The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #671 - Michael Rapaport

Episode Date: April 1, 2019

Michael Rapaport, an actor known seen on "The Guest Book" and "Atypical", and heard as the host of the "I Am Rapaport Stereo Podcast," joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio. This podcast is brought to you by:  Manscaped - Get 20% off your first order and a travel bag if you purchase "The Perfect Package" at manscaped.com and use the code CHURCH    CBD Lion - For all of your CBD needs, from shatter to gummies go to CBDLion.com and use code CHURCH for 20% off.    Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.   Recorded live on 04/01/2019.

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A little New York City flavor for years on April 1st, Coxuckers. April Tuesday. It's the Christ killer. Uncle Joey. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Turn that shit to fuck up.

Turn it up. Motherfuckers now. What? Uncle Joey in the house. Mikey rap. Do you wish you could rhyme to me? And the Christ killer. Sharpening.

Motherfucking knives. It's Easter. Mikey Raps. Talk to me. When I hear a beat like that, I just wish I had the ability to just start rhyming. I know. Fucking tremendous. Do you know what I'm saying?

Like, if you could just be like, I'm up. I can't do it. Nobody can like that. But I wish I could just start rhyming and shaming. I don't even know how to. I'll write lyrics. Like, how he even start writing them. I wouldn't know where...

I've tried just to fuck around. I can't even get out of the fucking... Like, I'm not even... The gate doesn't open. There's not even a gate that opens. That's something that's always... Like, I watch the dirt. Yes.

When he was writing songs, Mickey 6. Yeah. You have to be on a different type of brilliance. Yeah. To do that shit to hear the music in your head. Yeah. And write the lyrics.

Yeah. It's just a different fucking game. What'd you think of that movie? I enjoyed it fucking tremendously. I'm a music fan. Right. I'm cheering for these movies because I know that, you know, I know that they're going to green light to Lennyd Skinner.

Right. They're doing Elton John right now. Right. I want to show all the crazy gay shit. Elton's trying to get it out. So that one's going to be a little touchy-feely. But I know what the guy wrote for Leonard Skinner, Led Zeppelin should be coming soon after that.

Yeah. I watched something very interesting last night. What? I had insomnia. I could not sleep, and I don't get pissed off when I have insomnia no more. I just, right?

And I watch TV. I smoked dope or nothing. I fell asleep at three. I watched the Rolling Stones, Ola, Ola, Ola, Ola, okay? They canceled, they had to reschedule because Mick is fucking sick. And for Mick Jagger,

if anybody who knows anything about Mick Jagger, for them to reschedule, he's got to be sick. Yeah. Because that guy is a fucking true professional and he loves money. He's all about the fucking paper. But I watched Ole Ole Ole and it was very interesting.

It was the South American tour leading up to Cuba. Oh. How they had a sneak into Cuba. What year was this? This was two years ago. A year ago. I didn't see this one. The Stones did Cuba and my cousins opened up for them.

Oh, shit. The cousins band in Cuba opened up for them. So when I saw Ole Ole, South American tour, I go, let me turn this on. And they go to Chile, Brazil, Uruguay. They go to a bunch of countries. But the whole time they're trying to figure out how they're going to be. playing in fucking Cuba. So then Raul gives them the green light

and then Obama decides to go down on the same day so they can't play on the same day as Obama. The Cuban government says no, it's too much fucking they'll go crazy. Right. So they had to move their date to the 25th. Then the week of the concert, the Pope raises his hand and said, how dare they

play in a Catholic country on Good Friday? They got to move it. So they have to move it again? Big Jaggers said, I ain't moving it. They got all the equipment down there and they show Mick coming out in front of the fucking Cubans and he just destroyed they were nuts they went

fucking nuts when he started talking Spanish was he was he was talking Spanish he spoke Spanish in all the countries you know he there's this you have to watch the movie because I always say arts all the same it's all the same every art has you know the art of music and the art

of comedy most musicians are most comedians are musicians that didn't have the balls to get a guitar like me. I didn't have the balls to get a guitar because I thought comedy was easy. So if you notice,

a lot of comics are fans of music. Yeah. And it goes both ways. So at one time, they show Mick Jagger in the film and he's got lines in his hand. So he does research. He has somebody to research for him on where he's going.

So when he goes up on stage, you know what I'm saying? You ever go to, you guys will soon know, one day you're going to be headlining and you're going to go into a town and you're going to be feeling good about yourself and the feature act is really a feature

as really a headliner but he's featuring because the club wants to be a stronger show. He's no threat to you but while he's up there he's local he's talking about local references he's talking about this restaurant where you stand online and he's

destroying him and you feel like shit because you don't know anything about the city. And now you got to follow this. Nothing scares you more than when somebody gets personal with the town. Right. It's talking to them in front of you. That's when you really build a bond with a city. When the city knows that you love, and that's why I love every American city, because I find something to love. And when I go on the road, it makes it, it makes it easy for me to go there. When I go to Charlotte, outside my fucking hotel, there's a Sabret hot dog stand with the onions.

I know exactly which one you're talking about, too. You know which one? I'm talking about Charlotte. You know, when you go to fucking Houston, you got to go to Papadol, Miami. You got to go to this restaurant. Then you start learning different things about a city while you're a feature act. But you start, but you feel like when you go up

in those cities to ingratiate yourself the city to make it so you're not just like popping in there. Right. You have to talk about something that is popular in the city that you really truly enjoy. I got you. When I go to Cleveland, I go to that restaurant, every Friday they get pastrami.

I got you. You know, to get the, the corned beef sandwich, what I forget the name of the place, frymonds, you know, different cities. I'm going to Milwaukee. There's a little Chinese restaurant on the strip there by the Italian, where the old comedy cafe was. Tremendous.

You know, you make- It's good Chinese food in Milwaukee? Yeah. That's good to know. Listen, the block, what they didn't show you in Donnie Brasco, but they told you what the book was, that Donny Brasco made a big raid in Milwaukee before New York. They just didn't have enough time to put it in the movie.

He got the balusterees out of Milwaukee or one of the Minneapolis. It's a mafia family that makes money on vending machines. The vending machine mafia family. Before he busted the guys in New York, he went to Milwaukee. So the first time I went to Milwaukee in 99, those guys were getting out of jail. Oh, shit. And the club is right across the street from an Italian neighborhood. They have a little...

They got Italian neighborhood. Yeah, it's a block. It's a block. So it goes this way, and Chinatown goes this way. Their version of, it's like two blocks down, Chinese, three or four different Chinese restaurants and a little diner. But that Italian block had a deli. You know, the ones you walk in, they smell like cheese. And they had meatball parlors for $2.

What? I mean, nice. Nice ones? You know what I'm saying? You're a starving comic. You find a place that's $2 meatball sandwich. A meatball fucking porn for $2. $2.

Not bad. No. You know, like a, it's a lot better than a fucking subway. Absolutely. At least it was real fucking meatball. Absolutely. Presuto sandwiches and meatballs sandwiches that are, I mean, you know, at certain places you got to pay in certain places you, you, you, you, it'll be worth it because it's, it is really good. But a fucking, like, like, to me, I know that, I know inflation has changed, but a true fucking, there's only one place I know.

There's other places in New York City, but have you been to this place in Astoria, Sal and Chris's? No. Yo, when you go back, go to Sal and Chris's in Astoria. You'll know when you fucking walk in from the smell. It's been there forever. The fucking, I mean, it's like $8 for a fucking brick. A brick, like a fucking sandwich with the bread, the meat. Everything's fresh.

You buy a jar, pepper, or something. A 16 ounce Coke, a bag of wise potato chips. Who's going to fucking stop you? And you read the Daily News while you're eating it? Nothing's going to stop you. Nothing could stop you. And that truly is only in New York. That, what I just described.

Yes. And it's only eight and it's in Queens. But it's fucking well worth it. It's well fucking worth it. I was in New York City and I walked up to Times Square last week. And they got like a fucking Domino's pizza or something. I'll never go in ever ever

there's a fucking uh what's that what's the italian place there's an olive garden like two blocks up from time square it's all there years ago I would stand out there with a rifle pick people off as they went in there ever why are you going in there you're in New York

four years ago I'm in a long island I'm staying right across the street from the National Coliseum there's a hotel there I'm going downstairs and then when I My glass is a smoking joint when I get back on the fucking elevator. Two white kids and their fucking white father, Scott Chodd father with a fucking Domino's pizza. I wanted to punch the father.

What are you do? They don't know better. And go, you know where you are? Yeah. You're in the heart of pizza and you're getting Domino's. Just go anywhere. It's better than Domino's. You're personally fucking insulting me.

Yeah. Like you're personally fucking insult. You're in New York. Even the shit pizza is better than Domino's. 99 cents slice. Period. I would go to 99-9. And slice before I go to fucking Domino's in New York.

Anywhere. That's just breach. Never. That's breach of treason. Domino's is for desperation times, desperation hour. And even then you eat it and you feel bad. You feel bad and you regret, but it's desperate, what's like last choice. Tell Mary shit.

