The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - The Man, The Myth, The Legend

Episode Date: September 9, 2025

Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt talk about the show at The Seminole Hard Rock Hollywood, FL, an experience of a lifetime, and Joey brings childhood friend John Crowley on to discuss their reign of terror together in high school. SHOW NOTES New DraftKings customers can bet just 5 bucks & get $200 in bonus bets instantly. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app & press in code JOEY If you're 21 or older, get 25% off your first order + free shipping @IndaCloud with code CHURCH at https://inda.shop/CHURCH #indacloudpod

Kick this motherfucker, Neil Lee. Meetings from Podcastville. The church of what's happening now, New Testament, is coming on. What is it? It's September the 9th, 2025. If everything worked out right, I would have been married 36 years today and still been a fucking loser.

So it's the truth. I would have been married 36 years, taking orders. I would have probably been a fucking roofer with one hand by now. I would have had fucking skin burn. Why would you have lost a hand? Because who the fuck knows at this, you know, at the rate I was going.

How are you, Cogsuck? I'm doing great, dude. Everything good. There's Lee Syatt, my fucking Cato of love. Hello. What's happening, buddy? Dude, what a great weekend. Tremendous weekend.

What a, what a, like, just from, like, the beginning to end, it's just, like, one of the coolest. I had the most fun I've had in a while. Like, first of all, and this is, like, a very, if you had asked me two years ago, if you would ever have a private plane, I'd be like, he would never dare do that. But now, like, it was, like, it was so cool to just walk right onto the plane. So where, like, and then they brought food, which free, which, you know what was funny about it? The difference between the flight there and the flight back, the flight there, everyone was, like, having, like, half a sandwich.

No one ate any of the snacks. On the way, right after the show, I was going against that. I had this, I don't drink. I had two little nips of makers mark. 30 milligrams of edibles. Your eyes were fucked up. And then you started eating nut of butters. Like, listen.

First of all, you were the one who told me about it. I do two fucking makers mart. I mean the salami sandwich, you know what I'm saying? They didn't have salm sandwiches. That fucking, uh, slim jigs. Well, fucking, first of all, Slim jim is gross. It's not gross. It's, it's a lot better than another butter when you're drinking.

No, no, it is not. I will put a nutter butter. That was one of my favorite food tips on this entire podcast with Ali Sadiq. He would put an in prison where they know how to fuck around with junk food. They had honey buns slathered and peanut butter butters on the outside.

That, when I know I'm dying, I'm making that. That sounds so fucking good. And by the way, that's bullshit that you bringing that up. I got to be honest. Because you were the one who was like, hey, they got nutter butter. You want some other butter? I just said it. I went over that.

specifically told me. I went over and I got those chili Cheetos, right? I sat down and I go, wow, there's nutter butters, there's Oreo, there's chips oil. You can't say that to me, hi? That's, there's, the best was when George was talking to the cigarette girl in the casino. And she had cigarettes, but she had M&Ms and fucking peanuts. And I'm like, and Lee's looking at them as we're walking by and the chick's got tits out of the ear. I didn't see the tits at all.

And Lee's looking at the fucking $100,000 bar and the Kit Kat. Unbelievable. It's a problem. Listen, man, I've always been very lucky that people have taken me on shit and also when they got a private plane. I don't say anything. And I didn't know how much, listen, let's be honest. One thing that people don't know is how much things really cost.

People have no idea what anything costs. Right. It's like that saying, you don't know what you need to, you need it. You know, it's like somebody came to me. In fact, make a mental note. We could get ads on New Jersey. 12 for fucking oceans. Yeah, absolutely.

You know? And they're like nothing, nothing compared to, if you call the New York Times, you want to put an ad. It's nothing. Radio, nobody listens to the radio. They still do. You got a better chance of fucking shoot yourself. I swear to God.

Who listens to AM radio? Not necessarily AM. But what's left on FM? They have at least in Boston. They have all the sports on FM now. They have, I mean, it's... Well, sports in Boston and New York is huge. Yes.

Sports radio is fucking amazing. They should get this guy as a draft choice. I think not. I grew up on sports. I love when they have like regular callers who like call, and they think they're like a star of the show. It's like it's Charles from Brockton calling. And he's like, I called yesterday.

And they're on every day. It's my, I love sports radio. So it was funny because I saw one of our friends. I'm not going to throw them under the bus. Blue with this company. Okay. And I just went on their website. I went on their Instagram page,

and I saw who all flew there, and I just called them. And I thought, but they were the best prize. They were everything. Everything across the board. They were just nice people. They had work with comedians before. So I'm like, let's give it a try, you know. And I told you guys two months ago,

I'd rather, listen, comedy before the pandemic for me was a business, and it was lucrative, and I was having, fun with it. But I really wasn't having fun. I was beating myself up because everything was so serious. Everything was so serious. I had to take everything so fucking serious because they call you and they're like, you know, you're three tickets from selling out. I don't need this at 6.30. You know what I'm saying? Like you don't need this at 6.30. Then they call you on a Friday at 6. The agents think they're slick. Yeah, I made a no-call policy with me. Don't call me after Wednesday because you're just going to torture me.

Unless you got an envelope, call me. If there's no envelope or speculation, I don't want speculation. Because what they do to you is they call you Friday after you sell out. They wait until you start selling out. And then they call you and they go, hey,

congratulations, you sold out. I just talked to the people 1024. And they start booking you. You're high on the ether. You don't even look at the fucking calendar. Right. They just threw you an extra five grand. And you're like, okay, I'll beg it.

Then you go home, and that's the weekend you fucking, you have to go to a wedding, your kids fucking roller skating. And now what are you going to do? Now what are you going to do? And it's like I used to have like a two weeks a month towards the end. That's what I can handle, man. Four different cities, two shows a night.

That's plenty. And every once in a while I would sneak a fucking Friday and Saturday in there or they sneak it in. Like I would go two weeks a month. And next thing, you know, I'm looking at my calendar and I'm working six weeks in a row because the two weeks bumped into the two last weeks of the month bumped into the two first weeks of the fucking whatever month.

So I just, anyway, I want to start having fun again on the road. If I'm going to take a fucking flight, I'd rather take half the money and have fun with my friends. And me getting up at 5 in the morning to walk through a fucking airport, ain't fun no more. I earned my stripes. I fucking did it already. Many are fucking day.

You don't know what it's like to work. walk through a fucking airport. After you've done four shows, four flights, you took edibles the night before. Go ahead. I'll put you at the Detroit airport. Go ahead. Well, you have to go under the fucking airport,

and it's just blue lights. And you think you're in the fucking twilight zone in four in the morning. You have no fucking idea. Well, I'll take you to Chicago one time where they switch your gate and you need a car to get to the other place. By the time you get over there, you're fucking done.

You're done. Your flight's taken off already. You know, I went through all that shit. in the morning. 4.45, getting to the fucking airport. Remember that time we were, what time we were at Kennedy? When we ate the edible to three in the morning.

Oh, we got lost in the way there. We got lost in the way to Kennedy and shit. You got mad at me that I didn't know the directions to Kennedy. There was those ways then. We were doing some shit. I'm like, Lee, we're in fucking Queens. West Kennedy Airport. And we had like 10 minutes to get there, dog.

I was cutting motherfuckers off. By the way, we ate banana bread on the way. Like, as we left the hotel. We ate fucking banana bread for breakfast. We were fucked up. fucked up by the time we got to the airport. Yeah, we did get there, though. Yeah, we got there.

