made it a point to give the artist a chance.
Sure, give me a shot.
Let me decide.
This was way before comedy.
Just some type of respect that I had because I knew I could never do what you do.
So who the fucking mind to go there and throw shit at you?
Yeah.
Like I have never thrown anything at a concert.
I walked out of concerts.
but I've never thrown anything on a concert.
Something about me that I always respected that I can't do what they're doing.
I can't do what they're fucking doing.
My mother used to throw chicken wings at Rusty Stott.
He played left field or whatever for the Mets.
She drew so many chicken wings at them that they used to make us sit on the other side.
That's how pissed off she had Rusty Starr.
Would she eat the chicken or would be like...
would eat it and throw bones at him because fucking he missed the fucking foul ball one time and he
fucking she lost the game so she hated rusty stabs she best she bet the met the met the
met to something like that i get that shit you know but i don't get i don't know i don't get i don't get
fucking not walking in while somebody's on stage sure i went to the county store the night
And I saw one of the managers, a comic, and a talent coordinator in the back with their phones on.
And I sat back there fucking brewing.
If you know anything about me, there's a movie I'll call The Family with De Niro.
One of the worst movies is ever made with Michelle Pfeiffer and a hot little girl.
But it's him in a situation in the witness relocation plan, that it flashes back to him.
what he would do if this was his old life.
Yeah.
And he shows him stabbing people, hitting them with pipes,
putting them in trunk of cars.
Right there, I would have stabbed all three of them,
like right in their chairs,
toom, tomb, tune, tune.
Sat next to him, watched the show,
and then gone on stage, like, nothing happened.
Like, Rambo style, like, slit this guy's throat,
slip this guy's throat,
and stab this guy in the heart and just sit there
and listen to all three of them,
garble on their blue.
blood.
Fun stuff.
How would you still be able to go on stage after that?
Oh, like nothing.
On the way of the stage, I wiped the knife on your shirt.
You know what I'm saying?
And then I walk out of there with the knife and toss it off Laurel Canyon.
Let the dogs find it.
Good luck, bitch.
I'll bury that thing so fucking deep.
But it's like I've always respected the arts.
I don't know why.
Like, yeah.
I don't know why.
Have you got something to show me and I go, I'm going to keep my mind shut.
I'm not going to heckle you.
I'm not going to yelp you.
I'm not going to write a bad review.
I'm going to suck it in for a month and think about what the fuck I just saw.
Yeah.
Trust me, I've seen some bad shit in Hollywood.
Right or wrong.
You see some bad shit that you're sitting there feeling bad for the person, like looking up psychiatric services.
Like, this is fucked.
up that this guy invited us down here and he's thinking he's going to go away with this
music how bad of music have you seen oh dude have you sat there and said i don't know whether
i should go up there hit him with the guitar or take the guitar and teach him how to fuck at least get
something out of them old mcdonald how to farm anything is better than what the fuck they're
playing up there's true yeah i'm seeing a lot of shitty acts and but you know i i'm the same way in the
that I always give people respect.
And dude,
I never once,
even in today's age of like the internet and shit like that,
like I'm not one of those to fucking go on and talk shit about this band
because I don't like this guy.
Like,
you know what I mean?
Like how that happens nowadays and shit like that.
Like, dude,
I've never,
if I don't like them,
I don't like them.
Like that's it.
It ends there.
Like,
I'm not gonna,
what am I going to do?
You know what I mean?
Start a little fucking thread.
Yeah,
let alone like throw shit at people or or do stuff.
I remember.
I remember one of the early tours when we were out with Twisted and we were opening for them, the whole fucking floor would turn around and just have their middle finger at us, just flipping us off.
Jesus.
Our entire set.
Like, imagine walking out.
Just because you're the opener, people would just turn around and just be standing like this.
And you're playing.
You're up there doing your thing.
And that's all you're looking at is all these fucking middle fingers at you, man.
It's fucking brutal some of those early
fucking tours, you know.
I remember the first tour
that we did together, which was what
almost 20 years ago or whatever, I witnessed
like this dude's band get totally
shit on by one of the other
bands that we're
all touring with and stuff. And that was like on
a nightly basis. Almost that was
fucking brutal. So we were
like the, it was a three
band bill. So at the time
I was in the first band,
the opening band. And then
You guys were second.
And then there was a headliner, and the headliner were just complete dicks to us.
And just, you know, every chance they could tried to fucking keep our money, tried to just, just everything.
And we were pretty green back then.
We didn't know a lot of shit.
And, you know, you get taken advantage of and all that crap.
But, yeah, it was fucking, those are crazy days, my.
Brutal.
That's when we were traveling in a fucking Ford Explorer, six guys.
Six guys cross country across the U.S.
several times over in a Ford Explorer.
Are there six seats in a Ford Explorer?
No.
No.
You make it work.
Yeah.
No.
I was trying to do the math in my head.
I was like, did they have a big?
