The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #787 - Gina Brillon

Episode Date: May 18, 2020

Gina Brillon, a comedian and actor who has toured with past guest Gabriel Iglesias, has multiple comedy specials including one for HBO and a new one for Amazon coming soon, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live via Zoom. This podcast is brought to you by: MyBookie.ag -  Use code promo joey to get a 50% match on your first deposit up to $1,000.  Express VPN - Get 3 months free at www.expressvpn.com/church  

Greetings from Podcastville, you dirty motherfuckers. It's Monday the 18th of May. The church is brought to you by my bookie. Listen, I got a public service announcing for you. Stay the fucking side. Not all fucking day. I don't want you to become Johnny Malt either. Go outside, take a stretch.

Vitamin D is very important. Stay away from people. If they're immigrants across the street, you know, shit like that. But from, from. staying inside. I'm going to introduce you to something. You haven't been introduced during years. You're ready for this? Geography. You're like Joey, geography. What are you talking about? I'm talking about the wide world of sports. That's what my book he's working with. Gooden Tag from Germany. Bundeliska. Bundelisga. Bundeliga. I don't want to say no German words in front

of league. That's all the soul for the church. He said he said he's a good tongue. What is it? Gooden Tag. What's that mean? It means German. I don't know. All right. This means stay away from Jews. Gooden Tag from Germany and Bulldelega. Soccer is back in South Korea and Taiwan. They got baseball stealing three like the L.A. riots. You know what I'm saying?

And the ponies are back at Churchill Downs, San Anita Park, Tampa Bay, and Gulfstream. And this week, you ready for this? Wednesday, NASCAR is back. So listen, don't come to me fucking crying. You can't make a buck. You can't flip a dollar. Your exorcet dealer got fucking arrested and who went. I don't want to hear any of your stories.

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This is the year of the fucking soldier. We're going in like fucking Marines. Welcome to church, motherfucker. Are you kidding me or what? Monday morning. Who's better than you? It's a whole new week. It's a whole new set of fucking dilemmas.

But you wipe your ass with this shit. You've been living through this shift through two months already. So, fuck it. Enough is enough. It was a great weekend. I got to go to a fucking beach with my daughter. Very nice. My wife used to be friends with a fucking other waitress.

That was a lifeguard at the beach 10 years, 20 years ago. And she would tell my wife were beaches to go to there. Nobody goes. And those are the beaches I go. You know the people at my beach yesterday? eight I was living like Jacqueline on Anastis you should have seen me scratching my balls I even got up and pissed

on the beach at one time because it was too cold to go into the water I went to the water I went to the water I thought I went into the water I thought it was fucking freezing in there you know when you put your feet in and all of a sudden your ball shrink up that's exactly what fucking happens you just peed on the sand you know me I don't give a fuck oh as long as there's a wind and a protector I put my wife in front of me I took my dick out the right side of my shorts and I squirt a little bit hit the left the left

like, but fuck it. It's good for the skin from time to time. You got to pee on people. Do you at least draw something in the sand? Yeah, I sit there and draw a penguin and, you know. What the fuck? I just pee. I don't give a fuck. You got shit to do and people to see.

That's a great week. I'm smoking some C-33 from fucking urban trees. That's how I do it. You know me. I'm on urban trees because they take care of me. No fucking two ways about it. crowd therapy starts up Tuesday shit starting to open up people uh you know i know know texas you people selling shit you're drinking you're smoking but you're also going to the

hospital you got the fucking whatever so you have to pick your fucking maker you want to go on snort coke or you want covid 19 you know it's up to you me i play it safe texas a big state a lot of people a lot of people go out the bars you know more people go out the dinner in houston texas than anywhere else in the country wow So, and what's the number fattest fucking county in the city in the country? And what's number two? Dallas. So, you know, you can't control fat fucking people.

You know, they're in Dallas and Houston COVID themselves in debt. They're going to be more truck drivers picking up bodies in the next fucking three weeks. That Armenian's going to go out of business down there. The 600-pound man, he's going down. That show's getting canceled because all those guys are going to go out. They're going to sneak out at night. They got a cheeseburger at Wendy's and just keel the fuck over. I think Wendy's is out of cheeseburger.

No, they got back. They made the call. They made the call. They made the call. They got that fucking, they got that leftover Katrina cows from fucking. They were just sitting there freezing. In the ocean? Yeah, people eat Katrina.

You go to Wendy's, all of a sudden nerds to draw a sign. You know what I'm saying? I, during this whole thing, have not been involved in any stupidity on Netflix. or whatever. I think I watched a half a special and I watch a couple of old things. I've been watching a lot of YouTube. But the one thing I have watched

that people have made conversations about and it's been weird to watch. It's the last dance with Michael Jordan. I've watched all 10 episodes. And I got to tell you something. First of all, I was a fan of his since he won me money his freshman year in college. Once you win me money when you're a freshman, you got me.

You know what I'm saying? It's like the idiots that were Adam Sandler fans in college. Now they're still like 30% of the stuff. He retained me. He always retained me as a fan. I can't sit here and tell you I made money with him on the Bulls. When he was playing for the Bulls, I was snorting Bulls. You know what I'm saying?

I was snorting Coke rocks and shit. I wasn't. But I was paying attention. I was watching the games. And everything I heard on there, nothing really surprised me. like the way people would react on Monday mornings where he would be trending I would read them and nothing would really

you know Isaiah Thomas is always a little fucking cunt he got smacked like eight times in the fucking league you know and magic he got up to magic and kissed magic before the game magic was a great player with the HIV but magic had one fucking bump okay anytime you were eating magic's ass he got magically hurt you know what I'm saying like Whenever you were like taking them to the hoop and beating them up a little bit, you would always get hurt.

I didn't even make a face. You know, that black pain face like, like, you know, it's too hot out of here. I'm a slave. That type of face, like, fucking, you know, I need this shit in my life. I got to feel bad now. I got to think I ain't blinking while I'm watching the fucking game now. So, you know, people raise their hands and talk shit.

But I got to tell you something, man. I understand it. You know, to do the things Michael Jordan did, for anybody to be that successful in any aspect of life, there's going to be certain people that are not going to like how you, your system operandi, because it goes exactly, exactly as different as everybody else's.

You know, when you think it's important to be with your girlfriend, he thinks it's important to be at the gym, taking jump shots at 11.30 at night. and when it's time to play it's time to play you know a lot of people were fucking concerned they were like you wouldn't let horace grant eat on the plane Lee how many times I tell you you wait that did you earn it you gotta justify your existence in my motherfucking world you know you know Bill Burrs the the Joe Rogans the the cat Williams

you see this persona to them but When it comes to work, challenge them on their comedy and watch their real colors come out. They're not going to see. They're not going to be the person you see on that podcast. And it's the same thing with me. I'm a happy-go-lucky guy. But when it comes to work, I don't give a fuck of your mother died. You know, on Michael Jordan's father's day, he won a championship, you know.

