The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - If you want a problem, Joey Diaz will give it to you

Episode Date: September 16, 2025

Joey Diaz tells Lee Syatt about how his feelings for Adam Sandler evolved once he met him, sending Facebook messages to the officers who arrested him, bleeding out of his nose at a Christmas party, how The Comedy Store is like prison and so much more! SHOW NOTES Support the show and get your first month of BlueChew for free, just pay $5 for shipping. Press in code JOEY at https://www.bluechew.com Support the show & download the DraftKings Pick6 app & press in code JOEY. New customers get $50 in bonus picks with just a $5 entry on your first pick set.

What's happening, beautiful, Uncle Joey here with my Jewish Cato Lee Syatt for another fun-filled episode of the church. What is it? New Testament. New Testament. Tuesday, the 16th of the month. It's moving fast, people. So get on the boat. It's moving fast.

We're down to 14 more Mondays until Christmas. And you're sitting there worried about, huh? Please tell me that's right. That is right. How do you know that? Because there's a stupid tidbit that Yahoo put up about a month ago. So just doing the fucking math the last three weeks, I'm down to 14 Mondays. It's stupid.

I would never say that. But when I read it, it simplified a lot of things in my life. You got 14 Mondays to get it together before the end of the year. Monday is the day. You feed the spirits. You pray. You thank God for giving you another week to be the ultimate warrior. And we got 14 of those.

Do you still do the glass of water? Every Monday. How long are you doing that? I didn't do nothing today. No. I really just lived for the spirits today. I didn't do nothing. How long have you done the glass of water?

I'm three years old. Every Monday. For my father. But I have a couple glasses. I have glasses for his grandmother glasses. Vinny have glasses. So you put a glass for everybody who died. I'm running out of fucking glasses.

Dead! Dead! Dead! I'm running out of fucking glasses is what I'm saying to you. Oh. I'm supposed to listen. Listen, you have no idea what the Cubans do. So on Mondays, Cubans are supposed to, no music, my family, my fan, I don't know what your family does.

But for the spirits, there's no music early on at daytime. Okay. You have to give them water. You have to clean the spirit, it's called something. Altar? Ancester thing, that's what it's called. Like, I have his mother's bottles on there. Anything somebody gave me, you know, somebody gave me a gun.

I can't put that up there, but somebody gave me a statue of, like, you know, a guy. a thing, I have his statue there. And you just put a little thing, man. I put a picture of his grandmother and a grandfather that I got from your aunt. And you just put them there. And I don't have a candle for all of them. I'll light the house on fire. Because that's what you're supposed to do.

But then you're supposed to feed them. Like actual food? Whatever you cook, you have to put a little dish out for them. I know. That's nice. I know. I know. I know. Until you have a cat or a dog. A fucking mice. Okay. Or you get really stoned and you want to, you've never

eaten that food heavy. And then you have a spirit that don't get along. Shut up. So you got to feed them in different rooms. Was it people who didn't get it along in like the wind

while they were alive? When you do the Santeria stuff right. When you cut up the animals there's saints that don't get along. So you got to put them in different rooms and do the

when you cut the gold or the fucking chicken or whatever, you have to put them in different rooms. There's one saint that likes to eat in the bathroom. So you can feed them in the bathroom

so you got to go piss around them. Is that your favorite saint? I don't know. I don't remember anymore. You get to put a candle on. He likes to eat. And I remember being like a kid and burning my foot on the candle. Oh, no.

Because you got to go pee and walk around the fucking candle and the Cuban stool. And you got fried bananas in there. As a kid, you don't know how many times you're like, man, I'm going to eat one of those bananas. But your mother scares the hell out of you. She's like, don't eat those. Because the spirit will punish it. They'll put cake out for the motherfucker. I'm like if it's his favorite cake and you're sitting there fucking, I can't eat it because, fucking.

You're on a diet. I'm going to die. You know, whatever. It's just, so that's what you're really supposed to do. When you really get down to it. That's fucking cool. Mondays a fort, you have an ancestor table.

And you just put, like I put the two kids I grew up with North Bergen that died because they were part of your life. Fuck yeah. And you ever see the movie Coco? Of course. It's one of the greatest movies of all time. Oh, yeah.

You gotten pissed because my ex didn't like that movie. I know. I'm like, I can you not like that movie? It's a fucking great kids movie. Like, listen, they paid me to go see it. I know. So I didn't give a fuck.

I went in there like, King Ching. But I was like, this is a fucking tremendous movie. Because all it says is whenever you put a picture up of somebody that's dead, you pull them out of that. You keep them alive in heaven. And then what's the plot of the movie? He has to pull his grandfather back from heaven. Well, there's, so I don't remember how he got there,

but it was like his grandfather was being forgotten. Hold on one second. I know people at home are going Joey. That's it. it. We've had it with you. Coco. How old are you? You're an old man. You watch Coco. I got a daughter.

And sometimes those kid movies, dog, let me tell you something. All those pics are. The idea I went to somebody's house to eat dinner. And the little girl was watching one of the, the guy with a skinny with the big head. I feel like that's all of them. Yeah, one of those. Was it Shrek?

No, the other one. And I sat there and I was giggling. Oh, you? I have a good time. Even Edibles is great. And then I realized. when you're a kid, you want your people to watch TV with you. Like, Mama, come here, watch this. She's like, I'm busy cooking, you know. So I didn't know.

I just went over there and sat with her and her sister. Right. And my wife, my wife was in there. But she got so excited because I sat in there. Like, me and my wife sat there. Like, she would look at me and go, watch this part. The whole time. The minions.

Oh, shit. Okay. The minions. Those are great. Those are good ones. And they play, you know, they're geniuses. because they play music for us. Uh-huh.

They put music that we grew up with. So at least you're not sitting there like a fucking idiot in the movie theater. Hey, nothing here for me. Also, you know, they put like Justin Timberlake, you get a little wiggled to you, niggled, you know what I'm saying? It's great. I love getting high. And you were so, because you got to bring mercy to, like, the premiere of that.

Of Coco, yeah, because nobody named Coco. Right. So that was the deal. For those people who don't know, let me tell you what happened. I got a call, like, Monday at 3. They're like, hey, man, are you busy tonight? And I've always said, yeah, because I don't know what they're going to hit me with. So I'm like, yeah, and they're like, oh, man, Disney's willing to give you like $1,500 to go see Coco because the tennis player dropped out.

