The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #793 - Gay Pride with Eric Rocha

Episode Date: June 8, 2020

Pride may have been canceled in LA, but it will never be canceled on the Church of What's Happening Now! To celebrate Pride, Joey asked Eric Rocha, a gay man and comedian to break down what its really like to be gay. Eric doesn't disappoint, wait until you find out what boy butter is for. This podcast is brought to you by:   CBD Lion - For all of your CBD needs, from shatter to gummies, go to www.CBDLion.com and use code CHURCH for 20% off.    Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.

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Kick this fucking meal. Oh shit. It all fucking fucking tell you right. No more fucking excuse. This is the year of the fucking soldier. We're going in like fucking Marines. Jim Stammy. Welcome to church, motherfucker.

Uncle Joe, we're here on a Monday morning smoking the same week. Chris Cuomo smoked when he got rid of the fucking COVID-19. This is the weed he smoked. They just don't tell you that shit on CNN because they're cock-suckers. Anyway, we're back, bitches. We're not going to talk about Bruce Lee today. We're going to talk about Bruce Lee on Wednesday. I'm not going to spoil alert.

You got two fucking days to watch it, okay? If you didn't watch it, don't fucking listen on Wednesday. We're covering Bruce Lee, so I'm letting you know right now. What time it is? Number one, how are you, cock suckers? It was a great weekend. I did not. I want some money.

I want some fucking money. Hey, listen, I know it's been a rough week. I've been bored to debt. I was telling Lee how it went down. Lee was the one that told me it was a card. I didn't even know there was a fucking card. I didn't get any points on the money. No, because you're the kiss of debt.

You're fucking living more shit. So I'm, I go, I'm out of a ride. Lee goes he's watching the fights with his father. I go, how nice. I didn't even know the fucking fights. Amanda Noon. And I forgot. That's how we're in my mind.

This fucking child, this fucking, homeschool. Now there's no camp. Fucking June 15th. So it goes my fucking until July. So we've got to find a different fucking camp. I don't give her. I'm putting it in Crenshaw at this point.

I don't give a fuck. Speaking of Crenshaw, so let me tell you what happens. I see this fucking fight, right? I go on the car. Leith tells me, and then my other buddy calls me from Jersey. They tell me there's a parade at Hudson County Park, and he can't walk his dog. So I told him, I go, you know, there's a U.

See tonight. What are you walking your dog for? Fuck him, put him in the yard. So, I'm at home, so I read him off the card, and I see that Alex Chesere is fighting the nice white kid, the 20-year-old. And I'm looking at this,

and something made me just go to lines and look. Like, I went to My Bookie, I like 3.30, and I saw that he was an underdog. And I went, and I did something with Mercy. I did something with my wife, and I'm thinking about this whole thing. How can he be an underdog? He's 31 years old.

This white kid is his second fight. I looked at, and then during the pre-lums, they said that somebody had bet a million dollars on Amanda Nunes. So I said, there's no fucking future in betting the main cart. There's going to be some fucking salami switch there. Something's going to happen. They're going to try to fuck you up to the ass. So I said, let me stay away from that.

I feel like gambling. So I said, let me take the underdog. Alice Casares. Number one, if you're black and you're an underdog, I'm betting you this week. I just fucking knew. There's no way If you're a white dude And you're fighting a black dude this week

Just go in the end and go listen Because rights are connecting You saw it last night They're throwing heavy fucking rights And they're connecting You don't want to fight on African American In the next two weeks Give him a breather

Just go down Let them tepi and just go down Because they're angry And I don't blame you So right away I said This guy's gonna beat up this little white kid And sure enough he fucked him up He won the unanimous decision

I want some money I didn't watch the card You know what I ended up watching By the way, my guest tonight is the beautiful Mr. Eric Rocha, which we'll get to later. He's a young comedian because everybody on the podcast always says, well, you need names. What fucking names? We're just trying to make it funny and entertaining for you people. We don't need no names.

Names are going to come in here and be fake. I want real. Eric Roach is real. So let me tell you how he saved me, but we'll get to that fucking story later. So I call my buddy. I go back on the fuck computer. Every night my computer goes kapits from 530 to 7 because everybody's on it. Oh, the internet, okay.

So I can't get on my bookie. Motherfucker. So I'm dying to get on my bookie. I can't get on my bookie. My wife is helping me something with the Rout, Router. She goes, something with the router. I'm like, fuck, I can't fucking bet this cotteret, this fucking Bruce Lee fooie, whatever. What's his name?

Alex Casares. Yeah, but what do they call it? Bruce Leroy, from The Last Dragon. So I'm sitting there. I go, you know what, let me call him my buddy, because I know he can't. I call him up, go, hey, do you take UFC action? He goes, nah, but I got a friend who does. You know, can you vouch on me without me having to run across to town and give him cash?

He goes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he goes, what do you want to be, Alaskar, he goes, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so I just chew the amount on it, and I knew he was an underdog, always take, like, I, I love underdogs, Nate, Nick Diaz, fucking, San Francisco 49ers against the Dallas Cowboys, Navy, 3,000, I love an underdog Because I'm an underdog So I always cheer for underdogs So I said fuck

I blasted that And then he told me Listen, if you win You're gonna win some good money So I watched the fight And then I fucking won some money And I said Why am I gonna watch the fucking main card

I'm gonna save 75 dollars You know what I'm saying Let me take my money and go home That's what you do You take your money and go home There's no more dicking around No hanging out No doing nothing

Well I had a nice night But I didn't watch the fights What I did was to prepare for Bruce Lee on Sunday night, I watched the movie I taped this week. And I want everybody's your homework assignment

for next week. I want you to learn something. I watch the movie called The Getaway with Steve McQueen and Ali McGraw. She's one of the beautiful women you've ever seen in your life. As far as acting, she ain't no fucking Natalie Portman, but she's so fucking good-looking

that she's phenomenal. And when you look at Steve McQueen in the Getaway, listen to this. It's directed by Sam Peckhampaw and written by Walter Hill, The guy who wrote Warriors and all that. This is just insane. And 48 hours.

Right? So last night, first of all, when I switched from fucking, before I even went to Saturday night, before I even went to Steve McQueen, I watched trading places from the beginning. Nice. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

And I watched the whole fucking thing. And I realized that Eddie Murphy was a fucking savage back in the day. You know, he did one movie a year. That was his second big. big fucking release in 83, like October of 83 or something. Just fucking, they don't even make movies. That's a good movie for black people? That movie had

so many different fucking levels in it. That movie had so many, the dude was falling in love with the hookah. Everybody. Everybody when he's falling in love, I go, Terry, they don't even make movies like that no more. Fuck, but from there, I went to fucking the getaway.