If you're in fucking Columbus, Ohio or something and everything is closed at fucking 11. That's Domino's. And you're starving after a show. And it's quick. The quick is. quick they deliver you give the guy an extra 10 because you don't give a fucking run it to your room at that 1 45 right to the room that's the one time i ate it i got a thin cheese and i ate half of it and i threw the other half out and i went back in the garbage and took it back out you got it

you knew you were going to you knew you were on all that was you thought it was going to disappear starving some nights after a show you got to fucking eat on a thursday night yeah but to switch it from food i want to talk to you about something because i want to see your take on it jesse smollett last week this fucking guy's a clown he's a fucking clown he listen Joey first I thought this is what I thought it was and we've all been a part of him

okay I thought and I'll be totally honest my wife when it first happened she she said I think this is bullshit this is when it first happened I looked at his face when it very first happened

something's not right I didn't think that I didn't think I thought something wasn't right about his face my wife said I think this is some bullshit and I was like really? She goes yeah I'm telling you I didn't think that but because she said that I just kind of going with it I was like yeah yeah yeah this is some bullshit I just was kind of like you know raised like being contrarian I thought it was a

dick suck gone wrong Joe we've all been a part of dick suck on wrong it has nothing to do with his sexuality he's homosexual I don't care about that men women straight gay we've all been a part of a dick suck gone wrong meaning you're with a girl you thought one thing you thought one She thought another thing Maybe there was a dick suck Maybe you thought you were gonna get a dick suck Reciprocated something was A boyfriend knocks on the door

Who the fuck knows? There's many different things That could happen in a dick suck And that's just a That's just a I'm using dick suck as a metaphor That's what I thought it was And maybe he got pushed around Smacked around

That's what I thought it was A meeting, it was a meetup gone wrong And again, nothing to do with his sexuality You gotta preface that nine times But to find out that it's this shit with the Nigerian brothers who are also brothers. And then to find out that there's charges and then there's charges dropped,

and this fucking guy is showing up to court like he's fucking a Russell Westbrook all dressed to the fucking nines, and he's still, like he's going to the playoffs and shit. Like he's going to the game four to NBA finals. He's fucking dressed up. And he's still acting like he did nothing wrong. Motherfucker, we know you did.

This is, you think that people, It's like OJ. Not to succeed and kill anybody, but it's like, what about the two people that attacked you? You don't care about them? There's two MAGA people in Chicago with their bullshit pizza. No disrespect to Chicago. That ain't pizza.

No disrespect. But there's two MAGA guys, homophobic, racist mad guys running in the streets of Chicago. Jesse? Don't you want to catch the fucking guys that assaulted you since it's not the Nigerian? And now they're saying the Nigerians might have been wearing white face. So black face, white face is the new black face in 2019 Per this fucking cop. This guy's a clown.

Did you see Chris Rock rip his asshole? Yeah, yeah, Chris Rock was a good job. I just want to know, like I saw his face and I saw a little blood on the ear. Oh, you mean that you saw his face? That night and I go, something's not right. Completely. So they didn't beat him up enough to put the noose over his head.

Exactly. I just had ideas. I've seen people get mugged. You know, I've been there When people have gotten mugged I see the people, the animals I've been with and I've even had to look at them and go Jesus Christ

You know, okay, let's take all that shit out But I knew something Then went two days later I didn't pay much attention to it I don't pay it that much attention from the beginning Then two or three days later I found out he didn't give him the phone Now I knew something was wrong I didn't know what it was

I'm not going to sit here and tell you I know what he did But I know this is not right. Well, there's incriminating pictures. No. No. Whatever. I know if I get beat up and the cops want my phone, I give them the phone just to see what the phone calls

and the cops are going to find out anyway. Joe, let me be transparent about something. You notice I was five minutes late when I got here? I was supposed to be 1130. Yeah. Got here 1135. I had to take a shit. Okay. Now, I have ulcerative colitis. I think we talked about this on my... I have no

problem shitting in public. If I have to go, I got to go. Alcertive colitis, look it up. I'm not going to describe my disease. But if I have to go, I have to go. I don't know your neighborhood good where we shoot the show here. Okay? I'm driving around.

I don't feel comfortable because I said, I'm going to wind up shitting in public in this neighborhood, and it's going to be on surveillance. That's my biggest fear. Now, of course, I would love to find a bathroom, a Denny's, the car wash where I never would. I drove around looking to shit in public. Find a corner, an alley.

but I didn't feel comfortable because I kept seeing the cameras and all the stuff. Now I'm not going to, I have a three-point system. I go against the wall. I use my car. So the three-point system is I can only be seen from one, two, or three because I backed myself into a corner against the wall. If I have to shit in public, I couldn't find a place. Do you have toilet paper in your car prepared? Oh, I got it all.

You're a McDonald-Bank? No, because I shit right on the street. I loved it. I've done it. I thought that was the only sex. savage in the neighbor. So, so inevitably, I didn't feel

comfortable in your neighbor because my biggest fear is, oh, there's Michael Rappaport shitting in public. Oh no, they'll take a picture yourself at the TMZ. And you're done. There's not, I mean, you could do way worse things, but it's hard to come back from shitting in public.

Like you're a fucking dog. So I found the car wash. A little car wash up the street. I went and bought a water, did my business, came in there was five minutes late. I pried myself on being early. Because I had parked down the street before and then I remember I had to shit. I said, I don't think there's a bathroom in Joe's spot. And I don't want to blow up Joe's spot. The point is, is Joe, is anywhere in the world,

okay, we're in the valley here. This is a residential neighborhood. If I'm concerned about being caught on videotape for shitting in public, and I know I could have been caught on videotape for shitting in public, there's no videotape downtown Chicago in the middle of fucking, do people know where he got this happen? This is dead. downtown Chicago. This isn't some fucking discreet, a suburban neighbor. This is in the middle of fucking Chicago. There's no videotape of anything except for one photo of two guys covered. There's no videotape of it. And the whole time when he's walking to his house from his house, they're kicking him, they're beating him, putting a news bleach. There's no videotape of it,

no surveillance video. And I can't take a shit on the way to do the church of what's happening now. Get the fuck out of you. And also, like you said, if you and Lee jumped me right now and you're kicking me and beating me and all this shit and on top of that, you put a fucking noose on my neck. That's a fight for your life.

That ain't just a little, yo, give me your wallet. To actually get a noose on someone's neck, you two guys, that's a fight for my fucking life. I'm not going to have just a little scratch. And he said they were kicking him in his back. Let me see your back.

Let me see the fucking boot wounds. bullshit. Did they ever come, like, explain why, like, weren't the brothers on the show with him and didn't he pay them with a check? Yeah.

Does any of that ever come out? This thing, they're saying over, and the police and the police are furious. The police and the mayor, the FBI is going to get him. And if he's lucky, if that fucking kid is in Chicago

and he's in a 25 mile power speeding zone, he goes 26, he's getting arrested. He's not welcome in Chicago ever again. He better be careful in Chicago. because he made everybody look like a fucking asshole.

Now I heard that he's friends with Obama's assistant. Apparently that's how he got... And Obama's assistant made the call. Apparently that's what happened. I'm not mad because, hey, you know what? The brother's got to win every once in a while too. I agree.

It's shafted up the ass constantly. You got to give a win to the brothers. But it's an irresponsible, irresponsible fucking thing to... And how sick are you? Like, you're on a TV show. You've never done anything. before. This is like the best first job ever.

Like, as starting a career as an actor, you're a young, openly gay, good-looking kid, black kid on a successful show, you're not going to ask for a better start to a career to be a supporting character on Empire. How much more fame do you need, like, right now? Like, this, I'm the, and he said, I'm the gay Tupac. Get the fuck out of here with this shit. Everybody's a freedom fighter. Everybody's, you know, fucking. Get the fuck out of here. Mike, do you realize where we live and how you and I grew up compared to where we live? It's all fucking different.

Okay. Look at, let's start with, never mind fucking Jesse Smolett. Let's talk about Harvey. Let's talk about Marilyn Monroe. Let's talk about never, never fucking land. Let's talk about, you know, Cosby that, you know, we were talking about this couple weeks ago. So Cosby raped, let's say, 10 chicks in this. trailer at NBC. Let's just say 10. Nobody saw. How much do I have to pay you for you to

walk out for me to walk out with a chick that's half fucking gogged up? Her shirt might be a little the button might be off. She might be holding her shoes. Nobody's seen none of these things. So is it NBC that's paying it? I'm just using NBC as an example. I'm not putting NBC down. Somebody had to see something in 20 fucking years. Yes, absolutely. Okay, somebody saw something, somebody knew something. You know, Harvey Weinstein, these agents were sending people. Yes. It was well known. Yes. And a lot of chicks did suck his dick. That's true. You know, this Never Never Land. This fucking guy. Which I saw you comment about on Twitter and I made my comments about. But again, everybody's blaming the parents in Never, Never Land. You've never lived in Hollywood. You've never been caught up in Hollywood. Yeah. To be, who. Who? else there are people that don't make $65,000 a year in this country. Right. They're short of that

by 40 grand, 50 grand a fucking year compared to what this kid's making an episode. Yeah. Only in Hollywood would your thinking take you that place? Yeah, absolutely. Okay, I'm not now he's a fucking junkie too. Is that he? Let's get this

out of the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So when you add drugs to the mix, you're not thinking the same. I give them all these benefits of doubts that when you're doing drugs he was saying he was doing a lot of ecstasy and he was copping ecstasy from the two Nigerians and all this shit you know it's like when you do coke the next day it's tough to do stand-up you're not connected to your material you're just up there reading a fucking script from that you have in your mind so I got to give

them all these things you know but what makes you say 65 Gs isn't enough I want to stick out right it's not you know I'm not gay enough I'm not black enough right I need to stick out so even more these are all things that are associated with the lifestyle that's surrounding us. Yeah. This is what surrounds us. You could go nuts from this shit. I will tell you this honestly.

I dealt with criminals for 20 years that I have more faith in than the people I'm surrounded with today. Because there's faith amongst thieves. These people come up to you, look at your favor, blah, blah, blah. And then, you know, oh, man, we loved your Netflix special. And two weeks later, somebody comes up to you. When you weren't there, these three idiots were saying. And you can't call them out because people like you and I go to jail here.

See, people like you and I were raised to go over to somebody confront them and say, did you really say this? No, yeah, blah, blah, whatever. If you do this here, you're hard to work with. Yeah. You're difficult to work with. You're whatever. You know, you're all these things.

