The Comedy Cellar: Live from the Table - Alana Newhouse and Lenny Marcus

Episode Date: April 14, 2019

Alana Newhouse and Lenny Marcus

You're listening to The Comedy Cellar, live from the table on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the Comedy Cellar Show here on Sirius XM Channel 99. My name is Dom Dorman. I'm the owner of the Comedy Cellar. I'm here, as always, with my... He's become a good friend of mine. Not that we ever talk during the week or anything, but Mr. Dan Natterman.

We see each other sufficiently here at the Cellar that I don't know that we need to talk during the week. But I mean, am I, and our guest right now. But you're welcome to take me out to dinner anytime you want. I do different times. We're doing this the way Howard would do it. So we have Lenny Marcus is here, one of the great comedians working in New York and the country. Thank you.

How many Tonight Show appearances? Three Lettermans. I'll stay with that. Three David Letterman appearances. You've done other stuff, too. Yeah, I've been on all these different wacky little shows as well, and I'm on hold for every other show until they want to use me, as always. And our new producer, Periel Aschenbrun.

How do you pronounce it? Aschenbrun. Periel is fine, though. Okay. I do want to give a shout-out to our dear friend Luca Mendez. I don't know if that's how you pronounce it, but he has... Sleaze with the fishes? No.

Luca Brasi. I don't even know if he's Hispanic, but I'm pronouncing it that way. He is a listener that wrote us not once but twice, and we appreciate his good, kind words. He's a fan, and I thought he might appreciate a shout-out. And, by the way, anybody else can get a shout-out too if you are sufficiently complimentary in your emails and persistent. And our email address, let's give that out, Noah.

Podcast at ComedyCellar.com Podcast at ComedyCellar.com for feedback. So if you like the show and want to let us know, send us an email. If you think the show could be even better, send us an email. If you think the show could be even better, send us an email. If you think the show is hopeless, there's no point in sending us an email. Because there's nothing we can do for you. Okay, let's get to the Lenny Marcus stuff. I'm sorry he's touring the world with Leslie Jones.

Can I just also, Noam, I'm sorry. Hold that thought, Lenny. I want to thank Noam Dorman. Apparently we got a raise during the week and I didn't even know about this. Another raise? No, the last raise. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you talking about? That's terrific thank Noam Dorman. Apparently, we got a raise during the week, and I didn't even know about this. Another raise? No, the last raise went. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you talking about?

That's terrific, Noam. Thanks for another raise. I don't know if you want me to give a money figure on the air. No. What room? The last night when I was here, not last night, but Monday. When was I here? I think Monday.

It was more than the last. And I don't come here during the week that often, but it was this and zero. We upped the week night months ago. A thousand bucks for a weekday spot? Thanks, Noam. I don't work here that much during the week, so I didn't realize.

The thing happened is that I did that and then I didn't raise the MC pay. Yeah, I heard about that. And then William Stevenson came to me. Yep. And he said, how about the MCs? And I'm like, none of the other.

I said, all right, well, how can I say no? So I raised the MC pay, and then he died. But the MC pay is still. Like he got his last little shiv in me on his way out the door. I'm stuck with the Stevenson raise. It's like the honorary. But because I love him so much, we will keep it at that rate from now on forever. So it's not disrespect.

Also, I think there's good karma coming from your generosity. What do you mean? Because things are going well in Vegas, I understand. Things are going well in Vegas, I understand. Things are going well in Vegas. Vegas was good. Dan and I have a fundamental disagreement about the show.

Vegas show? No, about the show in general. He's probably right. I find this kind of small talk, how is Vegas? To me, it's like you have the 30-second skip on the podcast button. Oh, really? Nobody wants to hear about Vegas? I don't know. To me, it's like, you know, you have the 30-second skip on the podcast button. Oh, really?

Nobody wants to hear about Vegas? I don't know. To me, it's like the 30 seconds. Maybe because it's about me in some way. But for some reason, I'm like, this is my 30-second skip. Dan, why do you look? Let's get to the racial talk. Oh, I see.

Because what we're doing is we're creating a world. And we're inviting our listeners to participate in the world of the Comedy Cellar. So that next week, they'll be like, I wonder what's going on with that Comedy Central show they've been talking about. Tune in and find out what's happening with Vegas. No, but this is where you're wrong. And this is where I think you've taken the lesson from Howard Stern incorrectly. When Howard Stern will create the world about it,

he does America's Got Talent. What he does is bring you into the conflict that he's having. The difficulty, the frustrations, whatever it is. So you begin to learn about that he's having. The difficulty, the frustrations, whatever it is. So you begin to learn about how he's negotiating this fucking nightmare that he got himself into when he knew better. Just to say, oh, the show's going great.

Nobody's interested in that. You want to say, well, are the executives at Comedy Central still making your life a living hell? Now you've got a show, but I can't talk about that. Are the guys at Vegas, are they still like, blah, blah,, but I can't talk about that. Are the guys at Vegas, are they still like blah, blah, blah? I can't talk about that.

I signed an agreement. You need a bumper. When are we going to hear about Comedy Central? Well, actually, I think that it's on. Oh, really? Wow, that's exciting. Dun, dun, dun. You need a bumper.

I think it's going to be on. When? In the summertime. Oh, wow. That's a big deal. Maybe also on the fall. To cut Ray Allen out the summertime. Oh, wow. That's a big deal. Maybe also on the floor. To cut Ray Allen out finally? Oh, my God.

That's a con. So Ray Allen is a co-producer. Hey. Anyway, so, yeah, no, Ray's in. They're all in. Oh, Asti must be miserable. But what do you mean you think? I mean, they said maybe or they said definitely?

Well, you're not at liberty to discuss. Noam is rolling his neck, everyone. I'm not at liberty to discuss, but I feel more optimistic than ever prior that our show will be back on the air, but we shall see. Stay tuned for a real announcement.

I'm like Pete Buttigieg's presidential campaign. It looks like he's going to run. We have a gay television show. We should not make gay jokes about Pete Buttigieg. presidential campaign. It looks like he's going to run. We have a gay television show. You know what? We should not make gay jokes about Pete Buttigieg. I support him. He's going to be great.

What are you talking about? He's fantastic. I love that guy. I'm with him top or bottom of the ticket. Okay, good. No, no. Well, I liked it. I liked it.

There's nothing wrong with that joke. Well, you know, I've actually been discussing this lately because I've been making some jokes like that. Yeah. And feeling really guilty about it. That's the world we live in now. I know. So go ahead, Dan. Go ahead.

Why does he keep talking about God? He's religious. He's very religious. He's very religious. Why are you shaking your head no? No. Because I don't need a president to be talking about God. Oh, my God.

Jesus Christ. What is with you? Well, a lot. Obama. Oh my God. Jesus Christ. What is with you? Well, a lot. Obama Obama. It's okay if you did it. Who was like, you know, the president you most wish you could bang. Obama his mentor was a Reverend Wright. I don't know if that's the president

I most wish I could bang. Well, he's the only black one. What do you got, Truman? So, that pretty much narrows it down. Wait, I want to hear the president she most likely would bang. I mean, who else? Maybe Obama it down. Wait, I want to hear the president she most likely would bang. I mean, who else? Kennedy. Kennedy, okay.

Kennedy was pretty hot. Yeah, double bag that one. So, anyway. So, anyway, Obama was quite a religious guy. He used to go to church every Sunday with Reverend Wright. He's black, though. It's different. Oh, my God.

So, you're a racist on top of being religious. All right, that's fine. So, go ahead. No, I like Pete Buttigieg. It's black, though. It's different. Oh, my God. So you're a racist on top of me and religious. All right. That's fine. So go ahead. No, I like Pete Buttigieg. He's a good pick. I'm trying to get him for this show. How about anybody else? I'll take it. So I have kind of internalized all this political correct stuff

in a way that I find interesting because I don't care about jokes like that. And not only do I not care about them, but I don't even think that they're... Like, if I hear somebody tell some Jewish jokes, I don't think it means they don't like Jews or anything. I think it's all...

I think it's context as well and who's saying it and where they're saying it. We're saying it on a comedy podcast. We don't really, you know... And all of a sudden now, I find myself thinking, well, what if he heard that joke? Well, I'm sure... How would it make him feel? Somebody out there will send you a letter now, I find myself thinking, well, what if he heard that joke? Well, I'm sure.

How would it make him feel? Somebody out there will send you a letter like I didn't appreciate that. Well, would he, would he? And the truth is, of my own indications, it seems like he wouldn't care.

He seems like pretty easy going about that stuff. Like he would take it in the spirit that is intended, which is just like, I was saying like, like comedians, you guys, you're so cynical.

Yeah. And you have, you're so lacking in real feelings that you wake up and you see the morning paper. It's like a Sudoku puzzle. It's like, okay, these are all the terrible, these are all the numbers. Whatever it could be. Child shootings, it doesn't matter. Molestation, these are just numbers.

