The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - Joey Diaz doses Jim Florentine's friends and tortures Lee Syatt

Episode Date: October 28, 2025

Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt welcome comedian and radio host Jim Florentine to The Church. Joey and Jim torture Lee about his wedding plans, Joey and Jim talk the wild football parties Jim throws and Joey getting chased around Jim's basement by a naked friend, Jim tells the wild story of the wrestling photographer who slept over his house and much more! SHOW NOTES Support the show & get 15% off your Bioma order with the code JOEY at https://gobioma.com/church Download the DraftKings Pick6 app now. Play $5 & get $50 in Pick6 Bonus Picks with code JOEY.

What's happening, beautiful people? Uncle Joey here with his Jewish Cato for another fun-filled episode of the church of what's happening now, new edition. What's happening, brother? I'm good, dude. Good to see you.

Everything all right? You got a little sniffles today. Got sniffles. Got a little sicky pool again down in Philadelphia. Oh, that's because I was out all. Dude, it's the number one food city in the country. I was just out. It's like, it's, I don't,

I dare you to name one better city than Philadelphia. Philadelphia, food-wise. Philadelphia has great food, but it's pointed out of a certain direction. Yeah, they're fat people. If I go, yeah, no, no, no. But you got to go something. Like, when you go to Texas, like, if I take you to Houston, and one minute you're eating good Chinese,

and next minute you're eating good barbecue, and next minute you're eating good Italian. That's what I'm saying. When you go down there, yeah, you got a red pie. I mean, I love the food in Philly. Yeah. Don't get me wrong. I always eat when I'm down there.

You do see that. Of course. And I live to go down there. I love the food at the stadiums, the back. Basketball, I love it. Yeah. But I don't know. I mean, I can't eat that shit every day.

But how often do you eat barbecue? I could eat more Italian than I could eat barbecue. I could eat Mexican too. They got Mexican in Texas. Do they really? Oh, yeah, they do. You're right. You're right.

You're right. I'm sorry. I've had nothing one day for three days. Yeah, you made a mistake, okay. What mistake do I make? But Philly food is fucking great. Oh, it's the best. I love the people.

It was just a great weekend. It's my favorite city to go, just go down there and say whatever the fuck I want. I know nobody's going to say a fucking word. If you have a many guns at your show, yeah, they're going to leave insulted. But the good thing about Philly is, as they leave, people clap. Get the fuck out. You weren't one of us anyway. So get the fuck out of here.

It's that plain and simple. And that's why they'll never be whatever the word is. They'll never be that. It's always, you know, it's like I told you. I took my daughter there and I didn't give a fuck because I'd rather hear it from somebody else at that age than for me. And I told her, we're going into Philly. This is live. The St. Memorex.

The saint fucking a tape. The St. The St. fucking Billy Ilish saying shit. You know, you know, this is fucking real. This is,

what was on, there was like a dick on the wall or something? On the wall. Not even, we didn't even go into the stadium. And there was already a dick and balls on the wall. And she goes, Dad,

look. We go, yeah. Welcome to Philadelphia. You know, once you see that, that's it. You know where you're at.

You grab, You grab your kids and go, we're leaving. We're going to where there's culture. There ain't no culture in Philly. This is Philly. That's a good thing about Philly. This will always be Philly. And somebody will always call you out in Philly.

And that's it. I mean, look at the people who've come from Philly. Look, I tell you, I'm going to get tickets. My birthday this year, they're going to do Julius Irving's birthday at the spectrum. It's against the Atlanta Hawks. But it's Julius. I mean, he's turning 77. it's 76 so

and are you going to get good seats or like what are you going to do I'm going to sit up in the top with a bunch of fucking people that ICE made a mistake and arrested that's what I'm going to do a bunch of Mexicans got arrested it illegally yeah I'm going to try to get the best fucking seats you're going to get a Julius like Jersey or what are you going to do? Oh yeah yeah I'm going to get a Julius jersey like an asshole no

I'm going to go there and watch him and that's one of my early fucking idols he's one of the guys that's why I told George I hope he don't die either him or me die before his birthday. Jesus. You know what I'm saying? That those tickets will be a waste of time. You need to do a drinking game

is how quickly you can bring up you dying every episode. Listen, Cox, Tucker. Every fucking episode you're dying sooner and sooner. It's the obvious. So when I do die, you go, you know what? He knew he was dying. He's a good dog. And I thought you won't be crying like a pussy at the funeral.

I'm taking the pain from you. Little by little, Cox, Doctor. You don't see what I'm doing. Not too many people are going to cry at my funeral, but you will. With a Diwali blanket, you'll be fucking crying. I'm going to your house and taking every last bit of weed you have at that house and selling on an eBay. There's no weed left, okay?

It's going to be like Ralphie Mae's wife selling everything on eBay. I'll sell all your stuff on eBay. Fuck it. You know, how weens in the air? Yeah. What are you dressing up as? I don't know. A fucking Christian, I have no idea what I'm dressing up as.

What are you? I haven't dressed up in fucking years. Me. Why? It's not my agenda, but I don't. dressed up yesterday. What did you dress up as? A big bad wolf. And you had a whole wolf costume? Yeah, but it was lame.

My wife made it. So it was like a fucking gentleman wolf. I had to make some adjustments. I had to get fangs and put some blood around my mouth. And fucking, you know, I got like, she got me like two little cattyers. I'm like, what the fuck? I look like fucking John Candy and space balls.

What the fuck is wrong with you? I had a little cape and she got me a bow tie. I don't want a bow tie. When you were eating fucking girls, you don't have a bowtie. You're just digging in. They grab it to choke you and you're eating that fucking wolfy wolf. So what do you have like panties hanging out of your mouth? What do you want?

Like what kind of wolf do you want? I put my cap panties and I put them in my collar. You know, you know me, dog. Why did you dress up? You went like trick-or-treating already? No, who goes trick-or-treating? I don't even, blood dog. That's burning too many calories.

I don't trick-a-treat. I cross the street. I got a fucking Hershey, what is that? The peanut M&Ms that tastes like dick. You don't like peanut-m-m-ems? Yeah, but the little ones taste different than the good ones they give you. I didn't know that. When you're chubby, you got to know these things.

That's why when you tell me you go to CVS and buy those little bags, I get upset with you. Oh. Because today, do a sample. Go get a bag on sale. Okay. And go get a big fucking bag of fucking M&M peanuts. Oh, yeah. Eat two big Eminem peanuts and then take the ones from those little Mizadab blags.

Oh. Eat two of those and see what they taste like. They taste like a fingernail. I don't get those little. little many ones. Yes, you do. Because you go to CVS. I go the day after Halloween.

That used to be my favorite day. 80% off and the fucking thing's really stale. They chemically make it to be stale. Good. It tastes great. It's like this thing we went to last night, this Halloween costume. Every year, you know, people enter the window.

I didn't enter. Okay, I didn't even get up and dance. I had 1,500 milligrams of me. I wasn't going anywhere. I was just laughing by myself. The shit people put on, you know. So why do you have a costume? amount of you weren't entering the contest.

Because my daughter went. It was a family thing. Okay. So I wasn't even going to go. I was going to stay at Jimmy's and watch the fucking football game. Right. But I'm like, you know what, man? This is what you do.

I don't want to do it. But this is what you got to do every once in a while. Fucking, you know, be what it takes to be a father every once in a while? Yeah, you got to fucking eat a bullet and dress up. What did she teach herself as? Go with your kid. She was something from some show. I don't fucking know.

Oh, so it wasn't like a fan. I thought it was like she was going to be a little right, riding hood and you're going to be a wolf? My wife, why would I eat my daughter? You know what a perverted motherfucker you? What are you talking about eating her daughter? Yeah, my wife was Little Red Riding Hood. Oh, okay. And I was the big bad wolf, but now she told me Friday we have to go to another one, so I'm going to go out this week and get myself a really fucking big bad wolf. You're going to be the same costume? You got to something different? No, no, I'm going to upgrade this big. You got to be like Julius Irving. No, stupid. I'm going to work. The wolf man she made me

was below par. Okay. I'm coming out. Friday with the fucking real wolf man. Woo-woo! To be it, I'm gonna get some new mushrooms. I'm trying to score a $10 bag of heroin. I want to fucking do a line of heroin and just start fucking like, foaming from the fucking mouth like that Mexican and narcos. You know what I'm saying?

You're like, are you going to be Julia serving? Yeah, that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to be a white Julia serving. What's dumber than a white Julia serving? And God forbid you put suntan or something. Then I'm Joey Whiteface. and I'll never be able to crack a joke again because I hate black people

because I took it back to Hal Jolson. You know what I'm saying? I need this shit. Why would I want to be Julia serving? Anybody who puts black makeup on, it's like fucking raping a girl right now. If you put black makeup on and take a picture, you're done.

You won't even get a job anymore in this country. You won't even get a fucking job. They'll labor you, racist and this and that, and it's not even worth the aggravation. I would love to dress. up like a black fucking dude, like big dick. I told you, my daughter wanted me to dress up like the bullet that killed Charlie Kirk.

That's how, that's where she's coming from. She was begging me to just go as Charlie Kirk dead. Please put the scarf on with the red thing. And my wife was like, you can't, Joey. But that's what I really, like, if somebody has an off Halloween, I'm showing up like Charlie. Big Dick. How would be. Dog, you know, listen, these people in 1980s.

when I was an abortion. Stop. I dressed up, dog, I dressed up with fucking thermal underwear and I put a hanger around my neck, you know what I'm saying? What did they say to you then? You can't come into this party.

And his uncle dressed up like garbage. That's the best costume. I think abortion might be garbage. They took a metal garbage can. Right. Cut the bottom off. Right. This was fucking fuck all these shows.

they put garbage cans on, they put those farmer straps on. Okay. And they took the cap and they took fucking a bag, a brown bag, and they crazy glued it, and they rolled it up so it fit their hats. Right. So when they put the lid on, then they took the lid and took strings and tied them to the tails of live mice and went into a party. And once they were all there at the same time,

they picked up the mice and started eating them in the fucking party and people were puking. Girls are crying. That's Halloween. motherfuckers. That doesn't seem like like candy and fucking

who wants to go see the apples. Bobbing for apples. I'm eating raw I'd rather eat bob for apples and raw fucking alive mice. You are as boring

and as white. This is why America's going to take it all by Chinese people any day now. Yeah, I want to bob for apples. I don't want to bob for apples

but I don't want to eat mice. You know bobs for apples faggots and practice. That's how they take you to faggotry school. How to suck dick. That's what you do. you bar for apples.

It's like the seals, Navy seals. They make you go in the water and hold your breath. Same thing. When Eric was like eight, he went to fag school. At eight,

they're already teaching them. Catholic school. That's what it's called. When they train you to be a faggot? No. These are lies people, please. Anyway.

Is Mercy going to go trick-or-treating this year? I don't fucking know. He's fucking 12. Why would you take? I don't know. I really. If I were you, I'd make her so you could get the candy. What, fuck, I don't want that candy in my house. Come on. Why would you want that shit candy in your house? There is a bag of that shit upstairs year-round.

And every once in a while, I'm not going to lie to you. I'll go in there and get a Kit-Kat. That's it. 1500 milligrams if you're eating one Kit-Kat? That's it. That's it. And it's not even when I'm high, to be honest. It's like when I have a craving for chocolate or something like that. Everyone, if you're going to eat chocolate, there's good chocolate for you to eat. Like what? I don't know. You go to one of those fucking whole foods. And they give you nice chocolate.

You do not eat whole foods chocolate. The lady around the corner had some of the house and it was very fucking good. Did they switch you at fucking the hospital? If I told you I was eating whole foods chocolate. Listen, you know what the good thing about me is? Not only do I have a good memory. But I remember how shit tastes. Unless you're a fucking moron.

And I know Jimmy O'Votch for this and George. Well, I don't know about George. Is it me? And if we go online, it'll tell you that scientifically, your buds change as you get older. That's true. So, yeah, like, if I used to eat, like, when I was a kid, I used to buy date nut bread.

That shit ain't even around no more. Date nut? Date nut bread. It was made by Sarah Lee, and I'd cut it and put cream cheese on that motherfucker and eat it. I think about that now and I want to strangle myself

because I don't even like that shit. You know what I'm saying? I understand that. I understand not going to Burger King every two meals. I understand not doing that shit. But I don't understand like honestly, when I open up a bag of my daughter's cereal,

I told you guys immediately that is not the cereal. We ate as kids. Now, none of it. When fucking Apple Jacks don't turn green, the milk, They don't make the milk turn green and their little fucking pellets,

that's not what I grew up on. They're pellets now? They're pellets. Captain Crunch, that's gone. All that shit. That peanut butter crunch with the pirate, gone. The cocoa mix,

they don't make your milk turned... And the thing that is chocolate is probably killing rats in another country or something like that. You know what I'm saying? Right. This is the truth. You taste it.

