The Comedy Cellar: Live from the Table - Bonus Episode 4: Comparison is the Thief of Joy

Episode Date: April 18, 2023

Noam Dworman, Dan Naturman and Periel Aschenbrand talk tragedy in comedy, meditation and Chat GPT steals Dan's joke.

Are we ready? We're ready. We're ready? This is Table Talk, the bonus episode for Live from the Table, the official podcast of The Comedy Cellar. And this is Dan Aderman with Periel Ashenbrand, co-host of Table Talk, and Noam Dormans decided to stick around. We just recorded a show with Alan Dershowitz where we talked about Trump,

we talked about what's going on in Israel. We will not be talking about those things on the bonus episode, which tends to be more comic-centric, generally speaking. I saw Judy Gold's show, by the way. It was very good. I won't talk too much about it because Periel hasn't seen it yet. I'm seeing it on Saturday. Her show.

I will just say that I kind of disagree and have, I think, expressed this sentiment with her basic premise that comedy is now more than ever under the gun and comics now more than ever are being censored. I'm not sure that's true.

And that's kind of one of her main themes. And I don't necessarily agree with that. I think comics have always had pushback. I do think social media has intensified that. But I enjoyed the show nonetheless. I enjoyed especially her discussion about coming out on stage. I wasn't aware that she didn't come out until quite late in her career. For some reason, I thought she had been out earlier. And I enjoyed

her, also her discussion about how comedians turn tragedy, personal tragedy, without giving too much away, she talks about many of the comedians turning personal tragedy into comedy. And she did mention Keith Robinson,

who works here at the Comedy Cellar, who's had a couple of strokes. And I was very moved when when when when he was mentioned in the show. That's all I'm going to say about it. If you have any. How did you know he was moved? No, I was moved. Oh, you were moved. I was moved to see Keith Robinson. They put up his his image on the on the stage. That's all I'm going to give away. And and and she mentioned how he is a stroke survivor and what didn't mention, or she didn't get too into it, because she mentioned him alongside a lot of other people that are, there's several comedians that have had terrible illnesses.

And she mentioned Gary Goleman's depression. She mentioned some other person who had a really horrible, was in the hospital. Yeah, something horrible. I don't know that I would have the strength to do this. You barely have the strength to be healthy. You're absolutely correct. You're absolutely correct.

But Keith Robinson, who I don't know if we've mentioned on this show, but what he has accomplished since having two strokes, being seriously compromised physically and vocally, and has turned it into really comedy gold. I mean, he talks about his experiences as a stroke survivor, and vocally, and has turned it into really comedy gold. I mean, he talks about his experiences as a stroke survivor, and it's great. And he comes here, and not only does he come here and do the 10-minute sets, he does an hour.

He's like, I got a whole new hour. I think this is absolutely incredible. And, you know, so I would just say that. I think it's really interesting that you just said that because as we were talking about it, it was Gilbert Gottfried. It was the one year anniversary of his death. And our dear friend Dara Gottfried just had a piece published in People magazine that came out today about Gilbert. And she said Gilbert used to talk about the comedy and tragedy masks. He'd say, comedy and tragedy are roommates.

Wherever tragedy is, comedy is looking over his shoulder and sticking its tongue out at him. That's what got him fired. That's what got the Dalai Lama fired, too. No, he made a joke about the tsunami, right? Is that how he got fired? Yeah, yeah. And Gilbert also was not healthy those last few years, but continued to work.

Yeah. And I don't know exactly what, like, I mean, I know he had myotonic muscular dystrophy, I believe it is. I don't know exactly what his condition was, but he wasn't in top shape. No, he wasn't doing well. The past couple of years, and still continued to get on stage and do his thing. And Noam, you're absolutely right. Even under the best circumstances, I don't function.

I think you would still do it. I think it's easy to sit here and say that if I was this, if I was that, but I think that when you're in the situation, you don't really have that much of a choice. It's one of the things that actually keeps you going.

