The Comedy Cellar: Live from the Table - Bonus Episode 12 with Dov Davidoff

Episode Date: November 22, 2020

Bonus Episode 12 with Dov Davidoff 

Okay. Here we go. Hey, that was Goodbye Stranger, Super Tramp from the 70s album Breakfast in America. This is Live from the Table, the official podcast of New York's world-famous comedy seller. Coming at you on the Ridecast Podcast Network. I'm Dan Natterman. We have Dove Davidoff and Periel Ashenbrand. This is a bonus episode.

And we will have more classic rock after our discussion of the week's events. Dove, welcome. You're coming to us from a location that is not familiar to me. I'm always happy to be back on Classic Rock 9208. Yeah, no, I just moved into this joint 15 minutes ago. I mean, literally 15 minutes ago. Here, my bike's over here. Check this out.

This is, um, I'm in Nolita. I was able to get this Airbnb. I mean, I'm here for four months, but look at the, look at this. I'm so jealous. For those of you who are listening on, just on audio on podcast, Dove is in Lolita. He's got a beautiful view. It's nighttime.

So we see the twinkling lights of Lolita. Lolita. The divorce is going well. And, you know know so I just I had my kid on the scooter earlier today and then just moved into this Airbnb I'll see if I can make it permanent but this

is I mean you know what's going on in the city right now it's like I don't know I mean it's a very good deal for whatever that's worth not that people at home care I care yeah no it's like it was a place

that would have been 4k a month and I got it for 24 you know I mean furnished and everything it's like to be around the corner from the Lolita yeah it's really nice.

We will get back to that. I do want to talk about Saturday night. Apparently, Periel has beef with Dan Natterman. Okay. All right. Won't be the first, won't be the last.

Not likely. No. Because she said she was mad at me because I opened for Louis C.K. on Saturday and apparently in Jersey at the Stress Factory, the world famous Stress Factory. And apparently Perrielle is upset that I didn't tell you. Is that it, Perrielle? Yes, I've asked you so many times

to let me know when and where you're performing and you're out gallivanting and I'm stuck out here outside of the fucking city. Yeah. Ready to like bash my head into a wall. And I would have totally come to that. You've been so COVID safe. Would you really want to go into an environment where the liability is clearly much higher than what you've been creating. I mean, I feel like

I would probably be in... I mean, it's not... I wouldn't be planning on diving headfirst into the crowd. Right, right, right. They had a tent set up. Have you been to the Stress Factory, Dove, since...

No, not since. No, no. There's a tent set up. Because Vinny has a lot of property outside the club, so they've got set up a tent with heat lamps. I don't know to what extent the tent is any safer. I assume it's somewhat safer. There's greater air flow, but I don't know how much safer it would be

than just being... Is it the same configuration, Dan, at 50% capacity or 25%? No, it looks like, when you look at it, it looks like it's full capacity. I mean, but it's an intent. It's outside. It looks like, you know, when we go to a restaurant outside, that level of social distancing.

I see. So zero social distancing. Well, so less than, I think, six feet, I think. I mean, I didn't take a tape measure to it, but Noah wants to come into the podcast, by the way. No, I just got a message from Noah. Oh, look who's here.

Look at that. He has obviously something odd to get off his chest. Something of great urgency. Unless he's just that bored. Fuck, you sent me an invite and then nobody lets me in? Hello, hello, hello. Who has joined us?

What, did we invite Noam to this? I invite him to every single one. I'll leave, I'll leave. No, no, no, no need to leave. I was talking about opening for Louis this weekend and I just, before we get into the weeds politically with Noam, because that's always what happens, I want to relate a story that I think would we get into into the weeds politically with gnome because that's always

what happens I want to rely I want to relate a story that I think would be of some interest no uh so I'm going to meet Louie downtown he's picking me up to drive me and Joe List out to the gig and I take a city bike an electric city bike and if you know me you know I love electric city bikes you get enough when you go down to the village, though, sometimes it turned out there were no, you have to park it in like a special, you know, those city bike parking things. And I couldn't find one.

And I'm riding around, and I'm getting a call from Louie's road manager, Leah, where are you? Louie's waiting. Can't wait much longer. I'm riding around trying to find a parking space. I make an executive decision. I simply leave the electric city bike unparked next to the rack. There's like a whole series of parking spaces. And next to it, I leave

it. I say, I'm going to make an executive decision here because there's no frigging parking for this city bike. And I don't want to miss the Louie gig. And the city bike, if somebody steals it, be a couple grand, which is more than I'm making for Louis, but I want to work with Louis. You know, by the way, Dan, as a side note, there's an app that will let you know where they have open ports. I know. And there was nothing in the village. I call up, I call up city bike. I'm like, Hey, could you get somebody down here?

I gotta, I gotta, I gotta, I gotta work with Louis. Yeah, of course, baby. Look, we don't give a fuck about you or Louie. So I make that executive decision hoping that nobody will steal it, hoping that somebody will just take it and get an electric city bike on me and then just go park it where they're going. Right. You did the right thing, Dan.

You did the right thing. What happened? An hour later, I checked the app and somebody had taken it and parked it somewhere else. You have the karma. You know, I didn't have to pay the $2,000, whatever the fee is, to see if I could sell them, but I think

I made the right decision. I didn't want to upset Louie or cancel on him last minute. Oh my God, that would have been a terrible idea. Well, you clearly made the right decision. Worst case scenario, you'd be out of pocket $2,500. Best case scenario was what

happened to you, but I'm sorry, worst case scenario is Louis would feel like you fucked him over and you'd save $2,500, which will come back to you in the future. You made the right decision. Yeah, you know, and I also was just anxious to do a real gig because I haven't really done, I mean, I've done shows in the park.

I've done shows elsewhere at the stand outside, which are pretty good. Pardon? How was it? It was good. It was good. You know, they seem to like me in Jersey, these Jersey people. Everybody likes you. Well, but they're not just jersey people they're louis jersey people louis jersey people so that they're a little bit more um a little more comedy savvy perhaps maybe then yeah jim norton jersey

people may not have been quite that quite as a a kind of you will i can't believe that you didn't tell me you were doing this. I really fucking can't. It never dawned on me to tell you because it's all the way in Jersey. I just didn't think you'd make that kind of a trip. And likely you would not have, by the way.

I have been locked up in a fucking house for seven months. If you want to go on that trip, then your kid doesn't play with my kid anymore. Are you in the city the other day at some dinner meeting, God knows where? I'm not going to. I'm met with

people who are quarantined. I'm not going to some strangers, especially Louie's crowd. What do you mean? You did a great job. You did a great job building out those plexiglass partitions at the olive tree. It looks great, and it works really well. I mean, I was there. I did stand up there earlier in the week.

It was – or last week. It was good. Are we talking about that gnome openly? No. Okay. I mean, we're – go ahead No. I still live in a room. Nobody's breaking any, there's no regulations being broken. Nobody's quite sure.

