The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - I was evil, but I didn't have a cat with a cape

Episode Date: March 12, 2024

Joey Diaz tells Lee why he used to say horrible things to himself every morning, why he doesn't like to smoke with people anymore, testing the weatherman, Lee tells Joey about his life changing trip to Paisley Park and much more! Try Blue Chew for free at https://www.bluechew.com with promo code JOEY Support the show and get 20% off and free shipping at https://www.manscaped.com with the code JOEY The Mind Of Joey Diaz is on PATREON: http://bit.ly/TheMindOfJoeyDiaz

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And now back to the show, you filthy animals. Turn out your TVs, run for your lives. It's over. They didn't put you on this planet. just to give up. If Uncle Joey could do it, I can rule the world. That's what you've got to be thinking. Welcome back to church!

What up there, Boris? Hey, buddy. Am I allowed to say that? Am I allowed to say buddy at all? I can't say buddy ever again? No, it's okay. It's just when you work it nasally, you know? Do you think I want this voice?

I fucking can't. That was like the thing that I would never listen to recordings. Do you think I like my voice? I don't like my voice either, so don't worry. I don't like nothing that I do. I don't like my voice. fucking hair. I don't like my face. I don't like my voice. I don't

like nothing. I'm just the moat. I just walk around and accept things at this point in the fucking game. You know, the worst thing I could do ever is watch World News Tonight. Why? Because sometimes, like, I'm watching something, like I watch the weather on

ABC, and then I'll leave and I'll come back and World News Tonight is on. And it just fucking depresses the shit out of me. Like, I got addicted to that shit during the pandemic. and it fucking broke me from like March to to fucking

you know till like a year later it broke me I'd stop watching it like when it came out in LA at 3.30 I would be home to watch it already during the pandemic. Isn't that the one was that Diane Sawyer? Yeah but Diane Sawyer was gone during the pandemic

she was an incubator somewhere on an island somebody rubbing her feet with Martha Stewart and shit you know but yeah, it's just fucking crazy. And did you watch it tonight? Yeah, it walked by and it was on it. And it was, you know, like they were talking about the election, you know,

you know, who gives a fuck. They were talking about that Biden gave Netanyahu the red light. You know, he had crossed the red line when he bombed somebody. Listen, man, you know, everybody's got their opinion. And if you weren't there on November 6th, and whatever the fuck it happened, November, October 6th, October 7th, you know, I couldn't even imagine being at a fucking festival and seeing little Arabs coming down on a bicycle,

on air bicycle, like that guy in fucking the road warrior, he had that little bicycle. He used to follow Mel Gibson around. I see that shit. I'm traumatized. I don't even know what to expect. Never mind landing and, you know, the whole fucking deal. So I don't want to talk about what's going on in the world,

but it's just, you know, I can't watch when the world, I can't watch no fucking news. I just sit there and fucking go, what the fuck are they talking about? Scaring white people. Was that like a thing you miss about doing stand-up every night? Because I can't tell you when I've been home to watch the news. What, scaring white people?

No. Well, I'm sure you do like scaring white people, but I thought you meant like just like, say you literally weren't home to watch the news. No, I was always, you know, The news comes on at 6.30. Where am I going? Unless I'm doing an early coffee shop

before the fucking poetry night starts at 7. I got nowhere to go at 6.30. Everything we did started at 7, 7.15. I'd always meet you at 7 at the fucking podcast. Because I'd watch the news. At one point, I was like, you know, what the fuck? Dog, I didn't watch the news for 30 fucking years. Right.

The last time I watched the news was when I did 228 balls. They bombed Oklahoma City. And I sat there for four days, biting my fingers, snort and coke, looking out a window, drinking fat tire. Thinking when this was going to be over, they were hunting. You know, I don't watch the news. Right. Every once in a while, like you have it on, you're in a hotel, you're sitting waiting for a ride, and CNN's on. And you watch it, and you're like, oh, I didn't know that happened.

That's how deep I am in this fucking marriage. I'm surprised do you even watch it I don't like I can't I never I avoid it now you get older you get older and I don't know at one point you're like let's see what's going on

the fucking world I've been living in a comedy club for 20 years you know and you just watch the news and you remember being a kid and watching it and sports and you know so when I came back here New Jersey's got a station New Jersey 12 Listen, sometimes I watch the beginning of it, but no, not really.

Sometimes it's like interesting New Jersey news. Sometimes it's, it is interesting because it's your backyard and you know where it's going on. I really like the weather on there. You know, I check the weather, they're okay at night, 10 to 11 or something. I'll put it on before I go to bed. That's when you know when you get old. When you check the weather before you go to fucking bed, that's when I started checking the weather at And I'm like, I'm done.

I'm done as a fucking savage because savages don't give a fuck about the weather. Well, there's that. But then I don't like, I think that's what it's like an age thing. It's like my mom loves the news, watches it and she's like, oh, I got to know the weather. What? You have your phone. It tells you, like, you don't have to wait for the news. I don't want to look at the phone.

The phone's always, listen, they're all fucking wrong about the weather. But when somebody tells me to my face, I feel a little bit more comfortable. I've sat at that softball field with my wife. I don't go on. I don't even know how to check the weather in my phone. And you'll see, I don't know how to check the weather and you'll see clouds, right?

And all of a sudden you're like, check the weather. See, and she's like, it says it's already raining in Marlboro, New Jersey, three inches. I'm like, we've been sitting here for two fucking hours. Nothing's come out of this guy, not even a dead bird. And you're going to fucking tell me that these people are on the money. I don't want to talk to these people.

Listen, the news, not the news, but the weather is an educated guess. They put all that data. It's like us collecting. It's like us fucking going to make a bet, or you're getting a job, or you get an audition, you go on IMDB, and you research the role, your research who the director is, what else has he worked on? It's the same thing with the weather. Nobody could sit there and go, mm-hmm, it's going to rain tomorrow.

Last week, they were on the money. They said it was going to start raining in Jersey. at one o'clock. Damn fucking to the tea. I went out there at one o'clock and, you know, I test them from time to time. You got to check the weather man, especially if he gives you a time. Like, you know, if he gives me a time and I see it, he's trustworthy. Do you ever, like, email them and tell them when they got it wrong? No. Why would I do that? I don't know. He said, test it. Today's today. Listen, you picked the wrong fucking weather cycle yesterday. Today, do a little better. And today they were very good.