I would imagine that Keith really looks forward to that even though it's difficult. Maybe even more so. Yeah, I guess so. What is the other choice? Just to stay at home? Right, that's the other choice.

But his attitude is so great. And, you know, I just very much in admiration of that. I wanted to discuss a joke that I, a new joke of mine that is to do with, apparently I recommend that I download Headspace, which is a meditation app, to get anxiety and depression that I'm currently grappling with under control. And I got a joke out of it. And the joke is, and the joke worked like a charm. The audience laughed heartily.

But I'm not proud of the joke. And I just want to hear what you all think. Whether this is hacky, quote unquote. The joke is, I talk about how there's four different meditation guides. There's an Australian guide. There's an English woman. And there's a couple of Americans with a very neutral transatlantic or midlantic accent. I said, those are the accents appropriate for meditation.

You wouldn't want a guy from the Bronx going, okay, here's what you're going to do. You're going to breathe. So anyway, that's the joke. And I can extend it as much as I want. You know, you're freaking breathing. Whatever I want to do with it, I can go in whatever direction. Now, and it gets last.

It got last year. It got last in the audience. But it is, it seems too easy. And it's part of a long line. Don't worry about it, Dan. The ones that don't come easy are not working for us. Okay, okay. But there is a long line.

There is a long kind of tradition of jokes about accents and how they're perceived. A lot of people have jokes about how English people sound classy, whatever they say. That's a whole genre. Then there you have Brian McFadden who does a joke about you don't want to get on a plane and your pilot is like, hey, you know, similar. Brooklyn. He says Brooklyn.

I say the Bronx. But it's the same. Completely different. You know. Then a teller has a joke about phone sex. Well, you know, I like, you know, phone sex. I want to get like an operator. You know, I don't want a Russian phone sex.

You'll give to me. Fuck. There's just a lot of jokes about these sorts of accents. As a jihad. Also the government. That's a whole other joke. Yeah, that's a whole. That's a joke about an Arab guy making a reservation back when.

I guess you could say such things and it wasn't considered politically. What's your name? Joe. Yes. That was David Tallent with terrorists making a reservation on an aircraft. Not an air, but a terrorist. I'm hysterical.

Who happened to be an aircraft. But so... Let me answer you. Yeah, go ahead. First of all, I think that it's a very clever and sort of unique take on the particular subject that you're talking about. But aren't there also like premises that like lots of different jokes can be made out of? And I don't think that that's inherently hacky, right?

No, you're right. I get no falling asleep. I think that that's inherently hacky, right? No, you're right. They're, I mean, you know. I get no falling asleep. Listen, Dan, you're right. It is easy. It's a little derivative. It's funny.

It's one line. Right, you're right. You're right. Go with it. It's still funny. I still wanted to have the discussion because I think it's interesting to listeners inside the comedy mind and how we think. Music exists on creativity and then tropes.

Like, da-dum-dum-da-ba-da-dum. Like, you know, it's like, and satisfying. It's just the way it is. Some things, you know. It's really funny. It's funny. Okay. I really like the Australian guy myself.

Oh, I think he's the founder of Headspace. I think. I think I read that. We were supposed to. I don't find Headspace useful. I close my. Try Sam Harris's. Oh, he does meditation.

He has. I find that I need distraction and meditation is all about no distraction. And then no distraction means thoughts start filing in. Ruminating. But it doesn't work for me. It teaches you. I think that's that's the curve. You start that way. Yes. You learn notating. But it doesn't work for me. But it teaches you. I think that's the curve. You start that way.

Yes. And you learn not to deal with it. Yes. Is that you're not supposed to just push it all out. You're just supposed to let the thoughts pass through. I mean, that's, I think, that's how it starts. We were supposed to take a meditation class together, remember? You and Sean.