You're allowed to have a piano player. We're not having any shows. But if somebody gets up and starts talking to the people, what am I going to do? There's no official show. I was in the middle of playing piano, and then I started to talk. Now there's no official show. We're the middle of playing piano And then I started to talk Now there's no official show We're not even charging the extra COVID 10% Let alone charging admission

So Dan was in a tent I was in a tent I was saying before you got here I was in a tent When I say a tent It's like a major deal it's like a tent you would have for like a wedding or you know um then there's there's sides to it it's like there's walls to this tent right and it's high ceilings there was a lighting lighting apparatus uh that vinnie had and i gotta hand it to vinnie i'll tell you this you cannot kill this guy i mean come covet come

come come hail come plague he will have his show and he did a beautiful job setting this big tent up and with the heat lamps and there and there are openings on the side so there's airflow but i'm just wondering to what extent it's safer than just being inside maybe it is maybe it is and i don't know i'm not an epidemiologist but i'm just wondering but in any case it's legal than just being inside. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. I don't know. I'm not an epidemiologist, but I'm just wondering. But in any case, it's legal to do it that way. So he's doing it. So you're not near anyone. I mean, it's really riskier for the audience members. Yeah, I'm on stage and everybody has their own. Me, Joe List, which were the openers, and Louis, we all had our own microphones and we were away from the stage. So for us, it's no big deal. The audience, I don't know, you know, they,

they had to wear their masks whenever they left their table. And Vinny did a good job of patrolling and that and enforcing that. So, and he's been doing shows all along and, you know, things are, I think, you know, Anything to keep Vinny off that off doing 20 minutes on that payphone, indoors, on his wall. I don't know. I'd be happy to work outdoors all year long, rather than sit through that payphone act.

I don't know if he's doing the payphone anymore. Did you guys hear what happened to Jeffrey Toobin? Yes, we did. But if you want to just briefly discuss... You know, give the broad strokes, if you will. That was an unintentional play on words, but the broad strokes.

Jeffrey Toobin got caught doing something all the rest of us had never got caught doing. He got caught masturbating during a Zoom call, a professional Zoom call. First of all, this is the thing. This guy, you guy, he's in his 50s, right? Yeah, so his technological prowess may not be what it should be. No, that's

quite an overpowering libido for a man that age. He's got to jerk off during a Zoom call. I mean, I haven't done stuff like that since I was a teenager. I could keep it together. I don't think I could get an erection just on a general meeting type call.

I mean, it wasn't in the context of some, you know, sexy talk. It was an actual meeting. No, I think it was just the New Yorker, you know. I don't know. So funny. Now, of course, this is what Louie was accused of doing, right? One of the big things, the girl was talking to him, and she figured out that he was masturbating.

This is serious. Let's remember, they said this was serious. No, no, but Toobin said that he thought he had blocked the video. Yeah, but one of the things with Louie was that he didn't tell her she was masturbating. She caught him masturbating. Remember? Over the phone?

Over the phone, yeah. No, but Toobin thought he had exited the meeting, I think. Oh, no. How could you think you exited the meeting? Well, you could probably have stopped the video. You stopped the video and nobody can see it and nobody can hear you. Oh, is that what he said? Yeah, he said that he had thought he had stopped the video. Why

did he get fired for that? Did he say he was acting? These people bullshit. I mean, he Who cares? So he got fired because he was jerking off? He got suspended. During a professional meeting, he was caught masturbating

during the It was unclear. Toobin, who has since been suspended, later told Vice, I believed it was not visible on Zoom. I thought no one on the Zoom call could see me. I thought I had muted the Zoom video. It was unclear, but he hadn't muted the audio. It was unclear what, if others thought. It's so

funny to me. Can you imagine? I can't believe I mean, first of all, I actually can't believe that he only got suspended. So they're going to let him come back? They're investigating. They were doing some sort of simulation. Investigating what?

Whether he thought he was muted. I take him at his word that he, that it was a mistake. I can't believe he would do that on purpose. You know, some people off, but did he, so he thought that the zoom call had come to an end.

He thought he had missed off the video. I'll do it right now as a, as a demonstration. You got a video. You see where I am. I could masturbate right now. You'd have no idea. I mean, depending on what moaning I was doing, if any.

And now the video starts back. And here I am in my fish tank. I demand to know whether or not you were masturbating. And I did manage to get one out in a brief period of time. You're not coming out so fast. Because I'm that good. He's that good. He's that good.

He stopped a video Zoom and jerked off inside of 15 seconds. Did he? I don't understand. So Toobin shut the video off and then began jerking off without any material? No pornography? I really don't know the details. We'll have to wait. I'd like to know because that would be an impressive feat in and of itself.

Just an imagination masturbation. Well, maybe. Here's the story. The New Yorker was suspended on a Zoom chat between members of the New Yorker and WNYC Radio. Toobin says he didn't realize his video was on.

I believe two people who were on the call told Vice separately that the call was an election simulation featuring many of New York's biggest stars. Jane Mayer was playing a Republican, even Joe Biver, Sue Howe.

And he was playing the part of somebody and he just, I guess the thought of Biden winning. He was jerking off during an election simulation? Both, this is is vice now vice is using very journalism both said they saw toobin jerking off according to my stocker that's the language that is just incredible oh my god uh it says at this point they said it seemed like to be on a second video call the sources said that when the group returned from their breakout rooms to

even lowered the camera the people on the call said they could see toobin was on a second video call, the sources said that when the group returned from their breakout rooms, Toobin lowered the camera. The people on the call said they could see Toobin touching his penis. Toobin then left the call. Moments later, he called back and seemingly unaware of what his colleagues had been able to see. Did he ejaculate? I mean.

Well, we don't know. I don't know. Was there a money shot somewhere? Well, again, I say that I think that, you know,

I don't see what motivation he would have had to do that on purpose, so I'll take him at his word that he's just an older guy, albeit not much older than me, that doesn't know how to use technology. And, you know, fucked up. Well, yeah, but it's also just an interesting time to

immediately begin masturbating. He's 60. He's quite a bit older than me, in fact. I thought he was in I'm sorry, he's 60. He's quite a bit older than me, in fact. Oh. I thought he was in his 50s. He's 60 years old. So, you know, even if you're 60 years old and being a little bit clumsy with technology, I suppose.

Not everybody is. Nothing clumsy about the way he pulled out his pole and began hammering away. He's got the libido of a teenager, but the technological wherewithal of an 80-year-old. Yes, yes. Outrageous. That's just definitely outrageous. I mean, honestly,

you would never find a woman doing this. I mean, it would just never fucking happen. A trans woman might. Oh, no, Perrie, I forgot. Perrie would disagree. She thinks a forgot. Perrie-O would disagree.

She thinks a trans woman has all the qualities of a woman. Isn't that what you told me? Yes. So a trans woman wouldn't take it out and beat her meat, right? First of all, that's totally offensive and disgusting. Why is that offensive? Because not all trans women have penises. I'm talking about the ones that do, obviously.

