The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #814 - David Schuler of "The Bad Dreamers"

Episode Date: August 19, 2020

David Schuler, a grammy nominated singer, songwriter and composer, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio. David also created the new theme music for The Church of What's Happening Now and can be heard with his group, "The Bad Dreamers." This podcast is brought to you by:       Manscaped - Get 20% off your first order at www.manscaped.com/church20   CBD Lion - For all of your CBD needs, from shatter to gummies, go to  and use code CHURCH for 20% off.  www.CBDLion.com                                                                                          

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It all's like fucking today. No more fucking excuse. This is the year of the fucking soldier. We're going in like fucking Marines. You understand me? Welcome to church, motherfucker. Oh shit. It's Wednesday with Donna bare bones in this fucking studio.

Look at this. It's like a fucking detention center in here. I wouldn't want any other way, honestly. You come into a room like this. Usually you see, Mexican kids wrapped up an aluminum foil. shit, you know what I'm saying? But it's just us today. It's Wednesday.

And in studio is my man, David Shuler, if you love, listen, let me tell you the fucking story, all right? Just so you fucking knuckleheads, knock it the fuck off, right? Because it's getting, it's just, it never ends. It never ends. And I think COVID is making people dumber. I think that's because I'm getting dumb as far as too. I'm forgetting shit.

Yeah. Forget lunches. You know. It's viral. You take a shower. You don't shave. You take a shower. And I went into the shave.

I came out. I looked like fucking Gunga. I go, what the fuck did I take a shower for? It was the shave. And I forgot the fucking shave. David Schuler is a composer, songwriter, two-time Grammy nominated,

pink, you know, fucking John Legend, the whole fucking deal. So I like music, guys. You know, I don't know about you motherfuckers. You know, Lee. I was raised on disco. I don't give a fuck.

I know. I like music. All right. I like all types of music. Donna Summer, Pavarotti. It's art. It's art.

It's art. I appreciate it. You know, the only thing I don't like is that rigatone music. That shit will drive everything fucking crazy. That shit drives me fucking bananas. But besides that, you got my attention everywhere else. When I came, you know, when we start this podcast, I wanted to show you guys where I came from. I wanted to show you the Iron Maidens with the original singer, Paul Deanna.

I wanted to show you Judas Priest. Even though, but the singer is gay. He's a bad motherfucker. Who gives the fuck if he sucks dick? sucks ass. He's still singing. And he sings great. So whatever he's sucking, you better get to it. Because you can't sing. You know what I'm saying?

At least the gay guy can say, you know, I just grew up, listen to Spanish music, you know, soul music, fucking gospel music. I always gave everything a chance. So when we came on the podcast, Mondays was always Tony Bennett, I respect with the spirits. And then we'd turn on different songs and blah, blah, blah,

about. But YouTube would flag us. For sure. YouTube, a ball, Justin motherfuckers. Yep. YouTube, you know, every two weeks. I get a fucking red... I go on my Google emails, and I get 20 fucking copyright infringing.

Yeah, fucking YouTube, and people don't get it. You want to play music. If it was up to me, I play fucking just music and talk about it, and so dope. You know, I do these videos at night. They're done because I play music on it. Like, just anything, let's up and claim that already.

Boom. Gone. That's it. Even on Patreon? Yeah. on Patreon on YouTube. They yank your videos if you play music. Instagram's starting to do it. Yeah, people just don't get it. Russell Peters was here. And he said

one night he was doing Instagram live, he was DJing. With the 20 minutes, they shut him down. They'll just yank that whole section out. People stop what the fucking music. You get these emails. What's your favorite sparking song? How old are we? 13? I sparked anything. What is wrong with you? Who raised you?

Who asked these types of questions? You're doing press play. Yeah. What are you listening to when you get high? When I'm pissing in the morning, a fucking song pops into my motherfucking head. And whatever that song is, as I'm making coffee, I'm getting fired up, you know. And it could be anything.

It's just something I'm thinking about. And it could be somebody, like, it could be a shitty band. Somebody I'm not even into, you know. Today I listen to Heaven Tonight. I don't like fucking Cheap Trick. Wow. Correct me. Heaven tonight.

Nobody remembers. heaven tonight. Everybody knows Cheap Trick Live from Buda Khan. I just wanted to hear Heaven tonight. I couldn't put it out because people don't like that type of music. They're going to go, you know, what is this, Joey? Nobody's heard that side of cheap trick.

Sure. You know, so you can't. That's what I felt like listening to. That's when I woke up, boom, boom. I had to be, the movies were coming over at fucking nine. So I got up and was ready for movies. And the thing was supposed to get there yesterday and it never showed. So my wife was driving me crazy off

a dog at night. Are they going to show? Are they going to show? She kept going outside. Pull your car in the driveway. Take it out of the driveway. I almost fucking stabbed. I had to get the gun and go out there ten times

in and out with the fucking gun. Because there's creepy people. Listen, there was a guy last night. At 12.30, I saw him. I saw him. I went outside to pull the car out. Some guy with like a thong on

on a skateboard. Huh? dog it's time to go dog if I would have had a net I would have chased him and fuck and put him in the net like if I would have had a hole I'm telling you I'm up to a different

this COVID doesn't even make me fuck with flies no more I'm ready to torture a human like put him in a hole like that dude the chubby chicks and silence of the lambs put the green on it like that dude just wants to be in a hole like that dude skateboarding are you a son

it wasn't a thong what was it what do you call those bikini shorts? Speed out? Speed out. Yeah, speed up. 12.30 at night. It sounds like it's Burke. Do I need that?

No. I need that. If I was me 20 years ago, I would have run that guy over. But now you've got cameras, you got satellites, you got dense. They look at the body shop.

I'll run them over, take it to an Armenian body shop. They'll never find that fucking car again. You're a, you look a vigilante superhero. I can't take it no more. How can you have a fucking speedo on? What if you fall?

You're going to straighten your knees. I ride a bike. I get jeans on. Like I sold you. You think I want to ride a bike with jeans? No, but I'm not scraping my knees. Like some fucking hooker who got caught giving a blowjob. Behind an alley in the Chinese chef.

Kinks her in the stomach. I just got bloody knees. Anyway, so my point is we need a new music. One of my agents contacted me, and he said that one of his good friends from Rochester is a bad motherfucker. And he put our song together for us, and now the song that you,

you hear when the church comes on was put together by my man, Mr. David Shuler. That's it. That's it. He read into my heart. He put everything I, he is a smart man. See, he listened to everything I put on. He goes, I'm going to find something in between that. We got the chick, we got the machine gun.

We got everything. Yeah, for sure. He covered it. We got motherfucker. You know, these are things that come from my heart. You understand me? They live in my heart. Motherfucker, those type of words.

And then you blow my mind because you do something that I always have wondered. Like just now, I was driving over here. And it was one of Prince's early hits. I want to be a lover. That's probably my favorite prince. And he wrote that because he was in love with Patrice Russian. Oh, wow. Like that was his way of giving it to Patrice Russian, whatever you know.

Send me, forget me, nice. Yeah, yeah. How do fuck do I sit down? you know what I'm in love with the white chick at the weed store you know she's a cute little girl right like if I was to be a fucking young stud like if I was 24

I would ask that girl out but how would I write a song sure how would I write a fucking song for a girl I wanted to fly I don't even know where to start I have a hard time writing jokes that's why music

has always been very interesting to me I love the music and reading about how it came to be how somebody woke up to Stephen Tyler playing the piano to Dream on or something like that and he said, keep playing that. You know, how does it work?

Give me the system from A to Z. I mean, man, I feel like I can imagine it's probably similar to writing jokes in the sense that, you know, every joke kind of happens in a different way. I bet, you know, it comes from some place. I mean, the medium is different because you know you have to you're speaking through not only with lyrics of course with your words but

you're trying to make instruments say what you're trying to say with your vocabulary right so you know just knowing it in the context of this show i've been listening for years i know the shit that you would play at the top of the show you know the tony better thing was obviously like it was a tradition but i grew up you know like when i first started playing guitar when i was 12 or 13 years old um you know, I was listening to kill them all and, and justice for all. That was the shit that I loved. I was convinced when I was a teenager that when I mastered every Metallica song, that I would be happy.

So I did. I mean, I, like, it was like, guitar playing for me came first. And then I hit that level where I was like, I feel like I can do everything I wanted to do with guitar, but now I want to go somewhere else with it. So then I started like really studying. other genres of music, you know, just the tradition behind country songs and the songwriting craft. And I'd be going, you know, I was in bands and shit. We were all, you know, my friends and I, we'd be making just the fucking worst music you've

ever heard in your life. And we'd go into the studio and we'd pay studios for demos and we'd always come out. Now, we were in Rochester, so the studios were few and far between. But we'd be paying for studio time and we'd never be happy with what we left with. So that sort of led to me wanting to learn how to produce, how to engineer, how to get in a studio and not only take the song that I've written and was ready to record, but learn how to record it, how to mix it, how to make it sound like a fucking, like I want it to sound. And, you know, it's just kind of one thing just sort of led to the next. And I feel like when you're writing music, you have to ask yourself, you know, if I'm sitting there. they're on a piano or with a guitar and, you know, I've got a couple chords and I know what I want to write about, you just kind of find your way through it. And, you know, it's like,

like with anything, if you practice an instrument long enough and you stick with it, then there's some sort of purpose for that instrument being in your hands and that you've gone as far as stressing over it and sounding like shit. And then finally, you can play something that sounds right and you're like oh i could find a way to take this and make it my own so you know with with the music for the for the church i knew that we you know we were listening to similar stuff in that era obviously i'm younger than you but but that was the shit that i loved like the old like like i mean the motley crew records and i mean cowboys doctor feel good yesterday yeah i mean dude i was just watching the interview with bob rock yeah dude yeah i was just

I just couldn't believe. Yeah. And then you see, like, I always describe guns and roads as his Aerosmith on steroids. Oh, wow. If Aero Smith would have done D-Ball in the 80s, it would have been. Right. Instead of eight balls. Yeah.