Dog, I remember coming from... I remember being a little kid. and I was addicted to her as she bars. Anything that said chocolate on it because of my little spick mind, I couldn't read English, and I thought it meant chocolate late. So how Cubans say chocolate.

Mexicans had chocolate. I thought they were saying chocolate late. So at night, I'd eat chocolate when I was a kid. My mom would go, why are you bouncing off the wall? 11.30 at night, because I'd eat the real thick fucking chocolate, that shit that they'd get you from the sweet and stuff. My mom would make it to make fucking,

Hot cocoa or something like that. Well, go get chocolate today. Go get a piece of Hershey chocolate today. Don't taste like it. And I went to that Hersheyville in Pennsylvania. All right. And the kisses tasted a little bit better. Okay.

But get a kiss now. Get a kiss now. It's scientific chocolate. It's not fucking the chocolate we grew up. That shit's hard as fuck. No shit. Unless you leave it in your pocket for 12 hours. Then you go in there that's half melted.

You got a little fudge on your fingers, but you don't give a little fudge on your fingers, but you don't give but fuck you haven't eaten all day you know what I'm saying you need you need some sugar in your sister oh I I can I that's what I would do when I was at three when I was 300 plus when Halloween time came around I would get a bag every time I would go to I used to honest to be honest with you I would do open mics for like the last year of LA just so I could go to that 7-11 and get candy on the way on I would eat that that's like that like people talk about like hitting like the rock bottom with like drugs and shit

candy is my rock bottom because that's when you called me from Minneapolis and you said you fell asleep you got so high oh yeah doing the twitch you fell asleep on the chocolate and melted all over his bed yeah and he woke up covered in chocolate and fine I'm like wow and then I ate it I ate it when I woke up and you know that listen man I see where you're coming from because I could see you like you were heavier then yeah and at that point you were a little down you didn't know where to start you were starting to walk a little bit. But, bro, when you're walking on ice, you might as well dance. When you're falling a pound, it's like when somebody says, listen, you got double

lung cancer. You know, you got eight months to live off. Break out the cigarettes. Brother, break out the cigarettes. What am I going to do now? We don't smoke, you know, the church group, listen, fuck the church group. I'm smoking, I'm snorting. I'm doing everything.

Whatever the doctor tells me, I can't do. And it's the same thing. Like, you just, you want to beat your... I remember trying to get off Coke those last two years. And every time I go, I want to get off. I just do another fucking apeo and go, what the fuck am I doing? So it's kind of an addiction, but man,

the shit they're giving us today completely fucking different. Entomans, come on, man, completely fucking different. Those cookies from entomans, you buy them and they break. Now get them. They kind of soft, but not really.

No. They added so much shit. And so what do you do? Do you make your own, I don't know. I don't have the fucking answer. You're not supposed to eat it at all, But it's like, I honestly think they're like they're trying to kill us because they just come out with shit all the time.

Like Wendy's now has frosties with like hot fudge in it and cookies in it. Like they come every time I go on a diet, I feel like they come out with shit that I've been praying for as a fat guy. And they just come out with shit that no one ever needs to eat. Oh, those Reese's Oreos are delicious. You haven't tried them? I should bring them in. No, no, don't even bring them in.

Why would you have them? those pellets of debt. I'll tell you what changed. Oh my God. And don't tell me nothing. None of you motherfuck are telling me wrong. Because I grew up in a fucking movie theater. I grew up in a fucking movie theater.

Raisinettes. By raising that. Don't ain't raisins in there no more. They ain't fucking raisins. They still make those? I don't even know. I don't have movie theaters no more. Raisin it.

Yeah. They don't have that shit no more. Popcorn? That's in, oh my God. Oh. What did you do? Friday fucking night. My wife goes to Philly. Friday night, listen, I got to tell you guys something. I read something that people who eat alone, go to the movies alone, are very resilient.

I don't know what they're talking about. I love hanging out. Like, I was watching that Mafia show. I was telling Nick, I was watching that Joey Merlino show on Netflix. Okay. And Merlino's out with 14 fucking. guys every time. In 1980, it was him which, I was telling Jim, him and 16 fucking guys. When I was fucking 18, 25, I had 10 guys with me everywhere. You got to tell people,

don't call Lee because we have too many people to go to that Chinese restaurant. We'll fuck him up. Lee comes. We'll never get invited again like that. Not because we didn't love you, because we're already rolling deep. Right. And today at 62, I can't find one fucking guy in my neighbor to go to Bourbon Street and look at some Russian fucking snatch. Well, maybe if you invited them to a movie. No. So I'm at home. They're in Philadelphia.

I love going out by myself. Oh, it's the best. I bumped into like eight things that night. I bumped into a woman who was saying stuff to me outside while she was smoking a cigarette. And I was like predicting the words for her. And every time I go, oh, and this would happen next. And she's like, how'd you know?

You really know me. I just was talking to her. As I was walking out, she goes, you're from a TV. show. I go, no. I'm from fucking comedian. I'm a dirty comedian. She goes, no, I saw you the other night on some tea. No. And we just started talking. She was another old broad. Oh, my

God. This woman went from talking about Marlborough to talking about sex. And I'm like, what are you talking about? She's like, yeah, I love when some guy pounds my hair or something. I'm like, what the fuck? Were you at the strip club or just at a restaurant? I was at a restaurant. An Italian family fucking restaurant. I was walking to my

car. It was hysterical. No one ever says this shit to me, Joey. I go out by myself all the time. I'm fucking high as a kite now. I got 1,500 milligrams in me. I'm rolling deep. I'm smoking 45% gunpowder. 45? Yeah, they have this new gunpowder weed. It's mixed with the weed. You take three hits of that. You're fucked up. I was, I had that in me. I was fucked up. And I go home and the girl's like 45 minutes away. Like, went away home from the concert.

And I'm sitting there watching something. I'm like, man, I go for some popcorn, right? So I go upstairs and I see Jiffie Pop. Like the kind of put on the-Pop, right? Yeah. And I'm like, oh, shit, I haven't done a Jiffie Pop in 50 fucking years. That's a long time, you know. So I read the, you know, I had to go get my glasses and read it, take the top off.

And then you read the back of the top. And it tells you put it over the thing on medium and keep moving it fast. And it swirls. The thing swirls. So I'm fucking high as a guy And all of a sudden I'm like Listen I know I got problems

But I know I can make popcorn Without a hitch Especially in these things And I'm pop, pop, pap, bye, And all of a sudden It's like the little rascals cake Like it started going to Pui-Bois Not even the noises

But the one side just popped And popcorn started going And hit the wall And I'm like, ah And all of a sudden the other side Is hitting me now. Pop-pa! It's hot popcorn.

And I'm trying to shut the thing. I'm turning it around. And popcorn is everywhere. You're still trying to cook it? Huh? You're still trying to cook it? Yeah, because it's popping. It's $8 for a fucking thing.

I'm getting a ton of it. Half the half is hitting the wall. The other half is hitting the fire. And now the popcorn's on fire. Oh my God. I'm like, what the fuck? But the paper towel is on fire. Off the fucking jiffy pop.

And I'm such a fucking galvone. I am such a big. Because listen. You're eating it? Oh, yeah. Whatever it was left, I just put it in the thing. I put butter in it like a Puerto Rican heavy on the pepper. I mix it all up.

And bro, everything I bit into was one of those unfucked. Like, I had nine teeth when I started. You know what I'm saying? Now I'm down to eight fucking teeth. Meanwhile, Terry walks into this kitchen and there's eight. No, I didn't even say nothing. I just went back downstairs and sat there on the thing. And she came in and she goes, I smell something.

something burning you're not gonna want to know and she goes what did you do I tried to make popcorn she goes to microwave no what microwave I didn't see the microwave

I only saw Jiffy pop she's like I already know what happened she went upstairs she's like Joe Diaz what the fuck and I go

dog it started popping from the side it didn't even unswirl it just started popping oh what happened the mic why didn't you do a microwave popcorn

because I didn't see the fucking microwave popcorn oh I only saw it was in front of me, which was fucking jiffy pop. And I'd see, whatever, what's the name of it? Not jiffy pop. I think you're right. Yeah, whatever. I only saw the fucking jiffy pop.

And I had seen it days earlier trying to get oatmeal or something like that. And I remember there's jiffy pop in that. Like I made the fucking, you know, the correlation. Dude, that's like on 1,500 milligrams. I'm surprised you didn't burn the house down trying to make jiffy pop. And then you kept cooking it as it was exploded over your kitchen. Listen, at my age of the house burns down. If you know anything about me, Doug, I'll probably just go outside and lay down the lawn.

Lay down? Lay down? Yeah, what do you want to me to do? Yeah, I'll just scream and get a bucking. Turn the popcorn off. At this age, what ain't what am I to do? You want me to make a big deal? It's insured.

I don't think it's insured. When you burn it down making popcorn. Not because I'm suing jiffy pop because they get me defective fucking jiffy. Dude, can you imagine if I told you I made jiffy pop, you'd go off for 45 minutes about me making popcorn. But you're a fag because you put hot fudge on it or something like that. That's why. Yeah, I'm a genius.

That does sound good. Hot fudge on some popcorn? What the fuck you think of you? Listen, every time I come up here on Monday. Yeah? I say to myself, I'm going to come up here a little early and I'm going to stop at Krausers.

What's that? The fuck in my place with the chubby chick. Oh, the strawberries? Oh, okay. And get strawberries and get the boxes of chocolate. I just know that I can't stop. No. I'll get boxes for my neighbors.

If I go by the house, then I'm home. Then I'm getting that. box, you know what I'm saying? I'm one of those guys. I ain't giving you shit now. I came by where you weren't home. Let's talk about prebiotics. We've got a guest.

Let's do it. And let's make this party happen. We'll be right back. We're going to talk to you about bioma, the best. What's happening, beautiful people? Uncle Joey here. The last place you want to find something scary is in the toilet. Keep everything tip-top in the bathroom with bioma.

Biomas blend of prebiotics, probiotics, and postbiotics. helps restore a healthy microbiome. You're going to want to give bioma a try and get things sorted out down there. Listen, me, I take, I pop through those things. I'm tip-top, McGoo, you understand me? Everything is rocking, smooth, smoke comes out. Forget about it. Stop waiting for your stomach to get better on its own.

Get bioma and get it together. It's not just about smooth, regular digestion. Your gut can mess with your body. your hormone levels, energy, weight management, and even lifespan. Take 15% off your Bioma order to get started. Just click in the link in our show notes and press and code Joey. J-O-E-Y, Bioma will get you tip-top Magoo in time for the holidays before you start stuffing your face. Balance yourself out and take care of yourself.

You want to be healthy through the holidays. Trust me, you don't want to end up like Uncle Joey in the hospital for five days. So go to Bioma. Again, that's code Joey. For 15% off your order when you're clicking the link in our show notes. Happy Halloween. Ah, ah, ha, ha.

Kick this motherfucker, Neil Lee. We're back, Jack. Tonight we have my neighbor. Fucking Jimmy Florentine. You might know him from Sirius. The fucking the hard rock metal show, the metal show with fuck O and fuck E. My man,

Don James and the Eddie Trunk. What's going on, Jimmy? It's good to see you guys, man. It's great to be back up in my living up here. The memories, I haven't been up here in a while, North Bergen, Clifside Park area, lived around here, caused some major damage in this area, been to the police station, Clifside Park Police Station a bunch of times. Fucking good times up here.

Young comedy, huh? Yeah. You were a young comic living up here. Yeah. Going back and forth until the city rent was manageable back. $800 for $300 for $3. three for a two bedroom. It was me and my girlfriend and Jim Norton lived together.

So we split $800 three ways right here in Cliffside Park. It was beautiful. That is fucking crazy. You see what it looks like, man? I know. Down there, it looks like a fucking bomb hit it down there. It's crazy. But then you go two blocks down and you think you're in fucking heaven.

Yeah. It's fucking crazy. When you go to Edgewater and we walking and seeing how much that area has grown, it's, it's unbelievable. There was nothing down in. It was like the pathmark and the Alpac steakhouse and that was it. There was like and it was closed on Sundays because it blew loft shit. I remember there was no parking around by my street. I'm Riverview Place.

I come home late doing spots. So I got and they have the yellow lines. You couldn't park there. So I bought like a gray spray paint. And I spray painted it so my car would fit over the yellow where it wasn't supposed to. I'm like, I got, yeah, I couldn't find a spot of two in the morning around here. You drive around for an hour. just fill in the yellow with gray space.

