The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - We're going back to the street

Episode Date: October 29, 2024

Joey Diaz tells Lee Syatt talk about bringing his daughter to meet Adam Sandler on set, the woman with the tattoo, Joey's life ersume and much more! Support the show and try your first month of BlueChew for free. Just pay $5 shipping. Use promo code DIAZ at https://www.bluechew.com Support the show and download the DraftKings app. New customers can bet $5 and get $200 in bonus bets instantly when you use code JOEY

What's going on there, breath of many sperm shakes? We've been good. Is this how we're starting now? This is, oh, my God. And I love it. There's going to be, I can just see it, the compilation in like 40 episodes. Forget about it. Many sperm shakes.

That's a good one. Oh, yeah. That's what I've been looking for. So get used to it. You know what I'm saying? Why am I going to be sperm breath? Not you. I'm just saying half the people you speak to on a daily basis is sperm breads.

Oh, yeah. People think they got bad breath. No, no, it's right. rotten sperm breath. That shit grows in your mouth. You what's going on? Tarzan, how was Denver? I was, oh, dude. Like, I've heard about it for so long.

Oh, dude. What happened? What am I supposed to say? It was just the whole thing. Like, from top to bottom, one of the best weekends. One of the best club. I've heard about it. I got to do it. I got to do a guest set. Like, two months in, I don't know if you remember this. The last time you were there, you gave me a guest set on an early show set. Saturday. And it was amazing then, but to do a full, and it was a little bit, because

Josh unfortunately got sick. So on Thursday night, I did a guest set on. You gotta stop eating that broccoli and shit. I know. Big fucking steaks. I think it's a celery. He eats so much celery. Every weekend, the only thing he has in the green room is celery. Not even anything, but he doesn't dip brain, no ranch. He doesn't dip it in ranch, but he doesn't dip it in anything. We have to sit him down and have a little talk with it. I know. I tell him that, but he, I like everything about the Denver trip. You know what I?

Dude, it was great. I always have loved it. The problem with Denver is that fucking airport. Oh, my God. Nobody will give you roller skates. Nobody will give you a ride. It's 82 miles in the morning to walk it. Yeah.

Oh, and they had a secret passage to like, because like the tram was full when I got in. But then the thing that, like, you don't think about with that airport is it's 40 minutes from where you're going. It's not right next to Denver. It's like you're getting in an Uber. you're going to sit there for a minute. But it was, yeah.

They fucking, the old airport Stapleton was fucking perfect. Oh, really? I rebuild this fucking monstrosity. It takes you 10 years to get to Denver. Let me tell you something. I'm the type of guy when I land.

I want to be right there. That'll, that'll, if I'm looking for clubs, you know, you put me on the road, that's the first thing I notice. If it's an hour drive from the, hotel to the airport and back, you won't be seeing me that much. I don't blame you.

You know, I'll never forget this. Like going on the road early on, and then I would go with Rogans, so everything was taken care of. Then you become a headline. And it's so weird how you have to start making notes about these clubs. Really? Okay. Yeah, like, don't go to that crazy people.

The hotel smells like a cat. So when they call you and say, hey, we want to give you another weekend. Because sometimes you forget it until you get there. You open up your hotel room. You hear, ah! I forgot about this fucking hotel. That's it.

And now you've got to work the weekend. So after about a year, I would put all the clubs and make notes. Like, you know, the guy chased me in the green room. He wanted to tell me about a script he wrote about Martians. Oh, gee. You know, send you of that shit.

Like, all that went into my point. planning for my return. Like I had to stop going to... Like I was going to Columbus a lot. Me and Brian when they had that thing. There was a deal and we would get bars. But there was this one dude that kept bothering me. And then I went to the funny bone and who's there? The funny bone he is

with puppy dog guys. You know, on a Saturday night with a suitcase filled with edibles, not one of them could do anything to you. It was just jealous. You know, I remember being in the hotel room, meeting like five of them and nothing happened. I just left them there for the fucking maid. I don't know what happened.

I don't know if she sent them to her cousins. But all that shit, I ride into the factor. It's crazy. Like, because I'm still at a point now, like, where I remember all the clubs. And I'm also kind of like a whore for comedy. So I would, like, there's not a club I wouldn't go back to. I can't. No, but there's a club you'll see.

Listen, I'm a horror for comedy. And I loved a lot of shit. And once I started moving up, I knew I wasn't going back to those clubs I have. I can name 10 of them right now, but I won't. Right. I knew this is not a club. This is a, this is a jungle fucking experience. You know?

Yeah. Yeah, and you're like, I'm not doing that no more at some level. And people get mad. Those club owners get really mad and they don't understand. Listen, you don't even have a fucking green room. How come to do a show and I got 20? Or you're going to put me in the back next to a computer and a picture of the ugly family. I got to sit there.

No TV. a couch, you know. I just did that. Like that exact situation would be, and you're in the office. The cook looks like fucking, he escaped prison, and they just gave him a job on the spot. He comes up with his arms rolled. Fucking his, it's a nightmare.

Right. And you just go one day, like, what am I doing to my life? This is an empty. What am I, the comedy? Fucking, I'm not doing this. And then, like, I think I, think, like, I didn't. I don't see it as much with like the bad ones or the not as good ones until you go to a place like the comedy works.

That does it. Perfect. Perfect. And then you go, okay. I ain't more of that place no more. And I ain't going to, you know, I started not even, after like four years, I was no more connecting flights. Okay. Avoiding them.

Like, listen, it's not worth it. And the people are nice on the other end. I know they don't get them out much to civilization. But you know what? You're going to have to drive to Chicago. because you can't because those are the ones that fuck you the most. Yeah.

On a Sunday morning, I'm only one fuck me, but today, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. Is that your favorite word now? No.

No. I don't know nothing. I don't know nothing. Oh, I don't blame you, but that dude, just a minute, like that Denver was, everything was amazing about it. people have heard about the condo, which is great.

But the local, like the guys who were opening up the show and headlining the shows were like so funny that like it's scared. Like the early show Friday, it was like, I didn't have a bad set, but it wasn't the way I wanted it to be. And then the rest of the weekend was like honestly some of the two of the best shows I've ever had in my life. Like it's, I can't, I don't. I wouldn't leave Denver if I was there. I can see what people don't leave Denver if they're there. You know, everybody talks about this comedy scene and that comedy scene and this comedy scene. There's nothing like the comedy works in Denver.

And it's the full fucking package club. You'll improve there. She'll give you spots. She's got two clubs. Yeah. They have an improv. They've got a thousand little one-nighters. Yeah, that's what I say.

You just have to fucking peek. And Denver was always known, trust me, for kind of. who wrote, Steve McGrew, Roger Rittenhouse, Todd Jordan. I was just thinking about the other guy that Matt. There was two mats out of L.A. One of them helped me with stand up. And the other guy worked for Roseanne. He created a bunch of shows after that.

I auditioned from years later. I'm like, that's you? You know, they had a lot of great fundamental. writing. I read a cable guy wanted to buy material. Where'd he go? Dendra. He brought everybody's material.