It's a fucking place in the back.
So there's five seats in a place in the back.
But you got to put luggage.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Yeah.
And fucking.
So you're back there crampled up.
Yep.
You need 15 chiropractice.
Yeah.
You got to stop with 18 massage parlors that don't give hand jobs.
Just to straighten out to fucking play the drug.
Pretty much, man.
It's a fucking nightmare.
It's brutal.
I lived in an office in Seattle for 125 a month, just like this.
Lived in this office.
No shower.
They had a shitter.
And, you know, the gym was like the YMCA, two blocks from here.
So if I wanted to shower, I would have to walk in there in the pretense I was going to work out.
And they had Q-tips in those days.
It was like, it wasn't a why.
Yeah.
It was a little nice.
So that blow dryers and gel.
Nice.
So I go on that to me.
You know what I'm saying?
The toilet paper was soft.
They had towels,
like a fucking...
So I lived in the office,
but I show and did my stuff at the gym.
It made me for a workout.
It made me at the back for an hour,
it made me go on the bike and lift weights.
And then I would go in the gym.
But it could be done.
You know, the sacrifices that you put into it
did,
even feel like sacrifices while you're doing it. Like if you look back, they don't feel like
sacrifices. It was like you were doing it the same reason why somebody would join a militia.
You know, they have a belief in something. They believe that the U.S. is evil. Let's start a
militia and you have that belief. You're blinded by this dumb faith. I've been astonished
for the last year and a half of the question.
is what makes you go forward with this career at the four-year mark when there's really
nothing going on and you got to sell it to your parents you got to sell it to yourself
and you're a barista you know you're a fucking barista and you're living off of tips and you hate your
job you hate everybody all you see yourself is on the stage yeah touring
and shaking your head and chick sucking your day.
Signing abortion fucking paperwork and shit.
While she's crying, you got to avoid it.
Here's a way of her.
While she's crying.
You got Bob Seeger on.
What's that song?
Bob Seeger wrote about being on the road again.
Yeah.
Being lonely.
While she's crying.
Yeah.
Here you are serving a double double latte.
There's some white guy that wants soy milk.
And you're looking at it.
I'm like, you know what?
If I had a guitar here, I'd bash it over your fucking skull.
All I want to do is play me.
There's nothing worse than that feeling of being in that I'm ready for, yeah.
And in your stupid mind, you're not even ready to work.
You're just ready for stardom.
You're ready for stardom.
You know what I'm saying?
You get that one check and there's a sale up like foot locker.
And you get yourself like a rock and roll shirt.
You sit in front of your mirror and shit.
and look at yourself and you're like, I'm going to make it.
And you're nowhere close to it.
You're nowhere close to it.
I remember not being able to hold jobs down because I would say,
oh, we have another couple of shows out of town.
Well, fuck, I'm going to have to quit this job and quit
and find another job when you come back and just doing shit like that.
It's like, well, you know, like you're saying,
why do we do it?
Yeah.
I remember going, like, doing this bar tour.
That's just really good dude.
Mexican dudes in Denver really helped me out a lot.
He was a hustler, you know.
There's some people in the business who,
and he would go to different bars and set up comedy nights,
and some of them gave him 200,
and some of them gave him 50,
but he always blow dry at his hair.
He'd have an entourage eight Mexicans with him,
and they all had the same haircut.
Fucking hilarious.
Even the girls all had the same haircut and shit.
You know me,
I did a thousand,
thousands of his fucking gigs.
Like he booked different gigs and different bars.
He's still at it.
Like if you look at his Facebook page, yeah.
Him and Lonnie the Midget.
He don't give a fuck.
That's his name.
Little Lonnie and him host.
Yeah.
And they're always doing some type of event,
low riders, high riders.
Fucking tremendous, man.
I don't even know what my point was.
I'm so fucking stone.
You were mentioning like,
like dreaming of someone's heck in your day.
Do you guys remember the first time, like, at a show, a girl, like, talked to you and he actually brought her back to the hotel?
Like, I would imagine that would be, like, a dream you never forget.
Yeah.
I mean, well, I remember the first time, and it's so it doesn't seem like a fucking big deal now.
But I remember the first time I got some girls, like, backstage and got naked in the dressing room and shit on the road.
Like, it was the first time we were out of L.A.
and we're fucking
so stupid now
but like
so we were
I think it was in San Francisco
actually
and this is I don't know
over 20 years ago
and we were standing outside the venue
looking at the poster
that was outside the venue
you know our poster and shit
and we're all green
and just taking pictures of this
and these two chicks are walking
on the sidewalk
and they're dressed like really like
like in business kind of you know
attire
and it was a blonde chick
and like a Hispanic chick.
And they're standing there
and they're looking at the poster as well
and they're like,
oh, is that you guys?
And we're like, yeah.
And what kind of music?
And we're telling them.
You know, it's like metal, whatever.
