The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - The Island of Insanity Party

Episode Date: January 14, 2025

Eating glass, throwing chairs, and having the time of their lives. Joey Diaz and Steve Avillo tell Lee Syatt how Steve taught Joey so much about music, they tell some stories about times they shouldn't have survived and much more!  Support the show and try your 1st month of BlueChew for free at https://www.bluechew.com ' New DraftKings customers get $200 in bonus bets when you bet just $5. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and press in code JOEY. Support the show and get 35% off your first 3 NYKD orders. Head to https://www.nykdpouches.com/CHURCH

What's happened, you bad savages. We're back. Happy New Year. The Church, New Testament, is here. We missed you. We've been busy, you know what I'm saying? Things are busy. Things have been going on.

I was sick last week. My apologies about that. Lee couldn't handle it by himself. You know, I was going to do a Zoom, but who wants a Zoom? The hell with Zoom. Anyway, before we get to started today, I want to, me and Lee want to extend our hearts to the fire department. The people, California, everybody who lost the house, whether you didn't lose a house, whatever. I know it's tough, but this two will pass.

Trust me. It always does. We haven't donated yet because, you know, Blue Cross takes like $22 and this and that. So I'm trying to find a pigeon that I could send a couple grand to, and so it benefits to people. You know what I'm saying? If not, you just send an envelope out and everybody jumps up and down, and the people who need it the most get like a chopstick. So that's not going to happen in my world. But anyway, we're back.

Lee, what's the story, dog? I'm good. Just don't send it to Blue Cross. That's the health insurance company. Whatever. Blue Cross, Red Cross. I don't know. They always show up with coffee and a dog, you know. But it was a good week, man.

We're back. What's been going on in your world, Tarzan? I'm finally, like, back, like, in New York. I've been gone for so long that it's just like, I'm still waiting for it to wear off. how much I love it here. I don't know. I've been loving it.

Wait till you get hitting the head with a stick. Why do you keep putting that out there? People keep sending me messages. Wait until you get to stab. Yeah. Someone's going to do it and they'll be like Joey's going to be so happy. I'm really liking New York. I like, you know, fuck it.

Keep saying that, walking around with that hood on and shit. What hood? A hoodie? They're going to hit you in the fucking head. You look like a pigeon. They're going to just hit you and take everything from you. You didn't see that. What in New York City?

You can't be dicking around. Who's dicking around? Looking like the fuck. and, you know, all bundled up. It's fucking 8,000... First of all, it's been like 12 degrees there. It's not 12... It has not been 12 degrees here at all.

Yes, it has. The low has been 23. The fagging windshield, whatever. That's no... You know, come see me when it's real. Cocksuckers. This is not cold. Yes, personally.

And then there's 8,000... There's wind tunnels. So, yeah, and I lost that thing, which is annoying. That next thing, which really fucking did help, by the way. Thank God you lost it, because you're like a... fucking geek with it.

I told you, you're Jewish. Only Jewish fucking gold chains, which is the fucking neck brace. That doesn't help with you. I'm going to get robbed with a gold chain for sure. No, because you're hiding under the fucking sweatsh. So how's that going to help with cold? Well, because you got the Jew in you, you know what I'm saying? It keeps so warm.

You got the Jew necklace. It brings warm to the neck. Oh, my God. Dude, I can't. There's no way I can win at all. Like, I love it. get texts now? Someone texted me last night. Like you and Joey broke up.

I'm like, I don't know. You have like an army of people. What would they say? Listen, people get stupid when you don't put the podcast up. We didn't really say nothing. I was like, fuck it. You know, they'll figure it out. I got to write

you a note to figure out there's no podcast. If you look at three places and there's no podcast, there's no podcast. You move the fuck on. Trust me, I was getting towards you too, but I didn't answer one of I didn't give a Frenchman's fuck. Keep, go, go find something to do. Go play in traffic.

Complaint. Knock it off with the phone, George. Knock it off, please. For Christ's fucking sake. But I'm doing good, dude. I don't, I saw our buddy Doc. He came in this week, which has been great. Hopefully we'll see him tomorrow night.

Yeah, we are going to see him tomorrow night. Doc Willis from the store. It's been cool, dude. What else has been going on? I've just been doing, I've been trying to write, trying to do, I don't know, that's like the hardest part for me right now is like there's a million things you can do

and I don't feel like I'm doing any of them right. I don't know what it is. We've got to get to a plan. When you're in a position like you, you've got to make a plan, what nights you're going to go out, what nights you're going to hang. It's a fucking struggle.

It's not going to happen because you write three fucking jokes and go to the stand and pop three jokes. I mean, it's just, it's an insane asshole, man. And I tell you all the time, like, I don't have the effort right now to put into a good set anymore. Like, I just don't have it.

It requires six nights a week. Spitting, living, chewing, you know, that's it. That's what it requires. So, you know, it's tough. It's tough for a lot of people right now, stand-up wise. I'm seeing a lot of people fucking stuck. Right. And it's, it is what it is.

You just keep fucking throwing touchdown passes until you're not stuck. And I'm like, the biggest part I'm struggling with right now, and I talk to you a little bit about it, was like the hanging out part. Because I've been doing it, and it actually, it did work. I got up at a club, and it's, it, but I feel like such a fucking loser just hanging out at a club, like buying, I buy a drink, so I'm out of a cheap skate. But I know the managers don't want to talk to me. Eight million things going on.

Listen, it's a process. If you told me at 8 o'clock that you get dressed and go to the comedy cell and hang out all night, looking around, then I'm going to be mad at you. Right. You go out, you do your sets, and then you hang for a little while, and let them see you. Let them talk to people with you. You know, and in time, you'll figure out, it's just so weird, Al. Somebody will come to you and go, I can't get into this club. And you try, you try, you send tapes, you do a bunch of.

bunch of shit. And then you give up. And one day George calls and goes, hey, I'm headlining there. You want to come feature? And you're like, yeah, but the guy hasn't booked me. Don't worry about it. And you're like, all that shit for fucking nothing.

Right. All that drama for fucking nothing. But it's better than not doing anything. You know, like not doing the spots and not writing and not reaching out to your fucking friends and to bookers every week, whatever the fuck it is.

Little commitments become big commitments And especially with comedy Especially with anything in life Little commitments Become big fucking commitments And you just keep It just keep blowing up But if you're going to get momentum

And then leave for six weeks to go on the road Right You defeated all that So you really have to start looking At your time What's going on You know And it's a fucking struggle

Nobody's gonna give you dick In this life guys You know You gotta have to put the fucking work in even if it sticks to hanging out till two and they put you up at 10 to 2 that's a fucking kick to the stomach I've done that shit

that's a kick to your stomach but at least you got the fuck up yeah oh I would love a 2 a.m. right now in New York I had a real show and I'm actually really excited I know and trust me I'm sure in five or 10 years I'll be like fuck another midnight whatever

that's why I live here is it I would remember I went to 2 a.m. I went like there was one time those Jews who would jump up and down that I would go see all the time. In college, I came to see him, and I had like a 6 a.m. bus back, and I just had nothing to do. I didn't get a hotel.

I was saving some money. And one of the barkers got me in there was one in L.A. or there still is one in L.A., but it was called the Ha-ha-ha, or like the ha in Times Square. He said Dave Chappelle's he said everyone was going to be there. There was a comic who, God bless him,

was like, didn't speak English, but it was one of the best nights I've had. I can't wait to be there doing a 2 a.m. spot at a real club. All right. Well, we'll see.

How are you doing? You had a, I know you were sick. I was fucking down for the count, man. I was fucking down. It started like the third. First off, I'm really happy that I didn't get sick over the holidays. Yeah.

The last two years I had COVID. on Christmas. Yeah. Or the year before, I had it twice or something like that. So I fucking stuck, I hung low the week before Christmas because my nieces were coming.

And then, three days after New Year's. I just started feeling weird. And then Sunday, it really hit me. Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, I finally went to the doctor. They thought I had a walk in pneumonia,

you know, the whole fucking deal. And here I am. Slinging dick and giving out bubble gum. It's my mom. Monday, bitch. Whatever you felt last week, that was last week. This is a whole new set of fucking rules. And what, I don't know if you want to talk about it now or not,

but your daughter had a birthday this week, which is pretty outstanding. It was fucking insane. It's too much. First of all, that birthday started on Wednesday. So her birthday was Wednesday, but the birthday started on Monday. And I don't mind. I don't give a fuck. When it's your kid, you know, it starts whenever the fuck you wanted to.

Wednesday, she came downstairs, and we were talking in the morning, and I couldn't even look at it. I couldn't even fucking look at her, because it was real. It was too real. She was turning fucking 12. That's it. It was 7 in the morning. She was born at 708, like Biggie.

You know what I'm saying? Fucking, she went to school, and the rest of the week, it was like I was floating on something. just watching her. And then she had the party. The party was fucking cool as shit. They were like dirty fucking girls. Dirty three girls and three boys. Jesus.

At your house? No. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fucking Dave and Busters. Oh shit. Shitty food, shitty pizza. But the kids have a good time.

