The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - The CHURCH: BEST of RALPHIE MAY, Vol. 1 | with JOEY DIAZ & LEE SYATT

Episode Date: July 31, 2023

The CHURCH: BEST of RALPHIE MAY, Vol. 1 | with JOEY DIAZ & LEE SYATT   #309 - Recorded live on 08/17/2015. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CsJSG4fX6IM&t=929s   #330 - Recorded live on 11/02/2015. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zbrxm5eO7sc&t=2s   #422 - Recorded live on 10/17/2016. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_AFQOVfWAaA   #449 - Recorded live on 01/23/2017. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dhOA9LFOxM   #454 - Recorded live on 02/08/2017. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNgneb51jTA   #487 - Recorded live on 06/05/2017 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3VSAbsQinw   This podcast is ALWAYS presented by ONNIT!   Go to https://www.onnit.com & Enter PROMO CODE: JOEY, JOINT or CHURCH The Mind Of Joey Diaz is on PATREON: http://bit.ly/TheMindOfJoeyDiaz  #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint #TheChurch #LeeSyatt #RalphieMay

How about the time you were over at Gavans, and you had the Bolivian flu, and his little cock-sucking male fucking pug dog, pissed on me. Yeah, ran up the back of the fucking couch, went to Coco, who's got his eyes closed, sleeping upright, trying to fucking, I mean, just reeking a pussy and fucking yay, and he had shit on his fucking shirt,

and that fucking cock-sucking dog pissed on your head. That was the fucking funniest shit I've ever seen. I did a lot of fucking coke in that building. Oh, good times. A lot of fucking Coke was done in that building. I always stayed out of that. No, no, you never did none of that shit. It was just, it was around you.

I used to go to your house, drink bloody marries with you. Yeah. And be doing little tiny bumps in the bathroom. Fucking A. Fucked up in that little apartment until 4 in the morning. How much did you know, Ralphie? Oh, he knew. I love it.

Come on, it's Coco. You know, what's fun, though, ladies, when he comes in with the rare story. All right, I started doing blow with this chick. Turns out it wasn't blow. It was hair on. We fucked all night. It was crazy. I loved it.

It was tremendous. All right. I think that was 2000. Okay? That was a great one. But that's the only time he ever did. Dude, Thanksgiving was fucking epic.

That Thanksgiving... The one with Maryland, up at your house, yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. And the original room was purple, Lee. He ate an ounce of mushrooms,

Lee, an ounce. Not a fucking eighth. A goddamn ounce. I was fucked. up Lee. I kept eating those fucking things. He ate like a pig. He fucking smoked the best reaper. That's when you used to have a jar on the table. Fuck yeah, a big ass jar. A pound jar on the table.

A pound jar. Let's do this. And let me tell you what. I've never seen anybody been able to do that many drugs and stand. Coco not only stood, he went down to the fucking OR. Got a big old fucking rock and eight ball. All right. Did that shit. And from what I heard, blew the fucking comedy store away. I hadn't done the Coke yet. I got the Coke and took it home.

I did the mushrooms and went to the store and was fucking lit. And nobody showed up. So, like, you got to go up next. I was fucking lit on these mushrooms. And I went up there and I just looked straight ahead. And the lights were turning purple in the original room. Like, that's all I kept seeing was purple, you know? Right.

And I heard you got a standing ovation. Oh, my God. People were calling me from the store. That was like 19 people. It was like 19 people. Yeah, and you stood them. That's way more impressive than 500 people. If you're a comic and you're hearing this, you understand.

To get a standing ovation from 19 fucking people is more amazing than getting it for 25,000 people. That's easy. Anybody can fucking do that. All right? These people were there on Thanksgiving night and fucking Diaz blew them away. Fucking tremendous. Those, you know, you think about. What a night?

night that was. Maryland was all fucked up. We had a blast. We all ate. It was a great time. I was telling my wife today that it's, you know, we had our friend that called today and said that somebody died. I'm like, you know, I was eating with my wife at the time. I go, you know what? I don't want to seem like,

what's that word when people, you're not whatever, empathetic? Empathetic. When you're not empathetic. But life moves on. If I drank what you were at a bar 20 years ago and you die, I'm very sad, but what do you want me to do? Stop my world and, you And it's just, I think about Maryland a lot. Me too.

It pisses me off how people talk shit. But I was telling my wife today, I go, you know, I see this girl all the time. I was Marilyn's friend. I see her all the time now at the store. And all the times I see her, yeah, she comes over and says a law, but she never pulls me inside and says, do you still think about Maryland? I think about Maryland every fucking week. I lie the candle for Maryland on Mondays. Forever the candle for Maryland.

I say a prayer for them. She's a page, man. I change the water for her. And it's weird how for you. years she used to call me and bitch and one day I told us it do me a favor man stop fucking bitching go out there and rock the world you know you're always bitching about what you're not getting it's not about what you're not getting it's focus on what you're getting if mity's giving you three spots you're getting three more spots and a lot of other fucking people yeah no shit so

she was so powerful one of the most powerful women comics I've ever she would go on stage late night and some nights fucking blow that with that Filipino dick she used to like to suck Filipino It was like a little sausage. She's rolling around her mouth. That people, she's, big guys would say, I lift 300 pounds, they will lift me, motherfucker. You know, just dumb shit that would just make you laugh late night. She's so funny.

So funny. So funny. What's up with you, Lysayette, you bad motherfucker? You're going to double tomorrow. That's it. They're making you do kettlebell and jujigs. I can't do double. It looks crazy.

Yeah, you missed last week. He called me tonight. Did he come last week? I can't, yeah. Yeah, so he goes, yeah, he's got to do it double today. You've lost a lot of weight since I saw you last. He's a fucking animal. He's gotto-bells, jujitsu.

He's been stuck at 98 because him and the wife are fucking savages. Hey, it's not me and the wife. It's me and the fucking 200, 300 milligrams I have. Oh, please. Please, don't fucking boo. Where'd you go to the wife's and eat last night? Oh, Mollay for the first time ever. Oh, wow.

