The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - Getting raided by the DEA with "Myron," retired DEA

Episode Date: March 25, 2025

Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt are joined by retired DEA, "Myron." Myron talks his path from finance student, to prison guard, to a decades long DEA career that included countless undercover operations, the process of obtaining and utilizing confidential informants, why money is the root of everything, and much more. Support the show and try your first month of BlueChew for free. Use promo code JOEY at https://www.bluechew.com Support the show & download the DraftKings Casino app. New customers can wager just $5 to get 500 casino spins on a featured game. Sign up with code JOEYSLOTS. Support the show and get 35% off your first 3 NYKD order. Head to https://www.nykdpouches.com/CHURCH

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Fourth of July is coming. I love you guys. Welcome back to show. Yo, we're back like a hemorrhoid. What's going on, guys? It's a beautiful week. It's going to be tremendous. We got a guest today, a sensational guest.

His name is Myron. That's it. All right? You ever see that? Bullets over Broadway, when the guy would call fucking Chas Pomp, it's just Cheech. But Mr. Cheat, Tich, it's just Cheech. That's how it's going to be tonight. This is Myron, a dear friend, family, and as usual, our Jewish friend, Mr.

Fawken Lee Syatt over there. Definitely not family. What's up, my brother? Good to see you, dude. How was your weekend? My weekend was great. I had a good weekend in Boston, did a bunch of shows. That's what I had.

They went awesome. They called me from the bar. They said it was a nightmare. Oh, the bar was... The late show Saturday got canceled, so I went and did just a bar in Dorchester. Sometimes go home and hugged mom. Sometimes I just got to go home and hug mom. No, I like it.

It's fun. It's funny. Just yell into the abyss. You're a fucking trip. You know that. How's your weekend? My weekend was peaceful. It's tough not having fucking teeth.

You know, the bridge broke. You're going to get a fucking steak. You're there chewing. Like a fucking, you know, it's a nightmare. You know, they can't even put them in until June or some shit. Until June? Yeah, because they have to dig it out and remove two teeth that are still good, two teeth that go to waste, like fucking waste.

And they want like 15 grand to fucking tooth. And the insurance, they pay for, like, the towels and anesthesia and, like, a cleaning. What else? Without these teeth, how am I going to fucking survive? But anyway, what are you going to fucking do, you know? We live, we get strong, and we get better, you bad motherfuckers. And don't forget Friday, you can't eat meat. Lent.

You know what I'm saying? Remember that. Whether you're eating that monkey, whatever you want to eat, you got to give it a pass. Nothing! Fucking, you got to sit there with the white cape on and look up at the sky and wait for Jesus to touch you. All right, that's enough of the fucking religious moment. What's going on, my brother? Well, not much.

Great to have you here. Thank you. The reason why I wanted to bring you in is because you had an occupation that was one of my favorite occupations of all time, which is being a police officer. I wanted to be an attorney, and then I got four years, and that dream went out the window, you know what I'm saying?

Sometimes your dream just go down the shit. So, you know, it's always been fascinating to me, like from a regular North Bergen cop to a Hudson County cop to, you know, an FBI agent, and then the DEA, you know. And I became in love with all this shit. shit when believe it or not when I watched the first year of Narcos. I just

didn't know that they were saying when the DEA started in D.C. It was a little office over a strip club that nobody even knew they fucking existed and they went from just like we did. They went from a big bus with a pound of

weed with some sandals, some hippie dude, maybe had some speed and then they started getting kilos of coke and then the machine guns came out And it was so fucking surreal for them. Like, I don't watch all the bullshit stories. I'll just read. I'll just buy a book at Barnes & Noble's,

and I'll just read about that whole thing. Even though you came out in 90, the shitstorm was in full fucking blast. You had the fucking New York mobsters going off. You had New Jersey mopsis going off. You had tons of drugs coming into this fucking area by the shitload. And then that's when, Not really, there were still a couple of quailudes around.

I don't know what. Yeah, I never did a quailout chase. No, no, you didn't need to do a quail. We did ecstasy, though. We did a lot of ecstasy. You're in the DEA. Drug enforcement administration, yes, sir. So you were telling me you went to Faley Dickinson.

Run with it. So I was in Fairley Dickinson. First off, I went to Woodbridge High School, so I'm a New Jersey guy. I graduated, you know, Woodbridge High back in 83. I played basketball, and I ended up playing basketball at Fairley Dickinson. After a year, I said to me, myself because we had to be there like a lengthy time during winter and everything I says it wasn't for me and I just stuck to my studies and I was a finance major believe it or not and I ended up doing

you know what I'm about to talk about so I went from being a finance major to basically being a law enforcement guy I graduated in 1987 from fairly Dickinson and then shortly thereafter I made my way to the DEA that was the process started I believe in 1990 they had a hiring freeze so I had a wait like actually started in 88, excuse me, let me set that back. I ended up getting hired than 90. There was a hiring freeze for like two years, so I had to wait. In between then, I worked in a prison, a local, you know, a county jail, so, yeah. What kind of education was that in the county?

I mean, it was, I tell you what, once they locked the doors and you're in there with 150 guys, and, you know, you don't have any weapons, you don't have any clubs. And to be honest with you, maybe the guy you're working with, you know, you have two guys in the pod it might be like 5 foot 6 maybe 130 pounds and you know I was pretty in shape but you know you had again you had a lot of people in there so you had to be on

your P's and Q's you had to you know like watch your back you know because there was a lot of fighting going on a lot of people getting shanked I remember one little story and I'll tell it quickly this white dude came in and you know off to the side I said to him

watch your sneakers because someone's going to take them you know lo and behold about three hours later, I hear, oh, boom, boom, boom. I go upstairs. One of the guys from the pod took a, what he called, those mop ringers and busted them over the head. And I tell you, it was the worst sight. Then when I saw that, I was like, holy shit. You know what I mean? I really got to watch because there was like brains on tile. I mean, it wasn't that bad, but the guy was bleeding very badly. And I was like, holy shit, man. They took the sneakers?

Excuse me? They took his sneakers. They took his sneakers. They took his underwear. They, you know. Yeah. But, you know, that was my first major incident. That happened quick, so.

Why did you go from a finance major? Like, I would go to a finance major to avoid doing shit like that. And then you, why did you switch? You know what? I mean, I always love numbers. I mean, to be honest with you, growing up when I was a little kid, my mom used to play blackjack with me, poker. and, you know, I always always good in math and stuff.

So I said, you know, maybe I'll be like an investment banker. Maybe I'll be an accountant. So as it ends up, as I get out of school, I actually did pretty well in school. I graduated top 10% of my class and make a long story short again. I got a job here in Hackensack at United Jersey Bank, which then became Summit Bank, which then became Bank of America. But I lasted like one year because, I mean, the people I was hanging with, And like when I went to work, right?

I mean, it's got to be fun, too. You know what I mean? You just can't go to work in, like, crunch numbers because you go insane. Yeah, banks aren't that fun. No, no. I mean, it's nice when you get a lollipop when you're young and, you know, you smile, you know, if you put your $5 in the kettle. When you saw the brains on the wall, did you ever think about going back to the bank?

I thought about doing anything else, but where it was, man, especially because I had nothing on me, you know, you only have your mouth and, like, your mouth and, like, just your instincts. But I did, like, you know, from working inside the jail, you develop a lot of instincts because you can't use anything else but like your brain, you know. They don't give you anything? They don't give you. A walkie-talkie, you could hit the panic button.

By the time I hit the panic button, it take about maybe five minutes before anybody to come in, so you're on your own. Why don't they give you a stick, and anything? Because they're afraid that if they gave you any kind of weapon, that somebody would use that against you. And back in the day when I was here, and I'll tell you, it was Middlesex County, I still have, I think one or two people still working there. I mean, there was always a lot of people in that jail. So, like, when you came into that particular location, they would put you in depot.

And no shit, I think it would probably house like 40 people. But what ended up happening was we had to get all mats to put on the ground because there was so many people breaking the law back then, even now too. But I think they don't allow all those people in a particular pod. But there was like 160 people with two officers. checking them, you know? So, so like, if something went wrong, to be honest with you, I mean, you're fucked. But I used to play games in there with them. They loved me. They called me Robo because I would have, like, talent competitions, no shit. So what I would do is I'd give

him the fucking mic, you know what I mean, the PA and shit. And some of the brothers would sing, some other people would dance, and some other people would do, like, some comedy and shit. And whoever did the best, you know what I mean, we'd actually, like, vote on it, you know? And I would give them two cheeseburgers from the grill, because I bought it in, you know what I mean, from the kitchen staff. So that was cool. It kind of gave you a little respect where they knew that, at least I was taking care of them.

But then again, they'd probably, you know, do whatever they needed to do with me, you know, if they needed to. You know, I always love stand-up. But where it came to life was when I got locked up, you know. And you just brought up a memory like one of the nights they showed the worst movies. It was in the cafeteria. And they showed the worst. PT109.

Like those old... And this is 1988. Yeah. And they're showing these black and white movies. But every night, every time that a movie night, the projector broke. Oh. There were those old projectors. Yeah, yeah.

Like old porno projectors. And it would break. It would break. And I don't know what happened. I think now in my mind I see the guard. He was a chubby dude. Yeah. A little tan.

He was... He wasn't Spanish. He was something else. And he came over to me, and he goes, you love talking shit in the kitchen. Why don't you get up on stage? Why don't you get up on the table? Yeah.

I was like, I don't know. And then I heard some of the black guys saying, get him up there. Get him up there. How old were you, ma'am? I was 25 years old. Yeah, see, I was here in 88, too. That's when I started.

No, but I was in Colorado. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah. That's a little different than Jersey. I was in the complete different fucking state. But it was, it always, stuck with me like, in fact I was just talking to somebody about

the confidence I got doing whatever I was doing on Wednesday nights. It was like three months of it. And I was doing everything then. I was a Jamaican. I was the attorney. Right. I was the fucking house attorney. So if you got into

a beef, I went to see the little judge with here and we cut a deal. You got to do laundry for eight weeks. You can't eat bread, you know, shit like that. And then I took took over pretty much the entertainment. Yeah, that's a good thing. We would go in, but it's really weird that I

didn't forget. I knew I always did stand up in there. Right. But till you said that you were the guy did the talent contest, I was like, Jesus Christ, God bless people like you. Yeah, I'm going to be honest with you. That's definite, I mean, because, you know, you get bored in there, too, because what's in there? You got

like, you had like a little TV, like you said, they would do that movie night, and then Chow Time would come up, and everybody would go nuts because they want their slim gyms. They want their receipts. You know what I mean? And then the meds, you know, all of a sudden you hear meds, meds up, meds up. Everybody would run.

Everybody was on fucking meds. You know, so, you know, that's just the way it was. And, yeah, I learned about it. Tuesdays and Thursday, you get commissary. Yeah, and people go nuts. You take a shower and shit. You get ready for that, motherfucker. But that was problem.

That was problem, like, too, because then people would be fucking heisting people's shit. Give me your bag. You know, now I got to go over there and, you know, most of the time, I just turn the other way and let them handle it because most of the times what would happen to be honest with you, they wouldn't fight because they were scared. Some of them would, though, and you knew which ones to stay away from. I think in lower capacity, like I got four years, and I was in Boulder.

And right away they told me when I went in, they go, we got overcrowding. You're getting shipped to Texas or Oklahoma, and I'm like, what? And they're like, sit tight, we'll let you know. And three days later they came and got me. And I go, where the fuck am I going? They go, you go to Summit County jail. Oh, okay. And I was like, Summit County, this ain't a Jersey.

Oh, it's in Jersey, yeah. This is Colorado. This is a fucking ski resort. Oh, shit. And all of a sudden, I'm in a ski resort. And they're like, I go, where's my prison uniform? They're like, ah, where with the fuck you walk? And it was maybe 20 people, 20 of us.

But it was like 20 of us. And they were like maybe four guards. And I thought I was locked up. I was going to a state, I was waiting to go to a state prison. And like the first night, the guy comes to me and he goes, Diaz, what do you want? I'm like, what are you talking about? He goes, what do you want?

I go, commissary. He goes, fuck commissary. We go to Safeway. They would go to Safeway. There you go. You had it good. Oh, my God. And they had cable TV, carpeting.

We played handball outside with whatever clothes you had. But I met an interesting dude in there. I had a great story, and I read his paperwork. This motherfucker got in trouble He got caught with two kilos of Coke He sold it to the FBI Forget what his name was New York City guy

He got in trouble He got pinched and part of his deal was To buy two kilos With these two undercover cops inside Are you ready for what this motherfucker did? He Got a house That he knew was already

Vacant He set it up inside with a light he went in and he dug like a little path and he came on he took the money the two kilos of Coke and he came back to New York for like eight years

I mean the guy that they wanted The feds couldn't find them They had the whole neighborhood State out This motherfucker slipped right through him It was the FBI though right It was the FBI It wouldn't have been the DEA

No They let him slip right through He was there because they caught him Eight years later And now he was looking at like 28 fucking years Oh no Tremendous This was a great program

they ran up there. Anyway, I'm sorry. That's all right. That's funny because it reminds me of something quick that I'm going to just talk about. And I won't really mention an office, but we have like 19, 20 offices. But there was an office that locked up two guys. And let's say this is about maybe like 12, 14 years ago. So what ended up happening was there was a big marathon that most of the agents, and there wasn't many agents in this particular group, that they went to this marathon after they locked a guy up, and they thought somebody was still with the guy taking care of them. So it was a Friday.

