The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #674 - Tony Hinchcliffe

Episode Date: April 11, 2019

Tony Hinchcliffe, stand up comedian and host of the "Kill Tony" podcast, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio. This podcast is brought to you by:  Teeter Inversion Table - Go to Teeter.com/church for $70 off your Teeter Inversion table PLUS $100 worth of accessories, FREE shipping and FREE returns.    Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.    

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Coming to your living room Beautiful day to be alive Tony Hinchcliff The Christ Killer And your uncle Joey Motherfuckers Here we go From all the gunmen

Them Don't keep on man Friend Fire a lot of people I'm gonna keep in five Tony hate you from the fucking My mom's late So I had to have you

I'm a while I didn't know Tony hate you from the fucking house What's up I can't call it Great to have you back Yeah been a while and shit I did not know you were a heavy

Pink Floyd fan Huge Pink Floyd fan Now between you and I Do you like to sit Barrett shit? Really? Honestly, not that much. Oh my God. It's fucking horrible.

I rather hear Yoko Ono jump up and down with a ukulele. Yeah. It was like when people came up to me, there were certain types of music when I was growing up, when people came up to me and said they really liked this, I would look at them and say, really? Or is it that you're trying to fucking be cool?

Right. Because this is garbage. Yeah. He was trying to be cool. Let me know. The early Pink Floyd is like Yoko Ono, it's like nails on a fucking board. Yeah.

You know, I didn't start. start coming around till I wasn't hip to Pink Floyd as much as Led Zeppelin Sabbath. And then when I took a hit of acid and I went to see a midnight movie. When I was growing up, midnight movies were huge Tony Hinchcliffe. Every movie theater had two movies. What's the movie where people yell and scream? Oh, Rocky Horror. Rocky Horror.

He had Rocky Horror. And then the other one would have a classic or a rock concert. the song remains the same and one of the ones I went to see was Pink Floyd live at Pompeii oh yeah I know that yeah I had that DVD yeah we went to see that in the movies you know on a hit a fucking acid or metta net that dude juice or whatever the fuck we did we went in there and I remember leaving they going there's something to that Pink Floyd and but I had dark side of the moon I had dark side of the moon in the eighth grade yeah because I liked the song of money and I told lee I I used to have the McDonald's All-American basketball poster on my wall.

I had a picture, Dr. Jay, about the slam. I had another picture, Led Zeppelin. That was a backwards picture. It was taken, so everybody was opposite. So if Jimmy Page was really a righty in the picture, he was a lefty. It was the weirdest picture. It was very rare. I had done on my wall, and this kid, Vinny Lynch, God rest of his soul, took me,

and I took a hit of fucking blotter acid. I was maybe freshman year. Jesus. I took a blood acid with like five or six beers, and I got fucked up. And I went home and I laid down, and I had the eight track to Dark Saturday Moon. I had one of those portable eight track players,

and I put dark so the thing was in my ear. Yeah. And that on the run, the pianos and shit. And that's the first time I really started tripping. The posters are going, I mean, that thing, you could play that for somebody who's stone sober. You got good speakers. I mean, it's.

He gets he used to when he would get me really high on on edibles and then bong hits He'd put that stuff on and it's like I understand that you say it's like made the trip It's it's it like gets your heart rate going like it's not it doesn't even really sound like music to me It's not the moon will fuck you up Is that the one with planes like Oh, okay oh my god that one's even worse. That's the wall the wall the wall is a psychological The logic effect of the mess. Have you listened to those things sober, though?

Yeah, I've listened to it sober. I mean, it's interesting, but I just start thinking about when I'm high and it gets me all riled up. Yeah, that's too many edibles. That's just the edibles. You're having flashbacks. I loved as a young kid getting that fucking eye. Yeah. And putting that on to test my wits.

Well, that's how it started. That was my world. That's how it started with me in high school. When I started getting stoned with me and my. buddies I mean that was it it was on like Donkey Kong and then you know Pink Floyd was really the first start I ever appreciated pink Floyd sort of got me into Tarantino which got me in you know respecting art you know it was Floyd and Tarantino that was it when I was in high school I remember our senior year we had like our rivalry week or whatever where you know you hang out with

the buddies and all this and each night everybody crashes at everybody else's house like each okay so Wednesday's Tony's night and I put together this whole thing where me and the buddies watched it was Super Troopers and then I showed them Pink Floyd matched up with Wizard of Oz now back then

you know you had to literally have the freaking VHS or whatever of Wizard of Oz and you had to have a separate CD player to play the two things

and you had to match them up yourself it's not like you can go on YouTube you just type in WIZ and the rest pops up now and you could watch it matched up but that stuff matches up and it's one of the great anomalies One of the great mysteries to me up there with D.B. Cooper and everything is how the hell does that stuff match up? It matches up lyrically. It matches up video-wise. You've done that, right?

I saw it when that shit first came out and I was blown away. It's ridiculous. And it's not something that it's fucking crazy. Yeah. Because either they made that album knowing what they were doing and sort of like, oh, we need this to match up with Wizard of Oz. Like, why would they do that? But lyrically, time. time-wise, all these things for 52 minutes. You know, it ends with her putting her head to the tin man's heart and it ends with that heartbeat, you know, all this stuff. And it's what the best-selling album of all time next to the Eagles greatest hits or whatever. And then it's dark side of the moon, which says a lot because, you know, they've always painted Pink Floyd, they being like, you know, whatever media and people is this just psychedelic band.

But you ask any musician who their favorite bass player, you know, whatever is, they tell you. Roger Waters, Pink Floyd, you know, and that's the thing I think with Sid. Sid got a bad reputation, I think, because he didn't want to play anything mainstream. And those guys wanted to make money and have hits. They're like, we could have hits. Yeah, this guy's throwing forks against the wall and hit his hand with a hammer and yelling. It was tough to listen to when it's really weird when I speak to people who are high up in music, which is not a lot.

And they say, I mean, who's your favorite guitarist? Like, I love Jimmy Page. Okay, I think Jimmy Page is brilliant. The song remains the same. Proves it. I love Pat Benatar's guitar player. I love Randy Rose. But the guy that splits my heart in half with his guitar,

there's been two guys. And that's David Gilmore and Eric Clapton. Yep. I'm with you on that. And both from that same fucking school of guitar playing. Yep. I could lie to you and tell you all this shit. My first experience of Pink Floyd was Dark Saddam.

And then I was lost. in this Sabbath stones, Who World and whatever. And I started hanging out with this dude and he had his shed. And he put it on fucking animals. Okay. Now, if you're high and you're not ready for animals,

it will take you fucking down. And I was groomed on animals to the point that if my daughter's around, I put dogs on her. Yeah. If she's playing, like she plays Jenga in my office on the floor, we play Jenga together, I'll fucking put dogs on.

