The Comedy Cellar: Live from the Table - Abracadabra with Harrison Greenbaum

Episode Date: March 25, 2022

Harrison Greenbaum is a magician and a comedian who began performing stand-up comedy while studying psychology and English at Harvard. He has been featured on numerous television shows, including NBC's America's Got Talent, NBC's Last Comic Standing, TBS's Conan and Comedy Central's This Week at the Comedy Cellar.  He is a regular at the Comedy Cellar. 

🎵 This is Live from the Table, coming at you from the world-famous comedy cellar on SiriusXM 99, Raw Dog. And on the Laugh Button Podcast Network, this is Dan Natterman. Noam Dorman is not here tonight. Why, U.S.? He's doing a show around the corner. Glenn Lowry, who is a pod podcaster is doing a live podcast and invited Noam to join

the podcast is about it is about comics and the role of comedy in in confronting sort of difficult topics

I guess which was a good which would have been a good topic for our show but in any case Noam's doing that so he's not here we do have

Periel Ashenbrand who is our producer, and she does do on-air stuff as well, and that just kind of evolved. It wasn't planned. It just, you know, it's too late now to do anything about it. We also have... You're talking about her like she's a mutated strain of producer virus. It's new. Well, we love her talking about her. Like she's a mutated strain of producer virus. Well,

we love it just the same. We also have Harrison Greenbaum, who is a regular here at the comedy cell. He's a comedian. He's Harvard educated. And now I do this. I don't know if that means anything to anybody, but he is,

uh, he's a magician. He is recently engaged. He joins us now. And a shout out to Nicole Lyons, our sound engineer. I guess that's what you would call her? Audiologist. She's an audiologist? No, I don't know.

How would you qualify your role? I would like to go by that moving forward. Audiologist or sound engineer? Audiologist. She's an audiologist. She comes to us from the Philly area, I think. Binghamton. Binghamton, New York. Those are the same. I'm slightly, look, I am still not 100%. I had a stomach flu, a gastroenteritis, the norovirus, whatever name you use. It's a horror show. And I had that a week ago, and I'm still not 100% well.

So you're dealing with an 80% Dan Natterman tonight, which is still better than 100% of a lot of other people. But it is what it is. Welcome, everybody, to our program. Now, if no one were here, we would probably jump right into transgender issues because there's stuff going on with that. So, you know, with the UPenn swimmer, Leah Thomas, and with Katonji Brown,

who was asked to define a woman in Congress. And did you see that, Perri? I did, and also was asked if she thinks that babies can be racist. I didn't hear that. But wasn't it, I think, Lindsey Graham? No, that was Ted Cruz.

He brandished a children's book and said, can babies be racist? Because when I look for factual stuff and I'm questioning a potential Supreme Court nominee, I want to question the logic of children's books. It's unbelievable. Also, are all hams green? Are all eggs green that go with the ham?

It's just very weird. Do you believe cats belong in hats? Like, what the fuck are we doing? Well, I wanted to know what Perrielle thought about Katanji's... So I guess we will get a little bit into the trans stuff since that's sort of what we do here a lot of the time but wait you brought something up

can you walk us through the norovirus experience because you've talked about that a lot on the show how your biggest fear it's not my biggest fear is not that it's throwing up I thought that's not my biggest fear.

My biggest fear is being buried alive. But my biggest fear of shit that actually happens, that happens to me and has happened on a regular, somewhat every few years basis, is stomach flu. And in my book, Iris Spiro Before COVID, available on Amazon. Yes, I'm a proud owner of that book.

Have you looked at it yet? Yes. It's a good book. Well, have you read the whole thing? I've not read the whole thing. Okay. Well, nobody. Don't worry.

Nobody has. But how far did you get to it? I got like halfway through. All right. Well, you weren't moved to continue, I guess. No, I will finish it. I will finish it. I will finish it. You're not obligated.

But the main character also has an issue with that because the main character is 60% based on me, 40% based on not me. But the main character has an issue with that. So, yes. So, can you walk me through what you – one i don't know what dinner but well but you never know what the stomach flu what caused it because it could be anything you ate 24 or 48 hours prior but was it food poisoning or did you have you just don't know okay because it can be transmitted through food it can be transmitted through surfaces um it's transmitted through fecal matter and vomitus but that can get on food that can get on surfaces okay so so that's how it's transmitted through fecal matter and vomitus. But that can get on food.

That can get on surfaces. Okay. So that's how it's transmitted. So you don't... So I don't know how I... Did I eat a meal at the Comedy Cellar the night before? Yes. Okay.

Yeah, but nobody else got sick. But can I blame the Comedy Cellar? I'd like to. If I can blame Noam for something, it's obviously more fun. Right. But I did have the shrimp, which shrimp, you know.

But, now, the thing about it is, is when you have stomach flu, whatever you just ate, that's the stuff that comes up. Sure. You know, it comes out.

So that's the stuff you're going to be kind of associating it with. And so that's the, so, so, so, so just to, I won't be eating the shrimp here anymore is my point. Well,

whether the shrimp had anything to do with it or not, I will not be having the shrimp here and maybe nowhere else either for a while. Well, I will tell you that I was just downstairs and somebody was eating the shrimp, which ordinarily would look delicious to me. And because I knew that you had eaten the shrimp right before you got sick, I also probably will not be eating the shrimp.

I'm going to go the opposite. I'm going to eat the shrimp just to run this experiment because if I end up okay, then we know it's not the shrimp. Well, no, we know that it's not the shrimp. We don't know because on any given night, the shrimp could be fine. And on another given night, and again, it could be because it's not necessarily intrinsic to the shrimp. It could be a chef that prepared it without washing his hands. It could have nothing ever to do with this place.

It could be from something I ate at the diner the day before. Or not. It could not be food poisoning at all. Or it could be I shook somebody's hand that had norovirus. Okay. Why do you keep calling it norovirus? Because that's what it is. That's what I was diagnosed with because I went to the— I thought maybe it was COVID because COVID is now manifesting itself

with gastrointestinal symptoms. So I went to Lenox Hill and said, I don't know if I got COVID. I don't know what I got. So, I mean, how much information do you want? All of it. I want all of it. Why do you want all this?

Because it's interesting. This doesn't air while people are eating, right? Well, if you are eating, I would caution to put it down. I hope it's not shrimp. They gave me a nose thing, and that was negative. But you can't diagnose norovirus from that. Okay. So they made me give them a urine sample, which you can't diagnose norovirus from that. Okay. So they made me give them a urine sample, which you can't diagnose norovirus from that either.

Now, can you guess what you can diagnose norovirus from? A fecal sample. That's correct. Okay. So you had to poop at Lenox Hill on demand? Not hard when you have the norovirus because diarrhea is one of the symptoms. Oh, God. So you're just—

But how do you avoid it from... This is going to be gross. How do you get it... Knock it on your hands. What is this process? I'm good. Is it a bag? Are you shooting in a bag? It was all liquid.

