The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #645 - Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt

Episode Date: December 27, 2018

Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt sit down to talk about why the holidays may not be for everyone and why preparation is so important if you want you new year to be successful.  This podcast is brought to you by:     ZipRecruiter - post your job to 200+ job sites with a single click for free at www.ziprecruiter.com/church   Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.   Recorded live on 12/26/2018.


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Recruiter.com slash church. C-H-U-R-C-H. That's zipRecruiter.com slash church. ZipRecruiter is the smartest way to hire. Number two, listen, you want to start the new year off fucking tip-top, McGoo, no problems. This is your year, right? That's what you've been telling me for the last fucking 10 days. 2019 is my year. I'm going to keep snorting and smoking and drinking and eating like a fucking

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Start the year off on the right foot. Kick this fucking Mulee. Oh shit. It's Thursday, the 27th, you bad motherfuckers. Post-Christmas. Little motherfucker Janet Jack to kick it off of you. What? All plastic surgery, but who gives a fuck?

You know what I'm saying? What am I, a doctor? Hit it. Shit. It's kicking. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go, Lee.

And not so what. This is Janet. Ninety-four. Chicken. Oh shit Thursday You're sitting there with a thumb up your ass Asking yourself why the fuck am I at work today?

What the fuck? Or why am I not at work today? What the fuck? Whatever your dilemma is, listen, Merry Christmas Post are you motherfuckers and that's it Like I said in the beginning, 2019 is definitely motherfucking here. That's the first thing I thought about this morning.

Like, fuck. Christmas is fucking over. We got a couple more days of this bullshit. And then on the 7th, it takes a couple more days. People got to talk about their bullshit of where they went to Morocco and they smoked ash with some fucking Indian. So nobody's really fucking full navigate until the 15th of January. That shit pisses me the fuck off, you know.

But we'll talk about that stuff later. What I really want to talk to you about that I noticed, I've noticed for the first time this year. I've noticed it in people before. but I really didn't notice it as much as I did this year. It was like, I don't know, maybe I'm getting old and you look at things. For the first time and a long time, I realized how people, there's a lot of people out there that don't do well over the holidays. What do you mean? Don't do well.

They just don't do well. This part of the year does not agree with them, and I'm one of those people. Is it like what you were talking about earlier with people aren't working, or it's just emotional? Just emotionally. Some people do not click this time of the year. They, they, and I was in New York last week. You know, I could be honest with you guys. I was in New York last week.

I want to fucking be there. I'd rather be in my fucking warm house, minding my business going to kickboxing and shit like that. I went to New York for my family. I took my wife and my daughter, and it was cold, and there was ferries to take. and Monday alone we took fucking six ubers and there but their happiness made me happy did I give a Frenchman's fuck about Christmas not really I mean the lights

blew me away at Sacks Fifth Avenue and the tree look you saw a tree you've been seen trees as you were fucking three so it's got fucking lights on it St. Patrick's is overwhelming but my point is this it's I don't know And I thought about it when I was there. I don't know. I don't know if it's so scumbag kids that ruined it by telling me fucking there was no Santa. I don't know if my mother dying gave me a weird feeling about Christmas. But I always just, it just, because you see some people and they're having a great time and they wear the fucking ugly sweaters and they go to parties and they take pictures and it's supposed to be joy.

You've been sitting there smoking a joint. There's people singing outside your door. And you're like, what the fuck do I do now? Like, what do I do? I got people singing outside my door. You open the door, and you're standing like a jerk off, and you look at them. And then you give them candy or a couple of dollars here.

You got a dollar. You got a fucking throat lozenger. I don't know. I just never got that. How has it changed for you since you've had mercy? Christmas is for her. But my wife will tell you, there's a couple of things that I hate.

doing it life I ain't going to the fucking doctor but you got to go you know you got to give him blood but if I tell you what I hate the most I hate shopping I hate shopping when I got to go my clothes I go in there like a fucking hurricane I go in there I know what size I am I know what waste I know what jeans I want when I'm in the fuck in the the tall fat store up at the Panga Canyon up there, double X, whatever. It's 15 minutes. Like, I know exactly what I'm looking for.

I know the sections to go to. I look at a couple things. I go to the section that's got the blue dots where it's like 40% off and shit. But I know exactly what the fuck I want, but I hate going Christmas shopping. Like, I'd rather give you the 20 here. Go buy yourself a fucking bottle of booze.

Leave me the fuck alone. I got a hunt and rap. I just never I don't understand It just never really So growing up You're always Doubting yourself

Like why do I feel this way Growing up I'd be at a house And people be giggling and shit And all I'd want to do Is watch the football game You know That's all you really want to do

You're interested for the onion dip And the football game You know And it's kind of sad So I thought it was just me And then you fuck and go out into the world and you bump into different people. And I remember having a friend in Snowmass.

Good guy. And I didn't figure it out until like the third year. I was in Snowmass that he would disappear around the holidays. He would disappear and just lay low. And I asked his brother and he goes, you didn't know this by hanging out with him so long. You never see him over the holidays and I thought about it. You just never saw it. Something happened to him when he was a kid over the holidays,

and he never got that. I get it. I mean, you asked me when you got here what I was doing for New Year's. I'm not a big party guy at all. So New Year's for me, I like to stay in sometimes. And sometimes it gets lonely, but I've gotten to a point where I enjoy it. And I honestly think, because I, well, the reason why I asked about Mercy is my mom was here for two weeks and it was great.

I hadn't seen her in about a year other than a couple days in Boston. It made me think about you. I was like, I can't... Now every time I see her, part of me, even though I hate admitting, is like, I wonder if this is the last time we'll see her. And I can't imagine what it would be like to have holidays without her. So with it... And whether or not, like, maybe you just don't get along with your family or maybe you just don't like people. I get it.

I don't like being around a lot of people. So for me, instead of being down about it, I try to be like, okay, well, if it's going to make me happy to sit at home and watch a three-studious marathon

on AMC, then just do what it. Give yourself the gift of just being, making yourself happy. That's a good angle. That's a great angle. I agree with you.

I did it for years. I did it for years. I didn't want to impose my, not saying misery but not understanding and I remember I was raised Catholic and I get the effects that Jesus was born and I get all that stuff

and I love giving gifts I love all that shit just it's not like I'm fucking singing down the streets jumping up and down and this year I've looked around me and I've looked at the people around me

and I told Rogan when I got back because Rogan was talking to me, him and his wife were thinking about New York or whatever. And I said, you know, I love New York City, but for me it works three months a year. It works in September, October, in April. No humidity, no cold weather, that type of stuff. But when it comes to the holidays, New York destroys L.A. by a landslide. What do you mean? That right now in L.A., like when I got off the plane, I could tell I was in L.A. and the Christmas period had just died.