They said it was going to be cold in the morning. They said it would get a little warm in the afternoon, but the wind was going to be really bad. Fucking wind was blowing shit up all afternoon. And... Oh, jeez, there's a four-partner. It ain't a fucking party until somebody farts. You know what I'm saying?

Oof, it's got some whiff to it. Smells like fucking energy drinks. But I didn't drink any other drinks. I don't know what that is. Diabetes. What is that? It doesn't smell sweet. I know, not that you have diabetes.

Jesus Christ. No, no, no. There's no diabetes in the air. I didn't eat no crumpkins. I'm just trying to put the pieces together, gee, money. How was Minneapolis? I heard you had a nice time. You went to the Prince Museum.

Yeah, dude, that was one of the best places I've ever been. I want to talk to you about a lot of stuff, but that was, The shows were great. Thank you to everyone who came out on all the other comics. It was fantastic. But, like, the highlight of the trip was Paisley Park. It was, like, people who know I went to Niagara Falls, and I thought it was, like, the stupidest,

it was not worth the drive at all. Paisley Park is worth a trip to Minneapolis, I think. I was so impressed. It was, you never got to go? Nah, what the fuck, you know? I've been to where he taped everything. I went to that club. We were staying up the corner and we went over there when Day Chappelle was there.

This is years ago, though, but I never went to Paisley Park. It was just because I had no expectations. Like, you know, you and Dean, you would have Dean on, and we'd have Rudy on the church all the time and very interesting talks about music, but music was just never a huge part of my life. So I knew a prince, but then you go, and it was like a two-hour-long tour. they took you through like a few different studios and it was just

I don't know I as a as someone who performs it was just interesting to see all that he did like he learned the art of recording first and then he learned he did every not on every album but he could do every instrument he did all his vocals and then he would they'd mix it together he did 39 studio albums 39 like and it was just to see like like the precision that he had like he reminded me in ways of like you just how like you we you talk you're talking to me a lot now about like making specific moves for a reason and like just the thought

put behind it and that was like like just to see the thought he put behind everything that he did like even designing studios he would design him in a certain way so like had no echo and then he would like he they his last tour Yamaha sent him this purple piano and he sent he made Yamaha take it back three times because the color purple was wrong and like it just

he had just it was just so cool to see like it was just his vision it was just really cool you know Lee to be a great entertainer you have to get entertained and for some people it's live music for some people, it's poetry, Jet, whatever, as an artist, as what you are and what we, I mean,

I've never considered myself an artist, but, you know, that's what these people say we are, so I'll take the ride with it, right? And it's really weird when you go see something and it blows your wig off. Yeah. To me, that's the best feeling in the world. There's two things I miss about California. We discussed the potato tacos were fucking money at that place with the blueberry milkshake with a little bit of honey in it.

Fucking money. And to me there was no better feeling in the old days than getting stoned on a Tuesday after my set or before my set and sitting in the back of the comedy store.

Right. That to me was the biggest learning experience that I saw comics branch out, you know, and I appreciated it. But let's get to music. You know, fucking I always like music. And then I got into stand-up, right? And then, you know, you go on the road, you buy music to entertain you. Then YouTube came along.

I think I was doing comedy about 18 years. 17 years and YouTube came along I went on a search to learn how to headline I really wanted to see how to headline so for a year I went down to Irvine and I watched every headliner on Thursday night and you know I just made a commitment to it

and I learned a lot in that period because I dove into the educational part again but the biggest experience I learned was watching the singers on YouTube live or just like listening to Live videos, live videos. And my favorite guy really to watch was the singer from Leonard Skinner.

Is that Robert Plant? No, no, no. That's Led Zeppelin. Sorry. And Robert Plant is a strong second. And Mick Jagger's a third. And Rod Stewart is up there. And then you got to look at something like Michael Jackson that took it all away.

out there. My journey went as deep as little Richard to look at all the singers and their body language and how they control you and how they mesmerize you. Like the choreography of like just them? No, no, no, no. No choreography.

Okay. Them. The singers from the 70s and 80s, look at their movement patterns. Look at their, they didn't move too much. The guy from Leonard Skinner was chubby. Ozzy, Ozzy, Oz. one was chubby with sabbath you know look at what they did then you got a guy like banscott

who weighed 100 pounds of a rock in his pocket and the control he had rod stewart another motherfucker that you know they all have something to offer you because they're doing the same thing we're doing without a band behind us they're keeping our attention okay they're keeping your attention mc jagger keeps your attention boy When you go see him and you look at Mick Jagger, and then he starts wiggling, and you go, that motherfucker's 80 years old. My grandfather is 65.

He can't climb the fucking stairs. And look at this guy. He's a professional. At this level of Mick Jagger, 40 years of singing, maybe 50 years, they know all the tricks. And that was what I was thinking when I was there because I had the opportunity to see Prince.

When I first moved to L.A., he was doing a residency in L.A. I don't know if you remember that around like 2010, 2011. And I just, I don't remember if it sold out or if I just didn't go because I didn't really know much about him. And I regret it. I regret not being able to see him. So now it's like, I know a lot of people give like the older musician shit for still touring. For someone who's never seen them, like, it's kind of cool.

Like I hope I get the opportunity to see some of these people, even though it might not be what it was 30, 40 years ago. But if they're selling on the arena or they're selling out of things, Dieter. They still had Jay Giles and the Jay Giles band used to move fucking like a Mick Jagger. And you watch them and some of them, but they're hypnotizing you in their own little way. They're locking you in. Sinatra.

Early Sinatra, watch that motherfucker control you. I even watched a couple of Cuban dudes, Benny Murray. I studied fucking singers. body language, timing, when they, in between songs, they talk that gibberish shit, but they still got you, you know.

And then as a band, I don't know why, and I'm not saying this on ego or anything like this. I'm just saying that I admired everything they did and how they did it. And that was Led Zeppelin. They did it very hands-on,

but hands-on. off. And at the end, they skipped a thing, but they were going to get triple the amount later. What do you mean hands off and hands on? It was more of a psychological. Led Zeppelin was, the manager was very hands-on, very smart, every move was planned out, every tour, you know, he even took it as far as getting paid in advance for Led Zeppelin performances. What you want to charge at your business. You're paying me before we get there.

And he made them, it's the way he did business, he tricked people into being bigger than what they were. And that's why they became one of the biggest bands in the world of all time. He didn't let them do television appearances. You know, he didn't let them just do a lot of things that other bands did. He didn't see the value in that, Peter. grant. So he kept his distance. And if you think about it, it's a good way of doing comedy, the business he had, because it's sort of Chappellelli. Chappelle doesn't have a website. Sheppelin. Data and he sells out. That's it. You don't know. You don't have a chance to discuss it. So how are we going to get there on the 17th? I don't know. There's no chance to that.