And they're like, oh, you know,
we might come back tonight.
And we're like, yeah, whatever.
So they split.
So that night, they end up fucking showing up
to the fucking gig.
And now they're dressing like their fucking,
you know, rock chick attire.
And so after the gig,
I remember the drummer.
and I walked down there and we were talking to them and we were like, do you guys want to come
backstage? And they're like, yeah, sure. So they come backstage and we had, you know,
fucking they had drinks and all that shit. And I think my drummer was like, so, you know,
who's going to get naked first? Kind of as a joke. But the fucking blonde chick is like,
fuck it, I'll do it. And she just starts fucking taking her clothes off and shit and gets completely
naked and then the other one does and I remember I had those fucking disposable cameras at the time
remember those fucking old school disposable ones and I remember like I was so fucking blown away that
we had naked chicks in our dressing room you know out of town on tour and I was taking pictures
and shit and there were mirrors like all the way around the dressing room when I developed
the pictures you could see like just my stupid ass face and the reflection of all the mirrors
dude holding this fucking disposable
camera and shit you know
but that was like the first
you know time that that happened to me so yeah
I still remember that
you know disposal cameras and phone cards
oh yeah dude yeah that was how he toured
back then you know until you stayed in contact
with yeah those fucking phone cards
used to kill me dog they fucking ripped you
off unless you went to like Kroger
and they
give you minutes yeah
those bodega ones shit
Oh, dude, those were a scam.
Those bodega ones were a fucking scam.
Yeah.
And they would say 10,000 minutes or whatever.
You're lucky if you get a fucking have a phone call out of it, dude.
Every call is four minutes.
Even if the person don't pick up.
You're like, what's the phone?
Even if the dude hits the answer machine, you have 36 minutes.
I just had 40 fucking minutes.
Nobody talked to nobody.
You mother is fuck.
Dude, I remember back then, like, we played a show in Cleveland.
And we ended up, it was one of those classic things where you end up staying at a friend's house like right after the show.
So I go, hey, I'm going to make a phone call.
I'm going to call my, my girl at the time or whatever, had a phone card.
And he goes, dude, don't, don't walk like anywhere around here.
I was like, how bad it could be.
Cleveland?
Yeah.
It's one in the morning, two in the morning.
I'm just going to make a phone call.
I'm at, I'm at this like little tienda at the corner, right?
and I'm on
I'm on a pay phone
and sure enough
within like two minutes
people started throwing
fucking bottles
driving by throwing bottles
at me while I'm on the phone
and I was like
I better I better go
that's a bad idea
you have one minute
fuck that
dude yeah
I better go
dude yeah
the road
the road is an interesting place
you learn
I said a couple months
ago on the podcast
once you put
yourself out
to the universe
as a musician, a comedian, a drummer, and a band,
once you put it out there, you commit fully,
the universe pays you little by little.
It shows you signals to keep you alive.
It may show you a bed for three nights
in somebody's basement.
You know, it's so weird that I had a friend
that owned the comedy club.
After I had played this club a few times,
we became kind of friends.
And he would tell me,
You want to come up this week.
You can eat.
And one of his friends was a woman.
One of the friends in the circle was a woman.
And one night went to their house to eat.
And she's like, why don't you leave?
It was like Tony Montana.
I'm moving.
The guy goes down to Columbia and talks to him.
And the guy tells him to leave Pacino with him.
She goes, why don't you leave your friend here with him?
He could sleep downstairs.
He was a warm car.
Us have a landscape in business.
And he could help.
me landscaping the daytime and that night he could do comedy locally and i was like sure and he's
like that'd be a great idea because it's on my couch it's a pain he asked and first three nights it worked
out great the next morning one morning i wake up i hear the deer open the door open up she would
get in bed open my legs suck my pipe and then she'd go upstairs and make breakfast with the kids
like nothing happened this went on every time i slept there she wouldn't say a word about it
Nice.
Come downstairs, take my dick out, sucking like a savage.
I'd squirt.
She was going through a divorce.
Nobody'd do nothing.
Wow.
I'd go upstairs, eat breakfast, mingle with the kids.
Nice.
One of the kids hit me up about four years ago on Facebook.
How you doing?
Oh, shit.
I'm all grown up now.
What'd you do to my mother in the basement?
Did you respond?
It was fucking crazy.
Yeah.
That really was crazy.
Yeah.
And we stayed friends.
I remember being at her house when I auditioned for the soprano the first time.
And her helping me with the lines and me taking a bus the next day to New York.
Wow.
She was a great lady.
Just a great awe.
If I was 38, 35, she had to be 46, still looking good.
Nice.
But it was weird.
She'd come down.
The door would creep open like I was sleeping at Cosby's house.
She would pull out the blanket, take out.
got the hammer.
And I had already banged one ounce and had that comity taste of it.
She didn't give a fuck.
She'd suck that pipe dry again.
She wouldn't even say good morning.