Like it just died. Like in New York, everything was up, lights were up, people were singing already, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You come to LA, and there's really nothing going on. Last night when I got home or two nights ago, Christmas Eve, I realized there was a North Hollywood Christmas parade.

Did you know about it? No, I didn't. I didn't know none about it. I didn't know nothing about it. We live right here close to North Hollywood. I didn't know nothing about it. So I'm not blaming anything. The main topic here is depression over the holidays

and how I know for a fact I spoke to five people this year that were having a fucking hard time with the holidays. There's a lot of pressure. My dad even said it. Even when you turn on the TV, all the movies and TV shows show, people with their families and if you happen to not live near your family it's like gee

am I doing something wrong or like why like why don't I have that and it's yeah it's hard it's hard to avoid this time of year like we were thinking of having people over Christmas Eve I said you know what let's just have people over Christmas Eve I called 15 people 12 of them were going to be out of town and then I was like I got to think about mercy and somebody invited this that's where there's 30 kids right so we went that route I wanted to spend Christmas at the house I would have fucking done it up nicely you know but other 15 people I like 12 with them were gone right you know I just don't want to have an open house and then I have every fucking body at the house that's my nightmare lying to you yeah an open house but

anyone could just show up yeah no no no no no no no no no no no no no but I really wanted to do that. But again, I called around. Steve Simone was gone. Kay Quigley's gone. The O'Varme was gone. I mean, the amount of people who were fucking gone was just mind-boggling. That's why I like L.A. this time of year.

It says everyone leaves. It's empty, you know. So that didn't bum me out. But I wanted to just give something back to all you guys. You know, I see all the time. I think it was me, you and Diagostina. I got everybody I called. That's funny, yeah.

And DiAgostino's from here. And Diagostino's got family, and he had obligations. So it would have been me, you, your mom, and the baby, the baby would have been losing a fucking mind at 6 o'clock at night on Christmas. So I said, forget it. Because that's all we're down to, you know. And we have no family out here, nothing like that. But all these things, I mean, none of these things on the surface,

or even on the interior bother me, none of those things. It's just this time of the year. And if you know anything about me, part of me is the boredom. If you know anything about me, part of me is the action, especially living here, because it just dies. It just dies. And I've told these guys for years, I shot an NFL promo commercial on Christmas Eve, maybe 2010, 2008. work here goes late so sometimes you catch a run jack

like I caught a late run win year commercials in November so two in November one in December then I caught like a movie things happen you know till the fucking 20th I tell people that all the time don't go nowhere things happen lately I've been looking like a fucking asshole nothing's happens

like you don't know what it's like to go on break knowing that on January 7th you're going to a set and you're going to report to shoot three days on a fucking TV show your fucking holidays

are so happy you're so happy because not a lot of people go right into the year working right which is the other thing about this is like I can't it must be tough leaving

like let's say we left for these two weeks and then you have to pay for a hotel and all that you have to buy all these Christmas gifts and then January 1st rent is doing your you haven't worked for a couple weeks and you paid all that money like I almost take like a little mini vacation in like February or something just why why pay all this extra money for a flight now especially especially if the holidays aren't that important to you go somewhere in March do something like that but no time of the year is important to me the time

of the years and point to me as I'm working and having a good time and you know I've never been a vacation type of guy let's get it out of the way you're either vacation type of person or you're now vacation type of person you have to live with these things you have to come with this conclusion know who you know yourself know yourself so you don't put yourself in bad predicaments because sometimes we pick a partner who wants to be fucking Julie McCoy and she's a travel director and every week they want to do something. And you know what? In the beginning, because you want to get in their pants,

you agree to this shit. But throughout the year, they'll tell you, like every three months, we need to take a trip. And now you're caught up in this shit or going to these. And for some people, they really enjoy that. And I'm not knocking that at all. I've just never been a vacation guy.

I like a relaxing vacation. Even before stand-up comedy, your relaxation is just sitting at home and not moving. Exactly, so I want to do that in the hotel, yeah. Yeah, that's what you want to do all year? Yeah. So what's the difference? There's no vacation for you.

I'm talking about people who go away and actually, like, let that mind go and have a great time. I don't qualify. I don't qualify. And you're right. If I do go on a vacation, I don't like that much movement. I don't like that much movement. I enjoy Disneyland because I was on the site. you know I enjoy when I go to Huntington Beach because I'm on the site you know 20 people have

hit me up and asked me if I'm going to the UFC on Saturday and they got a better chance of seeing fucking Mohammed Gandhi there because if I got to listen I won't drive downtown for fucking dick do you understand me my I fucking hate going downtown try me test me like Hollywood's bad enough marina del Rey's bad enough Walden hills see if you ever see my Cuban ass downtown I wouldn't fucking go downtown if you paid me I get lost every time I go downtown

you just go down there and get lost so I wouldn't go to a fight I went to one fight and it was the biggest mistake because you leave with 18th time I can't do it I like the fights I got spoiled with Joe when we go right from the Mandalay Bay upstairs right downstairs right downstairs right I love that shit

I got to leave, once I got to leave the facility, and you've got a far ride, you're in no danger. Plus, it takes a while to get out of the parking lot. I can't imagine. You know, it's, it's, people think like, what the, I met a guy on a plane a couple months ago, maybe a month ago or something. He's like, hey, man, if you're, I travel a lot, if he's lonely, and you want to come over to my house, I go, where do you live? Like you told me, go, in contrast to the show, whereas it goes about 45 minutes, I go, listen, you got a better chance. of hanging yourself and pulling him a Bourdain because and he was like really and I go yeah and then I think last week or the week before you guys retweet it crystal Leah oh I agree I love that that was the best

and you know guys you look at that clip and you go there's something wrong with delia I look at that clip and I go that's me and there was a clip of Delea basically just saying when people call them up to and ask him to do shit. Yeah, you want to play football? You want to go to eat the best pancakes? I don't think so. Do you want to go stand on line and get breakfast? Not really.

I'm the same person. I don't know what I want to do until I want to do it. I feel bad for people. People call me up at all. Hey, man, if you're going to do something until I let me know. Okay. I don't know what I'm going to do and I'm going to do it. If I call you up and you say to me, I'll be there in 40 minutes, you lost.