Cocoa dropped out, and then there was another Coco. And we'll send a car. Oh, shit. I was like, okay. And I'm like, I got to go to Disney World anyway. I might as well work them when I'm down there for some Disney shit. Fuck. So, yeah, they set the car and everything.

Mercy was all excited and shit. We went down there. And the movie was sensational. Then the guy gave me some loot. And then the guy came over and made go, listen, I got to get to Disneyland. And I want that package where you get the tour. I'm not waiting out of lines. You got to do the fucking under the cave tour.

That's the only way to do that. I don't even want to go under the cave. That's Moriah Care. and James Bond and those people. I just don't want to wait online. Right. That's it. And the guy goes, done.

So. Isn't that the time that you tried to eat edibles and they almost threw you out, though? Yeah. he doesn't fuck around. No, the girl just, you know, listen, man, there's people that take that job just a little too seriously. Oh, yeah. They were giving him maybe $8 an hour to be like a part-time security. No weapon, no flashlight. No whistle. I was going to say. And, dog, she watched me from him. I don't know why.

She just thought, like, what's that in your hand? A key. Yeah. And then she's like, no, I go, I got an edible. And she goes, well, you have to put that back in your room. Like, all right. So I just wanted, my room was right there. I went around eight half of it and threw it in the garbage.

I went back. She goes, you didn't go up to your room. I said, are you serious? She goes, yeah, I'm not going to let you in. I go, hold on. I have like eight people with me. I go, get your boss for a second. I go, listen.

Just give my mom. money back. We don't need this aggravation. Then somebody came from Disney. No, no, no, no. It's all right. And I'm happy. So this day, I love that woman because she saved my life. Why? Because if I would I eat a whole edible, I wouldn't be here

right now. That was one of the scariest fucking days of my life. Oh, I can't imagine. Honestly, like Disney's fun on edibles, but if it was hot and you're walking around for like 12 hours? It wasn't hot. And you know me, I ain't walking nowhere for 12 hours. It was the rides. Really?

Yeah, I got on a ride. I'm like, all right. And also, the ride took you around, but you had to go over a lake. I didn't know that. I'm in that motherfucker like, yeah, and also when I look over, I'm like, oh, I'm over a fucking lake. And you got scared? Petrified. I thought I was going to puke.

I just kept going around around in circles. I got off. I'm done with rides. Then I went into that fucking happy ride. It's a great world after all. It's a small world. Yeah. You were going on that.

You sit there, and it takes you around the world. but they throw sand in your face when you get to Indian shit fucking I never forget sitting there going thank God I need a whole edible because you go to India you go to all these countries

sitting there and you're really your feet are only this far off the thing but you feel like you're really up in the sky and with an edible you don't like that that's so have you ever freaked out on an edible in public

like I know you did I know if you've been on planes but like have you had like a legit freak out no I had to freak out on Coke at a party here in Jersey one time. Really? I just thought you yelling at everybody.

What the fuck are you motherfuckers looking at? I'm bleeding from my nose, you know. What are you looking at? You're bleeding. You're disgusting. You're a fucking junkie. What are you doing? It was a Christmas party.

Was somebody's Christmas party from Northbury? And I was fucked up. What does it feel like when you're fucked up on Coke? You're just like, out of too much energy? It was like a week of doing coke. Okay. It was like three nights, then I took a night off, Then three more nights, then the holidays came.

And when you would go from the 21st to the second, you know, it was like one of those parties on the 28th. And I went off at this party. I'll tell you who was, there was a North Bergen guy that was going to beat me up. Okay. Because I was just calling everybody a fuck and all this shit, and I'm bleeding from my nose, and I'm walking around with a bottle. I'm like Scarface. I was like Scarface in the restaurant.

That's what I, like, a week later, I was like, I got to give this shit a break. Really? Yeah, causes like a schizophrenia after fucking... Well, if you're not... Because you're not sleeping until those three days. Fuck. You're not sleeping.

So you're just snorting and you're eating minimal stuff. You got no money to eat. But you got a lot of money to do coke. That's the problem. I never understood that. I didn't have a hotel, but I'm snorting coke to 8 in the morning. I never understood that. But that's when that...

It was like a schizophrenia. I caught myself. Like, after yelling at people for three minutes. I'm like, holy shit, I'm standing there, bleeding from my nose with blood along my shirt

with a bottle of Jack Daniels in my hand, yelling at a party full of 30 people. And that's it. I think I didn't, I was out of North Bergen a week later. I was gonna say that's hard to get like... I was so fucking embarrassed.

So fucking embarrassed, man. How long did it take to, like, did you have to, like, be sober to be embarrassed? Did you have to come down from it? Or, like, immediately? I didn't give a fuck that night.

No? I was still yelling. the car and shit. Your uncle drove me on with Vivian. I'll never forget that. And we didn't say a word in the car. It's not a word. I think your uncle

he didn't matter with me at that point. It was like a three-month stretch that we're going crazy. I can't. I have nothing to like compare it to like because you don't plan to go on a bender like that, right? Just sort of happens? No, you know, it's doing anything. You just, you know, it was holidays and

You know, I was young. I didn't really know. Nobody really knew. And it was like a week long, 10 days of just pounding it, you know. And now it's Christmas shit. I had no family. So now it's the 28th.

God knows we're going through my mind. God knows. But hold on. Let's start this thing properly. Okay. We'll be right back after Blue Chute. Hey, Uncle Joey here. It's a beautiful Tuesday morning.

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We're back. All right. How was your week? I had a really good week, actually. I've had a couple of really good weeks. I did a couple midnight shows last week, which are really fucking. dark. I did one at a club and one at a bar.

And at the bar, because you didn't get mad at me earlier this week, but I did a late show. And I, like, I did okay, but I was trying to do too much material. So then I went into this midnight show.

And like, it didn't even start to like 1230. People basically were just stumbling in, like, hammered. And I, I think I had like an eight minute set. And for like six,

I had them. And like the last two. Because I, could you just, were like, you didn't get mad at me, but like, don't do material for midnight shows. So I was trying to, I just went off the cuff a little bit. But that was really fun. And then actually tonight, when I'm super excited about is I'm actually going to see

Adam Sandler tonight. And I'm fucking. Where at? The stadium, the like basketball place in Albany. Because last night he was in New York, but I couldn't go on Monday night. So he's in Albany. And it's like, I don't know, man. with all these people like just getting older and Adam's not old but I've been in love with him

since I was in middle school like Adam stanton like happy Gilmore for me when I was growing up in like the 90s happy Gilmore I still remember I was Jonathan Nicholas house and he should buy like I he just I think he had the VHS I forget where we watched it but it blew my mind and I didn't even really know him like the Hanukkah song came later like I was like I want to see and then he came back a couple years, like that Netflix special where he had that Chris Farley song at the end? It was fucking great. It was fucking amazing.