And you say, well, how do I solve this puzzle? Right. And solving the puzzle is the joke. And you can't resist. And the fact is, but that is what it is. And it's not personal to the actual real people or real situations that exist in the world. But people are less and less willing to see it that way.

Let me just correct that for one second. I think we do have empathy, but that's the way we turn the pain immediately. We just turn it around quick. Like we don't have that waiting period for the, you know, time. Like, immediately a joke will come, you know, off of the thing. I don't think we, I think we have more empathy in some ways. Yeah, but I'm.

But we're trying to lighten the mood. But I'm also saying that, yeah, I believe you have empathy. Some people are trying to lighten the mood. Some people just want a cheap laugh. Yeah. It depends on the motivation. Well, you got to be careful because if there's no gravitas behind it, you're going to look like a jerk.

I think most importantly, what people used to understand but don't want to accept anymore is that you can have both at the same time. Like when my father was sick, dying of cancer, which was the worst thing

that ever happened to me, and all the comedians loved him. I walk into the... He's not dead yet. I walk into the olive tree and Nick DiPaolo says, who's getting Alexis? I mean, but he knows you.

He knows the context. He knows your dad. That's my point. So, yeah, of course we were all empathetic, but he couldn't resist the joke. But an outsider listening to that, if we were on a podcast and he hears Nick say that, he'd be like horrified. Yeah, I guess. And if you don't laugh immediately, double horrified. Yeah, I guess. And if you don't laugh immediately,

double horrified. Yeah, I had to laugh to get him to cover it. If you do a joke like you did and there's a guy in the front row, a gay guy in the front row, and he doesn't laugh, the comic goes,

well, he's laughing, so it's okay. Just give him something to be okay. No, everybody's got to be on board with the okayness of it. Yeah. What do you think, Dan? Sounds good to me.

All right. I'm sorry, Dan. Did you want to you think, Dan? Sounds good to me. All right. I'm sorry, Dan. Did you want to do a Vegas update? Well, I'm sorry. My back is not doing well today. Why? What did you do? I don't know what I did, but something.

You became Jewish over... No, it happened last year. Do we want to... I want to hear about Lenny touring the world with Leslie Jones. I'm finished. I feel for Dan. There's the empathy you don't have. You're the one with no empathy.

The guy's got a back problem he wants to talk about. I don't want to talk about it. I'm just trying to explain my pain look in my face. Normally it's because of Noam, but today it's because of my back. That's an unlikely pair. You and Leslie Jones touring together. How the hell did you and Leslie Jones get together? You're like best buddies.

Literally where I'm sitting right now here at the Comedy Cellar. One day Estee and I, when she walked in, she was doing Saturday Night Live. I didn't really know her that well, but Esty and I watch every Yankees game and we're watching the screen just like I'm looking at right now over your shoulder and Leslie goes, you know, I get good tickets to the Yankees. I should like baseball

more. You ever want to go to a game? She said that to you? Yeah. And I'm thinking, yeah, I would like to go to a game. She goes, give me your number. And then I gave her my number. I'm like, this is never going to, this phone's never going to ring. Yeah. And I'm thinking, yeah, I would like to go to a game. She goes, give me your number. And then I gave her my number. I'm like, this phone's never going to ring. And it rang. So we went to the game, had an amazing time, laughed the whole time.

And we did that a couple times. And then I threw her lines for a couple of jokes. I go, would you want some notes on the set I just saw? And she's like, yeah. And I gave her a bunch of notes. And I can't even do this for myself. The notes hit really well. And she's like, okay, who are you?

Nobody's ever heard of you. So it just really went well with Leslie. And then we sort of struck up this friendship. Wait, did she even know you were a comedian when she invited you to the game? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She had come in year after year. But she literally said when she had my number, you're Ryan, right? She thought I was Ryan Hamilton.

We all look alike to her. There you go. There's a joke. Do you think? Anyway, so it started from that, and then eventually it's like, you want to open for me and you want to come help me write the special and let's go on tour. Well, you said something that's interesting there, that you can't even do it for yourself. This is

common in a lot of walks of life where it's so personal to see yourself that you can actually be very insightful in someone else's music or comedy or whatever it is in a way that you can't for your own. I mean, I can't even listen to myself. Well, some people have just great stuff.

They leave stuff on the table. You can hear that. Some people are easier to write for. Yeah, I think so. Than others. I just think it was right place, right time, right material that I got to hear. Can I introduce? Go ahead, Dan. I just think it was right place, right time, right material that I got to hear. Can I introduce you?

Go ahead. I just wondered, do you think, I know you're married, Lenny, but do you think that romance would be possible between you and Leslie

under other circumstances? No, I don't think so. I mean, we're definitely different people. Obviously, my wife is very comfortable with that,

with me going out with Leslie just because she's met her a million times and we're just, we like opposite things. It's weird. We have, comedically,

we're on the same wavelength but I think everything else we're not. It's kind of a shame you're not attracted to each other because, you know,

like, it's the perfect cover. Like, you could actually get away with that one. No one would ever suspect. You could be seen together in restaurants. Your wife would never.

No, I think that's some of the reason why this works really well. She's got a great team with her that nobody has any issue. There's no weird tensions. It's a sitcom waiting to happen. You and Leslie as a couple. It's the craziest.

Wherever we go, people are like, what? Craziest duo I've ever seen. You've got to see the force. You've got to see all the rest of the troupe. You know, the assistant is this five-foot little white girl who's 25. And then you've got the gay stylist who's really out there. It's a fun group. Yeah, it really is.

All right, we've been joined in the center square by Alana Newhouse. She's the editor-in- chief and founder of Tablet Magazine. And that is a big deal. What is Tablet Magazine? Tablet Magazine, I don't want to describe it the wrong way. Tablet Magazine is like the number one online. The Jewish cultural magazine. Ah, there you go.

That's all you have to do. Number one online place to go to hear intelligent discussion of Jewish issues in 2019, I would say. And, I mean, I only learned about it because I was getting articles forwarded to me and seeing things that kind of like went viral. This is going to be our mask. She has a book. She's the author of a new book, The 100 Most Jewish Foods, out this month from Artisan. How about The 100 Most Jewish Podcast, number one? Live from the table, at least this episode.

Wait, I just want to say one thing. It actually comes full circle because I met Noam because I interviewed you for Tablet, and that was actually how we became. And I agreed to do that interview because I like Tablet. Thank you so much. Let me turn your mic. Talk a lot. Okay.

Okay. Okay. So, we're going to talk about Jewish foods or Netanyahu's... Well, I'd like to talk about something that I think would be of general interest to everybody. And I have elbow problems. No, I'm leaning back because of my back, so I... I everybody. Elbow problems. I'm leaning back because of my back. I know, I'm sorry. Both Noam and Lenny are Jewish, as am I, as is Periel.

That's why this is the number one most Jewish podcast. Jew-y. Nobody's skipping ahead now, Noam? But both Noam and Lenny are intermarried. Noam is married to a woman who's Puerto Rican and East Indian. Lenny is married to some Italian chick. Irish Italian.

I was wondering what were your thoughts on intermarriage? Now, a lot of discussion these days about the Jewish community. Noam is obsessed with his kids being Jewish, and I tell him it's not realistic. Okay, so I'm going to tell you a story. I converted them. I'll tell you a story. So when Tablet started, we started 10 years ago. And back then, every website had their own comment section. At some point, everybody turns it over to Facebook, but in the original iteration of Tablet, we had our own comment section.

And we would monitor. We were a new website. So we wanted to monitor who was commenting on the site. And there was a guy who kept writing these comments that were incredibly thoughtful and also polite. And I thought to myself... He's not Jewish. He's not Jewish. He's not Jewish.

So after the fifth or sixth comment, I do the thing i'm not supposed to do i'm not really allowed to do which is i actually go and find his email in the back end and i then email him because i just i'm literally too curious and i write to him and i say i am the editor of this thing and we just started it you know a year ago and can you tell me i see you've commented on a bunch of the stories can you tell me what's going on? Writes me, it's literally like you could have predicted it. He writes me and says, hi, yeah, I'm not Jewish and my wife is Jewish and she never asked me to convert. She just said that I had to go to all the holidays with her family and she wanted us to raise our kids Jewish. Except the problem is, is that I have all these questions and if I go to all the holidays with her family, and she wanted us to raise our kids Jewish.

Except the problem is that I have all these questions, and if I go to my mother-in-law, she's literally going to talk to me as though I'm hard of hearing. She'll be like, the exodus was from Egypt. And he's like, I actually want to know fairly sophisticated stuff. And so what I did was I started to read tablet because I feel like it made me fluent in the Jewish language. So the short version is, I don't know how to answer your question about intermarriage

because I'm not a rabbi or a rebbitzin or a rabbanut, whatever they call themselves. But I do think that intermarriage is an incredibly fascinating phenomenon that certainly in this country has created a lot of richness inside of Jewish life that I think people that were involved in the Jewish community did not necessarily predict. I also think that the focus on continuity and on making sure that our kids know what our traditions are is also incredibly

important. Robert, can you guys shut up? I'm sorry. Our podcast is funny. Alright. Alright. There's a few things here. First of all, are you married?