The ones that do. And second of all- Why was it offensive? It's just vulgar. If I said something- We're talking about masturbating on TV. It was vulgar. That's fine.

That part, I just feel like, who cares? I mean, first, I can't wrap my head around the fact that this guy is jerking off during... What is he doing? We are onto something here. We are onto something, which is is that a difference between trans women

and regular women? Sorry, not to offend you. Trans women and XY... Cis women. Cis women. Whatever. I'm like Jeffrey Turek. I'm not convinced that a woman would never do such a Women and X, Y. Cis women. Cis women. X, X. Cis women. Cis women. Whatever.

I can't. I'm like Jeffrey Turek. I'm not convinced that a woman would never do such a thing. Women masturbate. I take back the regular woman. I don't mean to talk that way. I didn't mean to tell it. But is that a difference between trans women and what we used to call women? I don't know.

What is trans women? Do we know that trans women... First of all, what exactly are we saying women masturbate as well so why would a woman but harry l seems to think that the penis saying in a professional setting i think you're hard pressed to find a woman who's going to start fingering herself in the middle my son is here go upstairs Go upstairs right now. Is that Nicholas? Tell me something. Come here.

Now we're going to hear from Manny Dorman. Come here quick. I'm telling my dad something. Okay, but I'm here. I'm making a Halloween school. I need someone to join the Halloween school. Okay, why not go upstairs? Can you go upstairs now, please?

Okay, good. That's a sweet kid. I love that kid. Manny. Come here. He just came running in here and he goes, Manny. Oh, now we have Periel's kid too.

He says what? He said, Manny. Hello, Periel's son. Oh, he's adorable, this kid. I never saw him before. Now Periel's running after him. He's adorable, this kid. I never saw him before. Now Peril's running after him. He's got hair like he's got long, curly hair. You know, he's like his lead singer for Blow Waste of Cove.

Anyway, so what else is new? Listen, the reason it's awkward is because Peril said some trans stuff last week on another podcast, I don't remember. And she, you know, and I think she just contradicted herself. That's all. But go ahead. I didn't. And I'm saying that I think you would be hard-pressed to find a woman,

trans or otherwise, who would be fingering herself or otherwise masturbating in the middle of a business meeting. Why would you assume women can finger themselves? Do you assume women can finger themselves? Do you assume... What? Why would... I'm making fun of you. I'm saying that

there are differences between male libido and female libido, right? And those differences are probably not gender identification differences. Those are probably sexual genetics differences.

It's biochemical. There's no arguing that we have different chemistry and whether or not you're taking a lot of estrogen, you still have a degree of testosterone pumping through your body, which manifests itself in ways that could be seen as more aggressive. Why don't we just get our facts straight with regard to the frequency of masturbation? Masturbation frequently was higher among males. And this is from the Journal of the American Medical Association, JAMA, I guess it's called. When asked about masturbation frequency in the past year, approximately half of male participants reported masturbation at least twice weekly, twice weekly. Among females,

45.5% reported masturbation a few times per year, but only 22.5% reported masturbation frequencies of at least twice a week. So I guess there is quite a difference, at least according to the Journal of Medical Association. Now, Perry L's research might show otherwise. I find that, what year is that from? I mean, I'll say this. First of all, women were, you know. Number 2011. So I don't think much has changed since then. Well, I think that female masturbation

is something that was not really talked about in any way like male masturbation is talked about. It's sort of like this accepted thing that guys jerk off. But it was sort of, oh my God, if women talk about that, it's scandalous. Now listen, if Jeffrey Toobin were masturbating during this conversation, I'd give him a pass. If Dan's masturbating right now while you're talking about female masturbation, he's only human.

But the fact is that every girl complains, every woman complains about seeing a dude masturbating on the subway, right? I've never heard of a woman masturbating on the subway. But look, that's a different thing. Women are less likely to be perhaps exhibitionists. It doesn't mean they're less likely to masturbate, although according to this JAMA... By the way, this JAMA article focuses on adolescents. So not across the...

14 to 17-year-olds were in that study. I have half the libido I had 15 years ago. I remember you 15 years ago. That's like Bill Gates saying he has half the money he had 20 years ago. There's still plenty, Dov. I remember you 15 years ago. That's like Bill Gates saying he has half the money he had 20 years ago.

He can still get by. Oh, I'm not complaining. It's a relief. It's a relief. No, I have less than that. They have a hard time controlling themselves. Here's another statistic from Women's Health Magazine.

5% of women ages 25 to 29 engage in masturbation more than four times a week. That's 5% of women in that age group. 20% of men in that age group do. The gap closes in for multiple times a month with 21.5% of women and 25.4% of men. In any case, the disparity remains throughout life. Anyway, so men do masturbate more, but it's not that women don't masturbate, and certainly it could happen that a woman masturbates. I clocked a good 1.5 per day until I was 35, I'm sure. Yeah, that'm sure. I don't think that's fair.

Exit, and then with that, he left. Well, Perrielle, you're a very sexual woman, and there's no secret. Everybody knows it. Is that true? It's nothing to be ashamed of. I don't know that that's true anymore.

I think it is true. If they're not married, you know, things change. Well, all right, you were. So what was, how often did you engage in? I don't want to hear this. Let's talk about something else. Let's talk about your wife. You're the one who just told us your schedule

when you were 30. I know, but I have to listen to yours. All I can say is this. I don't know one girl who doesn't masturbate regularly and i think those numbers are off that could be but but this was of course that contradicts with your your point about no woman would ever accidentally self-control and just like a sense of fucking decorum yes but if he didn't know that he was being, you know, on a Zoom meeting,

then, you know, then it has nothing to do with decorum. But wasn't he talking? Can we talk about something else? All right, no one wants to talk about- You brought this up! This is about Jeffrey Toobin, not you! Yeah. No, but what's going on with the Amy Coneyy coney barrett hearings are they ready to vote i

haven't i stopped paying attention i didn't even watch them i don't even care anymore no you didn't see any of her i thought that she was her demeanor her calmness i'm not talking about what are what are you know how conservative or or or any of her perceived political positions, she was so articulate and so sort of, there was this kind of empowered aspect to the way she would answer the questions with no notes. She really seemed like a brilliant, hyper-articulate woman for what that's worth. And the fact that she's got two Haitian children

is meaningful as well. I mean, if you want to talk about extolling the virtues of, you know, look, but I don't know much about her politics. And I don't know how real the liability is associated with Roe v. Wade and all of that. So I'm not commenting on that. I mean, she's apparently a super genius and she's conservative and she's a religion and she adopted some Haitian kids in need. And she seems, you know, by all accounts, deserves to be on the Supreme Court.