Because, yes. I get it. Dude, the hosts were killing it. I was in the green room, and usually the host is good, but like, you know, I host all the time. But these hosts were just destroying it from the beginning. And the thing that, like, stood out

to me about all the guys and the ladies who I worked with, were like they were the most level-headed comedians that have like they were very professional and they no drama but like they took comedy seriously like they knew where they were and we were talking about like the one-editers i talked to this dude whose name is sam adams and he like we bonded because i'm from boston and he like he we talked for like hours on friday night about he was in the on in the working at the newspaper for 20 years and now this comedy works like They have, they book shows around the country, apparently, and they book corporates and they book.

And he was just talking about get writing his stuff for that and how different ones work. And he, it's a full-time business for him. And it was just so, everyone was great. There wasn't one bad comic on it, not one bad audience. The manager, the manager, I've never done this. The manager and I went and watched the UFC on Saturday. It was just cool from top to bottom. everybody's comedy journey

is different you fall on your face you take your party somewhere else for some people New York and L.A. work I can't imagine being an open mic in L.A., but it works for some people. For others, you just keep going

to the club playing five dollars a night. New York is a great comedy scene. I got to be honest with you. I started in Denver my first two and a half years. Then I came here for about a year, 10 months, whatever the fuck it was. And I ran back to Denver. There were some personal reasons involved.

But I knew one thing in the back of my mind. I knew that I would be doing way better. Listen to what I'm saying, ladies and gentlemen. I would do way quality better comedy in Denver than just sitting around comics in New York at Hamburga Harry's on a Tuesday and doing $5, 5 minutes, bring three people, and everybody in the audience

is a comedian. They just stare at it. That's the future for a little while. Yeah. You go, you know what? What the fuck am I doing in my life? What are these guys doing that I'm not doing? Okay, I'm jumping on board.

I'm going to start writing. I'm going to start going to different places, but I can't keep living in an open mic. You make your own decision. For me, Denver, worked better for the three to five year development, six year development, than New York was. There was too many comics in New York. Too many comics that I resembled and worked like the accent.

Out here, you're a fucking, you're one in a million. In Denver, there was one. That, there's definitely that. But I also think what you said, like, even more than just like you being unique there, is you having access to real audiences in Colorado. Well, listen, I had open mic slash bars. I never did like a, you know, I did a coffee shop, but it was my friend's coffee shop.

And it was poetry. And I would go down there and drop knowledge. Then they would all get mad at me and tell me to leave. But besides that, it was, you know, Mondays was the Australian bar. And they always had 10 to 15 people, depending on Monday night football. Tuesday was the comedy work.

I don't have to tell you what that was. Wednesday was Club 52. That was 50 bucks. A steak and some comedy. You had the fat fucking opera singer. That was another 50 bucks on Wednesday night. Thursday, you had El Dorito. They paid you.

They gave you a coupon for $50 with the food the next time you came, and they gave you a meal that night. Perfect. You know, and that's what you do. Friday and Saturday, you're delivering fucking dominoes, trying to get even for hanging out all week. When you're an open mic or yeah, but even like at my level now Where it's like I'm not only doing open mics anymore

Like I would do very well in Colorado They were talking about going all these small towns and they do brewery shows And then the Comedy Works has this thing and there's other clubs in the Colorado area He's grown and it's not with cowboys Santa has grown and it's not with cowboys or you know the fucking Dutton's All those little cities that were They're growing now they have real all audiences. Idaho is a real fucking, you know, Boise is real now.

Oh, dude. Or Coralane is real in Idaho. So these little cities are great around Denver to develop. And you and I had 20 conversations about county development where we were going to go next, where you wanted to go next. There's New York, whether it was Austin. We never discussed Denver. No. That's Denver. And it is of, if you're looking for, you know, a great lifestyle,

listen, when I started there, comics had it made. You know why? Because the best, the number one radio station was run by a comic. Oh, okay. He was putting comics on once a week. And as I was starting, he was starting to use me and use car things and special appearances. And then I left. I moved to Seattle.

but it was a one you know you go through that system with them next thing you know you're doing a thousand little things right and that's and I don't this is nothing against any of the people I worked with or anyone who chooses this route but if you want to be a touring comedian do you think it would be easy to get

not stuck but stay in Colorado because it's so great well again it's to see what works for you you know listen I know if I lived in Colorado here it is plain and fully I'm only taking the action on the road when that airport ain't fucking fall.

Listen, it's not worth the aggregate. You see what it is? It's two 40-minute rides. Get it out. Right there. Right there you're talking about one something. You know, and that slows you down a little bit. Oh, yeah. And the snow and shit.

But here's the deal. You want to travel. The bulk of people is from now until February. Then it slows down a little bit. Then taxes and blah, blah, blah. But if you were in Denver,

you could do the East Coast and shit regular times, the West Coast, and during the snow months between Aspen, Wyoming, Montana, and Colorado alone, you can make a living. And not get on a fucking plane. You could drive with two buddies, whatever the fuck you want to do. It's dangerous. There's deer. There's ice.

There's this, does that. But it's better than be. being stuck at a fucking airport, and especially in Denver. When I was going to move during the pandemic, we had the telly ride. I didn't know that. Fuck, yeah. That was the first place we looked. And here was the problem with telly ride.

That they had a fucking functioning airport. Whatever airports down there, I'm not saying, whatever was Grand Junction, maybe, one of those airports was for me, they didn't fucking, in the wintertime, they had action. All year, like it was a regular airport. Okay. But in one time, though, you had one flight out and one flight in. Oh, no. I was like four in the afternoon.

You know, so I was like, that was smart that you looked at the flights. I wouldn't even have even thought about that. That's my business. You have to look at the airports. Got to look at the airports. See, I'm getting myself into it. You think I'm going to buy a house an hour from the fucking airport?

Go fuck yourself. I got to buy close to the airport. This is my business. right? I don't want to be in a car half my fucking life. I do not, you know, it's just personal choices that you go and you said it best before

with like Denver. Denver does it so right. There's so many places that do it so right that when you go to a place, you're like, what the fuck? Where did they come from? Wendy has been doing it

right since I got on stage in the club to first time. And I will tell you that with all the sincerity in the world. She had a system in 91 that she was bringing in the headline of Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and then flying another one on Friday, Saturday, Sunday. She was through. She had to gain down 30 years ago, and I'm here to fucking tell you. You can see it. She was the only fucking comedian comedy club owner that ever. paid a headliner to do a writer's class

with her features and open micers because she knew the future would come from within. Yeah, they still do it. They have like a whole system at the new talent night where like when you start three minutes, four minutes, yeah. Hello! You know, what the fuck are we talking about here? Oh yeah, it's fantastic.

I had a great time. So a lot of the news this weekend? fucking craziness you know my best wishes the show's best wishes to Tony I mean you know I could see him he's a comedian

and they put him in the wrong stage you know you forget that New York is not the same New York as before and it's very politically correct and you know let's see what happens I don't know.

I don't know anything politically. I just heard this a little bit last night and a little bit this morning. I don't know what's going on. It's too much. You know, I haven't looked or anything. I don't even want to look. I don't even want to look, Lee.

No, what would happen if you look? Like, what would he upset you? You know, man, he's worked so hard for so many fucking things. And I'd rather he had kicked the fucking reporter in the neck or run over somebody, yeah, whatever, to work, you know, and I, listen, I know where his heart is, but that's where a lot of people don't.

