The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - Cheeseburgers and cocaine

Episode Date: August 26, 2025

Kathrine Narducci, who you remember from The Sopranos, The Bronx Tale, and much more, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt to talk about everything from being under the ether, loyalty (even to a pizza place)..., the important of, "the moment before." and the beauty of acting. SHOW NOTES If you're 21 or older, get 25% OFF your first order + free shipping @IndaCloud with code CHURCH at https://inda.shop/CHURCH  #indacloudpod Support the show, download the DraftKings Sportsbook app, and press in code JOEY. New customers bet $5 & get $300 in bonus bets instantly.s

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Starting point is 00:00:02 Kick this motherfucker, Neil Lee. What's happened, you savages, were back like herpes, Uncle Joey, and my trusted little Cato, Lee Syatt, aka the Flying Jew, the church of what's happening now, New Testament, is coming at you. What's happening, brother?
Starting point is 00:00:41 Good to see you, dude. Good to see you. How was your weekend? I had a great time at Parks. You did? Parks was fucking really cool. I had a really good New Jersey. I actually, Parks is Pennsylvania,
Starting point is 00:00:52 but I started. I did our buddy Pedro show. in New Jersey, which is my I love my favorite shows now and I love doing shows with you, but our shows were like I have to, it's basically like a fist fight. Like it was just at a bar, people were heckling the whole just talking
Starting point is 00:01:06 and they were funnier than some of the comics, which is my favorite, is when the people at the bar, especially in New Jersey, they're funnier than some of the comics. And that was a blast. George came. Thank you very much. And then we did parks, which was, I've probably done parks like six or so times.
Starting point is 00:01:22 We did it before you had this residence. I think this was the best I've done there. And it's because you fucking made me cut 20 minutes of my act. Oh, it was brutal. About having kids. You got no fucking kids. You gave a chick that had kids four years ago, and you're still saying they told your titty's chubby and all that shit.
Starting point is 00:01:41 Knock it off. Well, it worked. It was... I knew it was going to work. It was crazy. But do you see how material works? You have to let it go like a fucking... A girlfriend with herpes.
Starting point is 00:01:53 You got to let them go. You can't call them. back. That's it. She gave me the fucking hurt for Thanksgiving. I'm done. For Thanksgiving. That's the fucking discipline. I ain't going back to that. Right. Yeah, but it's hard to get rid of it, especially
Starting point is 00:02:06 I don't know, I hold on to it like it's like a life raft. I'm in the Titanic. Get rid of it. Get rid of it. Nobody wants to hear it. Get rid of it. But you get rid of stuff like a week in. If they're just laughing from the top, I ain't want to say it. Right. I want to dig into them. And trust me, I ain't doing
Starting point is 00:02:22 a good job of digging in it either. But that's what I'm saying to you, that when you, you know what material's not working. We all have material that's, when you first start headlining, you go from doing 20 minutes at the club every night in California to doing 45 to an hour. Yeah, you're going to put 10 minutes in there. That's going to lullaby them until you build. But you're going to put it in the medium. They've already been dead for the first 20 minutes. So from 23 to 30 minutes, you might have a stupid story about your grandmother that's two,
Starting point is 00:02:54 people laugh at. That's stalling. I do it too. No, everybody does it. But then those last 15 minutes, you picked that shit up, like a fucking... And I was closing with it. It was the best, it was the, like, I thought, it got laughs in certain rooms, but it had started to, like, wane off. And then when you told me to get rid of it, I was not mad, I don't want to say mad, but I was like, how can I get rid of 20 minutes? Like, it's not... Thank God. Jesus Christ. I think when I get rid of material, that's what I say to myself, thank fucking God. I don't have to do that stupid fucking joking. Oh, I. I don't have to do that stupid fucking joking. Oh, I'm at the point
Starting point is 00:03:25 where I'm just trying to get material. And then five years from now, when you look at that YouTube tape, you're going to go, thank God he told me to get rid of that material. Right. Thank God I got rid of that and everything else I sat on that fucking 30 minutes special. That's how I feel. I looked at something last week I was preparing for the weekend and I
Starting point is 00:03:41 looked at an old tape and I was like, oh my God, I got to shut this shit off. But then how come when you're doing it and it's killing you're like, this is going great? Because you're under the ether. Your mind is playing tricks on you. It's like when you do a shitty movie, but you think it's fucking great. And on the set, everybody's talking about, oh, my God, and all of a sudden the movie comes out, and nothing happens. And you're like, and you look at the movie again and go, Jesus Christ, they're right.
Starting point is 00:04:11 It's the same thing. We do it all the time. We meet a girl. We expect them. They're single, and all of a sudden, we start fucking projecting, we're going to do this. I'm going to take her here, and all of a sudden. She stops calling you back. What the fuck? Right. Ether is a motherfucker. Ether is horrible.
Starting point is 00:04:32 And you, like, now I learn how to catch it. But I'm 60. I didn't need it now. I needed it 30 fucking years ago. When I was doing something, I could say in the middle of it, this sucks. I'm out of here.
Starting point is 00:04:42 I was thinking about that the other day. Isn't it fucked up? Like, you know the most, and then you have, like, no time left? Yeah. You get wise at the end, and then you got three years left. I know how to swindle Social Security now, you know, it's fucking crazy.
Starting point is 00:04:57 The things you learn about yourself when it's too late. Like after you hit somebody in the head with an iron, you learn, you know, restraint control or whatever the fuck they talk about. Anger management? Yeah, anger management. You don't know all these things. And ether's one of those things. You know, when a girl gets married, she's under the fucking ether.
Starting point is 00:05:17 She's retarded. From the minute she gets to engagement ring to the day she walks on. on the aisle, she's damaged goods. She's going to, everything is great. The fucking pigeons are great. The mother's going to dress in black. It's like a constant fucking mind fuck. And it's the ether.
Starting point is 00:05:33 I'm going to do this. And Cindy's coming. And who gives a fuck about Cindy? We forgot what the fuck this day is about. So it's ether. Right. It's ether. It's about you and her lasting forever.
Starting point is 00:05:46 I don't want to go to a wedding. But while I'm on the wedding, I'm like, let's see if the odds are on draft king. Let's see of the I-Jan fan do. You see it. Years ago, the fucking guy from San Antonio married the Mexican chick from Desperate Housewives. Nobody remembers that?
Starting point is 00:06:02 Tony Parker. They had a $50 million wedding. White pigeons, limos, white people, the whole fucking thing. He's black, she's fucking Mexican. They had white people there. Oprah was there. Then he cheated on her with the Mexican housekeeper
Starting point is 00:06:18 two years later. You know, the chubby chick from the view. That fucking retard. The chubby black chick. She had a big wedding, Long Island, Oprah, the Hamptons, everybody. He was fucking some ugly black chick three weeks later. You're under the ether. And you actually know he's fucking that chick.
Starting point is 00:06:39 But as a woman, you're under the ether. You're getting married, motherfucker. His dick's been smelling weird. His brett's been smelling weird. He's been fucking staying out on hours. But you're getting married. You're getting married. So, and then after you get married a year in, you're like, this motherfucker's been cheating on me since day one.
Starting point is 00:06:56 But you were too busy under the ether because pigeons were going to get thrown out at your fucking wedding. You dumb motherfucker. Well, like, your industry is kind of weird. Like, don't people get married as, like, entertainers or anybody just for, like, a business thing? Like, they do it knowing they don't love each other, knowing it's just for, like, four, like. Well, probably those Hollywood animals get married, you know, fucking, uh, the vampire and Katie. Perry, she's retarded, you know, the vampire. You know, that kid, Russell Brand, the vampire, whatever's fucking name is. I forgot about him. You know, these people, you know, they fall,
Starting point is 00:07:30 and that's the worst, those Hollywood couples, because it's all fucking ether. It's all ether. What about, I keep seeing, because I think his show's out now, Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob, like, when he had her blood around it and, like, they were like making out on the red carpet. Discussed. Discussed. Who's your father? Who raised you? But no, Well, we're just talking about is what really happens to people. Right. We really go under the ether. And you could ask professional athletes, they'll tell you.
Starting point is 00:08:00 That season, I didn't know what was going on. I was banging my baby's mama. I was doing this. I was doing that. You know, it's fucking hard, man. And we all fall under that. What, like, do you have a sign or, like, how do you notice you're under the ether? When you go see the finished result or when you see your set or you see how your set does or
Starting point is 00:08:20 it's just something that you snap out of it once you fucking see it once you see it you snap the fuck out of it is that why like when like you see like athletes and then you understand the whole how it got there do you understand me like once you see it go down you go oh shit
Starting point is 00:08:39 you know this Netflix special I was doing comedy everywhere in town but at the comedy store because in my mind I thought that those people like those 240 people were going to add up and everybody was going to see my jokes. So I went to all these clubs that I wouldn't perform usually at.
Starting point is 00:08:57 When I shot the special as I walked out of there, I knew the ether. In my mind, I thought if I didn't go to the store, I would do better. It was a fucking stupid move. Thank God I recognize that. But I've done that 20 times.
Starting point is 00:09:12 And I'm not just the only one. We have all done that. How many times have you shot a pilot? We shot a pilot. And everybody's giggling at the pilot. Ha! That's the funniest fucking thing! And then the pilot don't get picked up.
Starting point is 00:09:26 You already bought the house, so now you gotta suck dick and start an only fans. Because you listen to everybody, and you bought a house. A half million in Long Island with your husband who's a plumber. You know, he's barely making it, you know? New construction's down 80%, but you hooked up with a fucking plumber. Okay.
Starting point is 00:09:44 That's what it is. That's what it is. You know, and then you read the friend's story where they shot the pilot, they got taken to Vegas, and the motherfucker gave him $500 a piece and said, go in the casino. This is the last time you're going to be able to walk like this, ever. Okay?
Starting point is 00:10:04 So obviously there was no ether there. That was an inside hit job. That's from Israel. They had the six people. That's a, no, anyway. But is it, like, is there a difference? Like, have you, I know for fact the answer is yes. But, like, have you ever gone offstage and been like,
Starting point is 00:10:18 I fucking kill. You know you kill. And what do you think the difference is between that and ether? Well, the fucking proof is in the pudding. You left bodies laying there. Right. It's that special you shot. That as you left there, you're like, oh, my God, that was the best thing I ever did.
Starting point is 00:10:34 And then you see it on HBO and you're like, fuck it. You got to cash your check with a mask on. Oh, Jesus. Okay? Like when they did Soulplane, that was D.L. Hewley's joke. He goes, you guys saw Soulplane. I know you did. He goes, trust me, I was in.
Starting point is 00:10:48 I had a cash check with a Halloween mask up. That's hysterical. That's fucking hilarious. That's the truth. But while you're doing it, think of all the celebrities in that movie. Right. On the way home, you're like, shit, snoop, this, that, Kevin Hart, and all of some, the movie bombs. So it's just, and I'm talking about movies and, you know, albums, comedians.
Starting point is 00:11:09 You know, a special got released last year. I anticipated special. It was dog shit. It was dog shit. There's a lot of those. A lot of those. And what happened? That dude was delusional.
Starting point is 00:11:21 Right. While the specials airing, you're going, oh, no. Because I've been there. While you're looking at the project, you're going, what the fuck was that? What was the guy that played the fucking doctor in the Sopranos at the end with Johnny Sack? Fucking famous, that dude. Famous. At the end, he played the fucking doctor.
Starting point is 00:11:43 Big-time guy. In the fuck, when Johnny Sack was dying a can't. He was telling him, I'm a doctor, I shot my wife, I shot the mailman, because at that point I had to commit, and I shot his, her mother, who was in the other room. That dude was fucking well known. When I moved to L.A. Sidney Pollock? Huh? Sidney Pollock.
Starting point is 00:12:03 Sidney Pollock. Okay? Sydney Pollock, I shot CBS's answer to NYPD Blue. They paid Sidney Pollock a million fucking dollars to direct that. You got to hear me talking shit. I was looking at helicopters, houses in Miami, houses in New York. It was set to go. They told us when we were shooting the pilot.