The question is whether or not Trump should have not appointed somebody so close to the election after what they did to Merrick Garland. You know, I don't think it was terrific what they did, but they didn't break any rules, you know. I mean, I didn't like what they did. I don't like what they did. I don't like what they did. I thought what they did with Merrick Garland was shitty. I mean, this is not the first time a Supreme Court justice

will have been nominated or appointed in an election year. What about Hunter's emails, Noam? Have you been following that story closely? Yes, I have been following that one. I like those stories. Well, so can you enlighten us with the Cliff's Notes version of exactly what the hell's going on?

Well, they found there's this weird hard drive on a laptop that was supposedly dropped off at a Delaware computer shop and he never picked it up. And is he, there's all these emails on there. And, um, some of them discuss, um, keeping 10% aside in a deal for China, for Joe Biden. And, uh, another one discusses, you know, thanking him for the opportunity,

thanking Hunter for the opportunity to meet the vice president or his father during the time. This is, I mean, it's all interesting because some of this goes directly to the stuff that Trump was impeached over. Like, you know, if these emails are true, it becomes very hard to justify impeaching Trump, in my opinion.

But regardless of the technical aspect of the email, you know, investigation and discovery, part of the problem is that he received a significant amount of money by way of a financial group in another country with political interests. And correct me if I'm wrong, but he had no experience in energy production and or private equity situations that were- And he was a crack addict. Yes, you're right.

Right. And so the notion, if you know anything about business, you just don't give away millions of dollars to anybody without either significant experience or you're paying for some aspect of their connected situation politically. I mean, it's absurd to argue that you would have gotten that if he weren't your father. Now, whether or not something is legal, that's a different situation. Yeah, you're 100% right, Dov. So, I mean, it's just interesting to see the Times and CNN. They won't even talk about this stuff, except that they want to focus on the fact that there was a guy at the Post who didn't want to run the story. And Fox News refused to run the story because they didn't feel it was verified, properly verified. But of course, that was then. Now the story's out

and there has not been a single denial from anybody, from anybody. Not one person has said, that's not my email. And it's been, you know, four or five days already. And also some people have said, actually, yeah, that is my email.

So it's becoming harder and harder to believe that these are not legit, except unless that's your religion to believe that. But what's fascinating is that you think, I mean, what is the New York Times actually in business for? Wouldn't it be to track down whether these emails are true or not, whether this corruption actually happened and inform the American public in time for an election?

Isn't that kind of like job one of the New York Times? More so than 1619 projects and stuff like that, which are nice, but that's not the primary, what's the word? The primary mission of the greatest newspaper, the greatest newspaper is to inform us about our civic, most important civic facts. Like was the vice president corrupt? We're about to elect him as president.

Now, I mean, I don't, whatever. I don't think it's a reason not to vote for Biden, but, Dov, you hit the nail on the head because I was saying this all along at the time, is that every deal, every transaction is considered to be an even exchange. That's like a basic principle of transaction. So if Burisma pays Hunter Biden $50,000 to $80,000 a month, you presume-

Well, there's also other upside. And then there's a fund, like a private equity fund, essentially it's a 2 in 20 deal. You give me a quarter billion dollars, and I get a small percentage of that in order to manage. Well, whatever it is, but let's just say if they're paying him 50 to $80,000 a month for a job, he has no expertise in the,

it's natural to say, well, they're paying him for something. And we know that. He had no experience. He had a successful track record as an equity guy in the first place. On what level would that guy in the first place. On what level would that happen in the real world?

To what extent does that implicate Joe Biden? Well, it does. So this is the thing. So it's clear that they were buying something from him. And he was clear that by taking the money, he was indicating to them that he was selling something. And that is most likely his connections to his dad. So now the dad is the vice president. Now the dad finds out about this. Apparently, he played golf with the guys in Burisma. And according to these emails, which may or may not be true, he met with one of these people. Now that is not the right thing for the

dad to do. I'm not saying he did anything corrupt, compromise American foreign policy. I have no idea. But if I was Joe Biden, I would tell Hunter, listen, do whatever the fuck you want, but you're not doing any deals in Ukraine right now that I'm out of this. Don't think that I'm involved in this in any way. The last thing I would do if I were Joe Biden was go play golf with them. And we also know that two people within the Obama administration raised this issue to Joe Biden. And one of them was told, shut up and don't mention it again. So, I mean, you know, and it's just shocking. Imagine if this were Trump and Trump Jr. Can you picture the New York Times saying, we're not going to report on this? I mean, it's crazy what's going on. It's not about, you know,

it just goes to highlight the hypocritical nature of both sides and also highlight, you know, media bias. And so when I hear him yelling fake news, I mean, look, Fox is as editorialized, I mean, as they are on the left. But I don't know where you turn in this country at this point for an independent, objective perspective about information. I don't know what to do. You turn to America's source for objective assessment, which is live from the table. Live from the table, baby. And classic rock as well.

I think that it's a legit story. I think the emails, I mean, why wouldn't somebody deny them if they're fake? Like Biden's answer was, he is not on his official schedule like that's such a scene imagine your wife catches you some find some emails that you're fucking around and you and you say no no honey i checked my schedule it's like you would say i didn't fuck around

of all of the details there's a common sense observation to be made here. No one gets paid $100,000 a month without bringing significant experience or value to the table. And in the absence of those two, then you can rely on the notion that there was some sort of connection, family, political related. You don't pay people millions of dollars otherwise, regardless of who you are. It's not how reality works. And you can also count on it that at some point, somebody from Burisma said to Hunter, we need you to ask your dad about blah, blah, blah, blah. He had to.

I mean, they've been paying him all his money. So the question then becomes, when he did that, what did Hunter do? And now there's an email that says he set up a meeting. That's actually real corruption. You know, I mean, it may not be out of the ordinary in terms of what politicians do, but that's the real thing. And to think that Trump got impeached because he had the nerve to say, I want you to look into this, it becomes a very murky picture there, because a president

does have the right to look into such things, even if it's opportunistic and political. And he's still the president. If he gets wind of this, he has a right to look into it. And so isn't the most worrisome aspect of all of this is that it's not about the level of impropriety. I think the impropriety is clear, just on a common sense sort of reasoning basis. media outlet to turn to within which we can um rely on something remotely objective and that everything is so hyper politicized i mean on both the left and the right the hypocrisy doesn't frighten me it's that where do people turn for fucking information i'd say the best right now is the wall street journal that that's really what i think they play at the straightest i agree even the wall street even the wall street journal news page can be a little left to center sometimes Wall Street Journal. That's really what I think. They play it the straightest. I agree. Even the Wall Street

Journal news page can be a little left to center sometimes, but no, I think they do a really good job of the Wall Street Journal. I agree. The editorial page is still pretty ripe, but I'm not talking about the editorial page. It's just the news. Noam, I think we should consider negotiating a retail

lease at this point in anticipation of a vaccine. I think we get a dynamite deal. I pay for the whole operation. We determine an equity split. I'm working on loan sales right now. Three deals. There's debt going to market that's going to be foreclosed on.