She wouldn't even talk.
Just go right to it.
Just suck it.
Put it back like where it was.
Cool.
Drink the milk of debt on the way up the stairs.
And then cook breakfast for the kids.
Hi.
Perfect.
And then some days I go lay right.
And she never, ever said nothing to me.
Did you pretend like you were asleep?
Or did he like...
I was a molested child.
I go over here to this Jank Sun foot salon.
The massage joint, this Fang Chun,
they give you a great massage.
I take my wife there.
It's guys and girls,
but the girl that works there is kind of cute.
She's like a heavy lifter.
Last night I took a nap.
I woke up my body hurt.
I said, let me go down to Fang June
and get the $40 special.
She sticks her toes in my ass,
and then she moves her knees.
Yeah.
But she purposes.
He sticks her toes in my ass.
Now, I could down 911 and send her to the jail.
Oh, it's a big deal.
You know what I'm saying?
She feels me up.
She pulls my underwear down in the back.
And she rubbed me on these down halfway.
Nice.
And she rubs my back and my ass cheeks.
Sometimes I, and she gets close to my asshole.
Yeah.
That's part of the Chinese culture.
They want to stick a finger up your ass to loosen you up.
I wouldn't down 911.
I just hope my asser wouldn't be dirty.
You know what I'm saying?
I don't want to be walking around with Cuban stink finger on him.
The rest of the day.
And then rub it on somebody's neck.
And then Lee walks in.
And then he brought me there once and didn't tell me.
He just told me to bring shorts.
I took him there one time.
It's tremendous for $40.
Did you like it, Lee?
It was good, but it was interesting doing it next to him because I could hear him.
And then my guy was going kind of hard on me, but I know I couldn't say anything because he would have tortured me.
And then we, like, we fell asleep outside.
getting the feet done because they do the feet
and I didn't think I was going to be into it
especially because it was a guy would it felt good
did anyone stick their toes in your
ass no no no luckily the guy I get atop I always
get her yeah my name is Jesse I always get I call
first and I go is Jesse available
and she'll tell me exactly when they get there
come to 15 I stop what I'm doing I shoot right over there
I go there like twice a month
I fucking tip her heavy and she's phenomenal
She rips my shoulders apart.
Damn.
She rips my feet apart.
They got a lunchtime special.
From 12 to 3, you go in there, give him a 20.
You give that little Chinese guy a 5 before the party even starts.
Before he touches, you give him a 5.
They put your feet in hot water.
They rub your shoulders.
They rub your neck.
They do a bunch of stuff.
That's why my hair was fucked up last night.
Oh.
Because they massaged your scout.
Oh, dude, that's the best feeling, man.
They do your hands.
They pull knuckles out.
Oh, yeah.
This is for 40 bucks?
For 20.
Oh, this for the special.
Right now, well, right up the corner.
Right across the feet of Bank of America.
Okay.
There's a pizza place in there.
There's a luncheonette.
Yeah.
There's a toenail place, a Korean note toenail place.
And there's that.
It says massage.
It's not a hand job place.
Yeah.
All the other ones are like it.
I put in my handbook.
And then there's a Thai place.
There's a Thai massage place and I heard they're real.
But the chicks are brutal.
They're really brown.
They look weird.
They look like nobody fed them in a year.
I went in there one day and I'm like, you're too skinny to give me a fucking massage.
You weigh 85 pounds.
They got it by the waist with a chain.
I think that would have been your first clue.
That would have been like clue number one.
They had like a few of them shit.
Chain to the fucking rim.
tired. No, I like that
San Joon. I've been going over there for like
two years. Damn. When I saw the
happy hour for 20, I was like, you know, and then
somebody told me, somebody referred me to them
five years ago. They said,
going there, they're good. They were a jihitsu
guy. No, I really
like it. Shit, I'm I have to check that out, Lee.
A chair of death. They break your neck.
They do everything over there.
They do whatever you need. You know what I'm saying?
My back is so fucked up right now.
Yeah. You should go do the special
later, dude. My back is
Do a 40-minute special ask for
Jesse. She's not there on Wednesdays.
On Wednesdays, you're fucked.
You got a bunch of guys that look like
extras in the Bruce Lee movies.
There's a guy in there that looks like
the boss and the big boss.
Except he doesn't have the cigarette.
He looks just like the big boss
and the big boss. Anyway.
God damn, man.
I mean, how much do you guys do to take care of yourself?
Because it can't be easy going on stage
30 nights and, like, 30 nights.
It's like, though.
not much
we don't do much
I try and do as much cardio
when I'm home as I can
walk in whatever I can
but I mean on the road it's
it's it's a little tougher on the road
but I stretch a fuckload
before we even go on just to kind of help me
but I still came back home
from the last tour with a fucked up back
the first time I've ever
ever in my life had a fucked up back
ever it sucks
you know those long
those long
sitting.
I can't sit that long, though.
Yeah.