Perfect. I got a spot. Do you ever get caught? No, never did. It was like two in the morning. I just sprayed a yellow until my car fit. Isn't it great when you say, fuck it?

And you're like, if I get a ticket, I get a ticket. And then you don't get a ticket. And then you don't get a ticket. And then you're like, whoof. I would have just said, hey, listen, man, I don't, you know, I didn't notice it looks like a spot. You know, your hands are silver from this, right, right? It's fucking crazy.

That for people who don't know this, when everybody was making the, descent from L.A. Everybody was going to Texas and Tennessee and Florida. I called my man Jimmy Florentine. I go, Jimmy, I was coming back, but fucking the plan got

foiled. I was going to move up to Bergen County, but something didn't want me to move to Bergen County. And I thought about where I was today for lunch. I went to my crazy brothers. He lives in Morganville. I used to go down there.

And I just, something about the area that I really liked. It was peaceful. Like, instead of staying up north, it was just fucking trees and fucking elk. And, you know, he had a pool and fucking it was sunny. You know, it was just great. And Rascals was down there. He had a couple clubs down there, two or three clubs. I would stay with him for three weeks and go to Princeton,

do Rascals Ocean, and then do Rascals and one of the other. West Orange. West Orange. You know, I loved it. So I called you and Jim, me he's responsible for luring me to fucking jersey. Everybody was going to Austin. I remember them calling me and going, hey man, we need to talk to you.

We got houses in Austin. And I'm like, that's great. I already bought a house in Jersey. Like, don't do it. Don't sign the paper. We're all going on Austin. I'm already going to Jersey. It was like one in the morning when this conversation

went down with Joe and who else, Duncan. It was a bunch of guys. We were all like fucking Joe had a three-way going over there. And he was, because all those guys during the pandemic would fucking Zoom at night. They would, that's how Zoom got big, right? They were Zooming at night to keep their fucking mind.

So they was zooming and Joe was talking to me going, yeah, I bought the first house. Tony's next. And we've gone to house for you. And I'm like, I really bought a fucking house, guys. You had a house in 10 days once you called me. I got my sister-in-law is a real estate broker. She knows the area, the schools, all that shit. At the kid.

Terry talked to her within 10 days. Yeah, we got a house. 10 days. Dude, that was a, you bought a house without seeing it. You saw it on FaceTime, but you were never inside the house. I had a friend of mine look at it, and I trusted him. I grew up with him, you know, and he knows that type of shit. That's his fucking world.

And he goes, go ahead. It's a nice piece of property, whatever. At that point, I just was happy to find something. Now, today, I wish I would have bought a different house. but I love my little house. I'm comfortable there. You know, I love that neighborhood. As much shit as I talk about,

it's boring and shit. Listen, man, I come out of that house at quarter of six mornings. Today I was out there with a hooded sweatshirt and a fucking winter jacket. With hoodies on and sweatpants. And I'm drinking coffee. And I look at those trees and shit.

There's not a noise. There's not a noise. There's times I go in the garage and get high and I come back up and I sit there and I go, when is a guard? I play the game. When is a car going to pass by? He'll be 15, 20 minutes and a car won't go by. It's like one of those Clint Eastwood movies where it's just quiet.

Yeah. No, and I remember like within like two weeks, Mercy had like four friends over the house. Oh, yeah. And you go, she had none in L.A. Nobody wants to hang out. And there's four neighbors that are her same age, go to the same school and they're hanging out.

Jimmy, it's a no-brainer. Because it wasn't, when you have a child, it's not about you anymore. It's about, so your career, if you're really real, unless I'm fucking Brad Pitt and I'm getting $82 million a movie. Why do I live there?

Why do I have to live there? I even, $82 million a movie means I could probably fly it by myself and get planes for you guys to fly behind me like that Tom Cruise movie. Like Tom Cruise movie when he was smuggling, with those dudes. You know, 82 million. Yeah, 82 fucking million.

So why are we here? It comes down to this. Quality of life for your child. First of all, the quality of life for me, I was already, I can't get comfortable in neighborhood. Lee and me ran that fucking neighbor. We knew every Mexican. We knew any donut chick.

We knew all the fucking burrito places. Big Tonys where they gave you the fruit with the cream on top. It was like, it was two. easy of a life. I already knew the weed store was next to the crowd therapy store. Come on. Come on. Not even a mile from my fucking house. How many

time? How far did you live from me, Lee? Two blocks? Only two. I would show up at Lee's and start beeping a horn. I'd be right down. And he'd come down. I'd give him one of those 200 milligram fucking tubes. You give me a tube and some Cuban fried rice and zoom off. Yeah. And I'd say you later. It was kind of fun for a little. It was fucking

fun, but after a while it was just us. And you had a, it was me, Lee, and the comedy store. And this poor seven-year-old girl that any time we went to a party, she was the only kid. Anytime we invited people over, she was the only kid. And then when she did make friends, Jesus Christ, there was a girl that locked her out of the house.

There was another girl we went over that. We went to a house and the kids started fucking crying. It was fucking unreal. All these kids are fucking defective. Because they all lived in an area, guys, where it's people spinning their wheels. That Studio City is a beautiful area, and I miss it. But it's an area where it's a bunch of guys, 40 to 50, they're spinning their wheels. They're going from show to show or just stroking themselves. I'm writing a script about the, come on.

That's four years before you see a check. You're living on a credit card, and your kids are defective. because you're putting them in school, you're putting them in events that benefit you. Do you know that if we take our kid there, the writer from bad TV goes there, we could slip them a script? That's how people think.

They start using their children as porn. And I saw it. I fucking saw it, man. And I'm like, I don't want to raise her here. I got to raise it somewhere where it's nitty-gritty. I'd like to bring it back up north here. But this is a two-bit nitty-gritty right now. Let me take it down there.

White people live, how they control themselves. I mean, she's like 13. You take them to Newark and you drop them off and pick them up on an hour. You know what I'm saying? I just remember when you moved there within like three weeks because you were taking mercy to parks. And he goes, I'm fucking suing L.A.

I had to bring my gun to the park. Look at these beautiful parks here. He said, every one of them, the shittiest park is a hundred times better than anything in L.A. He goes, what the fuck was I paying for all these years? Dogs, taxes. Not taxes. litter. I realized I was living in Studio City, California, which is supposed to be, there was paper everywhere. On the floor in front of my fucking thing. Hollywood's fucking filthy.

Hollywood Boulevard is filthy. You know, and it was, listen, guys, it wasn't that. It served its purpose. I had a child now. I had to think outside the box a little bit. And, dog, the kid, she was, she would have never played soccer. I have a friend, a dear friend. Been on the church a thousand times. I talk to him every week. And he'll talk on a Saturday. And he'll go, what's that noise? And I'm like, that's the parents.

The softball game, he goes, dog. I'm at my son's baseball game. The parents sit apart. And they all have things in their ears. You know, nobody talks. Why do you sign your kid up for baseball? Why don't you? It's a community thing.

You know what I have now? And yeah, my wife, daughter went to a fucking football game on Sunday, the 12 you. You know, like where hillbillies? Like, yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like on a Sunday, where are you going? The county game. Yeah. What are you crazy? I'm like

strawberry shortcake. I go to church. I go home. I want to eat some ass. No, I don't know. We're probably a community now. But that's what kids need to grow up in. He was turning into a jersey. Like, she talks shit to me constantly. Constantly. Constantly. You have to.

Constantly. You know, that was always my biggest fear of moving back to the suburbs. I lived up here, North, Bergen, you know, area and stuff, work, you know, right in the city here. And then when I got married and had a kid, I got to go, I got to go back to the suburbs and make sure this kid has a lawn and friends and all the shit. And then I was like, man, I'm going to have to hang out with these parents. It's going to be awful. It's the greatest thing.

Joe, you were over my house yesterday, like three of the parents where all these dads. They're awesome. And I was torching that dude telling cocaine stories. Oh, yeah, yeah. He was loving it. He was loving it. Talking about pussy and this. Yeah. You don't think, because, like, I understand about L.A. But if I'm being honest, if I ever have a kid, I want to raise that. I grew up in the suburbs, and it is a great life.

I'm not saying anything bad about it. But I always wanted to live in the city. As a kid, there's just so much available to you. Like, did you ever think about raising them in the city? No. No? It's great until you're walking your kid in the park. and a rat bites him in the ankle.

I guess, yeah. There's no air. It's good to show your kid that you're here till about six or seven, and then you'll think to yourself too. This ain't no way to live with a kid. It's a nice dream. It's like L.A.

It's a nice dream for you to be part of a community, but you're just a part of people that they don't have a fucking life. They all do the same thing. It's just to be cool. it's just a and I'm not saying that's New York City

Right Yeah listen I grew up in the city so I was 10 Look at me I came out okay Yeah But I lived in the city city Right You know

And I lived up to Harlem on the weekends And I did kinky shit And then when I was 10 I moved to North Bergen, New Jersey Which is like being in the city In those days Right I see that You were a hop-skipping a jump

And that's what I'm trying to say At one point The kids got to go to high school when the kid's gone. That's not. That's, you spend an 82,000 a month to live like a fucking Dumbar each to be who, to be who? Right. And, you know, his, you know, kid wants to hang out with somebody.

He's got to take a subway down the third street to go hang out. And then you got to hang, oh, you're going to hang out. Why they hang out are you going to take the subway back? They go pick her back up. You know, that's a nightmare. You live in the suburbs. They just get dropped off. They're hanging in your basement.

They're all sleeping over. it's about the kids. You can hang in the city. Most people hang in New York when they have a baby to like three or four. And then when it comes to the kid and guard

in the first grade, they move outside the city. Once they see a stabbing on the subway or somebody gets shot at the bodega. We love the bodega on the neighborhood.

They have coffee. You keep buying that shit. You keep buying that shit. And one day you do the fucking math. And you cannot be that stupid. You know, when you're a publisher, like John Lennon, you know, when you're a fucking music publisher,

like if you write your music and perform it and own it, that's paper. And one day you go, you know what? What are these people getting for their catalogs now? Hundreds of millions? 250, 300 million to sell 70% of it. All right. You get that. You pay your taxes.

That's it. You look at that and you go, how long do I have on the planet Earth? What am I going to do with that money? Okay, let's, I got kids. over the years I put them away. You know, I put away money. This is just choosing how I die type money. Guess what, Lee?

Guess what, motherfucker? What? I'm moving to Manhattan. Oh, yeah. You understand me? With that $200 million because it doesn't matter. My kids ate, my wife's happy. I got a mistress.

I got an 18-year-old chick that plays the bongos in Thailand. Do you know what I send out of checks every month? You know, it doesn't matter. But to really be, it's weird when you look at value. Okay. Especially in today's world. And the most important word that I never read was to about 10 years ago. I don't want to sound like other people.

Was the word quality of life. How are you really fucking living? You have to take two subways for this and then you got to get out. Listen, the ferry's nice in September. I want to see you out there in January. Yeah. Waiting for that, yeah. Waiting for that fairy.

This is a heavy life. Look, I don't want to drive around with, you know, spray paint in my car looking for a spot at night anymore. I did that. I got a driveway. I forgot about it when I'm looking for a spot up here tonight. I'm like, I have a fucking, I forgot I have a driveway. I don't have to squeeze in spots up here and shit too.

You know, that's how, you know, just it, you'll get it at some point. Well, see, I mean, I don't, I don't, I don't know. The thing that I like about it is there's all I can't tell you how I was bored in the suburbs and there's just always something to do You're exposed to so much as a kid like even like even up in like the city What are you what are you looking at here we go? You're not you're convinced she's pregnant. She's not pregnant I didn't say anything Yes you every week every time I didn't say anything that she's pregnant with a you walk in here with a fucking die

You know one minute we're talking football the next minute you just drop on You're getting married, you know what I'm saying? I know. Right around the fucking Christian holiday and shit. Yeah, it's weird. Yeah. Yeah. And now you're trying to sell me on having a kid in New York.

This ain't the Lee I know. You're a fucking Jew, okay? I walked in, Lee had a glow. I'm like, what the fuck's up? Yeah, all of a sudden now. Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to raise a kid in New York. Yeah, fuck you.

That's great. He's asking if you get bitten the ankle by a rat. Don't you ever hear about the rat problem. The rats hide from you. The rats, they hide from you. Wait, do you have a kid. They got that different. vision.

I was wondering why you were asking if I have any old baby clothes. Yeah. What was that all about? Oh, I'm trying to get it for free. Poor bastard. I want to raise my kid in the city. That's great.

