The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #642 - Mike Dolce

Episode Date: December 11, 2018

Mike Dolce, renowned fitness coach, nutrition expert, and author, returns to the Church of What's Happening Now to join Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio.  This podcast is brought to you by: Hims - Go to ForHims.com/joey for a trial month of everything you need to keep your hair - for just $5. 23andme.com - 23andMe is a DNA testing service that can offer you insights on to how your DNA can influence your weight, sleep quality and much more. Order your 23andMe health and ancestry kit at 23andMe.com/church before December 25th for a special discount.    Recorded live on 12/11/2018.
    

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Kick this motherfucker meal. Oh shit. We're going in with a deep one for you on a Tuesday morning. Mike Doche. What's the Christ Killer in Hanukkah? Been for so long, it's not true. And Uncle Joey, are you fucking kidding me or what?

Mike Doche, what make you move back to Jersey? The beach, man. Gotta be at the beach, got to be near the water. I want to raise my kids the way I grew up. Great to see you. Good to see you, my man. You blew my mind tonight when you said you had moved back to Jersey. You left the whole Vegas scene.

You left it behind and moved on. That's it. That's it, man. You know, Vegas was, I love Vegas. You know, had a great time in Vegas. How were you in Vegas for? Eight years. Okay.

Eight years, you know. And still have, still have, you know, reach in Vegas. Still have a couple things over there. But East Coast now, that's the home base. That's HQ. That's the setup. Very happy. Happy to be back.

And you're digging it is your first winter back. First winter, I'm pumped, man. Pumped, I'm going to fucking shovel. I'm going to shovel everybody's walkways, you know, like that type of energy, you know. How many winters do you think you're going to do that for? One. I'm getting a snowblower next winter. How old are you?

You have girls? I have two little girls, two daughters. How old? Three and a half and just turned two. Oh, yeah. You're at that thing where. Page, man. Come on.

Get them home. Ice skating on real, real rinks. You know, real lakes. Yeah. I had to go to an 830 fucking song. thing this morning at the school assembly the fucking line was like studio 54 so i went in to read her the book first for the first half hour and then my wife went in and snagged the chair and i had to sit there to four grades and i'm like why am i doing this in my life because you're awesome because you need

to do this shit this is what it's all about that's it that's what it's what it's about and i had shit to do and the whole thing like well you know what i ain't got shit to do yeah i really have that's what you have to That's it. What's better than that? And you always think, ah, maybe I'm not doing good as a dad. You know, maybe I'm not doing it right or whatever. Yeah. And that's why I try to go to all those things. So I didn't feel too good.

I'm like, you know what? I'm not going to go to fucking Muay Thai class. Okay. And I end up going. And I had a great time, you know. I try to always go to something. Yeah. And that's great to see when a guy like you finally goes, you know what?

My career could go to this place and this place. But you know what? Out of respect to my family, I want to go back to the roots. Yeah. You know, and I think about it a little time, I just got no roots left. Yeah. Northern New Jersey, where I came from, I don't think, you know, I see the traffic here.

Yeah. Oh, man. Traffic in northern New Jersey headed by Lincoln Tunnel. That's where I'm from. Are you fucking crazy? It's so much better, though. I sat in traffic on the turnpike leaving the airport. It was so much better than L.A. traffic.

It was because it was cold and it was dark, you know, and it was grainy. It was beautiful. I really enjoyed it. You're flying to Newark. You get off. You drive 10 minutes. Also, you smell. You smell in the airport, man.

You smell fucking oils and fucking. Yeah. You just smell. Fire somewhere. And that hour drive, you smell so many different fucking odors. And you know, like you said, I never knew Delaware was the cancer capital of the country. Yeah. It's always, I always rank very highly not to bash on Delaware, but that was a long end.

That really surprised. That doesn't surprise me because everything goes down. Yeah. And Delaware sticks out a little bit. So it probably just gets caught there. Or the Malook. Oh, the Maloos gets caught in fucking Delaware. Dingleberry.

That's crazy. But no, man, that's great that you took your family. Yeah. You know, I got a couple things cooking. And then I have to obviously sit down and say to myself, what do I really want to do? Yeah. You know. Well, you know right now what you really want to do.

You know, I think you all carry that. It's in you, right? You know, it's pointing you in that direction anyway. You know, and there's some things you have to do. Well, you have to work. You want to stay as relevant as you can. You want to keep doing the practice. There's a lot of things you need to do.

Yeah. I like going on the road. Yeah. But I also like staying at home. You know, I would love for a show to get picked up or whatever. But I know I've been here for 20 years and I know how many stars have to be aligned. Yeah. Just perfectly for your show.

Funny thing to ever get picked up. So I don't really put sweat into it. Sure. I've seen people walk around here with gloves and smack people in the face. I've seen people get deals and their lives chains and all of a sudden nothing happened. And now you've got to eat shit in front of these guys because you're acting like a fucking asshole. Yep. You know, you're acting like a fucking asshole for eight months while your show is getting developed.

The network didn't pick it up. Now you've got to walk in front of the same people. How awesome is that? Yeah. Oh, what's up, John? So you better be good to the people on the way up because you're going to see the same motherfuckers on the way down. That's true. That's true.

You know, my world is just an opportunity. I got an idea. I sold it. If they do it, they do it. If not, Saint-Lavi, I already know the fucking drill. Because that means I got to go to work. Yeah. Remember, that means they got to go to work.

You got what you asked for, right? And that's Fox work. That's 12-hour days. It's a multi-cam. Yep, yeah. It's the whole thing. But it's work. Yeah.

It's work. It's beautiful, though. All of a sudden you start missing the airport. Man, I miss L.A. X. The Fox every day and eating this food. You know, you don't look at things for what they are. So I'm just waiting here on whatever and then I have to decide. She's five.

Yeah. You know, I don't know. I'm taking every day. This is it. This has been one of these things where the ride has been crazy. I could see myself moving back to Jersey. Yeah. But a lot of ways I can't.

I don't think I can do the winters. What was the last time you were there? November 8th. And where'd you stay? Northern New Jersey. You stay at a house and a... No, I stay in a hotel. I take the ferry into the city.

I worked the city. But I stay in the Northern New Jersey side. It's easier for me. Sure. I get to see my buddies. I go to the cemetery. I go to all my spots, my Chinese, my Rudy's clam bar.

I get to go to fucking get a Cuban plate. And it's done. I don't have to wake up in the city and drop $40 for a cheese omelet. Yeah. At a cool, you know, I just, New York is too much for me now at this age. Yeah.

It's too fast for me. So it is. It is too fast. I'm just thinking about getting you down. want to get you down this short so 45 minute train ride hop right on long ranch pop right up you're right and say i'm gonna say it's when and i keep saying marlborough there were 34 35 sure it's gorgeous that gold's a friend lived there whenever i would do calmly i would stay there and i i remember driving there and going this is the perfect fucking location yeah because you're close enough to the

city but you're still in the suburbs and he had you ready for this he had a drive-through carvel What? Not even a mile from his house. That's bad news. So I would get hired and I'd tell him, listen, I got to go for a ride. This is when I was 400 pounds. You want to know why I was 400 pounds? Drive through Carvel.

Because I smoke a drive through Carvel. It's almost entrapment. That's amazing. I should be illegal. I used to get a double cone and a chocolate shake. Oh, shit. And I would eat the cone and then drink the shake on the way up. Like, I only went and got a shake.

Yeah. But I would get a, my favorite out of Carvel, I was a double comb, vanilla chocolate, colored sprinkles with whipped cream. Nice. How many times are you made that order? That was too smooth. Fucking 10 million times. 10 million times, I bet.

I was a Carvel kid. I would go to Carvel. There was a point in my life. Remember cookie pus? No, I wasn't a cookie pussy guy. That was that. Well, no, I never ate that because it was weird as shit. What was cookie pus?

Wasn't that the Carvel thing? It was like the always on TV and it was weird. It was kind of disturbing. You like the cakes, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The commercial was weird. How are you? This is Tom Carvel

Telling you that we have cakes For all occasions That's how it was, though, right? On WPIX. And the pictures It just pop up of Tom Carvel But that was a Carvel On 39th in Bregen Lane

Next to a bar called Listen to me, this is how much I knew of this place It's called the bottom of the barrel If you read the book Goodfeller The movie, the book to the movie That's what they hung out. The bottom of the barrel

And upstairs is food jockey pie kung fu the guy is still there food job pie kung fu the guy's 70 and he still teaches food job pie from the second floor oh how about that but that carvel in the corner we would walk up that hill first of all i come from the second hillyest place in the country where north berg and new jersey right before lincoln tunnel he park your cars man it's the second hilly is so if you walked up the hill you burnt those caps. Carvel wasn't shit. Yeah, right? You need two Carvels. If you walk up the cemetery hill and up the Project Hill, you're good.

You deserve that carvel. Well, isn't that what a double cone is? It's like a tea or something like it's one cone but two. Yeah. Two scoves. So I would have chocolate on one side. I was picturing two scoops. And vanilla on the other.

Fresh with whipped cream and colored sprinkles. And I would drive the truck like this. Look, we eat in the ice cream, fucking at the light, taking a sip from the chocolate shake. And you could just go right to sleep after all that ice cream? Oh, fuck yeah. At night with a joint. That was a coma.

That wasn't sleep. I grew up on that shit. A Carveau shake. Nice and thin. Chocolat eating. I love to. What do you think when you hear, like, fat guys talk about stuff they eat? Like, have you eaten that much ice cream in like an entire year?

