The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #716 - Andrew Schulz

Episode Date: September 4, 2019

Andrew Schulz, a stand up comedian who independently releases his stand up clips and specials on Youtube and the cohost of "The Brilliant Idiots" and "Flagrant 2" podcasts, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: MyBookie.ag -  Use code promo Church to get a 100% match on your first deposit up to $1,000.    CBD Lion - For all of your CBD needs, from shatter to gummies, go to www.CBDLion.com and use code CHURCH for 20% off. 

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Put that fucking fire out. So did you go to Brandeis High School? No. I went to Baruch College Campus High School. Were you supposed to go to Brandeis? Did you have an option? Because that was not... No, but that was the way.

West Side School. Yeah. I was East Side. Okay, you're on the East Side. So I grew up on, like, East, like, 97th. And on the East Side, like, I was born in Mount Sinai, which is up on, like, what is not, like, 98th or something like that, 90, 100 or something like that, and, like, fifth. And then we moved over to 82nd Central Park West.

And then fourth grade, we moved downtown. We moved to East Village. So I spent, like, my 400 years on Astor Place and watched that neighborhood just completely flip over. That is crazy. Yeah. How are these siblings? One little brother.

That's it. That's it. What are your parents to growing up? My folks had a dance studio. My mom was a ballroom dancer. No shit. Yeah. And my dad, like, ran the studio with my mom.

No fucking shit. So it's been in your blood. Yeah, like they were just super supportive of this because they did it. And they kind of like, my mom's from Scotland, born and raised Scotland, came here when she was in her 20s and shit. So her whole idea in America is like you really could do whatever. Like I would really I would remember her like as a kid she would tell me like vivid memories my mom just going you can do anything you want She'd go she go if you if you reach for the stars and you get to the moon

You got to the moon like as a kid. I remember her saying that and I think that's been my competitive advantage Is like I have delusional thinking like I really truly believe I can do these things that are unrealistic And then I'm only competing with people who are also unrealistic When did you go to high school? This Baruch College campus high school. It was like inside Brough College. And did you go to college? Yeah, I went to Santa Barbara out here.

Did you? What did you major? Syke. Psychology. And when did you decide to get in the comedy? I was managing a restaurant while I went to school and they had a comedy night. Here in. In Santa Barbara.

Okay. And like a bunch of guys like the L.A. guys. Like I remember Sebastian coming up and performing in this fucking restaurant. Like I remember a bunch of guys. Like I remember TIG, Tignitonato coming and performing. Like, it's crazy. to see who's ended up, you know, blown up from the people that are performing this

shitty little restaurant. And then they asked me if I wanted to try it one time and I was like, yeah, I fucking always love comedy. Like I bought the deaf comedy jam like cassettes, you know, that scam way back in the day. Yeah, yeah, that comedy jam. Bro, you give your dad's credit card and then they just keep on

sending you these cassettes. So, like, we just had all these cassettes, but I was like obsessed, you know, and like, you know, watching the Kings of Comedy, that kind of stuff. Like, obviously, delirious and yeah I just thought it was so cool and then they asked me to try it and I was like fuck it I'll give it a try I'll pay in Santa Barbara I'll pay in Santa Barbara now I came back like a month later and then I just started back up in New York and what did it feel like when you started

I just loved it I loved it like I just loved the problem of it like you couldn't control anything it was like basketball you know I grew up playing ball and like the rim was always going to be 10 feet and the ball was always going to be the size of the ball and like if I could get open I can practice enough where I can hit that shot you know or I can practice number I can get by guys but with comedy it was like it doesn't matter how much you practice you don't know what the fuck the the room is going to be like that day you know what the fuck the you know ball is going to be like that everything changes so it's like this constant problem it's like how do I control all these different things at one time I just fucking loved it you know I have an anecdote I always crack jokes like on

In 56, I got one foot in a grave, one of a banana peel. But the truth of the matter is, I got one foot in the grave, but I'm still learning something every day. Yeah. You know, and it's a lot of regular people listen to this, and a lot of common people listen to this. I tell a lot of young comedians not to be in a rush, that it's a journey. Yeah.

And the journey is the best part because you get to find the treasure that is life. Life is a fucking treasure. But that shit is so hard. Like, you know, it's like, you know how like every rich person says money doesn't make you happy and every poor person is like, man,

once I get some money, I'm gonna be happy. Right. It's like, my mom would say the same shit to me because she was like three-time you were as ballroom dance champion. Like so in her field, she was like the best. And she would always say, the journey is the best.

Like enjoy, you know, I come home from sets and bombing and just having like a home with her. She'd be like, listen, this is the best part. I'll be your life. This is the most exciting. And even now when I look back on it, and now I'm having all the success,

like, I still remember, like, diner hangouts. You know what I mean? After spots, like, just me and, like, the guys I started with just fucking roasted each other at a diner, the Selka 2 a.m.

Like, those are the memories that, like, stick with me for some reason. How long did you have a date, did you keep a day job while you were doing comedy? I did. I was probably not doing it. I live with my parents for as long as I could, but I was probably doing a day job for the first, maybe three years.

And then I just kind of lived off scraps and then nothing. I would get like a little gig here or there. And then like the second I could, you know, maybe a college gig would pop up. And I would just kind of like live off, you know, five bucks a day or 10 bucks a day eating falafels for, you know, two, three meals if I could. And then eventually some things start to happen. And then, you know, I got one thing. I got the next thing. And I could make just enough.

and if I had to rent out my room and my apartment, I would do that. But it was just, how do I focus all my time on comedy? I had some savings from working. Like, my whole hustle with comedy was I had some savings from working in college, and I was like, I'm going to spend all that money, and hopefully by the time I'm at zero,

I'll make money doing comedy. So I just invested everything I had saved my whole life into learning how to do comedy. You know, I always see these people that invest in the stock market or gamble. I always tell people, If you're going to gamble, gamble on yourself. I've always gambled on me, and I've always been on me.

And to be honest, I've always been the underdog. I've known this when I walk into the room. You know, that's what keeps me fucking bouncing. Yeah. But you've taken the hustle in a different way. You've got to do it, man. And there's not too many people that get the system. You know, you become an open mic.

You fight, you fight, you fight, you fight, you start getting a little bit. And all of a sudden, Comedy Central, or somebody gets involved, and then you scrap, you scrap, then something good happens. And then nothing happens for a while. And you're like, well, my agent's going to help me, or my manager's going to help me. Or my friend said, at the end of the day, the only person that could help you is you.

Yeah. You have to sit down, evaluate where you are, grab a notebook, and set out a plan. That's it. And stick to that plan. Yeah. And whether your mother dies, where your dog gets hit by a car, that thing gets executed. And you do it enough.

And it just becomes secondary. And next thing you know, I think that 90% of people don't stick with things because they don't see the results. Yeah. The first year. They need it quick. They need it quick. And that's what this journey taught me. I had no patience.

I want that pussy now. I want that grandma Coke now. I want that pork fried rice now. It wasn't like that. But by the time I got into comedy, I was 32. And I had already been beat up by life, had already been to prison. So I was like, if I do this, I'm going to do this the right way.

I asked a thousand questions. I got a job. As like a door guy at a club, I asked a thousand questions. I knew. The other day somebody wrote, you know, restocked your shirts. You could make more money. And I'm like, if I wanted to make money,

I would have got into selling cocaine. Yeah. When I got into this in the beginning, from day one, I always said, there's not going to be any money. Yeah. And that's what made this journey for a guy like me even better because I'm like everybody else.

Yeah. I was waiting to get money to make me happy. Yeah. you can't get good at money that's the thing I realize like a money isn't a skill right so it's like I can't get good at that I can get good at a skill and I've I've realized at least wherever there's greatness there's money like you could be the best at darts and that motherfucker's making money nobody that's the best at something isn't making some money so my my feeling was like I'm just going to do the shit I love and money will find it money will find but I never and the other

thing is like I realize like if I'm I'm kind of like maniacal with my work ethic like, but I gotta love it. So my feeling was like, I'll just do the shit that I love and then I'll work my ass off on it. And I know I can outwork you, you know, even if you're better than me or you're more gifted to me or something like that. Like, it's just, I'll outwork you. But I can only do that if I really love it.

So I know I love stand up more than anything. So I don't mind, you know, grinding as hard as I pot. Like tomorrow I'm going to, tomorrow I'm going to take a flight at midnight to New York. I land at nine in the morning. I'll do two podcasts. And then I hop on a flight to Russia. You know what I mean? Like a lot of people just won't do that.

A lot of people will be like, I'm going to be tired. So I'll just subtract tired. I'll subtract a lot of shit that's fucked up. Like, friend, like, I haven't seen a lot of my friend's kids. It fucking sucks. But, like, there's certain things you got to sacrifice if you want to be great at things. You didn't get prone to this point if they look at kids anyway. You don't look at your own kid when you have been.