Yeah. Which anywhere else people would talk to you. You know what I fucked up Mike right never happened again right I was thinking You know at least you know where I stand here you don't know where you stand no and you they're in a business To rob you if you don't watch your shit you'll get robbed right they'll rob you right keep putting shit on you and dates and You know this club is that add a seven dollar church surcharge to your ticket So for every ticket I sell I got to give you seven dollars off the top Is that is that some bullshit that happens? Oh no it happens

I don't mind you getting a seven off the top But split it with Uncle Joey Right let me know If you don't do nothing Even if you give me 90% of the fucking door And I sell 1,500 seats You get $7 per ticket You're robbing me

Right The agents ain't saying that They ain't right You know what I'm saying Because they don't want to break that relationship They have a bond with them How do you find out about that? Just go buy a ticket

If you go buy one Just go buy a ticket Just to check it Just go to one of your tickets and buy a ticket. What is it called the surcharge? The surcharge. Everybody got them. Ticketmaster, blah, blah, blah.

You know, there's some clubs you play that they want a house nut. And then per ticket, it's $14 fucking dollars. 14. The casino in Connecticut wants 14. It's a fucking casino. It's supposed to be a ride-off entertainment. Right. 14.

They don't give a fuck. give a fuck they just want to fuck they just want to fuck whoever they can and I'm not complaining I'm not mad I'm but just let me know humbled to be in this position to sell tickets and to go out and to do comedy but we live in Hollywood and you know we sit there and we watch Never Neverland and you say how can the fucking parents not see it the parents had nothing and next thing you know they're standing next to Michael Jackson you know look at the one family let the money for a house right she said it yeah gave us a loan low interest yeah then when they said don't worry about it's a gift

you know yeah you just get caught up you know absolutely when i did the longest yard i can't lie to anybody i can't lie to you i got caught up how you ever see a tv show you would go to the taping of a tv show okay and lee walks in and says his line i'm here now it's a funny line the first time but they make you do it seven times uh-huh the pAs are still giggling uh-huh the directors is still giggling, directed, and the producers, like, that's a funny line. It's not really a funny fucking line, but they're blowing smoke up your ass.

To keep you fresh, to keep you upbeat. The producers are blow smoke up your ass to keep you fresh and to be upbeat, and then you go see the final product, and you go, what a piece of shit, this is, whatever. When I was shooting along the shot, they were telling me this, this, this, you're going to do this, you're going to blow up,

you're going to do this. None of those things happen. Right. And I should have known better. I got you. You know, it's like it's NCAA. level eight time of the year I got you and somebody asked me did you better bracket and I go I haven't I I I respect college ball and the final this time of the year so much

betting would ruin it I bet on the final four and I've fucking got my ass handed to me you know this is so pure and so American yeah just watch it yeah watch where Michigan states upsets Duke good you know and all this shit I know what you mean it's all about that's what that's all about I agree I love bold of Colorado I love Colorado you know I don't go to Colorado because I shit on Colorado. What do you mean? It's God's country. I got arrested there.

From kidnapping, I pulled a thousand scams there. I got divorced there. I let Colorado down as a human being. Yeah, I go to Denver, but those places, I don't deserve to be there. But I know this going in. Do you know what I'm saying?

I got you. You know this going the fuck there. I got you. So I was telling somebody that. They're like, so when was the last time you bet on college basketball? I don't fucking remind me. You know, that's when I bet fucking college basketball?

basketball I had just one on the I just cleaned up on the Super Bowl it was the killer bees my yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I took the redskins yeah redskins yeah redskins covered and the guy paid me that Monday and I take a fucking I take the bus to Port Authority I take the A train down and I go to like 150 something street I'm walking around it's January it's fucking freezing I'm walking around and I see the store that sells chocolate tie weed I knew they saw it's 164th in Amsterdam and I walk in there, I buy, I take a soda, I take a daily news. They only had three sodas, and they used to be health food stores. Uh-huh.

In the 80s, they were called health food stores, and they sold weed. They had one thing of protein powder, one, those protein bars, one peanut butter was. Tiger something. Tiger, whatever. Tiger milk. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Tiger milk with the protein, and there was bulletproof glass and the little skinny black guy. I used to call Mr. Wendell.

Uh-huh. Like I called, even, this is a different time. This is 93, when I still went in. to that neighbor to buy weed, but on this particular January, which was like February, the day after the Super Bowl, it was freezing in New York.

It's freezing. It's one of those January days. Don't fucking wind is coming off the East River and the hot. And it's just cold. So I go in there, I buy the fucking 20 sack. I buy $60 worth of weed. I bought $3.20.

I had $800 from the Super Bowl. I'm living like a doctor. I go in there, let me give me a quarter. I go, I take it outside. Now I can't roll in there. Right. I take it outside. I go in the building, like on the steps, and I roll a joint.

And then I do what every other New Yorker does in 19-Fucking 83. I go for a fucking walk. And I'm walking, smoking this fucking joint, and the wind blew it out. So now I go into a building corner where the wind can get me, and I go to light the joint. This is I light the join here. Are you serious? Get on the floor.

Put your hands behind your head. I put my hands behind my head. I turned around it was a fucking mailman with the bag. He was really under cover cop. Get on the floor. Get on the floor. Holy shit. And the van pulled up.

And a cop car pulled up. Jesus Christ. Get up. Check for ID. I had no ID in those days. I never carried. I'm a criminal. I got cash in my pocket.

Rolling papers and the light. That's all I needed. That's your idea. Yeah. Criminal. Why am I driving? I don't need to have a license on me. Why am I driving?

They pick me up. What are you doing this neighborhood? I said I came down here. It's on Upper West Side? This is the Upper West Side. Two in the afternoon. And the guy goes to me, get up. He searches me.

He goes, if you have more than 10 singles in your pocket, I'm going to bust your fucking. And he goes in my pocket. I'm going to say, it's in my pocket. There's $2.20s and $7.00 bills. He puts it back in my pocket. He takes the fucking bag of dope out. And he goes, I want to ask you where you're in this name. I'm, bro.

I come up here to take a fucking one. walking I bought some pot. He didn't ask me where I bought the pot or anything. He took the other cop. The other cop and him talked. The mailman took his shirt off and now there was two guys with badges outside their shirts and shit. They had a van, like a crime something van. And the guy goes, uh, all right, what's your name?

I tell him my name. He fucking takes me into the van, handcuffed. They take the handcuffs off. And I had to put my hand on something. And then all of a sudden came back, Jose. Dea, Deez, let him get arrested. He goes, so he didn't lie to us. He goes, you're cool, we're cool.

The reason why we did this is because it's the school up the block. Somebody's selling joints to the kids up to school. That's why we were saying about the dollar. Listen, what we're going to do is this. I was so cool with the cops. The cops took the handcuffs off. They opened the bag of dope. They took half of it out and threw it in the floor and gave me the rest of it back.

They go, now we're just going to write your ticket. Take the ticket. I go, oh, I'll rather take the ticket. They give me a ticket and I'm fucking in New York. But I got to go to court. Guess what night I got to go to court? NCAA finals. Oh shit.

It's Houston against fucking North Carolina State. Are you serious? Valvano? Houston's given nine, nine in the paper, but the line goes up to nine and a half. So I love Houston. And I got, in that December, I went to buy Pat Benetard tickets at the fucking giant stadium.

And I heard a commotion. And I turn around, and it's North Carolina. State with Jim Valvan walking through that I go what the fuck and that wasn't a sign like that should have been my sign but I didn't let it I went with the national public and I go Houston's gonna slaughter him so I take like 300 I call the bookmaker and I got to go to court that night New York at six o'clock court six o'clock court the night of the NCAA finals I get the letter in the mail you got to go to court at six o'clock and you get there at six you could you know There's 80 people on the fucking docket.

You're not watching the game. And there's no fucking, there's no TVR. No, sports phone. 35 minutes, 35 cents for the first three minutes. And you sit there, they always gave you a score last. Right. They give you the Islanders and the penguins and hockey. They know what you're calling for.

And fucking, then they give you college basketball. And then the NCAA finals. When they said North Carolina was up by one, I just hung up the phone. I'm like, oh, that I get fucking taken. Because you knew you, Because they weren't beating the spread. They weren't beating the spread.

And I remember getting out of there for the second half, with like eight minutes left and just running to a bar down by the court. That's crazy. Whatever, 22nd where I had to go. And I caught a fucking beaten. And I'll never forget that I held the bookie so much fucking money. Like I was borrowing the bar we hung out of it. There was a loan shark upstairs.

His name was George. And I would borrow money from him. But I would borrow it from him for Lee. right so I would borrow 500 right it's not for me Lee got his girlfriend pregnant he's embarrassed to ask him he would never go up to Lee so I would make payments for Lee

as me then I would go up to the following week Michael Rappaport needs a thousand he fucking he fucked up he's shatting someone's lawn and this guy had this guy like 12 accounts plus he would give me $50 for everybody I bought him I was gonna say so he gave me a tip

for everybody I brought so I was do you remember when we used to it snowstorm so bad the daily news wouldn't come yeah do you remember that yeah yeah yeah the newspaper would not come and you couldn't bet yeah so addicted i was telling somebody's story i was so addicted to gambling it i was caught up i was caught up and i were betting 40 time pales every night mbba betting NBA is no bueno it's not good no it's the quickest way to destruction you only bet the the NBA in october that's it once the lines get hard you're going to lose all your money and it's

every day see football's on the weekends But basketball's every day. You can bet Monday night. Right. So you're fighting every night. But I remember the one snowstorm, we call the booking. We're like, how you doing, Gray Cavalier? What's on the board tonight?

I'm like, listen, we got no lines. The newspapers didn't come. The only lines we have with some shitty game that went off already. And then we got, like, Harvard playing LaSalle. Uh-huh. And I'll never forget this. Harvard was getting 32 points. And me and my buddy's like,

they ain't going to get beat by 32 there's no way they're going to get beat by 32 we're taking the fucking we're taking Harvard we call the guy we bet like I don't know how much thousands on Harvard we're fucking sitting there waiting for the because there's no ESPN there's no sports center

I think there was sports center but it wasn't even it wasn't as intense as it is now you wouldn't get every score from every game and you're going to remember this I'll never forget we're watching it's 1120 we're at the bar we're watching an eyewitness news and all of a sudden sports with Warner Wolf.

