The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #812 - Annie Lederman

Episode Date: August 12, 2020

Annie Lederman, a comedian, actor heard as Cheryl in "GTA V," and host of the "Meanspiration" podcast, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: Express VPN - Get 3 months free at www.expressvpn.com/church Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout on your first order.  

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This is the year of the fucking soldier. We're going in like fucking Marines. You understand me? Welcome to church, motherfucker. My girl, Annie Letterman in the motherfucking house. What's happening, sexy thing? Oh, what's up? I'm decided I'm going to be a vlogger.

I just decided 10 minutes before I got here. A fucking vlog, okay. Good. How you've been, my love? I've been good. How is this thing fucking damaged you at all? It's been a goddamn roller coaster, but I'm on an upswing right now. You look great.

I feel good. You look great. I'm enjoying the time off, the force time off. How long have you been doing comedy? 11 years. And this is the first fucking break. Like, this has been. Well, the longest I took off was recently over Christmas.

Just because the flights were cheaper, I ended up taking, uh, 10 days off. I've never taken more than like four days off ever. And I did 10 days with my family to the point where they were, my brother was, he was a gift to leave my house. Everyone's like, it's weird. You're still here. The girls went back to school. They were like, why is auntie still here? So they finally got rid of me. And I made my parents stay too. And my dad and I were talking about it. We're so grateful for that. We're so lucky we had that extra time. It's like we knew or something. So we had this really long, intense, amazing, fun. You know, I've really. brother has a fire pit in the back so we all sit around my family smoke so we get all you know

everybody's giggly my dad likes to cure his glaucoma what are you hearing from philadelphia how is philadelphia doing as a city well my parents have not left the house they don't leave they go on walks um all suited up and my dad's 79 so he's not fucking around which i'm so glad if they were the parents that are out ignoring the whole thing not believing in masks i would be having a heart attack So they've been doing much. And then my older brother, you know, he just masks up. He's a salesman, so he goes out a little bit for work here and there. And my sister-in-law works in a hospital that ever working from home.

I don't know. And maybe I'm wrong. But isn't one of your brothers like a Celtics reporter? My twin brother is an Emmy Award-winning producer for the, yeah, for NBC Sports in Boston. Is he in the bubble? Did they send him to the bubble or no? They didn't send him to the bubble. Oh, that would have been crazy.

He's working from home. Oh, okay. But he's doing, they started doing it. started doing live shows again, which is hard. I mean, it's hard. Things are getting cut. People, you know, there'll be like scandals. People like, why'd you cut it off there? And like, we're working from our basements.

Nobody's planning any of these things. How fucking crazy. I mean. And then the internet is waiting for any, because everyone's so bored, they're home. So they're watching everything. They're waiting for some sort of slip up or mistake or something that looks unwoke or something, you know. And they wait for things.

And then they pounce. And you're like, we're all just in our basements trying to do our jobs. Everyone's got their kids. So my brother's got his daughters upstairs. I feel like every time I go on the internet now, it's like going on OTB. You ever going to OTB? Like, walk-track betting,

it's just fucking people arguing. That's what the internet is to me now. Well, I try to go on there in the morning, say what I got to say, post and I get the fuck out of there. Suck my dick, cuck, stuggers. Yeah, because if not,

I had to, like, say something to somebody a couple weeks. Look, the internet right now should be something you go to for like a half hour. Because if you, I spoke to somebody on the phone one day who was on the internet and he called me jacked up. People are getting jacked up on the internet. What do you mean? Like fired up about something.

Oh, yeah. About the coronavirus and all that shit. And I tried to tell him, I go, listen, I was hooked on the news for the first month, as we all were. Yeah. You know, ABC World News Tonight isn't the number one watch news Because nobody watches the fucking news during the coronavirus We all watched it at 6.30 and, you know, we learned about different things.

Until one day I go, look at my position when I'm watching this. Look at my body language. I'm pressed all the way back. You're like, yeah, like I'm fucking like this, like, and I'm focusing. Like I got to go on my left eye because my left eye is stronger than my right eye. I can kind of tell now that you say. I catch myself like, which is TV. And I go, stop, Joey, stop.

Look at the position you're in. Look at what you look like. And I go, that's it. I turned the fucking TV off. So I made a rule, like, after like the first week, I told my wife, I go, listen, we got to make a rule. No TV in the house for the kid either. Yeah. Because it's not.

We'll all go crazy. So we called it to six, by April. First, we already had the six o'clock rule. No fucking TV until six o'clock. And even then, don't even put it on into it. Then we went to the point where don't put it on after dinner. And I'm the type of motherfucker. I can't watch Jeopardy.

Like, once Jeopardy comes on, that means you got to, as comics, as a human, like when I was a kid and my friends, I was staying with the Runnies. His father watched Jeopardy. You know how I knew? The Runnies? Yeah, the last name was the Runnies. Oh, the Runnies. The Runnies. Oh, my God.

Your last name's Runny's? That's terrible. Are you and any? They're my family. So they took me in in 1981. And whenever Jeopardy was coming on, I remember I was walking past him to go in a shower. It's 7 o'clock.

You get ready. If you're anybody at 7 o'clock, you get ready. Yeah, you're not winding down. You're not sitting down watching. I do like to watch a little Wheel of Fortune to get me. That's the one afterward. Ready to go. That's the one at 730.

That's what I'm really fucking suicidal. If I sit there, if I sit there, like, that's what I was doing, I would watch the fucking 630 news and be so blown away and so scared that I would actually catch myself sitting there like fucking anxietyed out till about 740 and I go, what am I doing with my life? And I would get up, wash my hands, put the mask on and go for a ride. Yeah. This is before anything. This is when it was still just quarantine. Everybody wasn't angry.

Yeah. This is, you know. Well, that three days. Yeah. But didn't last long. So that's, I figured out all those things. I knew that right away, in the beginning, my anxiety level went right up. And I remember that my doctor, I had a heart appointment.

Oh, I thought you were like, if you had a heart publication during this, would you not free to fuck that? I had like a hard appointment like March 28th, right? I had no, I had a heart appointment like March 20. Like, yeah, doctor's appointment right now. We shut down March 16th. That was the official shutdown. So I had a doctor's appointment like that Thursday that they rescheduled

for like two weeks later as a visual Zoom. Oh, okay. And when I went on there with him, like two weeks later, that's what he said to me, how are you feeling, blah, blah, blah. And he goes, how's your anxiety?

I go, it's horrible. He goes, I can tell, but look on your face. And once he sent me those fucking things, Like I had some at the house I had a regular prescription From my family doctor Or my heart doctor sent them to me the baby one

Yeah But I tell you what I wouldn't eat those to go to sleep But I would eat those in the daytime To keep me together Like it was bad The whole month of March I did that What do you think you're

Oh I'm sure that fucking helped your anxiety dude Weed is a sneaky one Because weed I told you you asked me if I wanted to smoke And I'm like during COVID if I smoke weed I feel like I have it. Well, every time I ate an edible. I go like, oh my God, it's hard to breathe. It's like, yeah, you just took a bomber.