And I think we just ran away from the rental car. They thought we were Arabs. And they just fucking ran away. They figured it out. They always figured it out. Oh, my God. But it was, I will say the Jew and me was like, you know what? The way there I could have flown commercial.

Like the way there, but the way back, the way back was the best part. That's what it is. The way back to go from literally. the stage to our bag to on the plane. Like they drove us. It was like an Uber to the stairs. That part was cool. Because then we were home.

I was home at 3.30. I got home at 4.30. I was wide awake. I watched something. Yeah. I was up to 5. Yeah. Listen, man.

I think that let's talk about, let's say you do a weekend and you're a feature act. You have a six-hour fucking drive. You get back to you, you have a few beers, and you get back to your hotel room at one. in the morning, 1.30, you got to get up and leave this hotel room, get in the car, and drive six hours. After you had the weekend of your life, you opened up for Dave Attell, he had five sold-out shows,

and to top it off, they're only giving you $500. A guy like a teller throw you an extra fin because he's a fucking gentleman, but you still got a six-hour drive home, which is a fucking nightmare, okay? So think of, and I, listen, I did that point. I even got on the bus after a long weekend. I don't want to hear it from any fucking body. I paid my fucking dues. And then you get on a plane, and it's like the same thing.

When you're a feature acting, you get on a plane, you're sitting in the back of the plane. You're smelling farts, feet. You're next to fucking federal prisoners and shit. They're trying to fucking work you for a nail file. You know, it's a fucking late. Yeah, you get delayed. You can't afford a big flight,

so you have to take a connecting flight. And now you're sitting at the connecting flight, and you're so broke. They're like, we're offering $250 to switch till 6.30. And you're up there fucking, let me say something. I'll take $150, but $100 got to be a bill. I remember one time, they were like, I don't know if we could do that.

Well, you got to do it. Because I had no money. I needed cigarettes. I was in Denver. Finally, I just went behind the counter and took the fucking camels and ran out of that. And then you got to walk out of that airport. And I just went in the bathroom and started smoking.

You ever go to Denver airport? Bring your fucking roller skates. Bring your fucking roller skates And then after you get in your Uber He still got 45 minutes to get out of that And then you gotta hit whatever the boulder And that's another fucking hour It's not like when me and George were partying

35 minutes to pick up a gram of blow Those days are dark Jack That's a fucking hour to fucking boulder now So I don't want to hear it So anyway the point is We fucking deserve the private plane We pulled it off We did great

The show was great. Lee blew it up. Steve Simone blew it up. I had the best set in five years. At least I was, I knew what the fuck I was for the first time. My lap. And it was great. The hotel was great.

The stake at Council and Oak was fucking on fire. The veal chop. George even brought half of it home. He brought the bone home. He's planting it in his yard to see what comes out. Fucking tremendous. It was just a great weekend. I'm happy you guys had to do it.

It's like fucking Christmas in September. I don't know when this will happen again. Right. Virginia, we might be taking the train and shit, but we'll work it out. You never fucking know, so. But yeah, like you said, the shows were awesome. The show was awesome. I don't know, but that was the most people I've ever done a show for.

And there was a lot more than 3,500, gentlemen. Yeah? Damn, dude. That's crazy. 4,600. No way. You serious? There was 4,600 people on that motherfucker on a Saturday night, though.

Oh, there weren't. There were 4,600 people. I'm glad I knew that You might faint You know when you get out I knocked them out Hold on Luckily the lights are

Fucking bright as hell I could see nobody I had maybe Maybe the little bit of the front row It was fucking gorgeous But don't even And When I went out there

It took I don't know how I didn't faint That's the biggest room You know Like that's a big room The energy You'll knock you off a little bit Wow

I say oh you fucking stutter Oh no I I'm glad I'm glad Steve Simone Save me And I went up second It was It was

crazy Because even there was a little bit of an echo Which I was like I'm glad I heard before There was an echo on the side But I think once you It wasn't as bad once you got on there Once you got on stage

Thank God I was a little worried about that I was like okay That's up But it was something I was like getting ready for Because I had done Newark which is like 31 And I did a I did okay

But it was like I was a little bit more prepared For what it might sound like Because it sounds It sounds weird, but it just sounds different. And it, like, it messes with your timing a little bit the first time you hear it. What are you going to do? I'm saying?

Don't worry about nothing. Don't worry about nothing. I'm not worried about it. I had a great time. I'm worried about sound. Who gives a fuck? Just crack your jokes and take your time. I worry about everything.

You know that. Anything. Anyway, we got a great guest. Guest coming on tonight. These are both two childhood friends of mine that I love with all my heart. So give me two minutes and we'll be right back with these five. What's happening, beautiful people. Uncle Joey here. It's time for the fight we've all been waiting for. You got Canello going up against Crawford and guess what? Draft King's Sportsbook

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Thank you very much in the cloud. You're beautiful people. These are a great product. Look at the shape of me. You know what I'm saying? We're back! Anyway, we got a great guest tonight. I haven't seen this guy in fucking 30 years.

We spoke about 15, 18 years ago. You were doing children's books or some shit. And I'm like, we're from North Bergen. Children's books. This motherfucker lost his mind. But I want to introduce to you, John Crowley. We got another guy over there, Dennis Kalangelo. He'll come on later during the football podcast.

We'll tell you about it later. What's up, Big John? How you doing? You know, trying to put the pieces together. Me too, man. At the end of the show, remind me, we'll bring the picture that you drew to show America. All right, yeah.

The best comic in the world. No, no, no, no, no. What's up, John? Talk to me. Who gives a fuck about comedy? Tell these motherfuckers how it came to be. Let these motherfuckers know where we came from. Sheldon Snow at Kennedy fucking school.

That's it, man. smacking each other to death. That's right. And this guy, Joey here. Coco. Coco, that's right, Coco. He convinced me to, what was it, shave my eyebrows back in the death.

I don't remember that. You don't remember? With Louis and Kurt? God rest their soul. Yeah. Dead. Yeah, Kurt. Kurt.

So, you know, remember this. You, you, you were, um, you were saying, we believe, Crowley, we believe. And then, uh, come on, Crowley, we believe, you know, and then, uh, use, uh, I don't know, you know, so long ago, but at the end of it, either I shaved my eyebrows or you or Kurt or Louis. And then, um, this was in the summer. We were, we were smoking, uh, so many joints and, uh, it was, uh, and then I I remember had to hide it from my mother. Everybody did. Yeah.

That's just you. You're the only lucky one. It was in the summer and I had to wear, I wore a long hat to try to, you know, like, cover my fucking eyebrows. And we were down, down Seaside Heights with my mother. My mother, she's like, what the fuck did you do? And then I had to tell her what happened. Old were you at that sign?

We were like 16, 7 days. Push that mic closer. like 16 or 17, something like that, yeah. How long did the hat trick last? Like, did it last a couple days? You know what? It was, uh, it was on a, it was on a weekend in Seaside Heights and, uh, like my mother, like in the summer wearing a hat, you know, I was like all the way down and she's like,

what the hell are you doing? And, and then I had, you know, I had the show. And then, you know, I was with my Aunt Jeanette and then my cousins were there. And, you know, then I, you know, then I was. I looked kind of, I look more fucked up than I am now, you know, at that point. It's crazy because I met you through a guy named Kurti Lorenzo's past, loved them like a brother, so did you. Yeah, yeah. And then you introduced me to Louis Castellito, probably sophomore year.

And I would hang out with my usual buddy's gland and all those crazy lunatics. While I'm one of the tastes of the wild side, it was these motherfuckers. And we also had a fifth member of the Beatles in those days. He would come in and out of our lives. And his name was Darren Rago. Yes, right. And that would be the fucking Cherry or Renee Cantero, aka Dedi.

