The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #653 - Duncan Trussell

Episode Date: January 28, 2019

Duncan Trussell, a comedian and the host of the "Duncan Trussell Family Hour" podcast, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio. This podcast is brought to you by:   Squarespace - start your free trial today. When you're ready to build your website go to www.squarespace.com/church for 10% off your first domain or website.    Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.    Recorded live on 01/27/2019.
  

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motherfucking house. All right. Take this fucking mule, Lee. Oh shit. Here you go. You thought we were coming out light on a Monday morning. Are you fucking kidding me or what? Because at the end of the day, it's the truth.

Groove is in the heart, motherfuckers. What? Monday morning, cock suckers. Get it together. Duncan Trusel. The Christ killer. Uncle Joey, there we go. Shake that ass.

Duncan fucking Trousel on a Monday morning. Who's better than us? Thank you for having me, man. It's so cool. This is so wonderful to finally be on your show. This is the first time you've been at this studio. Yeah, that's right. Have I been on your show before?

Yeah. On the phone, but not in studio. A live one of the ice house, not in studio. Really? Oh, live one of the ice house. The night that you sent us when we did the acid, and you sent us the video of the transgender guy. Yeah.

With Harry, you couldn't tell what he had a pussy. I don't think he was. He just had a small penis. He started singing, dancing to Mexican music. I sent that to everybody. I said that night. I remember it was a great joy to hear you laughing and knowing that I had sent that. to you it was awesome and the only person who got pissed at me to send it to him was

Rogan I got tons of Christians on there Rogan was like what the fuck is that man how you doing I'm good man I'm doing good congratulations on fatherhood thank you I mean when I had my child you were the first one at the hospital with a camera yeah with the breakfast that's right we spoke about the future and here we are six years later in the seats are reversed unbelievable what do you think when was the child born The third. Just, what do you think? It's the best.

25 days into fall, though. Yeah. And what are you thinking so far? It's, well, it's like I have had more experience with death than birth. So, because I've watched both my parents die. And what's wild about it is it reminds me this thing. I heard opposite stand back to back. And so there's all these similarities in birth and death.

That it's the complete opposite. So in death, you've got the hospice worker who comes. In birth, you have the midwife. In death, when people are dying, they like, something else enters the room. Like, it's amazing. It's beautiful. It's calming. It's the opposite of what you might think it would be.

It's like, it reminds you of something. It's that sense of like, you know, when you can almost remember a song, but you can't remember it. But it's like, what is this is something. I know what this is. but it's surreal you know it's like there's a thing you've ever heard of a pha light you ever heard of pha light no so when someone's dying they have a kind of light around them sometimes i had this guy on who does who studies uh death people who come back who like were brain dead or their heart stopped and it's a fascinating phenomenon because all over the planet they all report the same fucking thing but i was

what do they say when they come back so it goes it's like you use the light thing you see a light. You see yourself, your body, but you look different than the way you look in a mirror because you're seeing yourself for the first time. Because when you look at yourself in the mirror, you're just seeing yourself a reflection. But in this way, you look different apparently than you thought you looked. And then I guess like hearing your voice for the first time on a tape recorder. And then also you, what's called the life review happens, which is you sort of,

We think of it in the movies they usually show it like you're like watching a TV or something. And it's like you're like Scrooge or some shit watching what you did. But there's more of a sense of not just watching it, but feeling the way you made everyone around you feel. And so you feel the way you made the people around you feel. And there's some justice in there and some sadness in there and some, you know, love in there and joy in there. And you just feel how you impacted the world while you were there. And then, like, universally, this is around the planet, they report this, a fucking, like, monkey comes running out of the darkness and fucks your mouth for like 10 minutes.

And then that's usually you wake back up in your body. But the monkey thing, they don't talk about a lot. It's really fucking weird. But that's universe. That would ruin it for me. I would fucking ruin it for me. I just saw my life. I just remembered all the highlights of my life that I yearn to see.

Yeah. There was a movie that was released in the 70s called Beyond and Back. And I've never been able to find it. It was in the movie theaters. I paid to go see it about people who had death experiences, came back and reported what they saw. Yeah. I was involved in something when I was a kid where I wasn't in the room,

but I was tight with the brother and the mom and the whole family. She had a brain tumor. and that night she went into a coma or something like that in the middle of the night she snapped out of the coma and said open the window my grandfather wants me to go she was tied with her grandfather and they were like what are you saying and she's like just open the window my grandpa wants me to go

upon and she ended up living she doesn't remember I asked her years later we had grown up together and I go when you went under where did you go and she goes it was just warm. Yeah. She goes, I just felt warm.

So I've always believed, you were saying that would cross the street from a funeral ball. That's right. And I was like, I've always lived close to something to do with a funeral. I've always had death around me. And it's very sad. But it's death and birth are very similar.

Yeah. You do feel, I've been in the room for two birts and I've been in one room when somebody was dead. I found them dead. And then I've been to tons of funerals. That's why I don't go to wakes because of that feeling. Right. But even at a wake, there's a sense of warmth in the room.

Yeah. That's right. Even at a wake, how sad and morbid it is, there is a sense of warmth. Yeah. Beyond warmth. I mean, it's a, you know, we're just figuring things. out here as a species we're just figuring things out and one of the qualities of being a human these days is you just sort of naturally think we figured everything out you know like it's a thing

you just say oh yeah no no we know now that this or that but we don't know anything man we don't know anything i said this crow researcher on my podcast she discovered the crows are necrophiliacs you know crows fuck the corpses of dead crows they just found that out they didn't know that 5% of crows, if a crows are on a dead body, five percent of crows will fuck it. And then another crow will, like, land on the crow and fuck the crow. They just found that out. That's, like, new data. But I was asking her other stuff.

You know, she's studying birds and, like, there's so much we just have no idea about birds. Do animals fear death, do you think? Well, the crows have funerals for, like, when a crow encounters a dead crow, it calls other crows into the area. So all these other crows land around the dead crow. and they react to it in a very specific way. Elephants, when they find bones, they like lift them up and like seem to have some connection with them.

So there's like a few animals besides humans who sort of react to death with some sense of realizing that this is sad. This is mournful. This is, there's something in it that's poignant. But, you know, man, we're like, we think, so we don't know. Death is the great unknown. Big question mark. We have no fucking idea what it is.

Some people think nothing, nothingness. Absolute oblivion. You're gone forever. I don't believe that. Well, I think it's, I don't either, but I think. It would be a fucking hilarious if it is the truth. But something that I've lived through as a 56-year-old man tells me there's something out there. Oh, yeah.

There's people who look over us. There's angels. There's something. There's something. I just did the Danny Brown thing. and we talked about ghosts and I know for a fact for a fact

and this is Joey talking to you as a man when the house I grew up in the North Bergen that house had ghosts and it disgruntled ghosts yeah disgruntled ghost that I had to move out of there for two years I went to school I lived that was my house my mother that was my family yeah but I stayed at a friend's house

the whole sixth grade year and half the seventh grade I stayed in my house. I stayed away from the house. And then after my mother died, was when I found out that a guy killed himself in the garage. He did the whole

closed the garage and, you know. Carbon monoxide. Carbon monoxide. And then when we were kids, we would walk around and there was woods. And on our block, there was a big brick wall. Yeah.

And they told us that it was an orphanage. When we were growing up, and then somebody about seven years ago put something up on Facebook. The real story about the giving that orphanage, and it was on giving that terrace in Charles Court. And there was an orphanage that burnt down. And a bunch of kids died in there. Yeah. So they just took those two blocks. One is a loop block, one of those blocks that you loop around.

Yeah. And giving that terrace is a dead end. so they always said there were the two bad luck blocks. Yeah. So while I lived there, my mother died, the kid two doors died from me,

died when we were growing up. Just something. The energy, even when I go down there now, the house is to sale. Oh. The house is for sale. Your original house? Yeah, where I grew up.

I just see, I still got it on my phone in the picture. Houses for sale it went 3.50. I thought about it for, about two minutes. I know I'd have to sink 200 into it to modernize it to 2019. I thought about it, but then I thought about what lived in that house, what was really,

really, really in that house. And I put a compassion. I heard this shit on Art Bell, the best explanation for ghosts ever, which was it's actually not ghosts. It's time is happening at once. And so, like in a place where some shitty thing happens,

because like we perceive time as like being in the moment that we're in right now. But that suicide is like on repeat. It's happening over and over and over and over. And that's what a ghost is. A ghost is just like a kind of echo, a temporal echo that's sort of like trapped in this dimension and is bouncing around in there. It's like not so much an entity. Though on the other hand, man, I've talked to many people who say, well, yeah, maybe. But there's fucking like a whole ecosystem, so to speak.

of sentient, disembodied beings that are around us at all times. And you say that, you sound crazy, you know, but it wasn't that long ago that people didn't know there were germs. They didn't know there's bacteria. You know, they had no idea. They didn't know you should wash your hands. They didn't know there was. And if you started saying, oh, you know, there's like tiny little evil beings that are actively

trying to kill you, that if you just wash your hands, you're not going to get sick as much, people look at you like you're out of your fucking mind what are you talking about there was a there's a doctor who started recommending that uh other doctors wash their hands before surgery you know when they're delivering babies because the infant mortality rate was so high and he figured out like oh yeah if your hands are dirty are you fucking blame me look it up there used to be a saying a gentleman does not wash his hands you know what I'm saying what year did this change what year that this finally I don't know the year I mean I don't know about you I've been washing me I've been washing me I've been washing me I'm saying I don't know the year that this finally I don't know the year I've been washing me my hands since 19 fucking. I feel dirt on my hands. It drives me crazy. I think it was Lee that's saying that he doesn't like jelly on his hands. I don't like anything sticky. Yeah, 1847.

