The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #670 - Mike Tyson

Episode Date: March 27, 2019

Mike Tyson, the youngest ever heavyweight boxing world champion, an actor, performer, and host of the "Hotboxin with Mike Tyson" podcast, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE.  This podcast is brought to you by: Hims - Go to ForHims.com/joey for the Hims complete hair kit for just $5. While supplies last, restrictions apply.    CBD Lion - For all of your CBD needs, from shatter to gummies go to CBDLion.com and use code CHURCH for 20% off.    ZipRecruiter - post your job to 200+ job sites with a single click for free at www.ziprecruiter.com/church      

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Are you fucking kidding me, Mike Tyson? How hard does this hit? Oh, it's hitting hard. This is 80-something just... I need to come out to my fights on this only. Yeah, this makes you want to stab the motherfuckers. Power of the radical of the youngster. Oh, my God.

Mike, you did something that happens in Hollywood. but it happened to you. You were like the fucking king at the age of 20. How hard was... I mean, you didn't even know what the fuck was going on around you. No, you absolutely right. That's true. At 20, things are moving so fast.

Hey, well, he never thought about that. It's me and this old Italian fellow we got together, and he has told me these wonderful things about myself and what I could accomplish if I listen to him. And so I was dedicated by life and listen to him and listening to him. Now, did he take you to a hypnotist? Yeah, he was a hypnotist, too, but he also took me to one. He was a hypnotist.

Yeah. In which way? Just that way he could allow you to relax and he could reach your subconsciousness. With the tone of his voice. Yeah. And just talk to you nice and light and tell you what was going on. You're the champion. Tide was a fall asleep, yeah.

Yeah, no, no, no. Cuss was a weird. breathe, bro. I never met him, but God rest of soul. But he knew what he wanted in life. He wanted champions. You know, Mike, I want to write a book. I've been writing a book. But

in that book, in between chapters, I want to write about the people who touched my life. In the weird, how many motherfuckers came in and out of your life that you think about every three days and go, God, and they're not dead. I'm not even talking about

the day. They can still be alive. You're just in a different mind game You didn't talk to them no more Yeah You're not talking to them no more Because of the most of mine are dead But yet there's a few people No like motherfuckers

My life has just changed How many motherfuckers came up to you one day Didn't want none from you And just said something to you that you went back to your room And I had to think about what the fuck this happened And you look back and they disappear And you think there maybe could be an angel from God That just I had 20 motherfuckers

That have come into my life at the weirdest times, then they disappeared. I want to write like a page just in between chapters. How many motherfuckers do you have that really affected you in the weirdest ways? You know, wow, when you said, a lot of people in my life that affect me in that particular way, they usually passed away and stuff.

And I was watching a documentary about Joan Rivers, Joan Rivers. She's the blonde. the joke right right the crazy lady yeah and she had said um somebody had left her she lost contact one of her workers and she said god he was there and you know what happened to those people that mean remember when this happened it's weird i'm not even taught like i got a guy that lives in pizs no one more beach and one day i was he was my sales manager at a car place and he was trying to egg me out i think it's time for you to do comedy i'm like stop it dog

ain't no fucking comedian i'm a criminal car salesman I barely keep it together. No, you're good, man. I didn't notice at this time. I didn't notice. And one day I sold the car that night late and they were washing it the next morning. And the kid's son, while I went back to the checkout, I'm like,

was this car going to be ready by nine? And the kid's son looked at me. It was funny. We were talking about you this morning at breakfast. He goes, my dad said if he had any balls, he quit his job, get in the car and take you on the road to do comedy. That shit,

Fuck my insides up. Like, till this day, I check in with him once every two months. He's about 70. He's the one that taught me how to write my goals. He used to say a lot of people go, you know, like, they'll write down, I want to be world champion. Well, how are you going to become world champion? Write down the things you need to do to become world champion. I got to train.

I can't drink. I got to stay away from these people. And he would make you write weekly goals, daily goals. Like when you went in there, every day, he wouldn't let you talk to a customer until you write down your goals for the week. I'm going to sell two cars today. I'm going to call 10 people on the phone.

I'm going to talk to eight people face-to-face. I'm going to have a good attitude. You got to hand it to him. He ain't dead, but I never forgot that lesson. He came into my lap. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We still talk. I talk to the kids online.

The one kid shares a birthday with me, so I wish them happy birthday. Sure, I don't forget nobody, man. Mike that came into my life like an angel. My prison counselor, redneck motherfucker Mike. Mike, the first dad sat down like I wanted to. You know when you just get off the bus when you go to prison

and they unshackle you and they give you the fucking towel and your sheets and then you go to the room and then some motherfucker comes in and says, Tyson, council wants to see your room four and you got to go in there and before you even sit down, Mike, before I even sat down, he goes, oh, before you sit on, I'll tell you something. I don't like Spick's niggas and Jews.

So I don't like you already. Mike, that was out of conversation open. Man. I'm going in there with personality. No, fuck that, nigga. They said, fuck that. No. He said to me,

did you ever get sit down? No, he goes, don't even sit down. I don't like these type of minorities. I'm not crazy about Chinese people. Like, he just, he was a redneck with a military head do. What crazy man? And he goes, I read over your report.

You got here by a skinner, your fucking mother's cunt. And then he goes, you're dismissed. And before I hit the door, he goes, you ever get hepatitis C or something? It was either hepatitis or some other disease. I go, no. He goes report to the kitchen. You got a job. Get the fuck out of my sight.

So for weeks, I didn't like him, Mike. You know, how can I like a guy that opens up like that? I don't like specs. Who the fuck are you? Nobody's ever said that shit to me. But somehow or another, he got impressed with me. You know, I did what I was supposed to do. And there was these psychological evaluations.

You know, when we first got locked up, before they sent us to our destination, they do that week where they ask you stupid questions. They draw blood. They ask you to fucking fill the circles with the blocks. Did you have to do that? Yeah. A whole week.

And then you said, what did this look like? They changed people? What this look like? What is this look like? Yes. What? The end of that... I've been doing it all my life.

Yeah. Well, I only had that evaluation once. Because like, that's... I watched the Your Spike Lee documentary. Like, it was... It blew my mind how similar you two were, but it said you were arrested 38 times by the time you were 13. Yeah. Like, do they even do diagnostics anymore after like 30 times?

No, they always didn't give you 12. And what's that? What's that I'm thinking? Thorium. Lithium. Yeah, they put you on the lithium shuffle. Oh, man, they happen on so many medications of the kid. Oh, really?

They drug you in the psych laws, man. Well, Mike and I were kids. There was two drugs. There was lithium and thorzine. And then there was a heavy one that gave you, and they used to call it the lithium shuffle. As soon as you go to prison, they give you Thorzine to calm you down.

Especially if you're a dangerous guy. And you have to take it? Yeah. And then what you do is, and then what you do is, and then what you do is, boom. And then what you go. What you do is you double up on them.

Like I would put them under my tongue and save them until I got three of them. And then I eat them all at once and get fucked up for like 15 hours. Sometimes you can sell them stuff by the only check. Yeah, you sell them. They always make sure like they're under your tongue and shit like that. Jesus. So you do that diagnostic. And at the end of that diagnostic report, they make an assessment.

And that assessment goes to the fucking FBI and every other federal bureau. This is their assessment. And I got to tell you, it's a, I believe it's an 80s. 7% assessment because it was big amongst the prisoners. They would say, did you get your report yet? And you had a file a petition to a lawyer to actually

get it. Your mind? I was like a fucking retard and shit. No, it did. Yeah. No, it did. I'm serious, I'm serious. I'm a fucking retard. He told me I was a retard, but they think they think we bullshit

because they don't want you to know the result. they didn't really want you to know so once I got under his skin once he became my buddy kind of sort of even though I know he hated minorities I would go up to him when I was walking and go blue his name was Mr. Blue I go Blue what are you going to give me the diagnostic point he's like get the fuck out of his pick boy like he would say shit like that with a giggle and I was already used to that from Jersey Mr. Olino so he couldn't bother when I was a kid there was a dude on my corner and he used to say shit to me every day and I loved them to death because he

toughed me up he you know if they knew I did Santa Maria so every time I walked up to corner they go hey what are you and your mother gonna invite some black people over and jump up and down and kill chickens today and shit I mean he was but he was say shit to the Irish he would say shit to the Jews everybody he made a comment from his fucking balcony so I made this guy out to be like Mr. Otino and finally like a month before I got out I went up to him like Oh, hey, Mr. Blue, tell me what it said on that day. And he's like, you don't want to know. Like, you got to tell me what it says on there.