Yeah. And when she hears the dog's barking, she reacts to me. She asks me what that is. And I tell her that there's three types of people in the world. Dogs, pigs, and fucking sheep. You got to pick one. You could be a pig and end up like Harvey Weinstein. He could be a fucking dog.

And he just breaks it down to you. Lyrically, in the beginning, you've got to be crazy. You've got to have a real need. You got to sleep on your toes. When you're off the street, you've got to be able to pick out the easy meat with your eyes closed. That tells you the story of your life right there. If you're going to go out into the jungle,

that better be your fucking monica. Before you leave the house, that's it. It's not a fucking day. He painted it out for you, you know. I don't even know what the second verse is, but I know it's like fucking, you end up with cancer, and you're fucking listening to,

you're on a hit of acid. Your mind is fucking somewhere else. And this guy's telling you that if you don't attack, you're going to end up with fucking dying. an old man of cancer in Florida and shit. And you're listening to this. And all of a sudden it takes this fucking guitar. This Gilmore comes in.

You hear these dogs barking. And in those days, you got monotone speakers. So the speakers, the barking would come out of two speakers at two different times. It would blow your fucking brains off. So you got the lyrics, right? You got the lyrics. You got the guitar. The creator, the guy who's writing it is the bass player who, and basically their rivalry,

Roger Waters and David Gilmore never got along They couldn't stand each other But that's what fed the band They were competing with each other Oh, you think the baseline to money Is gonna be what steals the show Wait till you see what I go cook up in the room I'm gonna go write the guitar solo

You son of a bitch, right? So this competition, this healthy competition Made it so that they're literally trying to steal the show He writes comfortably numb Gilmore is like, well, I'll go write the guitar solo then They did those things separately Like sort of together but really separately Gilmore would go off and do whatever and figure that out.

So you got the lyrics, you got the guitar, you got the bass, drums, whatever, sure, they got a drummer, written by the bass player. Another crazy fun fact is they were the first band to ever apply colors or decorate a stage. It used to just be a black curtain. That was it. It wasn't, there wasn't no inflatables, lasers, colors. There was no screens. No band was showing anything behind them. That wasn't a thing.

It was listen to the music. Watch us play. So when you factor in everything, and to this day, and not only back in the late 70s and 80s, were they spending more money than everybody else to put on a big production. But to this day, I got to go see Roger Waters at the Staples Center this most recent time with my friend Tall Wilkenfeld, amazing bass player, one of the best in the world. And she loves comedy, her and I made friends.

And she's in deep with everyone in music. Everyone looks up to her. It turns out at the end of the show, Roger Waters, we were in the green room with everybody that's in the band and everything. But Roger is not there. He has his own separate green room with like chocolate fountains and everything, like stuff you just dream, like stuff you hear and imagine made up stories. And but the point is, is we were so in that she ended up running into the guy, you know, in the middle of the big staple center that like runs everything. And because like, he's like, hey, tall. And she's like, hey, blah, blah, but.

And I listened to them and he was telling her like you see that up there. That's an extra whatever it was, 15 million in speakers that they brought in, that they just have hanging from the top of the Staples Center like extra extra super crazy sound that even, you know, she didn't know about it. It was like inside information basically. Like they still to this day are pushing it to blow people's minds away to shreds. Well, that was the problem why they didn't tour the wall. They did the six dates in Philly or in New York And they did the other six dates and fucking because the production was too expensive They weren't no I paid $15 for those tickets

That's crazy you know I think the top ticket was $28 maybe 25 So they broke even on those shows you know I read somewhere where they basically broke even they couldn't tour that It was first off if you watch everything made there was a couple bands between, I say, 69 to 80, before cocaine took over this great country of ours. Everything was pretty much every band. If you watch the videos and all that shit, even Woodstock, it's made because they assume that you're tripping. If you watch the song remains the same, there's colors in there. There's sketches of him climbing up the wall and touching Alex to Crowley and then the guitars.

and the fucking lights, they made shit to fuck with you. When you listen to Pink Floyd and Uran Acid is where you see the brilliance. You hear that heartbeat throughout their songs. It matches up with your heartbeat. All their music has a heartbeat to it, a rhythm, and it matches up with your rhythm. And deep into the trip, you'll realize you're breathing.

It's fucking crazy. And I see what you're talking about, even with the Wizard of Oz, because way before the Wizard of All, Like when my mom died, they came, my mom died in November 8th. The wall came out a couple weeks after that. And one of the best songs in the wall is mother. It's a great fucking song. Unbelievable.

And here I am at parties. The album would play and I'd have to listen to this fucking song. And it was like, Jesus Christ, you know, it was a beautiful jam. I mean, I think it hits everybody at a thousand miles. Oh my God, it just throws your fucking feet off, you know. But by that time, by the time I went to see the wall, I was already convinced that David Gilmore was up there. But what I...

I'm fucking 56 years old. I went to see this concert when I was 17, okay? What do I remember from this night? I remember the lead-up. Tony Hedglyt. The lead-up was one of the best things ever. Because the wall came out, tickets went on sale, and the countdown began.

And in those days, it was like, Lee, I know what we've been doing lately, but we're going to kick it up for this concert. Somebody's going to die. Like, we were 17, and we had already decided. Jesus. Somebody's going to die. The war was an event in my hometown.

Like 80 people from the group that we hung out with all went, made the trek to fuck in the National Coliseum. It was five fucking nights. so all of us went to one of the particular nights but that album came out maybe November 20th or something like that that's all you heard

there was no Springsteen there was no Led Zeppelin there was no Michael Jackson the city was infested with the wall everybody's house you walked into was blown away people were blown the fuck away as big as they were with Thriller

I'm telling you Christmas you were going to people house nobody even had Christmas music on everybody was blown away by the fucking wall and once new year's hit it was just 40 days I never forget like we're like now we're going into deep deep territory acid every night fucking formaldehyde fucking crystal THC it was four or five nights a week getting ready for this fucking show how long how long did it take for the album to hit if it came out the 11th was like a week two we like how long that day everybody was anticipating it see he fucking

and did an interview where he said something about, you know, I like playing, but I hate the fucking people. That's how arrogant Waters is. He goes, I wish we could play with a wall in between us. He made that statement, like in 19, fucking 75. And the name of the album is the wall. It's about him growing up in Eastern Germany during fucking Hitler or something like that. And it's a fucking, how do you classify, Joey?

