The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #817 - The CHURCH - Goodbye for now and a surprise guest

Episode Date: August 31, 2020

After a wonderful eight year run, The Church of What's Happening Now is taking a break. This is not goodbye. The Church is a family and what comes from this will be better than before. Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt get together for one more run in LA. Stay tuned for a surprise special guest at the end...trust me, it's worth it. Love you guys. Thank you for all of your love and support.  Love, Joey and Lee This podcast is brought to you by:   DraftKings - Download DraftKings Sportsbook now and use code CHURCH to get $1000 sign up bonus.    CBD Lion - For all of your CBD needs, from shatter to gummies, go to www.CBDLion.com and use code CHURCH for 20% off.                          Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout on your first order.      

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they got. And now that that's out of the way, welcome to the last church. Kick this fucking meal, Lee. Oh shit. It all starts fucking to that direction. No more fucking excuse me. This is the year of the fucking soldier. We're going in like fucking Marines.

You understand me? Welcome to church, motherfucker. I don't know where to start on this one. All I could say is that it's been a hell of a journey. Today is August 31st, 2000, and this podcast started September 2nd, 2012. That's wild. When we started this podcast, we had no high hopes or no, it wasn't that we were going to go to the top and beat up fucking Mark Matt.

It wasn't nothing about that stuff. We did it for an intention, and the intention was to let people know that you could fuck up and come back from the grave. And we went on there, and we used to start at 6 in the fucking morning. you know, and start and smoking edibles and smoking weed and doing edibles and we'd leave there at 9 fucking I was fucked up for the day, you know?

I had to cover the mixer with a tub but because your cats would pee on the mixer. Look, it was your office. We started in my fucking office then my wife came up pregnant. Then we moved to Tilly's office for a while.

That was fantastic. And then we went. We got thrown out of the air. Then where'd we go? We went to the office on fucking Blunt Street over there where they almost killed us. Right, with no AC and a black Christian church group that I thought we were smoking weed the entire time. And we were hitting the vapor pen. They were like knocking on the door and shit.

You'll see it on the sizzle real lead. Put together for you guys. We put a couple nice kids together for you guys. We just didn't leave you out in the cold. Dang. Then from there we went to the crazy office up next to the in and out up there. That was fucking nuts. That's where the rapists run.

and me came in and played the harmonica. We had the Pimp come in. Rudy, we had Stephen Bauer come in with a bottle of fucking 122 bottles of vodka. We got Angel Salazar doing bumps in there. I mean, that's what we did, the famous R.E. Acid podcast. You know, talk about a podcast that still people talk about. Four dudes, three dudes doing a hit of acid. Duncan sent me a picture in the middle of this Mexican guy dancing

with a pussy, he cut his dick off. I sent it to everybody. Only one person got mad at me, Joe Rogan. He's like, what the fuck is this shit? But it's been a journey. And the best part of this journey was getting to meet a lot of you people, from Jay Bichetti to Bob Lingus to Debra.

Fucking, Hubs is out of her fucking mind. You know, Cunningham, Scott. I mean, And this is the weirdest connection that we have. I mean, we call on a computer and we talk to one another and we care for one another. My man V up in fucking Toronto, young kid, we talk all the time. I mean, there's some solid good people on there. But listen, we're not going nowhere.

We're still going to be on. I got to shut Facebook off for two weeks. It's probably off right now. You're saying Joey's not returning my things. No, man. I had to shut it off. because on my iPad, I only have Twitter and Patreon. I'm going to focus on that one in Jersey waiting to move into the house,

which I should be moving into tomorrow right now. Congratulations. Yeah, and I'm pretty happy about that. But this has been a very great journey, and it's been great sitting here next to Lee, watching him grow in more ways than one, from the fruit juice diet to the many diets. It's the least I had.

It has been an honor because I tell you what, Lee is a kid that he's nothing but heart, man. We put him through hell to this podcast. He was eating those stuff. I mean, this kid never did nothing. He never did nothing. He never even snorted the chick's fart. And we got him in here eating 2,000 milligrams

and fucking eating Jehovah Witness bills and whatnot. So he got banned from Vegas. Listen, him and the singer are, Motley group, a band from Vegas. That's how high level Lee is. So when you think of Lee, Lee is pretty fucking high level. He took a lot of bullets for this podcast,

and he really made it complete. It was a it was a yin and yang type situation. Lee's naivety, you know, Lee's being naive and me being the fucking street fucking priest

that I am, it really led to a great combination. And yeah, we had some bumps and bumps, but we never gave up. You know, even when I read, you know, bad comments from you guys and stuff, I knew that you weren't being, I knew that you weren't being scumbags. You were being honest. So we upped our game along the way. We dropped off the shotouts.

We lightened up on the weed and the edibles. We tried to give you the best experience that we could give you. I mean, we were getting up at 6 in the morning. We were basically making $100 a period. piece from one sponsor. We were doing it out of a lot of for you guys that we found, you know. I found the

solace here. I found peace here, you know, and I got that same piece on Patreon now because we got rid of a lot of those knuckleheads. It's very easy to do what you do, you know. Once it becomes a job, and that's what happened to here, guys.

I was fine, man. I was about to sell cars. I hooked him Felicia. We started doing a podcast. I hooked him Lee and started doing the podcast. And you really have got to be careful what you wish for because it blew up from all different angles. You know, the road, you guys supported me on the road. We were doing theater tours.

And I can't lie to you. I can't lie to you. I kept it straight in front of you guys. But I was very overwhelmed. You know, why would somebody want to take a picture with somebody who kidnapped somebody? That was always what was on my mind after shows. and you guys have come up to me and want to take a picture

I'm like, would you take a picture with a fucking conveying? You know, but all these things were done through this microphone. You guys picked up

certain things through this microphone. I picked up things from you from this microphone. I mean, dear friends, we have a buddy down in Austin

with the rock and roll Bobby Sharon. You know, you got Greg and Lynn up in Seattle. I mean, we have dear friends that we've made.

I don't know what happened to Dante Gazzini. He stopped writing letters. Fuck him. He didn't know. I was getting 10 letters a week. What are you doing? What am I in prison?

Dante? I'm going to read a letter every fucking week. He hunted me down, but he's a good man. He had a good heart. He had a good heart. We got out of fucking resident Armenian, Bergey, who was here last week. I threw him a fucking notebook. And I'm going to be sending out some stuff to Scott and Deborah and Bill.