Bong, bitch. Rick, bomb, bong rip. I'm not high. Bong rip. Yeah, no, no. The edibles, I started eating the edibles. Last time I went to the store was March 3rd. I already was hit.

When I went to Vegas, February 28th, they were already talking about it in Vegas. Vegas was at 50% occupancy. I did not believe any, like, Little Esther. Do you know Little Esther? She's at the Comedy Store. Who? Little Esther.

Yes, absolutely. She's had a special come out, by the way. Everybody check it out. It's so funny. I retweet it for it. But she is one of my really good friends. And she knew about this. She was following someone's account that lived in Italy.

So she knew about this way before anyone was talking about on the news. And she would talk to me about. She was like, are you scared? I'm like, I'm not fucking scared. Like, what are you talking about? Of course, I'm not scared of shit like that. Like, what are you talking about? And then it got closer.

And then that last night at the comedy store, I was on the, lineup and I was like no guys I'm not doing it it was like that Friday night right before they shut everything down but we knew it was coming and I just went no I'm not and I was supposed to be in New York no March night through the 18th right I was supposed to be in New York so my anxiety started that when I got back from When I got back from Vegas, I got our stage on Tuesday. It was the last time I went down to the store. I did Sam's show.

And then on the way out, I could smell it in the air. On a Tuesday night, when it's most packed, the hallways. And it was out already. People were talking about COVID, but nobody was practicing shit at the store. Yeah. And I was like, I'm not coming down here. No, yeah. I was like, I knew that Tuesday that I wasn't going down there.

Weeks before this happened, maybe even the week before, I was watching Joe on stage in the main room, and you know they had just changed the lights in the main room where they made it darker and it looked so cool. Do you remember? Yeah. So I'm watching Rogan from the side, and I'm seeing how much spit is coming out of his mouth.

And I go, oh, man, we have a really spitty job. I've never really seen it with the lights low like that. I go, wow, this is like a spitty-ass job. And then we're in a world where spit is a knife in your throat at this point. so we're not it's great i was just thinking about that like when it was in italy and all over asia i was watching the news but i never thought it was going to come here

i was like maybe but it's not well we'll be done in two weeks like italy dude we're cocky we're cocky i was in Vegas and i was in splashes bodyguard came to the show cool and he told me i've known him for years chemo he told me that

Guns and Roses had to cancel their Asian tour and that they were about to only just do Mexico City that the United States tour was still men's and men's I'm like what are you talking about so I got hit with all this February 28th when I'm in Vegas and the manager that runs the comedy club is like the city of Las Vegas is at 50% the following week for the UFC

the city was at 14. Why didn't they tell us all this early? Nobody was telling you that. And so when he told me that they quit the guns and roses, that's when I got hip to it. And that's Saturday, I think I went to the store. And then Sunday, we did the podcast. Monday I stayed in.

Tuesday I went to the store and I started to feel it. I could smell it in the air. I've always been one of those guys that, like when you go to a child care, like a daycare, you could smell. Like if you go to a school now, if you ever have to go to a school, school now as an adult, you could smell the flu in the air. I mean, I'm so glad that's it. That was the scariest setup for a thing.

What's that? You know the smell when you go to kids. I'm like, oh no, no, no, no, no. Joey, not in this climate. Like when I used to drop off mercy, you could smell the flu in the air. Oh, they're dirty. I was a nursery school teacher. I got shingles when I was 19 years old because I was a nursery school.

I'm supposed to be 87 years old when I get shingles for the first time. I got like a grown-ups problem. Because the kids were so dirty. They're dirty. They can't help. When you go into a school now, like when I drop Mercy off or their school, when you go in a classroom, you could kind of smell something. Yeah. Something lives.

I know that's not smell. That's not smell. It's disgusting. So I smelled that at the comedy store, March 3rd. Ooh. I smelt it in that main room. I went into the back. There was 15 people in the green room when the door was closed.

There's no windows. Yeah. I walked in and went, oh. And I fucked closed the door and ran to the back door. And I stood by the back door until I went up on stage. And then I went around and I did my original room set. And I'm like, that's it. Because think about, we're so addicted to what we do.

I mean, it's an adrenaline rush. You know, we perform every night. We do these things. And then there's been, we've all had probably those shows. We're like, oh, I probably should have stayed in it. I'm sick. I should have stayed in another night. Like, oh, fuck.

I probably got people sick or whatever. But you're not, it's not sick. that's going to fucking kill them. And then so people don't know that yet. And then they're going in a little sick still and they're super contagious. I mean, so many people must have gotten it.

Well, New York, did you hear the Michael Yo story? I don't know how he got it. Okay, Michael Yo is it Gotham? And after we're doing the green room and it was Michael Yo, Jeffrey Grurion. Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah.

Jeffrey Grurian. Big ball, Pete. Leaves to Lampinelli's ex-husband, Frankie. Yeah, I know, yeah, yeah. And Chris Mozilla. So they were all sitting in the green. Oh, my God. What a cast of characters.

So four of them, out of the four of them, three of them got COVID. Chris Mizzily didn't get it. Big Ball Pete was at the hospital. Jeffrey Gurion was in the hospital. Yeah, I saw that. And Michael Yo was in the hospital. Damn. I was supposed to be in New York that weekend.

I was going to be in Nyack that Thursday. Thank God. I have arthritis in my knee. And Monday the 9th. You, and you hurt that fucking knee on purpose. No, no, no, no. That was the hamstring in November.

See, I was trying to twist, make a twist. I have arthritis in my knee, and I had to go get a shot in my knee, a gel. And the next day, my knee swelled up that Tuesday, and I go, this is my app. I had Nyack on Thursday, and then I was in the hang in the city over the weekend, and then go do the movie on St. Paddy's Day and that Monday. that was the original plan Tuesday I wake up the knee's swollen I called the doctor

and he goes don't fly until Saturday put ice on it so I took a picture to knee and sent it to the producers I was just buying time I was just buying time because I knew that guy that guy went to Italy the Jewish guy and he went to the synagogue

and New Rochelle is this a joke? There's a true story No no no no it's a true story he went to a fucking synagogue and he spread it like wildfire. They must hate him in the neighbor. They must fucking hate him in the neighborhood.

He fucked everybody. It's the religious hangs and comedy. He went to Italy to ski. Already he gets on my fucking nerves. He couldn't just go to Aspen like every other fucking Jew. You're going to go to fucking Italy to show off. You know what I'm saying? That's to tell people like we went there.

