The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - @chefbrad is Tremenda!

Episode Date: June 3, 2025

Brad Delgado (@chefbrad on Instagram and @chefbrad_ on TikTok) joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt to talk about competing on the TV show, "Hells Kitchen", how one experience with inspired him to become the best chef in the world, and why he loves cooking for people. Joey and Brad also take a deep dive into Cuban food, why it is so important to them, and why bad Cuban food hurts them so much. Try your first month of BlueChew for free, just pay $5 for shipping. Press in code JOEY at https://www.bluechew.com New customers, bet $5 on DraftKings & get $300 in bonus bets if your bet wins. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app & press in code JOEY.

What's happened, beautiful people? Uncle Joey and Lee Syatt here for another fun-filled episode of the Church New Testament. It's Tuesday, June the 3rd. It's a new month, a new week, and a whole new set of motherfucking rules. What else? Anything else you want to tell these people? No, let's get this party started, Jack. Hey, Uncle Joey here.

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And I want to thank Blue Chew for sponsoring the church. And I want to thank you guys to get ready to sling some dick with confidence and love. Try Blue Chew. Free promo code Joey, J-O-E-Y. Thank you. God bless. What up, you savages, Uncle Joey here with my main man, Lysayat. No edibles today. They want to give Leah Breeder. We got a guest, you know.

Last week he was rocking back and forth like one of those weebles wobbles. But I never seen anything like that in my life. You were fucked up, Jack. You saw, there's eight years. No, nothing like that. Way worse than that. George said you fell asleep four times that they fucking, you fell asleep behind the computer over here. Oh, oh, yeah.

Oh, my God. His daughter, I forgot about that. Fucking 8 o'clock at night falling asleep like Johnny Bim-Bidding. I wasn't falling asleep because I was tired. I'm tired. It wasn't, I didn't need a nap. Dude, I fucking passed out in the Uber. I would hate to hear what George's daughter said.

Because I was just asleep. Oh, yeah. It took, I kept telling her, we'll be ready to leave in like 10 minutes. It was like LA times. It was like L.A. times. Yeah, we probably pop an ABX and support it. We popped an ABX.

I put it between my toes on the drive-up. So when I give it to you, it's nice and chewy and fucking jelly. So I got fucked up by mistake Saturday night. I mean, gone, man. My daughter and my wife went somewhere, and I'm sitting there. It's five in the afternoon. I'm like, I'm pretty fucking bored. I got nothing to do until about nine.

I go, let me see those mushrooms. And I had, I didn't have big pieces of enigmas. I had like just crumbs. So I don't like the taste of the crumbs, so I went out in a garage, and there's a box of chips in my garage. So when the kids come over, they reach in and they have these popcorn.

I don't fucking like popcorn. But for some reason, this wise popcorn or something like that? Oh, yeah, that's good a shit. It's not bad. Little bags, little tiny bags. I ate two bags of popcorn and maybe three handfuls of the mushroom dust, right?

Oh. I sat there for a little while. I did a couple one hitters. The girls weren't coming home. I'm going, you know what, I'm going to take a ride. I had to go get sneakers. I've been looking for sneakers for three fucking weeks. I've been going everywhere.

I can't find my sneakers. So I go, let me go get some sneakers. It's Saturday. I'll get, the stores will be empty. I'll get there like five. Dog. I had to turn around in free hope. Like, I had to pull over and stop the sirens in my head.

Like I was hearing, e, like that type of shit. I'm like, I got to turn around. And I turned around, and I had to hold my head a certain way tilted. I go, I'm going to keep it like this the whole way home. I was seeing cars fly by me, like that type of shit. Oh, yeah. I was that part of the day. I'm like, oh, I got to go home. Were you high that you couldn't

play music? Oh, no, I had the music on. I was blasting it. And then at one point, I'm like, I shut the music off. This is too much. I was listening to like Billy Jean by Michael Jackson over and over. I couldn't even stop it. Billy Jean, not my love one. It just don't repeat for half an hour? Oh, my God. I got home and I just sat in that chair

and shrewing up. I'm in that house four minutes. I hear the garage door open. And it's my wife with the fucking baby. Well, she's not a baby no more. And now they want to sit and ask me creepy questions. I was fucking losing it. I had to go upstairs and fake a nap.

It was like my old days when I did a line of coke in the afternoon. And I was too fucking high to face people. I'd make believe I was sleeping. And I put the sleep at me a mask. And that almost died because it put too much air in my lungs. I'd be like, shh, shh, ha. I love why you're so committed to it that you put the, sleep happening and ask on, why not just lay down?

I didn't want nobody to bother me and asked me if I was sleeping or anything, so not until I could get out of that trance. But I had an interesting fucking text message yesterday. That threw me off a little bit because I'm not a bad guy. I'm a bad guy, but not a bad guy. The guy kidnapped, died. Kent Vela, rest in peace. He fucking died, man.

Listen, no matter what happened, no matter the jokes I crack on here about Kent, I like Kent. I like Kent. It was just a different time. It was a different time in my life. I was fucking crazy in the head. The Coke wasn't helping me. The way I was living wasn't helping me.

But I always felt bad about Ken. That's why I made it such a fucking mission to get a hold of him, to see him again, to talk to him. I didn't like the other guy, but I like Kent. I always felt bad for Kent. Even while I was dragging him by his feet into the other room with the pit bull. I'm like, I can't believe. I like this guy.

I'm dragging my friend with a machine gun to his head. Like, it's not good. but he wouldn't give me the Coke and I got pissed off. He wouldn't fucking tell me where it was, so I got pissed off. But even after I saw him in court, I could tell he didn't want to sit across from me. Why? Because he was just, he knew he was involved in it as much as I was.

In the back, it was no matter what he wanted to believe, as a matter of fact, a year after I kidnapped him and I got put away, he got kidnapped again. And that time they cut his face with a knife. Wow. He was just living a life that eventually, listen, not that I stopped living my life, but I stopped the craziness for a while.

The craziness was taken out of my head. I adjusted my life. I started comedy and I made a decision. Now, you know what? I could quit Coke every week. It's never going to happen. I was one of those guys. This is the last time I'll snort,

and then I wouldn't snort for four days. Then I go off for three days. So what's the difference? I go, I'm just going to accept who the fuck I am and go for it. That one day it stopped. For Kent, it never stopped. Let me tell you something.

Life is bad, but when you're in your 50s and you're doing blow, it's just a matter of time. I'm not a doctor. I'm not a genius. Yeah. But in your 50s, if you're not healthy, you're drinking, you're stressed out, and you're doing blow, it's just a matter of time.

If you're still doing blow when you're 50, and you do it to your 59, God bless you. I wish you could do it to your 80. But eventually, at that age, your body can't process that. Not like when you were 21, you know, and you could get up. When I was 22, I could drink all fucking night, do blow and wake up.

Now we eat an edible, and we got to take a shit and drink a pot of coffee just to get straight in the morning. My brother, I drink two pots of coffee and take two shits. That's what you need. Oh, yeah. I remember doing two eight balls of Coke and waking up like nothing happened. Going to McDonald's, getting an egg McMuffin and an orange juice and a Coke, and you're back in action. Well, that, like, as fucked up as I get on Edible, I've never once been like, oh, I'm going to die.

Like, that's one of the things that stopped me from Coke is like, when you were doing Coke, right, but like when you were doing Coke like even though you were younger. I wanted to die. I didn't want to live. I wanted to die. You kind of, you had to like come to terms of like you could die, right? Always. But you could also die getting hit by a banana truck. Right.

You know what I'm saying? Right in West New York. Some guy is not looking around. He's an immigrant. He's got a backpack on. He goes to sit back and he runs you over. You know, you could die doing anything. Yeah.

At that time, I had no parents, I didn't have anything. No girlfriend, no wife, no kid. Who gives a fuck? Right. Who gives a fuck if you die? At least you die with a piece of pussy in your mouth or a fucking hairball or something like that, you know? And that's how I looked at things. And then as you get older, you're like, wait a second, now I'm in love with comedy.

I don't want to die. Right. You know what I'm saying? Like, now I don't want to die. And it's so weird as you get older, you have this attitude like, you know, if I die, I die. But once you hit 50 and you got a wife and you got a wife and you. a kid in the family, you're like, I can't die now. Right.

And listen, if I didn't have a wife and a family, when I was 50, somebody that hold me down, God knows what I'd be doing. That's exactly. God knows so there, but for the grace of God, go I. That's why I feel so bad. Because that could have been me. That could have been me. The tables could have changed.

Kent Bell had got his life together, become a comedian, become successful, and I would have still snorted Coke. I would have had to move to New Mexico with his mother. That's where he lived at the end. He was taking care of his mother. And he said, you know, those people, I had to go back and take care of my mother. You went back because they were looking for you.

You know? You went back because this is the only obvious option for you at this time. You're 40, you can't stop snort and coke. And he was a great salesman. That motherfucker could sell. And that's what this kid told me. He had broken the sales record at his company selling like solar panels or some shit, energy systems.

Okay. For three years in a row. As fucking high as he was. was. It's crazy. It's weird, like how, like, you don't really realize you're getting older, but then, like, suddenly you're 36, suddenly you're 50, and, like, there's one, he just couldn't, that's a scary thing that he just couldn't stop doing cope.

I was at a bar, like, six months ago, and it was like me, a guy, I was just eating dinner, and there was two girls, and I could overhear that conversation, and they were still talking about, they were, like, 32, and they were still talking about high school, and they were, I'm not mad at them. They were just saying that they were both hot in high school, that one was popular, she did it, the guy from the bowling team, whatever. And they weren't talking to me,

but I could hear them talking. And it just goes to show you, until you're about 33, you're still living in high school. Your mind, because you're holding on to it because at some point you've got to live. At some point, you're going to have to shit or get off the fucking pot.

You've been giggling and dancing, and, oh, I got this job just to pay my bills, and I'm going to go back to school, but now you're 30 fucking three. Now you're 33. That's a story you told your parents or you were 23. Since then you got a DUI,

you knocked up some chick. You know, life happens. Life happens. I can't, if you live life, life's going to happen. If you sit at home all day and play video games and deliver fucking, what's that food?

Grubhub. Nothing happens. You might get hit by a car or talk to a customer. Nothing happens. But when you're out there and you're hustling, you know, because when I heard that, Days later, I thought about that conversation.

