The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - The CHURCH: BEST of JOE ROGAN, Vol. 1 | with JOEY DIAZ & LEE SYATT

Episode Date: August 14, 2023

The CHURCH: BEST of JOE ROGAN, Vol. 1 | with JOEY DIAZ & LEE SYATT   #216 Part 1 - Recorded live on 09/23/2014.. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8R0OL5mnbqo&t=1s   #216 Part 2 - Recorded live on 09/23/2014.. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrXWBV2Cglw   #472 - Recorded live on 04/10/2017. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQyTfr8_auU&t=143s     This podcast is ALWAYS presented by ONNIT!   Go to https://www.onnit.com & Enter PROMO CODE: JOEY, JOINT or CHURCH The Mind Of Joey Diaz is on PATREON: http://bit.ly/TheMindOfJoeyDiaz  #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint #TheChurch #LeeSyatt #JoeRogan

As long as you're you. How did you figure it out? Because I've always wondered that. Because you figured it out and there was like a big turnaround. Like one day you just stopped giving a fuck. It was weird. It was a, it was a, an event. It was a series of events.

It was that I wasn't dating that dirty. You got a lighter over there? I wasn't dating that dirty bitch anymore. That clears your mind of 30%. I had let go a lot of shit that was fucking scary. the shit out of me in LA and that's 60% of your problem right there. Everybody who had me locked in, bullshit me that you needed to do this and needed to do that and you, you know, and all of a sudden I'm watching you and I'm watching these guys

that are clean and they make me laugh, but they're not making me laugh like the guys that are real. Yeah. That took a different fucking animal, you know? I remember I was having conversations about it. Yeah. Where you were like, ah, you could go do that. I got a, I got to, you know, this.

people watching me. Yeah, no, no, no, it was scary. It was scary for no reason. Yeah. It was just the bullshit that they put into your head that you can't, you can't. Well, it was no reason, but it was holding you back. Well, absolutely, because people could see when you're faking the funk. Well, not just that. Like, even once you started killing, it was still holding you back. Like, there was still a lot of agents and managers had had a bad opinion of you. Oh, listen, they're going to they're going to say whatever you want to say until you deliver the goods I figured out

I was talking to Tommy Easter today and I go Tommy Easter let me tell you something you could be the funniest guy in this town you go in a comedy store every night and fucking destroy that room even though they're going to see Dane Cook

Eliza Schlesinger it doesn't matter you can destroy that room nothing matters in this business just like the mafia you to use the size of the envelope on Friday. That's when they pay attention to you. That's when all those naysayers, they eat their words, and they jump on the ship with you. Well, what's interesting is those people are almost useless now.

Useless. Young comic. It's, it's, it's, this has changed. Yeah. This is changed. And let me tell you something. I know you hate this talk, but this is the reality of it because you're an intelligent guy. In 2007, there was a writer's strike.

And these motherfuckers play a game for six or something. seven months. In reality, TV crept it. There's about to be another writer strike, May 7th. And if these motherfuckers play games, the internet is going to fuck them up. Well, where it's not going to fuck them up is things like

Game of Thrones or things like House of Cards, like things where you need a lot of money to shoot them. Well, listen, let me tell you something. When the going gets rough, you put together one of these late night shows with Brendan and Eddie lighting himself on fire or whatever from 8 to 11,

the band behind you. People are going to watch it, dog. The internet's going to change the fucking game. If these motherfuckers fuck around on TV, if these motherfuckers don't settle this, this goes on like the one in 2007. You think Periscope didn't see this coming, and all these fucking companies didn't see this coming?

Yeah, but don't you think the writers probably have a point? Like, without them. Oh, the writers always have a point. No, the right? Without them, there's nothing, right? The writers always have a point. But listen, it's 2017, bitch. He who hesitate masturbate.

This fucking machine over here has been growing since you turn me on to it. It's nothing but a wealth of information and growth that machine. And more people turn to that. You know, I don't do this. I don't do this because I'm an idiot. But people watch movies on their phones. Yeah. People watch the UFC on their fucking phones.

Yeah, on planes. Okay, my friend. Yeah. Don't watch anything on there. Content is endless now. Content is endless. You don't need cable or TV no more. You got a phone.

If you're a brokester and you've got an iPhone and you're trying to work things out in your life, you can stream showtime, you could stream HBO, you can stream IFC. And you can see almost everything. Everything. YouTube just came out with a,

like everyone's coming out with an online cable service or TV service, but YouTube is the best one out there. So far it's 30 bucks a month. And you get, you don't get every channel, but you get a ton of 80s, You get a ton of DVR.

So it's starting to be where you don't even need anything anymore. Let them fuck around. Keep fucking around. Keep it up. People are going to figure this out and go, wait a second. I got a good idea for this. I got a good idea for that. Two cameras, two GoPro's and Periscope and a drummer.

And you got yourself entertainment, Jack, for whoever. People watch it. People at home craving this. Our audience is not from 7 to 10 no more like it was 20 years ago. sorry. It's people from 7 to 5. It's IT people. It's people working gas stations. People working construction with earphones on. It's fucking amazing. The loaders at the air planes, they wave the other day. I'm trying to get on the fucking plane. They waved a couple weeks ago. Yeah, it's weird, right? It's very weird. So it's gone to a different

fucking level now. This is what we're doing is growing every month. Well, no one would ever allow you to do this. No. There's no executive in this town that would have ever said here's what you need to do, Joey. No. They wouldn't have a camera pointed at you. You start smoking pot and just talk shit. Nobody believed you. Nobody would believe you.

And it's that easy. It's that fucking easy. It is for you. It's not that easy for everybody. Well, listen, man. But it's a shot. You have a shot with this. When Marin first went to his management and said he was starting a podcast, they laughed at him.

Yeah. That's the reality of it, you know. Yeah. This is something that they didn't know. was coming. They're going, they're sitting having meetings right now. What are we going to do? How are we going to get a piece of this act? Well, I know that some podcasts are sag. You know that, right? They have those acting podcasts. Really? How do they do that? We read a play. No. Fuck, yeah. They have series. Oh, well, series is huge. Huge. Huge. I firmly believe that the

future of entertainment is audio. I honestly do, because it gives you so much more, you're so much more accessible to them. Like, you can have them for the drive, you have them throughout the workday, and then even at home, how many people do you see when they're watching TV just playing on their phone throughout the entire episode? And they're absorbing what's happening through audio. I honestly think there's going to be a lot. I've always loved audio, guys.