I fucking hate that shit. If you really want to ski, go to Switzerland. You know what I'm saying? saying, but he got to go to Italy. I'm not even going to fucking get started because it pisses me off. Jewish people supposed to be a little smarter than that shit. You're cheap. You're not supposed to go to Italy.

You're supposed to go to Farkhamis, New Jersey like every other fucking Jew in Schee. Right? Every other Jew goes to Paramas. Whatever the fuck. What's it called? Well, I used to go to Waterville in Maine, but... Yeah, whatever. They go up there. Waterville is a place? I think so. Imagine you're naming a town. You're like,

hmm, how about Waterville? It's the worst name I've ever heard. Can you pass me those Lysol wipes? I'm getting so paranoid. What's that? I just want to wipe off the mic. I'm just imagining. I'm so paranoid.

I wipe everything. I mean, I trust you. Because my daughter does. There's nothing in there. There's one. I want to save it for you. No,

take it because I got more than this. You're older than me. You're more at risk. No, go ahead. You have arthritis in your knee. It's a preexisting. That's what fucking saved me. I know.

I didn't have to go. They canceled the shoot Friday night. And let me tell you something. I could even breathe on fucking. and I couldn't even breathe by that time. My anxiety was so fucking bad. It just sucks that the symptoms of anxiety are the same as COVID.

Heavy breathing and body aches. I don't know. Do you get body aches? I don't get body aches either. I don't get body aches. I just said a thing and I'm trying to. But it was weird when we discussed in the beginning of the podcast

that we all, this was good that it happened. I think we were, and this includes me. It's a sad statement to make. I think we're all as comedians, we were like co-dependent on that comedy store. Not as a living, but as like a crime.

I don't know what it was. I don't know what it was. And it was looking at it from a different angle to find out that it wasn't normal. Yeah. Well, there's always this really fun, exciting, adrenaline rush hang. I mean, it was epic,

it was so fun hanging. out in the back and the VIP and stuff. I mean, I would talk to Joe every night. We'd just like, I can't believe this are our lives. I mean, obviously his life is a little different than mine, but it's just I still feel very like blessed and lucky that this is a thing I've done. But every night, multiple shows a night, constantly having to, I was saying to you, I had so much anxiety I didn't realize I had. The minute that all of a sudden stand up wasn't an option, I was thinking about how every day I would wake up and be like, fuck, I have to write a new joke or I have to I want to, just so much pressure on myself all the time.

You know, about two years ago, after Robin Williams killed himself, CNN did a thing about the dark side of comedy. And I wouldn't watch it. I'm like right away, and I'm going to start, here we go. You know, the dark side of fucking comedy, you know. During this pandemic, I thought about that documentary, and I thought about there is a dark side of the comedy. And we're living through it now.

but it made me realize that our little thing with the comedy store wasn't normal. It was like a mother's tit, my type of talent. Like, we went out during the week, and then we couldn't wait to rush back to the store. And I've been playing that game for 23 fucking years. And about three years ago, I stayed out of the store for seven years. Yeah.

I just stayed out of the fucking store. I didn't get thrown out. I didn't have nothing. I just said one day I'm not coming back down. and I didn't go down there for seven fucking years. So when I went back, it still was the store. It still had the vibe. But there was a different air to it now.

I would have fun, but I got to be honest with you. Every time I went down there, I couldn't wait to get the fuck out of there. Like there was just too many people. It wasn't my nook anymore. It wasn't my little club anymore. You know, they had to put a, they had to put a, fucking bar in the back for comics, you know, and that, and people still went back there. It was really annoyed.

There would always be someone coming into the fucking conversation. It was very, you couldn't have a conversation. You cannot have a conversation at the store anymore. You couldn't just talk to somebody. You didn't stay late enough. Yeah, you can. Oh, yeah, you had to go down there, but then you had to deal with the drugs and all that shit. That I wasn't, like people said, I didn't even know people were doing drugs at the store.

I just saw weed And one day somebody said to me on it It's wait till you leave The shit don't start here To about quarter of 12 You know that's when it pops off down here Quarter of the 12 I'm dreaming already

I'm already like fucking watching Netflix Passing the fuck out So but it wasn't You know what night became my favorite night Sunday Sundays were good Sunday you're zipping and out of it And cool vibe Zipping and out of it

I like them But Tuesday the money was great. It was a lot of fun, but it was starting to get old. It was like it got a little too big. It got a little too big on Tuesdays. And I appreciate it,

and I'm glad to be a part of it. I was a part of history up there, down there, but at the same time as a comic, it wasn't our hook anymore. It wasn't. We went there to work now. It wasn't any. Let me talk to you for a second.

We bullshit for an hour. It's right. You can't. have a conversation with Rogan. God forbid you have a conversation with Rogan. And you're by a fucking door. God forbid. No, you got to go. It's late night in the VIP room,

but you got to talk about him attacking bears. It always turned into Bear talk. When you went back to the store, you kept saying it was right after the CISO special, and he said, like, metal sharpens metal, and you wanted to be around, like, really good comics like that. How are you planning on

getting the best of both the world when you go back? Back where to Jersey? I have no idea. I have no idea. I'm not even worried about it. I've already worked with the best of the best. I'm just looking to...

I'm 57 years old, guys, okay? I'm not... Once you start getting older, you don't look that good on fucking stage. All right, it starts... You start looking a little bit fucking embarrassing. You know, I look at the fucking YouTube tapes. I'm old.

So now I'm going to go up there and sell... I got to sell... And my audience is young. I would feel better if my audience was my age. But people my age would don't want to listen to my stupidity. It's just 20-year-olds that want to listen to my dumb uncle Joey shit. So do you understand the beef I'm in? You should name yourself nephew Joey so then older people come.

I guess. I mean, I mean, I, from my point of view, if I was like one of the better con, I wouldn't care if I was old on stage. But then I watch, you know, you watch, what's a guy, the guy that, you know, run, Ron White. You watch my idol fucking Red Fox. You know, he was on Sanp and son. He was old.

And then after that, he went on the road. He was fucking even older. I'll go on the road till I could tolerate it. You know, till I can tolerate it. But like I said, guys, I don't see this coming back till next April. Okay. Next April, February, start up slow, two spots, try to work up to half hour. It's just a guess at this point.

We don't know what's going to happen. There's no reason to put energy into the future. It's enjoying what we're doing now. I hate when people go, I can't wait to see you on the road. You're retarded. So you're saying that. You're retarded. I love the people.

Why are you coming to Connecticut? What the fuck are you talking about? What the fuck is wrong with you? Coming to England anytime soon? Yeah, nobody's even fucking thinking like you try to humor people, but people are as dumb as fuck. Oh, and then they'll always ask, they'll go, they'll go, oh, when are you coming to Colorado. I'm like, I was just there before the fucking thing. You missed it.

