The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - The CHURCH: BEST of JOSH WOLF, Vol. 1 | with JOEY DIAZ

Episode Date: July 3, 2023

Best of JOSH WOLF on THE CHURCH:    #288 - Aired - 6/4/2015 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VCBVTQweZCQ #419 - Aired - 10/6/2016 -  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-uLa91BC94&t=3s #501 - Aired - 7/25/2017 -  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yv8MGWCQLp8&t=5112s #801 - Aired - 7/6/2020 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=We_sop9zhJY&t=9s   This podcast is ALWAYS presented by ONNIT!   Go to https://www.onnit.com & Enter PROMO CODE: JOEY, JOINT or CHURCH The Mind Of Joey Diaz is on PATREON: http://bit.ly/TheMindOfJoeyDiaz  #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint #TheChurch #JoshWolf #LeeSyatt

Had a great weekend this weekend. Everything is beautiful. Happy Fourth of July. We didn't get to see each other on Friday or talk. But I hope all you motherfuckers had a happy fort. Hopefully you got all your fingers. I know a lot of motherfuckers are walking around with eight fingers today in the story. You know what I'm saying?

A lot of motherfuckers walking around with eight fingers. A couple guys are just elbowing into death right now today. The fuse went too fast. You know what I've been there. I've seen fingers flying. No biggie. No biggie. You'll be right in about a year.

By next 4th of July, you'll learn a new fucking drill. You'll learn how to throw it with the hook. You know what I'm saying? You'll be fine. The hook always works. The firecracker goes farther when you use a hook. Joshua, did you see that at the night? Did you see the aerial footage of L.A.?

Like, next time, just fucking tell people. Yeah. You can't make dick illegal now. Not right now. No. People are going to blow off. There were bombs going off by my house. I woke up this morning.

It was a leg. In front of the little Iraqi leg in front of my house. I just threw it in a fucking garbage. There were more fireworks in my neighborhood. But not like like pop pop, like legitimate firework. I was in my office. I thought a bomb went off. I went to check on my family.

I'm like, you guys are all right. I will tell you though, July 5th is the best day. Today was the best fucking day to go on YouTube because all you see is drunk people fighting at barbecues, people holding on the firecracker for Stool. long and white dudes firing firecrackers out of their asshole it's the fucking best day to be on youtube you see more dudes with bottle rockets propped up on a four chair yeah today was the day to be on youtube you know what else today last week i did a podcast ready for this one about how

was my wife's and i 20th anniversary last wednesday but you know it's also what this week is it's our 25th anniversary we met July 2nd, 1995, this weekend in Seattle. In fact, it was the same setup because we did have an open mic Monday. The 4th of July was Saturday. And I went down to the underground. I looked in the window. I'm like, oh, my God, I rubbed the brick.

I'm like, I'm finally here at the underground. And then we had an open mic Monday. You came in with your hat and I jumped right on your dog. What's up with the Boston? That's up? Yeah, yeah. I'm surrounded with all these people with yarmacazana. Whatever the fuck.

But 25 fucking years, I know you now. Holy shit. I didn't want you to feel old, but fuck it. My fucking God. 25 years. You came on on a Monday. You got to go back to Lobo Loco. Yeah.

And then I think we finally, Tuesday you hung out. There's Tuesday you can hang out. That is crazy. 25 years this week. I had no idea. deal this week. I got there like July. I did the triple run.

When you got there, how soon did you make it down to the underground? Like how long had you been in Seattle? You got there and did a triple run? You want the truth? Yeah. I did the triple run on a Saturday night. It had to be, I was in LaGrange, Oregon. With Carol?

No, I was alone. See how far it is from LaGrange, Oregon to Seattle, Washington? So you were by yourself I was by myself My deal was to do a Triple run to lead me To Seattle To drop me off

A few hours from Seattle Do you have any Do you remember at all who you were doing that run with Some shitty fuck Oh no no I don't remember His name But he was a really

Really really good guy As a matter of fact He lived in like Lagoon the beach. It's about 325 miles. So 325 miles divided by 70 miles and hours, what? Five hours. I think I did it in like three hours. Because she was getting out of work at the strip club at two. And I beat her to her apartment. She left me a key under the mat. Yeah. And I went in and she came home in the strip club. So that was a Saturday night at two. Yeah. I was at the underground the next day by lunchtime had attention yeah man you understand me yeah like I don't know not I don't

what you're talking about she's talking about going to pick pick pick with Pikes yeah yeah I'm like oh fuck your mother in the air yeah let's go see the underground yeah so we took like a fucking cab down to the underground it was closed it was lunchtime I was like fuck and I rub the brick I could tell that there was a bar like the bar the bar upstairs yeah yeah yeah fuck is this this is not what was And how had you heard about the open mic on Monday? Did you ask somebody at Swanee's? Because there wasn't like an internet.

You were looking at up. It was closed that Saturday. Yeah. And it was closed that Sunday for the 4th of July weekend. Got it. So I called like Monday and Ron Reed called back and he's like, oh, tonight's the open mic. Because I, oh, Rick Kerns gave me the.

Do you remember? Rick Kerns gave me the, he goes, when you go up there, tell Ron Reed, you're a friend of mine. To Fox, you're a friend of mine. So I called Ron Reed. Ron Reed just said, go down to the thing and sign up. Carl was there. The best.

He put me up like number one, because they always put you up first. The first night you went. Yeah. You went up first. Whoever hosted got 50 bucks. Yep. 50 bucks. How much is 50 bucks back then to you?

A lot. When you host on a Monday and you got 50 bucks. Come on, man. And then my girl had the contest in Tacoma. Oh, yeah. Susan Jones. Yeah. The fucking thing in Tacoma.

That's how we made a living. Mondays. Mondays was our big living. If you won the contest, you won a yardstick, and you'd come back to follow Monday and host. But also, you know what else you, we did a bunch up there was we would find, we would find one-nighters that we knew weren't going to last,

but for like two or three months, you got a paycheck to host or whatever. You know what I mean? Like, we must have, I personally, must have started and failed. 15 rooms. At least, right? I mean, so fucking many. So many.

They lose. But, like, I still remember you taking me to an undergrad. We used to do, it was pretty much the same shit. Monday, Tuesday was the underground. Wednesday was a Laura Crockett gig, one of those gigs. Thursday, we crashed somebody's. Well, we're not. No, Wednesday we still had the underground,

because Wednesdays, it was still somebody's night. Yep. So if Lee, I had had a night, sorry, Lee. We're coming down. Yeah. We're coming down. We did a lot of people's nights on Wednesday. We're coming down on Wednesday night.