That Netflix special, I thought, was phenomenal. Listen, I didn't know how to feel about Adam Sandler. Before you met him, Raft. I'll never forget I had to watch one of those movies, and I'm like, this ain't going to work from me. I can see that? And then, here's the funny thing. The guy that's directing,

take a banana for a ride. Jeff Ross? Jeff Ross has a great one-man show and that I want to go see. Yeah, me too. The guy that's directing, his name is Steve Kessler. Okay.

Steve Kessler is nephew to my main man, Mike Kessler. Oh, I thought the name's telling him. When I was getting into comedy, he'd always tell me about his nephew, NYU. And then I didn't hear about his nephew no more. Like, what happened to his nephew?

And I'll tell you what happened. His first directing job. was happy Gilmore. Fuck. And after three weeks, he went into the studio and said, I can't do this no more. I don't think the kid is funny. Had him?

And they fired him. Yeah, I can see that. That motherfucker didn't work for years. How can you get it? Because he told the truth. Listen, I was going to say props to him for being honest. Listen, when I first watched Adam saying, I didn't know what was going on,

I had no idea what was going on. I watched the one with the kid. Billy Madison? One of them. I watched the kid. I think he was probably four people my age. Like those movies, and now his movies are getting older. But that movie, Happy Gummore, Billy Madison, there was another one. Big Daddy.

Big Daddy. Those three. Dude, they still, like, those are the movies. If they're on, I have to turn him on. They just, he's just silly. Like, it was just like the height of, like, just being. silly. And I honestly don't even know much of his stand-up or I

have no idea what he's going to be doing on tour. But it's like, it just, I don't know that to me is I don't know what did it even compare him to for you. I didn't know who the fuck he was. Right. And then I wouldn't even watch that shit. I wouldn't even watch that shit.

I'm not a big sign of that live guy. Right. So Chris Farley and all that, he was whatever he was and that wasn't for me. So I just got a call one day that he was directing the longest shot and I'm like let's give it a shot right give it a world and I did everything I had to do and when I met him for lunch

he surprised the shit out of me but not really it was in a professional environment it was when I met him for the table read that I was like oh I got to pay attention to this motherfucker because he wasn't your normal actor he wasn't acting like an actor right and then we did the movie and I really got to like him. Like I watched his scenes. I didn't think he was overly hilarious. Right. But I got his comedy and I got his warmth, which is really good.

And during the movie, I started watching, like, one of my favorite movies is 50 First dates. Oh, yeah. That's a great fucking movie. That's a fucking great movie. So, but when I watched his Netflix special, I got to ask him, I was blown away. And until this day, I thought it was the best special of the year. by hands down.

It was a few years ago, right? It's variety stand-up. He comes out with a guitar. He does sketches. He brings his friends up. He does stand-up. It's a party. He knows how to do it.

He's a fucking genius. And that was, like, that one he shot at the entire tour, right? Like, that was, I think so. Like, because he had the other guy playing the piano for him. Somebody. That was a great special.

It's a great fucking special. Something different. And it's... Remember I've always told you? What have I been telling you for you is? Something has to change. I hate going to shows which three comedians and an hour. And something's got to change.

He changed it. He changed what I thought you could change. He changed it. Like, he just said, this is what I'm going to do. I don't like guitar comedy. Right. I do not like it. I don't, you know, it's for a certain person.

It's for a certain person. Right. They have to want to be in a band. Like, that shit drives me fucking insane. Okay. Okay. when I, you know, you always think about the people that are hard to follow. Right.

And you always think about, oh, I'm going to have a hard time following Eddie Murphy. I'm going to have a hard time following Rogan. I'm going to have a hard time following Bill Burr. No. No. Why don't you go up there and you stature, I used to have to follow this fucking guy. And not only that. Like, I used to, this is a different time.

I had a different fucking head. and I would have to follow this guy that didn't have a joke throughout his whole act. Nicest guy in the world. But then he went in the back. And this is 2000. This is 98. This motherfucker would put a Tina Turner outfit. The whole thing?

And sing like a couple Tina Turner songs. Listen, nobody could follow this dude. Were they laughing after or they're just going fucking nuts? A fucking standing ovation. people dying in the halls holding on to their hearts and you know like I work every night in the fucking competition and I can't get them to laugh one time this motherfucker puts on a wig

goes out there as Tina Turner and look at these poor white people they're all over the floor they're having a heart attack giving them a standing ovation I couldn't figure it out I could not figure it out right and those are the toughest people if done correctly that you're going to have a follow

because it's not a job They just did, like, a music parody. Right. I was at the comedy store one night, and James Stevens, the third, went up. And they fucking hate him. Everybody hated James Stevens the third. Nice guy. The audience or the other comics?

The comics. They called him James Stevens deterred to his face. James Stephen was a black dude. You guys might remember. We played the piano on the Stephanie Miller show at night. There was a show after Kimmel or, I don't know. this is 95, 96. So me and Josh

opened from Seattle. He's from Seattle. Okay. So I got to meet him and talk to him. Very nice guy. I got to LA. You know, he would sing when he would fucking go up there

quite a couple jokes and he was good-looking. Then to boot, he would sing like fucking the black singer from New Jack City at the end before they get shot. He's like, not marry Jay Blige, that's a woman.

Whatever is fucking name is. Marvin Gay? No. Marvin Gay? was dead by that. This guy's up there fucking, I want to be, but those black singers,

women just chubby black chicks go crazy. So fucking, specifically. That's who would go crazy. It's all the chubby white chicks and black chick when Steven would sing. But one night I saw him at the improv with a little organ,

he fucking flatlined the place. I left that bang in my head on the fork. I got to go get an organ now. What the fuck? But one night, He was at the comedy store, it's like 40 people, and he leveled it. Leveled those 40 people. It had to be 1130 at night.

I'll never forget Eddie Griffin went up after him. Any one right after him. He's like, let's keep it going for James Stevens deterred, you know. Oh, no. And all of a sudden he goes, because this is what I'm saying to you, there's some people that flies with, and there's some people that don't fly with. Don't fly with me. but when he said this on stage

I'm like, thank God. He goes, I don't know that motherfucker. He didn't say motherfucker. He said a different word, a derogatory word used for black people. He says, He's your imagination. He said, this motherfucker didn't read the sign out there.