Wait a second. I'm jerking off. He thought he was off the computer. Go ahead, Doug. Are you talking about opening up another comedy seller or just some other general investment? Comedy seller. Comedy seller.

I'm already working on other investment. I don't think development is the deal right now, but there are some very interesting situations in New York City, provided that you believe NYC isn't going out of business. And I believe that it is not. Well, that's interesting because Noam was before the pandemic, Noam was investigating opening up another room and then he he didn't do it. And then the pandemic happened.

No, I pulled out because of the pandemic. You pulled out because of the pandemic. Look, you don't want to be paying rent for 12. I mean, you know, paying a lease for 12 to 15 months at 25% capacity. That math is clear. But what is less clear is, one, where you put the over-under on the vaccine, and then how you weigh the variable that is very significant historic leverage as a buyer of lease of as a retail buyer in this sense and that the seller is under very serious pressure in many cases to make a deal with a prospective tenant now you can do a tenant you can do a

sharing agreement on a lease or you could just determine a rock-bottom number on a per foot basis, get a 10-year lease with five-year options. The negotiating leverage is very clear right now. I don't know what's available, but the idea that I would go in and pay for it, I don't know what the equity split would be. It's your club. You run it. I front the dough, and we go out and make a deal. I can't control Biden, but I can control what goes on in terms of a lease situation with a seller who's underwater on a mortgage and has a tenant that already burnt out. Anyway, you get the point.

Well, yeah. Interesting offer. I don't know that no one wants to be in business with Dove only because friendship and business can be a very complex mix. Yes. But if it, if it's clean and you're relatively experienced, there's a, there's the idea that look, you put up X amount of money. If you lose that money, you're a big boy. And I don't have any,

I wouldn't have any part in running anything. There's no, there would be no conflict of interest in that sense. And nobody spends a quarter million dollars for stage time. I'm not looking for an extra spot on a Wednesday. But I thought, you know, now's an interesting time to begin thinking. Well, let me tell you where you are going wrong, Mr. Davidoff, in my opinion. No, I'm not pitching anything yet. I'm just saying as a consideration.

This is the difference between what you're discussing and where I think you'd be right in terms of buying property now. The savings that you can get on the rent right now, I do not think are worth the risk of the uncertainty of what you're getting yourself into. What I'm saying is that better to pay a little bit more rent at a time when New York has actually bounced back than to try to then get yourself in now where it's on so yeah maybe you're going to save you know that's five thousand seven thousand dollars a month but that kind of money doesn't

really matter that much if your business is successful but it but if you're not making any money to sign on a dotted line and start paying, you could lose a lot I completely understand your CBA I'm not pitching this from a point of view Your cost benefit analysis The cost would be higher than the benefit until we know what's going on

You'd rather pay another $5,000 It's also a question of how you assess the risk Noam is saying that there's still a question of how you assess the risk. Noam is saying that there's still a great risk. I will make a caveat. There are certain locations. I can't think of one off the top of my head.

There are certain locations that become available so seldom and are so special that it will be worth grabbing them if they, if they came up. In other words, not a run of the mill store on some street, but like a really classic location, you know, if that comes up, that would be different. I understand. And, and, and, and I've done no research as it relates to where the leverage is, where the lease rates are. And none of us know when things are

going to open back up in a meaningful way. I just didn't know whether there was a scenario where you could create language in a contract saying, as long as we're at 25% capacity, if you could pitch the idea that you pay 25% of wherever the lease would have been, you cap the liability on the upside. I don't know. You can pitch that. Sure you can. Sure you can. Yeah, it was just a thought. Yeah, that's not bad.

Also, there's another issue, is that I don't know how motivated Noam is to make money at this point. I think he's, you know, I don't know. I know I'm going to answer that question. I'm not motivated to make money. I'm barely motivated to get out of bed. I don't know. I'm not motivated to make money. I'm barely motivated to get out of bed.

I don't know. I'm not even motivated to masturbate. I, yeah, I'm not motivated to make money. I do hope that my old income comes back. I'd be quite happy with that. But, you know, that's a mood thing. That could change I was ready to open a new club in January

early this year so I was kind of psyched to do that thank God I backed out they thought I was nuts his landlord when I backed out I said I'm not backing out until I know where this COVID thing goes

and this was in January when everybody thought it was going to be fine he says are you serious? I'm like yeah I'm serious and he was in January when everybody thought it was going to be fine. He says, are you serious? I'm like, yeah, I'm serious. And he was mad. But thank God I backed out.

Mark Jew. Yeah, yeah, give us your cup. Give us your cup. What else? I'm going to buy the face value of this note. I'm going to bid on it. I'm going to try to pick it up for between 50% and 70% of the face value of the note. Do you want to open a comedy club, Doug? Name the comedy seller.

If Noam's people can put his model in place, and then I just become an equity partner in a specific location and then there could be two-way value. Well, Dov, keep an eye out. Look at any of these. I feel bad because these are the ruins of people's lives, but if

any of these places on Bleecker Street, any of these classic spots on Bleecker Street, which are already built as nightclubs, which is what's nice about them. They can be turned into a comedy club relatively easily street yeah any of these classic spots on bleaker street uh which are already built as nightclubs which is what's nice about making return to the comedy club relatively easily if any of them become available let's grab it what was the one that you loved that i was did you have a location known that that location that you were talking about what was a pretty good location it was a great location but it was it was gonna it had to be built from scratch it was gonna require a big investment and it was a big location, but it had to be built from scratch. It was going to require a big investment, and it was a big location. But there's other places on Bleecker Street now, which could become available.

I don't know. I don't know how this relates to Bleecker Street, and it's all market-specific. But retail is off in Soho by 50%. I've read as much as 50% of where it was in 2019. Wow. Talking about really significant decrease in where

these numbers are going. It's going to shift the neighborhood. They've also initiated a zoning change in Soho. They're going to alter the density to allow a lot more people and people of color in affordable housing situations. You might want to rephrase that. They're not actually changing the zoning to allow people of color.

No, no, no, no, no, no. But that is a part of the- I understand, I understand. But the way you said it, like they're changing the zoning to allow people of color. I mean, the zoning has been that way for a long, long time. And so the density in Soho is low. And when you incentivize developers with tax incentives, the contract with the city is that you provide 30%

affordable housing. And so it is going to alter the nature of the neighborhood. I'm saying it as though it's a good thing for a business and that the density will be higher. Anyway. Yeah. I mean, who knows? Because, I mean, I don't know. New York is- No, no, nobody knows. I don't know what you guys are talking about, but I want in on this, and I'm very motivated to make money. You want a piece of the action? I'm sure a lot of people would want a piece of the comedy cellar

if they opened up a new location. The question is, how many partners does Noam want to take on if he does decide to go forward with it? He's already got, you know, people that he works with. By the way, speaking of partners and the comedies, any Vegas news? Is there any chance that the Vegas Club will open this year in 2020? This year in 2020? I doubt it.