Don't worry about nothing. Did any of those guys let you tour with them up there? Who took you out on the road? Vince Falunzuela. So I got there on a Monday, all right? Yeah. I got there on a Saturday. This is how I tell people.

Like, I tell people, like, listen, when you're dealing with me, you're dealing with the wrong guy. Like, if you come to me and tell me your story, you're dealing with the wrong guy, because you're not going to stop me. Yeah. So I got there on a Saturday at 2 in the morning. I was at the underground at 12 the next day, which is the Lord's Day, and it was close. Okay?

Yep. You want to talk about love for comedy. And then I was back there. Monday, the open mic started at 8. I was there at 7. At attention, like, a fucking, like I was about to go on in Madison Square. guard. I went up then, he told him we come back tomorrow night.

Then I came back the next night. And then Wednesday, somebody turned me on to something, somewhere and Ballard. Yeah, Wednesdays were also the pizza. Those were the nights that we would find a place just to fucking if you give us $150 bucks, we'll put up 15

comics or we'll put up four comics, whatever we can put together. And then, you ready for this? That Thursday, I already got a call. I'm going to remind you of another story. that you're gonna so all these people at home could remember that Thursday I already had a call from John Fox you're working Friday and Saturday in Idaho at that Moscow Moscow Idaho and you know who the headline was wait Vince Valenzuela get

out and he treated me like a gentleman he's a good dude he's a good dude he's on Facebook yeah I said don't message a while ago he didn't hit me back so I don't know if he does he does he does he's a great he was a brother to me a super nice guy you did that for you did that geek for a 50 bucks well 75 bucks and he mailed you a check yeah a month later a month that was the worst yeah you had to drive back from there hung over as fuck because they would send you a prairie farts yeah which is tequila with tobacco sauce in them yeah I remember still seeing the new England Patriot quarterback at the airport drew bledzo

drew bledso yeah went to that school Washington state Washington state so it was fucking crazy because because Moscow is right across the line from Washington so Washington State and what's in Moscow is what university at Idaho maybe something like that but so they're right next to each other so yeah those Washington State guys came through all time before the first week I already featured Vince Valenz well I'm like I drove home on fucking Saturday going like wow now it's that easy like I just came up here yeah and bit slap motherfuckers into a first week of work that's fucking crazy okay then me and him were eating lunch I was eating free lunch at his bar one day.

About three or four weeks later, I'm eating fucking the chicken moly. That was tremendous. Oh, that dude made the best chicken muley. Who the fucking thing you're dealing with? Holy shit. And I would just leave him a shit. And he would give me like a check and I was pushing away.

And his brother with the fake eye because he got stabbed in it? Yeah. You can't write this shit. Those dude made some great fucking food. I'm up there with him. Do you still remember when Homeboy walked in and started a fight with me? You don't remember that fight that day. Because I went up there with fucking roller skaters.

Like I was in no mood. I just came from Denver. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You still remember who was what? Yeah, yeah. I just came from fucking Denver where there's no action where I would drive to fucking Wyoming to do an open mic. You got the wrong motherfucker.

You got the wrong guy. I would drive to Wyoming on Thursday nights to do an open mic. So stop with your bullshit. shit. So right after that I fucking wanted a tear because then Alberto gave me work the following week, the Cuban guy at the old improv.

The improv had closed in Seattle. That was right across from Pike's Market. And then we were going to bar downstairs across the street. Oh, fuck. Come on. Who the fuck you think you did with? That was the old improv theater, I think. The club was the improv theater. Out there was after Steve McGrew got... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So it was a theater. That was the improv. Across the street from Pike's peak is deja vu. Oh, yeah. Fifty ugly girls and one fat one. Whatever. And then across the street from that is Pike's Market in those days. Yeah.

And across the street from Pike's Market, on the side was a little bar we used to go on the side. You could sneak in. It was a white people bar. But Rod Long used to take this. Yeah. Rod Long used to take us. This was a light-skinned brother married to a white chick. Good dude.

Good dude. I just talked to him a couple weeks ago. Really good dude. Every time I see, I showed, I called my wife, my, I call him Zambo, but I call my daughter Zambo. But he was good to you up there, too. Rod Long was my brother. He was really good to you. That was one of the headlines.

Yeah, man. He was good to you. He was like, Rogan. Yeah. He was like, Rogen. Yeah. He was like, bring it. You're going to go up there and throw heat, bring it because I want to follow you.

He was a really solid guy. I still leaving messages. Eddie, what do you think of Zambor? And he'll call me back, Joe Dias. What the fuck is wrong with you, Joe Dias? Yeah, man. He was a good guy. Who was, so the first person...

He used to have an altoid can. Yeah. Filled with the best weed. Yeah. That was grown in the... He had good weed. Every time he'd show up, and he treated it like a fucking... Like a pot of gold.

It was an altoid can that he'd fill up with weed that was just... I remember trying to steal a butter from him one time. He's like, Joe Diaz. Don't think about it. The most important thing is, I know you're 20 years, you know, and you've had a lot of success in L.A., but now you got the thing you came here for. Yeah, my own talk show.

You got itself a little talk show. Just run me through and get you out of here. Well, you know, it's something I've always wanted to have my own talk show, right? And this is going to be on CMT, which is perfect for me, because they're trying to branch out and make it more of a middle of America programming. And the structure, I guess, is kind of like Chelsea was, where there's going to be two panels. we're not going to do a lot.

I'm never going to mention the Kardashians or Bieber or the housewives because I don't give a fuck. But I will talk about things like, okay, you know, I just saw an article where the Boy Scouts have outlawed water guns. They don't have boy scouts. So my thing is like, when did we get so fucking soft? Right.

So it'll be more like social issues, but with funny people. So if you made Mar, a little dumb down a little, bit, all the things that we want to tell. Look, look, look, you know, my buddy admitted to his wife of 10 years that six years in, he got a hand job from a masseuse. A week later, she's divorcing him. Three kids, 10 years in. I just want to talk about shit that I have an opinion about.