When he was sick, when he ate the fucking pizza, late at night and three in the morning, and he had 110 fever and he couldn't fucking play. He ended up scoring 38 games. You know, the quarterback, the white guy that was sending a picture of his dick. His father died. He threw five touchdowns in one game. You know, you to be that type of person to come through constantly like that, it takes a... You think right now I miss stand-up, I'd love to sit here and tell you that, you know,

I'm going to move to fucking Brazil because they're doing open mics I don't give a fuck I've done 29 fucking years of stand-up right now I'm taking a breathing I'm taking stuff in I'm looking stuff in I'm looking around you know

I know how hard I worked those 29 years you have no idea and sacrifice sacrifice you know I didn't do most things people did I didn't because I didn't first of all between you and I didn't want And number two, if your thing was on a Saturday, there's comedy on Saturday. And guess what?

If your thing was on a Monday, I got comedy on Monday, too. I was not a very nice person when it came to, I love comics or like, hey, Lee's doing a showcase at the Improv tonight. You should come in support. Fuck Lee. Lee's got to support himself. Lee's got to get his audience down there. You know, me going down, they're going to do dickfully. You know?

I'm way very much against that. And Lee will tell you that I'm a nice guy. I'm generous. I got a great heart. When it comes to getting down, I get down. I don't give a fuck. You know, you got to get up. You got to get up.

8.30, 8.15, 7.30. You got to get up. When we first started this podcast, we started at 6, because I read an expert and an excerpt that fucking, what's his name? He used to start his radio early to get the year before. anybody else did. Do we started six? We did? A lot of nights I went to bed at two.

Got up at 4.45. This poor bastard wouldn't sleep the night and get up there. But I had something to say, and I wanted to fucking say it, and I wanted to say that six in the fucking morning. Let me smoke this joint piece for a minute here. You know what I'm trying to get my head together. But people didn't agree

with half of his tactics and shit. Hey, man. I tell you, I lost friends because of comedy. I've lost more friends that I've made because of comedy. every year that I get something else, I lose a friend. And then there's times I'm stuck with somebody, and I see that they're stuck, and I'll lose them.

I get rid of them. I get rid of them. There's a particular agent I stopped talking to them. My career blew up because I stopped listening to him. You know, you have to take matters into your own hands in the time. There's so much. Brogan can teach you, so much Bill Burke can teach you, CEO, myself. There's so much all these people can teach you,

but you have to take control. When Michael Jordan had his back against the wall, you know what, he didn't give a fuck about Pippman or anything else. You know, he said something, I think, in episode four, in episode two, when he was a rookie, he goes, who whose fucking hands do you want the ball on with five seconds left, Bill Cartwright or me. You know, it's an egotistical way to think.

If you look at it that way, but he's playing for a team. He's thinking about the fucking team. So it was very interesting to watch. I don't know if you're into sports. I don't know if you're into Michael Jordan. I don't know what the fuck you're into. But no matter what you're into, you got to watch a guy like this. And why he won five championships and why he won seven MVP.

and defensive player awards. There's a reason. It wasn't because he came out of his mom's snatch with a fucking basketball. It was because he worked at it. He believed at it. And he committed everything he had to it. He didn't give a fuck.

He didn't give a fuck. He didn't give a fuck about your feelings while he was winning. He's there to do one thing. And that's when. I don't know about none. I know about no after party. I don't know about selling shirts afterwards. I don't know about a smoke fest

I don't know nothing All I know about these two shows I got to do at 8 and at 10 o'clock And how I got to kill these two fucking shows And what do I have to do not to kill These two shows? I got to avoid these things I can't eat in between shows

I don't want no fucking fucked up Language in the green room In between shows People talking about Oh Some little girl that was six got raped Now I really want to go out and do comedy Not really

What I'm saying? Not really So this all goes through it. There's a mental toughness. To be Michael Jordan, you just don't play basketball every day. You have to play through fucking pain. And to be a Michael Jordan in any field, whether you're an editor, a plumber, a fucking,

a banker, wherever the fuck you are. You want to be CEO. That's how you become CEO. This guy's working 12 hours. You've got to work 13 and a half. I mean, I was too young. I was about eight when he was finishing up that run. But it was interesting to watch for a lot of reasons.

A lot of me wants to be, like, I wish I had more of that in me, but I also know. Everybody's got to listen. Everybody's got it in a little. Everybody has got it in them. From the ages of one to 17, I was completely opposite to when I was to this. I had a completely different mindset of what the world was and I had a completely different attitude. That first 18 months after my mother died

leading up to the fifth year, which I just spoke about on the Cicler podcast, about 1984, taught me one thing. It's not Lee's fault that I'm not doing this. Oh, fucking Steve Simone said he was going to get me your job with the union laborers. It's what? It was always everybody else's fault. Your life is going to move forward when you take control of your life. If you can't do one fucking simple thing you're supposed to do every day, how are you going to be an enter? I don't know. Why you lie? What do you

have a picture of a mazorati on your wall? Like one day, I'm going to drive a mazorati. How are you going to get to that mazorati? What things are you going to do? Last I checked, you can't even wake up at 9 in the fucking morning. Last I checked. I called you three times last week and you were still asleep at 10.30. How the fuck you're gonna get a Maserati? People driving Maserati, I didn't sleep

at 10.30 in the morning. I'll tell you that much. You know why? Because they want two Maseratis. So when you look at people like Michael Jordan, your life has to be a certain way, whether you like it or not. If you, you know, one of our dear friends left last

week and he called me. I think I told you guys. He called. He was crying. I was crying. And he goes, he's really embarrassed. And I go, you gave it 22 years in this town. You came on on a Showtime show.

You were a regular at the store. I feel bad for the guy in fucking Nebraska. That was just as funny as you. And he's got a laborer's job today. And he works part-time at Cookies Lounge as a doorman because he was too scared. Because he was discouraged. Because somebody talked to him out of being a con. because somebody told him he wasn't funny enough.

For every fucking one Rick that had to go back after 22 years, because look at the situation we're living in right now, obviously there's nothing fucking going on. So I feel bad for the people who don't live out their dreams. You come out here, you give it a fucking real shot. I see you out every night fighting. I'm not talking about drinking. I'm here.

What's the word? Networking. Networking. I'm talking about you just did three. spots. I see the name on flies. I see you got an open mic and Willen Hills on Monday night that pays nothing. You do it on the way home at 10 o'clock on Tuesdays. I know you're on to something. And then if I see that nothing happens for you the first year. And then the second year, you come out more tenaciously and nothing's coming out for you, but you got a manager out of

the deal. You did something. You accomplished something. Yeah, but Joey, it took me 18 months. Listen, there's people telling you that they're going to move to L.A. You get those people? In 24 months, I'm going to move to LA, be a star. Really? What's going to be different than 24 months than today? Well, I'm going to get a job and put away money. I got here with $160 in my pocket.

Living in an RV and Stanhope gave me another 100 that he owed me from New Year's Eve, opening for him at some fucking comedy club in Seattle. So I'll know what you people are talking about anymore. We're going through hard times right now. This gives you a second chance. This isn't a fucking plague or a pandemic. I want you to look at this as a second chance for you guys to do what the fuck you really wanted to.

You got thrown off track. Now you could use this as an excuse. It didn't work because fucking, but now this is when you come back. You come back even stronger. You saw what you went through. You saw that you didn't get your unemployment. appointment when you were supposed to get it.