They first practiced. Are you fucking serious? Yeah, man. I just knew. I don't like my hands dirty. No, dude, doctors were like, would have their fucking hand in a dead body. Just like, what the fuck is this? They didn't know what it was yet. It was like to get just

to get the right to look into a dead body the time it's not like it is now. And then they would go deliver a baby with like fucking nasty corpse blood all over him and just jerk. They don't just pull the baby out and the fucking mother would get like, you know, the very least

vaginosis or something and the baby would get sick. This doctor ended up in a mental asylum. He went crazy because he knew he was right. And other doctors are like, what are you talking about? We don't need to wash our heads. And like he went nuts because he knew he was right.

is there still a lot to be discovered and if everything feels so advanced now I'm like oh there's not much left to be discovered but is there anything? Well this is the great Absolutely that yeah that you know everyone's like talking about conspiracies all the time this conspiracy and that conspiracy

but the real conspiracy is the one against yourself where you trick yourself into thinking we've figured it all out and it's insanity we haven't figured out shit man like half like a huge part of the planet's covered in water we don't know it's down there? You think we know what's down there? We don't know what's down there. And then there's huge swaths

of the planet that are covered in trees, you know, and only just now we're kind of figuring out, not to mention the fucking ice. When that stuff's melting, now we're seeing like formations and structures, finding mammoths and shit in there. But, you know, it's convenient to imagine that because you saw like five episodes of cosmos, you now understand everything about the planet. Not to mention, like, just the obvious shit right in front of us, which is that dolphins have a language that we don't know, but they're talking to each other. Crows talk to each other.

They talk to each other. They're saying shit. And science is like, I don't know what that is. Meanwhile, we're like trying to listen to aliens. We've got massive satellites. China just like invested all this money

in these insane fucking satellites to try to pick up some alien transmission. You think animals, you think cats talk? to each other. I think they work more telepathically. Yeah. I had one situation where I broke up the brothers.

Both of them are dead now. But when we moved, we made a mistake and broke up the brothers. Terry took one brother in one car, and I took the brother in my car, and I beat traffic before her, and I brought him into the apartment first. I never forget this. And I let the three cats I had loose, and Harry was looking for his brother. and he started making a distinct noise I never heard again

like he just started going into an anxiety and he was making this and it wasn't a hiss and nothing it was just this really weird thing and when Terry brought Demi up and let Demi out they both went up to each other and started making that noise I never heard them do it again.

Weird. And I knew that that's when I learned the bond between them. I knew that if something would happen to the other one, the other one couldn't handle it. Sure enough, one died, and the other one died three months later. Wow. That's crazy. I'm not a very religious person, but the older I get, it's unmistakable how, like, how energy is real and, like, how there is a connection between things. Like, is it possible to believe in all, like, this stuff? Like, you were talking about, like, ghosts and energies, but, like, maybe not be, like, religious and

believe in God? Are they separate things or are they the same thing? Yeah, I don't like yeah. Like I think you can definitely like you know, you've ever heard of Robert Anton Wilson? No. He's great. Great writer. Really interesting dude. You know who that is? Robert Anton Wilson? He was a fucking brilliant philosopher. And, you know, he like has a lot of great books. One of them is called Cosmic Trigger. But he talks about like the Illuminani, right? And he says, Can you explain the Illuminati to me from scratch? From scratch? From scratch?

I do not know what half these people are talking about. Yeah. Eddie Bravo talks about it. Yeah. Well, I mean, there's a... Enlightening of the Illuminati. I'll try. I mean, from what I've read, you know, there's like a historic Illuminani that I think started

in Bavaria, you know, which was basically, you know, we have freemasons, masonry. And the Illuminani, it was some kind of society that's... I can't remember the guy's name that was connected to the Masons. And so that's like the, you can, you know, Wikipedia, the Illuminati, it pops up. It's not like a thing someone made up. It was just like a, there's, I guess the best way to put it is, there's a saying, as above so below, right? So if you want to understand, or in small things, all things. So to understand the Illuminani, you could probably think about like the university,

system the way that works, which is like if you want to go to a university, you've got to have good grades in school. And not just that, but you have to demonstrate certain qualities. Like if you want to go to like the Ivy League schools. And then if you do that, you sort of get admitted into the university and then you get like high level data given to you that other people maybe have access to, but they don't get taught it in the way that it's taught at those schools. by just like, you know, people who are just super geniuses, you know, and some of the great ripples in society happen because of the things going on in universities. You know, the fucking Unabomber, for example, Kaczynski, man,

look that shit up if you want to trip out. That guy was like getting MK altered by this professor who was at Harvard. He was getting paid to do these weird tests to figure out if you could break down somebody's identity, you know, because they wanted to, the ideal thing would be like if you can capture somebody an enemy soldier and not just fucking interrogate him but wipe his mind temporarily and put things inside of him

so that when you send him back he would do crazy shit like a time bomb or something who knows what but they were really interested in the identity people think when they hear this they think no that never happened

it's all documented you can look it up freedom of information act just look it up it's all right there online mk ultra fucking documents about the many attempts they made and some of the weirdest shit you ever heard. Fucking Kaczynski was being like unethically experimented on by this professor. I can't recall his name.

Kaczynski got to Harvard when he was 16, you know. He got into fucking Harvard on a mathematics scholarship at age of 16, fell under the spell of this like crazy ass mad scientist professor who was doing shit to him that I don't think he'll ever know. You know, putting him in rooms and complete darkness for long periods of time. getting him to tell all his secrets and then humiliating him stuff like that so kaczynski Scientology well I mean science all like what do you mean Scientology? Scientology takes your secrets oh right when they the brief you it's called they go through that

system they take your deepest secrets and then they hold them against you yeah that will that you know a confessional confession all of it is the concept is pretty good though it's like secrets are you feel ashamed. It's a lot of cognitive weight to carry around. If you have secrets, it feels bad. Like, you know, there's a sense of like, it sucks. It's not a great feeling. It's a lot of, it's weight, you know. You're carrying weight when you have a lot of secrets, you know. So there's good sides to it and bad sides. Clearly, in this case, bad sides. You're not supposed to humiliate someone when they tell you their great secrets. You're supposed to forgive them. That's the idea. But, Gaczynski, you know, we all know what happened with him. But yeah, so universities,

they take people in, train them up in this way or that. Those people go out in the world and they become presidents. They become scientists, you know, and they do all kinds of crazy shit. Hopefully for the better. That's the idea. For the betterment of society. They've gathered all this, like, you know, specific data, you know, about some small branch of, like, oncology or something.

You know, they've gotten this deep, focused, very expensive education. And then they go and hopefully cure cancer, right? That's the idea of a universe. So with the Illuminati, you could, it's kind of like, you could, you could ask yourself, what do you think happened first? The university system, Ivy League university system? You think that just appeared suddenly? Schooling people, giving people secret information, like giving people like the big downloads.

No, it's been around forever, you know, which is why there were, you know, Masons, the secrets of the carpenters and people who just built shit. There were no books. you would like become an apprentice. Now, what is a Mason? Because those are the people I yelled at that night. You yelled at the Freemasons? There was a big church.

I don't know what I... Yeah, next little YMCA. There's a church. And I just beeped it all outside with torches, and I beat them and called them cock suckers or something on the way there. They're not. I think masons are like a group, isn't it?

Richard Pryor was a Mason. Really? Yeah. So what is a Mason exactly? I mean, you know, I don't really know. They're pretty secretive, aren't they? Well, they say, we're not a secret society? where a society with secrets.

But they are just a fraternal brotherhood of people who have been stigmatized in a pretty intense way. But just because they have secrets, because they are apparently engaged in some kind of disciplined practice that is helping them understand what it means to be like a contributing member to society, basically. Like their whole thing is like helping your community.

How come you're amazing? Well, my dad was a Mason. You know? My grandfather was amazing. Well, in the South, many people are masons. I mean, the name Mason, you hear it all the fucking time. But Stone masons, you know, the people who build all the cathedrals and the churches and stuff, that, you know, we take it all for granted, right? Like the fucking arches that hold up cathedrals, we see that shit.