He grew up with these dudes. Yeah. He grew up with dudes. I used to put down at dinners and fucking you ate pie at the diner with a string of hair on it. Yeah. You didn't give a fuck. You expected at least one. one hair on somebody's plan.

Oh, good Lord. Fuck, yeah. A French fry crinkled hair. A little fucking little busboy hair on this. I hope not. I prefer to be mine. How dare you give me shit about where I eat tacos? God damn it.

There's hair in your food? What was the other South Jersey ice cream spot? There's one that where's Hoffman's. Hoffman's is big. Hoffman's, but there's another one that day. That's an ice cream place. And then there was another place where I went to that you went in there, Like it's kids.

Like in Jersey, this could only happen in Jersey. Lee, you're going to die. You went in there. Like, we would go to play basketball or something as like a team, and the coach would take you there if you win. But there was always that thing that if you ate it, you got it for free. But if you didn't eat it, it costs you like $80. Yeah, like the challenge.

I'll take those odds. I had one of those friends one day that got really high. And right in front of me, he's like, I'm ordering the boat. And I'm like, though, you're not going to. he's like dog he ate three quarters of starting barfing it was like it was like keto overload it was whipped cream 300 cherries oh my god like that type of shit like was it really 300 cherries no i'm exaggerate like 20 cherries a container whipped cream like i still remember the nuts yeah uh how many scoops i forget what the scoops were was like a really big bowl yeah it was like a fuck

Guys you couldn't even like only an asshole would raise his hand. Yeah and he ended up paying it and it's and it was a rip off It was really like eight dollars of ice cream sure, but if you fucking ate it they were given to you for free It really was like It was like 78 77 79 15 bucks 15 dollars was a lot of fucking money right a lot of money Pants 15 dollars but it was like 20 maricino cherries I remember it was 20 can of whipped cream a thing of nuts you know fucking and he this guy went in there one day we were high and he said let's do it and I'm like I'm not fucking I knew it that like I don't like ice cream that much

yeah I like ice cream to a limit not you were double fist in a milkshake oh fuck yeah everyone has their limit right and those days there are levels to this you know people talk about the Dolce diet let's talk about the New Jersey diet Oh shit. Because I grew up on a motherfucking buttered roll and a can of Coke. What the fuck does that do to your body? Don't you have seven of a buttered roll?

A Kaiser roll. A Kaiser buttered roll. Which just think sugar. Just instead of like it being a roll, just picture like a maybe a couple teaspoons of sugar. Is that what that is? Yeah, it's all sugar.

It's all sugar. Very little if no fiber at all and a bunch of synthetic chemicals just mixed in there. And that one of the most disgusting. New Jersey thing. So you had a can of, wait this back up and say, you had a can of Coke with the,

with the scoops to sugar. Fuck, yeah. What do you have for breakfast? I have half a cup of oats, one cup of berries, two tablespoons of cheese seeds, two tablespoons of hemp seeds, a sprinkle of cinnamon,

almond butter or peanut butter depends on the day. Sometimes I'll do like a steel cut oats and I'll make love to it on the stove top. Sometimes it's oat brand just with the kettle pour it on top and out the door. But that's almost my every day. No eggs? Eggs I'll usually do second or third meal. You know, so like I have eggs pretty much every day, two to four whole eggs and, you know,

two to four yolks, let's say. I'd like to say four days a week. But that's usually the second meal with a lot of vegetables, you know. So I make like omelets and frittatas and quiches and just like poached eggs and like sauteed veggie or like as a cold salad. Do a lot of different things with that. That's typically my my second meal, like my 11 o'clock or so meal, not that I'm counting the hours like a bodybuilder.

I'm fucking hungry again. You know, car needs gas, boom, let's hit it and keep it going. You know, there may be like a piece of fish or something a little bit later. And then dinner time might be like a chili or a pasta or like a stir fry or like sushi even. My wife made like a pasta for a Zoolt. Oh, fuck. Fucking tremendous. That's only three points a cup.

Okay. Three points of cup. What's the points? Explain the points to me. The points is 42. I get 39 points a day. Okay. To consume.

To consume. Okay. Eggs are free. Okay. You can eat any of any eggs. Okay. And chicken breasts are free. Okay.

Okay. So I'll fucking go in the backyard and throw three grilled chicken breast on it. Yeah. Then I get white rice or black beans, Cuban style. And that's nine points because beans are free. Beans are free. So all you pay for is the rice. So I'll put a cup and a half of rice and put nine points.

And I can eat the beans. You're gaming the system. Aren't you? Who gives a fuck? Listen. The reason. reason why all those diets because I'm honest with you yeah like I read your bowie I read your book three times you have four dishes that I can't eat the

other ones don't you come close to me we can't talk the fuck I'm like quino don't don't even come by me key ma quino I don't like I don't like honey yeah I like your chili yeah there's one thing I didn't like in the chili I like your the spaghetti you make a yeah I stay a powerful stay up but the quinoa there's a lot of shit I'm going to tell you already I'm not going to eat. What about like stir fry, like salmon and rice and veg chopped up? No brown rice in my world. No.

It's never going to happen. Nor mine, white rice only. I'm Cuban. White rice. I'm a disrespect the thing. I can't. I can't. I do have a problem lately that you're not going to fucking believe.

Uh-oh. I got the fucking Italian thing. And I've been talking to different Italian people and they all time. And I'm wanting to Sebastian one night. And I told Sebastian, I go, Sebastian, you believe at this age, I can't eat cheese. I had a problem with my stomach for three or four months. Didn't know what it was, horrible farts. Yeah.

Thought I had cancer. You know, I saw George St. Pierre do an interview on Rogan. I'm like, if he's got cancer, fucking, can you imagine what's inside my ass? Jesus Christ. And I got scared. And I realized I went to the doctor and I started taking things away. I took away the edibles for a while. Yeah.

And still my stomach was bothered me. and I had that coconut flavor. What was the thing I got you? Oh, it was protein. Well, yeah, it was a protein drink. It was a low-carb. Something kitchen. It was low-carb, coconut vanilla.

Yeah, it was delicious. I was making that with milk in the morning. Coconut milk. With coconut milk. And something was, it wasn't, something was messing with me. And then my wife started getting, I don't know, out of nowhere. My wife says bringing home mozzarella balls from Gelsons. They have wet Mutzelow.

Says your daughter love those? No. She don't even fuck. She looks at it. Me? That's my thing. Gotcha. You eat it like a bowl of ice cream.

Like Mutsar balls. Yeah. Like I don't eat it all year when I'm here. When I go home, like the second or third day, I go to this little deli. Nobody even sees me going there. God sees you. And I get a prosciute with roasted peppers. Fuck.

And wet muts. Yeah. And I'm good. You get one a week? If I'm back in Jersey. Oh, okay. Back in Jersey. I would eat one a week.

You want to death. There's no, no, no. There's no. Yeah. But now I can't. I saw, I finally took the Mutz out of my life. I was like, ha.

The Muts was fucking killing me. How about that? So I started talking to more people. And then my buddy told him, he's a talent. He goes, dog. I had to stop when I was 50. Done. No more pizza.

And then another friend of mine. Then Sebastian told me that he got it with sauce. Okay. That he got the Italian thing that sauce now. You know, it's acidity. I wonder, so let's go deeper into the issue. What is the issue? The issue is it's a digestive issue more than anything.

But why? Is the body no longer able to break down the cheese? Is that what it is? Or is there's something mechanical going on possibly in the body? Maybe your stomach lining is worn out. Maybe there's an ulcer of sorts. Maybe it's a haital hernia possibly with a stomach. kind of sticks through the top of the diaphragm.

It could just be the kind of diluted or diminished or hindered the enzymes necessary to help break down the dairy. You know, maybe those are just, you know, too powerless. I've never liked milk. First of all, I don't like milk. Drinking it. I don't like drinking milk. What about chocolate milk? Uhoo.

You who, okay. I'm a Uhoo. It's not milk, it's water. Shut the fuck up. Who asked you, kind of something? You're from Boston. You don't know nothing about the UHU. Okay, I'm a UU.

Who choose? Shut the fuck. Copsucker and egg creams I love all this shit you who's egg creams yeah uh chocolate milk quick when I was a kid yeah that strawberry quick came out I can live with that for a while okay that never really was my fancy what about the Hershey syrup though oh that's tremendous yeah that's but I still need it with milk and a little club soda okay that's the only way I can have a little fucking half and a half in the old days I don't give a fuck yeah when I was lifting I was doing fucking behind the neck presses fuck I would get half and a half and a

And I would sit there with a container a half and half a thing of Hershey's and two bottles of club soda Yep, and I just keep fucking stirring and shit at night and watch TV and stay up all that on that fucking chocolate. Making gains, right? Yeah. Fuck to be that age again doing that shit. I used to have my own dough chay shake when I was 18. What was it? Me and my buddies were doing this five sets of six power lifting thing.

Yeah, done, love it. We would fucking get whole milk, 16 ounces, half a fucking, thing of ice cream, wheat germ, two or three or four. Because the barbarian brothers were around. Of course. So the barbarian brothers said that they ate 36 eggs every day. So that was our goal to eat 36 eggs every day. So every day we'd make protein shakes.

We're like 15 eggs in there. Cooked or not cooked? No, fucking raw like Rocky. You just mixing into the milkshay. That's why you can't digest dairy now. Fucking disgusting. Right. And nobody got big.

Right. Only the barbarian brothers. And I found that they were eating Decadaroblo, like it was going out of style. Eating D-Bowl, like it was fucking going out of style. So I used to put the thing in it, and we used to do five and six and run and the whole thing. And I believed that's when Joe Weider, only had egg protein. That's it. Yeah.