It's perfect. I think people don't listen enough. I love audio. I grew up on Richard Pryorams. We grew up listening. We didn't have specials. I grew up listening to George Carlin. I grew up listening to, I didn't watch fucking Freddie Prince on TV with a special.

How many specials did we see later on? Delirious, Rodney's young comedians, but that came later on. Well, there's definitely a good market for audio, but there's always going to be a market for people watching things, too. And if you're talking about people that are sitting down with their phones while they're watching a TV show, like, that's so silly. People that do that are so silly. You're playing with your phone while you're watching The Walking Dead or something like that. It's so dumb. I hate it.

I don't do it. It's just people who are super, super distracted and childish with the way they look at things if you're doing that. Unless it's a bad show or unless you're watching a talk show or something like that. But it just seems to me that if you're going to watch a really good show, you should put the fucking phone down and sit down and watch that thing. This is fucking, that was fucking tremendous. That was my first Led Zepple now.

That's the first one I ever had. That took me to a tremendous level. And I would listen to Houses of the Holy. I would listen to dancing days and I was so young that I was scared of No Quarter so I would skip over it and go to the ocean You gotta be a certain age to listen to No Quarter

You ain't ready for that Yeah, I found about Les Ebblin From this girl that lived up a street from me when I was 13 There was a girl that lived up the street that fucked everybody She was 21 and I was 13 And she fooled around me but I couldn't get it up I was too young But she played comfortably numb

The first time I ever kissed a chick I kissed a 21 year old chick when I was 13 and she's grabbing my dick, but nothing was going on. I was panicking. But that song, comfortably numb, will always be associated in my mind with that girl. And Black Dog. That was the first time I ever heard Black Dog was this chick. She turned me on to Zeppelin.

Turn me out of a lot of good music, man. That's amazing when they take them. You go home and go, what the fuck was that? I was listening to it. Oh, I had no idea. Because the only music I had heard when I was 13 was probably, I knew Kiss. I knew about Kiss. I was a Kiss fan already

But I didn't know about that many bands You had to listen to the radio You know, you didn't You couldn't like I didn't have friends It turned me on to too much music It was like It was hard to find out about good stuff

So when I first found out about Zepin I'm like how the fuck did I not know about this? I got my call today this morning At 8 in the morning And Philadelphia Freedom was on By Elton John And I started singing it And my wife is looking at

I'm like when the fuck did you learn these lyrics I go dog This is sixth grade on Fridays Mr. Levito will let me go up in front of the class at 1 o'clock, and I would sing Philadelphia Freedom or lip-synke it. And my eyes are gorger by Frankie Valley and shit. Wow. Makes to take motherfuckers deep with fucking Elton John.

People don't remember Elton John. Every once in a while I get caught up in Elton John, I can't even go in the house. Country Comfort? A funeral for a friend. Last week something was on, Daniel, my friend. And there's two gay guys live across the street from me. but they're the fucking weirdest gay guys because they don't go out. They don't do nothing.

They sit in that fucking house all day. I want to kick that door down and go, you know, anybody tell you you're fucking gay. Get out there. Dick is free. Sperm is free. You go to Santa Monica. You know what?

Dick is free. Free. These two gay guys stay in the fucking, and they're not gay together. What? They're not together. Oh, they're roommates? Yeah, they're roommates,

and they never fucking go out. Every once in the one of the daytime, they take a cruise. They're in front of the house feeding cats. So when the other day I got out of the car, I was listening to Elton John and I was blasting, I was stoned. You know, when the weed and the music just connected as one, and I pulled up to the house and they were like out there, and I opened out the window and I go, nobody in this country remembers when Elton John used to sling dick like a motherfucker. And they just looked at me, looked at each other one in the house.

Nobody in this country, and nobody gave a fuck he was gay. Like you had an idea of him and Bernie Taupin were gay, but you, ah, he could be, but what would be? Who gives a fuck, dog? Street fighting man. Ah, yeah, whatever. All that shit was just brilliant. You know, anybody, that song, It's a little bit sunny or funny.

You know, that shit, everybody knows that fucking jam. You broke up to that. You gave a girl your first hickey, you fingered somebody to that. There's always some. Rocket Man. Rocket Man, too. What's the one in, what's the movie about the young kid

who was the writer? And they all got on the tiny dancer. What is it? And they all were singing it on the fucking bus. And you were feeling it. You're like, God damn, how good of a fucking song is that? When a band, and that's supposed to be who? That's supposed to be theoretically and almost famous.

Wasn't that supposed to be Led Zeppelin or somebody big time that they were writing about when they were on the bus? I thought it was Morrison. Wasn't it supposed to be the Morrison? I don't know. No. I don't think it was the Doors. Although speaking last Friday night, fucking The Doors Live at the Hollywood Bowl was on.

If you haven't seen that, smoking them, but get some fucking ju-ju juice, whatever the fuck you do. Smoking a number. These e-cigars, I never even heard of an e-cigar before. These are fucking good. Yeah, yeah. It tastes like a cigar. It's amazing.

And they have different levels of nicotine. So I'm not a smoker, so I got zero just to try it out. It tastes the same. I can't tell you. I'm going to put the glars. This is great. I love this. It tastes like a real cigar.

I go to Vegas. I don't feel like an asshole no more now. You go to a casino, you don't feel like an asshole no more. It's discreet. You know, whatever. At least it saves you. You know, you don't want to, you know, why I hate getting cigars. because I spent $3 on a cigar

and I smoke half of it. You know what I'm going to do? Put in a baggie in my pocket like a Puerto Rican and walk around. They always taste like shit. Yeah, no, I can't. So when do you have time to actually sit there for four fucking hours?

You get a little one. A smaller one. Well, on the East Coast they have cigar loungers or like whether they have like nice leather furniture and you can get a drink. That's really fun. They have one right next to the improv. Do they really?

Yeah, they have a few out here. They've had that one. They've had that, yes. I used to go with Kevin James and I used to go to Fat Stoge's in studio. City across the street from Jerry's Deli? I didn't know they had them. They were so much fun.

God damn it. What? God damn it. I had something for you. I didn't print it up. My friend sent me a poster, a picture that's really a post. He's going to give it to me in New York of the number one pool hall in Cuba in 1951.

When it was booming. Dog, 200 motherfuckers in there. Wow. Tressed impeccably. Like impeccably. Like no. jeans like suit on women with minx on little

things with champagne on buckets and these motherfuckers are shooting pool and you can see like the daylight come over the beach and shit god damn Cuba 19 fucking 51 isn't it crazy how Cuba used to be like the play this was the place this was the place they all would go there

Kennedy would go there the mob would go there everybody went to Cuba you know actors ambassadors it was everybody place to go well how long of a plane ride would be from Miami like 20 minutes Like, how long could it possibly be? 40 minutes or something. It's not even Vegas.