They don't give a fuck. They just jump up and down. I still have fun of Dave and Busters. Bro, they had a Miss Pac-Man, like a Mr. Pac-Man. A big motherfucker. I was like, man, I wonder if I love. I left mushrooms in the car because I would have fucking eaten some mushrooms and played that Mr. Pac-Man for about an hour. But the highlight of the night was her little boyfriend came.

She had the, oh, Jesus. It's got a little, no. It's not like a real one. Okay. She's tough of the nail. Okay. She's like eating my boyfriend dead. Okay.

But they've known each other since the first year in school together. Right. And when they're together, you're like, these two fucking nerds. They're two fucking nerds. He's mixed. Okay. He's half black, half Irish. nice kid really nice kid

and you know it was like her and two little little boys went but he was sitting by my daughter the whole fucking day and they would take off together they would play games together and then at one point I saw him holding hands like he was taking something out of her hand and she's like but dog this is what life is all about

that doesn't freak you out at all? No why would it because it's your daughter it's coming in two fucking three four years it's coming oh I know it's coming it's coming what am I going to do Do, throw her out? What are you going to do?

Throw the guy out? They're fucking kids. I know, but no party. Like, I had a girl's dad do that to me once. I just talked to me a little bit. Yeah, first off, when we were 12 and when that 12, it's two different

12s. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? When I was 12, I was already looking at Eddie bitty teddy and, you know, I was looking to dance with you at the school dance. These kids don't even really,

they don't, you know, they don't. You don't think so? I thought, I was going to guess it was way worse. I've spoken to Mercy for fucking hours. I talked to her about everything. And I thought she'd be, like, wounding over the guy? Fuck, no. The guy sat over there and she sat there and she didn't give a fuck,

which was pretty confident of her. She was pretty confident with him. And that was that. We went home, we went to another party, we dicked around, and now she's 12. And we moved the fucking until next year. Now she's 12. Now I got ready for next year.

Are you having a bat mitzvah for? I don't know yet. You have to. Like a Cuban bar mitzvah? Sure, why not? I wouldn't have pork there. Jews are going to show up. They're going to go, what type bar mitzors is this going to be?

I'm going to be having conga drums and chickens and shit. Oh, my, that's a good bar mitzvah. I would take that. That's a good fucking bar mitzvah. Are there a lot of Jews in your neighborhood? I would have met. She's probably going to go. A ton.

Oh, shit. That's a fun time. Barminswas are fun. I live in a high area, Jewish, you know, area, whatever. And it's good. You only got to give 36 bucks as a gift. That's the best gift. Jews are the best.

I love it. You'll get a $36 check. I guarantee it. Ask your Jewish neighbors. There's 18 is like the number for life. So for your bar mitzor, you get double life is the gift. Some people will give more, but you'll get that, whoever, just go with a $36 check. Bro, the bar mitzvite.

There was no $36 check. I got paid, Jack. If I would open that envelope and see $36, I would have kind of and ripped off his little fucking sideburns. I'm getting mine, Cox, like that. Anyway, we'll be right back with my man, Steve Avillo. What's happening, beautiful people?

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Today my guest is, what do I call them, guest, their fucking family. Today, the family member is a guy I've known for a long fucking time. He'll tell you, we still keep, we talk every fucking week about music or something stupid. And I love him with all my heart, Mr. Steve Avila. How you doing, brother? Good to see you. It's good to see you too. Wait a second. Before you were saying that you met me at Our Lady of Libra? Our Lady of Libra. That's the first time I met you, yeah. Eighth grade, yeah. Eighth grade. Yeah. Because then when would I see you at

the 64th Street field you, Raygo, the other guitar kid, that was then, that was that summer going into freshman year, no? Yeah. And you played the guitar

and I never forget the string broke. Yes. You were playing one of the Rolling Stones or something. We were playing brown sugar. There you go. I remember that.

And the string broke and I never forgot how I kept watching you and how you just kept playing. It wasn't like the string broke and you were going to tap the fuck out. No, but you never stopped. And I was really impressed.

I'm like, Holy shit. I would have just got home. I would have packed the guitars. In the middle of the song? Yeah. The fucking string went bian, and he kept fucking jamming and singing. Who was the guitar player?

Sprachio. You had, no, that was before Sprach. That was, I think it was Beckinback and Mike Lebo. Mike Lebo. Yep, yep. Dennis DeCarlo, rest in peace. He was the bass player. Yeah.

Johnny Rago was on drum. Johnny Raygo on drums. My brother Johnny. He's still fucking walking the streets, Johnny Raygo. He is, he is. He sits in with us every time we play now. Comes up and plays a few songs. We ran into him at the restaurant, right?

At the restaurant, yeah, at the Rudy's. Over Rudy's? We ran into him a few weeks. Mike Bart. Yeah, yeah. And it was fucking great. They do like a weekly thing there. Him and Lee Yaccarino and, yeah, and Johnny.

Good guys. Yeah. That are the best. And I think I bumped into you freshman year. The worst, and the rest was his story. Pretty much. Pretty much. The rest of his fucking history.

Pretty much. Yeah. You know, to give you some light, Steve Avillo comes from a fucking tremendous family in North Bergen. I mean, fucking tremendous. If they ever have a top ten families in North Bergen, a Villo is going to make the fucking list easy. And it's the truth.

A lot of people ran through that house. A lot of people went through that house. We had a lot of good labs there. Your mom was like the universal mom, to everybody, you know. I still remember your dad passing. Yeah. And shortly after when my mom passed. Yeah.

Yeah, your mom died about a year later. About a year later. And I'll never forget that I got a call one night to meet you at your house with lubs. For a fucking party, right? And it was, I get there and we're the only three young kids. Yeah, yeah. Like we were the only three allowed there. It was all seniors and shit.

And I walk in there and I'm like, I don't know what I'm going to expect here. And they had a garbage can. Yeah, the garbage can with the cuckoo juice in it. With the cuckoo juice in it. It was fucking everything, shoes. There was bees in it. There were fucking bees in it. We were throwing bees in it.

I always wondered that question. Because it was a punch and there was bees in it. I wondered if bees like fell into it or you were just like, where do you get all these bees? Well, they would be flying around because it's sweet, right? Right. So we just hit them into the punch. after a while you didn't care

Yeah, why? And every time I was scared to go close to it Because every time he came close to that tub One of the older guys would grab you Faw me in the chest And scoop out of the garbage can and go here And you had to fucking drink it I think I drank like six of those motherfuckers

And I don't know what happened to me It had every alcohol under the sun Everything And it didn't matter Whoever came in they'd come in with a bottle And it was a bottle of tequila A bottle of Jack Daniel bottle of gin,

bottle of every alcohol under the sun was in that punch. It didn't make a difference. That's crazy. It was awesome. The band didn't play that night. Actually, we did. Somebody played that night. We did. That was Danny Lowenstein.

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Danny Lowenstein, my brother, Dennis DeCarlo again, and me. That was it. And the drums stayed. Yes. The drums stayed.

Because we used to jam in the back room. That's right. That's right. Fairies wear boots. But I used to play basketball every day. And every day a cop came by. And his name was Ray Anesto. Do you remember Ray Anesto?

He lived by San Suloz. The thing that stuck out the most of Ray was, he always played basketball with us with colored socks. And it irritated the fuck out of us. Like, God damn it, Ray. Why must you wear fucking colored socks? He'd wear party socks. Right.

I'd want to clarify, though. You said it irritated the fuck out of us. Is us everyone or just you? Me at the court. People at the court, because in those days, if you wore colored socks to the high school, they sent you home. Because if you cut yourself, the ink would go into your skin. So you couldn't take gym class with colored fucking socks. So I always remembered that.

And every time he'd come with the thing, I'm like, this motherfucker, he's going to cut himself and he's going to fucking die on the court. And then we'd elbow him lightly. Like, we used to fuck him up a little bit. We were young kids. That's what you do. But that night, I left your house. I don't remember leaving. No.

All I remember is being asleep on Sinsulo's lawn, and Ray Ernesto kicked me, and I recognize the sock. I'm like, God damn it. And he's like, well, are you okay? I'm like, yeah, let me give you a ride home. And he fucking gave me a right home. And he knocked on the door, and my mom said, and she's like, what the fuck?

Don't worry, it's Ray Anesto. He's got colored socks on. I don't fucking worry about it. She was pissed for like three days. But that started like a fucking movement. Like that started a movement of Ville.

That never ended until fucking 1985. Pretty much. Pretty much. It really fucking did. That was just we were out every night after that. And one form, shape, or another.

And then I still remember like our concerts, we all went to see Ted Nujan Nero Smith at the Meadowlands. Did you go to that one? Yes, I did. Yes, I did. I was down on the floor. I'm not going to walk home like a fucking idiot. Cars are doing 90 past me and shit. And you're walking on that freaking bridge. Why were you walking home? Because that's how you got there. That's how you got there? That's the great answer. You think mom gave you a ride in the wagon? Not the concerts. No, but there are buses here. Busses? We have time. We have time for bus. I don't remember buses going out the giant stadium. Not the giant stadium.

We walked, Jack. How far away is that? From my house, from the villos house, an hour, an hour and a half. Yeah, Jesus. I still remember walking home from the track with no money, and cars doing 90 next year, and I'm yelling at Ronnie.

