The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #786 - Childhood Memories with George Kolodinsky Part #2

Episode Date: May 13, 2020

Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt talk then Joey sits down for part two of his talk with lifelong friend, George Kolodinsky. Joey and George met in highschool, lived together in Colorado and New Jersey. This podcast is brought to you by: Blue Chew - Go to BlueChew.com/church and get your first shipment for FREE! Pay only $5 for shipping.   Manscaped - Get 20% off your first order and a travel bag if you purchase "The Perfect Package" at www.manscaped.com/church

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and I'm over here dicking around of the fucking soldier we're going in like fucking Marines you understand me welcome to church motherfucker what's happening you bad

motherfuckers Uncle Joey here it's Wednesday morning the 12th of May guess what you're still locked up your miserable cuck suckers they just locked us

until June fucking 30 who gives a fuck at this point we got each other Listen, you may not have no money. You may be fucking licking dick for a living. Whatever you're doing, I'm sorry you're in this position. I hope you're not feeling bad. If you're feeling, you know, I don't even like saying the word.

Please call. Call. Hit me up on Facebook, Twitter, Spotify. Whatever the fuck you got, I'll answer you, okay? There's a time of you where people are feeling bad. I'm here to change that around. So for starters, if you got a joint, let's spark. this motherfucker. I don't care if it's a squad.

Who am I to judge? It's fucking Wednesday. You know what I'm saying? Me, I'm smoking a little fucking, I don't even know. Can kiss the door, mad at door, something from fucking urban trees. They always take care of me over there in Studio, Studio City from Ventura Boulevard.

I love smoking Riefer as much as you motherfuckers do. I don't know about drinking and jumping up and down and going to birthday parties, but Riefer and some music listening to somebody, reading a good book. This is what it's all about. This is what this quarantine's about. Writing a little bit, whatever, but here, but for right now you're here with your uncle

fucking Joey. Last week, we had George I'm part one, but we're just talking about us, me selling weed to the Indians and fucking spraying the bottle and now we're going to talk about the kidnapping, but it's weird. I'm really happy I'm taking this time to talk to some of my friends. I'm not, we're not going into criminal stories, the people we mugged or whatever. I just want to tell you that after 40 years, I still talk to this. same people. If I have any accomplishments at all in my life, it's that I've kept these guys around to keep me grounded. That's why you don't see me at Hollywood parties. That's why you don't see me acting like a moot fucking the law. Because in my world, I'm still one of them.

I owe it to them. These people I put on the podcast and these Cedarville, these guys are what I thought about in my darkest times. When I was having a hard time and going, ah, I could just go to easy way out and I'll sell coke. No. No. Those people in investing time in me. And I still got more people calling in that I'm going to call in tell you that half these people invested time in me. They gave me money when I was down. And here we are 30 years later. We're doing a podcast and we're just reviving those fucking stories. Now they impacted my life. You know, it's a beautiful fucking thing when I could give back. And, you know, that's it. But it's fucking Wednesday. Your unemployment

and I don't know, whatever. Listen, get a gun. I told you that eight weeks ago. I told you to get a gun. to get refunds. You don't know they get a refund. I remember a gun. You got a gun always just in case. He's just some guy walking down the street. He's on the fucking cell phone. Now you got the mask.

You're halfway there. You got a white mask on. You put the gun in his rib. Listen, I'm just going to take your wallet. Remember, if I take your wallet, you didn't see my face, hit him with the De Niro line. I know who you are. You know who we are.

And just run down the street. I'll forget that 10 minutes later. By that time, you're in your car, his wallet is in the sewer. whatever. I'm not telling you to fucking be a thief. What I'm telling you is you got to get up off your ass and fucking else. I don't know what else to tell you. I'm saying.

I'm doing the same thing in my world. I'm almost ready to do cameos. Like I'm ready to fucking call people up. Hi. My name is Jerry Lee told me to call you and say that you're a fucking stinky fuck. I don't want to do that yet. You know what I'm saying? I'm still trying to maintain some fucking dignity. Dignity here because

I just can't. But I got miles to feed. This fucking homeschoolers killing me. You know, we all have issues during this. The issue for me hasn't been this being alone. None of that shit bothers me. I don't give a fuck if I ever go anywhere again. You understand me? I don't give a fuck about planes, trains,

all automobiles. What concerns you mean is my daughter. You know, it's how well-being. I saw how, you know, you look at these fucking 23-year-olds today, 30, 35-year-olds. are a little fucking retarded. I'm trying to... I'm not talking about you.

No, I'm not talking about you. Lee. Yes, I am. Anyway, I just feel that you got to take your kid in a different way. Somewhere we forgot the parenting thing, so I'm taking this as seriously as I can't. She's at the house

waiting for me right now. We're going to draw, and she's got to read me three fucking books. Or Tuesday don't fucking work out. Tomorrow we do a podcast, or Wednesday they don't work out. We had to move everything around. We used to do a podcast on Tuesday.

Now we moved it to Thursday because she's got to play dead on Tuesday or one. This is what I'm trying to do. And I know I don't put kids together. They have face masks and they don't land on the same spot. They ride their bikes. I don't have the kids together in circles. When we get together, we don't get together with more than two kids.

It's me and my wife, her and our husband and the kids. and that's how it's been working out but that's what I have to do for her to have peace of mind she also FaceTime's oh guys comedy is done just call me assistant principal Diaz that's what I am now

I'm an assistant principal I'm checking homework at night I have to fucking you know draw with her I'm also part-time gym I'm the words gym teacher because I sit in a chair and make it throw kicks and punches

because I can't squat that low And I can't put, I go on my knees, but I can't stay there for that long. So I have to sit while she throws kicks and punches about. But I'm doing all this because I know that I can just leave her in the room all day. You know, and I could sit in my room all day. And I tell you what, that's not going to fly because that's how the rest of her life is going to be. She's going to have a fucking love affair with that fucking room. Let me tell you something.

I used to have a love affair in my room. But from time of the time, my mom was. come in there and grab me by the hair and say, you got to go out, you got to go. You got to go. Like, you can't sit here all day. And I tell her, well, I'm scared. Scared of what?

They're kids. Just get the fuck out there. I'm being four or five. And then she used to kick me out. Then there was some times when I was six. And then when I went to Catholic school on Saturdays and Sundays, when I first lived in North Bergen, I should have been hanging out with these guys that had been calling in.

For two years, I lived in North Bergen. And I never went out. I only leave was there Saturdays and Sundays and Friday night. Friday night I'd hang out with Union City kids. Saturday I hang out by myself and an attic. In the mornings, I'd stay in a fucking attic or a fucking morning. Till this day, I hate that fucking attic. Till this day, I'm pissed off.

I want to hang on that attic. But we'll get for that shit later. I don't like kids staying in it. I really don't. I don't like the concept of games. I want you to learn to play a game, but you know what? You get more from playing a basketball game

and getting an elbow to a head than playing fucking battleship. Do you know what I'm saying? Like I didn't know, I wasn't into, the only thing that was around when I was growing up with like Mario Brothers, whatever the fuck that was. And you weren't going to catch me on a couch.

You just weren't going to catch me on a couch. The kids I ran with weren't couch things. They played hockey. They played stickball. They ran. They played. basketball without you know I talked to a friend of mine a couple weeks ago they had a close Hudson County Park down where I'm from in Jersey and thank you guys for joining the hills of

north pergen joy LaPoor the moderator of that page uh reached out to me and he goes a lot of guys from the podcast want to join that page that's a fucking interesting page because joy lapar is two years you're older than I am and he rides those hills on a bicycle up and down every day he does a new fucking video of him. The other day he went down the second steepest hill in the country. He went down and run the bike? Yeah. And he survived?

The fuck yeah. Jesus. Joy LaPoor has been right. Listen, if I would have stayed and I would have ridden my bike or the skateboard or the fucking, what do you think, what do you call those slate things when the snow hits? A sled?

Bro, behind the police station, there is a hill that if you look at you, like, I don't And I did it like 10 times growing up. And I almost crashed into cars, you know, because this car is coming the other way. What, you were sledding down? Oh, fuck, yeah. And then you ain't stopping. The momentum behind the police station, that hill, Carmine Balzano's father lived on that block.

And whenever it snowed, he drove us over there. And me and a bunch of other eight or nine dead devils. There were kids that walked up there, dragging that thing, looked down and said, I don't think so. because in those days the shovel would come and then it would pad the snow up against the cars but if you hit like a tire with your head you would done you know how many fucking tires kids went to the hospital on that fucking thing I'll tell you why I remember one time

I'm exaggerating one time some kids threw his shoulder out didn't you have like a hill we had a hill behind the high school hills everywhere you know what not on the street it's the second hillyest city in the country so why didn't you why didn't you have to do on the street? Because what are we going to do on the grass? Yeah. No, that's faggots. We fucking, when we

sled, when we went down the hill, we went down a hill on a bike with no helmet, all right? You take your chances. Some of us are walking around, squeezing the ball. Some of us all right, we're talking. You know what I'm saying? Oh my God. Yeah, there's nothing. Joey wears a helmet. He's

50-fucking seven. Now, 59, I hope he wears the helmet. Yeah, he wears an helmet. But fucking 30 years ago, if you You wore a helmet. You were either retarded or we'd smack the fuck out of it and break the helmet. When you were a kid, you shut up with a helmet. It was getting broken.

I didn't wear a helmet for snow tubing or like sledding, but we did it on grass over. I can't imagine doing it on cement. Concrete. That's how you stop. Listen, how you stop, you had to hit something. You didn't just stop on a sled, North Bergen. You had to bang into something. Oh, my God.

It was like that thing from fucking, I wouldn't. Wide World of Sports. Do you remember that? You've talked about it. I don't know if I've seen it. The guy falling and he tumbles and shit at the beginning. You've never seen that? No.