And Warner Wolf goes, how you doing? If you had Harvard in the 32, you're a loser. Let's go to the videotape. That's what he opened up with. He goes, if you had Harvard in the 32, you're a loser tonight. We just looked at each other like, God damn it, Warner Wolf is calling his fucking losers. You remember Warner Wolf?

That was my God. Let's go to the video tape. Oh, my God. When he, I remember one that... He had that great voice. Oh, my God. I remember one day... CBS.

He would come into the Nick Games or something. He was showing a Nick game and he goes, oh, look who's in the stands. His name was Warner Wolf. He goes, that's my brother, Weirwolf. There was a guy with a beard. He used to say he was crazy fucking New York guy. He had such a good voice. Yes, he did.

Warner Wolf. So what you went from went up in February to down thousands by March? Oh, I was down. Do you bet now on the games? No. Once in a great while. I bet a UFC match if I'm in Vegas and it's going to be easy. But not like you're not like in it.

Once you lose money and you see what gambling does to people, like I had a decision at the age 18, 19, I said, I could gamble with the rest of these fucking stiffs, or I could take that money and snort coke. What would I rather do, gamble on something I can't control or walk around and look out windows and get my dick sucked? I'll go with plan B.

Right, like that was a fucking, that was this. Gambling was just, there was no, Vegas always wins. I never been into it. Sports, blackjack. I just don't fuck with, like, you know, every now and get then, I'll, $100 on a thing. My fantasy football, but even then it's reasonable. Like, I don't fuck around with putting my money in the, because I just, I don't get it. I don't fuck with blackjack, poker, none of that shit.

If I'm in Vegas, oh, I'll play a $5 hand. I'll go, oh, here's $200 and I'll give myself the $200 fucking limit. And if I lose a 200 or I make 60 bucks, I like the money in my pocket. I had a roommate that at 19 went up. He was up 80. And next thing, you know, he was down 60. He bet Miami.

He took Miami at sound everybody's bets. And the killer bees lost. And he had to get two jobs, three jobs. 60 grand he lost? 60 grand. Oh, Jesus. He lost 140. 18, 18 years old, 19.

years old. So he had to work at his father's deli from six in the morning to two or three, and then he'd pump gas from four to twelve. He did that every day for eight months or something to get out of debt. Fuck that. He paid the guy

every fucking Thursday to get out of it. Jesus Christ. They negotiated something. I think he got him down for like 40, and he just went to work. I'm not with him. He did that. He did two jobs and he sold Coke. and now he's all fucked up

but I remember being friends with him like now we're like friends on Facebook because it was just too much from him like he felt like that we left him out in the cold it ruined his fucking life though he never watched sports that was it he never put out another sports channel

again it was his brother's birthday yesterday and I sent his brother a message and I asked him how he was doing and he goes he's okay he's alive he's got the hiv fuck After that, he even got into junk and shit, but Babanya. He got that, that gambling, fucked him up at 19.

That was like a wake-up call. Fuck that shit. He never came back. He never recovered. I like the money in my fucking pockets, Joe. No, I don't, you know who also? Was it the gender gambling my mother? Really?

Baseball. The Boston Red Sox and those fucking Mets. Took it to the cleaner. She was betting Boston when they were losing. She was in love with the Red Sox and the Mets. Fuck that shit. And then when that shit wasn't good enough, then you got to go to OTB.

Right. And then when OTB, and then by the time my mother died, my mother was getting home at one every night, 2.30 because she'd go to Yonkers. When you go to Yonkers for the night races, that's your warning, that you're a degenerate piece of fucking shit.

Did they still go on? Yonkers? They do comedy at Yonkers raceway. There's no, there's no horses up there? Yonkers, yeah. Yonkers still has horses. Have you ever done comedy up there? No, but somebody,

told me when I was in New York that they do have a night up there at the track you could book it when you're in New York Can you imagine performing in front of those fucks? I would do great. It would probably be fun. I know exactly how to get it. Of course.

Because I was one of those guys. Of course. You have to go up there throwing fucking heat about gambling. You got to. Getting your dick sucked. I mean, I still remember going to the metal hands. When the Pegasus was upstairs, the rest of her. My buddy was like a chef upstairs.

We had to wear a jacket to go up. But I still remember going to Meadowlands in 93. My buddy was a degenerate horse guy, and I would go with him because we'd go to Harlem first, buy a bag of Coke, then go to the track. And we would go to the racetrack, and in between races, you go to the stairways at the Middlelands. Have you ever been there? Fuck, no.

It's like a fucking shooting gallery. I mean, people smoking refa, people smoking crack, people doing lines, drinking beers. There's even hookers out there. We went to school with a girl from dead now. God rest of her soul, she fucking, she had the Hiv too, and she died in the car. Shit. But we grew up with her, and in 93, she got really, she was hot growing up.

But the Hiv, she already had the Hiv, and she was smoking crack. But we would see her hooking at the track, and we would all be talking. We'd go, there's Kathy, and we'd all fucking turn our backs, and she would walk by because if not you'd jump on you and Leach-a-a-a-and-a-and-asked your stupid questions and want to borrow ten bucks. And fuck out of here, Kathy. I went out there to see, I went out to the Meadowlands to see, like, Michael Spinks fight somebody, like Hitman or Hitman fight somebody.

When they used to fight on short-circuit TV, you would go out to the track. I remember going out there and seeing the tremendous fist fight under the TV, like two guys. Oh, real fight. Oh, yeah, just blasting each other at the Metallands. I also saw a tremendous fist fight at, at OTB on 178 Street. At the Port Authority. At the OTP. Because I used to come out and I would take the fucking bus over from Fort Lee and then come out and then go there.

And then I would always put like $2 on a horse. So I would walk in there to kill time. I saw them blasting each other in there one day. Two degenerate fucking gangers just blasted each other. You know, it's one thing to bet on baseball, basketball, football. But to bet on horses to me is even the most, it's even way out. there like you how to fuck do you know how that horse is feeling how do you know I I I don't understand that shit like when people put big money on horse betting

that's crazy it's a dirty business when I was growing up we realized that you had a bet on a horse that was getting shot with us but I forget the name of the steroid a horse if a horse bleeds from his nose he's good to go he'd have to give him a shot to stop the bleeding but At the Meadowlands in those days, like seven out of the ten races were won by those horses that would get no shots of that medication. I got you. And they had a note that at the bottom. And then you know trainers.

Right. A lot of people know trainers. You get calls from trainers. People tell you I got a tip from this guy. Right. So there's all these tips. But this is the way I look at. Like right now, my buddy owns a sports betting service.

And I look at it this way. Do you want me to tell you something? Michael Jordan was bet on his own games and losing. Art Sleetster went down the drain. Pete Rose went down. Pete Rose was betting baseball and still losing. He didn't know what the fuck he was doing. While he was coaching.

And he's Pete Rose. Nobody could call it. You have no fucking clue. That's why when somebody calls you and says they go nine for ten. Fuck out of here. It's impossible, guys. It might happen one time. Yeah, it might happen two.

It might even happen three, but then you're going to get hands and knees right up the fucking keister. They always, that kid. that got hooked on betting yeah he got hooked on bedding he was hanging out with us he was doing drugs like rolling fucking joints and doing quailudes and one night he goes hey Puerto Rican kid I loved him with all my heart he goes hey what the fuck is it that you guys always talk about I'm like what are you talking about you guys always talking about gambling how do you get into this shit and I told about lines like

all of us who at a bar we're talking about lines and how you bet and he goes hmm maybe Maybe I'll put a bed in this weekend. So that's Sunday. I was living with him. He was my roommate. And he goes, let's call Mr. H and put a bed in. And we fucking call Mr. H. He put in a hundred-time parlay.

Do you understand? What does that mean? That means the two teams got to win. I think it pays like a 10 team, a two-team, a five-time pal-A is 70 to lose 30. 140 to lose 60. Uh-huh. So they go up like that. Yeah.

He bet $100, 100-time parlor. Jesus. So he was going to win some dough. That was his first bet ever. Because I'm looking to make some money. I go then bet a parlorite, which years later I found out it's a sucker's bet. It's a sucker's bet. You have to take one team and bet all you got on it.

If you take, let's say in college football, if you bet the number one team, the whole season, you're going to be 8 and 2. Right. You're going to have six net winners. Right. If you bet 200, you're going to make 1,200, and then you retire for the fucking year. Sit the fuck down.

That's how smart gambling is. Right. They want you to bet parlayers. They love teasers. They love when you go, oh, but eight-time teaser. Good luck. Good luck when you give the other team 10 points because there's teasers that you got to pick three teams, but you could also delegate 10 points.

So if I'm giving you one, now I'm getting nine. You know what I'm saying? Like they're so fucking weird. All that shit I don't like. That's how they fuck you. He bet the Parley. The first game he had won out right. And the second game, it was Pittsburgh against Seattle.

And Pittsburgh was winning at the end of the first quarter, 27. He bet, he bet Seattle. Pittsburgh was beating him 27-0 at the end of the first quarter, and we all passed out. You know, Seattle came. back and beat him 28 2027 and he won that parlay my friends dad called him and said you want to pick up the money pick up pick it up tonight so that Sunday we went down there we picked up the money and he goes I want to go to the fanciest restaurant we could go to and we went to this place in a Fort Lee called Picolese

him or run on the Hudson River where Jackie Gleason used to look at buildings by the where Palisade amusement park got thrown out torn down and he fucking went I never forget that this place had lobster fraud the He fucking put his finger. Who's that, Joe? That was a comedy store. He ate the lobster, and he ran out of water, and he drank the fingerball. He had never been in a fancy restaurant before.