That's it. There was nobody else competing with Joe Weider. You want to lose weight? You had to take the inocetol clon mix. Yep. I remember that. People got hip to. That's why people lost weight on cocaine because you cut cocaine when an anastatol.

Yeah. So people started losing weight going cocaine makes you lose weight. No, it's the Ignositor. You snort with it, you're fucking dumb fuck. Because you're probably doing a gram of my Anasitol every fucking night. Joe We would be proud. In the fucking 80s, Inocetal went through the roof. Yeah.

Like, you could find it with Cloline and Inocetal. But since Ionacetal was used as a good cocaine cut, you couldn't fucking buy it. It would cost you going to a health food store, and it would be like $30. So we'd steal the capsules. Okay. I'd steal the capsules because they're already weighed for you. So you can already fucking go into the city. You give me the money to go inside.

I can just throw a capsule in there, scoop a capsule out, and nobody knows nothing. Everybody's happy, you follow me? What fucking think you're dealing with, Lane Jolie bananas? Evil genius. Yeah. Good Lord. So what was the rest of your Jersey diet?

You didn't need to get to finish that. When I was a kid, I used to hang out with this Puerto Rican kid. His name was Pablo Torres, as cool as fuck i loved a little older than me yeah he was in he was in uh maquire a air force base he was a soldier's older than me by great adventure sure and i there was beat nights when he come up i'd stay by his house his brothers and we'd watch tv late night but the reason i like staying there because in the morning if you took a five block walk you went from borter ricanville into italian

ville right in the corner was 22nd or 21st and central was it was in the a guy that made a little Italian old man and he made that Italian bread that's like this but real fucking long yeah like this long but real skinny yeah I would take two of those the bag of zepleys and I would get a bar a hotel barboh butter fucking 16 ounce Coca-Cola and that's what I would eat for breakfast I would sit there with the fresh bread and just a stick of butter yeah and just eat the fresh bread with the butter and then the bagazeplees for the walk to school with powdered sugar on it. Diabetes is somewhere in your future.

You always have something to go. You always have something for the water. You got to have a little something to go. A little something for the box. The thing I miss a lot from Jersey is fried corn muffins. I love when you go into a fucking diner and you can just get a fried muffin. They put butter on it and put muffin on the grill.

Yes, they do. Yes, they do. Let's go to Jersey right now. You didn't know that, Doug? No. My friend told me that at a, sleep it was the best thing ever happened to me he did it with a blueberry muffin though oh he would cut the top off put it in the toast drive and put butter on it oh oh my god listen

my ex-wife i can kill it ten times in hell i'll tell you something about my ex-wife that bitch can make a muffin though that bitch can make a blueberry muffin because old school from buffalo her polox she used to make fresh blueberry muffins fresh blueberries and then the top she'd milked butter with sugar two coats of it do one coat in the other coat. That's how Ralph does it. It went right through. You'd fucking take a blast of that.

Forget about it. You'd be talking all day. I eat 19 of those blueberry fucking. Fucking. Like I said, I'll stab it ten times in hell. But she could make a good blueberry muffin, dog. Wow. And then I got hooked on the worst Jersey thing ever.

Cream cheese and jelly on a fucking Kaiser roll. Yeah. That's not bad, though. No, Jesus Christ. That's terrible. It's tasty. It's tasty, right? It's tasty.

I don't think I've had that. It's pure diabetes, though. I haven't had that in 40 years. Shit. I got caught on the phase about six months. Cream cheese and jelly from half ashways with you. With a you. You ever do cream cheese and peanut butter?

No, that's disgusting. On a bagel. Oh, it's good. That's brave. What does Coke do to you in the morning? Like when you, how bad. Coca-Cola? Yeah.

How bad it's chicken? What about heroin? It's think of it. Is it that bad? It's that bad. It's that bad. It's that bad. And it's addicting, too.

It has a powerful addiction that we know of, right? It's crazy. When I stopped drinking Coke, I moved on. Now, think about giving it to kids. Ten years ago? I think I stopped drinking Coke. Yep. Now I drink a...

It's been years since I drank Coke. But I know the last time I drank Coke, I spit it up. It tastes like... And then it just went away. Diet Coke. Tastes. I have Coke zero at the house, which I have from time to time,

just to break the monotony at night, just to feel like I'm doing something bad when I'm smoking, Rifa. You ever read the ingredients of that? A Cozera? Yeah. It's pure fucking liver crushers. Don't kill you. Remember that you know what? The water you showed Rogan and Jersey? Yeah. But don't

you know what, don't you? That's where they get it. Here's the sad thing, and it's true. Right now, I don't test, I'm not even in the diabetic zone in my age. I'm not as sure. You got super jeans, man. No, no. I don't like, uh, cake anymore. I don't like nothing sweet anymore. In my mind, I like cake.

But in reality, it, Pulses me, right? You know what? My cheetahs? A two-point jello sugarless pudding. That's my cheat. Okay. The vanilla chocolate's two points in weight watchers.

What are you on from me? You know what? If I eat two of them, nobody's gonna fucking die. Is this a whole pie? No, no, no, it's a cup of jello. Okay, I was like, it's a cup of fucking. I gotta see this point system. Yeah, no, no, it's a cup of jello.

Okay. It's a chocolate vanilla pudding, you know. So is it, weight watchers, it comes? Like they send you food? This is Jello. This is real jello. The thing I like about Weight Watch is I eat what I want. They have a list of all the restaurants on here.

So I bang it up. That's right here. I open it up. I got four points left for the day. Okay. All right. I got 42 for the week if I need to spend it. Okay.

Then I click on to here. It's not shown it here, but I have your activities. Gotcha. So I got Muay Thai in there. So every time you weigh yourself and you go in and say I did 20 minutes of Muay Thai, real 20 minutes. Yep. Not fucking, you know, like if I go to an hour class and Muay Thai, I did 20 minutes of what we die. You know, the rest of the time, you're standing around, he's teaching a technique, whatever, unless you're doing circuit trainings.

Yeah. So you can put that all in there. That's cool. So, okay. So chicken, beans, yeah. Fish. Yep. Eggs.

Yeah. Free. All free. So you can eat much of that as you want. Gratest. I could get up in the morning. Now, 20 years ago, no. When I came from Cuba, since I didn't know better, I'd eat scrambled eggs.

No, I can't have a scrambled eggs. If it was up to me, I would eat four fucking scrambled eggs and start with zero. That's how you cheat on weight watch. Four scrambled eggs, salt and pepper. That's it. Delicious. But me, I need one bread. I need two pieces of wonder bread.

Jesus, pile of sugar. I need two pieces of wonder bread to get the party started. But Wonderbread is two points of slice So two pieces of white bread You actually They still make Wonderbread? Fuck yeah And I'm with them number one consumer

In 2018 they still make that? Fuck yeah I'm hooked on Wonderbread Gene And they sell it in food stores The wheat white is two points of slice So for breakfast I have two eggs A piece of boys had American cheese And two pieces of fucking white bread for six points

I love that Wonderbread also makes a healthier wheat version Yeah I eliminated the fucking bacon from my diet. I eliminated the bacon from my diet. I'm not going anywhere with bacon, prosciutto. You're not going anywhere with that shit on a weekly basis. No. A pursuit once in a while, a little like my wife told me last night,

I bought sausage. I don't want to eat sausage no more. Yeah. I'm just not interested in eating sausage no more. Chicken apple sausage. After a certain age, I tell you what I don't like either. I don't like eating meat later than night. Yeah.

My meat intake has been cut in half in the last year. I mean, cutting in three quarters. How much meat would you eat more sitting typically? When Rogan was buying, because Rogan bought me more steaks than my mother. Okay. I would sit with him and get a 16-ounce. Yeah.

Baked potato. Yeah. If you eat that at 4 o'clock, it's a big difference and then you eat that at 9 o'clock. Yeah. And there's a bigger difference if you eat that at fucking 11.30 Then go up to your room. Like alien.

Those are all differences. So, There's a big difference. It's normal life, regular life. I'll try to eat meat early in the day and then eat fish for dinner. Yeah. I've been more bean conscious.

Yep. I'm Cuban. I love black beans and I love red beans. Yep. And they say that people who eat beans live longer now. They're in the group five zone of people who eat beans and their diet every day. It might not include rice.

You know, the rice might deactivate the effects of the beans. Well, they actually blend well together. I'm a rice and bean type of guy. Yeah. If I go to the Cuban place, I'll get rice and beans and pork chunks, but I won't get the fried bananas. Yeah. Or get the Cuban soda.

I'll drink water. You know, there's little sacrifices you make. Yeah. You know how much soda I drank as a kid? My mother had a bar. A bar? A bar. Okay.

So. You drank unlimited soda. From the age of four. From the draft? From the tap. From the tap. And then she had the, You had the Puerto Rican labels, which were like lemon up.

Okay. Instead of seven up, it was lemon up. They came in a case. Yeah. It was like co-cola, root beer cream. So she would automatically tell the guy to load two in the car every week. She'd give an extra $10. Yeah.

So those two came to the thing. There was a time in my refrigerator where each level was just sodas or beer when I was growing up. Okay. The top level was Edon Bell. Cuban iron beer, the guy with the muscle. The second level was Coca-Cola's, and the third level was just Heineken's. And the fourth level was like vegetables

and shit like that. But there was always sodas at my house. Like I always drank. Because she ran a bar, so it was accessible. I won't drink alcohol, but I'll drink soda until the end of fucking time. Sure, sure. It wasn't until I was 22.