There's people that just break your balls. There are people that just as soon as you leave the town, they'll wake up on Monday and go, when are you coming back from older? You're like, you stupid motherfucker. You could answer them that, but then you start figuring it out. Ah, they just fuckling with me.

Yeah, who knows? I don't even remember my jokes. I remember who they offended. I remember, like, lesbians didn't like one. Gay guys didn't like another. I want to start from scratch. You understand that I'm looking. I am looking forward to go into a pizza parlor.

That has an open mic. I don't know when I'll be ready. I'll call you and let you know. I'll be on my couch one night and I'll go, you know what? It's time to do stand-up again. That's all I know. That's all I know right now. That's all I know.

I know I'm going to take a break from podcasting. I don't know what I'm going to do. do yet. I really don't. People are already fucking... He's going to Gas Digital. It's like... It's like I'm fucking Tom Brady. Now, I feel like Tom Brady. He's going over here. He's going over there.

He's doing a podcast. I'm going to Jersey to hang out my family. Honest to God, I haven't talked to anybody about a podcast at all. In fact, I got to commend again, Lewis Gomez, who called me, and he goes, I heard you're moving to Jersey. and he goes, I'm going to be 20 minutes from you. And he goes, do you want to, how old is your daughter? Seven.

And I go, my son is seven. Do you want them to play together? I thought that was the sweetest call in the world. And he didn't mention anything. I mean, when I hung up the phone, I said, I love him even more. Because he didn't mention a podcast. Don't even ask me about a podcast now. There was one guy who asked me about a podcast,

and I knew he would ask me. I fucking knew it. As soon as he found out, he was going to fucking hit me up. And sure enough, he hit me two days ago. And I said to him, you are fucking predictable. I go, that's why I'm moving an hour from the city. So I don't have to do them. I'm taking a break.

I don't want to do nobody's podcast. I don't want to do nothing. I want to do whatever, fulfill this contract here, and just move my family. I got a 10-day quarantine period. We're staying in corporate housing. Tremendous. My buddy hooked it up.

The whole fucking deal. We sign on the first. We move in. She goes to school on the 8th. Check with me then. Yeah. And I'll let you know how I'm feeling. I'm supposed to shoot a movie.

The rest of the Sopranos towards the end of September. After that, I'll see how I fucking see. Well, you don't have to make any decisions. I think that that's the lesson that we're learning in this too. We had no control. I think we had this idea, this illusion of control. We have no.

No control. You have no control. All you have is controlling your own moment by moment. This is great. This is like living in a twilight zone. It's been a twilight zone life. Yeah. And some days are good and some days are bad.

Some days you wake up and have a lot of anxiety. And some days I have dick. Yeah. You know what this feels like? A really crazy mushroom trip or something. It feels like an ego death with hallucinogens. Because if you think about the way it's taken, because in the beginning I was so,

I was relieved. then I got really anxious. And then I'm having these moments of just appreciating life so much more than I would of any other time. I mean, definitely, like, worrying about death and mortality. You also don't know when it's going to end. Having no clue when it's going to end. We're not going to march, we're like, this is never going to end.

I'm always like, I got to drink more water. I'm sweating. It's been like a, it's a bad dream. It really is a bad dream. It's been a, we're a good one. You know, for some, listen, there's always going to be a silver lining to this. you're always at the end of this, you're going to go, I accomplished this during this.

I get it. For me, it was getting the fuck out of here. And I'm not, like, it's not because I hate California. I'm not one of those people that I'm going to tell you, California sucks, or, oh, the taxes, I'm not saying anything about that. The truth of the matter was, it was just time to go. You know, it was just time to go. Something opens up and you just take the opportunity.

You know, and I said it on this podcast in March. I said, I guarantee this is going to give people a lot of time to think. This is the first time people have thought since high school. Since that summer. I didn't think in high school. Since your summer before college, this is the first time people have had a chance to go, what the fuck just happened? Yeah.

I went to college. I went to college to be a fucking editor. And all of a sudden, I'm in L.A. on a podcast eating fucking edibles. I met a girl. You know, you meet a girl. You meet a guy. You fall of love, you have a kid. And one day you wake up, you're 36, you got a house.

You're a fucking programmer at a company. I'm 37. I have none of those things. I just want everyone to know. Well, you got 70 G's coming. So at least you got that. Maybe. Yeah, no.

But you didn't come to any realizations from this? No, I really have. Well, I think it's, I've really realized how much we rely on comfort and we think that comfort is this thing we're entitled to. When life is about adversity, overcoming. things, the struggle, getting through it, maintaining yourself. It's survival until you don't survive, and that's okay too. And I think that I really realize how everything is equally as beautiful as it is hideous. So in this situation where this is terrible, all these people are dying, I mean, it's a

horrible thing. We don't know what's going on. We don't know what the truth is about this. It's very anxious. Also, I'm seeing my nieces at home with their parents all day, like so bonded. loving each other, getting along, growing in a way that they never would in their relationship. And I mean, it's really, there's things that are amazing. Well, I made a decision early on. I made a decision like by March 27th. I love my wife, you know. I've been my wife for 20 years.

I love everything about my wife. Sometimes she bends my ear. She talks to me too much when I come. I'm in. Besides that, how we roll. You know, when you walk in,

I've bent a few ears. When I walk in, I got to pee. I got to put my shit down. Yeah. And I just need two minutes. I mean, 20 years,

she'll never give it to it. My wife will come in and go, are you hungry? And I'm like, give me five minutes. Isn't that so funny when you get annoyed with someone's trying to help you?

Yeah. Just give me five minutes. Breakfast in bed out of my fucking face. And my daughter will come in. Once my daughter comes in, I'm fucked. I can't, I can't tell how they give me five minutes.

She's fucking sad. She's not a count. Yeah. She don't like Jim. So, but even she doesn't jump on me. Yeah. That's the only complaint I have about my wife. That sometimes when I walk in, when we were together and I'd go on the road when we didn't

have the kid, after two days of being alone, three days. When I come in Sunday, I'd have to put the funnels in my ear because she's spewing, Jack. Yeah. When women don't see you for three days, they start spewing. And, you know, but beside that, I have no beef with my wife. wife. I think like by March 27th, I was having like a little nervous breakdown in the back office. And I said to myself, for this to work, I have to come together with my wife. I can't be in this room at night, typing on a computer and my wife, because I would watch the news with her,

and once Jeopardy comes on, I'd get up, or sometimes I'd go back in there. My daughter before, after the bath, she'll come out and we'll all watch TV for like 45 minutes, some stupid Disney world thing. But once she would go away, I would go into my office and get on the computer and tweet and read Yahoo and COVID,

and it's affecting this. And, you know, I was buying, and I turned off the computer one night, and I go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I had just done Rogan. I had just done Rogan that week. So it was the last week of March. And I figured out,

that for this to work, I had to come together with my wife, that I couldn't be kind of scared of my wife. I couldn't be away from her. So that decision made us a lot stronger as a family. That did happen. I could sit here and tell you that the most troublesome time was when my daughter wasn't in school. That was the hardest period we had keeping her entertained.