That's for Epstein. You know, that's, that's the honest to God truth. Yeah. I've been watching you. I've been watching your movements and stuff because I love watching. I love, you don't learn, but you learn by watching. Let me see what Richard Jennings do.

Let me see what this guy's doing. Let me see what this guy's doing. Oh, this guy's putting $200,000 into a special that he really fucking thinks he's going to sell. Good luck, fucko. You know, you watch. And you just, I just figured out your whole game. Number one, you're a psych major.

Number two, you're an old hoopster. when you're an old hoopster you always know one thing that guy is practicing right now that guy right now with basketball you can practice all day with me at night I go home and sit on the wall and practice my defense on the wall and do burpees

and I dribble everywhere all over the fucking house and I go in the yard and do figure eights and I had a backboard and I do what was the Madden drills what was the name what was the rebound that you just kept... Oh, Rodman.

No, no, no, no. Before him in the 50s. Like the Hoosiers? Like some guy had a drill, the something drill. You go from one side of the basket to the other, and I do that for three fucking hours, you know? When you play, and that was your mentality with basketball. If you're not doing it, that other motherfucker is doing it.

100%. You're sleeping? That dude's doing jumping, jacks. That dude is jumping right now, working on his vertical so he could block your shit. Yeah. So that was my... entirely when I was a kid.

Yeah. I'd watch a fucking bad. I still remember watching like the old Knicks, like Walt Frazier and El Monroe, you know, and I'd watch how War Frazier would walk up to you and turn around Roe would just pick your pocket. In those days, they were allowed to put their finger.

Their pinky on a defender. They would go like this. Let's say, let's say you didn't even see it. Watch this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's say when the Knicks were playing the Celtics and you had a cover white boy. What was his name from the Celtics?

Habibur? Haber check, right? I'm talking to the 70s. They would go like this, but they would hold your shirt in a way. See, the ref can't see that. Of course not. But you're not going nowhere.

Yeah. That gives me a minute. They would do the dirtiest things to you. They would put their hands in your shorts. Yeah. And that's why I was called, what was it called? Hand guarding. Yeah.

Hand-checking. Hand-checking. Yeah, yeah. They wouldn't hand-checking. They would fucking, they would take your shirt and wrap it under their finger. Yeah. So they really had one finger out and three out. It was fucking amazing to see, like, all the tricks that you could do.

But anyway, see, that's the school of thought you came from. You came from the fucking, if he's not doing it, I'm going to be doing it. I used to rewrite my son every night. When I first started, I would rewrite it every night. I'd just go, oh, that didn't work. Let me change it. I didn't understand in the moment that, that like you could perform it better.

I thought there was something wrong with it. So I was like, I'm going to fix it. I read every single book. I used to transcribe, dude, I was psycho. Like, I would transcribe whole specials and just try to understand what the joke was. How did he get from here to there, the premise? Like, I would just...

What would a special if you transcribe? Chappelle, man. I was a, you know, obviously Rock. I mean, I read Rock's book, but I was really trying to understand like jokes. I was just, I was like some people understand it. I was like trying to understand opening and the value of opening and like why it's setting a tone early can, you know, lead to something. And like I would disagree with a lot of conventional wisdom, but I wouldn't understand why just yet.

You know, like everybody always say like open up agreeable and all that kind of shit. And like I always felt in my heart that if I opened up like nice or sweet and then I gave them who I was, who's, you know, kind of challenges conventional thinking. Like I always felt like I was lying to them and they would resent that. So like I learned later on that it's like I should open up as hard as I possibly can. I could. Because if I can get them to laugh at that, absolutely. Everything else is fair game. That's it.

You know, but it takes a lot of fucking bombing and people throwing candles at you and shit to like get there. You know, so it was like, I mean, I had the coolest, we had this little room in New York, the village lantern. And I swear to God, the only way I could have developed my style is with a place like this. They just gave us the room and we would beg people off the street to come downstairs, but it was a place where I didn't have to worry about getting booked next week. You know what I'm saying? Like I was one of people begging strangers to come in. So as long as I got strangers in, I could perform and then I could actually fucking be me. I wasn't like doing the cookie cutter set so I get some more feature work at the funny bone. I was, I was bombing, but it was okay. I was bombing as me. I was trying to figure out what the fuck my version of stand-up was. And I was, I was bombing. I was bombing. I was bombing. I was trying to figure out what the fuck my version of stand-up was. And I was. I was. I was bombing. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was I don't know how I could possibly do that. I don't know how I could develop the tools that I have now if I wasn't in that type of way. How long? How many years that take you to get onto something?

It was like, for me it was like flashes. You ever like experience that? Like I go through these things where it's like, and I knew I was about to reach something else when I would start to bomb a lot. Like, like I think maybe Nate Bargatz. He told me this or something like I'd be doing fine, doing fine, doing fine, or for whatever. whatever I thought was fine at the time. And then I'd like, I'd start to do shitty. And I'd be like upset and like depressed about it.

And I remember my buddy, I think it was Nate. He was telling, oh, you're just plateauing. And when you're plateauing and you start to bomb again, it means you're about to have another leap. So every time I'll get into like a bomb streak, I'd be like, okay, it's coming. I don't know when it's going to come. But there's something about those bombs

that like bring the you out of you? The you out of you. Because there's nothing left. You get sick of it. There's nothing left inside. And then you go, Why am I doing these cookie-cutter jokes, which I'm not doing me. In the beginning, yeah, you're not doing you.

And if I'm going to bomb, I'm a dude as me, bro. If I'm going to go down, I'm going to go down swinging. I'm not going to let you beat me up, right? And then something in the going down swinging always brings out the raw you. And there's something about a group of strangers when they see authenticity. It's you. It's why you're electric. I was talking to Joe about this.

It's like they know it's real. they know it's real they can't help but see something real and if it's real they go along with it they'll laugh at cute shit from someone who's fake if it's like clever or that kind of shit but the real laughs are when they're in front of something that's authentic

they just can't deny it it took me fucking years yeah like I started out as Lenny Clark I wore a suit yeah that didn't work because it wasn't you they're not going to laugh if it's not you I would curse and the suit wouldn't fit And then it was just, it took me like four, and it took me, I dated a stripper.

She brought it out of you? She was a filthy animal. She brought it out of you. And she would make me spend my, I could do a gig, like $400. Yeah. She'd take me to the $400,000, and she'd dump me. Then we'd get into a fight,

and I could throw it out into the street with $18. I just bought groceries at a house. I'm like, and I would take, like, the prime beef with me, like walk down the street. I'd take the sodas. Leave the clothes. You're bringing to food? take the proof, just give it to a homeless person.

The last time we fought, you're not going to have this, bitch. The last time her and I fought was in L.A. And she was spraying me with Mace, and I was throwing like a prime ribata. Yeah. We fought on the street next to Vista in between Santa Monica Boulevard and sunset in 19-19. She was you with Mace. I didn't know she ate you with Mace. She was shooting me with Mace, and I was blocking it with the meat, and swinging at it with the fucking meat.

We're cleaning out each other. And after that, we're like, listen, man, once you shoot mace at your boyfriend, he hits you with me, it's time to really break up. Yeah. And we broke up, and today we're great friends. So I have a theory. And this is not all strippers, but like,

I think that strippers experience so much bullshit. Like so many, like, fake interactions with guys, guys trying to get over them, guys trying to schmooze them, this, like, pseudo, like, Vado part of a man, Beaz he's paying, he thinks he has some kind of like entitlement, did I think they see through bullshit

better than most human beings? And I think that, like, in a weird way, if you have, like, a friend of yours that's a stripper, you can't really be fake around her because she notices it. So maybe there's something to her, like exposing your authenticity.

No, no, no. We would get into fights and this one particular Monday, I went from fighting with her straight to the open mic in Seattle. And I went out on stage and just did six minutes on her, and somebody happened to catch it on tape. And then I'm going home, playing and going. That's it.

That's the guy. That's who needs to be yelling, screaming. I was angry. The jokes were funny because of the energy. the energy was right on and you're right after that I got bits and smatterings of it

you come and go out of it and then you try to replicate it and no it doesn't work it doesn't work at all when you try to be angry it has to be really you have to be passionate about it when did you start all the

multi-marketing stuff I mean when I had no other option you know I had no other there was no other way like no stand-up networks or anything ever wanted to fuck with me they just all

decided early on that it wasn't going to happen for me. So I filmed my own special and I was hoping I'd be able to sell it and everybody said no and I was like, well, I got to find another way. And that's when I started really analyzing what was wrong with stand-up. What did you pay for the first special if you don't mind? 20, 30 grand maybe, something like that. Edit, shot, everything. I mean, we had, that was a really elaborate one. And I did it with Manhattan production. They were buddies of mine and they did it for like the cheap it could it should have cost way more but like we had two different i did it in five different clubs so we had two different camera teams that were jumping from club to club because the idea was what would it be like to have a night of comedy in

new york and just following a new york comic around to these different spots but um but yeah i just i filmed that nobody wanted to buy it so i just sat there for a second lowest time in my comedy career for sure you know you and me a family i wouldn't have bought that shit either with family five comics you're driving me crazy but he's fucking respect but um

I was like bro I gotta figure this fucking shit out so I just started I just started seeing what was wrong with the game and how I could penetrate the game and um what I kind of figured just from asking people everybody I asked about comedy

I would ask non-comics I'd be like so tell me who are you watching like how are the specials and they'd name people and they'd always say the same thing they'd go It was funny. I mean, I didn't finish it. Everybody said I didn't finish it.