So that's why I don't call nobody. You might change your mind in 30 minutes? No. Because when I'm ready to go, I'm ready to go. That's why I fly solo. When this finger does this, when you're with me and this finger does this, that means I'm about to turn my back. I'm going to start walking. Oh, that's why I get nervous when I go with you to show.

Because I'm like, he's going to leave me here. I have to know where he is in a lot of times. You fucked up. I will get in that car and leave you there. I have left tons of people in different places. This finger means wrap it up. We'll leave it. Once you see this shoulder go across like Bella Legosi,

like when he puts his cape on, you're in no danger seeing me stop. I go deaf, I don't hear nothing. You can be yelling Joe or you. I don't know nothing. I get to that car. I pop it open. I get in that car.

I don't know what I want to do until I want to do it. I felt really bad. I have a friend in Jersey, and he kept calling me, man, let me know when you're going to do something. I'm like, you're 40 minutes away. By the time you get here, I've done it, rolled the joint, and watch an episode of fucking Narcos. Right.

So that's why I don't like that. When I'm sitting there and I get that first burst of hunger, I start thinking about what places I want to go to. and I start thinking about who would I call to go to those places. You never, except Mexican food maybe. But your sushi days with me are done. You embarrass me. With that generic white sushi.

Who cares because, see, this is where I was with you until this point. Who cares what the other person is eating? And then he wants to go to Japan now to eat fucking American sushi. No, I would try something there. Yeah, you would try something there. He gets mad at me because I eat tuna and shrimp and different variations of all this. Who cares? fucking shrimp.

Sushi. Shrimp is delicious. How bad do you have to be to go get the same shit you get everywhere, which is shrimp salad, shrimp toast, the main fucking thing so they can slice it and put on a piece of rice, and it still tastes like shit. It's delicious. No, it doesn't taste like shit.

You didn't put wasabi on and nothing. I do, but, okay, I do absolutely put wasabi on it. How dare you? You don't put no is on it. He just gets mad because this is not what you want. I don't get mad. I don't get mad. I don't get mad at all.

I just can't go to sushi anymore. You're an embarrassment. So I tell you the truth. You're an embarrassment. I'm not taking you for sushi. Even the way it looks at me. Yeah, I was going to say the waiter. The way that looks at me and goes,

where did you find this fucking mutt? To sushi tuna and fucking shrimp like a fucking, his name is Hank. Get the fuck out of here. You got to get the rolls. I do get rolls. The blue carb rolls, the short show rolls, the fucking eyeball rolls. The fucking eyeball rolls.

You gotta get all those rolls. Fucking people trying to get whatever. But, you know, like the death thing really bothers me because I could tell you. Even before my mother died, I wasn't hip on the Christmas thing. I was hip on it because I knew my mom was going to give me an envelope. Beside that, I wasn't hip on it. Like, I didn't give a fuck. Once I found out there was no Santa, I just lost.

I think it was the no-santa thing. I don't know who told me. Because my mom, for about two or three years, had me fucking confused. She had me on the ropes, guys. My mom was that good. And I watched like a hawk. And when you watch them like a hawk

and they fuck you, you can't. My mother was good. From the ages of five to like eight, she had me. Even after people told me there was a fucking Santa Claus and I confronted her, she still fucked my shit up. I looked all over that house for gifts And the tank in the basements

I looked everywhere I couldn't find them I went to the bar with her I came back the gifts under the fucking tree So this day I never like before she died I never really asked her Because I kind of like the fucking thought Of there being a Santa Yeah it doesn't I mean I grew up

The only way I get thinking is if one of her friends Sliped in and broke gifts in And then slipped back out That's the only way I could But I would watch her like a hawk all those Christmas years that she was alive. Then once I found out, I didn't give a fucking water. I'd watch it.

But I would watch it like a fucking hawk. If she was going to the store, what she would bring when she'd come back. I would look through receipts. Jesus. I couldn't find the fucking thing. And then Christmas fucking Eve, there's 20 gifts. So that's what I think fucked me up. Once I fucked up, once that scumbagged on the corner who told me,

I wasn't a Santa and must have crushed everything I had inside as a kid. There's that. I always hated getting, like, for holiday stuff, like, you have to get ready. And God forbid it's at your house, you have to help your mom get ready and set the table. I used to hate that stuff. That was, and then there's always, like, a couple people at the parties that you don't like, and then you have to spend your time avoiding them. That was what got me.

Everywhere I go, there's something they don't like. So I'm used to that shit, except jiu-jitsu and shit like that. But it just bothers me that because I know I'm not alone. I know I spoke to a few people. And I thought I was the only one that had it. And I faked a funk for years. And then over the years, I've heard people mention little things under their breath. Like, I can't wait until it's over.

And even in the Netflix special, I talk about the first year without having my mother that I think back at that and it's traumatizing. Like it's amazing that I made it through that holiday patch. Especially that young. If it wasn't for the drugs and my stupidity,

maybe I would have been dead. I don't fucking know. But I know that first year when I think back to it when I was writing that joke and I thought about Gina and I remember just thinking about that first year without her

It was like anything else in my life It was like going to prison And thinking about not having weed ever again Like nothing happened Life went on Like you always think something bad's gonna happen Like when I got sent and I'm like How am I gonna make it in there without weed?

I don't need Chinese food I don't need this but I'm always gonna need weed Next thing you know I hadn't smoked weed for six months And I was doing well You know you always think how you're gonna make and that's that first holiday without that loved one is got to be one of the roughest fucking patches in your life and it starts you get that nut in your stomach two days before Thanksgiving

doesn't even bother you you think about it but you put it under the carpet and then two days before Thanksgiving you get that fucking nut and then Thanksgiving you realize that person is not at the table. That is terrible. That is horrible. When you realize that that person is not at the table and then you go to bed that night, you're a little bum, but you wake up the next day and there's fucking Christmas everywhere, but you're numb to it. You're immune to it. You got immune to it at the fucking Thanksgiving table. And you go through emotions and you smile or your girlfriend or your wife but at the end of the day you're like i i fucking can't wait for this fucking holiday to be over i don't know why christmas is that holiday

and listen you know there's a lot of ways to seek help you call a friend there's suicide hotlines there's just people to talk to but my go-to people are my friends man when i'm feeling that way And sometimes you don't have to tell them. You don't have to call your friends and say you're feeling shitty. Just calling somebody and them talking to you for four or five minutes about generalities unravels things. You don't have to call me and go, Joey, I feel like a fucking asshole. I miss my mommy. I mean, I'll accept that.

