The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #702 - Rachel Wolfson

Episode Date: July 18, 2019

Rachel Wolfson, a stand up comedian, writer who has written for Vice and High Times, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: Express VPN - Get 3 months free when you buy a one year package. Go to www.expressvpn.com/church to learn more and protect your privacy.  CBD Lion - For all of your CBD needs, from shatter to gummies go to CBDLion.com and use code CHURCH for 20% off.   

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Thursday. The motherfucking 18th of July. Like your fucking ball sack on fire. We're going deep today, bitch. Little Jeff left in 1980. We got Rachel Wilson. We got the Christ killer. And your uncle Joe is here, bitches.

Wasted. Oh shit. Wasted. Wasted. What are you fucking nuts? Grab that bong head and set the herb man free. Rachel Wilson, what's happened? beautiful. Thanks for having me. Great to have you, man. How are you guys? Good. How are you? I'm high.

I know you're making strides. You're making little moves here and there. I've been watching you. Thank you, Uncle Joey. The last 18 months and you open up on a row for Felipe. You're always hustling. Uncle Lee. I don't see no fucking bikini shots. You know, out there are few. You're out there selling your ass. You're out there working on your merit. And I really dig the hell out of you. So thank you for coming on the show. Highest of compliments. Thank you. It's an honor to be here. You know, dog, I watch everything. People are like, well, when can I come on the podcast?

There's always a time and a place. Yeah. Let me watch for a little while. Let me see what the fuck you're doing. And, you know, I follow you on Twitter. I see your tweets. I see your little morning thing. You're popping up.

I read about your family. And that really interested me and talking to you about your family because I would die for them to adopt me. They would love to have you. I would die to live with a job. judge a DA and then your sister's like a top notch attorney she's a prosecutor she's a fucking prosecutor yeah so breakfast at that motherfucking house yes must be like laws no they're interrogations to fucking this it's on a breakfast fucking ought to beat the mill the fucking the backhand slap motion

from 1988 listen that shit makes my dick up there's evidence there's objections there's literally You know, my mom was just like a real estate attorney, but even just having a kid of an attorney can be rough. Like they're like I can't imagine having it from two sides and one being a judge. Yeah, my mom definitely has like she's the cock and balls like for sure. There's a lot of like, you know, intensity and, you know, strong people in my family. So. Where'd she go to law school? She went to law school in San Diego.

And you're dead? He went to law school here in Los Angeles. No shit. And they met here? They met in the courthouse in Las Vegas. Holy shit. Yeah. My mom was a TV news reporter and my dad was a prosecutor and he would pass her in the hallway.

And he always tells us that he would see her on TV and say that he's going to marry that woman someday. Wow. And then she went off to law school and I think they kind of like were dating other people. And then when she came back, I guess they met at a bar or something and like he couldn't keep his hands off her, that dog. Well, like, Gordon, Vegas must be completely different than anywhere. Like, Vegas is like a completely different place. Vegas is an insane, like, asylum. I mean, I don't even know how I grew up there.

Like, I went back last weekend. And as you get older, you know, your hometown means different things to you and you can kind of put into perspective your childhood. and it's such a crazy place to grow up if you think about it. Now, as you were growing up, were your parents pushing for you to go into the law field? I think that was kind of something that was maybe like an underlying expectation. People would always, whenever I would see them out or their cohort, they would be like, oh, are you going to go to law school? Do you want to be a lawyer when you grow up?

And I was like, absolutely not. So you knew it already. I just knew I wasn't, that wasn't for me at all. You got accepted into American University. I went to college. I went to three colleges. What was the first one? It was a small school in Vermont called Landmark College, and it's for people who have learning disorders.

Okay. Yeah. And then? I have ADHD, so I learn differently, which is the nice way of saying retarded, but I can say that. I have documentation, so, but yeah, yeah, I went to a school that, like, taught me how to learn because I just learned differently. I was always a creative person, visual.

And I just never, I went to a bunch of different middle schools and high schools. I went to a lockdown when I was 17 where I graduated from in Utah. So I, my schooling was never, it was, it was all over the place. But you're very book smart. I am emotionally smart. I definitely have a book. If I, if I'm interested in something, I will become obsessed with it. But there's, you couldn't pay me enough money to ever study math ever again, ever.

I could give a fuck. You did what you did and then you moved the fuck on. Yeah, like we taught me math, like the math that I needed to know, you know. And how was American University? It was cool for like, you know, it was cool to be in our nation's capital. I got to see Obama get inaugurated. Like I was a part of, you know, a huge historical moment in time. But I was, I just felt like the dumbest person in all of my classes.

I could care less about politics. I wasn't inspired by it. I thought it was kind of like Hollywood for ugly people. But I mean, no, there's whatever. But I just, it wasn't the right place for me. And I even had the opportunity to intern for Congress. I could have, you know, gone off and done something big with that. But I just was never, it wasn't meant for me.

So you ended up in Lynn College. What part of Florida? Boker at Town. Okay. All the Jews. All of them. And that's where you got your degree. I got my master's degree from Lynn.

And, yeah, I stayed down there and I worked in the hospitality industry. I always worked since I was 15 in hospitality. And I worked in marketing out of college. And you got a degree in market? Yeah. A master's. Yeah. In marketing.

No shit. Yeah. And then when did you start smoking refo? As soon as I pretty much left my parents' house when I went to college, 19th. when I went to Vermont. Yeah. That's words. I mean, you have to smoke with you Vermont.

That's the place. Like, everyone is on something there. And then when did you first decide to get on stage? Almost three years ago. Yeah. When I'm 29. Yeah. What made you want to get?

Because you said you... I had tried to get on stage many years before that. I did improv as a kid. So performing was never... I was never shy. I was always the first one in college who wanted to like get up and do my presentations. And I just liked being in front of people. But when I was living in Florida, I started going to improv shows.

My first stand-up show was seeing Mike Epps at the Palm Beach Improv. And I would see, I saw John Lovitz, Bob Sagitt. Like I had just fell in love with stand-up years ago. And then it wasn't until I was just in these like horrible relationships. I was working these corporate jobs out here that I just was terrible at. And I just knew that I really, one, felt purposeless. I felt like I was just kind of aimlessly roaming through life. I, like, you know, it really spoke to my depression and just, I was searching for that

something. And it wasn't until I was getting out of a relationship. I was 29. I was living with this guy that was so toxic. And my life just wasn't what I wanted it to look like. And for something, for some reason, just like stand up was like, it was screaming inside me. It was like, do stand up. And I had seen a friend, my friend Sam Grody, she was a sorority sister with me in D.C.

She does stand up. And I went to see her at the John Lovitz Club, the one that got shut down. At Universal. Yeah, at Universal. And I saw her perform and I was like, I could definitely do that. And so, yeah, I ended up finally. Finally, after a breakup, I just started writing. I went to mics.

I, yeah, I started getting on stage. Are you, I don't know how to ask you this. Are you lucky at love? Am I lucky in love? Like at love? You're lucky at love? Do you? I have always...

Do you attract fucking knuckleheads? I've attracted a variety of men in my life. Some of them were men, some of them questionable. I've always been in relationships since I was 15 years old. I've always loved having boyfriends. I've dated people since I was 15. So I've had a bunch of boyfriends, I guess. I've had experience in dating guys who were all different kinds of healthy and unhealthy for me.

Now, when you broke up with that one dude, you got into stand-up, like, I did the same thing. Like it was all part of a metamorphosis process. It was all part of a, I'm going to stop doing what the fuck I'm doing and get into this. Like I got on stage in like June and in October, she told me she wanted to get separated. Oh, wow. So I walked, like for four months, I walked around like, I don't want to be with this person no more. And everything sucked. Yeah.

Like everything just sucked. Once I got on stage and here I am 28, I'm out of prison, and I'm with this woman, and God bless her, she drove me to my first open mic. She forced me, like, she forced the hand, you know. But it's really tough to explain to people. Sometimes at your, like, I got into stand up at the lowest point in my life. And then I got into it at a lower point in my life.

