The Comedy Cellar: Live from the Table - Big Butts

Episode Date: August 13, 2021

Dr. Constantino Mendieta, who basically pioneered the Brazilian butt lift and comic and Trump impersonator, Bob Dibuono.

This is live from the table, the official podcast of New York's world-famous comedy cellar. Coming at you on Sirius XM 99. Raw dog! And on the Laugh Button Podcast Network, Dan Natterman here coming at you. From the studio, we have with us Noam Dorman, owner of the world-famous comedy cellar. Perry L. Ashenbrand is with us. She's our producer. And we have a noted comedian and impersonator and most notably Trump impersonator, Bob DeBono. Bobby D. Hey, thanks for having me, buddy.

So, Bob, if we can get first of all, no. And by the way, thank you. Noam sent out an email regarding my novel to all the comedy seller mailing list people which i guess it's got to be a million people no no it's over a hundred thousand though oh that's i thought it was like a minute anyway i've gotten about i've sold about 40 books as a result of that email as best as i can calculate that's pretty that's significant so that seems like a pretty good ratio. And I don't know how many people actually open the email. So, you know, in terms of calculating the other. I can tell you how many people opened it.

We sent out two emails, one for your book and one for like just our regular shows. And we got more people open your email than the shows actually. It's close, but more people open your email. Well, thank you again for that. And of course, my novel, Iris Spiro Before COVID, is available on Amazon and barnesandnoble.com too, I guess. I don't know how- I'm reading your book, Dan. What's that? Because I'm reading your book and I can't put it down. I mean, I fall asleep because I'm tired when I read, but I do that with anything. I fall asleep to Tolstoy. It's not a reflection on you.

But I'm really anxious every night to go continue reading it. But my question is this, I was reading it on Kindle and it's free. Like it's part of the Kindle. Like if you're, if you're a Kindle member or something, how do you get paid when they give it away for free like that? That's an interesting question. They, they, they do it by page. You know, believe it or not, when you read on Kindle, Amazon knows how many pages you read.

Every time you turn the page on a Kindle, that information goes to Amazon. So they know when you start reading, when you stop, when you're sleeping, when you're awake, if you've been naughty and nice, they know everything.

So I get like a thousand page reads, I get $5. I mean, it's not that much, but if like all the people that read it. Um, you know, if, um, I like combined, if it's like 10,000 page reads, I'll get like 50 bucks, whatever it is, whatever. So should I pretend, should I just go through the pages all day? You could do that. You could do that.

Just to get you paid. Yeah, you could do that. I can set up a macro, a computer macro. So just all day long, read your book. I could do that. You know, I have, I know how to do that. Well, yeah could do that. I could set up a macro, a computer macro to just all day long read your book. I could do that. Well, yeah, go ahead. I'm not going to stop you. I did have a couple of vaccinations, as you recall.

You did? What do you mean? To get an appointment. Yeah. Anyway, so I would just recommend, I would highly recommend Dan's book. It's really good. Thank you, Noam. just recommend, I would highly recommend Dan's book. It's really good.

Thank you, Noam. And Noam's not a guy that, you don't finish most books, right? Or you don't, you usually give up. I try to finish novels, but I usually don't even finish.

Like I never got through Confederacy of Dunces. I'm trying to get through that, but I did get through The Stand by Stephen King, which is very, very long. And I got through that, but yeah, I don't usually finish.

I definitely don't finish nonfiction books. Well, so I'll consider it an honor if you do finish it. And feel free to leave a... I also want to tell the listeners before we get to Bob that it's so autobiographical. I mean, the character is written

not to resemble Dan and his looks and whatever it is. But the stuff that the character is feeling, I mean, this has got to be what Dan Natterman's feeling. It's just, it's fascinating. It's a fascinating insight into Dan Natterman. A lot of it is. Yeah. I'd say it's 60 to 70% autobiographical with, and there's a lot of it's exaggerated.

And obviously my family life is very different in the book. The character's family life rather is different than my own. And of course, Noam is in the book. The character's family life, rather, is different than my own. And of course, Noam is in the book. I don't know if you've gotten to that part. First of all, you don't really have a huge dick in real life. And second of all, the club owner is a little bit too chewy for my taste. But other than that, I'm kidding. Yeah, the club owner is is I mean mean i basically i i kind of um ripped off

noam's story and uh i think i'm protected legally because i don't say anything negative about you i don't care okay bob de bono is is uh when trump was elected bob de bono's life was completely changed bob tell us about that i know you've been on the show before, but for those who haven't heard your story. Well, I was I was as a comedian in my standup. I used to do and always do like impressions in my standup. And so I was working on an SNL audition and I was like, I got to do something contemporary. I can't walk in there doing Al Pacino.

And that would be kind of hacky. And so people were like, God, you got Trump. It is before Trump won. He was running and he would be kind of hacky. And so people were like, God, you got Trump. It was before Trump won. He was running, and he was a buffoon to everybody. So everyone was like, oh, you got to do it, Trump. You got to do it, Trump. So I started working on it. After four months, I get it down.

I pitch it to Rory Albanese, who was like one of the producers, showrunners over at the nightly show with Larry Wilmore. And he's like, yeah, let me show it to Larry. He's like, oh, Larry loves it. And within two weeks, I'm on Comedy Central. I go in, I do a live read in front of the writers. They all love it that night. I'm on the show in front of a live audience

in front of the world. And then every week I started coming on, I signed an exclusivity contract with Comedy Central to be like their Trump. And it was like, it was amazing. Like all of a sudden everything changed. And right before Trump wins, the show goes off the air. And I'm like, Oh my God, like this show had so, you know, this really had legs. If Trump, you know,

especially with him winning and the show a month before it goes off the air. And I'm like, I can't believe this. Cause that show was so, you know, it was all about the news of the day. And so now I'm thinking, well, my phone's going to be ringing off the hook because like everyone's going to be calling me SNL. I mean, everyone's going to want to Trump. And the irony is that nobody called me. And I believe and I believe that there was such a hangover that people like when he was running, it was he was a buffoon. It was funny. But when he won, people got so angry that he won. They didn't want to bring someone on to make Trump funny or likable. They wanted to control it. So all the late night shows, if you notice, other than SNL,