But I'd rather you call me and talk to me about something else. And unravel your mind that way, because that's what I usually do. When I'm a little stuck, I'll call somebody. I'll call the motherfucker two in the morning. And I'll unravel with him. And then if he gets to the core of it, then I'll tell him. Like, I have a friend Mike Duffy that I've known since Colorado. I've known him since grammar school, really, his family, his father.

I met his father before I knew him. We've been talking a lot the last couple days because we're both hurting over a friend. He's hurting over his son going into the army and he's all alone, you know, and it's ugly to be 59 and to be all alone in your home, you know, and a lot of people going through some rough stuff right now. Another dear friend of mine lost his parent this year. He's going through some shit. You know, I saw a dear friend. We have a dear friend that's going through some stuff right now. He lost his dad about two Christmases ago, and I see it. And this year, like two of the three people, I have not spoken to, because I just remembered this topic just fucking, you know, I thought about it when I was in New York, a lot about it

because it was back in my neighborhood. The one day we were going to the Metropolitan Museum of Art and we were supposed to turn on 86th Street. And I told the cab, the Uber driver, to turn on 88th Street instead so I could see my old building. and I saw the Christmas holidays and I saw the Christmas holidays on Amsterdam and as I went to the Met

was when I started thinking about it how if it wasn't for my wife and daughter New York it would have just been another day for me but since I had my wife and daughter in the car and they were happy you know you should have seen my daughter's face at the fucking Radio City musical now would I go to that thing on my own with my wife Fuck no

Fuck no But even my wife Just to see the smile In her face While she was holding the baby up And the baby would sit next to me And then she would go back And then I passed out for two fucking hours

I fell asleep At the radio city music or rockette show You know embarrassed I was When I woke the fuck up That's what dads do Oh my God I put the 3D glasses on And just passed the fuck out

But Just doing that The next day going to New York and walking around. And that's when all those memories came back to me. Like, I still remember going to the tree with my friends. Being in, like, 13 in the 8th grade, and lying to my mom, telling my mom that we were going to go somewhere.

And we take the bus over, go to Rockefeller Center, go see the tree, and there'd be a bunch of kids singing. And me and my friends would sit there like, look at these fucking, Momo singing like you know like my I would think to myself not really my friend as much as I would Because I never felt that never felt the joy to fucking want to sing You know like I don't like that so I'm just trying to say is that listen man If you don't feel it through the holidays You're not alone

For years I felt That I was the only person that was going through this and it meant made me feel fucking terrible inside. Like it made you feel like a scrooge. You're not a scrooge. You're just not a fucking holiday person. And something must have happened. You know what happened. Which makes, you know, I always tell people, one of your parents die or somebody close to you dies. Sometimes in life, it's like taking salt out of your food. It's like you're still eating food every day, but it's not salty. It doesn't have that flavor to it. That's what happened. That's what happens when you lose a loved one and a holiday comes.

That holiday isn't the same because, so I get all that shit. But what I'm trying to explain to you people is not to feel bad that you're not fucking Elvis Presley jumping up and down for joy. It's normal. You don't have to go see a psychiatrist. You don't have to go see anything. You just, because trust me, I beat myself. up over this for fucking years and I can't tell you how many Christmases I was doing well that I just fell asleep like I couldn't wait for the holiday because I

knew I could sleep for two or three days and then I would get revved up again for New Year's Eve and I'd be ready to go like I am now like now I'm ready for the fucking year to start like I'm ready to fucking go I want Oxnard to be over do oxenard tomorrow Friday and Saturday tonight Friday and Saturday and then fucking that's it and then I got a whole week of waiting

you got a whole week because this town ain't doing nothing until Wednesday which is the second right yeah absolutely not nothing's happening so for a guy like me yeah I got shit to do like a rat I wrote today I went to jitia today into the private

my man Vinnie I could do shit but it's not the type of action like all my other action is shut down we could still do the podcast which is great I mean we could have taken off we took off last week we could have taken off but no

I wanted somebody especially this shit this topic where people are feeling this right now still and they're going to listen to this podcast and go oh I was I thought I was the only one that felt that way no I did this podcast because I wanted you to know

that you're not alone There's no chemical imbalance. There's no nothing. Some people like broccoli. Some people don't. You know, the other day, Lee came over the house with his mom, and they were kind enough to stop at Gelson's, right? And get cupcakes or something?

Yeah. And I saw Lee open up a cupcake. I never saw anything like that in my life. It was the neatest cupcake. If you looked at Lee, you thought he had a fucking lobster tail in front of him with a piece of pussy next to him. stood on the side. I watched the whole cupcake go down,

but he did it so politely. Like he had a paper towel under it. He had a plan for this cupcake. Then he took the wrapper off the cupcake very meticulously. He didn't want to mess up the frosting. And if I'm correct, I think he even used a fork. Absolutely. That's how much it was as meticulous

as I've ever seen anybody eat a fucking cupcake. Really? I hate... There's nothing I hate more. And this is why I think the, fly thing bothers me. I might not be super organized, but I hate like getting sticky or getting stuff on my, it drives me bananas. So the thought of getting like cup, because there's a lot of frosting on it, the thought, especially at your house, like not, like at my house, I can wipe it off or go wash my hands, but it's somewhere, somewhere else in front of people. I got a bathroom.

No. I, I, it, my mom has a joke that when I was a kid, she, could leave me on a towel outside because I didn't like the feeling of grass on my like it was like it was prickly so I don't I don't like all that I don't I don't like frosting on me I I don't go and get wings out because I can't imagine how like very rarely I hate it's out yeah what are you like if you go out to go to like buffalo wild wings or a place to get the only place I've got wings with you is that place and I think it was Austin the hotel had really good wings but if you look I have like 18 napkins in front of me Because there's no way I'm leaving that on my face.

Especially around my mom and then your wife and daughter, you don't want to make an ass of yourself. Doug, you make an ass of yourself doing everything else. What's the difference between fucking... Merry Christmas. What the difference between eating a cupcake? Like, it's the last fucking steak on earth. My point was that the way you looked at that cupcake, I didn't give a fuck about a cupcake. I don't give a fuck about cupcakes.

But the way you looked at that cupcake, you meant business. Absolutely. You ripped the things off, you cut it with a fork. To me, I would just eat the cupcake in two fucking bites because I'm an Ali-Mali. So that's what I'm trying to say. We beat ourselves up too much. We beat ourselves up too much.