Starting point is 00:12:25 The pilot was fucking dog shit, and the show never got aired. They were going to use it as a mid-season replacement, but it was such bad dog shit. They couldn't do anything with it. Bronx County. What the fuck? That's what I'm talking. And that's when I learned. I was in there going, holy shit.
Starting point is 00:12:43 I'm going to buy a bolt, a car, everything Tony Montana wanted. Like, I'm gonna get my own fucking island. I'm gonna do everything. And then they're fucking, you know, so you never fucking know any more guys. Just, it's ether. And there's nothing you could do. We control it more as we get older or something. It's like a basketball player.
Starting point is 00:13:04 It's like fucking Fy Slamma Jammer. Against Villanova. Whoever that guy's name. What, Villanova? Who's Fyslamma Jammer? The guy that had cancer. Houston, when they played their, that year.
Starting point is 00:13:18 They gave fucking the other team 13 points. I was in court. I remember. That's when court was in New York City at night. I got arrested buying pot in Harlem. And I had to go to court downtown. And it made me go to court at 7 o'clock the night of the national championship.
Starting point is 00:13:33 I'm running back and forth calling Sports Phone. Putting fucking a dollar in sports phone. It's too low. And in those days, if sports phone was too low, you couldn't adjust the volume. There was no volume. You got beat. You're like, God damn it.
Starting point is 00:13:47 And then you have put another quarter in. Hi, it's sports phone. We come out every 15 minutes. They were given 13 points and then halftime, I think fucking the other team, whatever, was winning by 13 fucking points. They went in there with this ether. They were five slam a channel.
Starting point is 00:14:03 They let the league and fucking this and that and slam dunks and three-pointers. And Valvano just fucking ripped the floor with him. I can't believe you were in court checking a score. Oh, fuck yeah. I'll never forget that. Did you put the bed in? before court? Yes, I did. In those days, there wasn't no drafting. From the phone and the
Starting point is 00:14:22 court host? I don't know. I think I called him a pay phone. That is wild. How are you doing? Louis, Red Corvette. Confirm your number, 648. What do you like? Give me the lines on, there was no fucking halftime or first quarter. They'd give you like a code name? Yeah, you got a code name. Oh, shit. And I used to use my school teacher, had a connection. Okay. And he had a gray cavalier. So that was his name, Gray Cavalier. So I would look at his phone when he called. One day I stole the number, and I started calling Greg Cavalier.
Starting point is 00:14:53 Can me San Diego 50. And I saw him a week later. He's like, somebody's been calling in my account. Also, Mr. McGrath, the quarterback coach. It's not really like the, shouldn't there have been a better way to get a code name? If you're using your car as your code name, listen, Lee. Aren't the cops going to figure it out?
Starting point is 00:15:10 Lee, who gives a fuck? Okay, it was 1982. You think I'm worried about code names in 1980s? I would be. Don't worry about nothing. You've got more problems, cocaine and cheeseburgers. Don't worry about the fucking... You got more problems.
Starting point is 00:15:22 You got problems about cocaine and cheeseburger. Never mind you saying Gray Cavalier over the fucking phone. Okay. I like cheeseburgers. I know you do. And it was 1988 too, so cocaine was in your bloodstream too. I hope you like cocaine. I hope you like cheeseburgers with cocaine used the salt on your cheeseburger.
Starting point is 00:15:41 What do they call that? They call it a black dick. Okay. We'll be right back, cock suckers, with our guests. Hey, Uncle Joe here. I don't know if you guys got the message, but Sundays just got way more fun because college football is back, baby.
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Starting point is 00:18:49 grab a gummy and vibe out within the cloud. I just did. We're back, Jack. Uncle Joey with my girl here. What's your name? Kathleen Narducci. Lorraine Brockow.
Starting point is 00:19:04 No, no, no, no. It's too hard. It's Katvin Narducci, motherfucker. I know. The fucking edible hit me. What's happening, beautiful? What's going on? I haven't seen you in years.
Starting point is 00:19:20 You don't even know are your guests is. Oh, my God. What's up, beautiful? Holy shit. Thank you for coming over. Thank you. I know it's a long hike over on the ferry.
Starting point is 00:19:31 I was like Barbara Streisand on funny girl. Don't rain on my parade. I wanted to sing on the tip of the ship. You can sing now. They love you on the Camerland. Everything is. beautiful everything is warm
Starting point is 00:19:46 there's your new career Broadway musicals listen I don't even want to go into the city Joey the musical Joey the musical that's next I like that's next That sounds catchy doesn't
Starting point is 00:19:59 Yeah yeah I would like to see the musical What are we gonna sing about That's the fucking problem Cocaine cheese burgers Just sing your life out Sing your life out Sing your life out
Starting point is 00:20:07 Some Spanish songs Some Italian song I love it That would be fucking Tell your story singing. Oh, they wait. You know, they say, tell your story walking. Yeah. Tell your story singing. Listen, I can't walk and talk at the same time. Can you tell me? If I'm walking, I'm focusing, I'm walking. Do me a favor. I'm going to give you one acting challenge.
Starting point is 00:20:26 Go ahead. Can I? Yeah. I want you to sing the story that you told me about somebody, we won't say who and told them under the bus, invited you after dinner, but they wanted you to go to an Applebee's. Sing that story. Listen, there's no song to sing that shit. And he grew up with me. And he was like, bro, where do you have this food? $35.
Starting point is 00:20:53 You get an entree and two appetizers. And I'm like, oh, my God. He is gone. And did he tell you about the price first or the restaurant was first? No, he told me the price. And I'm like, this sounds like a commercial. This is Applebee's. I watch TV at night, 12 news.
Starting point is 00:21:09 I watch New Jersey weather. And fucking this is the commercial. commercial they play, Applebees. You see? You heard me tonight before my spiel. I'm very fucking serious about food. And when I was in California, you asked him
Starting point is 00:21:23 how hard I railed him. Because we're fucking East Coast people. We don't need to be reminded of what we can't and can't eat from our childhood. But we're not going to eat shit just to hang out with people. Like I refuse that. Like, I refuse that shit. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:39 Like, if you call me and go, hey, we really want invite you to a table read. And I've done this before. Across from where, up the block from Church's chicken, not churches, the one in L.A. with the fucking Waffle House. Oh, with the Wasco's. Raskos. By the cross the street, there's a studio. A couple blocks from there. Gower Studios.
Starting point is 00:22:00 So Gower Studios. I was supposed to go there for a table reading and shit. And then, like, we're going to take you the lunch first at the Hindu restaurant across the street. And I can't smell curry. And I told them, I can't smell curry. I get sick. And they're like, nah. We're going to have it. It's going to be great. and I go, I'm not going in there, because I'm going to get sick from the curry. I'm telling you, I cannot smell that pungent curry. I don't mind all the other stuff.
Starting point is 00:22:22 It's the curry that bothers me. Yeah, it's a strong smell. And I wouldn't go in there, and I didn't get the road because I wouldn't go. I didn't give a fuck. I don't eat curry. Papa don't eat curry. Wow. I don't want to smell it either.
Starting point is 00:22:33 It makes me sick. My cheeks get red. I'm like, kids are allergic to fucking peanuts. I'm allergic to carry. He also refuses to go to Thai restaurants because one had bugs in it. Yeah. Yeah. No, because I had a friend who had a wife that was Thai, and she didn't do the dishes.
Starting point is 00:22:48 And the kitchen was always dirty, and she had those fruit flies in the kitchen. So if you're a woman and you alive fruit flies in your kitchen, you have fruit flies in your ass. And I don't want to do business with you. And this is why he doesn't eat pad Thai, except he breaks his own rules. See, that's what it gets me. I love that time. I love that time. But I get it from a Japanese place across my house.
Starting point is 00:23:11 That doesn't even make sense. And it's not that good either. You know what I'm saying? I was talking about LA where you're like toy. The best pat tie is toy. Yeah. But I won't go in toy because they make you take your shoes off. Listen, I know my feet smell like.
Starting point is 00:23:22 I've never been to Toy. Toy is right on Shreda down the block from the guitar center. Wait, wait. It is the best. T-O-I. Toy. Not T-O-Y. Toy.
Starting point is 00:23:32 I don't know. What am I spelling bee? I'm my Chinese now. I don't know this shit. Toy. T-O-I. Toy. Toy.
Starting point is 00:23:40 Toy. Okay. I need to know one thing. Can I ask you. question? No. What is the ether? Who?
Starting point is 00:23:46 Ether. Well, you and I were just discussing. What is Ether? Ether, or in common terms, ether is a chemical that they wash cocaine with. In the 80s, we had so many problems. In the 80s, they were using so much ether to clean cocaine. That's why by 87, 88, cocaine started smelling funny because they started taking the ether out and using turpentine and all that shit.
Starting point is 00:24:13 But it's better with ether. It cleanses the cocaine and it gives it that smell. You could get ether. Ether is not what they give you the dentist office. Yeah, they use that to knock out. I know that. I know that ether. But when you use it in terms of the stories you were telling.
Starting point is 00:24:29 Ether is a thing that... You use it and you stand up. Okay, let's say you go buy a car. Yeah. And you want a 2025... Whatever. and it's $80,000. Okay.
Starting point is 00:24:45 But you run into a motherfucking salesman like me. And we start talking and I go, listen, I have the same car on the lot, $40,000, blah, blah, blah, blah. Now you start, I tipped into your ether. You could save $40. Now you're thinking about all the things you could do with the $40. Wait, wait, hold on. Stop right there. What is that ether?
Starting point is 00:25:03 What do you mean? Hold on. Ether is your mind playing tricks on you. Now it starts telling you, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I could cheat on my husband. I could fucking go to a co-play concert. I could afford $40,000 that my husband didn't know. Whatever.
Starting point is 00:25:15 I don't know what your motivation is. But you were worried more about that 40 G's that you bought a fucking lemon. You got so caught up in the money that you didn't even look under the fucking hood. You bought a lemon. And it's ether is when you start believing something. A lie. And we all been in that situation. Okay.
Starting point is 00:25:39 When I was a kid, my mother had a value and she died. And two years later, her value was 20 times the amount that I was going to get. And at the end, that wasn't going to get anything. I was under the ether, not to mention cocaine, quailudes, and all the other fucking things that fucking distort your mind. That's what I'm saying. Okay.
Starting point is 00:25:58 It's called ether. I get it. It's like when you look at a guy that comes out of prison for 10 years and you're going to hook up with him, and I'm going to change him. He's such a sweetheart. He called me when I get home. Yeah. Every guy calls you.
Starting point is 00:26:12 when you get home the first month. How'd you get home? Did you get home safely? How's your mother? Yeah, we all care. Everybody's a sweetheart in the beginning. That's right. And then you have these women,
Starting point is 00:26:21 then they come back with a black guy and a busted nose. He's so sweet. He's rehabilitated. What fucking, because maybe he's got an 18-inch dick and he puts it in your ass and comes out of your fucking ear.
Starting point is 00:26:32 I don't know. I don't fucking know these things, but I do know that there's ether. You ever watch those shows where the black guy gets out of prison and she's dating a fat little blonde chick from Louisiana or something. They had that show on one of those
Starting point is 00:26:47 with the midgets. They have a show with the midgets. I've never seen this show. That's dedicated to all this week. Oh, TLC? TLC. Okay, I thought there's all one show. So TLC had a show that women
Starting point is 00:26:57 hook up with guys locked up and you have to see their expectations and you're like, I remember coming out of prison myself and sitting with my wife at the time my girlfriend in the front seat and just blabbing off how Christ took my life and all I'm thinking about is a grandma blow
Starting point is 00:27:15 and eating her ass. You know what I'm saying? Do you know what I'm saying? I'm going to college, I'm going to be a doctor, I'm going to fucking speak at universities, I'm going to do this. Knock it off. How long are you in prison? Ten months, nine months. Oh.
Starting point is 00:27:31 But you know what I'm saying? Like there's this ether that we fall into. Yeah. And ether is another word for us wanting to believe something's going to happen. Yeah. If I get on killed Tony. and do my one minute, the world will get to see me and I could get on the fucking Tonight Show
Starting point is 00:27:45 or HBO could give me a deal. That's ether. But it's almost like you're delusional. But you've only been doing comedy for a year and a half. But the crazy thing is it's not like these things do happen. People do get on Kill Tony. People do get discovered in L.A. And like go from...