Me and Noam. We were going to do TM. Do you remember that? Mm-hmm. Noam seems to me going to do TM. Do you remember that? Noam seems to me to be, I've said this before, I say to people, that if I could trade not personalities, but if I could trade happiness with Noam,

I would jump at the chance because he's, unless I'm wrong, he seems to be a pretty content guy. I know he has some issues with aging and he's a little bit scared of getting older that's what they said about robin williams nobody said that about everybody knew robin williams was very very troubled gnome seems to be the most content guy i know he's so grumpy all the time he can be grumpy from time to time but i went first of all when I see him on music night every Monday,

the smile on his face lights up the room. He's so happy. He loves being a parent. Yeah, that's true. He doesn't hate being a husband. Which is mildly most husbands. I'm way happier than Perry also. You know, he loves

he loves and he's financially comfortable and enjoys certain things. He enjoys coming to comedies and having discussions with his friends, including that

libertarian whose name you won't mention, but the joy he gets from coming to the Comedy Cellar and having discussions with people, the joy he gets from his family, the joy he gets from family vacation. Is it me? Am I crazy? Are you one of the happiest dudes out there?

I think you're right, Dan. I'm very fortunate. I'm losing my hearing. That gives me a lot of anxiety, and that's like a Shakespearean tragedy with the playing and the music I think you're right, Dan. I'm very fortunate. I'm losing my hearing. That gives me a lot of anxiety. It's like a Shakespearean tragedy with the playing and the music because it's related. Am I mic-oing it out?

No, it's your hearing. For the most part, you're correct. There's not much I love being a parent. I spent three whole days at Disney World and Universal, eight, nine hours in a row with these kids. Went on every single ride, almost every single ride.

It was grueling. Grueling but? But yeah, I was happy to do it. It was fun. Listen, the only thing that bothers you, I guess, is age, right? I mean, that's the only thing that seems to... I bother him. It's outrageous.

The age thing is hard. But I have a friend of mine who took his kid to my age, male, took his kids to Disney World two days before I did, and the father lasted like two rides and went back to the hotel room and let the mother continue with him the rest of the day. That's outrageous. Listen, I keep...

And Noam also gets joy, I think, out of... I mean, what joy do you get, if any, out of you expanding over at the McDonald's? Is that giving you great pleasure? That process?

You know, it hasn't really kicked in yet. I think the building and all that is very, you know, it's engaging, so that's fun in a way. I'm nervous about this one because unlike... We discussed this one because unlike opening the Underground,

which is kind of under the radar, we had a chance to refine it and get the kinks out and all that stuff, and there were significant kinks. Ray Davies. Okay, go ahead. What's that? Ray Davies. The kinks.

Ray Davies. Oh, the kinks. My headphones are going out. This one I know is going to open probably with a lot of fanfare and probably media attention and even reviews or whatever it is. So it really has to be right on day one. So I'm stressed about that. I've never opened with that kind of scrutiny. But, you know, whatever.

I'm very happy to have that property for my kids. In so far as just you're worried about your kids won't be able to make a living, so you're trying. Yes. Well, you know, so it dovetails. You know this guy Lee Fong, the writer from The Intercept? Do you know who he is? No.

He just left The Intercept. It's in the news. And he started his own Substack thing. Okay. know who he is? No. He just left The Intercept. It's in the news. And he started his own Substack thing. Okay. And I met him in Israel. We have very different politics, but I like him.

I think he likes me too. So, and I said to him, there's no substitute for being your own boss. It's like, you know, I don't know how you're going to do financially,

but you're going to be your own boss. And once you're your own boss, you really don't go know, I don't know how you're going to do financially, but you're going to be your own boss. And once you're your own boss, you don't go back. You don't want to go back. So I do worry about my kids making a living, but I also would like them

to be able to be their own boss because fucking work for somebody else. I mean, my God, what a way to live. I wouldn't know. But you have three kids,

so is there enough pie for all three to be their own boss? I don't know. Well, somebody's going to be. There's certain professions where you are your own boss. That can create problems. I mean, you know, if you have a business and the kids are squabbling over the business, or one kid is really shining in the business, and the other kids are just kind of like.