We had $80. What the fuck is wrong with you? Fucking cars are doing 100 past us now. But that was one of our first, like, all North Bergen concerts. You saw a lot of people. Hell yeah. And the second concert I went to where the whole fucking place was North Perrigan

was ACDC Highway the Hell with Ted Nugent. With Ted Nugent. It was the headline. And I still remember like the creepy details from getting on the bus and 20 kids would be on the, because that's New York, Lee. Okay. Big difference. So we would get the Kennedy Boulevard bus.

Or we would just walk to Union City with liquor and drink. and then take the bus by the post office and go right into the fucking city of the garden and then walk to the garden like we own those streets and we were fucking 13. Yeah, pretty much. What were you drinking at 13? I know that's normal now, but from, like, are you drinking like vodka?

Are you drinking like... Back in the day it was probably just a lot of beer. Jesus, great. I think beer, sometimes, you know... They used to show up with a case of nips, which looks like a fucking delivery box now. 64 bottles, right? It looked like a fucking box.

Like when you walk into somebody's house with a case of nips, you're like, what the fuck are they doing? That's 64 beers, right? Yeah. Right off the bat, that's 64 fucking beers. I don't think I've drank 64 beers my entire life. And you got like eight animals.

Pretty much. You got like eight fucking animals. And that was it. We started with me, by my house. You know, I always drank at my mother's bar like a little shot, so I knew. But I started from scratch. I started with the boom swarm.

You do the strawberry boons farm when you get a fucking miserable headache. That was a Larry thing. Larry used to drink the boons farm because he didn't think his mother and father could smell it on his breath. I'm like, yeah, okay. Hysterity.

It was the shit we drank. Like, you know what I was thinking about, though, walking up 46th Street Hill while mixing a cocktail? I can't walk up that motherfucker now Just walking it It would be a three-day adventure If we had to walk that up now

It's that being It's long but it's steep It's really steep That sounds terrible So it's you know When it got cold We turned around and walked up backwards And you drain the vodka

You drain the Gatorade And you put the vodka right in the Gatorade bottle And you shook that motherfucker And went on the number one bus Half the time we didn't even have We would just save on the number one bus It was 35 cents. We said, fuck it.

Why take the bus? Just walk. We're walking on fucking vodka juice. You know, ain't nobody gonna do nothing to us. We're walking. And then we go to a place called fucking

wizards. Oh my God. What's it? That was a... A pinball place next to the hashways. It used to be a pinball place on Kennedy Boulevard there, like a little pinball place.

And that's where all the weird people hung out. Like kids you never even saw play football. You just saw them at night by the trains. Like, you know, doing creepy things and shit. Nobody you knew hung out at Wizards. It was always kids that blew in the dark. They were a little fucked up. I feel like I would have been at Wizards.

And people would say, you want something from Wizards? And somebody would go in and come out, listen, we got like 18 hits of Mesculine, even though it was like 20 of us. Like, we run up there with 15 of us and walk in there. And the guy would go, what are you guys doing?

We need mescal. 15 hits. I got eight. Well, go get seven more because you're light. It was fucking insane. Did you ever play pinball? I can't imagine you playing like pinball. I play cockball.

What pinball? I play with my balls. I do like Mr. Pac-Man. Yeah? I like Pac-Man and shit, but I was never really like a pinball guy, you know? It was the pinball machine. It's sold when we were like 13 years old. Like you're in eighth grade.

You're in grammar school. You're still playing pinball. That's what they had. They didn't have those things until wizards. No, no race cars. That's when you had all the, I guess kids would laugh at now, but what we thought was great. I like pinball.

Pinball is fun. Mr. Pac-Man, Miss Pac-Man. You know my mom had the fucking, the bowling thing that you had to spray the thing on and then shoot the metal thing and the pins go up and stuff? That's what she had at the bar. No pinball machine. You just reminded me of one of the first shows I played with the past masters.

we were playing in this dive bar down in Union, New Jersey. And on the side of it, in this, like, alley, that was still the bar, had one of those things. And there was like four people in the place listening to his play with about three teeth between them all, man. It was hysterical. It was hysterical. But these are the gigs we used to get from our booking agent at the time, you know, affectionately known as Nick the Dick. But, oh, my God. You made me think of that.

There's this woman dancing around in front of the stage, and I'm just about to sing, and Russell comes up to me, and he says, if she doesn't stop dancing around the stage, I'm going to kick her right in a cunt bone. Don't, once you take your band outside of city limits in New Jersey, you don't know what you're going to run into. You really don't. It's the Adams family out there.

Oh, my God. And that includes where I live. Like, even that area there, once you go south from there, it's a different type of jersey. They wiggled to a different waggle. They're not your usual Jersey people. This place was like in the middle of nowhere. It was a nightmare.

It was a nightmare. So we went to see Ted. Now was that the garden when we started ripping the chairs out? Yes. Like Madison Square Garden? Madison Square Garden. You had, ACDC was the opening band. And the cool thing about that.

is where we were sitting. Bond Scott came running down the aisle with Angus Young on his shoulders. And Angus is playing solo to a whole lot of Rosie. Which, you know, that was great. But Ted played unbelievable show, and everybody, nobody would leave. Everybody's calling him back for an encore. So he comes out and plays an old Chuck Berry song. Old Carol, right?

As soon as he starts playing it, chairs start flying in the air, down in orchestra, metal folding chairs. Jesus Christ. We're breaking them apart because they were like held together, but I don't know what the hell, breaking them apart. So you figure, you know, when in Rome, we're just winging these things up in the air. And as you winging them and the things building, everybody's kind of backing up, back and up, back and up.

By the time the song was over, there was a mountain of chairs in that one section of orchestra. Makes Connor McGregor seem not so bad. They're throwing metal chairs? Yeah. I remember whipping one and looking. In your mind, you hear like, oh shit. And then somebody's like, hey, who threw that? I don't know.

Some guy up there. Like, I was all scared. Yeah, I don't know how it started, but we just all joined in. Everybody joined in. And he was just, Chuck, you just saw these things flying up everywhere. That was a fun show. They don't do that anymore. Oh, man, you can't get away with that shit anymore.

And then the second show I went to see with you guys was. an outrageous show because I knew nothing about them. All I knew to the stones, some girls was fucking tremendous. And one day, it was kind of nice out, it was April. And you motherfuckers were like, we're chipping in for a fucking A-pack or something. I don't know. I'm like, what for? You're like, we're going to see New Barbarians tonight.

Yeah. And I'll never forget, I called Mike Denny, the devil, to see if he get tickets and shit. He's like, nah, we're just going over to the scouts. Fuck it. And that was another night where I saw 82,000 North Bergen people there. Yeah, yeah, it was packed. That was a good fucking show that.

It was a great show. I had blue sky see. Remember the blue section up on the top of the garden? We used to do this all the time because you can't really afford much, right? So we're sitting way up in blue. As soon as the lights would go down, we just start hopping over the wall,

running down into the orchestra section. That's how you always got down from. And I went to see yes, and they were so bad, moved back. Wait a second. That's the first show. We moved back.

We got to go. We got to the top. This ain't sounding good no more. They had that circular stage. Why didn't you just leave? Yes, we come every year. Okay. Yes, we'll come to this area here.

August 28, 29, 30th, September 1st, 2nd, and 3rd. I still remember that. It was like six nights they'd do the garden. Okay. And we, every year, we went. You know, I'm running around the bow. after like the fourth year

you're like, I don't want to see this no more. What am I here for again? Because it only costs you like $5. Yeah. That's the thing that we had the opposite. Like now if you want to go see somebody, you've got a splurge $250. I don't know a $2.50 for fucking anybody.

But for a band that I don't know about and people say they're pretty good and I heard a couple songs, $5 ain't fucking bad to shoot into the city for. If you don't like them, you fucking go home. Yep. That's it. Oh, Jesus Christ.

God bless you. God bless me yeah but there was a lot of fucking music a lot of shows and what people gotta remember is that

my mom had just died so this slipped in to take my mind off of things and I was full in like I was fucking yes you were you were committed

I was committed I was really fucking committed and I was good till well right before my mom died we robbed a beer truck and we took it to Cherpie's house and we we stole a bottle of vodka

and he had peppermyn schnats or it was the other way around. Yeah. He had Pepman Schnaps' his father and we had vodka and we fucking, we put, it wasn't, and here's the other thing you got to remember. When you rob one of those beer trucks,

you didn't really know where you were getting. No, you never did. Because we robbed a case of courts. You know how long it takes to heat to cold those motherfuckers up in the tub with ice? They're 32 fucking ounces. So we had to sit there for like an hour, like listening to music.

So me and LeBrano made. vodka and Pepyshnaps and we fucking put them in the freezer and we got fucking leveled that that was a day and then we sit there till three and walk in the house like nothing happened. Like hey how you doing? Good. How was school today? Tremendous.