Is it an opera? is an album, it's a fucking work of art. Yeah, it's in everything. And you have to see the lead up to it. Like, they just didn't fucking take four years off and get a house in Jamaica and buy a pound of Coke. If you look at their hits, it was 75, 76, 78, 79, and it was five, four fucking albums

that will remain the greatest albums of all time. I mean, Stevie Wonder put out three hours. And he released songs to the key of life, which is fucking brilliant. I can name a couple artists, but it'll never happen again. You know, I don't want to sound like that old guy that's putting shit down. But it'll never happen again. Look at the release dates. Crazy thing.

Wish You were here. Came out, right? And that might be the most recognizable song, but it's the worst song on the album. You kicks it off with Shine on You Crazy Diamonds. There's only five songs on the album. Shine on You Crazy Diamonds, which is ridiculous for 14 minutes, right? And then what? And then wish you were here.

And then have a cigar, which is the jam, right? And then welcome to the machine. And then they close it out with an even jazzed up steroid version of Shine on You Crazy Diamonds. Two of the songs are the same song, but one's different, you know, just pumped up and different. And again, the lyrics and all these things are ridiculous. I mean, just unbelievable. What's the release date? So the dark side of the moon came out in 73.

Then Wish You Were Here Was 75. animals was 77 the wall was 79 and what was the album before dark side metal dark side of the moon yeah before dark side of the moon what was the out obscured by clouds metal metal and then adam of a mother adam at a part of adam her mother yeah will go will come out 69 that's not a bad one i don't mind that one i like metal metal has what on it let's see Metal has that one fucking jam, the one that they did live in Pompeii. Be careful with that axe, Eugene. Might be.

I think it's around there. You got to check out David Gilmore live in Gadsk. Tremendous. He does a version of that shine on you crazy diamonds where it's just almost all just him singing. Oh my God, that guy's voice. These guys took care of themselves. Side one is one of these days a pillow of winds, fearless. San Trope

Shamus and on the side two only has echoes. Echoes. The whole album is echoes. When they do echoes in that Pompeii Stadium and he starts going crazy on that fucking guitar, if you don't feel that for people who, you know, just buy animals.

Just buy animals. Listen to the words. Listen to the lyrics. His guitar. I don't even know his guitar. To me, my favorite album, musically of his, Gilmore, is animals. Yeah. I think his guitar solo in the beginning of dogs, at the end of dogs, I think sheep,

the work on sheep, pigs, the guitar is fucking brilliant. There's only five songs on that album. Yeah, that's what they did. They just did their own fucking thing. There was five on animals, five on which you were here. But the songs were nine minutes. You know, at that time, they knew. They had 17 minutes.

So the first side is pigs, and then it's a minute and a half and then they have a 17-minute song, dogs. Then pigs, the first part on side two is 11 and a half. Sheep is 10 and a half, and that's it. And there's another minute and a half to close. It really, and, you know, you, when he, so they come off the wall and, you know, they've got the midgets and the whole thing building the fucking wall.

There you are tripping on acid. And there's midgets and there's a plane and there's all this shit. But if I had to define the moment that blew me away, like that moment that you're like, I'll never forget this was when he came up on the top of the wall and did the guitar solo or comfortably numb. That was it. And you know what? It's live on YouTube.

The night I went, the first night, opening night, is on YouTube. Wow. Somebody tape those shows and put them on YouTube. Wow. So you can watch all of them. It's fuzzy. It's shitty quality. But I didn't know you were Pink Floyd guy, brother.

Huge, man. I mean, they, you know, I was so depressed after high school. I had my, you know, I had a little case of the broken heart, you know, all that, missed my high school sweetheart. We had broken up and I was just sad and out of it. Pink Floyd kept me going. It was the only thing at one point that I really had that I loved. It was just this love for their music.

I annoyed all of my friends, all of my family, annoyed the hell out of them for years through high school. And after that, when I moved out here to California for the first time, living with my brother and he had a couple roommates and they had this speaker system in the living room area it's like this four-bedroom house or whatever and man i would blast that show i was the first one up i didn't care that i was waking him up it was a beautiful california day and floyd's jamming and that's the it's set the tone for every day when i got out here and it's just it's it's just perfect music to me there's pink floyd and then there's everybody else between us i've gotten into some arguments with people because I'll argue.

I'll get into an argument with somebody. If they want to get crazy with the Beatles and all that, I'll argue it, man. I will go nuts. I've said it a thousand times. My neighborhood, there was a lot of motherfuckers said and spick and all this shit. And there was never an argument. If you wanted to get into an argument in my hometown, start talking shit about music. It was a fucking argument that.

In fact, yesterday on Twitter, somebody, one of the Tabascos, the last name was Tabasco, there was five of them. One of the Tabascoes said, hey, I'm friends with Tabascoes, they send their love. And I go, I just talked to the guy the other day. They were where I lived when I was 16, 17, 18.

They were the neighbors to the runnies. And the one brother thought he was Eddie Van Halen, you know, but he didn't play the guitar. He just had the long hair. Father, cut that fucking hair. You know, it was one of those Italian families, and they had five boys, but we would sit there

and argue for hours. Like, he would go in his house, irritated. Because he'd start with, you know, fuck Ozzy Osbourne and we're like, fuck David Lee Roth. Ozzie could eat him alive. Yeah, but Annie Van Halen could eat up Tony Iommi.

And then we'd start with fuck Eddie Van Halen. How about David Gilmore? And then he'd start squawking in the water. He'd start pedaling back with now, now, now, wait a second now. You know, and I didn't say he was the best guitars. I'm saying that he Van Halen revolutionized the guitar. You fuck that.

And then fucking Randy Rhodes revolutionized it again. And we just argue for hours. Fuck you. You don't know what you're talking about. And then we throw Van Halen too with the poster of David Lee Roth handcuffed. And he'd go in the house pissed off because that always lost. You lost me with that. You know, we've had discussions here when, you know, people don't know what America's like.

Before John Lennon got shot, every white dude had an ace. White privileged people in those days, all had an ace in the hole. You know, like, it was like, you know, oh my God, I just listened to Led Zeppelin. The story remains the same. It's brilliant.

Yeah, go ahead and have a good time with Led Zeppelin. Wait till the Beatles get back together. Like, that was every, that was white. You know, instead of people, you know how today they send their stupid kids to school, and that's white privilege. Right. That was white privilege back then.

Everybody was shutting me and my friends down like, yeah, yeah, yeah, Bruce Briggs. And that would piss you guys off. You'd be like, fuck the Beatles. Fuck the Beatles. And when John Lennon got shot, that's it. Those motherfuckers went away because the Beatles weren't getting back together now. So now those motherfuckers stop coming out

because they were about to take a beat. How the Beatles doing now, bitch? How do they like the Beatles now, bitch? You would bring them like a Pink Floyd album. It's time for you to switch governments. Yeah. I'll never forget there was a mural of the Beatles in the hallway. By the way, about a month ago, North Bergen High School put on a performance of aliens.

