The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #675 - Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt

Episode Date: April 15, 2019

Joey Diaz talks with Lee about the need to evolve in life and how he and the podcast have evolved recently. Joey also has an some exciting personal news.  This podcast is brought to you by: CBD Lion - For all of your CBD needs, from shatter to gummies go to CBDLion.com and use code CHURCH for 20% off.  ZipRecruiter - post your job to 200+ job sites with a single click for free at www.ziprecruiter.com/church   Robinhood App - an investing app that lets you buy and sell stocks, ETF's, options and cryptos - all commission free. Go to church.robinhood.com to get a free stock like Apple, Ford or Sprint.    

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Learn and get your life together with robin hood.com. Lee, kick this motherfucking meal. It's a beautiful day to be alive. You understand? Uncle Joey coming at you directly. We got a lot of shit to talk about cock suckers. It's me, you, and the mayor of fucking Oswald. The original, the Christ killer himself,

motherfucking Lee Syatt. It's your honor to you. Kick it. That's how we show up on Monday, slinging dick and giving out fucking fortune cookies. You understand me? Kick it. Right.

And I see the same old faces on my block. And I see the same old faces. Fuck these motherfuckers. And I'm searching for I'm talking some new kicks. It was like you ain't ever seen. Here we go. What's happened, you bad motherfuckers? It's a whole new week with a whole new set of rules

and your control on the fucking ship this week. Don't give up. You understand me? We had a fucked up week last week. I had a lot of shit going on. When I got off that plane from fucking Pittsburgh, I had 22,000 fucking pains, connecting flights, 40-minute fucking rides to the airport. My liver hurt.

I had a fucking temperature. I had to take a stress test, and I'm scared of fucking knee. When you saw me here Monday, all cool and relax with Jennifer, prior, I was shit and fucking pickles. But let me tell you about the week I had. So we'll go along as we fucking get to it. But number one, I had to take the stress test.

And every time I got to get a needle, I shit my fucking pants. I fucking hate needles. But I went anyway because the doctor recommended I go, the daughter, the wife, you know, what's legal to do, poor little fucking kid. I mean, you know, so I got to take care of myself. I'm a bear of ours with some dude. You're all right. Yeah, you got it all in the control.

You have a green shirt on. I'm a t-shirt underneath, like you're in prison or some shit. What the fuck am I dealing with it? Anyway, so I go to this fucking stress test, stress, stress, stress. They send me in, you know, I get the needle in the fucking arm. Guess what? I don't faint because the guy puts me upside down, like I got 20 fucking, like the fucking table. Anyway.

Teeter. Teeter. I love it. He puts me upside down. I don't faint. Then they take a bunch of pictures of my heart with my fucking arms up. You ever to take fucking, you have to ever go for Mirage pictures. You have to sit still.

That's when everything itches in my fucking body. When I got to sit still, I get itches in places. You never even fucking seen before. Crevices up my ass. The sting zone. My armpit, my stink zone. I mean, I fucking had to sit there like a mummy for 20 minutes. And they're taking the back.

Poor little Filipino guy. He just got here like three weeks ago, and they put him to work right away before the dream actress. He's in the back, fucking speaking Mexican. and the next thing, you know, another lady comes in, and they got to do the second phase, which is shoot this fucking ink in your body, then they put you on a treadmill,

then they put you on the fucking back to the thing, but it's only 12 minutes, and you're out of that. And I'll tell you what, the last time I did it, oh my God, when they shot the ink in me, it was like fucking doing heroin without doing heroin. Your heart pumps, you know, you start seeing little fucking spots. I started sweating profusiously.

I got nausea. This time, the dude told me, because just move your legs. It's going to shoot into you for four minutes. Then for a minute it's going to do this. I'll tell you, at the three-minute fucking mark, I could feel it in my throat. Like, my throat was starting to pop up,

but I kept kicking my fat little fucking legs. And then I thought they were going to put me on the treadmill. You know what I'm saying? We got up there for a few minutes, but nothing really happened. I didn't get, like, the last time I couldn't see that had a window, so I didn't get no anxiety. I was in fucking shock.

And then I went back and did the 12th, more minutes and pictures and I was out and it was like a fucking rock falling off my but when I was there a lady goes listen you're breathing weird something's wrong with you I don't know what I'm so now I got more dilemma is now my head's racing now for three nights I haven't slipped because of this fucking needle now I got to deal with

and the doctor couldn't see me that day so I had to go back the next day and what I had was like a fucking light pneumonia like he fucking threw some antibodies and me that were uh it's the shit you take 10 days before you go to the jungle that's what he told me that that that's why how strong it is.

And I can feel it. I tried to work out for two days. It was rough for you here. But you know what? We got to keep pushing. The good news is, listen, for the next three and a half weeks,

I got to go fucking between New York and here and Texas to shoot two different fucking movies. So I'll be back and forth. Now, when you listen to the podcast, these all have been pre-tapped this month. They're going to be pre-tapped to the end of the month. I'm not going to tell you who the fuck is going to be. I tell you who didn't get on last week was Alex Jones.

And I said my deepest apologies, we had done the second podcast that day, and he was running late, and Eddie was running late. So, you know what? I was fucking, I was seeing spots on Wednesday. When I first started the antibiotics, that, you know, the first podcast was long enough. I had to cancel my spots at the store Thursday night. That's how bad I felt. I had green shit coming out of my nose and mouth that I hadn't never seen before. When we finished a podcast on Wednesday, I was driving home and I couldn't breathe.

I had a green fucking snot in my nose that was. that was green like Lee's fucking shirt. It was disgusting. And I couldn't find a fucking napkin. I had a drive. I couldn't even fling it off my fucking finger. It was so disgusting. Usually I eat those things like a savage.

Like it's an hors d'oeuvre at a fucking nice little white party. But this time it was so disgusting, I couldn't even fucking eat it. That's how much shit I had in me. So you know what, man? I'm taking it easy. I start shooting this movie Tuesday, maybe a couple days. And I come back. Then I'm off to Minneapolis this fucking weekend.

That's sold out. Then four motherfucking 20. We're in Milwaukee. There's a couple tickets left for each show. So see what you got left and put it together. But that's not the main thing I want to talk to you guys about. Lately, I've been getting a lot of hits, like what happened to this and what happened to that. Listen, guys, let me tell you what's going on with this.