And I was like, okay, it's too long. It's too long. That's okay. It's too long. Number one, let's talk on the topic of specials. Yeah. I think that what's going on with specials today is a fucking horror show. Yeah.

And when people come to me and they say that they spent between 150 and 2,000 of their hard-end dollars on a special, I feel like fucking shoot myself. It doesn't make any sense. I've been here for 20 years. No, but listen to me. Bro. Nobody sells anything. You could shoot your pilot.

You could shoot your movie. It's cute. There's hope. Yeah. But you're not going to, because listen, I knew, I know it at least. If they want to buy it, they would have. They would have. If they're going to buy it, they would have bought it before you shot it.

Simple as that. If you got a show that you shoot in reality, and it's better than Seinfeld. And you shoot it, they're not going to buy it. because you date and shoot they don't buy it based on how good you are that's the thing that these people don't understand it has nothing to do with how good you are i've been the same good as i was before i was doing well and as i am now i mean obviously i've gotten better at stand-up because you progress in this art form but like i was good back then i was worthy of having a special nobody gave a fuck you know now wherever i go there's you know agents from different agencies

popping up to the clubs and everybody wants to have a conversation that kind of stuff tell him go suck my dick no no because you got to let people convert that's what I realized no no I understand that but now you see the change listen and I don't blame them there's a big change yeah you could be the funniest guy in the world it's a but if you're not selling the ticket it's a game it's a game they're not gonna talk it's simple as that and I didn't know that either when I got here in 98 I'm like oh I'm killing up at the store because we think it's about killing it's not about kill that killing shit is for you and me it's not about it's not for them that's a personal thing that you want to do on your

that's it I want to give them everything the fuck I got but there's people I see on TV and I was watching some Disney channel with my daughter and I had to go to the ice house that night and it was some fucking challenge of the network kids or something and one of the hosts was an ex-comic but I knew from years ago and I watched that show and I felt so bad he's like isn't that great yeah that's what I want to be a universal yeah with some fucking moot next to me being an announcer at the Special Olympics for kids I'd rather be at the funny bone in Columbus

fucking swinging dick up on stage, rocking it, you know what I'm saying? 100%. But it's so weird how I was never an industry favorite. When I did my C-So special, I was a little happy, but not really.

Yeah. When I did the Netflix special, till this day, I'm disappointed. Why? Because I wanted to be you. Okay. I did not want to cross that line. If you didn't want me,

like right now, I can go to Netflix tomorrow and say, I'm going to do a special with Cuban. And they'll give me a special. Right. Don't give me an hour taping in Miami. I can do that, but I won't. Why not? Why would I?

I got to play that you a fucking boat. No. Come see me in the fucking main room on a Tuesday night and tell me I don't deserve an hour special. So I don't argue on that. In my world, I don't give a fuck about that. but you're a special guy Andrew right now you're a very special guy

and you're special for comedy because you're letting people know what I tried to let people know years ago that you don't need anybody you don't know you don't need a network and especially in today's climate with YouTube and social media and whatever I'm not saying that you're going to be

listen if you want to do comedy for a year and put your videos up and get them to book years a headliner and then fucking Steve Simone goes in there in front of you and levels the page in front of you and you don't get ever booked again and then you can't go nowhere. Go ahead, put you. But I'm saying when people start to tell you you're really making a difference and you go on a time schedule every day, every second Monday, I'm going to put 15 minutes up. That means if you're going to put 15 minutes up, you got to fucking be ready. Every new Monday, every one day. every one Monday a month, you got to work. That takes work.

15 minutes takes work. If you commit to yourself to put a 15 minute special up every three months, that's an hour a year. Bro, it's a lot. After eight of them, people are going to start paying attention to you. I cannot stress more what you just said. I think the illusion is that if you just put some clips up that it works, I mean, to put shit in perspective, like in the last, seven months, I've released four hours worth of stand-up. I watched crowd work, and it was great.

Thank you, man. It was great the way that you shot it. Now, what is something like that cost you to shoot? I mean, that's nothing. That's like I have my video guy, Alex, Alex Media, shout out to Alex Media. And, you know, he's my full-time video guy. I got another comic that's on the road with me. Mark Gagnon, it also does video and editing stuff.

And we basically have this team as the three of us. And we brought five cameras down there. And we're just like, yeah, let's just shoot it and see what the fuck we get. And that's how I think comedy should be done. Like, I don't think you should put all this pressure to like doing this thing at one time, getting that one thing. I don't want that either. Fuck that. Like, film a bunch and use what's fucking good.

You know, it's like you want, I want my most natural moment. Like for you, if I'm capturing a special with you, I don't even want you to know I'm filming. Like the way I would shoot you I know I'd hide the cameras For a whole fucking weekend I don't want you to know And then And then I'd go to you at the end of the weekend

I'd be like yo Joey by the way Remember that set that you did in the main room Blah blah blah yeah you fucking demolish So we got that all in video You want us to release that as your special And you watch it and you're like Holy shit this is raw This is natural

It's not you looking at the camera to make sure I never tell the audience that I'm filming Because I don't want to put that in their fucking head I want a real organic moment between comic and audience. You know, and that's, I think that's a lot of times the difference between the clips, you know, like that we put out and that kind of stuff. Like, I'm not putting out only jokes. I put out some crowdwork stuff.

Obviously, I put out the crowdwork special. But, like, I'm just kind of trying to capture these raw, organic moments that we have. And we put out a fucking lot of it. But that's what I need to do to compete with a billion dollar company. I'm basically out here just going like, yo, we should be able to have a lane for us. So if you're a comic and you want to put the work in, please. do whatever I did. It's a blueprint for you.

If there's one thing that comedy's been great for me. There's one thing I can get back to comedy. Hopefully it's a little bit of freedom for comics to, you know, who might not have had an opportunity to make one for themselves. But what comics don't understand, what people don't understand in life is, whether you're a realtor or comedian is, you make your own path.

100%. You want to believe, like I love these guys that go, hey, I'm starting a new podcast. I'm starting with blah, blah, blah, and they're going to fucking push it for me. No, but he's going to push it. Sorry. I can just see another doomsday coming.

This is another doomer who believe that somebody's going to push him. You believe that this network, who can't even push their own TV shows, are going to learn how to push a fucking podcast. And then when nothing happens, they're like, I don't know how it happened, because where the fuck were you? You know, I've been doing the same thing for the last 10 years. I get up at 6 and I hit social media early.

Did I invent that? No. A guy by the name of Howard Stern invented it. I just copied it. There you go. And that's all we're doing is watching what works for certain people and putting it together. Yeah. I don't have, you know, millions.

So all these guys, they shoot their $200,000 special. If you get to a place to shoot a special and they got a camera, boom, I don't want to do it. You just took the organicness out of the fucking room. Dude, think about this. Have you ever seen a nice, beautiful shot in a special

and that shot made you laugh? No. What the fuck is the point of the special? Have you ever... You sit at a comedy club, right? Not every seat is good. There's a fucking beam, blocking half at a stage.

Who gives a fuck? This idea that a comedy special got to look like the VMAs. It don't. It has to look like a comedy club. You've got to feel like you're in the fucking club. It's got to sound like it. Like people try to make the audio of the mic sound so good.

And it's like the audio should sound good. You should hear what the person's saying. But you also got to feel the crowd. All these specials out there sound like the comics bombing. It's like the crowd plays part of it. Make the person at home feel like they're in that fucking crowd. I know why I love the concept of the podcast so much. Why is that?

Because I wanted to make people start listening again. Yeah. I think we forgot how to listen. I see it in humans. Yeah. We don't listen. Every day, you could tell us to me something 10 times. Yeah.

And I'll come back to you around. Whatever. You know, what the fuck? What the fuck we just say in here? We don't listen. Yeah. We don't pay attention. That's why I love the podcast because it's unedited and raw.