I've always wanted to. Listen, I love to, too. I would love to, too. But the first time you go to Jersey and you look around, it's a no-brainer. First time you go to Alpine and you go to Anglewood Cliffs. And you see how those

fucking gangsters live, where Eddie Murphy lives and Whitney Houston live. And you're like, I want to be in this city. I got to go up to 80 to get my car. And I got to pay rent for my car with my child. And I got a car seat. Bring it down four flights of stairs, Mr. Genius. And come on.

It's a no fucking, that's why they moved there. Right. Even Mike Tyson and everybody, right there. Like the Knicks. The Nets, the Yankees. You think they live in that hell? For two or three years until the accountant goes, listen, listen, G, money. Right across that wall, it's a lot cheaper.

And that paper's a lot, a little better. And taxes, just not much, but you want space for your child. Right. All these fucking things. Look at the fucking schools in New York. What are you got teaching these kids? Even these fucking private schools in New York. You know, it's a fucking nightmare.

It's a fucking nightmare. I'm sure it is. And I appreciate what you're coming from. Isn't it a nightmare everywhere, though? Yes and no. But you have to choose your fucking nightmare. nightmare. Right. That's where you come in and go and find. Okay, I'm going to die slowly, but I'm going to choose my fucking poison here. And if my poison is going to be, listen, I have a friend

that lives in Atlantic City and drives to this city five days a week. That's two and a half hours. At one point, one way or two ways? One way. Do the fucking math. At one point, am I driving and I just take the gun. Right at the fucking, where it says easy toll, right there. Boom! Come on, man. Yeah. Fuck that.

I love to rock and roll. Come on. I got rock and roll in my blood. But I'm also an old, hey, how you doing? I'm also an old fucking man. And I know my timing. And I don't have that hour. Right.

Just my back goes kaput. I could throw, yesterday. I was throwing kettlebells. Just yesterday. I was doing deadlift. I did a deadlift that was. so heavy, I had to go home a nap for two hours. It jolted my system.

I thought I was putting, oh, 25s? Right. I put 2.45s. Oh, shit. And I was warmed up and everything. I went, fooom, and I lift first one. I was like, oh, God. Even my knee was shaking. I went back down. I ended up doing three of them. I was like, that's good for the... I'd hold on to the bike for a minute. You did three of everyone walked right to the car?

No, no, no, I did three. And then I went home and did some shit to get my breath back. And then I jumped on the light kettlebell. I did 15 of those and I was like that's good I've been at the hospital a week what am I hercules all of a sudden I had a milkshake or two with fucking with creatine in it who am I you know what I'm saying right I gotta build it up I have a heart attack

fucking craziness I don't I don't know what the fuck I want like that's the thing is like just get married I'm working on it he's one of these fucking Jews that'll drive you crazy he's gonna shoot himself one day you think yeah talking about, right.

Because his mind, they'll go, if I give him the same edible that mercy ate, he'll go with a hundred ways like that. Because he's already thinking about all this shit. He's got to think about as being funny. That's it. He's getting married. She's in charge of all that. You got to fit into the tuxedo and show up.

That's going to be another one. I hope she's not going for a fitting next week because that's not going to be Bueno by the time you get to that thing. No, that's why. That's why I've been good. Yeah, I've been good. I've been good. I have.

I saw that. before. He just said three hot dogs. One hot dog, god damn it. Don't rhyme me out. One hot dog. I did have three pieces of bread. I was trying to get one. I can't wait to see in that tuxedo. With a button. With the fucking button holding on with a dowali on one side.

There's going to be a monkey at the wedding? Anything like that? Two of them. Oh, dude, I got surprises for you at the wedding. I'm so excited. I have stuff at the wedding just to piss you off. We're having a whole hummus table. I'm doing a lot of shit at the wedding. just to get you. I bumped into somebody yesterday. I have to give me your number. Okay.

Because they were at the table with us at the Halloween party. And they're almost as retarded as you are. They're getting married on Sunday to 28th. Of December? Oh, I wouldn't do that. First of all, Saturday is a good day. And you know, that's the best week of the goddamn. I know it's close to cry.

What am I asked for? 27th is bowl games. Right. What bowl? Who, when do you watch a ball? I've known you for 15 years. You've not watched one single bowl game.

If you're getting married on that day, I'm watching everyone. People, people keep asking, oh, I'm going to have a TV there. Do you have surprises for me? I do. You forget that my dear friend and he'll be the fucking witness, went, rent to the room, took a TV from the room,

asked the custodian for an extension cord, and put the TV at the wedding table to watch Nebraska, Colorado. Okay? At the divorce, my wife brought it up. His animal will ruin our wedding. He put a TV at the wedding table and he met Nebraska.

Well, yeah, well, first of all... I was an idiot. I got married September 9th, 89. That's the beginning of the football season. Go fuck yourself. But you don't like college football. Doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.

You're intruding in somebody else. is time. Yeah. There's guys out there going, a Jewish family. Not one person watches college football. What, Jews?

What you're going to have Jews and Indians? I can't wait to see what that place smells like at the end of the night. You know exactly. It's like, montemals and curry.

You know exactly what he's going to fucking do wally fucking cookies. Oh my God. It's going to be the best. And comics are getting married on Sundays because all the comics are working Friday Saturday. I'm going to get a job that man.

I got a big fucking job. All right. I'm doing a dojo. You want to be married. be on the show? No, I'm doing like 10 shows. People keep asking me if you're coming and I'm like, I'll find out that day. You'll find out that day. Because you want me to say the truth? You fucked up.

How did I fuck up? Because my wife wanted to go away this Christmas. It's her birthday on the 29th. So she wanted to come back after her birthday for New Year's. So we had two or three days. That's what you're fucking dealing with right now. If you guys can't make it, that's cool. I don't want to hurt your feelings, but who would have Fuck gets married that weekend, Lee.

Apparently two people in your life. You didn't consult with us. You didn't fucking come to the boys. I got to ask you what day to get married? Yeah. Consult with us. April is when people get fucking married. Right at the beginning of baseball season

because nobody cares about the Yankees of baseball yet. The only thing that's playing is basketball. They're in the playoffs. I don't look at the sports schedule when I'm looking to get married. Everybody should. Trust me. That's a weird week in between Christmas and New Year's too.

It's the best week of the year. Yeah, but a lot of people are out of town. And that's the best. They're trying. Oh, it's not. Sometimes are rough. Some of these kids not getting a gift because they got to go to your fucking wedding on the 27th. Whose kid is not getting a gift because they have to go to the way?

Everyone lives around here. That's what I'm saying to you. You pick the time of the year that's rough. New Year's is two days later. You understand me? At least get married on New Year's if you're going to keep me out. You and I both know, I'd get yelled at 8,000 more times for that. Get married at six and get everybody out of there by nine and go do Wally at your own fucking house.

You know what I'm saying? Go jump up at a house. Why don't you get married? I can't those and play the organ. Why don't you get married on the Chinese New Year? Yeah. When's that? I don't know.

Me either. Oh, my God. And there was no day that would work for you. The only day that would work would be like February 44th. No, no, no. You're my brother. I love you the fucking dead. I love you too.

But again, Lee. Again, when you have family, you sit everybody down and you go, this is what's going on in my world right now. What do I do? And you cannot get married. It's a bad time. It's two days after Christmas. And you're also obsessed with this open bar, which we're going to have, but you don't even drink. You have all these opinions about things that doesn't matter to you.

Because I want to people to understand. You're taking people out of a night for you. What are you doing December 27th? It doesn't matter. You don't do shit December 27th. You're home scratching my boss. I don't want to be surrounded by a bunch of foreigners jumping up and down. You know what I'm saying?

Smelling like eggs. You know what I'm saying? If I could be blunt with you. I know the things I want to do and that in on my list. We all have a bucket list. I'm 62 years old. I've seen it all.

Unless she's going to have some Indian chicks taking fucking flames out of that pussy with the little dots on their head. I'm in. But, you know, I love you to death. But who the fuck does the 27th? I'm going to show you something. I'm going to show you something.

I'm going to show you something. I just found the other day. And this is why I just don't understand people. I'm a fucking criminal, man. But I'm a different fucking type of criminal. I don't know. Somebody called me soft a couple weeks ago. They were like, you know what, man?

You're a little on the soft side. I was like, you know what I went through in my life? You'd have called me soft, you stupid motherfucker. How many people are going to be at the wedding? Like 80, 80 or 100? Not much. What do you mean? Oh, there's like nothing.

I'm getting yelled at every day by my entire family. We have to invite cousins who I've never met to the wedding. Oh, that's... How many are you going to be your family? Like half and a half. Okay. Somebody sent me, they found an invitation to my wedding. Oh.

Yeah. And I sat and I looked at the other day, and I'm like, you know, at the time, I sacrificed because you get married to get gifts. I sacrificed all the gifts. And if anybody could have used a gift at that time, it was me. I was living in a single apartment with 10 fucking cats.

Oh, the second wedding. Okay. I thought you meant the Colorado. wedding. And I remember calling her up and going, listen, we're going to get married, we're going to do this. But she was very smart. She goes, I got to get this motherfucker while he's done. Because she knows that I changed my mind like the fucking wind. So she came home. We started talking about. I called her dad. And we both settled on one thing. We both went for what we both didn't like about weddings. and that was women want to get married

and they don't think about anybody but themselves. Okay, not the dress coat. I'm not talking about no stupid dress code because I go to a wedding dress how the fuck I want to. If I got to sit here for three hours, I'm going with sweats and sneakers. I don't really give a fuck about you what you're a dress coat. Who has a dress?

I'm not, we don't have a dress coat. It's not the dress coat. It's just the... Who's the best man? No, we don't know. It's going to be a 20-minute ceremony, no religion, and it's going to be a party after. That's it.

You know, and me and my wife talked about him. We go, how are we going to do this? Do we want to go to Tennessee? Do I want to come back to Jersey? I'm a felon. I want to come back here and have a wedding. It's got all them beans and kiss me and shit. So we both look at each other.

We go, what works? I'm a comic, man. I know that no comic is going to be there on a fucking Saturday. I know this. My life is comics. I don't talk to nobody. So I got married on a Wednesday before Thanksgiving. And I told people, don't bring a gift

because I didn't want to impose on anybody. When I invite you to a wedding, it's three hours out of your night, and I'm imposing on you. And I'm not saying you. This is how I feel about all these fucking things. It's been years. At least I'm not having a vegan wedding like Felipe.

Listen, I'm not talking about you, brother. I get it. I'm talking about anybody in general because it went from us going to Woodbridge. When you, 80s, 90s, you went to Woodbridge. Yeah. How many times you go to Woodbridge? What's the name of that fucking joint that has 20 weddings at once and fucking woodb...

What? The siesta. Yeah. That's where you went. Everybody went there. And I can live with that on a Saturday, Friday night they had a bathroom party. You snorted a Coke. You rolled in there fucked up.

Everybody knew the rules. At every wedding you went in those days, parents were crying. All the women were crying. I can't believe he did it again. He promised. Not at the wedding. you. You bought this fucking thing. You bought this line

that this guy was not going to fucking... I remember they had a wedding in North Mergin and they robbed the purse. They robbed the purse by Veneerries across the streets. Who's they? They used to be a little wedding home. I mean, I was in that night. They robbed the purse. I mean, it's just

and I always said to myself, but then I got the weirdest fucking thing. I got to invite Jimmy Florentine from a girl that was hot and wanted to get hot So she got fake tits. I told the story. And she got fake tits in September.

She debuted him. They were beautiful. And she was younger than me. I couldn't even score. I was a bum living on the Ralphie Mae's floor. She lived upstairs. By this time, I had met Terry. I moved in with Terry.

And one night she gives me an invite in the mail. Somebody called me. They go, Lori wants your address. And I saw, and I looked at this. And as much as I love Lori, I had to say something to her. Her wedding was December, New Year's Day, but she wanted you to fly to Mexico on December 26. I was fucking so insulted.

Like I'm like, and you had to stay till the fourth. I didn't tell you that yet. So nine days or something. For you to, that's not fair to me. No. The 26, I don't know about you, but on the 26th, 90% of people in this country are going to have money, rabbit is. Think about it.

We're going to have bun, not me. But there's a lot of Americans that are going to have bunny rabbit ears. Right. A lot of Americans right now working hand to mine. I'm not saying you, Lee. I get it. But I'm talking about this shit that you have to think about this. You know, I don't know. I don't fucking know. I really want to

go to your wedding. You're my brother. I really want to go to your wedding. But like I said, my wife wanted to get the fuck out of here this year. And not go to Tennessee. I don't want to put up with that shit again with the organs. Somewhere, no. No, no. somewhere close. You don't want to get lost during the holidays either.