You know what, man, since I was a kid, I've always liked to evolve. There's always something you could do to better yourself. Always. If you're honest with yourself, there's always something you could do. Like there's always shit to cut back on or you know what man I have been eating it you ever get on the scale and you're 22 pounds heavy And you go I'm not eating that and also you think about what you've been eating lately like fuck all those fucking shakes do that up I'm not fucking 18 no more right gonna have two milkshakes a day from Carvel and dip the I you can't do that shit all your life, you know So every couple months you have to look at what you got and reevaluate and see what's going on let me tell you something the last two years

my house has changed. The last year, basically. The home has changed. Again, it changed when I got the kid in, then it changed again when she went to pre-K. Then once she got the kindergarten, it really fucking changed. Like, you know, every day at 4 o'clock, my day ends.

Whatever the fuck I'm doing, unless I'm getting a fucking envelope, my day ends. Because I got to go pick her up, and then you got martial art classes, you got swimming, you got gymnastics. You know, it never fucking ends when you have a kid. People at home that are listening to know

that it never ends when you have a kid. but it also carried over to the podcast. Like, look, it's it, man, from time to time, I'm up at night late, I can't sleep, I have insomnia, and I'll listen to an old podcast. And yeah, I'll get a laugh out of the podcast, but I'll see a lot of dull spots in that, you know? And I'm like, you know what, man,

I got to clean up our active, you know, we've been doing this podcast for six, seven years, and we're very fortunate. If you've noticed there's people who have switched podcasts 18 times in seven years. I wanted to prove a point when I start this podcast with Lee, that we don't quit. You know what I'm saying?

No matter rain, snow, shine, this is what you do. You give them something when you tell them you're going to give them something. So, listen, if I didn't give a fuck about this podcast, I could just come down here and torture Lee and do edibles and you know what? Eventually, you'll think it's cute

and you'll move the fuck on. Well, guess what? I'd move the fuck on too because nothing's going on. So I don't know. For the last year, I just noticed Lee was having a hard time. night we're here doing bonkits and this poor bastard cough and i seen blood on his fucking hands at that point you got to start thinking about what the fuck are you doing with your life this poor kid gets bronchitis every 90 days he's not used to this shit

listen i'm showing up with weed here you guys think we're fucking with you like i go to certain weed stores because they give me 31% 30% weed they know what i like the owners know i give them fucking love so they save me the best of what they could get even if they don't carry in the store the guy will say give me an ounce for joey and i just put that motherfucker away that's what i do we smoke some strong fucking weeds here and i've seen you know like i'm i'm at home doing 20 these bonkits all fucking day six in the morning five at two o'clock another six at night i do two of them with lee and i see where the poor kid is so i'm fucking killing myself to live right after i shot the netflix special there was a lot of things i had to

cut up but prior to the netflix special I had already slowed down with the edibles because I had something going on my body and I couldn't put my fucking finger on it. Some type of something was just bothering me with humming my head from time to time. So I had to start getting rid of stuff. I got rid of milk. I got rid of fucking eating cheese. I got rid of fucking, you know, I just cut things down that, you know, weigh protein. I cut all the stuff down that I thought was affecting me.

And you know what? The edibles, man, they were a lot of fun. The Lord knows we ate 29,000 million milligrams in four or five years. It didn't stop in here. But if you want to evolve, you know what? If I want to give you a better podcast and I want you guys to have a better experience, yeah, from time to time we have the right guest. We get high, you know what I'm saying?

But if not, let's do the podcast fucking straight. Let's try doing the podcast straight. I couldn't do the fucking, what's the thing I was doing, the free thing? the morning joint the morning joint also again listen I don't know if I told you guys one day I went to pre-k to pick her up and like that day my wife pulled me up and she's like you can't get I ain't go in there no more I guess you went in there no more you smell like a pot forest this kid's passed out after you left the fucking building or something I don't know what the fuck so you know what man when it comes to us fucking around I can fuck around

I got time to fuck around but when it comes to my daughter listen men get don't have a chance mistakes women and fucking kids do we don't have chance to make mistakes so I couldn't go back to that school stone so I can't get I can't smoke 20 bonhits in the morning and drive with a fucking school and let those people see me like that or go to kickboxing at nine o'clock I just couldn't do it no more I could do a bon hit or two don't get me wrong I love my marijuana who ain't nobody fucking quitting here the last three days I haven't even smoked by just because I had this this chest in my cold and I do not want to

travel with this chest in my cold this this cold in my chest this is how the downhill started for Ralphie was with a pneumonia if nobody remembers about three four years ago they put him in the hospital for four weeks in Florida you couldn't even visit the poor bastard because he was in a fucking hospital because his lungs couldn't take it no more Ralphie would go from city to city and he was such a sweetheart of a guy that he would smoke whatever Everybody and when you're when you're going to one city a month and coming back and smoke and that's one thing But when you're going to four fucking cities in a month and you're smoking four different types of viral flus with people

Your events you're gonna get sick and he got sicker and sicker Then he got a fucking cold that would not leave him a cough that it was just horrible That he had for about six months and next thing you know He goes on a fucking cruise ship or something and they got to take him off the cruise ship I feel bad for those guys that had carry him on those skin fucking steps. They had to fucking put metal on those steps.

They had to get them off on one of those beds and shit where they, four guys got a hold each side like the 600 pound life. Yeah, like a stretcher.

He told him he was never so embarrassed in his life. When you can't breathe, it's terrible. It's terrible. And I went through it Sunday night this week. I came home.

I'm not kidding you guys. I don't complain about being fucking sick. My liver fucking hurt. And there's nothing along with Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh, was phenomenal but now I didn't have the best sets of my life I didn't have the sets I

wanted and looking back I was sick I it was crazy how sick I was when I go to a town and I don't work out one time like I was gonna go to Stout in Pittsburgh I couldn't do it I couldn't even fucking move the next day I would eat breakfast and have to go right back to bed I didn't bring Theraflu with me I didn't bring vitamin C with me I thought I had Theraflu but I must have fucking drank them the last time I was sick on the road a couple years ago Listen, man, you know, I'm at different A's than you guys. I can't afford to get sick right now. I can't have a six-month fucking layoff.

I like going out too much. Like, I enjoy going out and doing comedy twice a month. It's my release. Last night I went out for the first time all fucking week. I did 90 over the hill in Laurel Canyon. You stay home every fucking night with your wife and your kid from 5 o'clock in the afternoon on. You'll lose your fucking mind. Now I know why guys fucking snap.

And it's nothing about not loving them or not want to be around them. It's that you have your fucking moments. You have to get out of the house to do what you do. I went to the comedy store. It was like a grenade went off. I went fucking bananas down there because I was like in jail all fucking week. And I went home and it was a release. And now tomorrow I got to get the fuck out of here to start shooting on Tuesday.