If it was done D-ball, Diana Ball, they would have been fucking guns. And I'm not taking none of the way from Arrow Smith. Ever since one of my favorite bands of the whole time. I'm just now, I want to ask you questions that I don't know about that I want people. I'm going in here blind. Yeah. Yeah. What is a music producer?

What does he do exactly in the studio? I think it, I mean, it can mean a few different things, but in a traditional sense, like I just said, I was watching an interview with Bob Rock, and he was talking about Motley Crew, and he was talking about, look at him passing. You know how many times I've seen that on camera just watch that pass right there?

That was a slyest motherfucking move I've ever seen. I saw it. I was like, there's no way he brought those for no reason. God damn it. If you don't know, I bring everything for a reason, brother. You want one of these? No, thank you. These are my seat right now.

I'm sorry. I appreciate it. This will take you to the next level. So I'm not here to fuck with fucking Uncle Bob, but you know me. But yeah, so like, so Bob Rock went from producing Motley Crew, you know, Dr. Fieldgood. He went from Dr. Fieldgood to the black album, almost. I mean, not chronologically, but he produced Dr. Fieldgood. and when he got into the studio with Metallica,

they were like, why does it sound like that? And he was like, your guitars are tuned to E. And now, you know, the lowest string is E, standard tuning. And he was like, Motley Crew tunes to D, which is lower. So when they tuned down to D and they played sad but true, it blew their fucking minds. That's a great example of like what a good producer is going to do because suddenly you're playing a song in a higher key.

It's not going to feel as heavy. and with all that weight. So the producer does not write the music. I come in and tell you how to enhance it. In a traditional sense, a record producer's job is essentially to push an artist to write the best music they can write and make the best record they can make. But also, I feel like it's to push them out of their comfort zone so that they have a creative breakthrough. You know, if they're thinking about things they may not have thought about before or if they're exploring maybe a new style. of playing with an instrument or a slightly new genre to bring in to their sort of brand of music,

a traditional record producer is going to push an artist to listen to more stuff, experiment more, so that they can, you know, grow and kind of evolve as an artist. What's the guy with the beard that did Jay-Z? Rick Rubin. Rick Rubin. Yeah. Rick Rubin, he'll come in and do that. Yeah.

I'll enhance what you got. Yeah, I mean, his approach, I don't know him, but I know artists that have worked with him. I think his approach is more he's kind of like the Buddha of record producers because he doesn't really leave his studio like if you want to make a record with Rick Rubin from what I understand you go to him

and you play him the songs and he says you know whether you've got great songs or not and he just kind of like he sort of mentors you through that process I don't know that he ever even steps foot in the studio anymore and it's funny because like

you hear like I mean he produced a slipnot record and they had an experience where they kind of like, they weren't really into the way that he would work, but then ultimately when they got through that record, because they're used to guys like Ross Robinson who, when they made Iowa, he was like, all right, you're a heavy band, you're from Iowa, we're going back to Iowa, you're going to record this album

in the fucking basement with no air conditioner, and you're going to get down into this thing, and it was like one of their most iconic records. But with Rick Rubin, you know, he's got his place in Malibu, and he doesn't really leave that. And, you know, I don't know if he was there, when they were working with him, but they were working with Rick Rubin,

and he wasn't really coming into the studio, but that album won them a Grammy. So he has a process that works somehow magically. Mutt-Lyne. Mutt-Lang. Yeah, Def Lepa. What did he do? Like, what, where is he?

I mean... He did, like, the one Def-Lapid Al. Did he do the first DeF-Lap-A-Lad? He did hysteria. Hysteria. I know, I'm not sure, I'm not totally learned on his discography. back in black

hysteria I think he did something else I think early death leopard I think so he's the type of guy that would come in he's in the studio I mean all those big background vocals on deaf leopard that's Mutt Lange that's his voice

their sound on that album is Mutt Lang it's crazy and what's so cool is like I remember five years ago Lady Gaga put a record out called You and I and she was

like, I want that deaf leopard sound. So she went to Mutt Lang. And it's got that hysteria, slow fucking swing to it. And his background vocals are all over hurt on that song. And it's like, if you close your eyes, it's like a time capsule. So in a way, it's like the record producer

is kind of like the conjurer of all the elements that the artist can imagine, but may not be able to realize on their own. How does a producer get paid? a bunch of ways. I mean, you can have, you know, you can have an upfront fee to go into the studio.

You can have an hourly fee. You can, you know, a lot of producers, like David Foster, to me, is like he's the greatest record producer of all time. What did you produce? I mean, dude, the fucking biggest songs. Like, Celine Dion, my heart will go on.

All the songs for Whitney Houston on that fucking soundtrack for the bodyguard. all of Pizza Terra's solo shit when he left Chicago. That was good shit. I mean, dude, this guy's, his history, he discovered Celine. He didn't discover Celine. Somebody else did, and he went to Canada, and they sort of passed the torch, if that's what you call it.

But, yeah, and, you know, Michael Boubley, that's Dave Foster. He saw him in a wedding, and the rest is history. So, you know, like a lot of times when you discover a new artist and you see something in them that maybe no. nobody else does, you can develop that artist and you're not going to make any money at first. But if you make a record with them and then you build this thing, it's kind of like producing a movie independently. You know, you have to invest early on and then take the film elsewhere to distributors and so on and so forth. So it's a risk, you know, it's a time investment.

It's a creative investment. But, you know, like if there's a number of ways to get paid, royalties and, you know, I mean, there's all kind of revenue streams for producers. But, I mean, it's certainly changing now that physical music isn't really much of a thing anymore. Vinyl is having a new. Resurgence. New, yeah, so serious resurgence. I got two eight tracks sent to me this week. Yeah.

And I gave him to Dean a church listener. So I lent Dean the A track. I go, Dean, let's see if it was, because Dean wanted to do a podcast around it. so I go Dean if you want to do a podcast just come pick it up and give it back to me before I go back to Jersey so in one day two different people thank you

whoever sent them sent me to A tracks and I brought him to Dean and he called me land and he goes they sound great you know and is there really that's right last year was the first time vinyl beat something else out

since 1980s probably CDs and yes since 1987. Yeah, it's wild. Yeah, so albums are backup on the rock. Vinyl is having a moment right now. It's crazy. It's been boiling for the last probably 10 years, but right now, I mean, I don't know

what the COVID thing has done to it, but yeah, the vinyl. Because I think, like, there's just something, like, so in Rochester, we had the house of guitars. That was the shit. That's where I bought my first guitar. It's where I bought my first album. It's a music store. It has that.

I had passed on. music. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Had pastore music. You had fucking three floors. We go to Monday night, midnight madness because all the albums dropped on Tuesdays. So Monday night at midnight, we get in line. And, you know, for me, it was more CDs. I, you know, I was born in 82, so by the time I was copying my own records,

it was on disc. So, but there's something so transcendent about going into the aisle, finding the thing, getting into the car, unwrapping it, feeling it in your hand, putting it in and, like, sharing that sort of physical... Because you're creating all these, like, sensory memories with, you know, like the visuals and everything, and you see these... You know, I'd look at these pictures of Metallica, and I'd be like,

these guys, like, are there? They're not even real. And then I'd go see them at the HSBC arena on stage, and that's the only place you could see them then. Now you go on the Instagram and they're right there, and you send them a message. All the magic is almost gone. But I feel like the magic of grabbing...

a piece of you know like that vinyl and pulling the art out and looking at it and kind of reliving like your parents' experiences or you know like other generations that that whole process there's something so magical about it and it creates

I feel like a deeper connection with whatever you're listening to even if it's shit you're like well I just wasted $20 and you know whatever but there's just something more about instead of clicking on Spotify through a playlist going and getting it and holding it and holding it in your hand and seeing and feeling it, you know?

Do you still buy the physical? I still buy physical movies. I haven't switched over to digital yet. I do buy physical movies. I don't buy physical music. Okay. Just because, like, when you're making, I mean, when vinyl was, like, really the most dominant format, analog recordings happening in studios with analog, I mean, this is getting

really fucking techy, but a lot of, a lot of artists are putting their records out on vinyl. and they were recorded digitally. So it's kind of like, I don't know. It's like if you want to watch a film and it wasn't shot on film and you want to watch it in a theater, they might have printed that digital production down to a 35 millimeter reel, but you're not really watching film. You're watching something that was printed to film. But if you were on set on the day and they're shooting on that Panavision and that 35 and they're checking the fucking gate,

and then that reel, you know, light can't even put light on that film. it's got to stay in a dark room the whole time until it gets to the theater and then you know like then you're watching film but I feel like the vinyl thing there's there's a little bit of a novelty aspect to it with regard to like you know

buying an album that was recorded digitally on vinyl it's kind of it's kind of counterintuitive in a way but I might even see these like if I'm having a bad day I go to Best Buy it's like kind of a kind of walk through the movie aisle Sure.

It just calms me down. Yeah. And I still see that they still have CDs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I don't know anyone who goes to buy. Someone must still be buying them. I don't know who it is. Yeah, people buy them.

I mean, what's the percentage? Like 80% digital, 90% digital? Quite honestly, I wouldn't even know. It's got to be. I mean, the streamers are obviously taking over. That's, it is where it is. I don't buy movies. Uh-huh.

For the simple reason is they don't give me what I want in that package. Sure. Okay, you're 38, leaves 32. on 57. The people who listen to the show, obviously a little younger than both of you guys, the age group. Yep.

I don't buy, like, okay, I'll tell you right out. When I got the longest yard, they sent me a box of CDs, DVDs. I opened it up and there was a DVD and there was one sheet of paper. Yeah, that's it. That was your presentation.

They didn't bring the paper anymore. That was your, there was no inside scoop. There's a running joke in my neighborhood. In fact, two of the guys listen to this podcast and we still have arguments on the phone about women and children first. Van Halen's women and children first. Masterpiece album.

