The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #745 - Joey Alvarado

Episode Date: December 19, 2019

Joey Alvarado, a Jiu Jitsu coach who holds a Black belt under Roger Machado and the creator of the kettle-jitsu program, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio. This podcast is brought to you by:   CBD Lion - For all of your CBD needs, from shatter to gummies, go to www.CBDLion.com and use code CHURCH for 20% off.    Athletic Greens - Get 20 free travel packs worth $79 when you go to www.athleticgreens.com/church   Policy Genius - Policy Genius helps you compare and find the right home, auto, life or disability insurance for you. Check them out at www.policygenius.com  

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Kick this fucking meal, Lee. It's Thursday. The 19th of December, you got five more shoplifting days. Make them count, cock suckers. Oh, yeah. A little slow and easy for you. Out of respect, little Chris Cornell. You got Professor Joey Arborado.

Yeah, yay. The Christ killer. And you're up to Joey. Nice. Nice. Best singer of all time, in my opinion. Nice. Professor, what's happening, you bad motherfucker?

Man, just doing my thing. Those slinging kettlebells at 5.30 in the morning. Always, man. Four, three days a week over there. I teach 20 classes a week. Jesus Christ. That's my full-time job. So, like, you know.

So you teach, you teach seven kettlebell classes a week. I teach Saturday. No, I teach six. Six. So, like, I teach one a day over there. And then the rest is all jiu-jitsu. So Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, it's 5.30. Mm-hmm.

Tuesday, it's at night. It's that night. It's at night, 6.30. Saturday. 10 a. Yeah. Good, good, good. And then the jistu-old.

You know, we have a ton of people over there. So I teach the rest as all jih Tzu classes. Then I have a couple private clients as well. You still do the basics. I do most of the fundamentals. My morning jih Tussi classes are like all levels. And then at noon I do a fundamentals class while Professor Alberto teaches the advance.

And then in the evening I do a couple of fundamental classes as well. So most of the time, I do most of the fundamentals. Me and Josiah. You know Josiah. And your boy, Marco, too. Marco, he's teaching some of the fundamentals. So the fundamentals are now 6.30 and 7.30. 830 is now like a fucking expert class.

Well, they're splitting it up now because we have a lot more black belts now. And we have more students, so we have to accommodate everybody, man. Like, you know, we have people who are advanced but can only train at like 830. You know what I mean? So, I mean, it's good. So we split the classes up now. So we just have all kinds of classes. And you've got to go on the schedule.

It's just too many to talk about. It is. It's crazy. I saw his graduation class a couple of weeks ago. And I got to hand it to him, man. It was insane, man. It's fucking insane. It's insane how many students we have there now. It's fucking dope.

And when it comes to Burbank, North Hollywood, all this up here, he's got the main lunchtime class. Man, you know what? Honestly, dude, I don't know another gym in L.A. that has as many students as us. John Jock. Does he? I've never been. John Jont.

I would love to train with John Schott. John Joss. I would love to train with John Jod. I got my black belt from his brother. brother, Hajer. John Jack's got a great lunchtime class up there. I'm talking about in general altogether, though. It's crazy because our legacy is like popping from like five in the morning to like cook in the evening, man.

It's crazy. It's amazing. Like, Professor Alberto has really done a, like, created kind of like a little mecca of jiu-jitsu and fitness out there now. So we have everything. I still remember when he was, when Justin Fortune was his boxing games. That's how I. I never met Justin Fortune, but I know a lot of people who have trained. That's how I, that's how I connected with.

Alberta and New Mexico when I was shooting the longest yard God damn and then I connected with him That was a long time ago because he's man New Mexico

2004 We used to all go Me Ivan Salabary Bob Sapp Ivan Salabary I remember that guy Bob Sam Maurice you say Bob Sapp Morris Smith

We would all go to Alberto's because it was close to the hotel I bet you half the people listening right now don't even know who Mori Smith is Yeah just this badass kickbox

Oh man He was the first guy to solve the puzzle, man. Like, you know, like he learned how to scramble back to his feet. Instead of, like, getting to a jiu-jitsu match, if somebody took him down, he would just wait to stand up and then kickbox their ass. Remember when he fought Mark Coleman?

You know, I didn't fight. I didn't watch fighting, anything then. Oh, man. That's what I thought Joe Rogan was crazy. You didn't even know Joe Rogan back then? Yes. I knew Joe. I know Joe since 98, and they would talk to me.

Then I met Eddie through Joe. And I would get in a car with them, And I'm thinking about snorting cocaine, my dick sucked. And they're up there talking about jujitsu sweeps. And I'm like, what the fuck is the jujitsu sweep? I came from the 70s where you swept. Was this before Joey Karate? This is before Joey Karate and this is before Eddie Abu Dhabi.

This is before Eddie even dreamt to go in Abu Dhabi. So Joe and Eddie were training partners. Okay, at John Jock's up back down. And they would, that you couldn't show. shut them up. You couldn't shut them up. Back then, they were relatively new to it. Eddie was already Eddie, like he was a brown belt.

And Joe was like a blue belt. And Joe went every day, and that's all they talked about. And it was fucking annoying as fuck. But it was educational. It was like being around something. And then they would talk about, you know, I was raised in traditional martial arts.

Me too. I was raised in a time when Bruce Lee was, you know, that was, you know, the ghee and you ran on the streets, you know, and you fucking broke boards and you hit the fucking, the fucking, did all that. The little pads that they never hold. And you weren't real if your knuckles weren't. Oh, man. Busted up. Oh, yeah, yeah.

I had callous. Like if you're ira cow. I had calluses because whatever that fucking thing is called. The makiwara. Machiwara. You know, you know, it's funny you say that is, I had a pleasure of training next to Dan Anasanto, you know, Dan Asano was? Like, I did a Muay camp, like, back in the mid-90s, and he was telling those Bruce Lee's stories.

And one of the things he told us about Bruce Lee is that he never stopped working out. And he said he had one of those Machi Rowers, or whatever you call it, in the fucking car. He'd just be fucking hitting that motherfuckerucker in the car. Or he'd be bouncing Brandon off his abs, doing ab workouts when he was watching TV. He's like, he'd never stop fucking working out, man. But, yeah, like, my master used to have wooden floors, so we used to do our push-ups on her knuckles. so then I had fucking calluses on my first two knuckles and I mean that shit would like strike fear

and people people would like look at my knuckles and be like That was it you had to have your knuckles fucked up Yeah yeah yeah I grew up under that OG shit grew up under that tent And then I got out of karate at 16 And I went a different direction Then I met Rogan like at 36 or something And they're talking about this you have seen

I put it on and this fucking tank habit Who looks like he hasn't stopped eating cheeseburgers in 20 years against some other guy that looks like just got out of prison. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, this is fucking disgusting, you know. And like I think I watched two. Remember that there weren't, I was living in Denver.

When all those UFCs would start, only Colorado let you get. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure back then. So my friends wouldn't shut up about it. And like I said, I watched one time I saw some big fat guy in like a body suit. And I saw some guy in like prison fucking stripes. And I was like, this isn't martial arts. This is a fucking joke. And they would talk about it continually.

You know, our relationship grew his friends. Eddie went to Abu Dhabi opened up to Hammer House, his first school. And then he opened up. Was that with Mark Coleman? No, no, no. He opened up on Santa Monica. I don't know what it was. What are you listening to me for?

Bombs. Oh, Legends. Bomb squad. You're right. Damn Lee. He opened up Bomb Squad. And then they moved to LaBreya and between Hollywood and sunset. that, next to that disgusting Thai restaurant where I went in there one time with them.

And while we were eating, I wasn't eating. Is that when he partnered up with, like, Boss Routin and Randy Couture? No. He bought, yes. Legends. Yeah, because I started up with Chris. Chris Riley. Wasn't it Chris Riley?

He used to coach Rampage. Yeah, he was a Muay Thai coach. Moit Thai coach. I'm pretty sure. You're so upset about this. Ever, you've talked about this Thai restaurant for nine years. He hates them of the Thai restaurant. Because they were eating Thai food.