You're still waiting for your stimulus check. You get your check yet? Not yet. Now, these are all the things you fucking learn about. So you're going to come back a lot stronger than this. I know you're sitting there right now feeling it, saying, look at fucking Joey, talking about Michael Jordan. I'm telling you this to get to tell you that all he is could be Michael Jordan's. We all have it in this.

You have to become tenacious and you have to become ruthless and you have to love what you do and you have to fucking dream, shit it. When you're wiping your ass, you got to think about it. The other thing I like to about Michael Jordan is anybody who fucked with him

at any level at all. He fucked him up. He fucked them up. And he fucked them up mentally that they couldn't move against him again. He fucked them up mentally. He went after him mentally. He would tell you the night before.

Like, he'd tell you when you walked in, whatever. No, this was, this, it wasn't, and it wasn't even like McGregor-style trash talking. It was talking from the heart what he was going to do to you. And then he'd prove it the next fucking night. So I said to you, again, you could sit there and watch Michael George and say he was this, he was that. No, he was a word called tenacious. And when you realize that this world is fucking cold and it don't give you dick, you got to become tenacious.

and maybe at 21 or maybe at 44. I knew this world wasn't giving you dick at the age of 25. In 1984, I learned the hard way that the world don't owe you dick. So if you're sitting there waiting for somebody to get, yeah, my cousin's friend's going to get me a job, but Con Edison, sure he is. And if you play this fucking, if you suck my balls, it'll smell like jingle bells. You know, nothing's going to happen. If you don't grab control of it and make it happen, cock suckers,

ain't nothing going to happen. It's Monday fucking morning. We're here we're queer and we don't give two freshmen fuck. You know what I'm saying? If it ain't one thing, it's the other. We've all been down through this. You know, we have five good days and two bad days.

I'm with you. I'm watching all of you's Ooki, you know, fucking hubster. I'm watching all you motherfuckers. We all have five good days and two bad days. And the two bad days we have it because we live in our heads. Get out of your heads.

Who gives a fuck whatever happened 20 years ago? You can't change it now. This joint is tremendous. I'm loving fucking smoking this. We got a great interview today with you. This girl is, she opened up for Fluffy on like 50 fucking tour dates. She's got a special coming out or it came out. I forget the name of it.

I saw a set of hers and I fell in love with her. And then somebody contacted me and said she wanted to come on the podcast to promote the special. Can you find out what the name of my special is when it comes out? I want to give it justice. This poor girl is a fucking sweetheart and a half. I'm just too stone to remember shit, and I can't read my handwriting. I believe it's called the floor is lava. Okay.

Let me just check. But she's a sweet girl, and I'm sorry they're fucking, you know, Zoom podcast, but that's the fucking new thing, you know. I'm not crazy about it either. Now I opened up myself to Zoom Everybody wants to fucking Zoom I can't stand it But if it entertains you people

And it gets the story across You know I'm here to do Whatever the fuck I gotta do For you cock suckers Yeah She has one on HBO Latino Right Already but then the Amazon Prime video one

It's called LaFour's lava And when does it come out? It says soon coming soon All right so do me a favor Sit back Enjoy Gina And we'll see in the couple minutes. Kick this fucking meal. Lee.

Where's the edible's at? Oh shit. The church, what's happened now? We'll love to welcome. My little Puerto Rican princess out of fucking the boogie down. Gina Breon. What's happening, beautiful? I'm good. How you doing? You know, trying to put

the pieces together out here with these fucking white people with no mask on. Breathing that fucking woo hand breath on you. You got to worry. But, hey, life is beautiful. You got a little baby girl coming. God bless you and your family. I got a little baby boy coming.

I was hoping for a baby girl, though. I'm not going to lie to you. Nah, you got, God punishes. You know what I'm saying? They always give you the opposite. They know exactly what you fucking feel. You know, she's getting ready to leave. And she has a break between 10, 30 and 11 at school.

So she runs into the office and sits on my lap, regardless if I'm on the phone with Obama, regardless if I'm fucking, you know, You don't give a fuck Who is in detail with me Who I'm on the phone with She just sits there And right about when I'm ready to say

Mercy what the fuck I look at her and I think of my mother And I think of what I put my mother through Like my mother would be on the phone I'd be banging bongos and shit To get her attention Lighting her toes on fire You know

Oh yeah Anything to get attention Anything to get attention How long you've been doing comedy for I started when I was seven 17, so about 22, 23 years now. No shit. Where'd you start at?

I started doing a lot of the little rooms in the Bronx. I started on the Latino circuit in New York. So with a lot of guys like Angelo Lazzata, Arnold Acevedo, Mike Robelaz, like a lot of those guys from the New York scene. Like, I would see them a lot. Doing the little, like we did the Latino Chitlin circuit. We did all the little Latin rooms in the Bronx. We did Side Street. We did. Every little room I could do, every bar, restaurant that would let me in, even though I was underage, they didn't care.

They were just like, just don't go by the bar. Just get on stage and you can do five minutes. And now you got a special coming, right? Yeah, I got a special coming out on Amazon soon. I've one on HBO now. And my very first special that I ever did, which was produced actually by a good friend of both of ours, Mr. Gabriel Iglesias. The first special I did was specifically speaking. Right, that's right, because he spoke to me about you when he was on the podcast a couple months ago. Gabe is a good kid. Gabe is a blessing to the community.

He's one of the very few. I got a call the other day from a comic. That whole school over there is very down to earth. I got a call from a comic that Joe Coy called him out of the blue and said, send me the bills you got for the month. I want to pay them. You know, those guys do things like that that, you know, we all do in certain different aspects.

We all have good hearts in certain different aspects, you know. He's been one of those guys for me, and I'm so thankful. One thing he told me was, you know, after, you know, doing something like so kind for me, I was like, I can never pay you back for this. He was like, you can pay me back by doing this for somebody when you get the chance. and it just blows my mind the kindness. That's words to live by.

Gabriel knows that part of comedy after a certain level is 50% stage and 50% how you act towards young comics and how you compose yourself. Like, I realized this last time when I went to the store, after not going there for seven years, I was a different person. so I had to act a different way as stupid as the sounds you know I have to set an example in the way I set a bad example right off the bat by getting into a fist fight up there but that's just to let motherfuckers know him back

you got to light somebody up no sometimes you just got to let motherfuckers know and that's exactly why I did at the comedy store do I regret it yes because I'm supposed to act a certain way being my age and how long I've been doing comedy and stuff. And that's also part of it is encouraging comics.

Encouraging comics the same way. I had brilliant comics encourage me, you know. And they were honest with me, which, you know, I don't like smoke being blown up my ass. No. Nothing feels worse. When you have a bad set and they tell you, you had a good set. And you're like, man, I don't even want you around me no more.

You know when you didn't have a good set. You don't got to tell me I just ate it up there. I already know. I asked a comic in the beginning of my career. I was working with this guy, Jim Andrinos, and I was opening for him. And I asked him. And it was, I wanted an honest answer and I got it. I said, do you think I'm a good comic?