You know, these Instagram models who you fucked James Harden and then tweeted out a picture of him sleeping next door? What the fuck? Things that I want to talk about, right? So that'll be, and then that third act, I won't do any interviews because I don't, I don't really care that much about that. I'm a really curious dude. So it's going to be like a grown-up show and tell, man. I'm going to have people come on the show and teach me how to do shit that I don't know how to do.

That's what it'll be. And I'll have some of you guys join me. You guys will be up on the panel and stuff, but you guys join me too. I'm just going to, for me, I'm going to do what I think is funny, period. And you know, you know my sense of humor. It's a little goofy sometimes. I would call it intelligently stupid. Do you know sketches?

We'll do some feel pieces. I love to do a sketch. We go into your house and you're looking at your phone bill. Just shaking your head. You remember that? And all of a sudden, your brother comes out of the room with a bucket of Kentucky fried chicken, grape Kool-Aid, you know, everything black.

And all of a sudden he puts it on the table and you go, dog, who's been calling Compton, a Crenshaw? Remember that? I don't know nobody in Crenshaw. He did not walk out with chicken No My brother taught in South Central And he had a black girlfriend

Yeah And he was whole into the black movement This is when we were doing like We had to split our phone bills And I was down to the fucking penny Crenshaw That's me he's to charge you for calling Crenshaw Yeah and I was like hey

You got to pay this You're calling Crenshaw And he goes I didn't call Crenshaw I go what He goes I don't know anybody in Crenshaw I was like you teach in Crenshaw That's where you teach Remember he was adamant dude

I did not make those phone calls Who did it? Who the fuck? Nobody else knows black people. I know black people at the comedy store. That's all I know. Dude, you're coming on the show. Yeah, the 13th, right?

No, the Sunday. Yeah. Sunday the... Who the fuck? What about that? 10th, 11, 12, 13th. Sunday to 14th. What time?

11 o'clock. 11 o'clock. Well, dude, a bunch of you guys that, like, Tripoli's going to come on, love Tripoli, Ryan Sickler. You know, all guys that I think are fucking, funny because why not? It's like you said, dude. I got, however long I have to prove myself,

might as well do what I think makes me funny. Yeah. Yeah, go from there. How you doing, Lisa? You're all right, buddy? I'm good. You're looking good, feeling good, Billy? When you got your little, whose shirt is that?

Tell Joshua. Is this the... That's a Shug Night shirt. It was like Shug Night. That's a Shug Night where when Tupac got shot. I mean, he's, he's withering away. He's like, he's a bad motherfucker.

And he went to Jugg. Did you do Tuesday night to the beginning of class? It did for the first time. What they teach you? Huh? What they teach you? A single and running the pipe.

I don't know what it is. And you knew how to do the single already. There's was a little different. Wrestling, you have to kind of like drop a knee and go. Were you a wrestler? That's a very loose term. I was on the team. What were you wrestling at?

Wait. I think I started high school like 1-60. and by the end I was at like 189. Those little singlets, I fucking... I can't do it. The best look? Was your senior picture in the singlet? No, God.

Do you have any pictures of you in that singlet? I hope not. I think you should bring one in. I would fucking love to see that. I'll have to go check. I think you should change it and make it your Facebook profile pick. Oh, no. You need the poor guy along.

It's terrible. It's a fucking savage, this guy. I went done with Zach last night, and it was awesome. Was it good? How long was it class? An hour? Hour and a half. That's where I started, V-MAC.

It's a good little school. Right around the corner of you. Good guys. You've been taking Jiu-Jitsu for a while, though. Two fucking years now. Yeah. Zach said you're like the highest striped white belt. Oh, please.

I got like three-stripe white belt. I don't want to get, I don't want to be a blue belt. Why not? I got to touch feet. Oh, you don't like that. I do leg locks and shit. I don't want people touching my feet. I got that fungi pill.

Leave it alone. When you get a massage, you don't let them rub your feet. What's that? When you get a massage, you don't let them rub your feet? Well, who gets a massage? You don't get a massage? No. After you work out, you don't let some little Thai woman walk on your back?

I go over here. There's a little fucking place on Lancashim. They do a $20 happy hour at lunchtime? Yeah. No hand job on them. They got the chairs. Yeah. They soak.

You ever go in Italy? They soak your feet and then they rub your body. And you have your pants on your clothes on. She rubbed my feet. Yeah. It's one of those. She puts cream on your legs. Yes.

They put the cream, they rub your hands, they rub your shoulders. So you don't let them rub your feet? If they're ugly. Right over here by the house. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Right there by the little store, the general store, in there, by the pizza place, they got a little massage in their fucking little chick. Tuesday and Thursday.

The chick is really like a muscular Chinese woman. Really? So when she fucking digs into you, she digs in there. I thought I should have gone. today. I've never gotten a massage. Never? No. You should go over there. Let her beat you up. Well, the problem is I don't want to go over. I don't like people touching me. I don't like people behind me.

That's your asshole. That's your asshole exposed. They always got the drop on you. You know what I'm saying? No matter how much martial arts you know, if you've got your face looking down and you're thinking about something else, your fingers are going to get in your ass. Then you're going to be caught and they're going to hold you down. And then a bunch of those Chinese people are going to come in and finger banging. You're sitting there going, no, no. Oh, my God.

And you're going to go, why did this happen? Because I gave up my God. You never give up your fucking back. You don't switch governments. I don't fucking switch governments. I don't give up my guard. Let me get some sponsors in. Yeah.

Can't fucking do it. So the show premieres. June 11th. Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Which is next Thursday night at 11 o'clock. Please set your fucking VHRs. Do me the solid. Let's get this motherfucker.

You're laughing at that, aren't you? He got close. You got one? He was laughing that you said VHR. You mix VHS in DVR.

Whatever the fuck. D. B. H. H.S. Hey, listen, if you got a VHS, I've said that shit too.

Hey, it works. It all goes to the numbers. It all goes to the same fucking place, cock suckers. Just make sure the VCR's on Channel 3.

I mean, he loves the VCR bit. Oh, he loves that. That shit. Listen, I ain't fucking around with your people,

all right? You said three times there would not be any animals. And then we had like what? 175. Do you mind if I do this? Frankly.

I mean, the fucking edible. I mean, I'm going deep everything. You, you, visibly something has happened to him in the last five minutes. Yeah. Whatever that taffy is,

is pretty strong. That taffy's good. Yeah, and then the Green Hornet never. You don't want to do a star. I did a star. I saw that. No, thank you. We'll start with Uncle Joey.