Did you see how much fucking my high school got attracted for that? When I was growing up with those people were disgusting. The fucking stage hands, he used to still weed to us. He would get wheat sent to him from Hawaii. His name was Mr. Pullman. And he would get weed. He might still be there. Fuck him.

No, he lives in Florida. He's like a fucking retired journey. He was another guy. I thought he was fucking badass. We used to torture him too. Then we stole his ship one time. That was the end of that. I robbed him for everything

one time. I found that where he would put that weed. He was getting, he was one of those guys that would do this shit. Like when we were in high school and he had this little pack of fucking little fucking nerds that would do that Hawaii thing. And then one day he started talking about

he had the best weed in town. And it really was. It was a Hawaiian week and they put it on a stick with a with a string and they'd mail it. And it was just a little stick like that. He wanted 35 bucks. A lot of money in 1980. But he'd hide it in a bag

in a doctor's bag with all his paperwork and books. How did he find that out? Because I watched him from behind the curtain. You know me, Doug. I'm a boy here. So it was me and another guy that were thinking about robbing him. But the other guy got close to the suitcase and he had those three digit

confirmations. You had to put your number in there. It was one of those old school ones. A combination and I'm like, dog, we're going back old school. We're taking the whole thing. Yeah. We'll figure it out late. We'll blow it up until the paperwork away. And that's exactly what we did.

Wow. You sophomore year, the guy pissed me off. Like, in those days when you pissed me off, I'd just give you some time. I'd sit in the bush and then rob you. When you least expect it, Tony Higginskill goes out of town, I'm stealing those block punk speakers he keeps talking about. You know, those guys, I got new speakers.

Wait till you come over. Wait until I come over. I'm taking them to go. You come up to me. I'm going down the show for the weekend. There we go. We got Blount Punks call you cousin in Queens. We got some new speakers from,

because what are your chances of ever meeting Lee's cousin in Queens? Lees, we already got the speaker sold. I would wait until Tony left down the show. He comes back. My house got right. Where's Coco? I got probably still mad about that briefcase.

He knows, oh, my God. I don't give a fuck. I took the briefcase. I don't even know how we got it out of the building. I don't even know how we got out of the building. Do you remember how you? you opened it? Oh, I slammed it against the wall and I stabbed and opened it up.

The fuck you think I opened it. I was stupid for a while. I thought, you know, like when I was a safe cracker, I wanted to actually, like, we were one of those guys that would sit there and, like, figure out. You can't, you need 20 years of experience and inside man has to teach you. I met an Irish guy, and he's like, what are you stupid?

Just take the safe to go. So I always had a dolly. Oh, he always got a dolly in those days. You steal a dolly because you never know when you might get the car four in the morning. You got a dolly. You're fucking ready to go. Hey, having that dolly's an extra fucking 200.

Yeah, but how do you hide the dolly? Like, how do you deal the dolly? Just put it in your garage. Fuck it. But when you're walking down the street with a dolly? I just saw some guy delivering fucking boxes and then I stole his dolly. What the fuck? Oh, that's...

Oh, Tony Injcliffe. You know this type of people. You grow up with these fucking... Absolutely. In Youngstown, nothing but you couldn't find a dolly. Everybody was... Everybody would just take him. You couldn't find a dolly.

I remember one that I may least steal those milk crate. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I go steal the milk crates. The milk crates, the check from a restaurant. It'd be good to roll joints on. In the 80s, we would steal those things. When people give you a check of the Chinese restaurant, those trays. The tray where everything's on right there, you see behind.

So when in the old days, the Chinese restaurant, when people would give you those, if you went to somebody's house and they had one of those and they had rolling papers and weed on it, you're like, oh my God, how cool are you, you robbed the Chinese restaurant. That is cool. I've never even seen anybody do that before. Yeah, you got to rob the truck. He hasn't rolled one join on it. He rolls it on the table still, but he got me behind.

He made me steal it. He's like, we just put this in your pocket. Sure, just put it in your pocket. Take it to go. You don't know what life is to you rob something. You walk out and you're like, I rob something. This is pretty easy. Why am I delivering newspapers?

A little Chinese takeout. I can just rob this. What am I delivering news? Bob Pullman, Doug. He had like 20 of those days. He had just gotten a delivery. you know he was talking shit he was in the hallway doing this shit and I seen him shoot down to the principal's office dog

and he had a bunch of little uh faggy gardeners around them like little fucking uh and I went in there and I just took the briefcase and I think I went out the back door that was like a stairway down that you could put you out and I walked out there with that little briefcase nobody fucking saw me I think I put a winter jar I don't remember exactly what I did but I opened it up on the side streets and it was like an alleyway

I slammed it against the wall it wouldn't open it had a pocket knife I stabbed it I opened it up I took the weed out and there was a bunch of grades and shit papers and I just threw it the fucking garbage and two days later people were asking me did you hear Mr. Pullman got robbed

somebody stole his weed he couldn't say nothing because he was a school teacher so every time I'd see him I'd give one of these how you doing everything all right cock sucker hang low whatever the high low whatever the fuck does Hawaii say. Oh, God. And he knew it was me.

I tried to. There was a couple teachers, Tony Hinscliffe. You know, I am very, like, I'll get you. Like, I'll get you. Don't worry about none. I'll get you. Just give me time. I'll get you.

Just a couple teachers from my high school that won't friend me on Facebook. But the most notable is Campbell Breath, McGrath. Mr. McGrath and me, bro, we used to go circles. We used to get Coke. I used to get them booze and shit. What grade was this? Right when I was friends with McGrath since sophomore, since freshman year. He used to smoke a camel with no filters, so we used to call him camel brett.

His cigarette was orange. His fingers were fucking orange on the inside. He always smelled like heavy camel cigarettes. And he was the running back coach. And we became friends, you know, over the years. And then he became the driver ed teacher. So what I would do is I would go, Tony Hinchcliffe sign up for 1045 driver at Lee,

sign up for 1045. As soon as you get there, sign all three of us up. So the first one at school signed us up and we would all get in the car with McGrath. And by little by little, we would just work up psychologically. You know what the first month it was us three, and he'd go, oh, you guys are all right. And then what you do is the classes were 42 minutes.