I'm like, that was me. We just got high school. We got time. We got tons of time. Yeah. We got tons of, fuck, I ain't going to be 40 for 15 years. Well, bitch, one day you're 39. What the fuck just happened?

Still doing the same stuff, too. Still doing the same shit. So that's what happens. You hold on to that high school. You know, I did. I remember still playing music from high school and walking the streets. I can't wait to go to a school. party with my varsity shirt on

with my fucking, you know, that's your whole thing. Your whole thing for 10 years, think about it, not me because I wasn't going to go. I quit high school. Think about it. Your whole thing after you got out of high school is you can't wait to go to the 10-year reunion

to show those bitches what you've done with your life. Yeah. And then it happens that you go back in there and you got nothing. Nothing changed. You go back there with like a fake business card. Yeah, I own a whatever company, you know. You got nothing.

Right. You got nothing. And that's what happens. You're like, all those bitches in high school that wouldn't suck my dick, wait until I get to the 10-year reunion. They're all going to be sucking my dick. No, you're not, because you're still a fucking morto-von. You're still a fucking bum.

Yeah. And that's how fast, life goes. That 10-year window, nothing happens. I always said it. I say it on stage. Your 30s are to clean up the mess you made in your 20s. Oh, shit, okay. Basically, that's what your 30s are.

To clean up the mess, you got this girl pregnant, you got knocked up, had an abortion, your eye popped out. Now you have to live at home with your parents. That's what your 30s are. To clean up the stupidity you're in your 20s. Now, if you're Joe Diaz, you kept doing stupid shit in your 30s. So now you're going to clean that shit up when you're 40. Right.

You know. And now you're cleaning up this stuff in your 50s. Yeah. And it's like, so it's better just to get on the horse and do it because you keep putting it away. You keep procrastinating. And life does pass you by. I did a lot of things in my life

and I'm 62 and I'm like, wow I wish I would have done this Yeah I wish I would have done that And talk I did everything I snorted coke I jumped off buildings I went to prison

You know I did it all I got chased by the cops I chased people What didn't I do Where didn't I live I talk to people And they're like You lived in Aspen

You lived in bold These motherfuckers haven't left Jersey No They never left Jersey They still live on the same block Or maybe three blocks From where they grew up To them to me

I'm like a fucking world traveler Yeah Yeah, and you know what? It's weird. I was just thinking about it this week. I think it's getting worse because I have a, I think a lot of people do. And I do. I have a legit problem with my phone.

It's become, like social, all that. And I'm trying to stop it, but it's become an issue where I waste hours. Hours. That's why I have the monitor. Every Monday tells you, well, Sunday, how much time you spent on that computer? Once I go over an hour, it gets, it shuts down for three. or four days. That's it.

You should not be on that thing. If you're a business person, you're trying to strive. And listen, I get caught on the computer. But I don't get caught on social media. I read. And I go into these fucking, you know, I don't mind reading.

But it's not like I'm going on Instagram for an hour. That's no. There's nothing on Instagram. Facebook, there ain't nothing on for an hour. Nothing. And there's nothing on Twitter for an hour. If I go on a computer, and basically I played the draft kings.

Right, but at least that you can make money. Dude, and I'm ashamed to admit it, I will spend, if I'm bored and don't have, like, I'll just scroll shit that I, the people show, a day in the life of me working at a coffee shop and they just show themselves making coffee. I'm like, what did I do?

Like, what is going? No, you got to get all. And you got to take your social media off your phone. Yep. And just have it when you get home. That's why I don't have Facebook or Twitter on my phone. never had them because that's what it'll make you do. And once you see people on phone,

dog, every time I go out, it makes you put your phone in your pocket. Because any way you go, you go to a restaurant, there's four guys sitting, they're all on the phones. If there's four girls sitting, they all got their phones out. If there's two couples sitting, two people got their phones out. So you have to say to yourself,

you know what, it's time to put this away. I think people, look at, what event do you go? Anytime you see an event on TV, what do you see? what do you see yeah you're at a fucking Nick game game six all the money

10,000 a ticket 10, you go anywhere and then you get in the car you get fucked in the ass and now you can't down 9-11 because the phone is dead you're getting raped

now you're wasting your fucking which you're never going to look at right You're never going to look at. Or who are you going to show it to? Okay, I can see you going, okay, I'm on a Led Zeppelin concert. Bam. Bam.

One song. Because if you come to me and you go, watch this. Listen, enough. Enough. Put the fucking phone away. Oh, especially for that because the audio quality is terrible. They're balancing. There's someone in front of them.

I don't get the, uh-huh. Last week, it was short, the beginning of Memorial Day. My friends went down the shore. You said, they're at a club. Dog, everybody's like this. There's a fuck DJ loser. DJ Hugo, you know, coming direct from Staten Island.

I got my phone out. Like a fucking idiot. That's what it is. I grew up on memories and I still have those memories. Those memories are implanted in my fucking brain. Meanwhile, you didn't get anything. You were too busy looking at a phone taping.

You didn't even get the full fucking experience. It's like when Roger Clemens used to pitch. If you saw Roger Clemens, pitch on TV, you didn't get the Roger Clemens experience. Really? Yeah, because Roger Clemens walked back and forth. He goes at the pitcher, he stares him down for 10 minutes, he crosses his arms,

he scratches his balls. Meanwhile, they're showing you the guy on third base talking to the fucking line coach or the guy in outfield arguing with fucking cheapskates up in the cheap seats. They don't show you what's going on with Roger Clemens. It's the same thing with life. It's the same thing with life. If you have your

fucking stupid phone on, you're going to miss something. You're focused on a stupid phone is to save your memories, your most cherished fucking memories. I don't need pictures. I don't need pictures. I can't listen about a fucking picture. There's no pictures of me in high school. There's no pictures of me anywhere.

Why? We lived. Yeah. We lived. I take a picture. You're taking a picture. There's no coke on the table. You got Budwizers like all faggots holding on to your beer.

Look at this with a mill of light. Well, oh boy, aren't you fucking. You're drinking a beer, whoopee, with five other faggots. Like fucking four mariconsito. That's what my mother would call. Me, this, four maricone. Look at us with a beer. Showing people.

That's it. You didn't miss the whole thing. How many times you bump into people? Let's take a picture. No. We're at Rudy's. There's no reason to take a picture at Rudy's. Right.

What the fuck is wrong with you? But you take the picture because you're a fucking idiot. But you're like, you miss it. and the whole fucking thing. And the Instagram, you're just going into other retard's lives. Right. They're just, when you scroll,

it's retarded lives. It's retarded because if they had a life, they wouldn't be putting them up. Oh, yeah. If they had a life, they wouldn't be putting everything up to show you that they're doing something. And they're not even doing it. You know, DJ Khalid, fat fuck, eating a steak

on a boat. I want to see that? You're showing me, you got more money than me and you live. But meanwhile, you owe your credit card. You got six fucking kids that you owe baby mama. You know, any day now, baby mama drama. You know, it's the same shit. So you're buying into their fucking bullshit.

They're fabricating you a bullshit of lies. And I see it every day. I see these people who make, every time you open up YouTube, it's a new Joe Rogan tape. Joe Rogan did this and Joe Rogan did that. They're so involved. And they cling on to the words.

Well, he said this, he said that. If you had a piece of ass, a life, you wouldn't give a fuck with Joe Rogan said, or Joey Diaz, or Lysayat, or whatever, you wouldn't care. No. And at least pod, I love podcasts, but the one that is new that I don't really understand, is like the Twitch streamers who just will do stream, like, some of the biggest, Kevin Hart's on like this guy, Kaisenat. He just all day is just in his room, like, doing weird shit, but it's like millions of people.

and you can make a lot of money by just watching their shit and making clips and putting it and it's really become like it's become a problem for me it's not just like oh yeah you gotta stop you're a stand-up comic you're 30-something years old

it ends today that's it take that shit off your fucking phone all of this stupid shit all of it if Instagram is bothering you take it off yeah no paramount is not gonna reach you on Instagram right you're right

you're saying just for lab festival, well, they're defunct now, is not going to reach you on Twitter. Right. And if fucking, you know, Dave Chappelle wants to hire you, he's not going to call you on Facebook. Right. And I, because that's the thing.

I make the excuse, like, oh, I knew this for comedy, but I spend 99% of the time not posting my own shit. How much is my social media gone down since I moved to Jersey? You've done a lot less. I post one day a week. I post on Tuesdays.

Have a great day. Sometimes I got an urge to post on Mondays if I want to play Tony Bennett or something. I get the sudden urge. But besides that, there's no reason no more. For me, there's no reason. I do one show a month. It sells itself out.

But if you want me to keep making tapes, I can't do it no more. I can't do it no more. One day I looked at it, I go, what am I doing with my life? Because in the point, you start thinking that they can't live without your stupid video.

Yeah. That was the one day motivation thing. You really start believing that in your mind that they can't live. And the one day you sit there when you're sober and go, am I a fucking retard? Yeah. And listen, for all you comedy comedians out there, let me tell you how it is. Dave Chappelle has no social media.

Dave Chappelle has no websites. Dave Chappelle has nothing. He pops up a show and it miraculously sells. So I want you to think about that. Now, if you take that same mentality, you're going to die for two years, but after a while, it might be better for you.

Right. Because you're not constantly, every Monday, I got to go through Instagram on Monday. What do you see? 50 standers. Everybody wants to put their stand-up on there or them in front of a theater

showing you the people with a thousand people behind them. Right. You follow me? Like, yeah, just bragging. You know what? If you look at my resume, it says stand-up comedy,

how much more stand-up comedy do you have to put on there? Try something different. a picture you roller skating and fall on your ass. Anything. It's like today I was going to make a boxing tape when I was at boxing gym and I'm like again, who the fuck wants to see me hit a fucking speed bag? The guy always says, tape yourself

doing that and then show it to me. And I'm like, I'm not in the fucking mood. I don't have the common sense to get a tripod and hang the cat. I just want to go work out. Right. But now if I'm, you know what I'm saying? Like it just got all that shit to me. It was like, they don't need to see this no more. They already know I will not make a tape of me smoking dope ever again.

Wow. They know I smoke dope. I got to come on there every day and... It's what 20 times. They know you smoke dope. Right. After a while, you look at yourself and you're like, he's a fucking old man,

acting like a fucking child. I can name three guys with there still smoking dope on there that don't look good. Enough. Enough. They know you smoke dope. Enough. Right.