This is the goddamn comedy store, not the singing store. I'll never fucking forget that. And was this at like the height of Eddie Griffin being a star? This was like the height of it. Before he crashed the car. Oh, oh. I can't even imagine.

Bro, nobody will talk to Eddie now. Why? Because he crashed that car. It was worth like $300,000. Why do they care? I don't fucking know, but nobody else gave him work after that. They couldn't put him behind a fucking wheel of a car.

I think, what's his name? I don't know the story of him crashing his car. The man was a father who lives in North Bergen. Lady Gaga. Fucking put him in that movie with the son. star is born. Blinking and shit, him and Dave Chappelle, but before that, nobody had seen Eddie Griffins's

white chicks or something like that. He crashed those cars. What cars did he crash? I don't know. He was on the set of a movie maybe too fast, too furious, and he fucking, and he blew up some cars, a 400,000 Maserati or something. Oh, that'd be fucking cool to see. But I can't imagine killing on stage at the store

and then a star. It'd be like me going up doing well, and you going on stage and, like, not in a, like, like a lighthearted way, like bad melody me. Like that would kill me. Would you work again? What was the set he was on? What was the movie he was on?

A $1.2 million car. I got to be honest, that must be pretty fucking cool. I get my fucking $1.2 million. Do you think they charge him for that? I don't know. I think when you crash a $1.2 million car, they pretty much just look at you and Tate to go home. They don't even want to look at you.

They don't even want to look at you. at your face. Like, you just crash a $1.7 million car. They don't, you don't think they insured for what it? I thought they were going to make money off of it. No? This is a guy that sold his own script.

He wrote a bunch of scripts that he sold. I know from, I know for a fact he showed Daddy's grandma's boy or mama's boy or whatever. He sold that. That was his script because he was trying to get me in that movie. You know, he was a good guy to me. Whatever.

I'm not saying nothing bad. I'm just letting you know the, for some people that shit don't fly dude i've never i've messed up at work but 1.2 million that's that's hard for people to come back from that's very rough but i did and i won't i won't name the guy but i that kind of happened to me at the comedy store i got to do it like a few i was by no means it was like a produce show but i was going up and this guy that i've loved since i was a kid like one of the first comics i liked was going up before me and i had done well at the store previously and he brought me up because there are some comics who when they go up all the comics weren't in to watch

them this is not one of them le siat and i hit like i was like a year or two into stand-up and like the first like it was the last time i was at the main room i got like an applause break i came in thinking i was like hot shit the next time he brought me up with that and then it no applause break it was it was i still i i'll never forget that i'll never forget that i'll never So I can't imagine having Eddie Griffin go off in him for probably, like, what, 10 minutes? It's funny. Like, when I got to the store, there was one guy that wanted drama with me. There was one guy that wanted drama with me.

And every once in a while, he would bring me up and say something. And I would get him outside and go pretty fucking funny. And he was doing it for all the wrong reasons. Like, he had no idea that I would fucking bury him. Number one, he was a fucking a fake biker, which I really don't like, as it is. Because a biker, I had a fake biker when I kidnapped Vela. I had the same thing. It was a fake biker.

He had no biker blood in him whatsoever. And this guy had no biker blood in him. He had just rode a motorcycle one time and thought it was cool to be a bing-g-g-g-g-and-all-that-shirt. And had a leather jacket. Now, forget that I said something to him. Like the last time he said something when he brought me up I said something to him Well, when I went up I goofed on him I said exactly that let's keep it going for the fake fucking biker Oh Jesus yeah because if you want static I'm gonna have to give it to you at the store

It's like prison the first time they smell weakness they're gonna fucking steam roll you The other comics yeah the comic I would I would you know that's the way life is they're gonna steam roll you So that's the way I looked at you can't take no shit from these motherfuckers especially up here, no matter who the fuck they are. And the bigger they are, the bigger you go at them, man, everybody will remember. It's one of those situations when you're choking them and you come out of you. What was I doing? Just like that fucking cocaine scene.

Okay. While you're choking them, they're like, you don't know who I am. I don't give a fuck. And then they realize you don't give a fuck. And it's good to do that. So I said something on stage like this fucking guy. And when I got off, he was outside. And I just told him, you know, if you want a fuck them problem, I'll give it to you.

whatever the fuck you want to do. So I knew he wasn't real. Right. And then I did something that I thought I'd never do. He came up one day, and he was selling Girl Scout cookies for his daughter. And I had a chance to either rob him. Like, that's what I was thinking of doing, like, stepping on him,

like crushing all the cookies. Like, that's how fucking crazy I have, okay? Like, just knocking the cookies out of his hand. He had the whole table set up, and you were going to just, like, Godzilla or a fucking table. And nobody was going to say a fucking word to me. That's how, like, I just said, I was, at the store, Mitchie Shaw wasn't going to throw me out,

and Mitchie Shaw liked when I went out of a motherfucker. So this would be perfect. He did what? He stepped on your cookies? She would have loved that shit. So I said, you know what? I'm going to take the hire room. I bought three boxes from him, even though it was my cocaine money.

And I'm looking at me. And that's where I knew I fucking had him. I owned them. Right. I could eat them alive after that. And then they stopped getting spots. And I started rising in the ranks. And I had had him a Facebook message.

one day to remind him of who the fuck he was messing with. Oh, I love that. And after that, he blocked me. Did he respond to the message? Just a little reminder who the fuck he was messing with all those years. Because he ended up with nothing. He ended up in San Diego sweeping at my, you know what I'm saying? At 50, he wasn't, he was done.

He was done. His career was fucking done. And I was just getting started. So I had to send him a little note to remind him. What did he say in the note? I haven't seen you up here in a while. I guess my jokes were a lot better than yours, motherfucker. Oh, my God.

How good did that feel to hit send? Like a new man. Oh, my God. In fact, today I said, my arresting officer in Boulder, he hasn't been posting lately. And I saw he posted today, but my, uh, for police con and I go, hey, what's going on? You're going to talk about the kidnapping. He won't reply to me. Whenever I see it's his birthday, I write him a big birthday, no, like, he's, you know, like,

you know, birthdays on Facebook. Jimmy, how you doing? Happy birthday. You're still an handsome motherfucker. John Bonnet all the way. You know, fucking. Dude, I'm... Because he was in charge of John Bonnet Ramsey case.

But hold on. What? You friended the cop who arrested you? I had to. What do you mean you had to? I had to. The other guy won't even respond to me. He hated me more than life itself.