Look at intro to wide world of sports. I don't give a fuck. Okay. If they take this down, we're not going to show it. But look at intro to wide world of sports. That didn't even start as a fucking real intro. He did that. It fell apart.

And ABC bought it from him. The beginning of, this is how you had a lot. stop when you were a kid in my neighbor. Tell them what the link is. Okay. I'm going to try this one. It says, wide world of sports intro

1978. Sounds about right. They can't watch it, right? No. Okay, they can't see it. As long as they can't see it, we won't get it, but they can hear it. I turn that off. I mean, they can. If they want to, I can put it in.

What's this guy? That was me. That was me. Turn that back. Now, there's a fucking video on you, stop that, stop that, because there's a video on there that shows that skier doing that fall from beginning to end and then turning off the camera and going, fuck, I didn't know it was going to be that bad. And then ABC got the footage one way or another.

That's how I stopped. There was no stopping on a ski sled. You stopped by hitting a car, taking out of another pedestrian, or just seeing that we would bang into fucking Eggersie's wall. My man Anthony and Dean Eggersy's house was right there. You were going to the house? No, we just stopped at the wall. You got a stitch.

You just went home and got stitched stop and came back. I can't imagine. You got a roast beef sandwich and you came back. Oh, my God. You guys were crazy. These little capsules you gave me were pretty good. Dog, who the fuck you think you're fucking with? You think like I make shit up at night.

I caught myself slurring the other day. Did you hear me that night? Yeah? I was slurring. I ate like fucking nine of these things. This is ultra. Ultra. Pills from fucking...

What's the name of this company? I'll tell you what the name of this shit is. I get them every once in a while. When I get bored of edibles and when I get bored of everything, I switch them. You know, I like to switch my edibles around. Right. You got to switch your edibles around. And I'm doing a lot better anyway.

because I'm not eating as many edibles. That break really fucking helped me. Wait, when did you take a break? I took a break after my psychological breakdown in March. I had no idea. I didn't talk about it publicly. It's nobody's business. But then I started getting bored again.

I go, what's a quarantine without an edible? You know what I'm saying? So I went over there one day, and I got a box of these fucking things, these pro tabs. I get the Indica Ultra. Woo! Loaded. Yeah, they're working.

In fact, how many did you eat too? I'm going for like fucking eight of them. Fuck it. It's Wednesday. You know what I'm saying? If it hasn't happened, it ain't going to happen. If it hasn't happened in your world yet, it ain't going to happen. So who gives a fuck at this point?

For what, the week, the month? The whole fucking thing. It's Wednesday. If you didn't make it happen. If you didn't make nothing happen so far, it ain't going to happen. I'm lying. You listen to this Wednesday morning. Something could happen.

You still got today. Probably not. But if something don't happen by tonight, nothing's going to happen. Tonight you get your dick, suck. Look, tonight, you get up, you leave, you go home. What the fuck I'm I talking about? You're not even at work after, you fucking cock suckers. What you do is you're fucking, I don't know, about two o'clock.

Go on my bookie, put 200 in there. Let them give you 100 and bet 300 on the fight tomorrow. Tonight. You got a fight tonight Who are you kidding? You got a nice little fight Tosher against fucking Anthony That's a nice little fight for yourself

That should take care of the fucking board And so you put on Uncle Joey And boom And if it don't happen tonight That ain't gonna happen until next week You know what I'm saying? Lee, what are you saying that? We still got a bottle of quickies to drink here

Absolutely, I'm sorry It ain't a party until the fucking Until Sophia Loren walks in You know what I'm saying These people forget You forget. We're not here to fuck around. We're here to tell a story.

We got Georgia coming on part two. You know, I hope you people could tell George and mine friendship just by our conversation. I hope you're enjoying these. I hope you're listening to, I hope you're not listening to expect something else. I'm not trying to make these funny or anything.

I'm trying to show you the connection I still with, with all my own friends and what they mean to me. This guy means a lot to me. A lot of dog. I've gotten hit on Facebook. I got some ammunition coming for you, motherfuckers. We're going to give you a break. We're going to give you a little comedy break for a few episodes.

Then we'll go back to my friends. Now I know they're an option. And now I know they're willing to tell their stories. One of the best stories I forgot to tell with Georgie because he didn't want me to embarrass him was. Georgie was hammered one Sunday in the afternoon and uh

what I don't get a fucking pin here I get to fucking do this by myself here what do you got there's a boy there you go now we just drank a little 100 milligram quickies to get the day started it's 9 a.m. We're already making it happen

you hear that you cuckeduckedars that's out of respect for you motherfuckers for listening to the show anyway back to the show story with George it's a Sunday I'm holding on to like a fucking strong $19 I got $19 and I can't budge I can't even bump into a nickel

the reason why I needed that all I needed was five or $10 more to go into the city I could walk over get a bag of dope maybe eat some Cuban food it's fucking Sunday I deserve it. I don't want to eat a Wendy's burger. I'm better than Wendy's, but we need to Wendy's burger on a fucking Sunday.

So I get up. I do my thing. I don't have no car sales that day. I'm not doing anything. What era we're going to talk about now is 93. We're going to pretty much end in 93. But I lived with George in Cliffside Park, and I used to work six days a week.

I'm on this Sunday, I had off. I wake up, I eat breakfast somewhere, and I come back, and George is laying on the fucking cots like the zambo. And I'm sitting there's a lady who lives upstairs. Not a good-looking lady, not even a nice lady. She's kind of a prick. She was always a prick to me, you know, like always said mean things. I knew her and grandma were at war. So if you're at war with grandma, you're a war with me.

So I see her outside grilling with her kids. and I go, if she's outside grilling, her purse is upstairs. I'm guarded. So I run upstairs and sure enough, the fucking front door is open because I don't know what you people are thinking. You lock every door. I don't give a fuck if you go to the bathroom. You lock the door.

I open the door and there it is. Sure enough, a fucking pocketbook with a purse sticking out of it with cash. So I take the fucking cash, put in my pocket, close the door, and I run down the stairs. and I go in the room like nothing. Now, I know they're going to blame George. I fucking know

that they're going to blame George. I take the fucking money. I count that it's eight bills. I count that I take it downstairs to the basement and I hide it. And I go back upstairs and I just wait. Sure enough, within the hour,

we open the door and it's the lady. Where's George? Somebody stole my money from my apartment. I know it was him. There was a television missing about a year ago. I knew it was him. And it wasn't me either. I wasn't even living there a year early.

So the grandma, George's grandma, was like, what are you accusing my grandson of stealing your money? And she's like, yes, you stole my money. You know, I'm calling the police. And grandma says, call the police. George, George. And George is getting up out of a fucking deep haze. He doesn't know anything.

She goes, you, you steal the money? And George is like, I just woke up, Grandma. What the fuck are you saying? I've been asleep. Ask Coco. Coco's was there with me. And I'm like, yeah. I'm just waking up myself. Are you fucking kidding me?

I was already show. And I may believe I was taking a fucking nap. So now the cops come. The cops are getting involved. They pull George outside. They pull Grandma outside. I'm sitting on a couch fucking. I'm fucking watching the sports base.

baseball like nothing happened and all of a sudden the cops leave grandma comes back in George comes back and George was so out of it he didn't realize what had been really even missing I waited about an hour I went downstairs I put my best shirt on I went downstairs I got that 800 I think a cab to the fucking subway to the to the bus station I took the New York bus. I took the A train down. I took this girl out to dinner. I had this little relationship going on with this little girl from Boulder. She was a waitress at the comedy club. So boom, I come back that night. I feel guilty. I stop. I get a couple grams of tutelutes, whatever. I get some cash. And I throw joy, it's like a hundred. But I never, ever say this

to him that I robbed that lady. So years later, me and George reconnect like in 2009-98. And I go, George, what's going on? And he go, you know, I go, George, remember the day the lady came and she said that you robbed him? And he goes, he looked at me weird because he knew, he goes, it was you. I go, yeah, it was me.

You knew I robbed him. So we'll laugh at him. He's like, I took the fucking blame. She broke my balls for years after. that, blah, blah, blah, blah. Fast, fast forward to about six months ago. It's a Friday night. I'm in the town.

I don't know what town I'm at. I'm about to go on stage and the phone rings and it's George. And I could, that's why I don't text. That's why I don't text because I want to hear your voice. When I picked up the phone, I could, from the sound of his voice, I could hear that his face was pale. And I go, George, what's the matter? And he goes, you're not going to believe this. I'm at this bar on Cluesside

and this young girl sitting next to me and one thing starts through another I start talking to the bartender and I told I grew up on Inwood Terrace and then she says that she grew up on Inwood Terrace also and I asked the way she grew up and she told me the address and I go hey that's my address

and she goes yeah I lived in that building upstairs from you and your grandma in fact I remember your grandmother she goes, we moved after we got robbed. So George turned pale. He told the chick, thank you. And he called me right back.

And he goes, fucking 27 years later, that robbery still fucking haunts me. Anyway, enjoyed part two with George Kalidinsky, my brother. Kick this fucking meal, Julie. We're in Hollister Dodge, Chrysler Plymouth. And, you know, I tortured Dando to death. the Indians find out I'm putting water in their weed with torture and Jim Roberto. Jim Roberto ended up poking up with that good-looking chick

and got a pregnant. Yeah, yeah. You were losing control. She was a shit or working in the finance. In the finance. She was beautiful, that woman. She was a good lady, too. And his wife was hot.

Yeah, he ended up smacking her around years later. They divorced. But so I got into beef. With Jim Roberto, who was a sweetheart of a guy? My Coke addiction, at that time, I was up probably five nights a week. You know, I was snorting coke five, six nights a week. I mean, I didn't even sleep. I was sleeping probably two hours a night, one night a week.