Enough. Give them something different. Show them a picture you playing chess. Like if I ever decided to learn how to play chess, I'd do it taping me getting beat up playing chess. Because that's an angle they've never seen me done before. Right. But everything else, they've seen.

You've got a new joke. So you've got a new joke. You've got to show them now. Make them come see it without showing them that. Make them come to your show without showing them that. All right. We'll be right back. We're going to bring on a special guest we got.

I'm excited about this guy. I've been trying to get this guy on for fucking a year. but I got sick and shit. We'll be right back. We'll talk to you a little bit about Draft Kings and UFC, what is it, 316 this week, live from Newark, New Jersey. We'll be right back. All right, you savages, Uncle Joey here.

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Minimum minus 500 odds required. Bonus bets expire 168 hours after issuance. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see dkng.com slash audio. We're back like herpes. Uncle Joey here with my main man. Chef Brad from his Instagram fame, 600,000 people up there. What's up, Blimo?

Oye, we're doing. I am so excited. It's been a long time coming. This is a thing where, oh, I'm so happy that we're here. We're here. We're here. We're here.

We're queer. I found love with Chef Brad. I'll tell you why. I have a white wife from Tennessee. And I love my wife. She'll cut a finger off for me. And for years. she knows that I always talked about Cuban food.

And she went and got her best recipes online on YouTube. And it was a fucking disaster every fucking time. And I felt so bad for her because she'd say, let's make it again. And I go, uh-uh-uh-you-you-y. And my wife has a problem that when she gets a recipe good twice, she stops going to it. She gets on the phone with a mother.

Like in my house, like spaghetti sauce will eventually turn into chili. You know, like everything turns into something else with my wife. And I love her. And, once again, she's not a chap. She's a cook, you know, like a pretty okay cook. But when I showed, and I told her one day, I sat it down, and I go, listen, you're forbidden from Cuban cooking. You're done.

I love me to death with you for 25 years, but I can't do it no more because you're chopping up these fucking recipes. You're destroying my inside. You don't know how much you destroy my insides. I am not some wannabe Qaeda. that talks about Cuban food. I'm Cuban. I'm very traditional.

Before the revolutionary Cuban, where the food was fucking impeccable. They loved to cook. They would snort Coke while they were cooking. The Coke would drip on the piccadillo. Nombin shit. And I found you on Instagram, and I looked at the recipes,

and I'm like, this guy's onto some. And I called her down, and I go, you got to watch this motherfucker. So the first recipe she took from you was Katneko and Papa. Tremendus. Then she stole the moral recipe. that you put it away two years ago was delicious and then she got me the piccadillo recipe

and that is killer because after i eat it i save a little bit and the next morning i wake up and i put it on wonder bread see see on wonder bread with the potatoes soe that is oh my god when life was hitting you hard eso a picadio with a wonder bread oh my god and when you remember you have it i get like what i'm gonna have for lunch that taste in your mouth i even make kind of papa sandwiches on white bread exactly i fucking love that shit Is it no, it's, it's the textures mixed with just, just like you were saying earlier, that papa, when you cut it in half and it's perfectly brown, I eat, colored with all that sason, but the middle's nice and white, no.

People have no matter. When you cut up it, when you're a Cuban potato with a dish called, Kahnikon Papa, number 25 at Versailles. Say, that's how strong my fucking game is. If you ever go to Versailles, just say 25, whether it's Miami or California. 25. 25. Number 25. Number 25, baby.

205. When you cut, I remember going to Versailles, California, and cutting the potato, the whole thing was white. I'm like, I'm in the wrong restaurant. Because the outside has to absorb the gravy from the fucking meat. And that beef gravy and the bouleone they put in there, and it's brown on the outside.

But when you cut it, deep in the middle, it's fucking nice and white and clear. You don't know what that taste does to your fucking mouth. Your mouth, you can feel the flavors. It's a... It's a... It makes you go back in time. You know, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's like why I love the Cuban food.

Because even Lee, oh, you don't look like you eat Cuban food all the time. But when you had it, how, it's just nostalgic. I've, and I had no, I'm not going to compare to it. Yeah, no, no, no. No, I think. I think. No, that one, they would have lasted a lot longer. Dude, that, that rice and I've never had.

I've never had and I'm sure it's not like that for I in the valley that we went to and that garlic I'm sure it was I know the one that you're talking about but that garlic chicken even bad Cuban food to me

as someone who doesn't know much about it is the first time I had that crispy chicken and it wasn't fried but they did something to it with that garlic sauce and that we were talking about before you just give me black beans and rice avocado and some sort of meat I'm good I'm good too

Oh my God. I don't have, there's just, for someone who grew up in the Northeast, not around, like, it was just white people. Like, there was good food. See. But there's, it's different. It's different. It's boring. Yeah.

And you don't know until you know. See, Sasong. That's, that's truly, I think, what it really is. Like, people don't realize that, like, the power of the bay leaf is what, what I always tell everyone, if you just want your food to be, like, good, you know, just throw a freaking bay leaf. that bay leaf will impart that magical flavor of like, no, su madre, that every time you bite into those black beans, it's like a different world. Because I feel like a lot of them, like, Central America doesn't really use like a lot of like sazon and like all that stuff, obviously.

But that's like the whole central and middle of America is where the like iodineized salt thing came from. Because nobody, no one had iron. no one was like doing that and they go, conio, we got to put it in the salt, because these are going to die. You know what I mean? So people use iodine, ice salt and when they cook with it,

it kind of screws up the flavor, I think. So I feel like when people do cook and like a lot of Cubans, I feel like they try to stick as natural as possible when it comes to like ingredients and stuff, like sal and like bay leaves too. But I got to get you to Miami just so you could just have true authentic football. I swear. I don't know if I'm ready for it.

No, no, see, we were talking about it, but it's like I know. You're ready for it. No, you're ready. I see a little bit. Dude, I'm like gaining all the way back. Here's the thing with recipes that sucks. I'll call people. George, get grandma's recipe for chicken.

And grandma's great. She'll give me the recipe. But the bitch will leave something out. Okay? It's like when you learn jiu-jitsu. Exactly. They always leave something out for you to figure on your own. for you to kind of figure on your own.

But guess what? I'm an idiot. I don't want to figure it out on my own. I want you to tell me. So for years, me and my wife have been experimenting with Cuban recipes and everything tasted was missing something

until we found your recipes. Oh my God, that's like, okay, because you weren't hiding nothing. Because that's what was pissing me off. That we would cook it to the fucking, I'd sit there with a aletto, you know, white wine. What's that wine? Like, come on and chili out.

Come on in Chi la. When they eat that dry wine. That dry wine, I eat. That's a whole fucking thing. You just let it reduce. But nobody shows it. Nobody shows you that. No one tells you.

And it's the only person that you gave us legit recipes. Like, I became a fan because I'm like, most people leave something to fuck out. And you got to figure it the fuck out. You got to sit there with a spoon that night. You know, and that's one thing that you did that I really liked. You know, like the moro. I fucking love moro. it'll put 20 pounds on it.

20 pounds. Because you make that shit with pork grease. No, pork grease. Mono is truly like it's a dish that we cook for like Noche Juvena for parties. It's black beans and white rice cooked together. So like the rice has this like dark tinge, right? A lot of these restaurants nowadays use like that dye that still back, I think in the like I think like probably like 60. and like 70s, people still use del Moto and the like little dye, whatever.

So when you go to a restaurant, you'll, you'll kind of see when it's not authentic. Okay, it looks like black. Like kind of like that. Like squid spaghetti. Yes, see, see, see. Literally, literally. But when you cook an authentic one, you let the grease of like you render down pork. You really put the bay leaves in there.

And like I always tell people, whenever you have like dry spices and stuff, throw it in with all of the hot. like grease and stuff like that because it's coccina and that allows it to like open and give you those flavors that you're like fighting to like figure out you know but with with my page granted

I really just try to like simplify everything to make sure that you get the same taste that Auelita or Awelo or whatever was there because I too was on that same boat where I'd sit there and be like me gau la meadda bro these fucking guys don't put like they're

They're saying, oh, this is how you make a steak fritz. But I'm like, you didn't tell the people that you got to fry the fries twice. You got to do this. And then I saw this carne con Papa and he missed a bay leaf. He missed a lung like a tiling de like vino blanco and shit. And I'm like, dude, you're missing key flavors that are crucial components to like people in this culture. You know, it's like if you make a catna with a Cuban and it doesn't taste like a catna con pap, I don't eat it.

I'm pissed. I'm pissed. You go, you're mad. The problem was. See. And places outside of Miami, and trust me, I've given everybody a chance. No, see. I can imagine.

In Louisville, Kentucky, you got four Cuban restaurants. De Vita. And three of the people are from Union City or West New York. Minneapolis has a Cuban restaurant that's run by a Greek woman who grew up in Cuba, and her husband was Cuban. And he died, and she opened up a restaurant that's standing a room only. It's so busy. It's packed.

for breakfast and lunch. My buddies just went there and sent me back. I told them. I go, if you go to Minneapolis, go to that lady. They came back, they live here, and they were like, Joey, the breakfasts are insane. Steak, potato. You know, it's like a Cuban breakfast. The old breakfasts.

You know, I remember growing up, my mom, waking up to see white rice with a steak on top of it and two eggs, and then they break the yolk, and the egg goes on the fucking steak and on the rice, and they mix it up with a fucking cup of Cuban coffee with milk and then they would get a pound

of Cuban bread with butter and dip it. And the fucking coffee and eat that shit. I'm like, no. No. Now? Now? I would give my hand to see my mother eat that breakfast again. Fucking huge breakfasts. We have a friend, Rudy Sarzo. Cuban kid. West New York, Miami.

He won't eat Cuban food. When we go take him out, he'll eat a brooketa. Because he goes, Cuban food fucks me up. Because at the other side of that spectrum, it's fattening. No. It'll fuck Last week or two weeks ago, you were making those wayabas, I didn't want to look at that. Oh, look at that shit.

Wayab. Because that you have no idea the amount of patelitos that I fucking made. Everyone was like, oh, no, make a patelito. Because going back to your point with Lee earlier on about, like, Instagram, right? Like being on Instagram and Facebook and YouTube and all these cociedas, right? You become like crap, like, fuck. Like, what does everybody want? You know, you have some people wanting, oh yeah, I want carne con pa.