And I'm watching McQueen, and after, I watch it to the part that he beats his wife on the on the whatever. He really beat the fuck out of him. You know, if you watch it on YouTube, he beats it. And it's just a scene in the movie, but he was like a fucking real actor,

and he was a tough guy. He was one of Bruce Lee's disciples. He fucking carried Bruce Lee's casket when they buried him, him, and a bunch of hearts. But Steve McQueen was just intense. I read about him for years. My mother took me to see him to get away.

Like, I was crying last night because I was remembering my mother's taking it. That's because she was a Steve McQueen. Cubans love Steve McQueen. That motherfucker was bitch slapping people. Bullitt. Cubans love Steve McQueen, Cadillacs. Cubans love all that shit. They love Steve McQueen.

My mother took me to the matinee. We went to Tad Steakhouse, got a steak with garlic bread, and then we went to fucking 42nd Street. The whole time she wouldn't shut the fuck up about fucking Steve McQueen, how beautiful he was. I'm like, shut the fuck out. Let the white man do his work and shoot people. You know what I'm saying?

It was such an all-star castle. I'm happy I watch to get away before. Bruce Lee because now I'm prepared for what I'm going to get but I told you Wednesday's Bruce Lee Anyway Eric Roach is a very nice young man I met him a year ago Two years ago

When I was in a dark spot Before my Netflix special He really made me laugh And I've always loved him He's a young comic Have you heard him? I don't fucking know and I don't fuck He's been on the podcast

I mean I know he's been on the podcast I'm bringing him into your living room How are you Eric? I'm doing good Last week you put a MMA out That killed me Now I'm gonna explain something to you I'm a fucking savage

but I never knew nothing sexually nothing. Like when I was 32, I found out what a sugar daddy was. I never knew how I was 32. I should be ashamed to myself. That's how on whatever. I did Coke and fucked and messed around. That surprises me that you don't, yeah. Well, I'm not about nothing.

Well, as time went on, I dated a girl who took me to a different level. She wanted to be smacked. I dated two girls back to back. One want to come on a face. so she could come. I never heard of that before. How did you even get to this conclusion? What did you have guys shoot loads on your tips?

After I stopped dating, I had a check-up. That's the first time I ever had a check-up. Because how do you get to that? It's like, who invented the mushrooms? So you went around picking up shit, eating stuff. Who picked up the first mushroom and said, this is fucking delicious. So how do you know?

That means guys came all over you think. You found out that somebody, and she was young. We were both young. So she put me over the top a little bit, freaky swise. And then I dated another girl who was out there, dildos, smack me in the face, choke me. I was not into that shit at all. And I ended up starting to choke her. And, you know, and then she would say smack me, and I had to smack her.

She called me a pussy. And then she started smacking me. And then our relationship went into a weird place. It was a horrible relationship that lasted four years. But she was a sexual demon, and she would do, like, all that shit, like, you know, take a dildo and put it in her pussy. But last week, while she was sucking your dick, you know, then I, you know, I would tie her up. This is the girl that used to make me tire up

and then go to the corner and call her from the payphone when she was on the answering machine and say dirty things to her. I never discovered things like this. I never knew nothing about this shit. I was just a straight guy. I'd fuck you through the regular doggy style.

You know, I never wanted to come on your back. The first time I fucked the girl in the ass, I was dirty and I didn't like it. I didn't like it. It was like a power play. Like for years, I wanted to fuck somebody in the ass. Finally, somebody let me. And I was like, I don't like this.

She was squiggly. She kept moving. She wasn't focused. You know, I don't like that. I want you to be focused. They don't like it. They don't like it. What is you?

I mean? You know, they just, she didn't sit still. Okay. So I never really fucked nobody in the ass. I don't know nothing about that world. So I moved on. You know, you always want to fuck somebody in the ass. Then once you do, you're like, you know what?

This ain't for me. There's too much suffering. I got a little bit, but I can't put it back in the mouth. You know, I want that one. If I put in your ass, I want to be able to pop it in your mouth afterward. Hit you on the head like a fucking. Like, Def Leppard's drummer with one arm. So last week, you know, I'm telling you, it's going to be a good Monday.

It's a good week, motherfuckers. Strap on a pair. We're having a good time today. Enough with the COVID. Enough with the riot. Not with this bullshit. It's back to fucking comedy time, motherfuckers. Uncensored fucking comedy here.

So, you know, on fucking Twitter, you got Jenna putting pictures. She sell farts. She sells her farts. So I retweeers. her pictures. Anybody who sells their farts has my support, you understand. If you're going to buy a fart, you're a fucking moron. But fuck, I would

sell you $10 for my farts and put them in a jar. Whatever. She does videos or she does videos. I feel like rubbing a pussy and farting at the same time. So I tweet him, I retweet him for, and then we got the nice girl from Boston, who I love. Jamie Lynn, Chubby. She got pissed at me because I called it Chubby. She's not really, you know,

she's, she's for real. Like, I would like to fix her up with you leave, but she's too much for you. Like when she moves her hips like this, have you seen to do that? No. My gyrate dog, you'll just forget it. You'll start to fuck. It's like the fucking, it's like the zip line adventure. You're just going to

shock. So, I love all those women. I support those women. If you're going to Holly Housewife, if you're going to fucking put videos of yourself on the internet, sucking dick, have you seen Holly Housewife's content? No, actually.

She sucks dicks and Laurie holes. She's fucking all types of people. She just goes to a bar and has a gang bang. It's disgusting, but it's good for some people. So I retweet it from time to time. I know people are lonely. It's the coronavirus, you know.

So I'm thinking about the other day how, you know, whatever, I get on the computer and I see that there's a picture that you posted of you fucking some guy from behind choking them with a cock. And, like, you know, like that. And I sat there and then you put a Lee in the corner, like whatever, like saying hello. It was tremendous. You know that that made my day. That's like a personal fucking message to me going here.

This is for you, Doug. You know, it's like an homage. That was fun waking up to, by the way. Thank you very much. They didn't look three of them, too. So I'm like, look at this motherfucker posting gay content on this thing that nobody does. Nobody posts gay content. I don't see it.

Very seldom do I see gays interacting on there. Maybe I'm on a different spectrum of love. Yeah. So I saw that dick around the next. and I was blown away. I'm like, I never thought of that. Like, that would have been tremendous. Like, that's got to be a 16-inch dick.

You just take their neck, instead of pulling their hair and pull them back like you did to the Arab, the terrorist when you pulled his hair back, because that was a tremendous story. I never forget that. I love gay people because they're the only ones left that are still having a good time.

White America, you got your fucking finger stuck up off your fucking ass. Gay people are just meeting each other online. The trust that you have to have. to trust. Like, hey, how you doing? Good. What do you want to shoot?

Oh, no, I want to fuck you in the ass. Okay, where are you? I'm on 13-13, mocking Bird Lane. You go over there, you're fuck, and you go home. That's the monster's ass dress. Anyway.