I used to be able to sit that long.
Those days are done.
That, that,
Doug got shot, Jack.
Yeah.
Even when I'm sitting right now.
Even when I'm sitting right.
Yeah.
I got to put a timer on.
You got to get up and fucking,
yeah, because it fucks.
Yeah.
If not, if none, I get too stuck.
Yeah.
I get a fucking, I have a degenerative
disc, and it just,
it acts up, flares up from time to time.
I also can't sit.
it for very long because I feel that pressure just fucking getting right in there.
And when you look down at the computer, that adds more pressure.
Like if you're typing into it, I didn't notice.
Somebody read me to riot acts, it's really interesting.
Now, I have the bad.
No, fucking.
Yeah, no, dude.
It's different, man.
One thing about you that I really liked that every musician should do.
I mean, Mick Jagger leaks, but he's Mick Jagger,
but he leaks his rehearsal tapes by himself, like his dance dance.
Yeah, yeah.
And him lifting weights and doing fucking kettlebells at 73.
And there's this train.
It's like this 23-year-old that's topless and shit.
Mick Jagger don't fuck around.
He's whipping that bitch.
You know what I'm saying?
He doesn't have no Bruce Lee extras training him, man.
There's real people there.
But it's so weird how what the fuck was like?
How you connected with social media.
You've taken off.
Ever since you did the podcast and I started following you,
you are fantastic at it.
Thanks, man.
And not like in a shitty way, like chicks with tits.
And let's face it, that's what you want to see from a fucking rock star.
I don't want to see pictures of kids.
Are you a church?
you were a bunch of guys how i was sober no it's sober october you have to give me the illusion
that you're living this life yeah well it it i mean thanks to you guys man that's when it i really
kind of started you know getting um a little bit more in touch with that um because after the
first time i was on was when i just started to get fucking people starting hit me up like left and right
And I was like, man, I need to like fucking need to get on this thing.
Because it's a different fucking age now than before.
You know, we we didn't grow up with with that.
We didn't have that.
So I've been sort of having to learn how to fucking use it, you know, and how to.
You grew up with a picture of Al on your wall.
Yeah.
Today, if I fucking bug out enough on Twitter, eventually he'll crack and tell me to go fuck myself.
Yeah.
Because first they start saying hello to you
Like you're a nice person
You take them for granted
And then they go you know what
You're a suss fuck you
You piece of shit
And you go fuck you too cock sucker
And that makes their world
Yes
That makes their world
That they got you pissed off
And you blocked
They blocked you
Right
You really got you're done
You're a main guy of the ball
I got blocked by Gene Simmons
Today
I told them the wig
Was a Fugazi
That sounds like a typical
day at rehearsal. No, but it really is that now
the control the fan has.
Yeah. And the control that you have over that fan
as a musician. You know, Ozzy Osbourne couldn't tweet.
Van Halen didn't tweet. When those five junkies
from Boston took over the country in the mid-70s,
they didn't tweet. They made their bones in Worcester
and all those fucking hellholds all over Boston. And they became
who they were could you imagine if you could tweet then to use the videos wow you know your
app there was no MTV in 75 right TV didn't come around to what 81 801 802
81 yeah video killed the radio star mm-hmm what the fuck no you know but last night I had
precious time on I had precious time on I came over here last night we smoked the
grandma weed me and Lee just to get the month started off right this
Take the edge off.
Yeah, because I was with the family all there with the church choir.
Damn.
Then I fell asleep and I woke up and I went and got a massage at the gin-gin place.
The way back, I go, Lee meet me over at the fucking office at Sue fucking grandma.
Some bubble-licious to get the weed going.
Lee asked me, he calls me, I go, Lee, were you high this morning?
He goes, yeah.
Where are you high?
I go, not really.
I just went home and I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a banana, two apples.
Just taking bong hits with Joey's crazy.
Like when I think I'm done, like there's no way I can take another bong hit.
We didn't stop.
He said we had two more.
I was like, what are you talking?
We went right through a gram of 25% weed.
Oh my God.
Me and him, a gram straight.
Back for back.
Like we were playing checkers.
Like we're playing war.
What is that battle?
B-52.
You son said a battle.
Yeah, we played battleship bonged last night.
Wow.
We just went back in forward until we couldn't see.
I drove in.
me was sleeping i thought they were sleeping and then they woke up with belly aches and shit i'm high
as fuck so did you did you guys cut out the edibles yes yeah no more at all too intense
yeah you know you know once in a while yeah yeah yeah yeah it wasn't intense the way like
i think normal people think of intense because we were taking like a minimum of 1500 and that was a
light night.
Oh,
for like three years.
Deep deep.
For like three years?
Yeah.
You go home,
you wake up,
there's breadcrumbs
and you shoot all over your kitchen.
I still remember the fucking
the Pauly Shore.
Yeah,
Pauli Shore episode was too much.
And it was time to evolve.