Yes. So, first of all, when the mom is Jewish, at least the kids are Jewish automatically. That's way easier. The reform movement follows patrilineal descent, too. So, the father can be Jewish also. Yeah, but the fact is, but then when you want to take them to Israel, you know, I, yeah, like Listen, none of us could go, I mean, at this point, like, I can't go to Israel and they'll consider me a Jew. Why? I can't.

So, basically, the Israeli, the chief rabbinate, the rabbinate in Israel has enormous control over deciding who's a Jew and who's not, which relates to who gets to get married in Israel, who gets to be buried in a Jewish cemetery. I would be.

But, for example, there are a ton of people who were converted by modern Orthodox rabbis in this country. These are Orthodox rabbis, and they would not be considered Jewish. They could not get a Jewish burial or be married Jewishly in Israel. Now, that is about a particular corner of Israeli life right now as far as I'm concerned.

I think the rabbinate should actually be lifted up and dropped into the sea, but anyway. But because I just don't think they should have political power. I don't think they should decide something as essential as this, especially when they're making the decisions in this way. That said,

this country is very different. Lenny, are you going to try to raise your kids Jewish? No, our kids are not going to be... You don't care, huh? I don't care. See, I couldn't do that. It was so painful to me. Thank God my wife was on board,

so I... Okay, this is... What did you say? I didn't know you were that religious. I had a spasm. Sorry. So I took my kids to get a conservative conversion. Uh-huh.

But, you know, I don't really believe in God. I shouldn't say that. I absolutely don't believe in God. Okay. And the ceremony is, and I talk about that, you take them to the swimming pool, basically, you know, the mikveh, but it's really just a little... Like a large bathtub. And you dunk them under the water and you say the magic words

and somehow it automatically... God gets the message and all of a sudden they're Jews. It's ridiculous. And after I did it, the first time I felt that. I said, this is ridiculous. I took them to Merlin to get the magic words. I know better than this.

Right. And then I proceeded to do it again with the next two kids because I couldn't, I can't escape it. It's ridiculous. What are you hoping for? Most of all. Absolution.

Well, Alana hit on it. No, it's the continuity. I want them... But that's cultural, isn't it? Let the man finish his sentence. She can't help that. She's a Jewish woman. I want them to be able to feel connected to Judaism if they want.

And if they realize that technically they're not Jewish, although reformed opinions notwithstanding, it's just going to make it that much easier for them to walk away from it or that much harder for them to actually embrace it. And I feel like embracing Reformed Judaism is pretty tenuous at the point where you're that not religious and that kind of open to a very loose interpretation of it and your mother's not even Jewish.

I don't see that really drawing that many people like my kids in. But this is all naive on my part. It's not. I actually think that the truth is that I think that what happened to well, let me say, I think that what happened to, well, let me say,

I think that what happened to a lot of American Jews in the last 50 years is that a lot of American Jewish leaders or communal figures made them feel deeply insecure about their own inheritance. But it's yours. Do with it what you want. And you should not question the way in which you feel you want to transmit it to your children, especially if that way feels magical to you. And the idea that actually, and also this notion that like you can't pick and choose. The whole thing is about picking and choosing. Pick and choose what you want. This notion that you have to take it all or nothing and what you have to take

is what we decide we're putting on the list had, let me just say whatever the intentions were of the people who transmitted that it had very toxic consequences because it made people feel deeply unattached to a thing that I think is theirs that kind of nails it for me. I mean, what she just said, religious-wise,

I mean, I went to Hebrew school, I was a salutatorian in my Hebrew school. That means second? Yeah. Where did you grow up? Ocean Side. There you go. So, you know, I mean, I just had it forced down my throat. I mean, for good reason.

My father escaped World War II, you know, and that's all he ever wanted. He was a draft dodger. Yeah. Get married to a Jewish woman, whatever. But that, you know, some of these things just won't happen. You know what I mean? It's just, so what was I supposed to do? Either not get married and go to my grave with it or stick to this crazy guns.

Wait, so can I tell you this crazy thing? There are a bunch of these kids in Israel who are the grandchildren and great-grandchildren of Holocaust survivors. And they've decided to get their grandparents and great-grandparents Holocaust concentration camp numbers tattooed on their own arms. I heard about that. As a way of memorializing their ancestors and their experience. Whatever else it means or doesn't mean or whatever. What was so interesting then was that they all were like, oh no, do I get to get buried in a Jewish cemetery now?

And there was a part of me that wanted to be like, you're walking Jewish memory. You literally did something and yet your first question was to be like, are the rabbis not going to approve? The answer's in you. It's in what you want to do. It's not, this notion of needing to get approval

from some other leader is crazy. Exactly. I've done with, and a lot of this, in a lot of ways in my life, I'm done with people telling me what's what. Like, like, Like me?

No, no, no one would have the argument all the time. Is the kid Jewish if the mother's not? That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Just because somebody came up with that? I mean, there's two parents. By the way, in the Bible, Moses had a child with a non-Jewish woman and then God commanded him to have

him circumcised. So it's actually, even in the Bible, there's been patrilineal examples. Yeah, I mean, I think my father even said, but once upon a time, it went with the men, not the women, and they flipped it. I don't know. So I just don't buy it. You know, my daughter will be whatever she is.

You know what I mean? Like, she'll understand Easter and whatever from those parents, and it'll probably be all the good rewards of both. But hanging out with me, trust me, she'll get enough Jew stuff. Can I use this to launch into my seething issue, the most Jew-y thing, and then we'll get off it? Sure. And I don't think Alana agrees with me. And I know Barry Weiss doesn't agree with me.

And I missed your... Cinnamon raisin bagels stink. Oh, my God, I agree with that. There you go. I'm just wondering what Luca Mendes thinks. Because he heard Our last episode Was Jim Brewer

And he was probably thinking Oh this fucking great man Brewer talking about Metallica I wonder what their next episode is Here we are Here we are The klezmerim Right

But maybe he's into it I don't know Luca I'm sure will Cause he He frequently Emails So I'm sure we'll know I don't like And this And this plays into my worry about my kids,

because I feel like my kids are getting older in a world where there's going to be a lot of pressure on them to keep an arm's distance from their Judaism. Because in colleges, in all the the in all the things that they're gonna travel through on their kind of trajectory right now the influential people don't like israel and and our are i think are hard making basically offer conners

out of anybody who feels jewish or close to israel uh... and again as a worries me as as not being born jewish that will i need the ship or not not jewish and what what i'm seeing everybody do that cares about the stuff they do in good faith is a comparing on the right they have this anti-semitism a b c and on the left they have entities and i think in my mind you

can convince me were wrong i'm not worried all about right wing anti-Semitism. I think it is a big canard, and I'll tell you why. First of all, I think that right-wing anti-Semitism comes from a lot of old discredited ideas. In the same way

flat-earthers are still around and will always be around, and that's discredited. Or whatever else might be discredited. Vaxxers, we're always going to have people who say vaccinations don't work. 200 loser Nazis walking around Charlottesville dressed up in costumes, whatever it is. This is not going to grow into anything. around Charlottesville, dressed up in costumes, whatever it is. This is not going to grow into anything. The first year they have 200.

The next year they do the march again, 20 people show up. More people showed up to the Flat Earth. I looked this up. More people showed up to the Flat Earth meeting than showed up to the— I'm going to disagree with you on this, by the way, when you're done. Everybody's going to disagree with me. On the left, it's not coming out of some old discredited ideas. These are new, hot,

righteous ideas, which are basically racist, which say that people of color must always take the side of people of color over people who are white. Israel is white, even though it's not, and colonialist, and Israel will always be in the wrong and they and and you add on top of that the fact that these people don't know

the first thing about even the recent history of the negotiations there how the peace process broke down and i spoke into people who who make a cause of this stuff is that you know how the occupied territories came to be occupied? No, they don't know. I mean, it's stunning.

And already colleges are saying they don't want kids studying, taking a semester abroad in Israel. And I mean, you can go on and on. I don't want to get boring about it. So when I look at my kids, I'm like, well, yeah, some crazy person could shoot up a synagogue and probably will again. But that, and I sent an email to them, I said, I'm like, well, yeah, some crazy person could shoot up a synagogue and probably will again.

But that and I sent an email. I said, right wing anti-Semitism rallies us. Left wing anti-Semitism rots us. I've noticed. No, you just noticed I wrote that down on the sheet here. OK. Anti-Semitism on the right rallies us. Anti-Semitism on the left rots us.

