The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - Mike Dowd TWO NIGHT Special Event: Night One

Episode Date: February 23, 2016

Mike Dowd, former NYPD Officer and the subject of "The Seven Five" documentary came to LA from New York for a TWO NIGHT Special Event with Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt. This Podcast Is Brought To You By: Club W. Go to www.clubw.com/joey to get 50% off of your first order of wine curated just for you Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout. Ring: Go to ring.com/church to get Free expedited FedEx shipping

This show is brought to you by ClubW. Don't ever come home to a wine-free house again. Just go to clubw.com slash Joey to get 50% off your first order. That's right. ClubW right now is offering our listeners 50% off of your first order when you go to clubbw.com slash Joey. Show is also brought to you by ring.com. Go to ring.com and look at their brand new video doorbell. the doorbell takes minutes to install and works with either your current wiring

or built and rechargeable battery go to ring.com slash church right now to get free expedited FedEx shipping that's ring.com slash church to get free expedited FedEx shipping and go to honor dot com and use code word church to get 10% off all of the great optimization products

like Alpha Brain and New Mood. We're back bitches Monday, February 21st whatever the fuck it is I think today's Julia serving birthday. That's all I'm happy about. God bless. Lee Syatt's in the motherfucking house. Fuck yeah. And the most

anticipated guest I've had in a long time. My uncle, Mr. Mike Dowd, with a documentary, the 7-5. What's happening, brother? Thank you for being honest. Happy to be here. Thank you, Joey. You did the right thing. You put me right in the kitchen here. You brought me right you brought me right to your church. I really

I don't fuck around. I can't believe it. I don't fuck around. Amazing. I saw you. Top shelf. I see you on this documentary. 20 people tell me to hit me that's always a bad sign. Gentiles telling you watch this, watch this, watch this. And then you were on Knicks. And then when Nick was on Rogan, Nick spoke about you.

And I've known Nick for a long time. And Nick's a Boston kid, you know. So a lot of people that grew up with this type of behavior aren't really impressed at this. Like they've just heard bits and pieces. When I watched it and I saw a couple stories, but most importantly, I was watching you. I knew I was home.

I had arrived. I had finally seen somebody who's real. Finally, in all this bullshit world, finally he's somebody real. I did this Christmas movie seven, eight years ago, and there's a guy in this movie that's an Italian guy, but it looks white. And all the years I've been in movies,

this guy, Italian guys, they're not white, right? No, no, but this guy looks like his name is Jerry. His name's not Enzo. And I see this guy. He only did one movie where he played, not a mobster guy, but a guy from the neighborhood. And the second day that we did the movie, he had two supposedly mafia high-ranking captains on the set. Now, I saw these two old guys. They had to be in their 70s, and I didn't even say anything.

I just turned my back. At that point, I didn't know who they were. But if anything you know about us, we don't need to know who it is. It's got it to do with me. I wave. Got to go. The actor waved back at me. We were doing scenes that day, and I kept going.

Then that night, the guy told me they were in town because they were trying to sell their lives. You know, they were trying to sell their life with the Colombo crime family. Donnie Shacks and the other guy. And they were talking. And then, you know, we met. We had, what's his name on the show who was supposed to come on Friday and never showed again. Salubots You know

And after that I mean I've been to Is he free? Yeah he's free When the Sopranos went off the air I read for you know Three or four things that were the guys were in the room You know guys that now had new stories

There's Joey Karate Tommy Karate Tommy Karate movie that they were going to make for a while I was with Tommy Karate Yeah there was What a nice guy to be honest Yeah Crazy

What the other guy from the Columbus Not the guy from the Columbus, the guy from the bananas, who was the last boss. They were going to make a movie about him recently. He finally sold his story. Why do you think that it's so popular? All this mob's? Well, the genre was very popular. Now, the Sopranos really put a stab into that genre.

The Sopranos took the air out of it. That's it. Nobody could do them. Nah, you got really nowhere to go. Right, right, right. You got really nowhere to go. When Goodfellas came out, I remember talking to a fucking pre-year. about Goodfellas.

I'm being in church on a Sunday and me and him walking to the side coming out of Sacred Heart Church in Boulder, Colorado. I'll never forget that. I forget his name. God forgive me. And I'm walking out. And he's like, what's going on later?

And I go, Father, I saw Goodfellas the other thing. He goes, no shit. I saw it too. The matinee. I go, I didn't see you. He goes, I was sitting in front. I didn't have my shit on. He was telling me, Jesus Christ.

Here's me and this priest. talking about good fellas and he went with like a nun and another dude from the church so it was something that was more mainstream yeah it crosses over nobody really went to see the fucking movie with the Boston guy oh yeah black mass was

30 million and I enjoyed it I got kicks out of it just because I hadn't seen anything in that genre you know what I really you like that the winter hill gang or something right the winter hill I was looking so much I like I love these kind of movies so I was really looking forward Whitey Bulger.

Right. Give them some respect. Whitey Bulge's story. So it's, and it's crazy when they really don't hit. Like, black mask for me,

I had, like it was Johnny Depp. I thought it was going to be great. And it just didn't. Those movies are not. The Sopranos deflated that genre. Funny story. Guy sends me on Twitter.

He goes, I watched the black mask. And thank God, he says, the 7-5, the same weekend. He said it saved my fucking weekend. I'm like,

what is the black mask? black mask. I didn't know what it was yet. I had to look up what the black mask was and then say he watched the black mask, which was about the Winter Hill Gang and Wadi Bulger or whatever. And then he said, the 7-5 saved his fucking weekend. I'm like, you've got to be kidding me. That this is like the documentary is better than the movie about the Winter Hill gang. So I was very impressed. I mean, come on. So your movie came out on IMDB. It says 2014, but in reality it came up. the official theatrical release was May 2015. And it came out in movie theaters.

It came out in select movie theaters. IFC did a shit job with it. I'm going to be honest. They did a lousy distribution. They had no idea what they had. And from there it went to HBO, Showtime. I don't know, Netflix. Showtime, Netflix.

Amazon, all these different places. And really, to be honest with you, my son, made this thing famous. You know, he took me up on social media, and he managed me, and he just kept pumping it out and pumping it out. He had me on, like, Reddit. He had me on all these different shows. And, like, you know, really, I don't make any money from the documentary.

But, you know, I'm trying to build a brand, my own brand, you know, the 7-5 Mike Dowd's story. And, but he really pumped it out. I mean, this thing was dead in the water. It's one of the best, listen, I don't watch TV. I'll be honest. I hate to say that, but I don't watch TV. Never, never. You were one of those guys.

I watch news. You watch news? Sports on Sunday. That's it. I don't watch anything else. I mean, shock tank, all right? I do watch. Now you watch Shack now.

But 20 years ago when you were in college, you didn't even know what the TV was. I didn't know what it was. No, I don't give you shit. I was out drinking from the end of the bed. I shift. I drank from midnight to 4 in the morning, did a couple blasts. Got in the car and drove home. That was my, that was my life.

No TV. Got up in the morning, put on the fucking news. And then if there was a sports thing, met some of Mep fans. Sorry, fuck he's all. I don't care. And Rangers at the time. I was a crazy ranger fan, which I'm not to hockey anymore. So you could go out every night.

That's like so foreign to me. Just going like getting drunk. Like that's all I started at work. Never mind you. How old were you when you started going out five nights a week? Tell Lee, how old are you? 22, 21. Five nights a week.

Over. Happy hours. Your friends. How old are you when you became a police officer? 21. Okay. So you started going out after? Well, probably prior to that, probably.

18, 19. It was a four or five minute a week. Your first shift was a four to 12? No, my first shift was a day shift. Seven to three, eight to four? Seven to three, thirty. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fucking crazy just to be a cop from seven to three thirty.

Yeah. I can't say something. It ends? It ends? I didn't start out doing that, you know. I started out doing the right thing, you know? Right, no end. Let me tell you something.

It was a good fucking job. I mean, the point they paid was shitty, but it was a good job. You know, the minute you got there, you started getting paid, right? Think about a lot of people today. They've got to go to a job site. They got to wait for the crew to gather, and they got to start doing something. They got to earn their money. Back then, you showed up.

The paycheck started the minute you stepped into the precinct. And what you do? You got the car. Now, the guy that you were... Got the car and drove places. Partner is with. What's his name? The one in the movie.

Yeah. You're out. Kenny made a statement. He said that he grew up and, there was a test to be a cop. Oh, that was chicky, I think. No, no, it was Kenny. I took the test and the fireman test.

A fireman or the police? Same shit. And the cops called. Yeah. When you were seven, did you tell your dad, I'm going to be a fucking cop? I was going to be an accountant or a lawyer or a doctor. He told me what I was going to be. That's see.

I just wanted to know. So when you became 18, the test became available for you to become a cop. Yeah, took the test. What year was this? I took the test probably 19, 80, 1980. What was the test like? What's on a police officer's entrance test?

It's just basic intelligence level stuff. They're just trying to see if you can answer questions yes and no and, you know, simple, simple stuff like that, you know. Do you have to go through like a psych test or no? Oh, that's, you know, that's once they start investigating you. And, yeah. So it's a process. But the test was not. I'd say it was an eighth grade level, 10th grade level test as far as, you know, mathematics.

Bullshit, you know, sociology. How many yards before you stop? Listen, the test wasn't about the test. It wasn't about the test. Can you show up? Can you answer questions? Right. After that, then it becomes the process of becoming a cop, which is much more entailed and detailed. You know, so. Psychological, medical, physical. It's so funny when I think of you and what intrigues me the most about you that I've, in my lifetime, I'm 53 years old, as a first.

Friday. But in my life, I bless you, happy birthday. Thank you. I've heard of two people who were doing the things you were doing on the screen, you know, and the police as cops. And then I lived with one. One of them was one of my best friends growing up. In fact, we just spoke, you know, maybe last Wednesday. We still speak. We're very tight. So I see the correlations between you three. The correlation. The correlation. are you all got hired between 79 and 80. Right. Investigated. I've actually hired in 82, but yeah, it's the same time. The kid that I'm talking about that I was tight with, he didn't have a record before he became a cop. But you knew this guy was not going to fucking be a cop

when we were 16. He was one of those dudes that was three years ahead of the fucking thing. Like, you know, you were getting weed for 200, the car for four ounces in those days. You could buy, what the fuck was it? Yeah, $200 bought you four ounces, which is $50 an ounce. You could sell the ounces for a hundred. He had a better deal, but weed was better.

He went to the Bronx and came back and he was 16. He had a car. He was a survivor already. It was fucking amazing. He was a business guy. So when they came to me and said, Bapida-Boppas is going to become a cop. I go, no way.

Are you fucking kidding me? And it just wasn't pop-a-pop. It was him and another guy. Another guy, another guy I knew. These guys are all right guys. They've never taken nobody in the weeds and shot them. Right, right. But they're kinky motherfuckers.

How did this happen? I'm blown away that at 21, four years out of high school, or three years out of high school, you can be a cop. Yeah, never have a job prior to it either. No, no military experience. Nothing. No security guard at the mall. No fucking weapons, nothing. Go into Queens.

I mean, fill out the paperwork, do a test. Take a test. They call you. a job. Okay, how long in the academy? Five months and change. Five months. You fucking muck around your shoe. Now, let me ask you. In a Catholic school. You know, you were a little kid

and this Catholic, same thing. Now, where did you grow up in life? I grew up. I was born in Brooklyn. How many fits fights you get into? You know, I had seven brothers. I fought every day. Did you sell a nickel bag? Did you ever sell? I had seven brothers and sisters. We fought every day. I had a couple of six. I had a part of his street fights as a kid. No, I never stole a thing. Well, I did get

I stole some chunkies when I was six, man. And I got beat with a whiffleball. And that was it after that. You never saw it. Maybe a few more times after them, but not a lot. You knew who the bad people in your neighborhood? Everybody did. And you know who the good people. Absolutely.

Okay. Absolutely. And we were the good people. You were the good people? No, no, I understand. No, really. My dad was a fireman. You know, he raised a bunch of kids, and he did his best.

And, you know, they all pretty much did successful things. They all became firemen and cops, too. You know, but, uh, it had, you know, listen, I was supposed to be the doctor, the lawyer or the accountant. I wasn't going to be a fireman or a cop or anything. And it's like that civil service. I was going to be the one to take the family to the next level. So were you smart? So I did.

Just the different level I went down. Why did they think? Were you like really smart? I was reasonably intelligent. I was a quick learner. I was a very adaptable. I learned how adapt pretty quickly wherever I was at. So I guess, you know, there's a different intelligence called like an emotional quotient intelligent.

I was able to adapt to people, read people quickly and utilize them to. they used the word manipulation you know i was able to manipulate but you know not like whining and crying manipulate like you look like steve jobs would do you know one of those guys you know they're the smartest guy in the room but they know how to work the smartest guy in the room give me two minutes here give me two minutes real quick give me two minutes close your eyes you uh you're 94 years old god forbid the lord closes your eyes you go to heaven god says to you listen I want you to forgive you for what you did down there, Mikey Dad, but I want you to thank me for the number one gift I gave you. What's the gift you're going to thank him for?