This morning I got up with the girls and I went into my office and Mercy came in and she was petting one of the cats. And she next thing you know, she cuddled all. over on my leg and I kept typing on the computer and I looked over to pick her up and she was crying and she doesn't know how long I'm gonna come back for I think I'm coming back east to fucking Sunday or a little before that no I can't because I'll be in Minneapolis but they said that maybe I'd come home on Wednesday so Wednesday I'll come back chill for a few days go to Minneapolis right from here with Dean Del Rizzi and then do 420 up in fucking Milwaukee and then go back to New York on Easter Sunday so it's either or I don't have what my schedule is but like I

I told you guys, you're covered. We shot, we taped podcasts, so they're going to extend all the way through May 4th. Anyway, back to the evolution of fucking life and what you got to do every couple months. So a couple weeks ago, you know, it had to be like seven weeks ago. I just saw Lee kept getting sick.

You know, it was too much drama. Every time we came in here and we smoked, we had to wait for fucking Lee to get it together. Six minutes, his eyes would get pinned on the top of his head sometimes. When he does a bong it, he sucks it, and his eyes go up. I think he's dying half the time. Listen, I like the kid. I don't want no problem.

I don't want to carry him out of here on an ambulance or a stretcher. We've done enough. We don't have to prove ourselves to anybody. We did enough. And yeah, we still get high. I know he was looking for edibles, D.R.N., listen, you're going to have to get your license back and go to the store. And I'll send you right to urban trees, and I'll tell you what edible to get. Okay, no.

They got some fucking gummy bears that are 10 milligrams apiece. You know, yesterday I went to Shinsu, you shin-yun with the daughter, and I popped 20 milligrams. And I got to tell you, I was fucking stone. Oh, yeah? You don't get high for seven, eight hours no more on 20 milligrams. It's like a two, three-hour high.

But at least I know they're getting me high. Jesus Christ, we were eating 2,000 milligrams a night, a thousand milligrams a night. A thousand milligrams a night, the fucking star. It took me six months to shit out all the fucking jello powder and shit that those things had in your system. I want those things clogged to your fucking system. Now you wonder why he brand fucking muffins and drinking poochie every day

and eat yogurt as much as I can with bananas and fucking a little bit of granola because you got to balance out your stomach. You got to put those fucking those things back in your fucking stomach. If now you can't shit, you're all backed up for fucking weeks. So you got to take care of yourself. And I just figured that Jesus Christ, you know, we've done the podcast all this time. Why not give it a breathing? And you're going to see the quality of the podcast.

It's not a longer podcast no more because we're not forgetting our topics. We're rambling today. It's a fucking shorter, more concise. Get to the point. Let's wrap it the fuck up. I know you people want to listen to other podcast type. I just want you to maintain Uncle Joe in your life

and don't get rid of me. Listen, we got our ups and we got our downs just like anything else in life. The podcast business is like anything else. That's why I tell people the hardest thing you could do is like late night TV. You got to be funny five nights a week. Guess what?

That's not going to happen every night. You're not going to have a great show five nights a week. But as long as you go in there, give it your all, and you show up and you know that you're in there, and you try to give the people something fucking different, they'll fucking work with you. Let me tell you something. Not only am I upset about, I'm not upset about this movie and the other movie in Texas. I'm not upset at all. I'm upset that I have to leave my family for four weeks, five weeks.

I'm shooting both of these movies starting Tuesday the 16th and I'll be shooting until the 17th of fucking May going back and forth between Texas, New York and for the fucking Los Angeles. Yeah, I'll get to see them, but you know what? I'm used to seeing them five fucking days a week. But again, you know what, man?

Even at 56, you got to learn how to get out of your company zone time to time. I got places to go work out when I'm in Texas. I got places to go work out when I'm in Texas. I got places to go work out when I'm I'm in New York. I got friends in New York. I got friends in Texas.

So both places, and I'm not doing any comedy. I'm just focusing on the movies. That's why I had to reschedule San Antonio in Dallas, which got rescheduled now the 8th and the 9th of September. I don't know what city, but I'm going to put them on my website before I fucking start traveling. We reschedule the dates are in. And then November 7th, I'm at the Motor City Casino in Detroit.

So everything is great for you guys. I got to tell you my little concert thing. So I busted you guys balls about the Mick Jagger documentary. Okay, good and final. But when I saw it, I figured out that, yes, I want to get back into the concert scene. Or just get out to be entertained. Yesterday, when I went with my daughter and my wife to Shin Yun, I forgot what it was to be entertained. And the only way you could entertain is by getting entertained.

And you guys know, nothing flouts my fucking boat. I don't give a fuck about half these shows on TV. But you know what floats my boat since day one? Something live. I've always enjoyed live music or people jumping up and down or some people playing congas in a park. I've always been mesmerized by that. Like, not when you're doing the conga line

with a bunch of filthy fucking hippies and some guy. No, no, no, I don't like that shit. I'm talking about music when I'm in Central Park. I like live performances. I even like live dance. Like, I don't mind watching live dance. expressive of art. You can make your body do shit. I don't even dream of doing it. I went to shit in you and yesterday. Those women, those Chinese women shuffle their feet fast and anybody

I've ever seen in my life. Those little fucking Chinese feet could move, Jack. They were going from north to wet, south to north. They were flying into the fucking screen. Those Japanese, I don't know what they are, Chinese, it doesn't matter. There were some white people on the fucking cast. It was a great fucking show. Listen, what I have got on my own, not in a million fucking years. And never do I want to sit in a Saturday afternoon in a fucking theater with a bunch of people. No. I got to tell you something. It was

fucking cool as shit. And I know my daughter enjoyed. Did we stay after the intermission? Fuck no. My daughter couldn't take another hour that fucking jumping up and down. She thought there was going to be some kung fu. People get some knife throwing, some new chucks and shit. After like the first time, my

daughter looked at me, she's like, it's time to go. When they gave us intermission, because she kept swobling around her seats, I'm like, maybe she got to pee. I got to be. I'm personally, you got to pee? She goes, no. I was just about to ask her,

you got to go to, you want to take a walk? You feel like they're going to walk and the white dude came out. This is the last dance. And after that, we're going to have a 15 minute intermission. So we sat,

we watched the last fucking dance. And I told my wife and daughter, God, if you got to go to the bathroom, go out of pee, but I wanted them to get to go and get back. And then when they got back, they gave my ticket. And I went to the bathroom.

And I went to the bathroom. I was walking out of the bathroom. I watched my hands. my phone's ringing, it's my wife. She goes, hey, Mercy don't want to stay. I went back, I go, Mercy, why don't you want to stay? She goes, I'm done. I'm good.