One time we went to go do the comedy store open mic, neither of us got up, and I was like, oh, I'm going to do another open mic. He's like, I'll see you later. I'm going to go. He got late in between mics. That's amazing. So my thing is,

we've been talking a lot about changing. And let's go from me. comedy here to just one minute of real. I watch your thing and, you know, I love you to death. I've always, I've always been fascinated by the girl, gay, LGBT community. Always, you know, since Trannies fuck my world up, you know, they always did. Because you look at them, you're like, what the fuck is going on here? But they're like, you know what?

Give them love. Well, who gives a fuck? I'll tell you, honestly, the last time I was here, I had so many gay people come up to me. A bunch of gay people, transgender people. They fucking love you. I love that. They love you. And that's no bullshit. I got. What the fuck? If you give, if somebody

says something about you, you have to look at where they're coming from. You know, the guys that lived down the corner from me, they were transgender. I thought they weren't the cats. So they had me. Here I am talking to a guy with a wig and a mustache on every day. Well, he didn't shake. Like, I catch him out there early.

The wig is twisted. The wig was twisted and shit. Did I give a fuck now that's what people want to do you and jim norton those are the two that they they brought up because uh especially like after i was i did the first show here all even at the shows when we would do the shows it was cool because in the fucking craziest places too people would line up and they'd be like hey either uh this i'd like to introduce you some chick that i'd like to introduce to my wife or my cousin's gay and we brought him here and he thought you were fucking hilarious and that's that's that's what it is though that's what we wanted about that's what we talked about i fucking loved it so yeah i'm

i want to ask you a question because everybody's making changes the other day i was on the fucking uh cassius morris show and i told him i was even i went online looking at courses to become a fucking paralegal you know everybody wants to make a change yeah everybody's looked into abyss everybody's had a time to change everybody's had a time to look at their life and reexamine where the fuck they're from that you know this is never going to happen to me again i lost a lot of money They had to move back with my mother. I'm in a shelter. People went through a lot there.

But I was also thinking about some. I'm thinking about all the men and women that realized during this break that maybe they were gay. Think about that. How many guys are at home going? You know what? I'm looking at my wife,

and I don't really like her anymore. But for some reason, I have to watch that Lance Armstrong a little thing. I'm thinking of getting a bike. I like the fuck a guy in the ass like Lance Armstrong or a woman saying, you know what, man, I'm sick and die of being around men. I think I want to switch governments or whatever. It's a lot of time by yourself. It's a lot of time by yourself.

What do you recommend that? Like, I don't know how to come out, bro. We joke. Everybody makes jokes. How does somebody, I've always thought about this. Like, I've always wanted to ask people, how did you come out? It's got to be painful and exhilarating at the same fucking time. it's oh fuck that's a that's a tough one too um i knew like you know when you're a kid

you know you because there's something different everybody starts talking about pussy everybody starts talking about oh you know i finger bang so and so i finger bang so and so and for me i remember it was like i'm not fucking interested in that and the shitty thing was was it was like you start looking at other people and you're like uh i'm actually more fucking attracted to that and immediately you're like okay there's something up like remember we were talking about the whole fucking Catholic thing

so you've got that at odds with yourself and you're like fuck okay I can't I can't act on this shit but meanwhile they're having orgies in the basement after fucking 7 a.m. Mass with three little retarded kids you know we gotta feel guilty but meanwhile in between sessions

and church they're downstairs with capes on throwing holy water little kids with a D and shit. I don't think that the orgy. I think that the assault. It's an orgy. Somebody dropped them all. They don't know nothing. You know, I went to that guilt, too.

One day I was like, these motherfuckers put me through hell for years for cursing. When I was like 11, when I found out there were fucking little kids, like when I left the Catholic, like, I found that when I was like 15, I heard murmurs about Catholicism. And then when I was like 19,

I heard murmurs about the Boy Scouts. I heard a kid. about like that had been like molested and they put it under the table when I was 1918 I heard about a 12 year old kid in our area not North Bergen that had been

because I was part of it Boy Scout true and they were kind of weird the first day I went in there like the first they went right to nuts like the second day they went right to nuts I'm like something ain't right here these motherfuckers I'm gonna tell you why else I called you in here today

you know what I ordered this week You know what I pre-ordid? Rob Halford's new book. He's got a new book, the singer from Judas Priest. Because that was my first experience. Like, when I went to see Judas Priest, I was like, ooh, Rob Halford could be a flamer. Oh, boy, we have a problem here.

And I remember going home and going, so what? So what? If he's gay. Because they had this motorcycle. He came out with a motorcycle and leather chaps. And when I first saw him, I'd hell Benflat, that motherfucker brought a whip out. In October, November 29th, of 79, I saw them,

and that motherfucker brought a whip out at the Palladium in New York City. So you better fucking check yourself. So when he first came out, when I first went to see them, he didn't come out until years later. But that made me think about you. Like, all he, like, even Rob Alford, that was one of the world's greatest heavy metal bands, is this guy walking around.

who's really gay. And when you went to see it, if you were cool, you knew it. If you had experience with a gay man, which I did, I grew up around Martin de Fagg, my damn money cool. So, you know, and there was a bunch of gay men in my bar.

My mother had gay guys around it. You know, they did drugs. I used to have gay guys around me at the bar. So, like, what do you think? Like, right now I have to this period. How many people do you think will say, know what, I always want to be fucking gay. It's, it makes a point because a lot of time by yourself, you do, you just, you start,

and then is especially like two with, um, with fucking divorces and shit like that too, too, because you're starting to be around your spouse and you just wonder, I fucking hate this bitch. What am I doing here? I tell you, man, I heard about this in the beginning of the pandemic. I heard about that. Be careful, mental health. you know, you're going to be around.

And I'm not going to tell you that me and my wife had a few disagreements. We had a few times where you're at the wit's end. And I said something or she'd say something, you know, if corona's on and you're watching TV and you're fucking scared, and also she would say, pass the remote. What are you fucking great? You catch yourself.

Yeah. But I caught myself early, like March, like 20 around there. I said I have to come together with my wife. I can't separate. I got to come together. And I'll tell you, man, it's been, I'm blessed. You know, we're going to go on 20 years, July 1st. God.

I go, this can't happen now. This cannot happen now. We got to at least make 20 years. If she wants to dump me on the second, I'm good with it. But let me make it to the first one. We're already, we're fucking, you know, days away from 20 years of meeting. So I really, really was constant about it. I avoided her.

At times, I gave her a space. There was nights, you know, little by little, like when Lee told me that he wasn't going to eat out, that's it. I was like, Lee's not going to eat out. I'm standing in solidarity with him. That's right. Because this motherfucker, you know.

I eat, I never do it. I'll eat a billy goat if they give it to him. So, the lizard taco. What do you think? What was the first thing you did? Did you tell you? your parents, did you go to your priest? Did you call a friend?

Did you just bang a guy to get over? That's essential. You know what it was? It was, I had met the guy. And I still do jokes to this day. I'll call my ex. It was my first ex-boyfriend. And we lived together and all that shit.