I know so many people who go on a Mollet diet. I know so many motherfuckers that include Mollay and their diet. She didn't put chocolate in it. No, you don't eat chocolate. fucking moly yes you do that's the half of isn't that what molly no that's just one part of mexico's moly right they don't her uh her mom and her don't like chocolate in it so we just had good it's just chicken what's in the sauce i have no idea fucking amazing it's amazing it's a little bit of jesus but yeah but wasn't sp i was usually i'm getting used to spicy you know it's not spicy

it's not spicy at all i didn't but now i do it's just flavorful that's what you know all these white people are afraid of mexican spice if you watch mexican spice of food they just put a little bit of salsa, like a little bit of do you. Dumb white people are used to fucking ketchup on their goddamn tacos. They're retarded. I was in Washington and my fucking buddy goes, let's go to Taco Time. Okay, it's

a chain, a shit chain up there. And the fucking lady said, do you want mild salsa or ketchup on your tacos? And I fucking left. I go, bro, if you eat that, I'm going to fucking fire you because I can't stand to look at your face. And we just left it there.

We paid for it and left it. Fuck, anybody wants a... Taco's time ain't no Taco Cabana. Fuck no, man. Some potato tacos for breakfast. Oh, stop. And then you stop at the motherfucking Kalachi fucking factory. When I was a kid, devil gum was cinnamon, but it was hot.

Like, if you ate three slices, your asshole was going to be on fire. That's what Mexicans give their kids when they're in daycare. Dude, we had atomic fireballs. That's all we had. No, atomic fireballs. But you also swallowed gum, Joey. You're not supposed to swallow gum. That's why your assholes are on fire.

My asshole's on fire. Why? Because of that, I'm telling you, I've been swallowing gum since day one, so my body knows how to process it now. I just spit out a little fucking gum. See, if you start swallowing gum when you ate, then you're fucked up. I've been swallowing gum since day one. Can some doctor please email Joe Edith's daughter? And do what?

What's it going to say them? You know what's going to learn how to... Listen, I have pulled the gum out of my ass. I have pulled little pieces of gum sometimes. Out of the hairs. Yeah, out of the hairs. Oh, God. Or sometimes you're going to pull the shit out of it, and you can hear the gum on.

Oh, God. It's like getting... Oh, jeez Christ Let me tell you what Have joy When he gets one of them Good assits above his asshole

To come and pop it Like a foot and a half away from you So you hear it Okay, he did that in my fucking apartment After he drank all my goddamn Orange Juice All right He drank a whole fucking bang of orange juice

In 10 minutes And then proceeded to pop a Zit on his asshole Yes No not on his asshole In the crack right above it So to get any pressure behind it, he had to take those big-ass fingers. Let me explain some. Go one knuckle deep.

I know all the stories. Back in the day, I am ashamed to say, I used to travel by bus to a lot of gigs. Ray Hound was my sponsor for a long time. It was the Joey Express. The Joey Express. I would get on that fucking downtown bus to El Paso, and I'd take it from him. The longest bus ride I did was New York City of Dallas. That was the longest because I had nothing going.

on and I'm going to go to all the way to Kennedy and drop $200 when I can, I'm here right here and I can pay the express for $48. I looked at just to see just to get to Boston. It's like only like two and a half days for like $100. So I would never, I mean, I'm just thinking if I had to. You'll never have to. Man, I

travel by bus because I own one. Get a king size bed. Don't do that. I could never set up. I could never sit like that. But you guys ought to jump on the bus sometime and we do this church at other parts of the country. Yeah. Where's the bus now the bus it will be here uh to tonight it'll get in tonight from uh Tennessee and

and then uh we're here we're gonna be driving they're gonna be driving around um Wednesday and Tuesday and Wednesday and uh and then we go north uh to do do some gig I don't know where it has to be honest with I don't look at my calendar I didn't travel no fucking a fool fire you guys would kill each other I would you guys would before you got to the first rest stop You're retarded. We would hotbox that bus. It would be just, look, bro. Yeah, but then...

Look, Lee, shut the fuck up. Okay? Me and Coco have lived in an apartment smaller than this fucking studio. Okay? And we left our asses off. And when the doors were open and the windows were open because it was so fucking hot and we couldn't hardly go to sleep

because it was noisiest shit, we put our Joy in Medina five minutes sleeping time, wake up throw kicks for Jesus making biscuits and I had him on the floor or futon okay and John Wesleying on the floor and Jody Ferding on the bed yeah it was crazy we were we were in it to win it this was team us 1440 you don't even understand kill ourselves we're brothers are you kidding me well not literally I'm just saying like you'll put something on the TV that he doesn't want or he'll start I got five fucking TVs you got five TVs five TVs five fucking

Fucking TVs on that goddamn bus. Pick what channel you want. That's cool. I got it. How many bedrooms are the bus? I've got a king-sized back bedroom that pops out, okay? And then the living room pops out. And then there's three bunks.

It's got two bathrooms and a shower on it. And I've got, I think there's like six air conditioners on it. So if we go someplace where it's hot, like I want the Bonaro of this. summer and everybody, all these dirty white people were out there when it's 100, fucking 20 degrees of dirt. Fuck you. I took three showers a day. I was the sweetest-smelling motherfucker out there.

People were like, they thought I was frailed or something. I was smelling so good. Okay, I was doing it, Jack. It was awesome. Everybody's boo-hoo and it's hot. Yeah, me too. I'm going to go make a fucking margarita in my bus. Take a shower and smoke a bone.

Fuck you. I hate that band. Okay. It was awesome. It was so great. But that's how we got to go, dude. We got to go in the fucking bus, all right? Your babies would go bananas in that bus.

Your baby would love that fucking bus. That little fucking monster. I can't go for that. I just ate an expired viking. What do you think will happen? Who gives them to fuck? You get stuck in that gum? You know what happened?

Don't you tell you what happened? They're listening. Yeah, right? Don't I tell you what fucking happened? What happened, Poppy? A couple weeks ago, I went swimming in Toledo, and I got him the fucking plane the next day. I got an ear infection, right?

Oh, my God. And I was sitting there, and I tell you, man, I'm, you know, when you work out and you're heavy, you have to take a leave sometimes or the other one. The other one. Aspir? No, no. Tadino. No, no. The other one.

There's a leave in Advil. Oh, okay. That's all that works at this point for big guys. When you go to Jitsu. Dude, I'm past that. Yeah, and you get slammed on your back. When you go home and you eat your lunch, the first thing you do is take an advil, especially you have to train the next day. Really?