Oh, yeah, I want this. So I posted the pastelitos. And then everyone was like, now we want them with patelito and queso. And I'm just thinking, oh, just put a little of queso. Maybe it's the same. You made them way. And then I was like, this way, because everyone just gets like this like, but the amount of freaking food, I've started the gardeners on Tuesday,

se caghan. Every time they come to the house. Because they show up and I go, hey, are you guys hungry? Because I was there with like literal, like, almost like 200 patelit. Because I just started making him and then all my friends, Oye, oh, yeah, but my circle's like, bro, I just got a puppet named Paco, right? Because it was a bitch getting people to be on this shit. So I go, you know what?

Fucking I'm going to be papu, Paco, and I'll do this also, right? The amount of pastelitos that I just give away and the amount of food, it's like, un despingue, but the pastelitos are the most dangerous and the Cuban bread with the butter and you just dip it in the coffee that's already filled with like six, like, six. Six cups of like sugar, bro. It's like insane. And then people think, I'm here here,

joroa, because obviously, like, if you had a collada, you wouldn't sleep for like nine years, you know? Like, like,

it's, it's, it's, um, like just, like the meth of Cuban coffee. Like, it's just like the first press that,

like, comes out, right? You take it, you mix it with like three things of like sugar, bro. And you solo is there. And it becomes,

this thing that if you just like lick it, a little bit of hair on your nuts, you know? And I'm like, oh, what are we doing, baby? Depue, you pour this colada and you drink it. The first two sips, your heart's going to have like three palpitations. And then you're going to be like, goonio, I think I'm going to call it. And then you're going to look at someone and be like, I think, oh, my God. You get horny, you get horny, you get crazy. It's like Leche de Tigre, but like Cuban, you know what I mean?

It's nuts. And then you smoke a cigar to really like that motherfucker. No, no, no, no. And then, you revientas the toilet. But discolada, people freak out. Because everyone, they drink it in like thimbles, you know, in like a little thimble.

Because if you have more of that, you're going to have a heart attack. You're done. No, I fucking... Starbucks to suck your dick. Yeah, no, Starbucks is nothing. Did you fly to Miami International? Yes, see, see.

Okay. When you go to Miami International, there's a place that you buy sandwiches and stuff. Yes, if you look to your left, there's a Starbucks. See, that's lonely. Empty. Empty.

Empty. Empty. Lonely. guy. He's a one man showing that. They don't get. They don't get business they get. Because I'm not paying $4.25 for your ice water. When for $1.25, I'm doing meth. Right from the

boat. Right from the boat. The shit the cartels sells. Unless you're an idiot and you don't know anything about coffee, look at Starbucks. You take your ass over to that place. You get a coffee. You got a Cuban sandwich with breakfast and you buy three sandwiches to go. Tell them not to put it in the oven. And you bring that

motherfucker on the plane with you and when you get home, he blows in the oven. And then you eat. Shit. Yeah. Shit, boy. Now who taught you how to cook? No, so it, it was crazy. My grandmother, right? So I grew up in Miami, born and raised, Tollo Eso. My grandmother, my mom owns a restaurant in my, or her and her cousin, her brother, right? So my, my uncle owned this restaurant in Miami called Bahamas Fish Market, right? Back in the like 70s, everyone who like just got off the Bodhi Tooleezzo, they're much. mothers would would start working in this restaurant to like make money for it or whatever. The moment I posted about that, that restaurant, all these people like kind of like were like, holy shit. Like you, you were part of this and all this. It's such a Cuban staple and I didn't even realize, you know? Growing up, going back and forth from Bahamas and seeing my like grandmother there, we'd always go to her house after. This bitch would put me up on the thing and be like,

I'm like, sure. She cooked me up arroz, and then she'd do the little egg, and then the garbanzos, and then all of that. I would just sit there and watch, and she had this fucking bird, bro, that always me mordia. I don't know what the fuck it was,

but I'd be like, I'm there watching it and me like, fuck this bird, you know, whatever. I get so mad, but over the years, like seven, eight years past, and like I didn't realize that, like, I was like keeping it there, you know, just watching her do, were things and I didn't realize that it was going to like stick with me.

Then I moved to New York to pursue like acting school, right? Tremendo de Pinge, bro. They put me in the school. They go, get a leotard. I go, Oh, yeah, pablo. This is the Walmart because this is d'Uro, Papa, because it's just, bro, leotards six a.m. movement class, right?

And we'd be laying there. Bro, bro, bro. Laying there. No, no, no. It's a marigonerie. I was like, bitch. And I don't, this isn't my shit. I want to be.

No, no, no, no. I want to be funny. I want to be charismatic. You're telling me I have to come into a leotard. Move like this and I'm going to cry because I'm pulling socks out for a scene. Go fuck yourself. Por favor. So I left the school.

I go pala pina. But when I really learned how to cook was during this period because I had a lot of friends from like Europe and Australia from this acting school. They've never had a Thanksgiving, right? And I was like, conio, what the fuck you mean? You never had a Thanksgiving. And then I was like, wait a minute, history. Obviously, they don't celebrate that over there.

And I go, oh, my God. So I called my Cuban parents. And I go, this year I'm not coming for Thanksgiving. Mejolid la vida. They fucking hated me. They go, oh, my God, sacrilege. You know, every holiday, you got to be with the family. I go, no, wait, I got some blazero here that we're going to feed and we're going to make

Brad's giving. I started cooking at 5.30 p.m. Worst mistake I've ever made. I cooked two chickens. I cooked a whole hand. cook to all that I'm like I'm gonna kill 30 people tonight because you know say if I cook this right whatever but something just like came over me and I was like con you I think I did this right it's like 1 30 in the morning I go hey everybody

food's ready happy Brad's giving I can oh oh everyone sits down everyone eats and they go Brad I go pinga bro you lo ho dee yolo oh dee this is the best chicken I've ever had I go, nah, bro, shut up, shut up, right? I spend another year in New York. Every day I walk past a culinary school. And, like, I don't realize till the last week I'm moving out of New York, right? Every day I walk by and sit there, be like, goño, what class. What kind of, I'm just playing with food.

I want to do that. Fuck, but I have to go home. And now I have this lawyer, dad, and this mom that's like, you're not doing anything. And he's like, you got to be in business. I'm like, you want to see me just like, colgado there. Because I don't do the cubicle life. I don't do that, dad. And like, I don't know how you got it, whatever.

I moved back to Miami and, oh, this is like the true story of how I became a chef, truly. My ex-girlfriend breaks up with me, right? Yo, never did it in my life, whatever. This girl breaks up with me, right? Parents hated her. She was 28. I was 20. Oh, yeah, I got a whole ass woman to fall in love with me.

I was a little Haitian, a little Haitian. Tattooah. Haitian Filipino. Patua. Patua. But goa goni o's my mother. It was the best, like, year of my life. He was loguishishim.

This bitch leaves. She goes, no, me go, da-da-da-da. I go, okay. A friend calls me. He goes, oh, yeah, man, whatever. There's this water, whatever. He goes, drink, drink the water. It's going to be great.

Whatever, de-na-da-da-da-da-da. Bro. Oh, my God. To-took-tto-took-took-took-tto-tok-tac-tac-tac. I'm dancing in the bushes, bro. I'm dancing in the bushes outside of my house. Like, listening to like kick-cuddy, bro. You know, I was listening to Kid Cutty.

And then all of a sudden, all of a sudden, this gosita, the words of the song go, if you can't take the heat, get out of my kitchen. And I go, I'm going to be the best fucking chef in the world. I go to my mom's room. I kick the door. And I go, I'm going to be the best chef in the world. She goes, get the fuck out.

It's 3.30 in the morning. I'm like, sorry. Oh, shit. My car go. That night, I applied to this restaurant called Yuvia. Right? It was in like Lincoln. Lincoln now has this like parking lot that like is like whatever it was the best restaurant in

Miami at the time I applied I was like no I'm there like hold a while bro I'm like yeah I'm motherfucker I'm gonna do this whatever I applied next day they call me they go can you come in tomorrow I go sure me me thinking it's gonna be like an apprenticeship whatever didn't realize it was Mother's Day brunch I walk in they go oh the grill guy called out you want to step on the grill I go yeah go no I'm probably gonna get help he don't bro there was no help all of a sudden 350 people just sit down and they go and i'm like what the fuck is this whether like am i supposed they they go those are all your orders i'm like okay but like what do i do they go cook i'm like fuck okay bro i grab these churaco

because i'm like what whatever on churaco and i didn't even cut them i just laid these motherfuckers out there the the the grill was like this big for four hours I see, bro. Four hours I see doing all this shit, whatever. I'm like blacking out. I'm like, I'm killing someone. I'm like, whatever. The service finishes and everyone's like looking at me.

I'm like, hey, everybody. I think, ooh, can I go home, please? And then, this Michelin Star Chef, Gilles-Zepi comes down. He's like, oh, hey, who the fuck was on stakes? I was like, me, what I do? Fire me now, because I don't know this. So he goes, dude, you killed it tonight. Thank you so much.

I want to take you under my wing and like, let's see if we could do this. I go, what the, like, what the fuck was in that? You know, I'm like, this is crazy. From there, I just started cooking and he kind of taught me like French technique, right? Then I went to the CIA in Napa Valley. So culinary school. I had like 5,000 followers. And I was just sitting there.

And I look at them and I go, oy, just so I could build some credibility, I'm going to go to culinary school so like you can like really understand me and I could teach you everything I know for you guys to become better home cooks and I was like 5,000 people like no one you know I was like bingo I'm about to spend thousands of dollars just for your like let me see if this is going to work for me you know then I went to the CIA and it just all kind of like clicked where I saw these people being like oh you know like I'm going to be a chef for the rest of my life and I'm like pere per better, but you mean you're going to work in the kitchen for the rest of your life, whatever, and do all this.

Yeah, yeah, it's fun. It's my passion. I go, but with dinero, you know, and like, well, how are we going to, how are you guys going to do this? When I was watching these other kids learn how to cook, something clicked about the acting school and, like, the tightness of that leotard, I was like, my God, when I'm in there, you know what? I think if I meld this acting with this, like, cooking-esque technique that I'm learning, like, French technical technique, which everyone has to learn.

Like, whenever you're like cooking any chef, Escoffier's method and his technique, that's a cociita that if you don't have a wife, you learn that shit, you will have a wife the next day. Because it's a one a cosa where you will, wow, like cook crazy. But all these kids were just so dead set on being in a kitchen all day. And I'm like, that's no in my vida.