They gave me a cup. It was completely liquid. Oh, boy. It looked like... Not unlike chocolate milk. But didn't taste... Were little shrimps coming out of your butthole? No, it was just completely liquid.

Oh, my Lord. Come on, Perriot, really. So in any case... The worst commercial for sea monkeys. That's how they diagnose norovirus. And I guess from vomit, too, they can do it, I suppose. But I couldn't give them that. I think they don't even test the shit.

I think if you're willing to do that, it's definitely norovirus. Well, if it's all liquid, they're probably like... Were you throwing up also? I was, but when I got to Lenox Hill, I had no, it was not like that. Okay, because he did not sound good. He ripped, yeah. And then they gave me Zofran, which is an anti-emetic.

Yeah. As well as anti-nausea medication that actually I read online really doesn't do much better than a placebo. So I don't know why they give it to you. Well, because placebos work. That's the whole thing. It's not that a placebo does zero. It does something.

I don't think that that's true. They gave me that while I was pregnant. They do. Yeah, like it depends on who you are. Sometimes it works for some people. Sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes it's no better than a placebo. Sometimes it helps with the throwing up,

but not the nausea, which if I have a nausea, I might as well throw up. I mean, I don't know that that helps at all, having nausea without the throwing up. How's that helping me? How's that advancing my cause? So you poop... You want more information on norovirus, or you want to talk about

Katonji Brown? So you pooped in the cup, and then they... That's a hell of a transition. And then you got diagnosed, but you've been sick for a long time. Because it takes the body a while to recover from the absolute beating that you take from 24 hours of vomiting

and diarrhea. You still have lingering... Your system is completely fucking fucked. And so I'm not back 100% to normal. Anything. Plus I didn't eat for several days after because I was still diarrhea. And so I'm not back 100% to normal anything. Plus, I didn't eat for like several days after because I was still diarrhea. Are you gatorading up now at least?

Are you rehydrating? Yeah, no, I'm rehydrated. But I lost, look, I went from like 159 to 153. Wow. I want to get on this plan. In just a few days. Are you back on solids? Yeah, I'm back on solids.

Okay. No, I was back on solids quickly enough, but depending, you know, not like a greasy cheeseburger. No, I mean pooping solids. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, you should see what I'm up to. But anyway, unless anybody has any further questions about norovirus. I'm glad you're feeling better. I was just going to say, have you ever pooped and then looked at it and been kind of proud?

No, no. Never? For sure. Come on. There's only a couple times where I did that thing. Never proud. Never proud. You know, I mean, some aghast.

But this really isn't a topic that we want to delve into any more deeply. This is where we're cutting it off. Especially when we're cutting it off is an interesting way to put it. Cutting it off, you know.

You know, it's hard to poop in space. People don't think about this. Pooping requires gravity. Your poop comes down. Don't they have to wear diapers? Well, your body, you know, your muscles push it.

This is my kind of an episode. I will tell you, as somebody who's read about this topic, pooping in space requires you to basically put your hand in a glove and use it like scissors. Into your butthole? Well, you have to basically detach the poop. Normally, poop falls out of your butt because gravity,

and you're in a space shuttle. But you're pushing, and you have muscles that push. Yeah, but they don't link. I will be darned. Pooping in spaces. And here's the other problem, is if the poop gets free into the space shuttle, it could cause a crash because it can get into equipment.

And there has been at least one Apollo mission where a poop got free into the space shuttle, it could cause like a crash because it can get into equipment. And there has been at least one Apollo mission where a poop got free and they had to call mission control about it. And like after this floating poop. Go ahead, Dan. Houston, we have a problem. We have a real problem. Yeah.

There, we have the audio tapes. Do they wear diapers? They do wear diapers. Usually like when they lift off. That is so fucking demoralizing. Can you imagine being that brilliant and accomplished that you get to be an astronaut

and then you have to put on an adult diaper and like shit in your pants? Well, imagine how much you smell. You can't really shower. That's also really a gravity-based activity. Did Captain Kirk have to wear a diaper when he went into space last year? They had fake gravity in that shuttle. That's why they're walking around.

Right? When they're in the Enterprise? In the Enterprise. No, I'm talking about when Captain Kirk really went into space. When William Shatner went into space. Oh, well, that's just very short. I don't think you need to be right. You're up and down.

How long do they usually go to space for? Now, when you do the space station, like ISS, International Space Station, it could be a year. It could be a while. Wait, I'm sorry. You spend a year in space? Oh, yeah. If you're going to spend all that money to launch somebody up there. Wait, wait, wait. Is this common knowledge? Yeah.

People know this. Astronauts spend a year in space. Now, if I would know them, I would probably come down hard on you for not knowing this. I went to space camp, so this is Dirigore. See? Let's, if we can, transition. And I know these transitions can be abrupt,

and I've been criticized for that, but we don't have commercial breaks, so sometimes you have to be abrupt. In any case, does anybody want to talk about Katonji Brown's definition of refusing to define woman? And I have a thought about that, which is why I brought it up.

What's your thought? Well, do you have a thought? And people are making fun of her. She said, I'm not a biologist. So people are online saying, well, how's the weather? Well, I don't know. I'm not a meteorologist. That's kind of like a big joke on Twitter, you know. So, well, how's the weather? Well, I don't know. I'm not a meteorologist. That's kind of like a big joke on Twitter, you know. So, well, is that, you know, a bologna sandwich? Well, I'm not a chef.

That's the kind of thing people are tweeting. I mean, like conservative right-wing people are tweeting. Whoever's tweeting it is tweeting it. And she's being made fun of for that. Yeah, I do have a thought on that. For saying I'm not a biologist, I cannot define a woman. Well, yeah, I mean, of course. He's just like antagonizing her.

Well, it was females that asked, and I forgot who it was. What was her name? I forgot. I would, no, I. I mean, the thing is, a lot of this confirmation is just political theater, and her whole mission, as it has been with Kavanaugh and Coney Barrett, you kind of don't answer any questions. You try to,

you, you constantly say I'm here because you're trying to verify whether or not I'd be a good judge or not. So there's a difference between what she's willing to say in this confirmation hearing and what our actual beliefs are. And I, I, I'm sure it is a very astute political calculation to say,

I would rather just say I'm not a biologist than to try to get into the woods of what is a political football at the moment. That's likely true. So it's hard to criticize her for that statement. I don't think that's what she really believes. I think she probably has strong feelings one way or the other. Well, I don't know.

I mean, now if you asked me how to define a woman, and I thought about this, my question to you, I would send the ball right back in your court. I would say, define definition. Because you laugh, but the reality is, how do we define any word? What is the definition of any word? Is it what we see in the dictionary?

Is it what a majority of speakers of a particular language, how they use that word? I mean, you have to have... How do you define... Words have to have meaning or you have no language. Yes. But how do we... If you want to give an exact meaning to a word, where does it come from? It comes from... And some words, people don't agree on the precise meaning.