I've never had to do all that shit, Lee, because it lowers the inflammation. You got to eat fucking, like smoking weed. Eating weed actually takes away the inflammatory from your fucking thing. You see Google today? Anybody see the front page of Yahoo today? What did it say? More people turn into medical marijuana. Prescriptions are down.

Prescriptions are down. Prescriptions are going down, man. Yeah, the opiates are going down. Yeah, the benzos are going down. Yeah, the benzos are going down. Listen, I'm telling you as your brother, you fucking go, and you work out with any brawling those savages down there at night. and you walk home, you can't move.

Oh, yeah, I'm sure. I'll do an experiment with the motherfucker. I will experiment. I will give you an Aleve one night, and a week later we'll do it again, and I'll give you a chunk of real hash, and you eat that hash, and you call me tomorrow,

when you tell me which day makes you feel out. That's a Bruce Leight for soaring this. Nobody knew why he was eating marijuana 40 years ago. Danny Nassanto said that a Higin thing. Genius. That's why he was eating marijuana, because he knew that a leave will kill you. Yeah.

A leave and Advil will eat your fucking liver. You got to drink gallons of water. If you take it a leave, you got to drink fucking water throughout the daytime. That's why I don't take them at night. I take them when I get home from Jiu-Jitsu. Bam, so I'm not... Or kettlebells. I'm not sore an hour later, whatever the fuck I do when you're sore.

Sometimes you get sore from flying. Dude, I get wiped the fuck out. Oh, shit, man. First of all. A six-hour flight, Lee, you fucking sore, though. All right, yeah. Okay, you fly in your connection. and Dallas got bumped, so now you're in fucking Chicago,

and you land at B-32, and yours is, next flight is at H-17, and you got 15 fucking minutes, and Chicago, the fucking terminals are so close together. There's no room for a fucking, for a fucking one of them chairs. You can give $20 to a black guy with a golf cart. No, you got to fucking hump it, dude.

You got a fucking rock. You got a rock, though. And you're hungry? You're fucking hungry? You got a wrong. Listen, there's podcasts. I know this for a fact. And you know this too.

They're doing better numbers than most TV shows. Fuck yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. And I think what I, you always ask me what I've learned. I think what I've seen and what, the, any, everyone on this like sports radio, sports podcasts, news podcasts. Not yet.

They're getting a little bit. But they're not, they're the thing they don't have is personality. and entertainment. And I think the big people like ESPN and Fox Sports don't really want that. They want it to a degree but not really. Because comedians Oh my God. Comedians have taken over podcasts. It's not even

close. It's not even... And some of them are bad. There are a lot of bad ones. But the good ones, the good ones are could... That's why Jay Moore is good because he's a comedian, he's entertaining. And there's people on those sports talk shows that you're talking about

that are just awful. And they have... they have the ESPN voice, which is annoying to listen to. So it's like almost like the athletes when they have those athlete interviews and they're like, oh, we're just on to the next team, whatever. They're not really saying anything. What would it cost to put Lee with two with Alonzo Bowden. Okay? Deadly.

What would it cost ESPN to put Lee Alonzo Bowden? Tebow, you could have Ian Edwards for soccer. Like there's a lot of comedians who have. It's just mind-boggling. It's incredible. It's just a waste of talent. I'm not talking about Joey. I'm not talking about my friends.

I'm talking about I'm watching something that's unfucking watchable. There was one day on night with Derek Rose and the white guy. Yeah. Oh my God, the white guy is terrible. Derek Rose, I thought he was hanging out with Doc Gooden. You know, he's fucked up. Something happened to him. And I love all that shit at night.

I watch that shit and cheer for it. There's one show with three black guy, one of them had dreads, unwatchable. Unwatchable. You know what? They don't have known for Tony Hinchcliffe. They don't have nothing for the Smash Brothers. Put the Smash Brothers on to do a show with a video show behind them, with a video camera two in the morning.

This is the shit I want to see. This is why these channels are starting to open up. What? Somebody's going to go, you know what, what's it cost me to start a streaming fucking thing? Yeah. Put three fucking shows on it. I can stream them on YouTube.

Brody Stevens 24-7 You wake up with Brody and you go It's from 7 to 8 with Brody in the morning And then like 12 to 1 The last two stops on the night for Brody The Comedy Store main room Or the original room And where he goes to eat

And who he talks about He's deadly He's deadly He's deadly Because he knows so many fucking people man I mean I don't think people really understand I was at Fox And Tom Brady

Walked up to Brody Stevens and was like, hey, Brody, how are you? And that's fucking Tom Brady, man. Okay? And he was like, oh, my God. And Bray was, doing good, man, you know, feeling good, doing good. Positive. Positive.

He didn't say positive. That'd have been hilarious. It just kills you. They don't see it. I see it. And I'm not even by, I'm not even sitting there like most comedians. I'm not even close to Brody. But he's fucking funny, man.

I wouldn't be like one of those guys that would go, oh, look at this guy. could do away but no no I'm there listen I'm old I'm talking about Brody Stevens and what he does on Periscope so funny what he does on Periscope it just you know and this is what kills me sometimes that you don't want to be that guy thousand people watching those fuck in the mornings he lifts weights he goes to baseball games plays the drums for no reason he's in the middle of traffic just fucking just beating the shit out of his steering wheel with drums stick listen I get on there and smoke dope I'm just a fat fuck in the morning talking shit

shit behind a bush you know what I'm saying I don't have the balls yet I don't have a bull but I can't smoke in the house if I could smoke in the house I have the cats in there every day I'd have pure fucking entertainment every day but I can't I know you believe in Jesus you can't do that you babies no I can't I can't fuck with the cats and get high in front of him that shocked him that cocaine thing would finny he never came back he lost that fang and shit they never recover once you lose a fang you're like shit this shit's real Jack. Hey, this is hilarious. I remember

I was reading Doug Stanhope's new book, okay? And I remember in all the crazy shit we did around fucking Hollywood. When did you get here? When did you get here? Exactly. 98?

Okay, so I got here. I get here January 29th of 1997. Coco. Okay. I'm here a year before you. That's what you're telling you. A year, a year. But, bro, okay, you got to understand.

All right. We were all disciples of Stan. We're all disciples. All disciples are Stanley. Everybody who's really been on the road fucking knows Doug Stanhope is fucking the best rocking today. So when I get here, he's a big shot.

He's got a guy from Vegas living with him that's a part-time body guy. That's a dunce. Like he's just a retard. He wasn't even like bodyguard. That was a big guy, right? Yeah. He was a big.