And you're talking to the king of beating himself up. Nobody beats themselves up more than I do. That's why I smoked the weed. I smoked a weed so I could think about what I did to the fucking precision and then beat myself up along the fucking way. Why I did this? Why I said that that's the reason why I smoke wheat. Weed keeps me in check.

It always has and always will be. It plays the tape back and it makes me remember what I did, why I did it, and what made me fucking do it. So this is what I'm just trying to say to you people that, again, the holidays are not for you. That's fine. They don't have to be.

there is a holiday that's for you. Maybe you go fucking bananas during the 4th of July. Maybe you feel like marching during Martin Luther King Day. I don't fucking know. But that's the whole point of this fucking podcast tonight. That and something else. The thing that made my dick hard today was that Sunday, Christmas Eve, I had to go to the other side of town.

And I stopped in CVS. And I got my fucking day planner for 2019. and I got my notebook for 2019, even though I didn't need it. And it's so weird that to me, right now today, it's 2019. And I'll tell you something, if you want to get anything accomplished next year, you should be playing right now like it's 2019 already. Right now you're shooting pool. You're putting the balls, you're setting up the field for your 2019 to be easier.

I already started writing my goals to 2019. I already started to figure out I wanted to do things. I talked to the book agent and told them where I was. You know, I'm already setting up. Like Lee, that's what I did today. I talked to a few agents today. I mean, I am the type of guy that in my mind, it's 2019. I want everybody to know that you ain't going to wait

to the 15th of the month when you're fucking with me. We go right to work. Wednesday the second. Right to work. We go right to work. Like nothing happened. There's nothing I could do before that. Nothing you can do.

You're just going to be calling an empty fucking phone. I bumped into somebody the other night, some girl at the comedy store Sunday night. And she was asking me if I knew who wanted a job. I go, now is not the time of the year. And then she goes, well, I'm also trying to get an agent. I go again, now is not the time of the year. She goes, well, I'm going to go out on Thursday and put on a bunch of emblems. So I go to who?

A bunch of dead people? they're not coming back to the seventh. And to top it off, mentally, they're not going to be there till you have to imagine the 10th or the 11th. There's not going to be no mental. You're still thinking about the holidays and what you spent and flying back

and your kid got sick and your cat vomited. And, you know, so you have so many fucking things that are on your mind. There's different parts of the year where you're thinking of things. For me, I'm not doing anything, but I am doing something. I'm setting up my year.

I am setting up my year. And this is the same thing. I'm no smarter than you fucking guys. This is the same thing you motherfucker should be doing. Yeah, tomorrow you have work. Friday you have work. Start thinking about this at work. Start thinking about this tomorrow instead of watching TV.

Go for a walk. Take a pad and a piece of pen with you. And figure out what things you want to do next. shit what things are you sick and fucking tired and not doing that you need to fucking do already I've been out of it like already I'm starting to do this shit already I told you nobody beats themselves up more than I do last night I got up at four in the fucking morning I stayed up for about 35 minutes I got so high I had to go right back to bed I'm not gonna lie about it I got some tremendous

fucking weed I take a picture of it tonight I got so fucking high last night I went back to bed to eight and morning. I went to bed about 10 last night. Damn. That is good weed. Quarter to 10, I was out fucking cold. And I got up at 4 wide awake with a thousand things to write. I got up, I peed, I made a fucking cup of coffee. I thought I was going to have to stay up.

I'm just going to stay up and go to a jihitsu at 11 with Vinny. And dog, I went in the back and smoked this fucking weed. And I got so high, I'm like, oh my God, even with the coffee, I got to go back to bed. And I went back in that bedroom. I put my head down and my heart was beat. Like, I'm not going to fall asleep. Next thing you know, I opened up.

There was 7.58. And I'm like, I like it. I got a fucking couple of hours in me. I'm rested. But when I woke up, I looked over what I wrote. And it was my goals. Like personal goals, weight goals, comedy goals. You know, like all that time.

Like, I started right now. down like comedy for example you know i want to do 20 weeks and i want to shoot a special and i want to write something different for a special and i started writing down what things i had to do to do that write an hour a day get on stage five times a week you know i put down that i want to go down to 265 that's 21 pounds you know i wrote how am i going to do that by watching my points by being careful with the edibles and smoking weed and going crazy at night with the fucking munchies. I pretty much little by a little lemonade,

everything out of the house at night, late night, except for the fucking two-point jello puddings. Those jello puddings are two points. I can eat those all fucking day at night. I can eat two of those little fucking good. And nobody gets that feelings hurt. Cosby gets a nickel, you know, and everybody's already.

He can buy fucking vizine for his glossy eyes. balls and shit so you can fucking try to rape somebody in prison that poor best and uh yeah if you're not getting your 219 in order you're fucking slipping you really are like you should already have your notebook you should already just start writing down if you want to go to college what you want to do while you're in college what things you want to look at anybody can write that gold's down this is what I learned from writing goals out that that anybody But even if you can write, yeah, I want a Mercedes. But how are you going to get a Mercedes?

Yeah, I want a new wife. How are you going to get a new wife? Once you write that how out, that's where the power comes from. It's like when you lift weights. You don't lift weights. You don't gain strength from the push. It's from the pullback, from how you resist. It's the same thing with golds.

When you write your golds down, I love when people send me goals. and they're like, I want to do this. I want to be an astronaut. I want to make a million dollars. Tell me how you're going to make a million dollars. What is your plan? If you write it out to the fucking T, as crazy as this sounds, I swear to God,

as crazy as this fucking sounds, when it happens, you will go back and look over this thing, and it won't be exactly how you said it was going to happen, but it'll be pretty fucking close. because a man without a plan is not a man. So write it out. You know, I wrote out that I wanted to do a new special. I wanted to be centralized around the story

and then jokes coming from that story. If I'm a good storyteller, I've got to utilize these things. And it was so weird how already, from doing, I didn't write the story yet, I wanted to say or anything, but from writing out the story and the way I wanted to attack it,

I filled out like three quarters of a page. You're going to notice that your own mind will tell you what you already know. Years ago, I told you, everybody buys an iPhone and an iPad. You, I, have the answers to your fucking problems. You just don't want to fucking look at them and be honest with yourself. That's what being grounded really, really comes in. You have to look at yourself and go, these are my fucking shortcomings. and there's nothing I can do about it.

These are my shortcomings. And there's nothing I can fucking do about it. What am I going to do? Well, I could either let them be shortcomings or I could work on them and they're still going to be shortcomings, but they're going to be a little stronger. And that's what I did this year

with a lot of different situations. And for some reasons, for some things that worked for me, and for some things it didn't, it's me being as grounded as I can. Number one, I have you guys. to keep me in check. Number two, I talk to my friends at home every fucking day.