I saw all I need to see. It's definitely your daughter. Definitely my daughter. I looked at her. I go, my wife said, I'm not even mad. I go, nope. And we got our little fucking Uber. We put the car seat in, and we zoomed right back to the fucking house.

But you know what? One thing about the last, I've known about this movie and all this stuff for the last three or four weeks. I spent this much time. as I could with them. You know, even when I don't have movies or anything planned, I try to spend as much time as I can with those girls. It's sickening.

Like, I don't have a fucking social life. I don't see you anymore other than the podcast really in comedy. I'm not fucking doing comedy and I'm not podcasting. I'm not working out. I'm pretty much at the girls. I'm pretty much with one of them or both of them or doing something. It's just really insane. saying how much my life has changed, man.

I've been with my wife, we're going to go on our 20th anniversary. Wow. This year, right? Yeah, 20th anniversary, I think. Next year, this is 19 years or something? Married or just together? Together. That's awesome.

And I got to tell you, it's, you think that when your marriage, things will go in the opposite directions. No, I got to tell you something. It's gotten better, you know? And who knows what makes a marriage work? The first time I couldn't make it work if I was in Sin City, I was a fucking loser and a half. I think because I had the divorce and I saw what things externally and internally I lost from it. If I got married, I was prepared for the long haul.

It's like we talk about with comedy. Like in 90, I got on stage in 91, but in 93 I realized what I had to do to make the fucking haul. This is what needs to be done. You need to do this. I know you don't like this, but you better get ready for it, because you're going to have to do it. And I prepared myself for all these things I didn't want to do that. Now I had to do because I knew it was part of the path to get to the goal I wanted to reach.

I never wanted to get to this goal right now. This goal was never even thought of. It was just a goal of survival, being able to travel from week to week to different places, keep a stay off the radar. But, you know what, hard work brings a result, and that's why we're here, That's why we're in this room doing this fucking podcast. So you never know until you fucking get down the path. But it's so weird.

In the 80s, I saw the Scorpions. And then I think me and Perry Vidge and a bunch of other guys saw a small Shankler tour. 83 or 82 or 81. I don't remember what anymore. And I've been waiting to go see fucking Michael Shankler. And I think in January, Dean Delray and Danny from the comedy store, the sound guy in the main room. of a guy who I've known how long I've been at the comedy store said to me that

Michael Schenckle was coming with uh Michael Schenckin was one of the original guitarists of the Scorpions and there's him and his brother and then he went off he's a fucking wild man into his own stuff the MSG group and all this stuff and they told me that fucking April 15th 16th and 17th he was doing three nights at one of the clubs in town either whiskey or gogo or the troubadour I think it's a whiskey I was blown the fuck away. Finally, I was going to go see a fucking live band on either Tuesday. I think we picked Tuesday night because we wouldn't have a podcast.

We could just go down there and then when the band is finished, we'd go down on the comedy store for Tuesday. That was the plan. And all of a sudden I get this fucking movies and I can't do now. Now, listen, I'll tell you what. Was I depressed? Yeah, I'm fucking depressed. I was looking forward to it.

I was hoping something to call me and say that they switched my shooting day to the 18th. or the 17th Wednesday, definitely, I go see Michael Shankler tomorrow and I, but things didn't work out, and sometimes you got a sacrifice just to fucking, what am I going to, one of my tent? I'm going to not do something because I got to go see. I got to be there Tuesday, ready to go.

I figured I'd get in there tomorrow at 2 in the afternoon, I got to go to wardrobe. I'll get a nice light fucking dinner and then go to the room, maybe smoke a number, and just go to bed and fucking get up and work. That's it, man. It's cool. It's been a few years since you did a movie. You know, man, when I got here, they were shooting more movies with me.

There were, you know, different types of movies. I don't get those calls anymore. And I can't lie to you. I do. I still get calls for a ton of fucking shit. The problem is, again, with the podcast and the family, and if it's a gamble, if I'm doing something for money, but I really don't like the sides or something like that, guess what?

I'd rather not do it. I've always known that when it comes to acting, like when I first got here, yeah, I went on a lot of auditions and I made my mistakes. But then once I started booking, I got the hang of it. And then after a while, something else happens. You start getting cocky.

You start cherry picking. But I cherry-picked with backing, like with science. Like before I would cherry-pick a role, I would think of it from all directions. Like, what is this role? going to do for me. For years, like the other day, somebody put up a short film where I play the science,

a cooking teacher, uh, Louis the teacher, something like that. These are all the movies I was doing after the writer's strike. They were $100 a day movies. You got to bring your own fucking clothes. You got to shoot an odd fucking hours

because they don't have enough money to shoot at the place. And at the end of the day, they just fucking practice on acting. Because nine of the time, 10 don't go anywhere. I'll tell you this with all my heart. Yeah, there was a movie years ago that made somebody. The chick from the Kleeneystwood movie when she was a boxer.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. She did a $100 a day movie. Really? And it blew up. Some movie. Million dollar baby. Yeah.

The girl from a million dollar baby, right before a million dollar baby, did a hundred dollar a day movie. And the fucking thing blew up. So people were like pushing for a hundred dollar day movies. Listen, I pay the fucking, I pay sag, man. I pay SAG a lot of money even though I don't do dick Like I don't do dick compared to what I used to do So the SAG you gotta pay them like twice a year and then at the end of the year they add up what you made and you gotta give them a percentage of that

So the only reason why I'm still I mean listen I'm very proud that I'm gonna get a fucking pension and I've been acting for 20 fucking years now in this town But with the same token the values went down on what they're paying you I mean by 50% There's actors leaving this town every day on the daily. And I'm not trying to sign negative. I'm just being honest with you.

There are actors leaving this town every day because the roles are just not there no more. And you figure with Netflix and 600 channels on TV and all these Hulus and everything, I don't even know anybody who goes into that. And you guys know from Michael Rappaport to the 20 other actors that I speak to, We're not great friends, but I speak to from time to time and say hello and check in with. Not too many of them are setting the world on fire. They're not setting the world on fire like they used. And again, you go in age groups here.

It's like 18 to 22 and then 22 to 27, then 27 to 32, then 27 to 32, then 36 to 40 to 40, then 45, then they put you in a different category. So the older you are, the more the percentage, the less the percentage of you going out is. You know, so I was cherry picking for a long time. If you're going to send me an audition and I know what the audition fucking entails, right in my head I do the math. You're not going to shoot in Hollywood. It's this. You know what?