And then the other, I was probably sleeping one night a fucking week. And you would drink. I was doing more nights at the restaurant then. I started working more because Roberto wound up firing. Right, Jim Roberto. Well, hold on. There's more of this story. I ended up, we ended up moving, getting a two-bedroom house in South Boulder,

across the street from a Rouse. Yeah. And they had a strip mall. And then the seafood guy at Rouse was a Cajun from New Orleans. And they used to make us different food. And that was another place I never paid for seafood again. Oh. Can I?

Yeah. Let me tell you. Here is it. Now, first of all, we had Hercules. It was the world's best dog. I mean, he was like, he was like, you guys remember this. Back then, Coco was there. He was husky, but he wasn't fat.

We had a heavy bag in the backyard. Every day he hit it, his shoulders were rocked out. He literally had fists of fucking steel. It was like Doran. No, I was in shape. I was in really good shape. You had meat hands, bro. You were hitting that bag every day.

Hercules was jumping. You know, we were having a ball. You know, it wasn't just cold. We were doing shit. We were young kids. I mean, George, we were 25 years old, you know. So then I remember his buddy, Orlando Baca. I bought a, I bought a, do the newspaper, a TV and a VCR.

So now we got like a 19-inch tube TV. We got a V-Sah. Now, before this, we had nothing. We had each other at night. We would sit down at night, drink, and look at each other, and I'd go to my room. You were at Kathy's from here and there. I had a girlfriend, yeah. It's nothing, you know, I would go there, and, you know, the food sucked, but they had

that meatball grinder, a fucking grinder, they called it. But, so I remember, uh, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, We got bag of mushrooms. You remember that? We get a bag of shrooms. And song remains the same, was on cable. So me,

you and Hercules got some stems. And we eat that bagger. But we split like an ounce of mushrooms who had a half ounce each one. We were fucking tripping and laughing. And the dog was fucking rolling on his back. And that was a crazy movie to watch back then. That's what.

Stom. You know? And our main thing was Miami Lights. Like, that was one time. Every Friday. Every Friday. It was Friday night. It was Friday night.

It was Friday night. Right. Before we did anything, we watched Miami, and those were the times. And I remember about that time. Do you remember there was a 280Z found in not the shopping center by our house.

Cuban kid. But a Cuban kid. kid in the one by work and he was shot in his brand new you know 28 Z they never recovered the body they just found they just found the

the car covered with blood blood they never found the body then was you know Boulder Colorado's University of Colorado and where they got 50,000 students that go there somewhere around there who knows when school's out

it's a ghost town You know, now you're talking about a small town. It's a city. You know, now I went there, I don't know, 10 years. You go there more often now, but I went back in like 2006 with my daughter playing softball. And it's a city. It's a city.

It wasn't a city. No. It was, what, 20 cops? It wasn't a big. Very small town. Very small town. It wasn't Denver. No.

You know, it was 20 miles from Denver. So it was a small town mentality. And I'm not the brightest guy, but I'm smarter than everybody fucking there. They just, that was the thing that we had, I think. We just had a different mentality. And we, we were caring. But if you had a weakness, we, you know, we found that weakness. People were too fucking nice there.

They were, you know, and it was a New York vice. You know, they didn't really, or me personally, they didn't, you know. Boulder at the time, they were praying for an earthquake that would take California into the ocean because that's what they want. It was like California would snow. We're all laid back, you know. Boulder was a very, very, very, very nice town. It was nice. It was nice.

For us to live in, we had the world by the ball. but like now I'm ashamed to go back to Boulder because of all the bad things like that's Rout's supermarket. I had the dog. I never paid for dog food. We would, I used to just walk up to it.

I would put it under the fucking supermarket thing and just walk out of the supermarket with it. Or I'd just pick it up and walk home with dog food. The rouse became... Like my personal fucking playground. Is that what I have? We would go in there and literally buy like a thing of bananas and a couple of apples. Maybe a box of cereal because we eat Coco's eating this Iron Man cereal.

It was like working out back there. Iron Man cereal. And then we would stick like like fucking, like Animal House. We would stick state. and chicken and all of this we would wear baggy shirts and walk out of there with like you know a hundred dollars left meat and then go to a register and pay you know four bucks and then on top of that a 50-pound bag of dog food on the way out and then we became friends at the butcher and they loved us they loved they loved us and they had no idea we weren't paying that's how much they loved then we became friends

it the butcher, who was a guy from New Orleans. And he would say to me, I did this for you today. He would make, he's the first person ever to turn me out to fish kebabs. He'd make like swordfish with shrimp and all these things that he'd marinate and a jumbo liar type thing like a seasoning. And I would go in there and he'd give me four of them. And I'd put him under my arm by a six pack of soda. and I look at the way to the girl and go,

I already pay for these at seafood. She would never even ask me. Like it was just, like it was like a free-for-all. You know, the money I was making, I sold Coke to snort Coke. So every day somebody called me that was looking for Coke and I would snort Coke. And it was like, George is my roommate,

but George is doing his thing. I was doing my thing. It was the weirdest life. Now when did you start seeing the change in me that you felt something wasn't good? Well, you know, it's funny because I remember I didn't do the list and I was a fucking pig. I remember I used to like do my laundry. Remember throwing it on my bed? I used to sleep on my laundry. Like I didn't even I didn't even have drawers there. I just had like a fucking pile of clothes which I brought way too many out there. But, What happened was a couple of things. Remember, so that all in, we had this little routine, we watched the TV.

Then one day we walked in and the TV and the VCR got stolen. And it was like, you know, we only had like three or four people or ever over to the house. So that kind of like dampened everything, you know, and we don't have it, you know, we didn't have, we didn't have, we had money for everything else, but not the one thing that we really enjoyed doing home, you know, which was, it was. watching TV so you know you were a little pissed off because you knew it was someone you knew I didn't know anybody I thought it was you and you thought it was me like we know in my mind I'm like he thinks I stole it because no I mean I had to be right you had to be right to think that way you know but I remember like it was the first time I saw your faith you were freaking out on me about something I would have because I'm annoying so you know

I am, I guess, a little. So I think I didn't do the dishes or something. And you took the dish and you fucking smashed it. And you're like, clean this up. So you went out with Kathy King. And, you know, I clean up the glass. I do the dishes. I put the fucking plate in the garbage.

But you hung around. He comes in. He comes back in and kind of apologizes to me. And he went to throw something out. And the fucking dish got my own. The thorns were rocked. The fucking plate sliced his arm like fucking four inches, like big. You got a scar still?

No, I went away. It went away. I got good skin. You know, after we apologized, he went to the garbage. And now he's like, what the fuck? And all of a sudden, blood's coming out. And all of a sudden, boom, he goes down like a fucking tree in the forest. I'm like

such a tough motherfucker I put a patch on it and went to sleep and woke up the next morning and dealt with it the next morning and you needed stitches that was a that was like one of those surrounding yeah I needed stitches

man it was like the third story that you told about like just going to sleep with a wound yeah I don't I don't go to hospitals I don't do none of that shit but I could tell that George I can tell that

I wasn't happy. It was about October 187. And it was, I think, like I love George, but I could tell it wasn't working for him. And I got to be honest. I couldn't get a job in a frame shop. Yeah. I got to be happy to do that.

It wasn't working for me either. Even though I had a girlfriend and I had all the direction. I had everything I wanted. I had my best friend with me. I had a job that if I didn't do Coke, I was making money. If I didn't do Coke, I'd make money at that job. That job paid $4,500 a month, okay? A fucking retard can't make money off of $4,500 a month.

I go to college to make $4,500 a month. And you were going to school. I was going. I was taking classes at night and the whole thing. But something just wasn't right. Like, I had a problem then that everybody has. that they're their own worst enemies. Yeah.

They're their own. I'm my own worst enemy. I get in my own way. Yeah. I got into an argument and I left you. You stayed working at Jim Roberto's. This is how I know. And you'll find that in a couple minutes.

I quit, but you stayed working at Roberto's. And then I went over to Bill Kraut's Subaru, which is 100 yards away from you. Right? Right. those days it was 100 yards away it was down the block and I went to work over there and I still remember

like the second day like going back over there but I didn't really want to be there back at Boulder right back at Boulder Surroo I started at that place I'm like why am I fucking here

what the fuck am I doing at this place. I started here and this is a criminal place. This is what criminals hang out. But there was money to be made there. You could make a lot of money at that place selling Subruz. You just had

to learn how to cut through the red tape. They had a new manager named Wayne Means who was a great guy and they had a guy who had my back name Jimmy Wheeler. Jimmy Wheeler was one of the exceptional men that I've met in my life.

He took me under his wing And he goes, you're gonna be fine this time Nobody's gonna fuck with you Bhabba blah blah blah blah There was a guy named Grant Fewsmith That was a floor manager there You didn't know him He was kind of a scumbag

In a way But I go to work over there And I mean my second day there My second day there Like I leave Fucking Christ Laplimit So I could get my life together Like that's all I wanted to do

Was just be a good salesman make money And figure out a way How we can make money get the fuck out of here And go back to North Bergen With a fucking pound the blow Like heroes I wanted to be a hero Me and you

With a parade Throwing packages out of the street You know That's what I thought And my demented Cocaine mine That's what I really thought So you didn't have like goals for like

I had no fucking goals for nothing My goal was to be a drug king of ping like they were on Miami Vice. My goal was to have a blonde and a testarosa and to have a boat and to have parties on a boat. But I didn't know how I was going to get there. I wanted all these things, but I couldn't even fucking control myself to go for a fucking walk. Like the only thing I did positive in those days

was I stuck to hit in the bag and walk in Hercules. Everything else I did was negative. There was nothing positive. I took classes at night at the University of Colorado. You were getting very depressed. Yes. Which you do. You still do.

Like as November rolls around him, right? Now, unlike your childhood friends, I didn't know you when your mother was alive. I knew you after. What I did know, as that time of the year came, is he approached Thanksgiving. November 8. November 8.