My children? No. Like his personal trait? He gave you a gift that not a lot of people see, and you know how to read people in 6.2 seconds flat. When I watched you tell the story about the dude in the car with the tickets, you're looking around, this guy could be IA this guy could be deep under cover this guy could be

and you know this you know that even when you were a cop you know I'm watching this documentary I watched it four times this is what I'm getting from I'm getting I made a living out of reading people's faces you know you know I did and God gave me that saying

yeah you're right when I was a kid I knew how to learn how to you know I was the one that they said take a work around the corner and if there's a car come back like nothing happened Still going to the store. Still buy where you're going to buy. Don't fucking hurry up.

Come back and tell us the car, the plate. Let us know what's going on. I had to do it. Come back. Like nothing happened. And you just developed this gift. Yes, you do. My gift is I never sold to an undercover.

I never. Nothing. Nothing. When I got pinched, if somebody else got arrested, they came and got me, and that was it. But I always had, I could look at the motherfucker and go, listen, let's get out of you. Let's take a walk.

It happened to me. It happened to me more than once. In fact, just before I get pinched, they tried to introduce me to undercover. Kenny and his flunky there, and I'm like, I told you we don't need anybody else, and I don't trust what's going on here. But meanwhile, they brought me into the room with the guy. It was done. This guy was undercover.

I don't like the way this looks. This is back in 1992, just about three months, three weeks, three weeks before, four weeks before we get arrested. And you see, if you watch the 75 documentary, he's in there. he's a really white Irish looking guy A real white Irish looking guy Oh is it the guy who said he was not undercover? Yes right at the end That was him

I met him and I'm like Okay well I don't like this scene here I'm out of here I told you I don't want anybody new I don't want to know anybody knew I'm fine You know bingo Doesn't matter once you met the guy

It was over because now they put the They put the tail on you And you know They got 147 men from New York City Police Department of Internal Affairs Division Assigned to the assist Suffolk County. About 85 member

investigative team there. About 240 men on me. I thought I was seeing stars. I thought you ate some of my stars. I thought I was seeing shit. I'm like you can't make this up. I don't know what

maybe this is the question. What do you guys call what you both have? I don't know if it's charming or like when did that start because you guys it's just amazing. It's just amazing to listen to me. I don't know what it's called. No, it's not charisma because I never got pussy So it's not charisma

The eldest had charisma Sinatra had charisma Ah, he's a good looking dude Mike down I hold my own but I'd hold my own too much When you were talking When you were talking about In the 7-5

You're talking about You know getting money for the first time Why at the time In 87 Coke was 34,000 a kilo Right And you went into the bag and you're like, Jesus fucking Christ, there was white powder everywhere. Oh, that was a good one. I saw your eyes.

That was the Panamanians. Oh, please. I saw your eyes. I saw the excitement in your heart. Stop. It's embarrassing. No, it's not embarrassing. It's true.

It's fucking true. Yeah, but it's... I enjoyed it, too. I was supposed to be a cop. Listen, I was supposed to be an attorney and I was supposed to be a Catholic. And my mother had just died. I was supposed to, you know, uplive her name. It's the same fucking death.

difference yeah and one day you find yourself kicking in a window you know taking that was a fucking amazing taking something that don't belong to you the smell was amazing it's not like that bubble the bazook bubblegum smell though oh Jesus Christ I'm sorry dick is getting on and your palms are sweating you have no idea you go deaf and your ears are ringing you know you get all I can figure was how am I going to get this shit out of here there's cops everywhere how the fuck am I going to get this stuff out of here and I was a fucking nothing. I get eight ounces, six ounces. You know, I'd get somebody's stashed that they

would lose their house a month later because, fucking... They couldn't pay the mortgage now. Yeah, they couldn't pay the mortgage now. Because it was a thousand an ounce, was a thousand an ounce now, six grand in a hole. Crazy, crazy, crazy, he kicked into the fucking somebody's house and you know it's in there, and they just got it. The guy who turns you on just told you just, he just saw the rock, and you go there late at night you kick the fucking door down they got a dog oh Jesus the pit bulls

No I was way before the pit bulls No I was way before the pit bulls Yeah last time I got attacked It was a German Shepherd For Christ's sake Yeah I got scald in my face from a German Shepherd Oh my God Your heart just beats

That's tricky in the movie When he's saying Your Falka key Your adrenaline rush is crazy He's saying When I sent him in the house for the money During that part of the docket You were smiling

Just like your face was like lit up like you were a kid in the candy store just thinking about when you, it was like when you were talking about reaching up in the ceiling and tearing down the money. It's just like even right now, it's just like, oh. You can't deny the feeling when you come across money that is free.

You know, like, you make it 35, 35 grand a year. You know, you just find half your fucking pay, half your salary in like one scoop, you know? You can't, you know what I'm talking about, right? That's like one shot, boom, 15, 20, 30, 40, 80.

$70,000, you know, in one shot. What's your first thought when you see, like, I can't even, I've never seen more than like $1,000 maybe on the table. I can't imagine seeing stacks and rolled up. Your first thought is who's with me? Because if they're not with me, they're against me. And how do I get what I can out of here? I mean, of course, I never thought like that when I was a kid,

rookie cop. I was trying to do the right thing. So let's be clear here. However, when I realized that, you know, When the sergeant said to me, if I don't see you tag something, do what you got to do. I went, thank you, God. It was like, the light went on. It's over.

Every time someone got murdered, I race to the scene. Because what do people get murdered for in the hood? Dope, money? Maybe pussy, but that's, you know. You know, one of the realest lines in that whole movie is the line that chicky says, fuck Beverly Hills. You know, the folks are money in the house. which is

and listen there's cash this fucking it was like an ATM machine and you have to catch it before it leaves that's right that's what you're doing that's where money's tree that's what you're doing listen when I was a fucking kid my family had a bodeggag on 118th street like on 5th by the fucking

that was hall by the by the fucking Marquetta and the train Spanish Hallam my mom is right there when I was a kid and I saw it and I saw how in the daytime people would go to that bodega and once and then be

some guy downstairs and another guy. That guy was holding. That guy was packing. Right. The money, every hour on the hour. The guy would come down from the third floor, take the money upstairs, or get counted.

They weren't selling trucks. They're just doing numbers. Just doing numbers. But in the 70s, think how many times you go into a liquor store and there's people waiting online for fucking bingo tickets. That's what, there was no bingo tickets in the 70s.

These places, were taking numbers. Well, what about, and I don't know if your mom did this or not, but what Diaz had at the bodegas where you could just knock on the door, which is crazy to me, because how do you know you were talking earlier if you trust people?

It just sounded, the way he described it in the documentary made it seem like you could just walk in and knock, and then anyone could buy anything. No, no, that's not true. You can't just walk into a bodega and buy a fucking kilo. They've got to know you. You've got to be cleared, especially your gringo. White guy's not going to.

walking to a bodega and he used to you up and get a kilo they might get a gun in their fucking head but they're not getting a key right because when he went i think was he got he cleared man when he was describing and he was like you just walk in you knock and yeah you know because you're his client he had 450 clients fuck at 20 years old making hundreds of millions of dollars rolled through 100 millions you know he probably cleared about a million a month whatever it was i don't know what his numbers were but they were you know he was he was clear he's paying me 10 grand the week he didn't feel it well eight grand but actually baron was getting two off the top i didn't know about

Cocksucker. Sure, why not? And then I gave him a grant for doing his job. Fuck, yeah, yeah. No, that's it, man. He got you a little finding his fee better. He got his gig out of it, and I was giving him something off the hour,

I would pot, you know, because I like to take care of people. I keep everybody happy. That's a crazy situation with Baron. If I had known Adam was bringing a million a weekend, I would have tripled my fucking salary. And I didn't even worked at the end. Let me tell you something.

In Miami? The same stuff was going on. Oh, yeah. But once a month, these guys would hit the ass, just to keep them in line. Just to let them know. We're going to get them next month. Don't worry about them.

Pay us again. You're saying the cops would... Dog, those river cops, look them up. I was with them. Look those fucking savages out. I was with them. To Miami River Cops? Look them up.

Same thing. Cubans who got hired with delinquents. Robin Rodriguez was with me in Marion. Who got hired because there was no background checks. under juvies. And they got hired and they got together. These guys were shooting people and throwing them in the fucking river.

Shooting you, taking your drugs, throwing you in the fucking river. Tremendous. And when they were getting it. That story's a little overplayed. But let me tell you something. But they did die. When they were getting out of jail,

in 1998, these savages were getting out of jail in Coconut Grove. They gave one of them a job as a cook. They fucking got him fired. They put signs up around the next. neighborhood. They were pissed at this guy.

They were pissed at those cops, though. Well, they still do not to me today, Joey. I can't get a fucking job. Where he goes? If someone calls up and says, Dowd's working, he's the dangers to the fucking community. I don't want my wife working where he's working.

It still goes on to it, scumbags. Yeah. This only takes one prick. It could be 99,000 good cops, one prick out there that wants to keep the hammer on your neck or the knee against your throat or something. It just happened to me a couple months ago. I fucking lost my job

Well I got called in on my job They put me on administrative suspension Because there's documentary and everything Because some cop called up And said his wife's in danger Dowd's working there Now there's

There's a hundred cops Wives that worked there This one cop is a prick Because he probably got his lunch money stolen from him years ago And No one will tell me who he is Probably the same scumbag That told my son he couldn't play baseball

Because his daddy was corrupt When he was six years old Kicked my son off the fucking baseball team now what job did you have i worked in mechanical services in the hospital okay i see it yeah so you can't keep a i understand now okay yeah yeah stuff out there for i don't understand why you got a conviction doesn't i one of these cop departments i would well i did do some work with the mypd for a little bit i did a two two two day series for for films to help train recruits and staff you know superior offices and stuff like that but

it just takes one prick, you know, that makes a phone call. Today, the fucking newspaper was at my house, talking about these cigars, the 7-5 cigars, saying that Dowd's hooked up with drug dealers and making fucking drug moves again. This is the kind of shit. I mean, the last person that you should be looking for making drug moves is Michael Dowd right now.

It's like putting a fucking bullseye on my back or something like that. Anyway, this is what you deal with when you fall down in life. There's scumbags out there that I don't want to give you a Listen, this is America. Land of Second Chances, right? Don't have a fucking felony today. What happened with you, Joey, when you were trying to get a job after getting out? You know, you got a little feedback.

There was a machine gun involved. There was a kidnapping, you know. That always raises eyebrows and flags. Oh, yeah. Well, you can understand that. And then I got into comedy. Thank God. And I would put it out there before anything was.

said. Right. But there was, you know, I got a job with Fisher Honda. They came back and said, we got a background check. I got a background check done at National Rent-A-car. The owner came back and I said, what are you going to do? I said, what are you going to do? I'm here 20 hours a week for nine bucks an hour. Yeah. I've been here three months. You just got the report back. What do you are you doing? Am I good? Well, my insurance. What do you want to do? Insurance. You're right. The partner told him, let him stay. He's been great. 90 days. He's a comic. He's here on time. He stays overtime if we need them. It's a hard call, especially now because everything's corporate.

I feel very bad for the, I'm not going to lie to it. This is the first time I'll be empathetic on that subject. Right. Because it's corporate now. Right. Everything is on one fucking tick. Everything is on one screen. They pay a service, a security service, thousands a month to be connected to a police department.

NCIC and within 24 hours you get your report on this person. Yeah. And you make your decision from that. Yeah. The problem is, what do we do? You tell a guy, you know, you were a criminal once. Now you've got to continue to be a fucking criminal. Or, you know, well, you did, you know, maybe you're not even a criminal, Joe.

Maybe you just did something. You know, you committed some crime. You know, people live the life of crime, and there's people that commit criminal act. There's two different type people out there. And what happens is they end up spending their life. chasing, you know, chasing some kind of peace and job and employment. I mean, it's, think about the regular black kid coming out of the fucking joint. His family is not there for him to support him.

I thank God I had a family that was there to support me and help me through this. And still today, thankfully they are. But if you didn't, you know, I'd be out there slinging fucking bricks like a bricklayer, just to be because, who else is going to hire me? Just really, it's fucking horrible. I don't think they hire felons at McDonald's, do they? I can check, but they probably don't. I mean, it's

I can see where... Let me tell you something. I get out of jail. I get a job at McDonald's. How long does it last before I stab a motherfucker? You know what I'm saying? You eat one of those fish fillets. You start stabbing motherfuckers.

Yeah, yeah, I don't really. And again, there's two views to this. There's the one American view that will say, well, fuck you. You shouldn't have got a fucking felony. Right. Which is the back of my mind always, just to kick myself in the ass. Right. And then you had the other.

view that says, you know, now it's time to tighten your pants. I'm going to give you an example. I get arrested. Okay, you got to listen to the story. It's going to be a couple of minutes, so hang in there. I get arrested. I'm out on bail. I'm looking for a job because my whole world's falling down. I go

and I apply for a job, listen to this, as a limousine driver. I walk in as the line's 50 deep because the economy's hurting. It's 50 deep. I'm like 49. Behind me is another 50. I get inside an hour and a half online. I interview with the guy in a room like this.

He says to me, you're Michael Dowd. I go, yeah. He picks the newspaper up. He goes, is this you? I go, yeah. I get up to turn around and walk away. Like I'm not going to get a fucking job. He goes, you're hired.

He says, have you ever driven a limousine before? I said, at the Whitestone pound. I moved him around a few times. He goes, don't worry. We'll teach you. He goes, I'm an ex-cop. I'm retired from me. the job he says I'm gonna take care of you he says you need a job more than anybody right now

okay now that's the fucking mentality you're supposed to run into what happens the bitch fucking comes to me and says to me Mikey what are you doing for work Kenny I said well Kenny I got a decent job but where where I'm driving a limba where he's he said what do you want what do you get about where I'm fucking drive I'm trying to hide from him why because I know something's not right when he asked that where you're driving says I'm driving a limousine I he says where I said, I don't know. It was in the fucking newspaper. I found the air.