they wouldn't bring on a Trump. They would all do the Trump themselves. You know, Colbert, Trevor Noah, Kimmel would do like a call in, but no one would bring on someone to do the Trump themselves, you know, Colbert, Trevor Noah, Kimmel would do like a call in, but no one would bring on someone to do the Trump character other than SNL. And of course, they do it, you know, for the ratings and with Alec, you know, who they're very well connected to. So then I went into this kind of like malaise. I was like, I can't believe like I here I am. I work really hard in this character. And this is like the most polarizing character in the country. And nobody's calling me. And then after a couple of months, other things started opening up. I went on The View on ABC. I did The Voice of Trump on Murphy Brown on CBS for their reboot. I did. I got a call from the manager of YG, a hip hop artist, YG. And he's

like, hey, we're doing a tour with rapper Kendrick Lamar, 2017 around the country, sold out arenas starting in Sacramento, California, ending in, uh, in, uh, in Florida. And, you know, I have 30,000 people a night and I didn't even know who Kendrick Lamar was. I thought it was like a linebacker for the Ravens. I was like, who's that? They're like, no, he's a, he's like a, he's like a big deal. You don't know hip hop artist Kendrick Lamar. And I was like, no, I don't. So there I get this email. They're like, do you want to come tour with us? We want you to come out on stage as Donald Trump every night for 30,000 people. And you're going to do Trump. And then right after you do Trump, YG is going to come out and sing a song, fuck Donald Trump. So lo and behold, you know, a week later, I'm like, well, as an artist, I'm like, I got to do it. I don't know where this could lead to. So I go out there and they kind of sold it to me like, oh, you're going to be doing like staying in a hotel. Then we're going to take the bus to the gigs and you're just going to go

on stage for like three minutes every night and do Trump. Well, lo and behold, I'm living on a bus with YG, the rapper, and all of his buddies that are all Bloods gang members from Compton, two strippers and two white guys that are like roadies. You know, they're like the grips and the guys that do. So I'm living on a bus for three and a half weeks and there's like 10 of us and nobody's talking to me. The manager, he's this big, super nice guy. But everyone, they all all of his buddies from Compton, number one, they're legitimate Bloods gang members. So they don't trust white guys to begin with if they don't know you. And I'm Trump and they hate Trump. So every time I'm here, I am on a bus and I'm like, wow, these guys are really like hardcore.

This is like legit guys, gang members. And even when I was out and I was like trying to bond with them, I'm like, look for three and a half weeks, we're living together. I want them to know, like, I get, you know, I get them. I like these guys. But what's that? You're down with the struggle. Yeah. I'm down with the struggle. Okay. I feel like when Vostas that joke, I'm down with the struggle. Okay.

Okay. I know the struggle. I'm a Jew. Okay. So anyway, I'm on the bus and even when I'm out of makeup, they'd be looking at me going, yo, fuck Trump. Yo, fuck Trump. Fuck Trump. And I'm like, no, guys, I'm a comedian. I'm just doing a character. I'm not Trump. I'm just pretending. Yo, fuck Trump. Fuck Trump. And I'm like, no, guys, I'm a comedian.

I'm just doing a character. I'm not Trump. I'm just pretending. No, fuck Trump. You Trump. You Trump. Fuck Trump. And so for three and a half weeks, it was like I was bordering on getting killed. But I the one thing that was the resounding thing was that they needed me because they couldn't kill me because they needed me every night to come out as Donald Trump. You were so you were there was no hotels. You were sleeping on that. We slept on that bus. So every night I would go out, you know, YG would open the show. I would come out for three minutes. He'd come out after me, sing, fuck Donald Trump. There'd be an intermission. And I'm going out during the intermission. I'm like a celebrity. People are coming down from the rafters, autographs. I mean, people are lining up. I mean, we're in a

read. It's 30,000 people to show. Then our Kendrick Lamar would come out. Then we get back on the bus and just head like six, seven, eight, 10 hours to the next city. And we did this for three and a half weeks. I stayed in a hotel, I think one night in the three and a half weeks. And literally- You had showers on them and stuff. And not, not only was there no shower and I'm thinking, you know, why cheese makes a lot of money. I'm thinking we're going to be like a real classy. We were on a bus that not only was there no shower,

they said to me the first day, they said, by the way, if you want to go to the bathroom, you can go number one, but if you got to take a dump, you got to ask the bus driver to stop the bus. So you got to it becomes a big thing. Yeah, right. And then I'm like, well, and all these guys are like, we want to get all the, you know, Compton buddies are like, we want to get to the goddamn gig. Don't be slowing down this bus. So I stop eating because I'm like, I ain't going to be shitting.

Not on this bus. I ain't stopping no bus. How did you shower at the we shower? I would, you know, everything was kind of unorganized. So when I didn't, I would shower at the arena. We'd go, we'd get into the next arena at like 930, 10 in the morning. I would go in the arena, shower shower and then I would disappear all day, go to like a Starbucks with my little computer and come back at six o'clock,

seven o'clock, go to the locker room and get dressed. And then we'd all be in this giant locker room getting ready. And the, you know, the show would start at like eight o'clock, but I stopped eating. I was like, I ain't eating. I ain't stopping this bus. Everybody else had to stop the bus too i mean yeah rapper shit as well yeah yeah the thing is that the rappers are all friends and they don't like me they don't either they don't know me i'm some white guy i'm not from the hood uh i'm not part of their circle and i'm donald trump so i was like i ain't i ain't

dealing with and they were like testing me like they had no boundaries. Like, this is how you slept. So you're on a bus and there's 10 of us. So you have basically I don't know. I don't know if you guys have been on these buses, but there's basically like a cubby. So you slide into your bed. You slide. It's like a pizza oven.