Is a vulva, a vagina the same thing? No. No. Well, but some people use it that way. No, I think we all agree that that's not the same thing. No, it's not the same thing. I mean, people can use words however they want. And that's how words become, yeah, but that's how language evolves. Gay

used to just mean happy. Had nothing to do with human sexuality. And then one day, one fine day, it started to be used to mean... There was a confusing interim period, though, where people were like, oh, that guy's real gay. And they're like, what do you mean by that? There was a period where it could have gone into it. He's happy about dick.

There was that, probably like 1920s. Yeah, there was some real fun. I mean, there was a lot of faces. That's a gay fellow. You didn't know what he meant by that. Yeah. First of all, it was Marsha Blackburn, who's a Republican from Tennessee. OK, so obviously she's trying to antagonize.

Fair enough. She's trying to antagonize. The point is, is how do you define woman? And the answer is, how do you define any word? And that's a good answer. I like that. And words, definitions can change. And my answer would be, if you asked to put me to the wall and said to define a woman, I would say,

I define, I would say, well, words change meaning. And I think we're in the middle of a transition now. No pun intended. No pun intended. From what woman used to mean, which was a biological woman with an X, two X chromosomes and a vagina. See, it's funny because when I was in college, I graduated 2008, so that was 14 years ago. I took a class on human sexuality

that would make it 15 or 16 years ago, so almost two decades ago. And we very easily distinguished between gender and sex. We talked about the role of society and societal standards in gender. We talked about all of that stuff. And I don't think it was overly controversial necessarily, but it's not like this is a new thing trying to separate saying like X, Y, XX is not the only thing that is defining whether you are a man or a woman. For sure. And it hasn't been like that all over the world forever. Well, look, as I said,

we can pretend that it's a new thing, but like it's not a new thing. But then how would you define, but then who gets to decide how the word woman is defined? It depends on the context. So if I'm a medical doctor, it might be important to know whether you were born male and transitioned into female because the way I treat you might be different than if you're a biological woman and have stayed a woman. So medically, as a doctor, it might be important to make those distinctions. When I'm interacting with somebody day to day as just a regular person, those distinctions are a lot less important. And it's really about the context with which, you know, the context. I love that. I think that's such a smart answer.

Well, it's an answer in any case. Look, as you said, words have definitions or we can't function linguistically. But this is the same trick they tried to pull with gay marriage. They were like, but what is marriage then? Isn't marriage between, isn't the definition of marriage, it's between a man and a woman? Well, that was the definition. Now the definition is different. Yeah, but they like to pretend that marriage always meant like, first of all, they always would bring up the fact that marriage existed as an institution in order to produce children.

And the second they, everybody raised up all the other examples, like, well, what about a man and a woman who we know are sterile? Should they not be able to enter into marriage? Is what their, is their union not marriage? So like,

yeah, I feel like the, the playbook on the conservative side is to act like it's always been this way. Why would we change it? And that's, it's, it's a, uh,

not really a winning argument. It's not a genuine argument. Yeah. It's also not a genuine question, right? Like why it's not a good faith question when you say a hundred percent. Well, it may not be a good faith question, but it's a, um, I mean, it's, I think it's an interesting, it's a leading, is what I'm trying to say, is that she's trying to lead her into some corner so she can make some argument against trans people. Well, further, it's not an argument against trans people if you happen to define woman as a biological woman. Right, exactly. But that's exactly what I'm saying. Like this Blackburn Republican from Tennessee. You're making it about Republican versus. Well, I mean... I'm just making it about how do we define woman. Okay.

And my answer to that is how do we define define? And I think it's a legitimate question. If it's by the dictionary, then I'll go look in the dictionary. If it's by how most people use the word, then I have to take a poll. In either case, I really... I think it's about how people identify.

I mean, it's not... No, that's not how words get defined. Well, you said woman. The word woman. Any word, the definition of any word is dependent on how that word is used by speakers of a language. And in the case of the word woman,

it's used differently by different people. So I guess the answer is, it's ambiguous right now. But I think that people that define it biologically aren't wrong. I think that's a way to define it. Yeah, but they're trying to create some kind of objective thing where gender, because it involves society and its expectations, has subjective components to it. And so there are certain people who would like it to be that in order to be a woman, you have to be born XX, period, end of story.

And that's reductive and disingenuine and hurtful to a lot of people. By the way, you mentioned marriage. Sure. Which is a good transition. Okay. Because Harrison Greenbaum is engaged to be married. I am engaged. And he's at the tender age of what, 29?

I wish. I'm 35. 35. It goes so fast, you know, because I guess when I met you, you were still in your 20s. I was in my 20s. The weird thing is when you met me in my young 20s, I looked 40. And now I feel like I look 35. So somehow I've aged.

I think it's the beard. Well, you've had the beard, I think, even then. I'm not like I look 35. So somehow I've aged, I think it's the beard. Well, you've had the beard I think even then. I'm not sure. So 35, well that's about the right age to get engaged. I think it's technically a little bit late because I'd like to have kids, but Well, how old is she?

She's seven years younger, so she's about to turn 29. And did you meet her the normal way comedians meet women? Tinder. That's not the normal way. Oh, you'd be surprised. That's a way, but meet her the normal way comedians meet women? Tinder. That's not the normal way. Oh, you'd be surprised. Well, that's a way, but I think the normal way is... From the audience. Hey, you were funny. Oh, yeah? Do you thought so? So what are you doing?

So who are you with? Oh, just my friends. Oh, you live... Comedians ask the same questions. Right. Who are you with? We want to know if you have a boyfriend. Sure. Oh, I'm with my friends. Oh, do you live in New York? Yeah, yeah. Oh, so now you... No, because if they don't live in new york it might not you know uh depending oh yeah and if they don't live in new york well how long are you here and well where are you staying this is the information comics kid

no this was a tinder date but this was a tinder date that didn't go super well uh the first date um because there was a miscommunication because she thought she was meeting up with me after I had finished performing. And I thought I was like, hey, we're going to, I have a set. You'll get to watch it. And then we'll go to dinner afterwards.

So she arrived expecting me to just like run and grab dinner. I was like, oh no, I have to go on stage now. And so she was a little bit miffed about it. And it wasn't until we went out to dinner afterwards at Mimi's, which is where I ended up starting my kicking off my whole engagement to her a couple years a few years later that we started

talking about like our actual lives and things that we like and then we were like oh maybe there is something to this but isn't it so great to have that be your first date that she can watch you be so funny because doesn't that like just like normally it was normally i think people do people in my past history it was a

positive but it was interesting for her it was she was just like this she's like very nebraska nice so the idea that i would invite her to watch me perform on the first day is outrageous is outrageous yeah do you think that's a good way to start things off in general? Like I said, a lot of comics meet women because they're in the audience. So their first impression is you on stage giving a performance. Is there something false about that? Something fake? Something not? I mean, my act was never.