Dude, that's 125. So, what? What are you fucking care? What are you got going on tomorrow? Nothing. That's it. Living? Living?

Who gives a fuck about living? It's overrated. Oh, my God. Mama coming over tomorrow? Yeah. After work. Right, then no one of you care. You can sleep all day and clean up your little Jew helmet.

You'll be ready for it when she gets home. What's the matter? I forget right now. Those stars are coming on strong. Are they coming on strong? They're coming on strong, but I just, like, I didn't get my, I had no game. game at all in high school. Like I didn't, I remember I got blue balls for the first time.

And after my senior prom. And everyone took a bus. Like, we had taken limos in junior year, but senior year the school just had a bus for everybody. Yeah. And I was sitting next to my friend. And I was like, what is happening to me? Like, I was like doubled over in pain. He was like, oh, yeah, that's blue balls.

Like, that was like, I was in, I was a senior in high school. I didn't lose my virginity until I think it was like 20 or 21. Let me ask you a question. How much can you see right now with your eyes partially open? I'm like George Costanza who can squint. I can see everything. Can you still see everything? Oh, yeah.

Because I mean, your eyes are like kind. They're like in that picture right there. Oh, yeah. That's a perfect picture. That's a perfect. I don't even notice that my eyes look like that. Hey, you said something to me earlier this week that you have never. said to me that you and I have never talked about and I could I it was I couldn't believe it's

way you waited this long to say it we were on the phone and you said something to me you said you remember you said something about you said something to me eight years ago and it was kind of harsh and I was like and I was like you were like because you were talking about we're talking about Gavin and you said but you said we talked in the phone about eight years ago and you said some shit to me that was pretty harsh but I went back and thought about it and didn't take it personally but you and I had never talked about that before like it's been it has been like eight years

no it was longer than 10 years yeah yeah you were mad for a while everybody gets mad but the drug thing kind of wore my welcome it's a few people yeah you were one of them you know there was just a few people Rogan was real close to saying it uh

there was just a few people that were real close to saying it but hold on before you go that I got to say something to you because I had no sexual experience and I always mix up the dates and then I went on a tear. I had to be 15 and I finally divergenized this one girl. And then I dated two more girls back to back that wanted no part of nothing, not even dry humping on the bathroom floor.

I had one at a birthday party and I'm like, get on the floor, let me dry hump you. And she's like, I'm not getting on the floor. I'll never forget that. And then I got a Carmine Bousano got me this job going into my sophomore year. Before I had to go to the hospital for my lung infection. Yeah. They got me this gig on a bus as a monitor. So when people went on trips, you had to give out 20 salami sandwiches and shit.

But they were paying me like 800 a week. You know what I'm saying? It was one of those jobs. And there was this girl, and the name was Lydia. And you know when we've all had this experience that we've grown up with a girl. and all of a sudden we see her when she's 15 or 16. Well, this girl isn't just a fucking girl at 16. She's a fucking woman.

Curves. She got the whole thing. Like, she's got the whole thing. You just look at her and go, oh, my God, this girl is banging, but it'll never work out for me. So I had to spend the week up in this district, which was Uptown with this Lydia girl. And every day we went to Jones Beach,

we went to a museum, and I gave out the sandwiches. and you know what by Thursday I'm flirting with her and I got a chance I never had a chance with a girl like this but I don't just have a chance with her make out with it she's just talking about sex and I'm like this time you're using using rubbers at all

no there was no rubbers in my life or my future it's 1970 no rubber it's the summer of 79 it's probably July of 79 and that's exactly how it went down For years you struggle to have sex with people, you struggle to find the words, and one day, through a mistake,

I said something to like, that bikini looks good on you or something, and she played me back. She goes, you've got to see what's under it. And I'm saying, we'll show it to me, and we went behind the bus, and she pulled, there was a bush of hair, and I was like, and I didn't know,

and then the next day I saw, and I'm like, were you going to let me touch that thing? And she's like, come on. And we went around, and I touched it. Like the next day I went back and we swapped spit and I suck the titties and I'm like so what are we gonna do this? And she's like wait till we get back my My brother has a basement It was the weird Josh it was like the weirdest fucking thing

And sure enough you know somebody lies to you? Yeah And you call them Friday I can't meet you I'm done No here's the address Went over there her brother left us We went downstairs The brother left? Yeah we got like the brother was 22 and she was like maybe 15 You know if I was 15 Yeah, I was like 15, 16.

Yeah? But she was in the North Bergen school system. I had never met her before, and I had never heard of this a savage before. Like, she was a savage. She lived near you. She went to your school.

I lived on, my mom was still alive, and she lived on 86th Street or something. And it was fucking crazy. I took a bus up there, met her, went downstairs, took a panty soft, tons of hair. You know, we never. You missed that bush a little bit. We never.

We never. We never. went down on each other? No? Like at that age, no. We just got together. No condom, boom. And then,

by the time I got to high school, she was gone. Like, she was that much older than me, and she was gone. Never a letter. A letter? Never a song. Never.

A signature. A boo? Nothing. Nothing. Just broke my heart. It was the weirdest thing. And until this day, it's every one.

Are you sure if she even existed? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was like a pixie. It was like a month relationship that was all dirty. Like, we went to the movie one time. Like, I tried to turn it into a, if you know anything about me. Yeah, I took it to a movie or something. You ever date somebody or hook up with somebody,

and after you hook up with them, they had something about them that they probably should have let you know ahead of time? The one and only time I've ever been with a girl who squirted, right? And I went down on her. And I didn't I had heard of a squirder before, but I'd never like, do you know what I mean? And when that shit came out, it's tremendous. No, but it fucking, my mouth was open.

And I didn't know exactly. I wasn't expecting it. Do you know what I mean? But if you're a squirder, that's something you kind of got to let somebody know going into the game. Like, fuck no, that's a surprise. No, no, it's not crack of a cracker. I'm telling you nothing. You are a squirter.

Yeah, I'm not going to say nothing. I'm going to squirt and then go, oops. No. Oops. Oops. I was like, you just got to let somebody know because I was not expecting that. Have you ever been with a squir?

No, I've never been on the one. I think I would prefer the way Joey squirder. Like, if I was going to be with a squatter, I'd prefer to be with a squatter. I'd prefer to be with a squirder. Yeah, you want to be surprised by the squirder. Yes, you do. You don't ever want nobody to tell you nothing.