And he went, no, but you will be. And it was the most honest anybody in the business had ever been with me. And I didn't take it personal. I knew what he was talking about. I didn't have enough experience. I knew to stay in my lane early on. Like stay in my lane. I needed to learn the lessons.

I think a lot of the comics you meet now, some of them are in such a rush to get to that next level when they don't even know what it entails. Well, they don't know what it takes. It's better to want them to have. Yeah. When you're a second year comic,

you can't wait to do this, this and this and this. And not only is, comics, but only as human, even as human beings, we do things. I always talk about that tape where Jamie Fox destroys Doug Williams, okay? That's something that I like Doug. I think Doug's a great kid. Doug put me on his show. But if you look at that night, Doug didn't belong there. And since I got here, day one, I used to always have a saying, don't go where you don't belong. If you're not doing a spot there, don't go there. Yeah, but you have to, what's the word they say?

What's the word they say? You have to network. You network on stage. If you kill on stage, the word gets out. Networking, don't do nothing. You're just mingling with another bunch of losers that ain't doing nothing. They're just talking. So that's the good thing to have around comedy. is to, A, put yourself around people who you respect and they watch your back. But the second thing is what you said, staying in your lane. When you don't stay in your lane, that's when catastrophes happen. And they set you back three lanes. Young comics don't understand that.

No. And listen, I still remember doing a weekend as a feature and trying to, a showcase at Charlotte as a headliner and waiting all day, but I didn't remember that Charlotte on Sundays was a black night. So here I was showcasing in a black night, you know, these are mistakes you make along the way. I remember bombing so hard. I went right from the club in Charlotte, right to the airport, and I never even thought of Charlotte again, you know, nothing. Those bombs teach you something, though. I headlined way too early in my career in Jersey. and I thought, you know, you get cocky because people book you as a headliner way before you're ready.

Bob Gonzo? It was in Jersey. I can't remember where it was. Bob Gonzo always runs Jersey. Good man. Most likely, most likely because I was booked with a co-headliner and this guy had a following and he had a frat boy following. So they made him go first and I had to follow him. And he's murdering.

He's destroying. And I get up on stage and they could have cared. I ate it up there for 30 minutes and I had someone come to tape it. I was so excited. How embarrassing? I was like, I never want to highlight again. How embarrassing when you tape something and you pay the person

and they look at you on the face because they're nice people and they go, what do you want me to do with this tape? And you're like, I would like for you to shove it up your fucking ass. Like you want to tell them that. Like, well, we can save a tidbit from it. No, you can't. There's nothing to say it's garbage. There's none the same. I ate it. There was nothing. Just pure silence, nothing.

Where were you raised? I was raised in the South Bronx. I was raised in the near the Soundview area of the South Bronx. Like all the way down by the water. If you're from the Bronx, then you know, class and point, Harding Park area, like all the way down there. I'm glad I came from that area. I think, like, coming from an area like that, like, it teaches you a lot of street smarts that helped me in stand-up, just being more aware of who to be around and who to avoid by reading people. I think like people that grew up, like maybe hood people, you learn how to read people so you know when, okay, this situation, I need to walk out of this situation.

It's weird because I spent my like four to six in the Bronx. My mom had a numbers operation, but it was a dry cleaners. And the bank was upstairs. And I remember it was Tremont Avenue, quality cleaners. and the train was real close by. I could run to the corner. And on the corner, there was an Italian pizza place that to me at that age was like Disneyland, you know?

I lived on 88th Street. This was the Bronx, you know? Yeah, yeah. And they used to make, like, ice cream sherbert with Sprite and mix it up and give it to you. I mean, the Bronx is just the Bronx. It is. And I could be...

I went to high school there. Went to high school right at Lehman. Okay. Now, where's the Whit Clinton? The Wick Clinton, I want to say... I want to say it's in the hundreds, like in the Bronx, but it's in like, I want to say, like, maybe... Like, that was the powerhouse when I was growing up.

That's where the good basketball. Like that he used to talk about the Clinton. The Whit Clinton was where Bush Lee went. That's where... Yeah. We were a basketball player. He went to DeWitt Clinton. That was a spot.

Yeah, that was a known school. That was a known school for a long time. There was the gangs. I'm 57, Gina. So the Bronx in 1968 was run by gangs. That movie The Warriors, that was, and my neighborhood who was run by the gang called

the Royal Javelins. Really? They had a little spot. They didn't sling drugs. in those days. All they do is fight for turf. Yeah. That's it. Who's got balls to cross the street today? You do.

You're crossing the street to get into a fist fight. That's it. There was no money. There was no bitches. They were just fighting. I never understood that. There was the Harlem brothers. Yeah, my dad used to talk. My dad was a real he is a real, like even to this day, my dad can't stop running his mouth. But

like, my dad was a real like kind of like a little hoodlum kid for a little while he would fight he was the only Puerto Rican in an Irish neighborhood at the time he fought every day yeah he would get jumped or beat up every day and when you're in an Irish neighbor you got to fight all three brothers and a fat sister

you always got a fat sister you got to end up knocking her out this before domestic violence when you were allowed to beat the sister up that bitch would come at you with like a pot boom knockout down. It's not like freckles everywhere. He would fight these

people. No, it's a grind up there. Yeah. You know, when Puerto Ricans come in, they got to fight for what they get. Then they get the respect. Then one day you go, what's that good smell coming out of the third floor? You know, like, what's that smell up on the

third floor? And that changes everything. That means that shit, they're making a roland gandulez, Arro Amarillo, it's a chicha. I love all this. That was my mom's specialty. She used to make rice with sanchichas, and I used to freaking love, I used to love it so much.

That's Spanish poor food. That's nice seasoned yellow rice with red peppers and Vienna sausages. Cut some more. That's Thursday night dinner before Friday's big paycheck. Friday you eat good, but Thursday, it's rice with fucking. Chichita, whether you're liking them out, bitch, with an egg on top. Protein and shit. They took care of you.

This ain't no fucking habachi. What's the name of that? Place I got sued by McDonald's. Chipotle and shit like that. No, this was like real authentic. And to this day, my mom's a beast in the kitchen. Like, my mom is amazing. You still tight with moms?

Oh, yeah. I'm tight with my whole family. Me and my mom are so, like, we text. My mom writes me letters still. So she lives in Maryland. Okay. And I'm still in New York. So she'll write me a letter and mail it to me, this beautiful handwritten letter.

Good. And it's just the sweetest thing. That's good. She's the cutest, sweetest thing, my mom. Somebody wrote me a letter last week. That was very, like he said, I wanted to try this instead of calling you or hitting you on Facebook. And it hit me weird. And I thought about writing them back.

Fuck him. I sent him a message on Facebook. I haven't written letters. I haven't written letters since prison. I ain't got time for that shit sitting there with a feather. I'm going to write D or whatever. The time is going slow. Get the fuck out of here.

I've got a Facebook reply from me. Like, mom, you know my handwriting is trash. Like, I can't. Is your dad still with us? Yeah. Where is that fucking lunatic? My dad is battling prostate cancer. He's had this battle on for a while.