And that was a little bit Led Zeppelin. I have so much confidence in my game. I'm not even going to do a fucking website. I'm going to do it differently. I'm not even going to do a podcast. Well, like, if you think about it, especially like with Led Zeppelin, like before the internet, before all that, like if you didn't do interviews, like,

they never saw you. Like it was like it. And then do interviews. And they didn't do interviews. And like they were saying like Prince, for example, refused to do tour for, not tour like press for, uh, the movie purple rain, but it was like it still blew up. So it's interesting.

see like that that might have made like since they didn't have them when anything came out they're like oh my god we got to see what they did you know i still remember that whole prince thing i was 21 years old and that was the year of music summer of 84 prince jackson springsteen madonna hewie lewis in the news rod stewart the pretenders everybody was on the road and Prince was blowing up, and I'll never forget, I was living in my apartment, the one I, I didn't pay rent that for like 65 days. And I was about to get thrown out, and I remember that. I go, what am I going to do in this apartment on a July night? So I had to listen to see if the landlord was upstairs, and I hadn't paid rent.

I know it was July 4th weekend, 1984. All my friends were down to shore. I got a job in Sea Caucus, and they wanted me to work Saturdays. Sundays during the summer. And I'm like, this ain't going to work. But I worked that Saturday. And I got home that night. There was humid as fuck.

And I had the fan. And I'm like, I got to get the fuck out of here. I smoked a number and I ended up walking the sea caucus to Harmon cold theaters. Like, fucking, I don't know how long of a walk it was. I had done it before. And I went out there and fucking watched Purple Rain. And then when the movie ended, I walked back and had to sneak in through my shower window, you know, and land in the tub headfirst, and that's my adventure with

Purple Rain. I really liked it. I had seen his videos before on MTV, 1999, and Little Red Corvette and all that shit. And right now, like, maybe three weeks later, at this time, it was like the end of July, and I would live downtown, but I owed money, so I couldn't be in my apartment and I saw about four I would sneak out before the landlord got home from work and I would walk up town to my friend Loobs's house and I would lift with him from like five to like six 30 and one night we're in there smoking dope playing with his dog lifting weights and shit and all sudden on the radio on like KTU it said uh prince is making uh doing a Secret Sheldon, I know, whatever they called it.

Pop up for a surprise. I remember me and him just put fucking, like, water under armpits. I put monkey grease in my hair. It was humid and hot. And we shot over there. It was $15. Jesus. It was Sheila E. and Nucleus.

Sheila E was the drummer, right? Yeah, she played the warm-up song, which was the, you know, the dangerous life, whatever. And it was pretty fucking interesting. He blew me to fuck away. Like, I didn't, listen, I can lie to you and say I became a fan. And there was too much going on in my world for me to become a fan at that time. It was 1984.

And I was about to be homeless five months later. That was the beginning of my downfall. It was that July, August, and September. So, but I always remembered that. And I think when I moved here, I rediscovered Purple Wright. I watched it one night. I was like BET. And I started, I went in a fucking prince.

for like a month. There's one song on that album that's always, his performance is brilliant on it. I forget what the name of the song, not the obvious ones or it's, I forget, I got to look it up, but it's fucking amazing.

I want you. Oh, yeah. Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby. I want you. Woo. I'm deep in that hole right now because I don't know, I know like the big ones. when doves fly and like raspberry berets.

Yeah, look up, later on, look up Purple Rain. I want you Prince and you'll go, what the fuck? You know, so it's pretty interesting. I'm happy you did it because you became a fan of the things he did. I became a fan of the things

and like just, it's interesting, like the word fan is interesting because it was a small tour. There was like maybe like 10 people. And at first I was, I smoked a little bit, so I was just a little too high for it. But there was like two couples in particular, like one, like the whitest couple you could ever imagine. But like, at first I wanted to make fun of like laugh at them in my head because like they were crying at certain points.

And like the guy started giving like a eulogy to Prince at the beginning, which I did make me laugh. No, no, no, not the tour host. Just another another guest. like we were in like an atrium and they were trying really hard to keep it together but he was like I think Prince is watching over us right now Were they Gentiles?

Yeah well they were But I turned on them Like in a positive way Like about half the way through Like it seemed like they like They were on like an anniversary Like it was just so important to them Because the anniversary trip

Like she was dancing and every time They were playing music But it was just like the impact that he had whether or not they were being a little bit overboard. Like, it's just cool to see, like, that's, like, what a real fan is. Like, it was just cool to see, like, people loved him that much. And just from his music. It's pretty fucking amazing, man.

It's pretty fucking amazing how, I don't know, you just get to like different bands growing up. And, you know, we had no window to the world. I didn't have the internet. Right. I couldn't hear a song and look it up and see where they wrote. it, you know, I didn't have that. It was all the back of the album cover,

a magazine, a Rolling Stone, you know, the information on these bands now, like this morning I played the Ormond Brothers, you know, and I love that shit, especially on a Monday morning. Makes me want to stab a motherfucker, especially live from the Beacon Theater and all that shit. Oh, I was going to ask, okay. Those shows are great, you know, and it's just,

crazy how it it makes me fucking go like when I tell people they think I'm kidding you I'm not kidding you that type of music makes me go off you know somebody sent me a personal Facebook the other thing they're like you know we really dig you but why do you have to hit so hard in the morning you know music well music and the shit I say you know motherfuckers get up whatever and I really had to think about it I thought about it I didn't answer him back yet but I had to think about it like three days ago. And it was because that was how rough I was on myself. I'm not that rough on myself no more. But when I was rough on myself five, six years ago, you saw it in those tweets in the

morning. That was me being me to me. That's me beating up on me. That's not the world beating up on you yet. That's you, getting you fired up to get the fuck out of that house and stab three motherfuckers. You know, you know how many, I got home at six in the morning with no money and I forced myself out at eight I'll bump into somebody borrow five get a fucking ham and egg sandwich in me and I'll be

tip top magoo ready to fucking steal you know I was born on the I was raised on the early bird gets the worm you know it's really crazy I was talking to a dear friend of mine today and he was telling me about that his son's in a band

and that some of the guys didn't want to go on a tour, you know, and it lets you know how much the game has changed anymore. Why would they not want to go on tour? Like some of the people were apprehensive about going, you know, and it's crazy how people are scared of experimenting anymore, especially our youth. They didn't have, our youth had a little bit more creativity from the bottom up. Everything we saw got created by, you know.