But amongst ourselves, we really, didn't have any struggles. There was no yelling. I was really surprised. We haven't really gotten into any arguments because I knew how much pressure this. When somebody tells you they love you, they're not going to break your balls. That's what I love you means, that I'm going to make your life as easy as possible for you as I can. That's what I love you means. I love you doesn't mean that I bring fucking drama into your life. I love you means that I'm not going to bring no drama into your life. That's what people have to realize. So, You tell somebody I love you.

Don't bring any fucking drama. I'm not dragging no cats into your house. I'm not dragging no cops into your world. I'm not, you know, none of that shit I used to do when I was 20. Well, I do now, you know. That's what I love you means, you know. That's why when I was a kid, I used to take offense like when a girl cheated on somebody or one of my friends cheated on a girl because you tell that person, you love them.

You know what I'm saying? Like, I love you. That means I'm not supposed to bring you any drama. Once you tell somebody I love you. you. Everything else is bullshit. Once you tell somebody I love you, that means you're not putting it any drama into that life at all. You're going to be the best

fucking friend you could be. And I had to realize that with my wife. If not, she would have been in Tennessee by now. I know that for a fact. It was like, we were going to drive back. We were excited. We're going to stop and see the Grand Canyon. And then

about one Saturday, my wife got a little she got busy in the daytime or something something happened and we didn't take mercy to the park something and it was like 2.30 maybe on a Saturday and that was one of the days I came out of the office and I looked at my daughter in the living room and her cheeks were fucking red

and I go Terry you see this and she goes what? And I go look at Mercy's cheeks and she came home and she's like oh are you sick And I go, Terry, are you fucking serious? Does she look fucking sick to you? She's bored. We got to get her out. No, she was sitting there.

And she just steamed. So after that day, I go, I started thinking about it. We were excited for the drive. We were going to stop in Utah. Yeah. We were going to stop. She told me the cities. We had it all planned that if we left Monday, we'd get there on Saturday.

But we had to stop five days. And we were going to stop Wednesday somewhere for like a long period of time. And I started thinking about my daughter sitting there for fucking from eight to two. Like she was in the bedroom watching TV and the Nintendo Stick and then she draws. But just that shit not running, that almost killed her. Like her cheeks were fucking on fire. So I go, so, well, you mean to tell me we're going to do this to this little girl for five fucking days where she's just going to get out at rest stops? I know.

It's just not enough. And stretch. Even if you took an hour each time. It's not going. With three cats going, meow, meow, meow. Cats don't travel well. That's not going to end. Disney radio?

Because my daughter doesn't listen to Disney radio. It's like the same song. It's like the same song over and over. The same three young teenage girls singing over and over. I sat in my wife and I go, listen, why don't we fly? Because by Indianapolis, I guarantee you'll either be dropping me off at a mental institution or will be filing for the boy.

That's just too much with a little girl That's why I didn't drive If it was me and her fuck you I'd be fine, I'd get a gun Yeah And fucking drive You know, not worry about anything Don't haul nothing

You're not gonna haul nothing They're gonna rob you on the road You know, they're gonna rob you on the road There's a bunch of mad maxes out there right now Looking for motherfuckers to come through their town That's what they're looking for Is you, a girl like you In California plates with a ton of shit in the back

They, and they'll follow you. It's just trash, though. Yeah, it's just, yeah, whatever the fuck it is. Come get my empty water bottles, bitch. No, but whatever the fuck it is, that's why I didn't want to drive. Yeah. I didn't want to. I think road trips, if it's the right vibe are amazing, but if there's one thing off,

if there's one thing off, which a kid is never the right thing. If you have kids, plural, then it ain't bad. I don't know. Because they talk to each other, they communicate with each other. But her by herself, with fucking earphones on all day, no. That's not gonna have.

Have you gone out to nature at all during this? Yeah, we went to the beach. It's so nice, right? We go to Ventura. There's not a soul on the beach. I have never experienced California like this. That's another one of the little jammed. That's what the other thing that people never realized.

I went camping up past Mammoth. It was the most fun. I did mushrooms on a hike with Curtis. You know, the guy works at the comedy story. He took us on, I mean, it was crazy. I had the most fun. I was in, I thought dinosaurs were going to walk by. It was so beautiful.

I couldn't believe where I was. Like, are humans allowed here? Gorgeous. And then, and camping, being in a tent, you can't understand why the homeless people are doing. I'm like, that's like not a bad life. Just being in a tent, it's warm out, pop out, get a coffee, come back. But we did that. We went, my girlfriend for her birthday, I guess it was sort of our joint birthday.

A couple weeks ago, we did. Everyone got COVID tests. And then we went to Big Bear. We rented a boat. It was nice Renting a boat Did you get a COVID test after you? I didn't

What the fuck did you get the COVID test for? Well it was over two weeks ago I didn't get it So But It was good It was nice We didn't go anywhere

Just in the house But it was nice Went on a boat In the open air You can't go in the water In Big Bear though There's like toxic algae Really?

Yeah you can't go swimming But it's just nice I got a tan. I never got a tan in my life. I've always been performing. Oh, no, I got a third-degree sunburn doing this motherfucker. You think I'm kidding you. I still got it. I still got it. I do think I may look back at this summer and go like, uh-oh. She had to pull the fucking skin off my back. Oh, yeah, I've been peeling. My wife was pulling the skin. You should have seen it. It was like, I threw some at Lee one night. I had a ball of dead skin. I threw at Lee one night. Imagine that's how you get COVID.

Oh, no, I'm trying to trust me. He's giving me a lot worse than COVID. Please, he's got his own problems. Don't worry about nothing. This poor bastard. He wants to go to... I'm going to stop in Denver and Glendale. Good. You keep thinking that.

Wait, they take your car and tie you up and shit out there. Are you going to drive? Yeah. That's not a good area? Huh? That's not a good area? I don't fucking know. I don't know.

Where in? Glendale, because he took me to Denver a couple years ago, and there's this place to get green chili, and I was like, I kind of want to stop for a job. day on the ride and I won't don't, who knows when I'll be in Denver again. So yeah, I was going to stop near there and get green chili or a couple of times. You should get green chili from Santa Fe. I lived in Santa Fe for seven years. The best green chili. I have to go north. What are you doing

Santa Fe? I went to the college of Santa Fe, which went out of business. I went for eight years on and off and finally graduated two years or two weeks before the college went out of business. And so I went to school there and then I was a bartender and a waitress, a go-go dancer, a nanny. I was there from, I moved to New York in late 2008 and I started college there in 2001, September 11th happened. So you were there when I was literally, I was with my boyfriend freshman year when September 11th century. So when did you live in Sanofi? From 2001 to 2008. We were there shooting the movie. Oh, I was there. I met everyone, the longest yard. Yeah. I didn't meet you. I was a go-go dancer at Swig. Remember that club?