I mean, Bob and Jay. And we found some nice little relics here. but it was, it has been just an experience, you know. I was an open micer in comedy, and I was an open micer in the podcast game. And you guys molded me into being a good podcaster, which meant a lot to me. You know, I didn't want to come here,

and in Jimmy Schubert's words, give you a short shrift. That was never my intention. I came out here, and I poured my heart to you, And I told you the wrongs I had done. And I told them to you in a colorful way so they wouldn't hit you as hard. But no matter what you say, the wrongs had been done. And by me coming out here, you guys always say to me, hey, you helped me out of a weird situation. I was doing heroin.

I was doing coke. Yeah, well, you guys helped me out because you helped me get my skeletons out of my closet. And that's big when you have that much stress. I had that much trust in you guys. I had that much trust in you, and I loved you that much, and I wanted you to know who the fuck I was from A to Z. See, most people in this town, they don't really want you to know who they are. They want you to know who they are for the hour that they're on the thing,

and then they don't really let you know who they are. I let you know who I was. I let you know who you were in business with. We weren't in business. We had a mutual understanding. I would put two podcasts out a week, and you would listen to two podcasts out a week. Were they all good and funny podcasts? Nah. Were they tremendous podcasts? Not really.

But I always gave you something to take from that. There was one thing you took from each podcast, whether it was to shine your shoes before an audition. You know, there's always something. I'm the master of little fucking things, writing letters to a judge, to writing letters. Throw people off. You know what I found? really weird out of this situation I'm getting hit by people

in New York and I don't even know to do shows to do podcasts you know welcome me first did you never sell a nickel bag before you fucking idiots welcome me first then invite me on to your show we're living in just weird times

but we kept it solid for you we kept it as real as we could for you you know we did a lot of drugs on the show You know, I ain't going to lie to him. That fucking idiot in Chicago. He's eating Xanax. You should have come on the show a couple nights.

And that poor bastard's got COVID. Fuck him. Him and his girlfriend could fucking die. And people are looking for him anyway. I had a bad room about that dude in Chicago. So if you know him, tell him to fucking leave town because the fucking guy, Gini brothers are looking for him. That's the word on the street. He insulted somebody wrong.

Not me. He insulted everybody. He insulted somebody wrong. And it doesn't. I never understand. understood what the fuck the whole thing was about. And for the people who went on board with them, I don't know what you're thinking. You know, you have to restructure your heart.

You got to go talk to a priest. I think that's what really, you were just talking about how you told all your negative stories. But for the most part, this entire podcast was very positive. And that's why I think we have so many great people around us who listened to it and came on. because yeah, you told shitty stories or city parts of your life but there's always a meaning behind it or a lesson or a reason

where we weren't just telling it to get laughs. No, no. I wanted to come by A to Z. I had done some stuff. You know, right now, listen, man, the toughest thing out of this move is I won't see Lee for a while and my uncle.

You know, I had a semi-book deal with Audible. a tape surfaced to me saying something about 23 years ago that had no merit to it they tried to throw

which water on it they couldn't come up with nothing you know I haven't done anything since night I haven't been a freak since 1999 you know what I'm saying

so it's tough 20 years those people need remember what the fuck who is the fuck but I was here for you like

I I told my stories. I wanted to let you know the animal you were dealing with. And then you guys came through for me when that shit happened. You told everybody to go fuck themselves that you've listened to the stories and you've heard the stories and you know that that wasn't me at all for them to attack us. And I went nowhere and, you know, whatever.

I don't give a fuck. I'm not mad anybody. I'm not mad at anybody who was involved or pointed fingers. In fact, I pray for them. I pray for them and I learned a big lesson from it. But now, with the podcast, this really blew my mind. These last three weeks, knowing that I've had to close this podcast, let me know how important you guys were to me. And again, some guys are going to abandon me last night on Patreon, I'm not going to abandon you at all.

I'm going to shoot some videos out the next couple weeks. Let me move. Let me look at my basement. Let me figure it out. we can't come back with the same fucking stories. I can't do it. So I got to force my hand and come up with something different. I have a few ideas, but I really don't.

Right now my main concern is to move my family back, get them into the house, get her into school, do my couple days of shooting on the Sopranos, and then I'm back with you guys in some form of podcast or whatever. I don't know what I'm going to do yet. I don't know why my head is at. And that's it and that's that, man. It's been a fucking journey and a half, you know.

The comedy journey was great. You know, sleeping on Ralphie's floor, who was on this podcast many a time. I saw him rise to great things. I saw Josh Wolf rise to great things. I saw Rogan rise. I saw Tom Segura rise. I saw Sebastian Monascalko rise.

and I also saw myself rise. Don't ask me how I did it. I put my pants on the moon like at a time like you guys, but it happened. And it was because of you guys and the support, you know. So that's it and that's that. I wanted to keep the fucking short. No drama with you motherfuckers.

We had a great time. And guess what? We're going to take a little breathing, and we're going to come back and do something else. And then Lee and I'll do something fucking on Zoom. Once a month, we lot each other on fire, we throw grenades with each other. He's going to throw a picture of me with him in the car, and I'm taking his picture, so when we do the Zoom, we're reaching the room. So at least we all feel it.

It'll be free, no charge, you know, we'll do it on the fucking arm. It's on the arm, you know, just to keep you guys, just to let you know we didn't forget about it. And you could check up on Lee's progress and what he's up and whatnot. It was really great. The music, the conversations. the going back and forth with you guys, to go into the different cities two and three times and seeing you at the shows.

It was something that I never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever imagined, you know. Again, if you learned anything from this story, remember that. One, be careful what you wish for, because you might just get it. And two, but if you fucking work hard, man, and you're really passionate. about something you love. If you're fucking passion.

Guys, I was sitting there the other day and I can't tell you how much fun I was having in this town from 97 to about 2005. Once I saw behind the curtain with the longest yard, it kind of jaded me a little bit. I had no way to move up doing comedy. It fucked me up. But just the chance for me to get on that set

for 17 weeks meant the world to me. You have no idea how, I bamboozled a bunch of cast and directors and shit into putting me all their movies. You know, next time you're bored, look up Joey Diaz, IMDB, and look at all those TV shows and all those movies. I tricked a lot of fucking people, okay? A lot of people, I don't know what, talent, what would I play the flute?

I don't know nothing. So I had a great run. Sag is fucking us now. They're taking away our insurance and all this shit. I don't even give a fuck. I expected it from SAG. That's a complete different story. That's got nothing to do with you guys.

But I was an open micer in comedy, and it was a struggle. And I was an open micer in podcasting. And it was a struggle. But I got my legs out from under me, and we ended up a top fucking 40 podcast. And we were there in the top 40 in the comedy realm every fucking goddamn week. And that wasn't, that was partly us. but that was also partly because of you guys. And I want to thank you.