I called it up. Two days later, I buy the fucking $300 suit. My last $300 loose dollars because they got everything jammed up on me. The feds got everything. The state's got everything. They took my fucking change jar. They got everything. I call the office up.

I go, so when do I see? What time is my ride tomorrow? Like a Friday. And they go, oh, we got some bad news for you. What's the bad news? I just put $300. My last $300 on a suit. black fucking dead suit whatever you call you know from driving dead people or whatever limousine

fucking suit and the guy goes listen I can't tell you this but I'm going to tell you anyway he said the cops came here and told me not to fucking hire you and that if they did if if they did hire me that they would put the pressure on his business open his books up and this guy's like like I can't go through this bullshit this is half cash business he says I fucking go to jail myself for hiring you He said, I'm sorry. I can't, but I can't hire you. When you shut that out of place with fucking...

The lover Christ, now they want to fucking torment your life. You're in a good story. Yeah. So I end up with no fucking job. So that's when they come in with this whole other bullshit that they end up, roper doping me in the movie. I don't want to give the ending up, but that's why that happened. Well, like, what is your answer when someone says,

why should we hire you? Because you can see where it just fell in. It can seem someone you might not. I want to work with. Right. Scary, whatever. The reason they should hire somebody is look at him as a human being first. Secondly, say, this guy is an adult male, not a 21-year-old kid out partying all week long. He needs a fucking job.

He just came out of the joint. Let me be the good soul to give the guy an opportunity because he needs a job. He's got a probation officer that's going to be here three, four times a week checking on him. I don't know. Maybe that don't make sense. Lee, you're an editor. Right. You go on there 9 o'clock at night.

You're at 6 in the morning. there's two other guys there with you. You just got heard that they're hiring an extra editor at night. This guy just came out of the chair for doing 12 fucking years. Can you please shut that? I'm doing. Twelve fucking years for being a corrupt cop in New York. Are you petrified Lisa I had in your world?

You came from a different place, a different world. But I don't think they tell you what... Are you giving the guy a second chance? How does a guy like you feel? But I think that's... I think for ex-cop, I don't think I'd be as scared unless it was like an ex-cop who killed people, maybe. And I think that's how I would think people would look at it. But here's the thing, though, and this is what these companies, even if they're small, don't want to take that chance.

So legally, they're just like, no felons. Because they, who's going to make the decision that Mike's cool and a drug dealer's not? So, like, they just don't want to have to make that choice. Even though it was against the law for them, discriminate you and not hire you because of a felony, unless it specifically, related to the job at hand like so you rob the bank so that you can't be a banker you know you know you uh you stamp little uh chick kids you can't be a babysitter you know you raped the chick you can't work at the you can't work yeah right you know they got to be you know that's a fucking nightmare right but you can fucking hang a fucking piece of sheet rock or you know or you can turn a wrench in an office building so

my mom is a lawyer and i told that we were having you one and she said oh i like i mean i she thought that you couldn't profit off of a crime. So she's correct. Is that the case or? Okay, so profit. What's where am I, first of all, where am I making any money right now?

I'm speaking, you know, I'm earning on what I do, not what I've done, right? So one, two, if they make a movie, you know, there isn't, you know, the victims are what? Drug dealers that, you know, got robbed?

I don't know. How do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, know, some guy from East New York and I've got on a, fucking phone, he sold a half a million for me

or the $10,000 for me, I want it back? Who is a victim? So is that? Joey, help me out here. Who's the fucking victim? Jesus Christ, you're out there? You're a cop? You know? Shake down a local drug dealer

on the corner. Man, it was it was the 80s, bro. It started in the 50s. Yeah. Well, I was there to do one of the 80s. You know, it's. crack every kid in the corner had a fucking brick under his arm and a gold chain around his neck that fucking picture in the beginning the kid on the bike with a gun fuck he's a young kid yeah well that's

usually that's who got the guns in new york city was buck wild new york city was buck wild it was exciting though new york city was buck it was fucking wild it was excited for half the people who listen to the show these new yorkers you ran to they're all bullshit artist i was a very fortunate dog to live and I've got fucking credentials you understand me I was very fortunate to live right up there and where I spent my summers on

148 street with Juan Tuero I mean I People sleeping on the floor I fucking needles in their arms I fucking saw it go down Bullets flying over and fucking You're hearing shots all night long And you walk out of here and you hear these guys

There's no bagels out here there's no pizza And you're like oh that guy's real these guys are fucking When I saw you talk, you and Chicky and Walter, that big lurchy motherfucker, I'm like, these guys are real old school New Yorkers. When that testimony, they're asking you questions. People don't understand that type of, you know, this is how it's done. I don't give a fuck what you think, you dumb fuck. You know, you guys don't even talk to your own brothers and sisters.

And you're sitting there judging me. Meanwhile, I'm out here taking bullets. And listen, if this guy saw a gun, I see that fucking gun. That's just the way the fuck it is. What are you going to fucking die here? We're out here for our lives for 32-5 a year plus overtime. Well, you were my fucking courtroom. I'm in a fucking, I'm in a fucking, I'm in a car one time.

I was in my fucking jury case. I'm in a car one time. You know, when I was fucking five, my mom had a dry cleaner on Grand Concourse. up there in Tremont Avenue and it was well known in the neighborhood that the dry cleaner was the front business, was the watch

but all across those buildings on that, the four buildings on that street they would move every week. Every week they would move. Every 10 days they would move apartments and those apartments I told you guys they had a blackboard and they had a black guy cooking

and they had a guy, three of guys answering phones with tables. And once a week, a cop would walk up three flights of stairs. He would say hello. They'd treat him like he was fucking family. Okay? They'd shake his hand. He'd come in, hugged the black guy. A white guy, 1969, hugging a black guy.

Yeah, they're all killing each other. Tasting his fucking pastrami. Because it was well known. The guy made the best pastrami and the best spaghetti. Right. Like, everybody knew. Black Mike. spaghetti better than the Italians.

The Italians can't pay. Sausage. I'm upset about that. Just something spectacular. I love a good deal. And then the guy would turn around and they would hand the guy in the and the guy would shake hands to the guy. In fact, he'd take money from the envelope and put a number

in. Listen, put 517 and 20 bucks. We win 10, you win 5, you give me back. And it was well known when he went around. I would see his badge. And it's And it was accepted. And the first time, I think the second time or the third time, I questioned it,

and they told me how it worked. If somebody at night kicks the fucking window or the dry cleaner, the cops are going to come here first if there's a fire across the tub. They're going to come here first and sit here and guard the dry. And I accepted that. Right. It was part of the way it was. That's just the way it was.

It was just the way it was. Well, we used to close our bodegas. You know, like, and they weren't even necessarily dealing drugs. I mean, we'd have a couple of guys in the neighborhood that were good bodega guys. You know, you can go to get a sandwich without fucking getting poisoned. You can get a six pack of Budweiser. You can get free fucking cigarettes, some big red for a blowjob, whatever. You know, you got to take care of people.

So we, the guy was close at 11 every night. This one was at fucking 9.30. Whatever time they closed, you showed up. Made sure they closed. Give them a high sign. And tomorrow when you showed up in the afternoon, you got your sandwich. you got your sandwich, you got your 12-packed-nips, eight-pack of the nips, and a pack of marble, whether you smoke or not, he put those cigarettes in,

it didn't matter, and the gum, and see you tomorrow, see you later tonight, what time you work until tonight. You know, if you weren't on a job, you stop by, you roll through. You let people see you showing up. Hey, listen, it is what it is. That's, he got special attention. Just, you know, for a pack of gum and some cigarettes and a 12-pack or an eight-pack of little nips, the, remember the Budwise is the little nips.

They'll knock them right down. Real fucking quick. Cold. Cold motherfuckers. It's called bodega cold. In the back. These are called me a bodega, Mike. I don't know why.

And they smelled like the box. I still remember the cardboard. That smell. That smell of the cardboard. You have no idea. When I first started doing Coke, I hated fucking beer. I fucking hated it.

But I needed it to get the cocaine kicking. And I fucking hated it. But there was one beer can I loved. And there was cores nips. there were six-ounce little cores and the cop used to get them by the time he picked me up those cores nips were on fire in that police car jack and i started drinking those little cores nips and then he introduced me to the ones you're saying the the eight pack the butt the bud the bud nips oh the bud nips and six in the case no eight it was eight eight eight nips but six of those in the case oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah six Who the fuck you think you're dealing with? Some fucking novice or leave. In a case of regular beer, there's four, six-pack.

And a case of nips, there's six. There's six. Okay. Six, eight-packs. So there's a story, Walter and I, I don't know if it's not in the movie, I don't think. But Walter and I are sitting there. I take him to Walter's first day with me. He didn't know how to work with me.

But I, you know, he was a kid to me. He was a baby. Monster he is, but he was a baby for me. So I take him to this bodega. Riverdale and Hinsdale. It was the fucking worst place in the planet. Riverdale and Hinsdale, mark my words. Worst place in the planet.

I had a connection with the bodega owner there. He loved me because I just showed up. He was a legit bodega guy. I don't know what else he did, but he wasn't selling cocaine, okay? But he sold his wares there, whatever it was. I go in a four hamburgers. Four hamburger in a bodega. And four hamburgers with cheese, some fries, and an eight pack of nips.

Walter's like, I said, shh, just, just, just, just, just, just, it's going to be okay. Just come. He gets in my car, my private car. We go, we pick up the nips, we get the burgers, we go back to my post. We're on the same footpost. We're sitting there in the car. We see this car over the unmarked car, and we wave to the fucking douchebag. We don't know who it is.

But we figure it's like a rip unit, you know, a floating unit that comes in and out of the burrow, whatever. They're looking for some robbery suspect. back there's somebody. We don't know who the fuck they're looking for, but we know it's not us. Uh-huh. So we sit in the car. We started eating on burgers, knocking back the nips, throwing them out the fucking window because it's the ghetto. You just throw shit out the window, right? And it turns out to be the guy in the fucking movie, Tramoli. The guy that says the back of the hair stood up when I saw doubt. He was a perp. I hated that guy. Yeah, a brick. He's sitting there watching us throw these bee cans out the fucking window. It was him. We

said a load of the guy that was following me fucking 4.5 years throwing him nips out the window he goes and picks them up about a month later, three weeks later we get called in for investigation they call me first they're so fucking stupid they call me first and they go

were you this, were you, no no no no no okay I go back to the precinct and here comes Walter who I've never seen him since that day now I see him the next time two weeks later I said Walter they're going to call you in and ask you if I was drinking.

I know they are. They didn't ask me. They wouldn't ask me that question. If they'd ask you if I was drinking, you'd say no. The guy's on fucking probation. He's on the job of fucking, like, less than a year. Now he's getting brought to a departmental hearing. Be grilled about me because they're trying to fire me. And he goes in there and they say,

we don't give a fuck about anything you did. We want to know if thou was drinking beer. He says, I got the cans, right? He went around and picked up the cans. he tried to get fingerprints off. I don't know if he did or he didn't, but apparently he didn't because if he did, right, I would have been banged.

Joe Trimbole, the guy in the fucking movie. So we were waving at him. I had known what's throwing a beer out of the fucking window. We don't know. It was him. So Walter fucking held his mud. He's a rookie cop. He was going to lose his job any second now. And he didn't turn me in.

And as we talk about the little nips. So the bodegas, the hamburgers, the little nips. Yeah, it was a good life, you know. Walt had learned to hold his mud really early on. he ended up all in his mud throughout, you know. It's crazy, like, Tromboli. Trouly and Troster, I think, was the D.E. It was DEA.

Fucking. When I think cop, I think, like, you or chicky, like, just, like, more tough. And these guys are, like, nerds. Like, they're nerds. Come on. And they're not. And, like, they're the cops who were, like, sitting inside. And that's fine.

But they were, I mean, granted, the shit that you did was a lot of it was terrible. Yeah, for a cop to do. But. Terrible. like they're talking about it like that guy who was he was so scared when they were chasing him oh Joe Hall

yeah and he was like he was terrified being chased with like a little gun no they're chasing me I was like that would not have happened no no no we would have turned around probably sort of fired back whatever I don't want to disparage Joe Hall he was a real true fucking hero

but but yeah he has a different approach he would run any other way I might have turned around and fake left and went right and fired back at them I don't know, but I wasn't in that situation, so I can't judge. It was such a different time.

And it was so long ago, but not really. It was so long. Like, when I think about the 90s in New York, it was 20,000 years ago for me. In reality, it was 20 years ago. I mean, it's a different place today. Brooklyn's a totally different place today. It's almost like fucking Disneyland. When you compare it to how it was back in the 80s,

Listen, every, I could go to bed at night. Back in, and I used to do this because I wanted to make sure my business was good. I go to bed every night, and I pick every single block. I go from Van Sindren, which was the western end of the precinct, to like city line, which was the other end of the precinct in Queens. And our precincter went from Van Cindran, which is the railroad tracks over the Queens. I went to every single block and picked out every spot on that block that where the dope spots were. and every single block had one or more.