Right. So right now they're labeling you a racist. Unless they label you a racist, Jesus fucking Christ, you know. And today's racist is worse than 20 years ago. 20 years ago, we all had the racist neighbor, the racist neighbor. We accepted them, yeah. I don't think I had that. Yeah, I had that.

He was racing towards me. That's why I'll never forget that motherfucker. He would always tell me shit. Go home and play the condo drums. You know, he would always say shit to me. And would you yell at him or fuck with him? I would just giggle, and then one day I snapped. And we became best friends after that.

I wanted to suck my dick, like in the eighth grade or something. He was giving me shit about dribbling the basketball, that Cubans don't play basketball. and I just unleashed on him. And we became friends that. He used to sit in his porch and say racist things along with him. I'm not going to laugh. Because he was very funny, you know.

That's not where I thought this story was going to go. I thought there was going to be a misleadier. You want me to lie to you? He said some racist shit that was off the chart, including Spanish stuff. That's why I laughed. Right. The reason I liked the guy, and I even went off on him, was because he would just always come up with it.

If he had one joke a day for me, three a week, I would appreciate him more. But I got to a point where he always had a creepy joke. So I had a light him on fire. And he used to say it with a smile on his face like everybody else in that neighbor said it. So I knew what a racist was, but he was more of a racist. Like he hated everybody. Right. He named Italian people when he was Italian, you know.

So he sounds like he's just an asshole. And he would just go off and I go, ha. I never looked at that. He opened up my eyes to a lot of different things. You know what I'm saying? It was like taking the summer course. I was going to say, do you ever use any of, like, lines as inspiration for any of yours? Oh, I have a ton of lines he used to say.

None of them are any good. Nobody ever quoted that motherfucker. You know what I'm saying? You'll never see a quote from Mr. Eltono that put you on the right path. It was always... Listen, and I remember, because I was the Cuban, me, Valentin, and then you had a German next to him. Like, she was German and the husband was Italian.

He fucking hated that. Who would marry a fucking Hitler and this and that? And then he didn't like Puerto Rican Nelson. He used to call him. He used to call me something. And then a Cuban kid moved in, Raul, and we robbed the stereo, and then he couldn't come to my house. When he moved in, that fucking guy really,

started going off. Debrau left. Everybody started leaving. That was the last pick on the block. And he would always say shit to me. Like, are you going to cut some chickens today? You know, he would always say anything to me. He would say horrible things sometimes. Like, not about my family, but just he would mix the Cubans and other racially hated groups together.

Yeah. Who did he like? If he was Italian and he hated Italians, Did he hate him? He hated young Italians. He didn't like, he liked one Italian kid. On his block, that was my age. He liked one person. In fact, I got to call that kid soon.

Oh, that's so funny. Yeah. Why did he like him? I don't know. Because he had acne. I don't fucking know. All I know is that I took like, I should have put that, I'm just angry.

I should have put three credits for a race. course. I took in 76. Three months on how to be a race. Not but I became a racist. It's like taking a course on fucking auto mechanics. I took one of those two. I'm not a mechanic. I would love to see your

resume. You should write a resume. For what? Just for you. Just like your life experience. Like, took a racism course. Like all the shit you did. Like, we can put a lot of it. It took 3,000 milligrams. shit in a cheese box.

I don't know. Like all that shit. Rob the bar mitzvah. I got to rob the bar mitzvah. Fucking, yeah. No, no. I got a, that's a great tombstone. That guy better bring the hammer and the chisel.

He's going to be there for a few weeks. Chisling all my fucking credits. Because I don't want to know that bullshit devoted for all the husbands. Get me out of here. That's the same lingo, jingo. You put up for every one of these douchebags. Meanwhile, the guy's got a fucking. chick from Thailand in the basement living in the duck somewhere he's devoted he loves everybody

give me a fucking break oh my god what um fuck i was gonna say something what ah how many group milligrams are slipping again no i didn't i took a hundred i was i'm just trying to remember what we were talking about a thousand no i Jesus christ 150 i'm trying to up it a little bit 100 and 50 Where'd you get the 50 from? You mixed them? No. I didn't, yeah.

No. I don't know where they went, but they're somewhere. I'm watching you Cox second. Oh my God. It's good to see you, dude. Oh, shit. I was talking to somebody about this. Do you remember the last time you were going to send me to Colorado?

Do you remember that story? No. You and Connor Hune sent me a person. picture of a girl with her asshole tattooed. Oh, that's right, her asshole tattooed. And you were going to send me, like, there to, like, record a podcast or, like, an interview with her. And then she wouldn't stand your face.

Kind of he was all up for you. But you had him messaging me, and it's like, it's like, I knew it wasn't going to happen. I knew it, but. You knew it was going to happen. You were scared. You kept getting out of it. I didn't get out of it. I packed a bag.

You had me pack a bag for this trip. I had fucking, like, recording equipment in there. I had a full fucking thing because I was like 90% sure I wasn't going to Colorado. But then there's also a small chance I'm going to Colorado to interview this woman who has her asshole tattooed. And like finally like an hour before like at my flight, you call me and you're like, yeah, she canceled. Like you blame. I think you said it was my fault. Like I scared her away.

I forgot all about that. She was like, I'm embarrassed. My husband says it would be weird. nobody wants to see my ass with a rabbit coming out of it fuck they do shit it was nice I just don't think I couldn't believe that

because you would do that you would send me there I would go there myself I just couldn't I was married at the time she wanted to do like a little sex video with you she did not want to do a sex video you want to sit on your face

that's why you were humming and stuttering well a yeah especially back then You just showed me a random girl with her asshole tattooed. Dude, I'm a nerdy shit, like weird guy now. Back then, I was a mess. What about the chick that was going to come in? She kept torching you.

She told you to buy pineapple. Oh, yeah. And asparagus. He went home and ate this. I didn't eat asparagus. I ate pineapple, but asparagus would make it taste even worse. She called you the morning of and told you she had to get brain surgery. No, but someone else had to get surgery.

No, no, it was her. It wasn't her. It wasn't her. It was even worse. Nothing about a fucking tumor. Now you're going to drop the bad news on me on a Friday when I got a tumor between my legs ready to blow up. You know what I'm saying? These people got no fucking respect.

And she made you eat pineapple. Well, I mean, that's not the worst thing to have happened, anybody like eating pineapple. But yeah, I did eat pine. Trust me, I don't normally buy pineapple. I do. It's fucking delicious with coconut water and protein powder. Well, it'd be good. I should have more pineapple.

What happened? It should be more pineapple. That was, yeah, that was about, because she, the thing was that she was in an open relationship and she was going to come out to L.A. And we were going to hang out. You know what open water means? Yes.

Somebody's going to get VD. Is that what it stands for me? Everybody has no relationship until you start scratching and things feel funny. and you see something pop from your knee to the ball sack. You know, everybody has an open relationship. So somebody goes to a club and picks up some worm. Oh, no.