The other cop? Oh, there was one cop. He even showed up. I'm one of my divorce hearings. He even showed up when I smacked John. He showed up to testify against me. They were all looking at him and shit. In the case that he wasn't involved in, he just hated him.

I'm saying horrible things to John and my ex-wife. And he kept saying, put a lid on it, sir. And I'm like, fuck you. Last I checked, this is Amendment number one, two, three, four. So hold, and you sent, but you send the cop who lagged you enough to accept the final request but doesn't want to respond to your messages? What? Why do you torture?

Well, you just find these people. You know what, man? You arrested me, so now I got to let you know I'm all right. And I'm doing just as good or better than you, bitch. So how you like me now, motherfucker? You didn't make a mistake. You arrested a criminal. But some of the shit you said in court, you were wrong.

And here I am to prove you wrong. That motherfucker has never said to me, hey, man, congratulations. Thank you for doing what you did. you for turning your life around. Nothing. He couldn't say a word. The other guy, listen, I did comedy works on time,

and a junior cop worked with me, a guy that worked for Boulder Police. And I told him, I said, you work with that guy? And he's like, yeah. You're going to see him tomorrow? He goes, yeah, I go, ask him about me. The next day, the kid came in to feature for me.

It's like a bunch of comedy acts going in front of the comedy work. Right. I said, what do he say? You don't want to know. And the kid, like, was standoffish for me the rest of the weekend. And the next time I came, I called, asked the bomb. He didn't call for spots.

They're like, no, not this week. He calls every other week. That cop scared him off me. But he believed him. Like, you know what I'm saying? Whatever the cop said to him, they don't, they don't. Like, if you came to me and said you did something 30 years ago and I'm watching you now, the life that you live now, you know, I'd eat my words.

I'd say something to you. Hey, man, congratulations on what you did. I didn't fucking like who the fuck you were, but I still don't like you. I still don't like you, but I got to congratulate you on what you did. Right. The odds are you turning this around? Well, one thing, the odds of you being in a fucking movie, that's another. The odd of you being in more movies, that was something else.

You know what I'm saying? Like, I understand that. I'm big enough to say that to somebody. I fucked up with my judgment 20 years ago because I was a fucking idiot. So now if you come to me when you're 35 and you say to me you went to prison and you came out and I see that you're working, you got a wife, you're not doing blow. I got to give you a nod. Because isn't, that's what you'd hope police officers because in theory they're there, like a lot of them are there to protect you and also like to reform me. That should be the goal of prison.

But I don't, I think a lot of these, who knows? Maybe they hold grudges. like do you think that's so do I that's why Facebook oh I love it that's amazing that's so do I so do fucking I how often do you like send them articles

like with your variety things or anything nothing how often I don't need to do that just that I'm on the other side of that Facebook fucking thing with them just that I'm because they predict that I wouldn't be yeah you follow I'm saying that do who else do you have on like

the fuck you message list I got about 200 people hysterical How do you keep track of all these things How you're doing lately What's going on How you like me now

Those are the best When you're like me now And then do you even like Do you go back and forth with them Or if they respond You don't even talk to them If I tell you something That's even creepier

For all the shit they talked They don't respond to me That's fucked up Out of 200 How many do you think was one. Three. Damn.

I remember when I first started, like, going on Rogan, I had kids from North Bergen hit me with eight. And I would fucking tell him, fuck you. And there was, like, a Spanish kid that went after me on Twitter. Like, my father said, you robbed the sneakers and all this. You're still a piece of shit. And I go, your father still works for M.W.A. And I'm in fucking L.A. getting my dick sucked and my balls licked.

And he goes, how do you know my father works for M.W.A? Because you're a fucking idiot. for even being on here. And the trap will don't fall far from the fucking tree. For you to even relay that message on a Twitter that your dad says that, you're a fucking idiot. Yeah. You haven't done that in a while.

You used to go back and forth with people on Twitter sometimes. I had it. Old school Twitter was fun. All-school Twitter was fun, but then you have to think about, like, why the fuck? Like, listen, man, you wake up in the morning, you got a cup of coffee. you think about your day

you kiss your family you pet the cat you fucking feed them whatever the fuck you open up your computer and there's some guy like going after you at 7 30 in the morning a lot of people don't know how to handle that and the first thing you do where we're from

we're like hey motherfucker you got a fucking problem and then all of them were the same they all fold right it's just people trying to get a rise out of you and some guy today on Twitter,

hey man, you got to start feeding Lee. Have you seen Lee eat lately, motherfucker? Obviously, you know, like, you got to start feeding Lee. Like, I think I've eaten enough. That's why I don't understand. That's why I was telling you, you can't read the comment.

Never. You can't look at it. It's a retardation that is so bad because it makes you think when you do that, you'll get eight great kids. comments and then one that is so incorrect

dumb that you have to I don't you have to ask what made that person say that right but what's going on in his life that he's such a fucking loser because at the end of the day he knows he's a loser

this is why he's saying these things I'm 62 years old I have never fucking gone on something and said, I really don't like what you're doing. I think you're against the policy of whatever. That would be nice, though. No.

No, no, no, but compared to all the angry messages, I don't like you. You're against my policy. That would be something. People tell me to blow my brains out. Oh, yeah. Talk, they'll say shit like that. Oh, my God. The vacation thing about the vacation?

I had people so angry about that. People took it to the heart. The Epstein stuff I talk about, oh my God. And that's how I know we're doing a good job on the podcast. Right. When you get that upset over a fat 62-year-old talking about your vacation and who earns a vacation, you're not thinking about what I'm saying. And if you read the comments and if you saw the way they attacked me for it,

you could see that they weren't even standing what I was saying. But you never worked a day in your life. You're flying the one on the road with Rogan. Okay. I never worked a damn my life. You know what I'm saying? Like they don't understand. Right.

But I think the difference with you is like most people, I think, ignore it. Some people like go back and forth in like a stupid battle. You were fun because you would just like obliterate them with like six words. And they would like they'd go crazy. Crazy. I can leave, come back eight hours later. And the guy's still figuring out. And I would go, oh, no, God, poor bastard.

That's when you know he had nothing to do all day. Right. Uncle Joey here, as you guys know already, football is back. And so is a shot at you guys to win big with Draft Kings pick six, the official daily fantasy partner of the NFL. That's right.

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Bonus awarded as non-withdrawable Pick Six bonus picks that expire in 14 days. Limited time offer. See terms at pick6.draftkings.com slash promos. He's sitting there. He's watching CNN or whatever fuck they watch all day long, and they watch that. The fucking Democrats are ruining the world, and they just go off from that. Speaking of it.