I've written that in an email. And I feel that's what they like. When somebody when they I've never seen Jews more proud of themselves as when there was that Pittsburgh shooting we got together we're Jews and we're loud and proud about it put it under Noam's greatest hits but on anything that happens in Israel

we're sheepish and we want to hide so Alana you're not going to disagree with me? I will say that I think my position is more nuanced than you assumed um but do you want to actually you seem like you had a reaction to it well the right wing side is from someone who had to hear that every day like i don't discount 200 people in nazi outfits ever i mean my whole family died because of this so my my father said, you know, a lot of people back in that day in Poland were like, this is nothing. And so I never will discount nothing

turning into like complete slaughter. I don't ever discount nothing in any aspect of my life either. But I don't discount 200 people. Now, I think, this is my opinion, we are insulated in New York City in the highest rate in the country. So, I mean, if I lived in Charlottesville and I had an apartment in Charlottesville and 200 Nazis walked in front of my building, I'd be pretty scared. Right, but they've always been. They were in Skokie. Yeah, but still, I'm saying that's a good thing.

It's not a good thing. Let me make this point, and then I'll let Alana say what she wants. I think if you were actually looking for the mirror image of left-wing anti-Semitism, this is what you'd see. Every time there was an NRA,

you know, a gun rights march, they would be complaining about the Jews. Every time there's a pro-life march, they'd be complaining about the Jews. Every time there's something about capitalism

that they want to fight for, they'd be complaining about the Jews because Every time there's something about capitalism that they want to fight for, they'd be complaining about the Jews. Because this is what happens on the left. Occupy Wall Street has to talk about the Jews. The Women's March, which Alana, you know, had that famous article that she'll talk about, they have to talk about the Jews. I mean, any left-wing Black Lives Matter has to talk about the Jews. But if there was, in other words, any hot new cause on the left,

they have to find a way to complain about the Jews. Yeah, I'm not thrilled with those people either. But I'm saying that's the mirror. On the right there's pro-life and guns and whatever their causes are. They don't talk about the Jews. Then you have the crazy Nazis in their parents' basement

wearing a costume. Okay, so can I? I guess I just want to step in and say that I really do feel like American Jews are now in a vice. And there are two opposing forces on either side. There is what I think is a very small but deep anti-Semitic strain in historical American Jewish life, um, that comes out of what like one of my favorite women in Boca calls those crazies in Portland, which like I just thought was like the I underscore that that actually is quite real and that the John Birch Society, white nationalism in this country is a very, very, very real tradition,

literally. It's actually woven into American life. And the hard part is that for a lot of American Jews, a president that most of them did not vote for seemed to be bolstered by not just those 200 people who could turn into 20 a year later, but the ideological leaders and underpinning and the ideas that they seem driven by. The fact that that now seems like it has political power gives it weight. On the other side, though, I do think that there's something taking root on the left, which, frankly, is where 80% of American Jews live. And the fact that that's where they live is very, very scary. For example, what do you mean? What do I mean by that's where they live?

No, but I mean, what are you saying? What's happening on the left? So, I mean, the easiest example for me to give is the Women's March, only because we wrote a big story about it. So the Women's March leadership have what I would say are pretty consistent ties to Louis Farrakhan. And the idea that actually Israel, not Syria, not China, which actually enslaves, at this point, millions of Muslims. A million Muslims in concentration camps. There was no other country, not Russia, that got named in the Women's March principles

as having been an affront to their idea of liberty and freedom except Israel. The idea that then you had a bunch of leaders from that Women's March showing up at every single event with Nation of Islam security around them. How do you think that made a bunch of Jewish women in that crowd feel? Those guys are actually pretty recognizable. And the idea that then they went and flouted on Instagram and on Facebook. They went to all of these events with Louis Farrakhan and sat there while he said these horrible things about Jews and then later Instagrammed about it in this laudatory way.

To me, I feel like traditional democratic politics where we were like, okay, we may have differing needs, we may have differing priorities, but the idea is we're all going to respect everybody's right to exist. All of a sudden, it didn't apply to Jews. And not only did it not apply to Jews, but when Jews raised a stink, for literally two years, nobody would listen. And they wouldn't actually, they kept saying,

oh, the only people who have a problem with this are right-wing Jews. All the right-wing neocon, Israel, blah, blah, blah Jews are trying to separate us. Except it wasn't the right-wing Jews. It was a bunch of left-wing Jews who actually wanted to be their deepest supporters and felt deeply uncomfortable. Yeah, and these are the influential people in society. These are lawmakers, professors, important people in business and industry. This is not these white nationalist hicks.

No, I understand. Look, this goes through comedy, too, and Dan can talk about this. When we do shows, if I make a joke about Israel, like things blowing up in Israel, I've done it for Israelis. They think it's hilarious. They just think we're some kind I've done it for Israelis. They think it's hilarious. They just think we're some kind of wacky. They think it's very funny.

You do it for American Jews at a temple, like a conservative temple. They take it very seriously. How dare you? So, I mean, these are people on the left, obviously not the right. So they don't, to me, Israel, like most of the people, and I've taken polls in comedy rooms, you know, how many people have ever been there? And a lot of these people give big money and have an opinion.

They've never even been there and seen what's going on there. Yeah, but hold up. I'm not talking about Israel. I'm talking about Louis Farrakhan who basically says the Jews are essentially poison people. That's about Jews who live in this country. No, I agree. It's not a religion, he called us. It's not about Israel.

And actually, their rhetorical move, which is to say, oh, this is about you defending Israeli tanks or machine guns. It's like, actually, no, I would rather not be called basically somebody who faked the entire Holocaust and caused 9-11. That's it. Here. Right here. You're right. I mean, the extreme on the left is, I don't think it's, I can't say it's as bad.

I mean, I can't weigh it. There's no weight. The people on the right are scary. They're just plain scary. No. And the people on the right, you know, the press just wants to,

I mean, 20 people showed up to, I've made this comment before that almost every comedian here tomorrow could draw 20 people. This was a march which was getting publicized on every major network. It was the second anniversary of Unite the Right march, and 20 people showed up, and yet, now if 1,000 people had showed up, rightfully,

we'd be expected to say, wow, 1,000 people showed up. That sounds like it has energy. But if 20 people showed up, we've got to pretend it didn't happen. Hold up, but Wait one second. I just want to say that you had a president who the people around him and him were actually tweeting, particularly around the election and right afterwards, a lot of stuff that was not, it wasn't far away from anti-Semitic tropes. It was really close. And that guy actually now has the presidency. Now, I'm not saying, I guess what I'm trying to say is,

I also feel like some of this is where the person who's feeling it sits. So, for example, I have a sister who lives in Knoxville, Tennessee. Where she sits, she might actually be more afraid of right-wing anti-Semitism because, frankly, it's what she would encounter. We're sitting in New York. We sit and go to dinner parties and hear everybody talk about Israel and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and we may feel something different here.

Well, I haven't heard of any universities anywhere in the country where being pro-Israel was a problem, except from a left-wing reaction to it. I've never heard of any university where the right... Sure, you could find some Klan guy out in the South which could hurt your sister. That will never change. I've met many people that have very strong anti-Israel opinions,

and I think they're unfounded opinions, and I think they're ill-informed opinions. I don't believe for a second that these people hate Jews. And some of our dear friends here at the Comedy Cell would fit into that category. Very hostile anti-Israel opinions that do not hate Jews. But the people on the right that hate Jews hate Jews. I agree with you. I think you guys are i'd i know i know i'm minority position my my position is this i don't i don't need to read their minds and know whether they hate jews or don't hate jews

that people are are very capable of hating jews having jewish for a new people are psychology is very mouth what i'm concerned about is that my children can grow up to be open and proud of their Jewish heritage and their affinity for their homeland of their people in Israel. I think that is tremendously threatened right now. I agree with you. And that is not being threatened by those Nazis who actually might put a bullet through one of their heads. I understand that. I think it's threatened by all of them. No. No. No, I think every time a Nazi kills a Jew, this is a horrible thing to say,

I think it cuts the other way. That's the only time we get sympathy as Jews. No, I have to say I agree with you. I think that what you're basically saying is that there's a difference between somebody murdering somebody's body between somebody murdering somebody's body and somebody murdering somebody's capacity to

know what they are and know who they are. And I do think that there are definitely spaces on the left right now, spaces that Jews felt comfortable in for decades. In fact, many spaces that Jews built.

And they do not feel comfortable in those spaces anymore. And it is actually going to be, I think, for us, I think we're going to look back in 30 years and realize that it was the fight of our life. That's what I feel right now. And then let me tell you where else my, by the way, just so I'm on record in case anybody who knows me listens to this and feels like I was afraid to say so. I actually don't think Trump ever tweeted anything that I thought was anti-Semitic, anti-Mexican, anti-Muslim. I think Trump... There were people bad on both sides? How about that one? You need to actually research that because I...

I've seen that clip a hundred times, Noam. I actually recently... That is irresponsible. How about that one? You need to actually research that because I've seen that clip a hundred times. I actually recently read it. That is irresponsible. Yes, but you didn't see that two sentences later he actually said, I just found this out myself for the first time, he actually said, no, I'm not talking about the white nationalists. They should be condemned unconditionally.