Yeah. I could say the one, Lee knows. You come on this fucking podcast and you say something. You call me an hour later and say to take it out. And they have. want to hear. It ain't happened. It ain't happened. This is what a podcast is. We're not radio. Yeah. I'm not answering quite. I don't want to do nothing. Yeah. It's us having a fucking conversation. Yeah. When I grew up, I grew up where you put in, you put in, uh, was it something I said,

or is the niggas crazy. The album would be a little warped. Yeah. Yeah. And you would listen to it. Yeah. Red, uh, Richard Pry's jokes would be a little off. You still left and you still had a good time and then in nineteen seventy-something richard prior put out a special with the fucking chalkboard behind them with a menu that had the dailies a hamburger 10 cents a french fry and i thought it was the most the most brilliant thing i'd ever saw in stand-up one of the first tapes i got into i evolved into yeah after i started stand-up and started watching it was that richard prior special yeah and what gravitated me to it was the fact that he was in front of a side of a side of the menu yeah they didn't have a fucking curtain yeah or brick wall with shiny lights yeah he just showed up

to a place and they just taped them yeah it became a fucking special yeah you know when these agents and managers say well i've had 20 managers tell me well look at filippe special it wasn't shot right what are you talking about ended up in hbio shut the fuck up well look at that special. It wasn't a shop right. It ended up on this fucking thing. Just have a good idea. Shut the fuck up. And if Netflix don't want you, listen,

who gives a fuck? You're going to be all right. You're going to be all right. If fucking what's the other one that's doing it now? Amazon. Amazon don't want you. Yeah. You're going to be all right. If Comedy Central don't want you, you're going to be all right. Why? Because you got a notebook,

you've got a stage, you got a camera. And you got YouTube. Yeah. You got YouTube, you got Instagram, you got Twitter. I mean, if we're comics, we should be trying to make money on the road. That's the way I look at it. Like, I've never made money from a special.

So now I have the most leverage going into any negotiation because you can't take anything away from me. Right? It's not like I'm one of these guys that I need to put a special out every year because my mortgage is paid by the special. It's not. My mortgage is paid by the road. So when I go into negotiation, someone's like, well, we'll give you $25,000 for you to do this. on Netflix, I'll be like, I think I'm worth more than that.

And this is the number I think I'm worth. And then that's, nothing is going to be lower than that because I'm fine without it. Did you get a proxas? Yeah. Did they ask you? Yeah.

And you turn them down? Yeah. Good. But not that I was against it because my theory is, I don't have anything against Netflix. I post my stuff on Twitter, on Instagram, on YouTube.

Like, I'm not against posts on Netflix either. My whole theory with it was, I'm going to, if I do do it, I'll post, you know, people will go see it on, on Netflix, and then they'll look for more of my shit on Netflix, and there won't be anymore. And then they're going to go, okay, well, where else can we see them? And they'll YouTube me. And then I just converted all those people to my YouTube subscribers. And that's way more power for me.

So I wasn't against it, but I got another offer that came in that was significantly higher. So I was like, okay, that's closer to what I'd be interested in. I watched the The crowd work special I came to LA as a post-production person And everything had to match And even if you're shooting two different shows You don't want people to know

And the thing I found interesting about your special Was Is that there are a few moments Where you can tell that it just You went from one place to another Yeah And what you guys were talking about Is in your head when you're editing

Like oh they're gonna freak them out And two seconds later You're interested into the next joke They don't care They want to be entertained. They're not, they didn't come to LA for post-production. Right.

You did. You're an artist, so that's your art. So you're looking at every brush stroke. You're like, ah, man, you know, Van Gogh didn't want to do that shit.

But the average person listening is having a fucking tough day. They just came back from working a fucking shitty job, and they want 35 minutes of distraction from an annoying fucking day. And if you can provide that, there's no way in hell they're going to go, I would have adjusted the light a little bit

in that, you know, second bit. Right. They don't care. They really don't care. If the idea is there, it speaks to it. Like, I think most people were into watching it because they're like, he's just going to do 35 minutes on stage and not bring any jokes.

He's just going to like riffs and fuck with the crowd for 35 minutes. Okay, I'll fuck with that. I think they were just curious in the idea. And that's what I always try to, with every special I put out, there's an agenda. And with this one, it was like, everybody keeps saying that, you know, we're so sensitive and we can't laugh at anything. And I'm like, that's bullshit.

I thought bullshit. It is fucking nonsense. Dude, the whole special is shot so you can see the audience and you see, obviously, me. And my crowd is probably the most diverse crowd in comedy. And the Mexican chick, the Indian chick, the black chicks, the black dudes, the fuck. Like, every religion is just getting fucking roasted and they're laughing at themselves. And you cannot be triggered by the special because you're not going to be offended on behalf of this dude who wasn't offended about the joke about him. So my whole feeling was instead of telling people not to be offended, I'm just going to show you.

This is America right here. Nobody's offended. The first five minutes, you goofing on a Korean guy. Boom. So, listen, you and me are from a certain place. And obviously your parents are immigrants and you see that. My mom, yeah. I'm never going to fucking change what the fuck I am.

You understand me? I'm never going to change who the fuck I am. Last week I was telling people about my little personal thing. things I just stopped talking to you like if you eat margarine we're not going to talk no more if you dip your fucking buffalo wings and ranch we can't talk no more you know there's a lot of things that we just don't need to talk you know you're off the fucking marker yeah you've you just done you're doing so many things that I believed in in so long if you build it they will come Facts.

You know, if you have 22 videos, like I said, you keep continuing. And I see what you're doing on social media, brother. I watch what you're doing on social media. How you're luring them in and whatever? Let me answer to this. Yeah. A punk where it came and said, well, why didn't your pantry on it? Because you're like, for the $5.

Yeah. What's different? Yeah. You're making it. Short money. It's short money. It's like, we have a Patreon for the podcast. Right.

But like for the clips and that kind of stuff. again the long the long game as bigger it's like affect comedy like when I see I'll be honest when I see you know Chappelle's special sticks and stones right and like the the topic material he's going after and like what he's doing like part of me is is really proud because I know we've been railing on that on YouTube for like you know a few years now and it's like oh shit we were right. Like we were right. Two years ago when we decided fuck this or three years ago, whatever, fuck this PC nonsense. The people want real comedy. Let's go out there and do it. And then when you see the biggest comedian in the game, you know, and he goes and echoes a lot of these same things,

it's like, yeah, that's right. We knew what we're doing. We're not fucking around. This was, when I saw Chappelle was coming out with a new special, how good could it be? You know, like, how good could it be? Could it be better than one day for two out of his, one I really enjoyed. Yeah. The belly room one. Yeah, the belly room one. This one, he hit it out of the park as a comic.

You're watching this and you're hearing these things. Listen, I'm not, two, two, three, listen, I decided 15 years ago. In comedy, listen, I saw, you know how many fucking comics I saw a lead this town because they're like, well, when I write material, I write material so the networks could see the show them. You already lost. You just lost. You already lost.

You just lost. I do grandma jokes because I want to paint the pictures when the network come to see me, you're done. I knew that 15 fucking years. I've been here 22 years. I knew that. Yeah. 16 years ago, I said, it's over.

You want to know a story? Go ahead. First time I went to Montreal, that was my thinking. I did Montreal just for laughs. And I did the new faces. And I had some jokes that I thought were like really funny. Brilliant. Oh, my God.

No, I thought a couple were good. Fucking John Mullaney better fucking put his suit, take his suit off. I'm coming. And then I switched it because I was like, oh, this would probably make a better show or whatever I thought that you're supposed to have as a comic. I don't even want a sitcom. But like, I thought since I was a comic that you're supposed to want to have. I switched it and I didn't do well. And I fucking bombed half the set the first.

time and like I just did not have a good new faces and I didn't go back for years and eventually I started selling tickets and they brought me back and then this last year I went back and I did nasty show and I was really doing well and they asked me to do this jeselnet gala and I had given them a set that I was going to do for the jeslenk gala and the day before the gala I said fuck that I'm not going to do that set no and I I just went up and I did whatever I felt in that moment. I didn't even have a set list. I was just like, whatever jokes feel that they're the right thing to do.

And I got a standing ovation, bro. And it was just this moment where it was like, trust your fucking gut. Stop trying to please these suits. Stop trying to please these execs. You do what you want to do and you fail until it works. And I promise you, if you can keep doing it long enough, it will work out.

Most people can't suffer that long, but if you can, it will work out. I don't know what I'm going to say until I get there. And even then. And that's why they like it. Even then you got a problem. But dude, that's why, like, with your special,

like, I don't want to see you walking on stage. If I'm watching your special, I got to come in to you already going. Does that make sense? Like, for me, I'm the guest at your house. Not that moment where the comic walks and through the curtains and that can... No, no, you're already moving.

I should hear your voice already going. And you're talking about this. She got a monkey and this, this, that, there. And then, like, the camera comes through the doors and you're there. Is it, you know what I'm saying? Because that's your comfort zone. Your comfort zone is us in your house. It's your show.