You're talking about 50 blocks, 60 blocks why, maybe, right? Every block had one, and most blocks had four and five. And my exercise at night was to know each and every spot before I went to bed. So that if I got a call, I would know that's good. Got to go. Got to go here. Got to go there. Maybe I had a business mind, huh?

What the fuck was wrong with me? And a lot of people, even like Lee, doesn't understand this. Okay, Lee, so the 80s hit. And this is from my experience, just to let you guys know when you talk about bodegas and stuff like that. The 80s hit, and we were copping Coke in Jersey. And all of a sudden, I had the school teacher. I swear to God, a high school teacher,

that we had a conversation one day, and he had some powder, and he sold it to me, or we worked something out, and then about a month later, me and him, having a conversation and he told me his got in come through if i knew anybody and i go no and he goes i got one spot take a ride with me i'm 18 years old right yeah right figure this out it's uh may of 82 i was just a i lost kid i had a job i don't know what i was making a week but my main money was picking up a papearls drawing a gram of coke on it small time but it didn't matter

i was 18 i wasn't looking to be fucking tony montana Tony Montana wasn't even, I hadn't even come out yet. He takes me into the city. We have a great time. He takes me into the city. It's a short hike. We go through a George Washington Bridge over. We hook a fucking right down the expressway there.

And then we cut up on 1.35 or whatever the fuck it was, all the way to 1.35 in Amsterdam. And again, we park in front of a bodega. You walk out. This is 1982, guys. you walk out on the middle of the block there was like a house or whatever building but there was a super right down below

down below yeah but these people on these last three or four or five blocks had dug them out and turned them into barbershop where you make keys or commercial commercial places but there was this one place that was a disco okay there were a disco there wasn't licensed or anything it was just a disco And they sold beer, they sold booze.

You can buy anything. And there was a bar. You can buy anything. And in the daytime... No license, though. And in the daytime, they had three chicks at the bar. They had a bartender. They had a couple guys.

Nobody was dancing. And you walked into the DJ booth. You walked in. There was two turntables like we have right here. In the middle of a turntable, there was a little itsy-bitsy-fucking scale, a little triple beam. And over the fucking door, over the door, before you closed it, the guy stuck his hand there.

and the door ledge dropped so there was two types of Coke one for 80 and the other one was for a hundred and one was for 250 or eight ball and the other one was for 225 and eight ball and he gave you a sample of boat

and you did him and I was dog I'm fucking 18 years old now I had grown up and I had seen this at my mom's bar but now I'm in it I'm in the room with fucking adults I'm living large and guess what his name He never took me over.

We left. We went back to Jersey. But the people on the way out said, hey, you know you're welcome here. Done. That's all I needed to fucking heal. You got a fucking honor. Oh, my God.

So I went back to Jersey and said, listen, people. I'm in. I found this new place, Colombians. They fucking 275 a bang. That means I'm getting 25 just for going over. Before I cut it, too. I'm going to bang that motherfucker with aspirin. or Inautaur

or bodybuilding powder. I'm not fucking around. This is 19 fucking 82 lead. And I'm going down there. Fish scale. And this started something that just went on. I was over there every day. Nine and stuff.

Seven days away, over at least once. But I knew all of them. Bang, bam, boom. People would be dancing. I go over there at two in the morning. One in the morning. It was fucking hysterical. One day I go over there.

Cops everywhere. cops are fucking everywhere what do you do I didn't do anything they had shot somebody right there and there was a dude on the corner that went like this go that way that's not I'm like what did you do when he saw the cops

yeah you still wanted to shit the cops went there to bust the coal operation they were there and the body pick this fucking moron up that's it once we pick this moron up we get back the business is fine business as usual the cops were in on this fucking

this was before crack this is way year before crack. This is three years before crap. This is crazy league. Yeah, this is, this is, right, 50 yards away, they'd be selling blow the body, 18 cops, coroner, ambulance, CSI. Hilarious. That's fucking 50 yards away, like nothing happened.

I could go over there and pick up three, four, eight balls a shot. I was a kid. Yeah. That was a fucking kid. Invincible. You know, I was doing nothing. You know, I thought in my mind I was Joe Montana. Making shit happen.

the places, Lee. How do you get in there? You just get in there. And guess what? From going in there, now that guy told me there's a place. I got a better spot. I got a better spot. You don't have to come all the way over here. Right. I go, what are you talking about? And it's less traveling less money. And he goes, you get your dicks on. And I go, what are you talking to me? He goes, listen, you get

off the fucking town. He goes, I want you to go over, boom. And right there, go on to 81. Before you get to east side, there's a parking garage. going there and tell them you want to go to the ninth fucking floor and instead of going on the thing they put you in elevator they close you go to the ninth floor and they'd be like a disco and shit your car would be right there amazing how the fucking city you'd walk in and you'd pick up whatever you wanted

there'd be black chicks white chicks purple carpets they'd suck your pole you get back in your car back to fucking jersey can you imagine you would be running together before I left to Colorado like a pussy in April 25th of 1983, this is

where I was going as a young man. And it got off after that. That was the beginning. The place where I used to talk about on 148th Street, where I grew up, that was the hottest weed spot in the city. They even had a punch card. This is 1980, fucking two and three.

You had a punch card. They had a punch card. They called it the master mix. You either got the sense, the Buddha tie, or the motherfucking master mix. And once you bought 10-tens, you got a free 10.

Are you kidding me? Did you have a punch card? Did they have a punch card? They gave you a punch card. And you had a punch card. The dealer knew you. And it was the same thing. The downstairs, you went right to the downstairs,

knocked on the gate, and the fucking guy would come on. Let me get the master mix. Open a box. Boom. And you were right back on the fucking, you took a cab or whatever the fuck he did back to Jersey.

That's how quick it was. Lee, it was amazing. When I went back there, swear to God, guys, three years later, I couldn't find marijuana. Marijuana was a ghost. There was not. And I'm here to tell you, I wouldn't lie there, nobody here. I was looking for weed to take back to Colorado.

I was about to go back to Colorado. I didn't know nothing about, you know, who dealers. I was going to either Colorado Springs. I didn't know nobody in Colorado Springs. I didn't want to land in Colorado with no weed at all. At least let me have at least 220 to get the parties started. Get you started. You know what I'm saying?

I'll smoke a little bit, take two hits. Share something and all the sudden. And all of a sudden, you meet somebody to the name. You're in the mix. You're in the mix, that, right. So I didn't want to go. I went to 148th Street, where for three to four years prior, I was buying weed twice to three times a week.

And the people were like, weed. Shit. That don't even exist here. There's no money. There's no money in the weed back. This is Crackville, Jack. They were selling trade bags. There was so much little money.

There's no money in weed back then. What is this? Like, what? is it about crack that just made everything go crazy? I never did crack personally, but I can tell you from doing a little toot now and then. It's, I don't know, it makes you

euphoric, it makes you want to fuck even though you can't half the time. Lee, it was the craziest fucking thing you could see. Right now, for years, I could sit with somebody and go. They could sit with me and go, I joined. I went through your records. You got your first weed license in 2007. down for me. And what I saw then, and what I see now

is tremendous growth, but it's nothing like the growth I've seen a cocaine. Everybody went from doing acid for $3 and nickel bags and pills for six and quailutes for $4 to paying $100 a grant. And there was no samples, there was no in between.

Chicks got samples because you got to me in to suck your dick to buy a bag. But guys didn't get samples. And crack you know it was like the truth let's be honest you know black people smoke crack and white people smoked

free base right which basically it made it it affordable for people powder cocaine was expensive crack cocaine was cheap so now the urban guys whether they were black Spanish or ghetto white

they could afford what the big shots were snorting in fucking studio 54. Am I wrong? That's what it was. So now the regular kid in the street that could never afford to get high because it was too much money was now getting high and it just, and I tell

the story, it was like, you ever see, you watch TV, you watch the fucking guy, they're storm chasers, you ever see a storm chaser? Yeah. They're in a fucking van and they got the cameras and they're talking on their mics and they're saying, oh my God, there it is, there's a store. It's like a funnel. Crack was like a fucking funnel. It came in, set

down, did a little whirling bird, and sucked everybody in with it. It was like a fucking disaster. And you know what? Today, half those neighborhoods, half those people are gone. Like, 50% or better are gone. And probably 25% of the police department's gone with them, too. In my world,

it showed up mid-84. 84-85. At mid-84, by 85, it had taken a stronghold. I was gone. I was somewhere where crack wouldn't hit till 15 years later. And that was in Denver.

It wasn't going to hit Aspen in snowmast. They were smoking freebase. Now, in 82, when I graduated high school, whatever happened, that same week, and Timmy listens to this shit.

He's going to howl his ass off. We bumped into this dude. We were getting that coat from the city, and we bumped into this dude, Steve Vettlantis, who after everything would always say, tremendous. So he comes to me,

and my buddies, he's like, listen, I got this. pimp. He wants to buy blow. I hear that you got the best shit. You get it from Harlem. We want that shit. We want the shit that's tremendous.

So I fucking whack this guy two times. We take him down to Tunnel of the Avenue down there to these fucking ratty hotels. And we go in. He's got two white chicks who look like they fucking got beat up and stabbed. And it's a black dude. He's got like a bikini

on. And we give him the coke and he fucking does something. And he's like, dog, go get this motherfucker. This is the shit that killed Jesus. And this guy starts doing some shit. This is the summer of 82. This is June of 82. He starts doing some shitly.

And he starts cooking it. Like, not cooking it. What the fuck did he do? He did something really weird. He shook it up. And then he put it on this thing. And he cooked it with a blow torch. And then he put it through a sock.

Then he took the scrapings off. And he put it on another glass. He did this like three times, and he gave us all a piece, and we smoked it, and this was freebase. Oh, Jesus. And me and my buddy shot up to this place called East West on 48th Street and Bergenlein. It's the side there. It's still fucking there. It's a record store head shop. They got, like, all the bootlegs from the garden and all that type of shit.

But at the same time, they sell, like, the double barrel shotgun. You know how many thousands of dollars I spent on double barrel shotguns? double viral shotguns had two things for your nose and one glass with a scoop with a little fucking thing that held like a fucking quarter gram you put that in the bag and you got it and you blew it into both your fucking nose holes oh my god tremendous

I used to sit on a wall coat this was with the coke this was with the coke but you could also buy a free base kit for 4999 I invested in one of those things you invested after the black dude gave me the fucking taste and me and my buddies called the camel the same dude that took me

me into the city, get me to Coke from the Colombians at that time, and he brought me like 12 grams of blowing bottles, and me and my buddy sat there all night and cooked it up, and that was my adventures of free basing. I never freebase again. What a waste of fucking time. We were romanticizing this thing. Where do you find a free basing kit? At this place, East West. They still have? Not now. It's 30 fucking years ago. Well, they must have been everywhere, right? I don't know. At the time, this was our new hot trend, this guy named Hollywood Anderson.

had put a bunch of A bunch of Hollywood A bunch of people Oh what's his name Richard Pryle of himself on fire Free Basin cocaine This was the new hot fucking thing So at least I tried it once

And I didn't let myself on fire Right right And it became It was too much drama for me But in the ghetto It became something different You could take an ounce of Coke Get it for 900 bucks

Put fucking turpentine In that motherfucker Paint Gorilla glue And stare at the thing around and get it three times back and sell those for fucking ten dollars a piece and make

rocks. I thought they were rocks. Unbelievable. I thought they were robbing the people when I first found them in the street. What the fuck are they doing? They're robbing these people. They're selling, make them believe it was cocaine. We didn't know what it was. We weren't sampling it for Christ sakes and sure enough it was little rocks.

Cocaine. Now, let me ask you question because I watched a documentary last week, bits and pieces of I wanted to today with my wife. You're out there banging out with these people in the early 90s. Mid-90s.

It was mostly middle till 880s. Where's the mafia and all of this right now when you guys are doing this? They're trying to get in. They're trying to get in. But the Colombians ain't letting them in. Trying to get into the drug trade? Yeah.

Yeah. They actually come. Some came to me and asked me to see if I can get to 500 kilos. Thank God I didn't. Thank God I didn't. I don't want to see the guy's name. But he's still alive. Who's kicking the table?

You let him. I'm getting nervous. That was weird. In this whole documentary, I'm sitting. The wise guys didn't control cocaine. Don't ask me why. Well, what were they doing at that time in the streets? They weren't doing gambling.

They had already started... They did a lot of hookers. They did a lot of hookers, and they were doing gambling. They were doing the Joke-a-Pokers and all that... All that Joke-a-Pokers were big. Big, that's right. And then the illegal gambling halls, they had all... They controlled all of that, too.

So, yeah. But they were doing a lot of truck heists and stuff, like, you know, 4 million cans of tuna, you know? A 20 cents a can, they just made a half a million dollars. You know, they would do JFK truck heists and stuff. That was their gig back then. And, you know, they did a lot of heroin. They were doing the heroin trade from Sicily in wine bottles.

That was a weird time period. And I watched the interviews with you. And the plan was to sit here and watch half tonight in a little while just to break it down a little bit and let Lee ask you questions to myself or you or we just go to fucking chit-chat. We'll give it a shot. Let's just see what you think. You ready?

Yeah, sure. Now, before we start this, hold on, how long before you got out of jail that this was already in the works? This wasn't in the works. At all? At all? When you got out of prison?

No, I was done with this life. This light that's confronted me today. When did this come back? When did they come to you? In 2012, they came to me and said, listen, are you interested in doing involved with this Malin Commission special? We're doing a documentary about them.