I'm talking about the people who came out to protest the statues coming down. He actually said that. I the all sent it to you afterwards but but having said that this is the next part of our government and and i came to this and i can't get out of my head so the pupil shows republicans are eighty percent sympathetic to israel that's the word they use in the victors or whatever that means the democrats are twenty nine percent sympathetic to israel now normally if you're in a political

party normally political party you would wish that the other party would adopt your views so i thought to myself well what would happen if i'm a jewish democrat what would happen if if the republican party adopted my party's views of Israel. All of a sudden, the Republican Party down to 29% of Israel. And then you have what could go into a free fall of just basically a consensus national opinion on Israel and all that could lead to. Because if both parties are only 29% sympathetic to Israel, you have a totally different world.

And I believe it could feed on itself. So explain to me the scenario in which the Republican Party's support of Israel plummets to 29%. No, I'm saying, I don't believe it could. I'm saying, hypothetically, if it were to. So what I'm getting at is, is it possible, you know, we Jews are programmed from birth to vote Democrat. Is it possible that the Republican Party is the bulwark against anti-Semitism that allows us liberal Democratic Jews to indulge our social justice id, that's the way I put it,

and the protection of this Democratic Party that does it like us? Because we know that the Republicansans they are they've got our back they give us all the freedom to engage all this crap that we want to engage in god forbid they should ever change their minds then we have an issue in the same way people in red in blue states are so condescending about people in in red states except it's their kids who go to fight in the army i think if we have a war, who's going to fight? A bunch of red parent children are going to go fight

while we blue people are blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I began to think, you know, I began to have like a cognitive dissonance. Like, how can I support the Democrats anymore?

I mean, how can I possibly when I know that if they had their way, the whole country would feel this way. Can I tell you, can I mirror something back at you? Yeah. So basically, your thought process,

which is particularly sophisticated, is actually something that a lot of people that I've been speaking to, particularly as I go around the country on this book tour, feel. There's two different ways to take it. There are two different strategies. And those people who are pretty involved in activism or in politics in some kind basically choose one or two. One way is to give up and go over to the Republicans.

It's a warm bath over there. So go over. It's an easy move. And it's, I mean, even though it's psychologically, I think, very hard for a lot of people. Once you go over there, I don't think it's as hard. Then there are other people who really believe that the whole point is to stay and fight. In fact, the whole point as Jews, what happened to us was that we liked having the opinion that the majority had, except that was never our role. Our role was always to force our side to be better and to confront their own hypocrisies and to make sure that they were a pure expression of the thing that they said they were going to be for us and for everyone.

And so for those people, they feel like they want to fight to make the Democratic Party and the entire left actually engage with what some people see as its increasing anti-Semitism and anti-Jewish impulses, particularly around money and particularly around Israel. And so it's basically, I think that the draw is a personality decision. Are you one of those people who actually wants to stay and start a ruckus

and see how far you could push your own side or are you a person who for whatever reason all of those things are completely understandable actually thinks like i want to go where they want me and where i can do good immediately when i walk through the door because i'm not fighting the majority. So I think that either strategy, if it were actually carried out, could have a strong impact. Certainly if the Jews up and left the Democratic Party, that would have a big impact. And certainly if the Jews all banded together and did fight like hell against this stuff, that would certainly have an impact.

I don't think the latter is ever going to happen. I think they're more likely just going to get co-opted and develop Stockholm Syndrome. I don't see Jews having the confidence in themselves anymore, and they've been let down by their parents' generation, who's already allowed the binds to Judaism to

fray so much. I don't see them standing up to the AOCs and the... But what are you going to do? What happens if you actually believe in Medicare for All, if you believe in the idea of a strong federal government? But what are you going to do? What happens if you actually believe in Medicare for All? If you believe in the idea of a strong federal government? Then go to the Republicans and fight for it there. That's ridiculous. Those people don't believe in any of that stuff.

And by the way... What does Medicare for All mean? I mean, you don't believe in Medicare for All. You want to end private insurance? I'm 100% not going to make this argument here. But the point is... Do you actually mean Medicare for All? You mean you believe in healthcare for all?

I don't even know. I don't know if I believe in this argument here, but the point is... Do you actually mean Medicare for All? You mean you believe in health care for all? I don't even know. I don't know if I believe in health care for all, by the way. But the point is that what I mean to say is you're imagining that these people are one-dimensional and that the Jewish part of them is the only part that's operative. The reason why they're Democrats is because they believe in a whole host of other things, and they also want to be Jews also believing in criminal justice reform, also believing in

a healthcare industry that actually, I don't know, covers people for the random things that they actually have in their lives. I would say I'm that person. And what is he going to do? He's not going to go and be a Republican. Let me tell you why. According to my father, and I totally agree with him,

from everything I know growing up with my father's background, who fought for the War of Independence and blah, blah, blah, after he escaped. My father says the Jews in Israel, Israel's not afraid if the popularity drops. They'll take care of themselves. My father was very confident in their technology. That's a lot of bravado. Bravado? Trust me. My dad knows a lot.

He knew a lot of people in the top parties there because my dad was very connected there. Yeah, you think that, and I agree with my father. Why not? Americans need Israel more than Israel needs America. Depending on what happens in the world. That's exactly what my father said. They don't need us at all.

The perception here. It's actually, yeah, you know how long ago that was? I can do that. It was a long time ago. Don't do the math because it's going to get me nervous. I think I did it right. The Jews are not afraid of this at all. I think they don't think the same way as that thought that we need Big Brother to help us.

Do you think that if the United States, one of the things everybody talks about, and anti-Semites love to discuss, is the loans that are given to Israel every year, $3 billion, $4 billion, whatever it is. Not loans. Not loans. Whatever they are. What do you mean whatever they are? It's different.

If I give you a million dollars and ask you to, because I'm giving you a million dollars to make me $900,000 worth of goods that you're then giving me, that's not a loan. I'm paying you for goods. Certainly. Anyway. Sorry. Well, I'm going to go back to my statement. Whatever it is, do you think, according to Lenny, Israel does not need it, could survive without it?

Do you believe that that's true? No, but America can't. America wants the weapons. A hundred percent. America wants the weapons, the technology. One second. Wait, the medicine that they come up with, the agriculture stuff. Ways.

My cousin is in agriculture. He gives us so many products. You let us off the path of a principle into like a hegemon. I feel like we were supposed to talk about something funny. Okay, this is the last thing I'm saying. Well, if you're going to make the argument you made about fight for Medicare for all that stuff. You'll hear from Tablet, not Mad Magazine. I want to be from Mad Magazine now.

I just want to say one thing. Then that's fine. I actually don't agree with that because I think that if we don't stand for ourselves, it means that the rest of the world looks at that and says, it's not that important even to them, definitely not important to us. Wait, wait, wait. Say that again. In other words, if people see the Jews turning a blind eye to this kind of thing against Israel and against Jews outright, and if it doesn't bother us, it's definitely not going to bother them.

But also want to say that if we're going to adopt that argument, that means that some Republican who turns a blind eye to when somebody around them says whatever it is about black people who look, I like the policies that we have to say, okay, fair enough. We're doing the same thing ourselves. We're not going to criticize. Nothing is disqualifying anymore. And we're not going to criticize them anymore. And if they want David Duke to run, we have our, we have our Ilhan Omar. They can have their David Duke. And we won't say boo because that's their right. And that's not the world we live in.

And we have to stand up for what's right. And it's more important in the short term than Medicare for all. And I do think that there is something going on that is worth noting, which is that the Democratic Party traditionally was driven by a particular kind of urban politics all over the country that was ultimately, it was profoundly conciliatory in nature, meaning you would bring all of the groups, interest groups of your city around the table, and the idea was not everyone was going to get everything they wanted, but everyone was going to get something.

That was actually machine politics. It was democratic machine politics that then elevated itself to the national level. I mean, obviously throughout the century and probably for the last time with Clinton. Since then, though, and I think that the internet and social media is a big part of this. Since then, though, there's just this idea that there's an orthodoxy. Yes. And you either say yes or no. Right. And whoever says yes, says yes. And whoever says no, says no. And there's no compromising. It's not a, okay, we're going to give this group one thing and we're going to give that group another thing, which is the way that urban communities that had to force different

kinds of people to live together had to work. Instead, we're like, actually, we're going to split you. In fact, we're going to fracture groups that had to come together, and we're going to pit you against each other. And we're going to say, in fact, someone's going to win. And you're going to walk away with what you want, and other people are not going to walk away with what they want. That sense on the left feels to me

to be deeply actually un-American. And I think that if Jews see themselves as stalwarts of the left and really want to make the left a better place, they will remember and remind the left that they were a

place for everyone. And they were a place where everybody had to walk away from that table feeling like they won something, even if it was a half a milkshake. The left has fully embraced a lot of the ideas that the right used to embrace. That it's okay to judge people by the color of their skin. The North has numerous other problems with the left. An Asian baby shall sacrifice 200 SAT points at birth due to its DNA. Now that's the way they see it, right?

And immigration is another area. Could we talk about a different issue altogether that would be more fun? Please. Congestion pricing. Do you have any views on congestion pricing? Well, I don't even know what that is. I'll get it. Now they're going to start charging people $10 to drive below 60th Street, which to me, so I love it.