What'd you learn? A ton. Wait, how do you not know what you get? Isn't it in a campaign? You're just pulling boxes out of things. And there's no labels on it back then? Like there's labels. There's labels like Budweiser, Miller, whatever. Okay. But you'd pull it out.

and rum. So you didn't know exactly what you had, you know, and plus, you know, we were just, we were just doing some of these things for the first time. So we learned as we went, you know, different sized boxes mean different things. But the first time we did it, we didn't know. We just pulled shit out of there. And we did it by hashways. Yeah, yeah. Okay, and then I continued to do it from Albertsons. Because Albertsons, you just walked in there, you walked in with three fucking freshmen and everybody, it was like looting today. You just walked out and see what's security chase. And whoever they didn't chase, you went into the park. And once you're in the park, fuck you, you're gone. Now, it's not North Bergen no more. It's Hudson County problem.

It was easier once we had cars. Once you had a car, you'd pull up and you just hang out the window and you'd pull them into the car and take off. You know, that was easier. Now, I remember my freshman year that somebody, I don't know who, it wasn't me. Well, somebody went on a fucking tear, and they took like four cases of Mickelope, and they hit him in the lockers. in by the gym and fucking, you know who came to me? And he's like, I'm calling the cops. I know they're in your locker.

I'm like, listen, you're not going to open up my fucking locker. Not today. Mr. Lee. Oh, boy. Mr. Lee and me got neck to neck. He's like, I'm opening up that locker. I said, dog, I'm telling you you're not opening that fucking locker. He was tough as nails that did.

Bring a cop, bring whoever the fuck you want. And I had nothing in my locker. It was just the point. Like, you ain't going in my fucking locker. Not today. Maybe to my mom. Maybe tomorrow, but not fucking today, not with your attitude. And he hated me after that.

We hated each other. You didn't go in the locker? Mm-mm. I got a bump because the athletic department was there. The athletic department used to be there. Yeah, yeah, it was right there, yeah. Two doors down, and I think Randy Shave was in there with somebody else. Randy Shaves off.

I'm like, Randy, come out here. Let's see what the fuck is really going on here. Yeah. Because Randy Shave liked me, so that's the only. that's why I didn't open up the fucking lock up. And I think I took business law at the time. And I remember that if I remember...

Why can't I picture this? Business law was right there too. It was like 8th and 9th period by the door. And I remember the girl that was in the class with me. She had given a bunch of blowjobs or something. And they said she used to shake. They said she used to shake when she gave blowjob

by junior, I don't fucking know. A whole body would shake. Yeah, like, a whole body would shake and shit. So, I don't know. But they said that in there that if you get something in your mailbox that doesn't belong to you, just because it's your mailbox, it's your property. It belongs to you. So after that, I started stealing my own Social Security checks and shit.

You know what I'm saying? Like, the government sent me two checks one time by mistake, and I stole them both. Then I'm going to get me now. 1980, what are they going to do to me now? They might now that you're broadcasting it. No, who gives a fault? I broadcast a lot of things. I was going to say, I think they got a list to go.

They were going to get me, they would have got me a long time. They would have had you by now, yeah. They would have had you by now. Like, how many people, Steve, were like Joey back then? Or was he, like, as unique as he is now? No, there's something in the water in that town. Something in the water. There's a lot of crazy, crazy people.

Some crazy than others. Some, you know. some special very very but yeah there's definitely everybody uh and the thing is about the same thing about that town

with the stuff that's in the water so to speak right you run into people you haven't seen in 20 years and it's like you haven't missed a day it's it's uh as uh my cousin actually said it called he called he called he called it's my daughter's called North Bergen a cult he called a cult he says you're not a cult you're a

tribe. Now that makes sense to me. It's a very weird thing that I have been you know I've studied two things in my life really hard and one is the comedy store yeah and I finally came to the conclusion that the skies had like a little beam coming down and put all those funny people together at one time

you know and then I have my thoughts about North Bergen and I think and it's been like it's been like a 30 year struggle when I learn things without learning them like when I watched the Sinatra documentary on HBO years ago, they told you that at that time,

the Irish didn't let the Italian go up past Night Street, and that stuck with those people. When you, and I've said this when Barone was on here, when you look at the core of the North Bergen families, they're all Hoboken. They all had to walk through Hoboken. They just didn't pop up in North Bergen. 60% of those people walked through fucking Hoboken.

And then I still remember the finals at the Meadowlands where we had these short little plug Italian guys. Yeah. And they're pushing these black guys around and these fucking white kids like they were nothing. And I'm like, there's something here. I don't know what it is. And then my mother died,

and it opened up a complete different treasure chest that was right here in North Bergen. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, I do. So when you look at North Bergen from a distance, you go, what a fucking dump. but it had everything at that time. It raised us.

We learned to raise ourselves. We were out until two in the morning. I mean, there's a comedian, Brett Ernst, that does a joke about when you live in Jersey, that all you got to do is go out after midnight and there's always one motherfucker out. Hey, how you doing? Don't you have a house?

No. No, there was eight kids like that, North Bergen. Every park had a kid that. If you just walk past, you hear, pst. And you're like, what's going on? We got a party here. There's a chick behind the weeds. We've got to eat it.

You're like, I didn't even know this existed. You know? You didn't even know. You thought you were going home. You told your mom, I'm coming home. And next thing you know, is you get to your block, a car picks you up. And they're like, we're going to the city.

You're coming. I was going home. I got homework. Come on. Let's go. We're going to go eat or something. And next thing you know, he's coming home at two in the morning. And on the way there, something happened.

You heard somebody with a car, something happened, you know. So you got a story. I mean, it was just superb. Like, I was walking around those hills wounded. Wounded, you know. I was an orphan. I'm walking those hills wounded. And those are hills, motherfuckers, okay?

Those are fucking hills. And I still always had somewhere to be, somewhere to go. Yeah, now you did. Special place. Why do you think New Jersey has such a bad rap, like, outside of New Jersey? Like, do you agree with it, or does it make you feel bad? Listen, there's been bad rap between everybody for 30 fucking years, and at the end, we're all the same.

It's all the same kind of mentality. It's just wrapped up, just, you know, it's an East Coast mentality. They have this in Philly, right? When you go to Philadelphia, it's pretty, those people fucking out of their minds, too. They really, I just feel. Like, especially, like, in New York, I feel like New Jersey has a, like, everyone's like, ooh, Jersey. I don't know. Maybe you guys don't feel that way.

Fuck them. I've never had a problem being from Jersey. Me either. Because I knew what I got out of here. I knew what I got out of here was a master's degree in fucking political science, crime, how to wake up in the morning with no money and have $50 by lunchtime. this is an education here how to call somebody and say I need a job

and a day later you're fucking working you know this is an education we were growing up it really was you know I look at he's family he's a brother to me like he's my brother you know he's blood

like we know each other that long we breathe these others air that long what we're doing now we did in his backyard 40 years ago. And there was no fucking heat. No. There was no fucking heat.

We come back there. There's no heat. A set of drums. Some fucking curtain. Beer and some guy rolling fucking joints. And that's it. And everybody got along.

We've been doing this for fucking years. This has nothing changed. The only thing we did was put our jackets on and go to a diner or something. To go to the one on the tunnel. Collins. Collins. Collins. Collins.

Collins diner. That's it. Nothing's changed. These streets are the same. I love when I go, I bitch about where I grew up and given that terrace because they haven't done a fucking thing down there since my mother died. But then I go up, Kenney Boulevard, and I see Sal's and I see the old, the biker place, which is Vienna's hamburger joint now. They used to be the old mill.

The old mill. All that shit. That was a weird neighbor when we were fucking kids. Oh, hell yeah. Dog, that was a weird little fucking neighborhood. There was a bank there, a drive-thru bank. There was Fisher, whatever, the stereo spot. And across the street were these buildings.

And they had little trees. All right. Now, I discovered those buildings in 78. I used to buy drugs in there. I still remember the kid's name. And then he moved up to cocaine. And then he got thrown out of that. But it doesn't matter.

We've been lurking in those apartment buildings for years. You know which ones I'm talking about, right? Yeah. And I remember one night, it's got to be three in the fucking morning. Again, another North Bergen story. Three in the fucking morning, I'm walking home, and who do I see under the tree? But Dini Cantero and Kruger,

because it was light raining out. And they're drinking a beer, and they got an eight pack on the floor. It's 2.30 in the morning. Both of them are in high school. Okay? Both of them in high school. I walk up to them, what's up?

Guys, none. You want a beer Coke? Yeah, blah, blah, blah, blah. All right. It started fucking raining hard. And we had to go under the building, and the guy had a bathroom window there, right? Ten minutes in, the guy's got to raise his hand. Excuse me? Can you go away from my window? You guys are laughing too hard out there. And we're like, fuck you. And they slammed the window. And Kruger just put his hand through the fucking windows. Jesus. Then we ran away. That's it.

Three in the morning, like nothing happened. But that little neighborhood used to be a hoppin neighborhood. And I had a way. I only lived, even after my mom died, I only lived, what? Seven minutes from your house. Yeah. And there's times I would pass out in the garage and Steve would leave me out there.

Oh, go. And I remember one night walking home all fucked up, and there was a possum. It had to be this fucking big. He jumped from one tree to another, and he was hanging like a gorilla. And I just shot down that fucking street. I'm like, this motherfucker's going to kill me.

he's going to fucking kill me and you would come out in the morning he'd just be there or you knew he passed down the garage? No we leave like he'd say fuck it I've had enough he'd leave us out there with three people or something like that yeah yeah he had enough it's 1130 all I would do is that was an A student I was basically go upstairs go to bed

a bunch of losers get them out there guys keep it down what would your parents say oh my well my dad died when I was young my mom my mom was happy to know that we weren't out somewhere else. I don't think that exists anymore. No, because now, you know, people are drinking at your house, you get arrested.