You know what I mean? So this guy is in one of our lockups, you know, our cell blocks. Because what happens is we have a holding tank and then we'll take you like if it was Eastern District or Southern District, we'd take you to Brooklyn or Manhattan. But this guy, for some fucking reason, they forgot that he was there. So this guy stayed in, he stayed in the fucking holding tank, no shit for three days. And nobody was there. so he didn't eat anything, but he was drinking from the toilet bowl.

So thank God that, you know, we have a toilet bowl in there. But I tell you what, I mean, a lot of you, you're laughing at all and stuff. The guy, I think, come away with like $6 million because there was a massive lawsuit. And this is legit, you know, this is what happened. How do you forget about somebody? That's what we all say. But again, I won't mention the office and it's my own people, but it did happen. Six million for fucking toilet water?

Yeah, I would do that too. I would do that too by the fucking barrel. I might eat my own shit for that. I use it, it as skin cleans it. It might even hit. People wash themselves with their own feces. It's a hit. You know, Gloria Stefan is doing it.

How long did it take him to start drinking from the toilet? I mean, I think the guy was a little high, too, from the, you know. Oh, fuck you. You got to be high. You know, it was a couple of kilos they got him with, but I think it was like the next day because I think he was still, like, yelling for people. And, like, you know, like, nobody came. You know, he's banging from what he says on a, you know, the toilet bowl is like metal,

so he's banging on it, you know what I mean? Nobody's coming. They're all out of marathon. You know, they're going like in Vegas. Right. So, you know, I'm talking about a division that's close to Vegas, but, you know, sometimes shit happens, man, you know. So what were your three first years in the DA about?

Oh, Jesus. My first day, I mean, it was amazing. I mean, I came in full of piss and vinegar. I had a nice suit on. So they said, you're going to group D-22, you know. So I says, okay, so I go. I meet the guy. guys, they're all laughing at me because I got a suit on.

You know, I go, well, you know, it's a first day. He goes, take the suit off, you know. Okay, we're going out tonight. So I go, what are we going to do? What are we going to do, you know? And there's like 10 guys, 12 guys to a group. You know, everybody has their own car. You have your own desk.

We're going to the Washington Heights, okay, where the Dominicans are. So I go, let's go, you know. So I go in the car with my senior partner, and I'm riding shotgun. He's talking to me. And we got a deal going with, we have two of our informants. and they're meeting with some Dominicans, and we got, like, transmitters going, and everything's, you know, we're watching everything.

All of a sudden, the hit signal goes, you know, get out, get out, we got to go get them, you know. So now I get out of the car with my partner, and I was in good shit because I just came to the academy, so I was one of the first ones there, and I got one of the guys that went in the bodega on the ground. Everybody else started scattering, because, again, you're in the heights.

They think you're coming for everybody, you know? No shit, there was kilos coming out of the window, you know what I mean, money and shit. And I'm in the boat. And we're looking for two other guys that escaped. So I left a guy with one of our other guys. And three of us or four of us went off looking in the streets for these guys. We were going to apartments and no shit.

One of my partner, he was carrying a machine gun. And he goes, take the machine gun. And I go, what do you mean? I never was even trained on a machine gun. Even in the cad, we only shot it a couple times. So I just threw this motherfucker on my back. And I remember when I was running, it was hit me in the head. I was like, oh, Jesus, I had like lumps on my head.

But we ended up not getting the rest of the guys, but the moral of the story, I mean, it was a fun first day. And the thing I vividly remember, so now you make the arrest, right? You go back to the office now. They're having the new guy process them and do all that bullshit, you know, taking pictures. Now I got to stay all night with the guy, you know what I mean? And then in the morning, I got to take the guy to a Raymond. So it was a long day.

I think, honestly, I probably slept like 20 hours after that, you know, to get my, energy back, but it was fun. And I was like, wow, this is where I want to be. This is fun. I mean, you know, it's not the bank, you know what I mean? So, yeah, it was far cry from the bank, so. So what you're telling me is when you rob a bank, it's the best

day of their lives. Yeah, yeah, I get some actually in there. Yeah, you got to have that. I love that. You see the managing a bitch slapped. Ba-pah! Give me the safe. Yeah. Why, why does the DEA go and not the cops?

Like, why are you brought in? Are they just bigger people? I mean, it really depends on, like, you work, like, for instance, in New York. I was always in New York. I had to do a tour in D.C. When you're in New York, there's about 20 groups here, and each group specializes in possibly something. So, like, and then you make your own cases, you know, so, like, well, I mean, you make cases based on informants. If you don't have informants, you're not going to make cases. But we did make cases, and I'll get to that later, in Brooklyn without informants, and that was difficult. But, I mean, once you get you, we Once you get your horses, your informants, they're just setting up deals.

And you could do deals basically every night. I mean, you really don't want it because then you're in jail. Excuse me, you're in jail. You're in court all week long and you've got to do other things. So, I mean, it's not like we're doing bigger cases. We are. But, you know, we've got to remember one thing, too, that the DEA has a lot of money. So in order to make buys, like what I'll get into later on, like if you're with NYPD,

the most you're going to do a buy for is like $4,500. where I was like giving like 40,000 to people. Jesus. You know, and letting it walk and doing it two or three times. So, I mean, you know. How hard is it to convince someone to be an informant? Because I think I'd flip immediately. I don't think you could have that hard.

No disrespect. I think you'd probably flip in two seconds. I would offer it immediately. Like some people, like they act like they're not going to do it. I would, was it hard to flip people? Not really because when we, I mean, let's just take, for instance, It's like in the Heights. When we worked the Heights, right?

Right. We would do crack cases. Okay. So there was mandatory sentencing federal guidelines where if we got them with 50 grams of crack, you're definitely doing 10 years. That's a long, long tour. You know what I mean? Right.

The Dominicans, to be honest with you, because they didn't speak much English back then, they didn't really know what the fuck was going on. So you'd bring them back to sell blocks. They wouldn't talk, right? And they wouldn't talk, and they'd just like, you know what I mean? And I just say, you know, all my group would say, let's just take them down we're tired three four days later they'd be crying

you know now all of a sudden they're speaking fucking English you know what I'm going to the attorneys hey can you get me out of here you know what I mean I go well your time might be lost because like people know you're in jail now but to be honest with you I was always a decent guy when people you know cooperated

because I feel people make mistakes you know what I mean and if you make a mistake you know what I mean instead of doing 10 years perhaps you know with the judge's approval and some letters written to attorneys and stuff. Maybe they'll do like five or six, or sometimes maybe it'll do like zero,

like, you know, depending on what the circumstances are. So. And can you stop being an informant or are you just in informing forever now? We let you know when you stop. You know what? You get shot in the head. No, I mean, and you know what?

They come to the funeral. Your son was a great informant. Yeah, yeah. Thanks a lot. He did a great job, you know. He did a great job. But, but you know what? Yeah.

I mean, some people, to be honest, I had people that just came in that just wanted to be an informant because, let's just say you were doing a money case, okay? Meaning like you're looking for like a million dollars. You're looking to do a reverse on somebody. Instead of buying cocaine, you're saying you have cocaine or you have heroin, right? If somebody shows up, let's just say, with, you know, 200,000 and stuff, okay, and we come and we lock you up, you know, federally, I mean, it's a conspiracy. You're still going to get hit for, you know, what you were negotiating. for. But what ends up happening is we collect the money. Now, if the informant was not a defendant informant, we would put them in for 25% of that cut. So for instance, I would cut a check,

not me personally, but it would come from headquarters maybe six months later. That person might get like 60, 70,000. And let's just say you're doing a million dollars. Let's say you're doing, I had informants that made more money than probably my whole group. And you know what? it was like, we'd be like, motherfucker. Maybe I should just stop and become an informant because here I am not making peanuts, but, you know, you know, these guys are making real money, you know, so. I didn't know they got paid like that.

That's pretty cool. Yeah, you can put them in for 25%. Like I said, some guys would just walk in and say, hey, I know somebody who's got money and, you know, you take it from there, and we're not going to turn them down. So, you know, it was fun. It was, I tell you, it was a blast, man.

I wish I was back there, you know? I mean, still doing it. but I tell you the commute for me, and I'm talking about silly shit now, but the commute was horrible because I live down south, you know what I mean? So every day you'd have to make that track down. You know, sometimes, you know, 9, 30, 10 o'clock at night, you're looking like the fucking Holland Tunnel is jammed up.

And I'm like saying to myself, what are they doing, waxing the fucking tiles again? You know, it's like you never got home, you know? It was hard, especially if you had kids. Now, when did, before you started making buys and all that stuff, do they actually train you? I mean, you really can't train someone to make a buy. I mean, we had like undercover classes, I mean,

which is silly over at the academy. Most of the people, I'm going to be honest with you, and I'm not trying to tap myself on the back or whatever, but for a white guy, I did a lot undercover, you know, and I enjoyed it because I don't mind getting front of people and talking if I don't know them, if I do know them. I don't give a shit if I make a fool out of myself, you know, and a lot of people ask me to do undercover for their cases.

So I've done, I did a lot, you know what I mean? And that was fun. That was the best part of the job for me doing the undercover. I frankly didn't like doing surveillance because, you know, you'd have to sit on somebody for 10 hours. You might not see shit. You know, maybe hear a dog barking in the place or maybe the guy finally leaves his house,

but he goes to Burger King and goes back. You know, but you need the surveillance. You know what I mean? You got to keep eyes on these guys to see, you know, what they're doing, who they're meeting with. And a lot of these guys are nighthouse. So, I mean, it's a lot of times you've got to stay there a long time. You just don't leave.

You know what I mean? You got to leave when the boss says go. And if you had a good boss sometimes, you let you go a little early, but, you know. Tough to have a marriage with that job. It was rough. It was rough. Yeah, I gave my wife, obviously, you know, Denise, I mean, a lot of credit because we had two sons and, you know, they were in school and she had to do everything. And, you know, by time I got home, I tell you, she had, you know, food on the table, you know, even if I came home late. So, and then the kids would be in bed.

So I missed a lot of the kids, you know, different things that they were. we're doing with sports or with school, school functions, their friends. I missed all that. And that's horrible. You know, so. It's just crazy because for years, as George knows, I'm a Miami vice fan. Yeah. Like, so was everybody else my age at the time.

And I remember, like, guys going to buy 10 kilos and not doing a line of Coke. Yeah. Like, just looking at it with a tube and giving the money. And the guy would leave. I'm like, bitch, I got to see you do something. Like, that's always been my thing.

Like, and then I got locked up, and the, it's a federal case. Okay. So they arrested me for, like, three hours, and they put me in a federal bin in Boulder. But I was in there with some dude who I'd never seen before. He was dressed like he was going to a fucking Michael Jackson party. This motherfucker had, like, a tuxedo on. The tuxedo was loose. Like Elvis, not Elvis, but like, Thomas.

I wasn't that Elvis, but like Tom Jones. He would let the tuxedo top on. What's new pussy cat? Fucking guy was beautiful, sharp hair, moosed up. You know, you could tell he had done coke for like four days. And we started talking. And, you know, I go, what happened? And he's like, dog, this is the wildest thing.

And we just started talking, talking. And he said that he went on a trip with a girl and another couple. And on the way back, that guy was. a fucking undercover fed. But he goes, he was doing coke with me, line for lines. And I'm like...

Nah, the guy was bullshitting, man. But then you watch a movie like Rush. I know you've seen that. Yeah, yeah. I try not to watch him, but I tell you what, I enjoy narcos and stuff like that. No, not narco. Yeah, no.

The movie with the guitar player, the crazy piano player. Yeah. He dated Cher, George. He was a piano player in that band that does the Ormond brother. Did you ever see that movie?

I probably did, but it's not coming to me right now. It's a movie about he's like a kingpin somewhere, but the moral of story is Jason Patrick, Jackie Gleason's grandson, and the pretty girl from... Fast times. Fast times. They come undercover agents,

but their boss is Sam, whatever his name is, and he just tells them, you've got to get high with these people. And these guys go off. the fucking deep end. And then they go to a rehab. By the time they go to court, they look like, you know,

Johnny Verucci and there's no blood test, there's no, they piss positive, they shave their head, I don't know. You know, have you heard this shit, or is this just jailhouse bullshit? Nah, I mean, like he says, it is probably a story, but, like, when I was doing my things

or anybody does their things, if you're dealing with, like, legit businessman, because, you know, you might be thinking about maybe some mutts on the street, you know what I mean, some kids or some, but, you know, with the DEA, most of the times what we were dealing with normally. I mean, you'd have to start low sometimes.

You're talking, these are businessmen, Colombians, you know what I mean? Mexicans now, right? Whether it be the Italians. So, I mean, these guys ain't really doing this shit. So, like, when I was posing and doing some of my things and stuff, I mean, nobody would even ask me that. And I met some pretty top-heavy people. And, you know, what, I would just be like, if they asked me, I'd be like, get the fun.