I make more money by not doing the job. Because at the end of the week, I got to pay two commissions and taxes. and then you look at what's left over and you go, for that, I've got to drive to Marina Del Rey three days and traffic and whatnot. It's not worth the aggravation. You opened up the podcast saying that you have to evolve, and you've spoken about it.

When you first moved here, you started acting as a way to work and to get in and to involve your comedy. I did. And you don't need it. I did 20 fucking movies that you'll never see. You'll never see. You know, I did, I used to do college films. That's how I called experience by doing college films.

I never stopped. I just kept doing college films. Every time I had a chance, I'd do more and more college films. And eventually I popped out of that. I did that for about a year and a half. And then I got into the commercial business for a while. And that was great. That's a lucrative business.

And then I got into the real, real, real theatrical of it. And I booked basketball, and I booked the one when I moved to, I already had a pilot. And then it was slow for two years. I really focused on my comedy. It made me 91, 2001, 2002. Once I went with Mad TV, I was off and running, and that lasted to 2007.

And then the strike came, and right away I got comedy, and when the strike happened, I was on Greg Garcia's show. My name is Earl. And he would have kept giving me episodes. I mean, he just at that point, he would just call me a time.

230 for a 430 shoot to get there to the valley at 430. So I had friends just giving me roles, but it just went down the pipe. And it just went down the tubes. And the interesting thing was that when I signed with Justin, the guy who books me comedically, they didn't have a theatrical department. And my agent wasn't doing a good job. And I would still get these little offers for YouTube series that didn't pay dick. You know, didn't pay Dick.

I looked at the director there wasn't nobody no worthy to work with you know like is he going to lift my career up is he going to bring something different to the table and I started saying the word no

which throughout the month you'll hear a couple actors that came on in comics and they're going to you know tell you that sometimes it's okay to say no if you don't feel like

this is going to get you to where you want to be it's okay to fucking say no and from time to time I started saying no. But the last three or four years, I keep getting these things that are legit offers. They're just undoable. Either undoable because the script sucks or undoable

because I can't get there. It's two planes to get there. And it's a one day shoot, but it's three days of my time and I have to cancel two podcasts. And then right from there, I got to go to a road gig. And you know what?

Like I said, I'm getting older. I can't handle that shit no more. So I've been cherry picking. But I told. I told my agent about six months ago. He kept saying, and look at you, you getting these offers,

and they're just not, whatever. Do you feel bad? And I go, no, I'm a guy at the plate. Sometimes you've got to wait for a fucking fastball. They're going to throw curveballs at you. They're going to throw knuckle balls at you. They're going to throw screw balls at you. But if you're patient,

and, you know, they're going to throw you a fucking fastball. And, you know, I got a lot of offers for voiceovers, which I've been doing. a lot more lately i've done like three or four voiceovers this year i started out the year by doing the the theo vaughan pilot and the danny brown pilot for uh vice and i did another pilot for another dear friend of mine so you know what i had a good little fucking year going and next thing you know i got this offer on this movie which i signed the confidentiality agreement so i can't really speak about them until they let me sign off on it and this movie's going to be done

It's going to be fucking tremendous. I got a nice little role in it. It comes out next year on a theatrical release. I'm going to try to get the book to come out around that time. I'm going to try to get another CD out around that time, you know, just to highlight the movie from a professional way. Like in the old days, when you hit, you hit with three or four things. It's not just a fucking overhead right. You got it with an overhead right, two body shots and you come back to the top with a left fucking jab or something. Three pieces of soda. What's that? The three piece of soda. three piece in the soda. That motherfucker is going to be on the... I'm leaving town, and he's coming in. Fucking George Mazdava. He'll be here Tuesday, I think, doing Rogan's podcast. So that's the way it works all.

So I had Danny Brown in town the last two days. We could have him on the podcast. So if it isn't one thing, it's the other. It's been one of those weeks. And again, my apologies to Alex Jones. I couldn't tell him on the phone. I had the flu. And I thought, I'm the type of guy when I'm sick, man.

I don't want people around me. If I care about you, I don't really want you around me. I'll tell you why, because you're going to get it. You're going to get it. If I got this flu, let me tell how strong this flu is. You ready for this? I got a kid in kindergarten. Every time you walk in the kindergarten, it smells like death in there.

It smells like fucking death in kindergarten. You could tell the flu is floating around the fucking air. Every time I walk, every time my daughter comes home and I hug her, I love it at a death. But she smells fucking horrible. The crease in her head with her fucking with a part in her head with her higher little parts, smells horrible. It's my daughter not really.

It's all the kids. She comes in contact with all fucking that. And they all have something. So my immune system has been built the fuck up for the last couple of years because of having a child. I already had the flus I was going to get from her already. Now it's just that's how bad this flu. Foot is flu to take me out for two weeks how it did Because the first week, it really wasn't a flu

I just didn't feel like me. I had a headache every fucking day. You got that thing in your throat where you think you're gonna get sick in two days But it really doesn't deliver You're spitting mild colors But nothing really serious You know what I'm saying?

Like every three spits It's like a little fucking yellow Maybe a little piece of blood How often are you spitting? You know, you gotta spit When you drink a lot of water When you work out, you're fucking spit But last week when I was in Pittsburgh

when I didn't even feel like working out, I already had the body aches. Once those body inks hit you, that's when it's fucking real. And the temperature broke, I think Wednesday night. I went to bed and I took my shirt off like a savage and the fan was blowing on me. I said, fuck it. I put the fucking covers over my head and I could right up right there. I can fear when I walk up the next morning, it was just a puddle of fucking drench under me. So the temperature broke after two antibiotics and Thursday I still had a cancel store.

I still had green snots and stuff Friday. I got a little better. Yes, I got a little better. And today with the grace of God, I'm ready for Monday to motherfucking 15th. Yeah, I still got half the bottle of antibiotics to eat. But who gives the fuck? Another plane ride tomorrow I'm definitely putting one of those Japanese masks on the plane. Really?

Yeah, I want them bought 20 of them. I can't deal no more. Listen, these planes are filthy, especially. now after 737 and went down now they're putting more people more fucking planes and uh you're gonna do a barrel

oh I'm doing the whole thing like when I was over at the University of Colorado when I was faking the funk oh yeah I was just talking Spanish if you listen to the Tom Segura podcast this week you're missing out on fucking life you understand me listen I made a constant decision when I came back from the Netflix shooting that I'm not fucking around no longer

I only go to the comedy store just so I'm on a alert at all fucking times you understand me I'm on high alert at all times Lee will tell you oh Lee will tell you that I'm on high alert at all time seven in the morning I'm gonna call I'm striving for the fucking funny now oh and it's the truth and that's just how as bad as it is I don't know what I got left on this planet and I don't know how much I got left on this fucking stage but from now on every time I go on that stage I'm giving you everything I fucking got the same thing with podcast. I love you people who contact me. Hey, can you be on my podcast?