I want to thank you for taking time out of your busy day on Monday and Wednesday. I knew that. I knew that if I was going to take an hour from you, I had to give you an hour of something. And a lot of you have taken it. I've gotten a lot of emails lately. And a lot of years didn't get it. But mostly a lot of years,

one of these conversations sparks and curiosity in your lives. And you change a portion of your life. and that means the world to me, because I'd love to tell you how I changed my life from prison to getting here. I just don't know what it was. It was really my love for comedy. My love for comedy

and the love to pay back my friends for the love they had given me growing up was my motivator. I didn't want my friends to say, ah, he went out to California and failed like anybody else. You know what? I didn't turn out Dave Chappelle,

but I never turned, I never came out here at that. be Dave Chappelle. I just came out here to become a man through comedy, and that's exactly what I became. So I want to thank you for checking me because you had to make me.

You just can't talk to talk. You guys made me walk to walk. Today I felt like that on the antibiotics, but I still had to go lift weights. And she asked me at one point, do you want to stop? And I kept lifting for you people to let you know that, you know, you're doing your work and I'm doing mine, and together we're going to end up in a great realm.

Lee, I don't know if you want to say anything to these fucking people, but you just want to sit there in your little THC heaven now. No, it's a... All I can say is thank you. I've... To Joey, I said this to him, and it's surprisingly one of his favorite things. It's true. I've been here for a decade, and the most... honorable and respectful person that I worked with

is a dude who went to prison for rob for kidnapping a dude with a machine gun he's always been very fair with me and made me feel like part of your family so thank you and uh I just just looking back at it's so cool

like this is the cool this is definitely the coolest I'll ever be I don't know what it's going to happen next and hopefully I'll have a great life you're going to have a great life you're going to take care of yourself and you're going to learn from this experience and in three months you're going to call me

and hopefully by then the corona will be gone and all this bullshit and we could do something I'm really, really going to miss you. My wife and I discussed that you had become like a stepson to us so we're really, really going to miss you. We hope we get to say goodbye to you

before you leave on Sunday. And before I cry on camera, let me do a quick edible. Before I cry on camera, I want to leave you guys as a gift. The Pauli Shore podcast. I love you guys.

This was a treat. We're going to save this for someday. Now you're going to get to see it. Live and in fucking color. The missing Paulie Shore podcast. which we wouldn't put up. We promised them, but now all bets are off.

COVID means fuck the pinky fucking thing. All bets are off. I love you guys. Watch this. We're going to come back, read the ads, give you a formal goodbye, and enjoy this. Kick this meal, week. What's happened?

Nothing. Thanks for having. Welcome, Paulie Shaw, my main man, Lisa Ayat, the Jewish tank of debt. And my main man showing up tonight, Paulie Shaw. What's up, my brother? always a pleasure to see you your hand's pretty sweaty bro oh my god you're in the fucking no this is good you got it you know you got to stay psyched up yeah it's all about you got to be fucking uh energetic first of all first of all yes before we get started i don't want to like

uh i don't want to uh what's the word i don't want to uh to contort i don't want to you know what i don't want to do any bonn't listen no i don't want to direct this this interview this interview but before you direct me because this is your thing on me I want to congratulate you for all your success thank you and I say that from the bottom of my heart I know you do because I've seen you from the beginning from the beginning from the beginning and I can see that Joe helped you out a lot and in the store and everyone everyone and I know you're wrapped not I don't say wrapped up but you're in your you're happening now this is good but before you

weren't no before you weren't but I was on my way because yeah But now you are, and it's fucking awesome. Yes. And that's why when I see you, I'm so happy for you. When congratulations. Thank you, brother. Yeah, bro, for sure. When we spoke, you said something to me that really put me over the top on the phone.

You didn't know it. You said something, and you said, Mom. You know, and I got off the phone, and I thought about what you had said something, mom. And I thought about your mom for a long time that weekend for a couple of days, you know, because she hasn't been at the store for a few years. Yeah. So it's like out of mind. Were you going to play the sad music now, bro?

No, no, no, no, no, no. Is he going to play? No, no, no, no, but it's funny. Sweating fucking meatball in the corner. Play the sad fucking... No, there's no, there's no. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

But no, I'm kidding. But no, no, no. I'm crazy. I know. No, no, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no, not at all. This is happy story, I'm telling you.

Okay. I got locked up, Pauley. I got locked up. I went to prison. I came out. I'm in a fucking halfway house. and you're on MTV, okay? And somewhere along the line,

I watched Andrew, and I decide, I don't know nothing about nothing. I decide I want to try comedy. And you didn't watch, I wasn't the one that motivated you with the fuck. Andrew. I thought you just, just a bunch of people.

He just said Andrew motivated. No, no, no, no. I saw you. Andrew, Andrew, you, Andrew, just a bunch of guys. Knessen, you know, that I liked. And Richard Pryor, you know, I liked since I was a kid.

And then I got the ball, I got nerves, and I went up on stage. And I went up the first time at Ed Nichols Place. This is East Coast? This is 1991, Denver, Colorado. I got up on stage, Ed Nichols sees me. Who's Nickel? Ed Nichols is one of the owners of the comedy works at the time. Okay.

On old school comic with George McKelvey and all those guys. I come back like two weeks later, I get on stage again. And he goes, you know what, man, your material sucks, but your presence is really, really good. And he goes, has Mitzie Shore ever seen you? Right? So that was the first plan, okay? Now, I'm watching you guys.

I don't know nothing about the comedy store. I know nothing that it exists. I know nothing. And then there's a contest at the Comedy Works, and I come in second. But the next day, it's discovered that the guy that won first prize stole the jokes from Seinfeld. Oh, wow. So I automatically become the first prize winner. And the first prize is to perform for Mitzie Schwarz.

sure at the comedy store on a Sunday night a hotel room at the high at the da-da-da-da-da-da three weeks after that I get thrown out of the comedy works so the prize goes away so I'm like I'm never going to get to meet this Mitzie here everybody tells me about and this went on for years Steve Sheripper

pulled me aside and he goes to Mitchie Shore Senior Steve McGraw all these comedy. Yeah but how long were you doing stand-up? A year a year and people come up. So you started like, how old are you now? 54. So 54, so you haven't been doing it. You're like Kirk Fox.

I started when I was 32 or something like that. Yeah, that's pretty late, yeah. 30, 28. Yeah, you're like Dean Del Rey. Yeah, 28. Dean Del Rey started late. No, Dean Dalry started late. I started in 91.