Starting point is 00:28:00 They do happen. So like it fucks with you. Like it does, like you think it's, you know, you think it's a possibility. And it is a possibility, but it's... I just had the ether happen to me with a car. Like I did like sometimes like you always talk about like doing too much research or like thinking too much about. I did all this research on a car.
Starting point is 00:28:21 I love the until I got it. I was like there's eight things I hate about it. I just did too much with it. So it's and it's weird how you don't snap. But you were saying you snapped out of it. Like you were able to snap out of it. Well, no. Well, you blow so much smoke up your ass.
Starting point is 00:28:39 so long. That's what I'm trying to say. Like, I blew so much smoke up my own ass for so long that now I know how to not to blow that smoke up my ass anymore. Okay? That's what I'm talking about ether. It's, ether is a chemical, but it's a state that we go into and we want something to work in our lives. And we'll push everything else out, even though it's pointing us. And it's not something that you're being positive about. This could be like, this is like the motherfucker that comes up to you and says, if I grow a pound of weed with your name on it, you know, okay, there's sponsors that'll come on this show.
Starting point is 00:29:17 And after two times, they'll call and go, nothing happened. And I'll go, what did you want to happen? And then they'll go, well, if we don't get a sale by this week, we want you to do two ads for free. And I'll go, that's not how it works. That's not how this works. See, people want to believe that one time doing something is going to work. And I tell them, yeah, you could put an ad here,
Starting point is 00:29:39 but I also want you to put an ad on CNN. It's cheap at night. After midnight, it's cheap. You need to do print. You need to do social media ads. And after people see your name at different situations, one day they'll say, you know what, I'll give it to $190. You know, it's not just fucking you.
Starting point is 00:29:57 You know how many people have contacted me to put their juice or their coconut oil or their fucking seed moss on Joe Rogan's podcast? and I'll say to them, listen, it's not my job. And they'll go, but you don't understand. I have a kid who's got leukemia. I can't help you. I can't help you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:15 Like people come at you like that. Like I have an aunt. She's got one eye. They're going to, she needs surgery. It's $400,000. If you get this on Rogan, it'll save me. Yeah. I don't even, I won't even enable you.
Starting point is 00:30:29 Yeah. If you tell me that. I'm not going to enable you. I'm not going to go, okay, I'll get you on Rogan, which he'll never go for it anyway. Yeah. But there's people that actually believe that. They're at home right now.
Starting point is 00:30:42 Look at the Liver King. He wanted to go on Rogan so bad. He went to Austin and shit in the hotel and he got arrested. People just have, you come on, Kathy. How many people come up to you with movie scripts? And they go, if you could talk. Every day. If you could.
Starting point is 00:30:59 My DM is filled with them. And what are you, and what are they telling you that they'll be made? They think that this one movie, and they'll be quitting Tarantino. I kind of feel bad when I get DMs. So do I. So do I. How do you think I feel?
Starting point is 00:31:14 Because I know this person put so much into it and they don't know. They're still so green. They think if they get me attached or like, can you give it to this person? It just don't work like that. Like you don't just go in front of the whole line. Like this took years to get where I am. It took years for me to get whatever I have. You don't just DM somebody think.
Starting point is 00:31:36 I think the scripts don't land on my lap and overnight, you're going to be an overnight success because now I have your script and I'm going to hand it to somebody. You know, I'm going to hand it to somebody and it's going to make your dreams come true. It doesn't work like that at all. I just feel bad when people put so much into, you know, one person, me, you, whoever else they're DMing. And I understand where they're coming from. So I have empathy that I know, like, this person doesn't really get it and he doesn't
Starting point is 00:32:11 understand how it works and how you really go through a real process of pitching your script to real producers. You don't just DM an actor. I'm just an actor. I'm trying to get a movie too. I'm trying to work myself. Like, just because I know people, I'm not going to take your script. I don't even know you.
Starting point is 00:32:29 You're a stranger DMing me and hand it to one of my friends. if I'm going to hand my friends one of my scripts, it's going to be something that I need from my script that I wrote. And I'm going to use that favor for myself, which I don't even ask people for favors ever. I'm very uncomfortable with it. And now the stranger that I never met is like, Ms. Nautucci, will you read my script?
Starting point is 00:32:52 It doesn't work like that. But I understand you. And more props to you. Go after your dream. Do whatever you got to do. Knock on every door. Break down every door. try to get your thing out there.
Starting point is 00:33:03 Try to, you know, I get people like, can you put a word for me on, you know, Godfather Harlem or when I was on Sopranos, any show that I was on or any movie, will you tell them I'll be an extra or this or that? Like, it doesn't really work like that. And I feel bad for these people who DM, because I want to help everybody. But if I helped everybody, what they don't know is behind you, I have 50,000 other DMs were people asking the same thing as you. And I want you all to win, but this is not how it works.
Starting point is 00:33:37 It could, though. So never stop doing what you might think is impossible. Always do it. But it really, the odds are not really in your favor of working that way. The shortcut. DM this person, boom, get the hit. It's going to work. Everything is going to work out.
Starting point is 00:33:56 It doesn't really work like that. I want it to work like that. You know, for me, Something like that kind of work with me. You know, I walked off the street, open audition, got a Bronx tale, and it did work like that. So that's why I have empathy for these people that are trying like the one shot. If I just do it, you know, DM people, however they're doing it. It might work.
Starting point is 00:34:22 Maybe somebody will answer you and we'll get it to somebody. So don't stop whoever you are. Keep doing what you're doing if that's the way you want to do it. Most likely it won't work that way. You got to go through the proper channels, and I think you have more of a shot working it that way, going to a real producer. And I have empathy also.
Starting point is 00:34:44 And that's what you have to look at it and go, I'm empathetic also. But here's where it doesn't get good sometimes. I've helped those people. Yeah. I've been one of those guys that said, let me see what I could do. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:55 And I've gotten something. I've done it too. And then it doesn't turn into one favor. It turns into two or three. so it went from my watch borrowing my watch for the day to now you're going for my whole arm. Well, that's right. People don't know when to stop.
Starting point is 00:35:10 That's one thing. And then the other thing is I look at the reasoning they're coming at me with. And like I said to you guys, I've had people contact me and say, I need this, my daughter's got leukemia. They know I have a daughter, so they hit me that way.
Starting point is 00:35:24 Yeah. Okay, they hit me with weird stuff. Well, that's called a guilt punch. This weed shit, this weed business shit. Those are the biggest maggots in the world. They're the biggest maggots in the world. The weed business, the way they leach onto you, they're the biggest fucking maggots in the world.
Starting point is 00:35:41 And that's why I don't mess with none of them. I've cut them all off. You can't even give one of those motherfuckers a prop. Because next thing you know, you're a spokesman for their company. And you can't, dog. You've got to be very careful. Yeah. And you try to walk the earth as a Christian, Kung Fu, you know,
Starting point is 00:35:59 helping people out. Yes. But people don't know when they fucking, when no is no. People don't know when. You reach your limit. When there's nothing I can do for you. I wish I can help you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:12 But you're at, you know, I get, before anything happens in my world, I got 20 people that I love and cheer for. Before I donate to the Red Cross or fucking this guy, I got 20 family numbers. You know what I'm saying? Yes. If you think I'm going to give $200,000 to some art gallery. to have a party and drink wine. Ha ha ha ha. But my fucking people are starving.
Starting point is 00:36:36 My people ain't doing shit. No, I'm not doing that. That's what most people do. They want to save the world, but not the people in front of their fucking eyes, okay? Yeah. I'm one of those guys. So you want me to do this for you,
Starting point is 00:36:48 but meanwhile, I got people in front of you. Yeah. That I've been with me for 20 fucking years, walking around, eating, taking shit, fucking whatever. You know, and that's what people don't understand either. Like, I get, Request for things. I mean, I get people asking me to ask Joe Rogan for UFC tickets.
Starting point is 00:37:08 Oh, what? Tickets. They don't even know the man. Yeah. I get people asking me to give De Niro. That's the biggest request. Can you give this to De Niro? My father was in the mafia and they think he's really in the mafia.
Starting point is 00:37:22 I'm like, look, I was married to him in a movie. He's not really my husband. I can't ask for favors like that. It was fake. I'm not really, but I do like you, I help where I can help, but people that I know, or sometimes a stranger, one stranger will hit it right, say it right, do it in a way right,
Starting point is 00:37:46 where they're not trying to not do it right, they're just being them, and I see it's coming from a raw, honest place, and they're like, Ms. Naduci, if there's anything, I'll be an extra, this that. And I'll go look at their page, and I'll look at their face, and I'll look at their eyes and I'll go,
Starting point is 00:38:02 I like this guy. I'm going to help this one. Mitchell. And I'll go and I'll go to casting if I'm on a show and I'll be like, if there's any extra stuff, get this guy. And I'll help. I'll help my friends if I can help.
Starting point is 00:38:16 You know, even acquaintances, most of my friends are on their own and they're doing their own thing. They don't really need my help. But like some acquaintances that want to be like, get me a little role, an extra job or something. Like, I will go right to casting. I have no point.
Starting point is 00:38:30 problem with that. If I'm on a show, you do have a connection with casting. That's somewhere where you do have a little, not pull, but a real connection where they may listen to you. You can help them with some extras. And I can do that. I'll do that. I'll help people. Or my friends that are actors, like certainly you, you're a great actor. I'll be like, he should be on Godfather. What are you kidding? or like whatever I do, I always mention my friends, but the people will just DM and send me a whole script.
Starting point is 00:39:06 They expect you to read, you know, you're so busy. You've got so much shit on your own teeth. And the motherfuckers are the ones when you're eating dinner or you're at a bar talking to somebody you haven't seen in 10 years and they come up to you, excuse me,
Starting point is 00:39:19 and I don't mind the excuse me, nice to meet you or take a picture. Yeah. But it's some motherfuckers that had three drinks at them. Yeah. See, because once you involve alcohol, that's a complete different animal. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:31 Now they want to sit next to you and stand there and ask your creepy questions. And listen, I'm telling fucking Catherine LaDucci my life's story, I don't need you over here, but they don't understand that. Yeah. And if you say something to them, they get offended. Yeah. They want to talk business at 11 o'clock when you're on three mushrooms. You smoked 18 joints and you're fucking high.
Starting point is 00:39:55 And it's like, Guy, go away. It's never, like people, we talked to last week about, I learned something from acting, and I took it for the rest of my life. What was it? The moment before. Love it. The moment before. It's so important.
Starting point is 00:40:12 But then when you look at the moment before life, when some guy runs down the streets and says, Catherine, fuck you. I hated you and they're sopranos, and it's 8.30 in the morning. And now you have two things. You can look at him and go, go, fuck you, mother and lower yourself, you can keep walking and go, what happened to him at 805 in the morning? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:32 What happened to him? But his wife bite his dick? Yeah. What happened to him the moment before? Because if you go at him, when he comes back with a knife and stabs you, it's like people on road rage, when you get beat up in a fucking car, you don't know what that guy was the moment before. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:49 It's so very important. It's so important. So, you know, I'm sitting there talking to Catherine, I do it, she had a bar having three drinks with her. This idiot comes over, hey, Buko! Hey, this guy, big pussy! And then on and on, and all of a sudden, you're like, you know, my mother just died.
Starting point is 00:41:05 And they just cry. They don't know what the moment before. So when you walk over there, be very cautious. And that's something that you learn at your home. Yeah. That's not something you learn at night. You learn that in your home. Your mother taught you that shit.
Starting point is 00:41:18 You know, approach him, say hello, and keep fucking walking. He's talking to a woman. People feel like they know you. And listen, these are all the things of why we got into our business. These are all the opposite. Like, I just watched Ole-O-L-A. Did you ever see O'A-L-A, the Rolling Stones in South America? No.
Starting point is 00:41:38 How Mick Jagger walks by himself. Mick Jagger loves to fuck with people. So, like, remember a year ago he went into Nashville and sat at the bar like an hour? He's the king of that shit. Yeah. And they asked him, they said, don't you? Bill Murray does that too. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:52 Aren't you scared that people are going to bother? And makes it out, goes, it's part of the gig, man. Yeah. It's really part of the gig. Yeah. That's all part of the gig. I love people. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:03 It's the people that come up to you expecting something. Yeah. You know, I told the joke on stage. I go to a strip club by my house. Once or twice, I go in there. I eat some mushrooms. This is true? Yeah, I go in the mom.