And I remember he, we met in college. And, you know, he was flirting with me. And for the first time ever, you pursue it. first time ever because I was in New York I was away from home nobody fucking knew what I was doing that's that's usually why like when you look at where behavior like that comes from they fucking go like remember the rambles

was famous in New York in Central Park because gay guys would go there at night and they would fuck around with other guys Jesus Christ I just forgot all about the rambles there you go see that's where that guy got mad at that girl recently right I don't know I don't know okay never mind it doesn't matter So, but the thing of it, though, is, is whatever leads your, your limitations and says,

you know what, try it. Try it. Because, yeah, it is exhilarating. Like, when you first come out, you fucking tell everybody. You're like, I'm gay. I'm gay. I'm gay. And everybody's like, okay, like, today it's like, who gives a shit?

But when you first start coming out, I think you do it in small steps because you come out to your friends, people that you're really, really, really fucking close to. And honestly, what I find a lot. lot of people say is, oh, I knew. Oh, I knew. I talked to a high school teacher and he's like, hey, I heard you been doing all this shit. That's good stuff. By the way, I knew you were gay in high school. I was like, how the fuck did you know? How did you? I hid that shit really fucking well. Apparently, I didn't. Because a shit ton of people were like, oh, we knew. And it's like, God damn. So it's, I don't even know how you would go about it because it's such a personal

thing that you can't rush it because you'll you'll fuck somebody up if you out them like they'll you've seen the goth kids they get fucking weird that's fucked them sorry but it's not exactly the same but all I can think about is like Joe you went through a period where you didn't

tell people your criminal stories and then like you slowly started telling people maybe maybe that's it because I will tell you it is it's terrifying like in I remember I was fucking around with somebody in high school and somebody had seen and I was ready to kill that motherfucker had they ever spoken up but it was like

that scary where it's just like okay nobody can find out about this shit nobody and then over time it's it's honestly it's people like like you like like I said Jim Norton you talk about other people um all these all these things you start seeing gay people on TV and my problem was was the gaze that I saw on TV weren't like me. And that bothered me because it's like, well, I'm not fucking like that. Well, here, not to interrupt you, but I've noticed one thing. Because see, I've noticed it with everything. Listen, what a lot of people don't know about me is I paid an investigator a lot of money

to find my daughter, find a few friends that I had to apologize to. and the one person that I paid this investigator to look for was, and whenever I need his name, I forget, it was an African-American kid who was my first friend. You know, he was one of my first friends in New York City took me to his house, his family took me in, you know, it was like... Jasper Williams, it was like two years of just...

And then they made it, you know, his father got a better job and went away, you know, they moved up to Brooklyn, and we lost contact, whatever. I was exposed to gay people at the same age. I didn't know what to think about it. And then as I went to my mother's bar, men would say, I'd say, I'd say, I'd say, I'd say,

what the fuck is a maricone? And they wouldn't tell me, you know, because my mom would go, knock it off. He's fucking six. You know, knock it off. What are you telling him the guy's a fag for? He ain't even going to understand. But by the time I was like seven or eight, I got it.

I got it. I got the behavior. I didn't understand the C-S. So I lived in a house that was very Sangeria bound. Santeria is fucking glittered with gay men. Really? Yes. But in Cuba, there was a form of religion.

And those guys, the Abaquas, they're not allowed in a room. If there's a gay man in that room. The funny thing Romero told me, when he was on Joe's with me, I asked him if Albuquer still exists. He goes, it was a brotherhood of men, but now there's some gay guys in there. They finally opened up with gay men in Cuba. This was like a religion of, if you fuck with me, I'll slice your ass. You know, that's why they slice your ass because the hatred they had for gay men. You know, Cuba, don't ever think of Cuba.

People say, oh, my God, Avana was booming, yeah, in the neighborhood. in the neighborhood. Once you went out of that neighborhood, they didn't like gay people, and they really didn't like black people. If you think the United States is racist, I'm, bro, I'm dying. My uncle's just too fucking old to get him up here.

Me and my uncle talk at night, and he, for the last week, he's been telling me racist stories from Cuba every night how they fucking... Hardcore shit, though. Because he's dark skin. They made a kid. Make his dog pissed on his back.

and he didn't even know it. He was sitting watching a baseball game and some kid came over and made a dog piss on his back and he goes, that's the best thing that happened to me. My life changed after that. He goes, you don't know ever since that dog pissed on my back how my luck changed.

He goes, I'm where I am today because that dog pissing on my back. He goes, so even though they thought I was fucking black because he's all, him and my mother are brothers. But he's darker skin with a little hair, whatever. But anyway, they get away from that stuff. It was really weird, like I never had a change. to really have an opinion about,

I knew in my world, I had, they were cool. Now, when I got to be 14, 13, you're out in New Jersey. And now I can't, I'm trying to fit in. I'm the fucking spick on the neighborhood. I'm trying to fit in. And these guys are using faggot, like, you know. And in the 70s, when people found out your faggot, they would hunt you down.

You know, gay people have not had to, easy in this country. They were to hunt you down. What are you doing, fag? They beat up and, you know, pull your hand and do all that shit. So it wasn't easy. Me meeting Martin made my life a lot easier. And then when my friends found out, and let me tell you how weird life is, that my friends all had a problem with Martin the fag. But the coke he sold.

That gay coke that'll fucking make you fucking give you twitches in your neck and shit. The jaw. That Gary Kank Coke, in 1980, that guy was selling this Coke. That was fucking heavy-duty boy. So when I told him, you know, that gay guy you don't like, that's who gave me this Coke. They would go, wow. He ain't that bad. Oh, he ain't that bad now.

They got good Coke. It's like, you know, it's the same thing with basketball. We hate black people, but we love Kobe Bryant. Oh, okay. So it's a, you love Kobe because the way he plays, but. It's the same thing. And I did the same thing because I was caught up in it. So in front of my friends, I had eight gay people.

But in my heart, I had no hatred for gay people. But then when they found out the Coke was electrifying. They were like, call the flag, though. Call him up. And then I had another gay guy who sold me Coke later on. They loved him. His name was Moondy. And his Coke was so good.

You bought an eight ball from him on a Friday. You didn't get home until Mundi. That was his slogan. His Coke was. so good. You're buying A. Ball on Friday. You don't get home to Mundi. Oh, my God. I didn't know drug dealers had slogan.

He did. He did. He was so fucking good. I don't know. Do you know any older gay people, Eric? Yeah. Yeah. Do you think it's a generational thing? Because maybe back then, Joe, your question was... I'm telling you that gay people in the 70s would... Listen, now we have... I could... Like, I fell in love with Eric because Eric wasn't flaunting his sexuality.

I feel, look at the guy from the comedy store, dear friend of mine, Jeff, the piano player. Right. I could tell Jeff is gay since day one that I met him. You know what I love about Jeff? He doesn't flaunt it to me. He doesn't sell it to me. He doesn't act creepy around me. There's some gay men in West Hollywood.