I started 91. That's when you started. That's when you started. That's what you started. It started late. So. Stop fucking looking at me with that. You're freaking me out.

I'm sorry. Throughout this whole fucking time. You know what I'm saying this fucking guy. No, throughout this whole time, you know, then I meet Angel Salazar. And then I meet all these comics. Jack Perd. And they're like, is Mitzie Shaw Senior. And at that time, I didn't live in L.A.

And I'm like, first off, I'm not going to move to L.A. to chase this fucking woman. And number two, I'm not good enough to walk into the fucking store. So that was the end of that. Like, by this time, I had read the Kenneson book in 96, and I had gotten a little bit more. I knew about the Kenneson, and I know about the Comedy Stone. I got your history and Andrew's history and Richard Pryor's history.

And this, you know, when you're an open mic and you don't live in California, the grand prize is the comedy store Imprable Laugh Factory When you're traveling on the road What's the order though? What's the best? It's the comedy store improv and love What's the best one?

Well that was always for me People always pointed me To the comedy store So for me it was going to be the comedy store I got into town on a Monday at 6 o'clock And I was at the comedy store at 9 o'clock And wheels got me up at like midnight Don Barris was hosting

It was an open mic on a Monday night, and wheels got me up. And then I called Scott Day. Doug Stanhope recommended me. Few other people. And then Scott Day called me when they said, listen, you got to wait six months. It's a six month. Like, okay. After she saw you?

No, I never seen Mincy Shore. Never saw. I saw pictures in books and old magazines and shit like that. And then I got a call from Scott at 6 o'clock on a Friday. And he goes, listen, two people fell out. If you're available, you're there. I got here January 29th, and I became a regular February 19th. That's how fast it was.

It was three weeks. Three weeks, and I was a regular. There was no comeback in three weeks. I went up there. I walked off. She goes, can you do three minutes? I said, yeah, she goes, come back next week and do ten. I did ten, and that was it.

I came back. She gave me a spot on Monday. I got bumped by Eddie Griffin. I didn't quit. He did four hours. studying quit and I'm happy I never fucking quit. And then, so it was kind of weird. My mother died in an early age.

And when I got to the store, she used to call me fat baby. But the beauty is, my mom called you fat baby. She wouldn't even call me it to my face. She put it on the fucking lineup. So I have a bunch of lineups at the house. Oh, that's cool. That's a fat baby on, like old lineups from the main room that say, you know, Paul Mooney, fat baby.

So it's just kind of weird. For me, it's hard to talk about it because it's very personal for me. Do you understand? The store or everything? Okay. You know, I mean, the whole thing, mom being sick is a fucking nightmare. It's a fucking nightmare. And it's been really hard and I don't like to really talk about it.

You know what I mean? It's like, it's like, I'm very sensitive about it. She's been sick and everyone's looking at the store like it's going so great. It's like my mom's there just because she's physically not there. She's watching all of us. Do you understand? Yes. And she put her.

too. And she put her wand on that place, on that building, and it's just this circular fun energy, you know, now that there's great management in there, and it's stepped up to the, you know, 21st century or whatever, and everyone's got great social media and everyone's loving, you know, everyone's kind of very, everyone's hugging each other. And, and, uh, and that's her, you know, and it's sad that she can't see it, you know? Like, that's like, she created that college environment, you know? Everyone, that's how it's always been. failure because I stayed in college for 20 years, Doug. Yeah, but you know what I'm saying. I know what you said.

I mean, it's a good feeling. Fucking years. I'm 54 years old and I've been at the store for 20 years as a regular. And let me tell you something, when I got to this town, I never thought nothing was going to amount to nothing. I thought I'd be an extra once or twice and I'd quit after six years and just moved to New York and sell coke or something. It was the store that really kept me here because every time I fell down, Every time I didn't go to Montreal, every time I didn't get that, it didn't really matter.

It didn't matter. I'm part of the fucking Marines of comedy. We're the ones that come in when everybody else fails. They drop us out of an helicopter at fucking three in the morning. And if you think I'm... And if you think I'm fucking lying to you... Did you see what we're fucking talking about? This is...

I'm sorry. Stop Lee, motherfucker. This is how I felt. You had Doug Herzog right there and you fucking dropped the ball. I dropped the ball. This is how I felt since day one. Anytime I have a problem in an audition, or any time I have a problem with people,

I go, it doesn't really matter. Doesn't really matter because I'm Marine. Doesn't really matter. When everybody else fails in comedy and all this shit, look at all the people. You know, dude, you got to give yourself a little bit more credit. Number one, at the end of the day, you're talented. Number two, you work hard and you're good at what you do.

so you were you were going to hit whether it was the store or whether it was you know acting or whatever it's like you're a talented dude like yeah talent no dude talent fucking it lasts a lot of people have talent here the store yeah but i'm just saying training me military stuff like mentally but you're also talented i know tons of people that have said they've gone to the store they did a spot and they can never go back there it was too dark or it was the schedule was running late or You know, I've never felt that way about the store. When I walked into the store, I was at home. And when I walked in the store, it wasn't the store that is today,

Pauli, sure. It was completely fucking different. Tuesday nights had three people in the original room. Wednesdays, you had 55. Thursdays, if you had 100, you were like, Jesus fucking Christ. They weren't having six fucking shows a night there when I first started. They barely having two. They were barely having the main room in the original room.

I was there. And it's really just that's what it's done to me. Anytime my confidence got low, I go, you know what, let me tell you something, bitch. You try follow. Why are you laughing? Because he knows. He knows my attitude about it.

That anytime anybody's giving me all right time, I said, listen, let me explain some to you. I had to follow Paul Mooney. I thought you were going to say, Polly sure. What the fuck, Lee? That's where I thought I was going to. I'm sorry, I'm on your son, Paula. I had no idea.

I had to follow Paul Mooney for a fucking year and a half at midnight. I remember. And he'd walk off stage and there'd be six people left in the fucking room. And that's how you'd be learning how to become a comic. And that's the magic of your mother. She knew. When you went to your

mother and I said, don't ever put me in the fucking main room again, man. That place blows. Just keep me in the original room next Friday and Saturday. I was in the main room following Dom Herrera. She knew I hated following Domerera. She didn't give a Frenchman's fuck. She put me in the main room to... I remember driving down there

going, why am I going down there? Why am I going down there? Why would she do this to me to be who I am today? To put you through it, yeah. To put me fucking through it. You're right. She put her wand on that place. You're very white, right? And people walk in there, they get touched by her.