And then I got all in at the lowest point in my life. Like, the lower I got, the more I got into it. Yeah. Is that how you found some time? My first year's stand-up, I suffered, like, suicidal depression. Like, I wasn't like, I didn't have a plan. I wouldn't actually do it, but it was in and out of my life. My first year's stand-up.

I got out of that relationship that I was in at 29, started stand-up. I was working for levity at the time. And I was doing social media marketing for them. That's really like my path into comedy was like I used to work at corporate. And I ended up leaving that job because they wanted to bring someone in house. They got Rita from the improv, let me be a bartender in the lab. And they don't give those jobs to like just anyone, let alone women. And like, I'm not a career bartender.

Like I'm in the back looking up, you know, basic recipes for a Manhattan. You know what I mean? Like she really believed in me. And so I was going through this breakup. She gave me an opportunity at the improv. And I was also starting my open mics and writing and getting into stand-up. And it just became like my, I was like, this is what I'm in love with. This is what I've been missing my whole life.

This is what, this is my purpose. It gave me meaning to my life in a whole new way. Oddly enough, I ended up getting into another relationship this past year. I just got out of a relationship. But he works in comedy and I just like, I just fell in love with comedy. Like that was like my, that was my main love and then everything else was secondary. And like he kind of saw that process of like my first year was rough for me. I was going through kind of just like everything in my life.

Like, okay, now I'm in a place where I can put meaning and like finding the funny and my pain and my trauma. And also just like, you know, I think it's a crutch for me is some of these relationships. Like I've always just maybe been afraid to be fully independent, like, which I know I can be, but like who wants to be alone at night? You know what I mean? Like, and I don't, I'm not a random, casual sex person.

And it just doesn't fulfill me. So I think that the more that I fell in love with stand-up, the like less, like my relationship began to deteriorate. It was so weird to me how you think about the first five or six years of a stand-up. You know you're in love with something when you give up your apartment. Yeah. Like you know you're in love with something. Like you have to force your.

you have to force yourself to not be home. Yeah. Like I can't be home, but night. Like, I don't even know what that is. No, like, if there were nights that I would choose to like spend in my first years, I, I would have this guilty feeling. Like, I'm cheating on my, like, my love. You know what I mean? And I, like, that's when I was like, okay, this is, this is something that means so much to me.

And it just, like, I knew that I needed to, like, focus on that. And like after being in all of these relationships that just didn't work out. Like thank God none of them wanted to marry me. You know, and they took it that far. Like thank God it didn't work out because it was a point, it was, I'm at a point where I was like, okay, this is, this is what I've been missing in my life. And this is what I need to feed. You know what I mean? Kids?

Do I like kids? Yeah. Do you like kids? Do you ever see yourself having children? Um, maybe one day like when I'm older in my 40s, women are having kids in their 40s. women are having kids in their 40s. Yeah, my wife had it at 44. I'd be a great pregnant 40-year-old.

But right now, comedy is what you're at. This is what I'm going to do, no matter what. Like, it's just amazing. You know, when you look up insanity and like a dictionary is doing something over and over again with the same results, you know? And I always think about that when I've dealt with comedy, all those years that people look at you like, you thought. I'm insane. You're living in your car, you're delivering pizza.

Yeah. But I was getting on stage three nights a week. And then afterward, I would talk comedy until three in the morning. At a Denny's on, we would go to a supermarket and buy co-cuts and just sit outside and talk comedy and questions and bookers. And, you know, it was just endless with me. Yeah. Like by 94, I went home at night to read comedy biographies. like that type of shit

somebody sent me a picture today that blew my fucking mind one of the guys that helped me out in the beginning his name was George George McElvey George McElvey had been on a tonight show like 13 times he started with

you know Johnny Carson like the 60s and shit and George Mcelvey like when everybody hated me George McElvey dug the fuck out of it like no oh, he's too dirty, you know, we don't know, he's just starting out. It was just really weird that George McKelby would call me and go, what are he doing this weekend?

Come open for me. That's so cool. I can only get your 50 bucks or 25 bucks. And he was just really good to me. And then there's a big time manager now in town. I know her, and she knows, you know what I mean, we know each other. But I know her from way back in the day when she's, you know, she's a big time. when she was robbing people.

Oh, wow. Like when she would tell people you can't do the open mic at this club until you take my stand-up course. Oh, wow. So you would have to pay, like, you know, three bills for eight weeks

of her course before you got to be picked. They only picked four people a weekend. For the open mic? For an open mic. How long are they doing? 15 minutes. Okay. So this is how retarded it was.

Yeah. If you did her club, last for eight weeks and you could do 15 minutes. So they're doing a documentary on the Denver comedy scene and they want me to do it. And when they contacted me the first time, I spoke highly about George McKelby and today they sent me this picture. Oh, wow.

In 1969, who's George McElvey standing with? In his book, he credited George McElvey. That's fucking Steve Martin. Oh, wow. In 1969. He's so young. He's a baby. Look at him.

So George. No gray hair. No white hair. No nothing. He looks the same. That's pretty fucking crazy. Which one is McCelvey? He's the one on the right.

Wow. That's crazy. Young Steve can get it. So fucking, I never forget. George McElvey called me one Sunday night. Like, I was probably feeling sorry about myself about to do a pound of blow. And he called me at six and he goes, where are you? And I go, I'm home.

Because I had a page of those days. Yeah. And I would have to run to the gas station to call people back. This is a fucking nightmare. Oh, my God. I can only imagine trying to get booked back then with beepers and pagers. Beepers? You actually have to keep a calendar.

Like, who walks around? How do you remember your dates? I'll never forget a booker telling me, don't leave me a message anymore. You have to send me an email on Monday. And I told me, I go, fuck this stuff. Like, I'm not emailing you. I'll call you. Then there was another.

comedy scene where they would put gigs up there was a like a guy who booked rooms oh wow and he had like eight rooms in Nebraska and on Monday he would put his availability what clubs were open that week okay and you have like 10 seconds to oh it was like that back yeah he would yeah he would yeah you're like you know how many fucking comics yeah area you had 10 seconds you had 10 seconds. It's like when you have a Southwest plane ticket. Yeah, and you're trying to check in because you want to get A1. A1. Yeah, but you wait 10 seconds. You're like 860 and you're like, what the fuck? What the fuck? How? Who is the who, who, who's wife? Who's wives? Everybody's in home like this. Refresh, refresh. With the second, right to the second. I am that girl. I am that

girl. Right to the second. So it's shit like that, you know, I mean, it's just so many different. What about fax machines? Do you ever have to faxings? You had to fax in your availability? Jesus. I remember when I was first here and I was trying to make the transition from, okay, so I got into the comedy store,

I'm working the improv. Jamie doesn't let me work the club, but I do Latino night, which is just as good. There was 300 people there. And I fucking just was stuck. I didn't know what to do. I had like maybe three clubs that hired me.

Then El Paso hired me as a feature act. Tribal. I think there was somebody else that hired me. So I went, I got a bunch of numbers from people. Like at the comedy store, I would ask people where you're from, and they would go D.C. And I go, who do I call in D.C.? And they gave me the number.

D.C. was John X. Boston was this other guy that booked club, 56. and every Monday fucking 9 a.m. Even if I snorted Coke till 7.45. You were out here. At 6 a.m. I would start. So they would have the fax

at 9 a.m. And I would fax what you would do is put like, you know, fucking Wolfie and then put the whole month of January and then, you know, you would put a calendar and then give them your dates and what was open.

But for you to fucking and get booked, you had a lie about a date on that. Oh, yeah. Like, I can't do it this week. Yeah, I'm too busy. Exactly. You don't want to see. No, no, you have to see that you're working on the club.