They tell me nothing. The Rio is not opened. It's a sad story, but I try not to think about it. Thanks for asking. I thought maybe Vegas would open sooner than New York. So it allows you some income or some, no income. The thing about any of these rooms opening is that you're just going to lose more money as soon as they open until there's a vaccine,

like a fly comedians out to Vegas for 25% capacity. And yeah, I mean 50% capacity. That's the funny thing. Like they think they're doing restaurants a favor by allowing them 25% capacity. It's a nightmare. 25%. Any business that's doing 25% capacity is going bankrupt quickly. I'll tell you what New York did that seems very smart or very, very good is all the street, the sidewalk. Yeah, for people who have enough room,

they might be able to make ends meet on the sidewalk. But that's a fraction of the restaurants that actually exist. And that's gone away. I mean, it's already called out, right? Yeah, well, they're starting to use heat lamps. I mean, this tent thing is like... And they're the tent situation, you know. I mean, you're just bringing

the inside outside. I don't see how that's any safer. You're just turning the outside into the fucking inside by putting up a tent,'s any safer you're just turning the outside into the fucking inside by putting up a tent and then so you're all inside again except that you're not yeah i mean there's generally there'll be more airflow if the tents have um big openings and you know um i i really don't know i mean that when i was headlining no my headline in Philly last week and then Connecticut before that. I just started coming back, but they're at 50% capacity now in Connecticut and Philadelphia. I don't know when New York will move to 50% capacity, but there's a lot of precedent for that seemingly being handled responsibly.

I don't. We can make a living. We can make a living on 50% capacity comedy. If we could get 50% capacity actually coming in, we could make some...

Right. But it wouldn't be like half what we used to make. It would be like 20%, 15% of what we used to make because the first half of the money to pay your bills to pay your bills your fixed costs don't change right well they might change a little bit but but you know a little bit less payroll maybe the landlord will continue with the rent debatement of 50 percent for a yeah, yeah. But it's your last dollar

that you really make your big money on. Well, as a building owner, when I reduce somebody's lease because of COVID, my taxes don't change. 100% of my expenses remain precisely where they are. So that's where the challenge is. I think we can just sum this all up by saying it's not easy being Jewish. They don't understand what we go through.

It's not easy. Look what happened to Jeffrey Toobin. Was he thinking about money? He probably was, right? Yeah. What else, fellas? I don't know. It's an hour.

Well, not quite. We started a little bit late. We started about 7.15. And now we're at 8.10. My divorce is going pretty well. It's nice to hear. I just wonder if this can continue. It seems too good to be

true I've never heard of a divorce going as well as Doug's divorce seems to be going well listen knock on wood you know we've agreed on terms and I still get to see my kid a lot you know and because we're amicable I'm in

the house with them and yeah I mean I'll always miss not waking up with him in the house with them and yeah I mean I'll always miss not waking up with him in the morning but you know Are you allowed to bang now? Like a racehorse baby Okay

I can bang anything everywhere I can do it tubing style if I need to Yeah Is she allowed to bang? I'm encouraging her to get on the stick again, yes. Of course she's allowed. They're not a couple anymore. You know, I mean, whether that would be...

I don't know how strong Dove's pimp hand was. No, I know what you mean. For a while, it was a bit nebulous, but I think right now it's... I have to be mature, and I have to make the priority co-parenting and I have to, and she has to feel safe in her own life. So, so, so, you know, being

the, you know, being a little outrageous, of course she's a lot, I mean, I'm being kidding about the other stuff, but, uh, what about, what are the rules about whether she can bring a boyfriend around your son well she's not allowed to do it dog style in her house because i pay the rent if you want to go missionary that's going to be up to you but it's got to be after the boy is sleeping you know she's gonna have to be able to live her life. I mean, that being said, I'm in that house four days a week with my kid, and I want to be supportive, and I'm paying for it. But when I'm not there, the idea that she couldn't have anybody over after the kid goes to sleep would be draconian, and I don't want to create enmity between us.

It's not good for the kid. This is where the amicable divorce could become less amicable if she wants to move in with somebody. Then all of a sudden, you know... It adds a wrinkle. I mean, it would also

reduce my fixed costs every month because if she moves in with someone, I'm not, you know, I'll no longer be on the hook for a significant amount of what I'm currently on the hook for. So there's an upside in that as well. But listen, we'd have to work through that. You know, somebody's going to have to know that's my kid and I'm going to be going out there and I'll be with him, you know,

four days a week and the rest of the time in the city. So what's the lesson from this? If you have like a five-year relationship where you can barely stand each other and you have two good weeks, that's probably not the time to decide to get married. Is that the? Yeah. No, that's one of the lessons. The other lesson is, yeah, is that, is that, and I think, when people show you who they are, believe them for better or worse.

Maya Angelou. Is that Maya Angelou? Maya Angelou, yeah. Well, it all comes back to Maya Angelou. May the cage bird sing? What was the name of that? What are you saying? She didn't believe you when you showed her who you were? No.

No, no. I think we both, you know, wanted each other to change more than the other person would. And so in believing somebody when they show you who they are, in the psychological lexicon, they

call it characterological, meaning these traits that are relatively immutable. They're innate. And so, you know, just there's a give and take and there's compromise, but nobody's going to suddenly become not the person they were six months ago. And you got to, you know, play that out. Your cost benefit should, should, should. But at the same time, you have the kid was so you you know you wouldn't necessarily do any i mean you're the trade-off was that you have the kid it was a

worthwhile um endeavor and i wouldn't have a kid had i not pulled that trigger and so i don't look at the marriage simply with regret and i'm i'm less angry with her for not being who I needed. I'm more, you know, the personal responsibility associated with, I made the decision to continue. So if she doesn't, you know, anyway, What does she want you to change? How does, how would you, how would she like you to change you think? Oh, to be, I get a little upended by things and i run hotter than

she does and i i like expression and and sort of the notion of like the root word of relationship is relatability and i want acknowledgement i've been working on this new thing it made me crazy we were in costco and she sent me into the big walk-in refrigerator for blueberries. They have vegetables and fruit. Sends me in for blueberries. I come out. I said, there are no blueberries. She looked at me. She goes, you don't see anything. You live in your head. You don't. And then she just huffed off, walks in, comes back out. She's got a bucket of raspberries. I said, what's that? She goes, I got raspberries. We start walking with that big cart. Doesn't mention the idea that there were no fucking

blueberries. No acknowledgement around the idea that I was not crazy. You understand? There were no blueberries. So what you're saying is that she would like you to change by accepting her bullshit. That's kind of what you're saying.

I'm not a therapist, but I don't think you're playing this game properly. She doesn't need to defend herself. I mean, this is like really, I mean, I've never met her, but I'm going to say. She's wonderful. On her behalf here, you know. She is my, you know, I've known Dove through several women, several girlfriends. And, you know, she's my favorite. But because I only know, you know, what I know.