Yeah. Everybody who's in there now. Yeah, that's why I'm saying. Yeah, it would be there out. People have to give a fucking everything. They, trust me, I love the staff. I love what's going on. It's amazing.

But they wouldn't, it's not, they wouldn't be able to do it if it wasn't for her and what she did. How many years is that place? But do you understand what I'm saying? Fuck yeah. I mean, fuck yeah. She's the one that kicked the fucking door down. Yeah.

And taught everybody else how to run the fucking guy. Exactly. And she always said, she just says, don't fuck with anything. That's all she said to me. Just leave it. Leave it alone. How did we get food at the store? That was her number one no-no.

I think it was my brother and Dean. They can't eat. They can't laugh if they're eating. Yeah, she probably wouldn't want food, but whatever. It's not like a big meal thing. No, it's an amazing. amazing place, man. It's who I am. That's, when they bury me, I have a uniform on,

and there'll be a stick around the side that said, Comedy Storm Marine. What do you want to do, bitch? What do you want to do, bitch? What are you doing to him, Lee? You're massaging his leg or something? You know he's got shorts on the chest. He doesn't like when people rub his legs. What are you doing, Lee? His legs are, I can't. I can't help it. I can be, right? Look at those calves.

Dude, are you fucking, what the fuck, Lee? How old were you the first time you walked in there? You grew up in there, pretty much. Well, she started in 72, 1972. So I was four. I got pictures. I mean, I was there. That's where I've been my whole life, yeah.

And at that time, she had that one in Westwood. Like, I never went to Westwood or nothing like that. No, it was, it was, she had the, the Westwood wasn't, it was her and my dad at the store on sunset. The Westwood one didn't. start for a while. At the beginning, who was there?

This is getting intense, bro. It is getting intense. Get close to the mic. Get close to the mic. And you'll be away from him. He won't touch your leg. If you get close to the mic. It's getting so intense, dude. I didn't know this is like my Barbara Walters comedy store. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. Really?

You want to talk about all that shit? We throw about down about anything. Yeah. Well, okay. I mean, I don't want to talk about the whole time. Yeah. No, you know, you'll tell me shit about shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll get into it. She started in 72 with him and then they got the divorce she took it over he took off and she started you know and then it all hit right then and who was down there at that time paula um well when my dad was

reds red fox pat mccormick um lenny schultz was there uh who else was there fuck did i don't know you gave me one of those things what jesus christ lenny schultz yeah the best he was my favorite he was my favorite yeah I just talked to him like uh what was it uh I don't know like a couple months ago where is he Florida and he's Danny Johnson Gary Mule dear who else Tim Thomerson Sandra Bernhardt uh obviously Robin oops sorry um Craig T Nelson was there and you were going to fucking school like a regular fucking kid and seeing this shit in the afternoon

and the night, all these people. The way it worked is that I'll tell you how it worked. My brother, Peter, he went to Fairfax on, what is it, Hollywood? Hollywood. Yeah, he went to Fairfax

and Hollywood. Dude, those fucking things you gave me are, I can't speak with them. I told you. It's tremendous. I did like barely any. I did a half of one. You want another one? No. I don't. I can't fucking speak. That's good. I'm gonna fucking seriously, dude.

No. I saved your life, Paul. You were gonna take a whole purple one. That's true. I did. He looks out. He looks out for the fucking tribe. So. They have to make a yellow one, like a gold, Jewish star. Oh, please. So are we talking about my bar mitzvah?

What are we talking about? Are we talking about my bar mitzvah last? Oh, no. My brother, Peter, he got robbed at Fairfax High, and he went and complained to my mom. And then she said she's going to get a house in Beverly Hills because our house on Doheny was not in Beverly Hills. It was in West Hollywood Hills. So in order for us to go to Beverly Hills school, she had to physically buy a house in Beverly Hills.

So that's kind of how it was. So then we would go to like a Beverly Hills school because back in the 80s, like people were getting busts in and shit. You know what I mean? It was like more rough. at the schools at like Fairfax in a Hollywood high yeah we got to do this again when I haven't done one of those things

no you always got to do one of these things oh I don't have to do shit I can't concentrate this is the food do lounge I know it's like how old are you the first time you got on stage dog oh my god the first time was Argus in La Jolla like in the 70s

so how old were you about it? I don't know it's like this Really? Yeah. Argus was, he used to do this thing called, what was it, Poo Boy here at the Crosby Ranch. We love to pick oranges. Shame we can't pick our children. Remember? Yeah.

Pooh, boy. Sorry here. We just love to pick oranges. Shame we can't pick our children. Look at Nathaniel boy here. Nathaniel boy. Come up here. And then he brought me up to the mic.

Say something. You say something. And I go on the mic. I say, suck my dick. I said everyone went quiet. because they thought that maybe I said that. They said for me to, do you understand what I'm saying? Right.

Yeah, yeah. But they didn't. That's why I can't finish the sentence because of those things. What things? The fucking starfish you gave me. The stars of death. Yeah. Those aren't cool.

You want the other half? No. Why not? Because I can't finish the sentence. They're like therapy. You save a bucket for half if you take one of those. You just go home and talk to yourself. No, I'd just like to be more lucid.

All right. You know what I mean? I figured I'd loosen you up a little bit. I don't need that shit to be loosened. It fucks me up. You never went to college. Now you're fucking laughing at me. No, not at you.

I would never laugh. It's just a random question. You never went to college? A lot of people never went to college. No, here's what the best was. You ready for this? Go ahead. He's like, he's like, so in 12th grade, see, this why I can't finish.

my sentence. It's all right. Don't know. I got you. I got you. I got you. We're in the 12th grade. Yeah, it's fucking hot in here on top of that shit. No, it's not hot. It's all your mind. No. Okay. So 12th grade, everyone started going to college, right? Or no, getting ready to go to college. We're in 12th grade, getting ready to go to college.

I need a break, too. Open that door. Open that. Get some fresh air. Get some air in here. It's hilarious. Three down. God. We got a home Benjamin Saratia. And now Paulie Shaw.

It never ends people. Now you can't get out. Here we go. Look at you came in here. It's got it. It's fresh air. It's too. It's the air conditioner in this place.

It is on. It's on. It's on. It's on, yeah. It's just those stars. You got to drink some water and take the other half. No, take the other half. You'll be fine.

Trust me. hilariously said so 12th grade okay getting ready to go to college I'm trying to help I'm just I remember that part now I just have the form of sentence all right so 12th grade everyone started well first of all repeat the fucking question I don't know what the fucking question what you bother me you never went to college no you never went to college yeah I went to MTV college that's what it was

that's what it was yeah so it was basically when everyone was you have to invite me back at a normal time when I'm not done. Can I come back normal? Yeah, whatever. Next week. Sure,

next week. Yeah, okay. Tomorrow, manana. Oh, my God. See what MTV college.