Starting point is 00:42:15 You know, there's like, listen, there's nothing there to see. There's nothing. They have TVs and the music is good, and the DJ is hilarious. because he curses and stuff. He's like, get this big ass bitch up on stage. And all that type of shit. So you're just strolling, dipping and out, get a muse, go home. I'm strolling.
Starting point is 00:42:33 I know the, I won't even get a lap dance. Yeah. I'm too embarrassed. You're just going in, you're getting the dip in and out. Little muse, go home. Every time I go in there. Wrap it up. Go home.
Starting point is 00:42:43 The first night I went in there was great. The second night, three kids come over with me, all creepy. Now, this is a strip club. Look your best. They still got the hat on from the farm. You know, three fucking dudes and botters from, you know, like they said, if they're from anywhere else from Brooklyn, they're all farmers. These guys were farmers. They had and bathed.
Starting point is 00:43:02 It's Friday. They went right from work to out. And they come over to me, you know, you Joey Diaz. And I'm wearing a strip club. Dancing titties. Russian chick up there shaking the tits, looking at the pole. You Joey Diaz? Yeah, I'm Aaron Rogers.
Starting point is 00:43:19 No, I'm on the worst. Hey, do you really know. Joe Rogan? They're 25 years old. Then they start with, does he really eat elk meat every day? Does he really go in a tub? And I go, yeah. But the whole time I'm thinking, this is society.
Starting point is 00:43:36 It's like that guy you bumped into with the big ass that said a load of... Oh, God. They got no testosterone. Why would a 25-year-old talk to a fat fuck felon, old fuck, about another old fuck that lives in Texas that eats elk? There's pussy everywhere. There's bitches everywhere But you rather talk to me about Joe Rogan
Starting point is 00:43:56 And does he eat elk on a Friday fucking night And you want to ask me what's wrong with fucking society At the highest level That's what's wrong with society I'm there with a bunch of pussy Whether you like it or not, it's still pussy You can smell it in the fucking air And you want to talk about Joe Rogan
Starting point is 00:44:15 What are you doing that case? I put my beard down and I get in the car And I go home and smoke 15 joints and pray for society. Pray that the Jewish, the Israeli don't get them. Play that Israel don't get them. What do you do? What the fuck do you do?
Starting point is 00:44:36 When I'm going to strip up, I don't want to talk. First off, I'm 62. I can't hear you. If there's music on. No, me either. You want to come and talk? You're going to be green in the face. Yeah. Because I'm just going to go, really?
Starting point is 00:44:48 Yeah, and then look over. And you can keep talking after that, because I'm looking at bitches. I didn't come here to talk to talk. fucking anybody. Okay? I want to look at naked women. I'm 62 years old. I've earned that right.
Starting point is 00:45:01 Yeah, you have. I'm out of the park with a long jacket, a rain jacket on. You're not even getting a lap dance. You're allowed to sit there and look. I don't want a lap dance. That's still embarrassing, too. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:11 And you come in your pants and you squeak out of there. In my own... I got to squeak out of it with that fun. Then I got an itchy nut and red skin for a month because I didn't want to dry patch it in the car. No, I'm too old for that show.
Starting point is 00:45:23 Yeah. Man, this is a lot of information. We know how we do it here, Catherine. Oh, man. So I want to ask you a question now. Go ahead. You sent me a funny photo because you liked the movie, The Altile nights. One of my favorites.
Starting point is 00:45:41 And you sent me a photo. I love that you sent me the photo of your house, your TV in your... Where was that? Basement. In your basement. And it was... I think it was... Was it me on the screen?
Starting point is 00:45:56 Yeah, it was you. In the Alto Knights. Yeah. I want to ask you, what is it that, what do you think it is that you like about that movie? What is it that you like about it? Well, let's get back to basics. I've always liked you.
Starting point is 00:46:10 So I loved you in the Bronx tale. Then you popped up in fucking the Sopranos, and you were really good in that. I really enjoy you. Thank you. There's not a lot of people I enjoy, enjoy. And I'm the type of guy if I know you, I kind of cheer for you. Right.
Starting point is 00:46:27 For the movie, like when you're in the movie, I'm cheering for you while I'm watching the movie. I loved you in that other fucking movie. The Irishman? Which one? Irishman? Yeah, when you took Joe Pesci's clothes off. Oh, yeah. I loved that scene.
Starting point is 00:46:40 Thank you. You know, not you took his clothes off. He said, take off your shoes and whatever. Yeah, the bloody clothes. I love when you came down, how you looked. But this movie, there was something different about you. This movie was you, you know, you know, Aerosmith is Aerosmith.
Starting point is 00:46:54 Guns and Roses is Aerosmith on steroids. This was Catherine Narducci on steroids. This was all your years' work because you've always been funny just being you. Arthur, they told you not to shoot the fucking gun off in the city limits, you know. You always got to say fucking something, you know. But this movie, you were extremely funny.
Starting point is 00:47:15 Your character really played out and your beauty played out. It was such a... I was disappointed when that movie came out. I read for that movie. movie. And I was very, I wasn't disappointed. I didn't get it. I'm not one of those guys. Could I ask you what role did you read for? Every, Tony Bender. Everybody read for fucking Tony. And then they cast you from Tony Bender.
Starting point is 00:47:34 And the scene I read for, they broke it up into five guys. Fucking brilliant. That's, we could talk for hours about that movie. Wow. The scene when he, when he's young at the TV, Vito. Yeah. And they go, tell him about Columbo. He let off whatever the dude. The dude jumped, the, the dude jumped six stories with a five-foot blanket and all that shit. Yeah. That was all one character. They broke it into five different bosses talking about how Columbo put that guy in for mayor
Starting point is 00:48:01 and to let the guy they shot in the barbershop. Oh, Michael. Michael was Poli's character, Joe... Marizano or whatever his name is. Yeah. Maserano or whatever the fuck. I'm so mad, I don't know. Can't think of it right now.
Starting point is 00:48:18 But the fucking court scene, you are fucking brilliant. He spends all his money on the Putans. It was very reminiscent of the scene when Christopher gets the AA thing, when you all go to his house. He gets the intervention. The intervention. It became a circus. That court thing became a circus. And then you even say it in the scene.
Starting point is 00:48:45 This has become a circus. But the beauty about this... You're a clown. You're a clown. You spend all your money with the Putans. asking him. He gives all his money to the Bhutan's. I'm a broke man.
Starting point is 00:48:56 And he's there fighting. He's my stepfather. I haven't made him dollar in years. I'm an old man. I live on Social Security. And you're like, bags of money come to his house. But the beauty about that whole scene
Starting point is 00:49:09 and how it was written, that at the end, you come back and you go, and your honor, you only tell me what the fucking dumbest thing in the world is, I still fucking love him. I know.
Starting point is 00:49:21 He asked me to take me back. I'd take him back today. Disfunctional. That's a beautiful fucking scene. That's funny. And no, you know, the scene was written like that. I know you improvised. I know he told you just do what you do.
Starting point is 00:49:34 But even that scene, like, no matter what happened, I still love him. You sold that. You really sold all. Thank you. How he tortured you, you know, with the money when he comes in to get the fucking money from the register. Oh, yeah. And Tony's there. And I jump over the ball.
Starting point is 00:49:51 the bar, there's just, I enjoyed that movie. When that movie came out, I was really depressed. Like, it had been out. And somebody goes, I go, that movie didn't come out yet. And they're like, yes, it did. It's in the fucking movie to this. I go, no, it's not. And I went online.
Starting point is 00:50:04 I'm like, oh, my God, it's in the movie today. I didn't know nothing. Wow. To the release date. I didn't see an ad. I didn't see an internet. Yeah, they didn't really over, over, publicize it too much.
Starting point is 00:50:21 And the problem is when you have such a big budget like that, on a film like that, there's a lot of, you ever put on an Amazon film late at night? That you've never seen or never heard of. I don't have Amazon. Wait, five out of ten of them are horrible. Okay. Like I just watched one about Donofrio.
Starting point is 00:50:38 He's a mob boss in Brooklyn, and he gets hit in the head and he goes into a treat. Oh, shit. Oh, my God. Vincent? Vincent. DeNofrio? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:48 He becomes, he's a mob boss, and now he goes. He gets hit in the head. He gets, oh, his old men go to shoot him. He jumps into a lake. They think he's dead, and he shows up on a tree. What do you mean, in a tree house? In a tree house, because they're going to tear down the forest.
Starting point is 00:51:03 So he wants to sit in a tree house. So he's a mob boss. They're all coming to him, going, please, Vito, come down. In a tree house. In a fucking tree house. Oh, my God. Cute movie. But then there's, like, another one.
Starting point is 00:51:16 There's like 20 Italian movies on there that all of them should be banned. All of them. Are you in Great End? No, and then... Not even just taking off, just banned. What's that? They should be banned? These movies have just never made them.
Starting point is 00:51:31 But there's a movie on Amazon. Let me tell you the cast. Go ahead. Godfather of Harlem. The black dude. The black dude, yeah. Oh, are you talking about... Forest Whitaker.
Starting point is 00:51:41 It's Forrest Whitaker. Oh, Faris Whitaker. It's Ray Leota. It's fucking Justin Timberlake's wife. Jessica Beale. Fucking gorgeous I mean it's an all-star lineup The English kid from the movie with
Starting point is 00:51:56 Fucking Angelina Jolie I mean great names Movie was shot in toy Movie was It was shot in toy But I have a friend who was the hot dog man On that movie It's a movie about Ray Leiorna comes out of prison
Starting point is 00:52:10 And he goes to see his daughter And it's Jessica Beal But he can't tell her And Jessica kind of hits on him And now he's caught with you in a rock In the hard place And he's gonna die Wait a minute
Starting point is 00:52:19 His daughter's hitting on him? She doesn't know it's his father. Oh, that's creepy. He goes to the strip club. Wait, how is this movie, though? It's a good movie. It's very interesting.
Starting point is 00:52:28 Why? Oh, shit. You know who plays the strip club owner? Roadhouse, the dude who died of cancer with a fucking wig on like Walter McAllo. Who? What's the guy that died of cancer from Roadhouse? Oh, Patrick Swayze. Dog!
Starting point is 00:52:41 It's an all-star fucking liner. But I have a buddy who plays a hot dog man in the scene with Forrest Whitaker. What a Gabriel, Elysis is his buddy. So I bumped into him and I go, bro, good dude, too. I forget he's on a commercial amount too. I go, bro, I saw you in that movie. You were fucking great. I go, why didn't that movie ever get released?
Starting point is 00:53:03 And he goes, they put so much money into the actors and the locations and shit that they ran out of money for the advertising. Wow. Really? And he goes, it happens a lot. What's the name of the movie? I.M.D. Blue something. IMD. Patrick Swayze and who?
Starting point is 00:53:20 Just put Ray Leodas IMD and look at that. Yeah, I got to know. We got to know now. No, this movie is fucking wild. And, like, they shot it all on Gardner. They shot it where I live. They shot, I know all those businesses there. So the end of Gardner is a floral shop.
Starting point is 00:53:36 And they just closed that during the pandemic. Because that's where... Powder Blue. Powder Blue. Powder Blue. Who's in the movie? Tell him the cast. Yeah, give us the cast.
Starting point is 00:53:48 You got Jessica Bill, Eddie Redmayne, Forrest Whitaker, Rayleighote, O'Don, Los Angeles. I thought Vincent's And Afrio was in it. No, no, no, no. The other guy in Roadhouse. No, Forrest Whitaker, the Godfather Hallam. That's one time. Oh, wait.
Starting point is 00:54:04 What was Vincent Sinafia when in? Oh, oh, he lived in the tree house. Right. What was that movie? Swayze. Shit. This movie had to be long ago. Patrick Swayze.