90 miles, so it's from here to San Diego. Yeah, that's like not even half the trip to Vegas. They have to do a circle just to feel... Just to make it worth it? You know, listen, I'm going to tell you something. United has blown for years. I took them into Newark one time. No fucking TV.

No fucking shitty food. First class was like fucking garbage into Newark. That's why I don't fly into Newark no more. You know, I love whatever virgin, but then it can't get me back from Newark so I'm going to end up at Kennedy anyway Yeah So Newark's not a good airport

You know Arby used to bitch about it Arby used to bitch about it constantly Fuck Newark fuck Newark You know what My life's a lot easier Believe it or not When I land in JFK Yeah

It really is smooth Worst case scenario You go to fucking the palms And get a steak and eggs Yeah Like a gentleman And the bloody marrying You sit it out

There's tons of entertainment At Kennedy You get them massage, you'll get your feet rubbed. They got fucking everything at Kennedy. I thought you flew out okay. It was horrible. It was horrible. And I'm like you. I waited for 10 minutes. I had already a book 3 o'clock, but it got in at 741 and I didn't trust it. I went to Southwest was empty. Everybody was there. When I got there was kids at the airport, all going to fucking spring break. I went to United. They had nothing.

And I went to Delta, Delta, was done, and I went to the other one. JetBlue, and JetBlue was done until tomorrow, until Sunday. I was like, you know what? I got my 3.40, I'd take my chances. Before I left the hotel, I called,

and they go to plane that you're going from to L.A. is already in Chicago. You landed from Rome this morning. It's already ready to go. It's on time. And the other one was on time, and you know what? Everything was smooth, knock on wood. It took me 25 minutes up to 4.05 to get home on It was empty.

You have options in other places, but if you fly to a place like Buffalo, there's not a lot of options, you know? It's like if you're flying out of Bozeman, Montana or something like that, like good luck. Listen, bro, I can't get a direct ticket from Milwaukee to Detroit. The flight is longer from Milwaukee to Detroit than what it is from fucking LAX to fucking Milwaukee. Really? How the fuck did that happen? I got to fly into Chicago. It's a tough business.

The business of selling airline tickets, flying people. people around you gotta make money not really well you gotta think who the fuck's flying in and out of Buffalo so in order for them to have packed what's there right other than the UFC like when you have a big event or a football game or something like that if there's not that a lot of people connect to go to Canada a lot of people fly to Buffalo those planes are always pretty fucking airport was empty my at three o'clock the airport was completely empty when I walked that everybody flew out earlier and I'll tell you what when I landed at LAX

empty LAX was empty empty I couldn't fucking believe it. I've never seen it like if I was like, wait a second. No one could get back in. Do you guys ever, have you guys boycotted an airline? Because, like, it's weird. You can't, they have you over a barrel. You can get as mad as you want at them,

but some airlines only fly certain places, and they're the cheaper ones, so you've got to fly them sometimes. I bet a lot of people are going to boycott United after that. Yeah, but until the next vacation, like not many people be like, you guys fly a lot more than most people fly. Yeah.

I think when most people fly, it's just whatever airline's cheapest. Yeah, but if people have an option now, I think they're going to choose. My first choice is always American. I know where I'm going. Yeah. I know where I'm going.

If I go to New York, I'm only going Delta or the other one. America sinks your boat. Virgin's great, but they're going away. Virgin's not going to be around anymore. Where they're going? They're merging with somebody. Alaska. For some weird that, like, I don't know one.

I took Alaska Airlines. That was the only direct flight into Baltimore was Alaska, a fucking airline's a red eye. They do all right. Alaska does all right. And they fly me to Portland from Burbank. Yeah, they're good to Seattle, too. Really?

Yeah. Yeah, no, no, no, tremendous. Not bad. So that's the end of the Virgin. I'm telling you, I'm telling you, the leader right now is that meant. And I know you. I know the type of guy you are. Yeah, I know the type of guy you are.

They got a door. They got a door. And there's a latch right here that closes your door. So you go, foot, the door goes, like a Batman movie. It just closes real fast. When they bring you the food, they press the latch, and the door opens. And that's how she gives you the food, like Prisoner 44. I don't even know what you're saying.

I don't even know what it looks like. I put the sleep batting machine right here. I think it's like a pod, like those international. Let's see if you can find one. JetBlue. Jack Blue. I like Delta to Kennedy. It's very nice.

Very nice. They got to lay down bed and shit. I'm getting real tired of flying. I know. I like to do a residency in Los Angeles. Everybody goes to Vegas to do a residency. How many fucking people are there in L. You could sell out of LA every weekend if you had a club, like just a club?

Playa Del Carmen down there. What's that? Down there right by the airport. Where's Playa Del Carmen? By our friend. That's where he has the, his, Brendan, has the office down there. Nice and clean down there, Joe Rogan. That's a good spot, but anywhere down by the ocean takes forever to drive.

That's what it looks like. The pod? Let me see this thing. Let me see a close up. Ooh, that's nice. That's JetBlue? Yeah, I'm dog. Is this a new thing?

Yeah. How many of these are they have? They have, you can only go from here to Boston or here to JFK. So the whole plane is filled with these things? No, the front row. It's like eight rows, but you get an even number and you're by yourself. So it's essentially like first class. So they're doing first class.

There you go. That's by yourself. That's by yourself. They see that little box they give you? They give you a thing to cover your eyes. They give you a blanket. They give you a pillow. The bottled water is behind your left arm.

You can't even fucking see it. You know, and it's got a statue. You can put your bottled water right in there. You got movies. I saw The Godfather, too, on the way there. That's the refrigerator and the cheap seats. You have a refrigerator. Yeah, you just get up and help your fucking self.

This is for everybody, yeah. This is for everybody. That's hilarious. That's so mid-flight, you don't got a bottle of nobody. You get up, you get your fucking soda. These people getting it's 2017. Wow. But those front rows, I'm telling your dog, tremendous.

I was blown the fuck away. That's just like first class. And that goes to Kennedy? It goes to Kennedy. But not from Burbank. Me and Boss Routen had this conversation because Boss was like, you got to get on mint. I go, ah, Burbank there's no mint because it's a small airport. Right.