They keep me in check. I never want to forget about who the fuck are. And if I'm slipping, I should know because of the results. When you're slipping, you know because of the results you're getting. I did three spots. I stayed on stage for two weeks. I went on stage Saturday, which is the fucking disaster. And I went on stage twice Sunday.

They were both disasters. The timing was off. The jokes were off. Everything was fucking off. I know this. So yesterday, that night when I got home Sunday, obviously, I went to the drawing board a little bit. But Monday, Christmas Eve was when I really realized the mistakes I had made.

And there was nothing you could do. It was called ring rust and laziness. That's what happened. It was ring rust and laziness. Not lazy because I didn't get on stage. You should always. give it a breather, especially with stand up, especially after you've gone through a long stretch

to get rid of the bad mistakes you're doing. When I was a basketball player, I had a bad mistake I used to do. I would grab the rebound and then throw it down and then go up. When you grab a rebound, you don't put the ball down. You go right back up with it. So for years, I made this horrible mistake. Sometimes on stage, you make mistakes. you stick on to a saying you shouldn't be saying.

There's something in your jokes that you shouldn't be saying. I promised myself that when I went to New York, I was going to look over my jokes and rewrite them, get rid of the Terry Cruz stuff, get a new clothes or when I went back to New York between not feeling well and always being on the move, I didn't really have a chance to look over it. When I got back, I looked over it for two days,

but it wasn't sufficient time to go on stage and prepare. I'm not making an excuse for myself. I'm telling you the reasons why I fail. I know what I fail on stage. And I try to correct it, so when I go out in front of the big stages, like this weekend in Oxnard, I'm fucking prepared for that.

A lot of people can't deal with that. A lot of people don't like when people say something to them about them. Me, I'm the type of person. I don't like somebody to say something to me about it. I should feel it. I should know it. I should see what the fuck is going on.

So this is just a couple things just to get your 219 started. If life hasn't been going your way, maybe start taking some advice. Maybe start asking people for help. You know, just because it works for fucking Lee doesn't mean it's going to work for you. Just because it works for Joey Diaz doesn't mean it's going to work for you. Just because it means it works for you. doesn't mean it's going to work for Joey Dia. But I will tell you one thing that works constantly,

and that's writing down your goals. And that's yearly, quarterly, and monthly, and if you really want to push it, go weekly. I do all four. I do what I want from the year, and I look back at what I wanted from this year. And let me tell you something, I got everything except two guest spots on TV shows.

I went for four. I got two. So I was halfway there, you know. I looked at how many times I auditioned. I didn't even have the opportunity to fucking book the two other ones because I only went out for like three other fucking shows all year. I only went on seven auditions this year. Compared to what, 10 years ago?

240. Wow. And I'm going with three theatrical auditions a week and two commercial auditions a week. So now... I'm going with 12. theatricals, right? And fucking eight commercials.

So I would, I would do 20 auditions a month. From 1997 to 2007. That was pretty much the fucking, that was pretty much it.

Especially for a guy like me. Especially after the Sopranos. How many fucking opportunities opened up? I went on seven fucking auditions this year. Unless something changes the next four fucking days, unless you guys know, I got two movies offered to me. Thank you very much.

The people offered them to me, but there were movies that were both out of state and I had already prior fucking commitments. But that's how slow the TV and movie business has been for me. But I put four guest stars on four different shows, and I got two. I put a special down I put 20 weeks of work down

and I put the right 30 new minutes of material I did all of them so do you put the ones that you missed on next year next year is next year next year I want something different okay so for next year I want something different no you never tag on next year you want a different

set of fucking goals every year is something different And it's, I want you to, when you're writing your goals, yeah, you want life goals and you want success goals. But I'll tell you what's the pages that should be even bigger is your personal goals. Weight, attitude, you know, all that shit. That goes in there with it. I started doing that one about 10 years ago.

Well, maybe about seven years ago. And I started lightning up. I could feel my life lightning up. little bit once I started writing because it's important it's important to notice stress it's important to notice pressure it's important to notice unhappiness it's important to notice so many things as they touch your life so you don't absorb them do you follow I'm saying to you frustration with your job you you ever have a job and you you go to work early every day and you're like you know what man I want to promote

And also some guy comes in, he's got a college degree, and he gets the promotion. That's frustration. You know what, quit your fucking job. Because they already touched you with frustration. It's going to grow inside of you. You're going to continue to go to that job, see that boss, see that guy. Yeah, he might get five, then you might get the job. But they didn't want to give you the job in the first place.

So you don't really want to be there. Situation is like that. When things touch you, that's the job. it because if they touch you and you feel that it's only going to get worse for you you know unhappiness you know uneasiness if you're stressed out by a job like you're fucking 80 hours a week and they don't tell you what to do and you know they want results all those little things they take away from your fucking who you are you don't know it and you don't see it at 20 and 30 near that I.

I see it now. I see how happy I am now that once I notice it, the neck hair stick up and you either could proceed or step back. If you proceed, you're going to get the same results.

You always got the rest of your fucking life. If you step back, you might lose a little bit of money, you might lose a little bit of fucking work, but you know what? You gain peace of mind. and you gain two years on your fucking life, which is the most important fucking thing

at the end of the fucking... You know, it's so weird, but I... This is why, again, it's a joke, but I fucking hated that whole thing of 30 years ago. Because 30 years ago, if you would ask me my goals, the first one I would write down

would be money. Money, money, money, money. I wanted money. I wanted money. I didn't have a reason why I wanted it. I didn't know how I was going to make it. I just, the number one thing would be money. Not to keep up with the Joneses so I could do Coke and drive a testeroza. And about 15 years ago, I found the happiness in life. And even though me and my wife lived in a one bedroom apartment with six cats and the apartment smelled like cat piss, we had air conditioner. We had cable TV. We had a microwave.

The refrigerator was always filled with food. And that's the first time that I gained real happiness in my life on my own. And I still remember sitting on that, God, we used to not even have a couch. What's that shit? The futon. We had a futon that I broke. We had a crazy glue and put two by 12s in it. You know, it was like Ralphie's, Ralphie broke everybody's futon in town.

Oh, everybody had a futon and broke it. He broke it. From the guy that opened this door is up to us, the boxer, but I still got to get on the podcast, Medina, to there was Gavin Boyds. He broke Gavin Boyd's, fucking whatever. He broke somebody else's. He broke like three or four of those fucking futons.