Let me. Number one, I don't know you. I'm not walking into a fucking a nest of debt. I don't know what the fuck you got. Number two, I don't do that many podcasts. And there's a reason for that. One, I just don't have the time. And two, there's no reason to do 80 fucking podcasts a month. Because I'd rather go on a podcast and kill it than go on three podcasts and be mediocre. That's my philosophy. Listen, we do eight podcasts here alone. Out of eight podcasts, two of them are sensational. Four of them are passable.

And two of them, you want to shoot yourself after 25 fucking minutes. And I understand that. That's the law of diminishing returns. But since we stop smoking Rifa, they're going to get better every month. I'm going to do better interviews. You know, hopefully Leo,

keep the fucking camera where it's supposed to be looking out of me directly with a little box. I want your people to feel me constantly on a constant level. And I also want you to feel the guests on a constant level. That's why I don't like the wide shots no more between three people. It's either me, him, or the camera's on Lee, because he's fucking talking. These are all these things, improve a podcast.

This is what we've been working on the last couple months. Like I said, they're not all going to be Academy Award winners. Let me see a director, you know, James Cameron went from Hero to fucking Zero. He's throwing fucking dust at you. But James Cameron also did that fucking movie and DeVar, whatever. What is it? Avatar. Avatar and DeVar.

I don't even know. It was close for you. It was pretty close. Avatar. He also had $80 million to work with. We don't have $80 million to work with. We were on limited fucking budget here. We got what the fuck we got.

We're not part of a network. We're not part of no communism fucking show here. This is just us giving your love every fucking couple days and throwing some fucking heat just to let you know. What the fuck we're thinking here on a beautiful Monday, April motherfucking 15th. Tip top of Mugul. You got your house.

You got your family. So what? You ate a couple fucking down pills last week. Who gives a fuck? It's a whole new fucking week. You know what I'm saying? Just don't eat fucking pills. Just smoke a little rea.

Relax. Get your life together. That's what these whole new fucking week. That's why I love Mondays. That's why when I travel this and you couldn't fucking pay me to stay in your fucking town on a Sunday. I don't give a fuck if you show up with a thousand fucking chicks or suck dick, then you kill them afterwards.

So they don't tell nobody. You never want witnesses. I don't, I don't not. I like to come home. eat the Lord's Day dinner with my family, and then Monday, by the time Monday morning comes, I'm fucking rested, and I'm ready to take the fucking week down like ISIS.

You understand me? I'm ready just... What the fuck are you laughing about there? Ali Saddick there. The ISIS, yeah. No fucking ISIS. I'm just telling you motherfuckers the truth, how I feel,

and what we're going to get going for you from now fucking on. You understand me? Don't forget, you got your fucking... You got your motherfucking 420 show in Milwaukee, Wisconsin at the Pabstina. Me and my man, Dean Del Rizzi. He was in Detroit last week and kill him at Mark Ridley's Comedy Castle in fucking Royal Oak, Michigan.

A little suburb outside Detroit, I used to visit years ago. They didn't like me in Royal Oak. They looked at me 20 years ago like I had problems. That's finally when he went there, one and done, Jack. I was like, whatever that coach is. What do you do with those people? He won and done. Oh, Calipower?

Yeah, I was won and fucking done when I went to Detroit. But listen, I gave it a shot. That was a long time ago. I'm a different comic today. And that's all that matters, man. But listen, things could be a lot worse, you know. We're doing our job on the podcast. We've got these fucking little movies.

Lee is doing stand-up. You know, he's trying his best to get it together. And we're healthy. And that's all you can fucking pray for in one week, man. I mean, we come on here, what? You know, a couple times a week and you let us into your fucking liver room. Some of you let us into your fucking hearts.

I get the messages, I read them, and I'm very appreciative. You guys, if you listen to Cigora, I want a little fucking off on there. But again, if you know me, you know, I don't fucking mean them those things. I just talk like that, just to fucking, because it's a truth. When those fucking...

It's the truth. I don't mean it, but it's the truth. It's the truth. I don't mean it. from the heart and it's the fucking truth you know those kids those those parents putting their kids through college and paying off all that fucking money who does it hurt it hurts fucking minority kids you know what i mean i didn't say it like that but i had to paint a true picture for you so you see what the fuck is going on here so there's no misunderstanding you understand i feel you

but no i really appreciate you guys sticking out with us like i said the next uh three two weeks They're going to all, and I got great guests. We got great guests, great surprises. I'm not going to give you no fucking names. We got a great lineup for you. So just keep listening, hang in there with us. And that's that, motherfuckers. You know what I'm saying?

At least we're moving ahead. Whether it's oaky-spooky or my bad Bob Lalingis, we're moving ahead. We got rid of the dead weight, and it's onward and fucking onward. You understand? We got a great fucking year coming. I'm going to rest, the rest of the month. Once I come back from these movies, I'm going to be tired. So I'm going to chill at home for two.

weeks and then we got a great fucking schedule all summer we start with motherfucking new orleans and at the tabernacle fucking theater right in June and then we're taking it to motherfucking Columbus your boy what's his name steve Simone oh shit from the family what's his name of the podcast the good times the good time the family one hour podcast on PG rated it's like watching the dick van dyke episode he's coming with me because he's restarting the podcast up we're doing it this I think he said he's going to start it up on Tuesday. There was a very interesting night last night at the comedy store, man.

I saw Simone, I saw Rick Ramos, and I saw Jason. What's his last? Lucas. Lucas. And those guys were the three stooges just 20 years ago. Yeah. They were all three doorman looking for that fucking way, you know? Jason Lucas is a fucking editor now, and God knows what Rick Ramos does.

He's just fucking watching movies and talking shit about him. I love him to death. He was talking about him. movies last night. It was interesting as fuck. We got to get them back on when I come back. And Steve Simone, it is so weird. I was talking to Jason Lucas and I told the story on one of the podcasts we taped last week, but you guys will be listening to how long

I've known Jason fucking Lucas. I met Jacob Lason Lucas when I was a feature act at the Comedy Cabana and Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. He was the opening act. And he kept talking to me about the comedy store and whether things true. And I told him yes. And he fucking, he said he would be coming up. Would I help him out if he came up?

I go, you know, I'm just getting peed on myself over at the comedy store. But I'll do whatever I can to help you. You know, whatever I could do, I'll fucking help you. At that time, I had no pull. I didn't know anybody. But I still don't have any pull. I don't know what the fuck's running that joint. I keep out of that shit.