Some comics have an act that definitely, I think, sets them up for later if they're trying to get laid. My act was never that. They're like, I, so I, that was never my, my experience. No, but they're seeing you on stage in sort of a, as a star, they're seeing you as like in a, in a, you know, you're cool. You're not going to be that cool offstage. You just couldn't be as you would be on stage with everybody laughing. For sure. For sure. You know, so you're saying it's just a slippery slope. No, I'm saying it's you know, you're creating

you're not, your first impression, their first impression of you is not as a real person, it's as a performer. So I, you know, I think also sometimes when I would date somebody they might, there are people who do comedy but really like they're accountants and they like do comedy

for fun. They took a class and so sometimes having them come to a show, I was like, no, no, I'm actually like, this is what I'm dedicating my life to. And I think I'm, I'm pretty good at it. And so you're, if you, if you are going to latch yourself to me, uh, this is, this is a good thing. Right, right, right. Like this is what you get. Yeah. I'm, this is not, hopefully this won't be a sad life where I'm struggling. Look, I can do this thing. You brought up, by the way, something interesting about comedians whose act is basically designed to try to get laid. Oh, yeah.

There are people who have that. It's an interesting topic. Topics that you don't want to discuss. I talk about my age on stage, but were I designing my act for the stolen express purpose of getting laid, I wouldn't talk about how old I am. It would be 15 minutes on how hard it is to have a big dick. Yes. Man, who are my big dick people at? Am I right?

You know, about how women, they won't leave me alone because I give them such heavy orgasms. But I talk about my back hurting, all stuff that's not sexy. Right. But some comics wouldn't, I won't mention names, but some comics wouldn't discuss those types of things because it would get in the way. Now, I will say if I have a specific person that's in the audience to see me say I meet somebody and then I invite them to the show, then I might be conscious of what I'm saying on stage. But as a general matter, my first priority is to be funny. Yeah, isn't that most common? No, well, maybe most, but not all.

Okay. There are some that would prefer to be cool than to be funny. Okay. And prefer to be sexy than to be funny. I would say that, you know, those things, I mean, being funny. You could argue that if you're really, really funny, you are sexy. Even if you're talking about being older, having a bad back or a tiny penis. Well, maybe not that, but the rest of it.

Yeah, if you push too hard on some of those topics, I think if you're just like, man, I have the smallest penis in the world. And then all your jokes are about that, it might be a turn off. But yeah, I do think that being funny is... My penis, by the way, for the record, is reasonable. Well, I don't know that anybody thought otherwise, but... There you go. But for the record, you're engaged anyway, so it doesn't much matter.

Fair. But do you have any thoughts about that, Nicole? I know you're not an on-air personality, but we've had other non-air personalities that one day became that. In regards to small people. No, no, not in regards to small people.

In regards to somebody on stage that was very, very funny, but everything he was talking about was unsexy. I don't know. I kind of feel like sometimes comedians, when they get vulnerable, is almost like a little bit more sexy than the big dick stuff because anyone can say they have a huge dick on stage, but not everybody can be vulnerable.

There you go. That's my two cents. That's good. Thank you, Nicole, for your two cents. It's also like some people come across on stage like bad boys. Some come across as good guys. Some are kind of that way anyway. Right.

Well, what they appear on stage doesn't necessarily conflate to what they are offstage. But I think certain, yeah, you can do the bad boy route, leather jacket, and some people are into that. Like an Andrew Schiltz sort of a... I guess, yeah. I was thinking like old school, like Dennis Leary. Or Dice, oh God.

That would not work anymore. Now, now. I hope not. Well, no, he'd be canceled. I mean, he was even canceled then, pretty much. And this was 19, whenever it was, 89 or 90. But what does he do? I haven't seen him.

Well, I don't know what he does now, but back then he would just. No, I know what he did back then, but he performs all the time now. What's his act? I think it's still there. I guess he gets away with it. Actually, I don't remember if it was homophobic or it wasn't. It wasn't transphobic because we didn't talk about trans people. It was misogynist.

It was misogynist. Yeah, but in a fun way. It wasn't super. I don't know if there was a... Well, some people perceived it fun and some didn't. Right. It depends how you mean, you know, Nora Dunn on SNL at the time refused to perform with him when he was hosting. There's a great essay on him where some people, it was also people were trying to figure out whether he meant what he was saying or whether he was a character to to dislike on purpose.

Right. And from that perspective, then then it's transgressive. I thought it was a brilliant character. Of course.. Look, I thought it was a brilliant character. Of course. That's how I perceived it, is a brilliant character. Ridiculous over the top. Whether or not he thought that,

I don't know. I mean, you never really know. But it was a character. Clearly, the question is, was it a character that promoted and encouraged this kind of thinking? Right. Or is it actually,

which is a point where it's making fun of the very person that he's being? I mean, I think it's an interesting question, but I think that it's, you can't argue that it was, he was just brilliant like that. He was incredible. Well, the character was brilliant.

I don't know that the writing is as terrible. Well, I mean, he created the character. Yeah, the character was amazing. That character was amazing. I thought, you know. Also, didn, the character was amazing. That character was amazing, I thought. Also, didn't Dice stop performing for like 20 years to go raise his children? I don't know if he stopped, but he kind of vanished because he— Because he went to go be a dad.

No, I think he vanished just because he couldn't maintain— just like Dane Cook, but kind of, relatively speaking, vanished. I'm telling you. No, he just didn't— I think he just couldn't maintain that level. I mean, maybe he did. He was the first comic to sell out Madison Square Garden. Yeah, but then it just kind of fizzled.

I'm telling you. I'm telling you. I think it's a combination of both. Okay, we can. I think he's being confused with Rick Moran. I don't think he could have maintained that level, even if he wanted to, assuming he didn't want to. It was just too—he burned too brightly, and it was too crazy a character, and I just don't think it was sustainable.

But look at him now. He came back. Yeah, but he came back, but not with that— He had to reinvent himself. And not where he was. He's not what he was then. He was a phenomenon. He was like a shooting star back then. That was how I fell in love with stand-up. Oh, from Dice? Of all things, from the Dice Man.

That's interesting. Well, certainly, Perrielle is, you know, very sensitive to somebody that is really a misogynist. She would be sensitive to it. So that she says that she didn't feel he was misogynist is something to listen to. Thank you. I thank you.

Yeah, there you go. Harrison is not only a comedian, he is a magician. Also a misogynist. No, oh my God. Oh no. I hope I'm a good ally. He is a magician. I've seen him perform close up card tricks. I've never seen his stage magic act, but his card tricks are quite good. I have a stage show called Harrison Greenbound What Just Happened. It's my

baby. It's the first magic show that's ever been at the Cellar, like we did at the VU. I started off as a magician when I was like five years old and then it wasn't until college that I started doing standup and exploring standup. Um, and then kept them very, very separate. Um, when I, my, my freshman year of college, I was interning for Mad Magazine and like barking for stage time, uh, at night.

And I was about to go on stage. I was stuffing, uh, sponge balls in my pocket. And there was a comedian, uh, who saw me doing pocket. And there was a comedian who saw me doing that and he's like, what the fuck are you doing? And I was like, well, you know,

I also do magic. So if the, if the jokes go south, at least I have a magic trick so I end on a strong note. And he said, take that shit out of your pocket. You'll never learn.