I don't want to be that assort at the plane. We're here for three days. There's a snowstorm. If you can't make it, it's cool. You got to be back here by the 26th or the 26th or the 26th. I was going to say there's no way you're going to be at the airports around you, every year. We never left L.A. during Christmas specifically because I'm not going to the goddamn airport. I got a fucking child.

Okay. And she wants to get the fucking. Where else do you want to be in around Christmas time than New York? Beach. With Jews? With Cubans. Okay. And I'll tell you what? Just so you motherfuckers know. Because if you don't know now you know. Ready? JSX. Now flies out of New York City.

And they fly direct to Miami. Baboon for $380 fucking dollars or something like that. So if you're stuck, you don't have to go to Newark no more. It's a little airport in New York City. Look it up on your website. They just started fucking doing it. Nice. No. You don't have to go to what in the city, motherfucker. Wow.

NYC. They're flying direct. Only like two or three fucking places. But that's where they're starting. They got a lease there until next June or something like that. I'm praying that they go to Tennessee, so I go to Tennessee with them. You know what I'm saying? JSX, that's how white people travel. All right?

And it don't cost you an arm and a fucking leg. You pull up with your car, they sense you, you go on the fucking thing. It's only 34 people on the plane. and the planes are halfway, they're halfway fucking full. Three times I've flown. Everybody flies in Vegas to fucking California, Burbank. That shit, southwest, that's, yeah, that's ice people.

It's, it's in New York. Maybe that was the place where Epstein's plane was going out, going down to Palm Beach. Because I was going out of New York. I don't even think that was going out of Tito Borough. I don't know what the fuck is doing. I don't know about that world. I know.

No, do I want to know? That doesn't involve me. To be honest, I was surprised that you were even considering coming. Joey always goes away between Christmas and New Year's. Never once. Never once has he gone away. In Jersey, right, you have, right? Then you go to Tennessee a couple times.

I went to Tennessee one time, but I came home the next day. Right, yeah. Exactly. That's why, that's like, I'm doing it in right in the city. It's going to be super easy. There's tons of parking nearby. Don't tell what people comes. I'm not.

I'm not. You're going to get mugged before. That's what I'm not. busy as we get mugged with a tuxedo. All in one. All in one. Listen, if you call me and say you got beat up with a tuxedo. Oh, that's going to be you.

I would be so fucking happy. Oh, thank you so much. Oh, my God. I would be fucking. I'd be blowing. This wedding is going to be so easy. It's all in one place. It's going to be easy.

It's nothing but good food. There are a couple things to piss you off, which is going to just, like, even if you're not there, I just know. There's a lot of foreign. So I understand. The wake between, Chris. Oh, shoes are mandatory. No.

Yeah. We have sandals for you out the door. No. Covered shoes. Not the open feet. Not the open feet. You're killing me. The week between Christmas and New Year's is like the busiest week in New York City.

You try to go in New York those days if you're driving hour wait at each tunnel. Everybody's coming to New York. It's all tourists between that with that week. The city is packed. I'll take an Uber to his wedding. I'll take an Uber to the, I'll drive up to Edgewater. We'll always. I'll be out there with those penguins out there freezing.

And that's what I'll do. I'll shoot right over. I'll go over, take like a gentleman. I'll sit on the fucking thing. And once I land in New York City, I take an Uber, straight to your little fucking entourage party over there. Oh, I can't.

I'm going to talk to the in-laws and have them do all of the Indian stuff. We're going to put like Hannah on your arm. Listen to me. That's when I walk out. And I tipped away and I go, good night. And you know me, dog. I ain't much into saying goodbyes. You'll be sitting in the middle of Diwali.

There's a Mantum. And I'll be in my... Devali's right now. I don't know. First of all, Sal Mubarak told my Indian people. Listen, Samarka. I'll be on the way back to the ferry. I showed up. I did my job.

There you go. Leave the envelope and that's all that matters. What envelope? December 27. I'm showing up tapped. I got bunny rabbit ears. You know what I'm saying? No, we got security at the door, making sure you've got to go to a little.

You're going to have fucking curry and shit, goat. There might even be live animals there like coming to America. What the fuck out of here? We're going to kill an animal right at it. Roasted right on the street. It's going to be great. It was just, I don't know. It was just, it was just.

Listen, man, I lived into suburbs in L.A. Those weren't suburbs. They would just make-believe houses with people with fucking dreams. with the wrong intentions. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Because that's why they're lost. They got dreams,

but they got the wrong fucking intentions. They're trying to do it to hang out with Billy Idol and jump up and down with people at premieres and shit like that. I just wanted to not be a felon, make money, and get the fuck out of it. And I like it here. I really do.

I like, it took me a little time to adjust. I went through some anxiety. I went through some mental issues. You know what I'm saying? But I started eating edibles again and everything started working out my life. When did you stop eating edibles? I took a little breather there for a while.

You did not for like, what, an hour? You always say, oh, we're taking a break, and then I call you six minutes later and you have edibles. I'm bored. That's what you do when you're boredly. You fucking get, like Saturday night, I talked to somebody, and if I had heroin,

I would have done it Saturday night. Just a little taste. Right. Just to get me out of the house and go somewhere for a drive and maybe cut somebody off on the nine and something like that. What do your friends think of Joey?

Like when he comes over for football and then he leaves. Well, first of all, my one friend, he didn't even, Joey gave him in Edipal last Super Bowl. He didn't even make kickoff. He had to call his wife to get him to drive him home. He's been there every year, 12 years in a row. Kickoff was 637. By 610, he was out cold.

His wife had to pick him up. He didn't even make kickoff. Oh. What did the wife think? Was the wife pissed off? No, she knows. And then my older brother, his wife had to tell him. 65. He's like, listen, you can't be doing that Joey Diaz stuff. You're, you're staggering around.

You're almost falling down the stairs. What are you doing? You're not 20 years old anymore. My God. Yeah, Joe. Fucked up. The other guy, Costco. Yeah. I fucked him up one day. Opening day you did. Yeah, he just laid down. He laid down on the floor. He didn't move for like to the, it was through a one o'clock game, the four o'clock game and the night game started. He got up the first quarter. He was down for like seven hours. And the first season, Jimmy cut a deal with me.

He goes, just bring goodies for the guys. Don't, don't, don't, don't worry about anything else. So I would bring gadgets and they would lose their fucking minds. And there was one guy. I kept putting those ABX tablets in his fucking soda and his beer. Oh, yeah. Like 10 of them, they would. Because he came over to first week, goes, that guy's a fucking problem.

He needs to calm down. I'm going to dose him next week. We need some peace in this basement, and he fucking was dosing him. Oh. Listen, man, I hadn't been, you got to remember some. What Jimmy does on Sundays is a forgotten fucking thing. Because in L.A., people did it, but think about it. When I first got to L.A., it was that manager that did it.

That had the house on Sundays. Yeah. They played wiffle ball or something. Yeah, like everything was fake. But they were all trying to run. run jokes by the guy and shit like that. I never showed up. And then there was somebody else who did it. But he was

a celebrity. So you had to go over there. And Kimmel used to do it too. Jimmy Kimmel used to do it too. Yeah, I never hung out with that fucking freak. You know, I don't hang out with those creepy people and shit. Right. But, yeah, you know, there was somebody else who did it. But then I went to your house that first Sunday

and I was blown the fuck away. Because nobody gave a fuck. racial slurs that you think she sucks dick you know like every announcer she's dead

and they got three TVs going like Puerto Ricans one over the bar the big one and now they got a little one down below so you can catch that third game

I mean you can't write this shit sandwiches pizzas cookies Kentucky fried chicken every week is a new disaster

every week I go home shit in blood white castles fucking John brings McDonald's Cheeseburgers, 50 of them, you're going to eat one. McDonald's has a special thing in them that once you buy them, it's not pulling in.

They don't get you to pull in. It's once somebody buys them and says, I brought McDonald's for everybody. You're like, I'm not going to eat those. And after about an hour, you're like, fuck, I'll take a Big Mac. And you feel bad about yourself, but it ain't that bad. And at least you didn't drive into the driveway. Right.

You know what I'm saying? Nobody caught you on a, they have a bunch of, They have a bunch of surveillance pictures of Lee in the old days with a mustache with Chinese eyes and shit. Me, you want that cheeseburger. Yeah, it's like he brings off like 50. I'm the first week. That's awesome. I warned Joe.

I said, Joey, there's a couple guys that are out of control. He goes, I grew up with guys. Don't worry. It would be fine, man. They could say whatever they want. I remember you left and I walked you to the car and I go, you have a good time. He goes, he turns right. He goes, I haven't seen motherfuckers like that in 50 years.

All those guys are. dead raw raw right it was raw down there was raw in the second week a guy came out of bathroom naked what he chased Joey got him so fucked up he got naked and was chasing Joey around the basement

naked yeah Baltimore running oh yeah I have a picture of his ass on my phone till this day I love him he's Jewish he's fucking a trip you met him oh yeah oh there was that guy yeah crazy and then I remember you said to

You called Rogan like a few weeks after you're here. He goes, I was just in Jimmy Florentine's basement. A 56-year-old man just chased me around the basement naked. This is where I need to be, Joe. I'm around my people. It was such a fucking, you know, you go to these comedy football. Like I never went to comedy anything because everybody's trying to have funny everyone. Yeah.

I don't want to hear jokes. I'm going to come see the fucking football game. I want to hear jokes. I'll go for your jokes. You know, you just want to be natural. And that's why your house is very natural. In fact, I don't say dick. I go off for a little while.

I fart. Because I'm the king of the farts. I'll fart by people and shit. I'll blow their fucking wigs off. That's great. You have a couple of those McDonald's cheeseburgers and then just fart? No, no, no, no, no. No.

Those McDonald's cheeseburgers sit through your fucking stomach. You blow those out of your ass way later when you least expected. When I did those deadlifts, those deadlifts, the first one, when I put a down dog, I had to walk over and all of some, I smelled something. Oh, my God.

Whatever was in my stomach for two weeks, it's starting to come out right now. And then I started doing fucking on the pull, you know how to have the bar? Yeah. You push up the symmetric bar. I started doing sets of ten. And I saw a guy walk behind me,

and he started looking around one of those Sunday guys with the thick muster. in the glasses. I could smell it. It was pure shit. It was pure shit. I had about six minutes left in the workout. I did those kettlebell swings,

a couple yoga fucking stretches, and I got in that car, and I zoomed home because it came out in one chunk. You understand me? I didn't have to wipe it. He just came out like a fucking dragon. And with that, Draft Kings wants to talk to you about the NBA season.

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Limited time offer. See terms at pick6.draftkings.com slash promos. We're back, Jack! You know, Jimmy? You know what the best thing about that? I'm happy to be back in Jersey. Like, I'm really happy to be back in Jersey. Like, now I'm enjoying Jersey for, like, when I first lived in Jersey, I didn't leave this area.

You know, I didn't leave this far. This is it, Jack. This was as good as it got. This was a utopia. But now I get to see other parts of Jersey and I go to these different places like we went to a softball game in Newark. And George was telling me that Belmont Tavern was over there. You know, that's like an historic fucking restaurant. You know, they got great little places like that. Listen, everything I was going to do in New York City, I did already. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. I went to the best concerts. I went to the best concerts. I went to the best. best fucking nick games. I went to see the Rangers and the Islanders on like a Thursday night a fucking, you know, what bands didn't I go see? What bands didn't I see that was small in a little place? I saw a fucking prince at a little fucking place. One of those ritses with fucking Sheila E. With 20 bucks, that'll never happen again. Like shit like that. So in my world, like, what used to I have in the city? I go over there. I went over there, summer, this summer, when I got a hotel room with my wife,

in Manhattan. And it was great. I liked the park. But that's not the city I remember. I like it, but it's fucking quiet. It's quiet guys. It's fucking quiet on a Friday night. Unless you go to the village or, you know, by the comedy clubs or something like that. Yeah, she had an oldie outgrow it too. You're not growing after. What are we going to do? They go to a club at 62 and make believe them cool? You know, I'm over here with Leah, VIP.

I'm always at the VIP. You know where I went this summer? Yeah. I've never been a big concert guy, but I went to see a concert at Jones Beach on Long Island. That shit was cool. Right on the beach. Oh, yeah, that's a good spot. And they had the comfortable chair.

It was a great experience. What you say? Googood dolls. Yeah. That was her thing. But I don't know anything about the band, but the place, it was literally right on the ocean. It was cool as fog. Yeah.

I know you don't like it. I don't like him either. That's fine. Lee, sometimes. Don't talk about those things. Listen, you want to go see Billy Island. Don't talk about those things. I didn't go see Billy Island.

Yes, you did. Oh, when? Sometime in LA, you didn't go? No, why would I go to fucking... This is what I'm saying. Retro-in. No, if your daughter wants to go see a Billy Elish or a Taylor Swift, as a dad, you take them.