And we're like, oh, that's pretty, that's beautiful. But we don't realize, like, how significant in the history of architecture it was when people figured out how to do that, how to, like, distribute weight in that way. You know, it's fucking amazing, right? And that used to be a secret how to do that. That was a secret. And so then the reason for that being a secret, I think was probably based on a few different things. One would be, I don't wanna give you this information

if you're not good enough to build one of these fucking things. Because if I give you this information, you go and try to build it, you could kill people. And that's gonna be on my back that I gave you this information, and you were like, lazy or weak or whatever and then you fucked up and now everything falls apart right so i would imagine if there was some repository of information out there that was like gave people's extra

abilities or something like if there was like information maybe about what happens after you die or where we are actually in the universe or what dimension this is and why we're here and what's going on or and there was some sense that if you told someone that they would either misunderstand completely and then like go and yap about it to everybody and cause all kinds of problems or more often than not they might go nuts you know they might not be able to handle it now mason's just men it's just a men's group it's a fraternal organization yeah which means just men just men okay yeah and then so wait just to just circle back a little bit to the illuminati what are they doing do they really control everything or is it just like a group of smarter people i don't know i mean i don't i don't

My feeling with it is like, you know, if you look throughout history at the people who make a ripple in history for the better, Martin Luther King, Gandhi, John Lennon, what do they all have in common? They all got assassinated. They all got fucking shot. So, oh, Jesus, let's throw Jesus in there, right? So my feeling would be like, Tupac. Tupac, anybody who is making big ripples and telling the truth in a really beautiful way, inevitably gets oft, right?

And so what you're seeing there is a brilliant person who has contacted truth with a good heart, who wants the world to be better, and actively pursues that goal, successfully to the point where they rise into the main thing. mainstream and things do begin to change a little bit because of them. And then look what happens. Some fucking asshole shoots them. And so my guess would be that if there is like a continuum of intelligence, and if you don't think there's a continuum of intelligence, you're fooling yourself, man.

Some people are really smart. I've been around them. And some people are, you know, very distracted, you know, to put it nicely. And so I would imagine that the very smart people scanning the world and looking at what happens when you overtly try to change the world, they're like, I don't want to get fucking shot. I love the world, but is it so effective

to enter the world and start telling the truth? If nine times out of ten, you get blasted before you finish the job. So, you know, do they control everything? I don't know, but I would guess that because in nature, camouflage, the ability to camouflage is such an important trait when it comes to evolution, you know, when it comes to surviving, that I would imagine that there were probably some highly intelligent people who were more than likely connected via some kind of, I don't know what, some system.

No conspiracy theory here. Do you think like Joplin, Hendricks and Jim Morrison, that's what connected anyway if you had to make a hypothesis like a fucking if you read documents the days leading up to it or something yeah man i don't know why everyone i don't even know why that's fucking surprising to people look at caesar look what happened to him stabbed to death you know look at like powerful people are often murdered throughout history i don't know why suddenly people think that it's like uh beyond the pale that folks who had a uh any kind of charisma that seemed to be working against whatever the particular system was, or whoever was in power at the time.

And look at fucking Nixon. You know, I don't know if Nixon was president when they died, by the way. I'm not sure exactly. But look at what he created, the sorrow that fucking asshole harvested in his sick prohibition of psychedelics. Not because he thought psychedelics were bad, but because he didn't like hippies and he didn't like black people. and he wanted to figure out a way to arrest him, you know? You wanted to figure out a way to get into these, like, growing communities and, like, arrest them. And you can't arrest people for ideas.

So you need some bullshit reason to do it. So it's like, oh, what do they all have in common? They're smoking weed. They're getting high. And also not only that, but they're smoking weed and they're getting eye and they're getting information from it. And even worse, the information they're getting, they're turning it into art. And the art is changing society in a way that doesn't work if you're trying to run a fuck. fucking military industrial complex, right? And so if you're running a military industrial complex,

your job is killing people. So it doesn't seem beyond the pale that if you are a threat to a like massive global organization that makes money from exploding people, they would fucking kill you if they found you to be a threat. It doesn't seem that weird. It's like, now is that what happened? I don't know.

But I wouldn't like, if I heard it, I wouldn't be like, are you kidding me? That's crazy. I kind of makes sense. Did it happen? I don't know. But Robert Anton Wilson, to get back to your question, he recommends agnosticism, which is let yourself think these things if you want to. Use your mind to like contemplate and think about it. But don't believe it all the way. Because once you do that, that's a slippery slope, man. And that leads to like a lot of embarrassment. You know, just. ponder it. We're allowed to speculate and look at the world and look at patterns for fun too. It's just fun. I don't know, were they assassinated? Maybe. I could see why. If I was running a military and a massive organization and suddenly some like charismatic hippie was flopping around making beautiful fucking music that was making people not want to go to work anymore and making war seem bad, you know, I don't know. If I was evil, I'm like, do a code tarantula or whatever the fuck we are.

How do you have all this shit in your head? That's what I want to know. I don't know. I love thinking about it. It's fun. Grab another water. Thanks, man. It's a joy to think about it, you know?

Before you, we start the podcast, you were talking about India now. These Indians. And, you know, one thing I've always, you know, Rogan's not as spiritual as we are. I don't think, I think Ari, You and I are very spiritual. Yeah. We were very aware of our surroundings. When I had Bobby Lee in here, we spoke about it.

What did you feel at the store of those years? Not the harp on the comedy store guys. I just wanted you to hear from the talent coordinator. Sure. We were talking about energies and entities before. And break down the energies and the ghosts. Yeah. You felt at the store and your ghost sighting if you have one.

Sure, man. sure uh yeah so it's like a thick energy you know it's like uh you know how you can like for people like it seems crazy when you start talking about this shit like clairvoyance or like you know what they used to call it being sensitive you know in the sense of like you know they wouldn't call it even psychic they're called sensitive so the way to understand it if you've never like felt a haunted place though i think most people have is uh just think of the difference between hot and cold or think like when you walk into like a super super super you walk into like a super super hot place. Like when you walk into a spa, that feeling, you hit a wall of heat. It's like a

very specific feeling. It's a dense energy in there. So like the next time you're in a very hot place like that feel it, that energy, the shit, the way that it feels weird. It's a different feeling in there. The air feels different. It is different, I'm sure, because of the heat. So similarly, if you use that exact same sense when you go into certain places, every once in a while, it's like you walked into a fog, but there's nothing there. But you can feel it. It's dense. The energy's thick. Coiled up. It's thick. So the comedy stores like that. It's, uh, the energy is, it's very, it's a certain places have tendencies. That's a good way to put it. You know, just like certain people have tendencies, certain places have tendencies, you know, repeating patterns.

So that one of the tendencies of the comedy store is it tends to create really great fucking comics. That's one of its tendencies. You know, it gives birth, spits out these comedians every once in a while that like become very successful. And it has other tendencies too, right? And we know about the other tendencies that it has too. So the energy there is very powerful and real. And if you are very, if you're even, if you don't, the worst thing is to not know you're sensitive to just think you're normal. Oh man, you are fucked if you go to that place because it'll start fucking with you a little bit and which is why all these like people who have a variety of mental illnesses would show up there throughout the years. You know, it almost would

draw them to it. But I'll tell you, man, a ghost experience, two ghost experiences that I had there. One, we would have clairvoyance come in there every once in a while, like once a year, a clairvoyant would come in and want to like try to communicate with the spirit of the place because it's a legendary haunted place. And so this clairvoyant comes and they're like, can we just walk through the building? I just want to see if I can communicate with the spirits here. And so we're walking through the building and they're, you know, they're doing the usual clairvoyant shit, which I'm pretty skeptical about, you know, because it's like if you name a certain number of names, you're going to hit something. So the name stuff that they do, I don't know.

I don't usually pay attention to it, you know, like I'm sensing a William brothers. brothers some kind of brothers there was a thin and also it's a researchable building so it's like anything you say is not going to make me feel like it's proof of something if you're in a historic building but you know that's the steps going up to the belly room yes and there's like a sign at the bottom of the steps there uh i think it's neon it definitely has lights i don't know what inside the outside so outside the right you make the right turn you go up the steps and there's the there at least There's a sign. There's a neon sign. Right. Okay. So they go by that. She goes by that sign and stops and starts with, oh, there's a, it's a, that's when she says, it's brothers. There's some kind of someone, there's something happy. She's like, do it straight out of poltergeist. And that was pretty weird, but you know, pretty good act. And then that fucking sign, man, it starts going. Zzz. It's reacting to her. I never seen that sign do that.