Uh, and I think he's right. Like you, you can't have a safety net. You need to live or die by your jokes alone. That's how every other comic does it. So I kept them really, really separate. Well, I, you know, I don't know that he was right. You can't have a safety net. You need to live or die by your jokes alone. That's how every other comic does it.

So I kept them really, really separate for a long time. Well, you know what? I don't know that he was right, especially when you're starting off. If you're starting off and you have something that makes you more comfortable because you know you have an ace up your sleeve or a sponge ball in your pocket, I don't know that that's a bad thing. I mean, I hear what you're saying. For me personally, it changed the trajectory of my whole career because it was about

going on stage and knowing if I didn't have the goods, I was going to fail. So I needed to work that much harder and live or die by my jokes alone. Because it's also very easy with magic. So I give a lecture all over the world for magicians called You Are All Terrible. Are you serious? Yeah. I cannot believe

I didn't know any of this. Oh yeah. I have a book coming out this year called You Are All Terrible which Are you serious? Yeah. I cannot believe I didn't know any of this. Oh, yeah. I have a book coming out this year called You Are All Terrible, which is for magicians. That is so cool. I have to bring my son to see you. He will flip out.

How old is he? He's eight and a half. See, that's the problem. Is that as soon as you say magic, people think kids. And my show is definitely 18 plus. Really? It's dirty? It's still me. It's still me doing. Really? It's dirty? It's still

me. It's still me doing, I just it's my comedy plus magic. I do shows once in a while that you could potentially bring your family to but the Harrison Green Room what just happened is absolutely inappropriate unless you're an adult. I've been single for way too long. When you're single in your 20s

people are like you haven't found the right person. When you're single in your 30s they're like you, you haven't found the right person. When you're single in your 30s, they're like, you're not a right person. It's you. I'm at the point where I'm thinking about getting a dog. Anybody else give up on humans? Anybody else? I'd like to get a dog. I just don't want to come with those like overly passionate

dog people. I'm sure there's a few of you here. Into their dog. You? Yeah. You're like, the dog is my baby right dog is my dog is not a baby like when a baby dies you can't just like bear it in the backyard and not tell anybody like that's a very big difference usually called a law also you have a baby and it dies your friends don't run up to you immediately like don don't worry, we got you a new baby. A rescue baby. Same mix as the old baby. I can't get a dog because I live in a studio apartment in Manhattan. What would I do with

that dog when it dies, right? You can't bury it. There's just like a sidewalk and a street outside. You can't flush it. It's too big. You can't put it down the chute. That's suspicious. I call my dad. I was like, what do you do with a dead dog? He's like, really? This question again? He was like, take it to a veterinarian. I was like, the nearest veterinarian is like 20 blocks from my apartment. So what do you want me to do? Just put like a dead dog in a backpack and get on the subway for four stops there's a sign if you see something say something dead dog in a backpack definitely a something you see a paul sting that of a jansport you call somebody should never have a dead dog in a backpack although if you do put random things in the backpack this way on the off chance you get

mugged you just ruin that mugger's life. Just end his career with an unsolvable mystery. He just jumps out and says, give me your backpack. You're like, no. He unzips it. There's like a dead dog, a dildo, four clown noses, and the ace of spades.

Where was he going? That's an answer you can't Google. If you had to make it as a superstar, either as a comedian or as the magician, but it had to be one or the other, you couldn't mix and match, which would you choose and why? That's interesting.

I mean, my comedy magic show, I'd like to think is is truly both it is truly stand up comedy that's not the deal that's on the table well but when i do magic i'm doing stand up i understand that the deal is comedy or magic well it's but so i can't keep doing my current show that is correct you can either be a superstar comic or a superstar magician which which a couple of, yeah. You can have some patter in there, sure. You want to put some patter in there? I think this is a false dichotomy. Put some patter in there.

But basically, people think Harrison Green, I think magician, or they think comedian. You get to pick one, and you're going to make it at the highest levels. Yeah, and he's getting so upset. Well, no, because my whole thing has been. Or if you don't answer, you get neither. Right. My whole thing has been, I always define myself as a comedian with magic as opposed to a magician with comedy. Right.

Even when I'm doing my magic show, I'm a comedian with magic. And I think, I don't know if there are really many other guys, if any other guys or girls, I was, when I say guys, I mean everybody. But I don't think there are, if you take away all their props, can do standup,

are funny without it. And that's sort of how I built my show is for it to be, it's a magic show, but you can evaluate it on standup comedy ground. So the laughs per minute are that of a standup, which is every 20 seconds. And this man doesn't dance around a question. Yeah.

I think legacy-wise. Tap dancing should be what you... I mean, I'm a comedian at heart. I just think that if I had to choose one, I probably... I think I'm doing more for magic by trying to show them that they should be writing their own material

the way comedians do. So you'd be a comedian. My whole lecture to magicians is, hey, you love all these comedians. Do you know why they're funny and good at what they do? Because they write their own shit. They don't go to a store and buy it and they don't steal stuff. They create their own material. And every artist does that.

And there's no excuse for magicians not also doing that. And that's like the main thesis i don't think we have an answer yet we don't i mean i'm i'm a comedian who does magic well you're only allowed to do one or the other in this scenario but i i've never done i've never done just magic i've always it's always been combined with my comedy well there's i don't know how to i think i think what's the definition of magic we're just throwing it back to the beginning um no i think the problem is when people hear the word magic there's certain things that are attached to it that are just not actually the reality right but

not in this you get to only do magic doesn't have you get to only tell jokes you get to only do tricks with a little bit of powder i'll give you a little bit of powder but like have you seen amazing jonathan who recently passed away? I'm not that familiar with Amazing Jonathan. I know he passed away. But he was one of the funniest people on this planet. Okay, but in this alternate world. No, we're not getting any.

But he's not doing magic with just patter. I mean, he's a comedian. This is like a congressional senator. This is like the Ketanji Brown hearing. Yeah, it's so hard to choose between the two. Then you get neither. My thing with magic is I enjoy, like you do these. Do you have anything with you that you can do a trick?

I will tell you magic on the radio is generally. Magic on the radio. No, but it's on YouTube. I know, but not everybody sees it on YouTube. I know, but not on YouTube. I do have an album out. I have an album, Harrison Greenbaum live at Madison square garden. And I did an extravagant,

the most expensive, largest illusion show that's ever been done in New York at Madison square garden. And I figured dangerous escapes, uh, all sorts of celebrity guests. And I figured the best way to capture that for all of history was to only release the audio. So there's a 45-minute audio-only album called Harrison Greenbaum Live at Madison Square Garden.