Right. If you send them an empty calendar, you get who got. So you had to make sure he didn't know who that club was or call and say, Wilson's working that week in June. What do you think of her? You know what I'm saying? It's like your mom catching you at not at your, girlfriend's house you were out somewhere else yeah so you had a fall and make-up so I took a job selling

nuts and screws oh wow on Ivar between Hollywood Boulevard I live right down there and what's the one on top of Hollywood not so Franklin Franklin yeah so what the pizza places is Franklin and Ivar yeah Franklin and Ivar right across street there's a pizza place okay uh well-known pizza place Joe's pizza I don't know how it does now it used to be good when the guy not Joe's pizza right No, it's, but I'm, yeah, Joe's pizza is maybe a block away, right, right. Two blocks away from head at west. Okay.

So there was a place in there that you, I had to be there at four. In the morning? Oh. Because you have to sell contractors. Okay. On the East Coast. Nuts and screws? Nuts and screws when they get to fucking work.

So I would just snort Coke till three. Hells yeah. The store would close it to. I would keep my car on. the back of the store and just popped the seat back. And lay back, I would do a couple lines of coke bang one out. And then fucking head over to Ivar and sell screws. Catch a 7 o'clock thing.

But at about six, I'd start fucking fax on motherfuckers. I didn't have a fact. Where are you out finding fax machines? I was a homeless fucking guy. He's doing it from work. He's saying, I got a job just to have a fax. So I would make money from 7th, from 4. A.m. to six. You guys think I'm here.

I'm just here to use your fax machine. That was basically it. I went to the make money. I was making like eight bills a week selling nuts and screws. Yeah. That's smart though. And I would leave a fucking like they would say after you make a $100 minimum, you'd go home. Yeah. I would make fucking $200 by 6 and start faxing at 6 a.m. I would fax every club owner. I'd have a notebook with fucking dates written across it for checks.

and what the result was you have to. You're a businessman. You're a CEO. So you know, you don't want to call the guy going to go, hey, Rachel, hi, Joe Dears. I want to know if I could work your club. And she's like, you just called me last Monday. What did I tell you? So you have to keep records.

Right. So I had a notebook just even then, just for who I contacted, what bullshit story I told them. In those days, they would say send a tape. No tape. Wow. No tape. You're not getting shit for me. It's just different.

Completely different. Now. Most people wouldn't even, because I bet you half of us wouldn't even be around if it was like that. No. No one would even, they can't even tie their shoes, some of these people. No. It was a different game.

They don't even shower before they hit the mic. You know what I mean? It was a day job. You think some of these people are going to keep an organizational notebook? You had a real four-hour day job every day. On top of your writing, you had to stay on time. And then you sent those and don't think you got work. Like I didn't say nothing about getting work, did I?

No. That was endless. That was endless. That was endless. And then once in a while a number will come up on your page. And it would be like Yoder's booker. Mark Connell was his name. And he would go, hey, Mark, whatever, Joe Diaz, yeah.

So you're in Michigan. You know, like I would put like Joe's Comedy Club. And he would go, you're going to be in Michigan that week, yeah. All right, give me the name of three headliners that you've worked with. And let me call around and I'll see if I could put you in this. For references. And then you wouldn't get it. Damn.

And then you wouldn't get it because that's it was. They wouldn't vouch for you? Like, no, you know, now he has to get a hold of him. Right. You know what I'm saying? And he forgot. So now you'd have to call him and say, hey, what about that week in Detroit? And he'd go, okay, you know, I need you.

Thursday, Friday, it's one night. He would put you on a string of one-nighters. I still remember going from, like, fucking Niles, like Ishma mean, like the bottom of Michigan, all the way to the fucking top. Like, no, Niles is on the bottom, and Ishbamian is on top.

Traverse City, like, you would stop. It would be like five hours a day of driving. You know, like five hours here, then five hours there, then you went here. So it was like a fucking adventure. Damn. But that's how it was.

Like, it took... And then, I would bother Rachel for a year. Rachel, Joe Diaz, nothing. I'll call you when I have something. Send me a tape. Who do you work with? Give me the name of three references. And write about when you're about to give up.

Felipe walks up to you and goes, Hey, hey, fool. What are you doing next week? Do you want to go to the Jacksonville improv? And you're like, I've been bugging them. for a fucking year. Like, I've been bugging them for a year. They keep telling me no,

and now you make one phone call, and I'm featuring, I got my own hotel room. I don't have to sleep on the floor, no, you don't have to sleep on the floor. I don't have to sleep on the car. I don't have to sleep on the house. You're, like, blown the fuck away.

That's the angle. Like, there used to be a catcher rising star in Vegas. You're too young for that one. What is that one? That was in the Excalibur. You're too young for that one. Wait, but I was, I was...

You were a young girl. Yeah, I was alive. No, you were alive. Yeah. That's a club? The hotel was the Excalibur. Yeah. And it had like a sword theme.

Yeah. It's still alive. I mean, it's still there. Yeah, the Excalibur is still there. It's still there. The Excalibur. Upstairs was Catch a Rising Star. Okay.

For a fucking year and a half. It's a club? A comedy club. It used to be a chain. Damn, they should still have it. It used to be a chain. Okay. It was in this.

See if the one in Jersey still open. Wow. It was Jersey, like in fucking... Of course, it was New Jersey in Vegas. Princeton? No, Princeton, Vegas, and Reno. What the Laugh Factory Reno? Oh, okay.

That's why I was like, I've heard of this brand before. Catcher Rising Star was in Reno, and that was... Wow. It was a fuck... That was a great thing. How was that room at the X-Calibur? The Catch-A-Rising Star Room? It was one of the before you were saying that you worked.

a week with Dom Herrera. Now, I was in love with comedy at this point. I had been doing comedy. I say roughly 10 years. I had opened up for Rogan, Mancia, I'd open up for Paul Rodriguez, I'd open up for people. And I got a week.

With all the bullshit, I tortured Catch a Rising Star for a fucking year and a half. And I called that motherfucker every Monday in 901. You know my shit. Oh, yeah. My shit is the real deal. On Sunday nights, I would get home and send headshots of casting people.

Every Monday was my headshot day, so they would get them on Wednesday. And I would send tickets to the comedy store, free passes to the comedy store, and the improv. That's cool. And I remember going in for an audition for Sheila Jaffe one time. And I ate a bag of dicks. Like I ate a bag of d. Like I went in there all gung-ho. Like a robe on.

It was like a boxing coach and shit. And I just ate a bag of dicks. And she goes, thank you for coming in. And the assistant goes, and Sheila Jeffrey listening. She goes, oh, yeah, hold on. I have something for you. She gave me back a stack of headshots.

I mean, 30 headshots with resumes, tons of free passes from the comedy store. She gave it to you back? Yeah, she's like, I don't need this. What a bitch. No, no. She ended up booking me. Perfect, we love her.

Great years later. I was like, no. It's just that was the job. Yeah. That's how much the job entailed. Yeah. Now all you got to do is. Now all you got to do is.

Is she so alive? Yeah. Now all you have to do is click a button on your computer. Oh, wow. But every Monday. Yeah, it's so different. I would wake up in mail shit. Tuesday was drop off shit.

So every day I had a different job. Right. Now it's just you can just email 50 people in one. Remember before 9-11, you could walk into the studio. Oh, it was like that? I could walk into... Before 9-11? They took studio access to...

Before 9-11, I'd go to Fox to the gate and go, I want to drop off a package for Rachel Wolffson. Wow. And they go, just park over there and make it quick. Do they make you take off your shoes? No, no. This is, this was like it was very open Fox. So I could go to Fox and I want to drop off package

for Christian Kaplan. They would go park there, run upstairs, don't take more than three minutes. Oh, wow. You could run up, drop the package off, see the assistant. The assistant will look at you because they're looking for a person like you. Right. You just don't have an agent or your agent's a schmuck.

I would drop off my own shit on Tuesday. So Tuesday was drop off day. That agent you want to sign with? That he won't sign you. Every Tuesday he got a new package at his door. It was- They couldn't get rid of you. No, it was $29 for 100 headshots. I'm coming all day long.