You know what the fuck he's doing? He took the finger bowl, and he drank it. Everybody looked at him at the table. But that's how they hooked them. You know, they give you a hook. When you gamble, they give you a hook first. They let you win a couple times. It's not them.

It's the universe. It always happens. It's the universe. And that's how you get hooked. That's how you get hooked. You think you figure it out. And now you figured it out. And once you got to figure it out, that's when they get you.

Fuck. And it's a slow process. And then in 93, when I got divorced, I ended up going to work for a sports betting service in Boulder. Guys out of Long Island, Stu Feiner and all those guys. The people that AJ Benza used to work for. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I went to work for their part. in Boulder and that's where I learned even more about gambling and the level of the degenerate

it's almost as bad as the junkie mm-hmm like business guys business guys CEO of companies calling you for information and they've used so much money on their credit cards that now they're using their reception as credit cards so their wives don't find out It was crazy It was what I learned then About gambling Really shut me down to gambling Fuck that shit

And that's why I don't Like when we used to do A couple years ago We used to do picks and shit like that And we lost like six weeks in the run I go I don't want to do it And you know what else I don't like about it

I don't want to encourage people to do it Because it's a bad habit to get into You'll never get out of it The only way to get out of it is by own, by losing your house, by losing. Fuck. You know, all those vices, they always get you at the end. I like the fucking little's fucking fantasy bets, this, that. I like it if it's responsible, if it's fun.

I don't have that gene to keep going, keep going. I don't have that. Me neither. I didn't have it. I like my $200 off. Fuck, I lost $200. I mean, that's my, that's me. Yeah, I didn't have a.

Except for this year in fantasy. football, I did win one league and I fucked them real nice. But that's, again, there's a, there's an end to it. Do you do anything else for adrenaline? Because like, I used, I used to gamble, not big money, but

a lot. And even when you're up, like, you should walk away and you just can't. You're like, oh, I'm up, I'm going to keep going up. Adrenaline in real life? Oh, I mean, is there anything else that you do that, like, because that gave me such a rush that, it was hard to walk away. I got to say,

stand-up gives you adrenaline yeah i i i feel the adrenaline which would stand-up and which is a new new thing but i i i i like it i haven't gambled since i started doing sand-up at all no i i stopped he had no choice he couldn't i was terrible but he couldn't win in sin city you you could give him a winner right you could give him a winner and he'd fuck it up you pick the wrong i never saw anything like it in my life you could give him a winner and he would pick something that you're like, why would you pick that? Like, you don't know nothing about this person. He's a bad gambling, really bad.

Like, I never saw anything like it. I would pick one part of the way. And then he bet's faggy. $7, $8. Right. You're wasting my time. You're wasting that time. Right.

If you're going to hit him, hit him. You're going to, hit him. $7. I didn't do $7. $25 or something. I only had seven left on the thing. You're fucking third grader? $13. You got to hit him.

You got to hit him to that's real adrenaline. Yeah. That's real adrenaline. Fuck that. When you want to throw your TV out the window. No, no, no. That's real adrenaline. That's why if you're going to go, go.

If you're going to get involved with that shit, go. Like, when I get involved, I go. Like, because it's gambling, I can't watch a whole sporting event. Because of my experience of PTSD. Now you can't? Just to watch? I'll watch. You'll pick one out.

If I got to go to the comedy store at 930, And there's an NBA game on, I watch six minutes of it to watch their offense, how they're playing defense. Once I see fucking shit basketball, it's over. Like, it's all. I just switch it. Right. Once I see what I think I, I'm old school. Like Bob Coosie.

I like setups. I like passes. I like one guy that's outstanding. That's basketball. I don't like fucking Jocamo Joe shit. Jocamo Joe, just four fucking. guys running and gunning out of control the center is driving down

no that's when I shut it I hear you the NBA to me now when I watch the NBA I love the guy you said Westbrook because he yells at people and he's just so intense when he told that kid to he told the parents to fucking not touch him and then he yelled at another fan I like

all that shit I like I can't watch the Lakers I saw you on one of those TV shows kill him saying if the Lakers don't go to the playoffs I think You're right. The Lakers got duped with LeBron James. I think he suck at them.

I think he came here just to produce TV shows. That's it. I agree. He just duked them. I mean, you know, you can't count out. They're unwatchable. Oh, no. They're unwatchable.

They're unwatchable. They need a fucking day. They're unwatchable. They need a refurbish. The Lakers are unwatchable, even with LeBron James. Something is not right. Nope. When you watch them, you're like, they're fucking clunky.

Yeah. They got to start from scratch. LeBron's got a... LeBron, you're going to stay here. You're the anchor. everybody else is going Honda came up for free agency He's 180 years old

He got to go to To keep every The only one I like is Coosma Who's Cusma Kyle Cusma He's good A white guy would a beard No

He's half black Half Mexican That's the guy that's the guy He's good He's good Pretty boy Yeah yeah he could play And he got fucking balls

But they look clunky Yeah he's fucking He's horrible to watch He kidnapped them the whole season Yeah They're horrible to watch Horrible to watch I like the art of

Yeah. I like the art of basketball. I like that guy that's in the paint and also he pops it out to that guy at the baseline Yeah, the three-footer that shows you pass the fucking ball move the ball make it easy It's an easy game. That's why I enjoy college basketball at this level like I told my wife the other night. We're watching Friday We got back from Dumbo and we were watching Virginia from Brooklyn. No Dumbow fucking the movie. Oh Oh oh oh oh we're watching the Virginia Tech against weather. Yeah, yeah, yeah when they blew the game against Duke at the last. They had him. The guy had him.

He had the fucking thing. But before that there was a game. Me and my wife were like, take that shit off. This ain't college basketball. This is running gun shit. Yeah. Nobody's paying attention. This guy's just trying to fucking score points.

All that shit. I can't watch. I hear you. But I love old school basketball. You know, I told Lee that, like, I never really was a Shaq fan. Not a Shaq fan at all. I come from the 80s. when all those centers would have beat the fuck out of Shaq.

He would have given it too, though. Bro, listen. He went up against Akeem Elijah when he was 37 years old. Akeem was already old. He fucked Shaq. He fucked Shaq up. He fucked Shaq up so much. They swept him in four fucking games.

Akeem was in a complete different league. And nobody ever saw that. Like, people forgot about that. Like, when I saw that, Shaq was done with me. He was a beat-up old man. He was 30 fucking seven years old. He did some crazy shit to Shaq. He embarrassed him to the fucking tea.

And then the next year they made him a laker. And it was forgotten about it. Well, I didn't forget about that. I never forgot about that. I know for a fact, Dave Cowens would have beat him to a pope at six foot nine. He would have fucking eaten Dave Cowan. No, Dave Cowan. He would have been, Shaq would have eaten Dave Cowan.

He would have been the prosciutto sandwich we just talked about. Listen to me. Dave Cowan. Six-nine. Shack would have had his fucking bullsack on his head. But 6-9, white, Irish, and tough. You got to shoot him with a bazooka. Two-10 pounds.

Shack was 300 pounds. Kareem with a fucking school shack. Moses would have picked up Shaq. I love those. Six-nine Moses. Slammed him. This is when, guys, and I know a lot of you people are sitting home going, Joe, you're out of your mind. But I want to see Moses Malone with Moses.

I love Moses. Moses led the league. scoring and with number two and rebound you, okay? 20 rebounds a fucking game in 1980, fucking three, two and one with the Houston fucking go check the fucking stats.

See how many 20 fucking rebound seasons Shaq had? Listen, no disrespect to the late great Moses Malone. I'm with you. Shack would have had him, he'd have had him in his pocket like a little... No. Yes. Moses would have killed him. Yes. Moses would have killed Shaq. Moses would

kill Shaq. I love The late great Moses Malone. Moses would not. Moses would have killed Shack. There's a couple, there's, Shaq would fuck Dave Cowan's in the ass. Shack would have eaten up Bill Wharton because he was a half of fruit cake. Bill Wharton, fuck him. Shack would have dunked on him.

Shack would not have fucked with Kareem. Kareen would have been a problem with offensively. Because Kareen would give you 40. But Kareem will give you 40 and Kareem also throw a beating up. Yes. And you do karate and shit. Nobody remembers fucking October. 78 Kent Benson

opening season game Milwaukee Bucks against the Lakers He made the little mistake of elbow and fucking No that was after he did the karate movie too Which I didn't understand why would you elbow Kareem and you saw him fight Bruce Lee You already saw it We already saw it this was after we already saw

And anybody who's ever heard anything about Kareem I heard Kareem is not a nice person No he's a prick I've always had good relations with Kareem I've seen him over the years but his reputation is that he's just not nice. Not nice. Very, uh, my uncle, my uncle taught him out of play conglars.

Awkward guy too. Awkward, awkward. But I think he would have killed Shaq. I think Willis Reed would have fucked Shaq up. Because Willis Reed wouldn't let him in the paint. Willish Reed would have annoyed him. And then Dollar Bill would have been over there fucking with him a little bit and shit. Shaq didn't have the, to, no.

He was a fucking beast, Joey. He's a beast, but it was a beast against nobody. I don't agree. He was a beast against nobody. the toughest guys that were covering. He's not like Shaq just playing. Who was fucking, he had DeKembe Motumbo. DeKembe Matumbo was terrible.

He was fucking terrible. They swept through. The worst center in the league. Keni, uh, Kiddiqui Matumbo, they beat the fuck out of the, you're nuts, the New Jersey fucking nets with Jason Kidd, he had fucking. No. And DeKembe Matumbo, when he was on the Sixers, he almost broke his fucking arm, dunking on him. He was horrible.

He was horrible. He was horrible. DeKembe Motombo. He had no center. I grew up with Wes Sunsel. I grew up with Bob Lanier. He would have fucked Bob Lanier and Will Sunseld. I still remember fucking Bernard King throwing the ball

at Bob Lanier one day during the game just threw the ball on his chest of some shit. And Bob Lanier looked at him with a size 26 sneaker. He would have stuck his foot up his ass. He would have stuck his foot up as air. I think so many centers that I grew up with would a kill Shaq. Just mentally. Mentally, he was.