I saw it with my own fucking eyes. Now, what that was, I have no idea. But it creeped me out. The other thing I saw there was really interesting. And I think, you know, when people talk about the ghost of the comedy store, they're thinking like, Casper, something with a sheet over its head or some kind of like, you know, stereotypical ghost concept. But if you think about it more in terms of like an energetic,

There's an energetic form there that repeats itself. This will make more sense. And that's what the ghost is. But I was like, I was looking down the hallway at the belly room. And I was just watching some comics and some dumb fight, you know? Just fighting you motherfucker. They were like in a, I don't know the comics where they were like someone in a belly room show, but they were in a pretty intense fight. And I was just watching it.

I couldn't hear them. They left. And then within like three minutes in that very minute. very same spot, two different people got in the same fucking fight. Same movement, same like da-da-da-da. I'm sitting there watching like an echo of the same fucking thing I just saw with two different people. Now, assuming that this wasn't some conspiracy where some weird goddamn freakish improv

on the spot, people were trying to fuck with some solitary belly room comedian sitting on the couch, then that indicates to me. me that there was like a kind of eddy like a ripple that was happening there like a little fucking energetic ripple that people who weren't protected or who weren't who were a little too reactive when they were getting in it they were acting like it and then you know trying to make sense of it later that's the thing so many people just do shit and then they try to make sense of it later you know like they don't even know why they did it they just do a thing and then later they try to make sense of it you know that happens

all over the planet. Like you, have you been watching this Ted Bundy documentary on the? Not yet, not yet. A couple of people hit me up on it. Yeah, yeah. Check out. I was just so close. Well, let's end one story. Where I saw, whatever I saw at the store was at the top

of the belly room. Mitty was in her chair in the main room and I didn't want to walk past her so I stood by the door watching whatever was on stage and I felt an energy over my right shoulder. And I kept focusing on the comic, but something was hitting my eyes.

Something was making that light, not blink, but like somebody was standing in front of it. And when I finally did decide to look up, it was like the person, it was like Kennison. It looked like a Kenison type, took his jacket, spun it like a cape and walked into the belly room. And I was like, oh, shit. Yeah. Whatever, I felt. And I could feel his cold air, whatever. And that was it.

That was my only ghostly experience at the thing. Back to Bundy. This is the really weird thing with me. When I moved to Snowmass Village in 83, I moved up there July 1st of 83. And, you know, I adapted to the area within two months. And I had a friend that was a chef. That's certain celebrities.

he's hired him how he made his living in the winter was people would come in and they would hire him as a chef Michael Douglas Sydney Poyne people like that sure and he had Jack Nicholas his guy's name is Randy and one night we were just walking to a bar that was called it was like the local watering hole on Friday nights in Snowmass Village and he showed me he showed me the hotel where Bundy first took a woman from it was a Snowmass Village up and see if you could find it. Bundy and Snowmass Village. I think I just saw it on the documentary.

I forget the name of the fucking hotel. This is the reporter? Is this the reporter? It was like she was on the news. I do not. I don't remember all the facts. Then when he escaped from Haspin County Jail, I mean, fucking, no offense, Lee, Lee is not a criminal.

And Lee could escape from Aspen County Jail. Okay. Okay. And Lee's not a criminal. We could just walk out the door and trick. Right. The wilderness end. The wild wood in?

The wild wood in. There you go. That's where he took the chicks from me. Fuck. It down for me. So now I'm up at Aspen one day at the In-N-Out. The In-N-Out was a restaurant that my buddy, Steve Chavoney, who still comes to my shows when I perform in Buffalo or Florida because he's retired now. He was a cook at the time.

It was a cook. It was a sandwich. What was the place called? The In-N-Out. It's not like In-N-Out burger. Not at all. This is 1983. Gotcha.

Half the size of this place. Gotcha. Three people could stand in there one time and order a sandwich. Everybody else had to stand outside. Right. And we were talking one day. We were smoking. We were drinking in front of the place.

And he showed me the window where Bundy escaped from. Crazy. The path he took. So now I go back to New York. I get my problems. Then I start comedy and I moved to Seattle. And in Seattle, Bundy had done some damage. He did some real damage up in Seattle.

And one day I'm up in Seattle, and somebody goes to me, hey, like somebody who lived in the area goes, Bundy lived like three blocks from here for like a month with a girl. It was well known. It's like when I went to your house one time, and you showed me where the Tate La Bianca murdered.

Yeah. Up in Glendale, wasn't it? Was it Glenn? No, that's up in Silver Lake. Jesus Christ, I read that one. It's not the Tate La Bianca, I don't think. It's the other ones. It's like there's it's not the it's one of the murders.

I don't remember what you murder. Yeah, yeah. Jesus Christ. I read that book. I didn't even think it was his neighborhood. Helter Skelter. Helt or Skelter until I moved here. That's some scary shit.

You know about creepy crawley? No. So that's what I, that's what it's like some of our neighbors at the time. They've been there for old. They were right. Right. You were telling me when I went there. Did I want to do a podcast?

You were living with a different girl then? This is seven years ago. Yeah. Well, the neighbors said. that all of a sudden they just like would notice these like fucking dirty hippies wandering around up there

you know and it was the Manson family they were like scoping it out and they noticed it you know they were like oh you know it's not like they're gonna they're gonna blend in in that area these are fucking this is the family man

these guys they've been drinking acid you know they've been drinking LSD up at Spawn Ranch saying shit like Manson could like levitate school buses and like, do you ever hear that story? No. Oh yeah, that's one of the stories they said is like they, like I think it's their school bus they were in got stuck in front of some rocks and Manson levitated it and flew it over the rocks and shit. Like they were high. Was Manson levitating school buses or were they just high on acid?

I mean, Occam's razor tells us fucking acid. But, you know, that thing where they were like, that guy wanted to kill himself while he was fucking or something. He was fucking one of the Manson girls and like he like she shot him in the face and he came inside of her while he died or something I mean these were like hardcore hardcore cultists like the Manson family was like it makes any other fucking cult how many people were in the Manson family I'm not sure it's a great question where to start they start right here in fucking California dude it's weird fucking Manson was like teetering on the brink of being a musician He's hanging out with the beach boys.

One of the beach boys stole his fucking song, you know? That song, it's called like something. His music is pretty good, dude. That's the other thing. Mansa's music is not bad. It's not like, you could see how like, with just like if he had just made a left turn instead of a right turn and just met the right person,

we'd be talking about him the way we talk about fucking Neil Young. Sure. Dude, he was hanging out of the beach boys. That was one of the. the theories about the the the house the rosemary's bit there was the beyond no so he killed the director of rosemary's baby's wife wife wife yeah right peter buck who's the director not peter i'm so sad i can't remember it's one of my favorite movies right rosemary's baby yeah director yeah but the theory is and forgive me for the mansin like trivia people out there if i'm

fucking butching this but essentially the theory is they ripped him off man they took one of his And they did. Can you Google that? Do you mind Googling with song? No, I was just looking for that. There's 12 of them. So what do you want me to Google? Google Beach Boys stole Manson song. No shit. Yeah. I mean, I want to me set them over the top. Well, he, that's that house he went to. He thought the producer, he thought some producer was there. It was a vengeance killing or something apparently. It was an accident to go to that house. That's one of the theories, you know. But regardless, these were some fucking, did you find it? Yeah. It's the never lur. Hold on because I just went up to it. Yeah, his song ceased to exist turned into never learn not to love. Yeah, dude. He was chilling with the fucking beach. I never heard that before. So this is what I heard.

Fucking, you invite Manson to your party and he comes with a swarm of these beautiful, crazy hippie girls. Right? So he was always, he was a cult leader. He was already a cult leader. And he was so charismatic. So he had this like nice orbit of these beautiful Manson girls around him. And like so he was getting, you know, he was kind of like rubbing shoulders with folks. And like he was in it for a second, you know.

And then, yeah, so when you up in this neighborhood, like all of a sudden, like they noticed these like weird hippies doing like cartwheels naked and shit. They weren't just up there like, you know, they weren't even trying. They weren't even pretending to not be seen. They were doing like weird shit up there like hippie dances, you know, making out in the grass. of them were naked, but they were doing something called creepy crawley, supposedly, which is like they would like break into people's houses and just go through their shit for fun. Like, look at this man. Look at this picture of this kid, man.

Crazy. Woo! Like that. And so, yeah. And then they, you know, the murder started, right? But it's a really interesting story when you realize that Manson actually had a brush with a potential for fame. Similarly, the same thing happened with fucking Bundy, man. He was a politician.

He was like getting into politics a little bit, you know? Like you see this like... He was the law school. He went to law school or something. Yeah, yeah. He was a lawyer. Something somewhere it snapped. Like how...