He's doing good health-wise. But, I mean, my dad's a trooper. Man, he's tough. He's old school. Like, old-school people, man. He has been through some things. Where's he lives now? They're both in Maryland.

They're out in Pikesville, Maryland. Okay, so they're together. They're together and stuff. How do they come into your act? What do they think about you doing stand-up and the whole thing? They've been supportive since day one. My mom was the first one to get me on stage. So I started, I did, my first comedy show was at Stand-Up, New York during a contest

called The Funniest Person from the Bronx. And my mom entered me and my twin sister. I have an identical twin. Me and my twin sister, she entered us both in the contest so that we could both do stand-up comedy. And it was so unlike my mom because she's so shy and reserved. But she entered us into this contest because she really believed that we had something. And my sister didn't stick with it. My sister found her calling.

She's a personal trainer. She's great at it. But I fell in love with stand-up at like 14 years old. Is your sister looking for a little chubby Jew guy with money? You know, she might be. Man, because she's got dough. We could train them, get him down to 210. You know what I'm saying?

You're looking for a good man. This little Jew, he gets a little taste, that Puerto Rican love, he might not make it back. Every time I see him, it'll be like those white people in clear water, doing jumping jacks in front of the state building. Did you see those white people? Yeah. Jumping jacks in front of the state building for them to open up the gym. For what? You're already doing jumping jacks?

How stupid can you be? going there with wheelchairs and say I want to protest, open up the gym. But if you're going to come here to protest the gym and do jumping jacks, I ain't going to open a gym, you're already doing jumping jacks. What the fuck is wrong with people? They just want what they want. And that's it. Open the gym.

They're out there doing fucking aerobics. And I'll tell you, I don't know, now is the time of the year to be shooting people. Like, they always shoot the wrong fucking people at the wrong time. A sniper could have picked those dudes off. doing that fucking thing one of the time like that movie with fucking Tom Cruise, Jack Brackner, Jack Breachner, anyway, sorry

Gina. I get confused sometimes. It's the marijuana. There's a lot of stupid people out there that could learn a life lesson or two. Listen, man, when you went to your parents, what were you doing at 17? I mean, at 17, I was, I mean, I was in drama and musical theater.

Okay, so you came from that all together. But it was really, like, my mom knew I was 14, and I watched Brett Butler's stand-up special. And I immediately, like, immediately fell in love a stand-up. I was like, I, this is what I'm going to do. I don't know what it is. I don't know how to do it, but I'm going to do it. This is my dream. I just knew it right away.

Oh. She was so influential. The last time I see it was in a weed store. She didn't look too good about it. seven years ago. She was in the car. She sent her assistant in. Oh, yeah, really?

I know she's doing some acting now. She's on a new show on Apple TV. But that first, the special I saw was Brett Butler sold out. Tremendous. Tremendous. Tremendous. Such a phenomenal special.

And then after that, I had seen like a week after that, my mom would let me watch, Que Loco, and she would let me watch Rises and Mas Rises on like the Spanish channel. And I would watch, I saw George Lopez. And so both Brett Butler and George Lopez became the two people that initially sparked that thing in me because I'm looking at George and going, well, I'm Latina.

He's Latino. She's a female. Like, I'm a hybrid mix of both of these two. So why don't I just try to do this? At 17, I feel like you have that teenager confidence of like what's going to, who's going to tell me I can't? And so I just became obsessive about comedy. And when I was in college, the first year I was in college, I went to the comic strip almost every night because it was walking distance from my college. My parents deal was you can do comedy, but you got to go to college.

You've got to have a plan B just in case. And I was like, all right, cool, no problem. I will go to college. So I went to college, but I was in the comedy clubs every night. If I wasn't performing, I was watching. Did you get you a degree? Yeah, I got a degree in English. With a minor in psychology.

You're the real deal, Gina. Oh, thank you. You're the real fucking deal. When did you start seeing spots of, you know, in stand-up? Like you get those. How long do it take you to start seeing, you know, okay, this is working. I'll come back tomorrow. All right.

Yeah. I was doing a room in New York regularly called. It was Gladys' comedy room in the back of Hamburger Harry's. I remember what that is, exactly. Hamburger Harry's. I used to do that room, and Gladys was the first person to really give me regular stage time. So I would go there, and I would battle it out with the crowds. And I think there was, like, there was just one night there, and it was my first weekend night,

where I was just, like, everything was hitting. Everything was just hitting. And I had found that comedy. confidence because a lot of it is also having the confidence to deliver your material the way it needs to be delivered. And like Chris Rock said it at a party once at Stand Up New York. He was talking to a bunch of comics and I heard to somebody that was there that he said to them to these young comics, if you don't believe in what you're saying, nobody else will. If you don't have conviction for what you're saying up there and you're not real, nobody's going to believe you.

people people just see it a mile away they see fakeness the audience smells it yeah and when you're real with them and they connect with that they take something extra home you're not just oh that guy was funny your man joey dyes was hilarious you know i don't talk about politics because i don't know about politics same i know the dirty side of politics i don't know to pay somebody off i know how to get an fda drug approved you know all this shit but But I know, I don't know what other people know about politics. So I'm involved with it in my thing, you know, I know a ton about religion, Spanish religion, Catholic religion, Santeria.

I don't talk about it because it makes people uncomfortable. I talk about what I talk about on stage because I either lived it, did it, you know. Yeah. And it makes, I still remember going on stage early on and trying to tackle the subject, trying to think I was John Mulan. This was before John Mullaney was even born. Remember, I'm 57. So when I got into it, I was about 28.

And I really had nobody to grip on. But whenever I would try to fake the funk, they would smell it. The audience is keen. The audience is, I don't know what happens to your senses. When you sit down and have a beer, I don't know what happens. and it's not a TV setting, people listen a little more and they could feel the,

I've seen people do the same joke five nights in a row and it worked three out of the six times they did it. And it's because the three times it worked, they actually stood with the microphone and they actually believed in the conviction of the word of what they were saying. When they're standing to their side,

that wouldn't work. You've got to be in their face in the middle of the ring saying what you believe in, and if you follow the principles of Bill Hicks, that's who I follow. This is why I believe this, and I'm going to tell you the reasons why, and you're going to laugh.

Because you know it. You know it. Why the fuck would you go in front of a fucking state capital building and do jumping jacks to protest opening up a gym? You don't need a gym. Why not? because you're already doing jumping jacks in front of the fucking building.

So that's joke writing 101 in my world was how Bill Hicks would do it, you know? I'm such, I loved, I watched the Bill Hicks documentary. I'm such a student of comedy, and I feel like a lot of the newer comics have this, I mean, it's not all of them. I never generalized like that, but I would meet a lot of comics that are like,

oh, who's Bill Hicks, oh, who's that, who's that? And I'd be like, you are involved in an industry that you don't even know the history, of. You have not bothered to go back and see who the legendary comics who are making changes in the world through comedy. You're talking about Bill Hicks. You're talking about Carlin. You're talking about prior. You're talking about these people that took their vulnerability of being that real on stage to the masses and impacted the comedy community. If you read Carlin's bio, he talks about how his change, his metamorphosis into this social commentary comic that he

became, happened on screen. He started off doing comedy he didn't want to do just because he was on stage and he was able to get TV work quick. And you can see that change. If you watch all of his specials, you can see that change from the goofy Carlin, you know, doing the shows in black and white and everything to hippie-dippy Carlin to angry yelling Carlin. All of those different stages of his life happened because of how real he was on that stage. You watch that change happen. You grow as a comic. But if you don't bother to learn the history of the business you're in, that's like being a musician and being like, who's Hendricks?