You just you can't sit up in it. You just slide in and you go to bed and there's a person above you and a person above that. So there's three, three, three, and then another three, three, three. So there's like maybe 15 beds or something like that on the bus. So you're living on top of people, but it's not like this would be hard living if you lived with your family on a bus like this, but you're not even living on a family. You're not, you're not even like this, but you're not even living on a family. You're not, you're not even like with people that you're friends with that might be kind of annoying after a while, but you're with people who already don't like you. They already don't like you and you're living with them on top of them. Very bad money. I mean, you don't have to

answer it, but I don't usually ask, but I just feel curious. How much money do they have to pay somebody to do some of your describing? Well, they, they have to pay somebody to do something that you're describing? Well, they came to me and said, what's your rate? And I talked to my agent. We had to put in like a, you know, a death tax, a death tax if they killed me. So suffice it to say, despite all this horror, you were happy with the gig. So it was the most, you know, look, you're in front of 30,000 people a night as a comic doing anything, performing. I mean, it's the most invigorating thing you can ever do. I would rather die than be in front of 30,000 people.

Here's the deal. I'd rather be dead. I wouldn't rather die, but that's not what would invigorate me. What invigorate with me would be if I was being well paid. Yeah. So I give a fuck about being in front of 30,000. So I had that. I was on that fine line of like, I didn't want I didn't want to lose the gig because there are people out there. They could hire. They could also do Donald Trump. So I don't want to lose it. But I also needed to get paid because. But again, they kind of sold me a bad bill of goods. They were like, oh, hotels, some some bus, but hotels, some bus.

But it was all bus, very little, if not no hotel. I think we passed a hotel. We stayed at a hotel for three hours. Was there a no poop clause as well? Yeah. And I didn't know any of this. I didn't know that you couldn't take a shit. And, and again, I could have stopped the bus. I was just kind of afraid because they already didn't like me and no one would talk to me. There was one guy.

Why don't you try to time your shit to when the other guys are shitting? Well, I could do that. I could do that. And so and then you just had, you know, you just had a little curtain where you slept. So at any point, someone just would they would just open my curtain and just while I'm in the middle of sleeping, just open my curtain and be like, yo, where's my slipper? And I'm like, what? What are you talking about? No, what slipper? Yo, my slipper was right here on the floor with my slipper. Yo, man, you got my slipper with my slipper at motherfucker.

And I'm like, dude, I don't got your slipper. And it was like they were testing me like they always wanted to see if they could like get me and they wanted to work me over. But I have a question. Is it is you you do Trump, but your Trump impression kind of makes one feel that you kind of like Trump. It's not a ridiculing Alec Baldwin. Trump's an asshole impression. I mean, it's almost a lovable Trump impression that maybe betrays some sympathy you had. Like, like talk about that.

Yeah, absolutely. So look, every impersonator has their own approach when they do an impersonation. Some people that impersonate they like to do a cartoonish version. Dana Carvey was very big at that. He was a cartoonish impression. You would take an impression to blow it up tenfold. And that became the impersonation. Other schools of thought when they impersonate someone is actually almost like method acting.

You become that person. You try to channel that person, the way they think, the way they talk. And you try to get, you know, get every nuance of that character. So it's like watching a good magic act. If you watch a really good impersonator, the impersonation is so good that almost like you know it's not really them, but you're willing to take the ride. And then I think it's got even more efficacy when the person's telling jokes. It's even funnier because the person is so good at what they do. There's nothing worse than a bad impression because then you're like, oh, the jokes are

kind of good, but the impression is terrible. So my always my approach is doing the same thing I do with my dad that I would do at the dinner table. I just become that person and then let the jokes, you know, kind of be the icing on the cake. So when I started working on Trump, I'm not political. I'm really an independent. I've always saw myself as more of a Democrat. I voted for Hillary in 2016. But when Trump won, I just play Trump the way I Trump would show up at

a rally. And if you love Trump, you're going to go, that's my guy. And if you hate him, you're going to go, oh, my God, that is so what Trump would say. What an asshole. And so and I found that balance because I've been able to do both. Like all the TV work I do is strictly very, very liberal. I just did Kimmel last month, which was making fun of Trump. And then meanwhile, like I did the Georgia boat parade and, you know, and I'm doing Republican conventions. So last question about this on an election night, you had to be pulling for Trump, right? I mean, you care about the country. Absolutely. Yeah. I didn't care about last question about this uh on an election night you had to be pulling for trump right i mean you care about the country absolutely yeah i didn't care about the country at that point i don't blame

you no i mean as a comedian when you work really hard you know who thought trump would have trump was first a buffoon and then when trump won people got scared And so that's when really that's when the polarization really, I feel, took place is when he won. And I wasn't looking at it through that lens. I was just looking at it through the lens of being a comic that created a character. And so I thought it would I was like, hey, you know, I'm sick of politicians. Yeah, let's see what the guy can do. I didn't know, you know. So, Mr. President, this January 6th thing, what were you thinking? What the hell is the matter with you? Well, it's really horrible. If you look at the fake news, the terrible, you know, the fake news is horrible. And they're the

enemy of the people. I think we all know that. And January 6th was a great day, was a tremendous day. And I don't know if you know this, Noam, but we had one of the greatest turnouts, perhaps in the history of the country and maybe even the world by far. I don't think anyone comes close. And frankly, I think it was bigger than my inauguration, which, by the way, was bigger than the birth of Jesus Christ. We have Thank you. Thank you. have... Thank you.

Thank you. Please. Thank you. We do need to introduce our guest. Please watch us on YouTube because the faces are just as good as the voice. Okay, go ahead. Go ahead, Dan.

Sorry. Dr. Constantino Mendieta, who we can all thank for all the great butts we're seeing in Miami and anywhere around the world. He perfected the Brazilian butt lift and even wrote the book on it that all plastic surgeons have to read before diving into this surgery. He's been featured on the Doctors Inside Edition, Daily Mail TV, Access Hollywood, Extra BBC TV and many more. And he's here to talk about the transracial plastic surgery as well, which has been in the news of late. Please welcome Dr. Constantino Mendieta joining us. How are you, Dr. Mendieta?

Good, guys. How are you? Thank you for having me on the show. This is fun. Well, we're glad to have you with us. It's too bad you couldn't come see us in New York, but this Delta variant is sort of busting loose all over the place and changing everybody's plans. I was actually at a wedding at the end of the month that I won't be going to because of the Delta variant, and also because these are cousins that I don't speak to anyway. They don't speak to you but in any case um yes let's talk about um this new trend in plastic surgery the butt lift ah look at you jumping right into the butt i like it well i love i like big butts and i can't lie but uh i don't like them too big i actually like uh pleasantly round but not overwhelming.