You love it. So of course you're a leader. Where do you live? 72nd Street. He lives on 59th Street. And I don't have a car. This is it. And the city, we need less cars.

Charge them. So this is, you actually brought up exactly what I was going to say. First of all, so much of politics today is about, John F. Kennedy said, you know, ask not what you can do for your country, not what you can do for your country. No, no. So much politics now is about what other people are doing wrong and how other people should change how they live. Just tell me what you're going to do with the money. Yeah, are they going to fix the subways with it?

I look around New York here. I'm below 60th Street. And I was taking, I drive a very, I make a good living and I drive a Lexus. And I'm looking around at all the other cars below 60. A very good living. And I notice that these are not rich people's cars. I mean, you see some rich people's cars. By and large, I'd say 60, 70% are mid-level cars.

Can't have a nice car in the city. Which I take to mean that these are middle class people who are going to be having to pay $50 more a week. I think they're trucks. What do you mean? I think that the vast majority of those of the people that are driving into under 60th Street, a lot of them are delivery trucks. No, no, no, they're not trucks.

It's just cars. So you drive up 6th Avenue right now in a taxi on the way home. As Lenny pointed out, don't people use their shitty cars when they come into the city? The point is this. Never mind that you might have bought a house strategically to the highway exit.

Never mind that it's not convenient for you to spend an extra hour commuting, whatever it is. The point is they are... What are they doing with the money? Lenny, the party of the working class has decided to levy a $50 a week tax on the

poor people of this city. And it's stunning to me. You want to tax the super wealthy? Tax the super wealthy. Did you just meet Mayor de Blasio? Is he actually new to you? Just show me the proof what you're going to do with the money.

The problem is it's nebulous. If you say they're going to build another tunnel with it or they're going to build... This is like you. This is a problem I have with you. Now we're getting good. This is a failure of empathy. Now Luka Mendes is back on board. You don't drive.

That's right. You literally cannot put yourself in the position of a middle class family. Of course. What are you talking about? I'm a middle class family. That buys a house in Yonkers. I'm buying a house in Manhattan. Right.

It's awful. I have tons of empathy. What are you doing with the money? The subway is as well. All he has is empathy because he has no money. Right. He's buying a house in Manhattan. I totally get it.

I don't want to get hit with that money. And they don't live near the train station and they certainly don't work near the Grand Central where the Metro North comes in and it would take them an hour and a half extra maybe each way to get to and from work and now they're going to hit them with $10 extra a day. Yeah, it sucks. I'm sorry.

Right. But show me what you do with the money. No, that's not... By the way, you realize that you guys are saying No, that's not. If it was for something great. By the way, you realize that you guys are saying the same thing. All right. If it's for something. If they can show me what it is. Lenny is saying that if the money is used to, in turn, help the people that you say are being hurt.

No, no, no, no. For example, let me give you an example. To help him. That's what he said. Hold on one second. Wait, wait, wait. The Garden State Parkway was built. I just want to say.

Hold on. The Garden State Parkway was built with the tolls, and the money was supposed to be to build to pay for the road. So once they paid for the road, they should have taken away the tolls. But no, they left the tolls. But at least it was tangible that they built the road. Now, if they would have done what they said they were going to do and take it away, everybody would be on board. By the way, I love that you actually made our conversation more narrow.

Like, actually talking about Jews. Actually, now we're talking about like one street on 58th Street between 6th and 7th. I don't like the way the table over there. There's a table over there. I'm looking at you, Chris DiStefano, and I'm looking at you, Robert Kelly, and I'm looking at you, Mr. Jared Freed, and I see that I don't like the attitude, the energy that's coming from that table. Should we talk slower?

I know, that's Keith Robinson over there. Let's talk about Jewish... Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. No, no, I want to finish the congestion pricing discussion. Can I please say something? Yeah. So actually, I don't... I feel like it's a terrible thing to say, except that I actually align with you on everything tonight.

Oh, my God. The thing about the congestion pricing is exactly what you brought up, which is where is the money going? And the idea that they instituted congestion pricing, which they've been trying to do for, I don't know, as long as I've been compass mantis. But... I told you, no Y I've been Compass Mantis. But well not

Compass Mantis is I'm kidding. I told you before the show, just ease off on the Yiddish. I didn't say the word treif once. The idea that we did that while also letting multi-millionaires and billionaires

have pierre-a-terres that are larger by like six times the room that we are currently in and not pay the proper tax rate on those spaces and instead what we're gonna do is actually tax somebody who makes $200,000 a year and lives in Secaucus feels to me insane. There's $2,000 a year and $200,000 a year now considered like piss? I don't know.

The way she said $200,000 a year living in Secaucus. It's not having $50 million and a $7 million penthouse somewhere in the middle of Midtown. I don't know anything about property taxes. Are people not paying appropriate property taxes?

No, you can't buy a place in New York. No, and in fact, that's the reason that we have all these foreign nationals who actually... Sorry, but now you've actually got me on hobby horse. The reason why you have basically all of Midtown, all the residential properties in Midtown are owned by people who don't actually live in them. Which, of course, then creates a sense of the opposite of what New York was. People have a right to buy apartments and not live in them.

Yeah, then pay your fucking taxes. Are they not paying their taxes? No, they're not paying enough. And actually, they get forgiven. I'm sure they're paying quite a lot more than anybody at this table. I'm not 100% sure about that lot more than anybody at this table. I'm not 100% sure about that.

If you zoom out, New York simultaneously laments that it's less and less middle class. It is. While making it less and less hospitable for the middle class to live there. Absolutely. 100%. You're saying making it inhospitable for the middle class to drive in here. To drive in. To live. To shop.

Let me tell you about my opinion on congestion pricing. Obviously, it's a complex issue. I've read about it as much as I can because I do find it interesting, oddly enough. I do find traffic interesting. It's one of my things that interests me. But from what I've read... What's it doing on the West Side Highway right now? First of all, we have a resource.

It's called the Streets of New York. It's a limited resource. Do we let people use it for free or do we charge? I mean, a capitalist would say we have a limited resource. Let's charge people what it's worth. Number two, if I could finish my congestion pricing rant, it will be part of my new special. From what I hear, there's numerous benefits to congestion pricing. First of all,

the people that do drive in can actually get to work at a reasonable pay. Oh, it's great for me. I couldn't care less about the amount. I'm going to buzz around New York faster than ever. I consider it a win. And the people that wish to buzz around faster now have that option. And they are who? Rich people.

No, I don't know. Rich to pay. What's it going to be? I mean... $50 a week? $50 a week? I don't know. Rich to pay? What's it going to be? I mean... $50 a week? $50 a week? I don't know. Is that the price? They're talking about $10 a car. $10. Like, listen, I mean, I'm reluctant to speak this way because I don't want people to think I'm being vulgar in some way,

but just being honest. Like, you know, I'm actually looking forward to having less traffic because traffic is horrible. I hate driving in traffic. Traffic is... And it's also bad for the environment. I would pay $50 a week to have less traffic. From what I hear, less traffic not only has benefits for the people that are driving in the traffic,

it has benefits for the buses. What? Can I finish my sentence? Yes. Buses can not move. I can jog faster than a bus moves in this city. Who takes the bus? Not the rich.

So traffic is moving. Emergency vehicles can actually get to the poor guy who's having a heart attack. Because they can't now. There are actually fewer buses coming down. So the reason why the buses are not moving. Well, maybe if we had less traffic, we could improve the bus system. The point is that you're going to improve. I think you guys should branch out and have the transportation authority head on your show.

I would like that. Because I think there's really super interesting things to say about traffic in New York. I also think that it's pretty clear that the place is a fucking playground for the rich. Absolutely. Every single storefront is now going to be shut down to become a Duane Reade or a bank because and and they will hold that thing open for six months or eight months or a year because actually it's better for them to wait for a big corporation with some faceless brand to put that put in that space than to give it to somebody who's on that street, who might actually be producing something that's good for that neighborhood, but who can't pay six times market rate.

It's nuts. You know, the market is what it is. You know, I mean, New York's an expensive place. Yeah, I mean, you know, I don't see any way around that. Politics is about moving your levers so that you create the city you want to create. There is something to me very disturbing about a family that starts a life somewhere with a certain expectation of how they're going to get to work and where they live and they choose a place to live based on all that. And they buy a car and all that stuff.

And then their fiduciary, the government that supposedly cares about those middle class people, just hits them with $250 or $230 more a month. That's my life right now. And by the way, and now try to have a child. Exactly. Because actually, they're going to charge you

$11,000 to hold your newborn baby in your arms. It's insane. How is that? Well, what about... What is that? What is that? Actually, the insurance companies

now charge you for skin-to-skin contact with your child. Now, that's bullshit. I read all about that. I know all about that. We didn't have that one at all. Skin-to-skin contact requires...

I've read this. With skin-to-skin contact at the hospital, they charge you like 50 bucks or something. Whatever it is. I don't know what it is. Depends on your insurance.