I want to at least have that moment for either people or anybody that you not only just escaped for that minute and a half of watching this video or whatever, but you learn something. And I feel that that is where everything kind of clicked, because this, like, generation and this epoca, you know, it's like there's not a lot that's being taught. It's all like what's being seen, just like you were saying earlier with like streamers where I'd understand a streamer, you know, but if you were doing good, you know, and like, oh, like not just going to a hotel and like destroying it with like 50 people and then getting the views you do away so what what are you teaching the youth you know that's like looking at you and what are you teaching like people and like

your peers so i took all that shit you don't say what what i was i was like oh my god this is what what what an epiphany from acting school i moved to l-a and then i put myself in one of the like tiniest kitchens called pettitoa it's run by ludo la veveveveve it's they they have one in the valley and they also have one in highland in hollywood right so this was all like peak covid as well so it was a miyri da where everyone was walking around going to that myrda restaurants were like at minimal capa i'm like what the hell but this restaurant didn't matter at 7 a.m you had to line out the door for the french omelet right then at night this burger that i would make every night it was called the big mec it would take two days to like make all the ingredients right it was

like this red wine bordelays with this Thousand Island sauce on top of two patties with a con con con con con con quesito this oh my God it's like you have no idea this burger people would come

bring their dates and I'm looking at them I'm like oh yeah poppy you're not going to get anything after you eat here because you're going to be there what the fuck was that the food that good the food was amazing it was like I because it was the detail

It was that our friar was clarified butter, you know? So this guy would dish out, I don't know what, but this manteguia, I'm like, bitch, that's a lot, you know, a lot. Clarified butter as you're frying essential oil is nuts. But this burger was just like this, like mystique thing. I don't know why, but there I really, really learned how to cook. Because every night it would be like 200 people sitting in like an 80 person restaurant. Like it was tiny as shit But it would move like that

The grill would be a sea crazy To the point that I worked so hard That it formed an abscess in my back Like it was a like Wake up at 5.30 Because I lived near like Beverly Hills And like Dojini por a right Like right on the cusp

I would drive 530 I'd get there at six Work till like 11 p.m. Right with like like a little like 20 minute, 30 minute break, whatever. And then, oh my God, wake up the next day. By the time that you're out of that restaurant, it was like 1.30, maybe like 2 in the morning.

Because you got to like clean, limpiad, and all that's, that's the part that killed me where it was like, after we just got molested during service, you're like, okay, now clean the floors. I'm like, are you fucking nuts? I'm like, what do you mean? But it built character. It built like this.

Discipline that I, because I, obviously, as you could see, I have full-blown ADD to the max. And to me, it's like the best thing on the planet. But this taught me how to organize things. This taught me how to go through the motions of something that, like, helps you, like, make things easy for people, you know? Where, like, cooking a burger, it's simple. But if you do it multiple times, like cooking a French omelet, right? I never learned how to, like, knew how to make. So you take like two ladles of eggs, right, and like butter.

And then it starts like coagulating a little right as it's coagulating, right? You smack it one time and then you start like flipping it towards you and it looks like like a perfect cylinder. Like perfect cylinder rolled and then you just put a little bit of butter on top and then it comes out like shiny. See? Oh, my God. People, it's like technique cooking. Do you make a cheese French in a little? You would put borson like garlic and herb, borson pepper cheese, whatever cheese, goat cheese. You can't throw what you want to go cheese.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Goat cheese, no, but borson in there, that, that's so, that's, that, so sas, that's a rigo, but people would line up, but in there is where I learned how to cook. Then, se despingo the cause when the Hell's Kitchen team reached out. That was like nuts. They see my Instagram. I still had like 5,000 followers. I wasn't doing anything.

You know, I don't know, you know, I don't have doing nothing. And these people reached on there like, oh, you do want to be on Hell's Kitchen? But they like sent a DM from an account that had like two followers. I go, either I'm going to get raped or this is like a cocee here where, okay, this is like real. So we go. and then they the the amount of tests oh yeah the blood test the the psychological test to make sure that you're not freaking crazy and you go in there and be schzzyzzi and madda la persona it was the craziest test it was three and it was three and a half hours two of those hours was a black screen

and a questionnaire where there was like someone else watching me answer these questions but the questions were crazy it's like so would you ever kill your parents hey you just don't make a face, you know? I was like, pinga, bro. If I make a piece like, you know, I was like, oh my God. Every little thing was there, the blood test and all that. I went on Hell's Kitchen, and that is where I truly became Cuban, Cuban. It was the craziest thing ever, because when I lived in Miami, I wasn't this cuiche, you know, I wasn't this like, oh, blah, blah, blah, when I moved to California, I went to California, I go, you know, you know, this doesn't a little bit of energy. I get on this show and everyone's like, oh, I left my kids.

I did all this. You know, I'm going to win this show. I'm like, why do you guys want to win this show? You're going to work at a restaurant for the rest of your life. Like, what is the point? But for me, I don't know what, let's just go on and let's have fun. And the Cubanism started coming. And then from there, I was like, going, I think I'm on to something.

I love my culture. I'm cooking some Cuban dishes for Gordon. And he's like, what did you do to this burger? What did you do to this? Like, oh yeah, bro, it's sassong, dude. It's like you put a little bit bailey, you put a little paprika, et oregano, a nato seed. It turns into a whole other dish.

And it kind of clicked. After Hell's Kitchen, my ex hated me. Because I had like a 280-person, like apartment unit complex. I walked downstairs and I put a cartel. If you want Cuban coffee, Cuban bread, and pastelitos, knock on this door. Five bucks. I have no idea if it was legal.

I make it me import. I put that bitch on Yelp, right? the apartment building will get calls night and day being like so is this el cuanito restaurant like is there seating outside and they're like what the hell is going on one day i go to get groceries whatever i come up there's a line outside of my door i open i'm i'm like what is going on like i don't know whatever i opened the door my girlfriend i said what the fuck did you do and i was like mea mea mea kucha I think they want cafettos. I made like 200 coffecitos.

Like, because there was no Cuban food. So from Hell's Kitchen, I went into that. And then I dumped the group. Well, like, we, mutual. Mutual. Mutual dumping. But it was this cocyta where from there, I brought it back to Miami. And I started up the chef Brad thing.

Because she didn't want me to do Chef Brad and all that. Because it's like, I am very passionate about this. And like, I want to make sure that everyone eats good, you know? because at the end of the day, everyone has to eat, you know? Like, it's not like, oh, ooh, you know, see, it's a problem, you know, it's crazy you say in this

because I go to a restaurant by my house and the food's good, good people, but I like the owner. Yeah. Because from the minute you walk in, he's coming up to you going, we're hungry. What do you want to eat?

What do you want me to make you? Yeah. You know, what do you want to make? And those are the people that, when they bring you the food, as they watch you eat, they're fucking coming in their pants. Yeah.

And that's a special feeling. Not for me, because I'll never lie to cook. But I can see that when I'm eating, I'll look up, and he'll be like, fucking, like, how is it? And he won't leave until I tell him how it is and why it was good. And then he'll leave and he'll come back.

You want more? And I think about this guy all the time, because I'm like, it's like the Italian people when I grew up, when you went into their house, they bent over backwards to you. Everything. You know, it's like, I read an article. a really good journalist

30 years ago in Chicago. And she was Cuban and she covered a lot of Cuban stuff. And she wrote an article about visiting her family in Cuba. And she said that when she walked in, no matter how poor they were, any home in Cuba, when you walked in, this is 1985.

Yeah, yeah. And she goes, no matter what home you walked in and what little or nothing that they had, they always offered you a glass of water. And I remembered that. I really remembered how special that sentence was, that they offered you a glass of water.

They were happy that you were there. When people come to my house, I'm never happy. Unless you're showing up with a piece of pussy to eat ball. I ain't happy. Well, I got you. What are you doing here? What are you doing here? You know, but there's a quality about somebody

who wants you to eat, who's looking at you going, I don't care if you weigh 500 pounds. Yeah. I just want me to be happy. I just want you to be happy. And that's a fucking gift that a real chef has.

What you're telling me that you make 200 coffees and whatever, that's a real chef. That's a real, a chef humanitarian type of person. See. He wants everybody to have the good things. You know, when I see somebody eating bad food, it drives me crazy.

Exactly. Tries me crazy. Anybody in this room knows. No. Drives me crazy because you live in America. And that's all these options. Yeah. And you're choosing to go to McDonald's.

I see. Or you're choosing to eat stupid fucking pizza at 50 years old, which drives me crazy. That's crazy. You know, all these shit that we do, when you have all these options to eat this fucking great food

and it only costs you $20 more to eat that great fucking food. Exactly. But meanwhile, you'll fucking kill yourself to eat something shitty. I'd rather tell my girlfriend she'd go fuck herself that she ain't going out to eat this week because I stopped somewhere at lunch

and got a steak for myself. You know, and that's what we, I don't understand it anymore. And these guys will tell you, even when I was robbed, there was a Chinese restaurant. I used to rob up in Fort Lee all the time. You know, I didn't give a fuck. My goal was, I don't mind not having weed during the week.

But on Sunday, I'm going to have weed where I got to rob you. And on Sunday, even if I don't have money, I'm going to have a top-notch fucking meal. If I got a robbery. Because that's the way life is. You cannot, well, I don't have any money. I'm going to go to subway. That's the wrong attitude.

Go get that money. I don't give a fuck if you dine and dash. Go get that money. Because you feel so much better when you eat something 100% better. Like you just feel... You could be flat broke.

I don't give a fuck if this is the last $55 steak I'm ever going to get. I'm leaving this restaurant with $3. I paid $50 for the steak and I gave a $20 tip and I drank water just so I could sacrifice

to eat this fucking great steak. We've forgotten that. And that's why, you know, every time I drive, McDonald's, I go, who the fuck has eating this? And okay, there's financial limitations. There's people that don't make a lot of great money or whatever.

But man, that's one of the things you live for. It's to eat good. Every society, they showed you pictures of it. 10 fat dudes, you know, with a fucking table, the fucking food. It's Christopher Columbus. I just saw a picture these. They have those Indians have these Indian guys that fuck 14-year-old boys

and they wear like a little mask. Even those guys, they feed these. little kids before they molest them. These little kids dance with them and shit. I saw that on Instagram. See, that's worth looking at right there. I don't want to see no fucking guy doing stand-up. Another podcast on Instagram.