I was next door and I was minding my own business. So I lived on the corner of that school. Oh, yeah? You used to live right down there? I lived in Hollywood. I lived between Hollywood and Sunset on Selma. And they were nice. I had nothing to do early.

And I would walk to whatever that was on the corner there. The Thai restaurant? No, 10th Planet. Oh, 10th Planet. Next to it was the Thai restaurant. And one day I go, where's that? And they're like, they're next door eating Thai food. And I go next door, I sit down.

They're eating that disgust fucking waiters with slippers on and shit, dry feet. I'm fucking getting aggravated. And all of a sudden, in the middle of my aggravation, just to compliment what I was thinking, a roach fell from the ceiling onto the table. And it landed on its back, so it was little claws. And I said, I told you, motherfucker, is not to eat this filthy food. And I got up and walked out. I got up and walked out.

And that was my whole. that was the whole, and I was sitting there going, that fried rice looks good, I can't do it. I'm breaking my own. You're like real particular about that kind of shit. I like Chinese. I'm with the Chinese.

They were here first. The Chinese were here first. When I got here from Cuba, there was Chinese restaurants everywhere. All of a sudden Thai and Sudami Ethiopian food. I don't know. I don't know what you're talking about.

I love Thai food. Anytime I got to take my shoes off, that ain't a restaurant. That's a stink feather. You got a bunch of white people with stinky feet that I haven't showered all. Oh, let's take our shoes off.

You take your fucking shoes. I know what my fucking feet smell like. I ain't taking my shoes off because he's going to get it out of you know while you're eating. It's like trying to eat while somebody's fart. You're trying to eat when somebody just farted a brown one in the air. It's that light shit, so that's how long I know, Eddie. So when they would talk about jujitsu, then they would get to the point where they would travel in packs. And we would go do comedy, and after comedy, they would clean out.

the fucking front and Eddie would wrestle somebody from the staff that was like a purple belt in Arizona I don't know how many nights Tate Tate Fletcher Tate it would be me

Eddie red band Ari Tate Duncan and Joe paid for Ari and Duncan to take Jiu-Jitsu so everybody was taking Jiu-Jitsu except me and they'd be out in that hallway

fucking fighting to the debt with furniture I remember the Tempey Improv one night It was fucking tremendous. And then when we go to San Francisco, little Denny would show up. I know little Denny when he was too young to come to the clubs. He was 16.

He's the one that used to run 10th planet San Francisco. I still remember him being a 16-year-old kid and I sneak in him into the back door. And me going on stage, bring him Rogan up, and going back to the San Jose Green Room, and they'd be wrestling. Shoes would be off. And they'd be ripping themselves.

Yeah, they were ripping themselves apart. When I first got into jih Tjitsu back in, man, I don't know, like mid-90s in South Carolina. There was no jihiscus in South Carolina. I just have to drive to Virginia Beach to train with a blue belt. And then I'd go back and get one of my taekwondo buddies or hop-kito buddies and show them what I knew. And then we'd fucking find a piece of carpet somewhere or wherever to fucking just train wherever, man, because, you know, there was no mats. Or I would go to a jiu-o gym or something like that where they had mats and just roll with those cats like that. you know so that's when you're so enthusiastic about it you don't fucking give a fuck you just train

wherever you just can't can't stop thinking about it especially like if you've been a traditional martial artist like us and then you know you have black belts in these martial arts and then you're getting choked out by jiu jizu people you're like what the fuck it's just like you know yeah it just eliminates karate and all that shit wow man so then that i remember i was just obsessed and just roll any time you could you know but now i've been doing it for 30 years so it's before i hurt myself calm down a little bit but i still love it Jiu Jitsu. Before I hurt myself I had enrolled for about two weeks. I just do privates with this guy. He's a little older and I mess around with him. It got to the point where you know when I went to Alberta was I loved that shit. I just couldn't get to this couple positions. My breathing. But Jiu Jitsu opened up my eyes to how bad a shape I really was. Like it opened up my eyes to it opened up my eyes to the fighter flight response. Which We know what happened.

I used to be a criminal. Yeah. So my fly-to-flight response used to be top-notch. That's where you live on. Yeah, yeah. When I put a gun to your ribs, you got fly-the-fons. Fly-the-fight like a motherfucker.

You know what I'm saying? Like, when I kicked down a door, and I'm looking, and I know for a fact, Professor Joey has a keyhole in his house. And I'm searching through shit, you know, your flight-to-fight response is there. You learn how to adjust to that. Sure, sure.

You go deaf. If you're really a fight-old. fucking real guy, you go deaf. If I know Joey parks the car at seven and walks down, whatever, to go get the train over here in North Hollywood, and me and Leah are going to jump you by whatever, those three minutes before you get there. If I do my job, right, I should be going deaf.

I should hear your steps coming very softly before he had with his stick. Yeah, because what's that adrenaline starts kicking in. Adrenaline is a fucking crazy thing, man. You know what got me to help my fly the fight? squatting. Squatting? Like, what do you mean? Heavy weights.

I almost quit there and I go, I can't. I have to tackle this problem. Yeah, you got to squat for three minutes straight. Yeah, man, you got to control your breathing, man. And you have to control your breathing. That's why I tell it, like, when it comes to adrenaline, like, I remember my first fight, my first professional fight, it was in T.J. And, and, uh, they had us all in one room, man.

We're all like, what the fuck? My opponents over there were like, what's going on here, man? And then I had this, my friend Juan, his girlfriend was like, how do you feel? How do you feel? Are you going to win? Are you going to do this? And I was just feeling waves of adrenaline.

Whom? And it was like, I felt like I was just going to like fucking flip out, man. And then my instinct kicked in and I started controlling my breathing. Like controlling. Because if you don't control your heart rate, then your adrenaline will work against you. You know what I mean? That's why a lot of people like gas out when they go, when they find into you, because they let the adrenaline get to them and they blow their wad.

You know, you've seen that a hundred times in UFC. So, like, I remember I had to control my breathing. So it's all about your breathing, man. If you can control your breathing, then you can use your adrenaline to your advantage. You know what I mean? And then your instincts just kicking them. It's so funny. Like, I got jiu-jit, so I couldn't breathe.

Yeah. I got my nose fixed. So you got your nose fixed? Got my nose fixed. I mean, not for the vanity reasons. Not like I look like I'm going to breathe right. Would they go in their clean scar tissue out or what? Take everything out.

That old cocaine rock. Like one night It was crystallizing your nostrilizing Your nostril. Yeah, those Mexicans built a wall of cocaine In my nose. I couldn't fucking breathe. And then I got a Dr. Belisa

came on here. And she has a book called Breathe. And that really helped me. Now she recently sent me Breathing for athletes. I just have not had a chance to crack a fucking book in six weeks.

I'm supposed to write a review for her and I don't want to write a fake review. I want to read the book and get something out of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I had to read, like, you know, her thing is you breathe naturally. Okay, it was funny. My daughter came in here the other day,

and she's to punch that thing for three minutes straight. And when she finished, Dice goes, look at her. She's not even breathing at me. My daughter goes to Muay Thai, and he don't stop for 45 minutes. You know, they have head gear. Her breathing is the way you should breathe. You got to breathe out.

Something happens when you're 14 or 15, like a traumatic experience, and your breathing deteriorates. And this is what it says in her book, breathe. And this is why Boss Routen invented that breathing machine. So I connected him and her and boss together because they had something.

That breathing piece, when I'm typing, I put it in my mouth, you know, and it helps with my asthma. You just put it in and breathe as I'm typing. We're in an hour. I'll fucking breathe with that thing. And I'll do different exercises. There's people who do actually fucking do Jiu-Jitza with that thing.

Yeah. It really helps you because it closes the hole so you learn how they take more air in. Your lungs learn how to take more air. Yeah, because people will roll, man. And, you know, I have to remind people all the time. I was like, this, man, you got to breathe. That's where you're gassing out. I can see you're holding your breath.

Even like when I'm training with people with the kettlebells, you know, you got to make sure everybody's breathing. So there's different ways to, like, I mean, I've known about breathing since, like my my taekwondo man, how Keto Master taught us how to breathe, you know? You got to breathe into your nose out, slow your heart rate down, all that shit, you know? So it's important. Your mouth has to be circle. Your mouth is a very simple breathing technique. You just breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth slowly, really slow.