November 8. Right. So I tend to go a little crazy in the old. A little drawn back. And that's when this shit was, was, was, was, was growing up. And you were not in a great, you know, you lost a pep in your step. You weren't, you, you, you, you changed, you know, internally. What happened was this, George?

Here I am. I'm in fucking Boulder, Colorado. I'm doing good for my standards. I was doing very good. I had a job I was making money I probably had insurance I was driving a car

I was dressing nice but that wasn't good enough see my friends in North Bergen were going to hunt a mountain every weekend snorting eight walls of coke and that's what I wanted to do God forbid I could do the right thing in those days

God forbid I could do the right thing you always made a choice So second fucking day of Bill Crout Subaru, they hire a salesman. I look at the guy, he's been there before, and I thought you had gotten rid of all these type of people. So they hired two guys that I knew were trouble. One guy's name was Tom O.HM, one of those guys that was a good-looking blonde surfer dude. he looked like the guy

that stole the chick from John Travolta in Greece he had that wrinkle he had that wrinkle look at the end not Canicki the other guy that had the ugly girl chachat at the end all your hand time baby oh yeah all that shit

and he had bad like he was just a a fucking scumbag type of fucking dude So I don't know what we're talking about. What are we talking about? They hired two. So the Subaru dude. I was this own guy and this guy named Bella.

Now, I had known Vela. Vela was a very good-looking guy. Pussy Magnet. But Vela hung out with the Gebbhard boys who owned Gebhardt BMW. They were rich little boys. They parade themselves like Leonardo Caprio. And they had money. When you were at a bar and the Gebhardt boys walked in, there was a big deal.

You know, there was three of them. They had Coke. They had blow. They had bitches. And their father owned the BMW store. Vela was a hanger onto them. Nice kid. But I could tell I was going to flip this guy somewhere along the line.

In those days, whenever I met you, it was just to size you up. You were allowed to do what you did because. I let you. Do you know what I'm saying? And like you saw me in 85. You know when I went through Ari's window, I wasn't scared of nothing. And if he was home, I would have kicked him in the stomach.

My frame of mind in those days was completely different than the frame of mind I have now. You were going down. It was either you or me and if it's you or me, you're going to go down and guess what? Nothing's going to happen. You're not going to call the cops. You're not going to do nothing because I'll

break your fucking... I was out of my mind. I was angry. I was angry about my mom's death. I had no time to fuck around. I would fucking stab you. There's no time. So I'm on the car lot two days and then walks this fucking

Kent Vela. And sure enough, like I'm pissed. I'm really, really, this is hard to sell. But I'm telling you people that I'm pissed because for the first time, I just want to sell cars, make $10 grand a month,

and get my money. myself out of this position so I go home and be a regular fucking guy. I'm out here living with these fucking bumpkins wearing fucking Birken socks driving Subaru. I'm from the land of Cadillacs and white shoes. You know what I'm saying?

Why are you wearing fucking Birken socks for? No capizios. No capizios. You know, you had to go see live music, three hillbillies singing, let it's skinning. I couldn't take it no more. So I remember it was Monday night football.

And I called Mike Askalese. And it was in October. And he's telling me about these parties they're having up and hunt the mountain. They killed a bear with cocaine. They fucking did this and this. And I'm like, what am I doing? I'm taking two classes a week at the University of Colorado. I'm dating this chick who's a very nice girl.

Great girl. I got George out here with me. We're not doing shit together. You know, he's over there making hours. wage. I'm over here fucking fight for my life. And two days later, Vela gets hired. And he says to me, can you give me a ride? Like, I mean, 10 in the morning.

I'm already aggravated. That he's there. And I'm like, God damn it. They're going to bring a fucking guy here who does Coke. This is the last thing I need. I just want a job with people are normal. But sure enough, you know, flesh is weak. Like the Bible says, he tells me, take a ride to the liquor store?

You know, most people went to lunch. He's like, let's go to liquor store. Went to liquor store. He gave me two bumps of his shit. That was ultrasonic. He did it. And then that night, I go, can you get me more of this? And he drove me to his house.

And he goes, my roommate's got two pounds. If you could fucking help me steal it, I'll give you some. I got a DUI. Because at that time, there were three major news things that happened in Boulder. one thing was that Cuban kid got beat up and never found his body number two another drug dealer

got broken into in his house and he was so scared he jumped out the balcony and he broke both his legs and number three there was something else lurking something else had happened so I meet Vela we go back to his house the first night

he shows me the coke tells me the deal that he will want do and I get in my car to drive home and I already know I'm gonna I'm gonna rob this motherfucker but I had a big problem George I wanted to involve you but it wasn't your cut you're not that's not your thing you're a good getaway driver you're a good hide this you're a good you're good a lot of you got to remember initially You met him, you're like, listen, 1245, grab a car, drive, meet me at the crisis dealership.

It's going to take 20 minutes. I'm going to run in and out. And I'm like, are you sure? He goes, yeah. Tuesday, definitely Tuesday, 1230. You called me at work at like 12, and you're like, you know what? It's not good. We're not going to do it.

So I was initially, and I spoke to my attorney, so I'm not legally, there's no conspiracy here, but we were going to do it. But then it turned from like two days, you know, we're going to do it Thursday. Then you're like, no, no, no, no. So now it was like the next week. And I'm like, you know what? There's no way that that's there. Whatever you saw is not there. You're like, there's a ton there.

So now you're involved Mr. Tidwa. That's where he came in, and I'm like, you know what? Good luck, because it just doesn't. And you're looking out for me. No, no, no, because all those days, even when I lived in Jersey, I was doing a bunch of shit. But I would never involve you because you had a mom and a grandma and a dad,

and I would never want to involve you. That was my big thing. Lee, we're going to do this, but that part I'm going to do. because if I get caught, I have nobody. You got a mom and a dad. You just sit in the car. You get that gun ready. You got my back.

But I don't want you doing this. If anything happens, take off in the car. You would just sitting back there talking to a friend. Don't do time. I was old school. If I did a crime, I'm doing the time. Because you got parents. I don't have parents.

And that was my motto. Now, well, what level of crime? crime, like, were you the only one taking the food out of the grocery store, or was this just for big stuff that George couldn't do? Oh, no, I took the food. We both took food like that. Okay. Those are little things.

I'm talking when a weapon was involved. I know how to kick down a door or something. I would never take a friend of mine that didn't need to be there. I would say to you, I'm going to kick this office in. I want you to park over there and watch my back. listen to the police scanner. You know, whatever you need to do, so I'm safe. But as soon as you see a cop, don't play cowboy.

Don't go over there. Just go home. Let me figure it out. I'll run. I'll call you at 11 at this payphone. If I make it out of there, I'll call you at this payphone. So that was the thing. I didn't want George involved.

I woke up that morning. It was a Tuesday morning, 18th of November. I know you weren't happy. with your life. I wasn't happy with mine. And I went to the dentist. His name was Kevin Sessa,

MD. I got my teeth fixed, and it was like, it was like everything else in my life. It was decided right then. Like, it wasn't planned. It was like, when I left Kevin Sessor's and I got in the car,

I called Tidwell. He says everything was in place. I called. Vela, he said the Coke was ready and I go, I'm coming over there to pick you up. You didn't even know what was going on. I went to Vellas, I walked upstairs. He did a couple lines

with me, he showed me some money, so I knew there was shit in the house. Yeah. I go, all right, I go, where's the kilo? And he goes, he's got a hidden in the ceiling. Yeah, I guess that was a popular hiding place. Everybody in Colorado.

It had suspected. They had suspended ceilings. Yeah, yeah, it's not sure. So I fucking did what I had to do. I drove Vela. We've had this story once before I drove him. You know, when I got there, Tidwell, I go, Tidwell, bring Tidwell a sample.

Tidwell is going to take the sample to his people, get money, and then come back, and then we'll figure out how to rob him. Tidwell jumped a gun. As soon as I gave Tidwold, the sample, Tidwell ripped out the machine gun. And instead of saying, Joey, get in the room, he involved me in it already.

So now Vela knew that I was in on it. It was supposed to play out that he was robbing both of us. I was even going to empty my pockets. He was a moron. But Tidwell was a fucking moron. So once Tidwell did that, I was stuck already. So, you know, you had a handcuffed Tidwell, whatever, Vela, put him in the room with the pit bull,

and then I sent Tidwell over there. Now, I knew there was 1,800 in the draw. When Tidwell came back, he said there was 300 in the draw. And right there I knew he was bullshit to me, and there was only an eight ball. There was a lot more coke in that draw. There was about an ounce and a half in chunks in that draw. So I said, okay, motherfucker,

and I can't believe you're doing this to me. And he goes, what are you talking about? I didn't know what the fuck you were talking about. So I had like a little 32 that I had had from my Aspen, Colorado days that even you didn't even know about it. And I was thinking of shooting them both, George. I was thinking of just shooting them both. Because you knew where the house was. Nobody would ever, not my house at Tidwell's house.

I was for one second there, I said, I'm going to shoot both these motherfuckers. Because this is going to go, this went wrong already. This is already wrong. I got a hundred miles in my pocket and fucking a little bag of Coke. This could not have happened for this. And I knew it was going to happen, George. I knew I was going to, I knew it was going to fuck up somewhere along the line. It was my civic duty to myself to go on with it.

I went over the 22nd in Canyon. I went right through then the house. I fucking ripped down. I ripped that house apart and I found more coke than that was in there until this day I can't tell you what I did with the coke I don't remember I don't think we did it no I brought some home I brought some home

a little bit yeah a little bit home and I gave you some you went to the bar and I stayed in the apartment no and then but a lot happened after that I came home I told you I was done we were nervous Kathy King came over she had a perm. Then me and her got into an argument outside and you came out and stopped us.