You never know what's going to happen. Doing nothing. One of the main reasons I didn't want to be a lawyer is because I just didn't want to have the partners telling me what to do and the clients. I don't want to answer to people. Your whole life is answering people. The stress of having to answer to people.

You freak out when SDCs are set. Imagine this all day long. It's just like Answering to people Do you freak out when SD sees your set? I don't like it I don't freak out as a strong word, but I do have a strong reaction I know no as I said mentioned last week no one was in the audience. I was like, what the hell you doing here? You know it did It did it did. Yeah, I did. I didn't like it. You didn't like no I'm watching you either

Oh, don't you have a sense that maybe these people are actually rooting for you and are excited to see you? He didn't think I didn't have a right to be there. I get it. It's stressful. He certainly has a right to be there, and I'm sure he's rooting for me. He's rooting for the best possible show for his customers. Yeah.

But as Noam has said quite explicitly on the air, if I stop killing, he'll stop using me. That's right. He said he might just cut me a check, which actually I might prefer. But, you know, assuming I needed it. If I was in dire straits. But he would not use me. In other words, he would not use me if I weren't doing the job.

And there's so many new comics. Listen to me, Dan. They're coming here. And fortunately, my joke writing is, I mean, I don't think anybody writes better jokes. I mean, there are people who write as good jokes, but better? No, you're at the top. I don't think there's anybody writing better jokes. I'm glad to tell you that part of what Noam's, you know, happiness or contentness comes from is that he's not looking at other people being like that guy is happier than I am.

Because there are people looking at you and we've had this conversation many times being like, if only I had Dan Natterman's ability to write jokes or that head of hair or whatever it is. All right, all right. Shlong. Thank you for just ruining it. You say that in jest, but it's fairly respectable. It's not enormous, but it's a decent size. I think that you would find a lot more contentness. Can you stop on the phone?

It says Louis C.K. I thought maybe something for our show, but whatever. What? I stopped. Go ahead. Well, now I want to know what it is. Forget about it. Go ahead.

Go ahead. Is that you might be a lot more content if you could learn how to do that. That might help. I mean, this is like. Don't compare and despair. I'm saying that comparison is the thief of joy. Comparison is the thief of joy? Did you make that up?

Shut up. It sounds quote worthy. Shut up. Is that Oscar Wilde? Well, people say, you know, don't compare and despair. No, comparison is the thief of joy. Are you fucking with me? You've heard that before?

I'm not fucking with you. I've never heard that. That's a thing. You've heard that, Dan? I've not heard it expressed that way. Like I said, I've heard it in terms of comparing. Is that Chachi PT? Comparing and despairing.

It might be Oscar Wilde. Comparison is the thief of joy. All right, we got it. Comparison is the thief of joy. There's a tenet in Judaism and I said this before and you like poo-pooed me but that you only look over to what your neighbor has to see if you can

help give them something that they need you never look over to what somebody else has and compare what they have to what you have because you'll never be satisfied I'm Googling. Comparison of the Thief of Joy is often attributed to Theodore Roosevelt.

However, there is some debate. Is Benjamin Netanyahu? Shut up. There is some debate over whether he actually said it or someone else. Regardless of its origin, the quote has become popular. I never heard it. And it's often used to remind people that comparing themselves to others can be damaging to their own sense of happiness and well-being.

That's ChatGPT. Noam, I don't get the sense that you compare yourself to others. I mean, you've mentioned in passing certain friends. That's what I just said. Yes. But I'm going to ask, but maybe you're wrong. Well, everybody compares themselves to others in certain things. But, I mean, listen, I'm very lucky.

I understand that I'm very lucky. I understand. I understand that I'm very lucky and that it would be unbecoming of me to walk around discontent with my life because basically everything,

it's bad luck to even talk this way, but everything in my life has been, has been very good. And you're very lucky too. In certain respects. In many respects. In many respects. Do you practice gratitude?