I'm coming all day long I would buy $300 at one shot every 10 days That's amazing And then when I got the agent I'd show up every other week With 20 more head shots For resumes

Hey don't forget me I don't forget me I love that relentlessness That's that's what this all is about Yeah This is that love that you have Yeah That's what

You're not going anywhere You don't read this in a book No You don't read this in a book No book's gonna teach you this This is, you know, there was a kid here, Corey Miller, got two half-million dollar deals, real good-looking black dude. Very funny. He went back to Atlanta to raise his kids because his show didn't get picked up.

But he had this thing Mondays he would write poetry. He wasn't a poet. He wasn't a poet, but that was part of his exercise. Tuesday he would write comedy. Wednesday, he would write a script about underwater fishing. Thursday he would write fucking comedy and Friday he would write music

wasn't a musician but he said he wanted to explore all the different things to make his mind go to all these different places that's the level of shit that you know when I hooked up with your boy Felipe

you know I would meet we just have our own acting class yeah me Felipe Silent Bob Sebastian Satina we would give ourselves our own homework assignment We said, fuck paying $300 and we critique each other. Ask them.

That's smart. Ask them. I will. Ask them. And then we go from there and go to a weed store and fucking stock up on edibles. The guy was a baker at a Beverly Hills place and he quit his job baking to open up a weed store and he would bake edibles. So not like regular like edibles. There were edibles that you would get 100 pounds.

Right. Like, you know, victory fudge with three layer almonds. And you need pop one of them. But next time, when are you going to see them again? When are you opening for him? August. Asked Rodrigo. You ever see a person get knocked out and have to get carried to a car?

That's what happened? And his legs got to drag on the floor. No way. Bro, they had Rodrigo. One guy on the time. And they were walking them into a car. One morning, lacking class, we started popping edibles and shit. Oh, my God.

That's when they were rice, crispy treats. Oh, man. And coconut, chiffon. cake. This guy would make a coconut three fucking layer cake with coconut in the middle, with T-8C and that shit. And he didn't know. You'd go to his house and he'd just be squeezing like this green shit. The coconut cake was green for starters. You thought it was St. Patty's Day. Oh my God. It was always St. Patrick's Day. His chocolate was green. You know what I'm saying? Everything he had was fucking green. That is amazing. And he can, and Rodrigo smokes heavy weed. So I can only imagine.

We're talking We're talking 2000 This is back in the day We were on guinea pigs With the edibles This is when Felipe had

Wednesday night At El Coyotes Oh wow I love that place Have you been there? Of course They still do comedy there Uh-uh

I've been to eat there Oh you've been there to eat Yeah I love that place No Not El Coyer Oh you're thinking I'm talking about

Fucking in the hood Oh no I'm not I'm talking about a different place I'm like El Coyote on Sunsen. I'm talking about in a place where they changed the name four times in one year. Oh, my God. Because it was a drug bar? Really?

Shit. Wait, was it a club? It was just a bar? And Felipe dated the twins, fool. Oh, shit. I want to fuck the sister. Tell her I don't know which one it was. Stop.

That's amazing. Oh, my God. Yeah, they had it. They changed the name four times a year? Every four times a year. Did the twins ever find out about each other? The twins work there together. Hot.

Both of them were 12. Wow. Bang it! Every Mexican chick that worked in there had to be a fucking 12. You're not going to find any of those bitches in the detention center. That's what they would pull them out of, right?

The detention center, they would go down and go, you get those four bedfoot ones. They're on fire, and they'd take them a town coyote, and Wednesday nights was comedy night. That's amazing. You got 40 bucks in a burrito. Oh, that's amazing. Or a smothered burrito.

Yeah. Oh, my God, you wouldn't eat all day. Like, you were that broke, that you were sweating. Getting that burrito. Is this place still open? I'm trying to go. It's open. It's under a different name now.

Of course it's under a different name. It's 40th name. You know, I could tell you, if I tell you the names today that have been there, as open mic or is like, just like feature X, you would fucking die. That's so funny. What about that thing you posted? I think it was a day or two ago on Twitter that scheduled the laugh stop. That was pretty crazy. Oh, my God.

Just like it was usually. Tom Rhodes, Rogan, Fitzsimmons, and a couple, it was like big names. And that's got to be 2001, 2002. That's pretty crazy. Damn. It's such a fucking journey, guys. It must be pretty, like, I can't,

whenever I see stuff like that, I'm like, what if I see Rachel in 20 years, and we were on the fourth wall list together? Yeah. Like, that's pretty cool. That's what I'm saying. It's like, I see pictures of people, of you guys from the past.

And it's like, wow, this is a moment in time and like history. Josh Wolf posted one a year ago. Yeah. Of an open mic list, me, him, Darren Carter. Oh, I think I remember that. Yeah, that's insane. You know, like, you know, this is Dave Chappelle before. Yeah.

Dave Chappelle, you know. I'm not good at saving stuff like that. I don't. You got to. I never. Do you save set lists? No. I don't really say.

None of it. I take pictures occasionally, but very, that was never something that I, I just don't even think about it. I got a folder of my comedy store set list. Yeah. A folder at the bottom of my draw on one side, it's set list, and the other side is call sheets. Wow. All the big call sheets and the little miniature ones, they put in your fucking green room.

Wow. Yeah, you got to save those. I mean, you don't have to. No, it would be cool. It's like it's your own little museum. I like, I have my, like, comedy notebooks that I've already, like, I'm saving them. Like, it's an honor to, like, fill another, another, you know what I mean? Wait.

Wait, do you look at it? Yeah. They can be like, what an insane person. Wait until you look at them 10 years from now and you go, the thought that I did this material in the last for you all, for a showcase. In front of all the biggest agents. Yeah, like this is the material I chose to do. How embarrassing.

The biggest night of my life because you'll still have that set, the set list. Like you'll have your diary for the day. Yeah. And then that night before you go out, you'll have like the set list before. you know, APA, APA was huge when I got me. They gave me a showcase when I found it setlist about four years ago. Oh, wow. And I wanted to run into a war head first.

No. I swear to God, I wanted to run into a war head first. Like the topics were just horrendous. Like, I remember, like, a topic and a joke, just horrendous. Like, you look at that shit and go. I'm going to be regretting, there's going to come a day where I'm going to regret all the eating ass material I've done. Yeah.

Home one you have a little... Not the eating ass, the material. Right. Listen, man, you... No, it's a part of my life. You say it. You know, you say it on stage. You know, that's why comedy

makes you so vulnerable. Yeah. You say this shit and you don't look back. And guess what? When I wasn't saying this shit, I didn't have a career. Yeah. So when I was talking about all that

goofy shit the first 10 years of comedy and I thought I was making strides but I was a regular at the store I was a regular at the improv you were just a guy cracking joke okay you were just a moron that got good at crack and rehearse jokes right it's not to you go into that second layer the epidermal and start saying let me tell you what I did and then bring it to life with a joke and make them screech a little first. Right. And then go, oh, we didn't know you were going there. Yeah.

You know, the first 10 years, you're just doing knock, knock joes. Yeah. You're just a fucking wedding photographer. You know what I'm saying? You're a bar mitzvah DJ. Yeah, you're a bar mitzvice DJ, you know. It's pretty cool. I did a show with Hazus Trejo last night.