From that futon in Hollywood, that was the first time. I haven't looked around. We had an apartment, bro. There was an earthquake. The walls were. There was an earthquake once when I lived in that building, and I could hear the bricks hitting each other.

It was the scariest building in the world. It's hell. They retrofitted it, but all we need is a 3.5 earthquake, and that building's going down. It didn't matter. I remember sitting on the couch with one of the cats. At that time, I was doing Coke.

I was still doing Coke when I remember I was saying, you know what? I'm a lot happier now than what I was. 10 years ago and I don't have three quarters of the shit I want. But I had a girlfriend that cared for me. I had these cats that I loved. And I had a semi little comedy career going on at the comedy store. I was working.

I was acting. I was like, fuck, I just shot this with James Colburn. I just did this. You know, I was happy. And there was no money. There was no money. There was maybe $80 in an ATM account. And my wife had $6 or $700 functioning dollars for the house that, you know,

if we wrote a check, we would balance it just like anybody else in America, you know, just like anybody else in America, you know. So it's just really weird that I remember going, wow, I have $80 in a checking account and I have a checking account. Life ain't that bad. and this whole time I thought I needed a million dollars you don't you don't I'd rather you have a job that you enjoy

three people that you like around you a home that suits your needs you know yeah everybody wants a house with a fucking butler who lights your cigarettes and you can walk around naked and there's 15 chicks hanging upside down with that mouth open that's all great and fucking dandy but how many of us could really get that

none of us so we get the bedroom we get whatever the fuck we want and that's happiness it's not half the shit that right now you're young and you're thinking this guy drives this and this guy drives that listen doesn't really fucking matter what you drive at the end because when you're in that fucking casket do you think they're going to sit around you and go oh he drove a fucking Lamborghini all his life no they're all going to sit around you and go what a poor bastard you are for drinking milk and you got a heart attack fucking somebody on viagra or the fuck you know that was dumb and that's it and that's that man that's what I

wanted to talk about I wanted to talk about the feelings that we got around this time of the year and how for years I felt shitty about them and at the end of the day they don't matter it's just not your cup of tea and I wanted to talk about prepping for the next year if you ain't fucking prepping you're slipping so please once you listen to this podcast before the weekend starts you've been having some rough times in your life maybe the opioids maybe a fucking animal died maybe a loved one died maybe you got five maybe you have to switch careers you know what write yourself out of this jam you don't need to be hemingway trust me i'm no fucking

hemmy way i've written myself out of these jams by just sitting down being honest with that notebook hey if you're scared this i hide this notebook that i have hit you I have a hidden notebook. What do you have any hidden notebook? I have a shit that I just write in there from time to time. I want one person to find it. My wife will know how to find it. She doesn't know about it, but she'll know how to find it.

And I've told her about it. So when she finds it, she doesn't know exactly what it is. Is it like a diary? No, it's a notebook that I write to my daughter. Oh, okay. It's a book that I write to mercy. I try to write in there three times a week, and I compare our lives.

I tell how strong she is, how well she's doing. And I try to tell her what I was doing at my age at that life. You know, I try to tell different things. So she never feels like I feel growing up. If something happens to my parents, I want her to know who I was through my own words. Just something from Watson's Sons ahead. No, yeah, it's a great idea.

My copy from Sonsa Anika, I thought it was a great idea. Don't like that you really know, you don't hear nothing. You get to read their thoughts. Reading some of these thoughts are very important, you know. Social media is social media. If you, there's times I write what's in my heart on social media, but there's times I really can't because people lose their fucking mind. Is it hard to be that honest with the notebook?

No, you have to be honest with something You have to be honest with something Like I said, I have the hidden notebook And I have like two other notebooks And I'm honest with all three of those notebooks Because otherwise it can't work, I would assume No, it will now work When I get home from that set

When I get home at night There's one more page I write in my notebook And that's how my day went How my workout went How the podcast went where I want the podcast to go I ate too much fish for dinner but at least you're getting it on paper

nothing is more powerful than the fucking pen the power of the pen and I'll sit here for 200 podcasts a year and I'll tell people that the pen is the end of all their fucking problems because it was the end of all my problems nothing really moved forward

till I started writing. And once I started writing about the past and reading it, then I really launched. Then I really took off. And I'm not, and dog, I took no writing classes in college. I took nothing. I don't know nothing. I know how to tell a story.

But telling a story and writing a story are two different fucking things. So there's times I write like I talk, and I wake up the next morning, and it's fucking three pages of garbage. because I write like I talk. Writing a story and telling a story is two different fucking things. But writing the truth

is a fucking huge thing on a piece of paper. About how you did, about a certain behavior, about something you said, about a lie you're told. Once you clear it up on paper, somebody's going to find that someday, somebody might not find that someday.

it doesn't matter you came clean and coming clean is good for the soul coming clean is good to move ahead and coming clean is phenomenal for comedy because you empty all that shit out of your head because once you tend to become a comedian it's like me every day i sprinkle fucking grass seeds in your head and you got to figure out what works for you and what doesn't. If not, you'll die of bombings. Right. Which you die of anyway, you know, I did the same thing. But this teaches you how to die less bombings.

By having a notebook, you know, like I said, the artist's way years ago, 20 years ago, was a big hot book there. And I asked somebody what it was that says, when you wake up in the morning, write a blank piece of paper and write your thoughts out, write all that. babble out of your head I had been doing it already I'm like I can't believe that I've been doing what they recommended here and it works honestly it sounds like the reason why I like therapy is just to get those thoughts out of your head and you're able to do it just in an in a different way do you ever speak it when you're writing it or it's all you're all very quiet

it's all in my head sometimes I'll be laying down sometimes I'll be in a conversation thinking about how I'm going to write it or like sometimes I'll be in the room my wife watching the TV show and we should be focusing on the show but I'm thinking about how I'm going to write this thing down that I just thought about and where it's going to be placed. How do you feel if you don't get to do this journaling? I'll feel irritated for a few days until I'll get it out. Because sometimes I just get caught up in the moment

like everything else, and I forget to write it. And it's like having a joke before you go to sleep at night and thinking that you're going to remember in the morning. There's no worse feeling than laughing in bed at two in the morning and going, fuck, let me turn out of light and write this down and going, that motherfucker was so funny. I remember what the fuck I said in the morning. And when you wake up in the morning, listen, I'll give you $2,000.