That's why. Yeah, so I was on MTV while everyone else was in college. That's kind of the timing. How many years? did you work from TV? 90s. Well, I was on every day, like, throughout the whole time. See, they're trying to get us, dude.

What was that? That was some fireworks. Well, all right. That's all right. That's fine. Chinese people. Yeah, it's fine. I was on there from 90 to 96. Jesus Christ.

Yeah. But then there was times after that, too, doing different things. They paid for the house. Excuse me? They paid for the house. They paid for the house? Sure. Which house?

Who knows? You want them for six fucking years? You had to make a couple dollars. I'm just saying you paid for the first house. It's all right. It's going to be all right. At least you're not on the couch. Most people just lay down.

Really? Yeah, they just go horizontal and say, wake me up when it's over. It's like Alice Cooper. Welcome to my nightmare. You want the other half? I'm good. All right.

You want to do them? Let's see a couple more of the other respects. It's Saturday night It's an Indian... Sunday night, you're just in... Who gives a fuck? I don't know if we should be taking anymore.

Why? Yeah, definitely not. What's the problem? You're fine. You don't want no more. You don't need no more. He's just relaxing right now, aren't you? It's a beautiful thing, see?

You come on. You can't go nowhere. You can't drive. I'm not trying to go anywhere. I'm good. You can sit, tell us stories, whatever you like.

I just can't form a sentence. Sure you can. I can barely. I could barely. Try to ask me again. Was it, like, crazy? I don't know your story, Polly, really. What was it like touring in the 80s and 90s?

You got to remember one thing, Pauli. He's 28. 60% of the people listen to this show don't, don't know. They don't know. They don't remember the real MTV. They don't know that it was 24-hour music and that you were the fucking guy

that led him into fucking the 90s. They don't know. They don't know the old. They know, the only thing they know on MTV is 16-year-olds getting pregnant. Right, yeah. And something else. They don't know him. And the generation before his knows, ah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,

those two guys that used to giggle. Beavis and Butthead. Before Beavis and Butthead, it was fucking Pauly Shore, live. No bullshit. That's what a lot of these people don't understand. You know, everybody who comes on. It's pretty intense. Yeah, every two or three people who come on this podcast, the comedy store always comes up.

Because they're comics that perform there, and we have our love for it. You know, it's just really weird to have you on here. And people want to know, you were there the first couple of years. You were there the formative years. You were there with, I mean, it's been a fucking, I asked you when you came in, where's the fucking book? You know, where's the fucking book of, you know, I would write like an erosmith type book, your eyes, and then get Argus to write two chapters of what he saw,

and Andrew Wright would be fucking brilliant. You know, that's the fucking place, man. I mean, it was for me. I understand. I didn't go there for seven years for personal fucking reasons. I never got banned or nothing. I just didn't get along with the guy that was there, and I didn't want to disrespect Mitchie Sean

and throw somebody out of a fucking window there. So I figured I might as well stay out of the place. And then when I was watching being there with Peter Sellers and God spoke to me and said, you got to go home, son. And I went home and everything changed that thing. You know what I'm saying? You can do comedy anywhere else. Nothing sharpens your skills at that fucking comedy store.

I only go down there twice a week now. You know that, Paul, right? That's my own personal band. Twice a week at the comedy store because I'm too fucking old. I don't want to be walking online like the old man. No, you have a kid. No, no, not because of the fucking kid. I'm on the road.

I do the podcast two nights a week. You know what I'm saying? You got to switch it up. It's fucking Fourth of July week. It's red, white, and blue. It's over four. Fourth of July. Yeah, that's why we got some over. We got some nice little... Look, it's stuck to your hand.

Dude, how have you eaten like 20 of those? Because we don't give a fuck. It's the Fourth of July. Oh, soul. Oh, my God. Where did it go? Oh, there it is. You're going to do that? He has no choice. It's Sunday night.

That's hilarious. This is what we do here. This is what we don't want on the floor. Don't worry about nothing. Leave it there. He has to get it. You throw them. That's like when I throw a frisbee, it just goes like in any direction. And what's going?

Why are they so sticky? Stop throwing. Because they're icky. It's over there. It's right in that. It got stuck to my computer. Perfect. That's even better.

You won't taste it going down. Oh, this is a bite out of it. This is... You guys want me to stay. I'm confused. Yeah, I want you to say. I don't think you want me to stay. I don't want you to go anywhere.

We love you. But just talk to the mic so the people at home can hear you. There you go, you all. Look at the fucking... You want us to get your pizza or anything? No. You want to eat the other half? I'm good.

You should eat the other half. You just got to ask me questions, bro. Stop fucking pushing your drugs on me. I'm not pushing drugs on you. I just want you to be comfortable. Yeah, it is. Those are drugs. Listen.

And I'm right here, and you're pushing them on me. You've been on all those big-time shows. They don't offer you nothing to relax. They don't give you a Xanax. I'm giving you a star death to make you relax. Don't, look at this. Oh, it's like liquid all right. Look at this poor bastard.

Oh, my God. He's over there. People getting shit. Oh, God. That was like liquid. Why is it? It tastes good, right? I'm going to eat like 10 more of those blue ones.

Stop me me. Did you eat both of them? You know my friends doing this weekend? Let me fucking speak for a second. What are your friends doing this weekend? Fuck, Lee. Listen to me. Listen to me, you fucking cock sucker.

What are they doing? No, no, it's good. It's good. No, he's doing the atahuasca. Or ayahuasca. You know what that is? Yes. Have you done that?

No. I heard that's fucking gnarly, dude. So what does it do to you? Talk to me. Break it down. Break it down. So you have to first of all not drink or eat anything, any alcohol or any sugars and stuff like that for like a week or two?

What, did I tell the story you turn away? Well, I'm getting water for it. But you got to concentrate if I'm fucking speaking to you, bro. Do you see how he pushed? No, no, no. I couldn't see anything. I'm very sorry.

I'm very sorry. I just want to try to run and get water. Go ahead. You're heckler, bro. Right? He's heckling me. I would never, I would never let anyone heckle him the bouncer. I'm also the bouncer.

Oh, boy. Go ahead. So, you're not supposed to. to eat or drink anything leading up to it. And then you go out there and you fucking do this peyote type shit. It's like tea or some shit, right? And then you just start fucking freaking out, dude, for like, I don't know a while, you know. And where do you have to go?