Until you take the poster out. It's David Lee Roth tied up by himself. I ripped the poster up. I ripped the album up and I threw it out the window. Until this day, I don't want to point. And years later, you hear riffs that they were even van hailing didn't know that David Lee Roth

was going to put the poster in there so they even had a riff about it I'm just telling you that story just sure for to telling you that I came if I buy your 25th anniversary edition of easy money

I'm just throwing titles out here sure yeah I want something extra in there don't hit me with the re what is it the remaster Yeah. Take that remastered and shove it up your mother's ass. Remastered means it's going to cost me ten bucks and you didn't do dick. Really? How many? Did that mean? Yeah. Remaster what? What are they going to remaster?

It's so. Take the crickets out of the room? You buy that shit. Oh, it's remastered. How many times are they going to remaster something? How stupid can you be, America? You buy the first one, that's it. The second one is that they put a violin, remastered. Yeah.

And they take you for another 25. They dollarated debt. Well, you buy. So when I buy a remaster, you've got to show me something. Yeah, yeah. If I buy the 50th anniversary of Apocalypse Now, I want a poster. I want two hours in making of them shooting, of Marlon Brand those notes on the set.

You know, and for me, that's what happened. You know, I keep saying to myself, I don't know what happened to me with music. Why I lost interest in music. I lost interest because they stopped giving me what I was. was used to. Sure. You know, again,

I'm 57. I fucking cut, you know, I bleed like everybody else. When I cut, I'm furious that America cannot go to a basketball game. The average American family

can't afford to go to a fucking nick game. Or they got to sit upstairs and risk getting stabbed up the fucking third floor, you know, by fucking whoever. My point is that, you know,

Everything is gone, you know, an album is $26, but they give me less and less. So I don't want to sound like that. Oh, in my day, you got an album and you got $0.5.00. No, I don't want to sound like that guy, but I lost interest when you lost, when you stopped giving me, when you stopped giving me what I wanted and then charged me double for the product. Yeah. So when you were charging me $6.95 and I bought an album, well, I don't have any more left in here, and I bought an album.

I had a sleeve to look at. Let's take... All the liner notes. Let's take Ledzap. Let's take Ledzaple into the outdoor. The last album they put out. It was well known that when you bought it, they didn't tell you.

The clerk didn't go, Pse, come here. You didn't read it in Cream Magazine. You heard on the streets. Right. And when you bought the album, you took it home, you take a sponge, and you wipe the album on,

and it becomes all different colors. Yeah. You know, for a band to do that, it cost them five cents to make you that much happy. Yeah, right, right. You know, I threw away 50 fucking T-shirts. I've been giving away, like, all this, you know, we're both moving, so everybody's giving away shit.

I give away, I've given away, you know, 50% of my T-shirts. And if you look at the shirts, they're basically all black. Yep. And I'll tell you why, I don't like the color. black that much. I like it from time to time. Sure. But if you print a shirt out for your business and it's black,

you're telling me you're too cheap to pick another color. Be creative. That's what you're telling me. When you give me a black shirt, you're already telling me that you're not fucking creative and that you were too cheap to pay the extra 50 cents to get a gray shirt

or a purple shirt or a blue shirt. Something completely different than everybody's doing. You're trying to stand out Why are you getting a black fucking shirt for? Why are you putting out a black shirt for? Right, right. So these are the fucking things I look at. Right there, I don't want to do business with you.

Just because you gave me a black shirt right there. All right, business is done. Because you're too cheap. That's 50 cents to make me happy. Sure. You know, these are the things I look for. So the album, to me, was a sad, you know, like you. When you went to that thing, we fucking deliver papers all week.

Yeah, right. We sold nickel bags, bitch. Yeah. You know, this wasn't given to us. We're delivering pizzas. I'm working at a horse stables. And you've got to walk to 60th Street. We're walking to 60th Street.

And I've had these kids come on the show. They've been on Zoom, Steve Villo. Me and him on Saturdays, we met a ton. And we bought a nickel bag, and we smoked a joint. And then we walked to the fucking record store, along with six other them. And we each had plans. You're going to buy sabotage. You're going to buy the White Album.

I'm going to buy Kiss alive And you went up there And then you switched I don't really want that I want to you fuck you You were supposed to get that one God damn And now you throw me off

I want to get I And listen to Iron Maid And ACDC together You fucking doucheback Fuck you Fuck him He's not going to camp With us either

You know So it was like It was like That just went right back What's that That sounds like a real fight No that's true You're not going camping with us either

You're not going to campbell with us either You're not going to campers You're not going You switch fucking bands when you get it. I call it, all right. If they're out of the album, okay, then you get the king's album. But you can't go from fucking the who to the kinks. That's not fair.

You said you were going to get the who live at Leeds. I was all ready for it. You told me you're going to get Chinese food. You show up in Polarge food. I got nothing against Paragis, but you told me you were bringing Chinese food. My mouth is watering to Chinese food. You understand me? You can't do that shit to me.

Who keeps sending me for that? I don't know. Did you, like, did you guys have, like, if I see something and the, the packaging is already kind of messed up, I won't get it.

I like stuff to be probably weird. Like, I have weird rules about stuff like that. Do you, do you, like, have, like, a pristine collection? Let me ask you a question. What? I'll put a fucking sandwich out there

in the street on packages, and you'll eat it. So, stuff with the package. I've given you fucking food. hasn't been packets in years. Well, no one told me that. You told me it was nice. You've beaten it, so it's knock it off.

If I don't say something packaged, I won't buy it. What about those wings from 7-Eleven? I never ate winters. Yes, you did. I'll walk out right now. We got one left. Fuck you. I have never even went to September 11th.

I have not. You know, you got rats all over. Oh, you son of a bitch. I had the Indian call me, direct the house. The Indian was like, hello. Hello. Lee was just here. I heard you went to subway the other day. He ate six wings.

I did not go to school. You have no idea how many goddamn tweet something in now. Stop eating those wings. I didn't, oh. The wings. It's been. How dare you say those wings? And then he kept going back to the lizard place.

No, the lizard meat. The lizard meat place. First of all, you don't know which place it is. Yes, it is. You think it's the one on Burbank. You're the one of Magnolia, and I haven't been there. It's the one on Magnolia next to the Arabian Pizza nights. Oh.

The Arab pizza, they're over to this corner there. There's Arabian pizza. Yeah. Arabian pizza nights. You go over there, got that slice that pizza. Oh, my God. It's got hummus.

It's got a barbba ganouche sauce on it. The guy's like, eat my pizza. Not a million fucking ears, guy, right? You're fucking out of your mind. I'm not eating that Arab pizza. You're fucking crazy. Arabian nights pizza,

and then it's got like a hair cutting place. It's got a black hair cut in place. Yeah, black hair cutting place. And that mall on the corner there. That's taco. When I first moved here, they told me at the Hawaii, don't eat that. They had, they had,

found lizard meat there. That's the first because he went to. That's the one that Yelp sentencing. That's all Yelp is. It's communism. They're saying you to go eat where the bad food is. That's why I don't look at Yelp. I don't believe it. I'm sorry to interrupt you. No, whatever. There's no lizards of the

I haven't been there because you ruined it, and I haven't been to the other one because John Budd got sick there. Which one? On Burbank. Tom goes out of Montelow. Yeah. It's nine people got sick. Bleeding out of five holes. And this guy goes to eat. No, I don't.

Last week, listen, what green apple dudes? What green apple do? No, you're a green apple. You're a green apple. That means I have to be green apple. Green apple raised their prices up by a dollar. Yeah, now you call me. I went to this other Chinese place.

Why? Because green apple raised their prices. Why would you go get inferior Chinese food and save 10 cents and you're eating some kid's cat? Some kids putting a poster together and you're eating them watching TV thinking you're doing a good deed. Green apple don't have cats. They have nothing.

they have you remember I've been in that kitchen I'm friends in the kitchen no you haven't just ask them I ask him I look right there that's strength that's the strength building that you see I deal with you go to green apple we stick the green apple we'll loyal to green apple you don't go nowhere else with green apple you order from some Chinese place and nobody's even heard him and I tell him to go to green apple and get the food then he calls me it tells me it's right the mushoe pork is good no it's tremendous but you you waste of your time and got to

deliver and then he gets that fucking people to deliver to your house. Not Uber-Eats. I only get it if the restaurant has delivery. The food comes up. And he's telling me that he only... No, I don't do post-me. He's telling me that he only eat nothing at the wrapping. Every time he got a pizza from from Pizza belt, whatever the fuck that is.

Domino's. We did those guys too. How's that packaging? How's that packaging? What are we going to do that? If I live in a world where I can't trust my Domino's drivers, I'm just going to kill myself. Well, you have to have some sort of respect. You can't. I hope you don't. I hope you don't.

All those peaches used to eat, they used to pick their greasy nose and eat the pepperoni off it, and then you'd sit there with Paula, thinking you were fucking a little Italy, you fuck. Eating some guy's snotty fingers pre-COVID.

I probably lost a finger by now and shit the COVID. Me or the delivery guy? The delivery guy. Thank God we were talking about music. Oh, my God. So, How did you...

Unreal. What was the first big artist you worked with? You had the pleasure to work with. Well, I think it would probably be like in my 20s, when I started producing records more... So I joined a band called The Sunstreak. I mean, we didn't do shit.

We sold a lot of records on the Warp Tour. And they were already a band before I joined. So they kind of built this thing. thing locally in Rochester. And when I joined the band, we went on Warp Tour and we sold a ton of records out of the 10. Are you familiar with Warp Tour? No. Okay.

So Warp Tour is this, it doesn't really happen anymore. But every summer, it's about 50 shows in maybe like 60 days, 50 cities, and it's like 90 bands. Oh, shit. And I mean, you know, early in the 90s when it got started, you know, you would see, I mean, We're talking like deaf tones, MXPX, no effects. You know, like it was really rooted in the punk rock scene. But it grew. And then so in 2006, the band that I was in, the Sunstreet, we did warp tour, sold a ton of records.