You know, it's interesting because a lot of people started thinking, well, I don't want big butts. And it's not really about the size of it. It's more about the shape. Sorry, my wife's calling me. Hold on. Yeah, there we go. So the thing is that it's not really about size, but Jennifer Lopez, Kim Kardashian, boy, they really turned it into something. I mean, Jennifer Lopez showed up in that green see-through dress in 1999. And that just sparked a revolution around the world. I mean, this became a phenomenon. I mean, nowadays we do about, I think 300,000 of these procedures around the world when it comes to the butt. The butt's the new breast.

So it's really popular. I mean, hugely popular. And it covers every ethnic background. I mean, I say a third are African-Americans, a third are Caucasians, and then the other third are Hispanics, with 10% being Asians. So it's pretty crazy the way it's going. Now, which African-Americans, nevermind, I can't even talk. This is too radioactive. African-Americans want bigger butts? Yeah. Can you believe it? I mean, they want shapelier butts. So, but yeah,

they do sometimes. I mean, so it's really, it's been a phenomenon. You got to remember that in the States, people get attracted to things that are a little bit over the top or not, not attractive, but they, they draw attention. So initially people just wanted the big butts kind of like when the breast came out, they wanted big breasts, you know, Pamela Anderson, Dolly Parton. These were the girls that everybody talked about in terms of breast. And so the butt kind of took on the same craze.

Now it's starting to come down. They don't want him as big, but in the beginning, the bigger, the better for the butts, you know? And what about the, I mean, Asian women, Asian people tend to have flatter, but I mean, you can say, you can say this as a, as a person of science that this is correct, right? Asian people tend to have flatter butts. We've got to be correct. So we're going to take it to science. The answer is yes.

They tend to have them and the asians are interesting because um they don't want big butts they want shapier prettier perkier butts it makes them look taller uh the minute you start widening a buttock it'll make the person look a little bit shorter so a lot of the the asians want to look a little bit taller so they want more of a narrow butt more of an athletic looking buttock so every culture has got their own desires and what's fascinating is what we can do today because we take your own body fat which now we call the liquid gold and the most dreaded part of the human body which was fat for the ages ever since you could remember uh is now the magic in plastic surgery because i can take your fat and redistribute it kind of like taking the backyard

and putting it into the front all the trees so it's rearranging the furniture rearranging the trees and I'm able to put this fat so like in men I can create the Adonis procedure I transfer fat into the biceps the triceps the deltoids and I just totally transform these guys or you can put it in the breast you can put it in the butt and the calves, the hands, the penis, the vagina. Hold on. I had you a vagina, didn't I? So what can you do for the penis? I want to ask a different question, but what can you do for the penis?

Well, we can make it thicker or longer. So longer, you can usually gain about an inch or two, but thickness, you can make it pretty wide. So one of the things that you do is you take fat and you inject it into it to make it a little bit thicker. People are really doing this like a lot? Yeah, well, it's starting to become more popular in men. Now, here's what's interesting. You got to be careful because plastic surgeons have been shot for two procedures, rhinoplasty in men and penis surgery in men. So you got to wear a bulletproof vest whenever you do these things.

Because if they don't come out right, the men freak out. Yeah. Oh, my God. They freak out. Yeah. But I would imagine that if you put fat around a man's penis, then even when it was erect, it would still be kind of spongy and soft, right? It wouldn't be

rock hard. No, the fat takes on the property of where you put it. So if you put it around bone, it'll feel like bone. I mean, no pun intended, but if you put it around muscle, it'll feel like muscle. So fat is an interesting matter because it just takes on the properties of where you put it. So it doesn't feel spongy and fat. It just feels normal. But when you were in medical school, was this what you wanted to do? Or how did it come about that you went into this particular field? Yeah, well, the penis wasn't on my mind, if that's what you mean. But- Well, but plastic surgery on your mind? Oh my God, listen, I was like five years old. My uncle was a plastic surgeon in Nicaragua.

And I watched him reconstruct the war victims. And I said, you know, that just to have the ability to reconstruct a face, redo a nose after it's been blown off. I was just fascinated. I mean, I'm only five years old, but I was fascinated. I was hooked. So ever since I was little, I knew exactly what I wanted to do, which was this. And are you doing that kind of surgery as well? The people with accident victims and this, this sorts of things. Oh, heck no.

You know what? The butt jumped in the way. So I started wondering. But I hit my, so my wife, my wife, I married a Puerto Rican woman. She,

she always had a really great butt and now she's concerned that, you know, as you get, as she's getting older, it's, it's, she says, I haven't noticed sweetheart that it, that it's falling a little bit bit, a little cellulite, whatever it is that happens naturally.

But this is my – she was actually going to come on this show and show you her butt. But because I'm on vacation, you can see I'm not in a normal background, and we just didn't do it. But this is the thing. Like when you decorate a house and you when you when you fix up a renovated house, you fix up one part of the house, you expose that the other part of the house looks worse. Like when you start fixing up a part of the body, doesn't it then look out of whack with the rest of the body that's aged? And then it doesn't look like a chain reaction of surgeries that you want to have. That is a great question. Well, first of all, let me address the butt, the flat butt. As we age, we lose fat from certain parts of the body. And that is the hands, the face, the breast, and yes, the butt. Men tend to lose their butt at around 40 years of age. And that's where you need to put more money in your wallet so the butt looks bigger. But at any rate, that's

where we tend to lose the fat from. So your wife is absolutely correct that as she's aged, the butt's kind of deflated. But we don't lose fat where we want to lose it, which is like around the belly, the love handles, the outer legs. It's kind of like hair. You lose it in the front, but not the back. So you can take the back hair, move it to the front. And that genetics of that hair is to live forever. Those fat cells that live around the stomach, the waist, the outer legs, they live forever. So that's why I can take them, put them into the buttock and rejuvenate it. Now you're right. There's a harmony that goes with, with this. And what's interesting with plastic surgery is that if you're successful and the patient becomes very happy, it does a

tremendous thing on the self-esteem. So now they start looking at other things that they can do. And so it does become a little bit of an addiction sometimes just because you keep on bumping up that, that the self-esteem every time you do something. And then as you listen, we don't stay young forever. So you keep on aging and now you're open to plastic surgery. So that's always an open door that you're looking at throughout life. But do you ever, I mean, given that, do you ever say to a patient, look, I don't think this is healthy. I think you look fine. And do you ever try to talk them out of it or refuse to do something? I mean, if a patient wants. There was one patient in the nursing home that I said that to. Yes.