I went to it. my friend got a half a DUI. It wasn't a full DUI. It was like a half a DUI. He was on the borderline. It was 83 or something. So a friend of mine had done this for another friend of mine. Whenever he needed money, he would sit through seminars for him.

So I told the guy, the guy goes, I don't really want to go to the seminar. So I charged him 200 to go to the seminar and take the hip beat. There's Mike Dolce. So I had to sit there from 8 to 5. And what they show you was the effects of alcohol. When I was 19, I never forget that, that the guy was like a, there was anti-DUI class. And he said, this is the effects of alcohol

when you drink in the morning, lunchtime. And like I was blown the fuck away. And then the guy goes, let me show you the effects of soda. And he just went off. And I was sitting there like, fuck, and I drink 30 of those a day. Like in those days, I wouldn't even consider water. Water wasn't even in my agenda.

It's amazing you lived Wasn't even in my agenda Right How many of those fucking iced teas did you drink out of the fucking container when you were a kid? Every one Those are cancer iced teas. Those were the ones in the container with a missing fucking kid on the side And the jokes, right?

The little barrels Oh my God and you can taste the cardboard You have no idea And our parents just force fed it to us They didn't want us around So what happens to the body when you have a soda for breakfast? There's a whole cascade of events, you know, and they'll express themselves differently in each person,

you know, not to avoid the question, I'll get to it. But everybody is going to have a different response, right? Do the genetics, due to your current state of health, and what else might be fucked up with you, right? So it's all going to be a little different at the time. But the first big thing is just the rush of insulin, which essentially is insulin running through your body and it's looking for it's looking for good things good food to put where it needs to go because the body's broken down and fucked up and fucked up and needs to repair and recover it needs micronutrients and phytonutrients and like yeah the the macro protein carbs fats that's less essential and it goes and it finds just this disgusting synthetic toxin essentially right and now it's

like well fuck we got all this where are we going to put it like let's just kind of put it everywhere Let's put it in the knee. Let's put it in the artery. Let's put it in the heart. This is a very loose explanation of what actually happens. But this happens, and it happens in some way to everybody. So the more that you do that, the more you're signaling whatever genetic response that you have to expedite the process and get more focused on this area. And then the addictive nature of soda, which is very addictive and sugar is very addictive.

And synthetic sugars with different ingredients. become very, very addictive and some of the energy drinks out there have caffeine so they're doubling and tripling the addiction. I'm not saying it's intentional, but factual, that's actually happening. We know with the responses of these compounds. So people get stuck into that, like the sugar, right? So we'll go back to the sugar. And in my opinion, from where we're working, where my team is paying attention,

what that does more than anything else, it disrupts the digestive and environment. Therefore, even when you can then put good food in, it's not going to get digested and broken down and absorbed and assimilated and partitioned the way that it should. It's going to be inferior simply because you were dickhead and ate the, they had the soda first thing in the morning. You have all the negative effects from drinking the soda. And then now you have to deal with all the backlog and the problems because of the first bomb that dropped off. You kind of broke the infrastructure. structure, let's say. Big bomb goes off. Boom, that's a soda. The whole infrastructure is

fucked up in the town. The streetlights don't work. One of the buildings is knocked down. The fucking train track is crooked. That's happening in your body. And I hope people get to understand that because it's easy to just point to other people. Oh, they're fine. They're fine. Well, two out of three people will die of lifestyle related illness. So they're not fine. They're actually the two people next to you are fucking idiots. So you have to think a little bit smarter. And what I try and do is open up the factual side. Just look at it as a fact. We're not going to argue some bullshit scientific study, not that studies are bullshit, but

that's not the point. That's the smoke and mirrors. Really, it's all lifestyle. It's your habits. It's being accountable. Most people aren't accountable. So that goes back to that one soda. So drinking that soda every day, it's not like, like, oh, this soda is really good

for me. It makes me feel awesome. Like, I'm so happy to be drinking this soda right now. It's like, I'm going to drink this fucking soda, but I get that little, uh, that little hit from it or whatever the addiction endorphin serotonin whatever the response is you get that but then you typically feel worse like lethargic and my stomach's fucked up and you get weird bowel movements and you know just everything gets thrown off and then there's a self-loathing like i'm a fucking piece of shit like what am i i didn't give a fuck when i drank a soda for breakfast you didn't know you didn't

but now if you did oh yeah never drink a soda for breakfast but some people do i wouldn't and they haven't gotten to this version yet of where you are. No, I wouldn't drink the soda. But, you know. Can you imagine if something was like a big soda, like, and sitting in front you? I'd be like, what the fuck is this? It's been like 10 years, really, since I drank soda.

About the time I gave up Coke a little afterward. I went to Weight Watchers and I started on a Diet Coke, and that took a while. So you transitioned off from the regular Coke? Little by little, yeah. Okay. I just went off to Coke, the Diet Coke, knowing how bad, that's even worse for you.

Yeah. That's even worse for you, but letting my body adjust. Because, I mean, I was throwing down coke. Seltzer water helps a lot. That were nice when I was coming back from the comedy store. And I'd stop and get a container of New York Superfudge chunk. Ben and Jerry's New York Superfudge chunk and a 32-ounce Coke. Oh, Jesus.

And I'd take a cup. And I'd take half of it and put it in the cup and pour the coke over it and stir it and just drink soda. I would drink the full 32-ounce Coke and the whole container of Ben and Jerry's New York Superfund shot. That's on my wife. He used to tie my shoelaces for me. Okay, wow. That was when they, if I got home and the elevator was broken,

I would have to go somewhere because I wasn't walking up the steps. I don't have the fourth floor. Like, I wouldn't go home. Okay. Like my wife would call me where are you? I'm not coming home. The elevator's broken. What do you mean?

I'm not walking fourth floor. I'd have said. I couldn't. Wow. I couldn't. It was that bad at one point. And when I tell you about these eating habits that I had early on, I was in tremendous shame.

Yeah. Because even when I went to New York in 93, and I was an open mic, I was walking around that city. Yeah. And I still had a 34, 36 waist. I was still, yeah. Yeah. It didn't, I didn't put the weight on until 36 until I moved out of L.A.

Okay. Once I stopped everything I was doing, my whole lifestyle. Because in New York, you walk. Yeah. If there's one thing you do, Dean Del Reydy that day. He says he's averaging 11 miles a day or something walking in New York every fucking day. Yeah.

You know, that's what he averages. Walking between comedy clubs. He bought one of those watches, I guess. I don't fucking know six miles a day. All right. When you eliminate that, that fucking shocks your system quick. Absolutely. And you're still eating the way you're eating.

You know, in 93, I walked and I belonged to a boxing gym. And basically, I went in there and I hit the bag, and they trained me once in a while. through punches on mitts but i just use it as a locker yeah so i could have clothes if i had to do comedy in the city in midtown manhattan nice i would run up there work out switch and then go to do comedy i would just keep that locker in midtown manhattan it was 38 dollars a month that was and you gave a guy a 20 you let you hit the mitt for 20 minutes 20 bucks or 20 minutes that's all you need 20 minutes on the mitts with a good coach finish on the bag you're done it's fucking crazy how much I've learned the last.

And you don't really know. You don't really know. You don't know. It's like I love people who eat asaib bowls. They're killing themselves softly. It's just, and I didn't know this. Like I was doing great on weight watches. And I went back one week and I gained three pounds.

And I looked over my menu. Yeah. And I go, what the fuck am I doing? At that time, I used to go to kickboxing and go to the assaye place. And I would get the chia seeds with the goju berries with the bananas, the strawberries, the fucking granola. And then I would eat that assay. So I thought I was eating fruit, which is zero.

Yeah. If you go home, you can eat 10 bananas for breakfast too. And you're good. That's insane. So I can eat 10 bananas for breakfast, and I'm good. Sometimes if I got a stretch that day and I don't want to eat between Jiu-Jitsu, I eat breakfast and two bananas. And I won't eat until 1-30 until I come back from Jiu-Jitsu.

And this is part of the program? Yeah, weight watch is that's what you want to do as long as you eat those 42 points So they want you to eat those points every fucking day so you can you can eat it in one meal or two meals or ten meals as long as you get this points in they don't care and there's free foods also like bananas But that is an interesting point that when I went to the council and I go I'm eating the sauce I eat she goes No, she goes because when you drink fruit and you bite you fruit it's two different stories so if you eat a banana it's a zero point yeah if I put a banana in a milkshake it's eight points hmm because it goes past your saliva and which breaks down that sugar and separates it yeah so it's weird I was throwing a banana in my

shakes I'm like there's zero yeah no then I thought that coconut milkshake I would put a banana in there and go I'm zero no so I had to stop eating the assailles bowls even though I missed the fucking yeah then I would just eat the top the fruit but even Even the fucking goji berries. They're fucking five points. Yeah. For like two ounces of goji berries and shit like that. So all that sweet stuff, like I don't eat cake, nothing.

There's nothing in my house, nothing. My weaknesses, the biggest addiction I had was peanut butter. Okay. That was my shit for a while. I love peanut butter. I love peanut butter too. Getting stone to the gills and coming home. And first you get it one spoon.

Then you get another spoon and lick that. Then you get a third spoon. And then finally, after about an hour, there's 13 fucking spoons in the sink. You know, all of them with peanut butter on. And you got to wash it off instantly because if you let it sit and then hit it, it smells funny. If you don't clean peanut butter off your spoon real quick and hit it the next morning, your sponge will smell like dick. Two fucking weeks. It's true.