And while we were out there, we made a lot of relationships with other bands that were kind of like growing. And then we toured with like, we did some dates with Chris Daughtry. and then we did some dates with I mean so many just randomly rock bands but it ultimately led to you know like we did a record deal with capital I think we sold 10 copies of the record

where we sold you know 20,000 on our own with a label behind you you'd think that that would change but it is what it is but yeah so I mean that was probably my first introduction to like the actual next level you know, where the major label artists are sort of swing. And then when I left the band,

I did a publishing deal with a music publisher outside of New York City. And that's when I started working with, you know, artists that were, you know, like, you know, like Pink or John Legend or new politics. One of the first early cuts that I had was on a Backstreet Boys album. Yeah, yeah, it was cool. It was cool. And then, yeah, I came to L.A. in 2013. Now, let's back up to the Backstreet Boys. Yeah, sure. I'm going to just, sorry about that.

What do you mean you picked up a piece with them? So my manager at the time was, well, he's a huge record producer, massive records, the 90s, 2000s. So he was working with them. He was managing me as a producer, and he would say, you know, he'd reach out to me and say, hey, you know, I'm going with the Backstreet Boys into the studio. so we need a track that sounds kind of something like this. So he'd send me a demo of a song that he had started

and then I would go in, I'd play all the instruments and put it together at my home studio and I'd send it out, send him the instrumental, and then they would essentially record their vocals over that and that's kind of how you break in like you sort of work through the other guys that are sort of further in and bigger that are in the room with the artist, so to speak.

So yeah, so I've never even met the guys. I still haven't met pink and I had two songs on her album I mean one of the songs was the title track of the record and became their world tour and the whole thing started in my fucking living room and she doesn't have any idea but yeah sometimes this is how it is but it's kind of cool too

You get paid or credit? Both Both, both Yeah, you get on that pink song I'll see your name Oh yeah for sure No shit. Yeah yeah yeah there were two songs on that record The Truth About Love and good old days Lyrics or music or both

So I was credited as a writer and producer. I didn't write any of the lyrics. She writes her all her own lyrics. A lot of artists, you know, everyone's process is different. There have been plenty of artists that I have written lyrics for. But Pink writes all her own lyrics. She's very private with that process, I suppose. So you have people who do beats?

Yeah. And just do beats. You do beats too. You don't give a fuck. If I call you and say, I need beats. Yeah. You do beats. And then there's guys that just write.

Yeah, there's guys that just write lyrics. You know the guys that just write lyrics? Sure. How do they make it? How do they do it? Well, you still, like, as a lyricist, you still own a piece of the copyright of the music. You know, it's like Bernie Topin

with Elton John. He wrote every word that Elton's ever saying. Still, to this day. Bernie's still right. Yeah, still. Elton showed, I know someone that wrote with Elton, and Elton showed up, and this is in the last two years,

Elton showed up with a fucking notebook full of Bernie's lyrics. That's whose lyrics he uses. He just uses Burton. You know, and it's like poetry. You know, the lyric is so much of, I mean, in my opinion, it's the most important part of the song is you can't print a melody on a t-shirt, first of all.

You might remember how a melody is sung, but the lyric is what speaks to your soul. It's what you connect with and what you relate to. You know, whether or not you hear yourself in that song and that artist. So, yeah, there's plenty of writers that don't write lyrics that may only come up with melodies. Because, you know, when you're writing songs and you're sort of deep in that process, a lot of times you're just humming melodies yourself and singing gibberish. And putting it to lyrics is a whole different craft.

Some people don't necessarily do that. And then there's some lyricists that just don't really have that musical inclination, but they know how to use their words or how to get down into that story that they want the song to say. It's weird that with the amount of music, like I'm a, as a musician, I get an a half.

I never really tried. I have musical rhythm because of my blood. Sure. I don't think, I would always love to play the guitar. But writing, as always, when I hear music, another guy that I wanted to always play on this podcast, But I think I would get a lot of shit over playing him because people never really knew the power of who he was.

Was Elton John. Yeah, right. The only song I could play on this podcast that would kind of get them boned as Benny and the Jets. Sure. I can't play my other favorite. Because as far as writing was concerned, for me growing up,

Elton John and Paul McCarthy were head-to-head. Sure. Because I saw the race they were having. I grew up at a time where it was Elton and then McCarthy fired a grenade. Yeah. It was Elton, then McCarthy fired a grenade. And then Lenin got in the mix. And it was back and forth.

I mean, it was just, there was a time period where it was just Paul McCartney in the wings for me. Yeah. It's a big part of my youth in Elton John. Elton John, there's time to I listen to Elton John and I cry. Yeah, man. He's that big in my. That's unreal. And people will laugh.

I've never got to see him live. Yeah. Because I don't want to see that shit now. Yeah, you want the memory. I don't want the Liberachi look. I get it. You know, just now talking to you, I'm thinking about Bernie Taupin's lyrics to, Oh, Gene, oh, Gina.

Like, the lyrics, all those simple lyrics. He's got a song he came out with in, 83, is one of my favorite songs. It is his gayest song of all time. I'm not going to lie to nobody. You're probably going to think I'm gay. but I think it is a fucking badass song. Which one was it? I'm still standing.

God damn! He goes off on that song. Oh, man, I got to go back. He goes off on that. You never heard I'm still standing? I know I have. I'm still standing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm still standing. But then, you got to remember from the fifth grade to maybe, maybe fourth grade, maybe third grade. There was a time pretty well. And John just went off of five or six years. bro. Sure. Just one on.

Yeah. Philadelphia Freedom. Yep. Hello, baby, hello. Haven't seen your face all while. Yeah, right. Oh, my God. The lyrics are not a brilliant.

Yeah. What is it? Hello, baby, hello. Haven't seen your face all the while. I only know the classics for the most part. Are you still the same? Oh, spoiled child. Say hello, hello.

Oh. I got to check it out. Harmony and me, a really good company. Tremendous. See, YouTube, this is why we should be able to play this shit right now. YouTube. In our ocean from a sea, harmony. Me, I really love you, and I want to love you forever.

All that shit. You can't write that. That was written by a gay man. Then you got to listen to, like, Judas Priest. Now you got to listen to Judas Priest and go, holy fuck. He was talking about fucking men. Yeah. Because what, you know.

Burn it up. You know, burn it up. Yeah. I know you feel the flame. Yeah. I know you feel. No. These one of them have no idea.

They had no idea. Yeah. I know you feel the same. I know you feel the flame. Yeah. Burning deep inside of you. Yeah. Turning you up.

Burning you down. Breaking you out of the cold sweat. Unreal. My dick. And when you lose control of your. Very soul. Your asshole. Your desire takes over.

You'll feel the heat's way. Your answer my way. Look at you. You answer my way. And suddenly you'll know that you're burning up. You got to dick up your fucking ass. Bab boom. Oh, my God.

There you go. Book comes out September 23rd, Judas Priest. The singer Rob Halford, pre-order it. I got no... He's got a book. He's got a dog in the fight, but... I can't wait to read that fucking book. Hell, yeah.

Does it take anything away from me that they didn't write the lyrics? Does that mean anything? One's a performer and one's a writer. It's just not the same as comedy. You know, man, when Chris Rock was putting out all those specials, it was a four-man operation. That's why I told this day I respect Chris Rock. And I always wish that one day I had a special

that I could get for the top comics, pay them all, and say, give me your best 15 minutes with no ego. Yeah. Just give me your best 15 minutes. I've had dear friends that have written jokes that have said to me, bro, I got a joke

that I wrote and it's for you. Every time I see it on stage, it should be coming out of your mouth, especially Josh Wolfer's one of those guys. Oh, no shit. That he'll call me and go, I wrote a joke, I tried it, it's more your place. So Prince, how many songs do Prince write?

and give away. Yes, endless. You know, John Lennon wrote, John Lennon wrote Fame, and Elton John called them up and said, What the fuck? You give him a song, what am I fucking,

one of my dog shit? And he goes, give me a couple days. And he called him up and gave him Benny and the Jets. Wow, that's not real. How the fuck do you do that? Like, for a guy like me,

I'm sitting there going, really, he just gave you Benny and the Jets? Yeah. And I know there's more of the story. Always, yeah. There's more of the story. Totally. He probably gave him the lyrics and put together the piano, you know.

But that's always been, everybody, what's, you know, the seven wonders of the world, you know, who built the pyramid? I don't know. Twelve fucking Mongolians. What are you bothering me for? And who gives a fuck? All right? I give a fuck on how they wrote, you know, what's that really good out in John's song that he wrote? It just kills you.

Like, it just. Tiny dancer. It's just no before, like in that era, in that era. It's causes with tiny dance. It's another one that sticks a dick in your fucking heart. Your song. Yeah, right. Your song.

Oh, Jesus. Your song is, you know. Did you see the movie they made the biopicture? The Elt and John movie? I tried. Yeah. I love Elton John more than life itself. Yeah.

But he lost me in that one. I got you. I really liked Motley Crew. Yeah, that was cool. I really, Queen Men's of Men's. Sure. Like, I watched it, but I won't watch it again. Sure.

Motley Crew, I watched 20 times. Yeah, it was good. I still watch Motley Crew. If I'm bored in the hotel room or something. Yeah, right. I just watched it maybe three weeks ago. Yeah. I like the part when he describes the bands he's managed.

Yeah. The Machine Gun Kelly was good. It was Tommy Lee. He was great. But when he goes, he was really good. Yeah. That kid, they were all good. Yeah, he brought it.

Believe it not, they were all really good. Yeah. That was a really good movie. Yeah. You know, I always, a couple weeks ago, people were fucking saying shit that I had said, you know, and it's funny, let me call me and they're like, obviously they didn't see the Motley Group movie. Obviously they didn't see what was going on in the strip. Yeah. 30, 20 years ago.