What did she want? She was 105. Listen, there are patients that you don't operate on because they're not psychologically ready for the after effects or for the procedure itself. Typically, people that are in a very fragile state, people that have gone through divorces, people that aren't emotionally really stable or ready for changes in their life. And there's something called the body dysmorphic syndrome, where you've got a little tiny little thing, and you don't even leave your house, because you have a little mole on the tip of your nose, those people, you really will never make them happy. And so there's a little bit of an art i mean it's not just we're not just surgeons with the scalpel we were psychiatrists with the scalpel a lot of the times so we really got to be able to discern the thing is sometimes you got what 15 20 30 minutes

to try to read a personality and to see if they're ready for this kind of a surgery sometimes there's obvious telltale signs that you say oh boy there's no way i want to operate on them they come in with tons and tons of pictures. They lay them out and they say, I want this, but I don't want this. And the same picture. So there's people who don't operate on for sure, for sure, for sure, for sure. But the majority, I'd say 98 percent of the time, they're people that are ready to go. So what about these people that, you know, like this, this influencer who said that that he was transracial, and he wanted to

become Korean. I mean, it's obvious that I mean, and there are multiple cases like this, where you see somebody who's obviously had, like, I don't know, 20, 30, 40 surgeries, and it's just insane. Right. You know, that's an interesting topic because here's the thing. Now for years, Asians have wanted to look more Western. As a matter of fact, they had this double eyelid surgery where, um, because they're born without that lid on the upper part, they want to open up their eyes and they want to look more Western. And in Japan, they do about 187,000 of these surgeries. And around the world, they do about 1.3 million of these surgeries. Wow. Double eyelids.

Huge. Now they're trying to become Western. Some of them are trying to open up their eyes. But they're trying to go from one race and trying to look like a Westerner. And they're trying to accommodate. Now what's happened is at the high, we're going the other direction on the highway, where a Westerner wants to look more Asian Asian and it's created a tremendous amount of buzz. Now I've listened to the guy and he sounds very eloquent, he's very well spoken and I really,

he just relates more to that culture and likes their features and wants to be. I think they overshot it and doesn't look like Jimin which is singer, but he looks more like Kim Jong-un. So I haven't really had a problem. Where I do have a problem is when people want to look like somebody else. Then you don't need the scalpel, you need a sofa and you need to talk to a psychiatrist, I think, because you know, you're trying to look like somebody else is very very different than trying to get some features that you find attractive or that you enjoy i have a question isn't there a guy out there that's trying to be like a human barbie doll oh my god there's a barbie i can right there's a guy that guy's always in the news yeah i mean listen i am amazed at what we can do with my profession

I yeah they look pretty that's pretty wild how crazy they make them they look they look like dolls I I don't know how they did that frankly I gotta go read the book on that what about what what's your take on um Michael Jackson uh he only had one nose surgery they say yeah right so you know that and that's almost like a body dysmorphic he got to a point where i thought he looked really good but then he kept he kept chasing perfection and that's where you start getting into problems and it just became overwhelming and obsessive but so you yeah that was tragic go ahead well he looked good when the thrill he looked really handsome uh when the thriller album came out of that era that was you know 83 84 but did he have had he had surgery at that point yes he had multiple rhinoplasty not just one i mean i was like 30 or i don't

know how many but um i know that it for sure wasn't one um and but he looked really good at thriller but again you start chasing perfection and as a surgeon looked really good at thriller, but again, you start chasing perfection. And as a surgeon, you start looking at it and you start saying, well, can I change something? And then you kind of get weaseled into doing it. And then you end up just creating disasters afterwards. And that's the problem. Sometimes being able to say no is difficult for us. And that's a lesson that we keep on learning throughout our entire career. And there's no legal or ethical hearing or anything for a,

for a plastic surgeon who, who does performs a surgery on somebody that they really shouldn't do the surgery on. Well, that's where the attorneys step in and they start suing you. So that's where it really comes down to. And then if it's a major, major, major issue, then you might have your board of medicine that looks at things. But just because you operate on somebody doesn't necessarily put you in that

category. But unhappy patients will sue. Well, and sometimes it's hard to say no when there's money at stake. We know a fellow that had to live on a bus and couldn't take a shit for several weeks. Why is that? Well, this is our friend Bob DeBona. Yeah, I should have gotten an ass transplant where they closed up my ass. He was on a tour bus opening for a rapper,

and any time he had to go number two, he had to ask the bus driver to stop the bus. And I was too afraid to ask, so I just held it in for three weeks. But the money was good, so we did it. So that, what I'm looking at is not the belly. He's just bloated from not pooping. Yeah, but you did something for Bob's belly. By the way, this picture, these beautiful breasts behind your backdrop there.

Yeah, you like them? Are those real or those are? No, I give a lot of lectures around the world. And so some of my pictures that I put up there. No, those are Photoshop things. So you look. Let me move my head so you can see the boobs. If I came to your office and said,

Yeah, I want to see the boobs. If I came to your office and said, Doctor, because my nose is a larger nose, and I said to you, Look, I can't get laid. The girls don't like me because of my nose. If I had a better nose, I'd be getting laid left and right. Now, would you say, ethically speaking, would you step in and say, Look, if you're not getting laid, it ain't my nose. If I had a better nose, I'd be getting laid left and right. Now, would you say,

ethically speaking, would you step in and say, look, if you're not getting laid, it ain't your nose. I can change it, but that's not the issue. What would you say to me? I would say to you, you're coming in for the rectal, aren't you? No, I'd say, listen, I'd take a look at your nose. And if there's something I can do about it, I said, listen, let me try to get you laid. That's why I would do your nose. Cause I'm looking at it. I don't know where you want, but let me look at your nose, man.