Now it's, you watch Saturday Live, it's a black guy with a fucking, with a turntable, and he's out there rapping, lip syncing. You know, it's great, but I don't see the work process, you know. Somebody today makes a song, they go on TikTok, they get a little fucking action, and then they lay down. They lay down. I'm not selling tickets. What do you think this is? A one-shot deal.

You got to get up every day and fucking, you know, have that. outlook of if I don't accomplish this, I'm a fucking failure. And I know you're not a failure. And you know you're not a failure. But in your mind and the fucking, the urgency you're lighting up under your ass is you're leaving the house not feeling too good about yourself because you know you got to do this because nobody's going to do it for you anyway. Why do you feel bad?

I thought you'd feel pumped up. Well, I think you felt fucking half a fag and a ton of. You know, you're a piece of shit For not having a bank account, you know Now you got to get up and steal you Little Wormy immigrant orphan You know, I would say Shit to myself that would

Kill other people Yeah, I thought you were saying like get up Grab your balls. I didn't realize you were saying like Terrible things. Some mornings I would say You know, stop being a fucking pussy You know, because you need that And Listen, parents were a lot different

you know you come to me as my son and go i don't know i'm gonna look look here's the deal you either go out there i'm gonna break your fucking head and throw you out the window but not not even that it's like a thing of like guys they're not gonna just give it to you well like even just like this story of your mom having you fight that kid after like you came home and he beat you up yeah that i don't think would be allowed today no no but that's That's not what you're talking about. I'm talking about like how when a parent reads you the riot and says, listen, man, this is what needs to be done.

I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck what you need to do. From now when I'm leaving here at 8, and you're leaving with me. And I'm locked in the fucking house. So I'll see you back here at 6, motherfucker. Until then, I don't want to see you in the fucking name, but I got security.

You know, and this is the urgency. see. I'm not saying I'm right. But I started going to open mics. I started talking to different comics. And it's so weird how you have been a gem. You have really been a gem. Thank you, buddy. Because some people, they just go off the deep end.

And, you know, I spoke to an agent about a month ago. And he was telling me about some of his clients. And he goes, this is getting, you know, everybody, like, listen, when I started, when things started picking up for me, it was MySpace. Remember that? With MySpace and stuff. And then it went to Facebook or whatever the fuck. Then Twitter, then Instagram, whatever, right? I knew that once I got 100 people a showing, that was great for a guy like me.

Yeah. That was great, but guess what? I got to do a little better. So I got to get that up to 50, 150 a show. How am I going to do that by doing more fucking social media and making believe I'm something or not? Or by writing comedy and then supporting it with the strength of a good social media. You know, like fucking going after it.

And that's what I did. And then when I got the 150th show and I was selling whatever the fuck that is for the weekend, you know, $750-ish a weekend, I got to get it to $1,000 because that's when they started paying your bonuses. For a thousand people for like a five-show weekend or something like that? You know, so I was like, I got to get that to $1,000. And it was a leap.

I grew with it. I didn't go from going America's Got Talent and go from doing 11 people at the Brea Improv to fucking, you know, 2,000 people at the theater, 4,000 people. It just didn't happen like that, but I'm fucking happy. Because I grew with it and I was prepared for the growth. What happens if you go tomorrow? You go on America's Got Talent.

They come to Boston. They see it. They want you to go on there. You win first place. I'm going to do a fucking tour like, what's his name? Are you going to feel fucking really good about a headlining tour with 50 minutes? No. I, like, was the, on the other side of it, though?

it would be it would be very it's very it sounds very appealing like it's everything that I want and it's hard to like not go after it like to try to get there quicker especially when you see so many people doing it like there is a desire I know that like I was talking about it with the guys who did the show with me

this weekend and and the girl all of them were great but we were talking about like because people have asked me why I don't headline clubs which by the way like I'm not I know I'm not ready for. And I would say no to that, but it's just, I, I'm just starting to get comfortable. Like I was thinking about when you're talking about selling 100 tickets,

like that's a lot of, I know all these clubs and they're selling out arenas now, 100 people to come for, like, for you is a lot of people. That's a great accomplishment. But why stop there? Sebastian won't stop there. Neither would Bert, neither would Joe Coy, neither would have these arena guys.

You know, it all started with 100. And let me look at a person could do whatever they want in this comedy career. But I've always said one thing. No matter what comic, we can interview 100 comics, and they'll all tell you when they stuck their foot in their mouth maybe once, maybe twice, maybe five times. And sometimes they made comebacks,

and sometimes they didn't come back from that. A lot of people got a lot of chances in this business. You get an hour, you know, you get a chance to do a fucking, an hour. I know for me, I want to be prepared to do an hour. And I didn't feel I was prepared to do an hour until the 15th year. And even then. And this is, you know, working with Rogan and learning 15 years is 2006. 2006, I wasn't a good comic at all.

brother. The funny was there, but I wasn't a good comic at all. And let's face it, I was not a fucking headliner. That's why I did what I did 2009 and 10. I was going to quit comedy,

but not really. I was just watching. The way I was doing it wasn't working. And was it, like, was a difference from, like, you headlining a bar show and headlining a club? Like, like, It's two different fucking words.

The thing I like about bar shows, the thing that always helped me was I always did them opposite the comedy store, the improv and the laugh factory. That was where the real growth was because I was going to a bar and just fucking hand-to-hand combat. And now you go to a civilized room

and now that gives you more control. You have more control. You know how to carous. them in a little bit. You told me something the other day about a festival with 19,000 people. You stay away from that. That's a disaster for a guy like you. Trust me. Okay. When you go out there without a drummer with nothing and there's 12,000 stoners and they're looking at you and you go out there, that's going to be the roughest night of your life. And it ain't worth it. It's never worth it. Okay. The stoner, the stoner, the stoner,

The owner era reifer is a very short street. You'll see that pretty soon. It was very popular in L.A. Years before you got there. When you got there, was anybody doing comedy at Stoner Rumors anymore? I knew one open, Mike. That's it, yeah. That was L.A.

When I was doing it, we were getting 100, 150, and an eighth a week. Fuck. There was no money in it, and it's just stone. talking nonsense. You know, it really is. I'm not putting them down, but it's the truth. Do you know fucking the weed guy? Yeah, yeah, I know the weed guy.