He died. He got rested. So he was a dunce. You know, he was a fucking dumb dumb. He was like, Doug's going to make it big, and I'm going to be his bodyguard. He got a big jacket, I don't like Belushi. So I get here with the broad. I'm living with this girl in the trailer.

We get into an argument. She throws me out. I'm living with Doug in the bunk bed. No, I'm living on the couch or somewhere. I don't know where the fucking. Doug's dating the redhead. Oh, yeah, from fucking... God damn it.

What was that show? Head of the class. Head of the class. God damn, she was hot. With the girl, with Tyson's wife. for sure. Yeah. Yeah. She was fucking hot, though. You got to give it to her. That fucking redhead was

a hot piece of ass. All right. And Dougie was deep into that, okay? He was like all in. So he used to hang out at coaching horses. I was never a big... I could count on my hands how many times I went to coaching

horses. Coaching horses was one of those bars, ladies and gentlemen, that was just real. And you felt the pain in that. And I had been in bars like that growing up where there's bars and then there's bars where if you go in that two in the afternoon there's people and there was no light in there none and there were some people who were in there that were vampires but there were some people who were in there because they thought they thought they were cool and that was not the place to be if you thought you were

cool they'd suck you in and spit you the fuck out there because I did a ton of blow on that bathroom. Every time I went in there was because I was joan out of my fucking mind. Dougie was the fucking best. He knew I didn't have a pot to piss in. He would always, he was like, hey man, I can talk to you.

All right, you're a fucking comic. Let's go over to coaching horses. All right. And we just go, walk over to the coaching horses, and it was a bud light and a middle light for Douglas. So yeah, I'm very sorry about the podcast last week, guys. You know, it was

never my intention. I had to sit here and talk with myself with Lee and he kept sitting there. He didn't know where he was. He was tapping on the table. That is so overrated. He was swamled his nose. He was fucking doing everything to irritate the shit out of me. But anyway, now that's off my chest. How are you, cocksuckers? It's a beautiful fucking Tuesday. Ralphie Mae, what up? Hey, baby. It's so great to be here in part of the church. I love it. You got the new Pope, Coco, Boom, Boom, Diaz. Where's the Pats?

Look at Lee. Lee's got a look on his face. I got Cardinal Lee Syatt. He has to stop squinting. Look at him. I know. He's back. He's off.

He's off. When you start me off with, I don't know how, whatever thousands of milligrams you gave me, like, I just, I, like, it got to the point where that the nice lady at the, at the store that we go to, told me I need to take a tolerance break. She told me. I see, I've seen her so much that she's like, which lady. The blonde, the skinny one. She's very nice.

I think I'm a name is like Sky or. Cute. Oh, Sky. With the black, she's blonde over black hair, real cute. Yeah, I think, yeah, everyone over there is great, but she's like, because I went in there, and I even told you, I was like, I asked for something new, and she's like, well, you've tried everything. I was like, no, there has to be something, like, new that it's more than 50 milligrams, and there's

literally, like, I walked around the store three times, and there's nothing that you haven't given me, and there's nothing, it, there's nothing strong enough in weed stores now. Like, I have to poison myself with 2,000, you know. to get anywhere near stone anymore. Isn't it great? Yeah, no doubt. You're fucking very fortunate. Now you're bulletproof, Lee.

That's right. You're bulletproof. They can't fuck with you. Yeah. What if one of those dirty Russian cock suckers try to put something in you? You'd be like, go fuck yourself for your truth Sarah. I'm fucking Lee. I've been talking about for you.

That when ISIS comes, I'm going to poison these people and you're going to be the only one standing. Everybody else is going to be on the floor. All these other Jews are going to be weak. You're going to be in training. We're in training. Is that why you go? go to multiple stores? Like, is that...

Yes! Is that just, they don't know what you're doing? We're doomsday prepers! Well, Ralphie, you... Like, I've only heard stories about you. I think it's like from Ari and then from Joey about like you had... Like before Mason jars were cool, you had like a pint mison, like a gallon mason jar, just weed on the table.

On the table. On the table. I still got it. Where was that place that? It was close at Chappico. Yeah. Off pico. Yeah.

was living with you yeah he had a fucking container in the fucking middle it was a pound of weed it was fucking awesome it was huge it was one of those big he would go to that place on Mondays and turn out their lights turn out the lights three ounces of this four out they would sit there and go what the fuck are you doing with this I know and the truth is is the most of it I gave it away I gave it away the clubs tell me like the waiters when I get that the waiters will he showed up with these fucking chee-b-chooze yeah and I think it's just the coolest thing to do you know I mean the first time my buddy Ari Shafir of

course you know Ari right right you know Ari Lee absolutely okay Ari first time he ever saw an ounce of weed I handed it to him here here I you're hilarious I love you here trade this weed you know that's we we were the first I mean in my generation he couldn't believe it in comics I mean in 2003 or 2004 I was the first one nobody to start making some money and that was a stoner you know so it was like fuck we're all going we're all partying okay we're all partying Coco take this try this and you know what Joey is is a guy that that will that will eat a girl's pussy while melting a coke rock on her clip

and then reach into a pocketbook and get hundreds okay all right and mad that he only pulls out ones and fives okay he's mad till he gets that hundred then then oh she can't I'm out of here, right? But when it came to taking weed from me, I had to force it to him. You had to force it to him. You did not, your pride, you're like,

I go buy my own weight. I know you can, but here take this. Oh, you give me that Mats O.G. That fucking Mats O.G. I missed that shit. Me too, man. 35%. Damn, that was good.

I really missed that fucking refo. I saw him a few months ago, man. Yeah? He married that girl. Yeah, he had long hair, and he was doing his thing. Yeah. He said he closed it down. You know, it's amazing how those would.

He was, when Kushmart opened, the word on the street from a lot of people. Kushmart at one time were making $25 grand a day. That would not $25 fucking grand a day at one time. How much was like a gram at that point, do you think? 25. Yeah. Jesus. 25, the Russians on fucking sunset.