I'll send you my phone number. Let me see. No, I don't want to know. I'm just saying, I used to think about getting a nose job because I used to believe that that was getting in my way. Turn to your right. Let's see the profile. Turn to your right. I have one good. We need to put it to scale. Should I take my penis out? You get charged oxygen. Let me see, man. Let me see. Let me see. The thing is that if you're insecure about your people love imperfections, that's the thing.

I mean, it's really your personality. You know, I know this or that. No, I used to think it was about my nose. And then I realized it was about everything else. But it was my personality. That was a problem. But I've enough attractive women have told me that they think Adrian Brody is

hot that I like was like, oh, OK, so the nose is not an issue. No, no. Look at what's that singer who had the little tooth thing going on? Oh, Jewel? Yeah, Jewel. Jewel had a messed up mouth and everyone loved her. She was a mess. What'd she have?

She had that like a jagged tooth. It was like a lion's tooth. Sometimes I'll admit it. Saber tooth. Doctor, I will admit sometimes to Googling on Pornhub, ugly. Big nose whores. Big nose, big nose, whores, big nose, whore, slug bag. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Is that true? Yes, sometimes it turns me on when somebody is like busted, busted up, you know, but but not necessarily type in busted up. I just say like ugly, ugly chick slut, you know, something like that. Jesus Christ. Ugly skank who loves Jews. Yeah.

But you know, there's a fetish for everything, I guess is what I'm getting at. There is. So doctor, you have children? I've got one son and one step son. So how old am I i if you don't mind me asking uh my son is 17 right now wow so so my question is given your profession are you more likely to encourage your kids to have plastic surgery or more likely to discourage them and say

let's you it's not really going to change your life like what's your what's your attitude towards it for your own family? I say I leave it to each individual. So if he came to me and he wanted to have something done, I would definitely do it. I wouldn't discourage him from it. I've had like about eight of these things, man, and I'm still not pretty. So I keep on going for it.

I have a question. You've also had a lot of surgeries? Oh my God, like, hey dude, I live underneath a scalpel, yeah. Oh really? What have you done. You've also had a lot of surgeries. Oh my God. Like, Hey dude, I live underneath the scalpel. Yeah. Oh really? I've done a hair transplants. As you can see, they took very well. I've had two facelifts, a nose job, five lipos. Yeah. What else? My wife says a penis enlargementgement but i didn't have that yet

you look totally natural though yeah yeah it's really good you do look like you look like a totally natural swedish man well i uh i listen i lecture all over the world so i know a lot of these guys that are that lecture with me i just i know that can i ask you a question what is the impetus for you? What's your psychological thing? Did you never like your body? Do you have issues with your, with your look for a long time? Um, that's a great question. I, yeah, I, um, I didn't think it'd be life-changing, but it certainly made me feel better. So like at one point I weighed 300 pounds, man, I got that heavy. I had two gastric sleeves. My face was real droopy.

I was self-conscious about it. I was in the beauty business and I didn't look so beautiful, more like Shrek. So I said, you know, let me try to make this better. And I got to tell you, it does amazing things to the self-esteem. When you've got people complimenting you all the time, you just feel empowered. Imagine when you're really in the best shape that you've ever been in, you've been dieting, working out, and you feel great. Remember that feeling. And then remember the other feeling where you just didn't feel so good. You were the heaviest you've been.

Totally different feelings. The way you walk, the way you carry, the way you talk about it, the way you talk to people is just a very invigorating, empowering feeling. But is it a sickness for you? Like, do you feel like it's never going to be good enough? No, not at all. Zero, not at all. But I think if I see something that I know I can improve, like, let's say I want to to be good? No, not at zero, not at all. But I

think if I see something that I know I can improve, like, let's say I want to get a six pack ab, I go, okay, great. I know I can't work out. I can't be in there all the time. So yeah, I'd definitely go get a six pack ab if that's what I wanted to do. But it's more, it's not about trying to impress other people. It's more for myself and making myself feel better. But I I've loved every procedure that I've had done. I mean, I think it's been really life-changing in terms of my self-esteem where it was. I had a pretty low self-esteem. Even the hair transplant?

Yeah. Hair transplant has gone wild. I wish we could see your before photo. Shit. I don't know where, I'll have to email it to you. I was 300 pounds. I used to wear curtains, man. I wouldn't shop at clothing stores. I'd shop at like the drapery places.

Right, but certainly you must have lost a significant amount of that weight yourself. I mean, not by plastic surgery. The problem is, no, no, no. You know, what I had done was a gastric sleeve. So that's more bariatric. And what happened is that, yeah, I could definitely lose it, but then I'd gain it again and then I'd lose it and then I'd gain it again. So I just gave up and I said, let me do the gastric sleeve. And then I had it twice. I had one, once I lost 60 pounds, I had it done again and I lost another 40. So I lost a hundred pounds with a gastric sleeve.

I got to tell you, that's the most amazing. My aunt has that. My aunt got that. She did? Yes. How much did she lose? I mean, at least a hundred pounds. But Perrielle, Perrielle is trying.

What? Go ahead. I'm just saying Perrielle, but Perrielle, she's not at that level of, of, of, of, in terms of obesity. She's just wants to lose a few pounds and she's doing it the hard way she's eating how many calories a day perry are you restricting well i'm trying to lose 25 pounds i've lost seven and a half so far um i'm eating 1400 calories a day yeah that just seems like an insanely small amount of food. That's actually not. For women, I think it's around 1,500 for women if you're trying to lose some weight. Right.

500 calories gets tough. But you know what? You know what's really good is that intermittent fasting thing. I lost some weight doing that. I have a question about plastic surgery. This would be important for me. Does it hurt a lot a lot now it depends on what you're having done so facelifts noses no absolutely not liposuction is uncomfortable there's new medicine now it's called expiril you can inject it in the body when you're doing tummy tucks or lipos and it decreases your pain

by 85 percent it lasts for seven days. It's amazing. So it's revolutionizing really how people recover from pain afterwards. So it's pretty amazing. There's certain things like butt implants, man, those things are probably the most painful thing there is. But with this medicine, you really do well. But typically, certain things won't hurt, other things will. And then it depends on people. There's people that can get run over by a bus and they don't hurt. Others get their haircut and they're screaming. So it really is very different by everybody. My wife has a terrific tolerance for pain.