Right. You know, to go to Google dolls without any kids involved? I'm just saying. They're like 80 years old. They're your guys' age. I don't know. Sit there and hold her and make-believe. Like, you know, that fucking.

couple from that got busted. You know what I'm saying? That was us, yeah. But it was cool. I've never done anything like that. New York has a ton of cool things. I'm not saying that. What I'm saying that for my demographic and for what I'm into right now,

there's no use for it anymore. I like that. It's that. It's that. It's right. It's right there. It's right there. If I want to get to it, there's a thousand ways to get into the city. Helicopter jet. Fucking. I can even find two Japs they'll take you over there with those rickshaws you know what I'm saying in the fucking high handicap lane this is New York City dog they'll get you in there

you've been obsessed with rickshaws for the entire you have to get a rickshaw this year I got a driver and that's rough right now because people got sensitive feet you can't just do a rickshaw with sneakers on why because that's not tradition I want people want to see you run on the fucking on route three with fuck I'm out running outrun that fuck right off that ramp that little Japanese guy with a bowl of rice me whipping him go go

Chino Holy shit anyway thanks for fucking making this now this podcast definitely gonna be 25 and over what did I say I said I went to Jones Beach to see a concert

you're the one talking about Japanese guys with those shoes for a reason to Jones Beach to see you know maybe you get to Google dolls to play your wedding I would try to They're fucking expensive. What is the song you're playing at the wedding? Come on.

Yeah, what's the name? What's that their song? I don't know. I don't know shit about Google. Come on. Come on. Off it up. I have no idea what fucking song we're playing.

They just put a gunty head. All right. There's a song we're listening to some fucking people going to come on. Oh yeah. We're having an Indian band. What's the wedding song going to be? Your wedding song? I have no idea.

Come on, you know. I don't. So you don't have any saying. Come on. I don't give a shit about music. Go for stranglehold. Stranglehold? I don't think that's a

That doesn't seem like a wedding song. Can't worry about it. Just fucking argue from the gate. I'm not getting married unless Ted shows up. You know what I'm saying? I think the Indians will love Ted Nudgeon. I think the Indians, whatever,

the Indians and the Jews would love a Ted Nudgeon. The more Indians you say, the less chances I'm going to show up. Somebody better out of picket store at all these Indians something. Because I'm going to hit the number that night. You know what I'm saying? I'm gonna hit 604.

You're gonna let those Indians know. Dude, we're not even having a sign seats except for you. I'm putting you in the middle of all the Indians side. No, you're not. Because right there is why I disappear. I'm gonna take like a hat. Just so you know, I'm like Hannibal Lecter that night.

I'm just gonna leave a little hat, maybe even spark a joint and leave it there, have burnt. So you see the smoking. Like, smoke. Jesus. We're having almost no dancing at the wedding.

They're going to lift us up in the chairs for the Jews, have like one dance, and that's it. That's not happening. What do you mean? What's not? You have to lift me up. You have to lift me up. You have to lift me up.

Listen, that's not happening. I got a bad back. You know what I'm saying? Look what happened. I did the squats the other day. Yeah, I don't need that in my life. It's hysterical. What's wrong with these fucking people?

I need this in my life. You got to do a chair? You have to. The bed's the only reason I'm going to. They meant. That chair. That chair is breaking, dog. Oh, yeah.

We're going to be a reinforced chair. And I'm in on the break. I'm suing too. I'm suing sign. They're going to be lawyers, Indians. Everybody's there. Everybody's going to be there. Dog, if you got hurt that wedding, that's going to be tremendous.

They got lawyers and half those fucking Indians, the doctor's going to be great. Rubbing your feet and shit. And pharmacists. And pharmacists. Yeah. I got you covered from A to Z. All right. One of them better have been some vikas.

You're going to break the glass too, stepping the glass and breaking. Fuck you, I'm going to slip on. Oh, fucking weird. We're suing. We're doing everything. We're doing everything. Holy shit, dude.

Are you going to get high before your wedding? Are you going to take one at a ball? I know he's going to try to get me to get high. Who? What are you going to be high during his wedding or before doing the vows and stuff? You've got to take one during the day. Look at him. If he gets married, he'll get a beat.

He'll get beat up at the wedding. We'll get thrown out. Well, who did this to you? beat me up. Who did this to you? This is a new one. Can you imagine if this motherfucker goes through the weather? He's 100 pounds.

You remember the night? You remember the night he was front of the camera like this? He was just going from side to side like a fucking pinball machine. What here? When he did he $500 million? It wasn't $500. Yes, it was. It was 110.

Go back to the tape. It's a 500. You always, it's just 500 milligrams. Wait, wait. Let's put a fucking. No, I got to drive back to Massachusetts. That's okay. You need a little driving.

It won't kick in. like a half hour. Yes, it will, and I have a four-hour drive. This is a squirder. This is $150. A squirder. Yeah, this is a good one. I'll take whatever you want next week. I can't take any of the night. What are you going to take one the day of your wedding, though, before? Probably a little something.

Already he's come back. I'll take one next week. Yeah, I got to drive back to Massachusetts. What an embarrassment. Unbelievable. Oh, my God. Un-fucking believable. Meanwhile, your car is 8,000 dent. It's always in the fucking shop. Because you keep taking those things, and you drive by sound and see what

happens? What's I got to do with the price eggs? What do you mean? What does it got to do? You don't even take a nibble. You know what I'm saying? What nibble?

You let a man. How much I take, even if I took a nibble, I'd get yelled at for the low nibble. Something for the doctor, something. What doctor? Jesus Christ. Something to make the right go a little easier. Does he like antagonize your friends or is he nice to your friends?

No, I mean, you know, they just take them. Yeah. They go, okay, no problem. I'll take it. There's 15 years and me digging it. And no matter how much I take, it's never enough. You believe this? This is every Monday.

Oh, my God. A story in a half. What story? I got to drive. I'll take it next week. Right. There was a time right there. A few months ago, Lee stayed over.

He didn't even make it to the hotel around the corner. He passed out of your house, didn't he? You gave him something. Oh, yeah. He didn't even make it to the hotel to Hampton Inn. Oh, that's all the time. No, no, no. That was one time.

I forgot about that. Yeah. That was funny. I came over and you I think it was like during like the time when I was like on the deep in the diet had nothing you gave me edibles and mushrooms I had a hotel room and didn't make it to the hotel

I didn't even I walked in He walked in the saw eye with a piece of pizza Oh yeah There's a Chinese woman working mine the whole time She hated me the whole time And Lee walked past it and then walked back And he opened up the pizza and he's like You want a piece

She's like are you fucking crazy He told me the next moment When they hate you over there Oh, they hate me. Because I was there like 18 times. And there's one woman. I've never had anyone at a whole. I was high as fuck.

It was the first time I came to visit you. Steve Simone got the place I was this weekend. He got a tomato pie. And yeah, I was being a gentleman offering it. And yeah, looking back on it, I was slurring my words and fucked up. So I can understand why she didn't want some pizza. And she was working there the whole time. She hated me every time I came to that hotel.

I mean nice. You know, Jim, what's funny that we're older now, we grew up in this fucking armpit. You know what I'm saying? Like, we grew up here. Like, this is, I was gone for a long time, but now I feel like after five years that now I see it for what it is, you know,

I don't have to use ways as much. Because this guy always asked me, how did you get here? I have no fucking idea. I just wrestling in the fucking car and it tells you the best way if there's an accident, whatever the fuck. But it's just so fucking weird that we're here.

I always knew I wasn't going to stay in California. I always knew that. There was no way I was buying a house in California. I went and looked at like two of them. Me and my wife were like, no fucking way. We're getting out of here, especially once we had the kid. It was all about the fucking kid, man.

Yeah. Everything else is back. I did what I had to do. Nothing else was going to happen. I was there 23 years. What am I holding on to? Yeah, I never even Just, I would just go out there for like a few weeks

Or a month at a time to a pilot season And then go, yeah, I just never, I didn't like it. I was there five years too long. Right. I should have left there right after that Netflix thing. I knew that that was it. It was my, that's it. I had done what I was going to do at the store.

I was having the best sets in the world. I'm happy I stayed to the pandemic, but I'm just happy you said, Yeah, I'll get you a realtor. And the rest was fucking history, dog. No games, no fucking nothing. We just went to work. Did you make your sister-in-law give you a little piece of the commission?

No. No, but I'll never forget. I didn't see Joey for like 15 years. Okay. I don't know. We just weren't running in the same circles. And I was at the comedy store one night. I was in the belly room.

And Joey was on the show, me, my manager, Jonathan, watched him. I never saw a guy kill. like Joey Kill for fucking 20 minutes. It was just went up there like a fucking maniac. You act at that comedy. It was un, I never seen anything like it. And you would be pooped after those 20 minutes. Right.

You get off stage and go, what the fuck was that? I felt like a kicking dummy. Like somebody was kicking me for 20 minutes straight. Right. And you said you had to go, you were there. Then you went to the main room. Then you were, you know, the original room. And you'd have to follow like killers like DeLea in his prime and guys like that,

bar and stuff like that. You're going after these monsters. The first six months that I went back, it was fucking school. Just following Allie Wong when that, it was like, holy shit. Yeah. I went up there with Ricky Dickey jokes after Ali Wong.

You're not going to do too good, you know. It was an education. It really was the best education I ever gotten. But it's funny, when I first met you in 97, I asked you where you were from. You said Jersey. You told me Old Bridge. who in those days

that was like telling me Transylvania. I didn't know what the fuck Old Bridge was. I knew Hudson County, Bayonne, Vineland, you know. But I asked you where you lived at the time and you said, Wee Hawking. And I was like amazed. Like, I'm like, this motherfucker's got it.

He lives in Wehawking and he does comedy in the city. That's fucking genius. And then years late, I saw that you were on Howard Stern. I was blown the fuck away. I was like, and then you want Ozzie's bowling out, which you still are. It's crazy.

You're still fucking on there. That's fucking tremendous. Like 15 years now, yeah. No, you still live right on Gregory Avenue. That was the last street right before going down down to the tunnel, down the Lincoln Tunnel. So he used to take the little jitney bus into the city every night. You know, a dollar, dollar. They'd let you off in the middle of it.

But that's when it was manageable. Yeah. They would let you off in the Lincoln Tunnel if you wanted to. As soon as you got in traffic outside, you got the tunnel. Yeah. let me out here and they'd just let you out. The problem was you had to wait for that bus to fill up at the end of the night at like two in the morning when I was done by spots. You're sitting on it.

There's three people and I'm like, come on, just fucking go already. And you're just waiting for a bunch of all the Spanish drunks to show up so I could fill that bus up and take you back. But it was fucking awesome. I was right there. I needed to be that spot. And that was another place. It was $900. We had three people living in the place.

300 bucks each. It's just so weird that I missed the boat. I always want to come to New York. but then I got involved and blah blah blah and then once I got here I'm like I'm not driving into the city every fucking night there's no way I was doing you've never been in the city at night and you believe that shit I know it's crazy back I've done five shows in the city those places at Sony Hall right but beside that the two nights I went in with my wife I walked around like a dodo bird and I've been in there in the daytime a few times but it's it's funny that you know for

years we would tell stories on podcasts and shit like that and people would you know pull you aside or pull me aside and go what the fuck did you grow up that you had that type of lifestyle like what you failed when i felt to tell these people is that home i go to on sundays to watch football these guys have known each other since there was six or seven yeah first grade first grade you don't see that. That's real. He's got a friend that was a bouncer in the village and wrote a book. The guy's one of these guys that's a tough guy.

I can tell he's kind of smart, you know, and he's got a good heart for you. And this is one of those guys that if you get into a beef, he'll die for you. If he loves you, this type of guy, they die for you. This ain't no guy in Hollywood that goes to kickboxing class at 6 in the morning. He eats kickboxes for lunch. Tell him what he told him the other day. When we asked him what his fighting record was.

He was a bouncer in the village for 10 straight years. Okay. At this place called the Red Lion. I said, Kevin, tell Joey what your record is fighting. He said, 227, 94, and 2. He kept track of everybody. Yeah. Now, there's people who you know they're lying to you.

He ain't lying. By looking at this guy, you just know. He's the last of those guys that, you know, you're not going to talk to them about toxic masculinity, you know, because he's going to knock you. He doesn't even know what that is. He's another guy who gave him a joint. He said he was hired for two days.

Yeah, yeah. He said he couldn't go to work the next day. Yeah, you're not fighting anybody after one of Joey's joints. But it's just crazy when you meet these guys that are real. You're meeting people that are fucking real. This is a real guy that gets up and took the bus over there and drank from the morning. He was telling this. He would start drinking the morning.