You know, that shit ain't funny at all. 20 minutes of, I got so stone last night. Yeah, enough. But, and you'll see it. But 19,000 fucking stoners by yourself? No, I don't think so. I don't think so I think you'll run back to that fucking plane

and shoot the fuck home that's think you ever see Walking Dead A little bit yeah That's the Walking Dead those things Stink and fucking Pichugi juice and fucking You know It's too much

It's too fucking much I tried a couple of those You saw how I got away from those Quick first of all I wouldn't do an outside one because there's nowhere to hide. There's nowhere to hide. What do you mean?

Where are you going to hide? Dog, it's fucking evil dead. Where are you going to hide? At least in the club, I'll go in that bathroom and lock the fucking door. I don't get it. Yeah, I've done it before. I'll lock that fucking bathroom door.

You ain't getting any. I need my time. I need my face. I'm surrounded by bad odors and chick with long hair and a bunch of fucking. retards walking around, giving each other fucking the flu. 200 people smoking out of the same

bong. You might as well eat a hook his asshole. You're playing for the best. You know what I'm saying? Holy shit. I can see that. People. You know, look to the bong in. The 11 of them coughing. I just had the flu. Really? Good.

I don't want it. You don't really smoke with people anymore. I haven't in years. That's the reason why. Listen, when I was a kid and I smoked, I always got sick with people. Those little circle jerks behind the high school, two days later, I'm at the doctor's office with a fucking blister on my tonsil because one of those guys didn't brush their teeth or they didn't do nothing.

And listen, I get it. I smoke with you. I smoke with people. I smoke with three people right now. You, George, and my buddy Kenny Chan. You ain't touching my bong if I don't know you, you filthy motherfucking. You know what? It's yours.

We just went through a fucking, you know, a thing where lives were changing. People were going to die. And now you want to come over here. I just had the flu two weeks ago. Get the fuck out of it. That means you just had it. And they don't tell you until after they coughed the first time. And they have to spit a big brown luga.

And then you're sitting there. I had plans this week. I had plans. I spoke with fucking Abraham over here with sandals on. And now my plans are ruined. because I'm going to be sick off. Sure enough, you get sick three days later, and he goes home. I spoke to Joey and Lee.

Get the fuck out of here. Go get a job. Have you ever kicked someone off of your bong? Like I saw, have you been smoking with someone, and they got sick? And you're like, stop. Yeah, I cuddled. You saw in that office. Now they would be attacked that bong.

I had substitute bongs. I had backup bongs. It was just you and me to the wheels fall off. We knew each other's chromosomes. You know what I'm saying? Jesus. some third wheel in here that just came in. And dog, I learned from Ralphie got rest of salt.

That's where all that came from. Because I used to see him go to town to town and smoke. And he got so fucking sick. Remember when he was lungs, he couldn't even fucking fly no more. Can't do that shit. You know, it's, you know, I got people I smoke with. And then there's people I wouldn't touch a fucker. During COVID, I went to a friend of mine's house for 30 years.

That motherfucker whipped out a joint. I said, you better whip out another one. You better roll another one. He's like, what are you talking? I ain't smoking that shit with you. It's fucking COVID out. I never heard it said that way. Yeah, I try not to either.

It is weird with comedy, though, because that's one thing that you taught me. And then I try to do it if I'm in a place that has weed is like bring weed when I'm going to a place for the first time. Bring weed and you give them out. That don't mean I'm smoking it with you. That's why I'm giving you a joint. Here, go for a walk.

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, show calling the tree. People do get really happy when you give them weed. I've never had anyone listen, I'd rather give you weed and see you smile and take a stupid fucking picture or smoke a joint with you.

It drives me crazy all that shit. But I love to, you know, I see people, I like to make that, I got four or five people. I just drop weed on them off. A couple girls, I just drop it off. I know they're young. They're my girls, and I don't want them buying shit with fentanyl. And I know they don't make that much money.

Right. And when somebody throws me weed, boom. It's the best. When someone gives you weed. We're back to normal. We're back to making somebody's day. So like it up in the morning. I got to joint my car or something like that.

Somebody, hey, how are you doing? Come in for a second, dog. Here you go. And they're like, really? Yeah, take it. Is this laughing gas? Yeah. Even though I'm not working on laughing gas anymore.

I have no laughing gas left at all. Oh, you're out. but any of it. I've been going to a place, Lee. Listen, for you fucking econ majors and all you fucking, in other words, cheap fucking people, okay? Because enough is enough, especially in New Jersey.

New Jersey has grown around this sub-weed culture and the weed that I was bringing, like people refuse to buy that strain. And I know it's a budget thing. But let me tell you, let me put it in perspective. to you motherfuckers. When I was homeless,

I was still smoking the best weed that Harlem had to offer. And I made sure of that, because it all goes, when it comes to the head, you've got to take care of the fucking head. If you don't take care of the head, it ain't going to take care of you.

So when I smoke weed, it's like anything else. It's got to be fucking up there. You know, it's got to be fucking up there. So when people go to me, I got this good weed, and I smoke at 27%. 27% ain't even going to give me a toothache no more.

I'm in the 30 to 30 fucking something range. And I went to a couple places in Jersey, and everybody had what was supposed to be good weed, but something was missing. I started going to New Jersey Leaf. Okay. I got a weed called Rhythm, a label called Rhythm. I bought four fucking different things or four of them.

Were mind-boggling. And that 30% just straight flower? 36% the one I got, the sunset, whatever. Fucking, I got another one, Choco Brown. Don't you kill a mule. I gave my cat a bung. That motherfucker slept for four days. You know, it's sensational.

I don't need to do anything. I got my little delivery service, you know, but they don't switch. You know, they have my weed, but it does switch a lot because people don't buy it. They have fucking tremendous weed, my delivery service. They got three weeds I'll put up against anybody right now, run it. But I've already smoked it four times over. They don't move it as fast. Because you're the only one buying the super strong stuff?

Me and a couple other fucking professionals. Listen, I won't go out to dinner for a week if I can have my weed. I'd rather have my weed than an expensive fucking dinner. That's more my budget than anything. I sacrifice stuff for weed, and I have been for the last 40 fucking years. I rather have 10 bucks and have three joints, and I know I could go for a walk and get an order of Setschuan beef,

you know, or white rice. That was my world, a smoking pot and eating Chinese food. When I moved, Colorado and I was 21, 20, I was getting sensational weed up there. There was mountain weed. But I want to take care, Uncle Joey. You know, I didn't get, I didn't have new sneakers. I looked at out underwear for years so I could smoke weed.