You know, I love Mike Tyson. Yeah, he's great. You could talk to Mike Tyson about a fight in Cuba that happened in 19, 38 and he'll know the trainer how many stitches the guy got afterward. Yeah. You know, I guess when he lived with Cuss, that's all he did was watch fighting. And I'm going to be honest with you. Since the, this has happened, Gene, I don't want to do comedy right now.

Yeah. I have zero interest in getting on stage right now. I got a week of Brea, the 4th through the 6th of June. I thought it was going to happen and I could go down there and break my cherry and see how I feel in front of 50 people but I'm not ready to do comedy yet like it's not even on my mind

I think the last seven years wore me out you know like it took a piece of me eight years wore me out the work working at the store putting the pressure on you got to go to the store and be the best you got to go blow that room up I ain't got time to go on there and try new jokes and be fucking artistic.

If I go to the stores, because I'm going to beat the fuck out of somebody. So I think all that caught up with me, and right now, I'm outlining my book, you know, that I'm going to do an audio book in July, hopefully.

I'm homeschooling this child, and the only thing I'm doing towards stand-up, Gina, I want to become in love with stand-up again. Yeah. So I've been watching all anything early bicentennial nigger

is it something I said I listened to the other night I listened to Lenny Bruce live from Carnegie Hall again I was trying to find the best of BET the early one that came out of 95 that was heavy that was heavy DL that was heavy

so I'm trying to do the things I did in 91 to fall in love with comedy like I did again. I got a little disenchanted. And you'll see, you're going to get special with the kid and then it's the road. I get it.

The world now also isn't, it's not that it's not comedy friendly, it's that we went through this cancel culture where it was like, it became unpleasant to do comedy because it's like, we're the people that are supposed to be able to comment on society.

We're the people that are supposed to, supposed to push the envelope. We do that. We look at the world, we observe, and then we show you the ridiculousness of it. And with what happened with cancel culture and all these uber sensitive people that were coming into clubs, you now inhibit our ability to speak our truth and to show you guys that mirror that society needs. You stopped us from it because you started writing letters and banning people and canceling people. And granted, some people did horrendous things and they had consequences. That's on you. Fine. But it became such an issue. And I saw so many comics that got into arguments with audience members that, you know, got their social media accounts canceled

because of something they posted. It became impossible for us to cultivate our voices in the way that we need to as comics. Because you keep putting a stop. You keep going, you can't say that. I'm like, no, I can't say it. You just don't like the fact that I said it. And it just made comedy not as fun to do because every time you get on stage, you're rolling your eyes going, who's going to have a problem with that now? Who's going to have it? Somebody's going to write a letter about that because I said that. You got to mind your P's and Q's, which is not the art form that we know and love.

Well, in response to that, about two years ago, I was going through that. Nobody said nothing to me. I took it in one of my fucking Rifa highs to start looking at myself and going, again, I bring his name up, John Malaney, and I'm like, you know, I'd rather have a style like John Malanis or whatever, you know, and I tried to pull it off and I ate shit. and I remember on the flight from Las Vegas thinking about those three years I was Missy Shaw's host on Sundays

and what she used to say to me that she wanted the audience to get uncomfortable from time to time hold on you froze I did freeze how about now am I frozen still okay nice

now I'm back like fucking the herp and shit. Sorry about that. This shit freezes. We were talking about freedom on speech. Yeah. I'm going to narrow it down to you. For me, I'm 57 years old. I've done time. I've been accused of shit. Now I've got a beautiful family. I sit at the dinner table, all three meals, and my seven-year-old girl says pet prayers. I don't even know who's in this body of mine right now. But when I go on stage, I really don't give a fuck about your emotions anymore. I don't give a fuck about what your beliefs are, what you, because when I go on stage, if you know anything about me, I'm a Catholic,

and I go against all my beliefs. I'm a Latin man, which I really go against all my beliefs. If you know the Latino machismo world I came from, you're not allowed to say half the shit I say. So I go against myself 80% of the time. I'm not even supposed to talk about this shit. I talk about on stage, because how I was raised.

So I don't give a fuck about what's in your fucking mind. That's number one. And number two, what are you going to cancel me? You can't cancel microphones. You know what? Two or three clubs will get on board because they're white and they're scared because they read what Yelp, Yelp, whatever the fuck they do.

But guess what? There's another 2,000 clubs out there. You know, let's talk, let's bring it up, you know, the situation with Louie. Louis goes on the stage in New York, 20 women get up and complain. You know what? Half of that's 20 women, 10 of them, nobody would fuck on a fucking daily basis anyway. Number two, and I'm not making a bad point.

You know, when he went back on the road, he picked cities to tour, and he sold them all out. Nobody was mad. The only people were mad, the people that are not supposed to be mad. The people that live in New York and California. These are the people that are supposed to be the toughest. I grew up in New York where we would throw a snowball out you with a rock at it in the head. You got stitches. You know what I'm saying?

Like in Colorado, they just throw a little fag snowballs. Oh, my God. It was so snow. In New York, you get here with a snowball. You got three fucking stitches, you know. And all of a sudden, now I'm hearing that they leave when Louis C.K. walks in the room. I was there one night at the cellar when he was there. And I went downstairs to use a bathroom because you got to walk through the club to use a bathroom.

and Louis happened to be on stage and this woman follows me into the bathroom and she was just like ugh, now's a good time for me to go to the bathroom I don't need to see him on stage and I was like, lady I just want to pee like I don't want to we're not bonding over your hatred

I just came here to use the bathroom and I still stood there and watched his set like me too it happened in 2001 everyone else everybody wants you to jump on their bandwagon what were you doing in 2001 what the fuck were you doing in two thousand one what the fuck were you doing in two

thousand what you weren't acting the way you were acting now i'll tell you that much and i know i was and i was bumping into flying blow jobs and eating herpes i was eating herpes and brownies you know i'm saying i don't give a fuck but we get older we mature yeah things change you know things change he just had a special drop which is great by the way the special yeah the special's great Listen, people, the internet has given people that shouldn't have a voice or voice. All of a sudden, everybody wants to call you out and say shit, whether it's true or not. If you pay attention to it, you're going to kill yourself. You just keep moving forward.

Tell me about meeting Fluffy for the first time. Oh, my God. That's, okay, so the story, I just recently told him this story, like a couple months back when, Before the virus hit and everything, and we were on tour. I was on the tour with him. I reminded him of this story. So we met on the set of stand-up revolution. And it was so funny because he didn't remember this,

and I was thankful he didn't. It was filmed at the Ontario Improv. And I was in the green room, and I thought it was a community green room. I thought it was for every comic. And I'm always early, so I was just in there early. So I'm sitting there waiting. Nobody's saying anything to me.