Right. So they, you know, they'll get me started. I still remember walking into your shed one day. And there was like four fucking knuckleheads and they were breaking glass and shit to eat it. Yeah, yeah. That was my brother and folk and...

Oh, no. I think it was younger guys. Oh. Nah, it was them. Because there was a time in North Bergen where people wanted to eat shit. Yeah, mice, glass, metal. They were eating all the shit.

Clalby and those guys used to bob for crabs. They'd put crabs in a bowl, pot, whatever the hell you want to do. They used to bob for crabs. You know, come up with a crab hanging on their lip, their ear, their nose. I mean, talk about crazy. I was in until this part.

What are you eating glass? How many pieces of the glass can you? I never did it. You never did it? You never did it? Somebody went on Dave Letterman and ate a bicycle. And these motherfuckers thought they could do it, you know? It only takes a jersey guy to go, you know what?

I could do that. And it was in our neighborhood. So it was somebody around here that started eating metal, but I strictly remember one night towards the holidays. They were fucking a table and they're breaking things and they're like eating little things. And uptown was eating fucking mice and glass. They would bite the table. top of a bottle off. That's what they would do.

Look how serious you got. You know, I still remember that. You bite the but top. That was folk. Folk. You know, my brothers? Do you know what made us special?

Like, do you know what really? Like, all right, we had a bunch of characters. You had your brother's characters. We had Diti. We had lube. We had fucking heavyweight. We had Darren Rago. God bless us. And that dude, I still remember doing crazy shit with him freshman year.

But I always think about this. Like people go, you know, was your town really funny? And I go, bro, everybody was funny in Northburg, okay, at that time. But the people who made it funnier were the people that were around us as satellites. You're like, Joey, I don't get it. I eat Nick's Pizza. I eat Phil Sims, the cop, the cop, the football coach. Yep.

In high school, we had certain teachers that, It was always a fucking party when you saw. Mr. Palazano would jump up and down and bonjourno, something. And you go, what the fuck? You know, it was, we had, who did we have downtown? We had somebody that we would bust his balls downtown. We always had some Sal, obviously, with the liquor store, Sal. No, you're not.

You know, all that type of shit. Yeah, it was show and Vito. Vito break his balls. It was the characters around us. that really brought, like, when I think a childhood, if I would have got a TV show, I would have wrote Nick in. You have to write Nick in. Nick was the most craziest pizza place

you could have close to a high school ever. Like, that should have not been allowed, because not only was it Nix, but I still remember Corky's being next door. Oh, God. And as a kid, you shouldn't be seeing that shit. Well, was it allowed or did people just not know? What was what allowed?

Well, I mean, so the whole two things I know about Nix are the two stories that come to mind are the flies lying in it. The Sicilian pie. And then you would both sell him jewelry and then steal it back to sell to him again. And then sell to him again. I don't think that was in the menu that he bought stolen jewelry.

Yeah. In 1979, these fucking knuckleheads decide to go on a, drinking every night while the hostages are in captivity. Well, that was nice of you. And I ran. Do you remember that shit? Yeah, yeah.

And the big topic was Comania, something like that. And I guess. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So for football season, I wound up, I grew a beard. And it was like a beard mostly under here. You could grow at like 16 years old. I shave my head and I come walking into the pizzerie and he goes, holy shit, it's fucking Colmeni.

Holmany. Hormandy. He couldn't say to K. It's fucking Hormaini. So it's a funny thing is, you know, I was married with kids. I went back in there again. This is before he sold it. I walked back in just to see if he was there.

And I was there with my wife and my kids. And I walk in, he goes, Hormaney? Swear to God, he picked me out like that. What a good dude. Oh, he was the best. He was the best. I was there the night when he started yelling at somebody, and they opened up the cheese and the peppering they threw it out of his shit.

He was pissed. He's like, Coco, look at him. these animals. And then about shortly later, I went in down to Quaylud one night. I had puke all over me and shit. They were trying to feed me. And the next day he would see him and go,

Balushi. He would call me Balushi. So that was my name for fucking forever. Balushi, you fucked up. And then one night I saw him outside of, we were smoking hash. Outside of, I can't, I'm 30's car, God rest of the soul.

We were smoking. I'm in the front seat. and Nick, what's going on tonight? He's like, nothing quiet. I go, Nick, come here. He comes over to the car and we're smoking. And I go, Nick, you want a hit? And he goes, and then he looks around, he goes,

give me more. And that was it. I didn't see him after that. About a week later, I saw him, Balushi, what the fuck you give me? I smoke a lot of hash growing up, but that shit. Doug, he used to torture us.

We used to lay into him, too. My favorite was Veneery Because the iced tea Oh God, yeah Was five cents cheaper at Hashways So Veneer would cross the street And Nick would be talking to you Like having a great conversation

Like yeah Nick Your grandfather And he goes Where fucking Vanini And we go He went across the street dog He would throw that counter up And go out there

And Winri just be making the corner He go Vaniti You fucking Jew Oh God But you remember You suck You saw the

He would yell that in broad daylight. And then you had a fucking bar next to it that was owned by a car salesman. One of the best things in the city where people don't know. He was like known in the city for selling cars. He was like the top salesman?

I had no idea. Matt and Honda going there now. They still have a wall to fucking corky. That motherfucker Did he have like a crazy eye or something? You looked at him. It looked like his one eye was never focusing on you?

He didn't crazy everything. You know, I still remember being like 15 And being at there at 3 And people coming out of there with blood on them Yeah People hammered People fucking eating quailudes Like people fucking on cars

And you're like man I can't wait to go in there That place was a bucket of blood for sure That was I'm telling you The pool table in there That's where all the fights came from People breaking cues over people's heads It was a nutty nutty

It was insane dog. And then by the time we got there, like once we started getting older, they changed it from Tom and Corkey's to the best to Gregory's seven-day weekend. Who the fuck is Gregory?

Corkey. It was upscale now. Oh, okay. And he would answer the fucking phone. Corky's the best bar in northern New Jersey. And he had the loudest the fucking jukebox. That was his pride and joy.

That he was really fucking loud in there. And we go in there, Doug, and it was just like, he didn't let us in until we were 18. But he held us to the fucking letter. Was he supposed to make you wait until you're 21? No, it was 18 then. Oh, it was, okay. Yeah, it was 18. That a year later, jumped to 19, and then two years later, it was 21.

Fuck. Yeah. Do you know why I still laugh about the villas that people would never understand? What's that? The dude up the corner from the cemetery by my house, they used to sell the coldest beer in North Bergen, and you used to bang on the door and he'd be sleeping on the pool table. That beer was fucking cold, though.

That beer was fucking cold, though. I remember we drank it all the way down the shore one time. We were still fucking frozen. You could knock on his door at four in the morning. Four in the morning. What was his fucking name? Oh, God, I don't remember. Jesus Christ.

I'm sorry. He had a little bar there. It was just a little bar. Yeah. And he was to people from the projects. Creepy people. Like, at least Puerto Rican's, go out into Union City, these people

just led at those projects there and they would only go to that bar. There were some creepy bars from North Bergen. That was that one? You had the cove with the owner who had the bad wig by Fernie's house. The strip club it smelt so bad in that. I remember I figured a woman in there once.

I had to wash my hand for three days three. It was fucking horrible. It was fucking horrible. And this was a strip club that smelled out? A strip club right on right down the corner from McGuire Chevrolet. Surf, if you're on, this is McGuire Chevrolet and you can take it all the way down. If you hit Bergen line, you went too far.

That was 70th Street. Two blocks in, like in the corner there, it was only open Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays. And the owner had a horrible fucking wig. And you went and then he'd come over like a gangster. Listen, this is my plate. Listen, get out of here. I think somebody said something to him once, Roger. What was that other real slimy place on the boulevard down to,

Buffs or something like that? Where was buff? Buffs was on the boulevard, but I don't remember what street. Okay. Bups was past the stadium. So it was down like in the... 18? Teens, upper teens, yeah.

19. I remember going to Bups. It was no big fucking deal. No. It was just another slimy place. I didn't... You know, at that time, I don't know. We weren't even into strippers. Yeah.

That was not our fucking thing. We were into drinking, getting fucked up, and listen to fucking... listening to music. That was it. Yeah. He turned me on to the Who

Quadrophenia. You turned me on to some fucking good albums, man. The Kinks, Lola versus Superman. Power Man. Power man.

Get it straight, brother. Get it straight. I was hanging with you when a little budget came out. Yeah. You turned me out to Joe Giggles. Jay Giggles.

That was all war, always growing up. Fuck you and Jay Giggles. You don't like Jay Giggles? Let me tell you something. I saw them, I saw them years and years later. They reunited for a tour, and I saw them at the Art Center. Had third row, two and a half hours, nonstop, they were unbelievable.

And he giggled the whole time. He was married to Fay Dunaway? No. Yeah. Was he? The singer. Peter Wolf was married to somebody for a while. Faye Dunaway.