It really is true. It's true. I love fucking peanut butter. But all that shit that I'm telling you about was when I was, that was one of the reasons I knew. I don't know. I think I die in the East Coast. I die of a heart attack. Because of what we don't have here, there's no,

there's nothing to eat after 10 o'clock here. Yeah. Well, there's shit to eat. There's Taco Bell, right? There's Carl's Jr. There's shit like that. There's nothing to eat. There's Denny's, there's nothing to eat.

You know, in Jersey, I got a place that we go to 1. But, like, when I go home next week, I'll go up 1011 and get the seafood salad. Italian seafood salad with the Kalamana and the octopus. Where is this? There's the Scugia at Rudy's, and it's zero points. This is the olive oil. Come on now, Papa. Come on now,

some fucking calamamom. Not fried. That sounds awesome. Not fried, just a regular raw fish. Like a savié type. And they put like the Italian things on. I go in there every night. I don't touch the bread.

Because they don't have no butter there. So my waste my time. I'm a big olive oil guy. I believe that the reasons why Italians live so long. It's because of the olive oil and the red wine to an extent. Yeah. To an extent. All the old Italian people I've seen live.

They all do the same habit. They dip bread and olive oil once a week. They switch to turkey meatballs, which kills Italians. Once they got to switch the turkey meatballs, that kills the Italian. That's like taking the Jews neck brace. You know what I'm saying? That kills the Italian. Once they got to make turkey meatballs, that's the end of the Italian.

They taste just the same. No, it don't. No, it don't. All right, leave me alone. You got to put a piece of pork in the fucking sauce. All right. Yeah. Leave me alone.

You have a good sauce of turkey. Thank you. I'm not big in turkey meat, though. There was one girl I used to date in Seattle that made a turkey burger that you would jerk off all over. The best of terriaki plays and mushrooms and onion on a bun. Oh, my goodness.

I've never had another good turkey burger. Every time I take a bite of a turkey burger, I throw it away now. It tastes like dick. Well, compared to what you were eating. What? Like, what was that? thing at the diner would be like

a cheeseburger with the steak fries with the mozzarella on it? You know how we do it, dog, those Jersey diners with the Greek mother. You get the cheeseburger deluxe. Yep. So you get a cheeseburger with fries, gravy, mozzarella cheese on the French fries. Disco fries. Fuck yeah.

Mutzrelle on top of French fries with gravy poured on top. With a fucking open steak sandwich. Yep. Two in the morning after a night of fucking bean out. I would do a pork rolling cheese omelet that would be my thing with the disco fries oh Jesus Christ fucking there was a place to fucking bark filled dine or something on 69th street in north

bergut on wednesday they had cream of turkey and make your asshole sperm sperm would come out of your asshole cream of turkey with the open steak sandwich with the steak fries and then i get a milkshake for dessert you went right home coma nothing nothing you follow sleep with your clothes on. It's like, yeah, the fucking Xanax. There was always a fight there. There was one of the waitress that always drew people out of that. And one night she threw this fucking guy out right in front of us.

And then one night, I almost seen him get hit by a car. And then one day, I found that the guy died. He left like $8 million. Oh, shit. To the waitress. No. Like, the guy had, like there was this creepy guy. He used to hang out at the diner.

Yep. And he used to hang out at this bar from time to time. And then one day, somebody said, you know, that guy's like a Coke sales. I'm like how the guy was acting retard all his life. And when day he died, people said he owed $8 million. I don't know what this got to do. Oh, it $8 million or had $8 million? Had $8 million.

I mean, he was better son. Who the fuck knows? Huh. The Berkshire diner. There you go. Cream of turkey soup. Ooh. I was never at, for about a year I got into the Taylor Hamm and Egg and Egg.

Okay. On a Portuguese roll. Okay. What's the Portuguese roll? That's way before that Mama Luke roll that they ever get. What's the big thing that? The Kaiser roll? No.

What's the new one that they can't live without? Pretzel roll? No, it tastes like dough. It tastes like eating fucking dough. Potato rolls? No. The other one. Hawaiian?

No. Cresso? Roles, whatever the fuck they are. Basa, no. There's a new role that they use. Who's they? Everybody. Millennials?

Chabada bread. Chabada bread. That's shit. That's garbage. That's garbage. That's garbage. That's garbage. That's garbage.

That's garbage. This is a Portuguese roll was like an Italian roll, like an Italian bread, but circular, and it was like this big. And I put a fucking egg on there with a piece of fucking Taylorham and egg and a piece of American cheese sliced thin.

Stop. A little bit of ketchup. Salt pepper. With a fucking... Oh, man. But I'm an oatmeal guy too, dog. Yeah. I'm a big oatmeal guy.

Breakfast bowl. Yeah. Yeah, I like all that stuff. That's the daily. I try hard, man. It's really weird. how it's taken years to stop with the night eating that going off the edible's really helped a lot okay that makes sense that fucking you can't stop you

just can't stop yeah I found myself in bad situations and other fuck these little fucking people eating disorders I'm gonna eat it all I remember I still remember several nights with Pirates booty I remember one night they didn't have Pirates booty but that had the cheese pops my white water My daughter for lunch and I went to the orange cheese puffs. Those orange ones. Oh shit. And I found the bag and I ate the whole, like I ate like four and I went on the Weight Watchers thing.

And it was like four of them was like three points. I got it's nothing. And I found myself in the kitchen. The bag was empty. There was crumbs all over me. I can hear my wife in the morning going, Jesus Christ. What the fuck did you do last night? I'd made three or four sandwiches.

With the cheese balls? With no, with the one. I would get high on those edible some nights. Yeah. I had to tell my wife to stop my coke out. Like, stop. I would go home and make one sandwich, then another sandwich,

and I sit there for an hour and go, and then once I went to the wait-watched, I just started eating apples again. Would you eat anything with the sandwich, like chips or pretzels? No. I'm not a chip guy or a pretzel guy. Now I eat an apple.

If I'm still hungry, I eat a banana. If I'm still hungry, I eat an apple. If I'm still hungry, then eat the fucking sandwich and get it off of it at least you tried you try with the three apples at least you know you'll shit the sandwich out with no problem right you know what I'm saying you got three apples following it it's gonna come out nice and fucking smooth in the morning no drama right no drama we call that the one wiper so Mike don't you how you make a living now same same thing same just being shared you're still gonna be a nutritionist yeah I you know I never was in a way

Because people ask, what do you do? I'm like, what do you need? I get it done. You know, it's more like a fixer. I come in and I fix shit. What's going on? Your diet's fucked up. Your blood work's fucked up.

Your training system's fucked up. Your life is fucked up. Your focus is fucked up. You know, all these different things that can be fucked up. Because I have the experience of working at an elite level for over 20 years with these high-level performers. I can help fix it. And yet nutrition is everything. That's the foundation.

So we have nutrition is the foundation. Stress, management, and rest. That's number two, more important than exercise, right? Exercises is probably the least most important part of the entire process. So you make sure the nutrition is sound and then you get in and you start to tweak. So what do I do? That's what I do. I create content, but we have online training programs.

We have a team of registered dietitians. We do a lot of work with the public. We have four best selling books. We have these other things that we do, which is cool. So the people that need some health and fitness and weight loss stuff, we have. But my job, my goal is to share the information by any means possible sitting here and talking to you and Lee in the audience and having these conversations. My job is an educator more than anything else. So it's when I talk, I try and share this education, this information based on the experience that I've had, the shit that I've seen at the levels that I've been apart and the teams that I've worked with and the data that's come across my desk.

So I just share this stuff. I just share this is this is what I see. And this is what happens. This is what's going to work. This is what is historically worked. The vast majority of time for the vast amount of people. So let's just do this stuff. That stuff.

Well, yeah, it worked with 12-year-old epilectics, okay, but that's not you. That's not this. That's, you know, not a bash of keto, but that's kind of the concept. And it's all these different types of short-term, we call them exclusionary fad diets. You will have short-term results six weeks to 12 weeks, let's say. And then you kind of crash and fall off and you make a change. I got to get back on instead of just swinging the axe, hitting single. You eat real food every two to three hours based upon activity.

You know, we don't want to overeat because we eat again a little while. You drink water. You avoid synthetic chemicals, toxins. All right, let's not poison ourselves anymore. Let's just drink real water, eat real food. You know, kind of throughout the day. How about we just kind of do that and see what happens? Holy shit, I'm fucking leaner than I've ever been.

I'm stronger than I've ever been. I'm fucking sexier than I've ever been. My digestion feels better than it ever has. Like, all this stuff happens. And it's not magic. That's the way humans were meant to live. So what we suggest is just follow the same principles that have sustained all life on the planet since the dawn of time. Eat real food in great variety based upon local geographic availability when it's ripen in season.

All right. So I could think of hundreds of different recipes out of just that batch of real food right there without being a witty little bitch about it. I can't cook. I can't go to the supermarket. Fuck you. You're making an excuse now. So we eat real food in wide variety. So we get all these different micro nutrients and phytonutrients, what actually is important.

Because we're cellular beings, we humans, we're cellular. We have to think on the cellular level. And that's where the micro comes in, the micronutrients and the phytonutrients. Everyone focuses on the macros and the high carb and the low carb. That's so, you know, so fucking 1987. That's so like small-minded when it comes to really facilitating healthy, sustainable weight loss and the accomplishments of fitness goals or performance goals or the improvement of longevity,

because that's what I think I focus on. So we kind of said earlier, what am I on nutritionist or whatever? How do I make a living? I kind of take a longevity view, longevity approach to short-term goals. What's your goal? You want to win the world title? Yeah, we can do that.