So the bigger plane can't land on that. Oh, is that what it is it? Burbank. Yeah. Oh, that makes sense. That makes sense. I always wondered why there's no first class. And they don't land in Newark either.

Nothing out of Burbank does? Two small flights. No, small flights. No, JetBlue doesn't fly into fucking Newark. Oh. Well, you don't want to fly in New York. Even if I land, even if I work in New Jersey, I usually don't fly in New York. I fly in New York.

Have you ever flown to Atlantic City? Yes. When I did the UFC there, I did. From right from here? I think. I don't remember. It was so long ago. I did the Borgata.

Did you do the Borgata with me? Yes. It was fun. We're militage. It's one of the few places. Like, the Borgad is one of the few places, and Henzo Gracie showed up, too, remember? Yeah. He was howling at your shit.

That's right. They were crazy. I remember. Hensel Gracie is a fucking maniac. He thought, like, the dirtier, the crazier you got, the more he was like, ah! He was fucking flopping around in his seat laughing. I always walked past that place. I'm scared to walk in.

Hensos? Yeah. In New York? There's killers. They are killers. They are killers. But they're super nice guys. It's a horror show.

You'll get tapped out, but they'll be nice to you. Oh, my. God. This is how it goes. Yeah, I'm scared of those New York schools. I always make plans. Yeah, I'm going to go over there after the Norton's show and show up. Yeah.

Fuck you. He's a great guy, though. I get in that goddamn Uber and I shoot right back to that ferry jack. Yeah. And I don't look back. Fuck you. They'll kill you. Austin, it became an hour with 10 plus they doubled the price.

So trust me. Those are those fees like 9-11 fees. This time's the plane of Vegas has been 50 minutes behind, and they still got me here on time. You know what I'm like from Vegas to Burbank? They know it's not that fucking... You really think they did take a securitus route? Really? They kill some time.

Why would they do that? Because how guilty would you feel if you took somebody for a half hour from here to Vegas? It's not a guilty thing. It's $234 fucking the fuel. The fuel costs so much money. They'd be crazy to do that. I don't know, though. Yeah, they'd be crazy to do that.

Fuel is the number one problem with air travel. The reason why they have to jack the rates up all the time is jet fuel keeps getting more and more expensive. Are you serious? As car fuel gets more expensive? But car fuel is not that bad right now. It's not that bad right now. Do you remember when Bush was leaving office? Yes. Ron White started flying commercial and that's when he got busted with weed because his fucking cut ex-wife, I don't know her. Maybe she's a nice lady. I'm just on Ron's side. But she ratted

him out and said he was going to be at the airport with weed in his pocket. So the cops met him at the airport with his luggage and busted him. They did this sting for a little bit of weed? Yep, staying for a little bit of weed. You can Google it. He went to fucking, I mean, I don't know if he got arrested, went to jail, but he definitely got popped at the airport, and it's because he was always flying private,

because he was doing the fucking blue collar tour, just bawling, out of control. Did you know Bill Murray got arrested for weed? I read that today, because I was reading something about him and his relationship with the guy who just died. He got arrested with like bales of weed. Bales? It was a lot.

I'm going to have to look it up. I read an article today about, like, the relationship, and he wasn't making, he wasn't paying rent, and him and his brother had like 17, something crazy, like huge amount of weed. Let me look it out. You know, he took, like, a long time off of movies. And Bill Murray's got a brother who's a priest,

like a big-time fucking priest somewhere. Like, I've heard this a couple fucking times. Bill Murray's, is Irish. He's Irish, yeah, yeah. Wow. Yeah, he was arrested with 10 pounds. What year? Let's see.

1970. Whoa, that's when 10 pounds was really 10 pounds. That's before acting. That's pre-acting. Still, amazing. Yeah, he got, yeah. Was it? Was that before Saturday Night Live?

Yeah, Saturday Live was 73, 74, 75. He only got probation. He got five years probation. Yeah. First time of fans, 10 pounds. 10 pounds. A lot of fucking weed. I'm addicted to Ron.

I can't stop smoking marijuana. I can't stop smoking marijuana and eating white chicks. And you tell the stories about bringing guns back from Colorado to New York every other weekend. You know, Bill Murray's the real deal, man. When he played the guy at first, Gonso, he played the writer first in the Buffalo. Where the Buffalo Rooms. He really, you know, that's why I saw him.

I saw him in fucking Woody Creek Tavern. And he was sitting with the dude. He's preparing for it? Yeah, like at this fucking job. He did a great fucking job in that movie. A lot of people sleep on that. Nobody ever saw it. Nobody even knows that movie exists.

I have that movie. You have it at home. I'm a huge Hunter-Rass Thompson fan. Yeah, that is when he answers the phone, when he's arguing with the dude or he's talking to him real mildly, and he just answered the phone, he goes, what? Yeah. I lose it every time. I know where I saw that movie the first time.

You know, where were we with the other night? What were we watching the on that people are going on there? We were in the brand pro watching Blues Brothers. Mayhem Matt Fultron losing it. At the bar. At the bar. Losing the debt. When they play and they get hit with the bottles

and they do a stand-by-your-man. Fucking Belushi was just on a different level. Oh, yeah. I don't know. Do you say it's the drugs? I'll tell you, when you do that many drugs and you wake up the next morning, the next day you're very unconscious.

The best days I had as a salesman when nights I fuck and I felt my spine tingling. You know what I'm saying? When nights that I fucking felt the electric jolt of cocaine, I would be a sports salesman, and I would wake up and go in there. By 12 o'clock, I'd made three grand. Is it like a hangover? What is it like?

It was a hangover, but I'm unconscious. I really don't know what I'm doing. You know, when you think about things and you go into something and you think about it, you can't really, it's when you don't think about it. It's when you're just flowing. And I would just flowing. I would say, Joey. No nerves.

What is it on Saturdays? You always do great. And I remember I used to snort so much coat then That I couldn't even get sprays to open up my nose So I would take two tissues and just stick them up my nose So the drain And I would sit there all day with two tissues They would look at me and go

What's up? Nothing At the car dealership? No, at the sports dealers Oh, sports betting So I'd be on the phone stalking But even with cars My best days were after a 10-hour fucking binge-a-thon You know

Wow It's fucking amazing Last night I was telling you guys, I went to the Dodger game, my uncle. Now, this is the same uncle that we pulled guns on each other 25 years ago. This week is the 30th anniversary. Oh, you guys pulling guns on each other? We pulled guns on each other. We pulled on the guns on each other in September of 84 on Vermont Boulevard here.