So you got behind the wheel for 12 minutes, three people. And then he had a steering wheel behind us. his thing Cadillac made the car specifically for our high school two cars not specifically for our high school but driver's head but driver's at yeah it's a little by little

we used to make him go on tunnel we told him McGrath you know he would pull into a driveway but he would pull into Chan's dragging in the Chinese restaurant I always talk about and start him McGrath you might we go inside and get a little steak on a stick you guys are gonna get big of fucking trouble

I'm not supposed to we just started with that we got him to stop and get spare ribs we got it and then in time we're like Mr. McGrath you mind if we stop and get a six pack

and he would just look at us it's 10 in the morning guys two beers a piece ain't nobody like I heard of here we'll give you one that's beer and a half each you're in for a beer

then we started buying six packs eight packs and then we just started and then I started like I started leaving blow for him in places like that he was

in those days I had an aunt Zerrida. I told my story about Comedy Central, and I would call her up and say, Zerad, I'm having a hard time, but I could sell some Coke. I'm going to come over,

and she'd give me like two grams of Coke, and I'd give him a gram. I'd leave it on the steering wheel or whatever, and he would, like, make a belief he never got it. So we were friends like that lightly, and then I robbed the high school. Me, Tommy Rousseau, and this dude, Dave Rago, robbed the high school.

I quit high school. Would you steal from it? Jersey, but we weren't, really what we stole was at three, a triple beam scale. from the chemistry department because they're big, they're 40 apiece. It was $69 brand new at East West.

What are you kidding me? I'll bring them to your house. I'll deliver it for 30. I'll take 25 if you got it, but they had 50 scales. Every desk out of scale where kids would measure fucking chemicals and shit. We would take them three, three.

People would take them one at a time with a sports bag. One Sunday night, I go, listen, they got like 50 left. We better get them by the goal and it's hot. We went in there. We took every, every fucking scale we walked home with three scales by the time we sold them the

balancing was off because we had to carry him yeah oh jes people had to put the equilibrium back on them and shit like that and two days later McGrath came to my house you gotta give half the stuff back so we gave back to the football jerseys and the helmets and pants and shit I don't even know we were gonna do it I was gonna say who's gonna buy we used jersees no we were just retarded dog oh my god and then me and him became tight and then the day we was supposed to graduate like a week later we were in summer school and one of all the teacher friends one of my friends was in the jam and we went to his house at seven in the morning we're like

listen we were fucked up we robbed a coke dealer we were doing coke since friday and my buddy couldn't go to summer school so we got him to come on we gave him a rock a coke so somebody had to be responsible for that money so i called camel breath and said hey i gave your partner two grams or whatever he never paid this so McGrath paid me and he goes by the way that shit you gave me that wasn't cocaine let me show you what cocaine is he started taking out coke and he goes you know what I do besides teach I deliver coke at night to people who don't want Spanish people at the house wow nobody wants a fucking Mexican coming to the house and you got to you know what I'm saying so to make it look obvious so he was the

type of guy that put his suit on came over to your house they paid him a little extra and I don't know right up. Two weeks after high school ended one night. He took me to a party. And I told this story. He gave me a pill. And he goes, only half of it. It was a Paris blue.

At the time, a Paris blue was Paris's answer to the Kuilu, the American Kualoot. Okay. So it was like a little thinner tab. Fucking crazy shit. So I don't know. I think I said something about him on the Rogan podcast. No, he won't friend me in shit. Ha ha ha.

him and pollute i owed money and then i owed his partner money he he had a great cavalier a Chevy cavalier yeah so one day i go i want to put a bed in i was putting bets in with him the reason i robbed the jewelry store when i got out of high school was because i put a bet in with him and i couldn't let him down we lost like eight thousand dollars oh monday night with the fucking steelers against the cowboys and eighty fucking one you put eight thousand dollars well between paulays and straight bets i was retarded What did you expect? Me and my buddies. I couldn't let Mr. McGrath down.

It's like me putting a bed in with you. So I had to rob the jewelry store. And I told him, I said, I'm going to rob a jewelry store. If I go to jail, you got to bail me out. But if I get out, I'll give him a nice gold chain. Oh, my God. This is some crazy shit we used to do. Amazing.

Statute of limitations. We robbed the Hess gas station. And what they had were those books that you fucking go over the tunnel with Lincoln Tunnel. That's when it was $4. for the toll now it's 16 Jesus $4 for the toll but if you bought a book you got them for 375 right so I bro we went in that safe and they had thousands of those books I was just giving them away like calling cards but I would sell them to him for coke I give you four for a gram he would sell your coke in a bottle already damn get the gram were coming a little bottle

he had to do is open put it on your fucking finger the good old this wow high school has changed high school has changed a lot, my friends. That's fucked out. Tony Hinchcliff. Glad to have you back on. Yeah, of course. Well, I had John the first time, I didn't really know what was going on. I had just met you.

I had just gone back to the store, but the other day, I was sitting there and my stoned self one night, and you came into my mind. I thought about the audience that I saw when you went to Manchester for Killed Tony. And I was like, fucking Tony Hinscliffe has come a long fucking way, you know. You changed a lot. You've built this up. You've built this podcast up to it's a fucking, it's a TV show in the making, really. I mean, sometimes you stream on Monday nights.

We do the podcast early and I'll watch a couple minutes of it. And it's like a fucking pan. Like, I don't think television can handle that anymore. No, they can't. And that's why are, you know, so many people are falling in love because they don't, you know, You don't have these commercial breaks that break up the energy of everything. And, you know, we read a couple of ads at the beginning. And then we're in for an hour and a half plus.

I mean, it's just, you know, it's the show that I always wanted to exist back when I was starting at the comedy store. I wanted to, you know, everybody wants a not necessarily a shortcut, but just a way to get respect from your peers. You know what I mean? Get up there. And it's only a minute of stand up. And then you just roll with the punches during the interview part, you know. and you find out about real people and you get to meet the people

and the difference between what they do as a stand-up comedian compared to who they really are. You know what I mean? Like you're a veteran. So obviously you're the same during the interview part than you are with the stand-up, but sometimes you'll see the switch in these people

and you'll find out that the character that they thought was funny isn't as funny as they're real selves and they're real things. And I ask them questions and they don't realize it sometimes, but they're kick. picking out better material during the interview part than they are during their stand-up part.

And it's just, you know, it's a super comedy show, man. We're watching comedians do comedy with comedians. And I got the band being hilarious, Jeremiah Watkins. Jeremiah Watkins is a one-man fucking machine. He really is. I got to take my hat off to him. Yeah. That guy cracks me up.

All those young guys. He cracks me up like how Jim Carrey used to crack me up when I was a kid and how, you know, I mean, just something that you love. It's crazy. I always say it's one of my favorite things in all of comedy, and it just so happens to be on my show, is this band with Jeremiah and Joel Berg, you know, the drummer back there throwing out these one-liners,

just out of nowhere, getting the crowd going crazy, and it's just a perfect storm of stand-up and improv and fun. You know what your show reminded me of? I hope you don't get offended. The gung show when I was a kid. No, yeah, I've gotten that comparison. Yeah. Yeah.