I don't know. He had to work the doors. And when you meet those kind of people, and they're real. These guys aren't, this isn't fucking St. Elmo's Fire. This isn't one of these Hollywood movies. This isn't Ocean's 11 where George Clooney. They're all friends and they all hang out because they really don't. They really don't.

When you go down to that basement on Sundays, you feel it. You're like, okay, I'm somewhere. I don't know these guys, but I do know these guys. I grew up with these guys. One guy's yelling racial slurs. The other guy's talking about the giants. The other guy, the two guys in the back talking about property taxes. You know what I'm saying?

And you sit there and go, wow, where I came from, this would have to be acted out. Those two idiots in the back will be talking about the script they're going to sell. These two homos over here. here. We're talking about how they're not homoes. You know what I'm saying? These, you know, everybody's talking about whatever project they have and how busy and how much money. Well, we're going to go with the Diaz's and the Ascalises to the Bahamas next ball. My uncle knows the captain of the fleet who gives a fuck. Like what just ever happened in L.A., you'd be at a football party with all those people in the business.

and the female sideline reporter comes on the screen. And you just nine guys. Would you all? Right. They're fucking coming the face. Yeah. Is she an Arab? Oh, look at her.

Oh, look at her. I let her shit on me first. And then I would eat this shit before I'd make out with her. Would you, would that happen at any? No. And when I, listen, I'm going to tell you who I felt like. Because I want you to think about this scene. There's a, there's a scene in Goodfellas where fucking, it's notorious.

You know, he shoots spider. But think about what happens when he shoots spider. The guy that gets frozen at the end of the locker, remember, they show him. He is a good guy. I knew that guy towards the end of L.A. He died of cancer. God rest his soul. And his brother is this, look at poor Lee.

Anyway, listen to me, Lee. I knew that guy. He died of cancer, God rest of his soul. Yeah, but. What was I getting that? I forgot. The edibles are kicking in. We were just talking about, yeah, about, you know, talking about those kind of guys.

Those kind of guys. And you're saying you knew that guy. He reminds you of. Oh, okay. When they first, when the first minute I was there and they all yelled and said all this shit, like I was in culture shock. First of all was the middle of COVID, they had all the windows closed. And these motherfuckers are yelling.

I'm like, I'm gonna die tomorrow. Okay. I would count how many people in there? Yeah, 12 people. This ain't going to be good tomorrow, but that's positive. And then they yelled and all this shit. And I thought after they killed Spider, they go, take them to the fucking doctor.

And the guy their hand goes, yeah, it's a good foot. It's a fucking good party. I'm having a good time. Like, it was a good time. Somebody got shot. Now it's a party. Now I know where I stand. Now I know, you know what I'm saying?

Like, now I know my boundaries. That first time I heard that after leaving, LA, that's what it felt like. I was like, oh shit, I'm with the right people. I'm in good hands. There's beers. There's everything. Who's fucking, every type of soda.

Jimmy Provide, it's a fucking family thing. He's got three other brothers and sometimes the sisters show up. Food from everywhere. Every week there's something there. And where the fuck is that going to happen? Unless in L.A., if somebody's got a script and they're casting it,

then we'd all be there. Let's go see Jimmy Jimmy who did the side on By half time he's there Somebody's all work Oh shit I'll tell you what I went to one

Super Bowl party in L.A I can't say his name He was at this party Guess what he did Jimmy In fact let's take a dollar bill See who could guess What this motherfucker did of the Super Bowl party In Hollywood

They invited me out of the comedy store Right The guy is from Jersey he lives in Jersey today and he was part of his Super Bowl party what do you think he did there was like an agent there and they were all kissing his ass what do you think this guy did

at halftime I have a guess with a dollar bill? No no we're going to bet a dollar bill age that nobody could guess what the fucking guy did at halftime shut up two

two three has our headshots four you're the closest so far put out put on a videotape of maybe his his actor set or something like that or maybe as yes uh this motherfucker like brought his stand up set and snuck it to some girls and he made the girl half time go let's put this in oh no people like what's this and the guys in the back like

that's our football party in LA, guys. Was it good at least? He lives back in New Jersey. He's not retired. No, not at all, but trust me, it was that. That's the thing. Everybody's going to be seen.

This, nobody cares if you fart, if you scratch your ass, if you're fucking, there's a kid who used to go there would just drink Coca-Cola's, 12 or 13 Coca-Cola's every Sunday. And then he would just crash. A little retarded kid. Yeah, we lost him. He's in college now. Right.

And then he would just crash and he couldn't even move on the couch. Fucking hilarious. Were you putting animals in the Coca-Cola? No. And then he would just like, and he wouldn't say anything. And then he'd get all miserable and mad.

Like, it really fucked him up. Because he couldn't drink Coke at home, so he'd just be guzzling him. Hysterical. And the guys were counting him. Look, he's on his eighth one. And he'd be popping another one dog. And you're like, what the fuck, guys?

It was always. It's always something, but it's real. It's organic, and that shit just didn't happen for a long time. And now I go, I'm always busy on Sundays. I go for the halftime to see what Miami's doing. If Miami's losing by halftime, we got to go. Because it's all over already. I don't want to see Jimmy's sad.

I like Jimmy when he's happy. But he's not even getting sad anymore. It's that type of season. Yeah. His son the other day was already going, yeah, we got a chance. Six and seven with a walk hard. I'm like, I didn't want to look at him and tell him, come here, son. You need a hug.

You need a hug. Yeah, he doesn't realize it. Even Jimmy didn't buy into it. I don't know what that one. Remember, he hasn't gotten a concussion yet. Tua? He's playing well. I don't wish him bad, but it's coming.

He's going to play. Oh, yeah. It's coming. You know what I'm saying? No question. Game eight, game nine, when they got a little bit of hope, he's going to get hit.

He always does. And that's it. And then Miami's got to figure it out after game nine. I don't wish him to, I like Tua. I became a fan. I bet them every Sunday just out of respect because I'm going over there. I don't go over there and cheer against them.

I'm family. Do you lose every Sunday? Huh? You lose every Sunday? Like a gentleman. Because I'm with it. This year, yeah, yeah. Because I'm with family.

It's out of respect. I know they're going to lose. But this week we won. I won, you know, 48 on 25. Nice. That's it. I don't bet them in any parlays. I don't include them in nothing.

You bet them solo and you just go, fuck it. A little something for the Florentine family. Just so we're on this together. Because there's some motherfuckers that go over there and cheer against the host. They don't know that when I was growing up, if you did that, you get smacked in some places. But there was somebody in particular who did that in front of me one day and in front of my mother. She cheered against the Mets.

That was not bueno. My mother went up to him and took the fork out of his fucking... I'm a fucking thing of him. Pisaa by da pinga. How do you are in my casa? And chal de cost, let me be passing. They met him guy et tautos.

Oh my God. Yeah, in the old days. Yeah, no, I tell my son that when you go over someone's house, don't win against their team. Never. Don't. You keep it quiet. I don't care if it's the worst team in the world.

Yeah. You go with the host. Everybody gambles on the whole. You go with the host. That's respect. You don't beat these people today. Well, my favorite, shut the fuck up. Your favorite player isn't playing until tomorrow.

He's probably on the I-L list, you know. But no, that's the way it is. Jimmy, just for the fucking record. tell them the wrestling story for you fucking people at home that don't understand the depth. You know, I'm trying to break, I got to break some news out, not to the podcast where I got to break it out to my family soon, but it's going to show you the levels of torture that I inflict.

Everybody's still waiting patiently from my piece of masterpiece that I've done. And they're already crumbling, just like I predicted, the scratching, that they're knocking on the door. it's crazy because we see it coming a mile away. And it's great when you get surprised, but then you're like, this motherfucker doesn't understand. I'm from Jersey.

And now I own him. I own him in a different way. Not financially, not physically. I'm going to own him mentally. Well, I'm going to dip into his or her fucking mind and just fucking run my fucking gamut. Because people have done it to us. And it's like, okay,

I see it coming, but now we're better at you at this. Tell them what you grew up in. I mean, you grew up with fucking seven people in your house, yelling and screaming Italians, but tell us the wrestling story for the fucking record. My dad would take us to Madison Square Garden for a wrestling match. And Bruno San Martino was the champ at the time. And they had to make, he was the champ for like 12 years

because all the Italians in New York loved them. And they couldn't change belts because he'd fill the guy, he'd pack the garden every month, 20,000 people. all the Italians from New York, we go see him. So Vince McMahon Sr. said, listen, man, you can't, you can't give up the belt. You know, because Bruno wanted to retire. He's like, we're not going to sell out the garden.

So my dad was one of those Italian guys. I was 12, 13, 14, taking me to Madison Square Garden. You had to be 14. I think you had to be 16. They get in because it was blood for some reason. So you had to be 16. I didn't have an idea, obviously. So I would wear my mom's bell.

I wear bell bottom pants and wear my mom's platform shoes like Kiss wore. She had the big platform bucket. So I looked taller. But I cover him with the bell bottom pants. You know, just so I looked taller. So I wouldn't go. This kid's not 16. Because my dad said, listen, if you can't get in, I'm leaving you at Penn Station.

I'm going to a match. I ain't going back home. So I dressed up like a fucking basically like a woman to go watch fucking go watch men and tights fucking wrestle. How am I not sucking cock to this day? I don't understand. So there was a guy out front that would sell wrestling pictures. He was always in the,

the same spot he had a photo album he was a wrestle photographer so we'd always go to him i said you know i'd save up like 10 bucks he'd solve like a dollar piece so i'd buy him you know and then at one point he goes hey give me a phone number because i go to all the other matches outside the garden nassal colise in baltimore and i could tell you who won these matches because you didn't know you know what they weren't on tv so he started calling me and he's like hey me superstar billy graham and he's breathing heavy on the phone and i'm like why you breathing heavy because i just came in from a jog i'm like all right that sounds logical me might weigh like 350 pounds he wasn't fucking jogging anywhere so he must have been jerking off on the line why you know my my 14 year old voice was coming

and you know it was just changed at the time was getting nice and deep so it must have did something to him as he told me who won the match so at one point my parents let us go to as we park convention hall by ourselves. We're 14 years old. There's like six of us. Take the train down there. Like, oh,

it's close enough. We don't have to go with you. He's in the front row because he's taking picture. So in between a match, we're all in the nosebleeds. He comes up to all of us. He's like, hey,

I got two seats. Who wants to come down to front? And so we're like front row. He's like, yeah. I'll go. And he goes, and you too, Mike.

We were both the kids with blonde hair and blue eyes. So we get down to the front and all of a sudden, there's only one seat. And I'm like, I thought there was two seats. He goes, no, one's mine. I go, well, how's this going to work?

He goes, well, someone has to sit on my lap. Oh, no. And I'm like, this is weird. He's like, yeah, well, one's mine. So someone's got to sit on my lap. And I'm like, I'm not doing it. And Mike's like, I'm not doing it. But then all of a sudden, they're starting to match.

We see Andre the giant coming out. And he's like, fucking five feet from like, holy shit. I'm like, all right, fucking, I'll sit on your lap. Oh, no. I wasn't going back to the nosebleeds. Fucking Andre was right there. I'm 14 years old. I see him seven foot five.

So I sat on his lap And he's holding me like we're on a motorcycle You know, in case I fell Oh no And at one point during a match He nibbled on my ear And I go, what the fuck was that? He's like, sorry, I was looking that way.

It slipped. And I'm like, that's weird. I go, Mike, you sit on his lap. I'm done. I go, fuck that. So then Mike sat on his lap And he started holding him like that. Yeah, I threw my friend that about.

So yeah, I still want to see to match. I'm not leaving, but that was a little weird that you nibbled on my ear. I mean, it did feel pretty good, actually. So then at some point, cut to a few months later, my parents let him stay over a house on the weekend because he knew all the kids in the neighborhood because we'd all go to matches. My dad would take everybody. So he knew like six of us. And my parents thought it was weird, like a 39-year-old guy.

Why would I want to hang out with 14? He was like, all right, well, whatever. I met him. It seems like it's okay. So he comes in from the bus from New York City. He lived in New York City Friday night. He comes in late. And he goes, hey, can I wake up, Jim?

He's sleeping in our guest room. My parents are like, no, he's sleeping. He goes, okay, I wake up in the morning and he's got his hand down my pants, my underwear. I'm in my pajamas. I had a little PJs, you know, and had a little hole in the front. He had his thumb through it. And I go, what are you doing? He goes, I'm showing you a magic trick.