Don't crack. That's why. As soon as you agree in an open relationship, just put a gunty ad and go to the health department and file. Because you don't be there with weeks. I could never be in an open relationship. But people ask me sometimes, there was, like, one person ever.

because I had a girlfriend the whole podcast. So, like, I never, that never, and when I didn't, I was 300 pounds. So, like, it never, nothing ever happened. So, but this one time, this girl, I would talk for, like, a couple weeks. Or I forget, like a while. And she would send me crazy shit. And it was awesome. What happened?

But the day of, it was her boyfriend, her boyfriend's partner had brain surgery. And she would still come, but we could, we wouldn't be, like, doing anything. It would, it would just be as, like, a friend. I was like, well, like, we don't need to. If you're not going to cook, why are you here? I was telling someone else about that. Every fucking we got to go to her house and you'd be like, what's her mom doing there? Yeah, what's her mom doing that sitting there?

Make him believe like she's needed. You ain't cooking. How about you? I'm saying? Go sell some chiclays somewhere. You were like a year away from moving the mother. I was not. The cousin, the sister.

I saved your life, cuck. Oh, my, you didn't do that. Right now, three Mexican kids, she would have been tipping the scales at a mere 280, 290, loans coming out of your ears. You would have been going to learn how to speak Spanish, fucking it up.

You would have been on that app right now, speaking Spanish. Right now you would have been doing it. No, we wouldn't have been to Mexico. You realize we haven't started this? The podcast? Yeah. All right, let's start it.

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And we thank Blu for sponsoring the podcast. Let's get this party started. It's a beautiful Tuesday morning. I love your TVs. Run for your lives. It's over. They didn't put you on this planet just to give up. If Uncle Joey could do it, I can rule the world.

That's what you got to be thinking. Welcome back to show. Are you fucking nuts or what? Listen, I'm really excited because, Lee, if everything goes well, we should be the fuck out of here in two weeks. Love it. We should be. I can't wait. I can't wait to slam this Zoom.

I'm going to beat them up. I don't want to see a Zoom ever again. Next time I'm going to see a Zoom is when I go to prison and plead guilty. for what? I have no idea. Has anyone ever made out someone else's like brain crack? The way you're talking about this podcast.

What do you mean? What do you mean? What do I mean? You keep, like, I don't, it's a lot to jump back into. What is? Just the amount of fucking whatever we're going to do. It's just one podcast a week.

No, no, not a amount of podcast. I'm so excited for the podcast. I'm trying to be on making a joke about how I'm like the edibles and stuff. Oh, yeah. got to go back into training because you have been a complete, you know, you've been lost. I haven't been lost. I don't do 8,000 milligrams anymore. No, you don't.

Everything is the number. You can't because you're going to drive. Yeah, that's a big one, don't you think? Two years you haven't fucking done more than the gram of mushroom. No, I've done way more than that. I have witnesses. Josh Wolf tells me two to two and a half every time. We got to break that rusty cake.

I'm guard and seven. I like that cage. That cage is safe. Nothing about that happens in the cage. You don't want to be safe. I kind of do want to be kind of safe. As human beings, we're about to go into deep waters.

You don't want to be safe. Why play it's safe now? You had all that time to play it's safe. We could be dead in a week. You know what I'm saying? They can send a missile and it's the wrong spot. And with all luck, they'll hit Harlem and New Jersey, Marlboro.

You know what I'm saying? That's a very specific missile. Now is not the time to go on diets. If you ever want to eat that apricot, pour it all over your body, go for it. Jesus, you're talking like the world's ending. I didn't say that. Did I say, I'm just saying that right now,

this week is the week. If you want to do something, do it. That's all I'm saying. It's not the week to count your way, watcher points. If you're sober 16 years and you want to do an eight ball, here's your chance. This is the way to do it. You don't know when it's going to get better. Jesus Christ, it is getting fucking crazy out there.

Getting crazy out there. Doesn't mean I'm going to go to Carvel and buy half the store tonight. No. But, you know, I'm just saying if you had, it's so weirdly that in two weeks, it'll be my mother's 45th anniversary. being dead and I also be off cocaine for 17 years. This all happened in November. And it's just so weird how every time I get close to the Coke date, today I was writing

journaling this morning and I was just thinking about November, you know, I mean, fucking Thursday's tricky tricky, you got kids knocking on your door, you know. And I love it. I love all that shit. I'm just saying that I wrote November and also, I go, fuck! first of all, where the fuck did it go? We were just in August. I was just in Delaware two fucking weeks ago. And it's goddamn November.

Okay. My mother's going to count at the years, 45 fucking years. And I still haven't found the missing key. And then I go, holy shit, I'm going to be sober from cocaine for 17 fucking years, which was what was taking me down completely. and it's it's just i don't want to talk about it it's unbelievable this is like something that if 18 years ago you would have told me this i would have said bro they'll never last i'll be sober for a year and i'll fuck up here we are 17 big ones

that's so cool mushrooms but the thing that took me down the thing that made me kidnap somebody the stuff that make me used to go crazy and shit, all the crazy stories people here, that's when cocaine was around. When cocaine disappeared, you got to work real hard to find something stupid. Right. I didn't know, and I could have if you told me this before I apologize,

but I didn't know that your sober day and your mom's day she passed away is the same week. No, no. My mom's like the eighth and my sober dates the 15th, maybe. It's probably around the same. seven to six. But that's still close. That's like, did her birthday, like, play a role? And I know it was mainly like the cat.

I know that story, but like, did her having that anniversary plan to it? No, it was just time. Okay. It's also Rick Ramos's birthday. Oh, happy you. And Marilyn Martinez has been dead 17 years. And that's fucking, wow. Like, that's just, you know, that blows my fucking mind.

It's some quick fucking year, man. And I saw today was something really scaryly. I went to a couple places that I usually go, and they were all dead. Really? Like stores? Or I go to, which has happened at lunchtime. Happened. I just happen to be coming back and I go, let me pick up an eighth of the podcast,

and I had something different. And I went in there today. There was two people. That's it. And I went somewhere else when I was like. Holy shit. Where is everybody? It's quiet.

People ain't spending a buck. People are thinking real hard. And, yeah, I think it's going to be a quiet week for a lot of things this week. I don't see a lot of people losing their mind. You know, you got the Yankees last night. I don't know. You know, when we were taping, they were just coming on. If the Yankees fucking lose, Lee, it's not going to be good.

In what way for who? This is a, listen, I left here in 19, fucking 83, 85 to be official. And these teams were all rocking and rolling. The Mets won an 86, the World Series. You know, I don't know if the Knicks won it, but the Giants came back in 87 and won it. And that's a long time ago. Maybe they beat New England one year, right? 91 or something like that.

I don't know. I don't know my... To have two teams that are two and 15, and now your baseball team with their best hitter in fucking baseball something is not right you know they just traded DeVanzeno

and the other guy there's some other fucking team they went all out last year with this team you know I just don't understand what's going on in a sports scene that I grew up that was always up there or at least fighting

for something every fucking year you know it's really weird to see this I'm sure the Yankees are going to pull it out I hope they fucking pull it out for this reason. And listen, you're playing the Dodgers who, the payroll is huge. They're the Yankees from 2000. Well, yeah.