Right. No, no, no. That's fair. I mean, listen, the notion of somebody who's not expressive and is innately defensive, and look, there are a number of things, without getting into the psychological weeds, that make it an untenable relationship, don't make her a bad person. Of course not. context of a romantic sustained relationship, I think it will become a problem. I think the notion that the nature of a very defensive response system is that you're going to create a frosty environment. And, you know, her relationships have ended in such a way, I believe it's suggestive of some pathologies psychologically, and I gotten my own what those are those those are those errors but you but you are defining this and really as as her being the the moving

part here that that she that she's the fulcrum if she if she would change you guys would get along fine and uh it's really not about you changing. That sounds like what my husband says. If I would just change, we would get along fine. You're saying that... No, don't even... I can just see you cooking up some fucking response to that. You and your husband seem to get along pretty well.

Does anybody have any comments about my new hat? Wait, wait. She's about to spill the beans about her husband. You and your husband seem to get along pretty well. We don't all the time at all. I mean, maybe in front of you we do, but isn't that the case for most relationships? Me and Juanita are exactly the same in front of you as we are not in front of you. We go head to head.

I mean, I mean, I don't know. Periel, it sounds like you're having trouble there. Periel, is there a danger of this marriage dissolving at some point in the near future? I mean, I hope not. I don't think so.

Is Guy here? Can he come on and join us? I mean, I hope not. I don't think so. Is Guy here? Can he come on and join us? I'm good a couple of times. That would be a good episode to have. I'm just saying, I think relationships are challenging, especially when, I mean, we're very different people

in a way that, I mean. No one on Juanita, I think, win the prize for very different people in a way that, I mean. Noam and Juanita, I think, win the prize for very different people, at least on paper. I don't know anything about your husband, but I look at Noam and Juanita and I see very different people on paper. Noam, is that fair to say? Oh, yes. Very different people that happen to, but very different people in a way that somehow

works. I mean, you can be very different in a symbiotic way, in a complimentary way, right? I mean, very different. We've only been together for like 30 years. What? No, no, I'm in one year. My wife, when you're sure everything else away,

my wife is just a very nice, decent person. And that is the basis of the relationship. She never takes advantage of anybody. She doesn't lie. She has no guile. She's never scheming or whatever it is. That's why when we went through this Louis thing, it was so easy. She was like, well, go do what you have to do.

No problem. So that's, you know, I mean, I see other relationships. She doesn't really care about money. She's very chill. In other things, we don't get along, to tell you the truth, in other aspects. But that core principle that we're both, I think, nice, decent people, I think I am too. But she definitely is. That's why I think it works.

Yeah, yeah. am too but she definitely is uh that's why i think it works yeah yeah and irregardless i know that's not a word but i like to use it irregardless of your differences that is a word again well they say it's not a word i mean look it up irr i think it is a word because i looked it up i don't use it i just say regardless but i'm gonna look it up right now well Well, it is a word. The question is if it's considered a word that is standard English. It's non-standard. It's like, yeah, gonna is a word, or ain't is a word. You know what, Dan?

I stand corrected. It says right here, non-standard. It says it right there. Non-standard. Non-standard. What I'm trying to say is... That's what they used to say about all sex. What I'm trying to say is I That's what they used to say about oral sex. What I'm trying to say is I think that there's something... I understand what Doug is saying in the sense that in the way that you relate to each other,

that can be problematic. I mean, I think that I experienced that with my husband. I think he experiences that with me too. Oh, you know what? But as you're saying that, Noam, I heard Eric Weinstein use a phrase and he called the challenge he had talking to someone he was interviewing

as having profoundly different inference patterns. The core similarity thing I think resonates with me insofar as there is a kind of that core compatibility. But when you have profoundly different inference patterns with another human being, it requires so much more work to find the center of the thing. And I think- Define what an inference pattern is. I'm not sure I know what it is. What's that now? I'm not sure I understand what an inference pattern is. I mean, I think I can infer what it might be, but go ahead. Of course. No, no. But the notion of inference- I'm sure Periel would infer something quite different. So you better explain it to us.

Right. Of course. So I remember beeping the horn with her. We were in Hawaii and some guy's falling asleep at a green light. And she would jump as though she experienced some significant liability there. And I was like, what are you doing? And then she goes, why do you have an attitude? And so our inference, our experience of what is happening is almost two alternate realities. And there isn't enough core compatibility. And so if you're talking to somebody politically known, and you're using the word, you know, hypocritical, their inference pattern, if they have never experienced any intelligent, reasonable, centrist, conservative philosophy, is always that the hypocritical, it's the light going off is in an area

that it may not be going off for you. It's almost like the ability to sit down at the cellar and debate somebody. Somebody talks with their hands. For my wife, that was a threat. For another person, it's just communication. The inference of the word or experience is massively different, and that's what I mean by inference patterns. I have it when I go to California.

By the way, I Googled, this is unrelated, I Googled woman masturbating Zoom accidental to see if there's been any verified cases. And I see a headline teacher accidentally streams masturbating on Zoom, but it's pornhub. And it's you know, it's just

it's not real. So Mario, what do you put the odds of your marriage staying together 10 more years I mean let's hope high right let's get through COVID first my wife would say there's no fucking way he's going anywhere that's what my wife would say

I can't say that there might be a chance that he's going somewhere I'm not sure where he's going anywhere. That's what my wife would say. Right, that's true. That is, I can't say that there might be a chance that he's going somewhere. I'm not sure where he's going, but he might be going somewhere. We wish you luck, Perriello, although I'll tell you, without mentioning any names, there's more than a few fellas

that have remarked to me that you are desirable and attractive. Perriello's a desirable woman. So regardless what happens, you will have options. Thank you. I really appreciate that vote of confidence. That's what I, that's, I hear things, you know. And that vote of confidence has been communicated

by somebody that looks like just fell off a Naughty by Nature album cover. This is my new, as you may or may not know, tomorrow is my birthday. Unfortunately, I won't celebrate it as I often do at the comedy cellar with a cake. And they will often bring a cake in. I didn't know it was your birthday. I don't keep track of anybody's birthday. Tomorrow.

So my sister got me this hat. So you will not say anything negative. I certainly won't. I think the hat looks great. Dan, what are you doing for your birthday? I'm on it. I have a family dinner tomorrow night. And that's all.

How do you do something like that? Outside? Yeah, it'll likely be outside or social distance inside. weather permitting. I don't know. Tomorrow, actually, it looks like rain. What's social distance inside? What does that mean? Well, that means that they have, you know, 25% capacity. They have less capacity than they normally would, which is what the restaurants are doing anyway. On an emotional level, Dan's been practicing social distancing for around five decades.

Five decades now. I'm sorry to hear your relationship's falling apart. I think you did. No, I did not. It is not perfect. And that the prognosis is cautiously optimistic i said thank you dan i said that we butt heads sometimes is i think what i said from which you extrapolated that i was like filing for divorce tomorrow all right well i think he's looking, you know, misery loves company. Now I think known because he's not in a happy place right now.