You want to step on stage, yeah, we can do that. You just want to get your body back after pregnancy? Yeah, we can do that. You're coming back from a really bad visit to the cardiologist, yeah, we can do that too, along with your cardiologist because I have a team of registered dietitians who work for me. and facilitate that and act as liaisons. And we build the nutrition, the supplementation

that doesn't have contradictions based upon the doctor's diagnosis and the prescription medicine. So that's what my team, my company does. A lot of people don't know that. That part of the business is much bigger than any MMA business anyone has ever seen. The MMA stuff, well, that's fun. And yeah, that was, you know, I did that at the highest level

for a period of time. Very much because it was driven out of passion because I felt I had a skill that I could help kind of walk these athletes through this very dangerous process and I had a skill set to help them do that as healthy as possible. So that was kind of the goal. And it built a nice little business in one niche. So the business now is a broad global content outlet with personalized programs and online programs and apps and books and all that stuff. But I try and give most of my information for free. That stuff's there if you need it. But what we're going to talk about, fuck man, that's thousands of and just pro pro tip right there.

Just take it and start. Now one thing that's been really controversial last couple years that you're the expert in. I mean, I saw what you did was weight cutting. Way cutting, yeah, for sure. You know, I mean, I don't know. I have all these, like, I don't know what I'm doing. Like, when it comes to fighting.

I'm not a fighter. I'm a comic. You know. You try, man. You get in there? But no, but I think about, like, how a guy can't make weight. How a guy could be that far off. How a guy, you know, his system breaks down.

You know, we've seen three or four fighters in the last couple of years that their system broke down. What was the kid years ago? The first guy, I'm tough. They kept pulling him into the sauna. He owns a jihitsu school right up the corner here and then seen him. Nice guy. Yeah. Nice guy.

It started with him in the wetsuit and the bicycle. Forget the kid now. He fell in the steam room and they had a drag. him into the steam room and he didn't make weight. Cost check was dragging him around. Okay, I remember. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, how serious is this shit? It's deadly. It's fucking deadly, man.

That's no shit. It's deadly. It's a deadly sport, though. These fuckers are swinging baseball bats at each other's skulls at a very high level for 15 and 25 minutes. These fighters don't fuck around. So to go through, so as extreme as they are in that field, they will take their weight cut to the same extreme also. Like they take a lot of their life. to the extreme in certain ways. With the weight cut, it's like, I'm good bro, I'm good bro. I'll suck it down, I'll get it off.

They don't do what they should do. When we work with athletes, we call them career athletes. I don't want one-off athletes. I want an athlete we work with 52 weeks out of the year. In-season and off-season, you are monitored by a dietitian. We are setting goals. We are talking to your team. We're making sure that everybody's accountable in the process.

I don't want an eight-week training camp or here's some cash. Can you get me on weight in three days? We get those offers all the time, too. I don't want that money. So where did the beginning of this start? I just fell off the ledger. No, it's a year-long. You want me a year-round.

A year-round thing. So, like, the trouble with the weight cutting is the athletes don't manage their weight. They bring in teams that are ill-prepared to help the athlete manage their weight or experience to adequately oversee a weight cut and then rehydration. A lot of these teams that come here and the athletes rely on these teams or their own internal teams. Their jiu-jitsu coach, their wrestling coach, their moiety coach, their boxing coach. All who have very good intention, right? They want to see the athlete do well, and they're going to give them the old wives tales of what they did or what their coach had them do, which was severely

flawed. It's deprivation. It's deprivation. It's starvation. That's all they do. Eat less, drink, less, work more. Get hotter. Put that suit on. Put the plastics on. Getting the fucking, you know, bathtub. Stay in the bathtub. Don't leave the room. Duct tape the fucking door shut. Turn on the blow dryers. that's what these fuckers are doing. That's insane, man. That's what I talk about with, you know, I want to go too far on specific issues. But globally, that's the problem. So when these athletes are missing weight, there's a couple reasons.

Some athletes really try and they're so fucked, they just medically can't do it. But usually it's because they've been doing it the wrong way. They shut their body down weeks beforehand, two weeks before, 10 days beforehand. They pulled their sodium way too soon. They're only drinking distilled water. There's no carbohydrate coming in their body. There's no glucose for them to operate, but they're doing media. They're driving in cars.

They're stressed out. Then their coaches are having them trained once or twice a day. During fight week at high levels. Like, coach, what the fuck? This athlete is coming in on fumes in order to fucking make weight because you guys were all dickheads for the last 16 weeks and tightened it up two weeks beforehand. And you're having them fucking go hard every night during fight week for what purpose? Is he going to forget how to fucking fight?

And that, you know, that's, you know, in issue. And then so that's going on. I saw a fighter, main event fighter and a big, big fucking fight, not my fighter, but a big dude. At like 12 o'clock at night in the gym where I was done for the day and I was going to get my work in and before I fell asleep and I had to be up at 5 o'clock the next morning. I walk in, dog shit tired. They have this athlete on the fucking treadmill cutting weight in plastics with the ramp as high as it will go sprinting, screaming at them just like vulgar, you know, fucking pussy. you know, whatever to like motivate him, if you will. The athlete's falling.

Can't keep up, can't keep pace. They're cutting weight. They're not working cardio. They're cutting weight. This is the night before wayance. He goes out there and he makes weight in his gaunt as hell and loses a very, very close fight. Loses a very close fight. Had they not killed him in that type of workout, had they properly brought him in on weight

healthy with his, you know, micronutrients intact, if you will. he would have probably got a three-round finish because he wouldn't have broken down as fast. So weight-cutting, the dangers of weight-cutting manifest in many ways. That athlete, you could say, took probably 60 extra blows to the head because he wasn't in the physical shape because he drew himself down so far down that he had to go an extra two rounds with that guy who was punching him in the face. You could have the conversation on that. We kind of look long-term also.

So when we work with athletes, we want it to be 52 weeks out of the year, but also our goal when we work with an athlete is not to win the UFC world title. It's to tell their great grandchildren about when they won the UFC world title. That's the conversation we have with our athlete. So if you just want to get across the finish line faster, well, that's not what we do. You will get across it faster, faster, much faster. But we're looking somewhere else. You know, we're looking completely somewhere else. what about the pretty fucking intelligent sorry I don't know because they the other fuck I'm doing

the other side that I keep hearing is that sometimes they like they miss weight on purpose like it's beneficial to them to lose the person just be a little heavier how much does that I've been a part of this I've seen it firsthand never our athlete because my athletes are always on weight so we always have and we knew some athletes and some teams there's you know you know their reputation you're probably going to make an extra 20% because these fuckers are going to pull up short and What a lot of athletes do is they pull up short. Usually it's within three pounds of the weight class because they just fucking, usually they're being a dickhead in the off season, right?

And then they just quit during fight week. And then they pull up a little early, you know, within three pounds so the fight won't get called off. It's like four and up, five enough, the fight might get called off by the commission. You get it within three, within two, that's kind of ideal. So you don't have to go through the last little bit of hell. Any athlete will tell you, any fighter will tell you the last two pounds or the, I'd rather cut the first 20 than the last two

100% I've cut weight fucking godless times myself in my own life I've been in there in these situations so I lost where I was again now okay so you fight at 155 yeah

what do you walk around in the off season if you're a 55 athlete well Merced Bechtick let's use him he fights at 145 he walks around no higher than 172 we like to keep his weight usually about 164 164 to 168 on, you know, let's say we're hitting strength phases.

Three weeks strength phase. That's probably 12 weeks before his next fight. We might blow him up a little bit to high 60s, you know, even low 70s. But rarely anymore, not for the last two years. I like him to be 62 to 64, which he primarily is. And then three weeks out, we'll bring him down into mid-50s or so. So he still feels good. He's not really sacrificing anything yet.

We're not pulling the food, if you will, and we just rearrange the food intake. So it's not so much a calorie reduction. It's just a restructuring of the calories that are actually coming in because we focus on a lot of the digestibility of the food. And most people don't talk about how is the food actually digesting. So if we have ample or proper digestion, efficient digestion, the food acts differently. And most athletes don't digest properly. The timing is issues. And I do take issue with a lot of the synthetics, like the powders and the, you know, workout drinks and things like that.

Even athletes doing like gatorade and powered from that stuff all the way to like the the concoction Solutions you know pediolites and and things like that That actually has a lot of sugar right it's it has a lot of sucralose Which which is shown I don't even know how many times to disrupt digestion and the digestive environment So why am I gonna put a synthetic chemical into my My digestive environment that will fuck up the operation of the digestive environment while I'm at death's doorway. And I need to get real fucking food and nutrients back in me, motherfuckers.

But down in my gut, like the fucking barbarians are fucking fighting the English while, you know, all the fucking parachute, you know, droppings of good, healthy stuff is trying to come in. It's just getting chewed up because of these synthetic chemicals. And this is what frustrates me. And because what our system is, most people say, Adulcher's just so simple. He always says the same basic shit. Yeah, because it fucking works. It works ass-less.

We're the only team with a 100% success ratio over 20 years. We work with the fucking worst of the best. The Johnny Hendrix, the Tiago Alves, respectfully when it came to weight cutting Kelvin Gastilum, Rampage. I don't even fucking know. Vitor. We miss weight multiple times had issues never with us. And that was some of their best performances from a health standard, whether they fought

a beast in front of them or not from a health perspective. that's that's what we do we don't I mean the fucking whole macro thing that's fucking like 90s if they're still focused on macros you're fucking 20 years behind but what I've had the opportunity to do because I've been doing it such a high level for so long I'm on the fucking cresting wave everybody's on the beach like they don't even know what the fuck I'm doing it'll take them three years to even understand what the fuck we're doing out here because every week it's new athlete new athlete new athlete new athlete new data you know new input new technique new food new timing new this new that oh boom another one high level athlete

a type a type a type a type come on now so it's it just through time if i was an idiot i think we would we would have arrived at this point because this is what works it's just the scientific method all the way through what works best what works best what works best what works best this is what works best this is it and nobody can refute it because they'll like well this thing does that too Like, you don't lower your insulin if you don't have first carbs first thing in the morning. So that means I should eat that completely for everything forever and ever and ever. And then you can buy my powder and take my pills and then come on over here and join my thing. That's what that shit is.