It makes my longevity that longer. And one night, I started coming up to the store, and you know what? He started paying at first. He would pay every night and come to the store and sit in the back and watch and keep his mouth shut. And then they started letting him for free. And I'd see him back there from time to time at night

when I'd follow Mooney, and he'd give me some notes and shit. And I'd look at him like, This kid's crazy. He comes here, three, four nights a week to watch. I go, why don't you just get a fucking doorman job here? And that's exactly what he did. He got a door guide job up there, and he was up there every night watching, watching, watching.

And when he got his shot, he fucking became a regular. And you know what? You know, with all the changings of the governments up there, within that fucking mutage with the fucked up heck and when he got caught stealing. You know, Jason Lucas got caught. like nobody really knew who he was, but he kept going up, then he kept fighting for what he believes.

And you know what? The talent coordinator Adam believed in him and started giving him late night spots, late night spots, late night spots, late night spots, late night spots. And last night, he went up before me. He said, then he got an early spot. And guys, it's, listen, I'm not here blowing smoke up your assing. That story applies to anything that you're doing,

whether it's carpentry, an artist, You just hang in there. You know what? He was lost in the fucking wind there for an hour, and he's still hung in there. And he still goes down there. Now instead of getting spots at one in the morning, 1230, which he's got three kids and he's got to go to work. He's got a regular fucking day job as another.

He hangs out back there. Does he complain? Does he say anything? No, he goes down there. He does his spot at 1230. Did he ask anybody to get him spots? Did he ask anybody to get him early spots? He didn't say,

dick he just kept going down there at one o'clock and last night he got like a nine o'clock fucking spot eight forty five guess what when i get back here i'm gonna have him on the podcast just so he could tell you the story i respect that in the fucking man i respect when somebody just hangs in there just keep your mind shut keep your fucking mind shut put your head down and know that no good deed goes undone like no just keep keep fucking doing what you're doing shut your mouth nobody asks you your opinion. That's for starters. Nobody asked you for your opinion. The more, I was watching the NCAA finals and when I was watching both teams last week, they did not put the ball down on the floor. That's as disciplined as can be when you're talking about basketball. When you turn basketball

into just a passing game and do not waste the dribble. The same thing applies to life. The more you fucking dribble, you're going to get yourself into trouble. When you're up there, when you're going for your specific thing, then I'm going to give it to you. Nobody's just going to give it to you. You're going to have to take it, and along the way, you're going to get things said to you, your feelings are going to get hurt, all this shit. As long as you know you're getting something out of this, maybe not today. Maybe not today, but in a few weeks that come, it could be a year, it could be two years.

Don't give up. Just keep putting your fucking head down and go down there. I was so happy on the drive home last night. Not because of my spot, not because of how I did, because of Jason, Lucas because the formula works. I don't give a fuck what they told you, what they didn't tell you. The formula always works. And it has for 2,000 fucking years.

I didn't write it and it will for 200,000 more years after I'm fucking dead buried on another planet. So stick to it. I see that it's always works. I also last week put a schedule out that Josh Goof went to Tacoma, Washington two weekends ago. and he bumped into the old club manager at the Seattle Underground, the Comedy Underground, where I developed really as a feature act. I was there for two or three years.

It's so weird that, again, before Mitzy, I had Carl Wormonhoeven. Carl Womber. Was in charge of the open mics on Monday and Tuesday, and he would make the list. And if you look at the list I put up, I was like number four, maybe number five, That was my first open mic up there. The guy believed that he got to, because I had Rick Curranes call him,

a comic dear friend of mine at Denver, and he blew smoke up his ass, and he put me up for the open mic, and he put me on number five. But the time I left two years later, I always was closing those shows out. Like, I was the headliner on all those shows, and he guided me through that. I was very fortunate to have that timepiece with him because he guided me through that. I would go up there every Monday and Tuesday, and one thing I did was I gave him the respect he deserved.

He took care of me, so I had to take care of him. I did the main thing that all those people want to see. I wrote. I made a little bit of progress every week from. Every Monday and Tuesday I went in there, and I know to save two minutes for Monday and two minutes for Tuesday that went new, and I remember switching him around.

I used to say a joke back then that he used to get a big kick out of, and he gave me a bunch of tags for. That's what he was well-known for, a car, warming over. When you got off the stage, he'd give you tags. Even at that level, I would never use them, but I'd write them around. And those tags expanded your mind.

He made you think a different way. And I'm after a year one night on a Monday night or Tuesday. He made me follow Rick Dockerman from the Burbs. What's the other movie he did with fucking Tom Hanks? What's the Animal? What a Roundhog Day? With Bill Murray, he did that. Rick Ducombe was a brilliant comic from Toronto, Canada.

God rest of the soul, fucking great guy. And one night, he wanted to test my balls, Carl Wormon Homan. He didn't say nothing to me. He didn't say nothing. I got down there and I'm like, what's going on? Am I going up tonight? He's like, yeah, you're following Rick. And I'm like, who the fuck is Rick?

No, I didn't even know who Rick was. He goes, you're behind the next guy. And because he didn't show me the guy's belt, the second jiu-jitsu, when you're going to go wrestle with a guy, He's got a brown belt. You got a blue belt right away. Your fucking skunk goes up. Your tail goes up and you get a little weaker or whatever.

That is to make you tougher. You know, if somebody doesn't have a belt on and you don't know what is ranking, how are you going to go into it? Do you ever think about that? So it's the same thing in life. If you don't know who this guy is going up before you, it won't make you nervous.

So he didn't tell me who it was. The guy destroyed the fucking room. Was I paranoid? No, because I thought he was an open mic. I went up there, and this is 1997, this is 22 years ago, I went up there and I didn't level the room, but I did fantastic. And when I got off the stage, I remember all my comedy guys, like Josh and Tana Manoo and Brody Stevens and fucking Charred Hogan. They all came up to me, and they gave me a big hug.

And they're like, you did great considering who the fuck you just followed. And I'm like, who the fuck did I just follow him? You just followed fucking Rick Doeckerman. He's got an HBO special, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and that in turn made me friends of Rick. Once I started looking at him closely, I realized there was a guy from Groundhog Day and the guy from HBO. And I formed the immediate bond with the guy. He gave me his number, and he told me if I was ever coming to L.A. to keep in touch with him. And he pretty much, the first year I was here, he was one of my guys, before Rogan, before Jimmy Schubert, before Paul Mooney.