Now, see where the Manson family started. Was it in California? I think it was California, right? Southern California. And then he recruited a bunch of... How big were they at? I'm curious how many people... he had in this fucking 12 11 and then him so he had 12 people like the apostles so like

well Jesus had 12 apostles that's nuts yeah California in the late 60s I imagine it was more than 12 though I imagine like you know it's not like people are like they're killing people up there Manson's crazy it was more like they're these crazy hippies with amazing acid up at Spawn Ranch you throw incredible parties we should go hang out I'm sure there was like a lot where they live Sporn Ranch that's where they were yes spawn ran I'm not sure And then find out who was the director? Because I remember that she, her name was Polanski.

Roman Polanski. Then he got in trouble for molesting a 16-year-old girl. That's right. Years later and he's not allowed back into the country. I knew there was just a lot. They took a baby out. Well, it was still alive and they killed it. You want to hear the conspiracy theory about Rosemary's baby?

They wrote Pig on the wall, right? Yeah. That's a creepy movie. You know the conspiracy theory about it? You want to hear a really creepy conspiracy? Again, when I say this, I don't believe it necessarily. It's just like I like conspiracy theories in the way I like mythologies. You know, it's interesting, you know.

But one of the conspiracy theories about it is because they, you know, we're shooting this sort of like they got a little, they, you know, these days, you see these possession movies, you know, they're embarrassing. Like the possession of Britney Lindsay or whatever the fuck. Why? Like seven possession movies out there. The possession of a man, the French. And it's just like there's this depiction of, uh,

Satanism in it or the devil or spirits. And it's just like you watch, like, that's such bullshit, man. That's not what it's like. So Rosemary's baby supposedly was a little too. They hit the nail on the head, so to speak. They showed a little too much about like how some of the shit goes down. And because of that, a message had to get sent, which is like, guys, if you come to our party, don't put it on the screen, man.

That's for your eyes only. What are you doing? were you doing research when you came to our black mass? That was for your eyes only. You know, now you're going to fucking turn it in a movie? No. No. And then that happened.

They killed, you know, because it's like, it's so fucked up. So fucked up. I mean, I don't think it's true. No, any level of it's fucked up. Now, how much is eyes wide shut true? Like I heard Eddie and a bunch of people talking one night about eyes wide shut, the movie with the Scientology. This great movie.

I really love the movie. Eyes wide shut. How much is it true? Yeah. They have Hollywood parties like that. Yeah. It's a bunch of rich white guys with masks on. You don't know who you're fucking...

Have you heard of those things? Well, yeah. Well, there's like, what's it called? There's some, like, club you could join in Hollywood called Nexium or something. Yeah. It didn't quickly tell us about that? It's like a swinger thing. Yeah, it's like swingers.

Dude, the reality of it is, man, like it's... No, I'm talking about motherfuckers that fuck you and they kill you. Oh, okay. And they grow you in pieces by San Diego up. So the classic theory is this. And I do not believe this. But the classic theory is this. And you can read about it in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, that fantastic scene where Hunter

has Thompson talks about having some like drug that was extracted from the adrenal gland. Do you remember that? That chapter, right? Yes. And he says he got, I think in the, when he writes about he says he got it from like some like cultists or Satanus or some shit. But that's called it. It's called adrenachrome is the name of it.

Supposedly, if you like take the adrenaline, if you take this shit out of someone who got murdered, you get high as a kite, and maybe there's some other shit that it does to you, right? This is all just conspiracy theory. All right, so somebody gets shot in the street. They take them to the hospital. What do you do?

You take this, like, gland or something. I'm not really sure. I mean, I was watching this wonderful, fucking awesome. of documentary on NASA's connection to like the weird connection with like NASA and like the SS and the Nazis and how the Nazis were all like super into the fucking occult man like they were like there's a thing called the Thule Society and stuff and like they were like really doing some crazy shit over there besides like the horrific stuff they were doing there's other stuff they were doing just really weird shit and like you know what happened is uh we won the war

and became a superpower because we got all their scientists you know the scientists the jewish scientists fled but many other scientists too and also a lot of those Nazis like you know i can't remember which company it is like bear some shit or like one of the aspirin companies used to like make cycle again this is i'm butchering it i don't know if this is true so for give me bear like will you look it up to like bear and nazism or bear and like bear aspirin and like cyclone like a lot of these companies were it's not like this is the this is the scary shit man so the war ends thank god germany has been crushed thank god it's over they're blowing up swastikas they won right and they have the the fucking trials well they

hung a lot of those motherfuckers right they they hung them they killed them but they didn't kill all of them so where'd they go where'd they go all those Nazis where'd they go man that's what they say right so many of them like kind of went out into the world also what happened all the money they stole where did that go was it all brought back did we get all the money back from those fucking occultist psychopaths where did the money go right so this is one of the creepy things in conspiracy theory circles is just like what happened to all the Nazis did we get them all there's a thing called the thule society you know uh which was like some kind of channeling group that was getting information from entities about how to build ships and crafts and stuff and like

crazy shit now this is where the problem is all this stuff is like all that i'm saying i've harvested what I'm really high off of incredibly ridiculous websites. You know what I mean? So, and I also, so my articulation of it is probably not even accurate at all.

I get a little bummed out, actually, when I see people doing the sort of like satanic panic thing to people who practice magic, you know? Because I think it's like really fucked up.

You know, like it's bigoted I think and so what ends up happening is you see these like depictions of something very real which is that there ain't just fucking judaism and Christianity and Islam and Buddhism in the world man there's a lot of other religions too and a lot of other ways of connecting with the universe but when people engage in those practices then they get painted in this really dark way as being evil minions of the devil like you know cursed or something like that and I I find that to be like a real mischaracterization of something you know you ever consider joining a cult I mean since

you've been out here in California have you many people have been in cults or anything because I don't think California there's a state that allows them I think it's Indiana or one of those I've told them on the podcast before I dated a girl who grew up at a cult and I till this day don't understand it at all. Colts? Yeah, they just re-released something about Jim Jones. They just re-released somewhere because I just saw, I don't think it's Netflix or something,

but I just never understood the whole cult thing. I was intimate with somebody for four years who grew up in a cult, and her stories were horrific. I talked to her 20 times into arresting her parents. Like, I would tell her you should have your parents. It's a sad phenomenon, man. It's like sad. The problem is people don't know what they are, you know. Yes, they do. Yes, they do. Some people don't. You cannot look at me. We live in San Francisco. I go to Duncan's Church. I'm through with Catholicism. I tried being a Lutheran. It didn't work for me. But this guy, Duncan Trussell, it's religion based on this. and his whatever, and I kind of dig it.

Yeah. And I go there on Sunday so I could feel good about myself. Yeah. I just want to feel good about myself. Sure. And I don't want to be trapped in the Catholic Church. I want to be involved in my community. Yeah.

So I walk into Duncan's Church and I like what he says. And Lee kind of goes there with his wife and they dig it. It's real low-key and it's Christianity light. Sure. And next thing you know, I'm giving you 10%. And the next thing you know, you come to me and you say you want to move to fuck in an island the whole cult yeah and we pick up and go to joan jones town guy yeah you know like that's where i think the buck ends for me like

that's where but he started having problems up in san francisco already like when he went to guyana yeah he was all it was already starting to come out and he had he was a horrible he had a horrible drug addiction he was addicted to speed shooting intravenously yeah man well do they consider themselves Colts, like, Colts sounds almost like a negative, like, obviously, so most of them are crazy. I couldn't find it on any state that allowed it. You fucking think about half the people you've met in the last 20 years in Los Angeles. Yeah. I say 5% of the people we've met, they could fall into.

Yeah, they follow somebody. Scientology. Scientology has no really religious base to it. It's based on a book by El Ron Hubbard. And you go in there and they put you next year, you're spending $80,000 a year. Then that's a cult. What's the difference between Catholicism and a cult? You go home after Mass.

Yeah, but you go home after Scientology. I imagine you go home after many. Some people do. Once you get involved with it, you're in there. And then I think once you move in, then you go into normal houses. But just I've watched what Leah says, and I've watched a couple of that. I've watched a documentary on it. I watch it Leah.

Sometimes I watch that show just because my question while I'm watching this fucking show is that how stupid are you? Like, I don't know. And I'm sorry to be judgmental. But while I'm watching all these stories. Yeah, yeah. I'm sitting there going. How stupid are you?

Yeah. Like the guy had a fucking anaconda. He took all of your money. He was selling parrots. He was like saying crazy shit. Which one? Are you talking about Jim Jones? I'm talking about.

or any of them. Like I grew up with, like the girl I was involved with, the more we dated, the more we got high and drank, she would break down and tell me little things. Right. Now, again, if Lee comes to me tomorrow and he goes, hey man, I love my experience with you here. I think you're wrong.

I'm going to become a Scientologist. I'd wish him luck. Sure. And whatever. There's nothing I could do, you know. Well, yeah. He came to me and said, I'm quitting tomorrow, me, my wife,

and the two kids moving on to the compound. I'm going to have a problem with me, because the kids are innocent victims. If this is your belief, then join it. Then leave your wife and your kids or come home or do whatever the fuck you want, but don't involve them in it.