That's not what I do. It's not what we do. So when we deal with athletes, that's the way it is. So when I said the fix, I come in, like fix shit, you're not sleeping enough. You're fucking training. You're training too much. Three high intensity sessions in 72 fucking hours, you crazy? I wonder why you can't sleep because you're already in overreaching.

overreaching syndrome overreaching state you're already there like your bodies you're fucking wired it to shit oh no wonder now your punches aren't coming off you look like shit in training because your fucking nervous system isn't operating the way it should and also like you come and come in and you know massage those areas fix that areas speaking of johnny hedger he's fighting he's fighting the bare knuckle thing how do you do not good you got knocked out i think in the first round by dakota cochran who's a big he's like a tough level kid ultimately fighter no disrespect he's a he's a fighter you know but he's like a journeyman kind of at the tough level um fucking knock johnny out look nasty doing it look like a whirlbeater came out there

fucking no respect just ran right through what did johnny look like man man not not good not like he did against gsp man that was the best that was the best the best version of johnny the most mentally focused he was was getting ready for gsp when i first started working with johnny before the uh i don't even know the fight now so many it was a lot of fights i think i was with johnny for seven fights. I said, what's your goal? To beat George St. Pierre. Okay, not to win the fucking world title. Just so happened, George had that goal.

That's all he wanted to do. And why? Not for the fucking money, just to say that I was better. That's all Johnny wanted to do. He's the best guy in the fucking world. Johnny Hendricks thinks he's better. And on that day, I believe that they did fight. I do believe Johnny Hendricks was better. I believe he was better and I believe he won

that fight. I believe he clearly won that fight. No disrespect. George got the decision. George got the decision. I think even George knows that he didn't win that fight. You know, I believe so, and it's not, it's just, it was a beautiful event, but I think Johnny did enough to win. And after that fight, I'd say, yeah, yeah, yeah, he did what he had to do and he was done. He would, I believe so, mentally.

Yeah, that's it. It happens. What do you get back up for, right? You did it. Yeah, that's it. No, you shot your load. Yeah. It's over.

It's tough to come back from that. He was so focused, man. He's a, no, if he would have been a big, George, it would have been a whole different other animal. He would have made weight. God knows how long he would have done well. That's a mental block. A lot of people have.

They get to that certain spot and they're very happy and they move on. And that's okay too. That's okay too. But you got to get out. In the fight game, it's not like you know you're running coffee shops. When you mentally hit that point, you got to get out where you get knocked out by Dakota Cochran

and the bare knuckle fighting championship. That's not good for your kids, right? That's not good for your family. for your legacy you know that's that's that's a concern you know we'll see we're learning a lot about the after shock of the UFC right now yeah I just read a good article stand her posted on Saturday you see that no I don't think so I was gonna get the fight and then I read this article and it was about why Chuck Ladell had a fight because he had a job at the UFC but they fired him and went up William Morris bought in so he was looking for money so he had to take that fight at 48 years old

What the fuck do you need that money for though like Chuck and this I'm a numbers guy I'm a you know I pay attention what did he make in his career 10 mil 4 mil well okay you fucking got to come back and fight for money and uh you know it's I'm just being honest but what the fuck happened to that money you watch living the life you watch the movie broke the document yeah you're a fucking 401k guys really have to It comes and it goes. Yeah. If you don't appreciate it and you think it's never going to end, bro, money goes fast.

These people think they're going to live off a certain amount. Unless you have your own property, you've got a fixed income from it, a mortgage or whatever. But money goes fast. Yeah. You know, and how many trainers do he have? You know, you got this guy 10, 10, 10, 10. Yeah. You're paying four tens.

Yeah. And you're paying taxes. Yeah. So when you're paying four tens and a five for an attorney, that's, you know, that's a lot of fucking money. You know, it's tough. On how big a payday? Well, what do you?

You have an agent or a manager. Yeah. You have an attorney. I got the fucking, I got Dolce. Yeah. I got the jitzo coach. Yeah. They all got to eat.

Yeah. Most of them don't, though. That's a sad thing. That's a sad thing. Most of them don't. They all got to eat. So. You know, it's so funny when you, we talk about this all the time that I've seen it.

Again, I've been here for 20 years. I've seen guys come out here, nothing, get on the TV show. You know, they were with the John Foghley agent and Lemur management. And now they were three yards, CAA. Yeah. They got Ashcroft Barry and whatever for attorneys. You look at their IMDB and you count five people that they're automatically paying. And that's not counting the 3% of the business manager.

And then your sitcom goes off the air. And one day you got a call for your business manager. He's like, hey, dog. I don't know if you know this. You're almost out of dough. Or you got to start reducing that guy that you take on the road to do jumping jacks with. He's no point on no more. You got to let him go.

You know, I've seen comedians do some wild stuff in 20 years. I bet. I had a friend that would bring a train around the road. He's on ships now. Tell me he wishes. Yeah. I think I know this guy. He's 60-something and now he's doing ships.

Yeah. He used to bring a trainer with him on the road. Really? Yep. You just can't go to a gym. And the whole gym's here, right? A truck would be filled with a... No, no, no, no.

A comedian guy would bring a trainer with him. Okay. Like, if he was like Johnny Gumbar, like if he had muscles. Yeah. It was no reason. It was crazy. You gotta pay this guy two grand. Yeah.

To train you. Really? You bring a trainer with you on the road. And he wasn't no Ron White. Okay. You know, at least Ron White's making $7, $8 million a year. I can see Ron White bringing a trainer with him on the road. Yeah.

But not this guy. This guy was mediocre, and he was bringing a fucking trainer with him on the road. I saw him like five years ago on a plane, and he wouldn't stop bitching. I was headed to Zanis, and he was headed to a ship. He was taking Chicago to Galveston connecting flight because he had no points left. But he made millions. He bought a house up in the mountains. Yeah.

And now you got to keep up with the Joneses. Yep. And he wouldn't sell it. And God knows what the fuck he's doing. But he used to bring a trainer with him on the road. The day I tell you, I'm bringing a trainer with me, just smack me in the face. Unless it's me. Unless it's Mikey.

Yeah. They won't be eating pork cheese. Right. Making sure I don't put that fucking fork down. Don't touch that fucking Carvel. Are Carvel still around in Jersey? You see it? There.

Is that one in Belmont? I think there is one. There used to be one right on 35 in Neptune. That's where we would go. That was the one. I think that's gone now. Neptune, right? Jesus Christ.

I'm going to be playing at Neptune Gramba School, Biddy Basketball, 1978. They almost killed us. Isn't that where Nicholson is from? Yeah. Yep, Neptune. I think he went to Asbury High School, right? Yeah.

And then who else? The quarterback, Joe Disman is from down there? Okay. Disman. We have Bon Jovi, of course. Bon Jovi. Bruce Springsteen. Bruce.

You guys got a lot of motherfuckers. Yeah. A lot. come a lot of you know a lot of your people come and live in that county in that area you know they've access to 45 minutes from the city an hour to philly 45 to atlantic city you know international flights in and out kids can run the streets with doors open you fly to philly or newark north i like nor how far are you now when you land it's um i i could be standing in my house in under 60 minutes you know and that's uh that's like a that's too much it's 45 mile drive yeah that's too much

yeah after i'm playing ride i can't do it now That's why I didn't buy a house and Willa Nills. That's why you fly in the Burbank, right? I fly in the Burbank on the short ones. I fly in the Burbank as much as I could. Yeah. You know that in the old days, there was a lot more flights out of Burbank. There's a flight to New York out of Burbank.

Leaves tonight at 1055, a jet blue that takes you to Kennedy. It's not a bad flight. The landing in Kennedy at 5 in the morning. It's not a bad flight. That's not a bad one. But it's just that hour drive after three days on the road, I just want to get home. Yeah. I just want to get home.

I get up in the middle of the night like a burglar. at four in the morning on a Saturday to get on that four or five and nine the morning so I have to deal with it I kill myself on Saturdays I sleep a little extra yeah I work out and I fucking sleep like four hours nice I catch three four hours of sleep I got on the plane I don't sleep on the plane I drink water the whole fly yeah nothing salty and then I get I do exercises I move my feet on the plane up and down because the calf yeah is the heart of the legs yeah the fucking pump on the legs so I keep so my ankle don't get swollen.

Yeah. I mean, I watch all that shit. You have to when you travel. Have to. Have to. You know, there's radiation on the planes. It's where you have to have to drink water. Yeah.

You know, and try to drink alcohol on a plane. I get fucked up on a plane. I'll smoke a joint going to fucking plan. But that day's not going to kill nobody. It's just going to slow the fucking minister. Yeah. So,

but that's it, Mikey Dolce. It was a fucking. It was just great team. I know, man. I always learn something. New when I see you. Where can they find, Chad?