I mean, when you put us all together, it was not a, looking back at it, it was like a fucking a powder keg. But I remember, I mean, listen, you got to remember one thing, that I had lost my mother, like six months before I started, Like I knew you guys, but before I started hanging out with that circle,

I lost my mother. And at night, the pain would be out of control. And I tell you guys, I come around, I talk to you guys still, because I don't know the magic that you guys had. It would take my pain away. The three, four hours, whether it was you, Dennis, Conti, you know, that was my escape, was you guys. It was drugs and you motherfuckers.

And whatever went down in between. Like, I remember taking double-barrel sunshine with you. Me, you, maybe Kurt. And that's, this is how long it did. We went to see Apocalypse now at the Fairview Cinema. Like just tripping our boy. And I remember Marlon Brando's face was melting. You know, you're a fucking 15, 16-year-old kid.

This is why he's drawing pictures of me. Like, I look like I got AIDS. And I'm fucked up. We were taking ass to the fucking 15, John. You were a fucking state chain And you would take acid And then rub garlic on the armpits Whenever you wrestled

People that stunk worse than you To make sure I stunk, yeah Yeah That's fucking like this is all the shit That comes back to me I remember that time And then I remember us going to see a midnight movie In Fairview

Now granted None of us had mommies and daddies That drove us around No This was all by foot And it was all mescal and based Nick's pizza and alcohol that's all we fueled this shit with

because we always stopped at Knicks and tortured that motherfucker for a few minutes got a slice on the arm you still owe me money you fuck you know the whole thing and then we walk you know what's crazy I look at that distance from there to Fairview

and it's like 18 miles we used to walk that 18 minutes yeah I was parking shit right up to the I don't know the math heads up to What, brother? You're driving 60 miles an hour.

Like, we would be walking and talking and giggling and fucking walking with our backs. No Ubers. No Ubers. No, no fucking cars. None of us had cars. No. Oh, that's none of us. Everything was on fucking foot.

But I remember one night we got there in Rocky, it was, they had two movie theaters. They had the Rocky Horror Picture Show and maybe Led Zeppelin. The sorry May is the same. And there's a line from here. to the fucking corner and then it cut over to the, where I bought the bathing suit in 1998, whatever, that little fucking store there. I still got that bathing suit, $4 on sale.

It's still the best bathing suit I ever bought. In Fairview, New Jersey, and a dollar fucking store. You still wear it? I still bust it out from time to time. I would like to see that. Oh, yeah, it's just a blue thing with yellow stripes. So, love to say it. There's a fucking line.

We're dripping on acid. And we get to this line and we're like, you know what? We ain't standing on this fucking line. And my brother here, there's a Carvel next to the fucking thing. And it was open until midnight, maybe 11.30. But before we're going to stand in line, we see the cone upside down on the ledge. There's a little ledge where people put their cigarettes out and shit. There's a cone upside down.

And there's a few ants by it. I go, Crowley, if we're going to cut in this line, you've got to eat that fucking ice cream. and then we started in, we believe in the fucking turk. They couldn't get enough of that. Fucking. This motherfucker.

Picks up the ice cream cone and starts eating in front of the people in the line. They're like, ew, ew, whoop, we just got right in there. The movie theater open, we go right in. Again, we sit down. We're in the back. They're yelling.

There's a fucking, this is Cliffside, North Bergen, Fairview. These are all these fucking towns. Again, it's a powder cake. And they're yelling or whatever. Like, Crowley, go up to the front, straighten these fucking people out. This motherfucker, where do you think I got the idea to do stand-up and movie theater? Do you think I invented that?

This guy did it in 1981, maybe. And he just walked into the front. And he goes, can I have your attention, please? And dog, somebody started yelling. Some of the guy goes, no, no, no, let him speak. He's the dude who ate the ice cream gone. I have to be honest, I've heard about you for your years. For years.

That story is... Probably. I met, you know, every night I would go, what the fuck is, how did I grow up like that? John Cros. And when you tell that to something... I fucked you up. Oh, my God. And when you tell somebody that shit,

they look at you and go, you know, where'd you grow up? Ritartville? No, we grew up where there was a heart. There was a heartbeat. I got... Another time we were at a party, and there was a chandelier.

I think we did acid, and somebody was playing Bruce Springsteen and somebody ate the album. Like, you weren't allowed to fucking play Springsteen. They're like born to run. Somebody picked it up and cracked it in half. And then somebody put Pink Floyd ducks out of the moon on. And it's that,

dun, before taking away the moments that they make up the dull day. And it's going through all that pre-stuff. Boom, boom. And Crowley puts his hand up. Everybody's looking at Crowley goes, the inner light. And fucking, we just died.

Like, how do you still remember this after fucking 40 years? Because I was going through hell at that time. And you guys would say shit that would just put me on the other planet. How about quintessence? Remember quintessence? Quintessence. Well, here's the thing. The disco on tunnel, remember?

Yeah, but here's the thing. I boycotted quintessence. I never went to quintessence. Do you fucking, no, I didn't. I never felt to put, never to my mother's grave, to my daughter, because I stood by it, I will never fucking go to that club. I'm a corkies guy.

And if I'm going to snort Coke, it's going to be in a hotel. I'm not going to go down. there with fake fucking DJs and dog that's how solid I was even then I guess I was a little screwed that up that yeah no we went listen you weren't screwed probably we hung out tough let's get rid of the ADD and the fucking shots we got to the head and life we hung out tough proudly with Kurt from maybe 79 to the time you guys graduated high school you graduated 81 maybe 8080 and then I maybe saw you a year after that I was with you when fucking Bon Scott died.

We took a head of acid. It was snowing out. And we were walking by Vineris, and there used to be a tree there. Right across Marlaya Libra, and there was a sign that said, like, the road is closed or something. And Crowley says,

I got to take a piss. And he just got on the tree. He started pissing, and he started going like this. And the cars are going this way. And you can see people like, you know, you can't write this shit.

You cannot, you cannot. You don't understand. We tricked. Were you with us tonight? We all did ask it again. And on the way home, this motherfucker, it just rained.

It was one of those Jersey rainstorms. It just fucking rained. And we're walking and we're getting close to the diner where George had the hardware store. We're getting close to Fairview diner, whatever it was at the time. We're walking. We're close to Robinson Anton,

where they fucking make the thread, okay? and we're walking and Kurt keeps me, you and Louie are looking at each other This is cold-blooded. Lee, you ain't the first one who suffered. Don't think you're a martyr here. Who called me a martyr and I am aware that there's another one of us here What years were used in service?

No, this guy, we were like dice. We did the fucking. Okay, we did the fucking in those days. So Kurt was a smart guy fucking, you know, and me and Louis look at each other. I'm like, Lou, you hear that? He goes, no. We either did it to Kurt or to Louis. I think we did it to Louis.

We're like, Louis, you hear that? And Louis's like, no, I don't hear nothing. And Kurt's like, come on, Louis. You don't hear that fucking siren? And Louis's like, no. And he's like, come on, Louis. Jesus, and we both started going, Jesus fucking Christ. And Louis, there was a puddle on the middle of the street.

he just bent to his knees and started throwing water in his face. He just got drenched. And he's like, I don't fucking hear it. And he just tore his ass home. We didn't see him till the next week, the next day. Like that type of shit. And there's a thaw. We went to see Nazareth.