Gene Gene, the dancing machine, nothing made me happier as a kid than watching Gene Gene the Dancing Machine. I would cry right now. I would cry like if Gene Gene, when Gene Gene Gene died from diabetes, the black dude, it broke my heart. Gene Gene Gene the Dancing Machine was a fat black dude. All right.

And Beres would be out there posting. And also I don't know where he'd go. You hear, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-dan. And he goes, it's time for Gene-Din the Dancing Machine. and Gene Gene's dancing machine he wearing like 300 pounds black dude right out of the ghetto been cooking pork chops all

his life but he don't give a fuck then letting him loose he's got a minute of fame and him and Don Barrett's and Dan Dan and Dan and Dan and Dan and Dan and and Jin and Gene would be fucking dancing and then they'd have to cut like they would tell whatever

his name was the host Barrett whatever I don't know I'm not saying it right like listen we're going to cut he wouldn't give a fuck He'd just keep playing the music And you see NBC trying to hold down Like we can't We got to throw a sponsor it But this is so good

They would have the whole audience In a fucking If you ever get a chance Look up Gene Gene The Dancing Machine On the gong show You will fucking die Just this

They would go off TV would go off So that's what That's why I was thinking about The other day I'm like It's time After I saw that audience In Manchester

Yeah I go it's time For this to go somewhere This needs a fucking home. Yeah. But they can't touch it. Right. See, that's the problem.

When you get some college kid to come and go, well, right now, it's 17% this 17 to 32-year-old. So you've got to put an oasis on here or whatever the fuck it is. That's when you ruin the show. If they let you just do it, like just listen, come in. We don't care if you light this place on fire every week. That's what we want. Television needs to be lit on fire again. I'm not being disrespectful.

Late night is horrible. Oh, it's unbelievable. It's unbearable. Yeah. At late night television and guys I've tried, and I know you're critical of me for saying, it is horrible. Yeah.

I love the one guy, you know, because I knew him when he were playing the guitar and at the improv, him and his manager with nice people, Jimmy. Fallon? Fallon. Yeah. I can watch it if it's a good guest,

if it's Whitney, you know, something like that. But it's not like, I don't know who. For years, I've been sitting there going, who the fuck watches late night TV? Right. Who would stay up to watch Jimmy Kim? That's a sleeping pill.

I mean, I'd rather take a fucking Xanax. Yeah, it's crazy. And the English guy, all of them. I'd rather take a fucking Xanax. Yeah, it's unreal. You know.

Kimmel had us in the beginning, like, I don't know, 13, 14, 15 years ago. You know, he hit Ohio hard because we're like, what? The Man Show guy got a,

wow, this is cool. This is like a corporate chance. He was like the underdog. And now you see a, he just phones it and sheds those tears you know those you know gets emotional on purpose he's one of those guys that can make himself cry i've told people for years that i would love in in part to go on the road once a month and do this show five days a week what scares me is the consistency you know late night tv is four fucking nights a week four nights a week four nights a week i have to be

to the American audience. That's very tough, guys. Good luck. Good luck. I know you want to do it on your own, but good luck. Four nights a week, you need some writers. You need two of your best friends to take a job and throw material at your ideas.

They've got to be watching the internet. You know, and it's tough to be consistent. So I do give them that. Nobody can be funny four nights a week, 52 fucking we see you. It's impossible. Not every show is going to be great. Oh, they have a writer. These writers rooms are filled with people.

They have, I think Kimmel has like 12, 14, 16 writers in different rooms. They don't even communicate, you know what I mean? They're all separate and they have to send in these files and jokes as the day goes on. Like, it's like... You still got a lot of calls to write? I will not anymore because they all know I'm not doing it, you know? You don't want to do it, no. But back in the day, yeah.

I mean, I was very lucky, you know, I left a little bit of an imprint and got some really great jobs. Now I don't do anything. I just, I write for the Comedy Central Roast once a year. Even that job, literally, they know that I get burnt out and that I'm having too much fun. So they'll just have me come in the last two weeks, clean everything up, get a fresh set of eyes on everything. And if anybody gets added last minute, which always happens, usually the most interesting people, you're Dennis Rodman's and your whatever's, you know what I mean? Martha Stewart, I'll come in and really, you know, open up the playbook and write something in their voice. voice that's fun but that's only because I love to what you were saying earlier about about taking a

break you know here and there like that's sort of my way of taking a break is taking the the roast writing job a couple weeks out of the year usually during the summertime and it lands perfectly show up at 11 and you're out at seven and you go do spots but I get to think in somebody else's mind instead of my own what would be good for my stand-up I'm thinking what would how would Martha Stewart say this and how Can I utilize her voice? It's like I'm still writing jokes. I'm still thinking funny business, but from a different perspective

so that when I come back to Tony Hinchcliff two weeks later, even though I'm going up at night anyway, but when I'm really starting to write again for whatever I want to do, it's like, you know, refreshing because I'm back to me. Do you believe, I mean, listen, I started July 18th and 1991. For the first six months,

I fucked around. Then I won this contest and I became a host at a place once a week. I got to meet Stanhope and a bunch of other people. I got fired after a year and a half. It was time for me to go. You know, that was long enough to have. You got fired from the broker. I pushed one of the managers again.

Books fell down and shit. He didn't really. The original manager that hired me had left and had hired another guy didn't want comedy. He wanted something else on Tuesday nights. But after I left the broker, I went to New York for a while. And in New York, I learned the ins and outs after nine months, and I learned what it took to take me to the open mic level, to be an open mic or in that farm team, you know, the open mic thing.

And after that, I fucking hit it. Like October of 83 to when the longest yard came out, I didn't stop doing spots every night. Like I slowed down a little when I came here, but not really, because I had to watch more TV because I was going on auditions. So I would tape like NYPD Blue and then come home at night and watch it, but I didn't know what television was. You know, but now after 20-something years that, you know,

when you first start comedy, you're a single guy. You could give you a life to it. You know what I'm saying? In your case, you have a wife and she wants to spend time with you and stuff. You could be away three weeks a month right now, Tony. You're at that age, or you have the energy. You know, come home Sunday, you know, go out Wednesday, whatever, add your comedy show. But as time progresses, you pick up a family member.

And now it's a little rougher. You know what I'm saying? You don't want your wife up your ass. You see what happened. I mean, you have two choices in this. And we all love comedy. I love doing comedy. But I love my family.