She dislocated her shoulder and she was like, all right, to go to the hospital. I should, you know, I would have been immobilized. I'd be with you on the other bed, dude. What is the most dangerous surgery? Because some are dangerous, right? Right. No, they all carry their own risk and they all have, you know, that dangerous side to it. For a while there, the fat transfers to the buttock had gotten real dangerous because people were injecting it in the vein, going to the lungs and they were passing away.

We're perfecting the procedure now a lot. So now that that's tremendously improved. But I'd say that every surgery carries its own risk. And so you got to be careful with, you know, with where you go, who you go to, getting medical labs, getting medical clearance before we make sure everybody's fine tuned before we get in there. You know, we don't just operate on anybody. And we're very selective with it. Are plastic surgeries typically covered by insurance or not? No, there's the ones that are like, if you can't breathe because you have a deviated septum,

let's say you have big boobies that like your nipples are down to your toes and you step on it every time you walk, that might qualify you. Dan looked that video up, right? Yeah, I haven't looked it up. Listen, you lay out and you got little nipples on your knees that's not good um yeah so there's some insurances that will cover certain things but no not typically not what if you have an accident and you need it for the recovery yeah for sure yeah insurances will

usually cover that yeah so this is quite expensive right is something is i don't want to ask you questions that i shouldn't ask you uh uh in you in public, but can you discuss what these things cost or no? Yeah, well, yeah, for sure. Absolutely. Listen, the thing is that there's a price variation between states. So I would say New York is probably the most expensive. So let's take a facelift. A facelift in New York would run you anywhere between $30,000 to $100,000. In Miami, it's usually about $12,000 to $20,000 for a face and neck. And if you go to California, boy, that'll vary too, between $30,000 to $100,000, almost even $150,000. That's not everybody. Usually, they're very, very affordable facelifts, anywhere between $8,000 to $15,000.

Let's say, let's take the butt, the BBL. The BBL in Florida, you could find it for as little as $39.95 with a set of Ginzu knives, or you can go ahead. The typical price is around $9,000, but if you go to Beverly Hills or you go to New York, you're looking at $12,000, $14,000. So it really varies on states. Miami is not that expensive. And this is what's fascinating to me. Miami is a hub, right, for South America. And it's a destination spot. You would think people would fly here and pay good money for plastic surgery. But we can't charge prices that they charge in New York, L.A.

People are well, I have a buddy of mine that's in Shreveport. And man, he can charge for liposuctions up to $30,000. I can't do that here in Miami. People wouldn't be coming. It's mind boggling. I don't know why they won't travel to Miami to pay, but they'll travel to Miami to not pay much. So Miami is not that expensive when it comes to plastic surgery. And then the other thing is they've opened up

a lot of these credit places where people get loans and all that kind of stuff to get this done. So you got a huge population now getting plastic surgery. How many of your patients are, are doing this for professional reasons? They're strippers, models, actresses, that sort of thing. Uh, I'd say about 25, 20, 25%. Now here's, what's interesting. I've kind of done a mini study on the strippers. They increase their income by about 25 to 30% when they get the on the breasts or on the butt or both everything but you're both you're looking at 40 percent increase you know when i go

to a strip club i prefer the stripper with the natural boobs and with the smaller boobs i i maybe i'm an outlier but do you like them flat where it's just nipples or you like a little mound a little yeah no a little bit but but if i'd rather have small naturals than big unnaturals i like big with no nipples he's sitting next to you man so listen here's the thing see you're focused on size again it's not about size it's about shape and proportion so it's a very different perspective. So if I gave you somebody that had very natural, small boobies, you might go, hey, wait a minute.

Same thing with the butt. It's not about a big butt. It's a prettier, perkier, rejuvenated butt. But I got to tell you, man, it increases their income for sure when they do that stuff. I get people that get promotions, people that have been in bad marriages that they end up leaving. I had one time the husband was driving the wife and he says to her, if I drop you off and you get out of the car, I'm divorcing you. She goes, drop me off now because I'm walking to the place. And then they got divorced. I've had people that have been dating for seven years and then they end up getting married after it. So we've had a lot of different scenarios on how empowering this is. People get raises because

they start carrying themselves differently, talking differently. They feel like they can get jobs anywhere. I mean, it's just really, I mean, you should see how they walk. I mean, there's nothing more powerful than that small little waist and then that little booty that's proportionate. Incredibly powerful. What's the craziest story that you had to turn down? Somebody came in and was just like totally out of their mind i don't know about turned down but let me here's a good crazy story i had a pilot that came in one day he comes in with his wife and uh so i thought you know that he was going to want life or something like that and they're sitting there and he says his wife says listen he likes to wear my clothes and he wants to fit in them a little bit better so he wants to get boobs

so i said oh okay so this is like a pilot uh who wants boobs so boobs go in and then he wants to go bigger goes bigger and then he comes back and he says hey listen my grandkids are noticing my boobs i gotta go a little bit smaller now take them out as a teenage grandkids yeah yeah that was probably the craziest that's insane yeah that was wild how big can i make my dick uh how about well listen you're at two right now yeah yeah okay so you're at two so we probably go to three and a half yeah i want to make it i want it to be fat chubby and yeah so you're at two from the floor or from so you're at two, so we probably go to three and a half. Yeah, I want to make it. I want it to be fat, chubby. Yeah. So you're at two from the floor or from, yeah, you're two.