And then you're like, no, you just like, I don't know, you cry. Is he a San Diego? Yeah, it's all over. Yeah, I mean, my friend did it upstate New York. Did upstate New York and he also, and then he did it here too. Well, look, I can save you the plane for it. You can do it right here in the voodoo lounge. I'll give you three of those stars.

You'll start sweating the freaking-hap-a-half-star. Tomorrow morning, you'll wake up, you'll be a fucking new man. This is how I cope through life. I eat these at night. I wake up tomorrow morning. The tape starts all over again. You know what I'm saying? If you have a bad day, you eat ten more fucking stars.

Why are you getting nervous? There's nothing to be nervous. There's nothing to be nervous. No, because my car's out there in the parking meter. That's fine. I didn't put enough things in. There's no meter. There's no meter.

There's no meeting. Sunday. It's the Lord's Day. It's the fucking Lord's Day. Relax. You're gonna put my own trick. I'm kidding. I'm fucking around. Now, where's Paulie Shaw today?

What's Paulie Shore doing today? What's he about? I can do. Paulie Shore was a... A lot of questions. Paulie Shaw was a fucking man of many women in the old days. I used to go up there. You'd be up there with Tommy Lee, a couple broads hanging out.

Where's fucking... Where's fucking... Where's fucking... Paulie Shaw today? Is he married? Do you have a wife, a girlfriend? What's going on with you? I go to the Korean.

I can try to say this without laughing. I go to the Korean bathhouse a lot. Okay. And what's it? You go down there with Bobby Lee? He shows you around. What happened? I don't know.

Since when do you fucking hang out with Koreans? I don't fucking know. You ask me, what the fuck is Polly Shore today? I'm trying to tell you. And you start laughing at my first fucking answer. No, but how did you get to do it into Korean fucking bathhouse? Yeah, Bobby Lee. And what do they do?

I used to go to the Russian bathhouse. And how they pull you over from the Russians? Well, first of all, I'm obsessed with Asians. Okay. So you ask me more about me. Okay. I love Asians. I love...

There's their fucking shit. You said that's the Philippines, bro. They're coming to get us. Don't spit up on me, man. So is the Korean bathhouse, Seth? I'm not telling you an exact location. All right. Because I don't want...

Your callers or listeners or people to come and see me naked with Asian guys. What happens in that? Well, you go in. So I walk in. I actually have a membership. Okay. So I bought it for the whole year. So I don't have to pay, right?

So I go in, I give it to the lady. And the second I see her, I say sonah, sonah, sonna. And she just looks like she wants to kill me. Sonah, sonah, right? And I go, ooze, ooh. And then she gives me my key. I always say two, four, six, or eight, because those are the top ones.

I don't know. I put down below. Because you got these Asian dudes fucking penises and shit. You know what I mean? So you go to the sauna by yourself? Always. Sometimes I see Bobby Lee there, though. No, you don't.

I swear I'm my mom, really. Yeah. And I see him. He walks in. And I see him. And I go, I go Chinese. that loud, like in front of all these Asians. Tides!

They all look around, yeah. It's the best. After the sauna, what do they do you? Do they rub you down? Do they give you a facial? Do they rub your feet? If you want, you can get a scrub. Okay. You know, an Asian dude scrubs all the dead skin off you.

Okay. Or you go upstairs and you get a real massage, not a jerk off massage. Like, they have the pole and the fucking, you know what I mean? And they get their iPhones out and they have Asian fucking apps music. and it's just, you know, that type of shit. And then they fucking, they're like on a pole, you know, the poles. And they walk on your back and shit. Yeah, and they fucking, that type of shit.

It's the best. No Korean women, they're hot. No, they're like older. You don't do that over there. Okay. No, I thought, I didn't know if it was legit to quit. No. And then you go in, you clean off, and then there's a hot pool,

and then there's two different steam rooms. There's like a eucalyptus type steamroom. And then there's like a wooden sauna. So you go into the hot, then you go into the saunas. That's dry. Yeah, and then you shower off. And then from there you go into the cold plunge. Go into the cold plunge.

And you start yelling, sauna. You start doing the whole thing. And then you chill. And then you go do it a couple times and you leave. How many times you go over there? week. At least five. Jesus. You asked me what I do. Are you still on the road?

Well, Joey, I think I'm partly still on the road. A little bit, a lot. Yeah, no, um, this summer I'm just chilling. You know, the summer. You don't like the summers. We were talking about it. Yeah, yeah, it's too hot and you know, the winters like me. January, get me the fuck out of here. There's nothing going on here. Anyway, Buffalo needs you. Charlotte

needs you. Why, they don't need me. They need you. You're the hot, you're the hot, you're the hot number. They need Polly Shore up in that motherfucking New Jersey and all those places. Then you slow it down. You hit a couple San Jose's, maybe a couple tempies. You take the summer off, then you kick back up in fucking September. That's a smart way to do it, Pauli. I only have like two or three weeks in the summer.

I don't like the humidity either. I got a one-nighter. Yeah, I'm just kind of working on some stuff so I want to be in town. Have you guys ever had to do like, wait, what stuff are you working on? I thought you'd never ask. can I say some of the stuff I'm working on? Not really. See, that's what I was saying.

That's not cool. What were you saying, Lee? I was saying, did you guys ever have to do, like, when you were starting out, have to do, like, Florida in July? Like, because you were talking, you don't like any, like those places? Just did your pictures on the wall, dude. Fuck, I did Jacksonville in July. Ooh.

Ooh, it's right. Because, like, 100, and then there's humidity. And the whole highlight is all you could eat. seafood buffet on Friday, which is they give you a car on the way out. There's a 50-50 chance that you might make it home or you might fucking die. I've worked everywhere, everywhere. It don't fucking matter. Unbelievable Paul.

Make sure you have a camera right on me, on this angle right here. Right. You do it? Like this? Get closer to the mic. God damn it. No, I'm trying to get the visual. What fucking visual? There's a fucking camera right there that's just going on YouTube tomorrow. I want to make sure he's on my fucking close-up.

are. I look at you and I remember the MTV. I look you and I can't, like I said, it's 20 years in my fucking life. It's, uh, you know, I was a criminal bully. So for me to walk around the comedy store, it's a fucking pleasure. I walk around and I still look around there.

I can't believe I'm still fucking here. You were a, how bad of a criminal were you? I just didn't. I was into drugs. I wasn't really a criminal. I was just doing drugs, you know? All those years you read about, you know, it's like I tell people, when you find out, like, my mom smoked pot, my mom did blow. When I was on the fence about doing drugs, your hero got high, so fucking I'll get hot, you know what I'm saying?