It definitely happened. You can hear me do ventriloquism. You can hear me juggle. You can hear me do mime. It all happens on that album of the show that definitely happened. Where can we see, where can people see you do actual magic tricks video

of magic tricks? I have a little, I have some stuff online. I'm trying to actually film the whole magic show as a special this year. That's one of the, that's like my number one goal is to get that thing out there because it's been something that I've worked on for so long. And in that spirit of like, some magicians will create a show and then that's it. They do that show till they die. And I want to be more like a comedian where I get that show out and

then I work on a new show. My thing about comedy, uh, magic rather is, is as follows. I enjoy close up magic. I don't generally go to see magic stage shot shit, but if Harrison wants to show me a card trick, I'm all in. I can't tell the difference between a good magician and a great magician. Like, comedy, you know, people talk about the best comics. And of course, we all have different opinions, so it's not completely objective.

Magic, to me, it's like, okay, this guy did something with cards, and I saw another guy do the same thing, and maybe this guy's got somewhat better patter. Well, part of that is, and what's his name? David Blaine kind of brought in the grungy,

you know, aspect to it, but I don't know. It just seems like I'm not like, I think it's just education, right? So like when the average person, when you ask them what good wine is,

they, they don't really know. And the same way like a sommelier would know. The advantage comedians have is that most, the average person has seen a lot of standup in their life. They can name, if I say, if you grabbed a random person on the street, said name as many comedians as you can, they're going to name a ton.

If you say name all the magicians you can, they're going to say Houdini, Copperfield, Blaine. I mean, Houdini was an escape artist, not a magician. He was a magician. Okay. Yeah. He did magic as well. the stunts were to bring why do you think that magicians then um maybe david blaine's an exception are not considered as cool i'm for one of a better word there's really no other word i guess i mean chapelle people like oh no no magician is looked at like Chappelle.

Magician, even at the top, top level, there's a slight cheese factor, I guess. It can be. I mean, that's the other thing. And maybe David Blaine's the one guy that was able to bring it out of that. Penn and Teller. I think Penn and Teller are pretty cool. They've done some really cool stuff. I don't think people walk away from that show being like, oh, those dorks.

They're cool. I think, I mean, part of it is that when people hear the word magic, they think Siegfried and Roy, which, who are incredible, but definitely are the product of the 60s through 80s. My favorite.

Were they magicians or lion tamers? They were magicians. Oh, were they magicians? Yeah. Didn't you ever hear Sigrid say that, I am the magician, but Roy, he is the magic. Yeah. I never heard him say that.

Yeah. They were an interesting duo. I mean, duos are always fascinating, like the dynamic between how you keep those partnerships together and working um but i i yeah i mean i think the main reason magic magic is considered dorky is that most most magicians are dorks like that's a good i mean that's the main reason like there you can be there are a lot more comedians who are in order to be a comedian i always look at that spectrum where

like you maybe between let's call it prior and carlin we're like carlin was all about at looking outwards right he's the normal person saying the world is fucked up and crazy and so it's outwardly directed it's very scripted like he's writing that thing out word for word he's one of the first guys to have a computer because he's typing up all of his stuff. It's very craft-based and outwardly aimed. And then you have Richard Pryor, who's more about the, he's the crazy person. He's the fucked up thing and the world is normal. And so all of his stuff is aimed inward at himself, right? He's talking about himself and he's, you know, he has a bunch of wives. He has drug problems. He lights himself on fire. He's not someone who's known for scripting everything.

He's kind of doing it off the top of his head. And so there are these two extremes. Is that true? Was he known for doing things off the top of his head? He didn't have that. I don't think he really wrote things down. There's not as much as the amount of biographies and documentaries I've seen. Carlin had files. He had a file system.

Joan Rivers had a file system. Some comics don't. Some comics really are about going up there and writing the material on stage or being more in the moment. Cause they're talking about themselves as opposed to, this is how I think about the world. It's, it's more inwardly aimed.

Those are two very different, trying to average them together. If you, if you just average those two, you end up in a middle comedian that doesn't exist. So those Richard Pryor's particularly are, if you're defining cool, it's like a bad boy. Like there, just average those two you end up in a middle comedian that doesn't exist um so those richard priors particularly are if you're defining cool as like a bad boy like they're in order to do magic it requires a lot more prep and and planning on the more carliny vein because you have to build

props and like do things that are secret and there's a lot more maintenance of stuff um so it's a lot harder to be like somebody who lights themselves on fire drug addicts that's a lot harder to be somebody who lights themselves on fire drug addict. That's a lot harder. That archetype is a lot less prevalent. Doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Also, with comedy, there's also very different styles of comedy. Whereas a card

trick is a card trick. But that's the whole thing. There are styles of magic. You just don't know them, there are styles of magic. We just don't know. You just don't know them. There are styles of presentation, but there's two different aspects to magic. There's a presentation and then there's a trick. Correct me if I'm wrong. David Blaine's presentation is, pick a card, you know, that.

But it's the same card trick as the guy that's like, hey, you know, with the cape. But it's, but, but it's, it's. Well, so here's, so here's the fact. David Blaine doesn't have a cape, but it's the same card trick as the guy that's like, hey, you know, with the cape. But it's, well, so here's the fact. David Blaine doesn't have a cape, but it's the same trick. I would both agree and disagree. The part where I disagree is what David Blaine kind of brought to magic was that, because it's all about like that, when you talk about art

and you talk about art being a conversation, it's a dialogue with past art. So the reason Andy Warhol and pollock are right after the other is they're in conversation with each other pollock is as unliteral as possible he's throwing paint and putting cigarette butts on the floor and on his canvas and then warhol is literally a factory so he's existing in conversation with they're they are having a dialogue with each other they can't warhol can't exist without Pollock right before him doing the exact opposite. Blaine, similarly, there's all this glitzy magic as Siegfried and Roy and Big. Copperfield's making

the Statue of Liberty disappear. And Blaine's doing two very interesting things. One is he's making it smaller. He's putting a camera on close-up magic, which it really didn't have a spotlight the way it did. But he also turned the camera around. So if you look at other specials, it's very rare that you're watching people react to magic. Blaine knew that most of the entertainment, like for especially the early specials, he does a card trick and then the camera watches those guys go, Oh my God.

And run away. And the camera stays on them, not on Blaine. It's all about the reaction. Okay. So first, so he's doing something really interesting. The trick itself is a trick. That's so now we get to the part where i innovate now we get to that

part where we we talk about that which is so he's doing certain some of the tricks in the first special for example are tricks that anybody could probably go to the magic store and buy for 30 dollars and so he doesn't he's not inventing that trick i would say that his lack of presentation is an original presentation his character that's not i've hung out with him he who he is he's not inventing that trick. I would say that his lack of presentation is an original presentation. I've hung out with him. Who he is, he's like almost non-talking, non-verbal. I'm just the instrument of magic is a character that he's developed

and allows you to focus on the other people, which every other magician is always like, look at me, look at me. I'm a wizard. So it's a really interesting move to make because nobody, nobody really, I think that was genius on his part. Right. So that's the genius part that he's bringing to it. That's different. Um, my whole argument has always been that you need to actually be inventing tricks and coming up with new stuff. So like, that's very unusual though, right? It is unusual,

which is the, which is the unfortunate thing, right? Every comic at the cellar is, is their goal is to come up with their own jokes, right? That should be the goal of every magician is to come up with, to come up with their own tricks. It could be based on the same structures. Like I'm not inventing the rule of three when I'm doing comedy and I might be,

but the structure, there are structures of comedy exaggeration. Right. There are tools in our belt that are fundamentals that you're not reinventing. You're using them to create your own jokes. But you have a distinct point of view. You have, you know, you're contributing stuff. Listen, if I may, I have to say that I think Harrison might be my favorite guest that we've ever had.