Rouse were charging 30 for a The rock and roll rouse, right? Rock and roll rounds. They were charging 30 for a gram of Obama and 90 for a fucking eight. They were straight up gangsters with that weed. Yeah. That place

on, for most, what was that place that we used to go to the pharmacy? Yeah, but the, no, it was the West Hollywood Collective. No, no, we used to go to pharmacy for a while. Oh, yeah, the pharmacy. What the F? When you bought, when you bought,

when you bought, When you bought the tickets for us to go see Clemens pitch, and it was a thousand degrees in August against the Dodgers. And we bought, Ralphie bought a bag of edibles at the other place because the pharmacy had like ice cream, and they were going out on a limb, Italian ice. But the other place next to the breakfast joint that we used to go to there. The...

By whiskey or go-go. Yeah, down there. That place there, with the black chick, the hot, skinny black girl. Yeah, she was funny. They used to have cakes in that, Lee, that would fuck you up, like chocolate cake. You were like 400 milligrams?

Yeah, 400 milligrams. And I remember we took them to a fucking Dodger game. And this was before you had the tolerance for it. This was way before tolerance. This was when you ate shit and went home and cried yourself to sleep and shit. Yeah. You went to a doctor's game?

Yeah, we went to a dog. And there was a thousand degrees. You, me and John Westland. Yeah. And we sat right under the sun, dog, with those edibles, getting a fucking sunpan and brewing. That sun was cooking those fucking edibles. How many waters did you buy from the guy? The water guy when it came by 77.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. They were fucking trained. I handed him on the house. We left out to three or four innings. It was untowable. It was too hot. The ticket was so good that they were bad because it was right in the sun.

Right in the sun. Yeah, those are tough in L.A. Especially, there's something weird about. heat on edibles for me. Yeah, no, no, they make your sweat a little. Yeah, it makes it like, I don't know. I don't feel good when I, if I'm too hot, I can't do it edible. I get hot.

Like, it's one of the weird, Joe always makes fun of me that I pass out in the studio after the, after, when it was really hot, when it was the summer, I would take my shirt off. Just, I have no idea why. I don't take my shirt off at the beach. And I was taking my shirt off here with the door open because they turn the AC off and I was just hot. At least Sayed don't take his shirt off in the shower. I don't.

He's like Josh Will's hat. It's fucking crazy. Hey, Don't Lee. I'm doing good. I'm tripping my balls off. I love it. What are you saying? It's just a lot of mixing.

It's a lot of like twirling mixing. Like swirling like this or like that? No, the first one. Like this? Yeah, the wheels. This one? Like, starry night? Starry night. Yeah.

Yeah, okay, yeah, because this one, that's badass. Is it? Okay, this one's the good ass. Is it? It's both. It's both. I don't know. Like, even in my pee, like, you know, the last time.

Like, I have a picture on my phone of one time I took acid, and I shaved my head and my beard, and I thought the hair looked so magical, and I took a picture. I had it on my phone. It looks stupid. It looks like a fucking, it looks like a sink. Talk. Whatever work for you that night. You were having a good time?

Don't shave anything, okay? I'm doing you a solid. Oh, yeah, it was weird. It felt weird. Wait till four in the morning and the middle of the time. When you're having a good time, shaving eyebrows. Take a chance. No.

Just shaving eyebrows. Go up a bit. Take a chance. You were a 12-year-old. Shaving an eyebrow. Shaving eyebrows in Philadelphia on the weekend. Just put like a little purple thing there. Take a big sharp.

Every weekend. real surprise every weekend it's a different color it's the other rooster you know what I'm saying you got you a little red yeah you got it high oh my god right here Lee they used to do that shit to people all the time when I was growing up putting there on you when you were sleeping oh and then you take a shower in the head would fall off of this shit they used to have some wicked shit they don't do it no more people lost them Remember that shampoo that you put it in your hand? It was lemons and your hair got lighten up.

Yeah, right. Yeah, lemon up lighten up. Or lighten up, lemon up. There was a shampoo in the 70s. Yeah. It was fucking huge. Everybody. Once June came, you got that shampoo.

And you put it in your hair and your head got all light and shit. You got sexy for the summer. Yeah. But by September you, like a dirty haul. Like the rest of the shit. That was the first invasion of the dirty whore. was the lemon in your head. From there, it all went downhill.

Oh, God. I got to tell you, what is the fucking deal? All right. You're going to tell stories about how when you go to Gavons, the producers' apartment and clock up a shower.

Are you going to tell these people? That shit He clogged up someone else's shower I don't fucking know Yeah He clogged it up He knows With what

I take it a shit in there I don't fucking know Dog listen He took a shit in there That was so good and powerful Listen man In the shower But he couldn't push it down

He tried to push it down With his toe And it was such a good turn It wouldn't go down It had hard No That's exactly what happened. And then he said the water started

coming right up on you. All right. Yes, yes, and then. Shut the fuck out. You know I remember these things. And so you watched your feet in the clean because it was disgusting. You're like, I'm Catholic.

I can't do this. And you got out of there. And you're like, yeah, something's wrong with you. And then you came over to my wife. Just in your fucking in your, in a towel, Gavin's towel. I don't think Gavin ever got that tell.

back I think that became my towel all right and then you finished your shower I don't remember that shit I don't know I'm like Mike Kessler three weeks ago my at least stop fucking with the wiring and shit you the microphones you're gonna electrocute yourself then we're gonna have all the problems you okay kill I'm okay all right how about this one Go go. Have you ever told him how you, have you fucked up Jay Moore with the fucking vaccines?

We told him two weeks ago. Oh, you did? Yeah. Oh, okay. All right. All right. I got more. I got more.

All right. How about that tag watch from Gavin? I never clip that. I know you didn't. I know you didn't clip it. I know you didn't clip it. But you and me were the only ones who knew you didn't clip it. All right, I think he was fucking, he was fucking,

let me explain some to you. I'm gonna be as honest I can't with you. I didn't give a fuck. At that point in my life, right. Do you remember he came up to the store? Yeah. He tried to get tough on me with Keith. Yeah, with a little, I looked on him like, are you fucking crazy?

What? Listen, I made some mistakes, but what did it really happen was that a certain girl came up, he hooked up with her. Right. And he fell in love. She told her he was gonna move up here. You don't remember that story, but six months before that, they hooked up Skype. Oh.

And they would whack off on the phone and talk dirty to each other and dildoes and shit. You know, that was 1998, my friend. Skype wasn't 10 cents a fucking minute then, you know what I'm saying? So he started getting these bills and going, oh, the bills are disappearing. You know, who's putting these high fucking bills on my thing? He was on that whacking off. He couldn't come to conclusion. Then the watch disappeared. There was like three or four things. The watch disappeared. He's like five.