Listen, there's a podcast with comedians. We discuss what happens in the world. That's what a comedian does. I don't like to get involved in this type of because then people label me

a fucking political, whatever. I'm not political. I'm a felon. So before I even go into this thing with you people, just remember one thing. This is coming from a felon stamp point.

Last week, something happened in this country. That was not good. Now, if you want me to sit here and tell you I knew who Charlie Kirk was, I'll tell you. I had no idea who this man was. I had no idea who this man was. Did I ever see him before? Maybe.

Maybe. I don't know. I don't know. That's my downfall as a human being living in this country. That I tell you people, I blacked myself out from that, and I do. And I feel very bad for his family, his wife, he left kids behind. I don't know what he's stood on in this country. I don't know what platform.

I just keep learning little things. He's on a plane with J.D. Vance. So obviously he's a Republican. He's a young kid, whatever. What I do know is, I saw a chick from my neighborhood. That's crazy. She drinks and she sings karaoke by herself. Can't we wait to see how you connect?

And she's got like a little 11-year-old boy. And I opened up my Instagram, and she was on that crying, like, tearing, crying. And I remember when it went down, my wife said something to me. I didn't know what I'm talking about. And then you try to put the TV on. They're saying the guy's bleeding from his neck in fucking Utah and all this stuff. Again, listen, my heart goes out to his family, his kids. Obviously, obviously, the guy was a great guy because fucking people were upset, Jack.

I've seen people die in this country that last one or two days until there's a balloon or crack a barrel changes his name again. Then it goes away. It's fucking Monday. I wanted to pay the bill before for something. And it's still on TV. And there's still people crying. So this guy was doing something good. God bless him.

But I got to tell you something. I'm not talking about this for political or whether he was right or wrong. Something, when my wife told me I was downstairs writing or something, and I go to the first words out of my mouth, honestly, guys, was the world's changing. And it's changing at a rapid fucking, it's just changing guys. You know, fucking, I mean, I know they're in Memphis now, right?

The National Guard's in Memphis. Oh, yeah, they're going there too. Why they weren't there the last 10 fucking years? I don't know, you know, because that's what you got doing these towns now. Chicago, you know, I mean, you have how many murders every weekend? North Bergen, New Jersey. I grew up here fucking two murders last weekend, one murder, two shot in middle New Jersey. That's never been a great neighborhood, but nobody's ever been shot in it, okay?

That's the project. That's never been in the people junk, you with heroin, you know, they work at the MUA, whatever. But they fucking, nobody gets shot. Rhymes are changing in this country, you know, and you have to make a note of this. Well, I think. You have to make a note of this shit before. you want to go do things from now on. Like, it was an issue years ago,

but we can't stop living our lives. I'm not going to get on a plane because the terrorist is going to get on there. I'm not going to not go to a fucking giant a jet game anyway. And I'm not going to go to a jet game. I'll never go to a jet game. I'm not going to go to one of those games

because I'm going to get shot. Right. You know, like right now, you have to think of anybody who has a plastic. Anybody's got a platform. You could be at the fucking, they could be the New York Comedy Festival where you're at Washington Square Park

doing the comedy festival and you get shot in the head. And you get shot in the head. I mean, you know, I know that, and again, this isn't a political podcast. What I'm trying to talk about is some guy got shot, man. For no fucking reason.

I think what's happening because I wasn't like fifth. I think it was in fifth grade when Columbine happened. And it like slowly started to happen. But now the sad thing is these things are happening once a month at a minimum. Like I got to be honest with you. Because when they were, I was watching the news on this and they were talking about when Trump got those two attempts. And to be very honest with you, I forgot about the second attempt.

I remember the ear, but the there was a whole, these happened so far. I don't get a fuck about Trump getting shot. No, but I'm just saying these things happen all the goddamn time. This is not a fucking tear Trump type of guy. No, no. This is a lower end type of guy. I don't know. This guy, he was on that level, apparently.

He was like the next, like a store. Like, that's why they- I wanted to mention Trump. I would have mentioned Trump. You know what I'm saying? I wanted to keep Trump out of this conversation. But it's not, okay. The fucking guy died.

Got shot in an afternoon. and Utah of all places. I could see if it was Northern New Jersey. I could see if it was Buffalo, New York. I could see if it was fucking L.A. The guy with the flag shot him and shit. But fucking Utah, you know. And it's just, it's a different world, ladies and gentlemen.

And. On a college campus. On a college campus. You know, I don't know. I don't know any details of the shooting. You know, again, I don't know much about what's going on. I know they captured somebody, they caught somebody. He's not...

His dad turned him in. Yeah, he's not cooperating with authorities. You know, people are getting... I'm going to have to talk to my wife, seriously. I'm getting mercy off the computer, guys. In one way? No. Time.

Limits. There's got to be limits. There's got to be limits. Because they said that he got... What's that word? Remember when we used to go to the... 7-11 and the crazy one. On Chandler?

On Chandler? With the music? Yeah. You get rationalized when you went and shop that? Radicalized. Yeah. Oh, yeah, do is go in there. You could be the nicest white guy.

Go into 7-11 on Chandler. There was so many ISIS in there. And the music they played, the flute, everything. You come out of there like, fuck America. And then one day, remember, they shot the owner's wife. They got stabbed. Two people got stabbed and murdered. I knew that fucking.

It was no kidding and Chandler. And he's talking about the music. music and he's not like, it's not like they had a little speaker or his phone going. It was on the speakers and it was, it was like a party. He was like telling you go, fuck yourself, where G-Iad? And we're going to blow this fucking neighbor up any fucking day. And it was next to a laundry mat that was open 24 hours. Yeah.

That was just as fucking scary. And it was maybe three blocks from the house, maybe. Yeah. Laurel Canyon in that channel. Let me just, I can't fucking five years. Like one major street. It was Laurel Canyon. and then Colfax.

It's like a long LA, but it's not like a New York block. Laurel Canyon and Chandler. Where would I get off? On the one-on-one? I'm on Laurel Canyon. Jesus Christ. I got to start taking it.

I got to start eating beats. What are beats help with? I don't know. Everybody's eating beats in a gel form. They get their memory back. Oh, it helps with me. Yeah, dude. So, um.

Santa. Anyway, oh! Okay, now I know. Jesus Christ. Yeah. I got to go past your house. Yeah, it was right. Pass Colfax and then after Colfax,

past the hot dog place, past Popeyes, past the yoga place, go past that light. Right. And Chandler was the one that had like the bus going down the middle. All the Jews lived on Chandler. I remember going to that place. Yeah. And I would get like snacks or something now.