Do you write a gratitude journal? Do you wake up every morning and say three things that you're grateful for? Oh, shut up, Ariel. You shut up. That's a really important thing to do. I haven't done that. Well, you should try. That's a really important thing to do. I haven't done that.

Well, you should try. You do that? Yeah, I do. Don't you run out of things after a week? Well, you can repeat, right? Like a fucking Jewish prayer, you say the same thing every morning? You can do reruns. It could be anything.

What did you say? I'm calling bullshit on this whole thing. You didn't say anything. You said three things. What were they? I said the first thing i'm grateful for is that gnome is losing his hearing um second thing the second thing you're thankful for your sense of humor um what did i say today i don't know it could be i'm working on a writing project that i'm really you know know, excited about.

I don't know, whatever. It's maybe private, but it doesn't matter. The point is, is that there's science that backs this up, too. And I actually hope that you never lose your hearing because I take such joy in driving crazy. After your humiliation telling us that Kentucky Fried Chicken was an actual chicken. I'm not embarrassed by that at all. I don't think you should be telling us about science. That was posted on, how much traction did that get on the Instagram?

I'm not humiliated by that. There's millions of people who thought it also. Millions of people voted for Trump. That's true, too. Anyway, there is science about practicing gratitude. Yeah, I believe it. Yeah, it's probably, yeah. That's not what you said, but yes, I believe that.

I did say that's exactly what I said. You said you're supposed to wake up every morning and say three things that you're thankful for. It doesn't have to be three things. Don't be so literal. You're supposed to practice gratitude every day, and you're supposed to write it down. You know, I used to make fun of, does my sassy sassy what's her name? Maya Angelou Maya Angelou because of her accent and I used to imagine like

she's in the deep south you know like what kind of what kind of family speaks like I know them when she goes home to Thanksgiving dinner they look at her like who talks this way Maya we grew up with you we know you don't talk that way and then I'm realizing Perrielle is the same way.

Like, who talks like you? Why? How do I talk? How do I talk? Is that true? I don't detect any kind of weird way. Perrielle's accent? I don't have an accent.

I'm an edamame. Anyway. She has certainly a unique laugh. Anyway, whatever. Whatever. Okay, what else? For now, when she says a word... I don't have a weird accent. I might have a New York accent.

Accent? Accent is two syllables. She just said sort of like upspeak. Alright, whatever. Moving along. We're going to start practicing gratitude. Okay, okay, okay, okay. So you didn't like headspace, which might mean that you need to do it more.

Well, maybe. Yeah, it didn't work for me, but I guess it takes practice. Yeah, that's exactly right. Now, you've never meditated? No. I tried one time. I had a bad experience with yoga. With the yoga teacher?

Yeah. Uh- yoga teacher? Yeah. Uh-oh. Go ahead. It touched me in a way that I wasn't comfortable with. Shut up. Not really. Yeah, yeah, really. When was this and who was it?

It was right in this room. It was right in this room when I lived here. A guy or a girl? A guy. I think a girl I would be uncomfortable with. Well, it depends which girl, I suppose. Any girl. A guy. It girl? A guy. I think it's a girl I would be uncomfortable with. Well, it depends which girl, I suppose. Any girl. It was a little creepy. Anyway,

I did try to listen to the meditation app one time. I do believe meditation works because I know people who do it. Coleman does it. If Coleman does it, then that's the... Jerry Seinfeld does it. Howard Stern does it. Sam Harris does it. Let's go do the TM thing.