Nobody said shit to me. I'm sitting there. and all of a sudden Gabriel walks in. And I'm like, oh my God, hi. And I shake his hand. And he's like, thanks for doing the show. And I'm like, thank you. Thank you for having me.

This is great. What a great opportunity. I really appreciated. And then there's this moment of silence. And he's like, I have to change. And I'm like, oh, I'm in your green room. I'm in your dressing room. And I was mortified.

And I was like, okay, I'm just going to dip. I'm going to be outside. I'm going to go. And I was so scared. I didn't talk to him. the rest of the night. So I was like kind of hiding from him because I was mortified.

When they were doing the edits for my set, I was in New York. He's in LA working on the show and working on the edits. I wake up in New York to all these new Twitter followers. And I'm like, what's going on my Twitter? So I look on my Twitter. And there's a tweet from Gabriel that says,

just finished editing at Gina Brioone's set for Standup Revolution. Everybody go follow her. She's hilarious. tell her Fluffy sent you. So I have all these Fluffy sent me, Fluffy sent me messages, and we ended up becoming like Twitter buddies. We would DM each other on Twitter. That became text buddies.

And then we just, we would talk and text, and I ended up on the tour with him. And, you know, he produced my first hour. And he is just one of my closest friends and one of the greatest mentors, I think, you could ask for in comedy. 46 city tour? Yeah.

It was that much. What did you learn? of it. Oh my God. So many things. From a standpoint of being on stage, learning how to command a stage when you're in an arena is so different versus being in a comedy club. It is mind-blowingly different when you look out and you people look like ants. They're so small the further back you get. So like when I'm on stage, I try to concentrate on the first four rows. And Gabriel asked me one night, he was like, how did it feel to be out there? And I was like, I looked up for a second. And I literally, I got dizzy looking up. So I had to look back down at the first four rows. And I was like, it was, it's intimidating.

Until you learn how to work a stage like that, it can be incredibly intimidating. How many arenas is it you have to do to finally get used to them, the arena? I think I did about, I want to say four or five with him. And it was around like the fourth one where I was like, okay, I can navigate it. around this now. It's a different energy. It's you put it out there. You got to wait a minute. Then it comes back. You have to slow

it down. You have to take longer pauses. Longer pauses. It's a different fucking game. People understand that on that. When you graduate to bigger, you know, like theaters is a bigger. You have to be a little bigger with your jokes. Now in an arena,

you have to slow down but you can be more physical because there's monitors. Yeah. Yes, exactly. There's so many things that you have to think about that are going on as a comic. But listen, man, you've been cutting the mustard. I've been hearing your name a lot.

Tell me about the special. It's coming up. Oh, man, this special was crazy. It came at a crazy time. The special is called The Floors Lava. It's going to be on Amazon Prime Video. It's coming soon. and man, I busted my ass for this one.

Like, it's one of those moments where it was like at the end of it, I really, I really had to like sort of pat myself on the back and be like, man, good work, girl, because what happened was I had shot an HBO special. At HBO half hour for HBO Latino called Easily Offended. And around the time that the offer came in from HBO Latino, the Amazon offer also came in. So my team at the time, they were like,

well, which special do you want to do? And me, you know, being the person I am, I was like, both. It's two different markets. Why would I not want to do both? But I only had five months in between the filming of both of these specials to write an hour of new material. So I had five months to work on, basically tour with, and cultivate an hour special. So I sat down with one of my writing buddies and I was like,

I need your help. I need you to stay on top of me. I need you to help me every set. He was at every set telling me this worked. This didn't work. This is why it worked. Try this wording. He was there on top of me for everything.

Sat with me, watched old videos of my childhood. We cultivated all that material and busted our ass for five months and came out with a special that I'm really, really proud of that talks about, you know, my upbringing, how I got into comedy and how I got where I got. am now. And so I can't wait for people to see it, but I think every time you put out a special or something close to your heart, it's always like, God, I hope, I hope y'all get it. I hope you get it what I'm putting out there. Because we're so, what we put out, our material is so vulnerable and important to us. So we put it out there, you just hope everybody gets it the way

that they got it in that theater that night. So I hope that people receive it the way that it was received that night because it was a lot of hard work and it meant a lot to me. Gina, you blown my mind. I thought you were going to show up some fucking Puerto Rican chick from the block, but you showed up very intelligent, knowing what you're talking about. And I could feel your passion for comedy come right through whatever. Where can folks follow you at? Where can they find you at?

You guys can find me on Instagram. it's at G-Bri-O-N So my last name is B-R-I-L-O-N It's at G-Bri-O-N It's Gina-Bri-O-N for everything else For Twitter for Facebook You guys can find me on Snapchat The website is GinaBri-O-COMB-Gena-Bri-O-com

And that's your tour dates When you fucking, whenever you decide to Have the baby Feed the baby And then go back on the fucking road Oh yeah That baby might be coming with me I'm like, all right baby

You never know Hey listen this is the This is it. Spanish women, they don't give a fuck. My mom used to bring me to the bar with a... I'll make him open. I'm like, you got a tight five. Go ahead.

Fuck, it's... I still, I don't have many more. There's still pictures of me. My mom had of me being like two with a bottle in one hand and a Moroccan in the other, and there's a band on stage. That's great. And my mother's bar and I got a shoe missing and shit.

Latin mothers, they take you with you. You fuck the baby. Everywhere. We'll save the $28. You know what I'm saying? Fuck it. I'm not doing this shit. Uh-uh.

Gene, it's been a real pleasure. Say hello to Jenny for me. I will. Absolutely. You're still working with Jenny? I am. Yeah, I adore her. I adore her also.

Sending my love, Jenny from the block. And that's it. Anytime you want to be on, let me know. It was a real pleasure having you on today. All right, beautiful. Absolutely. Thank you for zooming in. Thank you.

And bendition. Bendition to you, my love. That's how we do it, bitches, at the church with Gina Brio. Kill that button there. Festo. Oh, shit. I want to thank Gina again for coming on Zoom. I love it at death.

I hope it's special does well. I hope you guys support a special. Thank you very much for supporting Jimmy Schubert's CD. Yeah. You guys made it. Number one, I know you guys helped Jimmy Schubert's a tremendous fucking comic. Like I said,

you know, there's all these Netflix guys and all these guys that when you want to see a comic that delivers, it's Jimmy Two Shoes Schubert. The one thing I wanted to add to the Mike with Jordan thing that I thought they were going to talk about. And I'm happy they didn't. Because if you're going to tell me a story about Lee,

if it's going to be a good story, it better be a good story. If it's going to be a story about one of his weaknesses, you better make it about his weaknesses. But don't tell me how great he is and that he has a weakness. We all know something's are not right. And they didn't cover really the part about his dad. They said his dad got shot by gamblers or whatever,

people he owed money to him for gambling, that when he quit those 18 months to play baseball, It was really an NBA suspension for gambling and whatever. Michael was a degenerate gambler. When I mean degenerate gambler, I'm talking about the Chinese guy in focus. You know, have you ever watched the Chinese guy in focus or Will Smith, you know, a Lee, what's going to happen next? A field goal.