You ain't got to remember shit Unless you write it the fuck down or tell somebody Now I just get up and write it down Because I've lost so many wars Over not getting up and writing a stupid joke Or just writing a key word from the joke or something You know Hey whatever

Whatever floats your boat man We're all different here I do this podcast to let you know it's okay to be fucked up it's not okay to be fucked up and live in fucking denial it's okay to be fucked up and say you know what I'm fucked up I got good days

and I got bad days like everybody else that's why I do this fucking podcast just like you guys we all fucking put up pants on one lick at a time and we all bleed when we get cut so that's it and that's that it's a church of what's happened now on a Thursday afternoon

if you're not doing anything tonight tomorrow or Saturday night myself Lee and the flaming fucking gay fireball of debt Eric Rocher will be fucking kicking ass up there up at fucking Levity Live and Oxnard. That's if you're not doing nothing, all right? If you got plans, you know me. You got to live and let live.

I'll catch the next time. I do a lot of spots around town. But if you ain't doing dick and you're bored and you want to smell some Rifa and see how some fucking savages live, whether you live in Ventura, Santa Barbara, Tappatio, what's Fido Beach, where you like? Pismo Beach.

Pismo Beach. Come on down, coxuckers. We'll be sparking. We're doing the whole fucking thing. I'm bringing some special edibles for leaving. We got these 500-mogram fucking brownies. They're like a leak off. They're strong as fuck.

They were stronger than debt. You understand me? Are these the one that George gave you? Don't worry about who gave them to me. No names. You understand me? No names. You never say no fucking names.

Don't worry about who gave it to you. We just got them. they just appeared and we got like 10 more that we got to eat by the end of the weekend you understand me perfect so the rest of the weekend was splitting them every night 500 milligrams we're going deeper than deep old school you understand because every once a while i gave up the edibles but this edible agrees with me i got to be honest for you whenever you ever given up the edible you just have less i gave up edibles for like three months then i ate a piece in boston it was terrible and then they didn't eat them again and then george shawes

up with these brownies what happened to no names and one night on the way home what happened to no names no names George showed up no names and uh he gave me this and sat in the closet and one night it was sitting there was like 9 30 this let me buy the bit off i bit a bit off i got so fucked up and i gave it away i gave it to a friend of mine he told me the next next time i saw him he's like jesus christ what's in those things and i'm like they are pretty fantastic i'm gonna make I wanted my closet and found another one. And then my man dropped five off on me the other day.

I had to give one to my buddy. You got to pay the Vig. And then I gave two to my other buddy, and I kept two. And then last night he came up, my man dropped off a fucking box. So to make sure we're covered for fucking Oxnard. So there's no misunderstandings. You understand me? Thank goodness.

We wouldn't want that to happen. And they even got a little CBD all in there. I put a little extra something and get a little piece. tonight. I know. It was crunchy at some point. You did something. Yeah, I knew you're going to get it. God damn. I'm going to hook you up. I got to take good care. Don't even ask what I gave you. Even if you go for the drug test, they won't say. I'll just drug test myself. They won't find it. They won't be in there. But, yo, we'll be back Monday, New Year's Eve, ready to say bon voyage to 2019. 18. It was a good year. You got your

health. You got a friend and you got us, man. We got each other. Before we fucking check out of here, you know me, dog, I don't care what size business you got. Whether it's small, big 10 employees, 12 employees, 20 employees, hiring employees is tough, you know, and you got to be smart with it.

Where are you going to get your employee? From job boards that send you candidates that aren't qualified for the road you posted, on job boards that send you a mile high stack of resumes to sort through, or job boards that make you wait for the right people apply for your job. You know, listen, you know what smart is? The smart is going to ziprecruiter.com slash church to hire the right person. Unlike most other job sites, zip recruiter finds qualified

candidates for you. It's a powerful matching technology that scans thousands of resumes to identify people with the right skills, education, and experience, and actively invites them to a to your specific job so you get the qualified candidates mucho rapido. That means fast because time is money. You know that as a business owner. That's why zip recruiters rated number one by employers in the U.S. And this rating comes from hiring sites on trust pilot with over a thousand reviews. Do you understand what I'm trying to say to you?

You post a job on several online job boards. get nothing. You get nothing. Then you got to sort through the resumes. You get nothing and you get the wrong resume. ZipRecruiter.com slash church. That's the way to go. You understand me? The technology is the best. And right now, the church family, I'm going to get your zip recruiter for free. You're like, Joey, how could this be? I got a small business. I only got four people got free. ZipRecruiter for free. Go to zip recruiter.com. Go to zip recruiter.com. slash church. C-H-U-R-C-H.

If you love this show and you want to support us and help us out, and help yourself by getting a tremendous employee, go to ZipRecruiter.com slash church. That's C-H-U-R-C-H. That's ZipRecruiter.com slash church. We're just talking about you getting your fucking life together. It's 2019. When is it going to fucking end?

And this goes for me too. You understand me? I get my little slipping points to them. I got to lie to you. Because I do it every other month to give my brain. Alpha brain is the way to go. Write your fucking goals down. Get your fucking alpha brain.

Listen, alpha brain is so good. It's on its flagship supplement. It's so good. They believe in it. That if you get alpha brain and it don't help you out, you get 100% money back guarantee you to keep the fucking pills. Okay? What other company does that?

Tell me, nobody. Go to audit.com right now and press. Church, boom! And get 10% off delivered right to the crib, right there, no drama. No, no nothing. And I'm not talking about just supplements. I'm talking about kettlebells, weighted vest, I'm talking about club bats.

I'm talking about Shroom Tech Sports, Shroom Tech Immune. I'm talking about tremendous protein. I'm talking about things that will change your life. Go to honor.com right now and press in church and get 10% off your first order delivered right to your door. I want to thank ZipRecruiter.com slash church and on it.com slash church for sponsoring the church of what's happened now. But most importantly, I want to thank you guys for having my back, having Lee's back. And that's it and that's that. It's fucking Thursday.

Go out there sling some dick. Do it over the weekend. So you mind your business on New Year's Eve. And you don't get stabbed in the fucking. kidding you all right nobody wants to spend the second and the third of fucking January when rent is due in the fucking hospital because you want to go to a stupid party get your fucking loads out this weekend

and mind your business we'll be back Monday morning new year's fucking eve 6 a.m. ready to rock tip top take this motherfucker mulee thing let me light to candle calls a mama I'm show all the hand and a yeah around lap to candle calls a mama I'm show all the hand and that

Let me let me laugh your kennel calls her mama I'm sure all the hen and that This around Oh Let me laugh You can't calls her mama I'm sure the hand and that Just around