I don't do that shit. You know what I mean? I just make money off it. I mean, you know, that's just poison. You know, so, you know, could be stories. I know, you know, with the DEA, I mean, that doesn't go down at all. But, again, it depends on who you're working. Like, you know, I would never go, although I have done this.

I mean, you're not supposed to go in people's houses and stuff like that or in apartments or nightclubs and shit. I've done that on a lot of occasions. I go to the nightclub. Yeah, but they don't want you going in because then surveillance doesn't see you. I mean, I have a story. I don't even want it. I have so many stories.

I mean, like on the way home, there's a club, you know, where people hang out. And on the way home, before you go home, you're stopping and then get a drink, she was going on in your neighborhood. I thought it was like that. No, I'm talking about like if I'm going, even to go make a buy and shit,

I mean, it was times that, you know, I would go and be honest with you, I have a drink or two before I go in and make a buy. And, you know, I'll tell you, I'll give you one quick story. I don't know how it's going to come out. My memory's a little shot, but one of the guys from DEA was working this guy,

he was a Russian guy. He was a big motherfucker about 6-5-3-Hundee, and I didn't know him from Adam, nor did the DEA agent that had the case. But apparently he killed a cop in Queens, you know, sort of like, hey, Myron, you know, I'm like, what? You think you could try to meet this guy? I'm like, do you know him? Do you have an informant? No. You have a phone number?

I got a phone number. So I end up calling the guy, you know what I mean? Just out of random. Just say, fuck it. Let me try it. I forgot the guy's name. I believe it might have been Steve or whatever, but he was a Russian guy. kid. He didn't speak full English and I'm like, I call up, I go, hey man, I, you know, I know you

from somebody from somewhere and, you know what I mean? I know you're over at the, it was the limelight with Pete Gation and stuff. Because to be honest, which our office was right across the street, so we would watch it a lot. And he ended up wanting to meet me based on, you know, I don't know what the fuck I said, but we ended up meeting. But again, to make a long story short, he wanted to meet in an area maybe it was about six blocks away and I got there early with my surveillance team and I says man I'm here early I'm by myself

and I'm like you know I'm a little nervous too because he's a big guy he might have killed this cop and it was a big story back in the day the cop in Queens who got they come up to the car and they pull the trigger and they put one in his head and so I got there early and I'm like fuck I'm looking

I'm looking around for a bar or something you know so I see one and I go I go over to the bar now everyone's watching me I didn't give a shit, you know, my surveillance. I go to try to get the door. The guy goes, you can't come in here. I go, what do you mean? I said, I want to get a fucking drink.

He goes, you're not allowed in here. I'm shaking my head, and I go, why, you know? I'm looking around, though, and I'm seeing something a little peculiar, you know what I mean? Because it was nothing but guys in there, you know? So what ended up happening was, now the guy calls me and says, are you here? I go, yeah, I'm here. I go, he goes, where are you? I go, well, I'm by this bar.

I go, but I can't get in. He goes, I'm inside the bar. I go, really? I go, he goes, try to come in now. So I go back, they let me in. It was a gay place, you know what I mean? With all guys in there, I mean, it was crazy shit going on. I can't even recall because I was like a little nervous to meet this guy, and he was big.

He met me at the door. He went to everybody, but there was guys on the bar, like, you know, shaking and, you know, everyone's drinking shots. They're all dancing, bumping with each other. All of a sudden, he goes, come on downstairs. Now, there's all marble going. down these stairs and I'm going to myself, motherfucker, mire. I'm saying to myself,

you're by yourself, man. I go, I got to go. I'm fucking ready in here, you know. So I follow him down there and I stop at the end of the stairs. Now, he goes in a urinal. You know what I mean? And this guy is huge. I don't know how we got the fuck in there. You know, because he got to squeeze in there. It was like Superman.

And he's in there. Now I'm like, I'm a little nervous, you know? And I don't normally get nervous like that. He opens the door and he goes, come on in. Now, we're in a gay joint and I'm not trying to pick on it, but I'm thinking, what's this guy going to do? You know, is you going to do something to me in there, whatever? I'm just thinking crazy thoughts, you know?

So I go in there and he goes, you got the money. I go, yeah, you got the money. Goes the stuff's underneath the toilet. I looked at him and I go, I'm not fucking bending down to get that shit. I go, go get that shit and give it to me like a fucking man, you know what I mean? But he was nervous, too. I was nervous. We ended up doing the deal is the moral of the story.

You know what I mean? When I came back out and I went back to the office, everybody was pissed at me because I went inside, but I did the job. But again, those are the kind of things you don't want to do because a couple of our other agents, like namely, and I'll mention one that I had a case, was Everett Hatcher. I don't know if you all remember Everett Hatcher from Staten Island. Gus Farachi was going bananas there in Staten Island.

There was a movie made about. Actually, Tony Danza played Gus Farachi, and he was out of control. And he killed, our guy, excuse me, Everett Hatcher was doing undercover. and something happened. I don't want to get into it, but the guys lost him and he ended up getting killed. And basically what happened after that, which was obviously very sad to see somebody getting taken out like that and that somebody could actually do something like that over drugs. But I guess Farachi was just nuts, you know what I mean? So what ended up happening for like a good six months after that,

we rode them, all the guys, the Italian guys, every fucking family broke down their games, did everything until somebody, you know, came up where this guy's at, Farachi. I don't know. If you saw the movie, I mean. There was a movie. Yeah, I remember. Yeah, I mean, Tony Danza played him. I think it was Tony Danza.

He plays all those movies. He was in another one of ours that, a mob over Miami, was another movie that was made about that Chris Ludwitzen kid, who was dating Madonna. Yep. You know, but he had issues that nobody knew. He opened up a club in Lord of Dale. It was a club liquids. Liquid, yeah.

It was one of the biggest clubs. Right. night. Black cat, pussycat. Yeah. On Monday night, I went there once they gave me a cock ring. On a Monday night, I went there. There you go. With some people from the improv,

I was in shock. I didn't even know what a cock ring was. I ain't going to lie, nobody here. I was like 40 years old. I had no idea. That's how deep day took it. Let me tell you how hot the club was. On Monday nights, it was very tough to get a plane ticket out of Newark or LaGuardia to go to Miami.

And that was still a lot. How hot it was. I mean, now even today, that's hot. I mean, Miami's hotter than Vegas. I mean, it's unbelievable. But, yeah, I mean, that's a whole world. Where is Chris Ludwig now? Let's get to it.

Last I heard, he had a pizza place two miles from me. He might. I mean, like I said. He opened up two restaurants in LA again. Let me tell you who else he dated. That everybody forgot about. I know who. I know Sophia Vergara.

Vergara. Yeah, but they, you know, who was also in that mix was Sandra Bernhardt They were all, you know, that was You know, back in the day, obviously Madonna was The shit, you know? And this kid, I think, you know what? And the reason I noticed, because what ended up happening

was we did a lot of cases and sometimes when you do Too many of them, you give cases away. I had given that particular case away to another guy who worked it, but I still was involved with it. But he was like 23, 24 years old. He was run in Miami. I mean, and he had a lot of people behind him, you know what I mean, that were mob guys.

But he was a tough kid. You know what I mean? He was hurting people in his clubs. You know what I mean? If they disrespected him. And he did get a lot of respect there until what ended up happening was his history came back on him. You know, and that was he did a pushing job in Staten Island with this other kid. What's that?

What's the kid's the name he did it with? Because one of those just got out. I'll tell you, I'm going to give up names. There was one kid. Actually, all three of them were there. I think Pascielo, then he changed his name to Ludwigs in because I guess he broke off from his father. I mean, he was with another kid by name of Reynolds. He had Reynolds or something.

No, it was Tommy Reynolds. And then there was somebody else. Again, I had dropped that kid. The guy just got out of jail, maybe a month ago. But they did, you know, a decent amount of time. And I tell you, it was horrible what these kids did. I mean, they knocked on the door because in Statenland because they thought there was like, I think, $300,000 in a fucking cereal box, whatever it may be.

be and the lady come to the door and her husband was behind her and and the kid Reynolds just come boom and shot her you know and uh you know Jesus man and so that's that's what came back to him you know where you know he was he would have been gold there in Miami but he had to do his time and I think he ended up doing 16 years maybe or I'm not I'm not actually sure you know what I mean because I didn't follow again you can't quote me on some of these things even some of the name sometimes because it's been a little while but yeah you know Did anything like that happen when you were undercover? Like anyone pull a gun?

Anything like, and what are you doing that situation? Well, thank God nobody ever pulled a gun. Like I said, because I never would have a gun on me. Because when I worked a lot of these mob guys and I worked some older guys from the French Connection Day, and that's when I was getting that, giving $40,000 and letting it pass. I let it walk three times. That's how much the bosses loved this case because we got involved with some good people. But when I started meeting these guys, and I'll mention, you know,

And this guy just did, he did more time in Connecticut, and I think he just got out again. After we locked him up, he got out, he just likes to be in jail, I guess. I guess he likes the commissary, you know what I mean, the slim jims and shit. But, you know, I was meeting a guy by the name of Frankie Catino, and he was an old fucking guy. And I would meet him at a place called La Magnet over in the city, which was on like 53rd and 2nd Avenue. And I tell you, that was a fun case because, I'm kind of losing myself here because this case initially was handed to us through an informant from Jersey. Actually, and I'll say he's dead now. Joey Epolito was the informant. And I got to give props to, you know, my partners and the case agents on this, on all these cases I'm

talking about. One is Eric Stangby and the other one is Robert Brissillery, who are, you know, great agents and we did a lot of things. But, but, yeah, I was meeting this guy at this La Magnet and, like, they would patch you down right away. So if you had a gun on you and shit, you know I mean, it wasn't working. It would pat you down for wires. And I remember, I used to bring a whole wide of cash into La Magnette. And I felt like a king because, you know, I really didn't have that money, but I was taking it from, you know, the government, you know. So I remember the bartender, she was a good-looking girl, you know what I mean? And she liked when I come in because I'd say champagne, boom, boom, get this guy this, whatever, and I'd always give her a good tip. But that's when

I first, you know, started meeting, we called him Herbie, Frank Cotino. in La Maganette, and that was a big case. There's something, I mean, he was involved with the French Connection Day. You remember the French Connection? I mean, you know, back in the 70s where that was the boys from Pleasantville Avenue. Okay, you know, Elvis Presley sung about that, right? What was the name of that song? The Purple, the Purple Gang, you know what I mean?

So that was fun because I was meeting with three or four guys at that time, and that case took about a year. It all came from, you know, that one informant who now, unfortunately, I mean, who ended up, to be honest with you, he was a really good guy. I mean, he just made some mistakes, and he was involved with O.J. Simpson back in the day, that's how popular this guy was. He was a very charismatic person, and his father was big in the mob, too. His father was Joey, and Joey was a big marijuana coke guy. So he's the one. I had to actually meet his brother while Joey was.

was in jail. I met his brother in Point Pleasant for like a weekend to go over our game plan because I had to remember like all these people because I was supposed to be like Joey's like guy, you know, now it took over. So, you know, I was spending a lot of time with them. And then we, they set me free. And for like a year and a half, we went up on a lot of wires. We locked up a lot of people again. Rob Brissillery and in the group, he did an outstanding job. And, you know, we actually got into the heroin was coming from China. And there's a bit. difference between heroin. You know, there was Afghani heroin. There's all kind of crazy heroin, right? There's hillbilly heroin. But the shit from China, man, when he bought that shit to me,

we always met at La Magnet, I'd say, I'd say to him, A. Herbie, I go, you got it, right? Because we'd be sitting and having some pasta and shit, like on a little table outside. And I vividly remember, I could smell the heroin. That's how strong it was. And, you know, I'd give him the $40,000. He'd give me the fucking brick, and we'd go. You know, and that was that. And we did that for a year. I made three or four bisoned him. So we spent the loan just the money, you know, due to multiplication four times four, it's 160,000.

Right? But we ended up getting good players, you know? Again, I can go into a lot of other names and stuff that maybe you all know or maybe you don't, but they were like, this guy was related to like captains from the Lucchese family you know, and a lot of high level people.

So, yeah. It's crazy how many of those guys made millions of dollars. Well, this guy... Yeah, but you know what, the funny fucking thing about it is this guy, Herbie, he looked like, honestly, he looked like Mr. fucking Padu. You know, he was skinny. He had no fucking here. He hardly had a car.

So, like, for instance, he had the juice enough to get the heroin, you know, but these guys like that, like, and you'll see a lot of guys, like, they don't really have the money. They're not really the businessman, you know, so this guy would do whatever he can to, you know, to make a dollar, you know. And I don't know what his cut was, when he took off the end, you know. But then again, on another occasion, he loved the fact because I was fucking winding down. Then I bought him a warm-up suit. I gave him a case of fucking this. It all went together where it gave you like kind of credibility, you know?

So that was fun. That was one of my, you know, I don't want to say best undercovers were, but it was like, it was like just fun to do. Because I didn't have to go to the office. You know, my one big boss, you could wear sweats, you could wear shorts. I'd make phone calls from around my house now, you know, because they didn't. knew I was from New Jersey, so that was cool. Did you ever have to be careful of, like, not going to that area of the city when you were just off?