Well, I guess it kind of depends on the girl. Like, was it like a girl you didn't want to have sex with? No, let me ask you something. If you're going down on a girl and you're a young man, right? and squirting isn't in your brain and all of a sudden a wave of stinky bathwater hits you in the face you're not going to be surprised like

you don't want to know well because here's the thing I grew up with pornography essentially so like it's almost like it would be like a hidden surprise it'd be like an Easter egg that I'd be like yeah I found one look at Lee crack the funlies this shit look at Lee you're fucking filthy I know really so I never found one You got a prize, Lee.

Oh, you're the star for that comment? You got a star for that comment. Are you... Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, thing, thing, thing, thing. How are those going? He's a tremendous. There you go. Do you remember when he first started?

When he first started, what was happening? He was a nice little boy. Yeah. He didn't bawling nobody. He still don't bawling nobody. Oh, these are... Smell them. Just smell those fucking things.

Just smell those things. Oh, my God. Sure, eat one. Go ahead. Try it when you like it. Try it when you like it. Yeah, that's probably not a great idea. Eat half of it. Yeah, eat two tentacles. That's it. That's it. You know, we'll see what happens later in the day. So, Josh, this is my sixth one today. It is? Yeah. Give me the other half.

I'm supposed to go hang out with a kid. You go like this? That's your sixth one today? Yeah. And that's my five and a half. I mean, and you guys just sit here Like nothing else Yeah

We're in training Yeah, yeah You're training hard Isis kicks in the door The Russians, we're in training They can't do nothing No, they're not getting in here We're averaging

We're an 1,100 milligrams a day now For a week Stop it Oh yeah, no wonder my kidneys Are fucked them 1100 a day Is that what you're at too? 1100 a day

I'm at 1,200 right now On the weekends He eats 850 just to keep them in line. You know what I'm saying? Just to keep you in shape? Yeah. What's your girlfriend?

Is she on board? Yeah, well, she is a little bit, but she's looking for a lawyer jobs right now, so she can't really do it. But it stinks because when I go get it, like, I get it for, like, her and me, and she needs, like, one red star, maybe. And I need about six. Six purple ones, two red ones. Some acid, little mushrooms. There's only two things we're eating now. These and those cushy.

Things. Cushy punch, yeah. Those cushy punch are fucking. I don't even know what those are. Oh. What are those? It's a gummy bear.

It basically, if it's 100 milligrams or 200 milligrams, it's 4 cubes. So if it's 100, it's 25, it's 200. It's 50. Do you remember the weed you used to smoke? Yeah. Do you remember, like, you could smoke two, three joints and just be like, maybe you get a headache? He still does smoke two or three joints.

No, no, no. But without getting high. You could smoke two or three joints without getting high. You don't know what we did before you got here today. Smell this. That's what. Oh, my God. Yeah, this is, this is, this is, we got.

Is this the, is this where Owen Benjamin walked around the neighborhood? This is it. Is this the neighborhood he walked around in? Yeah. He told me he was like, I walked out and never fucking came back. No. He never came back. No, no, he was like Bruce Springston.

Yeah, he said he never fucking came back. He couldn't. Did you know he was in trouble? Could you tell by looking at him? Yes, there was a couple points. There was two or three people I've looked at that I could tell that they're gone. Ada? Yeah?

Ada, we were having a great time and she just took one and ate one without even like, she just took one. Right. And I'm like, okay, she's a tall cup of coffee. Yeah. And about 30 minutes later, I saw her eyes go, like it was real. Like, when you see it, you know, oh, shit. Oh, shit. Like I've seen, remember that?

Remember when, what was the movie when they took a shopping? The Devil's Advocate, when they took Clarice Giron shopping, and they would put the dresses over their head, and all of them, they go, ah! And she would go, oh, that's what happens with this shit. Like, it just comes to you little by little at first. But you love that shit. Oh, yeah, I love to be in fear.

It's like my life. You fucking love that shit. You know, I think about it, like, I think Rogan and Segu. broke it down once and they're like it's a great way for a comic to live and I thought about it that was from 80 to 95 that's how I lived yeah loved living that at any time somebody can knock on that door and say dog what happened to the $2,000 from that gambling debt yeah you saw it oh you saw it you lived it you lived it yeah you know at that timely anything could yeah I remember I remember it being,

it's the fuck. I get separated October of 91 and I go on a tear for 18 months, credit cards, bongos. I finally have to start selling everything I could. Like neon, membership to a mob. Yeah. But there was a kid I was working.

That was a nice kid. I kept coming to me going, dog. If you ever had any good investments, No. Yes. And I was nurturing him. Yeah. But by the way, you're really good at that.

Oh, we were talking about that. You're really good at that. But before we get to that, there's something I do got to tell you. Lee, by the way, were you at the conversation? Kept me up all night. By the way, happy Rosh Hashanah. Thank you. Last week, I took a long distance flight.

I'm sitting in first class. I get upgraded. I don't bother. You know, when you get upgraded on a New York flight, you don't say nothing. Nobody. Nope. I'm sitting and I see three empty seats. The one next to me and two over there.

Guess who sits next to me? 50 cents. Sits in the window out and goes to sleep. I don't say two words. It don't got nothing to do with me. So now I can't go to sleep. I got a few stars in me. I got the iPod in.

I'm excited. I want to see who's going to be in those last two seats. And all of a sudden I get caught up. My wife calls me, whatever. The flight's a 6 a.m. polite out of L.A.X. to Kennedy, my favorite, because you're going to Delta One and shit. What?

What? Yeah. What? What? Yeah. So all of a sudden I'm sitting there. And who is it? But two and Lee, I fucked up.

I've been slipping my racially whatever skills are low, especially when it comes to the C Jews. So there was one 400 pound of Sid Jew with the whole thing. And his son, stinky with a fucking broken foot comes on, toes exposed. the whole thing. Just two stink bombs complaining from the time they get out. Just complaining from the time. The guy is round. He tucks his shirt in.

Yeah. Before the plane takes off, he puts the vest on. He ties the ropes around his arm with the flashlight. Yeah. Him and his son, before the plane take off. It's not a flashlight. Okay, whatever. Yeah.

Whatever. Vee. Listen to me. I like it better that way. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh my God. He looked like they were doing pornography with the ropes around their arm.

So now they sit down. Can I have coffee? Okay, they get coffee. You get complimentary coffee in first class. Okay. So him and his son are drinking coffee. They're going. The plane's going, okay, well, everybody's shut down.