I didn't wear underwear. Was that for the weed or the Coke? Both. They both. You got to save on everything. What? I know that I don't know if you can answer. That was on the road.

Why would you buy soap? You wash everything with shampoo. Your balls, your asshole, your feet. You know, I would just cut certain items like that. Always have deodorant. Always got conditioner. But I'm not going to buy. a bar of Irish soap for two bucks,

and then I'm gonna leave it in the fucking hotel room. I might as well just get shampoo with a rubber dub-dub. One of those luf of things. It takes the dead skin off, and your fucking tip-top magoo. You look better. But you're buying so many expensive things, and then you're like, no, I can't swing the $2 soap.

Well, what I'm trying to say to you is when you're a struggling comic. Right. Oh, yeah. And you got to pick and choose. When I was a struggling comic, I picked in shoes. you know, there was no a steak and a lobster. It was a steak in a glass of water

or a lobster tail in a glass of water. You know, it was never, it was like being in the movie Friday. You always got peanut butter but no jelly. Yeah. You always got hand, but no burger. You know, shit like that. So I didn't have a complete meal.

I can't, like, what I was going to say is there out of the three places you've lived, Colorado, I mean, I guess you could at Seattle, Did one place's weed stick out overall? No, if you think about it, that's why I went to those street places because I know the weed was going to be covered from Tip Top Magoo. Seattle got great weed.

Cal Boulder had great weed at the time. I don't know what's going on now. And then we got to LA and everybody had good weed. I always made that. I didn't stray away from wheat. Like I wasn't going to fucking, no. I love my reef, man. And that's why I love Colorado.

I was so much growing up there pretty much because, yeah, I was an evil motherfucker. But the weed controlled me from being eviler. You know what I'm saying? Like, I was evil, but I didn't have a cat in a cape. Like, if I was really evil right now, I'd have a cat in a cape, and I'm looking to fucking light the world on fire and steal rice from the Hamas and, you know, do all that crazy shit.

Thank God you had weed. That's right. That's crazy. When they drop the food off, Palestine, I would love to see like a Jew helicopter go underneath and scoop it up, 50% off and then take it to Turkey and drop it. I bet they had some divers out there for those ones that went deep in the water. Nah, that shit don't go deeper. Think about it. They drop it from like 2,000 feet. You got a little Jewish fleet that nobody sees, like smugglers and lands in that thing, and they go right to Turkey and sell it for half price. The Palestinians are looking up. Go, where is it?

Oh, my God. We won't be on YouTube again this week. Bro, they took us down. They took us down like we made a Diddy video. Oh, dear. Taking us down. Taking us down. Taking us down.

Who gives it. I love it. I love it. And it's nothing against any podcast. but you listen to a podcast now and they're bleeping stuff. Well, they're scared. Listen, if it means bleeping it to save an episode, I don't mind. But I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know what's going on anymore. That's why I mind my business. You know, I feel bad. I didn't go to Tripoli's last week at the Dojo on Friday night. I did go out last week and I'm going out this week. I'm planning on two sets this week. Nice.

I looked into some. some residencies for people who are nice uh i looked into philadelphia in atlantic city i'm waiting on something in atlantic philadelphia to see if it happens and then i'll lean more towards philly because i'm going to have to be there once a week so that's where i am right now brother besides that i'm auditions had a pretty good audition today for a movie called any meaning and I had one last week

and you know man it's a different fucking world than we were doing at L.A. But I've adjusted everybody's happy I'm happy.

I found a perfect fucking balance. I'm going to Austin a few weeks. Nice. I'll keep your motherfuckers posted you know,

do some comedy down there. I got a secret 420 show that will be announcing soon. I don't know where you are 420 Lee. No, or right now. All right. We might be coming with me. That'd be awesome. Figure out

what the fucking deal is. And that's it. I'm in a good place. My family is in a good place. Basketball season ended. They lost the championship game. And she lost the All-Star game. That's it. I wish I had more. You know, I wish I could tell you

I'm going on tour with this. I'm doing a movie with the guy that won the Oscar last night. You know, I got nothing. At least I'm honest. And I'm good. Happy, I'm full. You know, I got some sun today.

Look at me. You're looking good. That's right. But I was going to ask you, because, like, and if it, who knows if it'll work out with the residency, hopefully, whatever you're happy with one. But, like, I know you don't, you're not doing it only because you feel like, like there's a, do you ever feel like you need to? do stand-up like you like you like do you ever feel like oh like I want everyone who

wants to to have the opportunity to see me not like you owe oh is a weird word but like that's when people love you so much like it's like that's like I was wondering that like with like prints and everything first off right now it's like I tell people all the time they cram ideas into your head you cram your own ideas into your head and then guess what you end up doing nothing. You think about it so much that you end up doing nothing. I had a plan. You know that's just the first

second time I got on stage and a picture came up that I woke up in the mornings and my Facebook is full. My Twitter is full. I start getting text. Hey, I'm doing a room in Erie, Pennsylvania. It's you and a ukulele, you know. And I, listen,

people made me some pretty nice offers. And I was like, it's not what I'm doing right now. It's not what I'm doing right now. Right now, I just want to go out there and you said something that hit it. I don't know what I feel like in the mornings no more. I don't know. When I wake up on a Tuesday morning, I might tell you, yeah, tonight I'm going to go do stand-up. By 6 o'clock, I might have a headache, you know.

And I don't end up doing nothing. I know, I'll tell you like at 4 if I'm going out that night. I'll feel it in my balls. Like I'm like, tonight's and that I'm going to do stand-up. Unfortunately, that doesn't happen on Fridays and Saturdays. Right. That urge of being around that many people, no. But the creative juices, Lee, I love looking at my notebook.

Listen, you're never, a Marine never stops being a Marine. A doctor never stopped being a doctor. A hooker never starts being a hooker. And a comedian, old school, never stop being a comedian. It's like being an addict. Just because you quit doesn't mean your disease stops growing. It's growth. Same thing with comedy.

You know, there's a thousand ways to do comedy. That's why I look at what stardom is and what success is in comedy. Successes in comedy is whatever you make it. It's not ending up. You can't look at these comics and go, oh, I want to be like this guy. I want to do arenas. I can't wait to hang out with Rogan's nephew, because by the time you hit it,

Rogan will have a nephew by that, you know. And these things are all great that you look at as a young comic. But as you move along, life throws curveballs out of you, and life changes, and you have to adapt. But what do you do? Because you can't do your dream the way you wanted it, you quit. Now, there's another way to take it. Okay, they're not going to know who I am in Spain and Munich.