I don't think I'm cut out for it, but I would try it. Howard Stern does it. Sam Harris does it. Let's go do the TM thing. I don't think I'm cut out for it, but I would try it. Well, that means even more reason why you should do it. I'm not cut out for it either. No, no, no. Go ahead. I just want one topic I want to bring up. I'm not cut out for it either. Go ahead. One topic I wanted to bring up is

I need to do an album because they stopped playing me on serious radio. There was some dispute with I don't know the nature of which I'm not exactly. Anyway, I need to make a recording. Now, is the sound quality, Nicole, you're a sound person. Is the sound quality of the videos from the comedy cell comedy seller just from the built-in sound system good enough for radio do you think um we can maybe dive into it later but sometimes they have like cable issues that i think they're working on correcting i don't want to speak for them but

sometimes it'll like shot out so i wouldn you know, fully put my stock into it unless you had someone really dialed into it. But yeah, of course, it's good. They would have been a number of specials recorded. But are they recorded

from the built in equipment or do they bring people in? No, well, they bring people in to use our equipment. Can I can I put that so they don't use their own cameras? They don't use their own.

No, it's their own cameras. The audio audio is they use your audio. Yeah. Can I throw it... So that's good to know. With Comedy Central, they did a TV show, they used our audio.

Oh, okay. So then that answers the question. So then all I... And is that... Which room has the best audio? Is it all good? Like if I was to do an hour at the... The underground has the most...

I wouldn't get the underground. The underground has separate stems for the audience, mics, and the things that you have. If I wanted to do two 45-minute sets, say, and people do an hour or 45 minutes, whatever it is, I get an opener, whatever, you wouldn't give me the Underground. I'll give you the Underground if you can sell tickets.

Oh, well, yeah. In other words, when the people that do these hours, are they responsible for filling it themselves? You put them on the schedule. Usually they bring in... I mean, we have pretty good cameras. But you want to do an album or you want to do a... Just an album to put on series.

But I'm saying... But an album is audio. You want video also? No, not necessarily. Well, the audio... So the audio... I mean, listen... Is the audio good even at the lounge or at the bar?

Yeah, but the thing is, if you're doing audio, I don't see why it has to be 45 minutes. You can just splice it together. No one will know it's not the same show. Yeah, like you could do joke per joke and just take it. You should record like 30 sets. So just regular

sets at the underground. Liz sends me the so is it the file that Liz sends me? I can just use that? Yeah, I can get you the regular file. You should record yourself every day. Well, it's recorded anyway. Right. And just start keeping track of your best performances.

And the audio, just put them all together into one set. And Nicole, is that something you can do to put all my audio into one set? For a fee, of course. Yeah, of course. That's something that you have expertise in? Yeah, but you probably want someone

to mix it for you and whatnot. That's like a whole other ballgame. But I know lots of people who do that who are wonderful. Yeah, that's easy. So I can go to you for that. And you can send me the audio. When you send me the video file,

I can't use that for an audio? Yeah, you can. You can take the audio. You can. You can export the audio from the video. Is the bonus episode become us working out certain logistics? The bonus episode is all kinds of things. Can I throw out a radical?

The bonus episode was my joke about accents. It was Noam's happiness. It was my accent. Your. It was Noam's happiness. It was... My accent. Your accent. Listen to me. Can I throw out a radical idea to you? Why don't you tape a special?

That's... Okay, you know, somebody approached me about that recently. That's like $5,000, $7,000. Okay. You know, I don't know. There's so many specials. That's something all comics are doing now. They're producing their own specials.

They put it on YouTube. Yeah. Hoping to get a million people to see it so that they can go on the road and fill up theaters and so on. But then they've got to write another hour because the hour's already been blown. Or to sell it. Yeah, but I'm not likely to sell it. I mean, I don't have a big following. I don't like the attitude. Well, I'm just saying. It's an I mean, I don't have a big following. I don't like your attitude.

Well, I'm just saying. It's an investment of money, and is it a good investment? Well, what else are you doing with your money? Are you investing it in other things? Plastics. What else? I mean, it seems like the best investment possible. I suppose.