Boom. Okay, everybody, we're headed to the thing. The plane doesn't even get to the runway. I think something cut it off. The plane goes, he spills the coffee. Excuse me. Excuse me. He's working it already from the gum.

He's like, I spilled my coffee on my new dry cleaning. Somebody has to take care of the dry cleaners. There are an upgrade available. You know, the plane hasn't even gone into the year. And he's already talking upgrade? Upgrade. And already me. I'm a professional.

I already know that if I would own Delta, I would have checked to see who this guy was. Because for every dollar you take from this, he's going to charge you double in time and aggravation. Plus, he's going to take everything he's got. But they did two genius moves that I didn't figure out to the other night about three in the morning. I got high

and I fucking figured out with these two ascetics, dude, they're fucking beautiful. People talk about those people. What's that movie with Brad Pitt that they're hustlers? Oh, she's 11? No. The fucking one with their boxes

and they live, those people that he represents, they're fucking some type of Irish people that are even, they're gypsies. Snitch. Stitch. Stitch. Whatever the fucking. Snitch.

Snatch. Snatch. They're gypsies. And they said, don't double cross you. Listen, I didn't catch the double cross until two weeks later with the city Jews. They're talking. I'm surprised they didn't get a call.

What did they do? Okay, what's the first call you got? Listen, before the plane took off, they already asked for a fucking upgrade. The plane took off. Okay? The plane's up in the air. The black guy gets a pad with your name on it. He walks right up to him and he goes, is this got the bat-tabah?

Yeah. And he goes, yes. What do you think the first thing out of this guy's mouth was? he said, do you have my kosher meal? And also, the black guy goes into a frenzy kosher, huh? Right? I mean, he cracks them. First thing out of the gate.

Yeah. He cracks him with the kosher meal. Cracks me too? I'm like, I was not expecting that. Yeah. And also, the guy's like, no, we're going, okay, I guess I'm going to have to talk to management. Upgrades for me and my son. And he's already working it, dog.

Wow, whipping him. Let me get two blankets. I want a hat. You know, I want the hat. He's working him. He's working them. Just working them with whips and chains. Well, guess what?

At six in the morning? Well, guess what, Lisa, I at? Did he get everything you wanted? No, no. He tormented them. He got everything. Then the food came, and he goes and said, no kosher menus.

He got the pick and choose from two other menus, and they ate everything. But here's the most disgusting thing. They had a bag of food. Not a bag, a black bag. They had a bag of just. just egg salads and everything. They didn't need the food they were complaining about.

Right. Now, at the end of this 40-minute eat atathon, the guy gets up after being up and down, praying, wrapping stuff around his arm, talking to his son in Hebrew, he goes to the bathroom, and he stays in there, takes a 40-minute shit. No.

That the whole first class and the people in the first two in rows are in jeopardy. They're like, when is this guy going to come out and what's that ass going to smell like? The guy couldn't fit into the bathroom. Like frontways. He had to turn around and go backwards. You have no idea.

The thing opens, he comes out, he walks out like, hi. And all of a sudden the fucking one black store this just slams that door. And they come out and they're spraying. Oh, my God, I felt so bad for them, Josh Bull. But I figured out the whole scam. They never ordered kosher food. No. That was just to get the fucking guy ruffled up and shit.

Yeah. And the son's foot wasn't broken. They just put a cast on his foot, just to, fucking let him know. We used to do that at Disneyland. Yeah. What, put a cast on the kids? Oh, yeah. The kids get to, they used to get to pick which one of them wanted to be handicapped for the day. There you go.

We used to do that all the time. There you go. We used to pick. What the fuck you think you're dealing with? Something happened there because he's chubby. He didn't want to be embarrassed, so he made the son put on a fake fucking cast. Because I saw it wasn't a cast. It wasn't a real white cast. It was a blue one that you put together at home, like luggage.

What the fuck you think you're dealing with? And I told Matt Lottman in this. I go, Matt Lottman They never even ordered the kosher meal. They said that to get the guy ruffled up from the jump. That's how you do it, ladies and gentlemen, you see? When you do blow for three days, Lee, and then you sleep for a day, what do you think when you wake up happens the first thing you wake up that time? I don't know.

I don't know. You have a bunch of boogie snots. Sugar bugger. It's horrible. The first thing you do as you're pissing and looking at yourself in the mirror and looking at whoever fell asleep in your house were doing blowers, as you're pissing, you're already taking the toilet paper out

and you snap it and you blow your nose and anybody who's done cocaine has looked at that first blow in the morning. I would take that fucking snuck. I wouldn't even blow it. I'd blow it into my hand like a savage. And I would come on and I'd peel those last roots out

like you have to peel those last pieces out. I do like when there's roots. I'll be honest about that. It does feel good. And it was chunk of it. of cocaine. I mean, you want to be the lighting? I can't, you know, I did it, and I did it mostly when I snorted, but anyway, I don't want to talk about

this shit. Well, just after the conversation we had, I thought for an hour, like, the rises of us that we had, the falls, the shows, the what could haves, we're still here, 23 years later,

and Brody's been here 20 of those years with us. I mean, this is pretty fucking cool. That we're still here. You sent me that picture of our first lineup together. Yeah. We're still at the store last night. You had a 10 to 9.

I had a 10 to 9. Just to think that this started 23 years ago. And nobody knew what the fuck we're doing. Nobody really knew. But you know, here's what happened is like, the quitters lose. That's basically what happened. When we first started,

everybody's about as funny. Do you know what I mean? Everybody's the same. I always say that. All right. Listen, there's no. The funniest person on the planet, His name is Ace Freely.

That's the funniest human being on the planet today. He's a top, top, top up there with Dave Chappelle. But then it's hard work. And then it's who's going to keep going. That's what it is. When you sent me that picture of that first lineup we were on, there was only three names that are still doing comedy. Me, you, and Chappelle.

That was the other name on the list of people still doing comedy. That was it. But here's what happens. People come out here. They come out with a dream. and they get a time set. And they give themselves a time set or something. And they stick out the comedy store for 10 years and things don't happen.

You know what, Joshua? They go back to St. Louis. They hook up with family again. And if they're real comics, they find a way to make a living. They came, they saw, they conquered as long as they could. Steve Cooper wrote a beautiful Steve Cooper set up to 20-something years. My dream didn't come true. I didn't make a lot of money.