And then, like, you could do it different ways. You can breathe in, like, for five seconds, breathe out for five seconds. And then you can start increasing it. The way you slow your heart rate down is through your breathing. It's very simple. And people have different techniques and stuff like that. But I've been doing that forever, man. It works for me, you know.

First month I did Jiu-Jitsu. I would have to run outside and take my guitar ball. Yeah, man. Because it's different. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. You know who lives in anxiety? You get claustrophobic with a guy on it. Marco lives in anxiety.

Marco the purple belt. His anxiety is so bad when he gets on a plane he passes out. He would tell you that. No, no. And that's the point where I pass out. So it was something that was passed on from me, from my mother to me, and that my daughter has it. Oh, wow.

When she hurts herself and you pick her up, she loses consciousness. She got to shake her. Oh, wow. She just fell a couple weeks ago at the park off the zip line. And fuck in, she heard her back. I hit it pretty hard. And I had to pick her up and hold her. And I told her, just breathing out of your nose.

And I still, the other day, had to talk to her about anxiety. I'm trying to talk to her because she's having a problem with it. It's something, like, I didn't know what it was. There was no anxiety when I was 12. Yeah, people have anxiety for two reasons. You didn't know what it was. It's just a feeling that. but I get the man I give I live in anxiety what do you think happens to me five minutes before I go on stage

oh yeah that's normal though man because you're about to perform it's not normal it's not normal what I get you're supposed to have butterflies butterfly yeah and have a little bit of fear not the shit I get I get the shit that's telling me to quit like getting the car right now oh yeah you did enough yeah you know man I I I as many jiu jihsu matches in professional memory fights I have even like if I'm going to compete in a judici tournament. On the way there, I'm like, what the fuck am I doing? I'm like, what do I do? Oh, really?

You start, yeah, I start talking to myself. I'm like, listen, man, I'm like, Joey, what are you thinking? You've had 100 jujitsu matches. You know, Jiu Jitsu. What are you worried about? I'm like, I have to keep telling myself. But it did get really bad towards the end of my MMA career, though, because I was getting my ass kick, you know?

And after a while, it was just, the anxiety was getting to me to the point where I fucking looked like shit in the cage, and I just wouldn't fight. And I was just like, okay, I'm done. I had three losses in a row. But the anxiety with MMA got to the point where it was having a really negative effect on my fighting, you know? I wasn't like believing in myself. But Jitsu is a little bit different.

I know I'm not going to get punched in a fucking face and shit like that. I'm going to tell you what the secret is, Professor. Tell me. The secret is it's got to do a lot with breathing. Absolutely. But the secret is mindset. Absolutely, man. You know, like, for sure.

The secret is how you look at things. You know what? You know when I have a best set in my life? Two things. When I don't give a fuck, and when I'm having a good time. I love to come up with a joke on stage that insults you that much that I laugh.

Once I do that, I'm not going to lose. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. You know, the first two times I drove to Alberto's, I parked and I said, one of my crazy, I pulled away. It took a lot for me to walk into Alberta. I can imagine. When I walked into Alberto's, the fear was God.

For the first three months, it was like, I can't believe, I'm going to do this. But I had to turn my mindset around. I had to look at it as I was going to, A, have fun. Jiu-Jitsu is really fucking fun. When I'm on top of you, when I fart by mistake, how much do we laugh? And I'm like, now I got you profess me.

Get off me, you smell. You laugh. You know, like, what happens is you build it up too much. You build it up too much. That's what was happening to me. And you're like, what am I doing? I'm just fucking going here to learn. Oh, my God.

As I was putting my gear. and I'm thinking I'm going to get ahead of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. People do all the time. Trust me. I see, I saw like one girl one time and, you know, the gym's packed and she's just, she's like this in the gym holding her purse and I had it come up there. I was like, hey, you're okay.

She's like, I'm like, hey, it's okay. We're going to take care of you, man. We're just going to train, you know, like they get scared because it's intimidating and you're going into school with a bunch of fucking guys choking motherfuckers and shit. Like I get it, you know, but, but it's really up to the people at that gym to make you feel welcome. You know how many times I've had a fucking show? at 7 o'clock.

The car's going to pick me up at a quarter of the 7. I'm in a strange town. Pick a town. I'm in fucking Dallas. I have been on stage twice at the comedy store. I wrote all week

to prepare my mind. The day of the show, I actually sat down and wrote something opposite jokes to get creativity. And then an hour before the show, I look at my material, I make some lasting things.

Then I smoke a joint. I go in the shower and I sit for 30 minutes and that's where I get the you know like you start going home maybe I'll add that here Oh shit I put this here I bang one out you fucking dry off you get ready for the show Right then and there is where the fear starts from me So on the car ride to the gig once I get to the theater it's all pure fear Yeah yeah yeah I get it I like bro when I walk into the green room whether I got to walk 100 steps, 100 yards or 2 yards.

You got to hear my breathing when I walk. It feels like I'm about to have a heart attack. Yeah, so that's when you're really to start controlling your breathing. And right there is when I go. You got to regulate it, yeah. I start breathing. I sit, I drink water, and that's when I have to start doing what I...

You know, when I write that shit during the day on Facebook, that's how I actually think. Yeah. Because if I let me think, I would think I'm a pussy. I would say to myself, if my post would be, why get up, stay in bed, it's hard out there.

Nothing's going to happen. No, you got to think the opposite. Grab a knife, wash your balls. Somebody's going to suck your... Somebody's out there's out there's out there dying to suck a dick and you got tap on the menu. You know what I'm saying? But you're right about them.

The mindset is everything. One of the things like... What happened to me with the M.M.A. is, you know, I'd come out and I see a big crowd of fucking people and I was just like, oh, shit. And I would start fucking shit in my pants. You know, that's what started happening more towards the end of the career. And then I saw like Connor McGregor was commentating. They were showing like a montage of his spice and he was explaining what was going on.

And then he was like, you see right here he was coming out and everybody's booing him. He's like, you see that shit? They're all fucking booing me. He goes, I fucking love that because it's passion. And he goes, I use that. I turned that into positive energy. And I was like, yes, man. That's what you got to fucking do, man.

Because, you know, that's what you're there to fight, man. And he turned a negative into a positive. And I honestly think that's one of his strongest traits is his mindset. His mindset. I mean, the guy's a fucking billionaire now. Look what he fucking is done. You know what I mean? So that's something that I really admire about people who fight in the UFC and are successful.

Man, you know how strong? People don't look at what you have to go through mentally to fight like that. You're about to fight and fucking millions of people, man. it takes balls and it takes a lot of mental preparation and that's when your coach comes in your coach if you have a good coach they should be preparing you mentally me back then there were no MMA school so we're like self-trained and I had my students would be cornering me you know and they'd be just as

scared as me they'd be like oh shit you know but the mindset is it's it's key it's so funny how there's people who are good there's people who are you ever hear those guys that come into the UFC and it's like their first fight in the UFC and people like we've been hearing about these guys at the gym he's a America's top team just goes through everybody there's people who are gym fighters yeah yeah absolutely tremendous gym fighters that was me I was a gym fire and they're going to the fucking arena they see 2,000 people and they shit yeah man let me give let me flip it let me flip the art on you yeah I'm tremendous in the comedy store original room tremendous

I could go and then go nine out of ten times in a row because I know the nooks and crannies are. I'm great in the theater. I'm great at a comedy club. Tell me the shoot a special. I fall apart at the scene. I can't even think about it. But if I don't have to shoot, you know, comics

or a lot of young comics listening to this right now, you know how hard it is to get a tape? Like this whole career, this whole business is based on a tape. Sure, sure, sure. You can't get to the next level without a tape. There's people who are just very smart comics. Yeah, yeah.

I wasn't smart. There's comics who just buy a camera and a tripod and just film every set. And they just keep filming. They don't care if it's three people, many people. Sure. That's what they do. They watch the set. It's training.