And he got pissed and he walked me into his office. He threw his fucking file on the table. And he goes, it says in that if I had something you wanted, you would take her from me. That's what it says that you're a fucking thief. Is that what you wanted to know? And Mike, I broke. Mike, I'd rather have you punch me in the stomach 80 times than the feeling I had at that moment. because at 25 years old, I was told I was going to amount to anything else but a fucking common thief.

That's devastating. And he told me this four days before Christmas. Like it ruined my fucking Christmas. But at least I came to terms with it. I go, if I'm going to be a thief, I'm going to be the best fucking thief there is. I got out of there. I was a thief when I was a kid, too. Yeah.

And then I got in trouble and stuff. And I always had, you know, coming from places like booking people with you to make you feel real bad about this stuff. because it feels like you're a predator, and everybody outside of Brooklyn is prey, and you look that funny. You know, watch out for him. He's going to try to rob. He's going to break in your house,

keep your doors closed, and we had that reputation. Brooklyn always had a bad reputation. You know, before the podcast, we were talking about how there was a time in 1984 while I became a fucking animal. And I became such an animal. I would keep it from my friends.

Like the kids I grew up with, I would keep it from my friends. You know, I was working in Manhattan at the Sheridan Center on 52nd and 7th. And I got out at 1 in the morning. Do you know what that's like for a 22, 21-year-old kid with $2 in his pocket and a half gram a blow just to get the party started?

That's beautiful. Oh, no, no, it's beautiful. I was the king of New York. But I did shit those nights that, you know, that went on for like 18 months of 9. I still remember being at a fucking party, Mike. Like they invited us after a club, like the rooftop. You remember the rooftop?

Very well. You went in there after 11, and it was $17 all you could drink. And after three, it was $14 all you could drink. And we went home with Paul Newman's daughter. How was that like? Not the fucker. We all went back. The party?

Yeah, like it was like a party. She had like an apartment that had different floors. And on every floor, there were people snort and coke. You were talking to people. And I ended up in a bedroom with a friend of mine and this girl that went to high school with both of them. All three of us had grown up together. And we're snorting coke. And we got that on a Tuesday.

Now it's Wednesday. And now it's Thursday morning. We're still up. Yeah, isn't that funny? That cocaine, Meked on flies, right? Fly. Nobody's eating, drinking. Everybody's still up.

Everybody's thinking about fucking your dick's fucked up. dick's fucked up. But every time you pee, you get a toilet paper and you wash your dick just in case somebody decides to suck it. You don't want it to smell like pee and helmet glue. You know what I'm saying? I can remember that you're fucking just being fucked up.

And I wanted to fuck this girl, but she was our friend. I knew she was a dirty haul, but our friendship was bigger than us, me trying to fuck her on the Coke. But one night this morning, it was like 11 in the morning. My buddies, we were there so long, they towed my buddy's car.

that's how you know you're somewhere too long. So it was Thursday morning and we're in the thing and all of a sudden we're looking for a lighter and Lubas's going to look in the draw and Regina opens the draw and there's a fucking ounce of fucking coke like in a bag. It's like heaven.

And I look at it up. And I look at it up. And I look at Regina and I go Regina take some of them and get the fuck out of you. She's like, take some. I'm taking it all. She put in her. purse we walked out of there we had no cash to get back to jersey lubes went upstairs and borrowed

money to get his car untoed this is this is when the 80s this was when new york was fucking crazy this had to be yeah 85 where were you in 85 85 um establishing just turned professional fighter fighting 18 year old just started fighting were you smoking re for that night i smoked a little I stopped when I started fighting. Or in the Olympics, they would test you. Yeah. So you couldn't smoke over that. When did you start smoking weed?

Around 97. That's 98, 97. I started smoking back. And it calms you down? Hey, I wish I was smoking them. I only smoked it once when I was fighting. I had an awesome fight. I fucked the guy.

A broke his cheek bowled and his eye socket and his jaw, his back. But he's fucking, man, I fucking with his ribs. I was under germs. You fucked somebody. of stone? Yeah, but they find me 300,000. Oh, they tested you afterwards. Yeah.

So they really look at marijuana as an enhancement drug in the ring. I believe so. I believe they still. That is fucking crazy. But I'll tell you what, the best thing I ever did growing up was shooting hoops, and there was nothing like shooting hoops when you're stoned to the fucking gills to play basketball. It's nothing like training, boxing, sparring, when you used to. Yes.

No, no. No sparring. I'll do bag work, I'll jump rope, I'll do kettle bells, I'll lift, punches getting thrown at me when I'm stoned. Off the hook. Fuck you. And jiu-jitsu, I never even think about getting high before I go to jiu-jitsu. It's my best sparring session. I'm high, I'm fighting good.

It relaxes you when you're sparring that little. It takes that little. See, I like it before I go on stage. Before I go on stage, the feeling you get, it all lives in your stomach. Everything that you own, everything that you own. everything that you're done. Yeah, when I was on stage, I couldn't go on this show, but I couldn't go on stage, but I was smoking. All right, let me ask you this, off the fucking coffee.

I watched Tyson. I watched you go do a one-man show on, I think it came on on HBO. Yeah. I sat there going, look at this motherfucker. Look at this man, what he's done. But then I go to him, this is dick, because he's beating people up in front of 18, 50,000 people with a million people watching you on pay-per-view. What's the difference of what?

I mean, you went up there like you had been doing stand-up for 20 years. It's different. It's different. No, why? It's too fucking intimate, you know. It's too intimate to out to block out. You know, even though something fighting, you could block everything out,

but you can still see everything, but everything's blocked out, you know? But right there is just too fucking person. You turn around it in your fucking face. So, um, It was really interesting how I was doing that. But I put it all in the same perspective as fighting. When you went up on stage, fucking brilliant.

Because I've been telling people that ever since I started Jiu-Jitsu, my stand-up game has gotten way fucking better. I've become a better stand-up. Now I know when to breathe. Now I know when to attack. Yeah. Now I know how to beat them up for three seconds, three minutes and back and off. Seeing on stage is pretty exhilarating, man.

It gives you something of a high, you know what? When you got off stage, what did you feel? When I got on stage, I felt that I needed to get back on stage. Really? Yeah. Now, where did you rehearse this? In Vegas, in MGM Grand. How many times did you rehearse this a week before you shot it for HBO?

Wow, we did it for a long time. And then they said, let's go to Broadway. First, they took up the Broadway. And then once we did it on Broadway, they said, let's shoot it here. And then we shot it there. How long was it on Broadway for? I think we did two weeks. And two weeks on Broadway.

And would you switch the stories up every night? Or did you stay to a... Sometimes I'll switch them up. Because something else pops up. Yeah. Like sometimes you're in between two stories and you got the two stories, but there's a bridge between those motherfucking stories that'll make those stories so much motherfucking better.

It always changed. Just one little bridge. It always changes. Always changing. And how did you feel when you got on stage? Were you tired? Were you vulnerable? No.

I thought it wasn't long. I said, I need to get back on there again. I wanted to be out there. I wanted to people to see me. I wanted them applaud more and stuff. And how long would you do? How long was the original? Listen, I used to do it twice a day.

It did it twice a day in some shows. And who wrote it with you? My wife wrote it. No shit. And you just told her the stories. It told her what happened. First she said, whoa, I don't want to talk about that. You think you really want people to know that?

I said, no, baby, everybody would know. If I lied, people out there would say, you're lying motherfucker. They know everybody knows. That's what I had to tell the truth. Everybody knows. No one could come up and say, hey, that's bullshit. Because everybody knows that really what happened. You didn't care like me.