I'm surprised that. I'm surprised that wasn't the first plane to burn. The opening fucking scene in the Motley crew movie is a woman squirting at a party. It's wild. Yeah, it really is. It's crazy. He eats the chick's pussy, and she starts squirreting. at a party. That's the opening

scene of a fucking movie. That's a, oh yeah, that's a party you want to be at. I want to be at a party with a couple Mexican serving your hors d'oeuvres. Get the fuck out of here. Put a black suit on. Talking uptight white people will bound to get COVID eventually. What are you working on now,

my brother? So I have a band solo project. It's called The Bad Dreamers. I put a record out two years ago, and I'm finishing my second record right now. So I'm putting out a song every month until February.

We thought about, you know, because when you've got like a full length record of music, typically, you know, you put a single or two out, and then you put out the album. But now you can't, you know, I can't tour, I can't play shows. I can't do any of that shit. Were you doing a lot of lifestyle? Oh, 100%. No shit.

Yeah, yeah. I, you know, I was under the impression Matt, this is what I was impression. I was impression. You're the guy that if I want a song for a movie, I call you. I'm that guy. Really? 100%. Yeah. The other day, I had nothing to do.

Sure. And I went looking for a movie just to... And I forgot that Jimmy Page did the soundtrack for it. Death Wish 2. Oh, shit. Jimmy Page did the soundtrack for it. What? Yes. And it's... The creepiest.

It's perfect. No. It's brilliant. Watch it. Oh, I got to check that out. Jimmy Pades did the sound. Was Bronson in that one? Yes.

Oh, fuck. I've only seen the first one. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Don't even get me started on movies. I'll talk movies. That's which was great till three.

Yeah. No, no, no, no. I'm not even going to give him three. No, I can't. I can't. I got to look at myself. Yeah, I've only seen the first one. The first two were good.

After that. Four, I wanted to kill him. Yeah. Because he was like 65. And he was chasing. people in catching them. And I can't have that. I can't have the 65-year-old

catching a little black kid. That's not going to happen. That's not going to happen. All black lives matter. That's not going to happen. That's not going to happen. Charles Bronson's 64 chasing a little poor of a kid. He jumps over a fence.

No, it's not. I can't jump over a brick, okay? And I fucking squad. I do everything. I can't jump over a brick. I'm telling you right now. I couldn't do it. He was shooting people away from 800 yards.

No, you're not. You can't even read the paper. I can't see without glasses. How are you going to shoot somebody 800 yards? Why are you trying to sign with his propaganda before? Oh, that's incredible. I got to check that I didn't know he scored that movie. He scored that movie.

Jimmy Paid scored. And somebody, there was another scoring. You know, obviously you had the 80s, the cheesy Georgia Marada. I think that was his name, Scarface. Scarface. He did a couple of those movies. who did the soundtrack for Thief was one of those crazy motherfuckers.

Oh, man. Whoever deceived to look up who did the soundtrack for the movie Thief was. And those soundtracks made those 70s movies. A lot of them. Oh, dude, I mean, but for me, horror film is, that's my shit.

Well, you said something in the evening about The Exorcist. Yeah. It's music for the Exorcist. Yeah, well, no, one of the songs on my new record is actually inspired by The Exorcist. We could talk about The Exorcist for three hours. I've got theories about that movie. Oh, please.

Don't get started. You know, it's wild. And you know what? After all these bitches, we got raped. Everybody got raped. Everybody in Hollywood got raped. Everybody's beating up Harvey Weinstein. What did they do to poor Linda Blair?

Oh, gee. Nobody's ever said a fucking word about Linda Blair. And why Linda Blair hasn't lifted her hands, her parents should be shot. Like the people who let their kids hang out with Michael Jackson. It was crazy what they did to her in that film. What they did to her at 13 in that film. Once you get scale, she couldn't have gotten a lot of movie.

A lot of money. They made a freeze. They shot all those movies in the freezer. Yeah. With the dust. Yeah. Right over here. Tangerine Dream?

Tangerine Dream. Fucking A. Tangerine Dream. Yeah, right. I'm telling you, all those people, when those movies were big, they were all scored by Tangerine Dream. Tangerine Dream did a couple other movies. Yeah. Because anything Michael Man did.

Yeah. Anything Michael Man did, I think Tangerine Dream did. Yeah. It's kind of weird. So that's what I was the... I didn't know you had a band. I'm very sorry. Yeah, no, it's okay.

What happened was I went to Wikipedia, my website. Sure. My internet went down this morning. Oh, no, whatever. Yeah, yeah. But it went down this morning while they were moving, so...

Yeah. I couldn't... But I thought you just... I thought, like... Like... Damn, there are a lot of lineups. What's that? Tandrine dream.

Every year they change. I'm trying to see... Oh, yeah, that's a steady rotation. They're like... I don't know how you compare it to Sorry they have over a hundred things In their discovery So I wouldn't be able to tell you

Yeah no it's amazing they did 160 god damn That's wild Yeah no I You know I score films I write songs for TV and film You know that I It's sort of how I make my living

Now is songwriting and composing For picture For series and whatnot But yeah I still I have a soul project. It's band. It's, it's really all me. I write all the songs I produce them, play the majority of the instruments until the new record. I've got my my guys are on it now. But yeah, I'm putting out a new song every month through the rest of, through February. Just because,

you know, we can't get out in tour. We can't promote the music in a proper way. So we're trying to stretch it out and do something different and put out a new song every month. And then at the and we're going to release a vinyl, you know, an actual physical copy with the full record. He plays the skin flute, if you ever need to come in. Hey. Every night.

And the key of D. The key of D. Yep. But it's kind of cool. I have a buddy who does, I'm blanking on the term now, but he also produces, and there was a movie a year or two ago

that the girl kept reliving the same day. And her phone would ring. Sure. Yeah. called Happy Death Day. He wrote the jingle just for the ringtone. Oh, cool. Yeah, yeah.

So, like, you tell that. Yeah, that's a gig. Yeah. Unbelievable. It's not just songs. It's just like ringtone. It's pretty cool. That's intellectual property.

I mean, that's, you know, that's a copyright. Yeah. It's crazy. I mean, there's so many ways to monetize music because music is used in so many, you know, like a ringtone in a film. They need a sound and it needs to be original. They can't use the Apple one. They can't use the Google one.

those are, they own those. So they need an original sound, you know. There's so many different ways. I watched the interview year day with whoever wrote Ghostbusters, the music. Dude, one of the best stories for a theme song ever.

You want to say it? No, please. No, no, I forget the whole thing. Yeah, it was amazing. Yeah, I'm clavionic too. You got the call. Yeah. What's the guy's name?

The dude's name was, because it wasn't Ghostbusters at first. They called it something else. Ray something. Yeah. I think that was his only song, like he was a one hit wonder. Yeah. But he really was a lot more.

They just interviewed him. They just interviewed. Ray Parker Jr. What else is he responsible for? I mean, that's definitely his biggest. Let's see what he's got on. Ghostbusters. A woman needs love.

Yeah, they only showed that. I don't know. Crazy. It's crazy that you would get that, like, look, okay, I do stand up. Yeah. You know, I do stand up, and you crack jokes. Yeah, there's a medium for it. If somebody puts it on YouTube or Netflix or somebody puts it on whatever about it,

even like watching LaBamba when they're fucking in the car. And also they play Richie's music on Richie Valens. And you listen to the music, the feeling. It changes everything. It changes everything. I can't imagine. Yeah. I couldn't imagine.

Even when I listen to myself on radio, it's bullshit. Sure. I'm talking about a song that you started with and all of a sudden you're going, you know, I can't imagine being Aerosmith. Sure. Getting in a car and Dream on, which is played every day in America, is on the radio. And you're numb to it, but you think about for just one second how that all started. Yeah. With you just playing two chords on the fucking piano.

Just tinkering around. Your wife just left you. You're looking at the table. There's bills on the table. You're in no danger of paying them. You're at your lowest point in your life. And those two chords on a piano. And all of a sudden, you think of like, yeah,

they're lucky if they think they're going to get paid, dream on. Yeah, right. And all of a sudden you're like, drink on. It hits you like a truck. And it just hit you. And it's got to be. be a fucking phenomenal feeling. Like I said, I'm at the, you know,

I could do whatever fuck I want. I go back to law school or whatever. I just, I got to raise a fucking kid, and that's my biggest concern. But if I could do it all over it, again, I wish I would have had the, I didn't get a guitar because I knew the cocaine would make me point it.

Like, I just knew. You know what I'm saying? There's no reason. There was no reason of buy a guitar. because I was only going to own it for two weeks. It was going to be in and out of that porn shop. I knew this going in. I knew who I was at the time.

So I knew if I bought a 500-a-dollar guitar, it's going to be at a pawn shop every time I get in a hole or eventually. So that's why I never committed to music. But if I ever have a chance to come back and get another life, I'm going to have to go music. It's in me. It's in me. Oh, it absolutely is.

And I don't let it out, you know. And even now, I'm like, let me just try to write a song. Like, I would like to just write a song one time. Yeah, just write lyrics. I would fail miserably. But that's what it's all about, man. Like, I feel like, I mean, I just think about, like, my journey. I mean, there's so many songwriters and producers and composers that have achieved so much more than me.

But here I am in Los Angeles. I'm 38. I pay the bills making music. And I think, like, you know, it's just a series of fail. that leads you down your path because nobody really knows what they're fucking doing when it comes to a creative endeavor. You just try shit and fuck up and then you move on and you either decide to do it again or you quit.

And it's the people that fuck up over and over and over and somehow figure things out along the way. You never, let me make something crystal clear for anyone that's listening that has any inclination to pursue something creative, anyone in their ear telling them they can't fucking do it, the only thing that you know for sure is going to happen is that you're just going to keep making mistakes. But those mistakes might point you in the right direction of the right mistakes to make. Because even if you're, you know, if you're, I don't know, I wouldn't even know who to compare it to, but anyone that says that they've got to figure it out,

they're lying. I did. All the wrong things to get to the right place. That's right. Yeah. Okay, I went to prison. You know, I got, you know, I was the black sheep of the family, my family. You know, I'm not proud of these things. Sure.