They watch what they did wrong. But they're also hoping. And through time, you just get used to taping. Yeah, yeah. It was my mistake. I never taped as a young man. Yeah, it's just like any... I hate it.

Who wants to look at me? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want to look at me if you're me? I don't want to look at me. I don't ever want to see me up there. Yeah, you got to get better. That's how you get better. That's how you get better, though.

For sure. And that there's people that are young comics today, I guarantee out of all those people who have really good specials. Like, I can see like an Anthony Jesinick, being a guy that taped all his sets coming up and got so comfortable that it's just second nature. I can't do well for specials. I don't want to show a specials. special again but come see me

live I'll rock your fucking world and in my world that's what really matters what you need is somebody somebody like film a set without you knowing that's but who's filming without you knowing I don't know man that's the problem maybe I'll pay somebody off no who's filming without you knowing you can't take

a camera out of the comedy club no more you gotta get permission to put a camera in there if a car if a door guy sees you going like this they're going to come to you and ask you to leave so you always have to be prepared. That was my knock. I'm not good at specials.

And I'll tell you who that happened to. I'm not putting them down. I don't want you the people to hit him up on Twitter and say he was a shitty fighter. I heard he was the best jujitsu guy at what's the New York schools, not Marcelo. Henzzo school. David Branch.

I heard David Branch was beating people, throwing him through windows, armed barring people with one arm, fucking fighting people with with blindfolds, he can't catch a brain. He got beat up in the UFC. Yeah.

And he just got beat up last week. One fighting championship. Yeah, man. There's people who fall between the holes. Sure. I've always said that there's fight. I honestly feel like I was like that kind of fighter because I would go spar at gyms. And fuck people up.

And people would just automatically assume that I would just kill everybody. And then I would fucking like win one, lose one, win one, lose one. And it was just like it was like hot and cold, man. It was like, you remember Frank Trigg? Yeah. Remember he used to commentate in the private, right? I liked him because he was real blunt. And like when he would say something about a fighter in a cage,

he'd be like, man, this guy, 50% of the time, it looks like he should be fighting in the biggest MMA show in the world. And the other 50% of the time, he should be eating popcorn in the stands with the other motherfuckers, you know what I mean? And that's what we're talking about. And that's kind of how I was.

Like when I would win and when I wouldn't think about it and I would get in that zone, I would zip through people like that. Like, I would feel like I should be fighting UFC. And then another night, I would just like fall apart in there. I'm talking to my stuff. myself in the cage while I'm fucking clenched with the motherfucker and stuff like that.

You know what I mean? So you wouldn't be consistent. I was not consistent. I was not a consistent. Right. That's a fucking nightmare. It was. And like I said, I had three, three professional losses in a row.

And I was like, that's it. I'm done. Because what happens is when you win, man, you, it's such an amazing feeling, like fucking winning over a fight and somebody in the cage. And then people are coming up to you. You're that fucking man. They want your autograph. Like when I want a belt in Mexico.

And then you keep searching for that feeling again, man. That's why people stay, they don't retire soon enough, you know what I mean? They keep fighting and keep fighting because the feeling of winning is just fucking, it's, it's amazing. You know what I mean? It's crazy when you see a fighter that's done. It's crazy when you see a fighter or any professional athlete that's done. They don't know that. Yeah, yeah, they don't want to, they don't want to accept it.

They don't want to accept it. But they're done. And you feel bad for them. Yeah. I love when people say, well, I wish this guy for this guy from the UFC. Yeah, and you're like Somebody like BJ Penn, man You know, like he should have been retired a long time ago

Man, I hate seeing I'm like, why is he still funny? You don't want to see that. You don't want to see that. It's horrible. It's horrible. He lost seven in a row. Man, why is he still fighting?

You don't want to see that. There's no need for it. There's a time where you just switch off And there's yeah, because you can't have that fucking eye of the tiger forever, man. You just can't have it. But how do you, how do you? It's like, it's kind of,

I kind of understand it because if you have that mindset to be able to do it, like you can still have the mindset when your body's not there, so it's kind of hard to turn that mindset off, I would assume. Yeah, I mean, you will.

Well, mindset is also built from confidence. Sure. Mindset for a stand-up show or a wrestling match or a UFC fight is a different mindset than say how you look at things when you're going into them. You know, going to a gym for some people. It's really tough.

Sure. Going for a gym, it's tough for me sometimes. But I go in there looking at it like I'm going to eat pussy. You know, you're going to eat some pussy. Look at the gym. Whatever you have to do to turn into a positive. A positive. Like, kind of reg.

That's, that's. You know, I could never like, you know, like people consider me a funny guy at Legacy, you know, because I'm always trying to. I just like having a good time, man. But I could never see myself there. You should do comedy, man. I was like being up on stage like you do, man, I would shit my pants. What scares you about it? Like, if people aren't laughing, I get boot off the stage, you know, which is kind of silly.

I've gotten my ass kicked in front of thousands of people. But check this out. So I had, like, my first musical performance, you know. And I have a singing instructor, Estani, and I had like maybe five lessons with her. And I hadn't been able to, our times were matching up. So I hadn't had anything that I hadn't been able to have any lessons with her. So I hadn't seen her in a couple of months. And I was about to take a nap.

And she texts me, she was like, hey, I want you to perform in this performance at Genghis Cohen. My adrenaline went up. I was like, oh shit, I got a fucking, I was like, I have to do this because it's something that I've always wanted to do, you know? So I just fucking, man, I played those songs, but I did two original songs. I did them. I practiced them so much that it was like second nature to me. And then what happened was like you, like you were saying, it was like at Genghis Cohen, Alberta was there with his wife. and there was like 10 people there from Legacy.

And man, it just loosened me up so well. I did not even fucking get nervous, dude. But then I also had like a backing band. You know what I mean? So I had something to fall back on. Like with comedy, it was like, there's nobody back there like singing backup for you or anything like that.

So it's fucking like it's fucking crazy, man, you know? I don't want to end up like fucking Kramer from fucking Seinfeld. He fucking got heckled and then fucking lost it up there. Well, he said he went up there and said a bunch of fucking racial. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because the guy was heckling. I wonder where that motherfucker is today. It doesn't matter because I was looking on Google one time, and they always have like the top.

Those guys are still making fucking millions of dollars from Sintzville. They're making... He's at home counting his money. Yeah, but what good is if he's home with the windows, with the shades drawn? That's true, man. If you can't spend your money, every three black guys he sees goes,

aren't you the motherfucker that said, a nigga on stage at the Laugh Factory? You know, so it's got to be tough for something like that. Yeah, yeah, for sure. I mean, I respect, like Lewis E.K., I respect those guys. But then again, I know what it's like to come out of prison

and the words out that you've been in prison and people see you and they're like and you have to tell her like where have you been how was it in there? Oh it was fucking Disneyland it was Disney on ice how the fucking think it was in there I was in my fight and all that shit again but it's so weird how

the mindset of things you know even when I write comedy I used to sit down and go I don't know why I'm doing this because nothing good is going to come out of this now I look Now I look to write because I know the longer I sit down, I'm going to get one line.

I just need one line cemented in my head, and it'll stay in there forever. And one night, it'll come out, and I'll fucking die a laugh. And there you have it. But the mindset, especially, you know, when you, the mindset that I had between 94 and, like, until 2012, was completely different than the mindset I have towards comedy now.

Like it's a business for me now. Sure. I have to be good. I have to eliminate this. There was a time when I went on stage and I was 50-50. I was a 50-50 percentage guy. Especially if I improvised.

Especially if I went out there and go, hey, how are you guys doing tonight? What's your name, buddy? What do you do for a living? I do cattle bells, really? What are you swing them? You hit people in the head with them? Ha-ha-ha.

That shit's terrible. That's a horrible. fucking way to do comedy. Sure. Now preparation. Yeah, man. Preparation. Eliminates a lot of that fear.

Preparation. Do you like do your jokes for people and stuff like that? No. No. I mean, no. Like, that's what I did for the performance, man.

It's like I, like, I would invite people on my pad. I play songs for them and stuff like that. No, I tell you to go fuck yourself. Yeah. But you know what you need to do? You got to be like Connor McGregor and you got to turn, turn it into a positive.