Or you give me a live report from what cheese steak plays. I don't want to see that. No. But eight Hindus, eating Hindu food. And they got like 50. And they got that little chubby. You ever see that fat dude that shakes. She goes.

Oh, yeah. Wee, we, weave, weave, weave, I would put him in front of my restaurant. $10 an hour. Just wiggle. Oh, yeah. $20 an hour all you could eat. It's just bum, bum, bum, bum.

Interesting to me. You know what I'm saying? And then I look at your videos. And I go, every fucking week on Channel 12, they do that fucking restaurant that you go to. What's that place you go to? That's better than Lovoli's up by my friend's house. Up there, up there.

You go to a fucking Italian supermarket. Pepinos. Uncle Giuseppi. You ever see the guy who teaches how to cook there? No. He should just shoot himself. That is the boringest cook in the world. And it's the same Italian shit that, you know,

I'm going to teach you today how to make, you know, and you see him and he's got the chick from Channel 12. I wouldn't eat that shit. I wouldn't even go down there. Because if it's going to make me that boring, I don't want to eat that fucking food. You don't want to eat that fucking food. You know, and we all watch like,

I try watching that TV show at night, but he always wins. And that's bullshit. That guy always wins. Bobby Flea. You can bring a chink from fucking China to make the best Chinese dish, and Bobby Flay always beats him. I'm not watching. Beat his ass. He's going to beat his ass.

A couple weeks ago, he beat up an African guy. The guy had a dish in his fucking mouth, blah, blah, blah, blah. He's cooking with him, he's pulling vegetables out of that dish in the mouth. Fresno peppers. Throwing him in there and fucking Bobby Flay beats him. And three white people judge it. Give me a black applicant in there. So let me know what's really crack in the locker.

Yeah. He beats everybody. No. He beats everybody. No. Even in their own, he can come to the vet. He's worse than the Knicks. He only wins away.

That guy can come to England and fucking, you know, it's amazing. Dude, you're upset. Like you lost a bet again from Bobby Flay. I thought against my wife one night, my daughter. Because I'm like, how to fuck of this Chinese guy? I got to lose. You know, this guy can't talk. He's got a cat on his shoulder.

He's a fucking lock And Bobby Flegg just beats him And I'm like, nah This motherfucker And you had chef La Roissy Is his name the Italian guy That molested somebody Badali, Badali

Yeah, that poor bastard He made a come back I know those orange frogs Nobody buying into that motherfucker Oh, you see that in an alleyway Batali No, this is another guy What was the guy 20 years ago

The Italian guy? His pasta's good But these pasta is good I swear His recipes are crazy Emeraldagasy Amarola Lagasy He did some too

Bam, yeah Bam Bam he did something better than bang I mean there's times I show you videos to people And we just fucking die a laughter And I'm the comic

And I'm like look at this When you sit there on the thing Waiting by the stove And the fucking hitting shit What makes a fire coming up his ass Yeah the fire coming out of his ass And you know at the end of that's what people want to see That's why you're so memorable.

That's why you went from 5,000 people to 600,000. See. It's like now I'm seeing people doing dates. Hi, I'm going to be in Chicago on set. It's the most boringest video. I won't go see you. No. I wouldn't go see you.

You want to feel the... I want to see you. I want to see you. Here I am at the corner of Chicago. Watch this. You know, I'm sorry. I know Joey's going to get mad at me. You know what I'm saying?

Tape a fucking bum getting kicked or something. Then go, I'll be in Chicago all week. That's what sells. You walking, like I saw some of a friend of mine here in front of a brick wall. I think he's about to get shot. Like, they were going to show. All right, I'm going to be in Kentucky Friday and Saturday. Well, that's where I'm not going to be.

Done. Not going to be. So how did you? So because now I see your story. He went to acting class, the leotod. I hate that shit. The French do, because those French cooks got to stick up their ass. No, no.

They do have a stick up their ass. He was the first chef that has ever thrown food like ever, Ludo Lavev is like a true S.S.C. And they correct you on everything. No, everything. What the fuck is your program? What the fuck is this? And then there goes your steak that you just work 15 minutes on. And then he yells to you, I need a steak now.

I was like, bro, you just had a... It was a bull-lulu. But truly the energy just comes from like, oh yeah, it's pure ADD and pure like intrusive thoughts, you know? Because like, think about it. Whenever someone and like you're watching either a movie or kind of like, even like a family guy episode,

Rago I see there. They always say some gnarly, like, punchline, and then they hit you with the actual scene of, oh, it's Ray Leota buying honey, eto, et ta, eto, whatever. And you're like, what the fuck is this? But for me, it was just this thing of, like, let me try to educate people not just on food, but all the music I use is from, like, the 40s

to like the late 80s, maybe like early 90s, you know? So I could keep giving, people like the culture that like, oh yeah, maybe you were conceived to like this song, you know, babe, I'm gonna love tonight. Lyme would always come on it like, ta-a-tog-tac-ta-dha-a-ha-ba! That's a miera.

It hits a chord that sends you back in time, you know, to when fantasy you would like play on the dance floor and you're like, me-gau-mea-mend if I don't make the move right now, me holdi la Mondea my name, Pamela Henderson in the casida. Okay, it's like... Lee, what's the matter? What are you got a creepy look on your face? What happened?

I don't know what I can... Dude, I, it was so, we were walking here. We took the bus, because you were talking about like the 80s. We were walking here. This very nice lady who was probably in her 40s or 50s almost caused an accident, pulled over and got out of the car like he was the Beatles. And like was taking, called her husband. It's crazy. It was, but it's like I was telling you when we were talking earlier.

Like the thing that you and Joey have just naturally that I wish I had is just like that. And I don't know how you do it. Like the energy that you two can have and get so excited about Pasolito, it's amazing. And then like you make yourself fly with the smoke. There's puppets on your show. Hilarious. When you bring yourself flying with the show. Bro.

It's crazy because it all harkens back to my love for like growing up like, oh yeah. My like mom would be like, oh, you get home from school. You do your homework. Go play outside, whatever the hell. I'd go upstairs and I'd somehow always stumble upon like Pennanteller, right? And these like magicians and whatever. And then the art of illusion kind of started like, hmm, if I have this angle, right, I have all this space that I could either put something in, I could put a box here that I could just step on.

But with the angle, it makes me look like, I'm here, like a fucking quete, baby. And it was this thing where the art of the illusion, I try to keep very like old Hollywood too, you know, like practical stunts. No, like, CGI. Because I don't think, bro, I got Cuban parents. I ain't paying for that shit. And I'm not going to pay for that shit,

I'm not going to pay for that shit, too. But it's this thing where if you keep the practical stunt, like kind of like Charlie Chaplin, right? All of his things were all practical, like Buster Keaton. too, you know, like he'd be hanging off a thing and you'd be like, oh my God, he's actually doing this, but it's just the illusion of the painting in the back, eto, and the camera shot. With all this and trying to hone it into this little like 16 by 9, like frame, I go, I have so much room here that I'm going to try to give them all my energy, you know,

so they could stay one, like, attentive, but every video, you're going to watch me, like, grow, meaning as in like I'm going to try to get better at the editing, whether it just be something tiny or I'm going to add a puppet. Because, oh, yeah, people in Miami, conio, it's hard to find some talent. You know, so I go, yeah, here, no, let's bring out the little puppet. So, and now I have Paco, you know. And then when I have Paco there, it's funny, because the kids are also really into it. Also, my, my, like, demographic blows my mind.

Because everyone swears on their mother that, like, I have, like, two crack rocks up my nose every time I do a video. Okay, it's like, come on everybody, everybody, but no, bro, it's a colada, a bit of marijuana,

and I just go, let's cook some good food, but make sure that everyone gets the same knowledge, fun time, and kind of this like escape from, like, religion, politics,

all the miherda that's going on for, like, everyone. I just give you a space where I go, today, you might see Paco, tomorrow, you might see burrito sabanero

talking, but you're also going to learn something. So when you're out on a day, or something like, and she goes, oh, do you know how to cook? You go, yeah, because if you don't know how to cook and do taeis and bro, cook just like you were saying, like take the time, go out, buy yourself some nice ingredients, right? And then when you cook it and you see and just follow along on these very like simplified,

like it's not about measuring and that's like another thing, where it's all about taste and feel, even if you don't know how to do it, I always tell people, just cocina, without fear, because if you cook with fear, it shows in your food and whatever you do, you know?

So if you just go into it where it's like simple steps, you first put this, and this, and etchal le to that mjada, it comes out like a different animal and I feel like the energy is just like the passion,

you know, where, like, I'm passionate about this shit where like if you tell me, I'm hungry, I'll go, dude, show me the closest market and I'll go in there.

I'll be like, give me that, that, that, that, Fugata, boom, seven course meo, but it's nothing fancy, no fucking fru-frou. I don't want the Michelin Star, because it all of ways. It's just a lot of love, a lot of compassion, and just like, ohie, this is just me sharing a story with you and hopefully you like taste this and it'll transcend that flavor memory and send you back in time to when your mom, your dad, your abuelo, your abuela did something

because that is what I think this generation is missing, is that heart like cord of like conno you know like i came from like this awesome culture you know where these motherfuckers just order food see and they get delivered to have no culture it's a fucking food it blows my mind you got the fucking guy touching your food because i don't trust those people no i know if i'm driving food and i'm broke no i'm smoking dope i'm taking your pepperoni over your yeah you're taking a piece of shrimp from you yeah there's always something serving shrimp here only it's pretty weird last week i did a podcast with liaba i love to see everything I love when people tell you a story

how something came together. And I compared it to the new documentary about Led Zeppelin and Peewey's documentary. He showed you the beginning stages of something completely different, but it all ended there, you know? Lee talks about energy. You talk about energy.

I learned about energy as a salesman. Nobody wants to buy a car from high. What are you looking for? A V8, yeah, we have them. Let me go get a key for you, okay dokey. They don't want that. Hey, how the fuck are you doing?

How are you? Well, we're just looking. Listen, there's a mall down the corner and there's a thousand cars. You go down there and look. Okay, but I'm just kidding you. Listen, come on up. My name is Joey.

Welcome to fuck in the motor company here. Let's do this. Then you walk inside. You're like, I don't have a license. I'm just teasing. You know, I'm going to fucking with them. You're fucking with them, but at the same time you're pressuring them.