Can I play the role of a cold leader for a second and argue with you? Go ahead. So it's like here we're doing this thing called society. All right? I'm already kind of talking like Manson. We're doing this thing. It's called society, you know?

and let's just look at society, the normal pattern that people engage in right now. Think about it. We live in a time period where it's so expensive to buy a house that both parents have to work, right? Mostly. So many people right now, both parents have to work. So we are living in a time where the parents are not being shipped off to a cult, compound, but they are being shipped off, so to speak, in their cars to separate office buildings where they have to work eight hours a day while their kids are put in a fucking daycare center

that they could barely afford. And I've heard about some of these daycare centers and people working there and how sad it is. The kids just laying on the floor crying. There's not enough people. They can't afford a daycare center where your kid gets actual human to human contact. So you got these fucking daycare centers all over the country filled with kids. crying for their parents. Completely confused. What the fuck is happening? Their parents.

They're fighting. They're stressed out. They want to be with a baby. They want to be home. They can't. They need money. So they're going off to these two separate places to work. Now, if I told you, there's a fucked up cult, man.

What it does is it takes families and splits them apart. That's the number one thing that you have to do if you're going to join this cult. You go one place. Your wife goes another place. And then they take your baby and put the baby in a warehouse. And they don't really take care of the baby that well because there's not enough people there to do it. They're teaching your baby. They're teaching your baby that when you scream and call out for help, no help comes.

That's one of the messages of the cult. You would say, that's the most fucked up shit I ever heard my fucking life. That cult's got to get shut the fuck down fast. That cult is called middle class life in America, right? So as a cult leader, I would say, all right, what system do you think? is appropriate, right? Is it to subscribe to the idea that a family is supposed to spend time together on the weekends and in the moments before 9 o'clock and after 5 o'clock?

Is that the idea? Is that what we're doing here? That's the plan? I don't know, man. To me, that seems pretty fucked up. Now, if I add to that, that on top of all this shit, the cult, it takes not a tie of 10%, but 40 to 60% of the income of the family. And it doesn't take it by putting a collection platter around.

It just takes it. And if you don't fucking give it, you get arrested. And they take all your shit and you become homeless potentially. And not only that, the cult uses the money. And what they do with that fucking money is they control remote controlled vehicles in other countries and they drop bombs on people. You would say that's a really fucked up cult, man. That's really, really bad. How is that allowed to happen? That's crazy. We should do something about that. You know, so I think the issue is which cult do you want to be in? You know,

do you want to like subscribe to the reality tunnel of, well, this is just how it is, man. This is how it works. No, it isn't. This is how it works. It's how it's working right now. We've eliminated a class in this country. Over the last 10 years, there's a class that's been eliminated. Yeah. There's no more the mom and the dad work and the mom stays home and part-time homemaker

or whatever. That's been eliminated in this country. You know, we were talking about yesterday. We dodger tickets and Laker tickets. You know, you look at a Dodger game and when you and I were growing up, it was 12 bucks to go to a game. So you and your brother, 24, your dad and mom,

now to go to a Laker game at $500 for a family. So that whole experience has been taken. a way. Yeah. As far as life being a cult? I'm not saying life being a cult. You could pick your own cult. I mean, you live in your own cult. If you enjoy, you know those people that you meet that come to a comedy store and they tell you everything's amazing. I went to this restaurant and it was amazing and they have, oh, I went to Duncan's 50th. Oh my God, you know, and Duncan through his own 50th party, those people. Yeah. That's a complete different. cult. Yeah. That's a cult of wanting to belong. There you go. Okay, I dress like you. Yeah.

I put a tattoo on my form like you. I have the goatee. It's the skinny jeans. I think that's a cult with no leader. Yeah. The leader is you in your fucking head. Yeah. But in the meantime, you're just following everybody else's fucking lead. That's right. Me, I'm talking about my friends' His parents went to Mexico and met a guy, and the guy sold him an idea of a community, a place where we all worked together. Remember the there. Sure.

The late 60s was a different time in this country. It was called, he ain't heavy. He's my brother. Yeah. So I would say to you, hey, Lee, what if you, me and Duncan went up to Pennsylvania, bought a farm, we'd grow our own vegetables, we'd be 100% self-sufficient.

Yeah. The cult that my friend grew in, my ex-girlfriend, they were 100% self-sufficient. Yeah. They grew their own pigs, cows. They used everything of the animal. For dessert, they had blood pudding. Yeah.

Okay. If you go to their house today and sit there, and you look at the mother and the father, and you look at the eight kids, four kids looked like the mother and the father. The other four kids looked like they belonged to somebody else. I was the cult leader. Yeah.

Because he was sleeping with the mom, even though in the room. right next door to it. Sure. So I'm just going to let you come, take my wife and go to the room next door and fuck her while I could hear you. Then he was having kids with these people's wives.

Yeah. And then that wasn't good enough. Then he started fucking the kids. All those girls that grew up are all fucked up in the head. That's what I don't like. All that, what you do is you empty the house, you take the kids, you leave the adults in there,

you line them up against the wall, and you shoot them all. Because they're not going to do the world any fucking good. Sure. You're not doing it. You're just shooting people who have no, they sold their soul. They sold their soul for something. I don't know.

I don't know. That's the way I look at it. I think it's what you're seeing there. I can't see it. I don't. It's fucked up. It's horrible. I mean, this is that Mark Twain quote.

Religion started when the first con man met the first fool. It's like if you ever find yourself in a situation where somebody is pitching some thing, some astounding thing to you. and it doesn't match your instincts, but you decide to like go with them, even though you can feel this isn't right. In that moment, you become sadly complicit in this form of exploitation.

You didn't listen to your heart. You listened to the charismatic person, and you got pulled in a little bit. And, you know, usually the way this shit works is there's a name. I can't remember the name. Once you've invested a certain amount of money or time in a thing, it gets more and more difficult to leave,

not because it's difficult to leave, because you're stuck based in this fallacy of the amount of dough you've poured into the fucking thing. So you're like, I just got to stay, you know, this is it. This is like that crazy shit that you read about Scientology, you know, which is like at the very, like, one of the highest levels, they show you a briefcase that has written on it over on Hubbard's handwriting. which has got, you know, the whole like Zeno stuff, basically,

stuff that just seems completely antithetical to your complete understanding of reality. And at that moment, you've put in a lot of dough. And you either go, oh, wow, oh shit. This is kind of embarrassing. Or you're like, well, it must be true. It must be true like the other stuff. It must be true. And you keep going, right?

That ignorance is what that's called. And some people exploit other people's ignorance. They're blind spots. A great magician, like a stage magician, what does he do? He knows the shit you can't see. He knows how to distract you and do all the shit. And then, like, while he's doing that, he, like, makes apparent magic happen. And it's cool.

But, you know, it's not real. But it doesn't stop with magic. You know, it, like, keeps going. So there's people who understand that human beings, when I said most people don't know themselves, what I meant is humans, if you're raised an alcoholic family, you're taught to ignore that daddy's a fucking drunk,

an angry drunk or that mommy's an angry drunk. You're taught to ignore that. Or if you're even worse, you're in a fucking family of a sexual abuse, you know? And you know if I talk about this, I'm going to destroy the family. And you will destroy the family. So it's easier to forget it or it's easier to pretend it didn't happen or it's easier to try to make sense of it in your own fucking head.

And it's a really sad thing that many of us have experienced and have done. Right. And that is the most sad thing, which is why I love that quote in the Bible when Jesus is talking about, you know, suffer the little children to come onto me. If anyone should harm one of these, it will be better that a millstone were tied to the their neck and they were thrown into the seat. And I think in this case, what Christ is saying is not just about children, certainly about children, but also about the other children out there who have adult bodies, but who have no fucking idea, who they are, what they are. They've been taught to ignore from the moment they were born, or even worse, to make sense of the fact that their fucking

dad's punching their mom in the fucking face, right? Or even worse to imagine it's their fault. because you know it's easier to imagine it's your fault if someone's hurting you because then you can pretend you have a little bit of control than to just realize you're being victimized right so there are predatory humans in the world who will prey upon that quality in others and we'll and we'll use it and there's various levels of it meet me come welcome to L.A. Open up that door a little bit just to get some air in here thank you welcome to L.A. Yeah, look at that fucking, what's that off, that hilarious joke Chappelle has about like the pimp bath, you know, like the joke about how like something about like a pimp will like beat up a prostitute, you know, and then give her a bath. And she falls in love with him because he's giving her the bath forgetting about the fucking abuse that just happened.