He was a brute. Shack hadn't nobody covered him. Nobody. I do fucking centers. He had he fucked Patrick Ewing, Alonzo Mourney. Who did? Shakia owned all them. When?

All of them. Yeah, when there were 80. No. He fucked up Patrick Ewan. He fucked. His first game at the garden when Patrick, when he came into the league. Yeah. How old was.

No, Patrick was it good to go. I don't know the dates. I don't fact check. No. They were all old men. No. He had the only old man. Alonzo.

He didn't beat up on was fucking. African from the Houston Rockets. He schooled him, his rookie year. And it was embarrassing. Schooled him, his rookie year. And it was embarrassing. He did some crazy shit to she. He still wakes up in a middle night.

He fucking, David Robinson. He owned David Robinson. He was a panty. He fucking had Carl Malone like it was his little, like he was a babysitter. Let me tell you some, David Robinson. Like it was his babysitter. With his Navy bullshit and all that shit.

With his little Navy. And his muscles? Yeah, I couldn't deal with him. Carl Malone, though. He owned Carl Malone. Carmelones, have you ever seen Carmelone in your life? Yeah, I saw Carmelone. Fuck yet.

He's the size of your fucking door. I just saw Caramolone at Wildcard Boxing. He was there hanging out. Yo, Caramalone has been out of the league now almost 20 years. He's, you don't want any problems with him still. He's a fucking savage. He had him like it was his, like it was his, like it was a pet, like it was a gerbil. You know who he reminds me of Carmel, of,

of Shaq Shack reminds me and I love this guy I loved him I got to meet him his game wasn't my type of game but I really liked him he was a colorful guy God rest of soul Darrell Dawkins

Yes Darrell Dawkins was a fucking I showed this guy and somebody else the other day when Darrell hit Doug Collins in the face in the 76 finals versus up Maurice Lucas

yeah and they were fucking and then they were squared off in the middle of this shit but I always was a bill Walton fan he was good i love bill warton until game six versus sixers when julius slammed on his face and he called

offensive file i'm like you're such a fucking pussy he dunked it on his fucking whole family he dunked every time they don't even tomahawk shit they'll never even go to philly bill warton will never even go to philly that because julius irvin decided he goes you know what we're gonna lose but i got something for your fucking ass you and your white little hippie friends i got something for you

fucking grateful dead acid dropping And cock sucker. And dog, he took him one on one. And Walt, what was he thinking? Walton was like, I'll be up with him. What? Dr. Jake came on the way back. Oh.

That's a video. He had that shit like this, and he dunked it like was a nerve fool. Like, it was tremendous. He had that fucking shit right here. It's like he went like you fuck. And when he slammed it, if you watched the footage after that, Bill Walton runs to the ref and starts going offensive. No, it's not offensive.

He dunked on your family. He dumped on your fucking whole family. You're all your kids. Even your kids got PTSD. That's why Luke can coach this year. Right. Every time he sees a slam. Jesus had Julius.

Yeah. Genetically. Are they going to get rid of Luke? Yeah. LeBron, he ruined. He, yeah. He's, yeah. He's going to, I didn't know.

Did I just work here? That's like you saying, oh, yeah, I got rid of Leah. I just got a new guy in here. There's Billy. So are they going to fire Luke? Definitely. Definitely. They wanted to fire.

earlier in the season. Like I said, I watched them. He tried to take over the Lakers. He tried to get Anthony Davis traded. His best friend is Anthony Davis's agent. They had a whole fucking plan in store. People think that I have some personal vendetta against LeBron.

Listen, in real life, they say, oh, he's a great guy. I know he's a great guy. This isn't about, I'm talking about the character. LeBron James, the chosen one, the goat, a King James. I'm not talking about the person. This is improm. I'm a fan. I don't understand what sports. Everybody

understood why you would hate Derek Jeter. You get it. Either you love him or you're on the opposite teams. Tom Brady to this day, either you love the Patriots or fuck Botox Brady. Kobe Bryant. Can't stand Kobe Bryant or you love Kobe Bryant. For some reason with LeBron James, you're a hater, you're a hater. This guy tried to take over the Lakers. He told Anthony Davis, asked for a trade, we'll get you out of the Lakers, and then we're going to make our run for the championship. That didn't fucking happen, asshole. They've been on Luke Walton's ass all fucking season.

He wanted to get him fucking fired. It's been a disaster. Then he got his injury. He gets an injury. He sits out, I think it was 19 games. Instead of just being injured like everybody else, his physical therapist puts out a tweet, you guys have no idea what kind of pain, pain, pain he suffered with.

What about Russell? What about Paul George when he broke? his fucking leg in half Gordon Hayward from the Celtics they broke their legs in half their physical therapist didn't put out what kind of suffering do you think that was Paul George's leg didn't just break the fucking thing broke in half his physical therapist didn't put out he just he just trying to control every fucking narrative and he claimed he's the goat you're not the fucking goat get the fuck out of here you're the goat the fuck out of here who's the goat

Michael fucking Jordan's the goat's period period come on man you can talk all Who's your second favorite? My favorite players are it is. Michael Jordan. I mean, I didn't even, I hated Michael Jordan when he played. I was a Knicks fan in the 90s. You think I was sitting there celebrating when he was fucking us year after year after year after. I hated that cock sucker.

Now, I loved him and I wasn't blind and I enjoyed it. And I was there in North Carolina when they beat George. I was a fan of him. I loved him. I loved him. I loved it until it became my problem. At a certain point it became my problem I loved it when he first got in the league

But when it became a problem where the Knicks Were not getting anywhere because of this cock sucker Then it was started to come hate So I had a period of time like everybody else Like Mike, if I could believe in Mike I mean running around the city to get those fucking sneakers Like a crazy person This was a different time

So I can't even say Michael Jordan is one of my favorites I say he's the greatest player But my favorite, my favorite players of Altaif I did my top five I would go Julius Irving, Magic Johnson, Isaiah Thomas, Moses Malone, Bernard King, as far as my favorite players of that era. We're in agreeance on three of those. Moses, Julius, and who else did you say? Bernard.

Bernard King was one of my all-time favorites. I mean, it was lightning in a bottle. I saw Bernard open up a can of whoop-ass on Michael at the garden, his rookie year. You couldn't start him. You couldn't stop, Michael. Bernard King. Period. Everybody knows that.

For people don't know who brother Bernard is, watch his old footage. Unstoppable. Unstopable. You know what you could compare it to? It was a different style of play. But in terms of like, because Kevin Durant is like an old school score. Kevin Durant is like a guy who you're going to get 30 a night. Bernard, you're going to get 30.

You might get 50. You might get 60. And you might not even, like Bernard, there's no dunks. There's like Kevin Durant. There's no dunks. There's no highlights. Like you might get something every now and then. But like Bernard, his 60 point games, there's no, oh shit, did you see that play?

It's just, that's 60 points. You're not stopping Bernard King. Kevin Durant, you're not stopping him. He's like George Gervin. He got 50. Make it look easy. There's no, you know, fucking dunk it on your fucking family. No crazy crossover.

Is this just basket after basket after basket. And Bernard, during his run with the Knicks, even when he was with the Golden State Warriors, when he wasn't fucking whacked out of his tree on Coke, but that run with the Knicks, yo. That was a tremendous run. 60, 50, 43, 37. He scored 60 on the Celtics.

And he did the shit with broken fingers. Broken fingers and shit. He was, they shipped him out. He was the comeback player of the year. Because he was whacked out on the Bougar Sugar. And then he came to Jersey. He lived in North Bergen. And they caught him in North Bergen one night

with him passed out with the Coke on the t-shirt. Oh, no. And then we heard a rumor. When we were in the seventh and eighth grade, me and my friends heard a rumor that Bernard King would practice at midnight at Hudson County Park. Are you serious? Did you see him? Listen to me.

So me, Chuckie McGrane, who's the coach of Ramapo today, his brother, Whitey O'Donnell, and his kid, Brian Smith. we wore basketball hoars we went up there and waited in the weeds we waited in the bushes for brother Bernard midnight no lights only basketball only the moonlight are you fucking kidding me

8th grade Bernard King comes up get the fuck out of here when he was with the nets he was with the necks all the nets one of those he starts shooting he starts playing we come out of the weeds like we're fucking

like we're fucking homeless and he goes, what are you guys doing up here? No, we came to shoot with you. And then at first he was apprehensive. We played three-on-three. With Bernard King. One in the morning, one-third in the fucking morning, playing three-on-three basketball with brother Bernard King.

That's dope. Bryant-Smite was covering him. Bryant-Smite ended up going to Iowa for football, then dropped out. Now he's a stage hand. Good morning, Americans. He's been there since Jesus unless Chicago. Bryant's mite was covering him.

Bernard King went to spin. Brian went to steal the ball. He broke Brian Smyth's nose. Brian, why are you trying to steal the ball from Bernard King? Brian Smite was a crazy Irishman. He drove Brian to the hospital with us. Are you serious? And then we went to the diner by the hospital.

There's a little diner next to North Hudson Valley Hospital. And we went to the diner ate breakfast. He gave us autographs. And we all walked home. That's a dope story. Like nothing ever happened. That's pretty cool. I bet you he would remember that.

Like nothing ever. ever happened that's cool I just remember going to you when Julius first went to the Sixers he used to do things on Saturdays he would do seminars you had to buy a box of sneakers the tickets of being the sneakers so I had the owner dup on 49th and Bergen line the owner of that Congress is a Cuban dude I told him I'll give you 40 bucks with the tickets so he went through all the sneakers and found two tickets so he did one seminar at CCNY and the other one to afford Converse sponsored them.