You know what I'm saying? But don't know who the fuck I am in Kennerwick, New Jersey. If I really want to do comedy or did I really want to be a star? Let's narrow this fucking go down. Am I doing this to be in Barbie, too? Or am I doing this? Because I can't live without cracking jokes and seeing people's faces. Fucking smile.

I went out last Wednesday night, Lee. I had such a great time because there's no pressure. Right. guess what? I took a couple jokes on the way down there, and a couple of the ones I wrote on the way there. There's no jokes. It's whatever I do.

And when I feel like I could do this every night, then the residency isn't going to kill me because I'm only going to do it twice a month to start. And then as it advances, I'll kick it up a little bit. And then the place where I want to do it has a bigger room. I could do that maybe Thanksgiving. right back to the small room throughout the year if I chose to do New Year's I could do the big room if I want to

and then go back to the little room the rest of the year so St. Paddy's I could do the big room or I could do the little room I'm not going to lie to it Lee I don't see myself getting on planes every week these Boeing's are going down like fucking ditty you know what I'm saying they're going down every day there's a new Boeing going down They are. And like, that's what, like, that's more of what I was thinking of because I totally understand that like I'm not getting on a plane. But at least if you are somewhere, people could plan and come from all over. Listen, who's going to come to Atlantic City? You know, what are you going to do? Fly into Newark to go to Atlantic City? It's a great time. I'm not going to lie to you. But I don't know. I don't see it. They got a beach and shit. You come up with a little oil on your neck. You know, a little Katrina shrimp in the middle of your toes. But, yeah, Lee, listen, I'm thinking about this job.

I got off at this summer. And it's bothering me because it would be like a four weeks of work. But I don't have the time. I just don't have the time with what's going on in my house. And this year, every weekend, we're basically going away for softball. It's not, it's an hour away, two hours, pine barrens, you know, we're going to tournaments and shit like that. They're playing a regular league during the week, Tuesday,

but then I think August 4th we start, you know, or April 4th, I'm sorry. Guess what? Well, Joey, you know, you don't have to be there. I don't, but I want to. I want to. She's getting bigger by the fucking day, you know. I got a telescope upstairs.

I got to replace it with a fucking machine gun turret because she's getting old. She's getting old. She knows what's going on. You know, I would love to be able to do this. I just don't have it. If it was one day of shooting, yeah.

I want to go to Colorado this summer. She's got a couple things planned. We're going to Cape May. Nice. I don't have it in there. I just don't have the... I know I'm going to be mad if I got to work and something's going on here.

I'm going to go, God damn it. You should have done that in the wintertime. You know, there might be a strike in July, the stage hands. You know, so who the fuck knows? I just live day to day now. Whatever happens this week. I'm waiting on this audition. If I get it, I get it.

And if I don't, I go to Jiu-Jitsu. That's it. It's that, bro, it's become so easy. It's because, I even forgot to do videos on Instagram. I haven't done a video on Instagram, like a check-in, and maybe two-harts. Well, it seems like after all those years of being mean to yourself, like you're finally, like, at peace. Well, listen, I don't have to be mean at myself in the morning,

because let's face it, I know where to fucking go. I could beat myself up to death in the morning by myself and then knock myself out because at the end of the day, I got no place to be. What do you need to fancy suit for? You got no job to wear it to. Right? What are you in the fancy you? I can lie to you and tell you I got all this going on.

I'm so stressed. You know, I chose this right now. And there's some days I do kick myself in the ass. But for the most part, I'm like, there's days I do something and I come home and I'm like, what else do I got to do? Nothing. Woo! Now I don't know what to do. Sometimes I clean the office.

Sometimes I polish the bun. Sometimes I write little jokey poos. sometimes, you know, it's always something. I go to the gym a lot. That's it, brother. You know? I would love to have, listen, it was so weird where I saw what people were doing,

and I always said this. You would just ask me to wait tonight, and I'm going to give you a straight answer. Do you think I feel bad when I see people in arenas, and I know that that could have been me right now, like maybe five years later, six years later with exposure and shit and that work ethic we had,

I could have done something like that. I looked at the work and I'm like, I just don't want to do it anymore. Not that I quit, I just didn't want to do it anymore. So I had to find a different avenue. And if it's doing one night a week somewhere, just to mix and mad. No, I still got a lot of great jokes coming out of me.

I still make myself laugh. I giggle like a fucking half of fruitcake sometimes at night especially. But I'm like you now. I'm upstairs. So now I got to think about the joke all night and make sure I remember it in the morning. Oh, yeah.

I don't remember shit. I'm glad you're not upset. I can understand being a little bit disappointed if you were. But like, if anyone had asked me, if a hundred people ask me, does Joey Diaz want to do arenas? I think I would have said no a hundred times. I can't imagine you wanted to do an arena.

I don't like people looking at us. screen. Listen, we all like the money. Oh, yeah, I'm sure. That would be great. A person that always thought about these people. And I know when I go to a six a game, I'm looking at a screen, no matter how good the

tickets are. Mm-hmm. You know, and people are right on top of you. Like, you're like this. And, you know, I don't know. It's an event, but I like small little fucking events. Right.

Like, I don't mind this small. You know, once you, do it, you just go, fuck it. I just want to do what I'm good at and just keep doing it. Listen, I knew I couldn't keep the pace up. I knew that eventually something was going to happen.

Either it was going to be a health scare. I always thought that. And I'm like, that's it. I don't have to worry about this no more. I can live my life close to home and I could still do comedy. Fuck yeah. And at the end, that's a final result. am I on posters, am I on billboards?

No. And I don't want to be. I just want to be happy and crack some fucking jokes. Yeah. And like my, like if you, as you were talking, I was thinking about like,

my favorite nights probably in our time in L.A. were Wednesdays in the small room of the ice house. Like those shows, whether they were like our live podcast, testicle testaments, are you doing stand up? Like, especially you doing stand up in front of like 80s?

people on those Wednesday nights were like... Fun that I have me. Think back. What do you say? How much fun did I have? Oh, dude. It was, they were probably the best shows I've ever seen because of you,

because I've seen you in bigger rooms and they're fun and you have a good time. But like the old, I don't know, I'm sure it looks great now. I've never, I haven't been, but like at the old ice house stage two, that was, like, you were lifted up maybe a few inches, but like people, you were like, you could probably spit on everyone in that room if you wanted to. Like, and it was just, you had so much fun. And it was like, just like the laughs and that, and those days were fucking just.