I said, fuck the Malin Commission. got a story for you. And they came to meet me and they agreed to do it the way I asked them to. This is what they got. They got one of the best documentaries in the fucking world. Let's fucking get it started, though.

If you please, Mr. Chairman and Commissioners, the commission called Michael Dowd. Where were you leaving? September of 93. I'd ask the chairman to please administer the oath. Doud. Can it earn or?

Tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, the cost of your testimony during these proceedings. I'll help you guide. I do. Thank you, Mr. Now, would you please be seated. I was fucking shot now. I was in a hole for fucking a year. I was in a hole for fucking a year.

Mr. Dowd, I'd like you to please keep your voice up and speak into the microphone so that everyone can hear you. Were you once a police officer of the New York City Police Department? Yes, I was. How long were you a police officer? Ten years and five months. Mr. Dowd, during those 10 years as a police officer, did you use your authority to commit crimes and acts of corruption in violation of your sworn duty to uphold the law? Yes, I did.

While you were in uniform and on duty, did you commit thefts? Why do you think we're here? Yes. Did you commit extortion? Why did you agree to this? Yes. Did you engage in narcotics trafficking? Yes.

Did you protect drug operations? Yes. Did you engage in personal drug use? Yes. Damn it. How many crimes in acts of corruption? Do you estimate you committed as a New York City police officer? Hundreds.

I didn't want to lie. I should have said thousands because I'd been more accurate, but I didn't want my mother to get mad at me. What are you trying to blow my air loads out or something? Jesus Christ, you know, I'm fucking death. Is now sweeping New York. Justice Department officials now say there is a direct link between crime. Crime and cocaine. Really?

Heavy money and heavy violent drug traffic is all around. It was like the heyday of crack. Every city was having trouble with violence. Don't move! New York City at the time was having 3,500 murders a year, and East New York was the worst part of that. Jesus Christ. It was a war zone.

They were empty buildings. They were just living in them and running electric from the street pole to the houses. It looked like Beirut. East New York at the time was very, very poor. So you had all of the socioeconomic contribute. to crime, all of that converging, and it just, it was a hotbed for crime in New York City. East New York, Brooklyn, 7-5 precinct, back in the late 80s, it was the deadliest precinct in the country.

There's my boy, Walter. And what were you making at that time legit, there from the department? About 28,000. To get shot at. Once a fucking week. More than once a week runs north to south. That's a slow week. Really?

The serious, in the beginning? In the beginning, did you get shot at all? No, I never did. I was lucky. I learned how to avoid. No drama. Nobody came at you with a knife. Nobody came at you with a needle.

There was knives. There was AIDS, blood. There was AIDS blood. All that shit happened. But, you know, I learned how to not get shot at. I'm not going to say, because people get shot at all the time, unbeknownst. But I was just fortunate maybe. And I learned, like, you didn't have to be a real fucking hero.

because they die. Heroes die. So I didn't want to die. So I didn't like, I didn't stop bullets with my, because they had no vest on anyway. So I would have fucking been dead. I never wore a bulletproof vest. I just thought it was like, passe.

It's like, you're not a man if you need a bulletproof vest. Thank God they got a kid's life was, Walter Yorker's fucking nephew was saved this weekend by a bulletproof vest. Walter's nephew. So thank God he wore it. But anyway, I'm just talking about what I was. I just didn't. I thought it was like not.

macho, whatever. It's the way it was back then. When you were in, you were all in. It was gone. It was on. See, in that mentality. When I was in,

I was in. There was no, there was no, there was no walking backwards. It was walking out, walking in the front and out the back, not walking in and backing out. I woke up thinking about it.

When you're walking around looking for an envelope, you'll find one of the vent. every fucking day. It's always something. You find one. It was fucking crazy. It was crazy.

I'd be walking down the street and this gate would be open. I'm staying with a couple right now. I don't want to say their name. And they said the 80s were fucking amazing. There was so much money in the street. No, there was tons of money on the street. A fucking moron

couldn't make a living. When I think about the 80s, Lee, fucking idiots were buying boats and getting their dicks. suck in the fucking 80s. There was so much money. So fucking. Because a moron could buy 300 ludes a week. That's right. For a fucking...

It was a hundred dollars and sell them for four and make $300 profit three times a week and that's $900. That's fucking $3,600 a month. Plus you collect unemployment, plus you have some type of job that's... Maybe. Yeah. You have no idea how much money there was flush. Everybody was... First of all,

You got a part-time, you got a job. Everybody got a job. The hustle was you got a job that you got laid off. Right. So you're unemployment. Because you're 18, 19, 20. So you're seniority. It all goes by seniority.

So you get in there maybe two, three shifts a week. But those two or three shifts would be for 600 bucks. Right. So that's your rent and your car payment. You got that covered. Now you got the street to bang out. You know this guy who sold toasters. You could buy 300 quailudes a week.

It was the money. The money was amazingly. And then the place you worked for laid you off. So since you worked two days a week and made that money, you got the top niche. You got $4.50 a fucking week in those days or something. Are you fucking kidding me, Lee? Here you are getting unemployment, selling Kuelo, the little Coke.

Are you fucking kidding me? Gold to the fucking discos. It was crazy. The money was easy. It was crazy. It was crazy. There was no cameras. People were doing wacky shit.

People were chopping up more money. There was a lot more kickbacks. There was always fucking something. I was surviving. I was a fucking kid. I knew nothing about nothing, but I knew how to leave the house with three bucks and come home with 50 and 10 pills or a gram a blow or something.

You know what I'm saying? Amazing. So you learn how to have this underline. the radar type life. Just the credit card guys. Just the people who did under the line credit cards. People who lived off credit cards

but didn't ring $40. They could go to a Chinese restaurant seven days a week and get the lunch special like doctors and buy it special for the young to give them a special too. And sign for it and walk out of there because they weren't gavons. They weren't. They knew how to keep it.

It was fucking crazily. Don't be stupid. Don't be a go. I was actually wondering that. Do you think if you had toned it down a little bit in a few areas, you could have still done it for an entire career? I didn't have to tone it down. That was the fucking

problem. I pulled a vet into the lieutenant's spot. That's what I'm saying. I was asking him to her lock me up then, and they didn't do it. So that was like, what are you? What are you kidding? I just pulled my brand new call then. I left the sticker on the fucking window on purpose.

It's at 30, I think 6, 5 or something like that. was the sticker. I was making that year 36. Well, 32. I can't recall exact. Don't hold me to quote you. Fuck you. Anyway, and I put it in a lieutenant's spot

and, because he tried to bank my girlfriend. He was trying to bank my girlfriend. You know, and I just lost 1,500 large at Atlantic City, casino with the whole police union there. Everybody knew I lost 1,500. And then I pulled a brand new vet in a

Lieutenant's spot. And I left two paychecks in the fucking in the box, in the checkbox. The same fucking week. I mean, you can't make this up. 1,500 cashed the cop lost. I put the vet with the $36,000 price sticker in Lieutenant's spot. And I had two checks still in the box.

That's a month's pay I didn't pick up. What were you thinking? I wasn't really thinking. It was just, you know, just living. Like I said, when you were crazy, crazy, you were going deep. There was cops that were probably after 7-5. You knew who was taking money.

You know who took money. You know who didn't take money. But you know guys that kept it low beat, acted like they had the same pair of pants. And these motherfuckers had a whole. Those guys were good at it. Those guys were young. I was young.

I was young. I was 20-something. I was wanted to, you know, the bigger your car, the bigger your cock, right? Fuck. When you're 20-something, you don't give them. You're impervious. Nothing all can fucking.

I'm going to fucking get my chair, sit down, and you can suck my dirt. It was horrible. It was horrible. And you look back and you're like, what the fuck was I thinking? But you, at that time, you're like, it's not, and you felt like you were God. In that movie and the 7-5, you're like, it was my wife's turn. And I'm looking at you with this fucking guy. Why are you saying?

How many takes did that take without you was laughing the entire way? No, thanks. I still. stories for the way for what they are there's no reason for you to make them up just tell it the way it is and they put up a picture of your wife's car and you were like I didn't have a car

Kenny's like don't take it down it and I know I know the feeling that I was taking it I know the feeling I said that I was taking it oh my God I know the feeling I know the feeling don't ever tell me not to do something because it's happening I used to go crazy if you tell it how to do something

it's happening somehow I don't know why it just might even if you know it's the worst thing I knew it was bad I knew it was wrong I just had to do it I really related like to Kenny a little bit during it like oh my God like what are you doing

you would have been a great partner of mine let me tell you I wouldn't rant whatever you would have you may have you don't know what you're gonna do when you're confronted with that situation you know when the guy says because Kenny was facing more time than me because they had him in the goods you know they had him in his wife and, you know, his brother

in the fucking Marine Corps was in, you don't even know the stories. His brother was in the prison in Marine Corps. His cousin, Danny, was in the 7-3 precinct. He got arrested with us. His wife got pinched and he got pinched. Four people, and then he could have lost custody of his kids. And his pension. So what do you think?

How valuable am I as a friend to him? I mean, I'm the asshole today not realizing back then what he was faced with, you know? So you'll do anything the government asks you to do that. especially if you've got no metal the reason why you're sitting across from me

is just because by everybody got this fucking hay fever yeah because uh listen man I believe in a second chance you know that's nice you know what I see you and I know what you went through and guess what I would have done the same thing

I would have parked the fucking tank in the lieutenant spot if you were told me not to park you don't tell me to do something You know, don't fucking tell me. That pissed me off. Well, that was interparimental shit. You guys over here making... That was departmental.

You guys are making... Relationship. You guys are making 30 Gs a month. Yeah. Who gives a fuck? Who's fucking your girlfriend? Between the cheeseburgers, the envelopes, this, that, the extra fucking eight ball here. You're clearing 30 Gs a month.

Eight grand a fucking week times four is 32, $32,000. Plus, God knows what else you were clipping here and there. There was a little more. So, why? would you give a fuck that's when you take the homicides pay you go to fucking diaz and you go diaz there's a lieutenant at the police station he's fucking shaking me down

he says and he you kill him and the fucking brood they're fucking each other and you send a statement and you know what I needed your I needed your guidance back then joey I needed your guide but no no no you wouldn't even and you know what I didn't work with a gangstack I worked with Kenny Kenny wasn't a gangston who the fuck would have

nobody could stop you nobody and I know this they've been there They tried. Because it didn't matter. Many tried. Yeah. It's horrific when I think about it. And you know what's crazy?

Many tried to stop. Do you know that? That fucking guy in the film tried to stop me? Trambole? He says to me, he called me in when he's trying to bang me up. He says to me, down, stop it. I know what you do it.

What I'm going to say? Yes, sir. Fuck, no. He goes, I used to do it myself. This is internal affairs. I went, oh, really? To myself. Oh, really?

You'll never catch me, motherfucker. I chase him out of bars and Long Island, everything. Following me around with his trench coat on. It was crazy. He made it seem when he was talking about. He's like, there's an art to this. Yeah, he's like, yeah, there's an art to this guy.

There's an art to it. I chase him out of a fucking bar. I chase him out of precincts. He's a gangster. There is an art to what my man white that I was going. Oh, no, no, no. That's an art, Jack. No, I'm saying Trambole was making it seem like he was an artist and following somebody.

He followed me to fucking. Did he, did he tell the story? I got in a car one day in Long Island. he was following me. I didn't know he was following me at the time. I ended up getting a flat in Fayetteville, North Carolina. I pull over the side. There's a fucking, no kidding. There's a tornado coming in my direction. I'm racing to change the flat of my grandmother's car.

I take the statue of Mother Mary out of the trunk because we're bringing all the stuff down to Florida because she's moving. And who's behind me? He's Tramoli. He left the house thinking I was going to make a drug dealer in Brooklyn. He ended up following me to North Carolina. He went all the way to North Carolina? Yeah. On his day off, he led to follow me to North Carolina.

You believe that shit, though? It's crazy. When they want you, they fuck it. Well, he had, you know, he knew something. Well, he wasn't stupid. He was just foolish, the way he went about it. Those kids are coming in. They're saying they're getting shaken down.

My stepdad one time got arrested. And he was complaining that, you know, they turned in 12, but he really had 17. You know, you're surprised? Yeah, right? You're surprised? That's, that's the shipping. That's shipping.

That's shipping. That's shipping. That's what happened. He was pissed. Everybody, and at first you were like, 12, what the fuck had 20 in there? Now you fuck yourself more. You know what to piss you off? This is a little piss you off.

You're a cop, right? You shake a guy down, right? This is, this is happen. I shake these fucking kids down. They got 80 envelopes of fucking marijuana. They got some coke. They got a little bit of heroin. They got a whole laundry bag full of shit, right?

and they got a couple of knots in their fucking pockets so I go you know what I don't give a fuck about this stuff so I peeled off one of the knots I get about four or five hundred dollars I let the kids go they're young they're hospital I get a fucking call call the precinct right away 10-1 10-1 forthwith I didn't like the sound of that so I go I'm a block away from the precinct you want me to 10 no 101 fourth-with something's wrong That means he doesn't want me in the precinct. I call up, what's up, Lieutenant? He goes, someone's in the fucking

124 room making a complaint that you fucking took his money. I love this cock sucker. What a good man. I go, he goes, take care of it. We're keeping it at bay for now. I swear to God, what a fucking good guy. So I can't find their car.