And then Tidwell came over. And he goes, I want you guys to go on a ride with me. I got another hotel. We could rob. Do you remember that? Because he needed the money. By this time, he needed the money badly. But he

had tried to fuck me. So I said, fuck you. You're not fucking me. Now you need the money more than I do. So he needed money for a stripper that was needed to get a divorce before she sucked his dick. I mean, this whole story

is just retarded. This is the gang that couldn't shoot straight. This is me being one idiot. Tidwell being another idiot, but this was God's way of telling me this had to happen. You know what I'm saying? Like, this has to happen. So you don't remember us

being back at the place, arguing and then Vela knocking on the door and go? Well, I remember. remember is you did go to Cathis. You wound up with Katis. Because I don't even remember the cops coming to the house. No. What happened was... They went to the dealership, right?

Yeah, what happened was that night... And then you turned yourself in. The night that I kidnapped, Vela, I went back home, you went out, I got pretty fucked up on the couch. I had to think about my next move. I didn't know for the guy I gave the Coke to, if I could trust him, I didn't know how long until I was going to get the money

I needed to get you and I a plane ticket out of there because either that or the Chambers brothers are going to come get us that's whose Coke it belongs to Greg Chambers I still remember his name he was the original dealer that Vela was holding it for Craig Chambers

something like that so Chambers was still going to come looking for us So I had to figure it out So I said, you know what? I'm not going to figure out nothing. I'm just going to sit here, snort coke. And when I wake up in the morning, I'll come up with an idea.

There's nothing I can do now. It's 10 o'clock. Tidwell was already in the trunk. When Tidwell came over to the house, he had Vela already in the trunk. And he goes, I don't know what to do with him. I don't know. But there's one guy that has a hotel that has hash.

We could go take him down. And I go, we ain't doing nothing. Our relationship is over. You shouldn't have fucked me at Vela's house. I didn't fuck you. I just didn't find it. I go, yes, you did. It's in your pocket.

I go, get the fuck out of here. Don't come back. And then he left. You went across the street to the fish market. I fucking stayed in the apartment. And I passed out. When I woke up the next morning, you were gone. I didn't even go to work because I didn't have to be at work till two.

So I woke up to banging on the door from a guy called, I don't know, red-headed guy, white dude freckles. He had Brett Blazin, Brett Hayeson. No. That was his name. Blazden Brett Hazen. From where? Well, what was his guy? Tennessee.

He was from Colorado. He lived, he was the lot man at Bill Crout Subaru at the time. So the cops had the building surrounded. He got a car, ran to my fucking house, banged on the door, and he goes, dog. The cops got Bill Crowe's Subaru surrounded, squats over there. They're looking for you. They're trying to get your address. Wayne Means is fighting them off as we speak because they had the old address from where you and I lived.

Right, right. They didn't have the new address. So I had a couple minutes. You were gone. you're gone. So now I get two minutes. He says I got to go. I wash my face.

I eat a handful of fucking Ironman cereal. I brush my teeth. And I run across the street. As I'm running across the street, I can see a detective car. I go to that rouse. I get a legitimate breakfast. And I call my now ex-wife girlfriend at the time.

and she's in hair color in school. Do you remember? She was in hair color in school. Now I'm calling you because I could call you at the lot, but you're on a delivery run. You're not answering. So finally, I'm sitting there,

and I'm like, what the fuck am I going to do at this Rouse? Or King Supers. King Super. King Supers. I go, what the fuck am I going to do at this King Supers? I got cash. I got my wallet.

I got everything I need. I got more than one. what I need. I even got coke on me. But guess what I don't have? Rifa. Man. I had just had a brand new batch of Rifa.

I used to put it in a purple bag. Do you remember you used to borrow my weightlifting gloves then? Remember I got mad at you because I had weightlifting gloves and you borrowed them to go out one night like Fonzie? They match my capizios. They match a capizio.

So fucking we, went to I tried to call you nobody answered I called Kathy and I finally had the school call me back and Kathy got on the phone I said listen they found out about Tedwell I had no idea how they found

anything out I told her to come get me but in the meantime the cops went to my house knocked on the door they didn't kick open the door they got the landlord to open the door, you were at work. They didn't go inside. They're real cops.

They didn't search the place or anything. They came out, they acknowledged I wasn't there. And what they did was they put a police car on the edge of the block. So, Kathy King was coming to get me. I got no refa. How's this going to work out? So I walked around the block the long way.

And I snuck in my backyard. I gave Hercules a kiss. I got my weed and I walked back in front. I remember the cops sitting there and me walking in front of the cops and them not knowing it was me. Like this is just craziness. Then Kathy King came and got me on a Wednesday. I called you from a pay phone.

You had already known the cops were looking for me. And Thursday morning, my name came out in the paper. Remember, the story. came out. The bolder camera. The bolder camera and that's what fucked you up. That Jim Roberto called you over and said, look, your buddy's name is in the paper. And that crushed you.

That crushed me. I made the bolder paper for kidnapping. At first it said Stephen Tidwell and they're looking for an accomplice. And they thought it was. connected to that dude in the parking lot that was missing. So this is what people don't understand. I'm trying to say it on. So I didn't turn myself in because this has been a string of this shit

had been going on. I didn't know what they knew, what they didn't know, you didn't know, nobody knew. And you didn't even know Tidwell that good. The cops didn't even come see you. They didn't know you existed. No, I never talked to the cops ever. No.

They never came to the house. I stayed up, I went, I got Kathy King to drive me up to the house. On Thursday night, I said, let me go back into town, and I got a copy of above the law and lethal weapon. They were the hottest movies of the week out. I rented them, I went up there, and then that Friday I said, you know what? Don Johnson's going to marry. Melanie Griffin? No.

The one that Prince fucked. from Australia. Sheena Easton. Sheena Easton. Don Johnson was going to marry her Miami Vice. Oh, on the show. Yeah.

Let me turn myself in. To let the people at home listen, this is to how fucked up my world was. I had just finished kidnapping. Now, it had all been released in the paper. Guy got caught in a guy in a trunk of a car with a machine gun

and an accomplice, they're looking for an accomplice. I go down and get the movies on 30th and Iris. There's a Kmart across the street from Coco's and there's an Albertsons. I go to the Albertsons first.

I buy some groceries and then I go get my movies and then I go, you know what? Let me call these fucking cops and see what's going on. I fucking call the cops. cop. They left a number of Bill Crouch, Subaru. I called the cop, and he goes, hold on. They kept putting me on hold, hold, hold, hold.

They were tracing the call. They were trying to trace the call. I kept holding a call hanging up on him. And I told him, I know exactly what you motherfuckers are doing. You're trying to trace the call. And they go, Jose, turn yourself in. Where are you? And I go, you know where I am? Come meet me. I'm at the Albertson. on 30th Street. I wasn't at no fucking Albertsons. I was in the parking lot of Abeau's pizza,

so I could see them straight on. So as I'm rolling my joint, I could see the SWAT trucks and cop cars pull up with their guns drawn, and they all flew into Albertsons, and I'm like, I'm in trouble. That's what I realized. I did something wrong.

Something's not. right here. And my cocaine head, I just stole a couple ounces from a guy. I did the job the cops of favor. And then that Friday I woke up with my cocaine mine again. I told my wife to drop me off to get a hold of you and that I would be out by the afternoon. I'm going there talk to the cops. I'll be out by Miami Vice. Make sure you get Chinese food and tell George I love I'll see him later. And then I walked in to ring your bell and I'm going, Who are you?

And I'm like, Jose Diaz, hi. And then go, hold on. There'll be a sergeant opening the door for you. And I'll never forget him opening the door and 10 cops had their guns pull. And they're like, get on your hands and knees. You get in charge of kidnapping one, kidnapping two, aggravated robbery. And I'm like, I still remember you coming to visit me. Yeah.

You came to the... Boulder County. Boulder County Jail. Took me two weeks to get out. And then when I got out, that was when it was sad between you and I. There was nothing you could say. There was nothing I could say. I let you down.

I thought you thought in your mind you had let me down, but you didn't. I had let you down. I had put you in this bad position. and now Jim Roberta. I was surprised that Tidwell didn't even mention me. And Kidwell squealed like a big. Yeah, he ratted me out completely. You know, this is against the law.

What happened? But, you know, there was no honor among thieves. He was, but I was really surprised. I mean, you obviously didn't mention me at all. And I didn't do it. anything but no no I did I did think about it I'm strongly considered without Tidwell just walk in take it and not even having contact with anybody because it it looked like an easy score it was it was too easy to be true and that's why

I got and it became they became more than it should have and again you desperate times desperate measures you weren't in your right mind you know and And you put trust in somebody that is not the kind of guy that you ran. No, no, I was looking for Raygo. He was like a wimp with a gun. Yeah. Like he watched Rambo too many times. No, he was a fucking.

This guy was not even a tough guy. He was. No, no, no. He thought he was. No. He was fatigues. He had a pit bull. He had sunglasses.

He had a tattoo. His car had tinted windows. Yeah. Even Tidwell was a man who. You know, George is from Cliffside. I'm from North Bergen, and we have like a code where I come from. You know, you're never going to see us with a scarf or a hoodie or a goatee that's perfect. Tidwell had all those things.

Tidwell had everything that a man needed to get attention, and nobody gave a fuck about him. He was a retard. But anyway, that's not anything. So about two months past, we don't say much. You know, we live in the same house. I'm heartbroken. I know you're heartbroken, you know. And you got a job in the city.

Your mom got you a job working for Gloria Vanderbilt or whatever. And you go back to New York. And I can tell you're sad, you know. No, you know, she promised me this job with Leona Helmsley at that hotel. We own a Helmsley. Leona Helmsley. at a hotel, which I didn't get. Like, I didn't even get the job.