Starting point is 00:54:14 He's dead long. 2009. Oh. Amando Casillo. That's my brother. He's in that movie. He plays a hot dog man. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:21 His name's Jose. Yeah. He fucking told me. He goes, they ran out of budgeting. They ran out of advertising money. Wow. A lot of times, a move that'll happen.
Starting point is 00:54:31 So that's what I thought happened with Alton nights. But I still wanted to see it. At the time, I couldn't take my daughter. I'd take my daughter to the movies. But when she was too busy, with softball and shit. So finally it came on TV.
Starting point is 00:54:44 Yeah. I paid for it first. I paid for it. And I fucking liked it. I loved you. I loved Deborah Mething. I loved... De Niro.
Starting point is 00:54:53 Did you like him? As Vito, I mean, listen, I'm a De Niro dude. But as Vito, oh, my fucking... He was so good. Oh, my fucking good. A couple of those wise guys in that movie were fucking great. His partner, Tony Bender. I didn't like the way they portrayed...
Starting point is 00:55:09 Tony Bender passed the way. Did he? After the movie came out? Yeah. Before it came out. I really got... I love that guy. I didn't like Vito in that movie.
Starting point is 00:55:19 The guy that played... No, Vincent. The guy that played what Vincent plays in Godfather of Harlem, the guy that was the boxer. Oh, the chin. The chin. I didn't like the chin in that movie. They made him look like a retard.
Starting point is 00:55:33 The chin wasn't a retard. He just shot the guy. By mistake, he didn't shoot him right. Instead of shooting him three or four times, he shot him and ran away. But that guy didn't go on to fucking lead a crime family being a retard. He ended up playing a retard later in his life, but it was also a scam.
Starting point is 00:55:49 He was that brilliant that he played. You know, so. He played that he was crazy. That's the only guy didn't like in that movie how they played him. Everything else was solid. I liked the name of the club, the social club was the Alto Knights.
Starting point is 00:56:02 Yeah, the Alton Nights. I liked how Colombo was very politically fucking. That's what a gangster was, you know. They got to be in politics, rocking it. And I liked all that. And you were great, man. I thought the movie was so good. I thought De Niro was on his game.
Starting point is 00:56:15 I loved everybody in it. I loved the whole cast, and I love Tony Bender. I thought he was so authentic and real, and his acting was honest. He was so chill, that guy, always just like himself. And that's the key to acting. You have to bring yourself.
Starting point is 00:56:34 You have to, have to, have to. And I love what you said about acting. That's the key, too, the moment before. It's like it's so important the moment before. And what do you want from a scene also? It's like, how do I want you to feel when I walk in this room? How do I want you to feel right? What's my objective?
Starting point is 00:56:56 I want to be a good guest on this show. That's my objective today, right? I want it to be a good show. So try to find, what would I do to do that? Good subjects to talk about, make it interesting. But be natural and all. organic. That's my objective. I just want to people to like the show. I hope people like this show and find it interesting. And how do we do that? We just come up with good subjects that we want to connect with
Starting point is 00:57:24 people who are watching it. So, you know, if we were filming this as a movie, it would be the same thing. What's your objective in this scene when you're filming the podcast scene? Oh, I just want to be a good guest in the scene. Right? It's so simple. Keep it all simple. Keep it all simple. Keep everything's simple. And the moments before are great. It's a great thing. I'm glad you learned that. Long time ago.
Starting point is 00:57:50 Like when I first got to LA, somebody talked. That's so great. And I learned that that was a $35 a month acting class. His name was Frank something, Italian guy from Brooklyn. Wow. And he taught on Monday nights.
Starting point is 00:58:03 And I started with him, Frank Perna, something like that. And I started with him because he was close to the house. He was cheap. But the only thing I didn't like It was Monday nights, and Monday nights was the hot comedy night in L.A. So I'll have to go to class, do a scene, and then leave.
Starting point is 00:58:19 I didn't like doing that. Yeah. The guy was such a good teacher that I didn't want to do that. Right. And then I went to Ivana Chubbock. Oh, my God. And Avat Chubbichabic is the shit. She's like the shit.
Starting point is 00:58:33 She's the shit. Did you learn from her? Yes, yes. What's the biggest takeaway from her class? She makes everything about sex Is it very... This is what she does to women. She doesn't make it...
Starting point is 00:58:46 I take that back. No. She just... It's about... Am I right? It's had a lot... Because I sat in on it. When you fucking watch,
Starting point is 00:58:53 the mayor of Eton Town. Who was in that movie? The mayor... The female, the chick from Leo's wife in the fucking boat, the Titanic. Oh, that's... Oh, God. She's amazing.
Starting point is 00:59:06 That's... When you read... Kate... Like, that bitch has no barrier. She'll show you her pussy. She doesn't care how she looks. She's not, you know what my acting teacher teaches to say? This is going to say what she is.
Starting point is 00:59:19 By acting teacher Charlie who died used to say, stop being a mirror. Not to me. If you were on stage and you were worried about your looks and what you were wearing and he'd say, stop being a fucking mirror actress. She's anything but that. She doesn't give a shit.
Starting point is 00:59:34 She'll come out. No makeup, raw. She didn't care what she looked like. I was in the Titanic. I get home all cooked up one night. I'm sitting there. And I put HBO on. And all of a sudden it's her with a pussy out
Starting point is 00:59:46 with Harvey Cartel drawing her. And I'm like, she just won a fucking tremendous Oscar. And she's on the late night. So one night I was thinking about that because I saw something else and the pussy was out. What?
Starting point is 00:59:57 I googled her. Her pussy's been out like 18 fucking fucking... Little monster? Something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Movie. It's a movie. It's a movie.
Starting point is 01:00:06 But fucking... Oh, with the pedophile. Yes. It's crazy that she doesn't care. I read an article where the producers called me and said that she looked chubby, and she goes, leave that in. That scene where she fucked the guy and that, and her pussy was that.
Starting point is 01:00:22 I mean, she's fucking nuts. That's what Ivana does to you. Ivana takes you, takes a woman who's grown up in my house, let's say. Like if I had it, like, my daughter, I'm very like, you know, this, this, that. I give her some rope, but she knows the bottom fucking line. I'm a Cuban old school dad So I don't want to fucking hear it You're strict?
Starting point is 01:00:45 I'm 12 She's 12 She's going into Jaws of Life now with me Yeah Her mother had it So she's 12 Now, I mean
Starting point is 01:00:52 Me and the mother have it But now I got to look at it a little more Now I got to watch her a little more These are the ages Where they need their dad They break away from the mom a little bit And you either have to talk to them Or turn your head
Starting point is 01:01:03 You got to talk to them And tell them what's going on You know what I'm saying You're going to talk to them So now you threw me the fuck off what I was going to say. No, you're talking about how you, Kate, you said Kate. So when you get a girl like that that moves to Hollywood and says, I'm never going to show my titties, that's great.
Starting point is 01:01:22 Until you walk into Avana's cat class. Avana's like Mitchie Shore. When you tell them what you don't want to do, that's the first thing they make you do. I told Ivana one day I don't like, like, like, Ivana, and 300 fucking pounds. You know, don't fucking put me in the scene to kiss a fucking girl. Next thing you know, you kissed in a girl? Like, I don't want to do it.
Starting point is 01:01:53 Next thing you know, she gave me the role of Ernie, Ernest Borgnein, in that movie where he plays The Butcher, and he falls in love with the pretty girl upstairs. Marty. Marty. That's the first scene I did, and she made me kiss somebody. And dog, I had to go to the girl's house and rehearse it with her. I would tell her, no, I don't want to do it.
Starting point is 01:02:14 Could I ask you something? Go ahead. You're so outspoken. You're so... I'm not going to say the word, the P this, the P that, the F this, F that. Try to get you to do like a little thing where you're kissing somebody. What do you shrivel up like a prune? Yep.
Starting point is 01:02:36 Why? That's why I'm not big on stupid. So then I'm going to tell you what that's about, the psychology. It's all the front. I'm a prude motherfucker. No, you're... That's all a front. Listen, no, no, no, because I know for a fact, listen, I'm 62, I'll tell you the truth, okay?
Starting point is 01:02:51 Yeah, God. I love strip clubs, and I'm a Cuban old school cokehead. I had a fight off in my cheesemo all those years, but I got nothing wrong with Catherine and Artucci coming up to you at a bar. I'm going, Kathy, why are you talking to Lee? I got an eight ball of Coke, and I'm going to suck your fucking uterus out, okay? And I want you to go, you're right, let's get the fuck out of here. Is that how that how that would go? Now, God, no, but now God forbid.
Starting point is 01:03:16 Catherine Narducci said to me, hey, I got an eight ball of Coke. Let's go back to my house. I have a few cocktails. Reverse it. I'm done. I run out of that like a pussy. I've done it before,
Starting point is 01:03:26 and I'll do it again. And especially, it is the weirdest fucking thing. So when I go to a strip club, I don't mind me going to you if I'm coked up and drunk. I haven't done coke in 18 years. So that's out of my personality left.
Starting point is 01:03:41 Yeah. So now it's even more. But then I felt bad for the girl. I'm 300 pounds. Why would a pretty girl want to kiss me? That's forcing myself on her. Even for a fucking scene and a movie. When a girl has to kiss a man in a movie,
Starting point is 01:03:54 the guy's at least a fucking eight. Okay? And she don't mind. He's an eight. Okay. I was a four. I don't want to kiss a girl that's a fucking 10. That's 20 years younger to me or 10 years younger than me.
Starting point is 01:04:05 Did I just say something? Go ahead. You're... Do you love acting? You're an actor? I love doing it. Are you an actor? I don't know.
Starting point is 01:04:15 Oh, I like that. down his answer? I don't know. It depends who I'm around. It depends who I'm with. It depends who I'm in a scene with. It depends who I'm working with. I don't know. I don't know. I can't do voices. I can't do fucking accents. I can't dance. I can't jump up and down. So I don't really know. I can look at your eyes. I can be sincere. I know all the, I know all the principles of what I want to do because I stole the principles of acting and use it in my stand-up. So I was one of those dudes that understood acting. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:52 Like, I just told you about a movie I have no audition for. Yeah. Okay? I got to go to New Mexico. They're paying scale. They want you to play Italian, Mexican. Right. What do they call the Fox?
Starting point is 01:05:05 That's not the point. That's not the point. At the border? Right. A smuggler, whatever, right? But the point is this. The point is this, that it's a chance to act. Something's kicking in over.
Starting point is 01:05:17 there. Oh yeah, he's all zonboed up. Holy shit. He's all zonboed out. It's kicking in. It's his lucky night. So, you know, there was a time when I was already on top of that. Remember, I booked a bunch of movies from sending tapes in, I do my own auditions. I get films in pre-production and get
Starting point is 01:05:35 the scripts from the agency. Do you feel in your heart? Do you feel in your heart of hearts in your gut? The same way, if I said to you, Joey, are you a comedian? That I am. Are you a comedian? Fuck yeah. Are you a good comedian?
Starting point is 01:05:49 Yes. Do you understand comedy? Yes. Do you think you're a good comedian? There's better comedians, but I'm good. I can hold my own in a room. Let's just say that, okay? Okay.
Starting point is 01:06:01 I could hold my own in a room. Okay. I'm not the best comic. I'm not the best writer, but energy and art and enthusiasm always wins with me. Okay. It could be a minute joke, but the way I'm enthused about it,
Starting point is 01:06:14 it becomes bigger. It's smoking mirrors. Do you think that you were born to be a comedian? Yes. Is there anything else you can do better than comedy? Steele. Rob, plan, I love all that shit. Still today, you can steal better than you could be a comedian?
Starting point is 01:06:41 No, no, no. That's not even in my world anymore. Okay, so... I couldn't be a burglar now. You know what I'm saying? I couldn't walk on the ladder. I can't go in through a mirror. You know, I'm going through a TV.
Starting point is 01:06:53 I go in through a fucking window. I'm going to be sore for four days. So stealing with survival, comedy is for survival too, because comedy, I mean, I'm not a comedian, but I'm an actor, and I understand the art form of any musician, a painter,
Starting point is 01:07:14 or a comedian, an actor. I don't know. It was survival until I realized the stakes. I'd say that to you. That comedy was survival. I didn't want anybody to get a touch of me. I had just gone through a divorce.