I mean one time I was eating at the Brazilian place across from one. It's not there no more. the Laf Factory used to have a Brazilian place to Gaucho Grill or something like that Oh fucking delicious And I was sitting on a table And there was a guy behind me I've said this I was like

Nobody could meet his gay Like he was over the top And I could tell the guy was just lonely He moved to Hollywood He went to an audition 20 auditions He didn't book nothing And somebody told him

You want to book stuff You gotta be gay And one night he went home and practiced his wall And he got tied to T-shirts and he started doing sit-ups to get the abs. You can bro, and in this town, tell me those guys don't exist. Look at the chick that was dating fucking

in Donny Brasco. Remember she was all gay? She did it, Alan. Now she got kids and whatever. She don't shoot no more movies. What do you think? Because when she stopped eating pussy, there was no more movies that was done.

But when she was gay, when she came out and said she was gay, she was working all the fucking time. So I know for a fact that it might, heart and I don't know people are listening to me going Joey how can you think be that cynical I'm telling you when it comes to Hollywood anything is possible people will do anything they will sell their souls so if it is being gay to being gay I just saw a show mom is it mom and it was an AA group and the guy was gay I know that dude because he was a producer on the mezos

I did a I did a gangster movie where I play a gay guy me and my brother are gay and and fucking It was like grass by the gay community. And the two got Michael Orpino is his name. I wonder where he is today. If anybody knows Michael or Pino, last time he worked, he was working on IKEA as a director for this. You wish you had this job.

Nine to five directing videos on how to put shit together. He had hit the jackpot, six figures. Yeah, because there's eight million. Nine to five. Nine to five. Clock in. that's a different type of directing no weekends no 12 hour

days he was like fuck this shit but because of him I met a lot we got to the gay film festival and all that stuff and I went to the fucking movie but I'm talking about this is 2001 guys

but like it was it was a great experience for me whatever but in Hollywood people that's why I think I fell in love with you because I could just read you You didn't flaunt it. You didn't.

Then I saw you on stage, told a joke about the fucking Arab. The punchline to that joke is what's really brilliant about you that you said. You went to lunch with you gay friends a day later. And they were like, you know, you're opposing urban outfitter. Did you see them get fucking looted last week? I was thinking about the joke. I was thinking about how many gay men were home crying.

Oh, my God. Urban outfit is now I'm going to have to go online. So. Did you see him? Lutin Urban Outfitters? It was gay guys looting urban outfits. No, they were not. If you asked Sam Trippel, those are CIA operatives.

Dressed up as fucking, those are CIA operatives. Don't get me started. But that's the brilliance of that joke that they said to you, you should boycott whatever outfit is or whatever. And you said, boycott, you think I'm worried about a boycott? I broke racial barriers, religious barriers. I'm a Catholic and I fuck the fucking ISIS

And what the fuck has ISIS been in the middle of all this If you're gonna bomb the United States This is the time This is the time We'd welcome it to this point At this time If somebody said to you that Isis went into the fucking D.C.

It blew themselves up You're like this is perfect ending to the story You just see a bunch of white people Running down the street because ISIS Some guy with a pin Just Abdullah Dula Pull the pin out I've been waiting for that all fucking week.

One fucking ISIS. Now is, I want to know who the fuck's running ISIS. Because they're slipping. If you're going to hit, this is the time now. Who's running ISIS? Why are they going to blow them? I would be blowing up the whole fucking country right now if I was ISIS. We're doing that by yourself.

I'd be fucking spreading hummus, dropping hummus bombs from planes. Dropping them everywhere, all over Texas. You know how people are finding rocks? I'd be finding hummus everywhere. They'd be canisters of hummus on every block on the corner. People are all these hummus is coming from. Who the fuck is running ISIS? You failed.

This is the time. You're slipping. Who are you slipping? Unbelievable. I've been thinking about this all week. What a fucking ISIS is all this? ISIS is scared of COVID. You know when the COVID came out?

ISIS told them, listen, if you're out there and you got COVID, don't come back. You're on your own. So ISIS lost strength. They were scared of COVID. They're done. If you're a gangster, you can't be scared of COVID. How interesting is that? This is very interesting.

This is a fact I found out from a dear friend of mine, a cop, by the way. That last week, they looted the... Urban outfits. No, not the urban outfits. They looted... They said they were looting the higher area... Higher income marriage, yeah. I heard that down in...

The reason why they didn't go to Compton and all those neighbors and East Islanders, is because those motherfuckers said, listen, we went through this in 92. What are fucking around? You come into our neighborhoods. We will blast fucking protesters. That's what I heard, bro.

I heard anybody coming into our neighborhood. I heard the Mexican business owner. So next time you hear the media telling you that these protesters didn't want to protest low-end or whatever, no, it's at the low-end people. The cops told me this. The cop, a friend of mine, told me that. they didn't go down there because the Mexicans

and all the black people down there said, African Americans said, don't even think of coming down. I love that. We will shoot your fucking brains out. I love that. So that's what really happens. So see how everything is kind of different.

Anyway, back to something I was asking. So how do you recommend somebody come out? Do you go see a psychiatrist or all? No, I don't. No, because I'm not saying about you. Have you had gay friends that to come out? They went and spoke to a psychics. Yeah, especially now, I think that that's a good way for people to do that.

I think another thing is you've got to seek it out in a way. The nice thing about today is it's not like the 1970s where, I mean, I have older gay friends and those people of anybody in the Pride community. Those guys have my respect more than. any motherfucker today because those guys went through some shit. Now here's the difference. Those motherfuckers stayed in

during the COVID thing. But the 84, 85 gay guys, the ones that battled AIDS in the beginning, they were out. Oh, fuck you. They were like, fuck, we fucked AIDS up. COVID ain't doing shit to me. I'll spit in COVID's face. I always fucking met up the app when Hib was going around like fucking

joints or reefer. And you think I'm scared of COVID? We're not wearing a mask. We're not doing nothing. What's sucking dick that this whole thing is over? Sperm cures the fucking COVID. You shoot some sperm down in your throat and kills COVID. It's proven. See, how many gay men got COVID over this?

Zero. Zero. HIV men didn't attract this. HIV men were like 2%. Look up the fucking stats. I swear to God. COVID is scared of fucking gay men. They're like, gay men don't give a fuck about COVID. There's no come in your mouth. And that sperm

just kills like COVID right in the windpipe. It just staggles it. You know a lot about this, Joe? Did I ever tell you? He called me. He called me one day. It was late. And I didn't, I look.

I had messages from Joey. And I go, what the fuck? And I play it. And it's late at night. I just hear Joey go, dog. Liberacee was a bad motherfucker. He was. He was.