But it was time for me to go. No, it was time for you to go. Because you were going away. You know, you know, you were working now. You were working again. You were selling cars. Oh, I was doing, I was doing everything to stay out of prison. And it seemed that, it seems that you moved in with Manning.

When I left. Right. When you left, I moved in with Manning. And then we flew you back in August 15. For the trial. I flew in for the trial. For you to testify, I'm a bad. A character witness.

Yeah, he was not character. He didn't ask me anything about what happened. Because I was scared. But we had to go to the trial. And that was one of the saddest days in my life. You flew it on a Sunday. And we had to go to the attorney's office and do like a meet with him. Like he was going to ask you different questions and just run you through it.

What did you feel the next day in court? I was scared shit because I think we parted from the second I got, I landed. Yeah, oh yeah, we didn't stop. I think I slept four hours before I had to testify. And, you know, it's a blur. It was just, you know, me. he trying to stick off here, but didn't fucking matter. I mean,

basically I was there to try to reduce your sentencing because you were done. You know, we all knew it. We just didn't know the number. You know what I mean? You didn't know, like, it's just like TV, you're going to get probation. Because it was such an innocent, I can't

say innocent, but, I mean, you're robbing something from, you know, a thief is stealing from a criminal. We're all thieves. Yeah, well, you got, You know, but in the law's eyes, you know, it's not that. So it's, you know, again, it's like me trying to put a band-aid on a gunshot. I'm not, you know, what it really was was a trip to say goodbye before you went away because there was nothing I was going to say.

I had no revelation. I had no nothing to add other than, you know, I love him. He's my big brother. He takes care of me. You know, they didn't give a shit whatever. I had to say. I remember walking back to my suit on and waving at you goodbye

and I felt very disappointed. Like you were there, Duffy was there, Rousseau was there, they had to come. It was a hard thing. I mean, it was hard when I left. You had to call my dad, you know,

to send me a ticket home. That was a hard, you know, he picked me up at the airport. You know, there was no internet. There was no you know he didn't know what was going on so you know my dad grew to really love you it's weird because he he was a good cop and he was a straight cop and when he heard all of this shit i mean obviously he was disappointed and he doesn't really you know he's he's still alive in florida he's a good man and uh you know it was just hard to tell him because he was still on the job you know what i mean

So, but he loves you. He loves your movies. He loves it. You know what I mean? Oh, no, no. So he turned. But he was really disappointed in. You were like a thing I couldn't really.

My mother, my grandmother, he did no wrong. Everybody was disappointed. I mean, I was disappointed. I was disappointed in myself, but it was nothing I could do. Once I got in there, I said to myself, there was nothing I could do. But that week, before I got arrested, the reason why I named that name Grant Fuse Smith was because I didn't like Grant Fusmith at all.

I didn't like what he stood for. He was like a redneck. He was a Vegas guy. He was very neat. But Grant Few Smith was the first person that came up to me. And he goes, do you mind me having a word with you? And you know, like, when you don't really like somebody, you're like, yeah, man, what is it?

What? And he goes, I just want to tell you that. that guess what I did before I did this for a living? And I go, what? And he goes, I was a Vegas guy. I worked in Vegas. And he goes, if I know one thing, you're a true comedian. He goes, you should get into comedy.

You should try it. You should try stand up. And I told him to get the fuck away from me. And now I feel like hunting them down. And fucking... You're going to fucking slip. Lay your balls on his face. So,

I don't you do that, you know, cop something. So then you left. Yeah. I didn't see you from 87, 88 till 91. I came back. Uh,

oh, then I saw you for the wedding. You came to my wedding in 89. Which was that how I do? Which was. Carrying pictures. Pictures on me.

the plane to go to your wedding and working at the gallery and I brought two or three pictures back when there was stewardesses not flight attendants and you know so they go walking there with these two big things flirt with the hot chick you know put these where your

coat goes no problem got off the plane with these two things and then I didn't remember the wedding I didn't remember you coming to the wedding I was your best man that's right Because Ronnie didn't runny, the plane got delayed.

His plane got the way he was too fucked up. And he was weird, but he didn't get there in time. So I was an usher. And then last minute, I was your best man. And I'm like, and that was, I mean, that, that, man, that wedding, I can't believe that money even went off. That was, the crew that was there was Tommy Russo and who else? That was a lot of crazy people.

Who's there from North Bergen? I think I'd start with Ronnie and he had been up from the night before. Was Pete and Mary Lou there, right? Yeah, Pete Leap and Marry Lou. I mean, there were just a lot of people there. My probation officer was there because I got married 9-9 of 89.

September 9th of 89. So I already had an name. ball in my pocket I got specially signed out that dude that dude from Florida the guy that I didn't know was a really good guy Spanish guy it was Cuban to that was the first time I met him oh Julio a big Cuban guy he had what he had a big bag yeah there was a guy who knew oh Rodriguez and then I didn't see you know from out there was a guy from out there was a guy from That's what I'm saying.

He was a Cuban guy. Julio Rodriguez. He was a Cuban guy. His father was the best pool the best pool player in Cuba. Wow. People came to Cuba

to play against him, Sinatra, Gleason. So he was known as the best Bial in Kua. The kid's doing something now. He's a big time poker player.

But that's who you met. Julio Rodriguez. He was a different kid. But... Cool, good-looking guy. So now, you leave me for the wedding. 91. I show back up at your house.

It's a different time now. Yeah. We're not doing Coke no more. I'm still doing Coke. You're smoking crack or whatever the fuck you're doing up there in the Bronx or whatever. I was dancing with the devil. You were dancing with the devil. I went back there for a week and all we did together was party.

And then I came back. By that time, I had already gone on stage. This is when you first started. Right. So I got on stage July, August. I knew something wasn't right. And then I went to visit you. My wife told me, she goes,

something's going on with you. You might need a little vacation. Go to New York. I went to New York. They gave me a white fucking car. Like a white Cadillac. I ran it. And it was like a car.

No, it was like an impal. It was an impal. It was a big white car. It was a cop car. White cop car. So I would take George into the city of the cop and nobody would want to talk to us. Because they thought we had a fucking cop car. So we couldn't get Coke or wheezed from anywhere.

It was a fucking nightmare. So I come back to, I stay with George for 10 days, eight days too many because it was just too much. It was like I went back fucking blown out of my head. And I think I was back a month before she said, we're going to get a divorce. And then I went... Yeah, that trip did it.

I think he wrapped up the credit cards through the roof. She was flipping. She was flipping. And then I fucking got into comedy full time, really was working it. In the beginning, it was like... Fuck and suck in the whole thing. And then I...

Yeah, handing me a notebook. You're handing me a notebook and you're saying, just do me a favor. Whatever you do, whatever, just keep writing. write whatever and then we'll talk about it and then once in a while I would scribble something but in the meantime I'm taking you to all these different you needed to bring somebody to get on state right so 93 I get into trouble and I call you you're in trouble you had to go away for a while I wait for you to get out of your situation and now you and me are a team made in hell you got your

own product out of the country club and I got my own fucking problem. We're staying with grandma, but you and I both know it that we call each other once a month and talk about one of those nights at Grandma's house, because every night was an adventure at Grandma's house. It was me. Oh, my God. And I can tell you people right now, if you were, if we would have put that footage on tape, Seinfeld wouldn't have had a career right now. Nothing was funnier than that show. That's Grandma right there. And Lee's got some footage of grandma saying some racist stuff. We're going to dig up pretty soon.

Yeah, we had that when we fair. The documentary, she's the missing part of that documentary. She was. She was. My family, out of respect, they pulled it. But she passed, and I'm dying to see it because I got to tell you one thing. She was on the role that day. She was on a roll that day.

that day. So I move in with you in 93 and I'm cutting my teeth in comedy. Yeah. I'm cutting my teeth in comedy. I mean, I had stand-up comedy by Judy Carter. I lived on the bed.

You lived on the couch. We weren't even social distancing. I got my copy of Judy Carter right around my little bookshall. If somebody would have came into the room, they would have gone these two guys are gay because the beds are too close to one another. And I think I stayed with you for nine months from February to October of 80 of 94, 93.

And if I have to, like, you know, like what President Trump came on the news a couple weeks ago, and he goes, America's going to the toughest three weeks of your life. If it wasn't for the humor that was going on between our lives, I wouldn't have been here right now. that was the toughest time that was the toughest I ever worked in my life as a human being frustrated confused but I knew what I wanted do you know what I'm saying you were selling cars in the city you were getting pamphlets those though you were going to offices given those you know like like book in like your office to comes to a comedy the comic strip or whatever you

We're doing that thing, and you were going on stage. Any open mic. Any open mic. Any where. It was the work, I was leaving the house at 7.30 in the morning. Early, man. Because Mr. Rago used to drive the bus. And if I didn't take the 7 o'clock bus, I would have to pay a dollar.

I didn't even have the dollar to get on the bus. Mr. Rago will let me on the bus at 7.30 in the morning. I would go into the city I had one white shirt one white shirt but I wore the same shirt every day this is why when people come to me and tell me they're working and this is what I'm doing

I laugh because I know the results from hard work I was leaving my house at 7 I was working till I was at the car lap till 8 at 9 in between 8 and 9 I would run over to boxing gym. I paid $25 a month for a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I had a gym, and I had t-shirts, and a shirt there. So when I left 57th and 12th was where I worked. I worked on

57th and 12th, 11th Avenue down there at a Nissan de Massey Cadillac. And when I leave there, I would run to the gym, do a little faggy fucking workout, hit the bag, lifts and weights. I would put on stand-up comedy. clothes and I would bum around the clubs in the city and then when I got sick of selling cars I went to work at hashways at lunchtime yeah I would get up in Northborough listen to what I would do I would wake up in cliffside of grandmas and walk to where Essie lives to the to where that hotel where they built that hotel in Tunnelly Avenue yeah they had a gym there on this the third floor I had grown up with those kids. When I was a kid, their house, their father's business burned down

and my mother helped them. So they told me, you don't have to pay for the membership. Just come. Was it jumping? It was, no, it wasn't jumpers. These are two Cuban kids. This is on 67th Street and Tunley Avenue. There's a hotel there now. Just to show you the commitment of my work at that age. At that It was 1993. I was 30. I would get up at 8 and walk from Cliffside Park, New Jersey to 67th Street, down the hill, do a weightlifting workout, take a shower, walk up to hill to North Bergen, to hashways. I'd work and I'd work till two. I'd deliver sandwiches. And then I'd run to your house, take a shower and put a suit on, and I would go drive a limo.