But, you know, what happens is once you do an hour, the best case scenario is you blow up on YouTube. Then I need another hour to go, I ain't got it. You have, first of all,

you don't have to do an hour. You could do 45 minutes. Okay, but then you need, when you go out, then when you go out, if you do like, these comics today are coming up with

hour after hour after hour. Now, one thing I will say, I did say I have some of the best, that there's no better joke writer than me. Maybe equally as good, but no better. But prolific? Some of these people got me beat by a mile.

These people are coming up with hour after hour after hour, and I just don't work that quickly. Well, maybe this would light a fire under your ass to start writing. No, what was that? No, I'm... My knees. No, what do you think? I mean, like, what did it used to be that way?

That people used to just... I don't think it used to be that way. Like, Seinfeld had his hour, and he milked that for, like, ten years, and then he got a TV show, and became a multi-gazillionaire. But the new paradigm in stand-up is coming up with an hour every couple years so you can go on the road.

Like the old method was get a TV show, right, and become famous from your TV show. The new method is get famous from your stand-up and then do more stand-up and then do more stand-up and keep writing other hours. And it's certainly challenging. Or get your book sold and turned into a movie or a TV show. I mean, there are a million different scenarios. The stand-up world has really radically changed from when I started. I think, you know, that I think in the old days, comics, they had their hour. I mean, I don't know how.

I think Seinfeld, like I said, I think he had his hour for 20 years. Then he started, once Seinfeld was over the show, and he was going back out on the road, I think he started writing new stuff. Listen, I just saw Seinfeld, and I saw him do jokes that I've heard before, and this was at the 100th show of his residency at the Beacon. Well, I think that... but I'm just saying,

do you agree with me that prolificness is more important than ever in stand-up comedy? Yes, I do. But I also think that people are putting things like crowd work on social media because, you know, there's this demand for constant content. And crowd work, yeah. But I also think that

that's not necessarily the only endgame of you taping a special. It's not that you're thinking... Oh, you're thinking, oh, maybe people buy my book because they see... I think that there are a lot of different things that only good can come of it.

You may be right. Okay. Noam? One second. Go ahead. Noam is tuned out. I'm asking ChatGPT to write a joke about a meditation instructor with a Brooklyn accent. See what it comes up. That's an easy one, I think, for ChatGPT. Don't you think that Dan should tape a special?

Of course. So this is ChatGPT. So there was this meditation instructor. Now, this is prolific. Instantly. There was this meditation instructor from Brooklyn with a thick accent. One day, a new student walked into his class and asked, hey, what kind of meditation do you teach here? The instructor replied, forget about it.

We don't teach no fancy schmancy meditation. Just sit down, shut up, and breathe. You know what? That's not that far off. That's not that far off. That's not that far off. So the student was a bit surprised by the instructor's straightforward approach, but decided to give it a try. After the session, the student came up with the instructor and said, wow, that was amazing. I feel so relaxed and peaceful. The instructor replied, see, I told you, kid, just breathe and let go of the other crap. It's like I always say, don't get all bent out of shape.

Just sit and meditate. You know what? That's not that far off. I don't have to read it. That's amazing. That was less than a second. That is not that far off. Less than a second.

That is not that far off from what I was proposing, but what are you going to do? Don't get bent out of shape. Just sit and meditate. It ends with a kind of rhyme. Well, that part's also kind of clever, right? Because it's a play on don't get bent out of shape.

If I did that joke on stage, I probably would get some laughs. Forget about it. We don't teach no fancy schmancy meditation. This is the best part. Just sit down, shut up, and breathe. That's kind of like what I said. Just sit down, shut up, and breathe. That's kind of like what I said. I said you need to just sit down, shut up, and breathe.

I didn't say that, but it's like. You should. It's not stealing if it's from ChatGPT. Anyway, that's a little bit disturbing. But, yeah, we knew the joke was. You're talking about a Cousin Sheila joke. No, that's not a Cousin Sheila joke. I have jokes that ChatGPT is not going to come up with. But that's not one of them.