Oh, yeah, that's right. We went to see Nazareth at the fucking Palladium, June 6th. And also Ozzy with, what's his name? At the Palladium. We went to see Ozzy. Yeah. What do you think you? you're dealing with motherfuckers?

So, I don't know if you remember, I got ripped and I, uh, we, I, I, I, I asked the bouncer, I remember, I asked the bouncer to, uh, I said, you know, when they started playing Mr. Crowley. So I, I, I said, I'm Mr. Crowley. And they're like the, I'm, you know, we're ripped, of course. You had your ID and shit out. So I had my ID. And I'm trying to, I'm saying, I'm Mr. Crowley.

They're singing my song, right? So then the bouncer just get the fuck, you know, get the fuck out of here. And then I threw my license as far as it can go. I don't know where I landed. So to this day, I don't know where I might will have it to my license. I still remember going, where's fucking Rowley? And they're like, he's going over there to tell him that. And I'm like, whatever.

At this point, what, fuck. I mean, that's how deep we were. We were. I got ripped that night, man. Ripped. Ripped. Did you go with us to Philly to see Black Sabbath with Ronnie James Dio when Rago took the purple quailudes?

No, I think I missed that one. This mother, we go to a Burger King, like a stop at a random. And this motherfucker comes on. He goes, look, guys, there's a guy in there he's got purple acid. It was like fucking marshmallows. Like, the guy had marshmallows. He made him purple, and then he froze him. And I go, Raygo, knock it all.

We just ate masking. We got everything. We got methons. We got it all. He's like, no, I really want to do this type of acid. Okay. He does the two fucking things. Nobody else eats it.

And Ray, he's your tripping. Not yet, not yet, but it's gonna work. We're like in the sixth row. Where's Raygo? He's fucking sleeping. He's out. We had to pick him up, put him in the car. The next day, he's like, I don't know what happened last night.

I go, yeah, he bought purple lutes. I did not. So 20 years later, whenever he would get out of control, I go, dog, I don't know if you remember, you're the one that ate the purple lutes, and he would still, fuck you, Coco, you walk at home. He would still get pissed. Yeah, too bad what happened on him, man, geez. But I just want people to understand the guys you were wrestling with.

You had Perry's locking. I was just talking about the other day. I seen Paul beating on four motherfuckers on Kenny Boulevard one night, a week before Christmas by at Pizza Parlor by Louis Castletos out. It was a running back, rotundi. He had a fight with, Four dudes. I can't mention their name.

Fucked them up. Because they made up a story that they ran into 20 Puerto Rican and they got mugged. No, no, no. It was Rolndi. It was Perry's Locken, killing him.

Mueleta, all four of them. They showed up a week later with fucking arm braces and shit. Yeah, we got jumped by Spicks in the city. It was two in the morning. I was walking by. I might have been fucked up,

but I hit in the corner. I'm like, what the fuck is Perry doing? Blah! Blah! Yum, yum, for everybody. You had Diti? You had Red. You, Haley, God rest is so.

Bertie Lorenzo got rest of the soul. Dead! Anyway. I don't know. You had Brian Haley somewhere. He just passed away a few weeks. The younger... I don't remember. Well, Bob, I think Bob was the older brother. The one we went to Kennedy's school with. Bob. Bob. Yeah, Bob. What's the one I ran with in Kennedy's school?

Glenn. Glenn. What was the name? Glenn. A couple of weeks ago. Three weeks ago. Glenn? Glenn. Glenn. Glenn. Glenn. Oh, shit. Robert was the old one. So, Ra, okay.

No, I heard, yeah, I heard one of them died. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I still remember being at one of your wrestling matches at the high school, we would go see him. Who the fuck didn't go see Crowley? You went to see Crowley, Calangelo, Calendrillo, you went, you just went, and you drank a fucking shitload of booze before you walk in high school. And the teachers would see you and go, Jesus Christ. But I still remember walking in and being fucked up and looking over it.

and looking over to the corner and seeing Mr. T and thinking I was cool and opening up like a winter jacket and going, and I had like a half pint of Southern comfort. And I thought I was cool and I go, T's. And he's like, and he opened up his jacket. And he just looked, he closed the jacket, and he goes, and he just stood there in the corner. That's how that high school was on a fucking Friday night.

The teacher was already boozing. And then it was on. You watched a wrestling match. And after the wrestling matches, it was on. It was every man from myself. Nobody wanted to go home. Quayludes, gorilla biscuits, whatever we eat, those black beauties. I used to get in East Brunswick, East Strasbourg, East Strasbourg, New York.

Oh, yeah? Me and another friend of us used to take her ride on Saturdays. Were you there when we wrestled Fort Lee and had the big riot? I think I was junior or senior. when I, uh, because, uh, I said I was, I don't know if you remember, like, so the, uh, Fawley High School, they brought, um, they were our arch rivals, right? So, uh, I, I said when I'm, like, they interviewed me because I got an athlete of the week or something, right?

So I said, I'm going to wear like an executioner's mask, right? For, for, you know, when we wrestled, right? So then I, I, so when we run out to, you know, like the warm up, you know, war, you And then all the, all the Fort Lee guys, they threw out, like, nooses. Because they were, you know, right? So then that match, when I, when I wrestled Bojanovic, right? I wound up, I grabbed his arm like this, and he landed with his hand like this. And this bone went through his, you know, he landed really hard.

And this bone went through there. And all fucking blood was on the fucking mat. And his fucking brother, his brother came on the mat and, you know, was trying to fight me. And then there was a fucking huge fight. There was like a riot. You don't remember that night? Or maybe you didn't go to that night.

That was a fucking crazy night when we fought later. Stop coming all that shit in those days. All I remember is it was, you know, fighting and everything. It was a crazy night that night. I mean, yeah, night we went to dinner with Eggersie and Carlos Rodriguez. And we were talking about the night we played these stories. and lit the bus on fire. You know,

kids wouldn't even fucking understand that. Crazy, right? It's crazy, right? There's a bus on fire. They just lit it on fire. We had to wait there. The good old days. JV. or somebody.

And these buses had no air conditioner. They barely had brakes. They barely have fucking breath. Those yellow North Bergen buses had no air conditioner. Oh, you froze your fucking ass off in that shit. So why did they let it on fire? Because they're Patterson Eastside. because they're savages.

Oh, the other team did it? The fucking area, East, whatever the fuck. Okay. In that town, you don't leave your car out like that in the 80s. It wasn't like, you know, hold on to the keys, Mr. Valet, man. Not much better now. No, it's not much better now. They fucking lit the bus on fire.

That's, you know, and you tell that to something like that never happen. All right, and that happened. I was fucking there. I was there. I was on that team. I'll never forget, like, you had to get home to make out with a chick to get an eight-pack. And we were stuck at this fucking thing. Because the bus was on fire.

I'd bring another bus. We had a ride back with varsity or whatever the fuck it was. So where'd you go to college, John? One year of Bergen community. Yeah, one year. And then that was pretty, pretty fun. I went to, you know what the fucked up thing is? Like in the, I remember in the, you know, I was good in high school,

wrestling, right? So, like, when I was a senior, took second in the state. Then I go to the college, and I, like, I was out of shape, you know, like, in the summer, you know, your party, your ass off. I go to fucking college and I'm like, I lose, like, my first few matches. I was like, and everybody else is winning, right? And then by the end of the season, then, you know, I kind of caught, you know, caught myself back up, you know, got back in shape. Oh, and then, well, yeah, like, Also, I broke, what is it, a cartilage removal or something like that. So I don't know. So, and then, so then we went, when we went to the, you know, I made it to the nationals, you know, for the wrestling.