And, like, even if I, like, last night wasn't my best set, but even seeing people do well, but then seeing someone like him, there's just a different level of laugh. and the laughter is more consistent and it's just it's like it's like seeing like a superhero like it's pretty crazy to see someone who's doing what you want to do and doing it at like such a higher level it's so inspiring yeah you never want to be the best like for me I don't ever want to be the best comic in the in the room right you know what I mean like I want well you do but you don't yeah but like I I always hope that there's someone around that I can learn something from you know not even if it's not the you know whatever like we said on Monday's podcast I

years ago watching Rogan at the Union at the Union it was a bar next to across the street from Miyagi which nobody knows what I'm talking about right now it's across the street it's changed the name three times yeah it's the pink taco

across the street if you go 30 yards I forget what it is now it was the union and I had been working with Joe for about three years at the time and I saw him have had great sets at the store but that night he was on pinpoint and every young comic in the room from i mean i can't even nick de paula was there that night like everybody looked at him and except for maybe nick

de paolo and a couple of other guys that were in the room higher level guys all that whole core i was with like i wasn't jealous of joe but i knew that if i did the work that was going to be me in 10 years. Yeah. Like that's all, that's all. There was no, like, it was like, wow. And then, boom, sometimes you catch performances that'll doubt you. Right. You go home and go, it's time to get on ZipRecruiter. I'll never get that good. The first time I saw Stanhope in 96, like I had, I knew Doug, but I worked with Doug in 92 and 91 and 96. He was a complete. different animal that I went like I had a gig that Saturday I saw him on a Friday and that Saturday I canceled wow like that's how shocking and how good precise timing yeah free was the

word right I didn't understand that you had to be free he was free he was out of the cage there was no holes barred it was stay in hope fucking coming at you people walking people walking people grabbing their purses and paying their bills and he's yelling at them as they're walking out go fuck yourself where you're going i got an abortion joke you got to hear you know like just tormenting them as they walked out and you're sitting there going i just want people to sit and laugh yeah what point are you happy that people walk out yeah he had flipped it around there was another comic in seattle that that was his thing to go on stage and grow there was two of them a girl and a guy that We're going to make them war

You won the war But you lost a battle Right Stanhope was doing it a little differently Stanhope was winning the war And the battle Because as he was throwing you out People were laughing

That he was throwing you out Well wait you're not gonna hear my tit fuck joke Don't go no way yet And the woman would be I've never You know like it was fucking nuts Like what you know And then I heard what he was doing down here that he would do sets at the improv

and just disrupt the show. Like the show would be fucking disrupted. Like all these neat comics will go up with their notebooks and their fucking swarmy shit and they would get nothing because what they had just seen was so surreal. The first time I saw Stanhope I cracked. But then the second type of performance I saw

was Rogan at the Union and I go, wait a second. two years ago I wasn't even I was fucking delivering pizza delivering Chinese food now I'm close with this guy and I'm able to see

this so that means I'm making progress right exactly you're making progress I know that that'll be me in eight years yeah if I get on stage every fucking day exactly and when you're at that point and you say I'm getting on stage every day you fucking mean it

yeah like I'm talking about hi this is mom I'm coming to visit and you're like, I hope not, because I got a weekend up in Fresno this week. I mean, it gets to that point. Yeah. Like you're like, mom, I don't have to fucking. I had to leave my best friend's wedding. Yeah, no.

I was in Vegas. That's the discipline. I went, my best friend is the one wedding I wanted to actually be at. I got to be there for an hour. That's the discipline. I saw them smooch. I saw them. I ate a plate of food.

I did. I took the food. And I dipped. I wanted to be there more than anything, but I was like, I want to be on stage more than anything else, you know, but this is what I really want.

And I get it. When it first clicks, the discipline becomes intense. Yeah. The discipline that you have to put on yourself. Like the word vacation is disappears. Yeah. The word day off disappears.

The word wedding disappears. Like there's so many things that just disappear. Relationships. Relationships disappear. You really want to do what you want to do. That person will leave on their own. Yeah. Because they know they can't compete.

I can't compete. Guess what? My friends and I are having this thing. You're like, unless we do it at 11. Yeah, exactly. What do you mean? But you can't be doing comedy. It has to be that one night off when you do comedy.

Stores open 365 days a week. What does that tell you? But yesterday, you did comics. You did the pizza place and you were so funny. That was yesterday. I got to earn my stripes today. Yeah. And you get this weird discipline to you.

And, I mean, I got to the point, and you get Josh Wool. Next time you go up there, you go, Josh, all those years were you having parties in L.A. The Joe Diaz ever show? Not once. And he was pretty much my roommate. Yeah. I always had a spot to do. I don't know what you're talking about.

There was a girl who broke up with me because she was into that. shit you know my brothers are coming out to visit me got none to do with me no that's got none that's your brothers no I ain't got no brothers my sister's in Cuba and if that bitch comes over she's gonna get the same creep yeah I don't know what you're talking about that's why I love people who date comics and they're not in the business see as comedians you can't be another comic why because it's not going to work how do you know I've been here for 22 years but if there are people there are comics who do it does work out why take the chance okay why take the chance why take the chance why take the chance what happens what happens if you start late and day and lead today okay you only fall in love

okay okay okay and now you start booking gates okay you got to take this mortadale with you no so the first six months it'll be fun you take this mortadale with you after that obviously you want to be on yourself on the weekends. You want to go do your own three things. Guess who's going to get mad? Boom. Are you going to get madly? What happens if you date this fucking mortadale?

We're both mortadale. And you both showcase for Montreal. Right. But you get picked. How are you going to tell her you got picked and us fucking ass is going to stay home? Oh, whatever. Guess what she's going to want to do.

Well, I'll just come with you. I don't want, you can't come with me. You weren't invited. I don't even think that. But for me, I feel like it could work. No, it couldn't. It's not going to work. It's never going to work.

I even notice a little bit of what you're talking about. I didn't even notice a little bit of what you're talking about. With just friends, just like comedy friends wanting to come to gigs. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I don't know. I just. Stand up as you in a wall on the microphone. If you want to join the band, join the Beatles.

You know, go do reunite with fucking SWV or something. Be the white chick. That's the bad mistake that, you know, you don't want to. So who do you date if you're a comment? Non-comics. You date non-comic. Non-comic. But then you have to train them from...

What about Natasha and Moshe? There's a couple. That's one in a million. What about Tom Segura and... Like I said, there's one in a million. But the percentages... What about Rich Boss and Bonnie McFarlane? The percentages are very low.

Yeah, but I get what you're saying. What about the agent from ICM and the other chick? Where's her career today? What about Ralphie and Lana? Listen, I agree with you. I agree with you. I agree with you. I agree with you for the most part.

First off, number two, both all three of those women you named. Yeah. A very, very, very, very, very, very comfortable. In one, their sexuality, two, and in their skin. Okay. Those three women are not needy. Tom's girl will kick,

Tom's wife will bit slap you quicker than I'll slap. Oh, yeah. Bonnie McFarland will hit you in a fucking head with a shovel quicker than whatever and the other crazy bitch you talked about. Who else? Natasha. Listen, I get it. I come from a strong-ass woman myself.

Okay, well, let me ask you this. How many comics Natasha on the Garo date before she settled out Moisher Cash? Probably a lot. Okay, yeah. Yeah. So now you got 20 morons and every time you walk into a club and look at her with Lisa. I used to

fuck her up the ass and put it on her. Wow. Okay? You know what I'm not? I agree with you. Like when you come over and go. No, no, no, I would never, listen, I don't think people should shit where they eat. I'm very much against that. However, I think in those cases, those are the cases where I'm like, I do like seeing those people together because they're perfect for each other. Because they are comfortable with exactly who they both are and there's no competition.

But I don't think every comic should be out here dating comics. And if you are dating a comic, like on the third date, once you decide to move in with Lee, You gotta set your rules. Yeah, boundaries. You gotta say your rules. Yeah. Same thing, what happens when you date a civilian? Yeah.

Because, let me tell you something. Sometimes they just don't get it. You're beautiful. You're beautiful. I want to marry you, Rachel. We get married. What does Joey do? Joey's a successful contract.

He makes seven figures a year, six figures a year. Yeah. He's very comfortable on who he is. We start humping fucking awesome. You spit out a little fucking woofie. and you know what I'm not the fucking nanny type yeah so you're gonna go on the road with Dave Chappelle and Joe Rogan

and I'm gonna stay at home and watch the kid you got a better chance of fucking dying you know something saying yeah somewhere along the line it's just I like women who meet I love dumb bitches who hook up with comics Oh, you like watching it? Oh, I love it.