Their star could be hurt, and you're still going to be fucking sweating bullets. You don't know what's coming your fucking way. You don't know what's coming your way with those money. It could be Freddie Free. It could be the fucking Japanese kid. It could be Mookie Betts. It could be Muncie. you know, the little

Puerto Rican kid with the glasses. I mean, they're just amazing to see these two. Listen, I knew it was going to be a good series. I mean, most of them been blowouts. They've been playing, right, but it really makes you think, you know, listen, I got nothing against Aaron Rod.

It's a sweetheart of a fucking man. But they're two and fucking five. And the Giants ain't no better. I think they played Pittsburgh last night. And I'm not a big sports guy. I'm not talking to you from a, like, but I'm just talking to you about a fucking fact here. You know, you go to these stadiums.

They want all the dough. I do know that the tickets for the Yankees went down today. Oh, yeah, they think they're going to lose. Yes, so the tickets went way down. Like the girl that I talked to all the time, her and her husband paid $1,100, and now they could have moved down to A section for that money. Wow.

The standing is still $700 fucking dollars. $700 to stand. And you're going to say to me, well, Joey, it's history. No, history is you getting your balls licked behind the fucking Carvel. That's history. And a tongue in the ass when it's cold out and you're eating the chocolate Sunday. That's history. That's never going to happen again.

You know what I'm saying? But this shit. But there's more likelihood of me going to a game and they win the game than me getting my asshole look behind. Like, that's never going to happen. Hey, you got to be like the 69 match. You got to believe. If you leave the house every night,

wash your ass and take one of those manscape white bets and go, tonight's tonight. Somebody's going to take this nut sack around the world. You know what I'm saying? They're doing it around the world from the 70s to you where they lick your muffler, look your balls, massage it, fucking shave it, play the flute in there.

That's an old, you know, an around the world. That was the shit when I was growing. I was ever involved in around the world. I was always scared of those hookers in the city. But they were around the world, your dog. I haven't even seen any of hookers yet. Like, are they on the street now? Yeah, you got to go to Queens and you got to go up there.

There's an area that's just run by hookers in this Queens somewhere. Brooklyn, they just scare the tat. They tell everybody on the block and go fuck yourselves. We're selling pussy here. They're animals. I haven't seen that. I did go to Queens yesterday and I did like, I haven't really seen like too many homeless people in Manhattan.

And then in Queens yesterday, I was like, you're up upper. You're not lurking down by Times Square. Okay, is that where they hang out? They were to roll this watch, count money on the street. Because you won't last a minute. Just keep walking. That's where all the action is. And you know how for 20 years everybody kept saying,

New York sucks. Fucking Times Square is Disneyland. No more. You wanted it. You got it, cocksucker. You're saying you like Time Square? Huh? You don't like time?

It's scary to you in Times Square? No, no. When we were kids, Times Square was the shit. You could buy ass and you could buy a bomb. You get your dicks. You go see a triple X movie. Nobody cares.

You can buy an ID. Everybody for 20 years, everybody kept saying, fucking four Times Square, it's Disneyland. It's just kids. You better go back down there now. They ain't playing down there.

No, I have no idea. I've only been there like twice so far. I had an experience. I don't know what's going on. I had any, like, when I was coming home on Sunday, like, it still really hasn't hit me that I live in New York. I just haven't. You haven't gotten mugged yet.

Wait until you get mugged. It'll hit you. I don't want to get mugged, but keep saying, people come up to me, but like, where's your helmet? When you're walking up the stairs with that knife in your leg, Climbing up, yelling 911. Why am I going to walk up the stairs if I've been stabbed? Because there's four more guys out there waiting for you.

So you slam the door and you run up the stairs with your little gimp leg now, you bleed. You'll know you're in New York when you're in the emergency room. And you're 22 in line and it's 8 in the morning. It sounds terrible. Like, why are you smiling thinking about? Hurry up. I'm dying. Yeah, but it's 22 in front of you.

They all got stabbed too. sitting back there stymie wait for your number I haven't seen anything like that I did see I was at CVS yesterday and like in the city all the CVS is like literally like not a joke yesterday the Oreos are locked up

like everything's locked up and as we were as we were leaving there was this dude who the they actually had the cops there this time and they were like going through his backpack hit a whole bunch of shit and like that is a whole different thing in New York

You know those are all real locked up You were like that's a good idea Oh I know I wish I had those to hide them from people We have to come up and open it for you in the middle of night Like when you get home stone Oh so I don't eat them None

Who's gonna take your car Two and third in the morning when you're hungry You have like the lady on the third floor She wears like 450 You tell listen when I don't eat you eat Guess what you ain't getting those cookies At two 30s she's not gonna hear the phone No

I should get something like that she bang on the door, then she comes up with that big size 14 foot with hair on her knuckles and opens up the thing of cookies. You're like, after looking at a foot, I don't want no more cookies. But then I have to give her the rest of my cookies? You'd fucking decide, okay?

Oh, my God, fucking disgusting. How many shows you got this week? What's going on in the real world with you this week? This week, so far I have two shows. Actually, maybe three. It depends on what my schedule looks like. but either three or in New York this week. I'm in New York this week.

And then November 6th, I'm at the Orlando Funny Bone with Steve Simone. I'm very, very excited. What are you doing the 7th, 8th, and night? I'm doing side splitters in Tampa. I'm opening up for Ian Fidance. It's going to be great at sidesblitters. Look at you. Yeah.

Are you doing Disney World? Yeah, doing Orlando on the 6 with Steve. So I'm doing it. The balls on you, Dinnyland. Who knows? But it's going to be great. I'm going to be with Steve for like a week. Oh, fucking, God, damn it.

A fart came out of me just now. I'm sure. One of those dry mushroom farts. Tremendous. What? You have farts that smell like mushrooms? Listen, don't worry about my farts. Let me explain something to you.

I am really fucking excited about doing a couple of shows. Do you know that? And this week I'm getting that. I got a couple places. I'm going to go to this week. I got a couple places next week. So I'll be ready by the 12th for my first fucking show. And then I got a couple more weeks and I'll really be ready for November 27. And then by December 4th in Jersey City, I'll be tip top Magoo. And then after the 26, I decide next year what we're going to do. I'm still going to keep Moontown, which goes on sale November or 11th or some shit like that. And I'm still going to keep the other festival. And I love Philadelphia. but everything else is background music.

I really want to focus on the fucking podcast. It's a beautiful spot. We got a shower. We got to fucking... When we meet on Wednesday, he asked me if you want the electricians there, but I'm going to bring everything that we have. Whatever we don't like, we can just put it in

a fucking storage. Okay. We'll see what we can use from the last studio. You know, but we were talking earlier about, listen, man, I'm a fucking comic. Okay, and one thing about me is I want to be able to say whatever the fuck I want to say You never heard me talk about the amendments or nothing because you know Everybody talks about the amendments, but you don't even know what the fuck they're talking about

You know, I've always believed since I when I heard Richard Pryor I always I don't know I just my world change and I didn't say to myself that's what I want to do But I always thought it was very cool I believe a lot of things. I like when a comic walks a room. I like little things when a comic has no fear. But you know,

I don't know anymore. I don't know what you're able to say and not say anymore. As a professional, I should be able to read the room. No matter what it is, whether it's a church or whether it's a fucking comedy club, you know, read the room.