Who would it thunk? Do you think you would have liked music without Steve? Or did you like it at all? Where were you before? I love music. I love music. But I had come from a heavy, Led Zeppelin, Led Zeppelin, Rolling Stone, you know. And Steve, like, I had, I liked the who, but I didn't.

I think I turned you onto Floyd, too, at the time. Yes. You turned me on to animals. Yeah. Which I will be eternally grateful for because I even had it on last week. That's still my favorite, Floyd. Still. Is that the one with airplanes?

No, that's the one. with the dogs. It's the one with the, if you look at it, it's got a factory and a pig flying over it on the cover. And what's the, what's the one where it's like airplanes and they shoot guns? He used to put it on and give me. That's the wall. Oh, that's okay. Jesus Christ. Before we get into that story, real quick, I want to come to you, we got a couple of ads to read, give us three minutes, we'll be back, and then we'll finish up this fucking masterpiece of a story here. We'll be right back. What's happened? Uncle Joey here for Draft Kings. I got together with Draft Kings again. Listen, make the most of the place.

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Nice and warm down here in the fucking, uh, the dungeon of death. Talking to Lee, and you're right, Lee? I'm great. All right, those edibles here? A little bit, they're starting. A little bit, okay. What do you mean? You can't give them to me and then make fun of me for it.

I'm not making fun of me, huh? Really? You just been sitting there a little fucking crazy look. Yeah, a little bit of loose in him, you know what happened? A little bit of him. lube in him. You know, you hear that. Oh, please. I see it. I say it. I say it. I see it. So one thing that I wanted to talk to you about that's important to music that you saw, and I learned it from you. We were there to watch it. You, your brothers, you all got tickets

to go see Ted and Leonard Skinner. Leonard Skinner, actually, that was right, the crash happened right before that. But you had tickets, all you guys. Yeah, yeah. You and your brother said, tickets. And the crash happened, and Leonard Skinner was on top of their fucking world at the time. Yeah. And I always said this. Leonard Skinner was on top of the world, but by a fucking margin at that time. They had just cleared the field.

They were like, you know what? Fuck you motherfuckers. They died. We were a freshman that year. Yeah, I think it was 70. It was either, yeah, it was 78. 78. So we were a freshman, maybe.

Yeah. Maybe. So, and also we just knew how it came out, this new band, and they were fucking great. They were called the cars. And we all liked the fucking cars and shit. And then another band came out, and now I'm too high to even think of the name,

but like three bands came out. And I've always said to myself, if Leonard's skinn it wouldn't have died, all that shit. They would have, first off, Southern Rock, like at that time we had Molly Hatchet. Yeah. We had a bunch of savages.

Like, not this shit, you're looking, We had guys missing teeth fucking liver problems You know But these motherfuckers are dropping it on you You know they weren't the best looking Guys in the world You know, Leonard Skinner

Never won a beauty contest You know what I'm saying? For those For the listeners who don't know what they look like How would you describe what Leonard Skinner look like? It doesn't really fucking matter What I'm trying to say is that now Country Music

You got bowls, you got curls, you got muscles You know Those dudes didn't have a muscle only in their finger, okay? That's it. To shoot heroin and to trickle the fucking guitar, that's it.

And to open the fucking Budweiser can't. So, you know, could you imagine if Leonard Skinner wouldn't have died, that come back to metal that came back in 80? Wouldn't have happened?

That wouldn't have happened. Probably not. Probably not. That's fucking crazy. Yeah. And then, then, God, the car has lasted.

They came out with a banger in fucking 79. Candio, the second album. Yes. But we were all gearing up for something. And it was, I never saw anything like this in my life. You know, I had been turned on to everybody else like Pink Floyd, dark side of the moon. And you buy the album, you bring it home, you do a hit of acid,

you trip, you wake up with bubble gum on your shoulder. And you go, that was fucking fun. You know, that was it. And I loved money and all that shit. And then I think the second album I got into was wish you were here. Yeah. And then one day in your shed, you started playing animals and pigs. And I remember the first time I heard dogs, I just cried.

It's a story of life. We used to say it all the time. It is. Whenever I get confused, I put dogs on, and it sets me to fuck strike. You got to be crazy, you've got to have a real need. You got to sleep on your toes when you're on the street. You've got to be able to pick out the easy meat with your eyes closed. End the fucking story on a daily.

That's not in the back of your mind when you leave the house, shoot yourself. Because that's basically what it is. Shoot yourself. That's not in the back of you. Like, if you leave the house, like, oh, my God, shoot yourself. That's it. All those years, when I used to get up angry and somebody got robbed, that's why I left the house in my mind listening to it.

Somebody's going down today. Somebody's got their lunch money in my fucking pocket, and I want it. That's fucking, man. Anyway, I get a little emotional. Yeah, I could see that. That's a spick shick, so it's coming out. I'm scared now. I know, I know.

But then it was really funny. Led Zeppelin came out with their album in 79. Into the Outdoor. Into the Outdoor, which was a fucking flop. Yeah, it wasn't. But I heard into the evening. A couple of decent songs. A couple of decent songs.

I found out why. Southbound Suarez is my favorite on that. You know why the album bombed? Did you see what? Did you read why years later? No. Pays never showed up. Never showed up.

He was on heroin. Oh, God. Yeah, he was in a bad place. And then you throw on when they did the festival. In the festival in 79? Neverworth. Throw that on when they do Achilles' last stand. He's just the fucking bone.

The heroin is fucking eating him alive. They're like, oh my God, this motherfucker. These are real musicians. Not these okey-doke motherfuckers that jump around today with a tattoo on her ankle. Look how cool I am. Get the fuck out of here. So then we witnessed something else.

So Led Zeppelin came out, and then we were all waiting for that tour. And that motherfucker drank too much, And that was the end of that. Yeah, Jack himself to death, yeah. I was at Moffin' Joe's. When I found that. I remember that place.

I was at Moffin' Joe's eating a fucking ham and egg on a roll, talking to Joe about something, whoever the fuck knows. And I was there, and it was a Saturday. I was fucking heartbroken. Like, my chance to see Led Zeppelin is dead. Like, I'm never going to OD. You know what I'm saying? I was playing on OD and it led Zeppelin the second night.

or something. That's when we used to have to get four tickets, had a shot. You had to mail them in. Yeah. You mailed them in four tickets. You have to mail them in. So you sent four, he sent four, me, George, Tricky Nick, and next thing you know, fucking only two of us got chosen, but we all gone to the concert, bitch. Then, uh, that was a fun fucking, like, we were on a tear. We started on a tear ofills that April. We went to... Wow. There was a group in school that was the gourmet club. Yeah, yeah.

And on Sundays, one Sunday a month, they took you somewhere to eat. And you had to act like, and they were supposed to be like juniors and seniors, but I don't know how we got on the bus, right? And we got on the bus. It rained. We went to China town or something. And they took us back to Mr. Palut's house. God. God rest of soul.

And all of a sudden were like, Palut, what's going on downstairs? He's like, nothing. That's just a basement. Go look, or something. And we went down there and we found some. albums or something. Next thing you know, somebody went for beer. Yeah. And they came back.

These are our coaches and teachers and stuff. They want to come downstairs. We got like cases and cases. Oh my God. We left at 8 o'clock after 60 minutes, though. That's how embarrassing that was. We got there at 12. We're in the guy's basement drinking and they're upstairs like, oh my God.

How do we get rid of these kids? That was right. After the new barbarians, and we were just on a tear. Yeah. You know, everybody was doing their own thing. I was downtown, but I would come up at night. Chia Anastie would have parties every fucking once a week and shit. Tremendous.

And then I went to the hospital, and my mom punched the ticket. And when I got out, when everything, when the smoke cleared, I remember like, I was in your house, like a week after my mom died, we were talking about something. And you're like, the fucking war comes out in two weeks. Yeah. And that's when it started, guys. That was fucking insane.

I think it came out the day after Thanksgiving. Something like that. I just remember, like, you would hear on the radio, like Pink Floyd's new album, La-da-da-da. You know, a little sound bite here, a little sound bite there. But there was this huge build-up. There was a build-up to it.

A new album came out from, like, a big artist like that. We were going into the holidays with fucking Pink Floyd with a new fucking album. fired up and then you motherfuckers drop a bomb on me one night are you coming to get Pink Floyd tickets for me tomorrow? Yeah. And that started like at night

like at 11.30 at night. Yeah, yeah. We were all going to go get Pink Floyd tickets but it was just hearsay. The morning when the smoke cleared it was me, Lubes, you and Joe Fouca Racha. In the Green Monster. In the Green Monster. Okay.

I'm guessing that was the car. Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah, it was the car. I'm in the back seat behind folk. And he's driving, he's a little excited. We're like on the fucking 46 or the 17 or something. We're on a real fucking highway. And he's all excited also, you hear, boom,

and you see a fucking, he hit one of those. Right away, he hit something. How's a cone or something like that? And then we went to, Paramus, maybe? I think it was no tickets. There was no tickets. That's where the ticket master was, yeah.