You know what I mean? Not like, okay, time to turn it on. Yeah, no, it's what they preach and what you do. After I shot the Netflix degenerates When it's all came to me Yeah And here I'm doing comedy 26 years Yeah

And it all came to me I'm like that's it Yeah I'm doing something I'm going out with a different type of bag Let's do something man What are they gonna do? What are they gonna do?

Get me fired Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah What are you gonna do Fucking Now another thing that you're doing That's very intelligent is Let's be honest I got a wife

I got a kid I'm over 50 I got a pee. When I sit down. When I sit down here, I'm over 50, I got a page. When I sit down to watch a special, like I become a consumer. Okay. You got about six minutes.

That's it. Okay. And if you pass that six minutes, the honest opinion, if this is Jesus and you're killing, I'm still probably going to shut you off at 28. Go do something. Completely reasonable. I sit there and catch myself going. There's something I got to be doing.

Of course. Instead of sitting here like a mucleroi. Yeah, you're an adult. And then you do something and then you come back and you finished it. I have to be honest with you. There's a special. I tolerated for 38 minutes. I went and did something.

Then a night later, I came back and watched it. And then I watched it over two nights back to back. And that's what it sunk in, what he had done. But something you were going to start saying earlier, you did your special at 35 minutes. and you've noticed that when you watch a special, is you being you. Even if you know Chappelle or Bill Burr or Theo Vaughn, at 28, you're like, I got to go do something.

Dude, I had to earn 35. I didn't deserve 35 minutes of your attention. Imagine a stranger walked up to you and he was like, hey, you want to listen to me for 35 minutes? You tell him to go fuck himself. Yeah. Right? Like, it took me years to earn 35 minutes of your attention.

I started at 15, and then I just put up clips, The clips were anywhere from like two minutes to maybe nine minutes, and I would do that every week. And then I put another special out, but those clips are around seven, eight minutes each. But you could watch them together. And then even then, you'd cap at around 32 minutes. But I slowly built up your tolerance for me because who the fuck was I? I was a nobody. Nobody knew who I was.

So I needed to slowly build you up to who I was. And then once you really trusted me and you love my standup, you love my perspective, and I give you 35 minutes, you're happy you're like oh shit it's not just 10 we get 35 it's a treat not a chore and i always want our art to be a treat not a chore i never want you to feel forced with comedy i never want you to feel like you're bullied into it you know you must stay to the end we've got to do nothing bro it's an honor to stay to the end that's what it should be that's why i never really sold shirts after the show you're out I always felt that I really tortured you enough. Come over, shake my hand, don't shake my hand.

Yeah, but they want the shirt, man. But they want the shirt. They fucking love you. They want that. Go online by the fucking shirt. I don't want to, I want you to come talk to me. Like, man. If I have, like, I don't like adding a second show some nights because the club will say,

you sold out. Yeah. You can't go out there. They have nowhere to go, you know. Yeah. That bothers me. Yeah. Because I want to talk to them.

I want to see what's on their mind. I want them to come and tell me, I got all Foxy Cotons because of you. Yeah. I started fucking my girlfriend and he asked more because of you. You know, I wanted to tell me what's going on with their lives, you know. But I always felt you have no idea. I watch, you know, I'm a fan of comedy. Like, you can tell you know who Gene Perretta is?

Gene Perrette. He's a writer. He had workbooks on how to write comedy and shit, you know. I did everything. I was a student of the game. This just didn't fucking happen. Yeah. I just didn't go on YouTube and crack a joke and people come to my shows.

I wanted to, I had nothing else. I had no parents, no fucking money, no relationship. Yeah. You know, so I had nowhere else to go. I was like Richard Gerey anderson and the gentleman. Yeah. So I had to dive into this, you know. But I've had beliefs over the years with specials and, you know, social media.

You've, you're one of the ones. the few people that I'm really enjoying your journey because you're proving my perspective to myself. Because I knew it. I knew it. First off, we have, listen, if you came to L.A. in 1998, you had an audience, you know what your audience was a day? Three hours. Yeah.

Eight to 11. That's your audience. You're not a daytime host, are you? No. So unless you showed up on fucking NYPD Blue or whatever, you have three hours a day for them to catch you from 8 to 11. Now, I got Andrew Shilts 24-7. If I wake up at 4 in the morning and I have insomnia,

I can put on Shultz's podcast, whatever's 35-minute specials. It don't cost me nothing, whatever the fuck. It's there. That's the brilliant thing. You know what? I got to be honest here. It's pretty tough while you're at work to click on to Netflix, click onto the app.

Pay on the app. Put on a different page and listen to somebody. It's Netflix. It's a visual. But you know what? Even with YouTube, I believe now that your audience is from 6 in the morning

to fucking 11 at night. Later. They could watch. Yeah. So you ever put a clip up at 11 o'clock at night and you wake up in this 90,000 comments? That's all from England and fucking Romania and fucking Berk, you know,

Australia, New Zealand. You're like, who the fuck is watching videos at this time? And the fucking day? So it's become your 24. seven you're accessible 24 seven and shareable but and shareable that's the big thing but the highlight is eight to five yeah eight to five is a huge window compared to eight to 11 at night so people go into work they get their work they click on to YouTube they put on Andrew and they go on on their page yeah they giggle while they watch that's it and that to me I knew the

same thing. All I needed to do is tell my story. I was just waiting to tell my story. I knew eventually there was going to be something, some break in the system that I could tell my story, and that's what separated me from the rest of these motherfuckers. Yeah, you know. But you needed a place that was uncensored, because some of our stories are better uncensored. Yeah, no, no, no. Well, there's no sensory in my world. So it's like you and I, we needed a YouTube to exist for us. You know, like, there are a bunch of us that needed that freedom so that you can, you can't could get the authentic version of us. And that's why we tend to thrive in this open free market, whereas like cornballs

tends to thrive in the clothes market. You know, when there was only Combe Central HBO doing stand-up, it was like, well, you better be in one of those lanes because if not, you don't do stand-up. Simple as that. And there are a lot of people that just did not fit in either of those lanes. And, you know, thank God that we got this new, like now you got no excuse, man. Now it's like, you know, in high school, you got to like kind of fit into some group or you're by yourself and then you go to college and it's like, oh shit, I can choose my friends. That's the internet.

The internet is you do your fucking comedy. People will find you. You like talking about rats and shit or knives or potions. Motherfuckers that like rats, knives, and potions are going to find your comedy and be like, yo, that's the guy. That's who I fuck with. The rat potion. Dude, I love that guy. I just believe that, man, 100%.

But it's funny because years ago, If you had YouTube, people had to scroll by you. They had to look for you. Yeah. You know, they had to bump into you now. You could lead them there. Yeah. Social media, little by little, little by little.

And I'm super lucky, too, because, like, I did a podcast with Charlemagne de God, and I still doing brilliant idiots where, like, he's one of the most, you know, famous people on the planet. So I got a lot of eyeballs through him. And then, of course, going on Rogan's podcast and The Fighter and the Kid and, like, seeing those massive audiences, obviously yours now. It's, like, new people can see me. because other people have supported me. Like, I'm not saying this is just me.

Like, I'm built on a foundation of, like, a million comedians before me and friends of mine that happen to have immense power and influence. But, like, what I realized is if you're true to the game, people who are true to the game will help you. Everybody who's true to the game gets a shot. You know, like, if you're a real one, other real ones notice, and they go, this guy's good. we need to get behind this guy.

I never asked to be on anybody's podcast, right? It was people who I just put out the work and I trusted that if I cared about the fucking work and I cared about comedy, it would be evident enough that the people with power will go, yo, man, come on a podcast. I think people need to hear what's going on with you. And I guess maybe that's,

I don't know, at least that's what it seemed like for me. It's just like by focusing on the game, you know, everything just kind of comes together. You know, I think I'd follow you on Twitter. And before you were on Rogan, I had watched a couple of your clips. And I had seen the amount of views you were getting. And I'm like, this kid's on to something. And then you popped up on Rogan.

I knew your name was Schultz. And then when I went back to shoot the soprano movie, you reached out, you were a gentleman. You were like, you know, you're in my city. Can I take you out to lunch? And now I started watching you a little more. And then last week, I read the Interobang article. I loved that guy. I love him, by the way.

He's a great guy. I want to send a shout out to when Cairo Bang. They do great work. Yeah. They care about comedy, man. And he, you know, listen, 20 years ago, you came here, Comedy Central didn't like you.

You had to go to therapy. Gotta go to therapy because... Better grow a beard. You had nothing. You had no option. You know, and yeah, you could shoot your special. Now, it's like you said, there's really no excuses.

You go out there, man. It's fucking... You want to be a drummer, whatever, but you have to stick with it. See, that's the problem. People do something for nine months. Oh, it didn't work out. Who gives the fuck? Stick with it.

Do it for 18 months. Do it for, well, man, now I'm getting 50 hits on my, okay. Then do it for another nine months, man. You were right. I'm getting 90. You know, it's crazy because people want to go from zero to a million. Yeah. And it's like.