You got to, you got to think like this. Listen. Why am I? comedy club because people are here and they want to see you and they fucking love you and they think you're fucking funny as fuck you know what I mean just go out there and do your thing you know how to do your thing you know what I mean that's how you got to like think of it I don't I don't look at it like that you should I look at it as got you should Joey people love

you I've been doing this for 20 years yeah I've done the half time of the Buffalo sayba hockey game and that's the confidence I get that I've done this a thousand yeah yeah yeah for sure forget about people listen you love your mother but if she slips up with the fucking recipe and you go mom what the fuck with this cheese like a bitch you know what I'm saying you all of our mother oh you can't you can't be on mom what the fuck you can't be on a hundred what's the fucking laundry you didn't wash my shirt I told you I had a date tonight I didn't feel good I still got skid marks in my drugs yeah no no listen people love you but you also have to deliver the goods sure sure so I've never

rested laurels on that yeah yeah like me listen to the podcast they paid for a babysitter they paid for a ticket they paid for a fucking Tickets service charge. They did a thousand things for them to be here. I have to do a thousand things to be my best for that. Sure. If it's combing my head, the only thing I don't do is wear a suit because I can't sell my material with a suit.

Yeah, it's just not you. It's not me. It's not you. I would love to wear a suit on stage. Give somebody, you know, in the 70s you wore a suit to make people. Yeah, man, you know what you should do? You should do one of those like suits like Eddie Murphy did in Raw, that red leather, red leather.

No, no. A Elvis suit. Remember in half of how insults he got when they got in wear a suit? He came to a meeting in shorts. Those were the people I grew up with. You know what I'm saying? You talk about from the Irishman

and the guy shot up like that. You show up with the fuck. That was funny. You show up late and with fucking shorts. It's like how do you go to me? That was like disrespectful. That was hilarious. That was a good seat.

You always had a suit on in the 70s. You always wore a suit in the 70s. When you flew, you were required to wear a suit. Really? 70s. Yeah, look at the planes in the 70s when people flew. Everybody was dressed in the nights. Only now do you see people with flip-flops and dirt on their heel

putting shoes up on your fucking thing? We've changed in society. But flying has become a nightmare also. Flying should be an experience. You know, when you go on vacation, I'm going on vacation. It doesn't matter when you're going to Mexico, Mars, Jupiter. You're going on vacation. You're going

on a plane. You're going to eat at the airport. You're going to see a bunch of people. What do you do? You get to an airport and they put you on a in this line for two hours, shit that you don't know. All of a sudden you thought, oh, we got to throw your shampoo away. What the fuck? I'm flying with no shampoo. They threw away my fucking ear things.

You know, oh, what's these pills? Oh, those are my pills from my sciat. When you're domestic, do they make you take your shoes off and all that shit too? Oh, yeah. Domestic flights? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I got clear, and they still, unless you got TSA, then you don't have to take their shoes off, but, like, I'll fly with a warm-up suit.

You need that, like, what is it called, that, global entry shit, that global entry where you bypass all those customs and all that shit and you can just go right through. It's called global entry. It's pretty dope. Yeah, that's great, but I got 19 felonies. You're not going to give me a global fucking entries, all right?

I get TSA pre out of L.A. They always give it to me because I fly 20 times a year out of it. They know I'm not a fucking terrorist. It's the other plane, it's the other airports. The computer systems don't give me TSA pre. Plus, I have the clear. So I cut right through. you anyway. Nice. I know how to fly so I know not to wear jeans. You know, you don't

wear jeans to fly. No, I like to be comfortable. You have to wear warm up, so you have to put you, take your belt off. You know, you got to wear sneakers in case you got to run through an airport, you know, you got to wear flip flow. Sure. You know, I'm going to wear flip flowers. What if you got to run through an airport when there's an active shooter? You also have to have like easy access because in case you get, you become a member of the Mile High Club. Always. Always. You know, you got to. I don't drink alcohol on a lot. You know, you know, I don't drink alcohol on a flight. I don't try to retain sodium. Last time I did that, man, I got

food, no diet soda, no nothing. Yeah. I don't do nothing of the plane. I did that once, man, before I got on a plane. It's so weird, how bad I feel even before I, when I take care of myself, when I fly like long distances, I feel it for a couple days. I could imagine people who don't take care of themselves when they fly,

how they feel. I just ordered like one of those tight pants that chick wear, yoga pants. Those spats I'm going to start wearing spats under the sweat. I see a lot of people wear those. I couldn't believe I don't like them. I don't like them. I can't do it.

I had to wear it for my leg for the hamstring. Yeah, yeah, I can see that. Because the blood clots. I put them on both legs. I was like, damn. A lot of people put them under their knee pants. Imagine what your furtick will smell like. Stuck in those pants.

You got to like open it up, just looking at the aroma out. I get nice and stuck in there. You know, but no, it's a mindset is really big with everything. You know. Yeah, man. When you get into Jiu-Jitsu, when you walk in that door, the first three classes, you realize you're completely lost.

People mounting you, people passing your guard. You know, if you took a look at the percentages, people probably quit after four classes because they don't think they're going to achieve that. There's people that go, fuck, it's hard. Let me put my head down. Somebody's smart like you goes up to him. This is come here.

You see what's happening today? It's going to happen for the next 11 months. enjoy it. In the year, if you keep coming here three times a week, you'll be doing what they're doing. Oh, man, I tell people that all the time. And some people will put their head down and do exactly that, fight through whatever,

they commit to it three times a week. I have to explain to them that everybody goes through the same process. Everybody goes to the same process. Tell people, like when you start jihitsu, you have to master, tap jitsu first. To learn how to tap, tap with your foot, say tap, tap with your hands, whatever, you know.

Because you don't know anything. It's like learning a language, you know? Like, I'm going to give you a couple moves. It's like giving you a couple words. And then later on, you're going to learn how to put it into a sentence and connect the dots and all that stuff like that. That's jih Tutsu and it takes time just like anything else. People ask me, how do I get better at Jiu Jitsu? I was like, you got to do it more.

Just like anything, you want to get good at something? You got to do it all the time. If you're doing Jiu Jitsu for like once a week, you're not going to retain anything. Twice a week, three times a week a little bit better. But you know what I mean? You got to just keep doing it, man. So, like, yeah, I go through that every day. I have to encourage people.

I even had, like, a blue belt once, man. He was on the couch, I could tell he was, like, real sad, like, almost in tears. Blue Belt. And he's an older guy, man. Great guy. But, man, you know, he's getting smashed by all these young cats and stuff like that. And he was like, ah, professor, man, I think I'm just going to fucking quit. I'm just going to quit.

I get my ass kick every day and every day. And this and that. I was like, listen, man. I had to sit down and talk to him, you know? Because, you know, people get the blue belt blues. man. That's the cutoff point. Blue belt. People get their blue belt. They either drop off. If you make it to purple belt

statistics say that you're going to eventually go to your black belt. So yeah, so I'm just exactly like I see it all the time. I have to like encourage people because people get discouraged. You go. Sneaking a fly. I got a nice garlic one for you. I took three tablets today. Disgusting.

This morning. Wait till you get a whip for this. You take garlic tabs? Yeah. And I took three because I wanted to be special for them and I had a salad. too, which pushes everything out. Take a word for that. How much would it cause to have you sit here and just choke him out every time he does this? Oh, my God.

He loves that stuff. He's a real man. He doesn't mind a good fart from time to time. You never see those masks at the, what are those called? Sleep apnea. When Asian people, where, you know, like when they're sick? I got to, I'm trying to build a contraption. I'm trying to take my sleep happening machine and figure out how to put it on people and fart.

They could just get a full sleep apnea in their fucking mess. Oh, my God. You know. Oh, my God. That's the system. Oh, my God. A farting sleep apnea machine. You don't even know it's coming.

You just breathe them because there's nothing better than farting. And somebody walks into your fart and catches a huge breath of it. You know what I mean? I called a manager one night at the comedy club. I had just farted and he came in with his mouth open. Oh, my God. And I remember him like looking at me like a dick one in. And I go, Doug, if I was you, I wouldn't stand there.