And then I think it was, I lost second round, right? So we had to come back home, right? So I remember, like, a party in that night, right? You know what? you know what they did for fun out in Minnesota? We went cow tipping. Fucking got, you know, we had like a, you know, everybody, I guess, who lost, right? You know, everybody who lost that night in the wrestling tournament,

we had a big, you know, big party in the, in the hotel. And then all got drunk and we went fucking cow tipping, man. It was fucking great. You know, pretty fun. You ever go cow tipping? No. You got to try it, man. Yeah, yeah, I'm going to leave next week.

I'm going to take an adventure to the Cowlland and go fucking Countdown. Yeah, man. Anybody, you know, so you got to try a caltip. You know. How did you end up back in Jersey? What? When did you end up back in Jersey? When the, oh, oh, we wound up like one or two days.

The coach told us, you know, we were, I didn't stay for the finals there, you know, so. And so I had to come back. Back to, you know, Primus, that was a Bergen Community College. And then what did you do? Would you graduate? Because I haven't fucking seen you. No, no.

What happened was I was dating a young lady and she got pregnant. And I had a son. And I got married. And so I have a 42-year-old son now. What did you do for a living, all of you? Oh, I did a lot of different things. a lot of different things, you know. And then...

Did no coke? No, no. You didn't do a lot of different fucking things. No, but what I do now... No, what I do... No, what I do now is... I'm on OnlyFans. Okay.

Yeah, so... Just your feet or your dick and everything. No, I'm Johnny Jizz. Yeah, so I... I... No, I... I got to make a living, so I ejaculate on women's underwear and shirt. I don't want whether to stop this podcast or just call 911.

Johnny Jiz. Is this real? Johnny Jizz, yeah. I mean, got to make a, to ask, pay is good, man. What do you make a month over there? You don't mind this asking. You can just, you know what I'm saying? Well, I make money doing the, you know, the,

Johnny Jizz, it's like I have to ejaculate on women's stuff, right? And then, and then on my website afterwards, I auction off the panties. I'm just fucking with you, man. I wish you were doing this. Oh, you should have kept going with it because people love Johnny Jizz.

People want to know who Johnny's. You never know. I was trying it out. Yeah, this is a good idea. I'm going to go with it now. No, you do it with your wrestling mask. From the 80s. No, the executioner's mask. You do that.

That's it. I know you're heavily into music and you started doing fucking art like before COVID and you're like a fucking Picasso. Fun. You're a man of a lot of fucking dimension. A lot of dementia. Oh, that's nice.

No, no, no. I remember somebody who told me they saw you. This is the last rowley siding. It might be real or it might be fake. Somebody said they saw you work in construction. I'm like 85, 80, you want to scaffold something. In 80s, yeah, sure. Okay, that was right.

That's the last legal report. Yeah, well, I used to be in construction. And you always stayed in my heart because of all the comedy you brought into my heart when I needed it. Good, good, good. The time you ran around the Luli feel naked and slid into home.

Yep, that's brilliant. Fucking brilliant. I was there. I saw it with my own eyes. I mean, Crowley was just doing shit. Like, listen, man. In those days, I look at kids now and they go to school and like, I asked my daughter, how was it today?

That fucking school sucks, right? When we went to school, bro, you know, we were talking about Nick's grandfather outside. We went to school. We didn't go to school because we wanted to go to school. We went to school for certain people. Like for me, I couldn't wait to get into school and hear what Mr. Teranova said. Like, if you had Mr. Teranova in the fifth period, By the third period, he had already insulted somebody.

And it was already in the airways. Did you hear what Mr. T told that Indian shit? No, he didn't. You know what I'm saying? Like, it was always something. Like, if it wasn't him, it was Dennis always had a story of from what happened before. But number three, strong was this guy.

Like, this guy, I knew that I couldn't miss school because not what was going to happen in school. I was going to be anyway. It was what we were going to do after. school. And you never knew. In those days, you went to first period, because I used to take the CIA work study program. So I would go to first period. As long as I took those, and it was two, you stayed in there for 730 and 945. Then you went to home room. At the home room, all bets were off at North Bergen in those days. And it could be anything. We used to go, I know for a couple

times, me and Dennis went in Mr. McGrath's car when he used to fucking be the driver ed teacher, and the Massey Cadillac gave him two fucking Cadillacs with the pedals and shit. Oh my God, that was like you went to school. You signed up together. It would be him, Valano, your uncle, and Perry Vigiano. And it started with, they would go to Chan's parking lot. And then they would stop it like a little before Chance

and then a chance and you would rotate. So everybody would get eight minutes behind the wheel. Then it started nice and easy. Mr. McGrath, come on, chance is open. You think we're going to go in there, a stick on a stick? Jesus fucking cry. And then it started with the steak on a stick

and two bags of stick on it. Then there was a liquor store up there. After about a month, these motherfuckers talked them into getting a six-bags. We'll drink two beers and go back. What? Two beers at 10 of the morning. Why?

It just didn't matter. And Mr. McGrath would be driving back fucking furious at these motherfuckers. I'll never forget. I got one day I was Mr. Graff in that car, and we were on 39th in Bergen line. In that school car.

It was like 3.30 in the afternoon. He goes, take a ride of me. I got on the car with him. He didn't know what I had. I had one of those double-barrow shotguns with the spoon at the end, and you put the Coke in and put it and sniff it. Jeez. We're about to cross the Carvel Street, the bottom of the barrel. We're about to head to New York Avenue. And he goes to turn the car into park and the car stalls.

This McGrath is losing. He's, too, tut, tut, tut, tut, and I'm like, this is a good time for a blast. Now, I'll never forget putting it in there. He did not see nothing. I just put it in there, and I put the thing to my nose, and I went, and he looked at me, and he goes, he goes, the car is stalled,

and you want to do a line of Coke? Do I need this in my life? That's all he said, though. And some guy told him to move the car after that. Like, he was going to go, fuck you! And he's like, did you see what you get to? He was fucking on fire when I did the Coke. Like, he didn't not know how to handle it in those days.

Then you had that scumbag, the stage crew, that sold weed. When we were kids, the stage crew, Mr. Perlman, Mr. Pullman? Pullman. That motherfucker did not like me. And I used to bust his balls all the time. He hated me. Then I found out he sold weed from Hawaii to everybody.

He would sell it to tip, and I used to torture him. When am I getting my end on the weed? Because I'm not, I have the mailman at your house with the DEA. I used to fuck. He hated me. That motherfucker. I mean, this is like a real high school. It was fun, man.

I loved it. I loved going to high school. And then you had those other lunatics. You went a different world with the Tabuccinos. That's a complete different world. We would be getting out of basketball. We were just fucking drilled for two hours. You look by the stairs and you see these motherfuckers with, you know,

heavy artillery on running up and down. Downstairs. Getting whipped, you know. How hot was it down there? Two thousand fucking degrees down there in that basement. And we always have to lose weight. Yeah, everybody. We'd always wear sweating our asses off, sometimes lose 10 pounds, sometimes more the day before, you know, 10 pounds. You know, 10 pounds overweight and you got to work late and not drink.

That's when I came in with those black beauties and shit. A hundred for $30. Forget about it. Fucking these motherfucking. I'd see him on the weekend. And you gotta get me more those fucking things. But we all hung out, like the groomies. I still remember them.

Another guy that was a wrestler that I put in my book because he was so fucking, like I hung out with him behind the scenes. One of the dirtiest fucking people, North Bergenera produced. Mike Denny. Mike Denny. The devil. You know what?