He was my guy. He taught me how to call in for spots at the store. He gave me a recommendation at the store with Carlos Mnci and Doug Stanhope. I mean, I loved Rick. You know, it's a shame that he passed away years ago. He told me stories that they wouldn't give him spots at the improv. So he would wait for the show to be over. And he'd bring his own little spotlight.

And he would buy everybody a drink at the bar and make him come in to watch him just so he could build an audience. This is before they had the lab. This is before they had anything. That was the mind of Rick Newcomit. He also taught me something really. His wife told me a story one time. He had just done David Letterman, and they drove from like New York

because the Letterman set finished at seven. They drove from New York all the way to wherever the fuck they lived in Ohio, not where they lived where her mother was from. And they got there in the middle of the night, and Rick slept all day, ate dinner with them, and after dinner he was sitting there

talking to his father-in-law, but he was putting his sneakers on. And his wife said to him, where are you going? And she goes, on the drive here, I saw there's a pizza place down the block and they're doing an open mic tonight. The guy just did Letterman, HBO specials. She goes, he's on a pizza place, and I know they're doing an open mic over there. I'm going to go over there and try some new jokes. And she said to him, but you just did Letteman last night. And he goes, that's my point.

I got to start the fucking next day. So all those little experiences for me and those little ideals that were put in my head were put now by Carl Wohmanhoven. So maybe if he comes down to L.A., I'll get him on the show. He's still alive and kicking. Josh says he looks better than ever. And you guys saw the names on there from Brody to the high friend Bula to Josh Wolfe. Those are the fucking days when I used to sleep in my car. I lived with a stripper.

You know, we were just doing spot. We were just fucking kids. and here we are 24 fucking years later so the struggle never ends and that's what Monday's all about to remind you that the struggle never ends and you always got another fucking week to go all right

I always want to thank you guys for supporting this for the last six years it's always a fucking pleasure half of you's we become friends on the outside of this so that's always fucking great though and I hope that you get something from these podcasts yeah I say some raunchy shit

from time to time and we taught you and we do drugs, but the heart of the podcast, the whole reason of what would be is see you guys get something out of it. And thank you very much. I will be checking in with you guys. I will not have Facebook on the road. I do not ever bring Facebook on the road

so do not Facebook me. If you need to get a hold of me, tweet me only. Just tweet at me. Tweet at me or leave me a fucking Twitter message and I'll get back to you back as fast as I can. Like I said, I'll be on and off with these fucking films till May 17th. I'm not doing any comedy shows after 419th.

There's tickets still available for 420 in Milwaukee for the early show and a couple for the late show. It's going to be a great show. You know, bring some ref. Let's do some edibles. Let's eat some Xanax. Let's eat some fucking viking. Whatever you got, bring it.

Just make sure you bring some compoja juice because I don't want your stomach to get sick next day. And next day you're fucking crying to me, cock suckers. Anyway, a little word from my motherfucking sponsors. As I told you earlier, even when I had the flu and whatnot, with the body aches, I kept taking my CBD. And I tell you, it helped. You understand me? And I know you look at me like, Joey, I live in a state where they sell CBDs at stores.

I get calls all the fucking time. I got emails all the time. Listen, it's a fucking nightmare finding a CBD that works for you. It really is. Thank God, I introduced you guys to CBD line. When I read their fucking pamphlet and what? what they do and the testing. I mean, they broke it down to what pet, what kind of color, a strawberry cough, stuff like that, the smoke of their CBD blends to fix your ailment.

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no oh yeah all right or use the tincture like me you just put a couple drops under your tongue swish it around let it go through your glands and boom drink a little bit of water and I tell you what the next day you're fucking brand new you got a step in you got some pep in your step and after a while you're going to feel a lot better

you're going to go fucking joy I didn't know they come a thousand milligrams the tension or 5,000 milligrams. I mean, listen, CBD Lion does that grade of a job. Their products are clean, Bobby. And they aren't like the fakes that with the false advertising

that you see all over the place. Remember years ago, what's that black Chinese juice? Jinseng. Remember they would sell that fucking 7-Eleven next to the wings. If you buy that jing sing that they put next to the wings at 7-Eleven, you should go to fucking hell and your asshole should leave for fucking

life. No more of that fake shit. And that's what they're going to do with CBD. Thank God, Uncle Joey got your CBD Lion. So do me a favor. Go to CBD Lion right now. And before you all to do anything, check out the third-party lab results yourself. Read what they have to offer and pick what suits you at CBD Lion.com.

All right? The church family gets 20% off at checkout when you use the code. Church like a motherfucker, 20%. So go to CBD Lion and check out. change your life right now. The church is also brought to you by Robin Hood. Robin Hood is an investment act that lets you buy and sell stocks, ETFs, options, and cryptos, all commission free. While other brokerage firms charge up to $10 for every trade, Robin Hood doesn't charge any commission feeds, so you can trade stocks and keep all the profits yourself. Plus, there's no

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Again, the next three weeks, I'll be on and off, but you got your podcast coming to your baby. All right, I just want to let you know what was going on today and remind you it's Monday. Whatever dream you had,

whatever thing you had going on, this is the motherfucking week you turn it around. Who gives a fuck about January 1st? Any asshole can make a fucking And if he doesn't follow up, it goes back down the pizza. Oh, you got another chance to start right now with your tax little refund. Not! Trump took away all your money.

But who gives a fuck? Uncle Joey's here to give you love and to give you motivation for another week to go out there and grease your nutsack and stick it up somebody's cullo. You understand me? Don't forget Saturday night, 420, there's tickets left at the Papps. Minneapolis is sold out. And that's it and that's that. I love you, motherfuckers. Thank you for support me on whether I'm on Sagar on this one, on Rogan, wherever the fuck I am.

You're always there. Listen to the past podcast from Mike Tyson to Ralphie Mae to my man Brody Stevens. We got them all on the fucking book for you. Mrs. Pryor? Mrs. Pryor. And that's it and that's that. I'll see you guys Thursday. I love you, motherfucker, it's to death.

And one big of applause for the mayor of fucking Archwood's my brother. The Christ Kill of the original, Mr. Lee Syatt. I love you motherfuckers. Have a great week. Write your goals. Eat your vitamins. Come in your wife's eye and get back at me. Press to this motherfucker and have a great week. Kick this motherfucker, Mulee. I want to be around to pick up the pieces when somebody breaks your heart. Some somebody twice as smart I'm a somebody who will swear to be true as you used to do with me who leave you to learn that misery loves company wait and see I want to be around

See how he does it When he breaks your heart Two bits Let's see If a puzzle fits So fine When I'll discover That revenge is sweet

As I From a front row seat When somebody breaks your heart Like you