Or they want to go viral. So bad. This video will go viral unless you got a dog who lights his asshole on fire You got a chance of going viral like Chlamydia That's the only chance you got to go on viral You're doing a joke about a fucking dog getting killed or something like that You know it's it's also your expectations Listen your expectations in this game

Like I said I've been in LA 22 years. I've seen stars Yeah Come and go guys that walked in to the store surrounded but he had to read Jews yeah and an assistant carrying his purse yeah yeah and they were gonna be stars and they walked into the store shoes you up spitz you out for followed dice by mistake and good night ego fell apart you never saw him again and then you see him eight years later with a kid ugly wife and family and now he sells real estate and can no good

part you know because but he was gonna be a star yeah you even went to fucking melds with him a couple nights and he told you how Man, when I saw that Hollywood sign, I knew it was calling my name. I mean, people really don't know they come out here with these expectations. And this happens in every field. It happens in law. It happens with being a police officer. With your expectations of something of what truly it means to be that.

That expectations are the killer. Expectations. They are the fucking killer, man. Just enjoy the way. work. That's what I try to do. Whenever I'm, I realize whenever I'm depressed is because I care too much about the outcome instead of the work, right? Like, whenever I'm looking at my phone, looking to see how many views something God or whatever, like the views validate if it was good or not, you know, like that's when I'm my most depressed or most sad or most just unhappy. When I'm

my happiest is when I've created great work and I don't give a fuck about what happens after I put it out. All I can control is the work. Once I push, you know, send or upload or whatever that button is, that's out of my control. So if you love it, cool, man. If you don't love it, that's cool too. Nobody's going to love everything. You're a very happy, go lucky guy. You're at it. How long have you been doing comedy? I think about 12 years now, 13 years, maybe coming up on 13. How long did it take to start clicking? I mean, man, I don't even know, dude. How long until you went to Montreal the first time? That was, I don't know, maybe five, seven years ago, something like that?

And you'd think that you didn't do well. I wasn't ready for it. And then, okay. And then you really tightened up your game. Yeah, I just didn't have a thing. I wasn't who I was yet. Like, I had little chops and shit. I could get it done, but I wasn't who I was yet.

Like, you know, like, you know when, like, you're not ready if you get rattled by no reactions here a bit. because you're faking it. You know what I'm saying? Yes. You're faking it because if the reaction is the only thing you're saying for, you don't believe in it. Right? But I knew I was ready or I know I was ready because I know a joke is ready because you cannot laugh at all. And I'll be like, all right, motherfucker.

Just wait. You guys, all right, you're going to slow play me on this shit? Just sit right there, you stupid motherfucker. And then eventually, okay, now they're coming in. Now they're coming in. But I'm not flapping because it's ready. The bit is ready or I'm connected to the bit. You know what I'm saying?

It's, you're free, man. You're a free guy. And a lot of people don't know it. They're free. You've gone beyond borders. You don't care about the rules. Fuck them. There's no rules.

God, you're looking at something. I don't care about the rules. Because we're just going. Like, when I got into comedy, I didn't want to be Kevin Hart. Yeah. And I hope he's recovering. My church podcast goes out there for sure.

He had surgery and whatnot. I didn't want to be Kevin Hart or Dave Chappelle. I just wanted to survive. Yeah. I didn't want to sell drugs. I didn't want to go back to prison. Right. But I fell in love with something.

I studied something. And then I started looking at it from the, I saw how Jay Davy, see years ago, would pack out room. And I'm like, what the fuck is Jay doing? I'm not doing right, you know. It wasn't just Jay. There was a couple handful of comics that were packing out local rooms. Well, they had the balls to go out and pass out flyers and go out and do social media, you know.

And then finally one day I'm like, I'm going to start fucking around with this computer. And they changed my world, you know. But again, I watch the computer. I watched Twitter. I didn't see you on Twitter today. Yeah. You know, there's people who just socially, social network to debt.

You and I do it very calculated. You're very calculated. And I really, that's a big part of being a comic today. Yeah. You know, when I came here, I watched how comics would go out half the year. They won a TV show for a little while. They went to time working out. You tour the special.

I get into it. All of a sudden, now I'm starting to sell tickets. And it's not like that. These agents just put you on a fucking on a fucking skateboard. And one week you're in Dayton and two weeks later you're in Cleveland. And you're like, so they're giving you the recipe

for failure. It's until you grab the bull by the horns and go, I'm doing it like Sinatra. A la Sinatra, my fucking way. I don't give a fuck with you. Let's go. I don't see, you know what I'm saying? I do this my way. I don't care about, you know, right now

I'm sitting there and I'm like, well, I was disappointed for two minutes I didn't hear back from Netflix. Yeah. Like, that's how disappointed I was. Great company. They gave me a great opportunity. I don't know how to...

A friend of mine had an expression growing up. And he used to always say sometimes it's better to want than to have. When I got the call for the degenerate special, I just agreed to it and I didn't think it out. Right. And it really pissed me all. that I would be so careless at the age of 55.

Right. I've been careless all my life, and I thought out every fucking move, you know. When I heard that it was being shot in a pool room, you know, there was just so many things that weren't who I am. Right. But I didn't give a fuck. Right.

I had my mouth open, like, one of those Michael Jackson accuses. I was going to Australia, and I was staying next to him. That's why I sympathize with those Michael Jackson accusers, because you wanted it. One minute you wanted. You're excited. You don't suck a dick on the way. That's why Harvey Weinstein in my world,

he might go to rape. He might go to jail if he raped somebody. I want Harvey Weinstein to go to jail. But unless you lived in L.A., you won't send Harvey Weinstein to go to jail. Because people will. There's a woman out there that's 26, that's gorgeous, and she will get on their hands and knees

and suck us. 60-year-old cock that tastes like that tastes like death. I mean, you know, I mean, I smell my dick sometimes. It smells just fucking god-offal at 56. I can't imagine what woman

would, you know, suck a dick to get put in a movie. It will be done out here. Oh, an Oscar winning movie. It's a shortcut. It's a shortcut. Yeah. It's a shortcut. People love shortcuts.

And I don't even blame them. I don't know. You cannot blame them. Because they don't care about the art, they just want to be famous. So you're just going to do whatever makes you famous. And what happened to me was when they called and said Netflix, Netflix, everybody's like Netflix, you're going to be so lucky.

It wasn't until I got there that I said, I didn't think this out right. Yeah. I didn't think this out right. And then I went on stage and had a bag of dicks. Yeah. And I was even more pissed on average. Because it's like if I'm going to eat one,

it's going to be on my term. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there was people that called it that said, If you watched your Uncle Joey walking off, you can see he was mad. Oh, I was livid. Yeah. I was livid. I had my friends and my family there, so I really couldn't throw chairs and act like a fucking gorilla.

Yeah. Like I would have at 23. I went back to my room that and then. I didn't fucking sleep. Yeah. And it's like I knew all the mistakes I had made. I had made a mistake by taking it. Yeah.

Six week notice. Yeah. You got to get a set ready, man. This guy tells me because I love your comedy except when you're working on something. Yeah. It's the truth. Don't shoot me when I know I'm getting shot. I don't want to put on a matching shirt.

I don't want to fucking dye my hair. I don't want to put on makeup. That's not a special. Yeah. A special is when I don't know what the fuck you're doing. Well, that's when you get something special. That's what special. I film every show in the road for that reason,

because I don't know what's going to happen at each show. So we film every show. We'll film five shows, six shows, seven, eight shows on a weekend, hoping that we get one two minute clip. Think about how crazy that is. But we do it because that one two minute clip or five minute clip is electric. I mean, there was a moment

where there was some guy in the audience who had clearly murdered someone and I was roasting him, not knowing that he murdered someone and then it kind of comes out that he murdered. And I can't back off now. You know what I mean? Because then I'm pussy.

So I got to keep going. We got to find it. And it's like that can never be recreated. So we got to film every show to get that clip. Everyone. And that's, I think, where you end up getting the magic. I think when you're just trying to crunch numbers and trying to bring all these big fucking cranes,

the production value into these theaters. I think that now, if there's one thing that I maybe helped out with comedy is like ushered in the expectations of the viewer. The viewer is fine with a comedy club now. That's where all of us put our clips. And I think that's where, you know, I maybe put out there in the world that that's where comedy should be seen. So now that it's okay to do in a comedy club,

not a fucking Carnegie Hall. I can't stand that shit. Just put the fucking cameras up, let them go, don't tell anybody. Didn't they do one of the greatest specials at Dangerfields? Oh, God. Didn't they do one of the greatest specials at Dangerfields? Many, several at Dangerfields.

Several. And it's like... And that club sucks. Today. Bro. There's nobody in there. Holy shit. Nobody's in there, though.