Oh my God I was in I'm in Adam Sandler has a music video With Nick Swartson in it about It's called Secret it's about him Shaving his bush and his dick looking bigger I'm in that fucking video those are my boys are you I'm in the back Those are my balls in my balls in the video That's so funny Joey I'm in the background dancing in it

Yeah those are my I'm in it That's so funny I've seen her balls a lot My brother comes out I'm living at home at the time Or I'm visiting or something And my twin brother comes out, he goes, oh. I go what he goes, I watched that music video, and then I shape, and I cut my, my balls or whatever.

I was like, oh, God. Because of that, because of your balls. That's so funny, that's your balls. I was, so you must have shot that the first six weeks in Santa Fe. Maybe, I mean, I was there. Yeah, the first six weeks. I was saying, were you standing at Hotel Santa Fe? Fuck yeah.

I was there with Stone Cold Steve Austin hanging out all night. Yeah. My God, I walked past you. That's so, I wouldn't. I wouldn't hang out with those fucking savages. Oh, it was fun. And I was drinking. Those are my crazy days.

It was crazy down there. With Stone Cold, the other big guy. The wrestlers had their own click. Did you meet Tate then? Yeah, that's not my Tate. That's so funny, yeah, because I knew Tate for years. Really? And Tate's girlfriend.

Tate, Heather? Yeah. I bartended with her at the Cowgirl. Come on. Yeah, I worked at the Cal Girl for years. Sam Shepard used to come in. I used to have so much. You remember Sam Shepard, the playwright?

He didn't work on that movie before. Yes, yes. He used to come. I met so many crazy people. Val Kilmer all the time. Came in a couple times. What's his name? That was in Royal Tennebombs. He played the dad. Gene Hackman. Gene Hackman. Yeah. Now, what's the name lives in Santa Fe, correct? Pretty woman. Julia Roberts. She lives, I think, in Pecos or somewhere. She has a ranch somewhere, but I never saw her in town. I thought about Santa Fe this time. It would be fun to be quarantined there. I thought about that, too. I thought about moving to Santa Fe. It's expensive.

really I love there seven years Lee it's expensive it's an owl from Albuquerque which is hell yeah Albuquerque yo I did a I did a hell I love it I love it dude I went on a high air balloon ride in Albuquerque yeah they'll fuck yeah I was like Albuquerque is the is just as hideous from a bird's eye view than it is on the ground I went over the Cottonwood Mall the balloon took us over the fucking mall I was crying laughing it was the least beautiful balloon ride you ever

It didn't go over the mountains at all. The wind took us over the mall. It was so funny. I'm in the fucking... That's so funny, dude. You probably came. I was probably dancing one of the nights you were there. I was the one with no rhythm that...

Where? I didn't go to the strip. You never... No, it wasn't a strip. No, I wasn't a stripper. It was just they had three podiums. And then there was... My friend was the manager there once.

And I just one night, she was like, here, I'll give you 50 bucks if you dance on that thing. So I just went up drunk, was like, just dancing regular. and she gave me 50 bucks and they were like, come back, we'll give you 50 bucks an hour. So I used to just go dance and I was the worst dancer.

There was one guy who was, there was like a cute little gay boy and then there was Brandy who's a drag queen who's Calvin during the day, Brandy at night. So she would have like her duct tape and stuff and everyone would come up like,

do you have duct tape? I'm like, no, my girl. Because it's kind of a gay club or it was. It's not there anymore, but it was the only club in Santa Fe. So even, The one party that he, listen, I was there for six weeks.

I was there for six weeks. Where was the party? The party was Adam Sandler threw a party on a Saturday night. One night at one of those fancy places. At Swig, it was at Swig. One of those fancy places. I went early. I got my Coke and I left.

Tracy Morgan was there? You want me to tell you something? I only did Coke. The one night I went to Tate's. Tate's. Girlfriend. Oh, yeah. What's name of that?

The cowgirl, the cowgirl, barn girl. Oh, my God. I might have served it. I was there for probably four weeks sober, maybe three. I was not there for one day sober in seven years. And I finally broke down. I go, I'm not going to get high in Santa Fe. Yeah, it's not.

And I got high one time. I pulled it all nighter. It was fucking hilarious. The story that goes with it. Did you do Coke with the manager of the bar? No. A little black lady? No, I just asked somebody and they came back with a package

and then there was a girl Adam Sandler threw a party there. Every Friday or every couple Fridays every two weeks Adam would have a party. So the first Friday we all went to the cowgirl. Yeah. Tate was there, his girlfriend was there,

Tracy Morgan was there. Tracy Morgan was wild. It was me, Tracy, and Nick Detourl and Lobo at a table. and I remember that we walked out of the hotel Santa Fe and we saw Adam didn't stay at the hotel

at the hotel Santa Fe I think he had a house or something but he came to the hotel and I walked downstairs with Tracy and Tracy goes look at my man Adam and shit and Adam came out of the car

saw Tracy Morgan and it was like oh fuck I forgot this motherfucker was crazy and this is when Tracy Morgan was at his fucking... Well, he was also playing a gay cheerleader, prison cheerleader. This was on the way up of his crazies.

Because when we came back, he started hanging out at the store. And then he started going out with the comics. And he got thrown out of... He got thrown out of... What's on the bottom of Lyseniga? Oh. Yes. Yes.

No, no, no. It's like a bar. Oh, Barney's. Barney's beanery. They do karaoke. If you're got to get kids. No, that's the place we do karaoke. So he was getting thrown out of bars every fucking night when he was here.

He would go to the comedy store and come get me and I would go, oh my God. Yeah, he's crazy. He was crazy back. I remember him just drunk. He had his, because he was playing the cheerleader. Right. So he had his shirt up tied like that at the club and he was crawling like this on the ground over to everyone. You have no idea.

I was like what? And then I was meeting. It was such a funny because I, you know, I'd lived in Philly and then I'd never met. that's when I met everyone I realized because I became friends with Sandler's chef for a while Albert I don't know if you remember him

but I don't know if it's still his guy I haven't talked to him in years but I became friends with him and he was I remember him going like you should be with us you shouldn't be in this town I remember like remembering that I mean like I should move to L.A. and I met comedians and I was like now that I've met comedians

maybe I could be one that delusion but then I guess it worked out but I really I mean that was a pretty big deal. That was a huge deal. I still remember going to a steakhouse. Del Charo or... But like all of us going to a steakhouse

and fucking people were flipping out. Well, Santa Fe was the best because they did tax cuts so we would get all these celebrities. It was so fun. You know, I'd always be like walk over and just Josh Brolin or someone. I mean, Sam Shepard and I were tight. He used to come hang out at the bar.