I'm trying to find their car. I'm searching all of these pricks. They drove the car. I hit a three blocks from the precinct. and walk to the precinct to make this complaint against me. I go find their car. I see the car. I can't get in.

It's fucking locked. I go to the precinct. I said, the kid, listen, what's the problem? What are you doing here? He says, you know, officer, I had 800, 900, you know, half of it's missing. I don't know what happened to it. I said, did you check your fucking car? You're in here making a complaint?

What are you doing? I said, you're going to get me arrested off, get me in trouble. I'm sorry, but my money's missing. It's my mother's rent money. In $5 bills. his mother's rent money and he's got a bag of fucking refa coke and heroin

and everything else over here and he's worried about it his mother's fucking 500 he's a guy should be in prison for fucking three years right

I go to his car he opens the car I go get out of the fucking way get the fuck out of the way he moves over I go here asshole here's your fucking money

you fucking making a complaint against the cop who's doing his fucking job who let you go and all that drugs on you I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry he said get the

get that you're going to take the drugs I was going so let's book you for the drugs he would have given you the rest of his fucking mother's rent money in five I just wanted this thing to disappear you know when lieutenant calls you in and says there's a guy

threatened to make it and they all know him under investigation for the sisters before any of this went down were there any warnings Mike warnings that you saw little warnings the fucking captain called me in and the inspector called me in and said

dad can you put it in a 57 please which is a true transfer. I said, he goes, you guys seem to be burnt out. I said, okay, Captain, Lieutenant Inspector, put one in tonight. That was in fucking 1980

4 or 5. He said, you guys got to get out of here. You're fucking hot. Well, he didn't say those words, but you know, that's what he meant. You guys are burnt out. Can you please put in a transfer request? Okay, we get it. Because, you know, word starts getting around. You know, the 7-7 was going

down. Now, you know, can you guys please put in a transfer. In other words, I don't want to be around you guys when shit goes down. So we put the transfer requests in and no one would take us. You know, they have the option to take you at the other precincts. You know, I made phone calls called my rabbis. They made phone calls. I couldn't get out of the fucking 7-5. So they shipped me to Coney Island for the summer, which is where my whole career takes another turn with some cop tries to have me fucking killed. There's a whole fucking story that's not in this stuff. It's amazing. Half the stuff that That's not in this.

I don't want to get into that because we're talking about this, but there's a lot more. Let me do some shout-outs. We'll get this going here. We got Mike Down from the 7-5. Today, I googled you the other day and said that you're the dirtiest cop in New York City history. That is fucking tremendous. That's a fucking page of honor.

I want to give some shout-outs to my main band, Bob Lillingerus, always fucking coming through. I love him and his family. Bobby Sharon and Crystal always had a great time with Talking Lair Crystal Johnson and her husband Freddie Correa Tal Yafi, Pat Shea

Ali Bars and Dan Rangel I love you motherfuckers Thank you for all the birthday wishes It was tremendous league I've grown out He's in the fucking South Point band for life The nicest guy in America

I can't picture him getting thrown out For what none of your fucking business don't ask. But just that's what went down this week. I want to thank it when it came out

to the shows. The shows were packed and they were great. Thank you very much for all the support. I'm not on the road again until 3.11 up in fucking San Jose

and then 319 and Baker's Field motherfuckers. What are you doing for Patty's Day? Anything? Nothing. It's a Thursday.

Oh, it is? Sure, sure. Because I'm doing the 19th. Oh, okay. You got that time. Who do you think of them with some? No.

I'm checking you. You know, what the fuck do you do for St. Patty's Day here? Listen, when I was a kid, I'd go into the city. I'd stop at three or four restaurants. Eat a little bit, you know, get the pastrami. Yeah, you gotta have to. Get the fucking shit made with the Hudson River water. That's that fucking Flint water in disguise, the good stuff.

What's that girl? With the patch, nothing good come out of Flint? Yeah, and I'd fucking go back. You know, where do you have that now? So now the celebration is It is what it is, brother Things change You know

The whole world has changed In the last 20 fucking years You can't have a cocktail You get arrested If you drive It's, you know The whole world is fucked up today Think about it

Back then everybody could get drunk And have a good party in the street No one got arrested for it Unless they beat people up You know Today it's you can't drink But the beer away So many fucking laws

I mean can we get rid of so on them please No Listen they don't want people Drink on the drive I'm not for it What I'm saying is, you know, you can have a beer. No, no, no, no, I get it. Well, in the movie, they're talking about you and Kenny driving and his wife passing you beers, like, not freaking out.

Like, I just imagine if I told my girlfriend to pass me a beer while I was driving. He said, they're so young. What are you talking about? It was nothing like that. We had a fucking hole in the floor of a patrol car. We put a bag of ice. We opened the bag up. Put a hole in the floor.

Put a hole in the floor. Back then, the Dodge had the bucket. Like, it was like a bucket. And you put the ice on the floor. And you put the ice on the floor. And you put the beers in the bag. fucking ice and you put a cover on top of it so all the water would just go

through the hole. We had like a cooler in the fucking car. Lee, that's called You don't give a fuck. It's very rare. Give a fuck. And people. And with me, I really didn't give a fuck, but I was ashamed

to show that attitude and I met a kid named Rick Runny. And in life, he really didn't give a fuck. And I would see what he'd do and I go, you know what? He's really having a good time not giving a fuck. Because if it's in your DNA, not to give a fuck, it's just not your DNA. And once you add alcohol and drugs to that emotion that you don't give a fuck,

you don't give a fuck, you don't care. And, you know, listen, man, there's a thousand stories. I didn't hurt people. You know, that's be real. You know, I had a lot of fuck. You took that dope. I had a lot of fucking fuck. You took that dope, which they were going to do anyway.

Listen, I've always said one thing. And maybe it justifies the shitty things I did. And I always said that once you crossed the line, you're open game. It's all, yeah. Okay. Once I found out of days that you were loan sharking, you were open to me. Once I found that you were a bookie, you were open to me. Once I found that, you were selling Coke.

You were open game to me. That gave me the right as a thief to work you. Right. That's it. It ends down. And I would work you until I can work you. If I couldn't work either, then I'd make you my friend. Right, work with you.

And then that's it. And there's nothing I can do. But the first six months, I'm working. I'm working to flip you. I'm looking for a fucking angle here. I'm looking for you know. I know he likes to get his dicks up. You can have a party with these chubby fucking Russian chicks.

Yes, throw something back. Yeah, something. You know, so you get to learn people's weaknesses and you jump on them and you can't expose them. You fucking make them a partner. And now you're jumping on the next guy. That's right. It's such a. When you cross that fucking line, baby, it's all good.

That's how I used to look at it. I used to sniff those motherfuckers out. Sniff them out. Once I found out they were selling Coke, sniff them out, Lee. And I would sniff around their neighborhood with disguises. And I get my friends to go down there with a different car. Go get your dad's call. Let's take a ride.

Come on, please, please, please. Wow, you were really good. I had my buddy with the Undertaker. Crafty. Take a ride down there with the Undertaker Mobile. You're very cerebral fucking criminal. You were very cerebral. You have to be.

Yeah. You have to be. I liked, I liked, I didn't put a lot of thought though. I didn't like the drama. Yeah. There's always a way in and there's always a way out. Well, you have to keep that. You have to think that.

If you look closer. Even if it's right. Well, I always thought there was a way out. That's what my problem was. And there's always a way out. I thought I could get out. So if I knew Lee had blow in here. Right.

There's a way in and there's a way out. With Lee, it was the fence. getting up here, the door. Does he leave it here at night? Right. That's the $25,000 question. Can I go around the back so the camera's over here don't see me? Right.

And climb up the stairs down. You figure it out. Now, in my day, I come up here at 4 in the morning, kick that fucking door right in. That don't mean nothing. And come right in here and take whatever was in here for blow and go right back to the backyard. By the cops, the time the cops got here,

I'd be in that car You'd be sleeping Headed to the 170 Gone Gone God Hell is a door Not a problem

I have no idea Not a problem I kick that fucking door That's why I tell my old lady You were to lock in the fucking door for They're coming in They're coming in It's not stopping

Nothing My apartment complex Is it The only window in my living room Is faced on the Common walkway Everybody Oh yeah you're dead

I've broken into my own house when I left my keys in the house. Yeah, you're dead. There's no reason. Why lock anything? It's going to break the fucking window. You could be licking Paul's monkey and something will tap you on the shoulder. You know what happened? You don't lock the window.

What are you going to do? You were thinking of that? You don't put a steak there or nothing? I'm going to have to. You got to put a stick in there so it doesn't slide. I haven't. Well, don't tell anybody. Get one tonight then.

Yeah. I've always thought about my gifts. God gives everybody weird fucking gifts, you know, patience, and he gives people balls, he gives people brains, and he breaks it down. If I, like I asked you in the beginning of this podcast, when I phrase God, I'm going to say, thank you for the one gift that saved my life at that age to put me out there at 16.

And even before that, I almost got mugged in the Bronx. But I read it. You knew it was coming. I saw the thing. six minutes before and I got myself positioned if I would have committed into that ice cream store I would have got mugged

because I didn't go on the ice cream store and they turned their back on me that gave me a 10 second run when they looked up I was gone and I didn't get mugged and I remember that I go wow that was weird maybe it's what I learned from my mom maybe and then when my mom died

I really had a sense you have to react what type of person this is something he's doing you got to judge him by something he's doing. I'm walking out of a range of hockey game one day. I'm a young car. About 23, 23, 23rd Street between 6 and 7th.

They got two dumpsters. The big construction dumpsters, they're fucking huge. And I see this kid. He sees me and he ducks inside the fucking dumpsters between the two dumpsters. I got my fucking ankle holster on. Put the ankle holster.

Put the gun in my fucking pocket. I'm just walking. stupid cracker walking down the street fucking you know 11 o'clock at night by himself you know he jumps out of nowhere of course I was waiting for him he goes

you know what time it is why is he asking me with time of this because he wants to see me look down at the watch and see if I have a watch on which doesn't matter because now I'm diverted my attention is diverted from him to my fucking watch going like this so I go yeah it's time for you

Get the fuck out of here, motherfucker. I put the gun right to his head. Bingo! He takes off like a jack rabbit running. About 30 seconds later, a fucking police car pulls up lights and sirens. He goes, these kids in the back. He goes, there he is, officer. There he is. Psycho. They go, yeah, here I am, officer. And that motherfucker was going to rob me.

He gets out of the police car just takes off running down towards 42nd Street. That's fucking... But that's because you learn to read people way before... They don't think you're reading them, but you got to know. Today, I had to say what happened today over here. I don't know, because there's a little shady area where I was. I passed these guys, and this guy kept riding by on the bike. I said, okay, motherfucker.

Every time he rode by, I go like this. This guy rides by one more fucking time. I'm going to go say something to him to let him know that I know you're riding by. You're clocking me or what? I wasn't sure, you know, but he did have a bag of groceries. The next time I saw him, he had a bag of groceries. I was good with that. I figured maybe he did buy something, but he kept driving around me.

He was getting a little pissed off. You gotta protect yourself. You see something right away and lifts your fucking head. Right, because I'm by myself. I'm a strange guy in this neighborhood, you know? It's a... Obviously, this is one of the most interesting documentaries

I've seen the last five years. I mean, I was a fan of the Miami one, but not really, because I knew the whole story around you just sell. I had heard things about it. This, I grew up in this, but I heard about this. I lived through this, you know.

It brings it back The story It brings it all back The story I told on Ari's storytellers Which I don't know if they're gonna keep He wanted me to tell two stories Was a story about a Cuban cop

Who shook my mother down This guy had long hair But this guy was just a scound bag Michael Dad And he was a Cuban guy Was he worth his weight in gold Was he worth his weight in gold Like Diaz said I was

Well This guy just wanted money he knew the banking he knew that the bank was we had a guy in our town that had worked with the CIA and and the Bay of Pigs

and they double teamed him so he did what black mass did he went to him and said I don't give a fuck his name was Battle B-A-T-L-E John Battle and he had his son and he went to the feds

and he told him to go fuck themselves that he was in a bookmaking for what they did to him or whatever. And this guy got away with Murdo or so the story is if you go on Wikipedia. Right. But I don't even know what the fuck my point is. So this guy went around to all these Cuban people. And I remember my mom going, you know, we pay a couple cops. Right.

But this guy's just out of control. You know, these guys came in, they had a drink. They talked to your mom. They talked to the people at the bar. My mom slipped them an envelope. They hugged my mom and they left. This is what they did every week. My mom accepted.

There was a guy in uniform that came. There was a guy in a suit that came. And then one day this guy is not shown. He wanted his extra big. He wanted his own personal. This guy had long hair and Cuban. Was he in uniform? Fuck him.

No. He had another fucking grease ball with him with a beard. Fuck you Cuban. And he was Cuban. He always talked to my mom in Spanish. I know you people are doing. drugs in here. I have surveillance in here at night. My mom's like, I don't know what you people told him.

He goes, you guys were okay doing your fucking numbers, but you guys kicked it up or not. This is 73, 74. This guy kept coming in. And one day I was in the back and I heard the rumble. This is six months later that's still going at it.

And he's saying, the next time I fucking come in here, and I don't have money, we're going to have a fucking problem and arrest everybody. But she was paying somebody. big. So he couldn't really cut it. He wanted his own little gig there. So one day I got home from school

and they're fucking there's eight Cubans at my bar and they're fucking chit-chat. They're chit-chatting and they're chit-chat and I understand the fucking words. I know what they're talking about. And I fucking leave. I'm not thinking about it.