But I'm who I am today. Yeah. You know, I'm doing this Patreon, and now I'm getting different type of messages, you know. And I've noticed the last two weeks, it's 19, 223. struggling right now they're really really really struggling these kids yeah they're either pre-college or getting out of cottage if you're pre-college right now what's going through your fucking mind what's going through your mind yeah you worked all your life you did everything now you're not even gonna live the college

experience yeah there's no frat parties wild it definitely take some time off can you how was that not gonna be football this year has anybody wrapped their heads around that We got the announcement a week ago that there's not going to be no college. Like the ACC and somebody else. Big Ten, yeah. Big Ten. I don't know.

I think the ACC's still on. I think a couple of them are playing. But regardless of the fact, do you understand the impact that that's going to have? Billion of dollars. To a community and a college. Do you understand the impact? When you go on Wikipedia, Texas A&M and see what their endominers for football, You know, that's, that's, you know, if you know, if you know sponsors, like I lived in Boulder.

Yep. So I understand the sponsor. The guy who runs his business, donates a certain amount, get season tickets. Trustees, is that what you're looking for? Trustees, sponsors, they, you know, they, whatever. Stealing without a gun. That's what it's called. Robbing you without a gun.

You're giving me 25% of your business so you could be part of my fucking team. so I could let you in the locker room so you could sit behind us you could travel and you can have a social life that you all dressed together and read and travel. Nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with being an alumni association.

You know, they have all those, you know, who do you think keeps these fucking programs alive? The boosters. That's what I was like, we're boosters. Boosters, yeah, right? Boosters, you know, so you look at all this, and those boosters are boosters because,

every year they know that the stark quarterback is going to give him a football with an autograph on it. And he could show his fucking friends. They're done with the thing that. I didn't even think about it. What about the coaches who make millions of dollars a year? No.

What about the teams that travel? I mean, this is going to be the college football. I'm going to be honest with you guys. I saw a couple things coming. You guys know that we've talked about them on the show. I didn't see college athletics getting canceled.

Yeah, right. I didn't know. I figured they were going to figure it out. How to fuck, you know, Harvard, you better get your fucking helmets on. You better get your helmets on, Harvard. Because college football has to play this year, Harvard. So you better go back tomorrow and get a vaccine. I don't give a fuck what it is. A helmet, whatever the fuck you got.

A special mask, something. Because how can you not play college fucking sports till spring? You think I want to see fucking Notre Dame against Nebraska and April? Go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself We weren't meant to see You will throw off our fucking time clocks It's like we'll all be living in Alaska

You think we're retarded now Let me see a football get thrown in April You're gonna have a heart attack Why? Because it never happened before It's supposed to be in the fall It's a false point You're not supposed to fucking play football in April You gotta have the weather

The whole thing Yeah What the fuck is that? You're gonna wait for the spring And fuck me up Like now I'm not fucked up and up Didn't I just wake up the other day and say, Have a good weekend? Didn't I just say that on Monday?

Monday morning. Monday morning, have a good fucking weekend. And now you're going to throw football away on me. And I'm really going to be not lost now. What do you think you do when you wake up fucked up on a Saturday morning in a hotel room from doing comedy? College football.

That's true. But there's no comedy either, so. Unreal. We'll fuck the longer. We're fucked. How the fuck is that? are going to be college football. Jesus, they're pissed.

Everybody's pissed. Yeah. But what are you going to do? And that's why we need music now. Oh, yeah, right. More than ever. Listen, man, when I told him heaven tonight, he almost shit his pants.

Nobody listens to that. Yeah, cheap trick, man. It's a cheap trick. This is what's been good about this pandemic that I got to re-discover my music again. Yeah. Like, real, like, again, Elton John. I wanted an Elton John thing one night that I found myself on the floor crying,

ready to blow a motherfucker. Yeah. You know, holding my own knees, ready to blow him in. When you watch him play at Dodgers Stadium in that crystal-covered Dodgers uniform. When he was doing all that, she, he took over New York. Yeah. Like in 1973 one time. I was a kid.

I was still living in New York City. And I remember the traffic. He just sank me. York. The second guy to do that was a man by the name of Michael Jackson.

He just fucked New York up. Yeah, right. In 84? Yeah. 83. And when Thriller came out, it was over.

It was over. When Michael Jackson did the garden, shh. Those streets were shut down, Jack. Those streets, the Tri-City was out.

They were just out. When Michael Jackson came to your town, you just went down there. Wow. The earliest home video that I have, my dad died earlier

this year and I was going through old. I'm very sorry, Thanks, man. I was going through all the VHS tapes. And the oldest tape I could find where I was around is me fucking moonwalking

on Christmas Eve by the Christmas tree just shuffling around to Thriller. My mom's blasting it in the battle. Three years old, I can barely spit. People have no idea about fucking Thriller, man. People have no idea, like, and how they did it was brilliant.

Yeah. How they did the whole Michael Jackson thing. Unreal. It was brilliant. And I was there to judge to see the whole thing. Like it was him with his five brothers, then his voice

matured, then they pulled them away, and they did an album called The Best of Michael Jackson that nobody even knows about. I had to even tell Ms. Pat, remember at the Ice House? With the dove on it or something? With the dove on it. I go, when black people don't know, African Americans don't know about an album, that's when you know the album is deep.

They took Barry Gordy, took Michael Jackson, he was four, 14, 15, did Ben, you know. It's a great out, the best of Michael Jackson. Wow. It's got a song. I remember the title, but I didn't know it came before. Oh, yeah.

It came when he, right, their last album is moving violation. Okay. Which is a great album. Then Germain left because he married Barry Gordy's daughter. Oh, okay. Germain left and put on a solo album. Let's go out tonight. Let's go dancing.

In the morning night. Fucking terrible. Remember when Chris Rock went off on him? He said he was greasy. Jermaine Jackson was a greasy motherfucker. I don't know. I'm going to have to look that up. And let's go tag to the candlelight.

Oh, baby. Let's go out tonight. Anyway, that sucked. So fucking Michael came out with, I think the Jackson 5th, They called themselves the Jackson's. That was it. Then Michael came out with Off the Wall.

Yeah, dude. Which was pretty fucking good. And he won. And I went to see that at the garden with this dude name. Christy Lorenzo, God rest his soul. And it was three quarters empty. Whoa. Shut up.

The cop was empty. Yeah, right. The top was empty. Like Michael Jackson hadn't grabbed people yet. Like, they didn't really know. And then in 19 In the winter of 82 They did the Motown's

25th anniversary And that's the first time that motherfucker Yeah Yeah On a Sunday night Yeah On a Sunday night in America Yeah

And there was no internet Yeah Bro houses were just blowing up Yeah Boom boom boom boom boom boom What the fuck is happening And I slept through it And it made like the front page and newspapers the next day.

Like that was the biggest news. Did you lie and pretend he saw it or no? No, I had it like somebody had that. That's a great question. Somebody showed me like a week later or something like they had taped it on something. I think it was VHS or something. But you had to see it. That's crazy.

But people went, I remember like going out that night and people actually stayed home to watch it and then went out. And they were like, people were coming out going to. You see Michael Jackson come out? Holy shit. Like, he just hit you at that first. And then they were starting to... A little bit of thriller. Yeah.

He was just giving it to you, little by little, dog. Little by a little. He didn't release that album. You would go out to a club. You'd be dancing to the club on some coke and shit. Yeah, yeah. And all of a sudden Michael Jackson came up. And he made that film, that thriller film, where he turned into a wear cat, dude.

He just finger-bangged you the deck. It was wild. Because it was thriller, and then... something else. Then he released the video, then he released the album. And then they did a world tour. Then the Jackson's released an album. So it was called Victory.

And then they all went out together, and they just fucked it up. They fucked it up so much that this is what they were doing. You're ready? This economy, like everybody says, this economy was booming. Well, listen to this economy, bitch. The Giants, the Metallands. 84. Ready?

Yeah. Nine days of Michael Jackson. Yeah, that's insane. Nine nights of Michael Jackson. And then Bruce came in. We're born in the USA for nine nights. Then Bon Jovi would come in. I don't think Bon Jovi... No, Bon Jovi didn't bust all 87, really.

Yeah, right. It was those two. 18 nights. What is that? Like half a million people? I mean, the giant stadiums was, 70,000, probably? Nine fucking nights. Holy shit.

And me and my man Veneery, freeholder. He got tickets. We went on the... We went on... Everyone has a title. I love him. He's a freeholder. That's my boy. I hit him up yesterday. I said, I need my job.

I'm trying to get into the... I'm trying to get back into the... You know, when you got out of prison? You're going to be his driver now? I'm trying. He keeps laughing at me, but he doesn't know. I'm going to start writing letters. It's the deadly news. I'm going to get that job. Listen, man, I'm happy that you took the time out. I'm happy that you wrote a great intro to our song. Yeah, man.

It's gone for the last year. If I start something, I will contact you. I won't either. Yeah, you know, I'm in. Put something to snap before me, whatever. Yep. You're a great guy, man. This is a great time with you, just talking, getting to know you.

Yeah, man. It's just a weird fucking time, you know, and people just... Yeah. I'm happy that you. you're still able to do your music. Now, what's the name of your band again? The Bad Dreamers.

Now, this is a solo project. Yeah. Do you play every instrument? Up until this record that I'm finishing right now, I was playing every instrument. Like with your intro, I played all that shit. On guitars and all the... No shit.

Yeah, yeah. But yeah, so with the Bad Dreamers, I mean, listen, if you like Duran Duran or Nine-inch Nails or Peter Gabriel, it's very much reminiscent of that. And, yeah, you're... You can find it everywhere. That's a big spectrum, though. Yeah, it is.

When people send me emails, like, hey, listen to my band. They're very Black Savagey. Sure, sure. Very, some guys sent me in some music the other day. Yeah. And I look at everything. This, I almost hit myself against the computer. It was like the Grateful Dead, Dead.

It was like the Grateful Dead had died. Yeah, right. And they just propped them up and played. Oh, gee. And they were young kids, but I think the Mets got them already. Something. Oh, my God. I don't know where the kid sent me the video from.