I wanted to get better conversation
other people.
Sure.
It's tough for me to give you a star
and you and me.
And it's cute,
but you know what,
man,
we're adults.
Sure.
So it was a different direction.
I love when things evolve.
Yeah.
I don't want to see a show that stays the same forever.
I remember a kid's parent telling me one time when the last Led Zeppelin came out,
into the outdoor or whatever, we were at the house.
And the mother came in, and her husband was a jazz drummer, so she knew music.
And she goes, you know, I'm not crazy about Led Zeppelin.
But one thing about them is on all their albums, they have a different sound.
Like they showed up with a different sound
One different thing, you know
Yeah
And I believe it's the same
Whether it's podcasting, a TV show
Give me a different dimension
To let it grow in my mind
I thought it was just time
Plus the other business went out of business here
You gotta eat 80 things
For you to get high
I ain't got time to fill my stomach
With fucking jello dust
That fucking jello dust makes you shit
And you hide to your shit
it out the next morning. You wake up until you take the shit, you're high.
You take a shit. You're like, wow, I'm not high no more.
Your shit. It smells like the edibles, too. And it smells like other balls. And it clogs everything up.
Everything had jello on it. I had more jello in my system. You can't eat the cookies.
That's diabetes. You can't eat, you know. They're just giving your diabetes. You're eating
cookies and brownies. And so what you're trying to strive for is the smallest thing I could give you.
with the strongest potency, you know.
They had the spray.
The spray was pretty good.
A thousand.
Then they're spraying it like bonaca.
Like you got bad breath.
And next thing you know, you're hammered.
It was great.
I'm just, I'm just 55.
I'm left to something new.
You know, I'm trying to do good things.
What about the drinks?
Have you done the drinks?
Don't like them.
Yeah.
Don't like them.
I don't.
I'm very old school when it comes to that.
I still enjoy the process of cutting it.
You know, one thing this new narco show tells you is how the Mexicans were smuggling brown marijuana into the country.
They had control of it.
But this guy came up with a way to eliminate the male seeds from the female seed to make it stronger.
So he goes, show me a kilo of Europe weed.
And the guy took out like a suitcase.
And he goes, this is a kilo of our weed.
We could smuggle more, you know.
And I still remember being a kid in Sinsamedia.
Team Simea.
That was it, Sinsemia.
But then Bob Marley showed up with fucking Ragi and five black dudes that were dreadlocks.
And he had a weed called Lams Bread.
So now the Jamaicans were, so our part of the country, we had more brown, Mexican wheat.
No, we had more Colombian gold and Panama Red and lambsbred.
then the West Coast.
The West Coast had the Mexican brown and the Sinsomia,
and then to make real money,
the Sonsomia started crossing over.
We started seeing greenweed
instead of brownish, reddish, goldish weed.
And that was just a complete different.
But even when you got like Colombian gold,
it had a lot of seeds in it.
If you bought an eighth of it, it was all seeds.
That's why when you buy old vinyl,
when you open it up a seed or four,
out because that's how you cleaned your weed in the 70s and 60s.
You bought the album.
You took the album out.
You put it out.
And then as you rolled the joint, you rolled it on the thing.
The seeds would go to the middle of the album.
You would scrape the weed and roll a joint.
So that's what people use their albums for to fucking clean the weed out.
Wow.
That's a fucking amazing process.
Nice.
Wow.
We changed.
What about, what do you guys know about that CBD?
Oil.
I love it.
Yeah.
I love it.
I buy this one brand.
And what I do is, listen, I know this right knee is gone.
So after your shows, before your shows, before you put the knee pads on, you know, you go to, right now when we leave here, get in your car and get on Tahaanga, and just go straight.
And go straight to Ventura and make a left on Ventura.
there's a place called urban trees.
And you go in there and it comes in a bottle.
And you even, just like hand oil.
It's like lotion.
It has pain reliever.
And I put it on my knees.
Sometimes if I'm squatting, I put it on my legs on my arms.
Plus, I've been doing shoulder therapy on my own.
So I push my hands to rub it into my shoulders every morning.
Because that's what I have.
Wow.
I jacked my shoulders over the years.
So I do use.
a lot of CBD, the cream.
Yeah. And I rubbed it into my wife's back
last night. She didn't complain.
And it's pain reliever. And you feel
it. You feel it. Yeah. They have
a roll on too.
Because I need something from my back, man.
Yeah. And you get some of those girls
on the road to give you a little
CBD rub. And they
even have CBD or that you rub on
your clit. And it makes a woman's
pussy just go fucking bananas.
Just squirt fucking
tequila sunrises in your face.
insane. Have you used that, Lee?
No, I haven't used that one. I do have a buddy
who has cerebral palsy and he says
he can't live without it.
Is he doing the oil?
He's probably doing the drops. He has a roll on too.
He has a roll on for like if
if his joints ever hurt.
I think the roll on probably
work good for me.