You know, I went to visit. I told you, I went, took my daughter to the set of Happy Gilmore, too. Right. And I was, like, alone for, like, the first 15 minutes with my daughter. I took, I went there from my, listen, they were there and I didn't want those guys to think

I was up there for a row, because that's not what I didn't want to do. I like Adam. Right. I like Adam. And my daughter likes Adam now. So when they invited me a couple weeks ago, I didn't run up there. I gave it to Mayer, and I told my daughter I was going to take her. She started

watching more moving. She loves him. She fucking loves him. Yeah, that's right around her age is when I found out of him. Yeah, and I went up there. It's still weird. The kids, that age, you found them at that age, and now kids. It's just an amazing thing to see.

So I finally took her up there. And it was great. It was her and I in the beginning. And then one of the guys went, Joey, and he flipped his glasses up. And it was one of the guys that worked for Adam. Gray. We're all gray now.

When I met these guys, they were kids. But they're fucking gray now. And we hugged and they're like, go get water and food. And the one guy that called me was Spider-Man 2. He was the PA. That's how I met him. And then while we were shooting Spider-Man 2, he told him he was going to go to the longest yard.

And I told him, I hope to fucking get that movie. And then we worked together on the longest yard. He's in charge. Adams all videos start now so everything behind the scenes Adam shoots okay had of that right now took them 20 fucking years to kid you know it's I saw so many people and also we started bringing back stories and one of the guys told the dog I forgot all about this when we had fans on the when we have fans on the shoot those days where you see all those people screaming oh okay and the And the last scene, yeah.

It was a warm-up for those scenes. Nice kid, Dante. Okay. You know, I recognize him. He recognized me. We hugged right away. And I watched him warm up the scenes. To me, it was an education.

I had never seen that. But at one point, all the producers were on the other side of the field. And he looks at me and he goes, hey, I'm going to take a bathroom break coming up right now. is one of the guys in the set, Big Tony, Joey Diaz. Dog, they just looked at me. Okay, let's get this straight. There's 300 people, and they just looked at me. And I just started doing dirty stuff.

And I can hear Adam and the producers going, take the mic from him. Oh, no. Take them. They weren't angry at all. They were just like, Joey, there's kids in that audience. Oh, I didn't get a fuck. I'm up there talking about.

some crazy stuff they're laughing but they kept saying Joey take the mic from somebody I forgot about that shit I would have told you a long time ago and you were like you were just having like why didn't you care like did you hear them when you were on stage? When I was in the field cracking jokes

you mean there was no stage on the field sorry football field just going Acapello right sorry and there and I could hear one of them go take the mic Exactly. No, that's what I meant. I'm just a little stone. Take the mic. Take the mic. And I'm like, and I gave the mic. And they laughed

afterward. There was no really repercussions or anything. I didn't say nothing that bad. I didn't get to it yet. But it's... I didn't get to it yet. I'm sitting there and I'm looking at them shoot. And all of a sudden I looked down and from eight feet from me

Adam was standing. I didn't even know it was him. with a baseball hat on and a beard. And I looked at my daughter and I go, and she goes, no, I saw him, Dad. And then I didn't say nothing. And I went to the bathroom. And I bumped into one of the producers. And he's like, oh, my God, it's great to ask him where his son was

because I was tight with his son. Like, we was a kid who we were shooting the longest yard. He goes, my son is a man. He lives in some fucking temple in India, some shit. And all of a sudden, Adam came out. He goes, my man. And I gave him a bug, big hug. And he goes, I mean, this is just, I don't, I wouldn't tell you guys this story.

But I just want you to tell you that the man and this is what a real, you know, he's not Hollywood. He came up to me. He goes, hey, you came with your daughter. And I go, yeah, he goes, you know I got two daughters. I go, yeah, say, he went. He goes, what's her name? I go, Mercy. How old is she 11?

Dog, he went in the hut, came out, and walked right to her. I didn't go over there. I just watched him walk right to her, and he put his knuckles up, and she put her knuckles up, and they talked for like five minutes. He hugged her. I was like, holy fuck,

this is why he's Adam Sandler. This is why he's Adam Sandler. And then he was on the set, yelling at me, like, Big Tony, you remember that? You remember him from the longest yard? You remember this fucking guy? But they're very nice. The director of,

Uncut Gems is there? Oh, cool. He's a cool guy. But the one that blew me away was on the walkout. Who hasn't? Getting ready to leave. There's fucking thousands of people there. And I look up, and this girl from Sanite Live to Crazy Blonde on a chair.

I don't know her name. And she goes, Joey. And I'm like, I don't know. And she goes, who's that? I go, my daughter. And she's like, oh, my God, you brought her on the set. You played hooky with Dad and all this stuff. Listen, they made my daughter's death. Me, I can kill us. I'm an old Billy goat. They went out of their way for her.

And that's Adam Sandler. That's why I always support that dude. Nobody else did. Not to that extent. How did it make you feel like? It must have been like to see someone make your daughter's day. It's, first off, my daughter could give a fuck. Really? She wasn't? No, but she cared of.

about that one. That one was... And then as I was leaving, Adam, I'm going to leave. Thank you for letting me on the set. I gave him a hug, whispered, thank you for everything you did for me. And I looked over and I go, mercy, take a picture of Adam. And then she took a picture, and I took another picture of her and him,

and we fucking left. That was it. She was happy, you know? It was Friday afternoon. It was fucking beautiful. And all the executive, the executive producers I was leaving and him and I had her words we never really discussed we hugged and we talked and he wants me to go back and talk to him for a couple hours so I'm gonna go back up there

maybe they're there till like the eighth or something the night that's awesome so I'm gonna go up there for a morning and he put them and you know but it was very nice and like I said I wasn't looking for anything you know I just want to go up there you know whatever that's what you do with your kid man I'm so grateful that I had that opportunity with her. Right. And that's what I was thinking. Just that's the reason you moved back to Jersey was like to do stuff with her or for her. Well, it was crazy because I set the picture to my cousin, the Cuban one.

And she hit me right back. And she's like, oh, my God. And then she wrote me something in Spanish. She goes, you know, it must be really nice that he hired you. And he was really nice to you. You know, she wrote something like that. It really, it made me realize. you know a lot of things that you know this is it man it's a everybody has a different journey for me it was

adam sandlin you know he was a really good to me he put me in like three movies and i lucked out i hit the fucking jackpot i was at the listen i didn't get that movie i didn't hang out with nobody special from that movie they told me they didn't want me and i thought about it when i was coked up one night and next morning i woke up and i went and got a a football shirt and a helmet and i had a had my buddy Chuck Savage tape me, and the rest was fucking history. Nobody gave me nothing because I was friends with nobody. They were going to hire Big Bussy in Saragusa. So I'm very proud of that.

You know what I'm saying? Like, that's something that I did, A to Z from the fucking jump. I want it. You know, that's for people to know that when you want something, you just don't, well, I really want to be in that mood. No, I fucking didn't stop. I didn't stop. And it shows, dude.

Like, that's, what do you say? That's, like, the biggest movie you did? Yeah, I didn't stop. When I knew that movie was getting shot, I didn't think how big or small my role was. I knew I was in that movie because as a kid, that movie hit me so fucking hard in the movie theater. And I loved Bert Reynolds so fucking much.