So, like, they wouldn't recognize you? Or that wasn't something you worried about? It really wasn't worried about it. But one thing that happened, and it's a good thing that you brought this up, because, again, my mind is all over the place. The thing that happened in this case, okay, is when this thing fucking went down, we locked up about 20-something people, okay? And what happened was the undercover is not allowed to.

to be there for the takedown, obviously, because they don't want to see, like, oh, you know, I called myself Chuck, by the way, you know what I mean, when I was doing undercover. So what ended up happening, they did the takedown. And during the takedown, you know, afterwards, I came into cell blocks. And they were trying to figure out what the fuck happened, you know? And all of a sudden, Herbie saw me. And they overheard, like, someone saying, hey, Myron, come here. Herbie goes like this

I can't believe I got did by a fucking guy by name of Myron And I looked at Herbie Because I had promised Herbie I said Herbie You know in a week or so Stones around I got fucking tickets We're gonna go I said well you know what fucking Herbie

You ain't going to the fucking Stones concert either You know so Yeah but you know Those were the kind of guys Like we locked up like a lot of the older guys They didn't really give a shit They didn't mind doing time You know what I mean

It was like you know Like they go and play probably fucking dominoes or something. But then again, I just found that with Cotino. I'm looking through some articles. He got out after doing 10 years with us. He went right fucking back in like a year later. He got caught in

Connecticut. He had a lot of ties to Le Cases in Connecticut. One of them was like this guy, Anthony Bowat. He was well known. He was one of the captains and stuff. They were involved with Jesus, gas pipe. You remember gas pipe? He wanted to blow what fucking

MDC. He wanted to escaped there. He had, it was, he was going to do it. You know what I mean? So you can't make the shit up. I mean, when you're on, when you're on a wiretap and a lot of times I would be listening, like the first wire we did, which I didn't even get into, I mean, the shit that these motherfuckers say on the phone. I mean, you just got to laugh, you know, because they're saying, shh, don't talk, don't talk, you know what I mean? But yet they're fucking telling you everything. And I'm laughing. And back in the day, I mean, nowadays the kids that, you know, and I call them kids, because they are. The agents have everything

computerized. Back in the day, I'd be on four fucking phones with our group. I'd be in a chair that had the wheels like this. I'd have to, like, one phone would be going off. I'd wheel over there, right down the car. The other one's going off, wheel over there. You'd be going nuts, you know, because this talk so much.

You know, and that's how you get them, you know? And that's how we did get them. And it was fun. We locked up 75 fucking people on that first case with me and Eric Stangby. Again, I want to mention him because you know he was my senior partner and um it was unbelievable i mean we started with a beeper back in the days that's why he says we normally start with informants right we still we backed out of a beeper they

were we were we're beepers back then in bayridge and bensonhurst we backed out of that and we got 80 fucking guys man 80 fucking guys it didn't stop you know i wanted the case to end because it was like a matter of fact i'll tell you a story when we did the fucking take down this is just a little side note i had one group there was one guy that was doing some shit and you're just a little because the conspiracy in the federal system, you're still going to do the same amount of time. But this guy was dealing low-level with this crew, but he fucking lived in no shit.

He lived on the Avenue U in a fucking box, like a cardboard box. And we wrote the instructions on to all the people that when you go out and do the takedown, there's like five guys to go do them. We said, yeah, you're going to find this fucking guy Matt. He's going to be in this fucking cardboard box. And lo and behold, they come back to the lockups after he goes,

Myron, you were fucking right. He was in the cardboard box. And, you know, here he is involved with all these other guys. And, you know. So let me ask you this. Because I get mad at my friends who, like, will text about buying weed from, like, when they don't go to a dispensary, but they'll be like, hey, do you have trees tonight or I'm looking for. Yeah. You ain't.

Cops know what that mean. Like, they're being stupid, right? Like, if they text about, like, buying weed. I mean, of course, but back in the day. But nowadays, I'm going to be honest with you, man. Nobody bothers with that shit. I mean, like even back in the day, like for federally, see, we used to do a lot of the Italians on the marijuana, but we would do them on RICO's. If you all know what the RICO is, you know, you have to have two predicate felons.

So they might be doing gambling. They might be doing prostitution. They might have had a couple of murders. And we'd bang them. And that's how actually Giuliani started this shit, you know, with the RICO. So when you get them, they're doing like just about life. And, you know, basically they got a flip. But nobody's bothering with that shit.

I mean, it would take 1,600 pounds back in the day for me to actually have. have anyone do a little bit of time. But when you put that together with other charges, then it, you know, makes a difference. $1,600 pounds? Yeah, that was the federal guidelines, I think, for, like, you might get, like, five years. Five years?

But not even that, because you probably get out, you know, early. But we didn't, like I said, we did that as, we did RICO's. We put that on top of other charges, you know, so. Dude, they scared us so much in school? I thought if I bought, like, $10 with the weed, I was going to jail forever. I was scared

Well it's good that you were scared to be honest Because you got to fear something in life So that's good But you know the weed stuff I mean even now I mean everything is different now too So there's some jurisdictions Like I went out to L.A

And again that goes back to the epilito thing And we were doing more buys from this It turned out to be the OJ thing But what ended up happening was Sometimes they wouldn't even want to do the cases If you can get them 10 kilos of coke That's how different districts work Like southern district

in Eastern District were great, they would do whatever you wanted. But you go out to, like, when we talk about now, I don't want to get into politics, but like California is the worst. You could do whatever the fuck you want over there, you know? So, I mean, you know, 10 kilos back in the day, they didn't even want it. But because it was a mob case and bosses called bosses, we went and me and Brizzell area mentioned, we went and we bought off a couple of guys, and that was a funny story too. You know, that all came back to the OJ thing, which has been in a lot of articles that, you know, when O.J. was actually driving that fucking Bronco, he was talking to Cowens, and Cowans, Al Cowanins, called our informant because he was out,

saying, how does he get out of town? You know what I mean? So a lot was spoken while he was in that Bronco, OJ. And what ended up happening was the ADA in California didn't want to use our informant. They probably thought they had enough. And like, maybe he would ruin the case. But as it turns out, you know what I mean you saw what happened but that that that particular case see see and I'm going to say it because this is the they called OJ to snowman okay because my informant I'm not my informant but our informant DIA's informant was giving him coke he was a big cokehead and then in return see Joey Epilito had a guy his name was Charlie Tuna he would run his business and Charlie Tuna there's a lot of Charlie Tuna so again but that this one I remember but he would actually go and give OJ shit on the yarn, but OJ would then hook these guys up with legit customers that would want kilos in Hollywood and stuff. And that's how I believe that whole thing started with OJ,

you know, killing Nicole because she was good friends with Faye Resnick. And what it ended up happening was this guy, Charlie, I think, was there that day. And he was starting shit with OJ, getting them all revved up about, hey, your girl is with this Resnick girl, They're Coke heads. They were in Mexico with some guys doing Coke. And, you know, I'm just saying maybe that put him in a rage.

And, you know what I mean? Because he wrote a book that if I did, you know what I mean, if I did kill her. I believe he did. But, you know, I think this also had a play in it. You know, the drugs was a big play. Because, I mean, to kill somebody like that, I mean, I couldn't hurt a fucking squirrel. I mean, if they were coming after my family, I'm going to take care of my family. But, I mean, that was a gruesome murder.

So there had to be something behind that. You know what I mean? The way he was enraged. Well, I heard that two years after that murder, the restaurant, Mezzaluna, was closed down because of, that's selling fucking keys out of that. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I know the informant that I'm talking about, Joe, he owned two restaurants there, and that might have been the one.

I'm telling you, and I think you're right. That's where they were. But he didn't even give a fuck about that. Like Joey, and I knew Joey, you know, well, from just meeting with him and stuff. But in regards you, he didn't even give a fuck about his restaurant. Like he'd have a million of these Hollywood people come in. He didn't even want to talk to him. He was good like that, you know?

It was nothing to him. And that's why he said, fuck it. He sold that restaurant. But you know what? He ended up getting into, you know, problems. He had to face the music, right? Because he was looking to do 15 to 18 years. He fucking escaped out of jail.

That's another thing. And he went back in. But then he decided to cooperate. And you know what? I like the guy, man. I mean, I spoke to him a lot. He was, you know, even though he did what he did, I mean, he was a nice guy. And I just talked to my partner the other day, and he loved him, too, not in a way.

Like, I love, but he was a good guy. But, like, he said before, and he died at home, and he was able to come home for three years. We got him out earlier. And he called my partner, Briss O'Leary, right before he died, and he thanked him. You know, like, thank you so much for giving me, you know, the time that I could spend with my family, because he had cancer. And he ended up dying. And that was more or less could have been the last person he spoke to. You know, so again, you know what I mean?

These are people. Some of them are real cruel. Some of them are real bad. And you know the difference. I mean, I'm sure we all know the difference. But some of them are not bad. You know, they just get caught out there doing a thing, you know. Hey, it's March.

I got to talk about stuff about Drap Kings and some other people. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're going to take a five-minute breathing. We'll be back, Jack. Hey, Uncle Joe here. Listen, everybody's looking for crazy rewards. And if that's what you're looking for, Draft King Casino is the right place.

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contains nicotine, and nicotine is an addictive chemical. Okay? Uncle Joey loves you. Thank you for supporting our show, and thank you guys at home for watching. All right, we're back, Jack. It's a beautiful Tuesday morning, wherever the fuck you are. Anyway, my man's still here. Myron, I want to ask him some questions about the Mexicans.

Before I ask you a question, Myron, just to be honest with you. I'm a big book guy. And there's nothing I hate it. more than reading a book and six years later finding out they turned the movie they turned the book into a movie into a movie and you go there

with your dick hard and it's completely different from what you read. All of a sudden there's a sister involved and she's dating the midget in the basement and you're like, what the fuck that I come from me. There's only two books I stand behind. Silence of the Lambs

is just the way it is on book as it isn't a movie. Great movie. And there's another one. God damn it, it was just Sleepers. Oh, sleepers. I didn't see that.

Silence of the Lambs was a good one. Sleepers, but those two books. Everything else I watch, I know where I just came from. I know people's story, and next thing you know, they rewrite it, you're fucking pissed,

but they throw you another million to shut your fucking mouth. Of course. Because if not, you're not going to have dick, okay? You told that little mistress, you're going to be in a house, Hawaii with fireworks and a pineapple, that's over.

That's over. So now you go, okay, add my sister and make my mother black. It doesn't make a difference anymore. And that's it. And you don't know it until he goes on a show 15 years from now. And says, did you know my mother was white? They wanted me to do that for the script, okay? So when I watch Narcos and shit, I know it's 50, 60, 40, 60.

I'm sorry. It's 40% correct and 60% made up for your imagination. Right. You know, I understand so. But when I first saw the first season of Narcos... Was that La Pablo? Yeah. I dove in to reading.

I didn't watch the other stupid shit on Netflix. There's 82 shows. Netflix should just be the Pablo station. Look at it. Look at it. Be honest, which I watched all 82. No, you didn't. Just horrible.

Recently, yeah. Horrible. You can tell I live a fucking boring life. No, man, but no, no, don't get into that shit. It's just the same fucking Puerto Ricans over and over. Yeah, it's hard to follow it too, man. Yeah, it's hard. You don't know.

The best two that I recommend is I love Narcos until the last season. He shifted over to the Godfather of Harlem and shit to bed completely. They just got a bunch of fucking people jumping up and down. The last season is God awful. God awful Because I'm telling you As a fucking fan You know what happens

It peters out man You know what I mean After a while I mean it's redundant The writers get deals somewhere else Yeah So now it's me You and him

We wrote it Yeah We wrote the first nine episodes With Pablo And we got fucking nine more In the can They're gonna sign us up All of a sudden

You got a weird bug up your ass I want to be on You know One of those fucking Lifetime shows Really Really We just fucking wrote

something tremendous they're going to double my pay and I got three kids in college, Joey. But that goes to the original Jackson 5. Now we bring in two other guys. They don't know what the fuck. They just came from a fucking soap opera. We're here trying to write about people

getting mugged and gangsters, you know. Lee, it's going to be all right. You want to Alka Salsa. I do. It's good. I got a little sniffle. I'm good. So I read about it.

I really read about it. And the other show I really like is Hota Hota. Have you ever seen that show? Was it cool? Hota, holta. No. But I saw, you know, what's a good one?

If you're talking about drugs, because, you know, what I'm here for, the drugs, but the Grizzelda was pretty good. Yeah, Griselda Blanca. You know what, that's, actually, DEA locked her up at the end. Wasn't that the guy from Miami? But that was also tremendous bullshit. First of all, the show was going to be real. You got to get somebody, like, look like me to play Griselda.

Well, you know what? That woman was ugly as dog shit. No, no shit, bro. You're right. I mean, in real life... That was terrible. I mean, I love that girl. I love her. Don't get me wrong.

I love all her work. But that fucked up nose, she looked like a pink panther when he played the fucking Italian guy. He's right, though, man, because honestly... No, come on. In real life, she was a door, but... No.

Nobody did her. You did her with a blindfold done, dog. You're crazy. But she had strength, man. She was legit. I mean, be honest with you, they really were scared of her. She ran a fucking great organization.