Like, I don't give a fuck what that's out. I put it all out there, man. Everybody knows. I just never, you know, I told everybody before. I just never told everybody. stage like that everybody knows how like I was telling Lee yesterday the other night to get on stage and sometimes Lee might feel like I'm bullying him or whatever but what I'm trying to explain to Lee is the more you go on stage the more you peel the layers off I can make you go up

there talk shit for every night for a year until one night you're fucking dying and all saying you know you start talking about fuck this let me tell you what I had when I saw when I was four. I was walking down the block and I saw a dude stab another dude. And all of a sudden the crowd is silent. But all of a sudden, you just took off your shirt. You just put your heart in their hands.

And that's a weird... It took me fucking 11 years of comedy to even think of putting prison, drug addiction, the pain I had grown up, finding my mother dead on the fucking floor when I'm gonna hit an acid. It took years. for me to come up on stage and get the balls to say that.

Because I didn't think it was interesting. I thought that everybody took these lumps as a child. That's what I always thought too. And I thought that everybody kept it. In fact, I thought everybody felt dirty about it. I used to feel dirty before my childhood was that I was poor. I felt real bad about that. It was just really bad.

It was like, no, this is never going to turn out good. There's no way I was going to become this guy that I am now. It was just really bad. For how long didn't you feel it? For how long did it take you to not feel the real Mike Tyson? Like for me, I was 44 years old when I felt who Joey Diaz was. Jose, like, I broke this, I've broken this into three chapters, Mike. My birth name is Jose Antonio Diaz.

That's my motherfucking slave name. That's what they gave me before they put me on this ship. My street name is Cocoa Diaz, and my name today is, is Joey Diaz. And I've had to, for me to keep going, I've had to break this up into three characters. To understand who the fuck made me. Do you feel that way?

Like at one time you were little Mike, tough Mike. Dirty Mike. Dirty Mike, okay. You were dirty Mike. And then you became the undisputed champion in the fucking world. After a trip. Then you became dirty, crazy Mike? Now you became a fool.

Then you became nasty. Yeah, a fool, man. Nasty Mike, that West win of NWA. You know what I'm saying? Like, you were in NWA. I got to really say when I was champ, I really didn't hurt anybody but myself, really. You know, we just had a lot of fun.

I bought a lot of cars with people and girls and stuff, and we spend our money on boats and cars, houses, play, whatever. And you didn't give a fuck. Yeah. You didn't give a fuck where the next dollar was coming from. You knew it was coming. It was coming hard, too.

And if it didn't come, you could still. Robin. No, it wasn't about rock. No, no, no. We were making fucking 25, 30 million a wok, man.

So, you know what I mean? Yeah, we make 90 a year. So we were just going crazy. $90 million. When did the blow come into this? Wow.

I used to throw to what? 2006, probably. Oh, okay. That came later. When you were champion, you were championing on everything.

Yeah. Did you, when you were growing up being dirty, Mike, did you think drugs were going to be a part of your life? When you were hanging out with cuss, it was the father's thing from your motherfucker. When I was hanging out with cuss, yeah, but drugs always been a part of my life. I thought, yeah, my mother was an alcoholic,

my father was a drug addict and stuff of alcoholics. He's a player and stuff. So I always did drugs, but I wanted to do boxing so bad. I gave all that stuff up. And you really respected yourself. And you never thought you'd do drugs again. While you were knocking motherfuckers out at 20. No, I always said, God, I want to smoke a joint.

Oh, you did at least want to smoke a joint. Yeah, I wanted to smoke a joint. But I was drinking like a fish, though. So I, my mind works like this. This is how my mind works at 10, 9, 11, 12, 13, 14. This time I went, listen, I'm not going to do weed and no more drugs, no way, because that's illegal. But I'm going to get drunk like a motherfucker.

I was an alcoholic by whole kid. career. Oh man blazing fucking full-blown alcohol. What about doing training camps? No, I didn't do none of that stuff during my training but listen after fights I'm a monster right to the bars. For how long? Huh? How long

would you go after your? Until we got the next fight and I start training again. I've said something before that was interesting when you I mean here you are going to get fucking champions and beating people up. Now you have to... I consider when I go up

on stage that I'm going up in front of a mirror. And that's why you get those nerves sometimes. You were saying that before you got on stage, your nerves would be out of fucking control and you needed to get blasted. Why? No, I just have to be... Me,

I'm not comfortable enough of myself being sober and performing like that in front of all the people. I have to have to get stimulated. What kind of pre-show stimulation did you have? You know, your shadow box, smoke a little joint like an hour before, 15 minutes, 30 minutes before I get on stage. And how loose did it make you feel?

Yeah, I'm just ready to go. I'm pretty uninhibited. When you get off stage after an hour, hour, how long was the 115? Yeah, 115. When you got off, did you feel that night when you get to the whole? tell, not pain, but a little discomforting your thighs because you were, for me, when I get off stage, and this has just been the last 10 years when I learned how to become a headliner.

When I became a headliner, yeah, I was headlining clubs, but I wasn't a motherfucking headliner. There's a big difference. Sometimes my legs feel sore after two shows because I'm ripping my feet like a fucking animal into the ground and I'm letting everything go and I ain't backing up, bitch. You know, this is what I do.

I didn't interrupt. No, no, go, go. This is why I haven't been doing shows for probably a year because I won't do a show unless I'm in 100% physical shape. God bless you. I don't go on stage less I'm in a hundred percent. Why?

Why? Because my stage is a lot of energy, it's explosive. I'm doing. doing stuff. I'm jumping on a little place. I'm moving a lot. And I can't do that. I couldn't do that right now. My show, I couldn't do my show right today. I'm burning so much. I was too tired. I couldn't finish the show. When I do two shows now, like, I do two shows a night, and I fuck by the third, second night, something. And I'll work on the daytime. You know what I'm saying? 20 on the elliptical,

20 minutes away. I'm an old man. I ain't looking at this. A kickboxing school. I'll take the hour class and stuff like that. But I do agree with you. When I was 400 pounds and I was going up on stage, when I get off stage, there'd be two puddles under my arm. The cocaine would be sweating from the night before, because I would never do coke before I went on stage.

I'm only got to get, I did coke on stage. You want to get it and turn around. No. Oh, shit isn't fucking bad. My nose is stuck clogged. You do not want to do cocaine. I'm talking funny through my nose. I didn't like it. No, I did it one time. St. Paddy's Day. 1992 that was the last time I did cocaine before I went on stage I couldn't even do cocaine

at one in the afternoon if I had a show at eight now don't get me wrong while I was up on stage you know I had a gram in that drug pocket oh no because as soon as I get off stage before I can talk to Mike Tyson or Joey LaBamba or give Leah a hug I would go hold on I got to pee because I had to keep that adrenaline going so I would as I was peeing. I would do my first three bumps. Then I come out and give you a hug. And then I was Joey. That's it. That was how it was for the last 10 years of my career. I couldn't do it. I had to have it in my pocket. I don't want no problems. If you told me it was on this way, I went up on stage and I would be cracked because I didn't have it. I wanted my pocket.

I don't want to do it. Just give it to me. Let me hold it in my pocket. Don't make me feel comfortable. That was the reason why it took me so long to quit cocaine because I didn't think I'd be funny. But I knew one thing when I went up on stage coked out like the night before. Like if I had done coke

for two nights in a row that next time when I get off stage I would tell you material but my soul and my heart wasn't connecting with the material. Like where I want to stay, I thought everybody knew I was done cocaine. You did? Yeah.

Everybody knew it was on cocaine. Oh, you should. They No. They look at me. They're going to have to be. They know. They don't know. I got bugged out. Yeah. My God, Mike. So if you had to break down your life, so we're still the dirty Mike, Mike, and who are you today? Listen, Ray, I'm excited to some. I just want to establish my relationship with my children now. You know, me and my wife are cool now. We don't beef, we don't fight.

We work as a team now, but I'm pretty much establishing my relationship, my sons and stuff, letting them know it's all about sacrifice and just, you know, dedicating your life to something that you really want to achieve something. And then after that, maybe you have to achieve your goals, then you can hang around and party and have fun. But you have to establish yourself first before you even, you know, I can't even enjoy myself. When I first understood what sacrifice was and what the prizes was from,

sacrifice, I can't imagine I want to achieve things in life. I became very, what's the word, very ambitious as a young kid. I just can't understand. At 2018, 19, I've established so much. My kids, they don't have that kind of drive. I want them to have that drive and believe in themselves. What do you think is missing from kids today having that drive at 20 that we had growing up? I didn't stop.