I do the drops and the vape and the vape
the vape actually helps
throughout the day. You know what I mean?
The oil I usually do it
at night and you know, I get
good night's rest and back doesn't hurt as much it still hurts i mean the pain's still there but i mean
it's just because i haven't i'm curious to see a paraproctor or anything never tried when i go home
i spray the CBD without the THC which isn't as efficient it should have a little bit of
THC to drive it to yourselves or another places that you get that i don't know if this is exactly
the terminology people don't listen to me but i do it and i feel a lot of
better in the morning i felt like shit yesterday yeah i went to jih Tzu friday and saturday back to back and
i worked out at home thursday and i felt like shit yesterday and i got worse throughout the day
body aches and shit yeah just you saw you're 55 years old there's not really much testosterone
you saw now is it how is it um is it uh the one that has some t hc in it is it is it are there
different levels of how much
THC they put in there?
Yes.
Yes.
So you can get the one with the least.
Yeah.
Just to make the body aches.
You're on stage.
You're really playing.
Yeah.
Take the CBD or rubbing on your fingers for your guitar.
Yeah.
I feel like my joints.
Yeah.
Is where I start to feel it sometimes.
And then my fucking lower back.
Absolutely.
You're on stage doing your thing, shaking your head.
Every time you shake your head, that's three seconds off your life.
You're running your fucking head.
Yeah.
You might as well have leave tackle you.
You know what I'm saying?
You ever see his quarterback?
He's about to throw the ball.
And he gets head to this.
You do this shit 22 times.
Anything happens to you head.
You wake up in the morning.
It's like, what the fuck happened to me last night?
I went to Disneyland.
I saved the $144.
That's way fucking.
Yeah, I got to try that.
That's way fucking better than eating pills and fucking up your organs and shit.
I got to try that.
What's the name of that place you said?
Right now.
It's called Herb.
been trees. They open to Hunga and Ventura. They're open from 8 to 10. And while you're there,
you might as well go down the corner. You really want to rock your world from one brother to another?
Yeah. You park right there and then you get out and you walk 30 yards to a place called
U.S. cryotherapy. And tell them to freeze your hands for three minutes. Yeah. And loosen it up.
Damn.
And if it works for you, then come back again before the tour starts.
Nice.
And go in the chamber for three minutes.
Shit.
It's a cryo chamber?
Cryo chamber.
Wow.
With your head for three minutes.
Fucking awesome.
Because right now you guys are going to be doing some heavy playing.
So you want your body to recover.
Yeah.
It's tough.
And thank God, God, knock on wood, you don't drink alcohol.
Yeah.
Thank God you take care of yourself because alcohol is the one that really gets you on the road.
Yeah.
That's what really gets you out.
It kills you, man.
Four nights.
it's not the road it's not you doing what you love it's the after yeah the four hours
asleep the drinking the no breakfast yeah man i couldn't i couldn't fucking i mean you know because
i've never drank i've never done anything i can't imagine what it's like you know and i see
it i mean everyone around us you know fucking does shit and i'm just like man that's got to be i'm
feeling just because of my age you know you just you know you just you
don't feel like you did in your 20s anymore.
So now add that shit on top of it, I can't fucking imagine, dude.
The headache?
You know, I definitely can't do that.
Like, I'm fucking a hangover and shit.
I smell like feet.
Like, if I smell somebody's feet and the windows are closed and shit, I'll fucking get sick if I'm hung over.
Yeah, dude, the tour bus is no, you don't open windows.
Yeah.
No, no, no.
People are shit in the bathroom.
I should say, some of these shit's in the bus bathroom.
Or in the bunk.
On the bunk.
On the bunk.
Yeah, so I don't like none of that shit.
I don't want to say, I'm at an age.
You had till 30 to get me on a bus.
I did, when I was in prison, I had a bus ride with handcuffs on,
everybody had orange suits and slippers.
You couldn't talk.
I like all that shit.
It's a fun little ride.
But after 30, I don't want to be on the bus with stinky men and shit like this.
Where's this tour start?
San Francisco.
Wednesday, this Wednesday is 21st, San Francisco at the Warfield.
And it goes till when?
Until December 21st.
What's the website?
ministry band.com.
You motherfucker's ready to rock.
Fuck, yeah.
I'm ready, man.
I got to get him on here one of these days, man.
You come back with the whole fucking tribe.
For sure.
For sure, man.
We'll do a show in here.
We'll blow up the building.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
What, uh, how long is this tour go to?
One month, uh, November 21st to December 21st.
And then LA, hopefully you guys can come out.
What's your day?
Fonda, December 20th and December 21st.
And that's on the Fonda.
fine is it that's on hollywood boulevard it's it's close to the palladium okay it's right it's
right like a few blocks from the palladium it's a nice place very nice place
nice white people yeah they don't need that yeah they're gonna they're not gonna know what the
fuck hit them man they don't need that whole woman's bathroom is gonna belamydia bill it's gonna be
as soon as you walk in it's a japanese black light and shit in there dude like to see the spray
everything god that's clemedia STB what's that site that you get and you swipe
Tinder.