Maybe two nights later, me and my mom go these people's houses and they have one of those fucking Santa Ria parties and shit. Burning candles and the whole thing. And the lady takes a dish and does this thing and talks to my mom and goes something's bothering you. Is it this? And she takes this candle and takes a dish.

It looked like the cop with the beard. She took the dish and broke it. She goes, 10 days, seven days, he's gone. About four days later, or five days later, I don't believe this lady. I went to Santa Ria at the time, but that wasn't the Santa Ria. I was raised in over in the city.

Right. The shit I was raised in. It was old school Cuban, very loving, no voodoo spells. This was something in Union City. Puerto Rican woman, none. What I had been growing up in. I got it.

Right, it was different stuff. And next thing, you know, I go to school and they're going, and these teachers are walking back and forth, and they're talking, and I know something's up. Again, you know, you know when something's going on. Yeah, something's up. And I get out of school

and I ride my bike up to the bar, and showing up their drinking and partying. And they're talking about how the cop got shot the night before. Jesus. Rapido taxi. A place that was a taxi place for Cubans. Rapido taxi. That was the name of the fucking...

Hurry up. Hurry up. And all they did was the liver blowing in. And that's the story. But I remember how the Cubans went after that guy for being like a fucking... Because he was an animal. He was going after them heavy. Yeah, you can't do that.

You can't be heavy. You've got to be, you know, gentlemen. You want my money? Be nice to me. and you're a very lucky guy you're charismatic you got balls your partner saw that you had balls

early on and that's why they respect you they knew you had their back when you fucking corner that guy the first time it's exactly how I would have done pulled them over got that license and registration

oh that little kid there a little bodico kid no the guy that put the hit on you the first guy that's shorted you when you said to him hey you're going to put a fucking hit on me you're sure of me

you're going to kill me do it right fucking I can imagine the look on his face. Let's go. He looked at you. He turned white. He was as white as, he was white as, he was white as his tissue. He looked like Goldman before fucking O.J. killed him in the neck. Before O.J. Stad, Mark Goldman, that's what he looked like.

He was like. God, don't put him. I don't want to involve the dead like that for God's sake. I know. It's not the dead. I'm just telling the story of the truth. When somebody surprises you like that. This guy thought he was getting pulled over, shaking down for $200. Not even. When you said to him, listen, let me ask you something. You short me money and I

you put a fucking hit on me. Get out of the fucking car. This kid lost everybody fluid. And the guy next to him with the piece, he lost everybody fluid. Because they don't know what's coming. They don't know if there's a helicopter or fucking Halloween. At that moment, I owned them.

Owned them psychologically, which meant the whole way across the board. Phone call came in 15 minutes later. Come to the shop. That was fucking perfect. Perfect. I knew no other way. Perfect. I knew no other way.

because I wasn't going to back up from I was going to have to have a fucking shootout or I was going to have to have a shootout what's it going to do? The most classic words of all time are timing timing timing

covers every specter of art it covers every specter of criminality it covers every time timing when how you know everything is a split second things change in a fucking two minutes

right well if you make a level Instead of a right, the whole world is different. Two fucking minutes your life could change. Timing. Timing is so fucking unique. You know, and that timing when you took that guy out of the game, that's how you take people out of the game.

They can't even react. They can't. You didn't even give them a chance to react. You can't. If you would have sent the hit to hand with three cops, it wouldn't have worked. You did it perfect. No good.

And that's a real streak. I was lucky. I caught him the first day. I was lucky, but I was there. You thought about it. You were saying, I was, I'm very mental. There's a way to get people, and there's a way to get people. Right. I went right there.

You could hit them in the head with a stick, or you can let them fold for a while, and they fold on their own. Right. A lot of people can't walk around knowing that somebody's mad. No, no. You're following me? Well, in prison, you know, in prison, the first thing you do is you confront the guy, because you can't go to sleep at night, not knowing if that guy's going to come in and stab your shoe, whatever, beat you with the soap. in the sock to death, right? Look at Lee.

You ever get beat with a soap and a sock to death? No. Fucking soon, cocksucker. Look at you. Getting banned from the South Point Casino for dispersing. Soap and a sock.

Look at you, you, Cox, I'm proud of you, though. You turn pale. For people who know Lee, he turned pale, and you can see the high jump right out of him. But thank God I got high earlier. No, listen, dog,

the high jumped right out of you. Straight right up? It fucking straightened you out, and then you went right back to normal doing what you were doing. It was hysterical. And then they made you take the thing out of your clothes. And then you went out into the parking lot and there was a truck on fire. So he went out there

and it was like the scene with... What the hell are you guys? Is your truck on fire? Oh my God, it was terrible. So at the south point... I ate everything because I... You ate the whole load. How many started to Jewette at that point? Okay, so earlier in the day... I gave you two. Two.

So it's four hundred and then you gave me two before the show. That's four. And then I had one red one when you gave me one. Uh-oh. Backstage. You gave me red one backstage. What's the red one? One, twenty-five.

So that's five-25 plus it. So it's nine-twenty-five. Did I give you just one-twenty-fives? No, you give me two. And then there was a red one backstage for some reason. So how many G-don't-you-old. But then I had two of the green ones, so I had like over a thousand for the day. And by that point, and then what time did they throw you out?

Like nine. You actually knew the fucking time? Well, because I looked at you. It took me to... I had a... What you're doing to this guy? I had a fucked up night getting to the hotel.

What the hell's going on here? Someone's a good one. Someone's blowing up to spot. He's really happy with that one. That's this fucking shit. Don't want you got a candle with this guy. You guys have fucking happened over here. You guys are both having around me.

He's in Lulu Land and your uncle. You're joining him for Christ's. We don't want to show me? What the fuck are going on? No, we're just fucking talking to people. We're just wrapping it up right now. We're just wrapping up, baby. We just talked about kidnapping the precincts and shooting people.

That what that was? Is that a gunshot that just went off? No, no, that was Lee who fought it by mistake. Lee farts from time to time. It happens. It's a good fucking poem. That's my dog over there. This shit.

It's, uh... You blame him, man. Good man. We'll break the film. down tomorrow night. We slipped up on time tonight. It's good. It's good to be here. It's 9 o'clock. It's really good to be here. You guys are quite the experience.

You can talk like a motherfucker. You can fucking talk. You have to. You are good. You can talk. This is what you need to do. You got to chit-chat. You got to talk to the guests. You got to... Are we still on? I want to shout out to Jeff and Tom, the guys who showed up at the tobacco show to be good to me. And one's a cop

and one's a welder. Believe it or not, I'm having a problem with some of these cops, but There's a lot of good cops out there that love me, man. I'm telling you straight up, they really fucking support me. You know, they're real people. That's why. They're not just fucking, you know, officers of course. Let me have some great questions tonight.

And I know that a lot of people live through that. I know a lot of people, today I answered 60-something emails. 30 more about drugs or doing time or whatever. You know, man, listen, the hardest thing. But there's two types of problems. you had. One thing I love about Mike is he doesn't have the felon mentality. Once he got out and he got his shoe shined, that was it. You left it behind you. You paid your debt to society, which is what society asks about you to give you a second chance. But you still have the people's judgment.

Yeah. That's the first I can't lie to you. Lee, you know me. At first, it was tough. First two or three years, it was very tough. And people made little jokes, a little statements. I took it home and I can't lie. Then it bothered me. Then I thought about the whole situation. I thought about what I had done. I justified what I had done in my head. I made my due to society. I took my test.

I did everything. What do you want for me now? For me to give up on my life? That's why I get down. Because I gave him a state. Then they say I'm not remorseful. Dude, I'm done. Twelve years, you're remorseful enough.

There's times if I'm watching you that I could think to myself, he's talking like this fucking is no big. deal but I know you paid for your sins I could see it in your eye balls you can't share a story without you can't share a story from the position of remorse it doesn't work it's not the story it's something else well the remorse is the remorse I had was the remorse of not saying this story for 15 years of my life to being hiding to being around people and not saying to people what I had done right that was the because you're lying now that was it that was that was the word worst part of me, all those years,

95, 96, I was living with that. It hurts. I was dating somebody. I couldn't tell. I had time. They would ask me if comedy fails. Why don't you work for the airline?

Yeah, really? Get a general. The Lord's get a real job. Because no one will fucking hire me. Yeah. So it was fucking scary. Lee has always asked about that. Lee asked you tonight.

And I think that if Lee asked, a lot of people should know, it starts in your mind. If you want to be labeled a felon, And have you tattooed your neck while you were in prison? Then you got to accept what, you know, there's still people. I don't have a little buck and the 50s. Right.

They live in the 50s and they make decisions those people. That's right. And there's people from the 60s and 70s that are in a restaurant and they can't have a devil getting finger banged on your neck while you're serving shrimp fucking cocktails. There's $16 a pop. Right. You know, I mean, there's just, there's things that. that limits you, but now you have to think outside the box.

So you put a tear drop in your heart and a picture of Hitler on your forehead. So now what is it that you want to do with your life? Do you want to do telephone sales? Do you want to put a mask on and scare kids part-time? Because that's it. Yeah, right. Yeah, good luck. At least you're honest with yourself.

It's the people who say, I'm not getting hired. There's an office, and they got the swat sticker on their neck. Right, right. That's the other side of this coin that I can't agree with. Right. You made your bet. Just be real. Just be real. Accept it. You made your bet.

Now you have to fucking live with it. I'm living with it. And I live with it every day. And that's one thing. That's why you're sitting here for these reasons. You know, and I'm hypocritical at times years ago. We're all. No one's perfect.

I love animals. When Michael Vick did his thing. Right. And then when they said, wait a second. That's another motherfucker. Did his time. Right. Pay the fine.

They took the dogs. They rehab them. I think they gave them a fine to pay for the dogs to rehab. What else do you want from him? I can't sit here and hate because the same reason. You might not have him babysit your dogs. You're not going to have him babysit your dogs. But that being said, he may be the best babysit right now

because he's maybe taking care of him because he doesn't want to be accused of dog misbehavior. I've been thinking a lot about you before you came on the show. I know, yeah. You called me every three fucking days. And I've been thinking about... And I loved it. I've been thinking about the correlation in our lives.

I did the same fucking shit. just dressed differently. And I got to be honest, if you think I'm in the city and tell you I didn't like it, I fucking loved it. I loved knowing there was a drug dealer somewhere in Jackson Heights. Fucking love Jackson Heights. I loved it.

I loved it. I loved all that shit. I'm not going to lie to over it. I love Jackson Heights. And if you want me to lie to you again, I did this ship after I fucking got out of prison for doing that shit. I still did it because I was in a hole. No, no, no, no. I was working.

I was selling cars. I'm a man of a thousand. I'm a man of a thousand. You still couldn't. make ends meet. No, no, no. What I was doing was I owed an attorney money for a divorce. All right, so you'll pay him bills. I was dug deep, deep.

All of a sudden, you're living your life and you're making money, and when you're buried 25 G's and you don't know how to get out of it. So I said, this is the way to get out of it, at least a breeze out of it. Quick hit. And I made a quick hit, and I unburied myself. It was a temporary bandaid, but I'll never forget the thrill I got.

But then when I, two days later, it wasn't a thrill no more. You were scared the best of them to come back to haunt you. This motherfucker gets in trouble. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That's why you got to... No, no, no. I didn't have a cell phone then.

There was nothing I could have done. I didn't touch nobody. I wore gloves. I had a hat. I had a fucking mask. I took the mask. I lit the fucking t-shirt on fire. I threw the gun away and the river.

Oh, please. I threw the sneakers away for the carpeting. Did you change your address? No, I did everything I did. Everything. I took the money. I went. went, I went down to South Jersey for about

five days and just exercise and did sit-ups. No, off of 17. You just exercise. That's it. I walked to the jelly. Why are you? Just thinking. Just thinking about my life. What I had just done, I can't believe I did time. I'm doing this shit again.

And now I'm doing something stupid. Right. And yeah, I got rid of the Coke and I did a little coke and I got my dick sucked and it was a good time. But Jesus fucking Christ. What's wrong with me? What the fuck is wrong with me? Yeah. But that doing that crime made me become a comedian today because that made me stop working in New York.

I was like, I'm not going over there no more. I'm going to bump into those. Because you're going to get the itch? You're going to get the itch? That's why I was going to buy Coke. Right. So I got a new Connect in Jersey. I paid the extra 10 bucks. I was only going to be in Jersey for another month.

And I was gone. And I left that October 93. And that was the first time I said, now I know what to do if I'm going to become a stand-up comic. This is how I got to perform. and this is how I have that. Wow.

I can't do this shit no more. I can't be putting guns to people's heads no more. That was the end of that. That was the end of that. And, yeah, the first couple jobs, people would say to me, you have a felony kidnapping, and I'd say, what's the name under there?

And they go, Jose Diaz. I go, listen, you know what Jose Diaz is? That's John Smith. That's a lot of D.S. A lot of Jose Diaz. Don't believe that. Do I look like I'm not kidnapped to you?

And I do the pose and everything. And nothing, nothing. There was a service that they put, the one place got me with the headshot. That was the worst. And the guy goes, come here, is this not you? They had my headshot. Oh, Jesus. Must have been a good job, then.