I was down with, I did down the shore with him, right? I think I was a junior. Crystal meth. And we were, I, like, I,

I think this was the only time I did it. It was, uh, I, I felt, I felt like I was just, I was, I felt like was floating,

really. It was crazy. But I was like, I was, but, Bristol meth hit around that time. That's 80, 881.

79. Yeah, I think it was, I'm pretty sure it was in high school or maybe. Yeah, yeah, because I bought it at Metallands in. Yeah.

Christmas Eve. No. The night before Christmas Eve, I bought a gram of speed, $65. Yeah, it was crazy. And I did it the next morning at school, and I lost my fucking mind. I'm like, right? So, yeah, that was the only time I ever did. You know, I didn't really, I thought about all you guys for a long time.

And then it must have been like when I went to prison, I was lonely in a cell one day. And fucking Mike Denny came up. And I started hanging out. with Mike lightly before my mother died. And then once my mother died, like maybe six months later, his parents had a, his father had a ship. When a ship docked, they had barnacles on the ship and things leaks and things were busting. So Mike Denny's father were 20 guys to go on that ship.

They were union. They made good dough, dog. And they would fucking, you know, clean everything and put new parts and whatever. Mike Denny, when I was like a freshman, would call me at night and go, I'll pick you up. Where are we going? We're going to this place, the dock somewhere. Like Newark or something?

And we'd be there and he'd be stealing. He would steal the plumbing and everything that was getting delivered to the job for his father's job. And he would do this once a fucking week. Like he knew when the big things were coming in, like the holes. I don't know what the fuck you call them, guys. I'm no Gilligan. I just know that we were getting like fucking 800.

a thing for those, maybe nine, and he'd give me like 50 bucks. I had to carry him, I'd be sweating, and then he beat you at every level. Like there was three of them, that means you got 150. And then you went to the city, and you had to go where he bought him. And the package you gave you was always light,

and you always ended up buying $30 extra for his package. He'd talk you into it. This guy was like a fucking devil. And I hung with him for about a year, and we did the creepiest fucking shit. Like, it was always something, with theft or beating somebody for drugs, or he was always up to something. And then one night we went to see Erosmith.

I'm mind to it. It could have been Erosmith or it couldn't have been the B-52s. And it was New Year's Eve, and we came back from the city on the bridge. And we hit Kennedy Boulevard. And as we were passing south, that pizza parlor on the right, where I tell you guys to go eat pizza, on the, on the, on the, going north and on the county Boulevard, Roma, we saw something. We saw like smoke.

I was tripping my balls off, guys. Mike Denny had the RX-7, the Mazda RX-7 at the time. And we're fucking driving back. And I see smoke. And it's somebody's tires. And dog, when we pull up, these people had clocked that pole in front of a regs

by the Gammeo's house. and it was a small car and it had gone into the pole straight so the pole came through to the windshield the dew was dead like he was bleeding everywhere

and the chick was yelling and I'll never forget being on acid and getting there and like walking towards the car scared because my mother had just died that's how I found my mom a master I'm not gonna see some more fucking death and as I remember walking close

then the fire department came. They would get out of the car. No, they were like, get out of the way, get out of the way. I got scared. And they had to get on top of the car to see. And the steam was coming out of the fucking engine. It was just scary, guys. And I remember he was like saying, alcohol.

And that night I made a constant fucking decision, but I'm not drinking and driving. And I never did. From that night. But on the way home, I go, every time I'm with this guy, I see bad luck. That's the end of this relationship. He's the devil.

And that's why he used to call him the devil. He was the fucking devil. That's, yeah. Well, he wrestled. You know, he wrestled. So that's, so that's how, you know, I think it was doing high, you know, it was so long ago.

I think it was doing high school, maybe right after when we did this down the shore. And then, and then out, you know, that I was it. You know, hung out a few more times. That might have been. I loved them. That might have been the last time I hung up.

That motherfucker. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I loved him to death. His brother had the chick that would suck your dick anywhere. Remember? Jimmy had no teeth, but he had long hair, and he walked around with a guitar, and he made believe he was Jimmy Page. And he bumped into this chick that would just suck dick.

And she was good-looking. She'd be at the high school, and guys would say, let's suck dick and whatever. She blew 22 guys one night right on Kelly Boulevard. Marathon woman. She sucked like it. I was not there. You know when you're 16 and you want your dick sucking no and ever? And also next day at school, it's all over the airwaves.

Fucking Marathon woman sucked 22 dicks last night. You're like, God damn it, I usually walk by that street. That's the only night I walked on tunnelie, motherfucker. Wasn't your night. What do you remember from all that shit, man, all those years? Fun, oh, yeah. Sadness. I mean.

I loved high school. was great. High school was great. It's fun, man. Then looked forward going to high school all the time, you know, so much, so much, so much fun. I remember walking to Albert Tennis,

peeling a beer across the street from Hudson County. I never stole anything. Yes, you did, you did, you know. There was no security. You could just walk in there at 930. And the lady would go, hey, where are you going? I'll be back.

Call Vennie. call Benny. He'll tell you what's going on. I remember, yeah, high school was fun, though, but I remember one time, I don't know if you, I don't know if you were there,

but on this one day, I hung, I shit in a plastic bag, right? So I tied it up, right? Then I tied a string to a locker. So I remember Raygo, you know,

Darren Raygo, was fucking hysterical, right? So I hung it, I hung it on a locker, right, from one of the top lockers. And Dorn, doing like, what is it? The changing of classes, right?

People are all looking at me, Raygo, I don't know if you were there, but people started squeezing it. To see, what was this? They say if it was clay? What the fuck is this? So, oh, that was so funny. And people are, you know, like squeezing my shit,

you know, excusing my shit to see if it was clay. That was fucking great. What great were you in? Senior. I, that was a, I think it was a, junior or senior with that one with that frank that was that was one of the better ones that was that was a lot of fun yeah so that that's what that's to go to go to school and that was fun man who did you date in those

days june well when i was a senior no no actually that was uh uh Rita kifiero uh don't remember Rita kifiero uh sweet girl uh girl rosan And she was very nice, you know, all nice young ladies. And, uh, uh, uh, Angel Farronola. Angel Farronola.

Yeah. Wow. Farron. Oh, yes. She had a brother Lenny? Yes. Yeah. Lenny Ferran.

Yes. I went to, we went to the prom. I went to the, I went to the senior prom. Yeah. You're a fucking trip, brother. Yeah.

So, actually, the best. Yeah. But yeah, I didn't see you after like 82 maybe. By 81, we lost contact. We're here now. We're here now. Yeah, but I was always tight with Kurt and his family.

I mean, today, Chris called me from Costa Rica to thank me for tickets I left for Tommy Kenny. Tommy Kenny was one of the Irish people that hung out of Kurt D.O. Angeles and I was back in the day. And so that's funny. What's he doing in Costa Rica? Getting his dick sucked. You know anything about him.

Well, he's on vacation, then. He goes to Costa Rica every six weeks now. Oh, yeah? Him and Eugene. You remember Eugene his buddy. He had the auto body shop. They're still fucking friends. And now they go to, I think Eugene killed his wife or something.

She was found drowning or something. I don't know. It happens. I don't know what happened. And they go to Costa Rica. And I guess... Maybe I know Eugene. Chris made a girl down there.

Oh, yeah? And he wants to get a passport. He's trying out. I told him. It's like, you know, ice is all over the place. And you're trying to get a passport for a fucking, you know, Chilean refugee or whatever the fuck is going on there. I was in Costa, you know what? Before my daughter was, actually, Costa Rica,

before my daughter was born, that was our last, before, you know, my wife sounded like seven months pregnant, eight months pregnant. That was the last, you know, when she was pregnant, that was a, we had to go, that was our last time. We can go before she had, you know, before it gave birth. So it was in Costa Rica. It was very nice.