Starting point is 01:07:29 I owed $250,000 between attorneys, Discover cards, Visa cards, Mastercards, American Express card. I couldn't get a job because of a felony. Who's going to become an acupuncturist? What was it going to do? I can't take the test. I can't get a license.
Starting point is 01:07:45 So at that point in my life, I was always a big fan of comedy. I never thought I'd headline. I figured I'd do comedy and drive around the country until I fucking got old or OD'd. When I started this, it was just to disappear and to find out who the fuck I was. Let's take this in a car.
Starting point is 01:08:05 A moderate car, it wasn't no Cadillac, it wasn't no Maserati. It was an 89 Nissan B-2-10 with a broken suspension. And I just wanted to go out there and see what was out there. But then the stakes got high, and then I found out that Tim Allen had done time and other comedians had done time
Starting point is 01:08:23 and Lenny Bruce had been arrested a few times so I felt in a good company and then I read a Lenny Bruce book that he broke it down. He lived at that hotel to Chelsea and he did heroin and he fucked strippers and he slept all day and I'm like I'm in
Starting point is 01:08:38 that's what else do I want to do so you identified with you identify Lenny Bruce would playing in a jazz club being a comedian and a stripper club at night and then going back to a hotel with no responsibility, no rent. You know, you pay rent, but it's not a big house. You don't have to pay HOA to mow your lawn. It's just a fucking room, a woman and a fucking syringe, and you're fucking and sucking and you're writing comedy. What could be better than that? But it didn't work out for me that way because I didn't
Starting point is 01:09:10 want to do everyone and do comedy. So, but what that meant to me was that you were, you didn't want to be part of a society. It was like joining Hells Angels. It was like... So you were like a rebel. Joining the mafia. You were a rebel. I was a rebel because I had no choice.
Starting point is 01:09:27 Because I couldn't get a job in the regular world. And I'm one of those guys. I'm not saying anything bad. But as much of a douchebag as he is, I'm not saying this, I'm saying from people's opinions. People don't like Sammy the Bullga Violin. But I got news for you.
Starting point is 01:09:46 Sammy Bull? Sammy the Bull, Gravano. Nobody liked them, and I understood why. But that motherfucker could run a CEO. He could be a CEO of any fucking company. And there's a lot of those gangsters. That could have been CEOs of any one of those companies. I just repeated this here to Lee and these guys one day.
Starting point is 01:10:06 I learned good things from bad people. Okay? No matter how bad they are, they have one good fucking trait. Maybe it's remembering something. Maybe it's mathematics. I mean, you know, what's the famous Jew? That fucking Maya Lansky, you know, these guys were all, he was a mastermind. He dropped out of school when he was six, and he was dyslectic and with a bum leg to boot.
Starting point is 01:10:33 You know, it doesn't matter what you're fucking, well, have an IQ or 180. Well, but if you send money to Africans when they email you because your mother left you a will in Africa, what good is that 180? What good is if you go 10 for 10 on Jeopardy? I don't give a fuck about that. It's what you translate into the street. It's like functional fitness. When we're kids, we do curls and squats.
Starting point is 01:10:58 I still do squats. But it's more for function now. I use bands and fucking, you know, pulleys and whatever the fuck. So it's the same thing. You adjust. My point is, I have no idea because I took the same pills as Lee. Well, here's my, here's my, my question is to you, do you think you're a good comedian? Yes.
Starting point is 01:11:27 And were you born to be a comedian? Yes. Well, you were more born? I'm going to tell you something about you. I was born to be a fucking attorney. I'm going to tell you something about you. A Jew attorney. Could I tell you something about you?
Starting point is 01:11:40 You still can't be. And break it down a little bit from what I think. I think that on top of the heart exterior and the cursing and the fucking motherfuckies and you savages and everything, I think that there's a guy underneath that and behind that whole wall who gets on a stage and gives this massive heart exterior. Like he's so brutal. He's so honest. And he's connecting to all these other. hurt people who are hard and this macho kind of thing. But I think the connection with you is
Starting point is 01:12:28 you also, on top of that hard exterior and that wall, I do believe that the real connection is not that. I think that we see through that wall and see that there's a guy behind the all that, who is actually like this really good guy, this teddy bear who you're on stage being a comedian and you're good at it. These are all your survival skills. And it's also you connect with these broken people in a way to your comedy. It's kind of like, what's the word I'm looking for when you do reverse psychology. You're doing sort of a reverse psychology where you're like, come on, you motherfucker's, da, da, da, da, da, da.
Starting point is 01:13:25 And you're like, you're using that, but you're connecting in a way where you grab them because they understand, we understand what you're doing. You're good at what you're doing. Like you're making a connection with these people with that heart exterior. This poor bastard. This guy is having a meltdown behind the scenes. He's having a meltdown.
Starting point is 01:13:53 No, you really are. You're like this guy that really connects in a way that it's almost like a, it's sort of like a psychology thing that you do where you come up with the heart exterior, but you're also connecting with people and helping people in a way where it's like, show me you're helping me without showing me, you're helping me through your comedy. A good way of putting it.
Starting point is 01:14:18 And to answer your question from before, yeah, I feel like an actor at times, but the last five or six years I haven't, because an actor wants to get out there, whether they pay them a dollar or whether they pay them $10,000. So is a comedian. But the problem in the last couple of years
Starting point is 01:14:37 is the money has gotten so bad and they want you to do weird things that I've just said, you know what, I'll pass. Yeah. So that's why my hesitation I hesitate That's why I hesitated That's why I hesitated
Starting point is 01:14:52 Answering your question before That's why I hesitated answering your question About are you an actor Because I got offered a play I didn't want to do it Why? It was in the heart of fucking July
Starting point is 01:15:08 It was a weekend in New Jersey Which I don't know about you I don't think people go to plays in New Jersey on the fucking weekends in July. Okay? And, but right away, I don't want you to sound like I was negative off the bat about it.
Starting point is 01:15:23 The real reasoning was the time. I like my time at home. I like my time with my daughter. I like being close to her. For the first seven years, I was always doing a podcast or doing something. And I was in her life, but not,
Starting point is 01:15:40 and I saw the change when we moved here. Because women don't want to be loved. they want to feel secure. Yeah. She doesn't need to hang out with me. She comes down three times a night and go, Dad, are you okay? And then she'll take her water and get right back on the phone. But she comes down.
Starting point is 01:15:56 And I could see that. So I like being around. Yeah. You know, like I like being around. I like when she gets home from school. My parents went home when I got home from school. What a fucking horrible existence. In the old days, somebody was always home when you got home from school.
Starting point is 01:16:10 That's called a latchkey kid. That's called what? Latchkey kid. What's that? That's a kid who lets himself in. Yeah, I was one of those kids. You let yourself in. Then nobody's home.
Starting point is 01:16:20 I wanted to be a latchkey, but not now. A little later. A little later. You follow me. There's just so many things. And when you do a play, you have to commit. That's a fucking commitment. You just can't wake up and go,
Starting point is 01:16:33 well, I don't feel like doing it. That's like anything else in life. You committed to something. There's eight people waiting on you. Eight people waiting on you. And, like, again, I'm getting to an age where I wake up in the morning. I may have to go to the Bronx to see you, but I smoke a joint, I change my mind.
Starting point is 01:16:48 Yeah. I'll go, that's it. I want to eat clams today. I don't feel like eating spaghetti. I'm one of those idiots. You won't go. Well, you know what? I have a T-shirt that I had made, and it says, I'm not a planner.
Starting point is 01:17:00 I'm a canceler. I cancel everything. I make plans, and I fucking canceled them. I'm a professional counselor. I'm lucky I'm here today. I'm happy you're here. But I'm happy I'm here. I'm here.
Starting point is 01:17:14 I got to meet this whole great. Let me tell you, by the way, people, his behind the scenes crew is the best. The best. The conversations behind the scene should have been filmed. It should have been filmed. You missed the gold, the gold. The gold was behind the scenes. Starting on the eighth.
Starting point is 01:17:35 Who's Rudy? Rudy's. You like Rudy's. Yeah. You don't want nothing but Rudy's. You want no frills. in and out. No small talk.
Starting point is 01:17:46 I want to eat. I want to be in and out. I told you. And you only want his chicken cutlets. Listen, listen. Your chicken cutlets are nothing? Oh my God.
Starting point is 01:17:57 The best. Listen, in today's world, I want you to think where you came from and where you are today. All we have is a little bit of loyalty. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:18:06 But if we become these people that every time, oh my God, there's a new Nico open. It's great and something. I got to go to Nico. You know what? Who gave you fucking food on the arm
Starting point is 01:18:17 When you were broke that time And that's what we've all forgotten Everybody forgets everybody. Everybody wants Ha ha ha ha We don't eat there We eat the Angelinas and Staten Island You don't have water and all
Starting point is 01:18:29 Leave me the fuck alone We all grew up We have one place That's all you have Keep it simple This fucking jerk off goes to a pizza place And all these saps Run after him
Starting point is 01:18:41 Dave Portnoyneau a skinny fucking Irish kid from Boston. They partner. I've never seen a society of such suckers because the East Coast is made of great pizza. We don't, if there's so much good pizza now that if you make bad pizza,
Starting point is 01:18:59 you get ousted. So everybody has a different flair to it. Yeah. So for you to tell me that you're going to drive two hours to get a slice of pizza or something like that, it just doesn't work for me. Yeah. You grew up eating a set.
Starting point is 01:19:11 Well, you're not into the trends. No. And you're not into the gurus and you're not into follow or a follower. Because this is what... Follow the follower. This is who got us to the dance. Now you want to be Johnny Bananas
Starting point is 01:19:23 and be better. And that's what the problem with us is. Everybody forgets what got them to the fucking dance. That got you to the dance for years. And okay, you may be bored. But you better go in there once a month and pay your fucking respects
Starting point is 01:19:35 and keep your fucking mouth shut. To a pizza place? Whatever. Listen, I grew up in Rome a part-time. See, you're not, you're not from that world lead. I'm not. So you would never understand. She grew up in the Bronx. And there was... I go in Harlem! Where the fuck you grew up? And there was a thousand fucking places to eat pizza.
Starting point is 01:19:55 But there was one that your mother and father went to. And you went there every day. And you went in there after school. And Mr. Nicky, whatever, he gave you a slice, he gave you an Italian ice. Your whole life was in there until you went away to college. And when you went to college, no matter where the fuck you went to college? Yeah. You kept saying, man, I can't wait to go home to get a slice of that fucking pizza, okay? And you went back home and you got that pizza. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:20:19 But now you moved to Asbury Park. You know, I like the Sicilian with the whatever. Leave me the fuck alone. Leave me the fuck alone. I get it. But every time you come up, pay your fucking respects. Pay your fucking respects. We grew up in that fucking place.
Starting point is 01:20:39 What the fuck is wrong with people? Oh, so you feel like people are jumping, All the time. All the fucking time. Jump and ship. All the time. To the hottest restaurant to impress somebody. We went to the Loas and, you know, you know.
Starting point is 01:20:52 Shut the fuck up. Yeah, I get. Shut the fuck up. I get what you're saying. Shut the fuck. I just moved from L.A. Where there's no loyalty. 20 years I sat there.
Starting point is 01:21:03 No loyalty. Nobody. Oh, we went to, oh, neat. Bro. You're from fucking Jersey. Why are you eating that shit? Oh, because. because it was good or because...
Starting point is 01:21:15 No, because this one said to. Because the forces of B or what is it? Let's tap into what the fuck you're doing. You're not one of these fucking how many guns. Why are you acting like them? For 30 years, these are many guns fucked you in the ass. Now you want to be like them. Shut that.
Starting point is 01:21:32 You eat their lunch. You fucking tell them where they're going to eat, you motherfuckers. I'm not going there. I don't care where you 11 people are going. And that shit ends. That shit ends. You have to have something. You have to stand for something, man.
Starting point is 01:21:48 And that shit pisses me to fuck off. Well, you know what it is? And it's a simple thing. You're probably saying... Swipe left. Swipe left. Swipe. There's always something new. Swipe left.