Holy. He didn't give a fuck. He didn't give a fuck. He just kept saying. I love Liborachi. All my life. Once I watched that movie and see how he was creeping up

on young boys and shit and make him do plastic surgery to look like him. Shit, I started looking into it. I Wikipedia that motherfucker. I went down a Liberace foxhole one night. Oh my God.

He did that to a hundred dudes. He was just busting assholes. He made him a driver. He made him do plastic surgery. That's mental abuse. Clean the pool. All that shit. That's mental abuse.

He had Giorgio. He made a high. How much plastic surgery? Do you remember he couldn't fucking shut his eyes? Yeah, he couldn't shut his eyes. He's snoring and he's fucking... And his eyes all over from all the plastic surgery. Liberace should have been thrown behind bars

next to Harvey Weinstein in the gay community. If he was alive, they'd charge him with crimes against humanity. Oh, he fucking... Trust me. He's pointed so many people. He fucked people up, though. He was catching those young boys in the 70s. They were coming out here to go to Hollywood. I want to be on Melrose.

Come here, I got to show you something. Next thing, you know, you're fucking at his house, rubbing his toes, thinking to yourself, where the fuck is my life gone? Putting his wig on a fucking wig. He had a wig. I can't imagine a guy with a wig fucking me and he has. That's one of my biggest fucking fears. What do you're going to do with the wig?

I would have to turn around and bit slap him. Now, if I fuck the guy with a wig, I would come on his wig. I would pick up, I would pick up his wig, come on his baldhead, and put the wig back. I'd smooched that cup on that wig. And you know me, I got those big balls. It'd be like an Oreo cookie with extra fucking white juice. That motherfucker.

You'd be double-stuffs? That motherfucker would move for years. It'd be hurricane-tested. The Mardi's wigs don't come off. Even underwater. Even underwater. Joey's wings don't come off even underwater. Oh, my God.

This is what we need, ladies and gentlemen. America, enough with the fucking... Who cares what Donnie Warburg did 306 years ago. You need laughter in your life and I was here today because I'm dying inside for the last month. Everybody's scared. That's it. It's all over.

Now, let me ask you a question. Can I tell you who my favorite fucking gay 70s guy was? Do you remember Paul Lind? Yes. Oh, do you know who Paul Lind is? Oh, my God. He was on Threes Company. No, Paul Lynn was a Hollywood Square. Yes. Do you remember Charlotte's Web? He was the little gay rat. Hey, Charlotte, you got any garbage?

Well, here's the thing about it. My agent before the Longest Yard was a badass gay guy. I mean, I love the death. I haven't seen him. He went to Germany. It was really weird. He had the agency, and then he went to Germany. And he got sick. Okay. And he went to Germany. Then he came back and I bumped into him and Marie T one day at the coffee shop.

And we hugged, you know. I mean, he was a little mad at me because I left him. Because I had like six agents before I got the longest yard. Will you call me back for the first offer. Got it. Everybody else got hung up on it. Hey, you owe me 10%. Fuck you.

You didn't get nothing. I told you to work early. I told you to get to work in 10. I had like three agents. So they all went out of variety and saw the write-up. So they started calling me, hey, you got the longest yard. How do I get in my commission? I go, you get dick.

You didn't close it. I told you every fucking day. I'm the one that sent the tape in. He was one of those guys. He got really upset with me. So I told him, you got to go fuck yourself. That's why I told you to be at that office at 10. You didn't go to the office at 10.

They called. They ended up, it was the weirdest thing. The people who submitted me for the longest yard, like they submitted me and then they ever heard back. And then the longest yard called a distant friend of mine that's a public relations chick and said, do you know how we get the whole of Joey Diaz? Like after my agency

call. Are you serious? That means nobody really got to them. Nobody fucking did. Nobody got to abandon a call in her. And then I went in. And I booked apart. Yeah. And then I gave J.K.A. the commission. But that commission could have gone to a guy named Fred or this guy. And people were still

calling you about commissions even though they didn't. Yeah, because Fred told me that they wanted to start. So you didn't fight for me You didn't go around the back way And go this guy's a comic So I had to figure out that yeah I'm not a star

But I'm going up against two guys that aren't comedians And Adam Sandler is a comedian So let me give I don't give a fuck what they want to see Let me go submit it myself But anyway back to that gay dude Doesn't fucking matter about the longest shirt How the fuck do we get on that

That's why I hate doing Riefer That seems like you hate it That's why I hate to fuck a pot Paul Lynn You need to look up who Paul Linda. He is fucking hilarious. He would say the gayish shit.

Like, and he, no, but like, he wasn't out, right? He wasn't publicly out. I think so. I think if you knew that world, you knew who's gay. Yeah. But if you didn't know that world. Yeah, just like regular fucking housewife.

He would, he would answer like in Hollywood squares. He would tell, oh, God, what am I going to tell him now? And you would just, yeah, like a weird laugh and shit. He was creepy. You could tell. He was. and dick up here. In 1970, you want to come back to my place?

You can just hear it in his voice. Oh, God. It was, he was in everything for a while. They put him in everything, but I didn't think that, I don't think that in the 70s, they even looked at that, like, you hit it, you really hit it.

Even Little Richard, like, that was my favorite fucking gay guy when you look back of people that, like, now he pissed me off because he renounced that he was ever gay and it's like okay motherfucker whatever like if if that's really how you feel then that's fine

it's it's you know to each their own but he would the shit that Richard would do was fucking brilliant just even the oh I know that I'm good honey shut up and everybody just fucking looked at him yeah

1960 for you to say you were gay and black Jesus Christ yeah that's like saying you got COVID and to have you know what I'm saying I got the head of Vancouver. Let me give you an elbow. You're going your way. I won't see you again.

You know what I'm saying? You're like, you're like Paulie and fucking the godfather. You're not going to see him no more. You're not going to see him no more. You know, it's like being gay and black at the same time in 1960. You know, watch the Green Book. Yeah. When they caught him in the fucking game.

Oh, the white guy. You remember they didn't want to undo the cuffs? They just wanted to leave him there. Like the public shaming. That was, it must have been Rob. See, that's why, that's why I loved Little Richard, though, is because he was fucking flamboy. And people stole his shit all the time.

They always used to say that rock and roll stole from those guys from Chuck Barry, from Little Richard, all that shit. That's, that's why it disappointed me. But I understood it. Like, I get, you know, the guys in the... So in his autobiography, at the end, he renounced. Well, he was dead. Towards the end, he just said, you know, I...