Yeah. I've seen that one, 300,000. Oh, man. I feel like you don't watch reality TV. I feel like those are horror stories. I watch reality TV. I watch life. Yeah.

Okay, I watch life and use people as guinea paste in my own little private show. I would pay to watch this show. I would subscribe. I'll look at you and Lee and I'll say, how long is this going to laugh? And I'll be happy if you guys do last. but I'll have doubts about different things. I'll just watch it. Yeah.

I won't butt in. I'll just give it. Honestly, Lee, if you got into Montreal, I would, and I didn't, it would make me so happy because in my mind, we got into Montreal, okay? Well, no, she's going to tag along with you. No, I have a gig that weekend. So you go off and do Montreal. I'm going to be over here doing my gig.

And also, if Lee's been doing it a lot longer than I have. So for me, in that sense, I got to respect that. You know what I mean? But you won't. See, I see what you're saying. But even me, myself, I can be a jealous person. I can see, I can see myself be jealous. I date you.

That means not I got to take you on the road with me. Not always. When I'm married to be on the fucking road together to. Or how about we, Donnie and fucking Marie? Who books that show? Sunny and share. Send me, give me that booker's number. I'm not like that.

You're not, but I think a lot of people are. A lot of people are. I'm very, I'm, I'm, I, my first year of comedy was very much as much as it was getting on stage and like writing and, and learning that and whatever. It was also the mental side of it and having to deal with those emotions of jealousy and worrying about what other people are doing. And really, I got to a place in my comedy where I'm like, okay, I am confident that like, in my material and who I am and like my, my, like that I know that I'm funny and that I'm in this journey. This is a journey for me. It's not like a rush.

I'm not everything that I've gotten has come to me at the right time and when I've felt like I deserved it. I'm not one out here like begging for spots. If I don't have a spot, I'm at mics. I'm writing every day. I'm getting better as a comic. And I feel like I've I've had to come to terms with that even with friends because a lot of my friends were getting stuff.

you know, and I was watching that in the first year of comedy, but you know what? I started to get stuff and it didn't stop. I started to get a lot of stuff. And I started to, and I was like, their success was my motivation. You know what I mean? And I just, I'm not ever coming from a place of jealousy. I always come from a place of gratefulness and gratitude that I'm even just here. So like, I think it takes the right kind of people, one, to be in comedy and two, to date

comics, two comics. It's never, I don't, but it's, comedy is not for everyone and dating comics is not for everyone, nor should it be recommended to everyone. If I dated, when you say dated, I fucked around with maybe four comics and I part-time dated one comic. Were any of them enjoyable for you? It got uncomfortable. At what point? Once you put it in their ass. No, no, no, no, no.

I shouldn't say that. I didn't get to that part. you would take somebody home they're a good piece of ass you're having a good time but then they do one little thing and it blows off the fucking whole night if they would have done it on the third night

it wouldn't have bothered as much as the first night okay like the four comic chicks I slept with were all looking for something what do you mean they were looking for help at some Oh, oh, I see. Like from you for their careers.

Oh, so they're in. That part of my career, remember, this is, this is when I was at the store. Right. This is girls that would see me at the store. Right. And go. You didn't think they loved you for you?

No. No, no, no, no. This is LA. Nobody loves you for you. Aw. No, no, I'm being cynical. I'm not saying that. Yeah.

Look, I've been married and I've met her and everything worked out. One girl I kind of, I dated her, I really liked her. Yeah. And I kept it as, as detailed as I could. But I couldn't think about six weeks on the road without a suck in my dick. So I brought her with me because she was that much fun. Yeah. We did coke together.

I could tie her up. So it was a blast. I could light her asshole on pussy on those nights, on those off nights. Yeah. Instead of paying for the hotel room myself, I'm sharing it with another comic. And that's what I didn't like. Oh, you didn't like that? No, when I got back from that, I was done.

Oh, okay. I still liked her and I still messed around with it, but our road work was done. Wow. Did you run into anything with, because you met your wife when she was working at the store, not, she wasn't a comic, but was there any weirdness there with her being at your work or with her knowing, with other comics knowing that she worked there,

they were pretty cool. I kept it under a hat for a year. Can I tell you something? My parents are a rare example of people who work together. Work together that could stay, yeah. Ran a business together

and have a successful marriage together. And these are, these are not, this is not recommended either for these people to be dating those. You know what I mean? And each of us, as a comedian.

No, but they were, And let me tell you there is just as much competition to see your significant other I get the competition part as comics not everybody chooses this career true for a reason So there's a little bit of the comedian there's a little bit of We're not completely on our game okay You're following I'm saying to you we're not completely on our game after I was 30 I learned that like where you are right now.

Now you start learning more about your relationships and where you are. So I learned one thing. You know what? Rachel's fucking beautiful. But I can't date Rachel. You know what? Because she's psycho.

Because she's a fucking pocket like me. And that means every fucking day, me and Rachel are going to smoke a pound of fucking weed and we're going to go into debt together. No, we're not. Because I'm going to be up working out. But I'm wrong about that. Catching that money.

But if you're an alcoholic and I'm a coach. cocaine head, it would work. But if you're a cocaine head and I'm a cocaine head, it's not going to work. Okay. Like after I was dirty, I started figuring that out in relation. So you got to just find someone who does compatible drugs with. There's a yin and a yang. You know, it's a ying and a yang.

I'm really, I feel like Rick Messina, when he told that girl that comedy doesn't work if you're over 28, I should have never said that. Just in the years I've been here, I saw a lot more people break up. comics and a lot more to stay together. Yeah. I saw a lot, I mean, a lot. Yeah. You know, when you're doing comedy for five years

and you're into it, like a girl like you, you're dealing with comedians seven nights a week. I bump into you, we go to Denny's, we go back to your house, you smoke a joint, you come out with pajamas on, something happens. Why are you letting my secrets out, Joe, Coco? And now we date little by little, and we try.

It's happened a thousand times, you know. But it ends kind of weird. And now I got this like Mitzi, sure. Let's say you and I dated. And we were both at the store. If we broke up after two years and Mitzi found out, now she would make you follow me. Oh, my God.

Every night. And I would make or me follow you every night. So she would make you. So force you guys have to work together. She would make you. No weirdness. No, no, no. there's difference between working together.

You're the NC and I'm the headliner. But when you got to bring me up and shake my hand, even though you left me for Lee. Oh, God. Okay, you left me. His triangle. For Lee. Literally.

So now I got to go follow you, even though I want to spit in your face. Or I left you for your sister. Dang. Would you want to bring me up without wanting to spit my fucking face? That's a complete different emotion she would have. That's probably great for the stage, though. Oh. So inspiring.

You know, because what are you not going to shake my hand? Yeah, no, I definitely would shake your hand. Are you going to go up on stage and say this next guy coming to the stage? Fucked my sister, stole my car and cheated on me, and gave me fucking clemity. He fucked my sister, the climatic motherfucker. And we're getting married next week. Thank you so much. That would actually be kind of funny.

Would you say that? No, you have to say, this next guy I love. I've seen him on HBO and I've seen him on Showtime and Comedy Central. He's one of our all-time favorites. Keep it going. And you got to say this while your heart's breaking because he's going home to your sister. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah. That builds. That's called the discipline. The discipline. I'm ready for it. This is no. Lee, are you ready to fuck my sister? Bring me up on stage?

This is just like the Japs did, you know, There's a discipline. There's a discipline. Remember when the japs and you fucked up. What do you do? You got to go get a sword and fuck us out. Hurry, curry, curry. It's a discipline.