Really? Yeah, right in California. My uncle is my mother's brother. Blood, not like, oh, we're brother. No, blood. Grew up together, Cuba, the same house. Liz and Glendale always has. Since I used to come out here when I was a kid.

That's not my. I used to come out here when I was a kid. I don't know who's fucking buzzed at it is. It's not mine. I don't have one of those dings. When I first came out here, God damn it. When I first came out here,

I came out here when I was eight, nine, and ten. We'd go to Dodger games, SeaWorld, Malibu. We'd go to his different jobs. And now when my mother died, I could have came back with him. But I was like, ah, California. What the fuck do I know about California? I kept in touching him.

And then when I was 21, I said, fuck New York. People were looking for me. I got to get out of town. So I came out here, and I tried to give this a go, you know, and he wasn't going for it, Joe Rubber. He was like, you got a room upstairs, you got a week to get your shit together. If you don't get it together in a week, you got to go, dog.

And I was like, I thought you're my mother's brother. But he threw me out, and I couldn't take it. So I tried to rob him. I couldn't go home with no. Nothing. So I pulled guns. He pulled guns. The cops came. The cab came. Because I was robbing him as he pulled up and he called the cops and the cab came. So I swore to God. I go, next time I see him, I'm going to fucking shoot you, you motherfucker. I mean, this was terrible. This was horrendous. Didn't you call him? Didn't you call him? This was terrible. Didn't you call him? I mean, I was horrendous. I didn't you call him. I know what this is. I'm going to come after you. And I would hang up on him. I was pissed. I was pissed about it. And now you're going to dodge and get him. I used to talk. games with them. Yeah, man. It's the weird... We had them on the podcast. Do you think you could ever live in Manhattan? We had this discussion with somebody a few weeks ago and they showed the rent of where I grew up on 88th Street and I nearly shit my pants. Oh, it's insane. The same place

where I grew up now. I think it was, what was it, seven grand for a one bedroom? That's not even outrageous. Yeah. The money there is so crazy. It makes you wonder how anyone getting afford to live there other than like really wealthy people. If there's any city that gives me anxiety, it's New York City at night anymore. Yeah? I've gotten to the AIDS and I've gotten very comfortable here. And when I go play the stand on Thursday nights, I stand on the corner before you go in. And I actually fucking can't take the cars anymore.

Like the speed, that electricity, I'm not used to it anymore. Really? Yeah, it fucks with me a little bit. So on Thursdays, I don't go into the city no more. I just wait until I go to the shows and I, you know, it's weird. How you when you're from that area it takes you a couple days to acclimate like I was getting on the ferry and I was getting bullied on the ferry Yeah getting bullied straight up people walking in front of me and shit, but I'm from LA I don't need this aggravation I saw Thursday days they were doing that? Oh, they're fucking rude motherfuckers the people live on the Jersey side and they work in New York

They think their shit don't stink so they cut you all you know and you overcome it because you're an adult and you don't give a fuck By Saturday, some lady pregnant with a fucking thing was trying to cut me off, and I finally go, oh, relax. Like, you forget that you're a nice person. Like, you forget. People not opening up doors, like people pushing. You're like, you know what? I'm from a different civilization, you know, like people, you forget.

And then you toughen up by Saturday, but then you'll leave on Sunday anyway. So what's the toughness for? You know what I've been saying for a while? Is it what's going on in New York and what goes on the entire East Coast? with the difference between the way people behave there versus out here is that they're still too close to the people that first landed there.

Like the people that first landed there, like my grandparents and their families, they came out from Europe, Italy and Ireland and everything like that. Those were barbarians. Those people were animals. I mean, you just think about life, like you're talking about the Depression, right?

This is all my grandparents came, like, when the Depression was going on. I mean, it was a hard, hard world. people were tough and they were mean and you got fucked with and you know my grandfather used to tell me horror stories about getting bullied and they call them a guinea wop like and just mean shit and beating them up

and just everybody was mean was the Arabs of today yeah yeah that's how you have to look at a hard mean world if it was today Trump would ban fucking travel Italy yeah probably no I saw that documentary and it was the most interesting thing I ever saw and it really taught me a lot about that culture

I grew up around because it always seemed very interesting to me. HBO did a two-part special on Sinatra, and the first part, they discussed his childhood in Hoboken and how at that time, the Irish were the oppressor. The oppressor. The oppressor. So the Ginnies weren't allowed past 9th Street, which really fucked with them.

Then stuff happened, and the Italians grew, and then they got past 9th Street, but Sinatra always had that mentality. of I was never allowed over 9th Street. You got to watch it. It's fucking interesting. Plus, I understood the people I grew up with from North Bergen. See, Hoboken is moving on up to North Bergen.

We've got a house up in North Bergen. We've got a front yard. You know what I'm saying? Like half of the people I grew up with, their roots are Hoboken. So when I watched that special on San Francisco. So North Bergen was better? North Bergen was more residential, where Hoboken was more, you know, tenements and three floors and, you know, yeah.

North Bergen, once they built North Bergen, a lot of people moved to North Bergen. There used to be a club in Hoboken. What was it? It was a stand-up club there. I don't remember. I was long gone by it. They still do stand-up there. Danny A. L.O. has a room on Tuesday nights.

They've been really trying, like, over the years to do stand-up there. I did a benefit for the Hoboken Police Department. Oh, yeah? Oh, a long time ago. I did it. I did the club there in, like, 91 or 92 or something like that. and they had pictures all over the wall the time Eddie Murphy stopped by and so I remember like Eddie Murphy was here at one point in time like you know they had like a photo and it said you know like 1989 Eddie Murphy you know it was like three years ago and everybody was like oh remember that time three years ago

hey Murphy came down there fuck I didn't know it was a comedy club in Hoboken when I started I started in Denver when I went back the big club was rascals and the other one but there was also Main Street Showcase it was it was I it was always that It was, I saw Bill Bellamy on the plane one time, and I was talking to him about it. He goes, yeah, that was my roots, Main Street Showcase. Bill Bellamy. I forgot about Bill. Jay Moore, all those guys were from that part of New Jersey. And when Florentine came in here, him and Norton are from, like, South Jersey, Middle of New Jersey.

They moved to Northern New Jersey got an apartment, and they were all Jersey guys. Like, they're Jersey guys, I'm saying. Don't take them seriously. Yeah, right? He was saying that nobody took him seriously. Yeah, Norton always had that. It, like, bothered him. You're not funny until you moved to New York.