Let me have to say, I don't know, maybe it's mindful. Maybe our pampering them, maybe. I think me and I think we allowed them to have everything they needed. The young kid is probably a little bit more. They were able to go out the country and travel and go on trips and stuff whenever they want. Maybe that's a little bit too much, but then I don't know. I just, I don't know. I mean, we love our, I have a daughter, and I love with all my heart.

you put money away and you do this and you're that. Yeah, I have a son, you know, if he has drug deaths, the guy's called his mother and say, well, such and such owes me money for this and she has to pay him. You know, this kid is the little sport kids. And we always pay, make sure he has his apartment and stuff, and he never have to worry about it. They have struggle for anything.

And no one's ever given me anything but an opportunity, you know? And I'm saying this is probably my fault, you know? You know what I would do to a kid like my kid? If I saw my kid, if I even saw him walk on the street, you know what I would do to him? What? Bad stuff. You don't want your kids on the street at all. No.

Never to repeat when you did it all. Not even a little bit. You made a commitment to that. You said, fuck that. But sometimes I worry maybe they needed a little struggle in life, you know. You make them mow the lawn, you make them paint them a lawn. No, no, they don't do that stuff. See, that's my mother instilled that.

me even in her fucking uh she was a functioning alcoholic but she wouldn't just give me a 20 like if i came to this i want that toy down the block she would go all right sweep the front take the garbage out wash the bathroom do i got to clean the bathroom you got to clean the bathroom fill up the beer case and ask peppy if he needs help in the kitchen it would take me an hour and a half and she throw me at 20. So I knew if I hustled her for a, you know what I'm saying? Like I knew. And that, and I was spoiled until my mother died.

And then I had to find the realities of the world. My mother used to bring her boyfriends over and stuff. When they go to bed, they get tired, we used to always rob his pockets. The men that came and she brought in house, he always robbed them when they fell asleep. Trust me, I robbed a lot of pockets. But they weren't from my mother's, but no, my mother died without. But I used to fuck with my stepfather. I love my stepfather, but he was a loan shark.

And he would hide his money in different places in the house. So when I wanted to fuck with him, I would move his money. I would never steal it from him. I would move his money. And he would never say nothing. He would just go crazy. I would do this to him for fucking weeks. And then something happened between us.

I went to work for him, selling flowers on 86th Street, Broadway. We would sell Galeolo's and one night I felt he undercut me so I started rob him for him. I'd take a hundred off the top and he would have it in rubber bands and he would always put like a marking

on him and I would lure him downstairs one way or another. I'd make a fire in the kitchen or something and while he was turning up I hit him for a hundred dollar bill and one time I never forget I was robbing him and the $100 dollar bill rubber band blew up and there was hundreds floating and he caught

He's like, you motherfucker, it was fucking crazy. Do you ever notice when you go around life and your journey in life, you haven't met too many people like yourself? Oh, no. I think where I came from. I'd have to have a lot to do it. You know, I went out and what was I? I'm in England or Sweden somewhere, and I'm talking to a young lady.

I'm young, I'm like 23 at the time, so I'm talking to a young lady, and she's talking about wonderful things around the family did. and said, what did you do when you were a young kid? What were you like? And I thought he said rob people's houses. I stopped playing. I said, what was you like? I was like robbed houses and stuff.

Snatch people's jewelry and purses and stuff. I was, I didn't get arrested 38 times. But, you know, in that area where I lived, yeah, we had police contact. But they would throw you in the backseat of the car and give you a ride home or punch in the stomach. You know, they were smack in the face. cops were different back then but the worst thing i did at that age in the eighth grade people were moving into the house across the street for me right mike and they had like new york license place so i knew they had to go back to new york to get their shit so on the second load me and my

buddies watched them and i broke into the house and robbed a couple things but i took the kid's stereo the kid had a badass fisher with some fucking blout punk not not blout punk but fisher speakers and the 8-track with the cassette in the thing. I mean, I was living life. It's 75, and I robbed this motherfucker. I'm like 12 or 13. Wow. They come back, they call the police.

I got the stereo set up in my bedroom. Guess what happened? I ended up becoming friends with the kid. I would go to his house and eat. Then he would come to my house and eat. And then he wasn't allowed in my bedroom. For two years, we were friends, but I never invited him up to him. He would always say, how come I never saw your stereo?

You don't want to see it. And then they moved back to the Bronx They were Puerto Rican They said fuck New Jersey Oh man shit Jersey city were all the Puerto Ricans That Puerto Ricans are all over That beautiful fucking city bro

And now they got Dominicans up and down Are they beautiful people? Beautiful Beautiful They fucking I love that whole area I'm excited about going back for a few weeks It's been a long fucking time

since 93. Every time I go to New York, it's just for fucking three days and I get out of there. And to be back there in April and May, the weather's fucking nice. No humidity yet. That June shit, that June shit,

you could fucking kill your mother and that shit. That June humidity, shit. Behind the iceies, behind ice, yeah. You had to sleep with a sheet. All the windows open. The fucking fan on a sheet naked. What does you call that stuff?

Be that what? The iron stuff We come and hang out on We put our clothes on The fire escape The fire escape Yeah yeah I think you were talking about

The Puerto Rican snow cones That was awesome too The Duke comes with a sheet of ice With a towel on top of it Oh they put tamarindo And fucking coconut Oh the coconut is the shit Cherry too cherry coconut mix

You give an extra quarter and shit Remember ice can truck with Mommy mommy The ice ain't thrown down a quarter Mr. Softie. Nothing's like New York, right? Mr. Softie came into my life in 1988. Until this day,

my favorite Mr. Softie's a double cone, vanilla chocolate with color sprinkles and whipped cream. Fuck, yeah. I still fuck with Carvel. Anybody who knows me still knows. I buy a Carvel cake every year on my birthday, even if it's just me alone, bitch. Hey, Joey, I was in my room.

My bedroom, and they were. watching television and I was just saying to myself, I was watching Bobby Brown, every little step, he was young, like 19 and something. And I think, wow, this is my era. I said, where did the time go? And, you know, I got old too fast. What the hell happened?

How fast are they going by, Mike? It went too fast. One minute you were 20. Yeah, next minute you were 30. Not even. Like, you wake up and go, I'm 33. Wow, that was 13 years ago. And then you wake up in your 41.

then 48, something else hits you. And I walk around, I look at my daughter at dinner some nights, and I'm like, how the fuck did this happen? Six years ago, how did this happen? How many fucking, where did she come from? You know, who brought her into this fucking house? So sometimes I call up my call friends or something like to get my daughter, I get one of my kids, a friend of mine's a job,

and I forget, God, I can call people to help people get jobs. I know these people. I remember time goes by so fast. You know, you forget how you met them, you know, but you know they got the job and they can help you. Damn, how did he get into this stuff? When you were sitting there at Cuss's house at that age of 15, thinking you're going to go to the Olympics and become a champion,

did you think about going around the world eight times like you had? Yeah. You were dreaming about that. Dreaming about going around the world, fighting and stuff with Cuss and stuff. Dreaming. Me. different people, cultures, some good Italian foods.

Fucking some women, because I know that was in the back of your mind. You're a fucking savage. Yeah. You're like, I'm gonna go fuck those Indian women up. Listen, man. I'm fucking that dot right off their head. No, listen, man. I went on a trip one day with a friend of me and yeah.

I went for like three months off the French Riviera. We started from like Abiza, Spain, and we ended up the boat there, but we kept going on. The boat ended up in the year. Ukraine. We were just parting from country to country. We just having a ball.

We went to Istanbul for the on the No mecca. No, you walk around. Race car driving. Oh, shit. I forgot. The Grand Prix?

You've been to the Monaco, 500, too? You've been to Monaco? How beautiful is Monica? Monaco is very beautiful. You know, it's like a servant. It's like a different kind of country where it takes care of itself. You know what I mean?