Tinderville.
No, Tinder.
That's a fit of disease.
Tendervis.
That's from getting pussy on Tinderville.
Whatever the fucking call it.
Yeah, man.
You guys got to come down for those shows, man.
Yeah, that would be awesome.
I love to come down.
I get back to New York on the 19th.
Okay, cool, man.
And I'll come down to one of the shows to say hello and see what's going on.
That'd be great.
That'd be great, man.
See my boy fucking do his thing.
Look at him.
He looks like a young Kim Thial.
He gets all the time, dude.
All the fucking time.
I think you're dealing with Joy Banana?
Do you think I would have you on the show?
I want people to go on YouTube.
That's Kim Thay-ow.
He went on fucking steroids.
It's that Kim or Kim Fields.
So the last, real quick, the last U.S. tour that we did, which was the beginning
of the year, we were in Canada.
I forget where we were.
It might have been, I think it was, it might have been Toronto.
It might have been Vancouver.
I'm not too sure.
But we were at this bar next door, right?
hanging with some people and
you know
some girl and her husband
tell me you know you remind me of you
remind me of uh Kim Thale from
a Soundgarden and I go
That's funny I go that's that's my dad
That's my dad and she's like shut up
Fuck no that's like that I go
That's my dad and I had her convinced that
You know Al and and my dad
Kim were like friends from back in the
Lollapalooza days and
And that's how he got in the band.
And I didn't have that opportunity.
Something happened in between and I didn't have that time to tell her that I was joking.
And they fucking bought it.
And they thought that I, that that was that my dad, the entire fucking night.
One night.
Then Kim Thayette was about to go on the plane.
He's in Minneapolis.
His aunt died.
Oh, shit.
Some fucking couple comes up to him and said, we met your son at a fucking bar.
whatever.
That's how that I usually.
That's what's going to happen.
Kim Thielandah, I ain't bothering nobody.
He's at a fucking airport man in his own business.
Sitting in coach.
You don't want nobody to know it's him.
And some people are going to call him.
We made your son.
We saw your son.
What fucking son?
I got no son.
My son's got missing an ear.
He's at home right now.
He's running the Institute.
He's running the Institute.
No wonder you look so familiar.
Yeah.
I want to thank you.
both you guys for coming on. Always a pleasure.
Thanks for having us. Keep doing what you're doing. Don't forget on it, Black Friday
sale. It's that time of the year, bitches. It starts Thanksgiving, November 22nd.
The biggest fucking sale of the year. Nothing is off limits, including the number one
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Listen, you want to make 2019 the best year of your life by stocking up now, whether it's
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If you light something, don't forget about your uncle Joey.
Slash in.
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Don't just sit there
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Anyway,
on it.com
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Church.
Do your thing,
motherfuckers.
Don't forget.
Also, it's Thanksgiving
Day.
You don't want to sit there
with your fucking feet.
Family watching football
like a fucking moron.
You don't want to bet the game.
You got to bet the game.
What the fuck?
Bet a little bit.
You don't want to place a bet,
but you're afraid.
I got the wrong team.
That's Lee.
He's always got the wrong team.
You still sit in.
and putting them bets.
This Thanksgiving, it's finally possible.
Can't give up.
For you to get 100% refund on your bet if you lose it.
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You literally cannot lose with this.
Only Lee can lose with this.
It's no risk or gravy.
It's impossible.
If we bets this game, the stadium will fall down.
Isis a strike.
Something will happen.
This is the kiss of death next to me.
Well, now I can't bet it.
No, please.
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Unless your sports book is offering something like this, and they're not.
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I want to thank my man Sin.
I want to thank my man, Caesar,
Caesar, aka Kim Thay Allen Heath.
I want to thank my man
the Jew killer.
The Christ killer. It don't matter.
I like Jews. Jew killer, Christ killer.
What's the difference?
And I want to thank you guys for being family.
I want you to have a happy Thanksgiving.
We'll do another podcast this week.
Don't forget my booking on it.
Both shows this week are sold out.
Wednesday sold out in Irvine
and Friday night sold out in Irvine.
I want to thank you for the love always
and the support.
Anyway way you put it, you hear from us Wednesday morning tip top, Magoo ready to go.
All right.
Kick this fucking mule.
Have a great day.
Stay black.
We'll start your Monday on the right foot.
I want to be around to pick up the pieces when somebody breaks your heart.
Some somebody twice as smart as I.
somebody who will swear to be true as you used to do with me who leave you to learn that misery loves company wait and see
I want to be around to see how he does it when he breaks your heart two bits if
The puzzle fits so fine.
And that's when I'll discover that revenge is sweet.
As I sit there applauding from a front row seat,
when somebody breaks your heart like you.