Jeez, Christ, I don't remember the limo. Yeah, I drove a limo, and I would go to Fort Leaf. I would go to Inglewood Clips and pick up the newsreels for NBC News. I was working for a guy named Alan Stiglitz. I would go pick up the reels for NBC News, and I would bring them across the bridge, and that would give me 35 bucks already. So I would start.

I was hustling, like 150 to 200 cash and hashways. And then I would run home, make money selling coke going into the city for people. And then I would get in a delivery car. And then my rides would usually be at 1, 2.30 in the morning, 10. So I would just do open mics in between those. And then at 10, I would go to your old triple in and sign in for open mics and go back. back there and do deliveries

and before 4 a.m. I would get up at night. That was the end of my night. And I still remember being on that bed with you many a night. Like the nights I did take off it was because you were taken off. And we would try

to write jokes and I still remember the first joke we wrote together. It was about speakers. One of those good speakers that you are the homes. Home speakers. Something happened that the fuck, we wrote two jokes together.

This is our first joke. It was the Puerto Rican Day parade. The Puerto Rican Day parade. I think a boat, I think a boat crashed in the Hudson or something. Yes, that was our first joke. Forever. And how the Puerto Rican's used to,

where we lived there is the Hudson River. So the one side's New York, the other side's jersey but the Puerto Ricans and Cubans they used to picnic on the Jersey side of the Hudson in this beach that was like a foot and a half long and they would go in the water like fucking crazy like it was cleaner because it's on the jersey they thought it was like fucking the the it was a giant pipe with this black sludge coming out of it on thin and they would fucking float around like we're not in the Bronx anymore yeah It's not the Jersey Shore.

It's a fucking two feet or 18 inches of fucking black dirt sand. Oh, it's hilarious. But the first two jokes we wrote were about Puerto Rican Day Parade, the Puerto Rican Navy crashed into the ship. 400 Puerto Ricans in the Hudson. That's nothing new. That was the first joke. And the second joke was about the hell's angels were back.

One of those guys that John Gotti shot in the leg. Remember, they used to patrol the streets in New York with a little red asses. The Guardian Angels were back. And somebody put in the front page, the Guardian Angels are back. And we wrote a joke. The Guardian Angels are back. Time to put the bow speakers back in the windows or something like that. Those were our first two successful writing jokes.

And I think that me staying with you those eight months, It's like you and I could go hours about how we used to torture grandma, how one night you put the fan in the window. I was doing coke. I was doing Coke and you came in it too. You're like, why are you sweating? I'm like, shut up. I don't want grandma to know.

And you're like, no, don't worry. I brought you a sandwich. I brought your daily news. And you went to put the fan in the window and the fan fell out of the window. And even though it was just, oh, my God, and grandma came out. box band like what the fuck is going on and we're like grandma you know the deal here it's it's fucking play the win here every night you know grandma would had a big gong in the kitchen in the living room it was a big gun it was an Asian table top but it was like a giant gong it was a giant

fucking gun and it was hanging on the wall yeah and fucking I would wait for grandma to go to sleep and get comfy and I would see George tip-topping to the room to go do a bump and as soon as the door would lock I would get up and hit the barn with everything I got and lay back in bed and grandma would come out and go what the fuck just happened and then she'd look and she'd go where's George I don't know he's in the bathroom that motherfucker he's doing shit again and he'd run for the bathroom and that was the end of it George has been out but you know the part of his charm Coco is my grandma my grandmother father was from Panama so growing up I didn't have any you know I grew up in

Cliffside not diverse was Italian that was it my my you know but as I became a younger younger adult my my two best friends were a Cuban Coco and then I had Sammy Medina Puerto Rican whose father was the John Gotti of the Puerto Rican living in Anguwood Cliffs Sammy Medina God bless him now he's born again but he was crazy back then and those were my two my my my two buddies like you know i didn't have there was nobody close i never admitted i was spanish because they'd hear my grandmother talk and i just did italian italian but it's uh it's been a she loved him because she could talk spanish i would always talk spas to your grandma your grandma your grandma became my grandma was

was so important to her to be able to speak spats because again she's she's in a white she's a little bit of cliffside too there's no there's no one to talk to other than who you on the phone but she loved you more you know she she was always so proud man put a movie on and she'd be like that's not cocoa i'm going that's fucking cocoa and when i got the big screen tv oh when she saw you she grinned the year just like my mom. My mom, you know, my mom used to go early days to go see it. I remember hooking up with your mom in Dallas and her girlfriend. When she lived in Plano, Texas, she would come to see me at the Dallas. Yeah. Yeah. George, we got, we went over our time limits, but it's been a tremendous 41 years being your friend. If anybody ever wants to know anything about me,

the truth, this guy will tell you. This is why I brought him on, because he knows my strengths, my weaknesses, what I love, what I hate, and he knows I love him. We talk, what we talk, three times a day? At least. Every fucking day. You know, listen, I got to say I enjoyed the Stephen Avello and Dennis, you know, the stuff that I didn't know.

The stuff that I, you know, I didn't know you when you were younger. So, you know, it fills in the blanks. And what I want anyone to know is he's real. you know i see this fucking army and we went to you went to fucking uh gotham theater that the first night it truly hit me that you were you were on to something bigger than just you know you had a fucking army of people outside that got them theater we got out of the car we're blocking a half from the freaking club and people are walking up to you and as we got there it was just like 250 strong just chant your name and

And I was like, holy fuck. I mean, I was stolen as a league. I was the original test tube dose guy. He would dose me way before you. George. It was warming, George. George, it was. Oh, my God.

I would go to these shows trying to sell T-shirts. I didn't even know my name. Yeah. He would bring merch. I'd be like dribbling on myself. And you also got to know you became tight with Ralphie. You became family or Ralphie. I mean, we all go back with Ralphie to Northbury.

the hashways to get the rice pudding you know from ralphi uh you go back with gabriel ralphi was early comedy ralphi would come pick him up driving to the airport i didn't watch last comedy stand i had no fucking no idea no i just would pop out i didn't even know it was fat i even know it was fat he would said he was in a you know big escalator something you know i'd say hi hi hi how you doing and then when we became friends it was uh you know as close as he was to cocoa he treated me with every every every every bit of uh because he knew my story you know you knew my story and uh that's one guy you know truly miss truly truly tell these people that sometimes you don't really have to come out of your mom's womb to have a brother absolutely you've been

shown that and i've been shown that gift you know you you were my my big you're still my big i mean we're all 11 months apart but you know uh you know we think alike you know you give me advice i don't listen to it you get fucking mad a couple times you went a few months where you know you put me on knock off because you love me and because you you know you see i do some you know I think with my heart and on my brain sometimes. So, uh, but you always have me first. You always have me first.

I want my ex-wife loves you. My daughters, you know, you're just good to everybody. You know what I mean? You guys are all I got. You're a fucking fuck. No, I'm a cock sucker too, but you know what, man?

You're all I got. It's, uh, it's been a 40 year. People usually don't have fucking nothing. for 40 years. I've had a brother for 40 years and to make it official, let's just say 35 fucking years. So I love that you took the time to come on and just share a few stories to let these motherfuckers know

we weren't fucking around. This is real. Was it different time? And what Dennis said, loyalty, I'll give my right arm for you. I don't give a fuck at this point. You always have. We have. And I I give what I got and that's what we do. We don't always have, but what we got, we share because we love each other.

And, you know, no one's proud of you than me. Nobody. Man, nobody's proud of you than me, brother. When I'm in a fucking, I'm in quarantine here and I can count on my hands how many people check up, you know, and you'd be surprised

when, you know, I'm the my kid is not that far I see her but I go to bed alone every night and the people that I talk to is really important because you know it's the people I care about so

you're number one in my book always and you're number one in my book I love that fucking film of my grandmother Lee all right we'll get it out to you thank you for doing two parts thank you for doing the whole week I love them new I love you brother have a good one

you too we're back you dirty bitches I want to thank George again for laying it down listen like I tell you I got a thousand stories I can tell you but 10,000 I can't tell you we covered what we could today I just wanted to open

my world up to you guys to see how lucky I've been as a human being that listen guys these guys weren't my friends when I was at the comedy store these guys weren't my friends when I was in the set of the longest yard these guys weren't my friends when you know

I was in the southern of the sopranos these guys were my friends when people were calling me a spic when people call me a thief and where people were not saying nice things about me and I didn't deserve for them to say nice things about me but at the same time these guys were my friends when there was nothing there and they're the friends that matter in your fucking life believe it or not you know what I'm saying I learn this I see this every day I know who's my friend because of movies and I know the people I'll take a bullet off they'll take a bullet for me

and that's a very great thing to have in your life knowing I see the differences these are my childhood friends you know so I'm fortunate enough that they'll do me the favor and do these things they're not movie stars they're not fucking rock stars they're not fucking models that just blue-collar people exactly that I am exactly what you are what's up Lee I don't I this is new because I think a lot of people during this time are reaching out to people and it is nice but you've been doing this for years but how does it make you feel when you talk to one of these people like how do you feel after a conversation like 40 minutes with one of your friends from back then on the phone and every day yeah as soon as I get

off the phone I always ask myself I can't believe I still talk to them and I'll think of a, and I do it every day. There's always somebody, Conti, Duffy, I'm still supposed to call Abe, you know, my other friend James, Devo, a lot of people have asked me to put Devo on. I got to call him and ask him if he'll come on. But how does it make me feel like a rich man?