Why should they be charging you for skin-to-skin? Because you need... Because these women are coming out of a procedure, I guess a C-section, whatever it is, where they were drugged

to the hilt and they need extra people monitoring the situation. Can we talk about Jewish food? Two big things are congestion pricing and C-sections. As far as congestion pricing is concerned, a lot of these people, first of all, you have expectations and things do change.

Taxis had an expectation that they would not be completely upended by Uber. That's business. As far as people moving, you know, there's public transportation and carpooling. That's business. As far as people moving, there's public transportation and carpooling. That's the arrogance. People who don't drive, just take public transportation.

I got to get up in the morning. I got to get my kids to school. I got to get to work. It's freezing cold. Dudes, you need to be a little more open to thinking about things from other people's shoes. But you're not thinking about it from the people's shoes that are being affected by the pollution of traffic, by buses that can't move, so people that have to take the bus can't get anywhere because those buses do not move.

That is the world as it's always been. And whatever. That's the world it's always been. I'm saying there's two sides to it. Maybe you're right. But you're not considering the advantages of congestion pricing. There is nobody I know who moved into New York City who moved in before there was traffic everywhere. You knew there was traffic in New York City.

And by the way, there's still going to be traffic in New York City. It's just whatever. So you're saying we should abandon the whole – we shouldn't even try to reduce traffic. Wait, wait, wait, Dan. Hold on a second. I also think that – like I think it would feel different if we felt something like congestion pricing happening inside of a context where a lot of other things seem to be moving in a different direction. are not getting what they want out of their contract. After de Blasio touted universal pre-K as one of his signature education gems, right? There are those of us who actually live in this city

and the idea that we know that my garbage truck does not come until very late in the day, sometimes the evening of the day it's supposed to get picked up. My kids' preschool teachers are about to be on strike. Like, then there's congestion pricing, and so my aunt who lives somewhere can't actually get into the city.

These things create a holistic sense of how the city functions. And you can't look at them so much as individual moves. You have to look at them as how the city feels. And right now the city feels, I think, to a lot of people like it's not, like it's a playground for rich people, many of whom don't actually ever live here

and many of whom don't give a shit about street life or about neighborhoods or about community. And those of us who do are not finding hospitality or help on the part of our government, our literal local,

local government. And that, to me, feels insane given who this mayor is and what he claims to stand for. Why are you clapping when you're Mr. Free Market? No, because I believe

the government is causing a lot of these problems. But watch how quickly it's going to change. So I believe the congestion pricing is going to stop in the evening, I hope. But let's just say, for the sake of argument, that it stops traffic down in the village,

bridge and tunnel, whatever it is, and I have to give out half the spots that I used to. Because people won't drive in? Yeah, because business goes down. And now all of a sudden, you guys get fewer spots because of congestion pricing. Oh, shit.

Now it's a different issue. Now all of a sudden, I might have to chip in. I might have to chip in a little bit. If it kills the business life of the city, obviously I'd be against it. No, other businesses are doing great. Why is this the only business that's not doing great in your scenario?

I'm just saying that if the congestion pricing meant taking... If it were great for the city and helped people overall, then I'd lose. Just imagine, hypothetically, it took $40 a week out of your pocket. And you'd say... If it was good for the city, then I would be upset. Of course I'd be upset. That's right. Look, if you told me that I was going to die tomorrow, but that no kids would ever get cancer again, I'd be fucking upset.

But it would be a word. So you would support it even if it meant money out of your pocket? If I felt it was best for the city, yes. Death to Natterman. But there's a lot of things that suck for me that are good policies. Just because it sucks for me doesn't mean it's not a good policy. That's why I'm not in charge of these decisions. And all I'm saying is,

if I felt that that policy was contributing to a general shift in how the city treated the people that wanted to be rooted here, I would be completely supportive of it. Look, not everybody can be rooted here. Even if narrowly, I didn't agree with that one. We're over time,

but I want to talk about one more issue while we got everybody. What about this horrible outcome that only like seven out of, I don't know, I'm going to get the numbers wrong, out of thousands of black students who took the entrance exam to Stuyvesant in those very good New York City public schools. Perriott looks puzzled. Perriott, why are you puzzled? Why are you puzzled? Why are you puzzled? What is this issue?

Talk, talk. Don't be shocked. Because Perio wants to talk about... The details are escaping me. Do you know the details, Alana? Kim Kardashian being a lawyer, I think. Basically, they have these... Bronx Science, Stuyvesant, there's a few public schools, high schools,

and the lowest number ever of black students reached the threshold on the entrance exam to be accepted. And the numbers are stunning. Like, seven kids at Stuyvesant. They couldn't get there because of the congestion. Five kids at Bronx Science. And now there's a lot of pressure on them to scrap,

and there already has been pressure. I want to know why Perrielle looks upset and or puzzled. Not at all. Now you're not talking? I'm not upset or puzzled. Yes, you are. So Perrielle thinks they should scrap the exam, correct? No, I think that black kids have a disadvantage, full stop.

So I think that that's what needs to be worked out. Right, but in the meantime, you would scrap the exam. I don't know. That's not my area of expertise, but I think that most importantly is that a lot, not all, but a lot of black kids have a disadvantage, and that's a huge problem. No, you're going to make me answer something that, like, I can't answer.

I thought you might have an opinion on something. I think Betsy DeVos will figure this all out for us. Yeah. So this is what I think. I wonder if I can finally lose Alana. I think you lost this just trying to shake me i think the incentives are actually quite perverse here i think that uh this is actually a um a rare opportunity that we're forced to look directly in the eyes the truth of how badly we're failing these black kids. What?

You thought you were going to lose me on that? Wait, wait. I didn't get my whole point. Oh, sorry. And that if we were to, the biggest incentive that anybody has to change these exams is not the parents of the black kids who are not being educated properly. It's the unions, the mayor, and the city who would love to just change the standard. Then all of a sudden next year, 50 black kids are in Stuyvesant. And presto chango, the problem is gone.

And we'll never have to think about it again. I think that if my daughter was not able to pass an exam and the principal came to me and said, don't worry, Mr. Dorman, we're just going to change what she needs to pass, I'd be like, hell no, you need to teach my daughter so she can do it. And if they change, if they get rid of these exams, there will be no chance that these black kids are ever going to be taught. They need to keep the exam where it is, and then they need to fix the problem. And the problem will to be taught. They need to keep the exam where it is, and then they need to fix the problem. And the problem will only be fixed. The only evidence that

the problem is fixed is when they start to pass the exam as they are now. But the unions would love to camouflage this whole issue, and they dress it up as we're doing what's good for black kids. How are you doing anything good for black kids? By making

permanentizing, they're underachievement. Because once you tell them that you don't have to achieve any better, that's it. Why would anybody do any better? No? Yeah, so. Norm, I gotta tell you,

I... I can't lose her. You can't lose me. I'm on you like a filter on fish. I really am. Had he told you what he really believes, he would have lost you. Go ahead and know him now.

He might have. That is what. Go ahead. He might have. That is what I really believe. He might have, but I have to say that. But it's more nuanced than that. No, it's not. But what he's basically saying is that the test is the iceberg. Right? It's what we see on top.

But there's a whole thing underneath the water that is where the problem lives. And if you really want to make change and to create a situation that becomes fairer and more just, that allows actually for people to express their own skills and gifts, no matter who they are. What if despite everybody's best efforts,

the test results are not perfectly equal. Let's get there. I think it would be useful to have somebody who is super thoughtful from the African-American community here who could talk about actually what they feel are the legitimate challenges from inside of their communities. Well, the reason we invited Lenny instead of an African-American is because this was going to be a very heavy Jewish-oriented podcast. And so we did not invite an African-American to be with us. And part of the problem is... Why?

Why did we not? Yeah. Because with this podcast was... I have to be honest with you. I was against it. I just thought it was too Jewish. I so love you, too. Thank you.

I think you're very lovely. I'm not against you in any way, shape, or form. I just thought, you know, we have an audience that's, they just listen to Brewer talk about Metallica. They're like, fuck, yeah. I wonder what they're going to talk about next on that fucking. I'll talk about Metallica. And I don't, we're trying to figure out who we are as a podcast.

And we're trying to find that middle ground between. We're all so Jewish, though. You can't get away from it. Between worthy discussion, political discussion, and comedy. And we're trying to thread that needle as best we can. If there was a bad choice here, it was Lenny.

Yes. Thank you. I totally agree. If you had told me, I would not have come. I'm not going to tell you why. I do not want to talk about this stuff. Hold on. I didn't want you. Yeah. I didn not have come. I'm not going to tell you why. For the exact reason that girl, I do not want to talk about this stuff. Hold on. I didn't want you. Yeah.

I don't want to talk about politics. Who did you? You wanted Barry Weiss. Yeah, because Barry Weiss. You wanted to give it even more. I'm going to tell you what. No. Lenny, I voted for you.