Well, this actually, the story ends really sadly. but he so he would come to the bar and I would serve him all the time and he you know we talk and I got off early once we're sitting there and he was like you know I was like you know Sam I was drunk I was 23 I was like you know I thought I'd be something by now so funny 23 and he's like well what do you want to do comedy I've done improv before but I want to do stand-up and he's like oh that's really I would never want to do improv we're talking like that and he goes I just thought I would do something extraordinary with my life. And he goes, you are extraordinary. And I go, I am. And he goes, yeah, you're gay, right? Because my, my best friend was this lesbian to look like a boy. And I go,

no, I'm not gay. And he goes, oh, I thought you were gay. I was like, I'm not gay. So then every time I'd see him, I'd be like, Sam Shepard thinks I'm gay. I was like, I'm going to make shirts and say that. And then I told me I wanted to move to New York and do comedy. And I moved to New York and did comedy. And my first month there, so it was like a year later, I'm working at this restaurant next right off Tompkins Square Park. And I'm I'm putting all of the table settings on the outside tables. And Sam Shepard walks by with his family. And I go, oh my God.

I go, Sam. Oh my God. I go, it's me. I did it. I started doing open mics. I'm doing comedy. And he goes, did this used to be a jazz bar? And I was like, oh, okay.

Sam. I was like, but I think he remembered me. But it's like, you don't know where, you know, there was a lot of drinking back then. but it was so funny It was so cool to see him And I used to wait on Sam Rockwell And at Burr's Christmas party

Sam Rockwell was there And I was like, I used to wait on you And he's like, you did And it was just like such a good moment It was just cool All these people I told I was gonna do something I did it Good for you man

I didn't know you were down there with us Is that crazy? And we're in the same Let me tell you something I had done the Santa Fe run and then we came back and we were now at Paramount

and we were at we were at Paramount and we were at Redondo Beach we shot the football scenes in Redondo Beach the training camp was in Santa Fe, New Mexico yeah and that place that... The movie's been on every night this week

oh really? Oh it's on every fucking night now every night you guys were the the football field you used was that at a high school or did you go down to in the prison? Oh the prison that's right We were at the prison. Yeah, yeah, they actually were at the prison. So it was just, you know, when I see that movie on TV that it's playing, I always look, watch it for a minute. It doesn't even have to be my scene.

It could be any scene. And I just smile and it's changing. Yeah, that was so bad. Because you cannot imagine what it meant to me at that time. You know, like I was at the comedy store, no agents would sign me. Nobody would talk to me. I had like a shitty agent, no manager. And I popped that fucking movie.

Yeah. And now, like, I'm like, watch my fucking heat now, bitch. And when that movie came, and I was in the fucking trailer. Joey, this is so exciting. I haven't seen the movie in so long. I didn't even realize. I was in the fucking trailer a couple times. Dude, I was in the fucking movie video video.

It was Edwin San Juan. I was in Houston, Texas doing Christmas. And Edwin San Juan called me. And he goes, bro, I just went to see such and such. but they played the trailer for the fucking longest yard and you're in it. That's so exciting. Are you serious?

You have a line? Oh, fuck yeah. Cool. Fuck yeah. And the trailer, I got to worry. That's so awesome. Because he asks us, the meme machine is some shit. Yeah, yeah.

Something about Diet Coke. That's so cool. That was the trailer and something else. And I was like, no way. But even like, you know what we did the premiere at? Kimmel's. Hmm. And they turned it into a football.

Stadium. You know what Hollywood High is? Right across the street. They turned it, they put artificial turf. Oh, damn. That's so fun. Cheerleaders. Oh, that's so fun. You should have seen the fucking premiere. Yeah. You know, and I like, when we

were on the set, he had strippers from Marlbuquerque and he was paying them. They were umbrella girls. Oh, one of the girls, one of those girls was they brought her go-go dancing. I fucked up my go-go dancing game. Because she was such a hoe. I was like, no, you can't touch me or the guys would come just watch her I'm like no she had fake tits and she'll put the pasties on her

her name was Lisa I liked her she was cool but she was a stripper and she would come and it was just me and a drag queen and like a gay dude before and was just like I would get drunk fall off the podium and stuff like I would so wasted I'm not a good dancer either what a party town that was it's well there's nothing else to do I had to leave I would have died I had to quit drinking now what was the strip club the disgusting oh cheeks I went there didn't need a net to catch crabs so where did I go I went to dinner with Adam. I went to the country, the bar you worked at twice. In six weeks, let me tell you how many nights I went out.

I went to the cowgirl twice. I went to that party at him through on a Saturday night. That's weird, yeah. At the club. And I went to the strip club one time. Cheeks was not good. Which was a nightmare. Fridays and Saturdays I wouldn't come home.

I'd get in the car and just drive on. I wouldn't go to Albuquerque. I go into the mountains to house and all that shit. Oh, it's so beautiful. Because I had my own car. But to get back to your video, then we'll wrap it up. The movie had already, we had shot the football scenes already. Now we were shooting like when Lobo gets called in.

Like we were shooting just a bunch of interior stuff. I think a couple people were even done already. I think like Adam was still working, but like maybe rock up. What's his name? Chris was done. And the star of the movie, the original. Oh, Bert Reynolds. And it was just a couple of us.

We were going in, but we were an F series. So that means you had to work every day. So there were days I was going in, and I wouldn't do deck. Like I knew I wasn't going to do deck, but they'd make me going anyway to break my book. You didn't have smartphones yet. Huh? You didn't have a smartphone yet. Yeah, we did.

We had something because I had a phone. Flip phones. Yeah, we had something. So you didn't have the internet. No, but I used to just bring like books and there was DVD players. They were reading. Yeah, there were all that show. I'm trying to teach myself to read over quarantine.

You have to read. I was trying to read. Dude, Rogan, okay, I was in the VIP room before all this happened and he was talking about this guy he was supposed to work with on something years ago. And he goes, the guy pulled out his computer and he started like typing like this. And he goes, you're never going to be a writer like that. And he's saying that to me and I'm going, oh, fuck, I skipped. typing class because it gave me headaches

the computer. So I'm like, this is how I type. So I was like, oh shit. So over the break, I've been taking like Mavis Beacon. I'm pretty much Billy Madisoning myself. You learn how to type? I'm learning from like kindergarten up. I'm educating. I did type in class in high school. No, I'm trying to learn it because

that was the class I got out of. I can't do it like the way I used to but I'm still pretty fast. I'm trying to do it but it's so hard because it's, I mean, why is the fucking O there? I used to use a typewriter, so I'm old school. Yeah. I go with the fucking typewriter.