Yeah. But I got to meet the nice people. I'm going back to Philadelphia and living like a normal human being. You know, he gave him a try. He had a podcast. I was successful. You know, I see if he's still alive on Facebook, he's still. But here's the thing.

That's the thing is we kept, what's that word? We kept persevering. We kept going, dude. No, but there's something else. You know what we kept doing is we kept evolving. See, a lot of people come and they say this is what, we do and this is what I do and they don't evolve as artists you're so much different dude as a comic and just like as an artist and as a creative thinker then you can sit

down and write now yeah I love it but you never could you could never ever ever do that sit down and write fuck no I'm reading this book that's making me a writing Nazi so to look today I went down there and even if it was old jokes I wrote the mountain just to see where the gaps with my time in i gotta go to work josh will you know we want to get to the next fucking sentinel here but that's the difference i like giving people a good show when that half hour is not there i feel fucking guilty if i give you the first half hour on it's new fuck it let's rock and roll i don't even want you to see my full hour because i want you to shoot a fucking special anyway right so i'm not showing up with no fucking new hour for here because

half of it's going to be on the special let me show up with 30 minutes or new shit that's going to blow your mind and you know 20 minutes or oh shit, a whole clothes or whatever I can accept that. But that's what you were saying earlier on the phone when you were talking about the difference between being able to tour with an album.

We don't tour once you put out that special you can't do it again. We tour to develop that album and then we put the tour out. We put the special out and you've already seen three quarters of the material because you were there in Buffalo the week before we fucking shot it. So that was that two

thousand people that came to that weekend. Also, the people throughout the year or year and a half, however long it took you there, you've been working that material on the road. When you put out a special, they're like, oh, we fucking saw that. We saw that special. Whereas, musicians, they put out the album first,

and they tour on their album. It's completely opposite, right? Well, I mean, don't you think, I mean, what I would think it has to do with is the comedy has to do with surprise, mostly. Do you think once it goes down? Like, there are some special that hold up, but I think most of them,

the first time you watch it, it's going to be the best time. But do you think people want to come and hear jokes from the special? Do you think some people want to hear some of the jokes on the special? A thousand percent I do. I go back to music. I go back to music. And I say to myself, you know what?

In fact, I was listening to somebody other day and they went to see Metallica. One of those guys on Ozzy's bone yard and he said, you know what? I was very disappointed. Because they played all new stuff. I wanted to hear him. of whatever and this and destruction you know people are to

Led Zeppelin they don't want to hear new shit they want to stay what they're having rock and roll Joe want to hear we saw we saw Bob Dylan he didn't play one hit one fucking hit he played out at that uh that concert out in the desert last year with Dylan and the Stones and the Who and all those guys

right so we went and saw and I was not too excited to see Dylan but I I wanted as long as he's alive let's go say and we've seen him he didn't play one hit He didn't play one song that anybody knew. No, he played tangled up in blue, but he rearranged it to the point. And I was like, what the fuck is he doing here? We don't want to hear your new.

If the Who would come out and played a new album, we'd have been like, no, no, no. Who's next? Who are you? That's what we came to hear, though. I want you to open up with three songs that blow my fucking heart apart. And then take a warm up, talk to us for five minutes and say, listen, we're telling you people first. We're taking the Who on the Road next year. This is one of the new songs on the island

That's nobody heard We love you, Indiana Don't da-da-da-da-da-da By the way, that's what the Stones did That's how you sell A new song You don't sell a new song I used to get fucking pissed

When a band I wanted to go see And I had a thing in my mind What they were going to open up with And they opened up with something different Because I heard the night before In Philly they opened up with this Like in those days you found out

Oh, in Philly They opened up with fucking and whatever, hell bent for leather. You're like, all right, they're going to open up with hell bent for leather in the city. And all your buddies and you would go and they'd say, no, they're going to open up with scream with a vengeance, but you knew

you heard it the night before. They're opening up with hell bent for leather. You know, I'll be waiting to see what the answer was. And all of a sudden, fucking hell bent for leather and your buddies go, fuck you. I do you know. I fucking think you're dealing with bitch. I called Philadelphia last night, you know what I'm saying?

The one thing I don't know. I don't like though with comedians. I don't mind if you do stuff from the special on the road, but I don't like if you do like one special, and then the next special has the same jokes of the first special. I've never seen that before. Oh, I have. I don't want to speak bad of him because he was very nice to me,

but John Pennett, he had a couple specials that were just... Huh. He was very nice. Funny fucking guy. He was hysterical. And the reason why it hurt me so much was because that was... My family sat down and watched that special. I say nay nanny.

That was one of the funny. I still watch it now. It's hysterical. But it's also different, like, because if you go see Journey and they don't play, you know, don't stop believing, whatever your song is, you're going to be fucking mad. But if you go see Chappelle, do you want to hear a joke you've already heard, or do you want to hear what he's got now? Okay. I'm a fan of Chappelle since before the fucking show.

The show. Yeah. I remember one of his albums before that or something, and that was it. I saw two of the three specials that are on Netflix, but let's pretend I was a fan of Chappelle from the show. I was paying $65,70 for these tickets. I know Chappelle is brilliant enough that he's going to do the first 30. His new stuff, because Chappelle could do that.

He does it every night. His first 30 is always new. You got nothing to lose. No. He takes you one direction for 25 minutes, an old joke. He redos it. What do you give a fuck? The audience is laughing.

The show's over. That's what you went to see. You know, if you go on the board, I got a web page. I'm the cheapest ticket for a comic. There are comics there that charge a lot of money. And I got to tell you something, I got some bad-ass credits.

And they got a lot of money. I could have raised those tickets. But I don't see it. they're talking themselves out of a market. You know, I used to tour Larry the Cable Guy, right? So his theory was always, his ticket was never more than 4750. Didn't matter where the seat was,

didn't matter anything, that 4750 was the price of the ticket, because his deal was, I would rather have more fans. I don't want to price my, I don't want to give a $100 ticket. I'd rather sell 10,000 tickets at the 50 than 5,000 tickets at the 100.

Because, one, more fans. but two, that's twice as many people buying merch. Do you know what I mean? And like you're not pricing people out. You're not making them feel bad about buying the ticket. That's the smart thing to do because you keep your fans. Your fans never think that you're raising the prices above them. It's definitely the way to go.