I mean, I wasn't around for those cases because DEA again did that. I know they picked her up at the end, but they were looking at her, she was doing shit in the Bronx, but she was legit, man. She made a lot of money. I mean, that's what, like you said, when the Times were roaring in the 80s,

with Miami, that's when everything came back with Miami Vice, the go fast boats. You know what I mean? They were sending shit in planes and just dropping them in the water. I mean, you know, there was so much money to be made. I've never, there's only two changes that I ever saw that

were dramatic. Mm-hmm. Before I get into it, here with you. Yeah, I'm gonna grab a little. There was two changes. You came from Woodridge. Woodbridge, yeah, dude.

Woodbridge, yeah, bridge. So you saw changes when you were in high school. And especially if you went outside of Woodridge. We were raised in this fucking neighborhood. Right. With your wife. So we saw, and all I remember is this, we were spending $4 a night.

We would do a hit of acid, split a hit of ass and get a six, from Nix or whatever. Not Nix, that's a pizza joint. The liquor store in the corner or something like that. And then, okay, everybody got cooler. We started eating Kualoos. Now your night went from $4 to $4.

And you drank two drinks if somebody served you. And you were good to go. Then out of nowhere, people started going, come here, come in the bathroom, try this Coke. And you're like, I'm over here, Joan Marys on Birdie. line amla. What am I? This ain't no disc attack.

And you started, and all of a sudden, everybody was cool. Everybody was doing a package between four people. Nobody was Odean, nobody was jumping up and down. At 2 o'clock people were like, good night, good night, there was no drama. I leave for Colorado. I come back. Oh, my fucking God.

People went from going home at 2 to going home the next day. Yeah. Like people started going on on Friday nights and not going home to Sunday afternoon at five. Just in time for mom's meatballs. Like nothing happened.

What's up, Mom? Where you been? Oh, I got to tell you what happened. I went to a car and said, what happened to your head? It was always something. And then it just went for people going out on Mondays and staying out until Thursday

and all those Tunnelie Avenue hotels. My friends would rent four fucking rooms. From one side to the other, the end was the jacuzzi room, and they were just going there. for money. I was like, the growth of this shit.

When I left here, you had to really look for cocaine. You had to go into the city. You had to know a cousin in Union City, something. When I came back, just on 82nd Street, there was three Coke dealers now.

What we had to do is walk on Smith Avenue and say, did I tell you, I got some Coke? If you could move it for me, you're like, dog, he went to Catholic school. I knew you as a kid. You never even had a beer. Now you're dealing Coke.

so the explosion Oh yeah I mean you know It's a money game all of it It all cyclical Look how long I mean Coker's making a comeback

You know what I mean And crack Never went away Yeah no I know They never went away What fucking comeback Everybody come on All these kids

With the fentanyl And the heroin And stuff like that I mean that's been big And that's why we're losing You know All these kids Really the fentanyl

You know Which You know It's a shame Because some of these kids Might try it One time And it's just unlucky

And you know you get a couple of little pieces of fentanyl on you, and, you know, if it's the bad type, you're going to die. And we changed all our rules, too, with the fentanyl once I left and stuff. We had a whole new lab area where if you did think that you got something related to it, you would have to have special gloves on. It'd be a special room, you know, with all kinds of special filtration systems in there. So the game has changed, but it's horrible how, you know, these young kids today in their 20s,

you know, even older people, you know, are still doing this stuff. And it's sad. It really, it's truly sad because life is precious. Myron, it's never fucking changed since 1980. Yeah. This has been a revolving door. I'm very fortunate to still be here. Yeah.

I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. It was just somebody, it was who I was for a long time. but listen when we were growing up people were dying to you know they were fucking going into the city whatever and now I wouldn't try anything out in the street

no dog when I left California you could already tell there was an issue in a marijuana dispensary where when you ate this guy's cookies you didn't get high you saw fucking Pluto and for me to see Pluto there's got to be something in that cookie

I like to... I need one of them cookies now. No, no. I ate one of those cookies on a flight to Pittsburgh. My leg wouldn't stop twitching. I was sweating profusiously, and my leg was... It was horrible. Anyway, fuck that edible.

And what I'm saying is... What I'm saying to you is that they're putting edible out of that in Mexico. Because you could... God bless New Jersey. A lot of people are going to hate me for this. Because I came here and I was withdrawn on Zanix. And I thought I was going to walk into a doctor and go, hey, let me get a script.

You guys like. No, they don't prescribe that shit. We don't give you that shit at all here. And then I had the knee surgery. And it was tough to get pain pills. Like, tough. Like, come on. I just had to.

Well, we don't know. We got to contact the doctor. And he's got to contact CBS. And CBS has to call DC and see if you're on the list. And you're like, what the fuck? And then somebody told me that next time get surgery. and go to Staten Island, because they just go nuts out there. They don't give you 28 pills.

They give you 90s still. We had a group that actually just dealt with that. It was called our diversion group. So if you get a script, that third copy, I believe it's pink. You know, that goes to the DEA, and they can tell by, like, and we, not that I did, I wasn't in this group, but, you know, the pharmacists, the doctors, they were locking them up left and right because, and the pharmacists, they were getting like $500,000 dollars cash out of their fucking apartments

because that's how lucrative the business was with like you said, whether it be oxies, whether it be Xanax or Deloaded, you know, all these things. So it's a big business. I saw some documentaries that like people who got addicted to the pills would switch to heroin

because it was cheaper. Which is crazy to me. No, it is cheaper. It is. That heroin is cheaper than a pill. Of course. Remember when we did heroin? I don't know if we did heroin. When did we do heroin? No way. I got the date. I got the date. I got the episodes. I can't see him doing hell. No, I didn't. I didn't want to even think. But

just his little marijuana joint, man. Let me ask you this, because I just moved to New York in September. And I had one guy asked me if I wanted party supplies, but other than that, that's it? Well, like paper plates and fucking, who knows? But like, how much, on a daily basis, how much shit is going on in, like, plain sight in New York? I mean, it doesn't even have to be New York.

It's all over. I mean, like you said, I mean, even with the marijuana, the dispensaries, I mean, I got places in town where I live. You go in there and get what you want. The other stuff, I mean, I'd be honest with you. I haven't been in a big city since I've been retired. I hate to say that. I have no interest in going back to New York, man. And again, that's just me because, to be honest with you, man, I had enough of it.

You know, I'm living in a small town now and, you know, by the beach somewhere. and it gets boring, but some of these big cities and the people around them, whether they're doing drugs or something out, they're fucking nuts. People are nuts today. You know what I mean? Because you got to remember, there's different cultures out there, they're coming from different countries.

You see what's going on. I mean, actually, a guy I work with who's now in the head of the DEA, and I'll mention his name, Derek Maltz, he's on TV all the time, and he's out there in Colorado sending all these guys back to Venezuela and doing all these cases and stuff, you know,

But, I mean, I'll be honest, those are some dangerous people. I mean, you know, we could laugh in here and be like, you know, but they'll do whatever, you know. They'll do whatever these people because they don't give a fuck, you know. How we get to the fucking Venezuelans? I don't know. I don't know how we got there. No, because what they're doing is they had that one gang from Venezuela now that was causing, you know, they want to start shipping these guys out, obviously. You know, we got a new guy in there, Trump.

saying, hey, you know, you got to be legal to be here. And they're going after the people that are causing, you know, havoc, that are dealing drugs, that have records and stuff. And they're easy to find, you know what I mean? Because they let you know where they're at. They're that dumb, you know. But it's crazy how the Pablo Escobar stuff was good to me. Yeah.

Like, I enjoy it as entertainment. The one that really got to me was when the Mexicans started selling the weed. And in the middle, they go, fuck you let's put some cocaine I know that's right I know what you're talking about and I want him read up on the people and you know I was blown the fuck away with the money they were making

and they got into and they made a big mistake when they killed the rest of peace yeah our guy yeah yeah Kiki Kamerana Kiki Kamerana that's a matter of fact recently he was just in the news you know right two weeks ago so what it ended up happening was they got one of his tortures and again the name escapes me

Miguel, yeah, Miguel. Yeah, and when they bought them to arraiments, you know, they put Kiki Camerini's cuffs on them, which, you know, I mean, you know, okay, you know what I mean? You know, it's sad that we lost the agent. It was a while ago, but they got them, you know what I mean? And that was a great thing. And it, you know, at least gives the people, you know,

from DEA anyway to say, hey, listen, we got you guys. And Kiki's cuffs are on you, and now you're going to do your time, probably rot in jail, you know, which is a good thing. But Mexico is a whole other story, man. You know, like Mexico, you know, like, they kicked us out of the country for like a year or so because, I mean, it's so crooked.

You know, even like when I used to back in the day go to Cancun, Alcapulco, I did a lot of fucked up things when I went on vacation, you know what I mean? I mean, Johnny's over here too. I mean, he remembers a couple stories we did. But I tell you, man, you go out there. I remember I went to this place they said, I was all fucked up, you know, drinking beers all night. I was with a guy by name of Pete.

Make a long story short, I go, I want to go to like a go-go joint, you know. I was sick of seeing all these young kids, whatever. I was only 24. And I'd get in the taxi, and they go, Chili Willys, you know what I mean? And I go, yeah, let's go to fucking Chili Willies, you know. I get into a taxi, me and Pete, I'm bombed, man, and I'm drinking beer in the taxi, and I'm whipping beer bottles out of the fucking taxi. That was stupid, you know?

We ended up getting the Chili Willis. I go to the front door, and there's two fucking big Mexican guys, but they were carrying machine guns and they had the fucking bandolier, you know, the bullets all over here. I looked at Pete, you know, I kind of sobered up a little bit and I'm like, hey, you want to go in here?

Fuck it, we're here. We go in. It was the nastiest fucking bar. They had girls up there. They were nasty than that girl, you were, grizzilda, you know what I mean? Grazilda facing shit. And I remember, I had to take a shit so bad

because I was drinking that Mexican beer. I went in the bathroom and there was no fucking, there was no like, doors or anything, you know, just a fucking, like, I don't know something you shit in. I don't even know what you're called. I fucking, like, just, like,

lowered my ass over the bowl. You know what I mean? I let it explode because like, I don't even think there was toilet paper there. I don't know what the fuck I did. But I know when I got out of that fucking bathroom, I says, P, he goes, what? It's time to fucking go. You know what I mean? And I look back at that day, and I say to myself, man,

that was stupid. Because normally what the cops would do, they see younger kids and whatnot. And it happened to some of my family members. They'll pull you over and they'll want, like, what's the average in your pocket? Three, four, five hundred dollars, you know. Getting back to it,

they don't make no money there. You know that. And that's why they don't make any money. They don't make no money. That's why they were all crooked, you know, even Dorn, you know, with Pablo.

He bought whatever he wanted to buy. He owned, he was the man. He owned everything. You saw, you saw the movie. That's legit. No, but I read up on that shit.

No, but some of the shit they showed in the movie was a little like, I'll even say, like with the DEA guys, they weren't doing all that shit. Right. You know what I mean? You know what I mean?

I mean, you know, but they were there and they did it. They did a very good job. I forget what the bottom line was. Yeah. The bottom line was just unbelievable. Yeah. It was an amount that you could not even fatten coming into your home every fucking week. And the more money he made, the more he paid out.

He took care. He did what the fuck he wanted to. I remember I was reading some. Sub-Mond line about him one night that I was just blown the fuck away. Just the thing that he built his own prison. Oh, that's, that's it. And that happened, man. That happened. That's legit. I had,

I was just starting comedy in 91. And I remember it would come up on the news that they're building the prison for this fucking guy. And I remember, like, even writing a joke, I didn't even know what the fucking guy was. I wrote, like, some stupid joke, a bomb. Yeah. Like, he opened up a hotel.

Yeah. And it was just, it was funny because Boulder where I was, the County Jail was voted the number two county jail in the country. It was clean, sanitized. They gave you cigarettes. They had cable TV. Wasn't like Chili Willys, man. No.

It was not like Chili Wills. I still remember that. But I'm going to tell you just in perspective, I'm a fucking nut, okay? And when you had an addiction to a nut, it's never good. And I'm going to be honest with you, motherfuckers, and you can hear believe me or not. I worked El Paso as a comic. the first night they came to me and they said, we're going to Mexico,

you're coming, I was a little apprehensive, and I went in the daytime. And that was enough for me. Yeah. And then I worked San Diego one time, and I went to that side of Mexico, and that was okay for about an hour at night.

And I'm like, it's time to go. And I like crazy shit. I'm all in. I'm all in for yells in the night and people screaming, but that was just a little, two out there for Uncle Joey. And I just came home.

And then I went back down there with my wife. When we were dating, a bunch of people going to go down to Mexico. We got lost, dog. It was the worst. It cost me like $2,000 to get out of there and fucking nickels because that's all I had. Every Mexican had nickels. I was giving out nickels like, fucking, I swear to God, I just had an ashtray and the center thing. And it was all like nickels and dimes because they don't work on the fucking,

things in that way. The kids would shake you down too. Yeah, the kids shake you down. You come out and they go chickily, chickens it. And they start going like this you're trying to get your fucking wallet. So you got it, honestly, you got a guy going to like, steroids.