Oh, thank you. Well, that's interesting. You may, by the way. This is so interesting to me. Well, it may be, but I have to hear from Nicole first. I'm having a blast. All right. Are you?

Because you're giving me a David Blaine-esque I'm having. That's just how my voice is. Yeah, Nicole is a little bit David Blaine-esque. Nicole is basically the David Blaine of sound engineering. There you go. Audiology. Can you talk a little bit about like mentalists and what they, so this is,

this is one of those hunt. I'm, I'm a controversial figure, not controversial, but I would say, and I have to decide whether this is a change of controversy. It's not, it's a change of topic.

I think that, and there are going to be mentalists who are real mad at me for saying this. Mentalists are magician. The big banner is magic. What they're doing is a special, it's a specialized, it's a, underneath the big umbrella of magic, there are illusionists,

there are close-up magicians, there are comedy magicians, there are escape artists. It's a big tent on which a lot of other things, just like with comedy, there are one-liner comics, there are dirty comics, there are clean comics.

There's all sorts of kinds of comedy, stand-up comedy. like with comedy, there are one-liner comics. There are dirty comics. There are clean comics. There's all sorts of kinds of stand-up comedy. Similarly with magic, mentalism is a kind of magic. They like to think that they're not even under the tent, that they're a completely separate category. And I think that... It's not true. Do you know Eric Dittelman? Of course!

He's one of my best friends. He's a great guy. I bring him up because I happen to know him. Shout out to Diddles. The Diddles. And then there's this guy, Uz Perlman. Yeah. A lot of Jews.

Jews love mentalism. Well, we're mental patients. You go to Israel and everybody's a metal bender. I don't know what is going on. Who are these people? These are just people we know in common that are mentalists.

You mentioned that Harrison was one of your favorite guests, and that's fair, but you have to give credit where it's really due to the person that brought it out. That's right. Had no one been here, I can guarantee you we wouldn't be having this discussion.

We'd be still waist deep in transgender issues, which might be interesting, by the way. Or the Katonji Brown hearing. Well, that's, yeah, or the Katonji Brown or whatever else, and maybe it will be a fascinating discussion,

but it wouldn't be bringing the best of Harrison Greenbaum. Yeah, I absolutely agree. It wouldn't be utilizing Harrison Greenbaum to his fullest potential, which I think is what I was able to do. When I have, because we invite people on, I want them to flourish, not to be silenced.

I give you... And Noam invites people on and says, we're discussing this, and if you don't like it, that's too bad, but here it is. So that's the different strategy. Do you feel like Dan's bringing out the best in you? No, I mean, it's interesting. I mean, I think it's one of those weird things

where I've always felt bifurcated because I have a foot. I always consider myself a comedian, but when I go into the magic world, it's always coming. I think the superpower is... So Harrison is coming out as bi. Right, bi-artistic.

Now, I did want to touch on something a little bit more political, too, just to end things. What time is it, Periel? 7.55. Okay, so we're winding down anyway. Periel has been very, very involved in Ukraine. I went from being a virologist and an epidemiologist and now I'm an expert in Eastern Europe. You're not an expert in anything, but you are good-hearted.

And Noma's giving her shit, saying she's just sort of signed on to the cause du jour, and maybe she has, but a cause du jour is better than no cause at all. And Periel has found herself becoming involved in raising money and sending food and medical supplies and so on. We have collectively, well, I've dubbed this Operation Fuck Putin. Nice. And it was started in the basement of my building by my Ukrainian super, Vitaly, who...

Is his family okay I mean they're all volunteering you know his mom's volunteering in a hospital his brother's volunteering at the in the police station they're in a town in western Ukraine called Sambir and so the initial thing was that we were I was just helping him send like eight boxes to Sambier. And then to date, myself and a crew of other people, we've sent 250 boxes of medical aid and humanitarian supplies, ranging from food to formula, baby carriers, I mean, medical, everything, about 10,000 pounds. Wow. I know. It's been insane.

And who's shipping it? So I have a good friend who has underwritten about $10,000 worth of shipping. He has a very big company and very close ties with FedEx. So he gets a really good rate and he has really kind of single handedly helped us figure out how to ship and where to ship to. There's a town. First, we were shipping through Poland, right through Ukrainian shipping company. But Poland's completely bottlenecked. And it's quite I mean, it's just a mess. So we've been shipping to a town in Romania called Tulce and then trucking into Odessa. Wow.

And the woman who's sort of been my partner in all of this speaks Russian and Polish fluently. And so we've been vetting people and talking to people on the ground and sort of navigating this whole thing. And I really have become sort of a logistics expert in international. Is there any, if people want to donate, they go to your,

um, well, they can just come to my Instagram page and you've got all the information. Yeah. I mean, I'm sort of done taking money at this point and we just sent our our last shipment of 12 boxes to round out 250. But we've now figured out different ways in which I mean, we were running like a 24 hour like insane volunteer operation. I have a friend who started something called the hummingbird effort, which you can look up as H U bird.org. She grew up in Poland. She's a real estate, um, investment banker. And she basically turned her childhood home into a refuge to take women and children into. Cause you know, the men aren't

allowed to leave. And, um, she's, she now started this foundation and they've rescued, I don't know, probably to date like 40 mothers and 60 something kids. She's resettling them and finding them homes and signing leases on their behalf. And so things like that where it's like, OK, now people are on the ground. It's better to just send them to them. I've read that they think as many as 14,000 Russians, soldiers of diving from 7,000 to 14,000 have been killed. Now, we lost 7,000 soldiers in 20 years in Afghanistan, just to give you perspective. This has been a couple of weeks.

So, I mean, that's just devastating. I don't know. I mean, like, you would think at some point the Russians would just be like, okay, you know, we're not doing this anymore. Right. It's hard to get accurate numbers, though, from that. Yeah, and the Russians themselves probably don't know what the numbers are. I will tell you this. I left. It's hard to get accurate numbers, though, from that. Yeah, and the Russians themselves probably don't know what the numbers are. I will tell you this.

I left my leather jacket in Mexico end of January, and I'm still trying to get it ship-backed via DHL from Mexico to New York, so it astounds me that you can get supplies to war-torn Ukraine, and I can't get my fucking jacket back. We don't know that they're actually... I've got only FedEx.

I should have gone with FedEx. Well, actually... Maybe she just let the jacket slide at this point. That's riding. I'm not with FedEx. I should have gone with FedEx. Well, actually, actually. Maybe she just let the jacket slide at this point. That's right. And move on with your life. I can help you get your jacket. I for sure can help you get your jacket.