Starting point is 01:21:55 People at home right now going, what the fuck is wrong with him? He's a grown man. You don't know what the fuck I'm coming from. Well, I'm coming from is you have to have something. Yeah. Just a little bit of fucking loyalty. Just a little bit.
Starting point is 01:22:07 You want to die with just, you know, in this fucking rotten world. And it's a loyalty, not the Twitter. Yeah. I'm loyal to Instagram. You know, you got to be loyal to something. We grew up in this place, man. The fuck is wrong with you. Yeah, but it's the swipe left syndrome.
Starting point is 01:22:22 Oh, my God. Because there's always something new. You're talking about social media. If you go on social media, there's always a influencer going to a new place where the lines around the corner and everybody's got to get in what they can't have. If there's a line, they want it.
Starting point is 01:22:40 If there's no line, it must not be. be that good. But think about this. You're making a good point because years ago, the best places like say Rios or say Patsy's Pizza, when I was growing up, there wasn't any line. It was just a good place on the DL, but they did a great business. They had a loyal, you're talking about. Neighborhood people supported them. And that was it. And that's all we needed. We were happy. You went in, you got a good meal, you went home. No bells and whistles, right?
Starting point is 01:23:16 Now, swipe left, go on social media. The next influencer who you like is telling you, it's like, it's like, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. It's like a pinball machine. Go here, go there, go there, go there for the best donut. Go there for the best donut. I found the best donut in New York City. They're gluten-free.
Starting point is 01:23:38 These influencers are brainwashed. everybody, we can't have a moment of silence. And I understand? We can't have a moment of silence. But you cannot brainwash Hutchin County people. We can't have a moment of silence. We were raised a little differently. You can't brainwash Bronx people.
Starting point is 01:23:55 You can't brainwash old school Brooklyn people. That's the fucking problem. Okay, when we're set on something because we were raised, listen, I'm just a stupid fucking felon spick. But let me tell you an interesting story while we're here, all of us. David Chase wrote a beautiful show called The Sopranos, and he made you the wife of the guy who owned a partner, Artie Bucco. Artie Bucco.
Starting point is 01:24:21 Do you remember on that show? You had regulars that came in every week, not six days a week, but they came in once a week. And they got the same stupid dish, maybe a different type of bottle of wine. How many times on the show that Tony Soprano or Christopher Montesante say, Artie, I know this menu back and forth. It doesn't matter.
Starting point is 01:24:44 That's the restaurant. I know the menu at Rudy's back and forth. I know the menu at Astoria back and forth. We know the menu at Falkin Las Blis's back and forth. You know the menu at the riverfront back and forth. You know the menu at Carmine's back and forth. I don't know. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:25:02 You know, you just know. You have something that you know it, and that's fine because that's home. But you know what? I like what you're saying. You're really mostly, if you break it down, everything you're saying, it just comes down to loyalty. That's home. Another episode.
Starting point is 01:25:17 Years later, he talked about it. He goes, Hardy, in my darkest nights, I was driving home. There was a storm. And we came to you, and you let us in there. There was no power. And that's one of the best nights we had in our life because we were home. People complained that they're depressed, but they ain't got a fucking home. And then they don't want to go home.
Starting point is 01:25:36 Yeah. They always want to go somewhere else. Always crit. Just you're here, enjoy it, shut your fucking mouth, and eat the fucking food. Don't drop any fucking Italian names on me, so help me God, I eat you with this bottle of vinegar. Right to the fucking skull.
Starting point is 01:25:52 Don't mention who's better. I don't want to hear it. Because right now, at this moment? That's right. It's like the homeless guy you said today. There ain't no better place than where we're at. So shut your fucking pie hole with that shit. And that's the problem you have.
Starting point is 01:26:06 Yeah. Well, it's an overload. It's overloaded. It's an old, I'm telling you, it's the swipe left syndrome. I'm just using that as the metaphor to what I'm talking about. It's like, there's always something better. The grass is always greener. Oh, you like that place?
Starting point is 01:26:20 But no, try this place. But now don't we try that place. That pasta, no, now you got to go here. Now you got to go there. And they'll show you the line around the corner because this is with this person, this influencer, is saying it's good. But you're talking about like
Starting point is 01:26:39 For that moment, we give that place to love That's the place, that's a place, that's a place That's a place. The next influencer goes, no, not that place I found a better place Why you're eating, you're saying, shut up, enjoy this place now What do you mean? We got to go to another place now. We just got here. It never ends.
Starting point is 01:26:58 It's a swipe left syndrome. It's never ends. It's the ADD. Swipe left syndrome. You know, I live in a central New Jersey, Since I've been there, I like two restaurants. Both of them are on, like, weird now. They've opened up all these restaurants.
Starting point is 01:27:15 But last December, or December before that, they opened up a Mexican restaurant that people were having car accidents pulling into. It was insane. Parking lot, they had cars on top of cars. They had to use the parking lot to the fucking other businesses at night. I never stepped in there.
Starting point is 01:27:34 I won't go to those places. when if they're hopping like that in the beginning, they're all saps. Because they go in there under the ether. They're under the ether. Yeah. They go in there. Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. That, da, da, da, da, da.
Starting point is 01:27:48 We're all great. Let's take a picture. And they pick up that margarita, not knowing it's $22. That, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. And they're just pumping the ether like Vegas. V-Z. And now your girls come. And more.
Starting point is 01:28:05 Now, nachos and chips. Everything sucks. But you were drunk. You were drunk. You dropped 300. Now you get home after fucking and sucking. And you correlate the fucking and sucking with the Mexican bar. And the Mexican drinking you went to do the night before.
Starting point is 01:28:19 Trust me. The mind works so fucking weird. So you can't wait to go in there again. Then you go in there one night without your girlfriend when you're sober and see if it. That, da, da, da, da, da, that. Everything sucks dick, okay? There's no ta-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. So that's ether.
Starting point is 01:28:35 I get the Ethan. Now you get the Ethan? I get it. It's they suck you right in. They suck you right the fuck in. It's almost like you're under the influence. And right away, yeah, you're under the influence. You're under the influence.
Starting point is 01:28:45 And you don't even know. And then you go in there one day when you're sober because you left your phone the night before. And you walk in there and the waiter's picking his nuts. You know what I'm saying? Eating this fucking boogie straight from his nose. That was a great time. Boy, I felt great now eating that brisket with the same waiter. You know, you're right.
Starting point is 01:29:04 It's like you go back in and the lights are on and it's just a room with some chairs. That's it. And a chef and some food. It's not the magical place that we're making it out to be. It is. Right? There's an article, an article or a book coming out. I read this to it on that again.
Starting point is 01:29:23 I do not know if this is true. I do not know if this is true. Don't quote me. You know, you know how life is. Yeah. Oh, my God. eight women have gotten together. Eight women have got together.
Starting point is 01:29:41 And what did they do? You ready? Eight women who've gotten together from the metropolitan New York scene and they're ready to file a big time lawsuit against the owners of Studio 54 because they got raped there in the 70s. Get the fuck out of here!
Starting point is 01:30:01 Again, they went down there. That da-da-da-da-da-da-da-ta. Quaylu, Quailu, Quailu, Quailu, Mc Jagger walked in, they sucked his dick, and they remembered it during the pandemic. Like everybody else did. Remember during the pandemic? Everybody remembered who raped them. During the pandemic, they shot eat their hair. Everybody remembered who held their mouth 20 years ago at a fraternity party, who grabbed your pussy when you salute with the soldiers.
Starting point is 01:30:31 You know, everybody remembered. I read the Sierra Day, and it was very interesting. It was very interesting that a woman who weighed 50 fucking years. 50 years, eight of them. What happened in the Mastodio 54? They say they got raped and sexual. You know, everybody said it was a party. It wasn't for us.
Starting point is 01:30:59 It was a night of hell. Steve Lubel took us in the room and whipped us and made a snort Coke off his dick. It was horrible. You know, that type of shit. Okay? So for the 2,000 people who went there and said it was the best night of their lives
Starting point is 01:31:14 and they did Coke. I mean, Ben Crosby was in there. Paul Costalano was in there. Frank Sinatra was in there. Okay, but now these eight women say that in 1978 or 77 or 73 that this happened. You know, and it just, it's like Jesus Christ. What the fuck? What the fuck?
Starting point is 01:31:38 I don't even know why I brought this up now. Fuck it. We were already high. We might as well bring up some more shit to, confused the fuck out of it. That pill is kicking in. Oh, it's kicked in a while. This poor bastard.
Starting point is 01:31:49 Me, I'm still, I'd go for two more. Two more, what? Two more of these motherfuckers. Why? Why not? It's Monday night. It's Labor Day weekend. You ain't got dick.
Starting point is 01:31:59 I ain't got dick going on. It's Labor Day weekend? That's it. This Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday. It's over. Summer's over. It's over. Wow, that's scary.
Starting point is 01:32:09 You can't wear white no more. Shit. That's it. You got to put out the dark fucking. I want to see you do stand-up right now. No, leave me alone. Leave him alone. Please, leave him alone.
Starting point is 01:32:22 Don't bother. Leave him right there to sit there. He'll be fun. Once he gets some pizza in them. Let's hear one line. No, leave him alone. Let him get some food. Then he'll do stand-up.
Starting point is 01:32:31 He'll jump up and down for you. Look at his eyes. They're like, they're closed. Those are Jewish eyes. Now, Ducci, did you have a good time shooting out all nights? I had a great, I really did have a great time. I like being away. I like being out of my environment and on location
Starting point is 01:32:54 and not around familiarity. You know, I like shooting in New York because I love New York. I'm a born and raised New Yorker. On the island of Manhattan, not the Bronx, but I do like the Bronx. But I am born and raised in Manhattan. I like shooting there. But I like getting away to shoot films. I like being away on location.
Starting point is 01:33:15 because then you're not around familiar faces and places, and I feel like when I'm at that point, my imagination is on a much higher level. Anyway, imagination, let me ask you something. Go ahead. You ever walk into one of these hotels, you go to your room, you put your shit on the bed, and you go, how the fuck did I get here?
Starting point is 01:33:45 When you're working? Yeah, like when I check into the hotel and they're like, hi, Mr. Diaz, welcome. We've had, we have a basket for you. And you're like, these motherfuckers don't know 10 years. I was robbing these baskets. You know what I'm saying? They're like, we got a basket for you.
Starting point is 01:34:01 Welcome. The movie welcomes you. And then you go to your room and you sit down. It's a nice room. You got buckets and sodas. But I got to tell you, those are my proud moments. I understand. But you ever sit things off.
Starting point is 01:34:13 Because I go, shit, man. I earn my freaking way. This little shit. cockroach from Harlem earned her way to not a hotel room. I could get myself a hotel room. You understand what I'm saying to. I understand. But those moments that I'm answering you, how I feel about that,
Starting point is 01:34:30 are surreal for me and proud moments for me. Because I'm like, boy, you know, my ex, Joe Maruzzo, he's an actor too. He said to me, Kat, every now and then, every night, my therapist, told me, when you're feeling really bad about yourself at night, when you're alone and you're about to get in bed, you give yourself a pat on your own pat, like literally, you go like this, you did good today, kid. You do good today, cat. You give yourself a pat. You tell yourself you did good. When I walk into a hotel room on location and I go, it's not about, oh, I'm in a hotel room. It could be a shit hole hotel room and I could be doing an independent film for $100,
Starting point is 01:35:15 a day in in Massachusetts. But I still have the same feeling I have as if I walked into a hotel on a studio film in Hawaii that you believed in yourself enough and you did the work to get here. And you're here and you did something good. That's something good. That's the one time I give myself credit. and go, don't be hard on yourself. You did something good.
Starting point is 01:35:50 Give yourself the pat on the back at the end of the night and say, you did good, cat. You did good kid. And I do. I go like that to myself. And I always took that to heart with Joe Tomey. And when I check into the hotel, wherever it may be for a job specifically, it's better feeling than when I'm on a vacation with family of friends.
Starting point is 01:36:11 Because I earned that and I work so hard for that. you. Now you know why I don't like fucking vacations. I don't like we were talking about that's a different story. But I earned it. You earned it. I earned that fucking room. I earned this place. I earned my place here. I earned welcome Miss Narducci. We have a room for you. Thank you. I earned that. It didn't come overnight. I earned that. You know, from my fucking poor beginnings to where I am now. You did good, Kat. Today you're doing good.