Congress gave you a white t-shirt with red lettering that said Converse. They raffled off the limousines for the feet. I'll never forget us waiting online and Julius pulling up in a two-door Mercedes-Benz and walking out with a basketball and his son and he was palming the basketball

and I saw his hands for the first time and nearly fucking died. And then he would do a hour seminar where he would break down his little stutter step and then he would make you clap and he would fucking run to the other side and jump from the far line and slam dunk and we would go fucking crazy

we would listen at that time if Julius took his dick out I'd be the first one sucking it when I was in the eighth grade I'd be the first one sucking he was everything nobody understands he was a superhero what we saw when he was a net when he was a net with Super John Williamson and Big Burger Bob

who was the fat guy that they called Cheeseburger Oh my God don't do this to me. Not Super John. Super John was tremendous. Larry Keenan was in that for a while. But the Cheeseburger. Yeah.

What the fuck was his name? Everybody had the red, white, and blue basketball. Julius was everything. Julius was everything. There was eight categories. He led seven of them or something. Then he became a sixer. His first, it was funny because people were talking shit.

The other day, we were talking about people that were Beatle fans before John Ler. Lenin died especially if they were white nothing was good enough of them man I went to see Leonard Skinnerdy on that they're all right wait to the Beatles get back John Williams uh no super nine uh you know wait oh went to see lead zappar yeah whatever wait to the Beatles get back then John Lennon got shot you never heard from those people no more it was the same fucking thing I mean Doc was the fucking best doc they just had something about him in there they showed people at Rucker watching him at the Rucker you know and I was

blown away people were hanging on the fucking rubs. They showed all this shit. He went to school up in Boston somewhere. Yeah. Massachusetts. Massachusetts. Julius serving was everything. I love, I tell you who else I love, Billy Ray. Michael Ray Richardson, he was on that book of Sugar Hard. Sugar Ray. Last time I saw him, I saw him at the mall. He had just written checks at a car wash, and he got caught for writing checks. This is July of 85. That's the last time I saw him. Apparently he's doing good now. He's in Denver.

Is he? Because I think he's from Denver. I'll tell you, who else was one of my all-time favorite players? He played for the Seattle Super Sonics. Gus? Downtown Freddy Brown. He was good, too. Well, Gus, the wizard, and his brother. Yeah, Ray and Gus Willis.

Out of the Bronx or whatever he was from. I think from Yonkers? And Gus was his brother up there with that little finger on the show up in Seattle. He used to tie his sneakers with the lace behind. I remember I used to see that shit. Fucking, that guy I'm talking about was built like you. He was built like you. You was like five foot.

basketball. He was like five foot nine, a little on the chubby side. He would sit at the end of the bench with a brown bag, drinking a beer and shit. Yeah. What was his name? What is he? Downtown Freddie Brown. The only one I could find is John Williams, and he was nicknamed the hot plate.

No. No, that's on him. Okay. The hot plate. Net center in 1975, the net center. He had a brother. He also had a brother that played basketball. That's 75.

Okay. Sevent 74 to 75 or 75 to 76? Let's go 74 or 75. All right. Who was in that center then? Let's find out. Billy Pulse? No, he was a fat fuck, too.

Willie Sojourner? Willie Sojourner? No. There's a long-allet two centers I see. Let me try the other season. Ah, who gives a fuck? Don't worry about it. Mike Rappaport, I got to tell you something, man.

You've impressed the shit out of me. Appreciate that, Joe. the last couple of fucking years, you really have impressed the shit out of me. You've taken this game by the polls. Not fucking around with these people, Joey. You said nothing's going to stop me. I'm doing a podcast.

I yell at people. I always see you on that one sports show yelling like the white guy in the black dude. I love when you yell at the white dude. I love those fucking guys. I love them. And now I see you're on stand-up. You know, something that you went to do,

20 or 30 years ago and gave it a shot and then the acting bug caught you. And you like it? I love it. I love the unpredictability of it. And I also love the, you know, it's a, you know, it's a fucking, it's like a, a, a jigsaw puzzle. And I love the, the exchange, the immediate exchange from, from the crowd, good, better, and different and I just love the expression like it's like it's your shit there's no there's no there's no there's no take two there's no oh we'll do it again like it's it's it's it's an immediate

fucking thing and then you know the craft of it and and just you know like just just the whole the whole the whole feeling of doing something so that's so immediate I love it I love it and like we talked about the adrenaline of it, like, there's nothing like that, you know, and, uh, and the challenge of it. Like, you know, just the challenging, the challenge of it is, is, is, is, uh, I like it. You still act a lot? Yeah, I'm starting this show, uh, this third season of this, uh, Netflix show. We, we actually start today. Well, we start shooting, I start shooting tomorrow. They started shooting this show called Atypical. So I'm doing that for the next three months. And I'm going to continue doing the

Stand up all I do. Just in town locally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you want to spread your wings and go on a row. Spread my wings, but I don't want to overextem myself. Like, I still got to, like, you know, still work and shit and still, you know, find my shit. But, you know, I'm going out there. I'm going to do a...

I'm going to do a... I say you're doing a festival. I'm doing some festival. I'm doing a couple of things. Like in Jamaica? No, Jamaica. No, fucking Jamaica. There's something that you're doing it.

I thought you're doing your podcast there. No, no, no. Oh, no, no, no. I was fucking around with that. The Fire Festival, too. But I'm going to, I'm going to Bellevue, Washington. The Parlor Live in Bellevue, Washington. You've been there?

No, I got a Warren in Seattle. I can't go back. Are you serious? 25 fucking years. You're fucking funny. Can't go back. So you've never been to the Parlor Live. I'm going there.

April 26 or 27. Not an extra dynamo fucking. That's fucking funny. I can't go in. win but they won't come again that's we cut a deal so i tried to get the thing paid for and that the case is so old they can't find it so you can't do parlor live no i can't do shit i can't even leave the country because of those i had warm warrant there and won in idaho but they're both non-extradition i can you perform in idaho yeah now i can't i think they took care of the one but not

in not in belview washington no i can't step foot in the washington i could do portland and give Washington the finger from across the That's fucking funny What are you going to do? These are the fucking shit You reap what you sow Right You know so now I can't go to Seattle

I can't go to Cuba That's fucking funny But I love it I'm enjoying doing it I'm enjoying doing it I mean you look good up there I watched you two weeks ago When you were happy up there

You were having a good time I'm like look at him God bless him that You know what man A lot of guys in this town Complaint Everybody in this town complain Nobody fucking, what does he tell him?

It was just on yesterday. The movie with the black kid, Jamie Fox, and the Scientologist. Tom Cruise? Oh, yeah. Whatever that movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a good movie.

He tells him Darwin, you know, whatever. How to readjust yourself. You know, if this is not taking you down the wrong road, and if this is not going the way you want it, you have to evaluate your life every 90 days, especially here. You know, you expect you're going to get 22 auditions. And also, you get 11.

And also, for me, like, you know, like, I don't use this word artists a lot. Like, I don't, I don't like to throw that word around. But I guess, you know, I could consider myself. Like, I always be like, I'm just an actor who does it. Like, but the, the artistry of stand-up and the exhilaration of stand-up and the, the mathematical scheme of stand-up. and you know this, you know, taking a joke, taking it, you know, how far can you take it, pulling it back, like all those things that great comics do, figuring that and learning it and trying to, you know, get some sort of, you know, fundamentals of it.

I love it. I love it. And that artistic expression of, you know, that unfiltered thing, You know, like, you know, it's like, it's like, I mean, you with the coffin, you know, as much as I love acting, and I'm always going to love it, you only get that sort of, that same feeling in between action and cut. And I, I, it's, it's exhilarating. It's sexual when you're between action and cut when I'm acting. But when you, you, you're doing it on stage and, you know, 20 minutes, 40 minutes,

whatever you're doing. It's like that same thing, but it's like an extended, it's like extended, fucking because you get it when you're acting but you know takes it you know and you do it but but when you're doing 45 minutes like there there's an exhilaration and I and I haven't done it enough I hopefully I'll never it'll never go away but like during that time when you're on stage where there's 10 minutes five minutes 20 minutes like there's a um an excitement you get right I mean do you still have that excess so I think when you don't have the excitement that's time to that's when it's time to quit yeah so I love that I always talk

about that how I like that feeling walking up to the stage I don't like it you don't like it but once I touch the stage and touched the microphone the the transformation of those internal feelings what happens when you speak into the mic and all those feelings go away I get a lot of anxiety still on stage yeah and that's how I know I love something I know I'm serious about if I don't care about something what do you care about right up then talk and talk and Take their money and go home. Right.

When you're really concerned about them, I want them to have a good time. I want to fuck up. I want to be funny. I want to be able to hit my marks. I want to relax. Right, right. I want to, you, the science is to be up there throwing heat. But at the same time, you're so relaxed.

Yeah. Like, I just did Buffalo a couple weeks ago to the casino, and I was so relaxed while I was on stage. I was hitting all the notes. Everything I had looked at before I went on stage, I was hitting them all proper. Uh-huh. I tried new jokes. They worked because the energy, the excitement. You learn stand-up is a fucking long journey like anything else.

And I compare it to something like law. I like watching attorneys. I only am I a fan of music, but I love trials. I love watching attorneys paint a picture for you. They're doing a certain form of stand-up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So once you find out what your style is, you know, now you could really attack it. It's finding out.

Yeah. It's finding out. And then after you find out, then you have to let your mind and body develop its own style. Like your first three or four years, you're imitating six or seven comics. Not imitating, not stealing. No, I know what you mean. You're imitating. And then the more you do it, the more you come out.

Right. When you squeeze that piece of shit out. Right. And the head pops out. Right. You've been eating bread. You haven't been eating fucking old brand. Right.

And you squeeze it. You're pushing. You're squeezing. So that's, I still. I still enjoy the fear. I got you. I love it. The fear.