I loved that today before I came here. My wife made chicken cutlets and mashed potatoes and my daughter prayed. And now they're out of fucking... at a fucking play date, you know, I'm here with you guys, you know, I have a schedule. I can only go out two weeks a month, and that covers my spread

as far as me giving you the best comic I could be. If I go out three weeks in a row, that third week is going to be cacus. I'm not going to be me. I'm one out. The flights, I'm 50 fucking six, you know. You could just do enough cryotherapy and this and acupuncture.

You're still tired. Today I woke up at fucking, seven with the girls and they went somewhere and I fucking took an app till 12. That's rare for me. But I also took two fucking flights. I went to Buffalo last week, came back and then went into the city. So you have to take a break to learn to appreciate other things. There's some comics who will go out for three months straight and then stay in for nine months.

Make a bunch of money for three months straight, work like an animal and then stay home for months. I don't want to do that. No way. I want to be in the game every month. Yeah. I got a schedule. You have a schedule. I mean, you call in for Monday through Sunday. Yeah, unless I'm on the road on the weekend. Yeah, you call in from coast to coast. I used to call it. Missy Shore didn't like with cherry pickers.

I learned early. She didn't like cherry pickers. You know, I'll work Thursday and Friday and Saturday. Right. Yeah. She wants you in there on Tuesday, gagging it up. That's what she looked at. Oh, who called in for Monday this week. Yeah. So I would just call them coast to coast. I'm a big believer in that.

I think that if you give it, if you give them the choice, you'll get, you'll get more. Yeah. Feel like you put in for, you put him for Tuesday and Wednesday, you're more likely to get Friday and Saturday.

You know what I mean? If you're putting in, better to put in for everything. Yeah. She would fuck with you. You called in and asked for his specialty? I'm still convinced she's running everything. Like,

I think that building and the way that it communicates. I'm one of those weird guys that really believes in the power of the comedy store. Like, I think the place is so magical that I think that, whatever, you know, however it works, whoever is, whoever looks appears to be running it, it's still just, I still think she's so powerful that she left that imprint there. Listen, there's places that you go to, as a comedian, performer, whatever the fuck you want to call yourself, that you could feel energy there.

Something happened in that room. Mm-hmm. Something happened in that room. I watched the, the letter skin of documentary, and they go back to that studio and the guy feels the wall. The comedy store, something happened there. People have developed there. People have become stars out of there. There's a weird energy there.

The energy of growth. I have that energy back now because I stopped going to all the other places. I love you, Joe. I love everybody, but I'm not going to all the places. I'm in the Marines. Yeah. And Marines hang out with other fucking Marines. Okay?

The Marines don't go hang out with the fucking Coast Guard at the Laugh Factory. Or they don't go hang out with the fucking, you know, the Cubs, Cub Scouts at the Improv. The Marines hang out with fucking Marines. I'm not putting any other club down. I'm just telling you what I see and how I see it. I look forward to following Ron White. I look forward to following Joe Rogan.

When I'm in a show that's not high level, I tend to change. So I always want to keep the stakes high. 100%. And that's what the comedy store does for me. That's why I'm having better shows on the road. Since I've dedicated myself to the Comedy Store again, my comedy has improved, 150%.

because the confidence is there. You just follow Chris DeLeo, fucko. You died, but you got a lesson. You got your head handed to you. Go home and figure out how not to get your head handed to you by Chris Delea. And it happens. You follow Christa Lear. It's a death trap.

Ali Wong might go off, you know. I'm back to that. I was going to other clubs that were less superior lineups, so I would drop my energy. I would drop my God. I wouldn't take the set seriously. I want my heart to beat. Right.

I want to be sitting there with that blue light goes on and Tony Hinchcliffe is on. He's about to bring me up. I got to lose a breath of fresh air. It's like somebody punched me in the fucking side and I have to recover my breath again. As I'm getting up and you're saying shit about me coming to the stage is my uncle Joey. He opened up for me in the special. My heart's about to blow out of the chest. My dick can't get hard at that point.

Who's the hottest chick in the world right now? Put a pussy in my face. My dick's not supposed to get hard. I'm ready for that stage. Yeah. And that's what I think the comedy store. I was watching that Tyson documentary. You've seen that Tyson documentary on Netflix?

I was rewatching him for the second time yesterday. And he was talking about what he was literally thinking when he was walking to the ring. Supreme Confidence, nobody can touch me. As I get closer to the ring, I'm getting more confident. By the time I'm in the ring, I'm an animal and nothing can stop me. I feel bad for my opponent. I'm looking him directly in his eyes. The second he looks away I know, you know, it's exactly the confidence.

When you hear that fucking Jeff Scott piano or you see the light go on for the guy in front of you and the fucking here we fucking go. Like it's literally, you know, it's fucking the energy, it's almost impossible to contain. We all have our own little ways. We're all playing it cool. You know, we're all playing it cool. But man, it is game time. And the more you want to fucking, you know, all the work that you've done, the bigger. Here's what's great about that place is the greater you are.

the more it pushes you back, right? So it's like all the sets you've ever done, that you're putting that on your shoulders. It might be these people's first time seeing you. You're right. They just saw, bang, bang, boom, bang, boom, right? And then they've heard of this Joey Diaz.

They've heard of this Tony Hinchcliffe. They're at the comedy store, but they've already seen great stuff. At this point, they're thinking they know what the hell is going on. They're thinking it's not going to get better than that. That guy's my favorite. I already decided.

And then, boom, got to come in and shock the world. you got to shock him back up to thinking nope I'm the one you're going to think of first tomorrow when you wake up you think about the night you had last night at the comedy store I'm gonna be first let those guys be second you know you'd go on the road and kill all weekend and go back to the store on Tuesday into the bag of dicks and check yourself like what the fuck just happened always fucking destroyed all weekend people by the people closest to me bust my balls my wife doesn't but my next door neighbor some of my closer buddies they go Tony why do you always put him for Sunday because I've always you know, I'm always, what did you do today? How about you? I flew in from blah blah blah, blah. Every single Sunday pretty much, right? I take off one or two a month weekends. And they go, why do you put in for these Sundays?

You just did, you know, five hour long sets. One on Thursday, two Friday, two Saturday. Why are you doing 15? Because that's where it's built right there. It's built on Sunday nights, 15 minutes. And you know what else I do? Eight minutes on the Monday nights. I put my name in that whole.

bucket thing that they pre-put everybody's names and then at 10 p.m. they start pulling names and they make a new lineup. Unless I'm number 16 or farther back, I'm going up. I'm working the newest eight. I'm taking the chances of the thing that I thought of in the car ride three days later that I said I was going to try that I didn't try during the weekend. I'm trying it there. Those Mondays, those little eight-minute sets are priceless in the Sundays. Same thing. That's where the real work's done. To get it right. I told me that. Dave, we had somebody in here the other day, and she was talking about how I used to host on Sundays.