The Dolcea.com. That's it. That's it. That's the website. That's everything we have. You know, it's um, you know, I don't want to be salesy, but we got a bunch of shit there. They can use your code church and save 10% if they want to. But whatever, you know, it's all there. And I'm always here. I'm accessible. You know, I try and be accessible through social media. No, I see you. I see you. I see you. You do the Q&A. I do the on Instagram. Sometimes I read a lot and I go, wow, you know. People have no. And I see a lot of people take pictures for you. Yeah. I see a lot of people. You're intact with people, which is huge. That's all. they want I try man it's just a little bit of confidence but somebody's saying man you you try you drop two pounds or whatever people have no idea how really tough it is to you know if if elite athletes have a hard time cutting weight yeah think of what regular guys you know yeah it takes a little bit more disson if elite athletes have a hard time cutting weight imagine the American show yeah it's it's all habits man it's just you just establish the habits

and people act like it's such a hindrance on their life to like have to plan their food. It actually frees your life up. Like, I know what I'm going to eat tomorrow. I know what I'm going to eat all the meals tomorrow. So I don't have to worry about what the fuck am I going to eat right now and drive into my car. What do you want? I don't know. What do you want?

I don't know. What do you want? I don't know. What do you feel like? That fucking boom, I'm done. I'm fed already. I'm already now steps ahead. So and the food, you can have whatever you want food wise.

You know what you were saying before we have the breakfast bowl, which is the oats, the berries, the peanut butter. We have the chili. We have the fajitas, you know, and the pastas and the steak and the leaner meals and the, you know, Waldorf salads and all that shit. It just comes down to the consistency. I don't care really what the fuck you eat. Just make sure it's real food and eat it throughout the day. I mean, about the same size meal, you know, four times a day is probably a good approach to eating. You don't have to worry about fasting.

You know, it's just eating a good four clean meals per day. And a meal could be an apple and some cashews or it could be salmon and asparagus. It could be a burger, you know, and some baked steak fries at home, which we'll slice a potato, throw it in the oven for 20 minutes, and, oh, we have French fries here, done. Taste better than the bullshit you'll fucking get at most restaurants for 15 bucks. So again, that's the take, man. That's what we do. That's the message.

Well, I went to Weight Watchers yesterday. Yep. And I went at 286. Okay. It was my anniversary December 9th, and I walked in there at 309. My goal was to get away from 300 as much as possible. What I usually do is December I work harder. December is a really easy and one to gain weight.

Yeah. And then you're dead in January. I don't do that. I tighten it down in December. Like I tighten it down. Like even in New York, I'll eat. I'll go crazy one day. I have to.

Yeah. I got to get Chinese with my friends one night or whatever. But I'll keep it. Like if I go eat Italian, I won't touch the bread. You know, you got to eat the pasta. I won't eat. No, I won't touch the dessert. Okay.

I won't touch the dessert. I'll drink water. I'll do the salad, and I'll do something spaghetti-ish, but not meatish. Yeah. And if they got something fishy, if they got, you know, chieopino or something like that, I'll always go to seafood route. Yeah. I'll always go to seafood route.

That's always a win. But if I go to a Cuban restaurant now, I've been really good the last two times. Yeah. Cubans make great chicken. Okay. That garlic chicken and it's on the grill. That's delicious. So again, with black beans and red rice or black beans or red beans and white rice, it's basically eight points.

And that's eight points is not fucking bad. Yeah. And you can eat chicken. So I kept 25 off for the year. My anniversary was 25 pounds down. That's awesome, man. You should be proud. And you got to remember that's going on the road.

Yeah. That's fucking, you know, that's tight. And I'm 55. I drink water and I gain weight. You know, I gotta go to kickboxing, I gotta go to Jiu-Too tomorrow. I lift, you know, the lifting is fucked me up a little too. Yeah. The lifting's a little bit heavy.

Keeping the weight on a little bit. Yeah, I think the lifting. It's a good weight, though. It shot me up a couple weeks ago. I went up to like 291. I was like, what the fuck? On that Barbarian brother program. I asked her, I go, how much of my squat?

And she's like, I think last week you squatted 470, I go. Yeah, I'm sorry. We got to fuck in. You know, she does the slow motion with the stopwatch. Okay. So it's all 10 up, 10 down. Yep. And they try for two and a half minutes, but you could do three.

Okay. And then the last one, you got to hold it at the squat position, then drop it. Jesus Christ. Huh. Your whole body, oh, my God. All I do is five exercises. Okay. Then after that, you do a pull-down with like 300 pounds.

She buckles me up. I do a pull-down all the way down. Then after I do a bench press. Then after we do an abdominal machine where it's up to here, and you have to put your hands on and go all the way out. Nice. It opens up your back really sharp. You're out of it in 20 minutes.

It's a stopwatch workout. Okay. And it builds cardio vass. Like, I feel better in Jiu-Jitsu. My breathing has really improved. A J-Jitsu. Is this at a gym? Does this happen?

Yeah. Okay. It's called Pio Fitness. Pee of strength. That sounds good. I like that. It's a chick. And I knew about this train.

I had heard about it before, and I looked into it and I go, you know what? This is one at 55 is when I really have to start doing something. Yeah. A little different. So I do the Muay Thai. twice a week if I get two muitais two jihis and two strengths in yeah that's good that's good pro athlete level and I take the two days off to rest some weeks I do one jiu jitsu and two kick boxings yeah some weeks I do two jiu jitsu you know two kickboxing and a jihitsyn like last week I went

to law and I trained Friday at r hd down there and I trained up here on two you know I'm just trying I'm a 55-year-old guy with a five-year-old. I'm not trying to be Mr. America. I'm not trying to do steroids and nothing. Yeah. I'm just trying to keep the weight off to keep the heart healthy. That's it. And that's it, man.

That's the name of the game. No, smoking refa. No, nothing else. Just refa. No alcohol. Yeah. And that's it, Mikey Dodger. I'm just still in shock that you moved to Jersey.

And I'm kind of, it's ballsy. Yeah. It's balls that I don't have those balls right now. I wish I could tell you that I had the balls. in my heart there's times I'm like I gotta get the fuck out of here I just don't know where to go Jersey and I don't want to make a mistake so when we went we weren't gonna go back we're gonna go somewhere else and then when we were we gonna go

maybe New Hope Pennsylvania close enough far enough you know that's a nice area actually Doylestown yeah some nice areas up there you get some good houses you get some good deal still yeah and you're really two hours out of the city you're close enough to the city you got horses up there you look like a fucking white person take the kids to the beach on the weekend you know No problem. Good little house. It was really fucking nice.

So we were looking there. And then we rented a house in my hometown for the summer. Just like end of August. Let's go down there. Rented to the house like, you know, right where, you know, we ended up moving to because we sat there on the front ports at first night. And the breeze was kind of a hot, humid day. But the cold breeze blew in off the ocean.

And you can hear the rustling of the trees in the background and kind of neighbors, soft porch lights, you know, all on down this beautiful tree line street. here in the pounding ocean, you know, on the sand, just, you know, blocking a half away. My wife and I were just sat there, were like, this is it. We got to, we got to get back here. This is, this is, no, said, no, stop fucking around. We're coming back here. Let's set a plan.

That was August of 2017, August of 2018, moved my entire family, packed up our truck, sold everything in Vegas, essentially. Packed up my truck. Wife, three-year-old daughter, one-year-old daughter, seven-year-old, American Pit Bull, rescue 12 year old Maine Coon cat in the back of the suburban and we were homeless because we sold our house August 5th and we weren't closing on the new house until August 10th so legitimately we were homeless which is good which is good I loved it fucking and we're just in the in the truck across the country where the fuck we want right now yeah you know and then we had the destination

we got there and it's it's just been awesome ever since well I'm happy you made the move I'm happy that uh now you inspired me a little bit gonna come out but it's always good seeing you man whenever you're in town you're always welcome on the show you want to call in whatever you want brother you know your family it's always great to see you my brother yes sir i'm happy you fucking made time for us to hell yeah i miss you man it's been too long and don't forget i got no no day it's over i got fucking uh bakersfield wednesday night and then i won't see you motherfuckers again to like the 27th of december in oxnard levity live i think the 27th through 29th or something so that's it i'm going on vacation

We're shutting down the podcast next week and everything. We're not fucking around. So that's it and that's that. I'll see you motherfuckers Thursday morning. Tip Top McGoo. I want to thank Mike Doche. I want to thank the Flying Jew. And I want to thank you motherfuckers for listening and for being family.

And if he came to the Hoyle last weekend, thank you very much. The shows were fucking sensational. All right, I want to thank my main man, Mike Doche, for stopping by today. But most importantly, I want to thank you guys. But real quickly, do not. forget. Now to December 25th, 23 and Me DNA kits are on sale. 23 and me helps you understand what your DNA can tell you about your family and your family story. The 23 and me DNA kit

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Stop being embarrassed about your problems. Four hymns got you. Again, for the cheap seats. Forhams.com slash Joey. Again, I want to thank my main, MacDote. I want to thank the Christ Killer. I want to thank Kishi for stopping by. And I want to thank you motherfuckers for being

part of the church family. Like I said earlier, if you came to the Hoyer this weekend, thank you very much for the great shows. And that's it and that's that. I'll see you Thursday morning, motherfuckers, ready to rock. Have a great day. Stay black. Uncle Joey loves you. Kick that meule. Nice and easy. Nobody got their feelings, sir. I want to be around to pick up the pieces when somebody breaks your heart. Some, somebody twice as smart as I'm a somebody who will swear to be true as you used to do with me. I'll leave you to learn that misery loves company company. Wait and see

I want to be around See how he does it When he breaks your heart Two bits Let's see if a puzzle fits So fine And that's when I'll discover

That revenge is sweet As I sit there Aplodden from a front row seat when somebody breaks your heart like you