And I'm like, even whatever you want it to farm. I'm like, even if I buy this, I'm going to get it over. That's my biggest thing. I'm not a fucking smuggler. I've never been a smuggler. I don't mind.

You give me an ounce of weed. I'll take it to Jersey. That's for me. I'd rather get caught than have to be out in the street and some fucking stupid weed store let them, well, the turbines go fuck yourself. It's 22% it smells like my dog shit. Get the fuck out of here.

I'm sorry. That's all right, Ben does. But anyway. Yeah, so you're talking about Mexico, you're talking about Pablo, right? I'm talking more about Mexico, how they did it, how they, you know, went to the Colombians

and said, we're going to be your transport. Yeah. They pretty much locked them out. it was you know it was fucking brilliant like when you look at these guys it's a shame they became criminals

well because they were in I mean they were in the right business to make the money but sooner later they were going to get caught if they spent that energy on a fucking legit business you know even to keep it to weed you know what I mean it wouldn't have been a problem but getting back to Mexico again I was a senior partner to and I'm going to bring up another name

because you know he deserves it Pete Gudewitz he's the one that indicted El Chapo so he I was his senior partner. So if you see when he comes off the plane, you'll see two DEA guys. The taller one with the glasses is Pete. And he worked hard on that case. And that was a rough case because a lot of people had him indicted, but they always bring these people to the, to the big house. The big house would be to New York. So they gave the, they, they arranged them in New York. You know what I mean? So, but that was another guy, you know what I mean, El Chapo. And there was like a fucking magician.

Yeah. Was he not? He was getting out of prisons with a suit on and shit. Like, what happened to Chopin? We know, sorry. Yeah, they were building tunnels, and he was the tunnel guy. Build the tunnels. But I did see some read something.

This motherfucker was buying up land. Yeah. And digging tunnels underneath from the U.S. side to the Mexico side. Well, he thought about that. That was unbelievable. All this shit is like, you know, you're like, all right, I'll eat a bunch of pellets and shove the rest up my ass. Meanwhile, this guy's buying a house from the other house, and it's like they dug

underneath where they put roller skates on it with a fucking thing that you push. Ataluelo, and they push it. And it gets to the other side, and that's it. You know, who thinks? It was simplicity. How the fuck could you even think about a tunnel and the way they built it, even to get them out without, I mean, the thing about is they were making a lot of noise for the prison, so they were all paid off. I mean, you can't tell me that they ain't hearing like fucking people. blowing, you know, or even, you know, picking shit out, I mean, you know, so, yeah, but, you know, getting back to what you're saying, like, to have the Mexicans with the Colombians, I mean, back in the day when I first came on in the 80s and stuff, it was the Colombians, you know,

especially, well, in New York, you know what I mean, that's where I was doing my stuff, but the Mexicans are a lot more powerful in regards to, I got to say, they got bigger connois, they got bigger balls, you know what I mean? So if you fucked up with, with the Mexicans, honestly, they, they were really, they were really, they tortured people. Like, you know, they were ruthless, you know what I mean? You had some Colombians like that,

but a lot of times the Colombians would be little, you know, no disrespect, little motherfuckers, you know what I mean? And they come, they got their business suits on. You know what we used to do to the Colombians back in the day? When I first came on, we would go to Queens, right? And they would have all pay phones. And we would know what pay phones they used

because they had so much fucking money from Pablo and stuff, you know what I mean? And we would know they would be carrying a suitcase. So we would just randomly go up there, Take their fucking suitcase, and what's in that suitcase? Two, three million dollars? And you know what? Once you took it for them, they just fucking ran.

We let them go. You know what I mean? We just take the money, and again, it goes into, you know, a big kitty for the Department of Justice and stuff. I never did anything fucked up. Like, you know, there are guys that did do that, but, you know what I mean? And they got, a lot of them got caught. But, you know, there was a lot of money. And the problem with drugs is, what do I do with this money?

Where does it go? because me, you guys like us and shit, I don't know what people make here or whatever, but you got a couple of dollars, you feel good about yourself. Imagine having enough money to fill up fucking three in these fucking places here. What are you going to do with it?

What do you do with the money? You don't even know where to put it. That's why, I mean, even now, they have the Chinese laundering their money. And what the Chinese do, and you can see it is they've been buying up a lot of real estate. You know what I mean? And it's crazy because think about us going to China

and getting real estate and buying a house or something, something, it ain't happening. You ain't coming to China, but yet, politically here, we let everybody come here, unvetted. They come in, and they're buying places with this illegal money and... They're grown weed, brother. Yeah. They're buying farm. Yeah, they buy, well, yeah, they grow by military... And growing fucking weed. Like, they got a down to science. Yeah. And nobody gives a fuck, so I'm not smoking weed no more, so you know me, I'm good. I'm not smoking that commie weed. I like Chinese people. I'm cool, but... I like the lunch specials, man.

You know, it's really like that dude that they just brought back. He was one of the leaders. That's the dude that was in charge. And it's so weird looking back at it. And this was 30 years ago. This is like, you look at this shit, you go, wow, I kind of remember this.

Like, I remember the bust in Stockton. That big bust in Stockton. I kind of remember that. Yeah. Amigo and somebody's getting backhanded right now. Yeah. That's a lot of fucking Coke in that warehouse. Oh, yeah.

I mean, you got to think about it like this, though. And I'll tell you, you got to remember all these products, whether it be heroin, coke, marijuana, they're all plants. So we had groups back in the day back in the 80s. We called them Operation Snowcap. In fact, we lost some guys come out of a helicopter and whatnot. And they're plants. So what happens when you fucking exterminate them, they just grow more. You know what I mean?

So it's like you really can never stop it. Because you remember, they're plants, right? I mean, you know, you just got to find a location and, you know, whether it be Coke, right, Coke or paste, and, you know, however way they make it and the heroin. I mean, it's all kind of heroin, but you're always going to, it's always going to be there. Like you said, like you were thinking about, you were saying about it's going on, you know, it went on back then too. Yeah, it did because they're plants. They're always going to be available. And you're going to always make money.

You're always going to make money on them, right? You're going to. Because we have a society that really wants this stuff. Like, even alcohol, you know what I mean? I know I'm getting off tangent here a little bit, but it's the same thing. People get addicted. There's addictions, you know,

and sometimes it's hard to break, you know? You know, I remember Lee asked a question before, and I'm going to answer it. Lee, one of the main reasons I left this area was because how far are you from New York City right now? 10, 15 minutes? I was 15 minutes away from any drug I wanted to buy. at whatever time you wanted to buy it.

If you want something at three in the morning, you'll find it in New York City. You'll have to walk a few blocks. You might get mugged. You know, but you'll find it. That's crazy. And that's the scary thing to me. In those days, from keep going over there,

you bump into more and more people. Who are you going to bump into in New York City at 3 30 in the morning? You're going to bump into a stockbroker or a fucking army recruiter. You're bumping into people trying to fucking scam people. And now you're talking to people like,

hey dog, if you ever need a 45 or any guns I got you, I'm 19 years old and you're asking me if I want to buy a fucking gun. Now that sits in the back of your mind. If I ever get into a beef, I'll be over in the bridge getting a gun for a buck in a quarter,

whatever the fuck it is. That's how accessible that city was. I can't imagine what it is today. I got to guarantee that there's not as many spots as there were when I was growing up, but there's got to be something happened in Washington Heights. Oh, yeah. And there's got to be something happening in the Bronx and all the other things. It's not as visible, but the scary thing is downtown.

Because downtown, I know a guy named Tony, that's what he tells me his name is. He tells me to send me his driver's license as long. long as his, that's his address. From now on, I'm your delivery guy. Call me 24 hours a day, something will be there and a half hour. I will send you a menu every day. You will not look at the prices. You're already paying $4,000 a month for rent. You're already going debt anyway. You might as well pay the prices. He's going to have an eight ball of Coke for you there. In one hour, the best shit you ever bought. That's the business. That's what I assume. That's what I assume. That's what I'm assuming

that there's got to be an app now. I ain't that fucking, you know, I'm an old man but I'm just thinking about some Chinese kids in the city that loves to jump up and down with the lights and all that stuff. He's got an app. Somewhere that you buzzed, this guy

gets buzzed here, and every day the code changes. That's how slick these kids are today. Don't tell me it. The kids are so slick. Slicked. But even it still goes on in the heights. I remember when we've first started doing the Heights and, you know, it was just easy. We had a lot of informants there.

Make a long story short, man. They had the kids working on the corners with walkie-talkie. So as soon as you came on the fucking block, they know you're 5-0. You know, they know you're whatever. So what we used to do is get like maybe a Spanish guy. I'd be in the back of a van. He'd parked the fucking van. The van might say like painting or plumber or whatever.

And I'd sit in the back of the van. Like, they wouldn't think anyone's in there. So then you could take pictures and see what's what. But the kids, even at the ages of 11, 10, you know what I mean? And the stash houses. I mean, we had special guys that used to, basically know how to infiltrate any kind of special trap they might have because it was like really fucked up, you know, really crazy traps that these guys think of.

I mean, unbelievable, you know what I mean? I was there the summer of 93 when there were kids on the roof and a cop was walking, a uniform cop, and they dropped a bucket of the spackle on them. Oh, yeah, yeah. I'll never forget that, and I remember it was tight. But it's interesting. In 1993, I used to go to a place. I mean, it was like stealing.

You just had to get over the bridge. And you made a left, and you went right in that place, and you double parked your car. Cops would even go right past you. Yeah. Beep, beep. And you parked. Somebody went into the building.

You rang the bell, 503. Come on up. You went on up there. and there was a guy sitting there with a gun and a bag of blow. Two bags of blow. One was for 25 a gram and one was for 35 a gram. He gave you a taste of it and you had to make your choice. If you busted them, that's all they had on them was two ounces, maybe a little less at that point.

They're going to be out in an hour with these guys. They already had it down to a science. Now I see these weed stores that open up in L.A., and they put their whole inventory on the wall. When the fed show up, they lose everything. I'm like, those Colombians had a point. They only showed you what you needed to see. Right, right.

You need that? Give me 10 minutes. And they make a call, and it's around the corner, hidden in somebody's fucking Corvette, or whatever the fuck it is. Oh, it's difficult, even for us it was, in regards to trying to find, you know, where the stuff is. First off, everyone's a bullshitter.

I mean, like, I got the money, I got the money. Nobody had the fucking money. You want to see the dope first, you know what I mean? Whether it be Coke, heroin, or whatever. And that's the games we would play. I mean, sometimes we would play. flash him. I actually was giving the guy $40,000. But sometimes we would have

flash rolls, but really, like, cops only flash money. You know what I always say. Like, for instance, a cop will show you money like to think he's legit. But the real fucking bad guys, if you're good, you get the shit on the arm. You know what I mean? Like, for instance, like, you know, if you got juice, I'm going to get, you're going to give me 10 kilos, you're going to

trust me, you know? So, I mean... Just like that. Well, yeah, because it's not a lot of people trust anybody. I mean, even today or back in the day, I mean, I'm talking 10 15, 20 years ago. We, you know, it was hard to do these cases. You really had to have good people that infiltrated these organizations,

whether it be the heights, whether it be the mob guys, whether it be the Mexicans. I mean, you had to have, like, serious guys that had connections, you know what I mean? You just can't go in there and, you know, do whatever the fuck you want to do.

No, it doesn't work like that. The people don't trust people, you know? But, you know, money does talk. You know, what's the old saying? Money talks, bullshit walks, man. You know, like I says, when I was giving them the 40 Gs and it went the first time, they were like, fuck, this guy ain't no cop.

And I did it two more times, three more times, right? He ain't no cop until the end when they, yeah, motherfuckers are a cop. You don't even figure it out so that you got the handcuffs on. And once they put you in that cell, not on the drive, but in that cell to wait for your arraignment or whatever the fuck you're waiting on, you just sit to like, God damn it, I never figured out that motherfucker. You start thinking about shit. Where are you fucked up?

But you were too high. You were too caught up in what you were doing. You got caught up and walking into the club. There's VIP. You just get caught up. Yeah. And you make dumb mistakes. I did it.

That's all that happens. Everybody does. I mean, even the best guys. I mean, like I says, in regards to what we locked up, people, you wait, you wait, you wait, you might. It's like a stock, you know, you're waiting on this fucker. You know, you buy whatever. You buy, I don't know, you know, Tesla and shit. You want to buy low sell.

You got to hold it. You got to wait. You got to have patience. And people fuck up. You know, when you're on wire, sometimes you might have to be on a wire three, four, five months before they make one fuck up. That one fuck up will put you on another line and then you're going, bro. And then you got a talker.

And then all of a sudden, boom, you're like, holy fuck. You're meeting with the attorneys. You know what I mean? You know, oh, we got this amount. We're going to lock up this. We're going to seize this. We're going to take that. You know, a lot.