Right. Like that model of exploitation of human beings is unfortunately like any other thing in the world, it has evolved and become refined. And what's really sad about it is there's a fuck ton of people out there who haven't even thought about the fact that maybe they're being tricked by someone. You know, it's not, fuck the, you know, at least when you're in a compound and you're looking over and Jim Jones is mouth fucking fucking your wife while somebody in the back is stirring a vat of fucking cyanide and Kool-Aid. At least in that moment, you like, at least it's something unique. You're like, what the fuck have I done? This is crazy, right? What the fuck have I done?

You know, it's so overt. It's so obvious. You're in the jungle. There's loudspeakers crackling with this lunatic who just snorted volume. He was like, I'm there in the rush. Oh my God. He was shooting. Matt.

He was shooting speed. Yeah. But so many people are just in a situation where they're like surrounded by a group of friends, right? And within that group of friends, there's one charismatic friend, right? And that one charismatic friend, right? this pattern occurs again and again and again. You see it in movies where it's like the gang and then there's the leader of the gang or whatever.

And you get this one fucking dude who like is like smashing everyone else down out of fear, you know? And like many people are in that situation. Many people are in relationships where they're clearly being abused. You know, where there's not, you're not supposed to be there. People are in jobs where they're clearly being fucking exploited, right? And they slit that. happen. They don't do anything. You know? So it's like, yeah, fuck the cult leaders and fuck anyone

who had ever hurt a kid, you know, but not just a child, anyone who'd ever hurt anyone who's like innocent to that degree. Those people, if there's true intentionality behind it, are, I would say, demonic and are in some way, shape, or form representative of a type of energy. that I think is unfortunately in many sectors of society and hopefully is gradually being diminished by people who are smart and who've recognized it and understand, okay, I know how to do this. We're not going to do it the old way necessarily, you know, the old way. I may ask you something, Johnny, Illuminati. Because it's been three weeks now.

What do you see when you see your little boy? My mom. Really? Yeah, yeah, he looks like my mom. What else do you see besides the fucking nose in the eyes? Simplicity. I see the beauty of simplicity. I see the hope of the entire, not like my son is the hope of the entire planet, but I see

the truth of fundamental goodness in the world. I see that the thing that I've thought in various states of consciousness, from a psychedelic state of consciousness to meditation to the moments I've been falling in love, that, oh shit, it's good here. It's okay here. This place is good. Humans are good. This planet is good. And this is a wonderful place to be. And it's important to be here. It's not just a bunch of bullshit. This is real. And humans have value and they're wonderful. I see that. That's what I see in my child when I look at him. I see that. I see hope. I see the reflection of truth in the world. And it isn't the truth that everyone these days, or at least many cynical people,

seem addicted to it. Are you still walking on Sunshine? It's still like all new at the house. It's only been three weeks. Yes. I don't know. And I know it's going to get complicated. I know it doesn't get complicated.

But yes, walking on sunshine, it feels like I'm in the Garden of Eden. For 60 days, you just see this little child and then they start looking. First, you see that they notice your voice. You walk in and you go, I got the milk. And they look up and they start kicking their feet because they see. you and now you know you're getting through somebody. They've been listening to you for nine months. Yeah, cool.

They've been listening to you for eight months. Yeah. And now they get to see you. Now, I'll never forget the time I walked in the house and I go, hey, Mercy, and she couldn't see, but her little feet were kicking the excitement. That's a complete different euphoria. You can't match that with drugs or alcohol or even being on stage. All drugs and all drugs.

and all alcohol states and all altered states of consciousness and all momentary experiences are whether people know it or not they're going for that feeling that you have when you're holding your baby now i'm not saying reproducing is the only way to get that no no no no but certainly it is the difference between you know like you smell a rose perfume and you smell a rose right so there's like the rose perfumes kind of like a rose but it sure as fuck isn't a rose and like having a baby and really like not just like the experience of like contacting like the mosaic the genetic mosaic of your ancestors in the face of your child but also finally having to just put yourself on a on a just you have to put yourself away away yeah you really you to say this isn't

it's not about you yeah it's not about you anymore that's right you're not you're not Because dude, nothing to do with it. Nothing to do with that. You're done. You're done. Did you think you were going to be fucking Gingis Khan? No. You're not.

You're not going to conquer more landmass than anybody in the fucking planet. You're not going to fucking invent teleportation. You're not going to be Pink Floyd. You're not going to be Lenny Bruce. No. And it doesn't fucking matter. Because this is better than that. This is better.

And there's something so wonderful and humbling in that. Especially for a judgmental cunt like me, man. Because, you know, like I, So many times I've like, you know, it's easy if you could rationalize your like cowardice or your selfishness as being some kind of like revolutionary attitude, right? And like for me, I would shake my fist at families in a real cynical way, not for literally. Me too. Me too. You know, yeah. What did you, what age did you think children would be a possibility in your life? Never. Never. I went through a period where I thought maybe I'll have a kid. I worked at a summer camp man i fucking love kids then i just gave up i'm like i'm not gonna do that i got real real

like i went through a pretty dark period in my life man i got real cynical i got real cynical i got real cynical and real like pseudo i don't know i was being lazy man and i was trying to like make my laziness seem smart or something or i was trying to like just like you know imitate it if you look around you see the most fucking powerful person around if they're cynical you're like all right maybe I'll be cynical. You don't even question why necessarily. You just start, or even worse, you're aggressive so you want to get a charge out of people. So you read some fucking Nietzsche or some shit, you know, and then you get around people, you don't care about Nietzsche, the will, the power, the sheeple, all that nonsense. You know what you care about? You care about telling some dumb ghost

story, like throwing firecrackers at people. So you get this temporary rise out of people. Like, wow, yeah, look, I'm telling you about fucking Nietzsche, man. anything that doesn't destroy us only makes it stronger. You haven't even thought about what that means. You just say it. No, there's people just regurgitating shit walking around. They don't even know what the fucking. How did you, I mean, not to insult you in any way.

Insult me, go ahead. You're a ladies man. Ever since I've known you, how did you decide on this one to be the mom of your child? Holy shit, man. Thanks for that. That's a great question. And it's an embarrassing answer, which is that, because I'd heard this. I'd heard it so many times, and I'd always rolled my eyes at it secretly.

You know who said it to me? Freddie Soto. He said it to me about Corey. He's like, you know, I met her and I just knew I'm going to marry her. And I remember him telling me that. I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? That's not real. And I've heard that, you know, in various other places and a million like sort of nauseating

romantic movies and songs. But holy shit, man, that's real. It was the craziest thing. And it was, it was like fusion or something. Like I met her. We started hanging out. And this dawning realization was happening in both of us. It was like, we're going to get married. We're going to have, we're going to have a baby. And I can't explain it. It's like a right. It's like the way the sun comes up. It wasn't like some flash or anything. It was just more like, whoa, this is, this is it. This is like the thing this is the thing it's happening to us we're like you guys marry what you're married yeah we're married you might be you guys got married officially before yeah it happened real quick man and i mean like it sounds you're responsible and i get it on paper it sounds it sounds insane you know i asked her parents

permission like because i'm from the south and that's what we do i did too yeah called my i called terry's father when when i was talking to her dad i could you know i like i could i could I get it. I think he thought, oh, is this like some kind of thing where you like knocked up my daughter or something and now you're going to get married or so I don't, I'm not sure that I could have been projected by like I get it, you know, but no. What happened was we just wanted to have a baby all of a sudden. I had like like two months before I've been telling my brother, I'm not going to reproduce in

this life. I'm just not going to have a baby. I'm not going to do that. And then suddenly it was the most amazing. encounter with truth. And it's all, any articulation of it, it just sounds like a fucking cliche,

man. It just sounds like a cliche. So it's like, uh, God, what is it? What is it? When God laughs when man makes plans,

you know, that thing, you know, or like, true. Yeah. I didn't think this is ever going to happen. Yeah.

After the first ordeal, I didn't think it was in my realm. Just the negative thinking about it would keep, it away and yeah it's not in there even the whole thing about marriage and whatever I mean I married her and and you know two or three years later she was knocked up it was like that it was and I knew it I knew it when we first went on our first date we went to jack in the box on the way home that's how broke we were we went to jack in the box and I

knew it in the drive-in line that I was going to spend some time with this woman that I didn't know she was the woman of my dreams or whatever just but just but just just how she was talking to me. I had never really, I had always dominated a conversation with women. She wouldn't allow that to happen. And I was like, this is the chick.

Yeah. And she's amazing. Yeah, no, we look, we hit the jackpot. Yeah, man. And to me, it's like the realization that it's painful to think that you're the, that you're in control.

It's fucking painful, man. And like people want to be in control, but it's a painful thing to imagine you're in control. And there are certain things you need to be in control of, obviously. You know, you need to be in control of like how much you're drinking, how much you're sleeping. These things that's discipline, right? But there's certain things you have no control over at all. There's like invisible gears in the universe. And they're turning very slowly.