Starting point is 01:36:53 Tomorrow you might not be. When the movie's over, you could be out of work again. Right now, you're checking in to do another movie you earned. You got anything coming up? Have you been working with me? Right now, I just have the series that I wrote, and I'm hoping to get it done as a movie. which I was just told by somebody that I love and respect that you all know,
Starting point is 01:37:21 but I can't say, saying that I, because I wrote eight episodes of a series of my life, and the person read it and said it's going to be a movie. So I'm going to be like trying to get that made right now. And hopefully Godfather Harlem's coming back for season five. No. They destroyed it already.
Starting point is 01:37:44 No, no. Come on, give Chris Boncardo another chance. I love Chris, and I love that show. I love that fucking show. You're just fine crazy about season five. There's like three of us that really liked that show, and we've all looked at each other and said, what the fuck was that?
Starting point is 01:38:00 It reminded me, you know what was reminiscent of? Yeah. Miami Vice. Last season of Miami Vice, they were chasing a guy that had Martians. They were doing that. Remember that the guy became somebody else? Don Johnson had fucking. and whatever, he forgot who he was,
Starting point is 01:38:17 so he became a renegade drug dealer. You're like, what the fuck happened? Frank Zappa? What happened? And that's what happened. What happened was with that show, the cocaine, but with other shows, you know this happens. The show is great the first season,
Starting point is 01:38:32 then one motherfucker decides to leave, to one of the writers, and then the second show is the second season strong, and the third season is stronger because now they're bonding, but usually the fourth and fifth season, now people start using those two years to get bigger and better jobs. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:38:48 And now you've got to bring people in. Plus, the executive producers move on to other projects. Like Chris did. Chris moved on to that fucking heartbreak hotel with those dudes. That wasn't that good. You know, I never saw that yet. I tried one, two episodes. Great cast, but just, it was overdone already.
Starting point is 01:39:07 Was it? Yeah, somebody already did that. And they shot him to the point. And it was, you know, his seldom. when they released Giseldda, they talked about that place. So then he came back and... You mean Grizel de Blanco? Yes.
Starting point is 01:39:22 He didn't do Grizle de Blanco. Maybe he did. No, no, no. That was Captain Zeta Jones, right? No, that was fucking the Spanish girl. She's dating the quarterback from New England. Oh. What's her name?
Starting point is 01:39:35 Sophia Vergara played that girl. But the point is that he... Oh, yeah, I'm sorry, yeah. Once they move on to other shows, because... And it happened a ton of shows. That show on ABC, David A. Kelly got really hot for a while. Michelle Pfeiffer's husband, I think he is.
Starting point is 01:39:52 Oh, yeah. He fucking, they built a studio around that motherfucker in Orange County. They built a four studio fucking, because the guy had so many projects, David R. Kelly. I think he had, like, the one about the two Italian, he had a ton of series on ABC. And, you know, after a while, you start moving from show to show. You bring your best people. Yeah. And those shows suffered.
Starting point is 01:40:14 That's what happened to Godfather Hall. And it broke my fuck. I mean, the four episodes was about Bumpy Johnson. Then Bumpy Johnson disappeared. And then you got fucking hit by a car. And then, you know, it was like, what the fuck is going on here? Right. So, but I still love you.
Starting point is 01:40:31 I have a question. That has nothing to do with the Godfather Harlem. What? Are you seriously going to call with me to Empire Casino? Yeah, I'd love to go up there one day. We need to go to Empire Casino. Is it that? Now, how do you find?
Starting point is 01:40:42 They just told me that. It's in Yonkers. Gambling got shot down in New York. That that shit I was talking about is done. Jay-Z is bringing a casino to Manhattan. Oh, 42nd Street. Yeah. To 40-second street.
Starting point is 01:40:53 It got shot down? Somebody told me that it works in the city that he thinks it got shut down. I don't think so. No, that's still alive. I've heard of it there and I've heard of it on Coney Island. Coney Island, a casino? There's a lot of people talking about putting in there, yeah. The one I heard about was by Hudson Yards.
Starting point is 01:41:12 That's the one too. They're going to have a fucking place as big as the garden, a casino. What do you really think that would do to New York City? Cripple it. I don't think it would be good. Do you see what's going on in Vegas? No. I spoke to our dear friend today.
Starting point is 01:41:28 Said he got to the airport yesterday, and he could count how many people were in the airport in two hands. Vegas on a Sunday, all the hookers are flying out, strippers, fucking everybody's flying in for the weak conventions. Yeah. And what it is, they just. That's it. That's it.
Starting point is 01:41:45 People just... They don't have the money right now. They don't have the money. So Vegas is suffering? Oh, go on the internet tonight when you go home. Bad. Yeah, like 70%. Oh, 70?
Starting point is 01:41:56 Oh, my God. They're lying. They're putting fake numbers. And they're still charging the fucking resort fees and the whole fucking thing. Not an Empire Casino and Yonkus. No, no, no, no. I get on the Ford train. And I get there.
Starting point is 01:42:13 on the four train. I get off in Yonkers. Last stop. And I love it. What kind of people in there? Top notch. Beautiful real people. Beautiful real people.
Starting point is 01:42:26 They graduated from OTB. That will go to Ooties. Which of your restaurant? Rudy's. No, they won't. They'll all go to Rudy's. What does I say to you? So it's like OTB?
Starting point is 01:42:37 It's definitely a rough crowd. There was nothing. There was nothing like playing Hockey and taking the bus to Fort Lee and going to OTB in the city on 181st Street in Port Authority. What kid is cutting school and going to OTB? You? Holy shit. And we used to cut school to go to the thing in Connecticut, Highline, too.
Starting point is 01:43:01 One of the football coaches. We'd have to drive him up to Connecticut and he'd give us 25 bucks. Cy Lawrence, heavy sigh. Wow. Oh, yeah. Yeah. But I loved all that. My mother took me to like, my mother was a gambling degenerate.
Starting point is 01:43:16 So she took me to Yonkers. That was, listen, when you go to Yonkers raceway at night, you got problems. That's where the casino is. Yeah, you got problems. The Trotters are right there. You go into daytime. I go in the day and I leave. I went the other day, 2 o'clock I got on the 4 train.
Starting point is 01:43:33 I'm sorry, 1 o'clock. I walked into the casino like 2 o'clock. I left the casino 11.30 at night. but I take an Uber home. I take an Uber back to the city. Is it still a lot? That many hours and I lost track of time. I think I'm coming out.
Starting point is 01:43:49 It's 4 o'clock. I'm like, what? 12 o'clock at night. I lost my mind. And they have blackjack and stuff there? They have the virtual blackjack. You know, it's a big screen with this like virtual pretty girl, you know.
Starting point is 01:44:04 I do slots. Me too. I'm a slot, dude. I love it. $20 and let it. Roll, another 20. Then you got to go back to the ATM. We got to go. They take a 20.
Starting point is 01:44:16 No, I, you see. The ATMs all around the casino. Oh, yeah, and they charge you $18. And then you get home and you bought a fucking property in Russia. Get the fuck out of it. I don't use an ATM anywhere but fucking where I go back. Because next thing you know, you bought a boat in Puerto Rico. You're over there.
Starting point is 01:44:34 That's fucking Yonkers dog. They got that shit wired. Yeah. And when they take your number and one day they just make a sweep. Yeah. You bought a fucking plane, you know, you don't need that in your life. I love Yonkers Casino. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 01:44:47 What slot do you like? What's a lot do you like? I like this one. It's called, what is it, my in chiefs. Okay. It's a Mayan chief. And I like this other one, Slay. It's a dragon slay.
Starting point is 01:45:07 and then one other is it's called like my nickname is Kitty Okay Some people call me Kitty And I like the Kitty cat It's like a cat that comes If you hit it
Starting point is 01:45:18 The cat comes out Meow meow It goes around And drops the money Dude There's people It drops the money It's like a whole fucking movie
Starting point is 01:45:28 I'm watching It drops the money It waves to you And I'm like Kitty I love it There's people Who like live stream
Starting point is 01:45:36 Themselves playing slots at casinos, I would pay to watch you play this. Do you like smack the screen? Oh, I punch it. Yeah, oh, I knew it. I shake it. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:45:50 I love it. I love people. And like, how do you pick a machine? I love gambling. How many of those pills did you take? Not enough. Not enough. Trust me.
Starting point is 01:46:01 He needs two more like me. Want to go to casino, No, right now? Yeah, take them. Take them. He got nothing going on tomorrow. He'll be fine. I got to tell you, the ferry coming here was unbelievable.
Starting point is 01:46:17 You know, it's crazy. You say you're bored. What could we do? You either go out to eat, you go to a movie. I go to galleries because I'm an artist and I like to look at art. That's always good for me. It may not be a good for everybody. I like that.
Starting point is 01:46:30 We go to a movie. But then you think about the other things that you don't do. taking the ferry here now that's just that very New York to we hawking right right okay but you can just get on the ferry
Starting point is 01:46:44 there's like $10 ferries that go around the city that's such a nice thing to do on a beautiful day it was it cleared my head from here to the city what was it 15 minutes eat one of those edibles
Starting point is 01:46:57 and get on the ferry it'll really clear your fucking air you think you can gilligan out there I'd rather have a little I call, what do they call them, little baseball bat? You know, the pre-roll. Yeah, the pre-roll. I like a nice little pre-roll.
Starting point is 01:47:10 All right. But I like, I don't like, I like, I like, I like, uh, Indica. There should be something in the draw for you. I don't like, uh, Sativa. No, we'll take an Uber on the way. Because I'm already hyper. Sativa makes me more hyper. I like Indica.
Starting point is 01:47:26 I can tell you already hyper. I'm hyper in this bitch. Catherine, I'm happy that you came over. That was great. Me too. We had a good time. You look beautiful as usual. Thank you.
Starting point is 01:47:38 You're still a fucking savage. I congratulate you. Thank you. On everything, especially Alto Nights. I really liked it. He gives all his money to the Putans. Ask him. And Lee, what's going on with you this week?
Starting point is 01:47:50 August 30th, I'm at the barbershop, DV barbershop and Hoboken again for two shows. Oh, shit. Look at you. And we'll be at, I'll be at the open mic Wednesday. Thursday, we got the bucket. and tickets go on sale tomorrow for Parks Casino the night before Thanksgiving.
Starting point is 01:48:08 Oh shit. That's always a good fucking night. Oh, that's the best night. That's the best night ever. Different lineup, different lineup, different crew. Come on down. You can gamble. Man.
Starting point is 01:48:19 Wait, where could I gamble in CU? Parks Casino in Philadelphia. Where? And Benthelza. Is it a casino? Bethesdom, whatever the fuck it is. I don't know. Yeah, we just did this last week.
Starting point is 01:48:30 Oh, shit. He's got the Tesla, so be careful. He's got the computer in the front seat and the shit. Does it drive by itself? Anyway, I love you, Catherine. Lee, I love you. I love you. And tickets also went on sale for November 8th in D.C., I think, and December 5th in Virginia.
Starting point is 01:48:51 I don't know. I don't even have a webpage. We're in Maryland and Virginia. One in November, one in December. Yeah, and then, but we're in Florida next week. And that's all that matters. September 6th. Hard Rock Live.
Starting point is 01:49:03 Friday night, it's Casey and the Sunshine Band. You know what I'm saying? Do a little dance. Take a little love. Get down tonight. Bring the fucking Quiluz. Bring whatever you got. Glue.
Starting point is 01:49:15 I don't give a fuck. It's Casey. He's only got two songs. You'll be jumping up and down for an hour. What's the other one? Because I'm your boogeyman. Oh, yeah, boogeyman. So he'll do like a trio.
Starting point is 01:49:29 Boogie Man, something else. I go do a, this is a new song. Listen, Casey, don't play no new songs, all right. Coke ain't even the same anymore. You got one song, just stick to it for an hour. Do a little dance, make a little love, let's down the night. Come on, keep going. Keep going, Casey.
Starting point is 01:49:46 That's it. I love you, motherfuckers. Have a great week. Stay black. And God bless you and your families, cock suckers.

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