But dude, he used to do, I mean, we sold, we. He sold 53,000 tickets. He sold out that Cornhusker Stadium. because he couldn't do the whole stadium because the stage was up against one of the walls. He saw 53,000 fucking tickets. Larry the cable guy. 53,000 in that stadium

and then he donated the tickets, whatever he made off the tickets, to a charity. Didn't keep a, didn't keep his cut. He donated it at all. 53,000 on the 4th of July. What do you do after it? They postponed the fireworks

until the next night. because he did it on the 4th and everybody at the town was in i think i'm remembering that right somebody might correct me but i'm pretty sure that's what happened they moved it one night because he wanted to do his show on the 4th of july that's how many fucking people were there they moved the fireworks oh and dude somebody somebody this old dude was parachuting into the stadium right they at pretending to be him right and dressed like him and it was his last jump out of a plane ever Right. And this was his big retirement jump. So he jumps out of the plane. He's dressed as Larry and you hear the voiceover. I'm coming down everybody. You know, whatever it is. And then the wind kicks up. And we're like, oh, no. You can see him start to do the pulleys. You know what I mean? And we're like, no, he's going to overshoot this. Because he's supposed to land on the grass, hit the grass running, run behind the stage, and then take the parachute off. And then Larry runs out on stage, dressed the same. way so it looks like he well he overshot the grass by about 15 yards and landed

straight into the empty cement bleachers broke his cock-ic coxic you know that thing that basically I think is your pelvic bone right the coxic but the show couldn't start until he got up and ran behind the stage so we're like we're watching the wind go and I'm like oh he's not gonna make it he's starting to do the pulley things do the pulley things and he hits that cement and we were everyone in the stands thought it was like part of the thing so everyone in the stadium was like and we were all like oh no and he kind of you could see him kind of struggled to get up and he kind of waves his hand over because he's got a broken coxics but everyone on the

production team's like no you got to come over here right oh my god dude rolls over probably what's the worst and listen rolls over this was his retirement jump he was like 68 years old, right? This is where he was going to wave goodbye to everybody. He crashes into the bleachers, and he finally makes it behind and

collapses and they fix up his whatever, pull him out in a fucking ambulance. But that was, that poor old fella, that was his last jump. I bet there was someone in the ambulance. Like, I know you hurt yourself, but next time you really should have just ran a little

fast. Oh, no, you should. When the wind kicked up, everybody in production was like, this is not going to end well for this guy. This is not good for him. But doing comedy in front of that many people was terrible. I think that comedy's not made for that size crowd. Because the laughter would come, and then I'd start my joke again, and then the laughter would come from

the people that far away. I don't like comedy. I can't see it. I don't care how big you get. That's just a little too big for me. You don't have control. No. What's your, what's the size you like the most? 400 seats in a small comedy club were bricks old school like the underground you know I know there's a lot of comics that listened to the show

that comedy underground was my favorite Yeah there's a lot of young comics that listen to this show And I applaud you for trying comedy and sticking with it And you know I know where the fuck we both know what the fuck you are I still remember being 1996 And the black dude who played the piano for Stephanie thing came up to the underground

on Fridays and Saturdays. Whenever Fridays and Saturdays was a big comic came, me and Josh would always wiggle out of way into that fucking into that thing. This is 1997. One of us had that emcee spot.

This is 21 years ago, people, just to let you know how hard you got to stay in this. We're talking about living in a shitty apartment. We're talking about living a car. You remember Mark's dog? Remember Mark Gardner? I live with Mark Gardner.

And his dog used to just shit in the living room. Do you remember that Dalmatian, that fucking Dalmatian? I walked into the house and it was so dirty. I ran back to Carol and told I loved it. He used to let his dog shit in the living room when we were watching TV. He was cooking that black stuff, the bones with all the grass. Oh, my God. You had no idea.

And I was doing sports booking out of there, sports betting. Yeah. In the back room, and that's when the guys called me and threatened me and shit. If you keep doing it, we're going to fly out there and fuck you up. You know, it's just to let you people know what the real struggle, and we're still here. This is fucking real. He moved to L.A. maybe six or seven months before I did.

And we used to go down to the, remember we used to pick up Stanhope, and we did down to the improv together in the car. I mean, this is 1997. What street did Stanhope live on? Curzon. That's right. You were on. Vista.

Vista. Ralphie was on Schrader, and Nick DePaolo. and Mitch Hedberg were on where Chiebo is. Yeah. This is a comedy fucking neighborhood. And when I, you know, I told people

we go down to Gorky Park. When we moved there, Gorky Park had Nickelbackers. You go by weed down there. And we go down there and play tennis. Oh, yeah. We got on there play tennis. Fuck, yeah.

20 fucking years of comedy people. You Doug and Mitch playing tennis. Yeah. This was a big fucking great. When you were when you were when we were first starting when you first got here what was your goal for sets per week? I know you had no I listen When I first got here I was very scared, but I knew I had it out with Carol You know I had it out I was putting away a little money I would clip every night for an extra 50 from the stocking When she stripped I had a tax her

But wait but you didn't have no but when you first did not know but when you first did that you When you first started, because you kept that notebook, man. I kept a notebook about every set and what I did and all that shit. And I had a, for me, I wanted to do seven sets a week. That was the goal to hit everyone. At that time, I just, listen, we would come from, I came from Colorado, where I was doing four sets a week, and I drove eight hours to do those sets. Yeah, but you were doing more than four sets in Seattle.

Seattle? In Seattle, I went up to 30 sets a month. Yeah. And we were fucking working. Monday, the underground, and we went to that bar up top, where there was cages, and we used to Kami up there. That was Monday night. Was that Dave Henderson's batting cage place?

No, no, there was no, there was no batting cage. There were the cages where women go into. Oh, that's right. It was a very bushwater type of place on Monday nights. So we leave the underground open, Mike, which was a fucking, you know, when I think of the underground, I close my eyes and I think hard about the underground open mic on Monday. How can you describe that?

The first thing I think of is Carl. A woman, home. Honestly, the first thing I think of it is Carl and his little, was it a hat called, not a fedora, but, you know, the thing, the French. And guys, he was brilliant. It would help you write. I don't wear French hats, I'm sorry. He would help you write jokes.

He would comment on your sets, whether they were good or bad. Sometimes he commented negatively. He would bust your balls a little bit too. Yeah, he'd get rid of that joke. He was, yeah.