The game is patience, too. but everybody makes mistakes so I mean in the end like he says people can go 15, 15, 20 years they got all the money in the world and then that one day comes and you're fucked you know it's like these guys now you're talking about I mean I know El Chapo

you know what I mean he's done you know what I mean his family's done I think his son tried to come into the business he's done now his wife you know it's new people come on the block just like that yeah I mean it's all done you're done you know what I mean you had your ride

and it's over Didn't El Chappo get caught because he, like, did an interview for a movie, like, about him? It was, like, something stupid. No, he got caught because, you know, there was so, there was, there was a movie like that, but that was a... Sean Penn. Yeah, I thought, yeah, I thought, but, like, that's a, whenever I watch a movie like that or hear about something like that. Yeah. To think about someone, like, building a case against you, and you have no idea for, like, months or years, and they're building a case, and you just are going about your life as normal?

They weren't even building a case. They already had them by the balls. Let me just find them. Well, just anybody. Just like any criminal. He was just finding that motherfucker. You know what it was? It was finding, but the other thing, too, is, like, do they want to give them up?

Do they want to extradite them? That's the whole game. You know, when we were playing, you know, when we were trying to play nice with the Mexican government and stuff like that, you know, still give you some things, but then they won't give you everything. Like I said, it all goes back to money. Life always goes back to money. You know what I mean? And that's what it is. These guys are making so much money off these guys.

Even if you're a top politician in Mexico, you're, you're, you're a top politician in Mexico. This guy's giving you five, six billion. You're going to listen to some American DEA guy or some, you know what I mean? You know, I don't know, cabinet number? You know who Lisa Ann is never heard of it. No. No, no, sorry. Anybody at Lees Ayat, no?

No, no, no, no. Traje, Colombia. Bye. Yeah, they don't know nothing down there. That's why, listen. I don't have a passport. And there's times when I still live in LA, people go, I get you in. And I'm like, not in a million.

I ain't going in there undocumented. There's no fucking way. They do some nasty shit down there, yeah, it's cute, you get great burritos. I'm okay, I'm good. I just didn't trust it. There was something about Mexico. And, though, I was a Coke fiend and didn't trust it. There's no reason to go to Mexico and get Coke.

Snort it, they're going to rob you. And what are you going to bring it over that fucking bridge? Now you're going to do 55 years. Just to go, no, leave me alone. I can find it in San Diego. How frustrating it is it from like your point of like the agents, like the politics of it? Like someone gets away because of like a mistake or like, you know, like just the politics of it. Does it piss you guys off?

The politics plays a big part. It actually played a bigger part with the, and I have a lot of friends that are first grade detectives that are retired now. But the reason why they retired probably like when I retired is, you know, when you start locking up people. and for instance they got two guns on them and then the ADA's letting them out fucking like a week later. You know, that's what hurts. You know what I mean?

Because then, you know, like drugs is one thing and that kills people, but, you know, guns, I mean, come on, man, you know what I mean? And you see what happens when these kids or guys go back on the street. They're doing harm. And you know what? It frustrates you, you know what I mean?

Because you could take the fact that, you know, okay, I was going after this drug deal. I didn't get them. There's a lot of guys I didn't get, our group didn't get. But, you know, eventually somebody will get them, but a lot of times they weren't really hurting anybody. There's certain ethnicities, I hate to say, but, like, you know, that really will hurt you.

Like, the Mexicans will hurt you. You know what I mean? The Jamaicans will hurt you. You know what I mean? You know, Italian guys, that's business to them. You know, these guys like Sammy the Bull and, you know, I know he's out doing his shows now, and, you know, a lot of these guys, they were doing things to their own people. You know what I mean?

And, you know, you got to expect that in the game, the game of life, you know? If you're going to hurt somebody that's a drug dealer, they're going to hurt you back. You know, is it fair? I don't know. I guess it is. You know, but when you start hurting innocent people and kids and bullets start flying, that's when you've got to draw the line.

And, you know, like what happened with our agent, you know, Hatcher, you know, this guy, you know, he was out of control, right? And he ended up killing him over what? Because he was high and, you know, he just wanted to do what he wanted to do. I mean, Farachi. And again, me and my partner, Eric Stangby, We locked up the guys that Mario Gallo was one of them on that first case I did, and Jimmy Gallione. Now, these guys were the ones responsible for killing Gus Farachi.

They killed them because of this. And when we locked them up on the drug charges, we also had, we also superseded with the murder on Farachi. So they did their time. They're out. And I think who knows where they are now. But that's the only guy. I mean, I'll say Mario Gallo was one of the guys, and it's just a name you guys don't know them. When we locked all these motherfuckers up, he was the only guy that basically said to me, go fuck myself, he's not cooperating.

You know what I mean? And I shook his hand. And I said, like, wow, you know, all right, I'll leave you to fuck alone. You know what I mean? And he did his time. The other guys? No, they, right away. I mean, I was moving one guy.

And these guys are all over, you know, they're all in these podcasts and these YouTube shows that they got these guys hosting these shows and they're talking about mob-related things and whatnot. and I know it's sexy and people like that, but the reality of it is, man, you know, it's a dangerous game. And it's a shame that, like it says, when you're a young kid and you get involved in this shit and you're going to do 20, 25 years for what? You know what I mean?

I don't know. Jail is hooking horrible. I started as a correction, so it's horrible to be in jail. You know what I mean? It sucks, you know? Nothing like a man kicking your bed. Yeah. I'm telling you to get up.

Right? You don't know what that favorite. you know, let's go, motherfucker. Well, eat. They would kick the fucking bed until you get the fucked up and put the light on. And your first inch

to get this grabbing by the neck. Yeah. He's got to sit there and go, what the fuck was that? Yeah. So that was enough for me. But I got to ask you something. Listen,

I don't know why I would have ended up. I love smoking pot and then the 80s came along and I'm not going to blame the death on my mom. I have a mind and I can make my own decisions, but I saw what drugs did. I saw

people getting high and taking hits of mescal and drinking. They were fine. And then there were the idiots up, uh, there was always a patch in North Bergen that didn't heroin, whatever. But all of a sudden I saw this community just get

taken by cocaine. That's never mind West New York, Union City. That was a fucking that's where they were, they were cleaning it down there. It was just so. It's kind of weird how for fucking 50 years, right, 84, when was Reagan in? Early 80s, yeah, yeah. You know, his wife went on and we're going to fight the war on drugs.

Yeah. What the fuck has happened? It happens quick, man. You know, it gets out of control. Listen, again, it goes back to money. There's so much money to be made because there's a lot of people that are depressed out there. There's a lot of people that, you know, are just in a bad way. and, you know, for whatever reason, that might be a cup of tea, whether it's drinking, whether

it's this, and, you know, you're always going to find, it's never going to end. But you got to, somebody's got to be there, and I'll say, like, the DEA, NYPD, all other cops, someone's got to be there to make them know that there are repercussions, and there is a risk, you know? So, you always got, you know what I mean, you just can't let, like, a lot of people to legalize this, legalize that, nah, I understand the marijuana. I don't have a problem with that at all. I do at some stages. We'll talk about that some other time.

Lee, what were you going to say? No, I was actually going to ask about that, because there are some cities that have completely decriminalized it. That's it. It's either legal. Who's got the nerve to take a joint off here when you're in a fucking rental car and bring in? Unless you act like an asshole

or have alcohol in your breath, then anybody would bring in. But forget about the marijuana. Look at all the synthetic stuff they're bringing in. You got men. meth that's making a comeback. Mets has never gone. Yeah.

Like my buddies, or whatever. Yeah, I got you. In L.A. And he told me, he goes, during the pandemic, I sold a bunch of Coke. When the pandemic ended, it became meth.

Yeah. It was met by the fucking ton. I couldn't even get in on time. Because they're making met also in the Midwest with a lot of, like, things you can buy at the pharmacy. You know, it's like hillbilly shit.

You know what I mean? Actually, there's been so many times where they're cooking, they're cooking, and they're blowing themselves up. You know what I mean? All of a sudden someone opens the door and the whole meth lab explodes. I mean, you know, it's nuts.

It's nuts, man. It's just, you know, you sit here now 30 years, and listen, I was a consumer. You know, I remember when Nancy Reagan said that, I'm like, man, you better start snorting coke. Yeah. Because the war on drugs,

you better get as much as you can. Yeah. Because it's real cocksucker. It never ended. Yeah. And then, listen, I really love smoking marijuana. I can't do it anymore. God bless you, man.

I enjoyed it as a kid thinking back and just took away that piece of anxiety. Yeah. Just did something. Yeah. It made you feel, you turn the button a little bit on you. I didn't like drinking. I love that you're going to make a fall asleep at night. Yeah.

Did I think, I always start buying marijuana as getting your check on Friday. Yeah, getting a back. Stopping at the liquor store and then stop on that many, Blanco's house and getting an eighth for a 90 bucks. Would you say Benny Blanco? Yeah. From the Bronx? Yeah. And putting in your trunk. That was a good movie. And driving home

and fear. You might get pulled over. That was the whole thing. Now we walk into a store. Hi. How are you? Let me see your ID. Oh my God. Returning customer or first time? You know what? It's fucking funny you say that because I'm not going to get into names again. But for someone's 60th birthday

party. The first time I ever went in as a DEA guy, I went to a town down the shore, and it's a big place. And a long story short, again, I go down. I'm a little nervous. I mean, but it's like fucking legit. You can go in there. So no, what does Myron do? He pulls in the parking lot. I'm surveilling the place. It's just legit. Who's going in there? You know what I mean? Okay. I walk in there. It's like you're at best by. I go to the fucking counter. How are you? Where's your license? No problem. Now go through these other two doors. I go through these other two doors. Now I'm in a fucking assembly. It's like the DMV. You know what I mean? And I'm behind

a whole bunch of people. Then all of a sudden, guy goes like this. Over here, I go, okay. I go, I'm looking to buy some marijuana for a birthday present, you know what I mean? He goes, well, and I go, I don't know what the fuck you got. What do you think? I don't want to kill the guy and shit. He goes, well, I would try this. And I go,

you know, this is the first time I've done this. I says, you know, I used to be a fucking DEA guy. And we used said, DEA, DIA, he goes, DIA, you get 25% off. I go, holy shit. I said, nice, you know. But it was like, I'd be honest,

but it was fucking funny because, like, wow. You know what I mean? Who would have thought? And the guy was like, it was almost like, hey, park clothes, you know what I mean? Like Wally World, remember that fucking show? And it was like, the guy looked just like that. I was laughing.

I went home, told my wife, I said, I took care of him. I got 25% off. Yeah. Plantopia has a drive-in. You go online. order it and you go to the window and you don't have to get out of your fucking car.

Yeah, nice. Okay, and then you have to pay cash. That's the only thing they haven't. They don't have the ATM set up. Yeah, cash is king. At 7 a.m. for you fucking early birds. And for you insomnia acts, they close on 11 and then midnight or 1 on the weekends. Are you fucking kidding me? Holy shit. That's big business. That means 10.30, you got nothing to do.

All of a sudden, 11 o'clock, the Exorc is coming on. Fuck it. I'll take a run the shop, right, drive through the weed store, bap-a-da-pah-pah. Yeah, I still can't watch that show. That scares the shit. Which one? Yeah, that says one.

But meanwhile, you see a guy get hit and head with a golf club and there's blood on the fucking wood. Yeah, yeah, now that don't bother me, but I'm telling you what. That don't bother me. No, the exorcist's one that bothers me. As a kid, I remember. You consider writing a book. I know you're retired now

and you can't sleep and you won't go to yoga. That's the fucking problem. Do everything about writing a book? You need to start writing a book. Yeah, there's a thing. You're an interesting guy. Get yourself a little security job where you just watch a guy walk from point A to point B.

Yeah. Listen, you're on your own. They start shooting out or not. Well, I got to say one thing besides the DEA, you know what I mean? And I know Johnny, I bought a friend over here, Johnny, he could tell you stories, man. We had the best times in our lives. We always had shore houses. He still had them up until last year.

He just purchased the house. But, I mean, the shit we've seen and the shit we've done. did is, I mean, I could write a book about that. Never mind the fucking DEA. He could tell you stories about fucking vacations we went on that, I mean. What did you specialize in the DEA? Like, what division were you, I mean. I was, first, we were mob guys.

We worked a mob. You know, I did that for years. And then, you know, it was just in like a knock-around kind of group where we did whatever, which turned out to be some mob guys too. And then I ran at the end of my career, my last five years. I ran asset forfeiture. I had like 35 people under me, but like, for instance, when we do all these cases, long story short, if we take airplanes, we take your money, we take fucking everything,

we take horses, we take cars, I can go on, gold bars, coins, stocks, and they all come through me, through my group. And we were going to Brinks once a week, and I kid you not, in the five years I was doing that every week, it'd be at least $2 million in cash that we would have to take to the Brinks. and we'd have to have two or three guys go, you know, so nobody could, you know, you never know if somebody might get a tip on us and, you know, try to fucking steal the money, you know what I mean? So, I mean, so I ran acid forfeiture, which was a nice, it was a slowed down pace, but it got to be too crazy, you know, and I said, let me pull up the stakes because of the things I said with the way just law enforcement was going. And I've been there 30 years, over 30 years, so I think that was enough blood to give, you know what I mean? I mean, I could have done more, but, you know, I was tired.

Now I'm fucking tired, and I can't sleep. So I might have to take you up on one of these fucking slim gym things you got. You'll be off for two days, happy as a pig and shit. I tell you why, as long as somebody wakes me up every four hours to eat. You know what I'm? I got to fucking eat. Nah, we got one of those piss tubes that you take home. We'll just push you onto the mattress.