I hope it was a joke. I hope for his sake. I hope he's not listening right now. I hope he is because he sent me some terrible fucking music, man. It was, usually I get some pretty interesting shit. Some of it is not up my alley, but I'm still impressed with it. This was like a band, I think, out of West Virginia. Oh, boy.

They better go right back into that coal mine. Go to the mountains. I got to spray the mic. when you talk, they were bad. I think it was a joke. I swear to God, man. I get some shit sometimes and people think like I'm like a judge

on fucking the voice. Sure, yeah. I swear to God. Yeah. I would watch that show. What? You as a judge on one of those? I have no time for that.

Who am I to judge somebody? Who the fuck of mine to tell somebody that music is like. I can't listen to it. I can tell you if I love something, if I could, you know, I could tell you, it's like that episode of the Sopranos

him Christopher. Did you ever see that episode? Oh yeah, for sure. When he hit the guy with the guitar and he gave him Matt from him. Here, go shoot up. And he takes the record to the old man, the Jew, Hes. And Hesch tells him it's not a hit, you know. I'm one of those guys. I could tell you if it's going to catch.

Yeah, sure, yeah. You know, but I can't tell you if it's good or not. Sure. You know, if you got something that's catchy. Yeah, you just doesn't take it. You know, I'm an old man. I know. Sure.

You know, like this summer, we. don't get summer hits anymore. Yeah. Yeah, right. What was the summer hit this year? Yeah, I mean, if you listen to the radio. Fucking people dying on FaceTime. Yeah, right.

That's the summer hit of the summer. That's the summer hits. It's only every year. You know, the last summer hit, the greatest impact summer hit I've had in my life, you're going to freak out what song is. destroyed this summer. Some girl,

uh, yeah, miss you by the stones. Is that the name of the song? I've been all the non so long. Girl, I miss you.

Oh, yeah. I've been dreaming all along. To do, do, do, to do to do. That was the last huge summer song. Before that, it was

ww, www, peter Frampton. Oh, Frampton comes alive. When I was a kid, bro, there wasn't a block you didn't hit that Frampton. If you played anything else but Frampton, you get a backhand. You better put Frampton, Mom, Doug. Frampton never did anything else after that.

You ever noticed that Frampton came alive, and that was it. Nobody ever went to see him again. He came alive one time. That was a one-time performance for Peter Frampton. Great album, though. Wow. You know, but my summer, I remember my summer songs. one of my greatest summer songs

first time I made out with a girl the Eagles one of these nights 75 what are you fucking nuts one of these crazy old nights we're gonna find out pretty mama what turns on the night what's going on

Oh yeah Was there a panther in that song? A panther Yeah So we were talking about money earlier For someone who did that who did like a one-hit wonder. Yep.

Can they survive? Like, maybe not living in the hills, but could they have a one-bedroom apartment for the rest of their lives if they're song? Listen. I don't know. If you wrote a hit song back when records and tapes and CDs

were selling and you were the only writer and that shit went number one on the Hot 100, you could pretty much do whatever the fuck you want. Wow. Yeah. And that's when there was all three genres? When you could get it, you know, Like if, I mean, the record companies are making so much money from streaming right now.

Maybe even more than they were during, like, the physical copy, you know, boom. You know, like the 90s, the late 90s was when I think CDs were at an all-time high, 2000, 2001. But the major labels are making just as much, if not more now, off of streaming than they were then. But the artists are getting shafted in those days. deals. But if you were a songwriter with a hit song and you're the only writer, a lot of times now you see a lot of different songwriters on songs credited, six or seven writers, which is kind of, it's sort of weird to think about when you have that many songwriters for one

song, but, you know, it is what it is. Sometimes there's that many writers on a TV show or a film or whatever. But yeah, you can, back when physical copies were selling, if you wrote a hit song, and you were the only writer, you were doing just fine. What about just performer? Like, I don't know. Like, we just did the thing on Back and Black. Sure, yeah, yeah.

You hear, you can turn that on any country in the world. You're going to hear that on a rock station every day. Yep. Like, are they making, like, a million a month? Like, what are they? I mean, with classic hits like that that are just going to stay at radio, deep six figures a year. Wow.

For sure. Yeah. That's crazy. For sure. If not, I mean, internationally. It probably is somewhere in the seventh. Probably. You know, I'm a Cuban Jew.

So I'm on top of my SAG dues. Yeah, right. I have a page on my SAG where I can tell how much money are you going to send me every week. Yeah, right. It tells you Sunday at 6 o'clock. What time do I log in? Sunday at 559.

You know what I do? I log in. I want to see the switch come up right there. Boom. Right in front of my eyes. It's so funny, you can tell I'm at the end of my rope. Like, I'm getting checks for $1.21, 7,000. Oh, man.

There's like $1 for 43. But they still better show up in there. They better show up. Yeah, right. It's when they stop showing up. Yeah. My wife was like, yeah, but they're all down. I go, bitch, you put ten of these together.

We got ten. That's a fucking sandwich. You know, I used to throw away the 30-cent ones. Not anymore, bitch. Yeah, no, cash every cent. Tacked. Gas is $3.35 a gas tank. I put all those quarter checks, I use them.

Those people that sent me those quarter checks are like he's not going to use it. Bitch, you got the wrong motherfucker. I found like 1,800 checks going through my mail. They're all for like $8 or whatever, but they'll expire. I'll have to see if I can cash them. For what? I don't know. Because I'm stupid.

Like when you cancel an insurance plan and they send you back $6. Oh, yeah. I have like $0. I have like $18 and like four checks. Yeah, rip them up. They're not going to give you. By the time you get them in the mail, I'm not going to even fuck it. It's like SAG.

Sag won't even rip. Like, if you lose it, sag check, they tell you call us back in 90 days. Make sure that we didn't send it on the wrong horse. I look at the fucking date. It gets sent to, and I'm by the mailbox

at attention. I'm watching a mailman park. I'm watching them go from house to house. Because if my check in that bet, let's go back to all those houses and see you gave it to somebody on my mistake. Because my fucking sag said it was coming on this day. That's all I

know. That's all I know is cocktail. Whatever the fuck. So you better have my check. I remember I had the Filipino, the mailman dad, the one that me and Ralphie had. He would like tell me from far away. Like he would look

when he was taking out. Like I would just have to whistle. And he would go. Not today, mother. Nothing today. And I would run upstairs. Where the fuck is the check, you motherless cocksucker? I sent it on Friday. No, you didn't. It would have been here

I bet you can even smell the bag in the checking it. I used to get pissed. I used to lose my money. I was doing blow, and you told me my check was going to be there on Friday? That motherfucker I better be there on Friday because I really have plans. You see what I'm saying? The majority is expensive.

You can't cancel. I'm not talking plans with your girlfriend to go to dinner. I'm talking I'm buying an April and I'm trying to check up at Hotel Hollywood there. And I'm going to put Coke rocks in their ass. You can't cancel that shit. Hotel Hollywood. Right there. They sell lizard meat right there.

Hotel Hollywood. Oh, I've been there. That's a good lizard one. Hotel Hollywood. Yeah, 90 days. And then you have to call them. Then it takes another 90 days. You might as well just lose the fucking check.

Yeah. Now I'm moving. Oh, I'm going to get robbed of debt. They don't have SAG in New York? Yeah, they got SAG in New York, but in the Squitchie. In the Switchie Rui? Oh, they're going to tag those checks. I'm surprised you're not going to stop by the SAG office one more time before you leave.

Bro, who you think you do? dealing with you. He's going down that right after we leave here. I'm going down there. Why do you think we're doing an afternoon one? I'm going down Monday nice and early to see what's behind that basket. Because I guarantee there's some after ones too. See, SAG merged with after us.

Now you don't even know what's out there. Now they're really stumbling from you. You're in the union? No, not yet. What the fuck are you waiting for? The right job. Really? Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. Most of the work that I've done up to this point has been non-union stuff. but yeah I'll eventually I'll join sag and get my stupid voice on something I think you'd be in a music type unit

well yeah I'm I thought you meant sag I am in a in a union yeah what the fuck are you're working this fucking guy finally I thought you said in the union meaning sag I'm not in say but I am

in a musician's union musician's union what is there a writer's union like a composer's union is there a producer's union You know, what's so fucked up about the film industry is that the only component of filmmaking that doesn't have a union are the composers. It's crazy. You would think by now that they would have some sort of a union, but they don't.

And, you know, for whatever reason, I really don't know what it is. I'm sort of just at the front of that journey in the film composing side. But, yeah, there's no union for film composers. There is for musicians, for performance. You know, if you're playing guitar, like, I play guitar for a dude on Regis years ago, and I got paid through the union for that. In New York? Yeah, yeah.

Regis Philbin? Yeah, yeah. God rest of so. Rest in peace, man. Yeah, it was August of 2011 right before he left the show. I got to meet him. It was cool. He had a pretty interesting life as a musician.

It's been cool, man. You're out of you making it happen. Yeah. You're just, uh, and, uh, and, uh, you're just, uh, and, uh, you're just, uh, and, uh, and, you're just, and, you're going to hit a home run eventually. Yeah, well, we'll see. Two-time Grammy nominated. Yeah, fuck.

We'll see, man. You throw enough spaghetti against the wall. But I like what you said earlier and the way you encourage people and that's what people want to hear. I mean, especially now. You know, we're in a tough void right now for young guys.

Yeah. And what do you tell a young musician right now that they can't play live music? Fucking, this is a time to learn how to write. You know, I mean, I'm doing a thousand things I'm not writing comedy. I'll tell you that right now.

I'm not writing any comedy. There's no comedy coming out in my life. Yeah, we fuck around here. And we goof around, and he tells me, how do you come up with that? But the other day, I called him up, and I was high, and I was thinking about how Americans have lied to us for years.