And then we ended up at St. Peter's Prep. Yeah, we had to go down to Jersey City. Because we were going down to Boulevard when he dropped the ashes on. And he's like trying to put himself out. And the car is doing this, son, a freaking kid. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

I didn't even want to say nothing. I didn't even want to say nothing. I'm sorry. Oh, my God. I blew it. No. No, no, no, no, no. I didn't want to bring up that the cherry hit his shirt

because it's so people go, it's such a bullshit story. But the cherry really did his, he was so excited. He kept talking to us in the back. And all of a sudden he's like, he's fucking hitting his shirt. And I don't know, he's hitting things. It was just fucking superb. And we didn't stop. Like that holiday was rough for me and shit.

but then these motherfuckers opened up the year with we're having the island of insanity party and I'm like what and they're like yeah we go to Hudson County it freezes over and we walk over the puddle and we fucking have a party on the island I'm like I'm not going for this shit and it was cold

it was cold it was cold didn't bother us back then it was cold didn't bother us and I had a quailout Well, maybe it bothered you. I had a Quay-Loo with lubs and folk. And we had to get off the island. And we ended up walking to the Wing-Fong Chinese restaurant.

I remember the Wing-Fong. And we're sitting there, and it's me and Lou's on this side. And focus over here. I think I know this one. We were too high to Dining Dash. Like they were waiting for us to Dining Dash. I kept telling the guy, no, no, no, no, no. We paid tonight, no, no running.

Ain't no being on running tonight. I'll never forget. Me and Loubs are having a conversation. And folk just falls asleep in the pork fried rice. Oh, no. And he's breathing. You can see the fucking thing

and we're like, and we're like trying to fuck. And at that point, we don't even give a fuck. And chirpy's like, Loops, uh, folk, folk get up. And when he got up,

he looked up and a bunch of rice came out of his mouth. We were like, yes. Oh, my God. You remember that story. And I ended up walking home, blacked out. I don't remember. I could sit here for years and tell you I knew where I was going. I remember I had a blue sweatshirt on, like a light blue hoodie and some other jacket on top.

Yeah. I'm going to tell you where I woke up. On top of the Chinese, by the cemetery, my mom's cemetery, on top of the corner, before you hear shit, in Park. It used to be a little bodega there. It's still there. It's been there through generations. Now it's an Indian guy. But back then, it was. Now it's an Indian guy. I go into the checkup on my neighborhood.

Now it's, then it was a Cuban Chinese guy. And on Friday, on Sundays, he would make pork fried rice and roast pork Yakimae, the nice pork with the red circles around the fucking world class. He owned the building, you know, where Jill Gutman lived, Okay. And Ginnipknap, the Jewish girl. I forget what her name was.

Gnipkenau. Yeah, she had like a weird Jewish name. What was the Gnipkenau? I remember. Man, I haven't thought about that in 40 years. What was her name? Like Rachel? Gnipkenau?

Dog, if you think I just thought about it. I just thought of Gnipkenau. And that was the fucking name. I haven't heard that expression in 20 fucking years. Gnipkenau. I remember waking up in between the walls. Outside. Like, it was like,

8.15 in the morning and I woke up like pinned like there was a little alley and I was like pinned on that wall with another wall in front of me and I got up I only had the sweatsh and I was survived

I'm like I can't believe I didn't freeze and I was staying with the benders and I just ran down the hill and went home. You just never made it there. The quailout the quailout had different plans.

Yep, I could see that. How many people were you doing quailus? Like how many people were doing He was a good guy. He was one of a good ones. No, no, man. I didn't dabble in any of that.

None of, you know. To me, every time I saw somebody doing Quailudes, it did not look like they were having a good time. They'd be sitting, you'd be at a party. I was always talking to girls. I was doing whatever. You know, and I'd see, like, one of the guys would be doing Quaid.

They'd be gray. They'd be sitting in the corner, holding a beer. You know, looking like half dead, you know? That's what it looked like. Did you dabble in acidic with us? Yes. So it was always me, you and lube's, I think. Pretty much. Higgins, too.

And I remember one night we went to... Well, he's glad to shoot me for saying that. Delete that. The night that we went to Gammeo's party, and folk was the devil. He was dressed like the devil. Yeah. And you and me spread up.

And there was all these conversations going on. I'll never forget that. And every 20, 25 minutes, I look at you, and then we both look at chirpy, and we go. And then we look at the conversation. We're doing. Because we were having such a great time. Were you at the Times with us up at the movie theater by Carvel up in Fairview?

Did you go to any of those late-night movies? Yeah, yeah. I went to see, what was it? It was like a Crosby Stills National Young movie followed by a Jimmy Hendricks movie or something like that. We were at. Yes. I also went to see Pink Floyd Alive on Pompeii. I mean, listen, you didn't know what was going to be there.

I'm not going to sit here and go, well. No. You went up there, you took your chance. Some of them were fucking god-awful, and some of them were pretty fucking good. Some of them were god-awful. Like the time Crowley, we got stuck outside for the midnight movie, and they wouldn't let us in.

And Carvel was right there, and there was a half-melted double cone with sprinkles and a couple fucking ants on it. And Crowley picked it up and started eating it. And the people, like, just let them in. Just let them. Special kind of crazy, that guy. special kind of crazy

we used to go to movies and rage we used to do so many fucking things as kids that kids don't even think of today no it was it was so much everything you did was outside of where you know like you didn't stay home you were never

home you know I go home sleep and it was it and shower thank God but yeah you'd be out all the time all the time from 9 nine o'clock in the morning we'd be out.

In the summers, we were gone, though. Gone. I look at my daughter in the summers, I'm like, what, this is it? This is fucking it? If they don't take you to a camp, I'm dead. Like, this is it. But then again, I don't want it

with another kid down the fucking shore. That's scary enough. The shore, the ocean's fucking bad. Not for us. Again, we went down there in a different fucking, listen, I swam. I'm fucking the real deal. That's when I'm the Hudson.

Yeah. The fucking North Bergen Lake and the Jersey Shore, bitch. Hack and sack. We used to go fishing down on the piers in the Hudson. We'd skip school, put cases of beer down there,

and we would catch eels and throw them back. But when it got hot, you'd want to jump in. But the thing you had to remember is you had to throw like a stick or something in to see where the current was. Because the current would pull you right out. So you had to find part of the current

that was going to take you back. back to the pierce, you could grab a piling and climb back up. But we used to do this half in the bag. And I like how, like, in your mind, you're like, listen, I'll throw the stick, and then I'll know where the... Did anyone ever drown? No. Because, you know, you watch the stick.

I could watch 18 sticks. I'm definitely going to drown. See, it's that type of attitude. You know, I'm not an aerionic type of Jew, you know what I'm saying? I just, you're not like a floating type of juice. No, I don't. float at all. You never study in Israel with those motherfuckers. They float.

They float underwater. Now let me know again how you got involved with the band business. You always had a band. The first time I got I saw there was a band on 51st

Street that Johnny Rego was in when I was like 12 years old, maybe 11. And I remember watching them play on his porch. And every Every time they were playing, it was just loaded with girls in front of it. So I was like, I got to do that. So I started learning guitar again, because I first started when I was seven and I quit. And then I picked it up again at like 11 or 12.

And then every once in a while, they'd let me sit in with them on the porch. And from there, like, I didn't really do much in high school, but after high school, it was, you know, actually I really didn't do much little things here and there until I was much older. I was in my 20s. I ran into a buddy of mine on a train in a path train. And he was like, hey, we're going to be jamming down at this place. Let's see, you know, why don't you come down? So I came down and formed the band with them. And then he went to follow the dead, the drummer, and Johnny Regal joined. And I brought my cousin in.

And that was the cheese bags, talk about a silly-ass name. But we were together for probably about 10 years, and then I took a bunch of years off with the kids. And then it's the band I'm in now, the past masters. for almost 20 years. The lineup has changed, but it's still, you know, same thing. I mean, it's a great band. You guys sound fucking great. Whenever I see you, it's great to see you up there.

I try to focus on you and listen to the vocals. Fucking tremendous. It's fun to be up there. I still haven't gotten my tape from Overthrow that you were going to lay down from me. From Chris Cornell, you sound just like him on that track. You can pull it off with the acoustic. It's just crazy that you got to be.

into music. I would have gone into music, but I would have pawned the guitar. You know what what I'm saying? Like, I was one of those crazy motherfuckers. I would have to show for ukulele some nights. A fucking harp. Do you, because I was, when I found out you were going to be on, like, the last couple of years I've had, like, a regular day job, too. And I don't think, I don't see a lot of people, it's more than a hobby for you, but, like, it's something like, artistic that you like to do. Do you think like it's important outside of like family and like work to have something like some sort of outlet like that? Absolutely. Absolutely. It keeps me sane. And it's it just, you know, I love music. There's nothing like playing with a group of guys and like hitting. Like I mean,

you're just in the pocket. It's almost as good as sex. There's no other way to describe it. It's just, it's one of the best feelings, you know, ever. And like, why do you think, I mean, they could just be that to reason, but, I mean, to keep it going for as long as you have, what, like, what kept you in it? Just like, it just, it's, like, it's, like, fun. It's fun. And it's, it's, it's, it's the guys you, you know, you're in the band with, you know, everybody gets long, you know, we all have real jobs and stuff because you can't live on what we do, not anymore. but it's just it's fun.