Yeah, isn't that funny? Like, you have to go to New York to be taken seriously. If you live in New Jersey or just a hack, telling fart jokes and shit, you know? Those clubs in Jersey are brutal. I mean, bananas is club, the one by Fort Lee. And it's brutal. You do comedy on a ping pong table.

Do you do the one in Pekipsy? I did the one in Poughkeepsie. I did that one. A couple times, that's in a ballroom, Lee. And it's next to a gas station. That's as good as it gets, though. And they put you in the downstairs room. When I tell you, it's fucking freezing.

It's fucking freezing. They got one diner in the lobby, and it's the worst food you've ever eaten in your life. Even if they give you the 30% off, you'd rather fucking starve to death. That's how bad that place is. And you're stuck up there for two fucking nights. next to a gas station.

That's it. I worked up there with Tony V. Do you know Tony V? Fuck yeah. I worked up there with Tony V. I was the middle. He was the headliner. And some lady kept flashing the light while I was on stage.

I was supposed to do like, I don't know, 25 minutes, something like that. And I had like 10 or 15. She's flashing the light. And I did, I ignored it. I just did my set. I got off stage. And she goes, okay, I don't know if you know how we do it here. But you can't do that language at this club.

and I remember saying like, what are you talking about? I was laughing. I was already moved in New York. I was already getting work. I already had Sussman as a manager. I was like, what? And she was like, you're going to have to change your act worker? I go, no, I'm not.

I go, what are you? The manager here? I go, I got booked here by the owner of the club. I go, I'm going to do my act. They know what my act is. I mean, you don't like it? So you want me to change? And like, she looked at me and, you know,

like, she didn't expect that. And I just raised my eyebrows and I just walked away. And then I just finished out the weekend And she never spoke a fucking word to me again She didn't say hi She didn't look at me Isn't that great when you have to fucking Once I yeah

Once I got to drop a bomb on the motherfucker And now just look at you like what She was talking to me like she was the manager At Wendy's and I was the fry boy She's like I don't know if you know how this works here You know like she's like the lady that takes the tickets You know those clubs are all in a hotel You know like bananas was in a hotel right?

Yeah both of them Both of them. So she just decided she didn't like my act. You know, because I talked about sex. So she's just decided that I was going to have to change my act. I don't know. I'll never forget her face. I don't know if you know how we do it here.

But you can't do with that language here. Fuck. Let me tell you some. It's amazing, those people. It looks like an app. He has to go to Huntington Beach to buy him. He brought walnuts, organic walnut, and something else. For the last 50 years, he doesn't eat like a Cuban person.

He eats like a fucking Gentile. from Studio City. But he goes nuts like organic milk, because whole milk makes you swell up, you get inflame. I mean, he didn't stop. Every time I see him, it's a fucking earbeat.

He brings his own eggs to a diner and makes them cook them. Yeah, he don't like regular eggs like you. He don't believe in eggs from the store. They are very different. He's got to fucking get his own eggs or they got to eat organic grass. I should have brought you over some eggs.

Oh, I could just imagine. How delicious are real fucking eggs? I get almost a dozen. eggs a day. A day? A day? Yeah. How great are they? 24 chickens.

And how great are they? Oh, they're tremendous. They look different. The yolk is like a dark orange. And they taste different. They taste better. I mean, I get them fresh. Fresh, yeah.

Like, I'm eating eggs that just came out of the chicken that day. How long? I never understood how chickens do they have to have sex? No. Is it like sex or they just keep laying eggs? No, they lay eggs every day. If the hen fucks them, the eggs are live. Then the eggs become a chick.

but if the rooster if the rooster doesn't fuck them then they just lay eggs I don't have any roosters so the hens just lay eggs they're just duds they lay them every day almost are duds

yeah they're duds they could never become a person never could become a chicken I didn't know that either until I got chickens yeah I never because they look I knew they did it every day but I was like

but that's why it's crazy that vegans won't eat chicken eggs like they cannot become a chicken it's impossible and look if you go by my house My chickens are like my friends. Like, they come and hang out. Like, Jessica loves them.

Their chickens are, the kids love them. They're fucking, they're little animals, man. Like, look, they're hanging around the yard. You pet chickens? Oh, you can pick them up. You pick them up and everything? Oh, my God, they're beautiful. Yeah, I got 24 of them.

And you have a little place for them and everything? Oh, yeah, they have a big house. They have a chicken house. I had it built. They go wandering around my yard. and then at night they go back in there? They go back in on their own. No, no drama from the animals?

There's been, no, not from my dogs. No, but there's been coyote drama and hawk drama. The hawks see them and the hawks are trying to get in on them. But the area where they're at, there's a lot of trees, and they go under the trees. And so the hawks have to have an area to swoop in, grab them, and then swoop back out. And they're a little too big for that.

So now, but when they were little, there was one of them turned up missing. I'm pretty sure a hawk got one of them, one of the smaller ones. It was a long-ass time ago. But the coyote. Coyotes go around the fence and they look in every now and I catch them looking in. I'm going to get a fucking pistol and air pistol.

Set them up. Set them up. That's amazing. Put a little cat food out there. Pink. Pink? No, my uncle makes everybody hands down look bad. Like he drove me. He's amazing. No rice. No, no nothing. Just eats real healthy.

He's been juicing for 50 years. He's like these fucking jack-gloves, they think they invented some. Something. Me and Jack Whaleen had a talk 50 years ago, and he told me about juicing. Did he really ever talk of Jackal Lane? He said he bumped in. Jack LaLane was, he was the guy that was doing that a long time ago. He would take like a fucking giant bowl of vegetables and juice him down. Well, juice him down.

So my uncle said when he came out here in 50-something, he came out here to be somebody's maintenance man. He was working in New York as a maintenance man in a building, and an actor lived in the building that was a soap opera guy. And he goes, I got a big house in L.A. Could you come out there and be a maintenance man as a house? there in the back that you could live back there. My uncle's like, fuck it. I don't know, I'm living in New York any when he came out here. Then the guy had some TV show. So my uncle would go down to

the studio and he said he meant that he was, like in Spanish, it's really funny. He was telling me how he was mesmerized with Jack O'Land. This guy used to do push-ups with one fucking hand, you know? Like the Cubans, that's huge. He was a fucking savage. And he always said then

that you always should eat a carrot blended or something. Yeah. My uncle said what, and the onions. I mean, I heard Jack Lorraine used to go fuck. Garlic, yeah. Garlic, yeah. He was the original juices, so he's been juicing. He juices, he only has a certain, he hasn't eaten sugar in 50 years.