Just trying the people were loose. And we could, that's when I called you the fucking in front of, you were in charge of porn in Auschwitz. A porn director of Auschwitz. I mean, listen, man, I don't know if you know this. We were doing the first live podcast and putting them up, selling them and shit. I mean, we were fucking nuts. But, listen, I could talk about fun all day long on stage.

There was no more fun. If I think of the three stages later on in my career where I used to just let myself go, was the main room at the comedy store. Before the pandemic, I got really good in there. Consider how bad I was in there. I got really good in there, but I learned how to goof on people in there.

I learned how to just say shit to make them look at their faces, and it just became fun for me. The original room, I can never go back to the original room. Because my brother in the original room is no longer with us. And I give credit what credit is due. I was a great comic in the original room, but that was because of Jeff Scott.

And he's no longer with us. And I'm the type of guy I'll give credit what credit is due. Since day one, Jeff Scott knew I like to dance. And he would always play music for me. In the beginning, there was a time where he would just put it on the middle. I'd be in the middle of a joke, and he'd put on music. And I'd have to dance, then go right back to the fucking joke. You know, he made me.

I heard that song about a month ago on Sirius, and I fucking, I had tears in my eyes. Come on and do it. Do it. Do it till you're satisfied, the beginning of that and shit. That's what you would play? Yeah, always. The last seven years I was there before the pandemic,

he just caught on to that, and he was like, Joy, we're doing it every night. Do it. Jeff, I think about the comedy store, and I'm like, I can't go in there. they even built a little wall for Jeff in the back where he used to smoke they put like an ashtray and gold they bronzed it

Jeff was a big part of that fucking place huge and I also had a lot of good times at the Houston Lab Stop the whole club holy shit and all these rooms are 300 and under

right I did great at the fucking the theater in New York. I used to do great at Gotham. I used to blow that fucking room up. I enjoy myself in those rooms more than the theaters. I can't lie to you. Right now, I just want fun.

You know, so that's where I'm at. Fuck it. That's awesome. How about you, brother? I know you're in Connecticut this week. I'm in Connecticut. I'm at City Steam Friday and Saturday, but there's a big one coming up, April 13th,

Gramercy Theater with Josh Wolf. And that's the city. Yeah, that's in the city, Gramercy Theater. A Saturday, or? I think it's a Saturday, yeah. I'm almost positive. It's April 13th for sure, Gramercy Theater. Where are you Friday night?

Friday night, nothing yet. I'll definitely do a trip up there. And then I also have something coming in May, New York, but that's a far away way way. Maybe you're coming on the 13th and just stay here. And we'll leave the following week for the 420 show. Fuck, yeah. All right, let me find out what I could do. And then we'll announce it on fucking here next week or the week after.

That'd be on. I would love to do that. That'd be fucking badass. That's how we do it, brother. A little 420 action. You know, I thought, I got to do something for 420. I didn't feel like doing a solo show. I didn't feel like going to a fucking weed store.

I didn't feel like going to a weed store and just like taking pictures and stuff. Somebody offered me that. They work at a week tour like the owner said, they'll pay you to come up 420 and take some pictures. give you some weed. How was in the mood for that? So I was in the mood to do something. Somebody called and said, are you interested? I was like, fuck, yeah, how long?

15 minutes, that's all you need from Uncle Joey. So I'm looking forward to that. I'll let you know, brother. That's awesome. I can't wait. Yeah, and that's it. I wish I had more for these fucking savages at home. But you know what, man?

We're doing the best we can. And it'll go longer. If you're having fun, if you're not getting burnt out, you'll do it for longer than if you did a few shows. You know, like, this fucking sucks. There's nights now where I know I have to get out to do comedy. And I shoot the fuck out of here, seven. Shoot out of here, like a bad out of hell.

I'm like, fuck this. So it's still my love. Just not to that. It's a different thing now for me. You know what I'm saying? Gee money. How many edibles you take tonight? I took 300. I don't think anything happened.

Yeah, it doesn't look like. I only took 100. I took more than... You said 50 wasn't enough. No, 50, you're part-time in it on me. You know what I'm saying? I took 300 because I had a little bit of a headache and nothing happened. My friend gave me some shrooms today for a birthday. I got like two... I got these shrooms this long. They're the ones gay people putting their asshole before they go out in L.A. You put it in your ass, you put like a panty liner and you go out and have a two-de-four drinks.

The mushroom dissolves in your ass. and there you are with the whistle of debt. It dissolves in your asshole? I think so. I never heard of the... What are you talking about? What do you mean what I'm talking about? You put a mushroom cap in your asshole and it dissolves?

Years ago, the gay guys in Hollywood would take an X and melting it and sticking a turkey braceda. Holy shit. They do anything. If you put shit in your ass, you get higher. like I got a butterweed in there I know if I stick it up my ass I'll be high for 12 fucking hours

Oh That should be the test for the 420 show We have to stick It's gonna happen soon Some fucking lunatic is gonna go listen If you stick 30% weed up your ass It's completely different You eliminate a heart attack

You eliminate this And there'll be a fucking bunch of zambos Walking stoned with a fucking limp From the bud that backfired in their asshole They forgot that they had like fucking bug cleaner in there or whatever the fuck they got in there. And now your pubic hairs

are on your asshole. This shit. Thank God. And only one in their asshole. I don't do that stuff, you know. But if you want to put a mushroom up your ass, I ain't mad at you. That's very nice of you.

Listen, if I put a mushroom on my ass, I bet I got a million followers out of that thing. I'm going to put it on YouTube and let the fucking let the friend click hit, Jack. I wonder how long. they would actually stay on YouTube. Like, even if they don't catch that. They wouldn't catch that.

You don't think that they'd catch that. The damage is done. I got 20,000 kids put mushrooms in their asshole going out at night, make them believe they're a rocket ship. You know what I'm saying? I love you, buddy. I love you too. You know, I'm out of my fucking bird, dog.

But anyway, have a great week. And we'll keep this party going as long as we can, Cox up. Stay black. Have a good week. week. We'll talk. The checking is brought to you by my favorite, Blue Chew. Listen, if you're having a problem rising to the occasion, Blue Chew is going to be your new best friend. You're like, Joey, why? Because Blue Chew delivers ED medicine straight to your door. And trust me, it works. Blue Chew tablets offer the same ingredients as Viagra and Cialis, but way cheaper. I love it. They come in little

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