I'm like, a magic trick. He's like, yeah, no, no, let me keep. it in there. It's a magic trip. I'm like, this is fucking bullshit. I'm going to go tell my my older brothers because they were on to him. They thought he was weird anyway. And he blocked the door. And he's like, listen, I got my photo album here is 30 pictures. Whatever ones you want if you don't say a word. I go 30. He's like 30. I go, okay. So I fucking sat through it. I took out 30 pictures. He goes, you're not going to say anything. I go, no, I'm not going to say anything. As soon as he moved away from the door, I ran, told my brothers, they fucking dragged them out.

He was holding under the door. They dragged him out. Put him in the car and they dumped them off at the bus stop. And like, we're hitting them over the head with those big newspapers like six in the morning. You know, the Star Ledger was in a fucking rat. Hitting them over the head and beat the fuck out of him and sent him on a bus back to New York. Wait. Yeah, I was going to say, Wally, John, I love how this is Joey's favorite story.

And like most people would still be in therapy over this. What is going? Oh, my God. I didn't notice my brother. Bob, who's older to me, he said, he goes, the night before, he came in my room and he tried to kiss me, and I punched him in the face, and I gave him a black lip, a bloody lip. I didn't even know that. He told me that years later. Black lip, don't throw him under the fucking jail now. And I found him on a sex offender's website. He lives in Thailand now. He was in a sex

event. No. Yeah. About eight years ago, I found him, he was still there. Still there. But I told this story on Howard Stern. I had 15 people email me from around the country, said, that's the same thing that happened to me too we did that with me he did this i stayed over he did we'd be wrestling with me all the shit it was a huge story people i got to show you joey next to me over i still have a picture of a guy i have a picture of a guy the guy sent me the picture because he'd write us letters too i really like you and you know what the worst was there was one there was one that even coloff was old wrestling. He had the, he won the belt for like nine days he had it. And he had that

picture. He goes, this is really rare. It's going to be worth a lot of money one day. And I took that one out of my 30. And I looked it up and it was worth nine cents. That motherfucker lied to me. Nine cents. I saw the pictures, too. Yeah. Yeah. I have to keep

them. You know, there's a guy on Facebook but I'm friends with him and his wife. And his wife signed up for my Patreon before it went fucking kaput. Boy just fucking disappeared. I don't know what the fuck Patreon did that. What?

And I've tried to, he's a big shot now. I mean, he was a North Bergen, skinny, fucking scrawny kid. And he ended up with a big position. I don't know how. I mean, I'm not mad at him. But he was across this. He lived across the street from me. And when I first moved to that neighborhood,

he was younger than me probably a year or two. I hung out with somebody completely different, even though he lived on the block, but he had a hot mom with a great fucking ass, and she wore little glasses, blonde with curly hair. Did you eat an edible? No.

You look fucked up. It's like coughed-medice. It's a bunch of dayquil, yeah. So, you know, that's the house. It's still there. I'm giving that a terrace. And they had a side door, and they had like a back apartment.

And we had the same thing. We had a guy that lived back there that we'd be playing, and he'd just walk in and out with his newspaper, and he had leather jacket. He worked in the city, good guy, and then he started coming outside and talking to us. And then one day we were at that age where we wanted questions, but we didn't want to ask our dads. So we started to ask him creepy questions about girls and shit.

He would say, come to the backyard, I'll show you shit, and he would play a little porn for us and all that type of stuff. I don't know. His name was Nelson, and he had a black friend, and they had gone to, what's that rock? It doesn't fucking matter. They went to some country with a rock. I'll never forget. The rock of Gibralton. And they would always talk about the rock of Gibralton.

And we were talking one night. And we were like, Nelson, tell us how it is when you get a hand job and all this shit. He's like, no, no, no. Come tomorrow at 8 o'clock. Come by my window and listen. Give me a dollar apiece. I'm going to fuck my girlfriend. You guys can listen.

He was charging you a dollar piece? Yeah. And we all went over to that next night and sat by the window. And I'll never forget, like, we were at that age that we knew, but we didn't know. And the girl goes, give me milk, daddy. And we fucking heard that and ran. That was ill. She was, because he was about to jerk off in the mountains.

Right. Wow. I didn't see it. The taller kid. Right. He's talking about her in the ass. And he was like coming the poor kid. You can hear him breathe in evidence.

Right. He's on Facebook, too. Give me milk daddy. That's a great line. But the chick said, give me milk, daddy and we fucking ran. It must have been four of us under the window dressed up. Right.

And yeah, we thought we were going to get pussy and shit. And then we torched him for a while. I never knew what happened to him. But, you know, I thought about it. Before I started writing about him, I'm like, let me fucking dig deep. You know, and I call, I hit that kid on Facebook and I go, do you remember him?

When we were kids, he goes, I knew my mom rented it to somebody that was a bartender. I just don't remember him at all. And I'm like, I wish you could tell me that the guy got arrested or I don't know what happened to the guy. But it was interesting having him there. Until this day, I can't.

Not till the end was when he would come out. We play football and he come out with a robe with no underwear on. And that's what. I love for the beginning of this podcast is you pitching me moving to New Jersey. And it's great to grow up in New Jersey. Listen, this is New Jersey, 1975 Lee. where you know what, nothing was really going to happen because you had neighborhood kids.

We backed each other. I never went back there alone. And he was right off the street. If anything happened, you would yell one time. Like, that's how we knew when he was fucking the chick. We could hear it. We could hear it, you know? So you can hear what was going on.

It wasn't toward the end when we thought something was weird about him. And that was when he came out to play football with a robe with no underwear and sneakers on. And he fucking... He had sneakers on, too? He had sneakers on. And he went up the middle and somebody tackled him.

And his dick came out. End the story. That's it. No more football for that. It sounds like the same guy. Yeah. But it's crazy. I like, you know, I talk to all these victims and I, and I'm not, you know, saying anything.

You talk to victims. Not talk to victims, but you read their stories. You feel their pain. You watch their YouTube videos. And you go, you know, man, I'm very grateful. And one time I was such a basketball head. I was probably in the eighth grade. And somebody said that St. Michael's opened up.

It was like when we used to get a foot of snow, you know, nothing. The buses, the number one bus shut down, they only have one bus. You'd have to wait for two hours for the bus to come around. But we were into basketball. And I remember going down there with a bunch of kids, but they all lived in fucking North Bergen downtown. I still had to get up to like 38th Street. I'm not being out there for 45 minutes, freezing,

and also the guy pulls up. And he goes, hey, you want to ride up? How far are you going? I go, see us. He goes, get in. And I had a basketball. I put it between my legs. I'm freezing and shit.

And right by we got close. He goes, so you play basketball a lot, and he went to hit the ball, but he hit my cock. And I just fucking froze, Jimmy. I didn't know what to do. I'm like, oh. This is no bueno. And he goes, where do you live?

And I go, fuck that. And there was a god because the door just opened. I still remember just running out, hitting sears, and then running in front of him and going into Schittgen Park. And in those days, I knew Schutzen Park in and out. I was up there all the time getting chased by the butcher. The guy who cut meat and cooked, we didn't want us in the back. So I knew all the nooks and crannies.

And I still remember him pulling in and going, hey, where are you going? And I fucking just darted, you know. I didn't call the cops. I just went home. I didn't tell nobody. He didn't do nothing wrong. Right. No phone, no fight.

He went for the cock of death. He tried. I ain't maddened for that. Look at the shape of Leo. The fucked up episode. What do you mean? He didn't do nothing. He grabbed your dick.

Yeah, well, you know, those sort of times. Listen, Lee, I was late. Parents didn't think like the priests were doing anything with the kids. Yeah, go camp and went him for the weekend. And that was normal. A man of God in theory.

Yeah, but that's what they didn't think. professional wrestling photographer and a fucking... And I thought about it. I never think of it going home and going, should I say some? In those days, if I said something, that would make my mom put more security on me. And that's the last thing I'd be in the eighth grade.

I had finally earned that freedom from her. I was allowed to go play basketball and go to movies, with girls, and little fucking stupidity. If I would have told her that, then she would have put the fucking grips on me. I want you to borrow all the time from now. That works against the fucking whatever.

Right. And that's a lot of the, I remember my older brother saying, hey, you better tell dad what that guy did. I go, no, because he's going to make me give the pictures back. I fucking earned him. I worked hard for these fucking pictures. Fucking sat on the guy's lap. Did you ever finish that episode of that show with John Ham,

the show I told you about him burglarizing houses? No, I didn't see it. What is it again? I haven't seen it yet. It's on Apple. I haven't seen it, but I know what it is. All right. I don't have a...

You've got to watch episode eight when it wraps up and he busted. What this beautiful woman says to him. And it opens up every man's eyes. Because I've watched it three times already. I want this woman said that she got out of high school and she was the high school beauty queen. And then she went to college and she got out. She couldn't find a job.

So she got a job in a restaurant. She was the hottest waitress. and then one day she started having an affair with the boss and her life was different. Then one day the boss proposed to her and she thought it was great because now she had financial security and she could do whatever the fuck she wanted

but now she became the manager at the restaurant they bought another business and she just goes on about her life and she goes, you know, meanwhile he's doing this and I have to live like this because it's protecting my children. So for years I let this fucking slob climb on top of me every night and do whatever the fuck he wanted to

because I did it for my choice I'm telling you dog it's like Glenn Gary Glenn Ross is a good monologue but this chick does a monologue about life and she just breaks it down what I did for my fucking kids and how this series ends will blow all your fucking

minds by the way the fucking mayor of Kingstown is back with Lorraine with the other chick Tony Soprano's wife she's running the prison now bam was tremendous last night. So if you don't know now, you fucking know, motherfuckers.

What, Lee? What? What? What? You're still getting over the wrestling fucking story. I know. You want to see the pictures next time we go in my house? Were they at least signed pictures? You're going to have to sit on my lap. See, Lee? She's been trying to get me to sound people's laps for 15 years. There's action of the suburbs, dog. I like it doesn't sound good. It sounds like child abuse. Let me ask you this. Jimmy, you do a lot of, you're always on gut which is fucking tremendous yeah I hear about it all the time I watch and I can't I'm not

political so I can't but you're always on gutfeld which is fucking great you're still on the road and you're still doing your thing but it's not I can't ask for more raising my kid he's good it's all good we're not going to right right we're not going to rehab not catching a shit I'm just doing my little gigs nobody invited us sell a few yeah exactly heartbroken you didn't get the 1.8 I'm not going to in that fucking chaos of that world. I don't want to be any part of it. And we live nice and simple.

I already live fucking that life. You live the two. You know, when I was on Stern back of the day, 20 million people listening. Your business is on the air every day. You know, I dated a sidekick. So that was all going on. I don't like that shit, man.

So I went through it. I already fucking went through all that chaos. You're done. I'm done. Now we're just waiting for fucking the Lord to take us when and when. Yeah, whatever. Yeah.

and just write it out. Dog, when you're 60 is a different game. You have hope that you, look, I talked to my uncle the other day finally, 85, he's still slinging dick. I hope, I hope. I knock on wood every day.

He took care of himself at the end. He's living with cancer too. He just goes to a vegan diet. They live. No chemo, no nothing. Wow. Where's the next weekend you're working? I'll be at the dojo,

Mars playing December 26. Oh, I can't go to leave. wedding now. December 26 and 27. He's getting married on the 27. Both nights, I'm there at 26 and 27. So you're out. You say, I would have went.

You can't catch the... Now I'm definitely sending you an invite to get the present. You take Bitcoin? Of course I think Bitcoin. Lee, where are you at this week? This week, Wednesday. I'm with you at the dojo. Friday.

Thursday. Oh, Thursday now? Yeah. Okay. Thursday I'm at the dojo. Friday. I'm at the dojo. Friday. I'm at the comic strip for the...

comedy competition. Are you going to dress up? You're making your dress up like something? No. And Boker this weekend too. Are you in Bocca this weekend? Yeah, Friday, Saturday, Halloween night and Saturday. Oh shit.

Fucking Boketan like a motherfucker. All New Yorkers down there. I love them. Yeah, no, that's a good little place. Yeah, yeah. Retired New Yorkers that live there. We motherfuckers know where I'll be. I'll be at the dojo with them.

Thursday night. Stress factory's gone. November 8th. DC at the fucking MGM Grand Casino. I'm very excited. I'm going to be down there a few days fucking sightseeing. See when one of the president got shot. Somebody got shot down there, didn't they?

It don't matter. But I love you, motherfuckers. I want to thank Jim Florentine for coming on. Lee Syatt, the Captain Kirk, the fucking Jewish Cato, the flame of life. December 27th wedding, you know what I'm saying? So hopefully you could all make it. We'll leak the locations of the wedding.

She could all show up and take pictures, and his wife would love to have you there. I love you guys. Have a great week. See you next week. Coxuckers. Stay black. What's happening, beautiful people? Uncle Joey here.

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