I feel like I'd rather you help the Ukrainians before you worry about my jacket. I'm done with the Ukrainians. We do know the first eight arrived. We have people on the ground. I mean, we have pictures of them with the boxes, so we know that they arrived. We have people on the ground. I mean, we have pictures of them with the boxes, so we know that they arrived. What do you think? I'm running some fucking nonsense. Okay, I don't know. I mean, you're doing the best you can, but when you talk about a war

to our own country... Is the stuff getting there? Okay, you say it's getting there. Okay. The first eight have gotten there. Good, good, good. Nice. It's just... My jacket's still in Cancun.

You gotta send FedEx. It must be a nice jacket if you're putting all this effort in. You know, I just like the jacket and now it's just become a personal... It's been my... You 100% can get this jacket back. Oh, I know. GHL, it's a whole journey. It's where we're getting married

in December. So worst case scenario, this jacket back. Oh, I know. GHL, it's a whole journey. It's where we're getting married. In December. Worst case scenario, they'll just hold it for me when I go back. You're getting married in Cancun? We are. We're doing Destination. So are you going to invite a lot of people? We're going to invite a bunch of people, but also we're not going to...

We won't take it personally. We know with the Destination wedding, we're going to have a smaller group of people. Now, Cancun is nice. I like Cabo. Oh. We tried to find a resort. We really wanted to make sure that the cheapest room was affordable,

but also nice. Because we went to a couple of resorts where the cheapest room was affordable, but looked out over a brick wall in a jungle. And you're like, well, that doesn't seem like a fun thing for our friends. What does this woman do? My fiance? I met her once, I think. She works for Verizon. Does she work for Verizon?

Yeah. Oh, so you go to a normal gig. She's a normal civilian. Yeah, but she's also very talented. She does graphic design, and she's also very creative. And are you her favorite comedian? Well, you're probably her favorite bifurcated artist. Yes, that's creative. And are you her favorite comedian? Well, you're probably her favorite bifurcated artist. Yes, that's right.

But are you her favorite comic? You see, because, you know... I never asked her that. Call her. Let's call her. I mean, would you be upset if she thought, if you found out that she actually thinks you're okay? She doesn't think you're bad. But you're far from her favorite. No, I think she really does like my comedy, legitimately.

How important would that be for you? It would be important that she thinks I'm at least in the top 10%. Yeah, top 10. You gotta be in the top 10% otherwise. Is there a comic, you don't have to mention his name or her name, but is there a comic that if you found out she adored,

you would be upset? Dan, no. No But is there a comic that if you found out she adored, you would be upset? Dan Dadder. No. No. Is there any comic that I would? I don't think so. I don't think so. Okay.

Harrison's so nice. He's not going to say that. No, I'm not asking him to mention names. I'm asking him if there is some. Is there a comic? Oh, is there a comic that you think is just terrible, and if they were, and you'd be like, you'd have to question this woman's, you know, mental health or

intelligence if they thought that this particular comic was really, really funny. It's more the opposite, where like, I'll find something funny because we're all dark and twisted, so there's stuff where I'll find it really funny, and then she'll be like, that's not my thing. I think the Jackass movies are very funny. That's not her cup of tea. Yeah, the Jackass movies

are funny. I mean, you want to talk about innovative. I mean, those movies are fantastic. They did something that, as far as I know, had never been done before, which is I don't even know what you call that, but it's like we're going to hit each other in the balls or whatever they do or eat

ridiculously spicy food. There was always very smart structure underneath it. Like anybody who tried to copy them just thought, oh, if I just hit somebody in the balls enough, it'll be funny. But like the example I use was like when they had him, one of the guys gets branded, I think in the first or second movie. And if you look at it, they're doing it on a farm. There's cows looking and it sort of brings attention to how silly it is to brand anything.

And so there is an underlying, I'm not saying everyone has, there's not a social message underneath everything that Jackass does, but there is intense comedy structure and they're making points and statements. They're not just hitting each other in the balls. And that's what makes it so good. I saw it more as hitting each other in the balls, but.

I find that stuff difficult to watch. But I thought. There was a great essay about one of the bits where they have the guy they one of the guys dressed up to look like i mean this is right after 9-11 they put a fake beard on him and a turban and the whole bit is he's going to get into a taxi and basically suggested the taxi driver that he's going to the airport to blow it up and this is right after 9-11 and if that was any and that's more that's that's less jackassy and and just more like hidden camera. Well, the beauty of it is that's not really the bit.

The bit is that the taxi driver is equally in on it and is going to take this guy who thinks he's the one who's pranking on a crazy stunt course. So the actual bit is that he's doing this terrible hacky terrorist bit and he's the one who's actually the one being pranked. And then at the very end, the biggest reveal is that he's doing this terrible hacky terrorist bit, and he's the one who's actually the one being pranked, and at the very end, the biggest reveal is that the beard that they've glued on him are the pubes of everybody else in the cast.

So, that's how you take... I'm nauseous. I've just gotten over the stomach. But the beauty of that bit is a lesser show might have just done the little bit. Right, right, right. Of just, oh, I'm going to be a fake terrorist and see what the taxi driver will do. And that's not what Jackass is doing.

There was a whole essay about this. I'm not the first person to point this out. But that's the kind of stuff that I think makes Jackass Jackass. I don't remember that sketch, but that's certainly very interesting. This is why I think this is so interesting. Because who else would have read an essay? Like somebody would have said, oh, jackass.

Well, look, you asked me who to have on. I gave you one name. Yeah, you're right. One name I gave you. Now, what name was that name? Harris Greenbelt. All right. Well, thank you. You know, that was the name I gave you. I looked at the list of people that are here anyway, because that's what we do. We don't want to have somebody come all the way down here.

We want to make it convenient. So you happen to be on the show anyway. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But we started with shit. We ended with gold. Well, we did start with shit. We actually ended with pubic hair. There we go.

I mean, you kind of lost me a little bit with that. But that's me. That's sort of my thing that kind of grosses me out. But thank you, everybody. Thank you, Harrison, for being with us. Thank But thank you, everybody. Thank you, Harrison, for being with us.

Thank you, Perrielle. Thank you, Nicole Lyons, for sound engineering us. You're welcome. Podcast at ComedyCellar.com for all your questions, comments, and suggestions. What do you want to hear more of?

What do you want to hear less of? Are there guests? By the way, can we try to get... I emailed you to try to get Sarah Sherman, who just started performing here. She's also just started on SNL. Yeah.

She's very nice. And let's get her before she becomes too big to want to do our show, please. Thank you. She just started on SNL, so maybe she's just humble enough to actually want to come down here. Because she might get big, and then it's over. I think you underestimate how many people want to come down here. Now, I don't know if you have her contact information. Does this need to be on the show?

Yeah, I think so. It's harder than getting Sarah on the show. Getting a leather jacket shipped from Cancun to Manhattan. Well, we'll try to accomplish that. Podcast at ComedySally.com. Thank you, everybody. We'll see you next time. Bye-bye.