I go, you already know, you smell. You fucking lived that far. Oh, my God. You just walked into it. He just walked into it and took a deep breath. And it was all over about the shot. How, you know, it's so weird. 20-20s coming.

I know, man. That's crazy. This is why I wanted to get you on to just talk to people. You know, I tell people all the time, if you're thinking of doing resolutions and you wait until January 1st, you lost already. Yeah. Start right now. Yeah, people like that.

Start now. I'm going to start. No, because December, December means 10 pounds. People have no idea that once you hear December, it's 10 pounds. No matter what. I don't know what it is, man.

Around this time of year, I fucking crave sweets. Sweets. They're everywhere. Fucking sweets, man. You know what I had yesterday? I want all this shit. You know, yesterday I had a rough day,

put my cat away. Yeah, yeah, man. Well, fucking years. I had to put them down. And this is the one I made the promise to the quick cocaine. I made a thousand promises to a thousand people and the one I kept was to a cat that didn't even know he made a promise.

I just got on my hands and knees and said, God, if you save this cat, I'll never snore coke again. I had to put him down yesterday. And when my wife got back, I didn't feel too good. When she left, I thought I was having a stroke because I got up and I laid on the floor with him until they took him and I hadn't eaten and I got up just to make a protein shake.

And I made a wrong protein shake. Like I put mayonnaise in it. Oh, shit. Like I did shit. I don't even know what I put in it. I put the wrong. I don't even put milk and protein. I make a protein shake with water.

And I put milk and ice cream. I go, what am I doing? That's how disheveled I was. I had to start from scratch. But when she got back, she goes, what do you want to do? And I go, listen, I know you're too upset. They cook. Let's we've got a couple pieces of sushi.

And when we walked out, she goes, you're happy? And I go, I feel a little better. and she goes, what would make you happy? And I go, honest to God, something that I haven't had since I started Jiu-Jitsu or anything. She goes, what's that?

I go, a piece of apple pie. Just because I'm petrified the diabetes, petrified professor. So I said, let's go get, so we went over to 420, and we split a Dutch apple pie with ice cream, you know? That was the extent of it.

But usually I watch myself a lot in December. Yeah. Because those cookies add up. Yeah, Man, I don't typically eat out of sweets. I can eat a box of candy canes if you let me. Oh, man. You're watching the news, you know, one candy cane.

You know what's going on now to it is parents are bringing like fucking freshly baked cookies and they're putting them on the table right there. And I can't fucking just look at them, man. No, you got to watch yourself this time of the year. Man, you got a really, really watch. And I typically don't eat sweets. I don't keep any sweets in my pad because I'll fucking get, I'll get stoner munchies and I'll fucking, if it's a box of cookies or I'll eat the whole box.

So I don't even keep anything. my pad that I have to cook everything. You know, I make sure I have to cook it. Otherwise, I'll get like the munchies and eat all this shit. It's funny because yesterday I ate sick. My points for the day of 41. That's what I'm allowed in yesterday. It's 60.

Thank God you have like extra points to dip into. But I ate 60. No, I ate 60 because the pie put me over. The pie and the ice cream put me over the top. Yeah, yeah. It's like pure sugar. But it was, uh, You know, you got to watch yourself this time of year.

Do you get a lot of new students now on the first? Like usually in the New Year, you know, that's when, like you said, everybody has the resolutions and everything and then people pile in, you know. But I mean, like, geez, man, we already have so many students there. But we have people coming there all the time. But around the New Year, that's, you know, we usually do a special. And absolutely, we get people who haven't been there in a while come back. And then you get new people that come back, come in, you know, with resolutions and stuff

like that but I agree with you man is like you know what don't like don't use that as a crutch you know if you want to get in shape just fucking start now get in shape and just do it man you know don't wait oh I'm just going to do it to the new year man so I try to never stop like working out you know I'm always doing

I really like and respect what you do you post your videos every day win places show you know yeah you're showing people the flaws you're doing you explain the flow of the week yeah yeah exactly you know I mean you have a really really good system over that. I appreciate it, man. I can't be fucking swinging no kettlebells for an hour, though. Yeah, well, we don't swing the kettlebell for an hour, man. We always warm up with, we always do

mobility. What's your class consistent? If I get there at 530. If you get there at 530, at 530, you're going to come in, we're going to do mobility. Which is, which is like, neck rotations, shoulder rotations, elbow rotations, hip rotations, you know, get the, get the blood flowing in the joints and stuff like that. It's something that I did, I never used to do before. But like as like in my late 30s, I started getting injuries. And I was just like, man, I'm not warming up enough. And so especially like as we get old, we got to get blood flowing into those joints and stuff like that. You know, so we do that.

It's a really, for the first like 20, 25 minutes of the class, it's all very low impact. Like isometric stuff, like planks and stuff like that. Then we get into some body weight training. And it gets a little bit more. more intense, a little bit more intense, and then the last 30 minutes of the classes when we start getting into the kettlebell, little by little.

So like whenever you see the video that I post, that's like the very last portion. They're already warmed up. We've already built up. Okay. We've already built up to that. I'm like, if I got to walk in that 5th 30, then he's just gonna hit me with a figure eight.

Oh, fuck no, man. I'm gonna have a hard of time. That's a hard of time. I would be hurting everybody and I wouldn't have anything in my class, man. So like, it's like when people come to the gym, man, it's my priority to keep them safe. If I'm hurting people in my kettlebell class,

nobody's going to come. I won't have a fucking job. I've been fucking teaching kettlebell classes for 10 years, man. You know, and that's really what separates me from all these Instagram kettlebell flow people, you know, because if you look at them, they're not training anybody. When do you ever see me post a video of me just working out by myself? You know, is they're working out by itself because they're not training with anybody. That's why I don't like working out by myself. I like working out with my students. It's more fun.

You know, I practice what I preach, but it's very, it's very safe. You're not there with a whistle. I watch you. know, I watch. I don't use a dry race board or anything. All my workouts are in my head. I know my work, my own program, you know, like the back of my hand. But, yeah, like safety is key. I never force somebody to use too much weight that they're not comfortable with. I'm like, hey, how is that weight? Is it too heavy? We can go lighter. If it's too light, you know what I mean? To me in the beginning, it's more about technique. And then it's really about what you want to do. You know, like if you

want to progress and gradually, you have to start increasing their weight. If you want to get a little stronger you have to increase weight a little bit but even then i don't go super heavy man i'm like i'm not really into doing like max reps and stuff like that it's because when you start going heavier and you start doing max reps then you're pushing yourself to do more weight than your body's accustomed to and then that's when people start getting injury because you start losing form and stuff like that and another reason people get injured too is because they don't warm up enough so if you're really warm and you don't go too heavy then chances are you're not going to get hurt doing it primary focus of kettlebell is strength or car cardio or both. It's supposedly like,

superior to do everything. Yeah, I get, like in my class, you're going to get strong and you're going to burn a ton of calories as well. You know, so you're going to get strong because I always practice in every class, you've got to

think about the movements that we do in everyday life. What do we do? We squat down and pick up stuff. So we squat, we do lunging, we hinge, we push, we pull, and we do some rotational stuff. So if you're working those movements, like with resistance and stuff and body weight, then you're going to build functional strength. If you combine those movements and do like compound movements that involve

multiple motions like squat and pressing, like say for instance, you get a kettlebell, you squat and you press. That's a call it's called a thruster. You're working your whole body together. So you're developing strength that way as well. You're also developing muscle endurance and stuff like that. So there's different ways to get strong. Now the thrusters. That's when you squat. Squat on the way up, throw it up. So like say for instance crossfit people they do thrusters with the barbell. That means they squat and then at the top door press and you squat and you're just working in area. It's a fantastic exercise. With kettlebell you have like a bunch of different variations because you could do it with one kettlebell. You can do it with one kettlebell rack in one hand. You could do it

with two kettlebells. You can add a twist to the punch at the top of the thruster. So that's why I like kettlebells because it allows for a lot more natural movement. And I don't go, I don't go super heavy, man. I don't really believe in, you know, I think a lot of people lift really heavy because it makes them feel confident, you know, it makes them feel that they're strong

and stuff like that, but I'm a fucking fighter, man. You know, we get 220-pound guys come in and I can roll them up because I know Jiu-Jitsu. So, like, how much weight you lift, I really don't, it doesn't, it doesn't matter to me, you know what I mean?