Exactly. You don't even feel it. You're pressure with them. Because if I just come out and go, no, go to the mall look. No. No, I'm talking with you, but I'm telling you right. And then you look at them straight to face and go,

listen, I'm going to take good care of you. But you're going to buy a car today, right? Ah, I just got you. They don't even know what happened. Right. They don't even know what happened. Energy is lost. Energy is your key to when you want to make a point.

Yeah. You were going to see a comment, well, and some guys have a deadpan delivery, and that's what they do. So you have to respect that. But there's guys you go see that, you're just making me want to take a shit. I just, I came here to laugh and giggle,

and you're funny, but you're not taking me there. I got too much breathing in between. I don't want that. When a guy wins a fight, how does he win a fight? By throwing one punch? No, he fucking berates him.

He fucking berates him. Then he sees an opening, and he jumps on him, and he keeps fucking punch him. And he keeps fucking punch him. you. That's energy. That's what energy does. And it's not something that you

could take a pill for. You could do colds. You could do speed. No. Energy is something that comes from your stomach. It comes from within. It's from within you. It's a switch that just goes off. You know? How many shows we do together? A thousand? How many times I complain to you and you about

a show? I don't have no material. But as soon as I hit that fucking microphone, I'm like, you ever see the movie Carrie? It's a microphone and gets electrician. That's it. Once I touch that microphone, I don't give a fuck about my wife, my daughter, what I'm feeling,

my foot hurts, I just got out of the hospital. Doesn't matter. Because what's going to sell that joke? What's going to sell your performance? What's going to sell whatever you're trying to sell? Is the energy factor. Yeah. The energy factor.

It's like, you want, you ever go something? Like, I remember coming from L.A. and New York City, and I would go to the stand, comedy club, and I would go outside to smoke a joy. And there was nights I'd have to throw the joint away And go inside because the cars were moving so fast on Broadway Oh, where the fuck I was

Foon, boom, boom, boom, lights are switching. Beep, beep, beep, walk the street. And you're like, holy fuck, I don't get this in L.A. I don't get this. The only time I get this if I go to Vegas for the weekend, B, B, B, B, B, B, lights, and people walking, hey. So I would have to slow it down. That's what I'm doing to you.

I'm slowing you to fuck down. I don't want you to get anxiety, but I want to get your attention. I want people to say, I'm not taking my eye off him. Because if I do, something might happen. I want the waitress to drop a dish, to drop a fucking thing of glasses and see how many people actually react to her.

If you're doing your job, they won't react to her. That's where energy comes in. Your energy beats everybody else's energy. Energy is very important when you're selling. You sell on your feet and you clothes on your ass. But you sell on your feet. That's car salesman shit So when I was selling cars

I didn't know I was becoming a salesman A comic I was already becoming a comic I'm sorry, not a cellar I was becoming a comic From doing comedy I brought that into my Comedic career

When I became a comic People are like well I don't know what to do if you don't get work Bitch You get up on Monday What are you doing you need a car You get there and you call Everybody who came in the last three weeks

How are you doing? We're having a sale to it There's no sale There's no sale. No. There's no sale. But my energy, I'm so excited. This car is in. You looked at it.

I spoke to the boss. He says he'd get you 20% off. He ain't going to give you 20% off. But I'm selling you to come down. I got to get you to come down. That, you know, Aubrey comic, you talked, I'm trying to sell tickets.

Well, guess what? The connection is you making somebody at home actually get up and come to your show. When I worked to the sports betting system, they didn't have, credit cards back then, so you had to do everything in Western Union. Louise, are you going to call me at 7 o'clock and the Celtics are playing at 7.30 or 5? You call me at 7 for the hot pick because you lost three in a row and I'm like, we can do this.

But you got to run the Western Union real quick. Jesus. And if you do have a Visa card, you can call Western Union and send me the 500 with the visa card. But you don't have a visa card because you're a degenerate gambler. So is what you're going to do. You're going to go inside. You're going to get the $500. and you're going to go to, you know how many times people call me at 725 with the 10-digit confirmation number?

I made them. Get up off their ass to come and pay me for a pick that's just as good as they were going to have. Right. Okay? Just as good as they were going to have. I got the pick the same way they're going to make that pick. I'm no special in them. What got them to get up?

The excitement. You know what, George? What are you doing right now? I'm looking at the sea with the Knicks are going. You know what I'm doing? I'm getting my dick sucked, and the chick is rubbing my feet. That's from what I won Sunday

when the fucking Indiana Pacers beat the Knicks. And you know what? If my team wins tonight, I'm going to get two other chicks to rub this one and two other chicks to lick my balls while the other two are here. What are you doing? You're sitting there in your grandmother's house.

You want to live like me, don't you? Yes, I do. You want your dick sucked every night. Yes, I do. Well, it starts by you going on the Western Union. and pay me my 500 bucks. And I guarantee you on Friday, I have a game coming on Thursday. If you think tonight's game is big, forget it.

I got a game on Thursday. Let me tell you what's going to be doing Friday morning. You wake up, you're going to call a limo company. And they're going, what limo company? The limo company. Not going to matter, because I'm going to put 10-5 in your pocket by Friday. I'm going to talk money. 10-5.

That gets you two hookers, a limo, a bag of Coke, and I'll get your free room in Atlantic City. they're never going to win. So then I'm going to go to Atlantic City. I'm never going to get him in the room anyway. But I didn't call him and go hi. My name is Joey. No, I call him.

Hey, Joey here. Grab, grab, grab. Listen, listen to me. Grab the fucking pen because we're not losing tonight. Why am I grabbing a pen? Because your mother sucked. She made a mistake. That's why you're grabbing a pen.

Grab a pen. You're going to send $200. I just take you $200 a hour or two days. It's the energy. guys. And that's why his videos will capture you and go, what the fuck is he talking about? You're not even worried about the recipe. That's what you know you're that good when you're not like the recipe.

I got to the end of a couple of his videos. I don't even know what he put in that thing. But that's how do you, as someone who I don't feel like I have that energy. But sometimes I do, but how do you just like manufacture it? Like how do you create? A number of science class in grammar school? Yeah, kinetic and potential energy. Z.

Okay. What's kinetic energy, energy in motion? Okay. And potential energy is you standing there, eating fucking amino acids, getting ready to take off to chase that fucking black dude. You've got to chase a black dude.

He's 10 times quicker than you. How are you going to catch him? You're not going to catch him with your stupid speed. You're going to sit there for 15 minutes and go, how am I going to catch this black motherfucker? Okay, I'm going to have to eat this. I'm going to have to eat this. And that's all potential.

energy. Potential. So when you get to the show at 7.30, I don't, I don't suggest that you do this, but you have to do this. You have to psych yourself out. Same. And tell yourself you're going to suck. Your mother sucks. They're going to bomb you. You're not going to get paid. You're going to paint yourself into a scenario. You're going to put yourself in a corner like a fucking rat. Yeah. And all that's surrounded is you're not a guy with a broomstick. It's all your self-hatred, all yourself doubts. I got plenty of that. Yeah, I'm gonna bomb, I'm bald, I'm fat, I got a missing fucking tooth, I got a big nose, I got expanded on my ear, they're not gonna like me. I'm 62, I'm old, they're gonna, all that changes. That's where your energy comes from. That's when

I just smacked you in the face 10 times and made you sit down and I'm bragging to George how I smacked you in the face 10 times. And one of the times when I take my eye off you, you're gonna get up with a right fucking hook and level me right in the fucking jaw. And it's not going to be your punch that knocks me out. It's the momentum of you coming off that couch with your legs.

You're going to put everything into it. I'm going to go down like a bad habit. That's called potential energy. Okay, so I want you to psych yourself out. Okay. So that energy, you back yourself into a wall. Forget about the owners here. Forget about who's in the back watching you.

This is you. the world. So your energy will come. You're not going to let me just throw you around and fuck you in the ass, are you? You're going to try to resist it. You're going to put a leg up. You're going to do stuff with my ass mouths. I have to watch my ass in a week and I have

an amyroid. That's how you build energy. You're in a fucking hole. You're getting out of that. You're not going to get out of that hole by going, hello. Hello? Anybody out there? No. You're going to fucking yell, and then eventually, what's all?

Silence of the lens. When she's yelling and she starts making the thing and the plan and he gets the dog, I'll snap his fucking neck, you know. Don't kill my boo-bo. Lotion. Clarice. It's time to watch that movie again. Put his dick between his legs and starts dancing.

She was gnarly. Here's the funny thing. When the guy puts his dick between his legs and starts dancing, you're like, How'd they know I did that? They got me. Because we all did that shit. Oh my God, I got a pussy. Meatball sub.

No, I don't get the pussy. And your energy comes out from the mirror. Fuck you. You have to do a chef, Brad, after dark, and just come out like that. Oh, yeah. See, no, no, I'll do the meatball sub. You do the up and tug and then you turn around. And then you go, me, that is.

It's like a subway. It's hilarious. No, but everything you're saying is true. It's that it's the potential and the kinetic. energy literally it comes from the moment of like think of it game seven 10 seconds left you have the ball it's i put it back there but then bian think about all those bitches that fucked you up think about that time that you wanted something so fucking bad and you didn't get it and you go what the fuck can i do to get this shit for me i think the energy came tam tam bien from when i stopped taking

80D pills, right? When I was a kid, 13 years old mom put me on this shit, by 15, I go, no, fuck this shit, okay. Every time I would get in the car, she'd be like, so, how's your day? And I'd be like, I want to die. And like, she's like, what the fuck? Why? And I was like, no, bro, because I just know how to work the parents, you know?