It was first and only time there. It was nice, very nice. Sound like fun. It was great. The fuck, probably. You don't like nobody on fire. I did. We did like somebody.

You still think about Kurt? Of course, yeah. What are you thinking? You know, I got together with him and Louis. In Florida. In Florida. What year? 15, 20 years ago.

It was a mess. Yeah. We had, it was, it was nice to see that. No, it was nice. Always. I haven't, well, that was like 15 to 20 years ago. And then before that, I haven't seen him in 15, 20 years. You know, I get, you know, we used to stay in touch every once in a while.

I always ask. Every once in a while, I talk to Louis and, you know. Yeah, we talk every once in a while. I haven't seen him a long time. But, you know, like everybody's busy, you know. He's tabbed a lot of, I remember me and Louis used to go to his house and do coke, and Rago would knock on the door. We were going out, letting Rago in.

Because Rago never showed up with a 20. You can't, you got to cut, you know, we were fucking in high school. I can't keep laying out 25 and 25, and now I'm giving you, because one line turns into four, and what the fuck are we robbing for? You know what I'm saying? Like, I was working at a lumberyard. I don't know what fucking, you know, I don't know what Louis was doing. I was working at Rendell Lumber

down on Town of the Avenue right where the Dunkin' Donuts is right now next to Guy Donned across the street. That was the North Bergen fucking, if you knew anybody in North Bergen, you just went in there, I need a door,

put it on the arm. Paul Joe Marco, Steve Marco, they got everything covered. All the Maccos. In fact, you don't even need to call them. Just Marco. That's it. That's the five-digit confirmation code.

Just write that down. You know, Peter's doing a, You know, Peter Maccaway. Yeah. Does a lot of, he's, you know, probably a billionaire. Yeah.

He's been buying shit since we were. He was the mayor. He's building all in Jersey City. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Did he take the sand bar? Yeah.

Yeah. I was down there. I met him down there. He was sitting at the bar together. He looked at the bed. Oh, yeah? I know he'd be. My.

How long? You bet. Oh, my. He just gave me to grin. How long you've been out of jail? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. My father used to be his, a committee man.

You know, he was, yeah, my father was big in politics for a little while. And then he was, my father was his right-haired man for a while. And then he was the local, yeah, he was the committee man. and we campaign for Marco. Put that microphone closer. Yeah, he used to campaign. Speaking to the mic. Speak it to the mic, babe.

And then I remember my father got all, like, I remember my father told me the story. Like he was, my father was given a speech. And he's like, these cock suckers and all that. You know, something, unlike something with you would say. So, and then my father said, yeah, John, you got a tone down, you know, I told my father. You know, you're good excited, but you can't say cock sucker.

Now, was your dad down by Kennedy? He was a committee man down there? Yeah, down, yeah. We lived on 9th Street, you know. You know, I was just thinking about another wrestling story. We used to buy, you know, when we were younger, we experimented with a lot. This is just to let you know the depth of the wrestling team

and my relationship. And this guy was a state champion. You had Renee Cantero, who was a fucking animal when he was a sophomore. First time I saw Renee, he was beating Gizzy up. But not Charlie, the brother, banging his head off a fucking metal bumper in front of fucking five corners. I'm like, that's my guy right there. He was 15, maybe. He was 15 fucking teen.

And the other brother of mine that I had from wrestling was Jimmy Labrano. That motherfucker was a savage, too. Yeah, LeBron. Both of them. I think both of them, right. Mike and Jimmy. But me and Jimmy used to do crazy shit, you know, like, we were the ones that... That's North Bergen.

We didn't tell people we were doing. Like, him and I had a pack. Like, we just, there was shit we did that. We didn't want anybody else to know because they would have a heart attack. So, me and Jimmy bought a $10 bag of T.C. Crystal from 22nd Street and New York Avenue, that bar crossed the street from the funeral. Paula, that used to be a hot fucking bar dog. You get shot in their stab, but you get everything you wanted right in the heart of Union

City. And we would go down there like on a Tuesday night and buy a $10 back. And we would do like two little keys and be fucked up and saved the rest for school. And that's Gumby Dust. Guys, that's Gumby Dust. There ain't no coming back. So we did it after school and he forgot. He had a wrestling match.

Tell him to tell you this story. tell you tonight, because he's right around the corner. George will take you to see him. Fucking, uh, he was wrestling. I guess the kid did something to him, flipped him, and almost beat him with this move. And Jimmy was so fucking ah, he just bit the motherfucker. He just bit him and got disqualify.

And afterward, he came up to me and pushed me because of you. You gave me that shit, I forgot. How can you forget? You're in a fucking wrestling match. But it got out. Somebody said something, Jimmy wasn't acting normal. I remember like three people came and talked to us and said, what the fuck are you guys doing?

Because we were at a different level. I still remember us being sophomores and doing Coke in Mr. Zink's class. Fuck does that. You got to be a fucking animal. Yes. Like pass the bag to each other. And then Mr. Zink, if you looked at his back, he had snots on his back.

Because every day I walk the snout on his fucking back. And he wore the jacket every fucking day. That's insane. It's insane how we grew up. But I'm grateful. I don't give a fuck what anybody says. I've had arguments of people. And they've had judgment about how we grew up.

And they said, we're liars and shit. We just grew up on a different fucking planet, man. It was a different fucking planet. I bumped into a guy the other night at Uncle Vinnie's. What a fuck? It took me to see the stone. and foreigner when I was in the eighth grade. Like I just graduated.

And then gave me a hit of acid. He was with Vinnie Lynch. They gave me a hit a window pain acid. Who does that to an eighth grader? Welcome to North Bergen, motherfuckers. You want to party with the big boys. I remember that we had a hotel room and I wouldn't leave. I wouldn't, I didn't want to go out there.

And when I walked into that Philadelphia stadium, I almost died. And foreigner was on stage. And that's what kind my nerves. You're as cold as ice. I don't know if I ever got the C-Far They opened for the stones Oh yeah, yeah You know, a long fucking time ago

There was the, maybe that first album Yeah, it had to be their first album Yeah, because the other one wasn't out yet That's Dun-Tun-Tun-Dun-Dun-Dun-Dun That's War of the Worlds and all that shit You do me a favorite nephew number one And you get John Crowley's beautiful artworks Where he could show America

And put him towards John Crowley's Instagram So he could sell some of his fucking art Sure. John, you know how I do it, play. Put it between you guys. Johnny Jizz. Johnny Jiz. Look at this beautiful picture.

Look at this, ladies and gentlemen. This is John Crowley's impersonation of me. Shut up. Interpretation. What happened was, and this is a beautiful thing. He looked at a picture of me at the Stress Factory in Jersey, but in his mind he remembered me looking. That's why I looked like a.

82. Mouth open. Coke coming out of left nostril. All fucked up, beady eyes, looking at your wallet, looking at your gold chain. And you're welcome. You're going to sign it for me, John Crowley, aka Johnny Jizz. You know what? You see the shiny coating on here? I just on it. Okay. There you go. I'm just kidding. Ooh, tremendous. Two ammonia. Yes. This is beautiful, brother. You're a true fucking artist. You're free. What happened to the other arm? Well, I took it from a picture on the internet.

Okay. And so it came out pretty good. We're hanging in the studio or in my home. What are you suggest, John? Well, you... This studio is so nice. I mean, it's wherever you want it. We'll put it at the studio.