Then he came to my house one morning. I was living with Terry. I was sleeping at Terry's and he knocked on my door a morning. That morning I looked on him like oh dogs. Don't ever knock on my fucking door again. You want to see me? You call and we'll meet you later. Goodbye and I that was it. Yeah, and that what time was about the watch. Yeah. The watch was stolen. He left it on top of it before he found it. Right. couldn't make face right somebody somebody saw it on his wrist and said isn't that the watch he stole yeah and he goes none no no i bought a fake one yeah so wait a second you had a real watch we got stolen and you went and bought a fake one the exact kind the exact kind you know the odds of that and we're not talking fucking listen man i was no saint no but you weren't that but i wasn't the devil you know what at that point in my life I was playing that role for 20 fucking years yeah so I already knew I grew up in North Bergen where those guys would go

you know fucking Ralphie he stayed here to wait in the morning snorting cuck really you didn't help him yeah help him oh yeah I did a few lines you know I mean right what the fuck I drank a few beer no so it was all Ralphie yeah right well I was growing up that was every morning When they walked into Hashways, in front of the biggest speakers in the city, they go, fucking Coco kept us out until 6 in the morning, really? Right. You weren't, it was your car. Yeah.

You could have threw me out of the fucking car three hours earlier, but you didn't. Exactly. It's just, uh... I want to let another candle for Mama Hashways, uh, rice pudding. God damn, that was delicious. She's still alive. What a shame. You know, Billy Horenda moved to town.

We talk from time to time. That's why nobody goes home no more. Yeah, right. Because there's nowhere to go. I mean, you can go to Chance Dragging Ann and still get a strong egg roll. Oh, no, no. Those places are still, but our base. Yeah, right?

The one down the corner where everybody went to and got a roast beef sandwich and you knew Mrs. Hashry could put it on the arm for credit. Right. And you went behind the counter and put your own salt and mayonnaise. Yeah, make it nice. You took pickles, you know. No, no, no, no, no. That was that and that's what happened

I spoke to another friend of mine that called In regard to something else about a month ago And I go you come home a lot and he goes He goes after Hashways closed I moved down here and I never came back again Yeah It was that important Hashways was so fucking good dude

You get you get you a fucking Was it chocolate sodas you used to get me Was it egg cream or something No, the U-Hus. The U-Hus. Okay, I get a U-HU-HU-HU-Hs and a rose beef. And chocolate water. A rose beef on the roll.

A rye and on a roll. Why didn't you change it on chocolate milk? What? Chocolate milk's better than Y'Hu, I think. No, no, no. I had to get the full. When you want chocolate milk, you want a motherfucker. When you want a motherfuckering, you-hoo, you want a motherfuckering U-Hu.

I was going straight. 7-11 got you-Hu. There's nights, I stop pee, and I go and get a Y-Hu, and I'm good for the night. You-Hu-W, and I'm good for the night. Drink a yuhoo, you're good. It's amazing what a you who would do to you? 16-ounce-you-hoo? Bro, fucking new.

I did everything. That was before one of the Hachways had the lump, okay? But Mama still came in, and great rice pudding. And then that was my first time at Hatchways. This is how cool this place was. Six months later, eight months later, I am going through and going, fuck it. I don't know any place.

I'm going to go into the city. I don't know any place. I don't want to park over. there I'm gonna fuck JFK Boulevard forget and I get off right right before I go into the tunnel I go to JFK and then boom pull right into hashways they I'm there I got to say hello I got to tell them to tell Coco I they said hello and then mama Hashway not only did I get my rose beef sandwich she made me an extra one and then I she goes I heard you love my rice pudding so here take a bigger thing and she gave me

extra rice pudding and what are those with the cinnamon with the fucking, what's the chips that they had there? Wise. Yeah, wise chips. Potato chips. With the owl, right? That's the ones. That's the fucking ones. It's funny, Lee, one day we were having a conversation years ago, and you were talking about that pizza Paul in your neighborhood. Right, yeah. That is the best

pizza in the world to you. Like, to you. Like, when you go home, no matter what anybody says, no, you got to go to Johnny's on Fifth Street. You still go there. And it still tastes as good as it did when you were a fucking kid. Absolutely. That was only with yelling and screaming and people giving gossip and you know man how about that heart attack on a roll in the morning that morning sandwich that she'd make us oh my god you

pick up two of those i started eating that i mean i started eating there you got a figure in nineteen seventy five doc raffee i went up there i was a downtown kid and i went up there the word on the street was if you want to get better in basketball you got to go up there and play the rough games in the daytime and one day there is kifuvio pygliario phenomenal name he was the catcher on the baseball team by mistake slam me and he goes man I'm sorry you know so he got me a roast beef on rye with Swiss cheese thin shaved lettuce let me tell you something when I bit into that it was all over I'd never taste anything like that in my life I went there every day after that too.

They fucking cool. Yeah. Until the end. We did the documentary. Yeah, absolutely. That's, I didn't, we didn't go in that time. We went in there at 2 o'clock, and the rose beef wasn't ready. I knew the M was in there.

Yeah, right. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? The roast beef used to be done at 10 in the morning. Earlier. Earlier. We'd be back here eating the rose beef. So it's like when they first does that first bounce check, you know, the first time they hit you with a bounce check, and they're like, oh, my wife didn't deposit the funds.

Listen, that first bound check means to boogie with nuggie. It's only going to get worse after here. Don't make me give you references, you know what I'm saying? That first basketball means run. Even if they give you, and they'll cash it right away. They make themselves look solid. What's going on? I don't know.

Don't wander. Don't wander. Don't wander. Don't wander. I got to watch you like, oh, let him wonder. He's got a coat on. He'll be fine. He just falls down some stairs.

Who hasn't? You know? Who hasn't? This is a very interesting night of podcasting. I have no idea what happened, what it was said. I mean, I think we have fun, man. I know I left my balls off. And at least I got to scare him with the snake.

That was tremendous. You got to say that for the fucking hot eye real. All right, dude. The only way I'll forgive you, Ralphie, is if I got a $10,000 steak at the, at Harris with the blackjack table. Not 10,000. I'll get you.

Come on. We'll sit there. 10,000. I don't know. I'm going to start high. You're Jewish. Relax. I know.