Hari, carri. You fuck up, you cut your thumb off. We're not cutting thumbs off in here, nothing. But you have to run the CEO of your comedy. Like, it's a discipline. I don't give a fuck if the period is gushing out of my pussy. I got a 15 minutes. spot at the story. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. These are all the things that, you know,

I don't care if I'm sick. You know, they just, when you get into that love of it, there's just this discipline that's like. But I feel like it kind of is like, Hari, Kari, Kari. Just in the way, like, if you go on stage and have a bad, like, it feels like you're stabbing yourself and you kind of, like, I feel like maybe the point of Harry Karai so you learn from it. And hopefully you learn from, you make, like, I'm not going to make that mistake again on stage. In some way, I think it's similar. No, you make the mistake again again to see if it was even a mistake.

Okay. Okay. I never thought about that. You make the mistake again on the stage to see if it was even a mistake. Maybe there were just an audience that was deaf and you didn't get the memo. You know, maybe there were an audience that doesn't like fucking sucking and fucking. You didn't get the memo, you know? Yeah.

I'm sorry you're turning your podcast into a comedy class. Oh, no. I'm learning so much. I really wanted to get to learn about you because she's so interesting. Oh, thank you. So who do you write for now? I know you're right. Do you write?

I'm not, I mean, I've written for publications. I've written for High Times, Mary Jane, Vice, Playboy. Right now I just work and do marketing during the day for the weed industry and comedy at night. And when you say weed industry, who do you? I work. Who signed your paycheck? Budfeed, Cush Queen. I shoot for a bunch of brands.

I yeah I do social media marketing so I get a lot of work in the weed industry just use smoking talking about that problem well I do I do shoots I am part of a YouTube channel where we film videos we have like 70,000 subscribers all about weed kind of from an educational base standpoint with a little bit of humor and then I write for publications. I do social media marketing for brands and companies. I run ads on my account.

So yeah, I just, I try to You're pretty much making a living off the weed company. Not fully a living. I'm between weed and comedy, that's what I make my living off of. Now, you also said in an interview that

get to know the weed plant and keep it original. Yeah. If you want to get into the business. Yeah. What did you mean by that when you get to know the plant? Yeah, for me, I just see a lot of people who are getting into the industry. I mean, everyone has their intentions of getting into weed. But I just think that you need to really, I don't like seeing people who get into the industry and don't have a relationship with the plant.

Because for me, it's a medicine. And it's, yeah, and it's, I feel like it's like you're taking advantage of something and of people who, you know, know, this is a medicine. This is something that's special to us. It's healing. And it's becoming so corporate. And that's the side of it that like when we voted for legalization that a lot of people warned us about that this is what it would turn into. And, you know, over time, I think things will change. But you're seeing so many different kinds of people trying to get into the industry. And I get asked this question a lot of like, how do I get in? What's the best way? Because I've, you've been smoking for two weeks. Yeah. And all of a sudden, you know what I mean? Now you listen to Bob Marley.

Yeah, all of a sudden you got a weed t-shirt. That's what I saw in the very beginning. I saw a lot of fakes, fake in the funk. Well, and so for me, it's just like, well, you know, one, get to know the plant from an authentic standpoint. Find why you love this plant. What is it that attracts you to the plant? And then for me, be original. Like whatever you're doing, whatever you're producing, whatever you're putting out there,

whether it's marketing or you're trying to do a brand or you're trying to do a grow. Like be original, be authentic. Like find a way to add, not take away from whatever is out there, I guess. You know, you brought a blunt. I did. And we smoked it before the show. Yes. If this was three years ago right now, we'd be on our 50th bomb hit.

Yeah. 2000 edibles. Yeah. I had to cut that out for two reasons. Number one, I listened to the podcast and we were putting our shitty content because we were stoned 80% in time. Fair enough. And the other problem was that. I was attracting the wrong kind of audience audience okay I didn't want the audience I didn't want to

ever lie the audience I smoke you know a fucking eighth every two days of 25% and over THC okay and I have a bomb I do this one bong at a time okay I wake up to three three before I go lift three when I come back amazing two at one three before I got I smoke an eighth an hour. Do you really? I mean, I can go through an eighth and less than a day. Yeah, I could do them in a day. The bong slows me down.

Yeah, I should probably do that more. Okay, the bong, I do the bong because it's a bigger hit. I get them more from my bang. Yeah. When I smoke now, number two, I can't smoke the same weed every day. Yeah. So when I go to the weed store, I got to buy four weeds. Indicate, what daytime weed and nighttime weed?

I'm an indica guy. Okay, for sure. If it's a hybrid, if it's a hybrid, that's indicaabod. Okay, me too. And the percentages are I'll go with that. Cetivas just do not work on me. There's maybe one or two Cetivas that put me in a different state, but the rest of them don't do dick to me. Yeah, I feel that.

I'm an Indica dominant indica person. In one of your interviews or one of your YouTube videos, I saw that you had ADHD and then you were bipolar when you were 12, you know, between you and me, I don't know what half that shit is. I don't want to fucking know. Yeah. I do know that I had the same thing. I didn't get, I just knew from the first time I smoked weed, not alcohol, not snort and coke, not even pills, none of that shit. As far as weed concerned, something happened to me.

Yeah. If you notice, I'm not a big weed and a group type of guy. Right. You won't see me at weed functions. Yeah. I'm not, that's not my bag. For me, I do it like the fucking Indians. It's a, it's a, a ritual.

Yeah. You know, whether it's, as it very much should be. It's a ritual for me, a personal ritual. Yeah. I can't lie to you and a lot of people are going to hate on me for this. I don't give them a fuck if it's illegal on that. Okay. It's a ritual for me.

I like ripping the paper and then cluing it together. I'm letting it dry. And while it dries, I'm breaking up my butt and I'm listening to it music. And then I put it together. Like, I'll roll two joints. and put them in a thing and go to, when I'm on the road, and I'll smoke one before the first show and before the second show.

I really don't want to smoke with nobody. Yeah. It's my own personal little ritual. Totally. You know, if I know that you're going to be the outbring seven joints. So I could give you one, your own joint, just in case you blew a fucking terrorist last night. Yeah.

Now I have to have terrorist germs in my lung and age and orange. You know what I'm saying? When I was a kid, I would get sick when I smoked in circles. Oh, wow. I would get really sick. whatever. So for me, I never, for me, it was not about, I think that when this weed thing, and you and I both know this, we won't mention no names, I think a lot of people got on the weed boat to sell tickets and to make people think they were cool or whatever. It ain't

away the guy like me. Yeah. Because like you, I've been hitting this since I was 12. Right. And I think for even, when I think of comedy, when I think of a comedic mind, And I think of a drug. There's no better drug. Yeah. You know, this morning, when I got back from acupuncture, I had a fucking right. Before I came, he had to write a little bit.

I did four or five bonnets. Yeah. Loose in the wing. Oh, man. Canada dry ginger ale diet. Nice. And I put it, I leave my cell phone in the other room.

I go on the living room because I didn't have a chance to go get caught. You know, I had to do it there. And it's all part of my ritual. I love that. If I could, I don't like smoking while I write, I like to smoke, leave the bun in the other room, and then I write, and then get up an hour later and go refuel again. That's a discipline.

That's a discipline. Get up, move around, and go smoke again in another room. The common thing that I hear from people about writing high is that it'll seem funny in the moment, but then it actually isn't. Have you guys trained yourself to write high, or do you find the same thing? It's not about writing funny in that. It's about relaxing you. If you read the Stephen King book on writing,

It's not about writing a whole page. It's about sitting there for now. Okay. It's about you. I'm going to have to read that by. Getting up, going somewhere, sitting there facing the sun or against the sun. If you read his book, he sits a certain way towards the sun. Stephen Spielberg, the prince of fucking darkness.