That was one of those movies in the movie theater. I'll never forget. We were all on our fucking feet as kids yelling mean machine. So I knew I wanted that fucking. fucking movie. And this is why I get mad at people. Because if you want something, you're not going to wish it into your life. Never, you know, you're going to wish you on a weekend. You know, when you get drunk with your friends, I'm telling you,

I'm you're snorting coke, I'm telling you, tonight's it. After this package is it, I'm going to be in an Adamson. Trust me, when you do coke, people act that way. Tonight's the last night. Of course. They love their kid. They love their wife. They don't even know why they're out. the night. Meanwhile, they've been out every night since I've been married. You know, you got to listen to that bullshit. But it was one of those things that

I nailed. It was beautiful from A to Z. It taught me a lesson. And it taught me a lot about myself. And that's why I get mad at comics and actors and just people in general because they want to fight for something, but they're not willing to go to war for what you believe in or what you want. I'm no special. I never went to Russia to learn to act. but I knew that going in. I knew, I also knew the situation. This guys are all to the bone comic,

and he wants his projects to be the funniest they could be. I looked at it by that. Saragousa is a great football player. God rest his soul. And Vincent is a funny guy, but he ain't got the deep fucking comic Lee like I did. And it paid off. And this is what every comic should do,

or every actor. When you want some, You know, knock it off with your stupidity and your fucking bullshit. Run, cocksucker. Two minutes. Let me take a fucking, let me take two minutes and talk to you about Draft Kings this week, where shit is crack-a-lackin. We'll be back.

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I already told you last night to call your boss today and tell him, listen, there's some days I'm going to be here at 8. I don't know what to tell you. I'm just going to be missing a Zoom or two. I'll be here to consult. Don't worry about nothing. Before he can even say that, just hang up on it. That'll go well. Who are they going to hire?

They got a drug test them. What are they going to hire? Bacente? I'm not even worried about that. I don't even worry. about that? What are you worried about? My mental, like, hell, like... You aren't. Look, you're

out there. It don't matter. What do you mean? I'm out there. You became a comedian, not because you're normal, because you're fucked up as it is. Nobody wants to go on stage in front of fucking 300 people unless, you know, you're a fucking moron. That includes me. So, that means you live on the edge. That means you have the balls

to do it. A lot of people would like to do and wouldn't do. You know, I mean, listen, you wouldn't jump off a fucking hell of you wouldn't join the army and join No chance. Okay. They'll probably look at you going, boy, he's fucking crazy. I wouldn't get on state.

The same fucking paratroopers will look at you and go, I don't know how you do it. And you're like, you jump out of a fucking plane and the enemy fucking terror. We could do that in my sleep. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And it's not that I'm like,

people can be like get your sister pussy. I don't mind doing mushrooms and doing animals. But you go from 100, to fucking 8,000 with a half of that Hanlon. Are they going to wait? Always stay captured.

No one's going to capture me. I'm glad it's on tape now because he finally You're not going to get captured. No, who's getting captured? Mushroom dust on my tongue. That one, when I bit into it, dust came out of it. I got another one twice as big with your name.

The dust just hits you in the eye. The next day you wake up. a pink eye. You rub your asshole all night and scratch your eyeball, which you've done a couple times yourself. And everyone's listening is like, yeah, that sounds awesome, do that way. And then if you went to them, they would pee their pants.

And they're like, no, I wouldn't. We're like, we're not doing it for them. That ship's sale. We're doing it for us. You think I eat... Why can't us eat a normal amount? If you can do 1,200 milligrams and burp all night for them? They don't even know. I do it for me, Jack,

we're in training. It's tip top of blue time. What in what world would take edibles help me with when I'm captured? Because I'm still going to be me. It's not like if I take edibles, I'm going to be like six feet tall and can run them like super fast.

No, I don't want you to run fast. So what are they going to do to me? I want your mind to be ready for everything. Adversity, torture, because no matter what happens, you still got to give them 30, 40 minutes of fucking heat. Even if the whole time I'm stabbing you in the back with a pencil like

John Wick, you got to stare up and fucking take it like a savage that you are. I feel like, did you ever see Vipa Bandetta? Who? The movie Vipa Vendetta? Oh, I see it all a time. No, I never saw that fucking movie. It was a good movie.

I just feel like her. Like, the guy who had her, like, kidnapped I was like putting, I don't remember like, but just putting him through like a I just want to know what's going to happen when I'm kidnapped. Who's going to kidnap you? You always say you're always going to be ready in case you get kidnapped. What I'm saying to you is what happens in the world today.

Right. Somebody sees you walking around New York. They paint the Yamacan. They put it on you and they go, that fits. Go get them. Right. All right. Because that's what you do.

You look at somebody and go, could he be or could he not? Like when I see a cop, when I sell drugs, I'll put a police uniform on you. If it fits, I go the other way. You know what I'm saying? I don't want to talk to nobody. So all these little fucking people got to look at you and go, does he, should he have a Yamakan?

And they'll go, yeah, look at the ball spot. And they'll take it, they'll take you to a fucking dungeon in Queens and they'll fucking milky you for information. Where's the missiles? I'd never give it up. Now, you're tough for the nails, but they're going to do different things to you.

They're going to put nails in your nut. sack and your eyeball and then they're going to try to trick you first with mind game but you're prepared because you already been tortured by Uncle Joey But Is someone ready for more torture?

No, no, you've already been torture you already done It's like when I walk out of Jiu-Jitsu at 12 At 11, that's the toughest thing I'm going to do all day. I don't know this. Like after that I'm safe I don't got to dig no fucking torches I don't have to, you know, that's what I'm trying to You're mentally prepared.

You follow me? Cogsucker. I don't know with you. I can't believe you did that. He's supposed to one of those intimate conference that you should not do it that more. Yeah, it's great. Can you do that?

Another one. I would love to see you do that like Carvel or just see me. If you eat this three grams of African mushrooms, I'm going to give you. I'm going to do that all night while you're sitting there looking like this guy going with my life going wrong. I should have stayed at your Mitzka school Whatever the fuck they send you cock-suckers Your Mitzka school

Yeah, what was Ari got thrown out of? What did he get thrown out of? Oh, he got thrown out of, um, fuck I know, I know, but I'm just, I can't think of it right now. Sure you can't think about you. Your Shipper. You ain't 50 milligrams.

No, I did not. It's 50 milligrams. You would have been tipped off. Fuck. That's the only benefit of this, of taking as many, of whatever we're going to take. is that at least now he won't say I'm not taking what I'm taking.

I see you is the only time I trust you. And even then, you're making noises. You sweat, your palms, your face is red. It's like, guys, you have no idea. Because I start calling the night before talking about that. When I was the night before? It's months out. Every time we talk.

Like, are you going to be here under 12th for the show? No. I think so. Yeah, we're dying that night, New York. We're not even coming back. What are you talking? Oh, my God. Yes, not the city winery. Yeah, I'll be there. You'll be a Philly with me. Yes, I'm so excited.

By Jersey City, that's Chango's birthday. By that time, that's too deep. By that time, they'll capture you. Who's them? You know who. You know who, Cocksucker. You really have to do that. in all normal conversation.