What the fuck? We're going to work them. Rub a toe. Look, man. I love you. I'm not going to let you not. 10,000. Will you?

And not fucking play with me. I mean, here, I'll give you money. I'll keep you there. No, no, no. I'm asking from you. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. The snake.

He don't know all these fucking. Focus on the yellow, will you? Yeah. Find the yellow. It is. Did the bee. I'm looking for it. I know.

It's around here. There's a fucking B in here. It was so crazy when you think about and am I ashamed of this, Ralphie Mae? You know I can't lie to it. No. But there was a time I was an under-the-credit

fucking credit card dude. And I still, to this day, out of all this shit I did, there's two things that I sit back and giggle and go, how the fuck, not Hula-Hans, the ground round. in Sundays and I look at you as a man around and if you don't believe me you call

George Khaledisky right now and that's my witness all right I took George to the ground around the way I would walk in you hungry yeah come on let's take it right I walk into the ground over you get what you want it's something you get the soup the chili give him wings how many wings you want six give them 12 you look at Joey and also like the tab would come I go thank you and I go start walking and you go, why, we ain't paying for this. And then you're a fucking accomplice. Do you know how many times I did that?

I think I did it three or four times in George. You made him your getaway driver. Oh, yeah. Without even knowing it. No, no, no, no. In those days, there was always a, by the way. I would give you what you're looking for, but it ain't going to come easy to you.

You're either going to give me a ride or a shirt. I got to take a shower at your house. I got to do something. You have a boy with the turd up. Oh, my God. Yeah, fuck you. You got to give me something. Nothing ain't cheap in those days.

I'll give you 20 quailudes, but listen, we're going to go to the Bronx. You've got to wait outside this black neighborhood and keep the car on go. You know what I'm saying? Keep the car on go. Lock the windows. Keep it on go. Don't open the window for anybody. You don't need no air right now.

You don't need no air. Just keep fucking free of my own your fucking business. You have no fucking idea how easy it was. to make a living. But I would go in 90, no, in 85 I was the worst I ever was. The worst I ever was. With cocaine? No, no, no, no.

In 85, I was clean. I was spotless. I was just smoking weed like a motherfucker. And I went on a six-month tear in the New York City, Northern New Jersey area. That till this day, they're scratching their heads. I would dress up in a suit and go into office building and take purses

and cash registers and shit it was fucking envelopes with nothing in it and I throw it away God damn it I would bring I would go to Safeway and steal vitamins

and tampons and what's the itch when you're vaginal and what's that stuff you get? Cardicil yeah vagacil you steal it in Jersey

from Fort Lee and I'd walk it over the bridge to Spanish Harlem where they'd pay your top dollar for that shit I was a walking

They do that. Scam. It was like it didn't stop. The number one thing I did was I got three credit cards in my wallet that were expired, expired, and expired. One was hot and expired. And I got away with this for six months. Well, that's when they just did the paper.

Three times a week, Lee, I would eat at a fine restaurant, a tremendous lunch on the arm for free. I always left the cash dip. I think they like that. I was never a piece of shit. They invented cameras because of you, I think. I think like because of people are like... Lee, you gave them the card.

It was under $50 and it was the lunchtime crowd. Your restaurant had to be packed. Yeah. It had to be packed. If you went in there when you were empty... They can't look at it too long. They couldn't look at it too long. They would have to take...

When they had three of them for lunch, you'd go to a restaurant. They had three things. In those days, they didn't call, Lee. If it was under $50, $28, $28, $32, they didn't call. They just wanted this chink, chink. You signed and they gave you the card back. Did you look at the names and only get like a male who like not like not like a black dude?

He was Olivia for a week. No, no, no, listen. I became whatever name you gave me. Olivia Lewis. Whether it was Mohammed, Ching Sao Ho. I was a Chinese guy for about two months. When I lived in San Francisco dog, I was a Chinese guy for at least two or three months. Because I used to go to that fucking Japan, Japan town up in.

San Francisco and they were the only people that would take travelers checks without a credit card without a license they were in on the movement yeah yakuza are you even signed for that credit card dude you can't you have no idea that's how it was you got to talk to the people like you own the joint let me get that watch let me try it on all right let me get this one what else you got let me get that one too boom what's your name sam what's happening sam everything all right i made your day today you're going to make a nice commission you take uh visa credit card American Express Diner's Club, what do you take?

And here I'm holding a visa. You know what I'm saying? I'm holding a visa. But I'm throwing different options at you. I got Discover, I got Amics, what do you want? I got a silver card. I've seen you do that. No, dog.

You got to walk in there like you own the fucking place, Louie. And the guy would be smiling and having a great time. You'd give him the card. He's thank you for coming. Thank you for coming, Mr. Kim. Thank you, yes. They're not going to argue with you.

Everyone's about it asked you for a life. license one out of ten times you got to ask for a license then you had to run out of and you lost the credit card the credit card was harder than hot remember in those days it wasn't what it is now if I stole a credit card in LA and I sent it to you overnight mail in Jersey you had two days to go bananas because it would only break down in zones so it would break down in the West Coast zone the mountain the whatever you did it on Friday you had till Tuesday you had till Tuesday all Lee there was a thousand scams remember in those days I was a city of Lee you

me a nickel. I'm going to give you back $5.50. I got to do that. Watch me. I go buy $500 worth of travelers checks and we get your fucking 30 cents on the dollar, whatever, and then we bang your t-shirts. You have no idea of something. Let me tell you something, Ruffer, me. I love you to death because the last 20 years you've made it cool for me to be alive. Like, you've made it you've made it this acceptable. Like when you used to go on the road and come back two weeks later. I love because you got me weed and shit like that. But I really love seeing you because I really missed you.

I figured without you, I'm at the store by myself. I'm fighting these motherfuckers. Dude, we were. It was me and you in that little fucking apartment and it was just a crazy situation. That's where this began. And I would tell you shit and we would giggle and it's just weird that every time

you know, the hospital, the PTSD, the fucking, you know. I was going to ask you, Ralphie, how do you like survive 20 years of Joey's like Like this should be like a plaque for you. Okay, all right

Yeah, longest running friend. Okay. All right. First of all, build up a tolerance to that weed, okay? All right, you gotta be of a mind.

Now, have you been a getaway driver yet? No. I'm not aware of anything. No, no, no. You haven't been a getaway driver yet? I don't believe it. And Coco's not the same cocoa he was. No, no, no.