Okay, the energy sells, right? So we know when to like, wait, keep the energy down to kind of paint the picture of, oh yeah, I really don't want to do this homework, or I'm going to kill myself. And the next day I'm at Dr. Wagner's office and I'm sitting there for an hour and a half right and I'm juggling this fucking psychiatrist like a bitch right he's there bro I'm fucking like 10 years old bro and I'm juggling this motherfucker like a bitch et ta wa'i right and like he's like oh for an hour and a half just ala me bro just like oh so how's this or whatever whatever I look at him and I go so are you

gonna ask me and like he goes as you what bro I didn't want to do math and I said that I'd kill myself he goes so are you going to kill yourself i go no bro i just fucking hate homework dude and this kid goes or like this psychiatrist i calls my like mom and he's like oh yeah bro just take him off like whatever just keep him on this ad-d medication don't don't take them off right every day this bitch will give me these pills i just throw them in the car see one day the fucking dog bro i used to take my dog to school et ter perro i like put it there and like his tongue is all sticky and shit right grabs this little pill and he's put in there, right? And I'm holding this dog. This dog just starts getting like, bro, what the fuck is wrong? This dog, this perro, just I was there, like,

sent out. No, no, it wasn't dead. Thank God. This dog, I put it on the chair. I've never seen this dog, just, just straight up as I get home that day. The dog is staring at the wall, bro. He ate the adro? Bro, yeah, teherr. It was nuts. Pocke, I would never take it. And then the moment I got off of it, that is when the end. energy stayed. All of these like different pills, poque tanta mucacha, bro. Every bitch I know goes, oh no, I'm on it with you. I just need to take a little pill. And I'm like, bitch. That's just to my man in Austin. I go, I go,

a girl gave me that night though. No, no, I bet. I bet. But it's like all these bitches, oh no, I'm a little sad. And I'm like, bitch, you're about to be sadder in like six hours. Holy shit. If you think you're sad now, but I bought it. You didn't like the ador all? No, I've never done it. I, People always think. I did it. And then they switched me to this other one called Quilivan where I was like, they're being a bro.

What the fuck are these names? Like, what are you going to start? I just don't stick anything in my ass. You know, like whatever. But once I realized what it did, right? Where like I'd go to school and by 8.30, I was like this.

And then like I'd be sitting there and I'd be like, life and time is just moving past me. But I want to say shit, but I can't. Then I stopped taking it. And I'm sitting there in class. Oh my fucking God. I'm like, what's up, bitch? I need this, this, this, whatever.

Boy, you went to, like, lengths of, like, just, I loved to, like, just make sure that everyone was okay, you know? But that's where that salesmanship energy and that, like, you learn it as, like, everything happens. But for me, I always say, the pills and do that, never do a bit, but it'll just change that energy for you. Energy comes from the passion and all the hatred and all the shit that's hurt you in your life and you just turn that shit around you go you know what fuck bro this is gonna kill me if

i don't do well and when the cameras turns on and when the lights go on it's like all that shit goes away goes away and i i'm not trying to argue with you the problem i run into is i i'll say that bad shit to myself and i'll i'll talk myself out of doing something i'm like oh they don't want to see this or this is bad they don't want to hear from me no so like i don't i don't know how to you're not beating yourself that up you you're working on the day. You're not thinking about your bits. You're not breaking that and your bits here. You're just thinking about they're going to hate you overall. You're thinking about all the shit people said to you. You're thinking about the little insecurities you have in your mind,

and the energy comes from you proving a point to yourself. Okay. And the energy, you know, energy sells. Energy is enthusiasm. Enthusiasm always fucking sells, you know. Brad, what's your next move? Oh yeah, next move, I hopefully, hopefully I want to do a cookbook. So either a kid's cookbook and like a Cuban like major cookbook too, but because my like demographic I feel like is like a lot of kids and like people that just need the like recipes. I kind of want to do like a fun like cookbook, you know, like very like outlandish make it great where it's like kind of like the joy of cooking, but there's pop-ups, there's things. No, you should fucking do.

You should take these Instagram pages. and do like a fucking, what's that shit that people pay you to make videos? Only fans? No, no. No, not too. Mira that's. Only fans with a fucking steak on your dick,

you know what I'm saying? Like a fucking. Black beans and rice. Black beans and rice. Look at this motor, Maduro from the waist down, bitch. No, what's that shit? Cameo. Cameo?

Oh, no. I would love to, like, if I could just call somebody and say, I need a video on your recipe. Oh, see. You know, like a video library that you create Just like what you're doing here. See. You should put all those in video library

And people could always be... In the next two years, shit's going to come on The computer's going to blow your mind. Oh, yeah. And I've always said, listen, The computer is a fucking gold mine for money. Oh, it is nuts. If you attack it the right way,

there's a fortune under that shit. Yeah. And that might be the future. You know, and while I go back your cooking videos, it's not a half hour. No, no. To, you mean, I love that chick that cooks with Snoop Dog.

What's that blonde? Martha Stewart. Oh, tremendous. All those dishes take an hour. I ain't got an album. No. I don't want to really learn how to bake or, but bake the most important Cuban stuff. Like, Matalayao.

That's what people like. I love Papalito-Aa-Av. Once you put the cheese in there, you lose me. No, same. When I was a kid, when I was a kid, this is how of a Cuban house I grew up in. We lived on 88th Street. Dessert was always a piece of yaba with the cream cheese and a Cuban cracker. My mom would drink the coffee, and then they would do a line of Coke

because of the digestion. That was a Cuban dessert in the 70s. A line of Coke for the digestion. Then they'd sit there and go, man, that line of Coke is doing me a lot of goods. You sit there. How come I can't do what I'm done? My tummy hurts. Oh, my God.

I'm happy that you fucking came here today. I want to people see what you're about, and I want people to go to Chef Brad, the Page. If you want to learn how to cook Cuban, He's got pumpkin on there He's got so many different recipes Everything He just doesn't cook Cuban

He makes steaks on there He does a fucking phenomenal job man So follow him What do you got going on Lee? You're going to Tampa this weekend Fuck you I'll be in Tampa Seven shows Two shows six o'clock on Saturday

7 o'clock on Sunday I'm headlining the rest of the week I'm opening up for Greg Fitzsimmons But six o'clock Saturday Look at the energy Look at the energy Let's try You go!

Run the fucking go to put it too for bitch You're that fucking bitch. I'm trying my best. We have tickets going on sale Thursday or Friday. Go to the Hard Rock Casino in Fort Lauderdale. Tickets go on sale Friday

the fourth which is Thursday I think. What are the fourth is? Yeah. Two, three, four on Thursday. The fourth is Wednesday. The tickets officially go on sale on Friday for Hard Rock Casino, Fort Lauderdale, September 6th, the night before the day.

Dolphins play. I don't know who they're playing yet. So it's going to be a good fucking weekend. Lee will be there. Chef Brad will be there. George will be there. Nick will be there. We're chartering a flight right from fucking Teeterboro.

We're going deep. Fuck it. It's the flight fall. I'm breaking even. I don't give a fuck. I'm breaking even. You're like, fuck Newark. You're just renting a Teeterboro.

We're going to go do the whole video for them, get 20% off. I'm going to break even on the gig. I don't give a fuck. Just to say me and my boys One of a private jet. Oh shit. Get a steak on that motherfucker.

Bring a cat. Bring a fucking cat just to show people the power. I'm flying everything. A cat or cow? I'm like Ponticorvo's deli on 40. I saw that the other day. That's still there, George. When I was a kid, my mother would go there.

Like if you were doing a santaria ritual, or somebody was sick, your mother would go get you the chicken. Exactly. It's on 54th Street in Bergen-Line Avenue. It used to be huge. When I was a kid, they had, it was Italian people, so they were the mafia, they had bears, they had fucking lions in the back.

I can tell you anything, but the front, they had like chickens and roosters and fucking, and the guy was like, fuck, he was missing an eye, and he come out like with a lip, ah. And you tell him, like, let me get a chicken. And as soon as he turned, all the chickens would run to the back of the cage and start, and he would walk to the cage,

and just what's chicken you want, that one. And he would just stick his hand back there, break his fucking neck and then slam him on his leg. You were like, what the fuck? Look up! They had a machine where they'd be feathered it. Remember the feather? They'd throw it in there, and the feather would come out,

and then your mother would give you a little cooked chicken. It wasn't even cooked. It was just pieced out. Fucking tremendous, and the chicken was always yummy in that. I saw it the other down. I can't believe that thing is still there. People are still buying. That's Spanish people.

Dang. They don't fucking buy, fuck that fucking, what's his name, Purdue? Cuban people don't eat that Purdue chicken with the fucking Vegas. That's Cisco shit. Fuck you.

They get the real chickens down there. You obviously go to a Mexican restaurant to actually put the chicken paw in the suit? Remember they put the fucking leg in the suit? It goes here. Collagen, baby. You're like, no. That toes got fungi on it.

I'm not even that motherfucker. So June 4th, Fort Lauderdale, Lee Syatt, We'll be at the Tampa. Side splitters. Seven shows. Please go support him and bring him a Cuban sandwich. See.

Yeah, he's going to be in Tampa all weekend where the Cuban sandwich is said to be invented. I hate doing that little faggy thing. My name is Chad. Hi. But, yeah, go check Lee out this weekend. If you're in Tampa, follow my man, Chef Brad. It's a great follow. The only fucking webpage I like as much as his Instagram page.

and for you people who have been bugging me for the last month, I'm going to tell you again. Crazy girl Maggie lives in Columbia. I've never met Maggie. Some guy sent me an email the other like, you're cheating on your wife. And I'm like, dog, she lives in Medellín, Columbus. I've never met her.

We make videos. She sends me videos, I put them up. Well, this has to stop, because it seems like you're cheating. Well, okay, then I'm cheating. Long distance, I guess. I don't fucking know. She's 20-something. I'm 62.

Yeah, that's what she wants. A 62-year-old fucking man. Did you see her body? Did you see your ass? She can have fucking George Cooney if she wants. She's going to fucking talk to a 65-year-old fat fuck with missing teeth. What the fuck is wrong with you, motherfuckers? Anyway, get your tickets before a lot of deal.

I want to thank Chef Brad. I want to thank Chef Brad. I want to thank Lee Syatt. Look, he's not high today. We gave him a pass this week. We're getting heavy duty. I had something for him, but the shit I'm going to give him. He won't make it to Tampa.

And I don't want to hear him crying. I miss my. flight and all this shit. Every Tuesday I got to call Lee and it's always something. What? You know how I feel. Lee, what's going on? How are you doing today? You know. I don't know. You know. I did 2,000 milligrams, you know.

And I'm like, Lee, and then he's like questioning me. How come you don't feel that way? Well, because I got up. I smoked a joint to get a bite of the animal that bit me last night. And I'm sweating it out at the gym. But Leo sit there like, I don't know what to do. Well, fucking get up, cuck, sucker. Take a shit and smoke some refit. I do that all the time.

No, you don't. You don't smoke in the day, too. I know you, motherfucker. Anyway, we'll see you next week. Tip Top, Magoo. Don't forget, UFC 316. Don't forget the basketball finals start on Thursday. And I'll see you motherfuckers next week.

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