Right, right. Just watch this. Yeah. What countries didn't you go to in your journeys? All right, I see where I want to go. I want to go to Iran. I'm in the Iran. I would like to go to Iran.

And then Iraq and those countries. I've never been there. Never? No, never been to North Korea. Dubai? I've been to Dubai. What did you think of Dubai? I love Dubai.

Dubai. Dubai is really awesome. Now, you're vegan? No, probably now I am. Yeah. I'm not vegan. I'm losing weight. Right, right.

When you go to these countries, how do you feel about the food? Do you eat it? I normally eat in American hotels and stay there. What type of foods do you like Chinese food? I love Chinese food. New York style? I don't eat Chinese food in China. Okay, I get it.

What about, like, you were in Japan various times. What do you think of Japan? That's not too bad. The food's not too bad. I can eat Japanese food. What are you feeling? feel when you go to a place like Africa? When I first go, I feel a little apprehensive.

The first time you went? How old were you the first time you went to Africa? I was in doubt. I was a fighter. I was champ. But I was apprehensive because of all the rumors. I've heard about Africa and stuff and all the things I've heard happening on television.

But when I went there, everything was just brilliant. It was beautiful. People were beautiful. I just came back. I came back from Egypt. Like a week ago. What were you? What kind of room?

did you hear before you went to Africa? What kind of rumors did you hear about the Africa? Like it's violent and stuff, and you gotta be careful I stay in the hotel and I come outside of the hotel. Did you go to Nigeria? And I've been to South Africa. Are you been to South Africa?

I've been to South Africa. I've been to Algeria and I've been to Egypt. I think some of those places don't remember right now. Now, Nigeria is where the party goes down. That's-Niruby, that's what I hear. That Kenya. I thought it was Nigeria where they have the most pickpock It's like that's the most corrupt place in the fucking world.

Yes, that's where it all goes down in Nigeria. I was just for it, you know, I didn't know if you had been there. Somebody tried to fuck with you. No, no, no. But if you pay me, I'll go anywhere. You don't give a fuck. No, I don't care. You've been to Norway, Switzerland.

You guys were talking about the different kinds of people you've been in your life. Yeah. What is the, what is your reception now? Because back then you were heavyweight champ of the, the world, like the toughest guy ever. And now, like, not that, like, you're still him, but you're also, like, a comedy actor. Like, you're funny.

Like, you're funny. Like, you're like a sweetheart now. No, the only thing is that funny is that people who never saw me fight know who I am from watching the hangover and doing other things I've just done, you know, outside of boxing, like actors. And so they know me from that. But they never see me box. Their parent had to tell them that I was a boxer before I was an actor or something.

They didn't have no idea. That's crazy. Is it Mike Tyson? The actor? No, he's not actor. He's a boxer. They don't understand. You know, I watched all your fights.

I get out of jail. I'm putting the halfway house. I'm working on a car watch as a host. And I'll never forget. I came up hot for a UA. It was my second one in the halfway house, and I wasn't allowed wreck time. So I miss the Busted Douglas fight.

it's like God didn't let me watch they didn't want you to watch the bust of that was fight and the next day I was fucking like you know hey this was 20 years ago we could talk about this shit now you know what I'm saying let you to cry

like the next day it was the weirdest thing like God didn't let me watch my main dog fucking do his thing how crazy is that that's why I said you and I have similar lives Mike in a lot of ways

but I know I know that every three years somebody came into our life that opened our eyes a little more. My wife, this one I met in 2000. You know, I met this white chick. She's from Tennessee. What the fuck does she know when we're from?

You know what I'm saying? She watched the motherfucking sopranos. And one night, you know what this bitch said to me, Mike? I fell in love with you? No, no. I was coked up. And she said something. I fall in love with the motherfuckers that call me out

because they see something that nobody else does. You know what this motherfucker has hit to me one night in the middle of my coke out when we got back? She goes, I've been dating you for eight months and I could tell that you were raised without a mother. At that time, I had two options. I could have picked her up and thrown her out of a fucking window. But I went with option B because she broke me down

like no other motherfucker. broke me down in eight months. You know, that's why I cherish my wife, because in one sentence, she changed me as a man, how I had a fucking act from now on. I wasn't acting like a person. She said I was missing somebody's love. You ever have somebody say something like shit?

Fuck, no. My wife, my wife said, we're going to do this. Don't worry, it's going to be all right. We're going to do some movies. We're going to write some plays. I ain't know what I was going to do my life, so what the fuck am I going to do? And here you are doing podcasts.

Yeah. Making plans to build a fucking stadium. Listen. You're sober. It comes a lot to do with luck. Trust me. I'm a great believer in luck. Great belief.

I believe in luck, but I also believe that we got to get ourselves to that place to be lucky. No, I believe the harder you work, the more lucky you are. You really believe that. Yeah. Yeah. It looked real hard, and I believe, yeah. I believe that's why I get the edge

because I work hard as in everyone. It was in my life. I mean, when I went down to your studios and you were showing me all the things you had planned, I'm like, when the fuck is Mike Tyson going to fucking find time to do all these things? I mean, I had no idea about the Egypt trip. I mean, you don't stop moving.

I feel like to stay alive. You're a shark. You're a fucking shark like me. I'm useless. You work seven days a week. Even if I complain, let me just go, because I'm useless if I don't work. And when you're not working, you're thinking about the next fucking move. Yeah, that's a really, that can start depression and stuff.

What's that? Not doing it being idle. I'm always thinking about the next move. My mind, I could be looking at you, talking to you. That's why I need that. I smoke that refa for two reasons. it's the only thing I have from my past it's a teddy bear from my past

when I was Jose Antonio and it was there when I was Coco and it's there now when I'm Joey Diaz you know what I'm saying Coco must have been a motherfucker coco was that's not that name Coco Coco was a name given to my

my father before he died because of how white my skin was so they called me the inside of a coconut I didn't like it for a long time, but I didn't like Jose Antonio either. Jose Antonio was a cunning motherfucker. He didn't do drugs, but he fucked with people's heads in an early age.

You know what I'm saying? Jose Antonio was a stone cold hustler. Jose Antonio was a kid that from the age of seven to 16, he didn't care about pussy. He cared about how to make money and get out of his mom's grasp. Like the more I could stay away from my mother, and her giving me money, the better we were off. We had an understanding because if I took a 20 from my mother,

I had to take her bullshit. Even though I still took a 20 from time to time, I had to take a bullshit, but I wanted to be independently free. I delivered newspapers. I sold flowers on the corner of the 6th Street. I robbed trains. I robbed punks and knocked on people's door

and sold the punks for a dollar apiece. I was a one-man fucking I need to make money machine If I went to Chinatown Lee You want a t-shirt from Chinatown A Bruce Lee T-shirt? Yeah, it costs $1,000, no, it costs $9.99. No, that's the shitty one.

It costs $12.50. I'll prove it to you. I would make $3.50 on the transaction. I learned how to jump into converse and jump into dumpsters And I would have to get the right sizes of the shoes because you can't pull a six and an eight and try to sell the motherfuckers for the small 13

because they were $21. That was Jose Antonio. Jose Antonio always had to have a 40 in his pocket from the age of 8 to 7. I bought my first 007 knife. Remember 007 that knife? That big fucking knife I bought that. It had 007 on this motherfucker.

It was gigantic. You couldn't even put it in your pocket. You could even put it in your pocket. Oh, my God. You had to put it in your side pocket. You had to figure out of where. how your mom can... No, fuck your sock.

It wouldn't fit your sock. It was a Rambo knife. I had one when I was eight. My mother found that knife, and next thing you know, I was in Catherine school, getting beat up by nuns. My mother was like,

I'm not going to tolerate you having that fucking knife. Well, how old were you the first time you carry the knife? So young, 10, probably. Damn. Nobody would understand these stories, Mike. That's why I was so...

You're such a breadth of fucking fresh air. Today you're an ambassador of God. You know that? In that trip, I think of who you were at first. I saw my life consist of beating somebody. And today you're an ambassador of God. My life consists of beating somebody.

Get closer to the mic. My life consists of beating somebody every day. Someone says, how can I play him? Oh, he's too big. Let me go and get my friend to call him and walk with him and let me roar both of us. If I wouldn't look like I'm involved, I would always plan and stuff. Look at this motherfucking Jesse Smolett. You know how I knew he lost?