Because I know, like, later on in life, like, when you get our age and stuff, like, you're not going to be fucking trying fucking deadlift fucking 500 pounds and shit like that you know you got to think about sustainability and stuff like that so like when it comes to kettlebell work man I think maybe my main bill that I use most of the time is like a 16 kilogram kettle bell which is 32 35 pounds yeah something like that listen I don't go over 35 yeah for swinging I'll probably do like maybe like 24 kilograms and stuff like I don't go super heavy man I don't feel like I need to

it it's just for me it's just supplemental training to to add to my regular jiu jihitsu training and stuff like that. It's just a supplement to keep a muscle strength. Now, you know, the guy that most of the training is based on Pavlov? What's his name? Oh, no, no, no, no, no. The Russian. What's his name? Pavel. Pavel. I don't even think he's Russian, but he, like, see, a lot of people think he invented kettleball training. That's just been in fucking Russia forever, man, you know? And you know what's funny about kettlebell training is nobody, there's not a clear history of kettlebell training. But Pavel gets credit because he's really the person who,

brought kettlebells to America and popularized it, you know? But he has a whole different philosophy, man. Like his thing is like, like, my original kettlebell coach was certified from Pavell. But they have this whole thing where you are a guy, you must swing with 40 kilos. And my instructor would be like,

dude, you're an MMA fighter. You should be swinging with this much of wine. I was like, dude, my back is fucking hurting after class. I'm like, why? And I realize we wouldn't warm up, but that's how he teaches. If you see his video, he has this one video He has this one video is like,

If you are not tough, we make you tough. You got to see the video. It's like, it's almost like a joke, man. You know, like personally, I have never been a really big fan of that guy. You know, but he has his own philosophy. He was just on Joe Rogan's show, you know. Pavel, you got to check it out for yourself.

He wouldn't tell, Joe Morgan asked him how old he was. Did you see that? No, no, no. I didn't. Like right there, you can see Joe got turned off because he's like, hey, so how old are you? And he goes, I'm 20. And he was like, oh, he goes, no, but really how old are you?

And then he wouldn't tell Joe Rogan his age. And Joe, he was, hey, I'm 52. Are you older than me? Are you younger men? And he was giving Joe the runaround. He wouldn't fucking do it. So Joe, Joe Rogan was like, what's up with this guy, you know? And then, you know what's funny is somebody, a student explains something to me.

He was like, man, you should be as famous as these guys and this guys. He's like, but what happens is these guys, they know how to hack something. They figure out how to get, like, marketing and stuff like that. they find the marketing niche right there and then boom they blow up but i study people man i see if somebody says they're this and then that i research them and to be honest with i've never seen that guy actually work out with the kettlebell i've seen him demonstrating kettlebell exercises and stuff but i've never seen him do an actual workout like an hour long workout now if you look up somebody like steve codder or steve maxwell who are my early influences of kettlebell training those guys were

always working out with fucking kettlebells they're always training people that's why i like those guys are like okay these guys are legit they actually train people i love i love i love steve max i love like like those steve maxwells those are two like and if you train in kettlebells you should research the o g cats like that those guys were doing it before us those guys were originally rkc people but they you know philosophies differ so they broke off and did their own thing but those the guys know their shit and so like uh for instance whenever i first started learning kettlebells from one of those rkc guys they talk about the snatch like it's the best kettlebell exercise in world. Oh, if you can snatch a hundred times, your jiu-jitsu is just going to go through the roof.

But I would do the snatch. I was like, come on, man. It's a core-based movement. It's not going to make your jiu-jitsu better, you know? And I don't feel like it's a true test of strength. But back to Pravo last night on Joe Rogan's show, he was asking us, oh, so what kind of workouts do you do? You know what he told Joe Rogan? He said, I do swings and dips only. That's all he does. And Joe Groson is, you don't. do anything else he's like no because I think I feel those exercise cover everything swings so a swing a swing is a hingeing movement so you're primarily working your your butt your hamstrings your abs you lower back and you know you get a little bit of a full body workout but man it's not the be all

and all there are so many other movements that you should really focus on you know not just swings and dips and the dips what are you working you're working your lower chest you're working your triceps you're working your shoulders you know your core a little bit but but but but But I'm like, I'm glad he said that because he teaches everybody all this kettlebell stuff and barbell stuff, yet he doesn't even do it himself. You know what I mean? That's why I'm like, I'm glad he said that because there you go right there. Because back in the day, I even remember back in the day in martial art magazine, they would advertise, he would advertise in the magazines. The kettlebell is the 8K-47 of the Russian Spetsnas make you strong like Russian Spetsna, you know, like stuff like that.

And I was just like, give me your fucking break, man. And then he goes on Joe Rowland last night and talks about how he only does two things. So he doesn't do all the snatching and stuff like that. You know what I mean? So to me, it's not authentic. You know what I mean? When I get off a plane now on a Sunday, I do three sets of swings, three sets of cleans, three sets of cleans, and Turkish get-ups. Now, the Turkish get-up, that's a whole other thing.

I do a whole other thing. I do a half of Turkish get-up, I do a knee. If you know how to do them. Five on each side, three-ex-ex-old. times. That's a great exercise. And that's it. And by the way, like... And I feel completely better. So you find you bring it the Turkish get-up, though, man?

It's like a... I have to... I had to stop calling the Turkish get-up because at Legacy, we have like a ton of Armenian people. And it just was not fucking jiving with them, man. They're like, fuck that. I'm not going to fucking do that shit. I'm going to do a fucking Armenian get-up. And I get-up. And I get it, man. You know what I mean?

I get it. I'm all like, fuck. So I'm like real self-conscious about saying that now. So I just call it the kettlebell get-up now. But it's a great exercise. And it's very specific to Jiu-Jitsu because the Turkish get-up is basically the same thing as what we call the technical lifting Jiu-Jitsu. And you're going to use that movement. Like if you roll, you're going to use something that looks like the Turkish get-up multiple times within that rule. So that is a great exercise. I definitely recommend people learning the kettlebell get-up.

What is your next certification? I'm actually going to be in Texas in March. Okay. March 14, I'm going to be at a place called RISE kickboxing. I'm going to be doing a four-hour workshop there. And then shortly after, I'm going to have a certification here in Burbank. I just saw that. There was like somebody took a picture like in France.

One of your students opened up a school in France or something. Student? I don't know. They got certified by you, whatever the fuck. You certified them and they went on to open up a school. And they sent you like a little video. Was it a girl? Yes.

Doing the roles? Yes. Oh, that's that. She's going to be stoked. that this is her handle on this screen was Val power powerful so she reposted a workout

that I did like a Jiu Jitza specific body weight flow yeah so like yeah man it's cool man I have followers all over the world it's pretty cool man when people do that it's very flattering

I dig it man you know somebody in the other side of the world is doing your shit you know but like she she came actually came she's been following my workout she purchased my downloads online so then when she was in town she came and she got like a couple

private lessons for me so she understands it She's already a trainer and she trains people as well. So, yeah, that's what you're talking about. Man, man, I don't even see you on Instagram half the time, but you're on there, man. You're scoping people out, huh? I'm watching. You're watching, man.

I'm watching. You're like, learning. I'm watching what people do wrong. You're like a ninja mode. You're just like watching. I watch what people do wrong on Instagram on social media. Sure. People do right.

I'm learning. Yeah, yeah, man. I'm learning to see if this guy posts on Saturday. What kind of results is he had? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have to see where your social media is in your world and you're doing a great job with it. I mean, I appreciate it, man. You know, I do it because I love it, man.