Perhaps he wishes you the same. My influence battery. Oh, look. I caught my kid standing under a picnic table umbrella for about six minutes. Masturbating. He was laying down a tube. That's an adorable picture i i assume i got some social media uh traction did you put it on instagram i don't know i mean i know you're not you know necessarily big on that you you know you put two words together there dan it was interesting it's interesting on the brain works you could have said social media traction or social media attention. And you said social media attraction.

Attraction. I said traction. Oh, you said traction. I thought you said attraction. I'm sorry. I can't correct it. Dan, why did you put Dove's penis on our notes of... Because I sent Perrielle and Dove a list of possible topics.

And the last topic was Dove's penis. It's called a joke, Perrielle. Obviously, we're not going topic was Dove's penis. It's called a joke, Perrielle. Obviously, we're not going to discuss Dove's penis. We've already discussed it. Listen to Perrielle. She's like, it's not that I want to talk about it. I'm just wondering, Dan, why did you put that on

the list? Not that I'm interested in talking about it. I'm really not that at all. I'm just curious why you put it on the list, Ben. It's an impressive enough piece of equipment. There's really not much more to say about it than that. But it is interesting thinking about going back out into the dating world and how to navigate all of that in the age of COVID.

I mean, I, for the first time, when I was headlining in Philly, it was the first time I actually talked to women at relatively close range that had been in the audience. And, you know, what do you do? You test everybody. I mean, you got to. But what did you do is the question. He fucked both of them. Well, yeah, a guy's got to, you know, you got to buy your ticket and take your ride.

I mean. No, that's insane. a guy's got to, you know, you got to buy your ticket and take your ride. No, that's insane. You cannot be going into proximity with, no, that's not good. I think it's safest to be a bottom and get a reach around. I think that's really the way to do it.

That's the way to do it. You know, you've got to Unfortunately, this heterosexual thing is really jamming me up yeah our time has passed alright oh it's 8.30

no I meant heterosexuals yeah yeah anyway we'll leave the audience with that I suppose happy birthday Dan happy birthday So we'll leave the audience with that, I suppose. Happy birthday, Dan. Happy birthday. And everybody says happy birthday on Facebook.

And I get hundreds of birthday messages. I feel good about myself. But then the very next day is Ray Allen's birthday. And he gets the same amount of attention. It's like everybody's getting the same. Everybody's getting the hundreds. Everybody's getting attention on their birthday. So I don't know. It's like, everybody's getting the same, everybody's getting a hundred, you know, everybody's getting attention on their birthday.

So, I don't know. It's not just me. You want to, why don't we, you should tell Ray, let's get together at the cellar and we'll get a red wine. Okay, well, maybe Thursday, I don't know. Well, no, I mean, I'm saying if Ray, you know, tell Ray, we can, tell Ray to come.

We can sit outside and socially distance. He can have a safe wine. All right. I'll let him know. His is on the 21st. His is the day after mine. A year and a day. He was born a year and a day after me. A celebration of two men having been born many years ago.

Mine is on the 27th. Oh, really? Wow, we got a lot of October babies. October. So you're a Scorpion? Emerson Davidoff is on November 2nd. There's a lot of birthdays coming. My niece is November 1st.

There you go. So a lot to celebrate in the coming months. Anyway, my niece is April 20th. Shut up. Nuh-uh. Seriously? That's Hitler's birthday, yeah. It's also April 20th.

I think it's the day Abe Lincoln died. Is it not? I don't know. Maybe it was April 15th. Because the Titanic was the 15th, I believe, or the 12th. Hold on a second. The Titanic was April 15th, and Lincoln

was shot. Lincoln death was April 14th. He was shot. I think he died on the 15th. He did. He died on the 15th. All right. Hitler's birthday was the 20th. He did. He died on the 15th. All right. So, so,

and Hitler's birthday was the 20th. So a lot going on in April. Anyhow, that's it. And by the way, just for the record, not that I, usually I wouldn't say this, but I actually meant it.

I was, I was trying to tease Perrielle about this point about, because she always said, you know, talks about gender being, whatever, gender and sex

and all that stuff. But I do feel bad that I said regular women. I didn't mean that. This is the end. Ladies and gentlemen, for our final segment of the show, it's the weekly segment called Walk Back with Noam Dorman. No, I really, I mean, sometimes I edit these things out, but I'm not going to edit this out. But I just really didn't, I didn't mean that. I was really just, I was just trying to point out to Perrielle that she contradicted herself about something.

Noam's heart has always been the right place. He can do no wrong. Noam Dorman, 2024 President of the United States. Perrielle is of the mind that not only is she want to

trans people to have a life and not be discriminated against and all that, I think which most decent people do and want to be treated with respect. She, she goes this extra step and saying like a trans, a trans female competing against a cis, right. Whatever the terminology female is like, like why, what's so well, what's the big deal about that? Like, even though the trans female, you know, laps, she lapsed everyone else in the high

school. First of all, most... And she was like, well, you're even to talk, like, why are you even mentioning that? Like, you're something you have to talk. I know, like, that's not a fucking issue. The issue is that, like, trans women of color have, like, the highest murder rate of, like, any group of people in the United States. We've been through this.

First of all, the unfortunate statistic about that, if you want to bring that up, is that like in all these crimes, they're usually killed by people like themselves. But who gives a shit about this sport thing? And most people do not want trans women to have safe, nice, healthy lives.

That's not true. I think most people do. I don't. You said most decent people. So however, whatever percentage of people you think are decent. Right. Which I,

you know, I think are the majority. It may not be the, I mean, the conservative Supreme court of the United States read trans rights into a gender bill. A couple months ago, this is the right wing people have did that.

I mean, come on. But, but on the other hand just like you you understand the inherent logic in not having um 200 pound people competing in lightweight boxing divisions no i'm serious like there is something we have to think about and saying well having somebody who had a testosterone bath for 20 years competing against females. I'm not an issue I feel passionately about taking up.

Well, right, because you're intimidated by political correctness. So you will always buckle and say the emperor is dressed. That's just the way you are. I'm not intimidated by political correctness. I just don't give a shit about that issue. That is such a typical, you know, obfuscation that people do. What about this?

I don't care about that. Okay, that's not the point whether you care about it or not, but what about it? Like, my law professor asked me a tough question. I never said to him, professor, I don't care about that. You have to answer, you have to answer the question. You can't just, you can't just embrace half the logic and then the part that's inconvenient

decide not to care about that. That's not, that's not argumentation. 2024 guys. I got to run. I gotta be crossed out. Okay. Podcast at ComedyCellar.com for comments, suggestions, queries, compliments, criticisms. Good night.

Good night. And you can follow us on Instagram at LiveFromTheTable and listen to this wherever you get your podcasts or watch it on the comedy sellers channel on YouTube