That was my life. Yeah. I became a, and I used to host in front of her. I used to host the showcases. Wow. I host the fucking showcases. It's a big deal. It's, it's, uh,

just to go up in front of her, for her to give me direction. Yeah. Like, she would, in between sets, she would call me over and whispered things in my ear. Like, I like that job. bring up this idiot and fucking blow off the stage before her. I don't want to pass them.

I don't need another schfazza in here. You know, she would say shit like that to me. You know, like, I don't need another fucking Mexican in here. Jesus Christ, all these Mexicans are coming out. Everybody wants to be Carlos. You know, she would say things to me, but it wasn't that. It was me performing in front of it took that fear away. That's it.

There's no more curtain. This is the words you can bomb because she doubled as your mom and the talent coordinator. You know what I'm saying? She doubled. So she gave you a mom's love, but she also fucking let you have it. That was a horrible job. And then she poked my stomach and go, and let the air out.

That was a horrible joke. So, you know, every time you bomb in the store when she was around, you drove home and you'd want to crash into the pole and found. Like, if you bombed in the main room and you were walking out, you saw her in a chair, you just went right. to your fucking car and you wanted your fucking car to go with. Can you imagine? That was nice.

She would you try. And you didn't know when she was coming in. I was afraid she was going to fire me. She wasn't really watching sets when I got there that much at all. But I was afraid she was going to fire me as a phone guy because because I was the phone guy. And if you missed a call, you know, I'm sticking my head out the second four window. Oh, every single day.

She'd call once every two hours. Hey, Tony is Tommy there? She would always be looking for the talent coordinator to make lineups or whatever, when's he coming over, blah, blah, blah. But, I mean, there were times in which I'd run, say I had to go use the restroom or something. You hear that, and this is old school again. It's like there wasn't portable phones at the comedy store. These guys didn't even have a computer in the room, right?

They had nothing. So it's like you had to hear that phone and you had to run to get it. So if you're smoking a joint, if you went down the back stairs and taken a hit of a joint, you hear the phone, you had to book it. Hopefully you get it by that fifth or six ring if it's her. You know, I was a telemarketer there. Really? When they had telemarketers in 97, I worked for Eds Mitchell, me Seema,

and I was also a runner. I took Freddie Soto's job. So I doubled as the runner. Me, Bob Oshack, would switch the job, and then I would fucking host on Sunday nights. That was my income. And I worked a door while I was hosting. Yeah, same.

25 for the door, and I would host. And then I would do my spot, bring up Eddie Griffin and give it to Don Barris and let him hold the rest of the fucking night. I was, Tommy gave it to me quick. When I became a door guy there almost six, seven, eight months later, he had me hosting on a Monday night back when they used to have it on Sunday and Monday. So I'd host a Monday. So I'd host a Monday. And then all of a sudden I'm hosting a Sunday. So it became a regular thing.

And that's really where the Kill Tony. Contempt came from because those comedians were. doing three minutes. And the thing that I would do that other people wouldn't do was I'd make fun of them after they're set. But the other thing I would do is if they had a joke that I had the answer to, if that makes sense, if I had a note, a good note that's short and sweet, you know, like I would say it into the thing. Instead of saying Kurt Cobain for that joke, say squirt Cobain. You know what I mean? Or whatever. They were talking, you know, just a weird example. But it's like I'd give them an actual note from up there. Just a thought, you know, just say that. Maybe just a thought. You don't have to

take it. Anyway, your next comedian. You know what I mean? So it was sort of like, it became sort of like a roasty show that was sometimes educational. And then I, everybody was telling me to start a podcast, you know, six, seven years ago. And I was thinking in my head, like, well, maybe what about live? Because I like an audience, man, you know, the podcast where it has a little crowd, like Legion of Skanks do that. They do it. And they have like, you know, 10 people that come to the bar and you can sort of get the laughs. Like, it's like, I feed off of that.

The normal regular podcast, sometimes I get a little tight. up because I'm listening and I'm daydreaming, you know, especially a guy like you where I could just sit here and I'm basically just a fan listening. But if there's audience members and it's like, he, hit, he, hit, you know. So I built the thing live around it. But yeah, it started because I was an emcee and Kill Tony's basically just instead of three minutes, it's one minute and I interview the people add a little bit of that Howard Stern old school interview element. I always loved his interviews way back was one of my big things. And so I try to use my gut instincts to ask. ask the questions and figure out what we can get out of these people.

And yeah. And now you announced a world tour? Yeah. A fucking tour a couple weeks ago. Yep. We're going everywhere. I talked to Red Bandy. He was telling me you guys are going a bunch of fucking places.

It's chaos. You know, we just got back from Europe, but now we're doing all the cities that we haven't gotten to do yet that we wanted to do. Vancouver, Seattle. I mean, everywhere. Chicago, New York City, Gramercy Theater in June. I mean everywhere. Madison, Minneapolis, Milwaukee.

Spokane, Seattle, Portland, all these places that have wanted to kill Tony, they're getting it. Where can they get the dates at? Tony Hinchcliff.com or DeathSquod.tv. And yeah, I'm doing a lot of stand-up comedy, too. We're doing LaHoya. I'm doing the store there and, you know, everywhere, tonyhinchcliff.com for tickets for those things. I'm happy you've made it on today. I've been watching you for the last couple of years in your journey, and it's been inspirational.

And talking to you, I didn't know about that you got killed Tony from doing that of the Monday. That's brilliant. That's why I love you. That's why I'm happy. You're in the game. Thank you. And thanks for being one of the greats and inspiring me. You're one of the fucking greats. I watch you and I fucking die. But thank you very much for taking the time. Thank you, Jay. I want to thank you crazy motherfuckers for listening. Follow Tony Hinchcliff on tonyhinchcliff.

On tonyhingcliff.com. All right. And that's fucking it. Lee, what's the story? You all right? I'm great. I don't want to hear nothing. I love you, cock suckers. I want to thank Tony Hinchcliff. I want to thank the Christ Killer. I want to thank all you people for listening. Don't forget this weekend. Not this weekend.

May 9th. April 19th. I'm at the beautiful theater in Minneapolis, which is sold out. Sorry about that. But 420, get ready to bring the reef. I'll be in motherfucker Milwaukee. I got that Jeffrey Dahmer.

Oh, gee, I'm bringing up to that motherfucker. 420. We added an extra show. Go for it. We're going to have a good motherfucking time. But before we go, the church of what's happening now was brought to you by the Teter inversion table.

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But most importantly, you guys, for listen. I love you guys. I'll see you Monday morning early. Tip-top, Magoo, ready to go. Stay black. Lee, kick this motherfucking meal.