From the arrest. It must have been a good job you were going for. No, yeah. That was for a service department. Okay. And the guy goes, I really want to hire you, but I got to show you something. Is this you? No.

And it was crazy because the guy did the paperwork called me in. And in the process of him calling me in that day at 3.30, he got the paperwork at 6 o'clock that night. When he came in the next morning, it was when he saw it. And he goes, you don't understand. We made a big mistake. We're really sorry. But you should have told us you had a felony. And I'm like, what are you talking about?

You know me, Doug. I'm Mike Dow. I'm Mike Dow. didn't happen. He's like, it didn't happen. He's like, come here, this is not you, and it was me like doing that show. In Canyon City, he had me though. You look pretty and everything.

I'm like, God, damn it. And that was one time they caught me. Would it have made a difference? Would he have hired you with the felony? No, it wasn't a place where I wanted over. I remember leaving there going, you know what? I would do dick here. These people wouldn't have fucking dug me at all. These people wouldn't have fucking dug me at all.

So tomorrow night we're going to sit here. We're going to break this film down, the crucial part of the film. We're going to ask Mike some more questions. I know Lee's got a thousand questions. I just got him too high time. He's sitting there like he's in fucking shock. I'll get him tomorrow. We got some dogs.

He's in shock. He's in shock. Paper work. Oh, okay, okay. Jesus Christ. Scared him. He's in shock over there. Look at him.

He's half a fucking deus and bucks and shit. I ain't in a milk, so what? I ain't eight money, you should be eating 800 for breakfast and jogging and shit. You're 27, Coxuck. What do you think you should be doing?

Not that I'm just really high. But I have tons of questions for the one we're watching. So should we say, should they get the movie, or we're going to say, we'll have the people that are watching this have watched the movie already.

You know, that's part of the thing we've had here. That's why we're all big fans, the story. 7-5 story. So yeah, it's 7-5. It's on Amazon. I think it's actually on Showtime, too, I think, right now.

I think it's on Showtime as well. Because they had it on in the house that I was just that. They were watching it. They probably have it on Showtime demand or something? Maybe, I don't know. It's probably on Showtime on demand. I've never had, I don't know. And I don't know if I should.

I don't know if I, I've never really had a problem with what people do. And especially when it comes to the law system. I get it. I get it. That's why I told you to watch that OJ Simpson. I watched the first one. Yeah. Well, there's been two. Tomorrow's number three or four. But it's very interesting what money buys in this country. Oh, my God. You know, what money doesn't buy, how a law system is.

If that way, you or me, we'd have been fried. God, how everything works. The system works in a weird way. And it's amazing how law students, like your girlfriend, fiancé, go to school, thinking law is one thing. and once they realize whether they either like it or they go, this wasn't for me. Right, right. I really want to show my girlfriend in the movie because there's a line right at the beginning and it just kills me every time because all I can think of is her.

It's like you're not really stemming the flow of crime like you thought you were. And all I can see is her face just because all she wants to do is be a prosecutor. And actually right now, the Orange County Prosecutor's Office is hiring people because the entire prosecutor's office was doing dirty stuff. So maybe I should have been there as their ethics coach. What do you say to my ethics coach in Korea? That line kills me. I have been on the other side of the fence, and I've done some weird stuff.

And I've been treated weirdly, you know, by cops. But never know violence. It was always in a gentleman's approach. I always understood the position. I had done something bad and they were getting paid I always knew all those things I can't say I hate a cop

I cannot say those words at all with the felonies or not I think there's great cops that there wouldn't be if it wasn't for a cop I hate the guy they saved my fucking life

to the truth I hate the guy that takes this more serious than what this is there's a lot of cops walking around today that don't have street experience at any level. They grew up in an apartment and looking on the fucking computer. And that's why

when somebody comes out and just threatens them, they shoot them. They don't know the mechanics of somebody being drunk or somebody being high or somebody. They never saw that. They were in a shelter life. This is what I blamed for all

those shootings. You know, I don't even know my fucking point. You were talking about it at the beginning of the documentary. You were saying like how you You went in and you came out and you were on the street in the worst parts. And how were you, and all prepared for it? I mean, you know, look, we're going to talk a lot more tomorrow, I guess.

But the bottom line is this. You go in with one idea and you come out with another. You're young, you're scared. You don't want to be there. You want to go back to fucking college. And all of a sudden you realize, you're in the fucking water, dude. You either swim or sink, one of the two. and if you don't learn how to swim, you start sinking.

And, you know, that's it. There's no backing up. It's just, I mean, I wanted to back up, but I'm like, I'm not built to back up. I never, you know, my father, never taught me to back up. It was always go forward, keep going. It'll happen. It'll work. You can do it.

I became the ghetto. I was, it was in every fiber of my fucking being. I love it. I still love it. Listen to Jickey. There's more money in the fucking ghetto than there isn't Beverly Hills. It was just exciting. It was exhilarating. Every day, I hated three-day swings.

Because, you know, you do two days off one week, you get three days off the next week. Two days off, three days off. The three-day swing was long for me because I couldn't wait to get back to the fucking action. It was just so much shit going on in the ghetto. People fucking getting shot. I didn't want to see them get shot. Don't get me wrong. I love to.

fucking smell of the blood and the gunpowder and I love being the guy in charge it to see get an ambulance here get a fucking the PDU the detective squad get this get that you know get the helicopters if we needed it you know I just love that fucking excitement I'm doing that and then you know and standing around like like you were God you were fucking running something it was just such a good feeling and in a good cop way you know not a fucking bad I'm looking to rob this guy maybe I did rob him too but who cares? I was still doing the good shit at the same time

I was trying to save his life you know I was trying to get an ambulance to get him in the hospital I was trying to get you know set up a crime scene look for witnesses you know you still do all crazy shit maybe look for a couple grand

while you're at it I was multitasking before multitasking was multitasking that's when my mother died the next day at the fucking county morgue my friend her friend

the guy that took numbers at the bar said me, do you find money on her last night? And I go, no, why? He goes, because she had 4,500 cash in her fucking bro last night. And where's her diamond earrings? I go, I don't know.

She don't have her diamond earrings on. Those things were fucking eight carrots. Somebody stole her fucking diamond earrings. Who do you think took that shit? I hope it wasn't the police. Maybe it was a morgue guy. It was probably a more guy. You know, you get shaken down

at every fucking opportunity. and even as a kid at that age Oh my God, I sat there and was like You guys aren't, like that was the beginning You know, I tell that story that that And then Social Security and then she had an alias But that's how it started. Like, wait a second

You guys are telling me That in between 3515, given that terrorist And 22nd Union City You guys robbed her money Her fucking earrings Her ankle gold diamond bracelet It was fucking they cleaned her out thousands

a couple relatives said something but they what were you gonna do I said it's gone this is in New York already at a fucking porn shop this is gone anyway

I'm happy we came on tonight I'm happy we worked it out this way we got a little chit chat tomorrow night we'll go over the film and we break this down let me give some fucking shoutouts here and we'll move on with our lives you know wine is everywhere

You know, it's at 7-11 now. That's it. Hot dogs, pizza, ice is coffee, and fucking wine now. You know, everybody's got wine, and nobody knows what the hell to do or how to do it. I'm not going to lie to you people. In my fucking cocaine days and shit like that,

if you asked me what I wanted to drink, it wasn't fucking wine, but if you had it, I'll drink it. Whatever was there. You want to drink a wine, Svitzer? I'll drink a wine fucking Svita. Whatever the fucking you got,

but it wasn't familiar. And we've all been there. You come home after a long, exhausting day at work, and all you want to do is sip a glass of wine and relax. But unless you plan the head, you probably don't even have a bottle in your house. You already spend enough time wandering around the grocery store. Don't get lost in the wine now.

You'll end up picking out a bottle based on a label. You don't really understand. You get home, you're opening, and you realize you don't even like the chardonnay as much as you thought you did. I don't even know what a chardonnay is. It's a white wine. It's a white wine, and you eat it with chicken, I guess, whatever. But I'll tell you what, all that has come to an end

Because with Club W, you never have to worry about being wine-free again Ever, even if you don't drink wine It's always good to have a bottle in case your friends come over You want to have friends, you want to be social You want people to come over, people say, hey, Chuck has wine Let's go over there at two in the morning If not, you sit there, what do you got? You got fucking lollipops

You don't need that shit no more Club W is a revolutionary new wine club That sends you wine directly Listen to this, to your door. in your car, no more bottles banging like some fucking bum from the street, you know, saving all those trips to the grocery store. Not only does Clubb

you send you wine, they send you wine that you'll love drinking. That's the tip. You know why? Because they got a six question quiz figure out that they got a six question quiz which figures out your palate so every bottle you receive is perfectly

tailored to your taste. Let's say you like it fruity, it's fruit. Let's say you like it more dry. Don't get it to you more dry. Club W is the leading grape-to-glass wine revolution. Do you understand what I'm trying to say to you? They cut out the middleman. They work directly with the vineyards

which saves you GEDIS money. Club W even offers a no-risk guarantee you'll love what they send you. So I'm going to do this for you people, all right? Right now for the listeners, for the real church motherfuckers, I'm going to give you 50% off your first

order when you go to clubw dot com slash Joey J-O-E-Y Don't ever come home wine free again Mama wants a stabbing And you want to show up with fucking organic water Or almond milk Fuck you

Go to ClubW.com Slash Joey And get 50% off your first order That's clubb.com Slash Joey Trust me I'm telling you ClubW will rock your world They send it right to your house

And it's a simple test you take They even tell you what to eat eat with the food with the nachos, they even give you a recipe for the fucking nachos or whatever you're going to cook to enjoy with the wine. Again, ClubW, 50% off your first order. That's clubbw.com slash Joey, all right? Now another thing I've got to talk to you people.

I'll tell you what's very important in your lives. Security. Let's say fucking Mike Dow comes over. You don't want to answer the fucking door. Unless you're not, if you're playing right, you're good. If you're fucking around, you're better, better cause this guy. This is the sound of the package being delivered,

a friend's coming all for dinner, but it's also the sound of someone planning to rob you blind. Over 95% of home breakings happen during the day, okay? And if you work, you're not by the house, unless you have a pet your wallow and what the fuck's he going to do? So burgers always almost start by ringing your door by to see if someone's home before they pillage through your fucking possessions, okay? Listen to what I'm telling you.

They pillage to your possessions. With the ring video doorbell, you can see and talk to everyone your door from anywhere in the world. That means you could be a fucking Shanghai and somebody rings your doorbell and you're right there. K. Pasa, cuck, sucker. Why are you ringing my doorbell? Rings, advanced

motion detection alerts you even if somebody doesn't ring the doorbell. It's like the call ID for your home. With the ring video doorbell, you can talk to delivery people and keep an eye on your package. If someone tries to mess with it, you get an instant alert and the HD video, the whole thing.

The HD video, the whole thing of somebody robber. It's like having a neighbor with an eye on your house for 24-7 without the judgment. All right. So listen, what I'm trying to tell you this, Damon, my main man, installed this at the house because my doorbell wire was kaput. When we move, we're going to install the ring. What Damon said was it's sensational. An animal comes in the front yard, the lights turn on. You can plug it to a bunch of other thing. Ring is great. So do me your favor. Installing the ring video doorbell takes minutes, and it works either with your current wiring or your built-in rechargeable battery.

Put your mind of these and protect your home with the video doorbell, Time Magazine, and USA Today name one of the top 10 gadgets of the year. My listeners get free, expedited. You ready for that one? Expedited. FedEx shipping when you go to ring.com slash church right now. That's ring.com slash church right now. With the ring video doorbell, you're always, always home.

So do me a favor. Check it out. Go to ring.com slash church right now and get free expedited FedEx shopping. Shipping with shopping. What am I talking about shipping? And beside that, my number one,

I love you guys with all my heart. On it, solid like the Rock of Gibraltar from the Shroom Tech Sport, from the Shroom Tech immune, to the Hempforce protein chocolate to the assay vanilla. What they're throwing is fucking pure heat.

If you want to raise your testosterone, they'll help you there. If you want more fat in your diet, coconut clean fat they'll help you there well who the fuck am I to complain you know what I'm saying go to honor dot com right now and see the great selection of nutrients and supplements they got for you they got

kettlebells and shit but I can't help you with them I'm not telling you not to get them Lee and I both know they're great but go to honor dot com right now what is it Lee slash church boom C-H-U-R-C-H and get 10% of your first order delivered right to your motherfucking door jack so I want to thank ring one more time

Club W and On it I want to thank Mike Dowd One more time Happy to be here You guys are some act And we'll be here Tomorrow night

Same back time Same back channel Trying to listen To a motherfucking party I love you Cucksucker Stay black Uncle Joey here

With his main man Lee You look petrified I've never seen you Oh my What's the man He's not trying Is he?

He does everything No way by nothing Oh my God Love you Thanks for having me I talk to you tomorrow We'll talk tomorrow You don't feel nothing

This show is brought to you by ring Go to ring.com And look at their brand new video Doorbell That will change your world And when you go to ring com slash church You're going to get free expedited

FedEx shipping you go to ring.com slash church. This show is brought to you by clubbw.com. Never come home to a wine-free house again. Just go to clubbw.com slash joey to get 50% off of your first order. That's right. Right now clubbw is offering our listeners

50% off of your first order when you go to clubbw.com slash joey. And go to onit.com and use code church to get 10% off your first order of all the great optimization products like Alpha Brain and Newmood.