It's too comfortable. They're like sagged back in the seats. But that's such. nice people. You want to know what Weinstein's dick smells like. Go to Dangerfields. I love it. Take a whiff of that couch. Every time I go to New York, I perform a danger.

It's sad, man. Out of respect. It's a different cultural. There's a different time. Where do you work out? I work out at New York Comedy Club and the Comedy Cellar. Those are like the two main places that I'll go to. And New York Comedy Club has two clubs now.

And they're just fucking killing it, man. they're doing so good obviously the seller yeah 4th street right i did go and then there's my favorite is the one i'm 24 and it's a little black box room i mean seats tops 100 people but like for me it's you can connect to every single person in the room you're in the back corner if somebody picks up their cell phone to like look text mention someone in the back corner i can snap and hey like everybody's locked in and that's what i love most especially i'm working out because i don't know where the beats are yet so I can't have you guys getting distracting everything like that let's let's let's we're gonna go through this together and I just fucking love working out and are you doing the road a lot

these days yeah man it's been good every week uh I was doing almost every week for a while I was doing almost every week for a while and then um October I'll probably take a chill I'll go Moscow then we got Australia and then and then uh we come back and you know do these theaters and and the theaters are awesome don't get me wrong it's like an amazing like honor to be able to do the theaters, you know, but there is part of it that gets lost in this, these big theaters. I think so, too. Right? It's like.

I like doing it. Listen, I'm in a, I got a kid. Dude, I get it. You want to come back. I don't, I just, I just, I don't have, I don't have what I had 20 years ago. I don't have four weekends. I know. I get it.

I wish I could go out for 16 weekends. I know. And come up with a new hour. I get it. Every fucking 32 weeks, you got two hours. I don't blame you. That is a dream. I still remember going I got no time yeah and you go on the row for eight weeks

come back with 30 minutes bro that's it it it is so dude and it's like you said the journey like I remember when I released views from assist the last special right we staggered a release so I released one piece every week for like six weeks I had I had maybe 15 minutes of material that wasn't in the special so it would but I had shows booked so was like, I need to fill 30 fucking minutes. And that's where the crowdwork special comes from is I was forced to go to sold out shows on the road and like, you better be funny. Like, we've been waiting for a while for you to come to Orlando.

And it was like, okay, I got to make this a fucking event. And, you know, what do they say? It's like, what is it? Adversity introduces a man to himself, you know? So it's like, put in that situation, it was like, okay, I got to come up with an hour. I got to figure this fucking thing out. And yeah, we did it, man. See, I don't want to do that.

I don't want somebody to call me and say, okay, you're going to shoot a special February 18th. Yeah. That ruined me. I chose to release it, though. That was my choice. That's what I want to do. Yeah. I want to just put a camera out, tape it and go, you know what?

We're going to talk. I have ideas for you, man. This is what will fucking work right now. Yeah. And you know what, man, I'll tell you what. I don't mind putting a special on YouTube. I always said it. Put a special on YouTube.

You get two million hits. Maybe YouTube will do the next special with you. And even if they don't, like, you could get an advertiser for this podcast to sponsor it. That's what I'm trying to, like, open people's mind to. It's like, if I got, you know, I think we're over 500,000 views already in less than a week for the crowdwork special. You know what I mean? Like, that hits a million. Like, I could talk to advertisers.

It's like, you pay X amount of dollars to. to have you know Jimmy Fallon's audience which is smaller than a million watch his show for one advertisement it's like now this you could pay my devout fans and we know that there are certain things that they're like you could target them with something put the money up what do you want for a million people they fuck with me heavy to see your brand what does that mean because once we start doing that once we start going direct to the advertiser shit it's over

it's like we don't need anybody we literally need nobody we need HBO or Netflix etc because they're the ones that have the money but once we get the money direct and nobody's chopping it why would you go anywhere else why would you go anywhere else

does it make any sense no I think I mean that was part of the reason why I dropped the same day as Chappelle like I've released it the same day of Chappelle because I was like that's a $20 million special and I wanted to put out

especially was zero million dollars and I wanted you to watch them back to back and I wanted you to tell me I want to true I want you to truly watch them back to back and then just be like wit did I laugh 20 million dollars more that's brilliant shit

I just I wanted to sell cocaine in schools I tried to sell weed when I was in Spain man but I wasn't good Did you deliver papers in grammar school No but my parents just worked their fucking asses off man My folks my dad just worked relentlessly. Listen, there's people,

look, relentlessly, dude. The beauty about comedy is, like me and we were talking last night, and he's like, I went on and the guy, I go,

you do comedy every night. Yeah. The first eight years, you do comedy every day. Yeah. Then I think I did comedy every night for the first 13 years. So I got the longest yard,

I did comedy every night. I didn't know what else you did. Yeah. You just do comedy. Yeah. And then you start doing different things. And it basically takes about 10 to 12 years

to figure out how to work smart we spin our wheels we really do yeah you know when I call you and go hey what are you doing listen I got a gig up in Yonkers that pays $22 yeah yeah yeah I got a gig at the 5th Street comedy New York comedy club and by the time you're going to yonkers you're like what the fuck did I commit myself to I'll never do this again yeah you'll do it but you'll never do it again. Sure.

So what I tell people is that you learn how to work smart. Yeah. I'm still working 60 hours a week instead of 70, but it's 60 hours that I'm getting 60 hours out. It's not spinning your wheels. The first 10 years of comedy, no matter what I tell you, the first eight years of comedy, it means nothing. You're spinning your wheels. There's, I think a lot of people often get confused with, like, doing a set and like, as if that's work.

you know because a lot of people like I went up tonight I did some work or like I tried to forward my career it's like did you did you do the same jokes you know work because in my mind I think you just work in your ego which is necessary we all need like a really good show every once a while to like make sure that we feel like we're supposed to do it but like there's a lot of other work that could happen you know it's like did you try out that new bit did you try that the new tag like I would be so upset of myself if I didn't prepare something for the set that I Like if I just did the set that kills and didn't add a tag or like think about a new joke or forgot to do it. I was like I just fucking wasted that set because let's be honest.

And my boy Chrissy D point is out to me. The waitresses are making more money than us at the club. Like when we're doing spots in the city, whether it's at the store, the improv, the seller, New York Comedy Club, the waitstaff's making more money than us. So if you're not working on your act, you're losing money. my Uber costs more there and back than I'm going to make at the club. So I got to do something outside of just work on the bits I know work

to get for it to be worth my money. Right? Like, I'm at a point in my career where like just getting up at a club doesn't validate me. Like I, you know, I'm selling out theaters, right? So it's like, this is for me to work on bits. That there, if I'm not working on shit

and I'm not trying to get better at jokes, even if it's tweaking the order of one little thing, add in tag, if I don't add something, when I go up in the city, I wasted that fucking set. And I took that set away from a young comic. This should be doing it. Because what the fuck should I be doing?

I should be taking some young comics time so I could stroke my ego. That's the same way. It's so funny how I just go out Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays now. And I try to do two sets in the comedy store. I don't have time to drive over around the city. I don't. I really don't. You know what works.

So I wanted this shit. Metal sharpens metal. There we go. After the Netflix debacle, metal sharpens metal. I'm going to go to the store, but I'm going to work it differently. I'm going to do a different set in the original room, different set in the main room, both nights, done. If I go on the main room and that joke didn't work,

I'm going to tweak it before I go on the original room, or vice versa. I'm working, you know, once a month. I don't want to go on the road every month. I love looking at my daughter. I've seen a lot of people who have spun their lives on the road. The road is, for nothing. It could be a road to something or a road to nowhere. I want it to be to gain momentum, little spots.

You don't need to go out January, fucking 11th. They haven't gotten their fucking credit card. You know what I'm saying? There's weeks that you're just fighting against the wind. You know, this weekend, if you're a comic and you're on Labor Day, I applaud you if you took the week, but ain't nobody going to come, especially on the East Coast. They're all grilling outside, fucking wait for Hurricane, Donnie Osmond, whatever.

You know, there's certain weeks that. that we don't have the time. You know, there's no reason for me to work Father's Day, Mother's Day, Easter. I got a family. Also, if you don't have a life, you don't have comedy. You don't have comedy. Yes. You could tell the motherfuckers that don't have a life, because the Biss got no soul.

It's like, I don't know, like, I imagine even having a daughter, that changes your comedy. He's like, you've got more soul, your soul expanded. Listen, the first 10 years of comedy, I had nothing. I had no responsibility. And the comedy reflects it, right? I have a page. I had a a fucking car that had no bumper, no insurance, no brakes.