And you're part of that. And sometimes, even though your life seems as bleak as it could fucking. be, man, and you're numb and you're fucking sad. Things are still moving. Yeah. Just because you're numb, the world doesn't stop. That's right. It's so fucking weird. It's so weird.

This life or this journey so far for me has been, I learned something every fucking day. And then I look at people when I learn from them. Yeah. You were in New York, you were happy. You had the model girlfriend. Actually, you know, you're back in LA.

You marry some chick. Three weeks later, you're going to have a baby. And on top of that, you endured the two losses, which I am very sorry for. Thank you. I was very fond of your father. He loved you. So I've been thinking lately a lot about you on how, because I lost my mother, you know, 30 fucking years ago. It doesn't matter.

But for somebody like you to look at that child now and go, I wish dad could have held on an extra two months. I do. I wish mom could have hell out. on an extra 18 months and then you know but they're looking down honest you believe they're looking down on that shot yeah man like to tell me what you believe one of the things that happened as he was dying you know he's asleep and he had his phone and uh he had a picture of the uh at the ultrasound you know he was just looking at the ultrasound and he fell asleep but he uh he loved you joey and like he made such a big impression on him

he completed you to me. Meeting him made me understand who you were. And we became brothers at that moment. Yeah. Yeah. We became brothers at that moment. So it was, I'm very proud of you.

Thanks, Matt. I'm very happy for what's going on. And I know you've got to get back. The mother-in-well is going to fucking... Wait, I want to answer your question. What happened to him? Sorry to go out,

tear-y-eyed, man. No, I want you to get teary-eyed. This is what this podcast is about. I got teary-eyed, too. You bring it out of me. I had a dream, and I will probably get teary out again when I say this. Oh, I'm sorry. I had this dream after he died, man.

And you know when you dream sometimes about someone who's passed, and it's more than a dream. It's just not a dream. It feels like you're there with him. They came to visit you. Yes. So my dad, he lived in apartments most of his life, you know. And my dad loved life. That's why I loved you.

And that's why you two connected. Because you both have this, just you love life. You love life. And it's just, it's such a wonderful thing because whether you're doing great or whether things are down, you love life.

We're alive. Yeah. We're alive. What do you mean you lost a foot? Yeah. You're alive. You can still eat pussy. Yeah.

You're looking at this or what? You can't walk to the store. Got a roller skate. You know what I'm saying? But there's always a fucking bright side. I'm sorry to interrupt. That's it though, man. And that relationship with life is very romantic.

And it's wonderful. And it helps everybody around you. And after he passed, you know, I was talking to people who like, he was always giving gifts to people. I went down to the, like, to like talk to the people at his apartment, you know, about, like, getting the place clean and everything. And they were talking about how, like, at Thanksgiving, he'd bring. him a turkey and stuff. He was always giving, giving, giving, giving, giving. He was very, but secretly, he never talked about this shit, man. No, you don't need that. And he, like, he was in Vietnam, and he had, you know, he, like, had a lot of, like, medals that we found after he passed.

Never fucking talked about it, man. Never talked about it, man. Never talked about it. Dude, like, I had someone go through it. I don't want to say it here because I just, I'm afraid, like, I don't want to, like, insult anyone in the military by accident. say my dad had achieved this or that, but they're really intense ones, man, and they were just in a drawer. You know, they're just in a drawer. He went to Vietnam. He was in Vietnam. He went, and he went for two tours, and he went, you know, he volunteered to go back for the second one.

But the, uh, the dream I had was, damn, he got me, man. The dream I had, uh, was, I was talking to him, right? and he would show me his new apartment. And he liked it because it was right on the ocean. It had an ocean view. And he was like super proud of it. He would have loved that in real life. And he loved it in the dream.

And he said, yeah, but I've got these neighbors upstairs. And he's like, they seem like they're your friends. It seemed like they're aliens or so. I don't really know who they are. And then like I looked up. in the dream and there's like these two buddhist monks in robes that are like standing behind it and uh it was cool man it was like a feeling of like okay just maybe maybe just maybe because like when i was when he was passing i was teaching him some mantras you know i was teaching him

um on my padme him um um on the behold the behold the jo in the heart of lotus and i he was chanting it a little bit and as he was passing he got real um you know, you got real. That's what happens when people are dying. They get real. And we had some great conversations about death and what was going to happen, what I heard and what it is. And so, I don't know, it was a really beautiful dream. And it made me, it gave me some hope that whatever happens after that maybe some people came and, like, guided him through that process, you know, who were maybe part of the Buddhist Sangha. The Dharma, as they call it.

And I don't know. It was just a dream, you know. But I do know this. He died in a really sweet way. He died in a really sweet way, man. And that says a lot about a person. And, yeah. And he loved you.

One door closed and another word opened. That's right. And now you get to relive your dad through him. He's got his, you know, what's cool? He looks like my mom, and he's got my dad's dimple. And he's got my dad's hair. So it's the most beautiful thing. I mean, I don't mean, it's just so wonderful.

Listen, I know when I talked to you on the phone, you're a new person. Yes, yeah, for sure. And for everything that you've gone through, this child has cleansed it all the way. There's still some pain there residue. It's not what it was. I had the same thing. So listen, like I said, I'm just happy you made time. What are you going to get back into comedy and fucking get Momo back on the stage?

soon i feel it i'm coming back soon you know i just said i had to do this no no you have to do this you have to do this yeah nobody says you got to go on the road just start at the store twice a week see your friends talk to other people you know everybody they got a kid now bill burr got a kid sebastian got a kid i don't one got a kid rogan got kids thompson ago got kids burkeyes just got kids so it's like you're in not only a comedian community now you're in that How wonderful. I'm going to be back, Joey. Thank you so much.

Tom Papa, yeah. So I'm happy you made it out. Let's keep in touch. I'll come down in about four or five weeks and do your podcast. That'd be great, man. And thanks so much, man. You're awesome, dude. You're so funny, man.

I don't watch a lot of podcasts. But the energy you guys have with each other is so fucking funny, man. You fucking killed Thursday night. Yeah. You got a heck of came up to him. I thought I was in a dive. I just turned away. Like, this is my son.

he's not happening? I didn't have it. I fucking turned away because I was like, he's going to fall apart. And I heard this huge, loud explosion of applause. And I was so proud of him because the night before, we had taken some THC. And I left him to quarter of nine. And I asked him how long. He goes, when I did the audio, I'm whatever. And he passed out and he woke up at 6.30 in the morning.

You know, like when you wake up, hung over. Yeah. He had that feeling. So I go, let me test his comic skills under those conditions. Because that's going to happen to him on the road. He's going to meet abroad. He's going to go back. They're going to get him drunk. He's going to wake up at five. And he's got to go do the gig feeling shitty.

Yeah. And he fucking destroyed with flying college, 500. Congrats. It was a lot of fun. It's so cool, man. You've been taken under the wing of the true samurai here. But last night, he was in Riverside, dying a slow death, so now he's mad at me today. It's going to ask.

I died. What's so funny? I died. I go, this is the life, motherfucker. Let me just say this. You guys are awesome. This podcast is very special. I just hope you all know that.

I'm sure you hear from your fans all the time. But anytime I, like, it pops up on YouTube and I watch you guys, it's not like you even have to say anything, man. Just when you're bobbing around dancing, it's the energy you're putting out there. It feels real good to watch people like you doing a show like this, man. So thank you so much for letting me on the show. No, no nothing.

That's it. I'm happy you got a chance to come on. I want to thank Duncan Charles. I want to thank the flying motherfucking Jew. And I want to thank you guys that came out to Braya this weekend and for all your support. Don't forget Valentine's Day, San Jose Improv. And then the week after that, the 22nd, I'm at Treasure Island.

And the 23rd, I'm at Fox Theater in Tucson. The Kidnap, we're showing up to Kidnappy. Hopefully everything will be smooth. All right, I want to thank my man, Duncan Charleston for coming in, making me cry. He cried. I want to thank the Christ Killer for being a bad mother. the fucker, but most importantly, I want to thank you guys for always having my back, okay?

You got the dates, Valentine's Day in San Jose and the rest of the weekend, and then the 22nd at Treasure Island in Las Vegas with my girl Kate Quigley. And then on the 23rd, the next night, I'm at the Fox Theater in Tucson. Note, I will not be going to Tempe or Phoenix this year. So if you don't see me in Tucson, you're shit out of fucking luck. So Tucson is the way to go. Before I go, I just want to talk about our sponsors for a minute, all right? you want to turn a cool idea into a new website, right? You want to showcase your work.

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use the offer code church and save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. That's Squarespace.com, enter code church. I want to thank Squarespace. I want to thank honor. I want to thank all of you guys for being loyal soldiers and for giving me the love that I guess I needed as a kid. You guys are my psychotherapy.

I love you guys. See you Wednesday morning, ready of rock. Tip top, motherfucker, bagu. Lee, kick this fucking meal. I love you guys. Have a great week. This is the way to start it.