The guy who wrote Kujo has to sit a certain way in a room facing the sun. and he plays music while he writes and he locks the door so nobody could come. I don't like my wife coming in the room but I'm fucking right. You can fuck out of you. That's why I go to a coffee shop and I sit in the same place to the coffee shop

so nobody could come up behind me. You know, I like all these little rituals. Rituals. But marijuana for me has always been a ritual. You know, I get up, I drink coffee, I pop a nicotine gum, I brush my teeth. Then I hit that pipe of death about 40 minutes in by fucking 8 o'clock I'm starving now I can eat my two eggs and bake it

What time do you hit when you wake up? I mean honestly every day is different I wake and bake pretty much every single day Every day different ways I've been on blunts lately which is probably not the healthiest But I just love that little bit of tobacco I like it from time to time I love it blunt and a coffee I go and I work out sometimes I'll wait to smoke until after I work out because I like to think of it as a reward you know it's my wind down um and definitely when i'm writing and even like on before i get up on stage like Felipe when you know we're chief and right until the moment we get walk on stage and i had some of my best sets you know high as fuck and like i'm just calm where i can like be myself and like

some stuff like maybe a joke will just come out and i'll write it on stage or something for me the refo removes the safety net yeah i'm fucking johnny willender you want to be johnny willander this your chance to be wore Johnny Willender. Smoke this. This is another discipline. Focus and go on stage, deliver. The audience will read that you're high. Yeah. And they give you brownie points.

They give you points off. There's a learning curve. You know, when you're drinking, you don't get that learning curve. That's true. When you're smoking, you get that little curve from the audience. And if you are funny, and they know you're stony, you start giggling. They're taking the ride with you. Yeah.

You suck them into your fucking nightmare. You suck them into your nightmare. It's true. You know, you really did. I don't do edibles before stage no more, but I will smoke pot like a motherfucker. Because, like I told my wife the other day, I go, this is why I don't like the word sobriety. Oh. Because you're always living on a fucking, I can't, I can't, I can't.

It's like the opposite of improv. Marijuana keeps me knowing that I'm dirty. Yeah. There is something. wrong or real you know i have always i've always dreamt of giving up coke and alcohol and pills and all that shit marijuana it's never even crossed my motherfucking mind like i will smoke till they bury me unless i lose a lung or an eyeball yeah i'm the same way something was it hurt for you in new york or did you be able to bring enough for the entire month i don't find weed in new york i brought

fucking two pounds of weed with me back there when i was there for three weeks yeah I had eight different types of weed. Oh, hell's yeah. You just put it in your back? Yeah. They don't care anymore. 28 ounces. I brought two.

Yeah. I bring a gym bag and you're dipping in the boxing glove. Oh, shit. You know what I'm saying? So now you have two bags. So if they lose one, you got weed in one. Yeah. And I don't lose both of them.

Yeah. Plus my steep lap, me bag has something. You put them all in different places. Yeah. I don't, I don't vape. That don't work no more. I don't like that. I was going to bring you a bag of vapes and they go.

Oh, that's all. I still would have taken them and smoked them just because you gave them to me. No, but they don't... The vapes do something to me. The first two of them and then I'm spitting up the next couple days. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm not a fan. Where do you see marijuana going in the future? Do you see TV shows? I mean, I've watched Bonapet and all the... Mm-hmm. Not the best. I mean, I saw a bus today that the whole rap of the bus was a CBD advertisement.

So it's going mainstream. Like, it's going to... to be huge. I think there's going to be maybe even a weed channel. I wouldn't be surprised that there was a TV network or if it all just went online. It's really just when mainstream advertising and the people like that are willing to put their dollars behind, you know, cannabis content on a mainstream level. Like what's like Coke or like Pepsi is going to be the first one to like back or sponsor something like that. We're really just kind of waiting. And I think honestly, if it goes federal, that's when we'll really start to see it on a different level,

you know, all over the place. I don't know who, I think it was, I don't know if we're both friends with them on Facebook, but yesterday someone posted a picture that some CBD company had like the time, you know how Times Square looked? They'll have like eight different advertisements from the same company. It was a CBD company. Yeah. I mean, it's the future.

It's everywhere. It's in our Walgreens. They're selling CBD at Sephora. It's my friend has a, uh, Kush Queen is that urban outfitters. now it's a CBD THC bath bombs. I'll bring you some for you or your wife if you guys take baths. And for you Lee,

I'm a shower guy. Okay, okay, but I'm not allowed to sit in the bath and soap in the same dirt. I don't know, maybe your wife, maybe you're, I don't know what you and. Women like that shit. I make believe like, oh yeah, it's romantic. It's romantic.

I think a bath I whack off, I gotta go. Hell big. Once I see that egg float in the fucking bubble. So why don't you just wait to jerk off? Because. Everybody wants to jerk off under water There you go Well let me just let

Yeah It'll be nice with a bath bomb Where do you see your career Going in the next six months In the next six months Ooh I'm What do you want to do next six months? Just continue to hustle

Writing I signed an NDA For some stuff that I'm pretty excited for So I have some things I shot my first pilot A couple weeks ago So What you shoot the pilot for?

It was for a E comedy For E and it was a game show that had all female comics on it that was about pop culture called Material Girls. So I'm starting to like, I'm open. I got, my plans are to learn and to grow

and to just be funnier than the day before. And that's like, I'm open. You take an acting class. I'm at Second City. Really? Good for you. Yeah.

So you're really making this work? Oh, this is my life. This is what I'm doing. You have a roommate? Nope, I live alone. My ex-boyfriend, I used to live with one of my boyfriends, but I no longer live with them. Good for you.

Yeah. Well, I hope you stay single for a while. Because it seems like the kiss of death. Oh, man. You're funny and you're going. You know what? Right now, you're funny and you're going places where I had that extra stress. I mean, I'm not, I'm never looking for that.

I know what I want out of this life. I want to stand up is my main love. Stand up is my, like, I'm married to stand up, you know? And that's what I'm going to be doing to the. day I can't walk anymore on stage and then I'll roll myself. But, um, you know, I, I, I don't like to plan my life. Like I have, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I just focus on what's right in front of me. How can people find you?

Uh, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram at Wolfie Comedy. And if they like weed humor or weed content, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram at Wolfie memes. And then my podcast on Stitcher, iTunes and Spotify, Chronic Relief with Rachel Wolfson and I'd love to have you both on. Where's your, what's the website where they can get your dates and whatnot? I don't really post dates on a website because I'm just, you know, lazy when it comes to that. But I do post my dates and my shows on my Instagram.

I just think that's where a lot of my people follow me. You have an agent and everything. Nope. I have a publicist. Do you really? Yeah. I recently publicist wanted to be my publicist. So that's what I'm saying.

I have a lot of good things. I'm in a good place. You know, life is happening. And I'm just riding the wave. Well, I've been watching you for about nine months. And I could tell you you're a hustler. Thank you. You're not looking for any handouts.

No, never. Felipe speaks very highly of you. I'm honored. Everybody that I've met has spoken very. They've asked me if I, if I know in you and I told him no. but this is the first time it's great to meet you. Thank you. You're prettier in person.

Oh, wow. You're on your photographs and stuff. You're always welcome on the show. I love you guys. Thank you so much. So where can they find your little stony ass? Oh yeah, at Wolfie Comedy. That's where they can find me.

And I just started calling you a Wolfie. I love it. I love your name. I love it. And you look like a Wolfie, so it's tremendous. So yeah, anytime you want to come on, you're always family. Thank you for having me. And I want to thank you, Motherfuckus, for always supporting us.

not forget the only date I got is the Lincoln motherfucking theater in DC August 9th. Tickets are moving. I'm sorry. The bargah is sold out and I can't have Is it really? Yeah. Fuck yeah. They're sold out since then. Oh, that's dope. Because my family's going and I can't add a second show. But we just put tickets up at the Stress Factory for October. So knock yourself out.

You want to go to New Brunswick. I'll see you Cuccasters there. Besides that, I want to talk to you guys real quick and then you go on and enjoy your fucking weekend. All right. Number one, listen, we wouldn't be a podcast without you guys, but we also wouldn't be a podcast without our sponsors. And I want to welcome Express VPN to the show, VPN to the show, because when they approached me, I read their information,

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So you cock suckers, take the ride, bitch. I'll see you guys Monday morning, ready to rock, tip top of goop. I love you guys. Stay black. Lee, kick this motherfucker mule.