I like the piss tubes. Have you just asked Johnny before. I had to take a squirt before. He had a can back in the day when we were on surveillance, we couldn't get out and piss, so we were pissing, you know, like bottles. I didn't piss in front of your place here if there's any cameras, but I did across the street.

Right, dude? Myron, whenever you decide to write a book, let me know. All right. I hook you up with a girl that's really good. Oh, yeah? You got some good stories. Why fucking sit there like a babouche? Guys like you can't fucking retire.

You know what? I've been around you for three hours. I'm like, this motherfucker, what, retire? You still got a lot of life left to you. Yeah, I know. You're not ready to go to South Carolina. No. To sit there.

Although I do like Charleston, it was nice. Yeah. You know what? I like Hawaii, too. But that don't mean I'm flying there tomorrow to sit and look at a beach. I agree. I agree with you, man. We're not going to move to the beach

and arrest people. Yeah, I'm not dumb. I'm glad I got out of the house. You got me out of the house. I know my wife probably said, hey, get this fucking guy out of here. No, no, no, no. I was just sitting there one day.

And I go, I told Myron, I wanted to get a mom. and talk to them about whatever, and here we are. Yeah. I'm blowing smoke up your ass. You're an interesting fucking dude. I appreciate that. I know you had to keep some of the names and dates, you know, to protect the innocent.

Like I said, my memory has to be jarred a little bit. But, again, I thank you all, you know, for inviting me. You're a good group of guys here. And, you know, I tell you what, it brings back a lot of memories, you know? Yeah, good, good. I'm happy we got you out. Thank you. We'll give you an edible on the way out, and then Panada.

Good. You'll be tip, top fucking. caffeine in it, bro. Listen, no Spanish people. They know how to cook. Oh, absolutely. You just pass the fuck out. They put Xanax or something.

Mexican, the Cubans put something in there. Yeah. You fall asleep eating the empanadas. And, uh, fucking, right, the Valiums. No, no, they put something in their fucking food to Cubans. One minute you're home eating empanana. The next minute you wake up before. And Telemundo's on.

You know what I'm saying? People fucking going back and forth with Maracas. You're like, what happened? I just, I just wanted to give one little shout out. I mean, I was talking about a lot of these cases, and when we first started bringing the cases to Eastern District, the mob cases, it was a EOSA over there by name of Jim Walden. And Jim Walden's running for mayor now from New York as an independent. And, you know, he's a very good guy, very knowledgeable. And I wish him well.

And I just wanted to throw his name out there. You know, he's got his stuff together. And it might be a good change to get away from what New York normally elects. You know what I mean? I don't want to get into politics. This show is all felons, so forget it. Oh, okay. This is not a good vote for you.

You can't vote when you're in jail. Listen, all these are felons. Cover your ears. Do you have anybody else calling in over here? You got any other guys, mob guys? Did they call in? Yeah. I don't like people calling in.

Oh, okay. Just random people. Yeah. They're fucking crazy. Yeah. They'll sit there on the phones and, you know, the next thing you know, they're banging on your window. I've been on the phone for an hour.

And you're like, no. They're probably going to have some of his. empanadas if they find out how good they are and shit. Listen, man, we saw... This is my world right now. We saw the Godfather. We saw Goodfellas. And then at the end of the day,

no matter what the fuck you tell me, we saw a TRI series that swept America off their feet. You know what Miami? What Miami? I'm talking about the fucking sopranos. Oh, the soprano. I thought you were going back to Miami. I'm sorry, brother. For an example,

Miami Vice is Miami Vice. But it's like I tell people. In 97, I did a show, and I had to send a resume. And the agent called me immediately, and she's like, I got to talk to him. Like, what? She goes, you've got to take North Bergen, New Jersey off your resume. She goes,

I don't really want people to see that. Really? Always go to New York City. I go, I go, right, put New York City down. You'll get me a roll. this is when Springsteen was out, you know, all these animals are out. The Sopranos came out. It was completely different to put New Jersey on your resume. Oh, yeah, man.

I loved that show. I mean, I never missed an episode. That was amazing. And I'm at the point in my life right now, at least I am, that I think I've seen the best of it. When people approach me from mafia scripts now, if I see Gino or Vinny, the second page goes back. I'm not interested. Yeah. I don't blame you. I'm not interested.

It's not interesting no more. Give me the mob 2025. You got three black dudes now. You got a Dominican. 80 years are in jail. The other ones are fat and old. Nobody gives the fuck. Nobody's kicking up to these guys. They're 80. You're done. If you can't shoot nobody, you ain't good to me. Get the fuck out. I mean, give me something like that. That's real. Yeah. So I just can't. What were we talking about? These edibles are kicking in.

No, you're talking about the sopranos and how... The sopranos was so good. What's gonna, what's gonna match that now? Nothing. What story are you gonna come at me? As a matter of fact, your boy just became councilman in the town next to him. I know who he is.

John, yeah. He just, you saw all the news. He's all over the news. He was legit, too. I mean, he was a bad, you know. You know who he was with, right? Yeah, I go to the weed store. People are like, do you know, John?

He wants to meet. I don't know, fucking John. I don't know no, John. He's like the mayor of Englandstown now. That's the best weed store in town, the fucking... Well, that's... How could you believe that? And I look so.

I love John. And I believe John. Yeah. But I tell you what? There's 22 guys now running their mouths. Yeah. And 11 of them turned evidence. I mean...

And I'm a big fan of Sammy. Yeah, and I've seen some of his things. And listen, no disrespect towards anybody. They did their thing, but they're doing their thing now. They still want to be there. They still want to talk about it. They love it. It's like, you know what I mean?

It's in them. I stopped by Sammy on Instagram every other day. Yeah. And he's talking to you. Like, it's 1984. So I talk to Paul. And I told Paul and you're like, do you think these kids even have an idea?

What the fuck you're talking about? No. Try to sell anything Gotti now. You're not going to sell a ticket. People don't want to hear that shit. no more. God, he's been beat up to death. If not, just throwing mobsters every Sunday. It's the same

episodes since 1998. In fact, when Sammy, let me just cut you up, Sammy, you know, he went back after he got out and DEA, and I know about this because I know the people that were involved with that, you know what happened to him when he went out, when he's in the program, right?

He went to Arizona and he got his kid, you know, his kid involved with a lot of things, and they got locked up again with that ecstasy thing, which I never even hit on, because I worked a lot of the Russian guys, and that was fucking unbelievable stories with the Russian guys and the ecstasy. But, yeah, and another little thing, you know, perhaps if you have me on another time, maybe you don't want to hear my shit anymore. But because I get very dry in the mouth right now. Bring the fucking water.

No, I got it. I've been doing it, man. But I've been thinking about that, taking that edible, and that's even drying me out more. But getting back to, you know, we were working a guy on mob wives. We locked up. But my group, I was a supervisor there, but we had locked up Renee Gratiano. Right. You know, and the big person in that is Hector Pagan.

I mean, I don't know if you look him up. Yeah, but he was actually, he was with us when he was on the show if you catch my drift. You understand? And but he did his own, then he come out. And I think Gratiana, Anthony, he testified against her father, who was a big weed guy over in Brooklyn. So that was very, very interesting. That's crazy. Yeah.

And you could see his shit. A couple of YouTubers did a nice little thing on him, you know what I mean, that I saw recently. It was pretty interesting because I didn't realize all the shit he did. You know, he was actually pretty well liked, and he was with, like, big guys. Who, T.G. Graziano. No, I'm talking about Hector. Hector. You know.

He was good friends with Joe Massimino, who was, you know, very big. and, you know, but, you know, they all get caught. He ran it at the end. Well, that's what I'm saying. And he was fucking brilliant at the end. Because he came out, he said, fuck these hangouts.

I don't want you hanging out no more. Everybody's got to get a job. Everybody. Everybody's got to get off the corner. No more fucking jumpsuits. No more gold chains. I have the silver. He's a guy over there.

There's a Sergio Taki Chia. That's what he's all about. We'll fucking. We're fucking hiding. You know what I'm saying? And he shut it down for a while. But you always. going to make big fucking mistakes with cash.

The accountants came in, the FBI forensic accountants came in. You just might as well get the fucking noose ready. When them motherfuckers come, those are the people that kill Jesus. When they show up, you know, four of those motherfuckers show up. You might as well just go, put the cups on it. Don't even bother.

Don't even bother. I'll tell you on the way there. You know what I'm saying? Because it's over. They're all nerds with glasses. They don't know nothing. They don't want to know pussy. You know when they got a fucking calculator in their fucking hand brother and the number two pencil in their ear.

Trust me. When they come, dog, geeseo, geeseo, they come with the chemistry set. It's over. It's over, guys. So once the forensic accountants come, just call your mother, tell us, and my, it's over. You got to get back the jewelry I gave you three years ago because they're coming to get that any minute now. You're right, brother. Man, it's a real pleasure to have you on.

Well, thank you for having me. I want to have you on again. No problem. Sure, there's more stories and stuff. Maybe by that time I'll have like a book written or something, you know. I would love it. I'm telling you. I mean, I got a lot of things in my mind, but I got to get them somewhere before the mind goes.

You know what I mean? You got to run it through an attorney. You got to say to the DA for clearance, and that's a hand job. Yeah. I don't know if I, oh, I don't know if I got to do that anymore. Because I'm retired. I don't know. I don't know how that works.

So they don't call you back in and bust your balls. Yeah. But it's pretty interesting. This is the most interesting thing I'm going to tell you, they won't get the fuck out of you. Yeah. Foco was on the podcast. Before we, before the pandemic,

Wolf, what's his name? The Wolf of Wall Street. Oh, shit. Jordan Belford. Oh, the Wolf of Wall Street. That was the, Jordan Belford. The movie.

Yeah, I understand. I know what it was. Benicia Dutoro. Well, he was on the show. The real wolf came on the show. We were talking about shit. And also he goes, I don't know if you know how I wrote my story.

And I go, why? He goes, Chang was my jailmate. My cellmate. Okay. And the federal, he told me, I was telling them stories about the stock market. Yeah, because all the mob guys were, that's what they were doing.

Yeah, that's what they were doing. But what they were doing, you know what they do. They push certain stocks. And these guys don't even have licenses, and then they close it down, and they short it, you know. And that was, we were looking into a lot of those guys, too.

But, I mean, yeah. He talked them into writing a fucking book. Yeah. And it became a fucking movie. Yeah. That's my point there. Yeah, it was a good movie. You're sitting there.

write a fucking movie. Yeah. Just to give you a heads up, he is going to take 10 points just as the manager. Five, five, just five? He's family. Yeah, he can have more than that.

Man, I don't give him a fuck. He's family, dog. Come on. How can you always charge me 10? Because there's reasons. I got to hold your hand. You're going to call me at night. And I make the right move.

I mean, you know, I need that in my life. Two in the morning. Lee, what's up? I can't sleep. This manager's got me going crazy. I'm over here, you know, dreaming about. dreaming about fucking hanging out with the DEA and all of a sudden. Yeah, but it was nice coming.

You're a great guy. All you guys are good guys. You bought some great fucking impanadas. You got a funny fucking laugh. You got to work on that head cold, man. Try and you take some Vicks. My mother used to put some Vicks by my nose. Come back in 10 minutes.

He'll be healed because he got sick once I came back with the Mac Daddy of Magdadi's. He started getting sick last Wednesday when he saw the box. He started getting twitches and shit. he knew that Lent He knew that Lent was here What are these things here? What is it? It's like nicotine?

Nicotine pouches. They're coming 3, 6, 9, 12. Forget about it. What, do I got to put a couple quarters in there? No, no, no, I'll hook you up on the way up. No, I'm good, man. You put it under your chin, forget it. You'll be fucking...

No, I can't do that. You'll be doing 90 on the parkway. Hey! You got your old badge? I just put it there with a disco light now. I do have it. They don't know nothing. Just put the badge up with a disco light.

That's it. knows nothing. Nobody will even stop you. That's the fucking funny thing. Johnny, you got anything to say, brother? Oh, God. Don't get them started. Don't get them started. We got to get the fuck out of here.

A lot of the goat bar, but holy fuck, don't tell that stuff. No, we'll get the fuck out of here. Next time, we'll talk about the go bar. Now it's 10 to 8. I'm already hungry, you know what I'm saying? I'm already thinking about shit. We out. We out like fucking whatever. Lee, where are you at this weekend? March 29th Broadway Comedy Club, 5.5. 30 p.m.

Look at them. Don't forget to be there. Austin, Moon Tower is officially sold out, but you got May 18th at the Parks motherfucking casino. Yeah? Right?

Or August... May. May. We're working on May here and come out, and that's it, and that's that. I'll keep your post to Lee. That's all you got?

I got Josh Wolfe at Stanford Comedy Club in two weeks. Make something up, brother. What are you going to Stanford? Stanford, New York Comedy Club in two weeks. Oh, Stanford, New York. Okay. Stanford, Connecticut. I think you're going to the old stand for the guy had the wig.

That's a complete other story. I love your savages. See you next week. Have a great weekend. Get ready for April. What's happening, beautiful people? Uncle Joey here. It's March the 25th.

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