Nice, Perry. Anything else? By the way, if you would have told me, I would now vote for you. Okay. Hold on a second. I wanted Barry

because they're friends and we could talk about a million things with Barry. Barry doesn't write about only Jewish things. Well, then we could have had that discussion at our weekly meeting

that you don't want to have. Hold on. See, this is your show now. And Lenny is, of course, one of my all-time favorites. However, if we're going to have Alana, I would have had

like a black dude on or something like that so that we want to... Exactly. Right. I totally agree with you, Noam. This is the first time ever. And last week.

How many times have I pleaded with you, have a weekly meeting by phone or in person to discuss guests? By the way, do you want me to come back? I would love you to come back. By the way, I met your husband, didn't I? I met your husband. No. No, I didn't meet your husband.

I mean, I emailed Noam a list of good topics. I don't think he reads them, to be honest with you. You can email them to me. I don't think he fucking reads them. I think he comes here and he looks at the top. Oh, we're going to discuss it. No, he looks at me. He's like, where's the paper? I do read the topics. Listen, I have to tell you something. If you want to have a discussion...

One of the things that we were supposed to talk about that we didn't talk about because you guys talked about fucking congestion pricing is... Now it comes down to it. I asked you what was your... It's because we're supposed to talk about Jews and comedy. Why are there so many Jews in comedy? We'll talk about Jews and comedy. For the radio show, we'll cut out some of the earlier stuff,

and then we'll go. I just want to say that Dan's reasons for this podcast are not exactly the same as mine. A big reason that I like... I know. I deal with that every day. A big reason that I like to do the podcast is because it allows me to talk to interesting people who I would not get to talk to easily otherwise. So that's a big part of what I get to do the podcast because it allows me to talk to interesting people who I would not get to talk to easily otherwise.

So that's a big part of what I get out of the podcast. And interestingly, as much as we didn't get any email about the Brewer interview or whether we get a lot of emails about when we talk about political stuff. Yeah, and they're like, can you guys

please stop talking about so much political stuff? I'm just kidding. Why are there so many Jews? First of all, you know, Barry made the point that Jews are the capitalists and they're the communists. You know,

like talking about anti-Semitism. They're funny and they're not. But the fact is that Jews are, but it's kind of true. We were the capitalists and we were the communists.

Like, we are kind of into everything, including comedy. Why do you think there's so many Jews in comedy? Lenny? Do you have a theory on that? I do.

We've been through a ton of pain throughout the years. What pain have you been through? I had to listen to my father who escaped World War II my entire life saying we're going to get killed, we're going to die, we're going to suffer. Everything you go to temple is not. Every song is. Were you very funny when you were a kid? Everybody's dead.

Everybody's dying. Everybody's sick. Everybody's complaining. If you don't lighten the mood, you're going to explode. That's it. That's why. Everything is funny. Were you very funny when you were a kid?

Did you lighten the mood? Same thing. No, my father lightened the mood, but we would laugh at like, everything to me was just stupid because everything was about death. So I would just make fun of every last thing. And then they would go, why can't you be serious? You know, why don't you be serious? Because all you do is serious.

So like this podcast that I had to listen to, Congestion Price, if you think for one second of my fucking life, I want to talk about Congestion Price. Holy shit. Who's listening to this? Not skipping ahead. You're telling me your audience is people? I hope they talk about Congestion Price. People listen and drive in their cars.

Holy shit. Fair enough, Lenny. You may have me on the congestion pricing thing. Go ahead. I'm going to answer that by telling you this Holocaust joke that I heard this week. That's a question I have. I want to come back to it.

Elie Wiesel dies. My father knew him, by the way. Overrated. My father didn't like him either. There you go. Enough with the Holocaust, Ellie. That's what he used to say. So Ellie Wiesel dies and goes to heaven,

and one of the angels comes and says, God wants to have a private conversation with you. And he says, okay. And so he goes back and starts talking to God. God starts asking him all these questions. They have a two-hour long discussion. At the end of it, God looks at him and says, okay, tell me your best Holocaust joke.

And Wiesel's like, okay. Proceeds to tell God this joke. Doesn't land. No laugh. Literally, God's not laughing at all. Wiesel looks at him and goes, I guess you had to be there. That's not bad, Dan.

Yeah, it's pretty good. The point of it is, and the reason why I love it is because it's literally, like for me, I think that the thing that was magical about Jews in Comedy was their ability to actually make jokes that seemed incredibly specific

very wide. And it was because there's this Deanne Arbus quote that's actually on the wall of my office. And it's the more specific you get, the more general it'll be. And that's what Jews did. They were like, how about we actually talk about pain, which is a thing that we experience in a very particular way that sometimes can be overwhelming. But in fact, there's a truism of life. Now, what about Jerry Seinfeld? There's not a lot of... I'm not hearing pain in his act.

There's a lot of anxiety and neurosis in Seinfeld. Yeah, that's another aspect of us. And it's also... And what's pleasurable about that comedy is the luxuriating in it. Like, he literally just lives in it like it's a fur coat, which is fun,

because you're like, wow, actually, I could literally just imagine that my bullshit perseverating about what time to get somewhere is actually funny or valuable in some way. That, I think, was something.

I mean, I literally, I have an argument to make that Jerry Seinfeld actually created a new American value. Look, I don't know why Jews got into comedy. I can only tell you why I got into comedy. Pussy. Now. She didn't like that, Dan. Do you see the irony?

Do you see the irony? Dan goes up to heaven and says to God, let me tell you this. Do you see the irony? Do you see the irony? Dan goes up to heaven and says to God, let me tell you this. Do you see the irony? Your joke flopped just like Elie Wiesel's to God. It might have flopped here, but I guarantee it. They're laughing like a motherfucker. In the car, Dan.

I agree with you. Let's talk about boozy. Do you see the irony that the network executives thought that nobody would be interested in Jerry Seinfeld's show because it was too Jew-y? Of course! Yeah, I could see that. Well, and here we are. Their episodes had a Jewish sensibility in a sense, but the episodes didn't delve deeply into most of the episodes. And in fact, most of the characters weren't even Jewish,

although they were played by Jews. Yeah, but the Jews are famous for like the Talmud or whatever, analyzing every last sentence a hundred ways. I hear what you're saying. I'd be interested to see. Once again, as always, we want your feedback. So please, once again, what's that? I could be wrong.

And I'm fine with every week Talmudic discussion. Please write in. No more letting get a black dude. Tell them you're calling about congestion pricing. And then you give them your opinion. I can promise you it doesn't bother me. I will talk all day and night about Judaica, about Yiddish. More blacks on this podcast.

No Jews. Kashrut, if that's what the people want. So what was that? But I don't know that that's what they want. So what was the address again? The email address? Will you let me say without interrupting me this time? I'll try to do so.

I can't guarantee it. Podcastcomics.com. So anyway, we're going to wrap it up. Alana Newhouse, the editor-in-chief of Tablet Magazine, has a book, The 100 Most Jewish Foods. And my lovely, wonderful Puerto Rican wife, who, by the way, was the one who signed the kids up for Hebrew school without even telling me she was going to do it, who learned how to

make brisket and every other aspect of Jewish food for the Passover Seder. She's fantastic. She is going to get a copy of Alana's 100 Most Jewish Foods for, I'm going to get it for her.

It's sold on Amazon, correct? Yeah, it's sold on Amazon. I'm going to get her a copy, but you have to sign it for me. Absolutely. So I do want to say one thing about this book. Yeah, yeah. So the book is so relevant to the conversation.

I mean, I don't think there's anything about congestion pricing in it, but a lot of the people who've written for the book are not Jewish. This is like Elizabeth Warren's cookbook that she did, Pow Wow Chow. This is a deeply Jewish book that has kind of insanely amazing contributors to it. And the idea is, is I think the book plays on what feels exciting about, for some of us about being Jewish, which is the idea that we're both

insiders and outsiders. Like we are both like fundamentally in charge of certain industries and influential and also many of us have a lot of security in our lives. We also have this tradition that feels like a tradition that's rooted in insecurity and in oppression. And those two things can live at the same time. You don't have to pick one. And frankly, to be perfectly honest, there are a bunch of non-Jewish contributors to this book, including Amanda Hesser and Eric Repair and Marcus Samuelson and Tom Colicchio.

Wait, Colicchio's involved? Colicchio wrote the Whitefish entry. I don't know who those people are. And Action Bronson did our Chinese food entry. I mean, this stuff is amazing. And Action Bronson did our Chinese food entry. I mean, this stuff is amazing. And looking at them, I mean, Action Bronson's actually, he's Jewish, but looking at how non-Jewish contributors saw Jews and saw the Jewish contribution to American culture was so moving, in part because that was our point.

We wanted to come here and give America something and give it a gift. And the idea of actually seeing on the other side Americans being like, thanks for your gift. Like, that brisket was really good. I don't know who we're trying to give them a gift to just get the hell out of Russia. We're way off.

It's going to be an editing nightmare. Thank you very much, Alana. Thank you, Lenny. Thank you. Thank you, Perrielle. Thank you, Dan. Good you very much, Alana. Thank you, Lenny. Thank you. Thank you, Perrie. Thank you, Dan. Good night, everybody. Good night.