I look forward to it every week we rehearse. So we get together every week and then, you know, that's not just the shows. I mean, you know, you work. And everybody puts time in, you know, to learn things and to come

forward with stuff. So it's just that whole creative process even though we're not doing original music as there's nothing better. And you know where you stand. Yeah. You've known where you stood. for the last 20 years.

Pretty much. Pretty fucking cool. I noticed that too. And I spoke to Lee that there's different types of comedy you could do. As long as you're trying, as long as you're thinking,

it's better than fucking sitting there watching Jeopardy. Yeah. Anything beats sitting there watching fucking TV. I get depressed on nights. I got nine. Like, what am I doing my life?

I never watch this much fucking TV in my life. You know, it's sad. a football game I can watch a quarter and then I gotta go I got a lot of shit to do I can't sit and just watch something no I can't do it

I have to if I'm sitting watching something you know I'm doing a puzzle or I'm reading a book like I'm doing like three or four different things at the same time you know 90% of the time and it pisses my wife off to no end God bless her

the TV will be on and I'll come in with a guitar. And now she... You know, she's trying to watch television. She's giving up now. She's learned to give up now. She goes and she'll watch it in the bedroom and I'll sit in the living room.

But, yeah. You will never be bored if you can play a guitar or play some type of musical instrument. That's for sure. That keeps my attention. Really? Yeah. And I don't think they're sad,

but whenever I tell the people, people at my day job that I do comedy like, wow, like it's very foreign to them and I see a lot of them and it's great and said you took time off for your kids, but like it seems like a lot of people have, they have work, they do stuff with their kids

and then they're in bed at like 8.30 and it just that's why it's one of the reasons I love stand-up and I was interested if it's similar for you. It's just, it's an outlet you get like oh it's a it's it's a huge

stress reliever. It's a huge outlet for you. I mean, I don't know what comedy is like. You know, I know I enjoy it, watching it, but it's, you know, if it's the same type of feeling where, you know, when I'm done at the end of the night,

I've put everything I have into playing, I'm tired. I'm sweaty. I'm tired. It's like if you look at the end of the night, You know, I can't compare myself, but it's like when you look at like a Springsteen show and you see them at the end of the night, you know, you basically can ring them out. Right. You know, and that's when I'm done playing at night, I'm just bring me out.

I'm finished. It's a confession time. I was in a band in North Bergen. You were? The sixth grade. What did you play? What was the band? I was a singer.

A friend of ours played the bass, Dean. LaPriek played the guitar and Ray Canella played the drums. No kidding. And then my voice went sour like Michael Jackson. You got that nice deep voice after that. Yeah, but Lovito used to let me sing on Fridays. Like I like singing. You could have played drums too.

I've always liked music. Listen, I've always loved music. My problem is that I'm a fucking antique. So 20% of the stuff I listened to came out the last 10 years maybe, if I'm lucky. You know, Tyler Kennedy, whatever, and Slash and those guys, I like the jam that we like by contraband.

Delvert Revolver. Velvet Revolver. I like this Billy Irish shit, believe it or not. My daughter listens to it. It's okay in the car. It's somebody not yelling, and I can hear the lady with the directions. You know what I'm saying?

That's the most important lady I listen to. Make a left turn at 150 feet. Now I gotta do the math in my head on it 50 feet. But, come on, man. 80% of the shit that's on is the shit I grew up with. Whether it's Spanish, rock, black music, soul music. It really is. You can't get away from it.

And listen, it was such a, like, I listened to a lot. So when I revisit some, I haven't listened to it in two years. Like, I put on, I was cracking jokes about Marvin Gay, and I put on the really good album. the other day. And it was fucking, you know, to hear this motherfucker go off. And then I'll put on,

what else now? I was listening to, because that's why I brought it up to you the other day. I can't remember either. Yes, fragile. Okay. Yes.

You know, even that shit. You know, I'm doing shit. I got to listen to something. Yeah. When I'm doing shit and I'm involved and I'm trying to clean something out, you got to have some type of

fucking music on or you'll lose your mind. I just that's what my my wife got me a foot massage for Christmas I go listen you got me another fucking gadget because my wife loves fucking gadgets last week the gadget she had I had no temperature until I got to the doctor he's like you're 102

my mom my wife taking the fucking gadget you know the thing that you roll on your head they roll it's 98 no it's I can feel the fucking heat in my eyes but I'm not gonna argue my wife if she don't have a gadget life's not working fine she loves gadgets

I wake up in the morning. There she is in the morning, trembling, because she's sitting on something for her neck. Would you just go to the fucking gym? You know what I'm saying? Like it aggravates the fuck out of me. So for Christmas, I wake up.

Oh, I got your foot massager for your calves. I go, I'm going to use that once. Then I'm going to sit over there and collect dust. I go, why don't you trade that in for a fucking tremendous? I'm talking about, I want to hear it come up through the walls. What do you call it? A Bluetooth.

A speaker? Oh, like a... So I made to get me a fucking Bose. You know. That's what I miss. You want to tell you what I miss? It's 6.30 in the morning. My fucking neighbor, I'm giving that terrorist.

Me blasted fucking in the evening by Zeppelin. And the Jehovah Witnesses hitting on my door. Oh, please, close the door. And my mom passed out for the night before. She can't even hear the fucking music. And I'm like, yeah. You know what? I still have in my basement?

What? I still have my stereo from my... college. With the big, big speakers, I got them all like surrounding the four walls all pointing in. I still have a dual cassette deck, CD, and a turntable.

You could be a DJ now, too, part-time. Part-time. Two turntables with a mic. Steve, it's been great to have you on. That's been great being here. It's great to have you as a friend for fucking 50 years. Absolutely, man. Thank you for opening your home up to me.

and with your other crazy brothers. Yeah, they're nuts. And the music and the shed and the fucking stories and the people eating fucking cinder blocks when I walked into it. What is going on? You know. We had a lot of fun growing up, brother.

Yeah, we did, man. And it's why I'm here. That shit stayed with me to, just the fact that you were neighbors with fucking Diti. Yeah, he was around the corner. The butcher shop, the longos, fucking hell of the neighborhood.

Yeah. What am we going to do, walk up that hill for fucking, for donations? Like, we could. Donations, yes. I think it's going to be bets to see how fast we can get up. Dog, I look at that hill, and I'm like, I don't know.

That's got to be a three-dayer. That's a three-day-a-dunk. And you're going to bring a tent? How are you going to take three days to walk up a hill? Bro, don't pick us up at the spot where we passed out the day before. Is it that bad? It's up there.

Because you forget that we were young. We had fucking HGH, baby leech. You had sperm in your toes. You had sperm coming out of you. Think about it. Every day I went for a run. I would run up that freaking hill. And you walked it twice a fucking day.

You walked in the morning. Either I walked the one by my house and then you had to meet by the bottom of the hill. By your house. And we'd walk up that hill. Sometimes with ammunition, we're fucking bomb. bottles of Gatorade and a bottle of poop off,

up in that motherfucker, you know what I'm saying? And then you get to the top of the hill and you're so hot from walking the hill. You're like, why are we going to get on the bus for now? Let's just walk it. Yeah. We go through the cemetery too. We go through the cemetery at night. Right?

Seeing the devil worship of the shit. I took a fucking shit one night in the cemetery. What? Old grave. It was like from 1834. There ain't nobody coming back from 1834. I think they might have. I took it.

You actually. You shit on some. Listen to me. Well, I guess this great. There's like new areas, but if you get lost, there's like an area where they have like colonial soldiers back there. It's like, you see a guy with a musket out of one leg and shit. You know what I'm saying?

Ain't nobody coming to visit those poor people. They had some crazy. Remember those mausoleums, the one like a pyramid? You think I'm fucking kidding you. That's some scary shit in those hills, 51st Street. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, all that down there, they'll stab you. I took my pants down.

And I took a shit. I'll never forget there was like a little, you know, a cross, and it was broken. It was broken. It was shit. That whole area was nothing. But I take this shit, it's freezing. It's the night Freddie Prince got shot, by the way. Okay.

It's fucking freezing. I go to get up to put my pants on, and I didn't take my dick out of the pants. It peed in the fucking pants, and now it froze. It was icicles. And I had to walk in my house with these fucking... swimming pants on. My mom was like, what's going on here? Your pee-p-p-pants.

Yeah, like, what happened? Nothing, ma, nothing. Go to bed. Go to bed. He's go to bed. It was good to have you on, my brother. It was great to be here, man, thanks. Guys, thank you.

I'm sorry about last week, about not showing up, but we were sick. I was sick. Lee was just fucked up, walking around New York with a scarf on, like fucking... It was cold. Like a flying Nazi.

You know, he's on the wrong side now. At least I'm always flying. We love you guys. We'll be back next Tuesday after election day. If anything's left, you know what I'm saying? If there's anything left, we'll get through to you, Cocksuckers. Tuesday. We'll be back.

Pilot to Bombadier. One more time, Steve Avillo. One more time for my man, Lee Syatt, and the fucking killers in the back there. Fucking Tricky Nicky and George Defone, Coxucker. Love you. Bye. We're all looking to be a little harder, better.

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