You know, honestly, I don't like social media is kind of a pain in the butt, but we got to do it, you know, and I always feel like I have to be posting things, but, you know, I'm happy to be doing it for a living, man. Well, I tell you what, it's not easy. You think about what you do for people. Absolutely. Go on Facebook at 9 in the morning and already you got a little bit up. Yeah, yeah, that's the way I'm looking at a little three-minute video up.

Go, man. And if people... Maybe I need to work out a little bit today. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I get that all the time now. I have to go to go to holly up. you what I gotta do this I won't have time to go fucking a kickback I get that people hit me up and like I see you training at 530 let me do five sets of swings yeah you know

make sure you warm up first I think like fucking like if you look at it okay just to let you know people at home if you do let's say kickboxing you do kickboxing for 15 minutes you burned eight points with wait wait watchers what if you do what's that your weight watchers app kettlebell workout for 15 minutes

you burn 10 points nothing burns more calories than swings I heard I think it swings and swimming swing I can see yeah swings and swimming

but if they say kettlebell workout it could mean a bunch of different things you know when it says no no if you what I put down when I do my little

three three and three it's 10 minutes it's 10 minutes And you just use like a light kettlebell? Thirty-five. I don't, there's no reason to go over. Before I even met you guys, Lee and I went to a kettlebell class where the guy would have you strung in 85 pounds.

Yeah, that's great. And I would do it on Tuesday, and I couldn't do nothing until Friday. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the law of diminishing returns. Exactly. With kettlebell. That's why I never forced me. If I'm going to do something twice, I'm not getting.

See, that's like that. What's that guy that fought John Jack, the white dude that has a juitsu school. Years ago, Ron Wood. Roy something, Roy Harris. Oh yeah, Roy Harris. I read his jiu-jitsu thing, and it was brilliant about why schools aren't doing this and this. He goes, and I talked to Vinnie Magalise,

told me about a month ago, because Vinny CBD line was looking to get somebody from the PFL, and I called Vinny for something. Yeah. And it was funny that Roy Harris, Roy Harris was the one that really made me start thinking about what am I doing with Jiu-Jitsu? Because he goes, listen, when you're over 40,

the rules are completely changed. And he goes, that's what the problem is today. That when you're over 40, you go to a jih Tzu class, and you feel inadequate because the 20-year-olds are kicking the shit out. They're just kicking the shit out of you. They're more mobile, whatever. Your testosterone starts to decrease at a certain age. And he goes, I treat my 40-year-olds in over completely different.

that's why they have like the master's training at legacy on Sundays you know he was saying that but the master's only Sundays at 8 a.m. so it fucking kills you that's the only time that I'm either out of town or who the fuck is up at eight I work on Saturday fucking night yeah you know at 8 o'clock in my house yeah it's still like it's still fucking action take a word for this one this is tremendous golly bleak oh yeah this is good this is the root sometimes you get a fart this is like a middle of Italian garlic part It's tremendous. Look, he's all happy. Start putting oil down on floors again. Get your other hamstring.

He's got to drive to Ontario. Just because you fucking my hamstring, I'm not in a minute of a fart. That means I'll fucking eat six of those pills and blow your fucking eyebrows off your head. My farts will fucking burn those eyebrows. I'm drinking poop out fucking vodka. So no, that's what I'm saying.

And that's what I'm saying. Like if you're looking to really make a splash, you know, contact professor. Let's say you live in Iowa or something. Just get yourself a 35 pound dumbbell. And contact Professor Joey Alvar out. Kettleball. What I say? Dumbbell.

Cettleball. Whatever the fuck. You know what I'm saying? That thing. The thing. I can't do the thing. What fucking thing? The thing you taught yesterday.

I don't know what I taught yesterday. The thing with the arm and the fucking legs. Alberta, you used to say. to go nuts. What thing? The thing? I don't fucking know. A Camora. I don't fucking know. Show me that thing. That wasn't a Camar plata. That was a comma plata. Hey, whatever the fuck. He said, coma plata. He said, come a plata. Come a plata. Whatever the fuck it is. Go go plata, omoplaata. I got more platters than fucking anything. Listen, look up Joey Avarad on Instagram. What do you put your work on that?

Intragram. I see him on Facebook, everything, man. Well, I appreciate you coming on. Man, I always love coming on here. Can I give a shout out to my sponsor as a kettlebell. Yes, absolutely, always. Always. The best kettlebells. And Rogan still watches your stuff.

He says, you're fucking crazy. I want to give that guy a workout sometime. Fuck. I think over 50, we can't do that complete fucking kettle thing. But I'm happy you came in. I just wanted to do. Listen, man, I want to let people know 2020's coming. Uh, you know, you, I don't agree with people whining that, well, we'd love to be.

Well, we live in a fucking open society. You know, Barbie should be fat. No, she shouldn't. Barbie shouldn't be fat because you're fat. You're a fat fuck because you eat. That's why. The same way with me. I wish I looked like the guy from fucking Aquaman.

We all do. But you're not just born like that. Yeah, you go down to the doctor and take a couple shots, but you still have to lift weights and go to the fucking gym. Yeah. The main thing is just being healthy, bro. Yeah. Just being healthy.

Get your blood going. Get your oxygen moving. Find something that you enjoy doing. Something you enjoy doing. go for it's 2020 that's it you sat there all fucking year thinking about what you were going to do and at the end of the day you didn't do dick

you didn't do dick so it's over you got that's why I love Mondays I tell people all the time Monday's my favorite day the week you know why because you get a second chance of everything comedy jujitsu boxing eating pussy licking asshole sucking dick I say you're gay you're sucking on a Friday you don't do a good job

because that's funny that's why people like your Monday motivation man like that's what it's all about my boy wider i told you about the kid that he's like tell him tell joey i love his monday mondays is what it's all about it makes you laugh and it gets you're out like you let's do you guys the fuck up how can you get depressed after you listen to joey somebody somebody's dying the suck a dick out there and you're walking around i'm having a gloomy day yeah take that dick out and go on a fucking hunt also let me let me say something to people like you know how people get really depressed over the holidays and stuff like that man you know i had a student recently talked to me you know that's one

thing about being a professor like they confide in you you're they're they priest my rabbi when i was there with you you were everything i tell you the truth i can't do yeah but man you got to keep your head up man you know you always got to you if you have a roof over your head and you have food man you know you got to stay positive and and you got to just overcome that and just don't let don't let the holidays get to you and stuff like that man my mom my mom was her birthdays on christmas day and my brother that rest in peace too his birthday was three days after he was like murdered like six years you know so like but no it happens man you know but it's life we have to move on and we have to you know just do what we love in life and just stay positive man you know and just keep

people 20 don't think about what you don't have exactly about what you do have exactly and how fucking lucky you are exactly you see somebody god forbid in a wheelchair and you're complaining go fuck yourself put yourself in his fucking shoes exactly you little fucking pussy now cut the shit out listen uncle joey ovarado and listen to your uncle jose and listen to your uncle jose Joy, real quick, the church is brought to you by policy genius. Are you covered for life insurance? No, why would you? You don't think that way. Neither did I at 38. But if you start now, before you start slipping and you have a pre-insisting condition, everything works out. What happens if you slip on a banana peel? Your kid still has to go to school. If you're not covered already, put life insurance at the top of your

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fucking savages for listening. Next week's Christmas, guess what? You ain't got time to be depressed. We'll be here with you, motherfuckers. Yeah. I want to thank Professor Joy Alvarado.

Thank you. Over at Legacy, go catch him. He's got a 5.30 a.m. class, a 6.30 p.m. class during the week, Tuesdays and Thursdays. And I think it's 11 on Saturdays. 10 a.m.

10 a.m. on Saturdays. Go visit him and tell you. on my essential. Besides that, have a great fucking weekend. Enjoy yourself shopping. Go to Amazon, do your last shopping, use the church of what's happened. Now, Link. And that's it and that's that. Yeah. I want to thank you guys, and I want to wish you all a happy holiday season and Hanukkah's around the corner for you fucking Jews. Get ready. Sharpen that dick and put some fucking grease on your

shoes. It's time to slip and sue somebody. You know what I'm saying? Anyway, I love your cocksuckers. Happy holidays. Take this motherfucker, Muley. Play some Skinnard.