Fuck, yeah. and they used to be like a Japanese hand job place. That was a different 7-11, but yeah. Because this one, this one, you were exactly right. It was that and a 24-hour laundromat. And you for years were like, don't go to that 7-Eleven. The ISIS 7-Eleven. And then right before we left,

a homeless dude was like robbing a 7-Eleven and he stabbed two people. Like it was 7-Eleven's in L.A. like a, kind of like a lawless, like, like homeless people were there. Well, then there was the one we used to torture the guy. The one where the lady was sitting and I put the light in the ride. And she's like, oh, fuck yourself. That's where I met the black hooker that night.

Oh, yeah. Remember the hot chick in the Jeep that started talking to me? And you're like, you know? I'm like, no. What was that like to hunger and something? No. It was right across from the diner. That was the one from the diner.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't remember the street. The block when I beeped the horn on them, the Masons. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That was a great block. Next to the YMCA. By the park, yeah, yeah.

By the park there. But, dude, the light, that four ladies' eyes. She was just sitting in that wheelchair. Like, I don't know. She was a fake. She was, the wheelchair was just stunk. How did you get there? She was like Eddie Murphy in $40.

The wheelchair, not $40, trading places. Right. The wheel, she was walking around. I would see her walk around. And then she would sit there in a wheelchair. She would push the wheelchair itself. Right. And then sit there, like, trickier.

and asked for coins. And one night I pulled up, and I put the light in her eyes, just to let her know. I knew what she was up to. And when we got out of the car, she was like, oh, fuck yourself,

and all them. But we even gave her money. We tried to, I don't think she, I think she didn't want to take it. And I can't, was that the night that you had me steal the milk carts?

And I was fucking paranoid. Did we steal him from that son of 11? One of them. For the, for the, uh, records. I really want to go back to L.A.

for a week, one week. Okay. And if I tell you what I want to go back to do, you would not believe it. Because if you know me for real, you know what I want to go back and do. Burn some places down? No. Do you want me to guess?

Yeah. Okay. If you knew my torture's side, what would I obviously get on the plane to go do? The first one at some point is you would drive. year old neighborhood and run over the guy's cones. That's the first thing. Okay. It's nothing.

I would just get on a plane to do that to that guy. Five nights and four nights in a row and then Friday we knock on his bell. And you ask him, if somebody's been running over your cones and we put it on tape just to see him go, yeah. He disappeared for five years. Nobody touched my cones. We're going to be care. They have cameras now. Who gives a fuck?

We're renting a car. We're renting Uber's. They link that to people. We can't have an Uber. driver run over someone's cones. Listen, you get one of those Uber drivers 50 bucks. One of those Mexican Uber drivers are.

They don't ride over your mother. They don't give a fuck. Those drive over your mother fuck. They don't give a fuck. Those Arabs got no licenses. They got nothing. They're like Cubans. They got fake birth certificate. Those Arabs come over dog.

They don't give a fuck. That license. They don't even know who the fuck they are. And try to find them. Go back to Arabia and try to find them. You think it's hard to find a Mexico? Mexico? Good. Once they got the frolic on the head, what do they call that?

So they're going to have to leave America from $50? What do they call that? The Muslim wear? I have no idea. That should be a new line, Muslim wear. You know what I'm saying? Like terrorist wear, like clothing when shit's on fire. You know what I'm saying?

If you're thinking of blowing up, that's just like. Bab boom. Oh, my God. Everybody wants to blow up. Do you imagine their store at the mall? What happened? Like they would have a store at the mall. Oh my God.

The terrorist line. That'd be tremendous one now. Lee and Joey's Babboom. Why do we have to own it? We'll let Nick on it and then we sit and get no money like assholes. That's what the fucking white people said. Why? Why were the Indians?

Because we're trying to make a dollar here. Why would we want to want? You don't want to make no money. It'd be a little controversial. That's how you make money. By boom, bab boom. You don't remember. Before you were born, there were these shirts.

that if you put the shirt on, it would change colors according to your body heat and mood. Okay. That's a, it's called body cam. We bring that back and we call it body camouflage, knowing before you get blown up, like that minute before, you know, before you die, you get that last shot of fucking whatever and EMT and the third eye goes to work. The same thing, this shirt will let you know that you're about to die as a missile. Like if you wear this.

that knows the missiles coming when it starts to change colors. That's a fucking good idea. I'm going to shut up. I've been looking for an investment. This one is it. Hamasware, like something like that. That would actually do very well right now. Oh my God, Hamasware.

Yeah. Those are scarves. You tell a million scarves. And 10% goes to the poor Hamas kids that ain't eating. But you don't send it to them? No, we're going to send it to them. You're okay. That's 20%.

Those kids are starving. Those kids haven't seen. Those guys saw a kid that was 18. He's 5 foot 1, not even. He's 1 foot 5. That's what I meant to say. He's fucking, they're like a foot and a half. They ain't even growing.

They got no nutrients. It's like Cuba. These kids can't grow. Right. They can't grow. We're cutting out a whole civilization of these poor kids. I mean, we're goofing around.

It's a joke, but it's not really a joke. No, it's not. Listen, Jews got to do what they got to do. I'm not mad at Israel or anybody else. War is war. And, oh, they're going to hate us for this podcast. It's all right. But, you know, you can't.

be mad at everybody. I'm mad at Israel. And I went there. And like I If people are sending rockets or like there's a lot of reasons why Israel has to do certain things. And like there's no, you can't justify the things that are coming out of there. You can justify it to a point.

And you know what? I'm not, I'm not saying Hamas is obviously fucking a thousand per. They're there. They put hospitals around. on people, they're, you know. Nobody's right and nobody's wrong. That's to leave it at that. Right.

But I've never wanted to see kids starve. No. You want to starve me? I got like 80 days. You can starve the fuck out of me. I got Chinese ribs. I got fucking stugats. I got fat all over.

Yeah. But those kids, you know, it's a hunger issue. And it's a kid issue. So I don't care how you feel about different political things. You never want to see a kid starve. No. I wouldn't want to see my enemy starve. You know what I'm saying?

maybe a grenade up his ass, but not a kid. You follow me? I have a lot of enemies. I love to put a grenade up their ass. Man on fire style? Yeah, but they have to be over 30 years old. I'm not here to. More 30s?