And then in comedy, my heroes got high. So I got fucking high. You know, it was the same. You know, you kind of look like, like Al Sharpton. Do I? That's what happens when you eat those stars, Doug. See, who is? who needs my ayahuasca when I give you two of these fucking things

and also I start looking like how sharp and ain't that a fucking kicking the balls a half of one imagine what two would make you look like can you imagine my face would melt in front of your dog if you ate two of those fucking stars a lot what's in them everything good it's like snapple they're like shnapple that's their fucking add we should start adding like those little facts to the star packages that's like fucking snapple right there everything good no no

Side effects. Your hair's not going to fall out tomorrow. You're not going to feel groggy in the morning. All he needs a little fucking coffee and your tip-top, Magoo, you're ready to salute the flag. Go to the comedy store, see what time it is, whatever the fuck. And that's it, Polly's sure? Now, talk to me about this documentary a little bit

that everybody says is fucking fantastic. When was it released? It's my turn to speak? Yes, sir. See how you turn it around on me? He did. That was good. That was sneaky of them.

Sorry. Oh, my God. It was, we shot in Wisconsin. All right. Yeah. What was it a concert footage? It was traveling through the Midwest, like snowy towns and shit, that type of stuff. That's it.

That's the whole fucking document. No, there's more, but I told you I can't speak on this stuff. Yes, you can. You can speak. That's a nice documentary, though. Yeah, write it down. It's me traveling to the fucking winter like Santa Claus. That's what people want to see.

You know what I'm saying? You got to let people. I have to come back and do this when I can speak. Yeah, yeah, tomorrow, but try your best right now. Oh, my God. Try your best. Ah! At least you've made it.

Most people have gone to the couch. Are you serious? Oh, please. So you give them the stars and they say, sit here? Oh, fuck it. Some people make it. Some people make it. That's why the motto of the show is, you dare into this house.

Well, I didn't know. That motto isn't written down anywhere. It's just an internal. The gummy bear seems so innocent. You know what I mean? Like, hey, hey. I didn't know it's going to make me feel like this. You feel good, though. I'm fine, but I can't fucking focus. Sure you can. I can. It's hard. Because

I'm not used to it. I mean, I can try. I'll give you a piece of paper and pen and you can write down The stories and Leo narrate them. I mean, we got all night. Fucking smash your fucking hand. I don't give a... We got all night, though.

You know what I'm saying? You're in no rush. You got nothing to them all. We'll wait till it wears off. Sure. We'll just tell little fucking stories and shit. Little minnets. That's what they call them.

Minets. Bignettes. What do they call them? They call them vignettes, but I like minnets. Vignettes. I'll do whatever the fuck you got. You know what I'm saying? It's just, I don't know, Paulie.

It's overwhelming. for a guy like me to have you in here and to just relive my life at that place, you know? Like you said, I'm real tired with Joe. Joe loves the comedy store.

Joe, well, in the fucking plane. He kisses it when he walks into it. I've seen him. Yeah. He goes like this. Oh, please. You know what I mean?

Look at that fucking guy, Ron White. Look at that fucking guy. He's in love with the comedy store. Yeah, he's great. He's never seen. nothing like that before. You can sit down, you know. It's all right. You don't need to stretch or do nothing like that.

I think it's time for another bonnet. We're going to have to go deep tonight with the mercury waters. Of course that's your answer to this. How is that the response? That's my answer to that. We're going to have a bong hit to this. When in doubt, do a fucking bong hit. Oh my goodness. Please, leave him alone.

Please. You're torching this poor kid. He's hilarious. He's part of the tribe. He's solid. You know what I'm saying? You're hilarious, dude. I'm trying. He's the backbone of the fucking family.

Yeah, he's the backbone of his family. I appreciate him. We're happy you're fucking here, see? We shouldn't have given you a star. Not the whole thing. We should have given you just a little tip. He did. Just that's all he had.

You want to bong it? You want to bong it, boy? No, you're done. I'm going to come back without this and we'll do it. You're scared straight. No, I'm not scared straight. I'm just saying I'd like to have a better interview than this. So tell me about the new one.

Tell me about... What's it doing now? Tell me about the fucking Amazon fucking documentary. No, see, I can't speak. No, you're fine. No, it's better just not to ask me questions. There's a lot of deaf people that watch the show. Don't ask me questions.

Don't ask me questions. Let's just talk. There's a lot of deaf people that watch the show. Dead people? Deaf people. You can do a sign language. Tell us about your fucking documentary. What does that mean?

You're on the road. It's snowing a lot. You're doing shows in different cities. I told you I can't speak. Break it down from me, Lee. Read it down right off Amazon and we'll ask them the questions. How's that? Okay.

I'm just standing, bro. All right, you don't make me, don't worry. You're not making me nervous. You're just making the producer nervous. He's the producer? Yeah, he's friends with Doug Herzog. You know what I'm saying? He knows people.

Why you got your shoes off for? Everything, all right? Is it Polly Shore stands alone? No, it says Polly Shore stands with two people. Okay, fair enough Look at that right there, huh? I can see it. You're fucking around tonight.

All right, we'll bring him back. Yeah, for sure. Shut it all. We'll bring him back. Yeah. How fucked up was that? That was... He jumped touching me.

That was like the angriest I've ever been on an episode. Like, he just kept touching me. When he got up to stretch, I didn't know what the fuck was going on. But there you go. The missing Pauly Shore episode. I hope you motherfuckers enjoyed it. Listen, thank you for the ride. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for everything.

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You know what I'm saying? You got to get kit off of your shoulder. You got to get it off of your shoulder. Oh shit. With all my heart and joy, I wish you guys luck. Love and fucking health and to your families. Love your mother. You only get one.

Love your father. You only get one. And when they're gone, you're going to hurt. You're going to think of me. You're going to think of me and go, Joy, was fucking right. So the rule from now on, the church people is call your mom every day. day and call a friend and check in with them. That's your assignment until we see each other next time.

All right. From the bottom of my heart and my little brother, Lee Syatt there, look at him. He's having a heart attack. I love you guys with all my heart. That's my brother right there. We love you. Thank you very much. I hope you enjoyed the Polish show fucking segment.

He's fuming right now, so send him a tweet and fucking punch, bust his balls from me. He's over there hiding in Vegas. I love you guys with all my heart. All right, thank you very much for the support and love you've given us over the years. It's been great. I want to be around to pick up the pieces when somebody breaks your heart. Kick this fucking meal week. I love you guys.