I want my penis to go in like an accordion. Yeah, that's expensive. You need credit on that. There is such a thing as a micro phallus, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, there is. You can fix that or you can just. No, I just uh that's uh you know when you're a micro

that but there's different things like sometimes there's a hidden penis is what it's called so you got to go find it and what you got to do sometimes is they got so much fat around the penis that you can't see it so you suction the fat there's a ligament that keeps the penis and you can cut that ligament and then it stretches about another inch in the old days you'd have to put weights on it after you did the surgery so you see this guy hanging around with weights around his penis uh now we don't have to do that but so you can usually increase the length by about one to one and a half and then the girth can go up pretty good but you don't want to have this thing that's wide and boxing and it won't fit anywhere right depends on how big my

girlfriend's vagina is yeah yeah or the garage yeah i agree with you yeah i mean yeah if like if we came to you as a couple would you say it's cheaper to increase the size of my penis or just make my wife's vagina a little bit tighter is that the poor man's listen you're bringing up a great topic women's vagina let's go there for a minute. So you can do the Barbie makeover. Listen to what we do. We can tighten the vagina for sure on women that have had multiple kids or whatever. Then we can inject fat into the clitoris. We can inject fat into the G spot to help stimulation.

We can inject fat into the labia majora because it tends to defact and we can remove the labia minora which is um the little looks like a little gobbler of the of the uh the chicken you know i'm talking about that it's called the labia minora where's the clitoris where is it let him finish let him finish let him finish yeah so um so there's four different orgasms women can have there's the obviously penetration orgasm then there's a clitoral stimulation orgasm then there's the g-spot stimulation and there's the rectal stimulation so we work on three out of the four which is pretty damn good yeah my goodness and what'll that run me he wants a clitoris i think i think my wife would be happy with any one of those four

I know about the male rectal orgasm Because we have the prostate in there But how is it that a rectal penetration Can give a woman an orgasm? I know the answer What is it? Well, it's because the anus has thousands of nerve endings in it, which a lot of people don't know about. Right. You know that, right? You, I'm sure

you know. Exactly. No, you know what I mean? I looked that up a long time ago. It's true. Yeah. I don't know how many, I mean, they like anal though. Right. Yeah. I mean mean that's why people do it yeah that's right I thought I was alone there for a minute you guys weren't saying shit you're a real character do you ever get to New York

I haven't been there no I love New York man I'd move there in a heartbeat I love it New York man say it again you gonna have me on the show in new york yeah but i'd love to meet you in person i have a feeling like like alone like not on the air you'd have some amazing stories to tell then you're probably a great guy to hang out and have a drink with we'd love to have you come down to the comedy show and hang out and you know we can

have you on the show again. Come see a show at the club, you and your whole family, if you want. I love it. There's about 150 of them. I'm like Latin, man, so are you sure you want anybody in there? We'll pile up in a Volkswagen and we'll all come over, man. I'm sure they'll be easy to spot.

Yeah. They got tits, all of them. Even the men. You were born in nicaragua or you're born so no i was born in la but my parents are from nicaragua so we moved there uh when i was about five and then i had to come back because the revolution hit i was about 15 and then i just did all my studies here in the states oh here's do you think has don Donald Trump had any plastic surgery in your opinion? Uh, no, not yet, man. Not the way he looks, dude. I look absolutely amazing. He doesn't even know that.

How about Hillary Clinton? She clearly had work done. Yeah, she had balls removed. Her balls removed? She had the penis enlarger man yeah that's it she she has that look i mean you and i notice is you think the wealthiest people in the world would avoid it but they have this look around the eyes sometimes which you know what makes they have botox done and not necessarily surgery because nowadays we're becoming we're doing a lot of non-invasive stuff you know like these threads and fillers and botox and lasers i mean medicine's really taking a an interesting turn as to where it'll be in the next 15 20 years because we're doing less and less surgery more non-invasive stuff so you know we're trying to melt fat now externally

uh we're trying to tighten skin there's new lasers that are coming out that remove little, little tiny pieces of skin, but it removes it in some, in such tiny little amounts, but a lot of it. So it shrinks the skin. So you don't have to have a scar that's coming down the pike. Uh, there's so many different things that are coming down the road. It'll be very interesting to see where my profession goes in 15, 20 years. My final question is, um, this is not about surgery, but you probably know about it. If you don't want to have surgery and you're getting older and you get wrinkles and stuff

like that, what is the best regimen that somebody should be using to take care of this skin? Get rich, man. That way you don't have to worry how you look. Let me see. What is the best thing? I would probably say there's new PRP fillers and I would say fillers and PRP and laser. But that that the downtime on those things is not that bad. It's not that painful. It's pretty quick. But fillers are revolutionizing how people do. The other thing is fat. I take fat and I inject it and make you younger that way. So I would say that way, probably doing the threads. I mean, these are all non-invasive things That don't take that long Very quick

Alright well doctor You're a fantastic guest Anybody have any final questions? Bob you want to ask him a question As Donald Trump To just tie us all together How do I make my wife Melania Speak English?

Let me enlarge your penis And you'll see what happens great idea thanks great man tremendous man tremendous man i love it you guys are hysterical well he's uh he's uh he's a latino from florida he might be a trump supporter we don't know but uh i know that they were because also because nicaragua was a was a communist country, wasn't it? Yeah, well, actually, right now, I think they're imprisoning everybody that wants to run against the current president. So I'm like, we're not we're not going to get into your politics, but it's possible that he's definitely a capitalist. God bless him. That's for sure. I love it. Actually, actually, I actually mean that totally sincerely.

I, you know, it's like you're like, well, I, I can charge as much as I can it. Actually, I mean that totally sincerely. You know, it's like, well, I can charge as much as I can get, right? That's it. That's exactly right. And I think that's perfectly fine. People don't understand. Of course, that's the way it is. You charge what you can get. Right.

No, no. That's absolutely true. That's why you find a wide variation in prices in plastic surgery. And just because you're more expensive doesn't necessarily mean you're better. You know what I mean? Of course, I charge what I can get. You can charge so much more for those. Short term, but there's more than just

the initial transaction. You have a long term reputation. Which is why the Kindle version of my book is only $4.99. Because I want people to read it. And that's in Peso

we'll send you one all right so we can say good night Dan you want to you want to sign off okay thank you everybody

thank you Dr. Mendieta for joining us from Miami Florida the great city by the way I love Miami

haven't been there in a while Bob DeBono the Trump Trump impersonator extraordinary and comic extraordinary and comic extraordinary and

thank you everybody we'll see you next time on Live from the Table bye bye