You know how I blew that punk ass died? That brother, check out Dick. He just got, they let him go. Yeah, they just dropped all the charges today. He got to all the charges. I don't understand. I have to look at Toeve, because I couldn't hear him. But you know how I knew he was bullshit?

Because he had that little faggy cut in his eye. Yeah. And I should have been closed. Yeah, if me and Mike would have jumped him, one of those eyes would have been closed, busted nose, broken fucking rip case. Teeth. We always kick you when you down after the mugging.

Just to make sure. You know what I mean? That was just amazing that somebody would do that. That somebody would do that. Well, like I told you before, it's called a place called Hollywood. People do shit in Hollywood

they wouldn't normally do. Who would suck an old man's dick to get in the movie? Only in Hollywood, you take your dick out in the Bronx. That motherfucker's getting cut off. And then they're going to take it to the blood bank and get whatever they can for it.

They'll get $10 an ounce of blood in that shit. Get some age. Only in Hollywood. I was telling Lee last night. I go, Lee, how much would I have to pay you to stand outside the door at NBC? And for me to walk out past you with a woman who just ate three Kueluz

and suck your dick and we're going to fucked up. And I grew up on Cosby, but you got to be honest, what other city would that happen where a cop wouldn't look and go, that woman's been fucked in the ass and she took a couple of sleeping pills.

I mean, most of the women that said Cosby robbed her or raped her set out inside a trailer a lot of them set inside a trailer how many people did in the trailer in the trailer on the set how many people do he have to walk past a woman with to know what the fuck was going on

but how much do I have to pay you to turn your head what 15 an hour and benefits he must have been really gone for it man he was gone for it dog look at the reed those after davids he was giving bitches sleeping pills and shit. Percy would give you something like, you see what the Russians did,

what the Chinese did, and what the Cubans did, a bunch of diplomats went to fucking China, and a bunch of diplomats went to Cuba, and they had to leave because of headaches, and now they're suing the government because the Cubans are playing a tuning fork and the Chinese are playing a tuning for it,

and they're fucked up with their head, and now that the government's saying no, that they have no sufficient evidence that the Chinese and the Cubans are using, fucking commies are taking over. That's not the point. The point, I forgot what the fuck the point was, that bonnet had me going. What was the point?

Are they fuck with you, what would you be willing to do for a paycheck? Yeah, what you were willing to do for a paycheck? Well, Mike, what is it like, obviously not assaulting people, but when you're at that level, what, like, can you, can you, like, explain what it's like to just walk around and, like, go into a store or a restaurant? Like, people will just do whatever they want for? Like, do they do whatever they want for you? Or like, what is it like being at that level? I don't know.

What did you say something? What do you do? Ask me what somebody did to me before happening. I don't know. Like, when you walk into an office or something. No, I'll say this. I'll be in the street. I'm in my car.

And I pull up on the corner, I see her and I say, get in the car. I don't know. She gets in the car and she goes to me. Don't know. He's nice to get in the car. She just comes. Don't know her. That's pretty right.

That is fucking crazy. Listen, my friend that this is crazy. You won't believe it if you've seen it. If you did not see this, you would not believe it. Now you could pull up to a girl. And this girl looks together, like she's nice because she wouldn't do nothing stupid like that. Let me ask you. I mean, my friend laughed because they can't believe someone actually did this.

You just can't believe, I'm like getting the couple. Don't say where we go. where we going anything hello like I said OJ was getting bitches after he killed that motherfucker the next day he had a pen pal ready to suck his dick so our manson got them awesome and he had married to a young girl yeah he's got seven bitches on hold they were killing motherfuckers for him Mike when you got out of prison how did people treat you for a while mm that's interesting or were you back to iron Mike like nobody fucking gave a fuck

Or were you fucking with your own head? A little bit of both. But I was iron mic again, but I was pretty cautious. You know, I was I ain't Mike. I'm pretty cautious, but I was still stupid. What was going on in your head when you came out that? People were looking at you weird. No, I was there to have a chip on my shoulder.

Angry? Yeah, I wanted to succeed. The fucking fuck you, motherfucker. How long did the angle last for, before you realize? Couple of years. Well, I'm cool now. Yeah. That stuff destroyed me.

That stuff destroyed me. That movie they made, Mike. They said they based it off you. The one with Ving Rhames and Wesley Slags. Yeah, that bullshit. Is that bullshit? Pretty much, yeah. Nobody challenged you in there?

No. They didn't fly some fucking dude in from... fucking Kentucky to try to beat you up and shit. They were saying that I was hearing dumb shit. Then I heard that movie and they were like, this is based on Mike Tyson being in fucking jail. Ving Raym was playing Mike Tyson or some shit. I knew that had a bit, by the way.

Listen, right, if anybody was to ever think about them and those guys would just have me down, they helped me down like that. You had no bad experiences in there? No, I had, listen, yeah, I had one of the best stuff. For that three years, I was like, Kind of like the best time my life had a ball in prison.

I had a ball. Seriously? Yeah. In which way? I had anything I wanted. I had my, I got my, she was my teacher, you know, if you go to school in prison, I got my teacher pregnant in prison. I'm serious, I got my teacher pregnant in prison.

My friend had my friend from Chicago had the driver to a doctor to get an abortion, but I got un-pregnant prison. So it didn't stop for you when you got locked up. It really is a crazy fucking ride, Mike Tyson. I still had a little bit of money when I locked up. I didn't have a lot of money, but I said I haven't had my $5 million still when I got locked up. So I could still make things happen when I was locked up. I could say send that money here, send that there, send that there, that guard's house, that God's house.

You were eating good at that? Yeah, whatever I went to the child hall. All my food brought to me. from the street. I had the menu. They gave me a menu. You said, what do you want to eat tonight? And I say, I don't know, some Chinese foods, some fucking, I don't know.

Chicken. Were you boxing at all there? No, just running around, training, doing exercise, weights and stuff. And that's when you change religious faith. Yeah. But I was Muslim before I went to prison, the people who were ready and know that. Okay. What were you raised?

Catholic. Fuck those motherfuck. Hey, I can't say that because, you know, there's some good Catholic. There's some good. Catholics. No, I listen, I'm Catholic. I'm still Catholic. I just don't go to church and mingle. You know what I'm saying? There's no reason to go to church and mingle with those fucking people your feet off. So what was that like then? Like being king of prison versus like you weren't king of

like when you were 15 or 13 and juvie 38 times like you didn't do whatever you wanted then. No, I was a young kid. I didn't have money and stuff like that. But I knew everybody in the pretty good. Most of the guys from my neighborhood that were locked up, you know. Some guys used to see from other place like Queens or the Bronx that you meet on 42nd Street. I pretty much knew everybody in my juvenile

time being locked in. I knew everybody. Did you go into a city a lot when you were a young man? All the time. Pickpocket. All the time. No shit. Yeah, remember you robbed those perverts and stuff. Right, right, right, right. Yeah, in 40 seconds, we used

to do that, too. say we go with me come on i go with jimmy my feet beat the shit out of them take their money those perverts never call the cops no they can't those little peter files when you jump them the lay a beating on them they can't call the cops it was funny with me i think that the word got out that they were getting beat on like the word was definitely out don't go over there the people that over there sucking your dick but don't beat you to death and shit and the guy who got me finally that fucked me up. He was waving down the cops.

Like, he was there as their savior. Like, I was, I went back there, I went down there on a bad fucking night. And I tried to suck his dick, and I didn't take, I didn't even follow the route. You're supposed to take him deep a little by the tree.

Yeah, you're taking him too shallow, people could still see it. I took them on, I took him on Boulevard East. And I smacked him on suicide bridge. And that was my, if I I would have had him by the dirt. I would have tackled them. Nobody heard him scream.

Nobody heard him scream. The only person was screaming was me, Mike Tyson. When he unloaded 50 fucking style Mike Tyson shots to my head. He was one of those aerobic pedophiles and shit. This motherfucker went to the gym and jumped rope with candy in his mouth. And he lit me the fuck up with probably 11 punches. And he knew how to hit Mike because he was going up here. He was going on.