So, and, And, I mean, while you were, well, you get the Bolivian flu every once in a while, you never fucking brought it around me. No, no. No, I do little bumps in your bathroom. Right, right. But, but nothing disrespectful. You know, like, like, if, like, when I first got here in Houston, if you had to put out Coke right there, oh, I had to die. No, no, no.

But you are always a gentleman. Always a gentleman about it. I wasn't even talking about that. I was just talking about, like, him torturing you, like, mentally. Oh, my God. The tortures. Okay, all right, ladies. I broke my fucking hand.

I hit a guy at the fucking air, I mean, at the, at the post office. Because he pushed an old lady down. Because she couldn't hear the Asian lady. She was an old Russian lady. All right. And he couldn't hear the next go, net, please. Okay. And so the Russian lady was standing there.

And this douchebag, LA guy, pushed her. And she fucking snapped her fucking arm. Oh, my God. Yeah, right in front of me. So I turned around and hit the guy and it fucking broke my hand. Okay? And so I go home. I'm fucking calling Joey and I'm shook up, man.

Like Coco is like a shark. If he smells blood in the water, if you're upset about something, that's what he's going for. All right? So he called me up and goes, get out of there. Get out of there right now. The police are coming right now Because you knock the guy out Go out the back door

I'm outside at El Campadre Alright go out the back door right now And I ran out the back door Thinking like that And I didn't have my keys So I could lock myself out of the back of Gardner So I had to walk all And I was

You know you're fat, you're mad Okay, you're mad Like now I got to walk around the goddamn front I hate to get in there But I'm hiding, thinking about doing a couple down to Josh Wolf's house, okay? You know, what do I do? It's crazy how many getaway drivers I used that I had to cut a piece in, and it's crazy how many getaway drivers I did something with until today they have no idea when down.

Yeah. I think I'm in that group, maybe. No. No. I don't like a getaway, but like a fast leaving. You have no idea. And you know what's crazy? Like, I remember, like, four of them now.

I don't remember the good ones when you come back bleeding, and the people like, what's what happened? Oh, you come back like, O.J. Your hands are cut, your eyebrows out of fire. Your shirt's ripped. Yeah. And what the fuck were you? Oh, I had to go take my shirt out of the laundry.

You fucking retarded. Are you fucking crazy? You're bleeding from your hand. It's gashed in the death. You know, leaves one of those guys in Vegas. that you get them high. Yeah. It's really, you know,

Lee thinks like when Lee was allowed at the South Point, Lee was very interesting to me. Mm-hmm. Because at Lee's age, I didn't like Las Vegas at all. Yeah. I took a hating for Las Vegas when I was 22, and I said, I don't need this place.

I'm from New York City where I could do this. I got to walk around with cameras. I got to walk around with cameras, and they're watching the bathroom. They watch everything, Jack. For me to get down, for me to come to your same 84, I had to know I could snort in peace. I could go to a bar and gag out like I used to do in Houston,

where you can't even talk anymore. I go to that stupid. Allen Park Inn? No, no, no, no. Yeah, fuck yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, fuck yeah. All right, I got that. Or our house.

No, the fucking other bar where you get John this, they had no windows. That bar there, I used to walk in there, and I couldn't even fucking talk. But anyway, to make a fucking long story show, I don't know what the long fucking story show was. It's, uh, what's up, Lee? When I was a lot of the South Point.

Yeah, Lee was a lot of the South Point. He was interesting because we would finish up a show. We would eat something. We'd get high. And Lee would look like, you know, okay, I get it. Lee's tired. I'm tired. And the next day, I'd hear a tremendous story.

How he got up and two. brushed his hair and came down and he won to 5. And at 5.30, he bumped into a friend who put bad luck on him. And he went back to the table. That's the Russian.

And he ended up losing what he won plus 100 out of his pocket. Now he's salivating from the mouth because he's Jewish. He goes back up to the room. He washes himself. He bangs with that. He calls his girlfriend. And he refuses for the last temptation

of Christ. He's got to this weird way of gambling. Then he's telling me how good he is. He's Johnny bananas. I stalk him, I stake him a yard or two. He blows it in two minutes. He got beat up. Like a fucking, like something.

Till this day, he blames me. He lived. I want him. I went to a first couple of hands and he lived. I walked away, so it's my fault. I'd never been nobody's lucky fucking... I'd never have been nobody's lucky rabbit foot.

This guy wins He's a moosh. Oh, he's mush. Put him in the bathroom. About eight weeks ago, he started a new career. He got books. He took a fucking course on hypnotics. How to hypnotize the blackjack dealer.

Sleep. Your bracelet, Ralphie, if you have it. Oh, man. I know. It's actually in my luggage. I go everywhere with that. He took a course. You know, by the way,

I've had Okay, thank you, Church for taking me in and loving on me. You guys come to my shows and after the showroom I'm, you know, downstairs maybe having a delicious

blood-wise product, okay? You know, maybe enjoying myself a little bit before I go home. And you guys come up to me and you're like, look at the yellow. Ralphie, where's that goddamn bracelet? We fucking love that

And And it's because of this I've gotten tons of fans And they've come in And they've loved me And I just say thank you I am very humble by y'all The fucking church is for real dude

They don't fuck around They do not fuck around In Denver I had I had like five guys Go dude I'm from the church And they brought me reefer Okay I had to leave

Good family. We got a good family. Dude, I love family. Man. They'll give you a dollar. Oh my God. Buffalo. Oh my God. Buffalo.

They come running. Houston. Houston's all the time. In Nashville. Oh, my God. Every time I'm at Zanis, that's my home club. Okay. Every time I'm there, every time 20 or 30 people guys are like, man, we love you on the church.

And it's just like, it's so. cool. Man, it's like, it's like, the thing that we had is like, is that is like just going out. You know what I mean? And I'm just trying to distract now because Coco's really getting into his fucking left nut. All right. I think he might be ready to pop a zip. It's stuff.

It's fucking stuck. I've seen that. Oh, my God. There's nothing like, there's nothing like moving. Oh, with the little blood. There's nothing like moving. and fucking getting like stuck, your nut get stuck on your underwear.

You know, me undies is banging. But from that, I have shorts on, so it fucked it up. All right, let me read this out, and we'll get the fuck out of here. I can't believe you're just leaving that there. Don't forget.