I renounce that lifestyle. And, you know, he found his way back to church. And he was older. And I get it. But, you know, it doesn't make a little gay kid or a little lesbian girl say, oh, okay, that's my champion. But, you know, that's the problem is these questions are so complex. Everybody wants a solid answer. And it's just like, no, like, listen, you know, my family, my great grandma probably wouldn't have

been okay with me being gay you know and that's that's a big but she was amazing to my mother does that mean that i renounce her completely and it's like no if you really want to have a fucking conversation you've got to have that conversation people got to understand all aspects of it you how many friends i have i have gay sons see now that's tough How many friends I have from Jersey that have gay sons? I got two friends I grew up with that have gay sons, and they've told me right out,

and they've told me like a lunch, and I'm ready to laugh, and I'm like, because I grew up with this guy, and I remember them being 13 saying, fuck gay people, and now, you know, we all pay for our sins, and now you're putting up your son's gay, and it's so weird how I see the pictures of him with his son,

and he loves his son, and, you know, But I have two dear friends that they have a gay son. We have great conversations. I never, you know, they tell me about their, and it's weird when they're talking to me about their sons. And I appreciate it that they're not, they're proud. At one point, listen, you want to be proud. And that's what it is.

That's why it's such a complex thing. But should your friends be tried for shit that they said before they had the gay kid? That's why I'm saying is, you know what? It was a different time period. I watched. Exactly. I watched Delirious and I still fucking laugh at Eddie Murphy's Mr. T. That is fucking hilarious.

And again, though, you know what? I came out of fucking blazing saddles when they showed it at a, it was at an arc light, right? I came out and I still love that fucking movie. And they were like, this is, it's terrible. It's terrible. It is so blatantly racist. And I was like, did you pay attention? to that movie though

because every white person in Blazing Saddles is just about a fucking idiot every single one remember Johnson Howard Johnson is right about Fred Johnson they're all related because they're all fucking each other everybody in that town

Bill Johnson is right about Howard Johnson about Ted John and that you realize and then the cattle stampede right through all of them we've had women stampeded and cattle raped you know it's I love that shit. I think that, you know, it's like when they, it's like when they made veto gay, I'm the Sopranos.

You know, and here's this gangster that you see him at a bar now. And trust me, he wasn't the first gay gangster. Oh, fuck, yeah. He wasn't the first gay one. They've had, like, five of them that, that well-known, that they're great. I grew up with a guy that was a trend, a cross-dresser. And everybody knew it. It was nobody's business, whatever he did during a week at night.

You know, we hung out until six. Everything was fine. You just see him. Doug, no, we made a point not to see it. We overlooked it with love. We overlooked it with love. I had so much love for the dude that, you know what? At this point, if you want to be a cross-dresser,

and I just heard about it, I ain't going to be mad at you. You know what I'm saying? Don't be coming over to my house when I got six guerrillas expecting any love, because I can't save you. I got six guerrillas on my couch. You're walking over with a twisted wig. I can't help you on your own. I'll try.

I've got a ball peen ham. I'll try to help you. It's 1970, you know. You got a bolt pit. Have you ever seen Crooklyn? Oh, fuck, yeah. That's what I grew up in. Really?

Brooklyn, when you walk into the bodega, and there's a Puerto Rican transvestite, and he's fucking telling the kid, like, getting the kids like, what the fuck is going on? That was the, like, in every Latino neighborhood in the 70s, there was one cross.

dresser you know and and and sometimes he caught a beating sometimes he was somebody's brothers so they gave him like a pass just yeah don't stand on this neighborhood bro go over that you know like just don't stand on this corner exactly it's so weird with the things I saw and my reaction and what's like people's expect like I want you to tell me something today I want you to tell me 10 dirty secrets that straight men don't know about gay guys Okay. Well, I got to say this, though, in terms of helping, because I do want to say this. First off, I want to just say something. I don't want to, I don't want people listening going, look at Joey recruiting.

Fucking trying. Was he getting 10%? Maybe. I don't know yet. I haven't decided with deal with West Hollywood. What I'm going to do. But I don't want them to go to West High. I want them to be Valley. Gay men. I want them to have a little bit more dignity. A little bit more dignity, a little less industry, a little less amazing. Suck that fucking pipe, Harry. You got it, buddy. You know what I'm saying? Who you got to? tonight the LA fucking king fuck no I got the assholes you know what I that's a difference that is different you have

never ever and this is this is the good thing though and and you know if you're coming up and you are gay you've got to understand this too comedy breaks so many fucking barriers it really does because really does like one one thing I always loved about you

and I will say this too you the Verzi trippets and Luke Allen My comic friends, like my family, never been afraid to make a gay joke. When I, like, if I'm dancing, either one of my comic buddies, like I just mentioned, they'll say, check out fucking Vito and the Sopranos. And I'll stop dancing. But it's always giving shit, though. It's always giving shit.

And we just, fuck you. Right, Vito. So you love a fuck a dude straight? But that's the thing, though. No, no. Like, did you ever have a dude that just was, like, dabbling? Like, he wasn't sure. Like, he's like, you know what?

I did it one time and you were like, I'm going to take a Viagra. Fuck this motherfucker. I'm going, I'm going to take 300 milligrams. I'm going. It's either this. What's this? It's either Reno or bust.

I want this guy to tap out and go home and say, you know what? I tried that gay thing and it wasn't for me, Doug. I ended up in a hospital. You know? The hospital. Oh, fuck yeah, because you're fucking them sideways. You got to hit the kidney.

Like I thought you're a day. You fuck them. the right, you hit the liver. It's like a liver kick. It's like John Jones kicking in the liver. You got to fuck them. You ever fuck somebody? You hit him like, you're banging them from both directions.

Like a woman, you never do that leaf. You hang all the... I never got to hit them in the liver. Yeah, you got to bang them. If you fuck him in the pussy, you can't reach the liver. But if you're fucking a man in the ass, and you got a 12-inch cock, eventually, like a magician, that one's going to hit the liver.

I broke it down. I'm talking about fucking a dude up the ass. He's like, my liver hurts. Ah! Ah! I can't stand. You ever see when somebody gets kicked to the liver? They just go down.

He's held up by your dick. Your dick's got him. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That's the shit I want to hear. Like, you fuck somebody that they called you up like a week later. So listen, ma'am, I'm changing my number. Because that was a horrible experience. My intestines hurt. I'm still squirt. Every time I shit,

a little bit of blood comes out. A little bit. Wait till they get you. A lot the blood's going to come back. No one's going to near me. You're going to be like a hemophiliac. And I'm sorry. I ate like three garlic pills.

I want to fart in here to put some gay incense in here for you. The garlic pills backfire with it. I thought compoche and garlic pills would set this room on fire, but it actually failed on a Monday. I'm sorry. I totally, I'm going to eat four garlic pills tonight. a protein powder and a bottle of compocha. And then this morning I ate three garlic pills with scrambled eggs

and I fucking, I totally, I go, I'm going to fart so much. I'm going to drive Eric crazy with that smell of raw asshole and I'm just going to walk out and have him and just rape you to death. You just jump on top of rape and leave him here. Come back Monday. He's hanging here from the thing.

The Roberto Clemente pictures down. The door is open. Lee's crying in the corner. What happened? You don't believe what happened? I can't tell you. He's handcuffed like that guy in Green Book.

See, he's already thought about fucking it. You see what I'm saying? It's predetermined. How much do you thought about it? It's like Murder 3 with that dude up in fucking Minneapolis. I got gifts for you guys. I got to show you this. This is your, okay.