Wherever you, I think it's a studio piece. Yeah. This is a love the studio, dude. It's really nice. Really cool. Uncle George designed everything. He's the master planning. It's really nice. When George retires, I'm going to try that. We're going to become partners on the theater. And George's going to be the artistic art director. That's what he does. No, it's about, yeah. He's done a great job with this. That's for the drums. That's the only thing. I still can't figure out why the drums are here. And a bicycle from 1922, you know.

Oh, you've been riding the bike of us? Yeah, every day. You got to see me. You know, the stairs, I ride down the stairs. Oh, yeah. Like pooky, you're fucking New Jack. Do we have two seconds before we have to go? Yeah, just in case.

All right. Do we have two seconds to tell one story from this weekend? Where are you unfortunate? Every fucking time I leave here, and I look to the left and I see the drum kit. I don't even say now, I didn't. I just go, you know what? It's George, but hit it, Lee. Give him the story.

I just, it was. was a great end to the weekend, but the one thing I was worried about was like, because Joey will leave people. He's, like, the first time it took me anywhere, he warned me. Because you write, you remind me on the plane. You had a, oh, like a ramp it up sort of like. Rap it up. So, like, I never left, like, I went to the comedy store a thousand times. So, like, like, no one performed because I would see, no, I did one person before you, you'd get up and then you'd walk directly to the car. And so I was ready to go. But then as we, like, as we were leaving, someone said, George had to return a ticket. No, I got up and we're all leaving and we're walking.

I'm looking at everybody and I'm like, what the fuck? I go, where's George? And Ophusa goes, I don't know. He went to hand in a winning lottery ticket. I go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. He's been sitting here for three fucking hours. And now, everybody knew at 11 o'clock that we're leaving. now when he's the size. And again, this is George 100%. I ain't gonna be mad at him. But what George didn't know was, I'm leaving.

Okay? Like, we were by the door. If I was to look and fucking George wouldn't have been there, you would have been taking a Uber, George. And I'm sorry, but you know the rules. Wrap it up. You had all week, if it was something urgent, I could see.

But you had three hours. You were back there talking to fucking the chef and asking creepy questions. And where are you from? Who gives a fuck, George? Let's watch the register. I was going to say, it wasn't that much money.

It was like $80. I understand. And I don't want to leave $80 behind either. I can use the $80. Okay, everybody can use $80. You go fill up your tank lately? I know, but what about doing to come home? And every day, like, a little Jersey gas has been at his lowest.

$60 every time I pull in that. Every fucking time you pull in it in. And I'm cheap. I get regular. They're like, you got to put, you got to put it in your fucking car. Fucking $8 a gallon. This is regular.

This car appears been put through hell. But you have a high denser. Yeah, good. Put the fucking regular. See if it don't get me that. Fucking people. John, I want to thank you in public. And Dennis was also here for bringing a lot of laughter

to my life when I was a kid. Because I was never going to kill myself. But dog was I fucking close some days. And you and Louis and fucking, you know, fucking, we got a guy in the room, Dennis, who's been on the church before. But I remember just wanting to go to the home room. Like, if I went to a home room and Dennis wasn't in the home room, I was sad because I knew I was going to get one fucking laugh out of him.

That was going to be fucking hysterical. And my favorite one was when the teacher would go, Dennis, you weren't here for the last three days. I need a note. And he go, I'll whip one up in a second. Until this fucking day, that was, you understand, guys. In those days, those are my little victories. You know, because when you got up in the morning, you got a mom,

you reach, she ain't there. It ain't going to get no better. You know what I'm saying? Like, it don't get no better. So I still had to walk that hill and still got on that number one. That number one was your first source of entertainment. Am I lying? How many times you take the number one?

or did your dad, the councilman, drive you to fucking school? I realize, always, I had the... How many times you take that number one, Dennis? A million times. At 7 in the morning, when you went to the back, and Georgia City had the junkies that was a junk spot right next to the thing. So that was entertainment on the way up.

And then when you caught that bus on the way down after basketball practice, and the wrestlers were on the bus, and some of the track guys and some of the lifters, bro, that bus driver was always in danger. and then you drove past the blue flame and that's what the projects hung out so they would throw snowballs and spears

and fucking rocks at the buses what's up John Lee you're looking confused as a motherfucker I'm good dude how's that edible treating you you know exactly how it's treating we're going to do another one before we're going to eat some lemon

by the way let me tell you something today we have a special night we're going to do our first NFL which you guys could whatever you'll find out later. It's too late now. But we got it sponsored by Rudy's seafood up on Anderson Avenue, one of my favorite fucking restaurants where I give my loyalty to, they hooked us up with some chicken franchise and some beautiful pasta with butter. By now, it's like a little jello. You just mix that motherfucker up. You could smell the cholesterol in the air, you know what I'm

saying? It's a beautiful thing. So when you got a minute, go over to Rudy's on Clifford. As I was leaving today, some kid came up and he goes, I came here. because of you. I can't believe I bumped into you here. You made my day. You know, I'm like, hey, man, thank you for fucking coming to Rudy's. He goes, it was delicious.

I got muscles. So they're special tonight. Did you see the fucking special? Inoki with the fucking cream sauce and the peas? And they got soup. They got everything tonight. So they're back. Rudy's is back.

All right. All right. So John Crowley, what's your Instagram and website? Crowley, the artist on Instagram. Okay. Yeah. And that's for my art.

And then John the Carnivore for, I produce music, though. So we'll get to the music next time. We've got to wrap this up. Sounds good. One that I put up. But John, when you showed up to the dojo, that night, I was so happy on the ride home. Yes, it was fun. And it just made my fucking world because we went out to dinner the other night.

There's not a lot of us left. A lot of us are dead. A lot of these motherfuckers. And for me, a dentist, just to be alive. And George, Jesus fucking Christ. Lee's all right. Lee went through a little Vietnam in L.A., but he didn't go through Columbia in Vietnam.

But, John, you always welcome on the show. I love it. Thank you for having me. I'm sure before you leave, my brother will offer you retail art space at his studio. Okay. You can sell your art over there. Sounds great.

You know what I'm saying? So just let you know, it's a beautiful fucking night. That's my boy, George. Great. We're going to revamp the. The fucking All-Star Framing, we've got to do some things. That's it. Things are happening.

So now you're the next project that we've got to work on. So thank you very much. Lee, give me the dates, cock sucker. Bam! Wednesday, Jake's last resort at 8.30. And then on Friday, I'll be in Yerley, Pennsylvania. Like, the Chalani Farm or it's the funny farm show and the midnight I'll be back in the city at Bedford Falls.

Listen, Lee Syatt is, Lee Syatt had the set of his life on Saturday night in front of beautiful people. And Saturday night next week. But next week he's performing a bunch of farmers. They're going to show up to pay tickets with fucking potatoes and corn. It's a farmer's market. Lee don't even know it yet.

Once Lee says, I'm Jewish. Jewish. You know, Jewish? We're Amish, motherfuckers. Lee's going to get in that car and say, fucking Joey Dears. He ruined me now. I can't be doing these potato farms and shit.

I'll do everything. And then, yes, thank you, Nick. Thank you, brother. September 26, I'll be at the dojo, headlining. Headlining the dojo of death. And I'm trying to get, I'm trying to get hooked up

on the 24th of September at the Levity Live in Nyack, New York, motherfuckers. Yeah. I'll keep you cock suckers on point. And that's it and that's that. We love you.

Have a great week. And we'll be back, bitches. Yeah.