The minimum? To blow someone up? You know, it's just, like I said, guys, in the beginning of this, all this stuff, the starvation. We're living in a different fucking world, man. And it's not it. The old world's not.

not going to come back. It's not going to get any better. I'm not here with negative shit. This is just the obvious. They just killed a kid on a college fucking campus. This could be us. This could be you. I mean, nobody would shoot and they don't give a fuck, but this kid was actually doing something good. Kids loved him. He was doing something for kids. I watched an interview with an 18-year-old kid. The kid was goofy or whatever. What would I rather him doing? doing that or selling drugs or doing the stupid shit I was doing. I'd rather than be doing that,

the kid. And I don't, I don't, I'm not speaking poorly about anybody, but just the other side of it, there are people who are on a certain political side who don't think he was doing good, but no matter what you think, like, about what he was doing as a person to get it, like, shot in front of, like,

that's wrong, no matter. what? Well, I did hear, like I said, guys, after the pandemic, I stopped trying to watch the news. The pandemic threw me into a fucking state that I had fear. I had a fear or something I didn't see. That's not who I am, you know. So I know I just didn't want to watch it anymore. I don't really catch up on that stuff. I'm not going to turn the TV on to watch something political. I don't want to get aggravated. But I have heard that people were, Chearing, people from TMZ. Oh, yeah.

A lot of people got in trouble. A couple people, journalists lost their job. Like I said, again, listen, we were talking about Danny Merwin guy, the guy that owned the comedy club. RIP. We made a joke. You know, listen, you can make a joke. But to cheer outside when you're a journalist or something to that nature and cheer that somebody died, again, we're talking about the world changing. And I want you to be aware of that.

That's all. I just want you not to go, wow, how could that happen? Things are happening. Things, you know, when we were kids, if there was a shooting in Manhattan once a week, it's two in the morning. What do you think happens in Manhattan? Two in the morning? You're giving out flowers? What do you think happens in Manhattan?

People are drinking. There's drugs involved and there's guns. But now it's every other day. There's a shooting somewhere. a kid, this, that. Look at this comedian guy. That's nobody really talked about. I mean, I know that kid.

I know John Reap. Oh. I personally know John Reap. He's a kid. Sunday nights at the store. I know him. This got to be 20 years since I did Sunday nights at the store. I know that kid a long time.

If you're going to, if I'm going on a plane with you guys, And also I look down as a picture of him on TMZ, got arrested 11 counts of child molestation. Listen, I know that kid, man. He never gave me, I'm not going to lie to you, he never gave me the field of somebody like that. Right. And I just want to clarify, it wasn't child molest, it was like something online. Nothing physical. Child porn, whatever.

I know, John. And you know what? I don't agree with what he did. I don't like what he did, but I got to say a prayer for the guy. You know, I got to go, well, John, listen, man, the devil is working overtime. Just note that. Ever since fucking they shot Kobe, the devil has been working overtime. You don't believe me?

Look at the results. Look at what's going on in the world right now. The devil's working overtime. And there's just so many, look at there's cities you go into that. you walk in the street and all of a van pulls up. I don't know. And you hear Andoule, undole. And people with masks, we're grabbing three people.

Whether they're, you know, in the old days, I would grab you and mirandize you and, you know, read you the riot act and gave you a minute to whip out your license and go, this is who I am, blah, blah, blah, blah. We're not even doing that in this country anymore. No. Again, people voted for that. This is what you wanted. I don't want this to be a political podcast, but think about it.

We, this is not what I paid for. All right, I thought you were going to stop people at the border. I didn't think when I'm eating at Rudy's. You're going to come into Rudy's and take my favorite clam guy. You know what I'm saying? Like, where's he going? And he's getting taken away. He's going on.

Where's he going? And that's what's going on right now. People eating at restaurants, you know, you get used to Donatello's, and all of a thing you're there and fucking peppy. He's getting whipped out of the kitchen while he's whipping up your eggplant rollitini. Oh, my God. You couldn't give him 20 fucking minutes. You know what I'm saying?

I'm not finished the dinner? You know what's the more wild? Is they're sending people to like a rate? Like, I don't remember the names of them, but like in Africa. Like they're sending, like, they're just sending people away. And can you imagine like if, like, you made it to America from another country and then, like, they suddenly you're on a different continent. And like, I don't know how, like, you're kidding.

You can't walk home. So wait a second. I'm from Columbia. I ended up in New Jersey. I got a wrestling, Connecticut. And now I'm in fucking Africa. So can you look it up, Nick? I think.

They didn't even do black people that bad. Like the slaves, they at least took them from one destination to the other. These motherfuckers are getting treated like Chinese people in the 20s and shit. Oh, yeah. This podcast is definitely getting taken down. This is amazing. Anyway, I just want to, you know, I really wanted to bring. the Charlie Kirk thing up.

No. Even though I'm not political or politically inclined, he is a human being. Absolutely. And that's what I was talking about. That, bro, get ready to cut grass and guana.

You'll be chasing lizards. There's a dead animal on the street. Did you guys see that tonight? What the fuck is that before? Just chubby, laying in the middle of the street. I had to drive over him two times. There was no parking. I mean, I didn't run him over with a tire.

I had to run over him real slow. Like, I didn't want to hit him. I thought he was just resting. He was like Joe Pesci and Goodfellas. He was resting. I know what I'm resting. I'm resting. I'm in the bushes and sea clubs.

Where are you at this week? This week, I have a few shows. This week on the 17th and the 19th, I'm going to be at Shibis, which is at the Three Monkeys Bar. And then on Thursday, I'm going to be at St. Mark's at 10.30. And don't forget, New Jersey,

September. 26 the dojo will be headlining. Yes, sir. I added some shows. I got the 24th at Levity. There's a wait list, so there's no fucking wait list in my world.

I add October 8th to you animals, so I'll see you in Levity. October 8th, and that's all I got right now. You guys know the schedule. You got November 8th. Where are we? Is that Virginia? MGM.

MGM in D.C. Then on the night before Thanksgiving, we're at Philadelphia, Parks, Casino, and then December 6th, 5th, we're at Virginia Caesars in Virginia. So get your tickets down sale right now. I got Staten Island coming. I got Tampa coming.

I got a couple things coming, but for right now, just focus on October 8th. That's all you need to know, Levity Live, all right? And September 26th from my little penguin buddy. over here. Lee Syatt. And we love you and that's it. Thank you for supporting the Monday Night Football.

I was going to say. We've been doing it. It's fantastic. Hopefully you'll see the one that we did last night. I love you guys. Stay black. Have a great week. It's on YouTube and X.

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