You know, I tell people, before you rob somebody, before you do something really bad, you go death. I used to always go deaf. I would hear it. That's why I love the Godfather before he shoots a lot so. Because they take the sound of the train and mix it in with your ears with that. If you're doing something so off kilter, your ears are going to be ringing. It's so off kilter. Your adrenaline is pumping so hard.

Your heart is pumping so high. start going numb, like when you're going to rob somebody. Anything. It could be the other day something to describe Tyson walking into the ring. You know, that walk, that last thing, you should be going through all these emotions in your system. When those emotions aren't there, it's time to go play tennis. I agree. Where are you going to be in the next month?

I'm going to be in Bellevue. April 26th. 27, 26, 26, 27 to Bellevue. I got to tell all the people that Joey can't come up here. They know. At Parlor Live. They know. And then those are, and I got a few other ones, but that's immediate.

I can't remember. I don't want to look on my phone. Where can they find you? They can find me anywhere you look on social media at Michael Rappaport. And I got the I Am Rappaport Stereo podcast, which I love doing. And Joey's been a guest twice. And I love doing that too. And I love doing the church of what's happening right the fuck now.

And you squash your beef for Pauly Shaw. Ha, ha, ha, ha. I saw that. How long was that beef for? It was, it was quick. It was a short-lived beef. Oh, was just a little beef? I thought it was a beef for a movie you guys did 20 years ago.

No, no, no, no. Paulie's good. Paulie's a good dude. He's a good dude. He's a good dude. He's a fucking pisser. Listen, man, you always got an open door here. I'm happy that he came up today.

I appreciate that. I did the show. It's always a pleasure to see you. Thank you. I'm one of your biggest fucking supporters. Thank you, Joe. I watch your videos and the shit you young. That's why we had to talk about Smolette.

One last thing. You think Chicago really prosecute him? They're going to get him on. He's getting something on something. I don't know if it's federal. Fucking FBI. Is the FBI involved in? Yeah, because the mail stuff.

I guess like the forging mail. That's right. And it made too big of a stink of this whole fucking thing. It's too big of a situation. I mean, Trump's talking about it. Chris Rock's talking about it. We're talking about it. Everybody, every other fucking podcast is talking about.

every news. I don't feel bad. Listen, like I just told you, you know what? The son, even an old dog gets a warm spot

on the sidewalk once in a while. Something happened, he got a good attorney. Look at, what's going on with Hinesstein? You haven't heard nothing. He's playing him like a fiddle. He's playing him like an old school Jew.

He's giving him money to keep the trial, keep pushing it back. He's deciding on his legal counsel. That's an old school trick. Yeah. Oh, well, I don't know how I feel about it. I'm not saying fucking give him

He's got to get, I just want, He's doing six months. You're doing something. He's doing, he's going to do. Apologize what the fuck you did. It's just irresponsible. He didn't kill anybody. He didn't hurt anybody, but it's just irresponsible.

Again, he's a guy that wove somebody's dreams. Listen, I'm going to be in a stand-up and going to Vanekchubbic acting class. And there were girls that when I booked something would say, if you got me a meeting with your agent, I'll do anything for you.

So, can you imagine having a movie? It's just a Hollywood disgust thing. Oh, Harvey was... It's a Hollywood disgust story. And rape is very hard to prove. Rape is very hard to prove. Especially if it's years ago. If he's very smart, he'll get investigators to break balls

because the last thing your girlfriend wants is for me to call her old boyfriend. Because that's what's going to happen. See, now when they get this team, they're going to start harassing. It's an investigator. Hi, we want to talk to you about Michael Rappaport. I'm good friends with Michael.

I've known him for six years. We worked together on Copeland. What happens when that investigator leaves? You're going to call me. They go, listen, the investigator just got over here. What? What are you talking about the investigator? And all of a sudden, you're going to start getting more called.

And all of a sudden, that's what drives these women crazy, is to relive that. And they have to go back into a trial and relive that moment. And again, and again. And that's why he has to hire two women. Right. To go at him, to call him cunts, to call him liars. To say, you know, we checked your period. What about the guy you fucked the night before?

Didn't you have sex the night before with some little Chinese guy in the village? You did ecstasy with him. Well, what does that have to do with Harvey, well? You did exosy. Maybe you didn't know your frame of mind at the time. The attorney's job is to put a doubt over what happened. A doubt. Just a doubt.

Just to make you think a doubt. I see Harvey playing the fucking system Oh yeah Okay I see Harvey playing this is Cosby wasn't smart enough to play the system He was just an ignorant dumb fuck He was too stupid That fucking guy's in jail

He's in jail Isn't that crazy He's in jail He didn't play the system He could have played the system He could have All he had to do is take a lumps up The cash out

And put on the table And put on the table and say Play these bitches Get all these bitches Lie Detect the tests Keep fucking going at him He just wanted to be Mr. Fucking Mr. America

He thought he was going to be cool and smile and crack a joke. It wasn't about that. You got three women there. And like I said in the beginning, how many fucking witnesses are really all this shit? I piece everything together. For me that live in this fucking city anymore and this disgust, I have to put all these things together. From Harvey to Jesse, this is what happens when you're here. When you want something that bad that you'll put a noose around your neck and make up a story like that.

And you want some bad that you already got. You and me, we fuck around. I tell a lie about this. We exaggerate this story. We exaggerate that story. But for me to put a noose around me, go to the hospital, tell them I got beat up by two guys. I want you to think about that.

You're nuts. What drives that? It's a thing called Hollywood. I mean, they passed Marilyn Monroe around until they fucked to the death, didn't they? I mean, everybody, oh, Marilyn and Maryland. They fucked to the death. They fucked to the death. Then when they went on, when she got to the death,

the siff and the hiff and she had a little creature crawling on her pussy they figured they didn't want it anymore they killed a bitch but do you think when we leave in the parking lot now we're not recording now right maybe you and lee could smack me around because i got something i'm trying to do like just but make it like make it where it's like bruises can show we're not recording anymore right can't do it because i'm friends a year and they have to your motion no no it's fine it's fine i have a friend i'll fly out here that'll hit you who throw you through a play class window but we're not recording now right because i yeah we're always record okay oh shit we all recording. I don't want to get that on tape.

Don't worry about nothing. All right. I love you, Cox. Thank you for making the trip up here. Don't forget. Pittsburgh is sold out. Your day I got left in the month of April is 420.

We added a second show up to the Pabstita. My May dates have been rescheduled. I will hit you with the new dates. By the end of the week, I'm very sorry. San Antonio, Dallas, Detroit, and Omaha have to be rescheduled for September or November because I

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You're a brand new man. Their products are clean, Bobby, and they aren't like the fakes with fake advertising at these fucking little reliable stores you go They got shit. They got nothing. Listen, go with a trusted winner. CBD lion.com. And for the church family, I'm going to give you 20% off when you order. Check out with fucking church. CH, you are CH. And I'm going to give you the best CBD. Everybody asks me, what's the best CBD around? CBD line. You know why? Because they back up their shit. So go to CBD line right now and put in church at checkout and get 20% off. And as usual, my family over it on it, the best. Whether it's alpha brain, shroom tech sport, shroom tech immune, the protein powder. Listen, this is the way to get your body in tip top shape. The alpha brain, if you do a lot of writing, thinking, you're overwhelmed.

Alpha brain is the way to go. What I'm going to do for you today is go to honor. Take a look around. I can't help you with the kettlebells or anything else, but I can help you with the supplements. Any supplement you see me? If I was just starting out with almond, I'd start with alpha brain and shum tech immune. Just start with those two. Give them a fucking whiz and let me know.

what you think. If you're not happy with the Alphabrain, there's a 100% money back guarantee. And guess what? They don't want the product back. That's how much they believe in their product. So go to honor.com right now and press in. Church, boom, and get 10% off your order delivered to your door. Again, I want to thank Manscape.com. I want to thank Audit and I want to thank CBDd.com. But most importantly, I want to thank you, motherfuckers for listening, believing, and supporting us. All right? I'll see you guys Thursday morning. Have a great fucking day and have a great week. Stay black.

Kick this fucking Mulee. Still up all night. Running this marathon. Look. Now I can't promise commitment, but I swear we'll have fun. If you ask, I'll be honest, girl, you're not the only one. Just a man on the mission. With my hand on my gun.

A couple niggas to hate me, but way more people show love. Nickers trying too hard. They die in the board. Turn around a hate on me like it's a crime to evolve. Too afraid to be different. Too ashamed to just listen. See, I'm way to 100. So now they hate on my niggins.

Tried to hate on my prippin. Try to hate on my business. Not to call you a bitch. They're going to hate on my business. So if you fucking with nip, let you know my attention. Got to think like a rider. You got to know your position. So if it's cool, then we can hop the Monson Mercedes cool.

Pop the corp off the superior bulls. Crank the music blowing circles out the road and just enjoy the fuel. She said, I said, if you are my... Me or something with you, Mom. Matter of fact. I'm not tripping. with your nigga. Scared to lose what you got is you looking for something different. Me, fly cripping, international tripping. I got my numbers up and now they pay for my statistics.

Yeah, young nigger, started off with a vision. Built the shit up from nothing to the critics, I ain't listen. Now, transition, so check out how I'm living. We v12 pushes and they transmissions is slipping. Nigga, get your bitch, because I be bitch getting. Treat her like she want to be treated, but I ain't tricking. Beat it like she won't her shit beat it, but I don't kiss it. Just Blame it on that shit that we smoking plus we're sipping it. Look, double cups. She's trying to double luck because I just hit it once, but she caught a double nut. Nasty.

She used to double dutch. To quit to fall in love, what the fuck? She said, if I was yours and you was mine, would you do me like you do him and have someone on the sky? So keep your middle while I stay on my ground. Sit me up and we're going to spend some time. Look, if I was yours and you was mine, would you do me like you do him and have someone on the sky? So keep your nigger when I stay on my grind Sit me up and we gonna spend some time

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