Dracula is really gay, but they didn't want you to let you know that he was gay. For sure. I read it years ago that Dracula was gay. Anyway, it doesn't matter. He asked me how I came. up with I don't even know he goes how do you come up with this there's a lot more to that theory that as a horror guy I know that he's he had to be gay yeah 100%

he had to be gay and they made him Dracula fucked everybody trannies men female he don't give a fuck yeah he gave dick to everybody Nosferatu man but then the Americans said fuck it only women he can only wipe women in the neck yeah the bullshit yeah the Western take on Dracula's way different than what he used to be yeah used to bite men on the neck yeah And you had to stick your finger up his ass and he'd let go. Like a pit bull. That's why when a pit bull bites you, you got to stick your finger up his ass.

And he breaks the grip. A lot of people don't know that. We drop the knowledge on a Tuesday. What I'm saying? On a Wednesday. I'm sorry. Wednesday. The 17th.

Blurz-day. The 19th of fucking August. Whatever the fuck it is. Listen, I want to thank you for coming on and taking the time. Thank you for having me, man. For doing the jingle for us. It is fucking. I mean, first time I heard it, my cock fucking got hard.

You hit it right in the head. And it was just weird that from listening and from, I learned something from you doing that. Yeah. You know, how predictable I was. I learned that I am predictable. I don't think it's predictability. I think, I mean, dude, listen, I'll give you my version of how that happened.

So, and I'll try to keep it for you because I know we're wrapped it up. No, no, weird. I just don't want to. So. top of the year, like I said, my dad died earlier, February 7th. I mean, my dad was the, he's the only reason I had a shop doing any of this shit. He supported me without wavering. My mom did too, but when my parents split, I stayed with my dad. And yeah, so he died on February 7th, and it was really big. I went back to Rochester. My sister and I did the thing.

I get back into town, and February 22nd. The dog that I came out here with died in a freak accident. Had it for seven years. My ex and I, who's my best friend, Julie Page. Actually, that's Julie. Welcome to church, motherfucker. That's Julie Page. Everybody shows some love.

Yeah, we moved out here with this dog, and he was just, like, such an awesome part of our lives. And exactly two weeks later, he died in a freak accident, February 22nd. And then March comes around. and this coronavirus hits. And, you know, typically when you go through something painful like that, you know, you have to let those feelings move through you. But it's also good to be out and be social and be with friends. But, you know, with the pandemic, you just got to sit at home in your thoughts. So I was at home and really just, I mean, just going through this shit that just happened in February.

and it was really, I mean, I don't think I touched an instrument. And then it's crazy, man. It's just crazy how it works. I open up your podcast one day and I hear you come on and you go, you can't do the music anymore. And as soon as I heard you say it, I was like, I can do something about that. I knew. It was the first time I felt inspired. really the whole year.

And for whatever reason, did I just sat down and it happened? And I hit up Matt. I know, I mean, Matt's, Matt basically moved out here with me. We didn't live together. We lived together for two years in 15, 16. But we're both from New York.

We're both from Rochester. And I had shouts up and I was like, dude, I heard what happened. I want you to just give this to him. Because I felt like I had to just do it and just get it out. So, you know, you asked me earlier what I would say to somebody who's, you know, maybe at the start of that creative journey right now, we're listening at home. Pay no attention to this pandemic.

You've got to get into the shit that inspires you. And you've got to find that spark and you got to throw the gas on it and you just got to get to work, man. It's work. You got to just do it and you can't let anyone else get in your ear and tell you that you shouldn't do it. that you're not going to be able to do it, that it's a numbers game, that it's competition. Your competition is all upstairs. It's all you.

You're going to make your thing. No one else can make it for you. And yeah, I mean, that's my two cents, man. I love you, brother. I love that story. I love that, me saying that. Because I didn't know what I was going to do. Yeah.

You know, I love music. Sure. Music sets the tone. Yeah. That song sent the tone. for the podcast. So I really want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. I'm sorry about your dog and your dad.

No, I appreciate it. I can't imagine what you're going through. And we tried to stop music years ago. We just did it for like three weeks. And you're like, I don't care. Yeah, right. It set the tone. So, yeah.

You did good, man. Thank you very much. I'm sorry that wrong things had happened for the right thing to happen. But that's life, dude. But that's fucking life. Yeah, that's how it goes. You got to take the hand you dealt with. and do the best with it.

I don't know what I'm going to do. You know, I'm going to pack my bags and move, and Lee's going to go spend time with his mom and his dad. And I'm going back to Jersey, and I'm going to put my daughter in school and get her settled, settle myself, and take a couple weeks from this. And I don't want to reboot the church. Sure.

Because we did it. We did the church. The church was the church. You know what I'm saying? like the church was the church. I'll do a Zoom with Lee, where we'll get, we'll do a surprise Zoom

and talk to some people. Scott Cunningham and the fucking crew, you know, Lalingis and stuff. I think the church for now, I think I, I'm sick of booking guests.

I think this is the hardest thing I have had to do in my life. Wow. This is the hardest thing I have had to do. So if I ever do a podcast, again, it's going to be something with a screen,

something like that, because the guest thing was just too hard. Sure. It was just too hard. I've sent out thousands of emails. Yeah. Thousands of emails.

Yeah, it's a ton of... From Pete Rose to... I took chances with everybody. Because you know, the worst thing they could say to you is no. Sure. Some people just said no, which I appreciated. Some people told me to go fuck myself, you know. But I think that was the hardest thing.

And I think the pandemic was when I really realized that I had to do something quick because I was... I was getting the same rotation that the other people get. It's the same guest. So eventually they're not going to go anywhere. I've already been telling stories for fucking eight years. They know every fucking story I say. So whatever my next chapter is, and it really is leaning towards music.

All the numbers are leaning towards music and movies. Because I've been watching little clips online lately, and I see how passionate I get. And then people will hit me back going, dog, you hit it on nail with that actor or whatever, you really plucked it. You should expose that guy a little more and maybe get him on the podcast. I can't get him on the podcast.

Of course, yeah, yeah. I was dying to get Diego Luna on here. Sure. His publicist told me to go shoot myself, you know. So I would do Diego Luna a world of good if he came on the podcast because I watched all his vulnerabilities on Narcos as an actor, you know.

But that was just the toughest thing of this. Yeah. It wasn't doing the podcast. It wasn't the content. It was getting the guests that could just come in and be themselves. Yeah. That's really tough. Yeah, man.

You know, I'm not able to let them. I don't want you to come in to promote your TV show. Yeah, right. I didn't like people coming in to promote something. Yeah, you just want to have a conversation. I wanted people to come in to have conversations. Yeah. And that's what happened.

And then, you know, it turned into something else. So this was my open mic for comedy. Sure. I did two years with Felicia and ate with Lee. Yep. And I learned all the ins and outs, you know, of how it works. And I'm really proud. Fuck yeah, man.

I'm really proud. Hell yeah. We picked up on something that was completely new. Yeah. I learned how to do strategies with it and how to ads and how to, you know, it was really an interesting journey. I want to take a break. Yeah.

And come back with something that I'm really into. Yeah. And just end it. So you'll be hearing for me again, brother. You got it. But I thank you. You really hit it on the fucking head. Awesome.

Thank you. And I said, what's your fucking problem, cugsucker? I didn't eat those wings, God damn it. You what? I didn't eat those wings. Yes, you did. Yes, you did. Real quick, I want to talk to you about something over the weekend.

If you got Instagram, I put a little fucking video up. Listen, the church is brought to you by Manscaped. I love Manscaped. I love it. I love shaving my balls with it. The Lone Mo at 3.0, they're great. They're great. But Manscape is dedicated to helping you take care of all your hair from butt to nut.

But now they released the Shears 2.0 nail kit. Listen, you guys know, you wearing sandals. Your feet are fucking disgusting. And I'll tell you what, I'm an immigrant. If you're an immigrant, do not wear sandals. Your feet are disgusting. I do not want to see immigrant feet that don't have cream. Nobody wants to see your fucking fungus toenail, all right?

I got a fungus toenail. I grind it once a month and I smell the dust. It's fucking horrible. But forget about all that. No more personal stuff. The shears is the perfect add-on to the lawnmour. Once you got your stinky fucking ball hands in all this, you got to make sure that your hands and your feet are as smooth as Uncle Joey's nutsack.

You got to trim your fingernails and you got to cut your cuticles. Why? Because when your finger back, somebody you could rip one of their fucking interior walls with your fucking loose nail you gotta clean your fingers and shit like that you gotta be you gotta take care of your hands what do women look at they look at your fingers to see if you manicure your fingers and how dirty your fingernails are they look at your teeth to see if you're a disgusting animal like me like if a woman looks at my teeth

she's like that motherfucker eats ass he's got that brown tint in his teeth anyway I'm talking about the shears 2.0 features a four-piece luxury nail kit with tempered stainless steel slash tip tweezers and rounded point scissors

and clippers and a medium-grit nail file. Perfect to bust out of any fucking prison. Now, a medium-grit nail file to round off the rough edges. That's what happens when you finger a chick, you slice a little monkey with your fingernail.

You don't want to slice no chick's monkey. That's a complete different charge That's a complete different episode of Law and Order Do me a favor while you're there Pick up the perfect package 3.0 and get your balls In order listen September's upon us You gotta stop wearing white

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And you take your shoes off You get those disgusting feet. Now what? You want to look good from Aito, and that's why fucking Manscape.com is here. So do me a favor. Get the Lomore 3.0, a waterproof, cordless body trimmer,

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And get 20% off, you bad motherfuckers. I want to thank my man, David. I want to thank the Christkiller, and I want to thank you motherfuckers for listening and for having our back. Don't forget the party's going on over at patreon. com slash joy. I'm trying my best.

And that's it and that's that. We got no tour dates. Is it Joey or Joey Diaz? Joey Diaz. Who the fuck knows? I don't give a fuck. Press whatever the fuck you want. in there, knock yourself out. I love you guys. Have a great weekend. We'll be back Monday morning.

Tip-top, Magoo. Avoid the fucking COVID, all right? Stay out of the way of crowds. I love you, motherfuckers. Stay black. Kick this fucking meal.