The word is a Jackalien would fuck everything that moves. Female or male? Male. Oh. No, female. You know, when I was a kid, I remember waking up, and that motherfucker had an exercise show at 9 a.m. Oh, yeah.

With the suit. Oh, yeah. He had the suit, so you never know. A jump suit. The little fucking jump suit. No, no, he would, you know. he would uh he was eating healthy before everybody he was working out like deep into his 60s and 70s he was doing stunts where like for his 60th birthday he towed like 60 boats behind him like swimming he did he did a bunch of

really crazy shit like that like he was an incredible fitness incredible shape but yeah he had fucked everything you couldn't go near him even when he was older when he was older I mean which makes sense. I mean, why would he be so motivated to have such a great body, like, deep into his 50s and 60? If you worked out that much, you know you're fucking horny as fuck. Yeah, your testosterone is flying. When you throw metal around

and shit and push-ups and pull-ups, you got dick for three or four people. You really do. You really do. When you lift weights and shit, like when I was going at kettlebell gym, like really, like the fucking dead lift and shit, I had

dick for days. Like, I a jerk off, give somebody your stabbing, and that two, you have to bang one out again, standing up. That's the worst. You got to bang one out standing up in your bathroom, hiding against the doors. Yeah, there's something pathetic about jerking off standing up. I haven't done that a long.

Oh, that's a disgusting way. When you have to bang one out in the shower, and then you lay... I like hotels because you lay down on your back, and it just comes on you like a fountain. You don't give a fuck, it's your own come. My married friend, since he has to do it into the toilet. He does it on his iPhone in his bathroom

because it's going on. Oh, oh my God. Yeah, he should be shot. Oh, God, that's sad. I would never just shoot into a toilet. You got to play with it. Well, see, the thing is, too, about, like, when you're away, like, if you go away, like if you do, like, a comedy or something like that, where you go on the road,

you come back home and, you know, you miss your girlfriend. You miss your wife. You're looking forward to seeing her again. But when you're with someone all the time, and you can't even jerk off. Because, like, you're at work all day. Can't jerk off at work. You get home. She's home. You're there together every night, day in, day out, the monotony and the grind,

and then you're jerking off into a toilet. That is just something just defeating about. It takes all the zest out of life. You're just hiding in the bathroom. Why are you in there for so long? What are you doing in there? I like working. I like working off a different place. I have to get a Q-tip. What are you, why is the door locked? What are you doing? You've been in there for five minutes. What are you doing? and they just concentrate jerking

down downward jerking because you just you don't want to miss the toilet you don't want to shoot all over the top you don't want to upper deck your load I don't think I don't think that's accurate about that I've jerked off everywhere

I have found a way like this time you're sitting there you're like you know what I got 10 minutes right or you never whacked off when you're on the trailer for your fact that Oh I worked off yeah You just you never whacked off when you were

editing. And then off is? No. Why not? You're by yourself? You ever whack off driving? Fuck yeah. Not fully, but I've like gotten horned up.

I can't imagine coming on like the car. Oh, I fucking wiped off. Have you really? Yeah, fuck yeah. You look for an old McDonald's bag. You wipe that fucking sperm on it. I get nervous when I sneeze when I'm driving. I go in the back seat.

How do you? How do you? How do you act? It turns green in three fucking days. I only whacked off once while driving. And I remember after I jerked off while I was driving. I was like, great. Now I jerk off in the car too.

I was thinking I was going to do this. all the time and I for whatever reason I only did it once one fucking time I think I did it one time when I was driving limos I just lifted up my shirt shot one all over my stomach put the shirt down padded it down like a soul to me you said it was saying coming back from New Hampshire I did the week one time I was dumb enough to take a week because I was a coked out fucking savage at the Houston little club the little club the little club on the south side oh that's the one that Ralphie used to do yes yeah I saw So they put you up in a hotel.

It's the middle of nowhere, right? It's like, it's out there. Somebody else took it over now. They sold it and somebody else took it over. That club was there for a long time. They got a different type of audience than West Gray. Let's just say. It was completely different than the last stop.

So I went there one Sunday night and the owner was there. And I did my set. And he goes, when do you want to get booked to you? And I go, you know, I call Pete. I go, Pete, you mind? He goes, no, no, take the week. I took the Thursday, Friday and Saturday. So I get to, I do the Thursday night.

He's not there. The wife is there. So the same thing fucking happened, right before I go on stage. And at that time, I wasn't, my head wasn't in it like that. She came up to me. She's like, listen, I heard rumors not here. Here we work spotless clean. If you say one bad thing, you're fired.

Oh, those fucking people. Well, guess what? I shit my pants. I really did. For the first 15, I tried, I struggled. I was eating death, and then I just let loose, and they went fucking bananas. I said, fuck it. I'll just take the 200 for the night. I don't give a fuck.

I walked off. She didn't talk to me. The next night I came in, the husband was there. I pulled him aside. I go, she didn't fucking know. She goes, ah, I explained to her last night what happened. I'm sorry, Danny, that was his name. I'm sorry, blah, blah, blah.

I go up there and right there. It was one of those clubs were right here as the stage, and people actually take their drinks. And they're looking at you like this. And 20 minutes into my fucking show, I'm looking at this couple. And I'm looking at her. And she's fucked up, John Rogan. She's fucked up.

And I'm like, oh, Jesus Christ. And finally, I keep checking out like every eight minutes. And she's getting deeper and deeper. She's closing one eye. Once they close the one eye, they're fucked up. And finally, so I go like this. And she covers her milk. No.

No, no, no, no. The puke starts shooting out everybody. Like a fucking, what's that thing the kid's playing? Like a sprinkler. But just awkward chunks. And then she just let it all out. And she sat there for five minutes,

puke all over itself. Bro, nobody paid. Everybody got up like somebody was shooting. You thought terrorists were shooting in the club. Everybody got up and started running for the fucking door. They had to stop people. She had a puddle of bar for around. And the boyfriend left.

the boyfriend just got up and walked out like he didn't know nothing there's 100 you didn't see me with me give me back my credit card and you can't I never went back there again once somebody pukes on stage I can't I can't hang out with you no more it's amazing like the bad advice they give you early on your stand-up career I want to shoot them all on the fucking that they always tell you you can't make it if you're dirty like they tell you can't make it I mean I I can't remember how many times I heard that What is this fucking pipe? Holy shit.

Somebody gave me that in Cleveland. That's the savage stuff. We only let them out for special occasions. This thing's amazing. Oh, my God. Do the people at home see this thing? Oh, that thing is fucking tremendous. Oh, this is, who did this work?