It's going to score 20 bucks. You know, they're those type of people. I'll make this shot for 2,000. Let's make it 200,000. You know, that's part of what makes Michael Jordan. who he is. I'm happy that it knocked. They didn't bring up his gambling.

Like, yeah, he's a degenerate fucking gambler. Well, they did a little bit. A little bit. A little bit, but, like, and he even brought it up. He's like, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, to, to their credit, because I had heard that story that, like, they had killed his dad because it was gambling. And one of the guys wrote a book, um, even said that's like,

How would you feel if your dad just died and then like with no evidence they were just like maybe it's because of his gambling They just didn't like him. They just didn't like him or they were made you know They wanted to find the kink in his arm and There was really no kink in his arm. He's a gambler that could back it Yeah, who cares? He'll look in the face and tell you guess what I want to bet on my bookie, but I'm putting a million dollars On the German team the German soccer team like that's the type of guy you know and that's a type of guy you know and that's it. Why bet $2 when you can bet a million? Why smuggle eight kilos when you're going to get the same time for smuggling into 200 kilos? You might as well smuggle 200 kilos. It goes back to the church.

If you're walking on ice, you might as well dance. But I'm happy, very happy at the producers of, and they've got some good ones coming on. They got the one about the coats that called the black players that told his mistress, not to date black players. Oh yeah, yeah. They got the Bruce Lee one coming on June 7th. I'm looking forward to that 30 for 30. You know, there's no sports going on, but there is sports going on. And there's, you know what's going on that's good about sports?

They're showing you things that happen. They're showing you why there's, who the Khan McGregor fight? Which one? The black guy, the boxer. Oh, Floyd Mayweiler. You know, they're showing you why there's a Floyd, way, you know, Floyd.

way weather whatever his fucking name is mayweather the other night i was watching a sugar a fight you know uh at about fucking 10 o'clock at night on classic sports they're showing you a lot of classic baseball they're showing you a lot of old-time stuff that to you it might not mean anything but if you watch it closely it's like wow that's how i caught something on that in the beginning of this about the new york cubans a baseball team that wasn't allowed to to play in the baseball least i don't know 30 for 30 30 30 they're all awesome no this wasn't like 30 for 30 this is just something on ESPN okay got you and it was uh about a fucking Cuban team that the player on there was who Pete rose became that's who Pete he was the original Pete rose he did it all you know

and all and Lewis Teon's father was on the team oh shit yeah like fucking just tremendous shit you know So this has been a good time to catch up on stuff. I'm halfway through the Jimmy Page book. It's a little fucking weird. I got to tell you that much. It's one of the weirdest books I've read. A lot of devil worshiping and a lot of shit. But again, another great guitarist.

All the great ones are going to have an issue or something, but that's what makes them great. So always remember that. As far as touring is concerned, guys, I don't know what's going on. Nobody knows what's going on. People move into Texas to do half-filled rooms, you know, good luck. By the time they move to Texas, the whole state's going to be called Corona, you know, at this fucking pace. And you know, I love Texas.

I love Houston. I love Austin. I love Lubbock. There's a big problem in Lubbock. But who gives a fuck? We're not talking about problems here. We're talking about motherfucking solutions, you know what I'm saying? and that's us having a good time

when we're ready I'll be back in your fucking town I promise you with all my heart before we leave real quick I want to talk to you about something you and I both know I've made you a little money on my bookie the last couple weeks because I made you aware that they were even around

you were sitting there with your fucking finger up your ass thinking about what you were going to do next what am I going to do next what am I going to do next you're going to make some fucking money that's what you're going to fucking do next okay how Well, we got fucking live card games. We got blackjack.

We got slot machines. We got a live dealer and the people you play against a live people. That's just to start with right there. If you like playing blackjack or poker or whatever. How are you going to play it in the future? Anything, Vegas, it's over. Vegas is flying big spenders in to play cards on the plane so they don't have COVID and testing them.

You jack fucking jerk jack off. I'm not going to be able to play Pokemon on Vegas or your weekly card game. But my bookie's there for your 24 motherfucking 7. So that's a start, all right? Now, you know me. I believe in one thing. I don't know nothing about numbers.

I'm not a scientist. I got a GED. But you've got to be vigilant when your movement. In other words, you've got to stay the fuck inside. And what are you going to get to do when you're inside? Sit there and jerk. You can watch so much porn hub. You've already watched everything on fucking net.

Netflix, Spanish, English, Japanese, anime. You watch fucking everything. You're all watched up. So it's time to make a little fucking Guitous. Get to know the world with my bookie. Why? Because they got Guten Tag from Germany. Bundis Laga.

Soccer is back. Bundy's Lager! Soccer is back. In South Korea, in Taiwan, they got fucking baseball. Stealing third like at CLA fucking riots. And guess what? The ponies are back. You can make fucking money, and that's nice and easy.

You got Churchill Downs, you got Santa Anita Park, you got Tampa Bay, and you got Ghostream. Plus, this week, Wednesday night, NASCAR is back at Darlington, 500K, and Sunday, catch the Coca-Cola 600. It's all happening on mybooky.orgie.org. Plus, they got NBA 2K, Madden, FIFA soccer, and NCAA brackets,

And again, they got a fucking full casino with human dealers. You always talk about, oh, I'll play good blackjack. We'll go down there. Go get fucking my book here spanking. Why? Because they got to fucking give you 50% of your initial deposit. So that means if you put in a nickel, they're going to give you $250. You're right?

More money you're playing with more odds in your favor. You're winning some fucking money. You say you play cards. It's time to play fucking cards. Well, I don't be playing tournaments. Well, playing the My Bucky fucking fucking Bucky card tournament. The Uncle Joey fucking My Bucky card tournament, all right?

It starts this week. So head over to MyBooky. Punch in MyBooky.orgie. Slash Joey and get ready to make some fucking money. Who treats you like me? Who fucking takes care of you like me? Nobody. You bet you win.

You get fucking paid. And while you're gambling on there, you're using your cards for shit. Gotta be careful right now. We're all living our lives on the internet. kids on school on the iPad, your wife's with the in-laws on FaceTime, no more. You need to protect your privacy online. With ExpressVPN, everything I do is nobody's fucking business as usual.

Nobody can see the sites I visit. Thank goodness. The way it works, instead of going directly from your house to the Internet, with ExpressVPN, everything I do online goes through their secure service. It's like putting the rubber before you bang the internet. You're anonymous. Get an IP address that can't be tracked. Your info is secure.

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I'm taking care of you, as usual. Again, I'm here for you. with something useful, all right? This is fucking useful. You're playing games, you're buying shit on the computer. ExpressVPN.com slash church. C-H-U-R-C-H.

Support the podcast and protect yourself at ExpressVPN. com slash church. I want to thank Gina Breon. I want to thank you, I want to thank you, motherfucker, because I want to thank the whole church family.

I want to thank the Christkiller. I want you to stay safe, mind your business, and keep doing what the, you're doing. Remember, we all have a piece. Well, we all could be Michael Jordan. It's just turning that fucking switch on. See you Wednesday more nice and early. Kick that fucking mulee.