Like a lot of people think having money makes you feel good and all this shit. I know a ton of people that have tons of money. and they don't have the relationships I have with my friends to where I do. And then you got to remember, like, George has been there. You know, George ran away at two open mics. Like, he went to two, he said it. That's crazy.

He left me at two open mics. He left me at 1 on 127 Street. You know, that's how long I've known, George, you know. Steve of Villo, I didn't see in the beginning of comedy. but he knew what I was doing, and Dennis knew what I was doing, you know. And when I put Joey Falado on, his cousin was there. A lot of people remember, you know, Mike Ascley's Devo, who were talking about, a lot of people, he turned me on to David Letterman.

And I would go to his house every night and watch David Lederman and watch all the comedians on David Letterman. So these are the people that have been there with me since day one. I feel great. I feel great. I still have the ability to talk to them. They also know all the bad things I did, and they talk to me

because they know the reasons why I did them, and it's forgiven. It's a known, it's forgiven, it's done. It doesn't matter. It's not where you start the journey. It's where you ended. You know what? A lot of you have a lot of friends

that were way ahead of you. Went to college, got married, got houses, You felt insecure, and all of a sudden, they discovered crack. You had already done crack when you were 13. You moved on with your life. And also, here they are, living at a bus station, and here you are, you own a house now, because it's not really where you start.

It's where you fucking end. And that's the lesson for this motherfucker week. Don't forget tonight, UFC bitches, my bookie. Dot AG. What's the code? Joey, right? Joey. Listen, it's not about fucking money.

I'm just helping you motherfuckers out so you can make some cash tonight. My bookie.orgie.orgie. You make a little money. You got something to watch tonight. How good is that? You got something to watch on a Wednesday night? Jesus Christ.

You ever try to watch TV at night? Listen, I get so fucking depressed at night. I don't even go into the TV room. Like, there's times I go into the TV room and the TV is off. My wife is reading a fucking. book. That's how like we gave up on the TV.

I didn't watch Ozarks. I didn't watch Exotic Joe. I don't want to watch none of that shit. I don't really want to get involved. I wanted to see who the fuck I was. For the first time, in a long time, I got to have a long talk with myself. What was the last time

you had a long talk with yourself? I have one this weekend. See where you end up. You know what I'm saying? You need to have a long talk with yourself. The unemployment check hasn't come. The landlord keeps throwing daggers at you. You know what I'm saying? He's about to light the building on fire because you and your two other buddies haven't paid the rent.

But you don't give a fuck. There's no debt is prison. Take care of your health. Take care of your mind. Take care of your body. And I promise you this will pass. I don't give a fuck. How many times they extend it? I don't give a fuck.

We're going to make it through this, all right? I love you motherfuckers with all my heart. But real quick, I got a couple of things I got to talk to you about. Number one. you gotta shave your nuts. All right. I'm sick and fucking just because it's depression,ville,

and just because you're not going to see a chick, don't mean you're going to leave your bush down there to grow untame and your dick to smell like a fucking Joe exotic, whatever his fucking name is. Right now, right now is the time to wash your balls. You know it's number one cure of depression

washing your balls. If you were, I'm so depressed, I can't masturbate. Take that fucking bongo dick out and tell Mama to show you her titties and bang one out. That's what gets you fucking undepressed, you fucking piece of shit.

People get depressed, get depressed because yes, it's a disease and it's a whatever. But you let yourself slide into that. You see yourself sliding into that. Get in the shower. Get in the car. Go full walk. Talk to people.

Number one, shave your balls. I find that to be the number one cure for depression, shaving your fucking nutsack. And I'm no psychiatrist. But I tell you, but think about it. Even if you're a woman, you're depressed. You're like, I haven't gotten cock in a year.

Well, start by looking at your pussy. You know what? I forgot. I got a nice-looking little pussy. Well, you too, guys. You got a nice-looking little dick, but you got to shave around that needs some fucking trimming.

And right now, man-scape is the time to do it. If you're going to trim your balls, what do you got? You got no baseball. You got no basketball. You got the UFC tonight. That's a perfect night to shave your nuts in between rounds. Really? Just take your dick out with the men.

Right there. pick up a nut, zz. Then you split some revival on those fucking things and slap them around. Remember when you were a kid, the fucking barber would put like alcohol on your neck after he fucking shave. They don't do that no more because they're a bunch of fucking jerkoffs. But after you shave your nuts, you get like the reviving, you fucking take your nutsack and you squeeze them, let them fill in there and squeeze. Remember that little bach, quack, quack, quack, quack, the little ball you used to have at the end of your bicycle like that. Put some of that on there. and the fucking crop preserver.

And that's what you get with the perfect package. Listen, I'm going to tell you again, fucking a lawmower 3.0 is the best razor system you're going to ever own in your life. And it's waterproof so you can use it in the shower. After you bang one out, there you go. Zit, dip. Your dick is ready to go.

I mean, this thing is juiced with 7,000 RPM motor and a battery that lasts up to 90 minutes. USB charging and LED light so you can see into all those nooks and crannies. I told you, motherfuckers, I'm not lying to you. And if you get the perfect package today, they're going to send you the loan more plus the crop preserver

so your balls won't stick together, plus the reviver so they'll smell like fucking flowers the way my nut. You want to smell my nuts? You want to smell my nuts. No, don't say sure because then this podcast will go into a different category. And now you can subscribe. Get a new blade every three months. That's how you keep your balls extra clean.

New, nice blades. And they'll throw in two of my favorite thing. A pair of anti-shafing boxes. And ready for this? The travel bag, which has little zipper inside. In the back, it's dark. You didn't hear from me. Listen, do yourself a favor.

This is for the church family. Go to maniscape.com. Pressing code. Joey. J-O-E-Y and get 20% off of free shipping. That's how I'm taking care of you today on Wednesday. 20% off of free shipping, and I don't give a fuck of you a mother, okay?

That's Joey at manscape.com for 20% off and free shipping. Now you got a nice looking dick. What are you going to do with it? What are you a fancy suit for, Charlie, if you got no job to wear it to? Same thing applies. Listen, remember when your dick used to get hard? Remember?

When you would just be fucking want? like sports center and you'd be watching Leslie Vista whatever her name was with a little red hair dude and you know she doesn't throw a good blow job but you look like it going fuck it I would like that Leslie to suck my dick right now it's 1108 she's talking about basketball fuck it but now you can't do that you know why because you don't have confidences you're in yourself because you got a weak wood I got the same problem what am I gonna waste this game I got game I got game bitches but I can't be wasted because I can't give you the dick.

I can't cover this bread like I used to, but I'm 24. But now I can, thank God, to Blue Chew. Fucking tremendous. It's the first chewable dick pill, which means it works fast. All right. What do you mean, Joey? Fast. Fast! Blue Chew has the same FDA-approved active ingredients as Viagra and Cialis.

And this isn't the horny goat weed you get from down the fucking convenience store. Blue Chew is a prescribed online by licensed physicians. So you don't have to go to the doctor's office or wait in line at the pharmacy. And it ships right to your door in a discreet package. Nobody knows nothing. And since Bluetooth ships direct, they're cheaper than the pharmacy. Listen to me. Come on.

And the best thing of everything, there's no awkwardness. Why? Because you don't have to go to a doctor. You don't have to explain yourself. but Joey what's so good about a chewable dick pill that you can take it any time day and night even on a full stomach and since they're chewable they work up twice as fast as a pill

turn your fucking piece of shit dick into a mazorati you've been looking at it for fucking too long being ashamed like I did I was ashamed for a long time after my little fucking accident and my dick wasn't getting hard you think that's gonna stop the savage fuck no I mean, I eat pussy like a fucking, like a throwdown. But I need to shoot a fucking scudu-d-to from time to time.

If not, my blood pressure goes up. I'm telling you, you should do the same right now. Right now, turn that fucking dick into a savage. Go to the church family. Go to bluechoo.com. That's blue. B-L-U-E-C-H-E-U.com. E-W.

I'm sorry. What did I say? You. Whatever. EW and get your first shipment free. You just pay $5 for shipping. Is that good at it or what? You fill out some papers.

You go to the bluechew.com. You answer some questions. Fill out some papers. You answer some questions. You fucking talk to the doctor. A couple days later, boom! There they are in the mail. You're slinging dick like fucking Mike Double X,

whatever's name is. I don't know. They're good looking dude. it doesn't really matter it's time for you to get back on your game and sling some dick you gotta give somebody a good quarantine stabbing you know what I'm saying

calling back two days later and go we're going out for drinks fuck no I'm still recovering from that quarantine dick you gave me two days ago it's like I got passed around in a prison if you want your dick

to be that hard blue chew.com all right get your first shipment free when you press code church. And that's it. Pay $5 for chipping. Hit that blue chute dog.

Thank you. Thank you for listening. Thank you for George. Thank you for Manscaped. I want to thank my bookie. Don't forget. Tonight my bookie's going to make you some money. You got DeSherra.

DeShera against fucking Anthony. Yeah. I forget. I don't know the whole fucking lineup. I'm telling you, I'm confused with three times for I'm doing this homeschooling. It's throwing me all all. Dates, I don't got nothing. You're getting your money back from Live Nation

for fucking Dallas and whatever. Take it all back, guys. Right now, we're going to start from scratch. Hopefully when the improv opens up in Brea, I'll be doing my bi-weekly Tuesday night show, getting my

chops back, and you guys will be a part of it. Until then, stay in, stay safe. Don't let nobody breathe on you. Don't let nobody fuck with you. And I love you. Have a great weekend. See you Monday morning. Tip top. Motherfucking Magoo.