Yeah. But the love of comedy overrode everything. Sure. It usually does. It overrides everything, you know. But the comedy itself needs life, man. Like, even like getting in a relationship, getting out of a relationship, like, you could tell when like a comic has just experienced something because there's something for them to

fucking chew on. And then you can tell the guys who like, you know, they just don't have anything. So they can write really clever. jokes, but there's nothing behind it. There's no passion. Like, I would rather hear you rant about a horrible Uber ride than hear

some guy's clever Uber joke. And he can have more punchlines in his joke, but I know you felt that way about the Uber ride. I know you really felt these fucking things about the guy in the front seat and he didn't move the passenger seat back so you could have, like, whatever the fuck that is. He was talking on the

phone in Arabic, and I kept thinking he was talking with me. You ever going those Uber's? You're like, what? And they're like, who the fuck are you talking to? You haven't shut the fuck up since the airport. Who the fuck are you on the phone? Who wants to talk to somebody when they're on the phone for an hour? It's like black people.

You ever see black people? They're going to get pizza, and they're on the phone with somebody. Still on the Bluetooth. I'm the type of motherfucker that they get your pizza. No. Let me get two slices. Pepperoni. Yeah, I told that bitch.

Yeah, let me get a, let me get a, let me get a, whatever the fuck they're eating, then they have a conversation. And that person is still on the fucking phone. I'm like, hey, hey, conduct your business. I got to go off the phone. I ain't got to time to listen to every fucking word you're saying. Get the fuck off the phone.

You see what I'm saying? How much more enjoyable is it? It's like, that's just me. Maybe that's the type of comedy that I tend to be a fan of. But like, when I know somebody's passionate about it and it's real, that's better than any, like, a little clever joke. And I think that's the people who tend to, like, have, like, cult-like fan bases. It's the motherfuckers where like you actually feel them.

You actually like when they talk about something, you know they mean it. That's their POV and it's like, okay, I can latch on to this guy. And that doesn't have to be always an angry person. Theo's got it. Theo's got it. There's something about Theo that you latch on to him. He's vulnerable, right? And then there's guys who are passionate.

Like fucking Kinnison had it. It's just a thing that when it's authentic and there, people gravitate. And when it's not, you know, you better have a. billion dollar network behind you dog you better have a because you're going to need it because the people ain't going to back you it's like running for president man i was telling somebody that day in the time i've been here i could count eight comics who they've tried very hard to make a star and it's never worked oh it doesn't work they've stood behind them in every opportunity I can sit here and tell you seven names

I don't want to embarrass nobody And they're still around And they're successful And they're not Dave Chappelle successful But nobody pushed Dave Chappelle On our throats You can't make a star We fell in love with Dave Shepard

For the Chappelle show And before the Chappelle show For a lot of people don't know it He was still around 20 years before that Busting his hump He got dirty fucking developmental deals I still remember working with him In 97

I still remember seeing him at the Boston Comedy Club 94 with Robin Hood Men in Tights 93. Yeah. That's how, so I started in 91 and 93 Chappelle was already huge. Like he was with Jay Moore that night and Nick DePaolo.

And I was like an open mic and going, holy fuck. A young prodigy. You know, he studied Barnett. You know, Charlie Barnett was his main guy at the fucking park. And, you know, so I don't want people to think that Greer Barnes,

Tony Woods. You can see the influence on those guys on Chappelle, man. And he was such a student of the game that he was able to, like, you know, pick up these amazing, you know, tools and resources from some of the most brilliant comics. I mean, like, Greer and Tony are some of the best comics that have ever lived. Like, I mean, watching Tony Woods is an experience, man. It really is. Like, there are a few people that can, you know, when you see that.

Where's Tony live? Everywhere. This motherfucker could be performing. in like the living room of some prince in Saudi Arabia. He could be in India. He could be in the Bahamas anywhere. He's everywhere and nowhere at the same fucking time. He's Batman, dude.

Tony Woods is motherfucking Batman. And we don't know where he is, but he's going to pop up. And he'll deliver a set. When you watch Chappelle in the last special or even the Bird Revelation, like, tell these long, beautiful stories and create such a calm and ease where you're just like, all right, I'll listen. Even if I'm not laughing, I'm listening. I'm curious.

Like for me, that's the school of Tony. Like, Tony is, I can listen to Tony talk for two hours straight. Just tell stories for two hours straight. Comfortably. I'm a comic. Eventually, I'm like, I'm out of here. It is the most fun that you'll just, it's just calm. There's certain guys that are going to, like, pound you to death with punchlines, you know?

But he's the type of guy that just creates this amazing calm and then rewards a calm with laughs and the fucking. Yeah, dude, it's great, man. I love those guys that say, well, you need three punchlines every six minutes or no. Just be funny. You're not a scientist, bro. Be yourself. Andrew, it's a real pleasure to get you in here. Dude, thank you, man.

What you're doing is world class. I hope that a lot of comics are watching you and cheering for you. Oh, so too, man. Because you're one of the airs of Lenny Bruce. Okay. God bless, man. I consider myself one of the airs of Lenny Bruce. We're very lucky.

All the shit you were talking about you. I would love to do a special and see a chandelier fall. And the guy do 10 minutes on the chandelier falling. You know, that's what I live for. Yeah. But the networks, you know, oh, it's got to be polished. Contrives. You know, and I've seen people nitpick specials over years, and it's for no reason.

The bottom line is it funny or not? Is it real, man? Well, the lighting wasn't... It's the fuck. Shut the fuck up. It doesn't matter, dude. And you prove that all wrong. You forgiven all those motherfuckers that said, well, you need to spend $250,000 and get a crane and 10 midgets to dance and a long opening.

I even loved your opening. You're talking to some black guy. He's selling your nickel bag. You get up and you go do your thing. And you went right out there. Attack the fuck, the Korean. And I'm watching all this. Payback.

This guy doesn't give a fuck. That's why he's doing what he's doing. And the audience he has is reading this. That he's going against whatever comedy central things, whatever Netflix things, whatever HBO thought of comedy, whatever true TV things. I don't know what the fuck they're thinking. You know, there's like either of the Viceland,

shoot yourselves. Yeah. There's like eight networks that you would say. There's like eight networks that you would say. You think about it. Yeah. You really think about how many networks in your heart you would really want to go on. It's tough, man.

In your heart that you would go, I really want to go over there. But if you're going to put me after, who the fuck wants to go on Comedy Central? There's nothing there. There's nothing there. There's nothing there. They're going to have business. And they go deeper and deeper into the hole. With every show, like really?

That's your answer. Oh, shit. There's eight guys doing tremendous podcast. And this is the fucking moron. You picked for a laia It's fucking mind-boggling It's mind-boggling Fucking crab feast is doing better than most of your fucking shows

What's his name? Ryan's a Ryan, man Sicklin's a fucking savage Put him on a fucking show at 11 o'clock And let's have three fucking normal guests But the people that they keep putting on And shoving down your fucking throat And you're supposed to like it

And one day you're like, I don't even What do I like this fucking person for? they're doing everything for me to like them. I like people that do things for me not to like them. Like you, you're not supposed. Because I don't care if you like me or not. He's not on Comptly Central. He's better.

He's on his own fucking time, his own universe. Where can people find your brother? My YouTube. YouTube.com slash DeAndrew Shultz. You check the specials out there. We put up stand-up every single week and a few different shows. We've got this travel show on there dropping in where I do stand-up in each city that we go on tour in.

And another show called Insighter. jokes was pretty cool where like we a few comics come together and we all bring a joke of ours it's like too divisive piss off the crowd and then we all kind of like work it out and then you see us try it on stage later so i'm just trying to treat it like you know the comedy that i want to see in the world i'm just trying to put on my comedy channel and you have a website yeah yeah the and andrewshelts dot com and you could get all like tickets for shows and that kind of stuff there and i got a couple podcasts uh brilliant idiots through charlie mary the god and flagrant too with archa singing in real life Kaz and shouts to Alex Media and Mark Gagnon, my guys who are doing all this

great work. So, I think it's possible, man. You're doing God's work by letting people know that they could do it. Go out there and do it, man. When I started this podcast, I start this podcast, not to, we all put our pants on one leg at a time, but I really start this podcast to let you know that the rules were meant to be broken. There's no rules. Facts. Just because I was a felon.

I was supposed to give up. Uh-huh. I was supposed to give up for half of this. disability, get a check and tell people the rest of my life, I can't get a job. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I'm a felon. There's a felony and nobody would hire you. If you go into it, looking at it like that, that's what you'll find.

That's what you'll find. Yeah, yeah. We got no rules, bitch. The only rules are what your fucking rules. There we go. That's what matters. Do not forget. I'm at the Majestic Theater at 13th in Dallas, a few tickets and left.

San Antonio's gone. I'm also doing a workshop at the comedy store, the 18th to the 17th in the belly room. I'm going to start doing a work. one-man show once a month of the third Wednesday of the month. Check Comedy Store.com for details. And September 27th at the motherfucking Chicago theater. Real quick, I want to give a shout out to the sponsors. The church of what's happened now is brought to you by, My Bookie.

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