Joey, this is your pride fan. Thank you. So if it's ever hot. Oh, my God. I'm keeping this right here. Okay. Now, Lee, this is your. pride fan. It's a little different.

Thank you. All right, check out Lee's. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You know, I've been thinking about you a lot. But the other night, I really thought, you know, I've watched some great movies. This is great.

I'm going to tell you, a movie. Who's better than me? Look at me. I look at me. I look at a Chinese guy. Tach, da-tag-da-da-da-da-da-da-a-ni. Niani. Sorry, far, me sick on me.

I wish I was gay I would work this fan and shit You know how they worked those little knives Those little Chinese people I would work this fan like a motherfucker Chinese Oh shit A shout out to the LGBT community brother

We love you motherfuckers I love what you're doing I dog the thing that heard of me the most On this whole corona Is that they cancel gay pride There's the only people They fucked up gay pride Fuck those dirty people down in the what's those dirty people that get together walking man and

Oh, burning man. That's HIV man. That's what they should call them. Guys you get down there. HIV, COVID and foot fungus. That's all you get down there. Can't breathe. Oh, fuck. See, this is a Monday podcast, ladies and gentlemen. We're trying to fucking break the mode here. We said some things that were off color, but who gives us a fuck? What would you rather sit there worried about dying or you know or laughing a little bit this is what it's all about on a Monday fucking morning and we provided it today you know what I'm saying

Eric man give me one thing that white guys don't know or any men know that they would make them interest like I always like that shit about choking a motherfucker with a dick was tremendous I never put a ball in the girl's mouth that would be

tremendous the one thing that might freak you the fuck out fisting is making a comeback. Oh my God. This is it. You read that. What's it say? I got to put my glasses.

Okay. Lee, what's it say? Bok, Boy Butter. Oh, my God. You sound like, you sound like the news.

Like, you put, well, you wear a glove. You wear a glove? You wear a glove? You get yourself. Yeah,

you're a pussy. What are you fucking Han from fucking into the dragon? You show up with one little I am. What if you're like one of those dudes like, like, With like a little retarded hand. And he flipped on.

Oh, those guys are getting some action. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. This has been too much. This is eight weeks of repression, I haven't gone off. We've been here talking about fuck the subjects.

I just want to do a podcast that was fun on a Monday. Whether you agree or not, whether we're recruiting young gay men, fucking everybody was recruiting. Scientology. gay community what the fuck is the leader of ISIS I want to get a

I gotta call him collect you gotta bomb somebody Rhode Island somebody you gotta Buffalo go get those 50s you gotta bomb somebody ISIS I mean they're wide open

and like people like oh he did this for the podcast Eric and I drove to San Diego once and he was just quiet for a second I look over he's watching gay porn on his phone

just like in the middle He was trying to He was trying to fucking He was trying to make you look See, that's how they get you They're pouring first It's like Spanish people With black beans and rice

He goes look at this ass I forget for a minute That he's gay He'll show me a girl's ass and the gay He's fucking this other guy He's on the phone with his mom And I'm sure like What do you think?

What do you think of it? Oh my God Oh yeah So when you fist the guy in the asshole What is he doing? Is he dying inside? Honestly I'll be

I've never never went full fist. No. Easy. Jesus. I wouldn't even want to go full fist. This is what I've done. I put my hand in their ass and don't like these things. You just open up your hand with like three

fingers in their ass a little bit. Like their puppet? It's called the WiiWile. Yeah. WeeW. You put like three little fingers in their ass and just stretch out the asshole. That's tremendous. I can't imagine fisting somebody in the ass. That's just, they're going to press charges.

They're going to come back on you. Somewhere. along the line they gotta come back on you you can't stick a fist up my ass that's not right that's that's inhumane that's that's roman empire type shit that's galliator

what's his name gladiator galleyate what the fuck is a galeator the fuck is wrong with me between galileo and gala i love you guys for having a sense of humor Eric thank you very much for that tweet i love you man

I love you being me, always being my friend. Thank you for sending me personal message. Thank you for putting Lee in your tweets. It's good to just fucking get some laughs. I love the shit out of both you guys. Just to see you again. No, it was great to see you too.

I was thinking, you know, people are like, oh, you need names on the pie. You know, bro, you just need to have fun on your podcast. If you don't have fun, what's the point of this whole fucking thing? I want you motherfuckers to know they rescheduled my braid dates to the 25th. to the 27th guys it's pretty since it's only 200 a show it's pretty much already sold out they've got to move people from Saturday to Thursday and Friday night so I don't know what the ticket situation is you have to call your Braia improv and find out but uh that's all I got for you right now it's just Brad June 25th to the 27th and then I'm going to start doing it out there I think the third Tuesday of every month or something I'll keep you guys posted on dates but this is it just because all this shit we're back to work

don't mean don't take nothing for granted brother we don't know nothing yet keep putting on that mask keep social distancing you know keep your activities long till we find out for sure with all the shit that's been going on there could be a mass immunity whatever the fuck

you know all you smart people know but just keep yourself on the watchful arm Eric I want to thank you again brother for being my friend always making me how much do we laugh I was say this is what it is that we have we have And this is why I said, you know what? I'm sick and tired of interviews.

I'm sick and tired of talking to people. I'm sick and tired of tiptoeing around things the last two weeks. You know, I didn't want to come on here and repeat what the news is saying. I just want to have a good time with you people. Exactly. Wednesday, we'll be back for fucking Bruce Lee. But real quick, before we wrap it up, don't forget what I told you, man. I went through a roller coaster with you guys.

On this one, you guys, it's emailing me, thanking me and Lee for being here during this time. I want to thank you guys for being on that end because if you guys listen to my podcast in the 15th, you listen to my podcast today, you'll listen to the differences in my voice. You can hear the fear in my voice. You guys sued that.

So I owe you what you owe me, okay? So thank you very much for supporting us during this difficult time and we always got your back. But as usual, I gotta tell you, man, Honit really fucking helped me. I went back on the Alpha Brain. I went back on the Shroom Tech.

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Give them a shot. Take a chance Columbus did. First time orders, 20% off. Delivered to your house. Pressing code. Church. C.H.U.R.C. I want to thank Eric Roach in the crazy gay world of Eric Rocher.

I want to thank the fucking Christkiller, Lee Syatt. But most importantly, I want to thank you guys for being family. I love you motherfuckers. Wave the gay fucking. Oh, my God. If I was Gabby. slinging dick with that.

This would be like gang signs for me. You know what I'm saying? This means fisting. This means half moon. This means fucking half and half. I got fucking hang signals for you. I'll see you on the corner. My mouth is on fire.

My asshole is on fire. I love you guys. Wednesday morning. 6 a.m. I'll see you then. Thank you again. I'll grope. Kick this fucking mule, Lee, Syatt.