You know, somebody in Cleveland gave it. There's a whole industry, like a whole art form now, glass pipe art form industry. I mean, there's amazing artists that are just doing glass art. I got another one at the house that kid gave me that. I don't even want to smoke out of it. It's so beautiful. Incredible.

I need a picture. that's the Sabbath that's the original right there he's missing the tooth he don't give a fuck what kind of advice did they give you for someone peaking on you

when you're on stage they didn't say nothing they can't be advice for that there was no advice I walked off the stage and knew I wasn't going to be ever there ever again you understand me

that's what I knew for sure look at me going there's some places you fucking go and you know you're never going to go back there they would just tell you like

they would give you advice. Like when you're young, you're starting out. Like, say if you're a young guy and you're... Who pulled you over? Everybody. Let me know the people who pulled you over. Everybody. That you look at you and go, what's happening?

I don't want to say their names, but they never made it. They never made. The one guy that did make it that had already made it at the time, who gave me the opposite advice was Lenny Clark. It was funny because his brother, Mike was a booking agent. He was a great guy. Mike Clark, that guy paid my rent fucking many, many, many, many times with his gigs. Because he was one of the guys that.

He had a lot of satellite rooms. He had giggles and Saugus on Route 1. And he had a few outside rooms, and he would book his brother Lenny. And Lenny was on HBO. He had done Roddy Dangerfield special. Lenny was a big comic. He'd done a bunch of movies. Like, Lenny was big.

And it was before Lenny's sitcom. Remember when he had that sitcom? And I opened up for Lenny's at J's in Pittsfield, Massachusetts. It was in Western Massachusetts. It was way out there, like two and a half, three hours away from Boston. and people loved it there because it was a real stage and they had real comedy there. Like they had Lenny Clark when Lenny Clark was big. And I went up and I opened up for Lenny.

It was the second paid gig I ever got in my life. And I got off stage and Mike Clark said, Buddy, you're fucking funny, but I can't book you. You're too dirty. And he goes, that bit you do about Madonna, you can't do that. It's like it's funny, but you got to clean it up. You got to clean it up. And so Lenny comes off stage.

Right after his brother gives me advice, Lenny goes, I'll say he goes, he goes, kid, you are fucking hilarious. He goes, don't change a thing. Holy shit, that Madonna bit had me laughing my balls off. And he goes, Lenny, I just told him to stop doing that bit. He goes, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, you should probably stop doing it. It's going to be hard to get work. But fuck, kid, you're funny.

And it was like good advice and bad advice, and I listened to Lenny. I was like, you know, his brother's a great guy and everything like that, but Lenny is Lenny Clark. So to have Lenny Clark tell you you're funny I was like wow that was huge for me But his brother's giving me bad advice He's like but he wanted me to work You know, but that was the thing back then

It was in 1989 or 1988 Back then you couldn't work if you were dirty Like there was no work Everybody wanted to get on the Tonight show No there was a few HBO specials That had been given out like DeKinnison And a few other people But you ought to be somebody to get those

If you wanted to be dirty You had to be somebody already So what it was was a lot of these guys guys who were, you know, quote unquote dirty, they would have clean sets that they would do on the Tonight Show or Letterman or whatever. And then they would have a few dirty bits that they would reserve for a nightclub and they would close with those bits. So if they ever did an HBO special, that's when they would do those. I knew I had to be dirty three years. Like I was just lying to myself.

People come up to me with that fucking bullshit. And I gave it a New York try. I tried it. I tried it, but it just didn't work out for me. I don't, I'm not going to ask you to do a joke, but like, what was a clean premise for you? I don't really know a clean premise for you, to be honest. That's old weed. Oh, is it?

All right. A clean premise in those days was. Oh, Jesus Christ. A clean premise. Hold on, hold on. A clean premise in those days was a Godzilla. Oh, what would Godzilla do? Oh, you got to look at this thing.

You guys are advanced here. What would Godzilla do if he came back into the Hudson? You know. It was terrible. It was terrible. It was brutally terrible. I had a thing about a ship going into the Hudson. I had a thing about speakers.

You could put them back in the windows because bows, something electric. It was just a horror show. It was a fucking horror show. I can't imagine you making electronic jokes. Joey used to try to be clean in the early days when I first saw him. It was a nightmare. Joey was trying to deal with agents and managers. When you first moved to LA, we first became friends.

Yeah, you were dealing with all those people. And one day you go, you know what? It really doesn't matter. I never had that in nowhere else. I went to karate since I was a kid. Nobody's let me do these things. Nobody's laughed at you. Well, you know what the difference is?

One of the big ones is in karate, you don't want anybody hitting you. Like, people hit each other. You hurt each other. Like, there was a camaraderie that we had in martial arts, but it was always still a little weird because you would spar. When you'd spar, you'd hurt each other. And jiu-jitsu you spar, and you could be real good friends. You could go full blast.

And the better you get, actually, the safer it is to go full blast. Because, like, I know that there's certain guys, they'll get you in something. You can tap, and they have full control. You're not going to get hurt. It's almost like the guys who aren't as good are more dangerous because they're going to try to yank on something. And they could wind up injuring you. So, like, when you get guys who you become, like, real competitive with,

and you get that camaraderie, it's actually better. And you're super, super competitive with each other, but always super supportive and really friendly. Because you can be. Like, you want a guy to like you. You want to like each other, and you can still go full blast. Like, I have real good friends tap me, you know, and it doesn't, it's not a bad thing at all.

I giggle. I love it. Hey, it is what it is, you know? Like, Eddie's tap me every time we've rolled. I mean, maybe one or two times I've ever rolled with him and just stalemated him, like kept them off. me, like being just 100% defensive, most of the time he catches me two or three times every time we roll.

But we're best friends, you know, a million guys from that gym. It's the same story. Like, Denny, Denny's caught me before, and, you know, he's the greatest guy ever. He just won, yeah. He's had a lot of neck problems. He's had some neck problems lately. When I went up day, we worked on the breath of fire. He's a bad mother fire.

You ever broken the breath of fire, cock sucker? I don't know what that is. Well, we'll do it with it tomorrow. Joe Rogan, I love you. I love you too, brother. It was fun to do this, man. Yeah, yeah, no, thank you for coming. It was a pleasure.

The candle burned out. Once the candle burns out. It's time to go. Oh, Jesus. That was a real hard. That sounded like you threw a fucking M-80 into a bucket of water.