And I was covering myself. He was fucking me up with hooks. The next day, it wasn't my lip that was busted or my nose that was a little fucked up. It's the damage he had done to my head. My head looked like zombo. Let me tell you so, there was a guy down there that sold hot dogs that weighed 500 pounds, and he made fresh lemonade.

I was down there three times a week eating those dirty dog hot dogs. After that fucking pedophile beat me, I never went back down there again. even to get a hot dog because I was scared he was still waiting for me. Yeah, I got jumped. I got, it was a, it was a, it was a fucking, it backfired out of me, Mike. You ever have a mugging backfire on me, man? Hey, listen, man, so I don't even want to tell you, man.

Hit me, you got to hit me with one. You know, I had one of a mugging when somebody got killed, one of my friends got killed. Oh, my God. Yeah. Mugging go bad. So the mugger shot one of our friends, like, he was like Berkowitz, the crazy Jew. that went on the train that time in New York. The black guy with jury on them and stuff,

and nobody searched me. It saw all the jury, and it went for the jury. Nobody decided to search this guy and nothing and stuff. When everybody started to turn, everybody walked around and turned around, he came out, boom, boom. I want to shit my fucking pants. My buddies went to get their dick sucked one night in New York, and I was downstairs.

I was not getting my dick sucked the type of guy in buildings and shit. And they went upstairs with these two chicks. They went into a building. I was down there for 45 minutes. I was supposed, while they were getting their dick sucked, I was supposed to go around the corner and cop. It was right when you get off the George Washington Bridge

and make a left, it's little Dominicanville back there in those buildings. The cops had that wired down. They knew why you were there. Nobody bothered you. A little bodega on the corner. So if it was me, you and Mike, Mike's going to get. get his dick suck. I'm going to get the drugs. You go on a six-pack to buy daily news and a pack of gum, maybe some fucking chicharonas, just to have a reason to be there.

And then we'd all meet downstairs. We let the fucking two idiots go upstairs. 45 minutes later, they went to get their dick sucked. Now I got to buzz my way into the building because it's also the drug dealer building and go back upstairs and look for these two idiots. And I finally, something made me go on the roof. the door was open and both these idiots were handcuffed. The chick fucking, they said the story was

the chick was sucking one of their dicks and while she went to suck, the other guy's dicked guy came up on the roof and said, what do we have here? Get up, I'm a cop. It was a fucking fake sticker. Put him up, handcuffed him, told him he was the cop, took all their shit,

and left him there. We had to fuck him up. I had to go get one of the Dominicans to get a fucking, So we had to fucking open up the handcuffs and the two guys made me promise never to tell the story. That's the first time I told it. Fuck them. The guy's name was Cheechabastich and his buddy and they got their dick sucked over there.

And I didn't, you know, that's why I don't like going. And then another time I went over there, my buddy got his dick sucked. And this time he kidnapped the bitch. We took her back to Jersey and robbed her for $60 and lit a wig on fire. Oh, man, we used to have a white guy. Listen, he wasn't white, but he was Puerto Rican, but he was white. He had blue eyes, blonde hair, and everything. And we used to always just put the jury on him and put him in the front of the movie there that's up there.

It's for people to fuck him, before we could fuck them up and get in the fight. Where would you hide? Huh? Where would you hide? No, we'd be right here. We'd be right in the front. We'd be right behind them. A couple of rows behind them and stuff.

There's a lot of jirion and stuff. It's tough fights. They think he's white. They want to rob him. it's amazing when your mentality goes when you're street my eighth my son my senior year I wasn't even in high school

I had already quit but I was still hanging out with those guys I was working and we went to the city we picked up an eight ball that's how life was we always plotting yeah we always plotting I'll never forget that I went to a fucking we went and picked up an eight ball on a 33 5th in Amsterdam

we went to my buddy's father's liquor store it was closed at 10 we broke into it He had the key in the alarm codes. We took out a bottle of jack in a case of nips, the 8-ounce cold beers, and we started drinking. We went to this bar.

We were fucked up, Mike. My only was a kid, I drank Picardy. I was in Picardy. How old were you? From, yeah, from like 10, 11, 12, 13. Oh, Jesus Christ, Mike. I started out light with boons for them. Are you serious?

Yeah, I started out there. I started out 13. I started straight with, what's that, Gordon's gin? Yeah, oh, Jesus Christ. Straight or with a little tonic and a little twister lime. Fucking straight and what else? Wild Irish Roe? I remember Wild Irish Rose.

In Thunderbird, remember that? I remember that shit to give you a headache for eight days. I want these to drink that. Thunderbird will give you a headache for eight fucking days. Wow, that's a cheap-ass shit to kill you, man. That shit will fucking kill you. What's the word? Thunderbird.

You know what I'm saying? That was really the commercial? That was the slang on the street. Oh, okay. That was on the street, dog. What up, gee? What's the word? Thunderbird.

I'm in. I got 50 cents. Mike got a nickel. Lee got a dollar. Let's go. We'll get some potato chips. Go in there, Lee. Tell them, put it on your tab.

Remember when you can run a tab at the bodega, Doug? Listen, remember you did this? You come there and you give them a food stamp, right? But they don't give you no changes. It's right. It's right. I owe you 70 cents or 30 cents. Yeah, and it's good.

That shit would crack me because I would buy food stamps. It's like 30 cents. cents to the dollar. Oh, you buy people's food stamps. Bro, they're junkies. So when they had $60 worth of food stamps, you give 20. You always want to rob for my food stamps check. You can cash.

You can cash. You can cash. It was easy to cast somebody else to check. Fraud was so easy back in the 70s. My biggest scam was... You know, 70s, fraud. You didn't even have to have a credit card. A credit card. Your information, you'd have the check. Wow. It's a different time.

It was a different world trip. Dog, tell him. Chinese restaurants used to go in and they used to imprint the card. So if you spent over 50, they never rang it in. I'd go to the same Chinese food for a month and eat for free. Listen, rice and gravy, what I used to always get when I was in the street, hustling and stuff, I couldn't eat until I'd go there and I buy from rice and gravy. You eat some Chinese restaurant?

You know what else? I made a lot of money. You know who I took down single-handed? Tell me about it. Travelers check. Oh, man, that's tricky. That's tricky. No, you got to go to.

foreign neighborhoods. For me, you gotta go to Japville. They have this little Japanese neighborhood. They don't ask questions. You don't tell them no lies. Let's say you got a $50 fucking American Express Travelers check. You buy something for 32. 32, they, no ID. Okay. They give you 18 and change.

You follow me? So you would just go to Japanville and spend a little bit. They were all in on it. Because they got the insurance. Nobody gave a fuck. So if I knew you were going on vacation, You sit to me and I go, what are you going to do? How much you got? Well, I'm kind of struggling. I only got a thousand.

Forget about it. Go to the bank, get me the travelers checks. Bring them to me. Call the police. Say you got him stolen. File a police report. You go right back to the bank within one hour. You get your travelers checks back.

And I'll give you five off the top. So I make 500. You make 500. So what? You catch a little smack to the face. Like Henry Hill says, every once in a while you got to get a beating sometimes. You know what I'm saying? That's it.

That's it. So who gives a fuck? Gotta get a beating. You gotta get a beating somewhere along your life. I think I know the answer to this, but like, how many days a week, Mike, were you thinking about doing all this stuff? Like, was it every day? Was robbing the stuff? Yeah.