What's that? Yeah, because I'm all jazzed up. I don't give a fuck. And I'm excited. I'm excited that, listen, I'm going to punch Mr. Zoom in the head. I don't want to see a Zoom again. Zoom reminds me of a lot of bad things, you know what I'm saying?

We should do that. The last Zoom. The last Zoom is going to be great. We're going to light something on fire. Hopefully we'll hook up this Wednesday. I talked to my man already. He's going to meet us there. He wanted to know.

off the electrician boom pop feet we'll be ready to fucking rock I can't wait by that time I have the other box edibles for the first episode we're going all that we're going to have a nurse there we're going to have intravenous we're going to have pizzas my chick will be there pizzas yeah if we're going hundreds of milligrams let's go a little bit deeper than pizza what are you just pizza I'm going to turn you on to the best pizza you've ever eating in your life each Monday it's going to just be there I mean we're gonna have a lot of it's good pizza

be there we're bringing in food from restaurants I think you're gonna fuck with me with like Domino's there's a place your boy told me about Danny Braff called San Wicitos down an edge water I looked at the menu I don't even want to show it to you Lee oh man that's gonna be good

Edge water sandwichitos good sandwich but instead of sandwich Cheetos. Go ahead, type it up. See what you get. You might go over there tonight on your own. Is it a North Bergen? Yeah, just type North Bergen or Edgewater, sandwichitos. See what you get. Let's look at this menu.

Andy, if you can pull it up, that'd be great, but I'm looking at it right now. So David, Juduit, too, steak with a steak with chimituri caramelized onions. Oh, yeah, this place looks crazy. And this is close by? around the corner Fudge is made. Oh my God. Yeah.

We're going to have to get like a tab there or something. It's my sad. Doug, I'm always thinking of a year and all you're doing is, I don't know, mushrooms who's going to kidnap me? Nobody, be you got to be ready. You got to keep an open heart with Uncle Joey.

So what are you going to eat? I always have an open heart. There'll be a steak and chimituri waiting for you and a nice fucking glass or whatever you want to drink. You know what I'm saying? Relax. Take the plug.

out of your ass. It's over. It's over. This is lightweight now. We don't have to fucking go all out. They know who you are. They know who I am. This is not going to be like before. We're just going to focus on getting on it. I'm excited. No, no, no. I want to do different things.

But that'll be part of the training because you've been slipping for four years. It's kind of hard to maintain that level of training for four years. Well, that's why. But I never stopped. I took a little breather. I had some problems. I want to smoke no more. But I fucking try to live my day like a normal American. I was like, fuck this shit.

I'm going back to the street, Jack. I start eating edibles and everything else I can. But now, it's a different world now. I don't need edibles in the daytime at all. Listen, these ABXs don't even do anything to me no more. Because they're hundreds. At the end of the night, I'll burping my fucking mask. I got to get up.

in the middle of the night and wipe it down. So I can't. I can't. You can't only go out once a week. And now, since I only do once a week, my tolerance is lowered. So it's the beautiful fucking thing. It doesn't sound like it's low. I don't think your tolerance is low.

Well, it's a lot lower than 20. You can be 2200 milligrams of jello now. I'll fucking die if I eat that shit now. But before, I was solid. Like the rock of your brother, Jack. Yeah. fucking Jesus Christ So that's it, Lee

It's just a fucking Tuesday Next time we come on here It'll be Yeah, next Tuesday Which will be November 5th, right? When is election? The 5th?

The 5th? So wait a second, come on. Yeah? We'll be coming to you on the fucking 5th, hopefully from a different location But if not Zoom for sure. Oh yeah, absolutely. Yeah.

because we were talking about doing it at a restaurant one Monday just to try it out to see if it worked. But fuck it, let's just wait to get to the office and then we'll branch out. Once we got that, it makes a lot of fucking sense. But I'm really excited. You're right. I'm not getting no brick in the back.

Fuck that. That brings back old memories. We're starting up anew. This is the church, New York City style. Cuck sucker. Right. I love it. I'm so excited to see, like, because there's so many more people

and we have so much, it's just going to be good to, like, be in the same place. And when you see where we're at and everything, you're going to go, what the fuck was this? Like, that's what I like about it. Like, no, it's a back came. You got to go through

bushes and weeds. And there's like a fucking thing that'll give you a flat tie if you go back there. It's over. The guy set it up that way for himself. Holy shit, that's crazy. It's hard to find places like that. I really, I would like, thank you. because with my schedule, I haven't been around

and he looked at a few places. You have no idea. Because I reached out to a bunch of people and it got to, at first it was slow. People were like, let me ask around. And then all of a sudden, I was getting places to look at in Jersey City, Rutherford, Union City.

I talked to the guy, Edgewater, and then somebody turned me on to the galaxy. but the both days the day I went to look at the galaxy I had this too that's crazy the lady talked to me for too long and I never go over there

so I told him forget about it and then this week when she said that the Chinese people wouldn't hire it they only give it they only sell it to their own I called the guy and he goes I still got it if you want it some guys coming in Saturday to look at it again no that's not going to happen

save them the fucking trip I'll be down there at eight minutes, and that's what happened. And on that same day, right there. Mikey Chick called me and said he had an office for me up the block from my mother's bar. Oh, cool. I sent you the pictures, right? On 29th and it was on 29th and Summit. They used to be a bar on that corner when I was a kid.

And down the middle of that block, that's where I live, when my dad died. we were just maybe a quarter of a mile from the bar our bar there was a bar in 29th and Bergenlein which was ours 29th and summit they must have tore that down

and that's what the office is that would have been crazy I would have been fucking insane but when I looked at this spot it was really big and the shower brand new they're going to put the glass in this week that's when I was like fuck it it's worth it

so I'm fucking just just listen, I got these dates. I'm not really leaving town. This gives me a little time to focus. I haven't been up there in a long time. So this is my chance to reunite with Mr. Barone, a bunch of those guys.

I'm going to start calling them and letting them know. I'm going to pick them up on Mondays to do a podcast. Chickadellia will be the dog guy, you know, the whole fucking thing. But that's it. So that's all you're promoting right now is the fifth in November. Yeah, the sixth. Orlando. The sixth in Orlando and the rest of the week. And it's

Tampa at sides blurs. Okay, good. Well, I'll see you this week. For all you motherfuckers, I love you. Thank you for the support over the years. You guys thought we were lazy with this fucking Zoom. You know, guys, you know what's better than this.

We ran into a fucking string of bad luck and now we're making it right and we're ready to fucking go. I'm sorry about the Patreon. Okay, I can't. I reached out to three people already. Nobody knows nothing. So I'm sorry about the Patreon. It's kaputz. We're going to make it up to you

with the fucking YouTube. I haven't been doing YouTube videos because you only get like 3,000 people. I don't want to waste nobody's time. They all come up with a different name. They're not money. I don't know what's going on with YouTube. So I just said, fuck it. I'll wait until Lee gets here and we'll set it up right.

And we'll put a morning joint to it, whatever the fuck you guys want. So we didn't forget about you. We love you. Thank you for the support and the loyalty. And we'll see you next week, Coxuckers. Stay black. Greetings from Podcast, Bill. It's Tuesday, the 29th of October. The checking is brought to you by. You ready? Blue Chew will get you ready for Halloween.

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