So we had finished fucking shooting. Just a couple of us. And I went in there one day, and when Adam's assistance comes up to me, and he'd dry, I hear a knock on the door, and they're like, hey, Adam wants to talk to you. I'm like, fuck. I wonder what the fuck I did,

because I was always late, man. Towards the end. I can't believe if they gave you a car. That seems like a bad shit. Towards the end, that was just a fuck up. We did 17 fucking weeks, guys. after 10 weeks the fucking party was over. Like everybody was getting sick after 10 weeks.

Like it was pads every day, an hour of fucking tattoos. And it was rough guys. This was not, you know, every fucking day. I'm not complaining. I'm not complaining. But it just got old really fast to drive. And like it didn't rush. You know, Santa Fe was our, see, when we were in Santa Fe, Paramount wasn't there.

Yeah. So there's a party. There was nobody there to watch it. Once we came back, Paramount was there. Yeah. So now it was a little bit of a different side. So now everybody was cool. Now we're on the lot.

Now you really can't do dick. So it was just a couple of us on the lot. So one day I got a knock on the door, and the kid goes, I don't want to see you. And I thought, you know, I go, right now, yeah. You know, you got to drive. I'm going to drive you. I go, okay.

So I get in the fucking scooter or whatever the fuck to go. I love those golf cards. And I go, he takes me to Adams. And I walk in there playing basketball on his office. He's got like a basketball court and shit. I'm like, what the fuck is going on there? And Adam, he goes, I forget what he used to call me. He used to call me fucking something.

Tony, Tony, he said, Tony. He goes, Tony, let me answer something. Because one day I was sitting with my shorts on and my ball popped out. And I didn't know. And he walked over to me, and he was like, listen, I got to talk to you about something. That little fucking, what do you call those bags? Speedbag? He goes, your speed bag is out.

He goes, he's popping out. That's the biggest nut I've ever seen in my life. You're like, I'm going to put that in a music video one day. Is that two or one? I go, what are you talking about? He goes, your little speed bag, that's what used to call it, my speed bag is that? So I put my nut back in my short. And I guess it just stayed with him.

him. And one day, he calls me, I go into his office. He goes, Big Tony, can I talk to you? I go, yeah, what's up, Adam? He goes, listen, Nick Swanson is doing a video, and he wants to know if he could just do a shot of your balls. But I still remember his face and how he asked me. Like, he was dead serious. He's like, if you don't want to do it, I understand, but he just wants to do a video of your balls. I go, whatever, so be it, let's do it. He goes, all right, I'm excited, yes. So he calls over, whatever. And also another cart comes. and gets me at him, and I go over and I meet Nick Swanson. And they actually have a camera set up with lights

and a little thing where I'm going to put my balls and hold my dick. So I had to hold my dick and just let my balls hang. And what's the name of the video? The secret video. Okay, the secret video. So for people who are not watching it. And I'm in a- I can watch it. Don't blink, you'll miss me.

Really? Is that fast? Oh, I'm in it so fast. But I have like a camouflage mini skirt on and a black shirt. I'm blonde. I got hair like mine now. It's so funny. But it was a pleasure seeing you.

I can't believe. I'm happy that you fucking came on the show. The fate that's brought us together. Can you believe that? That is crazy. That is crazy. I did not know. That is beautiful.

I love you. I miss you. You had a boyfriend now and that at the time? At that time, I don't think so. How was a girl as pretty as you single? How all these fucking girls single? Um,

I don't know. Do you want a boyfriend? I mean, I mean, I feel now. I would, I think I might want, I think I might want to have, I just can't, I don't know if I want to have kids or not. I'm not at a, a place yet where I would want to have kids. I do feel a little old for an abort, I don't want, you don't want to go to the abortion

clinic with your, with crow's feet. It's fucking humiliating. So I, you know, I, but, you know, if something happened, I probably wouldn't, I'm at the age where I wouldn't get rid of it. Were you, are you, are you? I mean, I don't even know I'm trying to ask you. Are you not sad? Do you wish you had somebody during the pandemic?

I'm not going to comment, but I'm not, I'm doing all right. Okay. I have, you know, I have, I have an unpaid intern. No, no, I'm, I'm doing good. I'm not alone. Okay, good, good. I thought you had something on the side. I'm not alone.

Girl as good looking as you always has something on the side. What's the matter with you, Joey? Get your life together. Yeah, I'm happy. I'm having a really nice. You look great, man. Thank you, so do you. I'm going to miss you.

I know, I'll miss you too. Thank you very much for coming on. My family's in Philly. I'll see you when I go back. Thank you for helping me out that night. Of course always. I slipped that night. I never forgot that.

I will. I'll never forget being the backseat of my car in crucial pain and going, and in the middle of all this, fucking Annie Letterman asked me if I wanted a blow job. And I looked at you and you went, Hey, you, come here. Give me a book. And I fucking, I told my wife, when I got home that night,

and she took my pants off, and they saw the blood on my leg, like it was just purple. And I go on, do you want me to tell you what the worst thing is, Terry, in the whole middle of this? And he led him and asked me if I wanted a blow job. Let me get one of the guys to give it to you. And we started fucking howling. And like, I always tell people, like, I'm the type of guy that, I don't want to say this. I don't love it.

But I love it when somebody, I love helping people. Like when somebody passes in your life, I'm the guy that calls you. Since my mom died, I know how it feels. But I love calling you and taking your mind off. I'll ask you like a creepy question. Like, did you leave you anything in the will? Yeah. You know, like you go, Joey, what kind of question?

Oh, it's fucking joy. And then you'll go, thank God you did that. Like a week later, you go, you don't know what it meant to me. You made me laugh. because you take yourself away. You really do it, you know. So that night I was in so much fucking pain and I didn't know what had happened.

I thought my leg was broken. I thought my fema was broken. I thought there was so many things that were broken. And in the middle of all that, you came over and made me laugh my ass off. And for that, I'll never fucking forget you. Well, listen. So you ever need anything?

You're in a bind. You fucking put a smile on my face. Got any tragedies? I'll come make fun of you. Oh, my God. tremendous. You saved the fucking night. Thank you for coming out. Anytime, honey.

Don't forget. Annie Letterman is also on Patreon. Yeah, head up my Patreon. It's just Patreon slash Annie Letterman and then hit me up on Instagram and I have a podcast on my YouTube channel called Me Inspiration, but my YouTube channel is just also slash Annie Letterman. Okay, you're beautiful, man. Keep doing what you're doing.

I love you. Don't give up. And when you come back to Philly, give me a call. I will. You're an hour motherfucking away. This girls, but you're moving in Jersey. Rogen's going to Texas, Whitney's got pink hair.

Everything's going nuts. Everybody's going nuts. Thank you very much for coming out. I love you. I love you. Thanks, Lee. Thank you. Listen, you've all been in lockdown for months. Like I said in the beginning,

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