That was my job. Jesus. I get in the morning and go to school, I go to school, eat breakfast, and then when I go outside and start robbing this. The lunchtime comes. Come back. We don't eat lunch. If I didn't get a good thing, if I got a good thing, I'm not eating lunch. I'm going to go somewhere else in a restaurant, like red lobster.

there somewhere. Damn. Other than that, I come to school, I come back to school at the time of the time of the time. Then I go back out and get until 5 o'clock. From 9 to 5. Because after that, it's really not going to get any more hits

unless you run up and rob someone. God bless you. Look, you're not lying. Let me ask you a question. When your mentality, because I know this, I have to be honest of people, so I'll tell you, there was days when I would wake up from the ages of 17 to 27 and I would wake up and go I don't know how the day is going to start I don't know how it's

going to end what I do know is that I got to come up with $80 because I need money to eat I got to do laundry and I got a bag of dope and somewhere or another I get 82 or I get 75 and that's when the song from the stones comes on you can't always get what you want but then something happened years later, that mentality went from waking up. So how am I going to rob today? It became, I'm waking up, where am I going to get on stage? That that transfer has happened for you from robbing to boxing. Did you fall in love so much with boxing that it took you away from that? You had to mind. 100%. 100%. You went from thinking about, I saw you an interview one time say that when you stayed with cuss at night

you would watch fights endlessly black and white fights endlessly you studied the listen I have all the utmost respect for all your accomplishments but my utmost respect for you

is that nobody could ever pull one over on you about a fighter if there's a fighter that existed good or bad you know he existed you know the date he fought who he fought who was in this fucking corner How many tickets were sold, and that impresses me to know in with you.

When I saw you do that interview, I had just gotten into comedy, and I said, if he was a champion and he studied all those tapes, it's time for me to study tapes of guys that have nothing to do with me, even if I don't like that comedy,

just to see everything that was available to me. Oh, so that's the best thing to study. I always say that if I'm going to get involved in anything, State, baseball, boxing. Oh, yes, record, but anything. I'm going to find out who'd be, how this first began. I'm going to go to the origin of it, where it first began, and I'm going to know who the players are.

And I'm going to know who how to play the game. I'm going to know how it fails for him, how it failed for him, how it went well for him. And that's how it went. And you study the fighters, and you studied what they did, what they didn't do, what made them successful, what you're going to do different? 100%.

You know what? Kid Chocolate. did this type of training, I'm going to do that type of training. Listen, I wanted to say something to you about that because I was looking at something about Kit Chocolate, and I was talking to you about, he got second-court disease, but what he did was bigger than that. He made people, he turned people in the fighters because Joe Luth wouldn't have been a fighter Henry Armstrong.

They wouldn't have been fighters. They didn't have much money he made. They had no intention in their mind to become a fighter. They were people going to play violin, Henry Armstrong, working on the record. railroad and he saw in the paper how his kid chocolate made like I'm I'm 85,000 dollars a night one night they said fuck this I want to be a fighter he inspired so many great fighters I didn't say that what did you like the most about his fighting style he's beautiful the pretty fighter

Muhammad Ali he's different style the Cubans got different they moved it and showed it and played bounce then they're different Oh, they hear those bongo players. They hear those bongos play. They look pretty. They're good-looking. Ballet players. You know, they're ballet dancers.

It's amazing that I learned a lot from you, Mike. We're very similar, and now we smoke weed with three hands. You don't give a fuck, Jack. No, I like to smoke, yeah. You love your fucking reefer now, just so nobody fucking gets in your way, and there's no misunderstandings. So what's next for Mike Tyson, brother? Fill me in, fill the church on what's next.

Beside being a fucking great inspiration. No, really, what I'm doing that, I embarked on my cannabis business, and not necessarily from a flower perspective. We work with flour. We don't necessarily touch it, but from a CBD perspective, you know, from the medicine perspective, from the health perspective, hygienic, hygienic perspective. You love CBD all?

Yeah, I think it's the miracle. oil. Me too. We're sponsored. We have a sponsor and I love everything about them. I've tried several. People have sent me pounds of shit and there's an ointment that I really like. I like their ointment. I like that tincture and I like that gummy bads. You know, so I would never met some of the people. I've gotten, become friendly with some of the people. Even if it wasn't from the weed perspective, you know, from dealing kind of cannabis and stuff, I'm not. a lot of people. What the fuck is that Liberacee call?

Yeah. Jesus Christ, he's back from the grave. Listen, Mike, I appreciate you coming up here today. I know it's a long route. No, it's all good, man. And I appreciate your friendship. Where'd you go eat? We ate at this time.

It was like a Spanish restaurant, wasn't it? It was really awesome. Oh, they got potato tacos. You should have a night of night. So what do you eat now? I eat pretty much egg white and broccoli or spinach sometimes. That's your breakfast? Egg white with broccoli and spurnit.

Not egg white, yeah. You got to eat a yolk from time to time, Mike. I'm gonna tell you what this. You gotta eat a yolk. That yolk keeps the hummed good dog. No, I gotta keep, stay down. I'm just one of those guys when I'm on my weight thing, I used boom. What are you looking to drop?

Probably 40 pounds. Really? What are you walking around it now? I don't know, probably 260. You look beautiful, Mike. Hey, I know, but I want to be healthy. Do you just have a physical lately or something? No, but I used to know my body.

I know sometimes I'm one of those guys I get depressed and say fuck life and start eating and say I hate myself or something And then I have to suffer and lose the weight when you get the cannabis going Are you going to sell cannabis in stores will I be able to distribute to those people in the stores and they're going to sell the cannabis Sell the cannabis and what's going to be called Tyson's knockout that could be some of them as well yeah I want you to get me K-O-cution all that stuff yeah I want you to get me like a 29% called cocoa's death You smoke this shit You ain't coming back, bitch I like that

I like that I'll talk Coco's debt You know what I'm saying The return of Coco The concussions from Coco The concussions from Coco Mike The best thing about you man

I tell you what I've done a lot of podcasts From Joe or whatever More questions Everywhere I've gone The last three weeks People have asked me What type of person you are

I'm gonna tell me You're a champion In and out of the ring and what you're doing for people you smile you know Tom Seguro wrote a bit about your meeting you on an airplane it's on Netflix you're just that type of motherfucker like God put on this planet we always street people Joe I know that I know that's it that's it's all I keep it I've been dog I revisit the street every day how much famous street people I don't give a fuck I got a

Subaru nobody needs to know nothing they could all suck my dick and call me shawdy I was born in 1940. Mike, just break that fucking bottle. Jesus Christ, Almighty, Mike. I love you. 1940, shorty from 1940. We ain't fucking around. That's an old Bronx was there from Tremont Avenue.

Overway with the Royal Javelins used to run and shit. What was the name of your first gang? Jolly Stompers. Jolly fucking Stompers. What was your insignia? I don't know what the fuck it was. I was something of bullshit. We used to carry.

I know it was a flag. We're doing crazy shit. Mike Tyson, I will either see you on your podcast or I'll see you here again. I love that, man. This is really awesome. Whatever you want me, I'll be down. I'll go down there and fucking rock with you for an hour. You got to come to our next film, Fair, our next concert.

What is the next concert? October. Where at? It's going to be at Palm Springs, the Dead Springs area. What's it going to be called? Dead Reds Springs area. It'll be the Cine Festival. Mike, I'm Tyson Ransk, but I'm present for the Cain Festival.

You're going to have a comedy show? We can make a comedy show Let's talk Let's talk Let's do a separate tent We got 410 acres Oh fuck We got a lot of people there

Yeah That you just got to get some bathrooms People got a shit outside If not it's gonna be like woodstock We'll get some coffee shops We'll get what's the coffee stuff We get magic Johnson was Behind I forgot the name

Starbucks We'll probably try to work And get Starbucks out there Like I wish you all the luck in the world You're a gentleman He's very grateful. You give a lot of love. Grateful that life has turned out good for me.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm really happy it has too, man. You got more lives than a motherfucking cat. But you're always welcome here, right, brother? Thank you. Having a great day, stay black. All day. And most important, stay beautiful.

And you see Jesse Smellett. Bits out. Slap that. No, I can't do that. You're going to put me back in the cell. Nah, he'll take the bits lap from you. He knows he got it coming and shit. Oh, I love you, Mike Tyson.

Thank you very much for coming on to church today. I want to give Mike a shout out for stopping by there, the champ of champs. I want to give Christ Killer a shout out, always showing up and shit with his little bald-haired and no fucking Fidel beard. But most importantly, I want to thank you guys. Remember, next weekend, I'm in Pittsburgh,

only Thursday night, 10 o'clock tickets left, and the 19th in Minneapolis at the Fitzgerald Theater. And 420, the first show's already sold out, so get your tickets, because they're going to go fast. at the Papp's Blue Ribbon Theater. I'd like to thank our sponsors today. I want to start with ZipRecruiter,

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