But anyway. ChatGPT is amazing. It's scary. It's amazing, but come up with. But that's not one of them. But anyway. Chat GBT is amazing. It's scary. It's amazing, but it's quite scary. How instantly it came up with it. Yeah. It's crazy. How long did that really take?

You were there. I said, as I was typing it, I said it out loud. That's absolutely insane and scary. Yeah. It instantly came back immediately. It's insane. That is in-fucking-sane. and scary. Yeah, it instantly came back. Immediately. That is in-fucking-sane. Of all the chat GPT things I've seen, that's the most frightening one.

You would think just the time it takes to bounce off the moon would take more time than that. It goes from some computer somewhere into space and a satellite back and processed it and wrote it. Are comedians going to become obsolete?

Doctors sure fuck are. I know. I don't know about comedians. Well, doctors, not surgeons. I mean, people have to do physical manipulation. Not nurses.

Definitely not nurses. Doctors. You're saying anybody that's like doing diagnoses can be replaced. He's been saying that for a minute. It was one of the first questions

we asked Tyler Cowen. I said, would you rather? And it's amazing that just this week, there were two major stories. I sent you one of them. People had their lives saved. The most recent one was some doctor told somebody, don't worry about it, you'll have long COVID.

And they typed into Chatch EPT, and it had a one in 100,000 minuscule probability of frequency disease. Minuscule of probability of frequency disease. And chat GPT as quickly as I... Diagnose it as quickly as that joke. That's incredible. Yeah. But this is exactly my point.

The reason is that doctors only know what they can remember in their head. They can't remember every low probability. Well, and they also probably don't know about every obscure... Right, but you would still need doctors to... I mean, I don't know. Can reading x-rays be automated? Absolutely. Already. What about a dermatology skin check?

There's already AI, which is more accurate than dermatologists for... You could take a picture of a growth. Skin cancer? Yeah. So they could just put you in a tube, and the tube just takes a full body scan and says... You could also probably just take a picture. So the only thing that doctors will do is surgery, I guess.

I mean, ultimately, and maybe you could get robots to do that at some point. McDonald's opens its first person. We love robots. Robots are going to be my Trump impression. We will not need, I don't know, to be zero doctors, but medicine is not going to be the same. Research doctors, obviously, will need. Maybe. Somebody's got to input all this shit.

Somebody's got to input the fact that this is what a melanoma looks like. Unless AI starts to learn. No, AI teaches itself. I guess. Chat GPT, or I think it was Chat GPT, is already manipulating digital images. But this is the kicker. It was never

taught to manipulate digital images. It teaches itself. Wow. It's very scary. It's crazy. I don't like you. McDonald's just opened its first person free drive-thru. Alright. The entire

place is run by robots. I had this argument with my mother five years ago too when they started raising you know, they have this anger towards fast food restaurants. So they want to raise the minimum wage for fast food employees.

There's whole bodies of law in New York which simply apply to fast food restaurants. They want to raise the minimum wage for fast food employees. There's whole bodies of law in New York which simply apply to fast food restaurants. I tell my mother, do you think the technology to flip burgers is so elusive? You're making it cost effective for them to just replace all the employees. What happened to kids in high school, teenagers would work in the fast food restaurant and they wouldn't make a lot of money just replace all the employees. What happened to like kids in high school,

teenagers would work in the fast food restaurant. They wouldn't make a lot of money, but it was good training to learn how to hold a job. And you were living at home. This was perfectly fine, but you know, they want everybody to be able to have like a, a family and a two car garage from working at McDonald's. And I think they're just,

Oh, we're just going to raise the minimum wage until people can make a decent life career out of working at McDonald's. That's not going to happen. It's ridiculous. Anyway, thank you for listening to the bonus episode. I think this was a really tight bonus episode. We started with the meditation.

It got a little bit. But then we found our focus again and ended strong with the chat GPT. The chat GPT was amazing. That was amazing. We dissected my joke. So this is what we should do. Whoever's doing the clips. Danny.

He should take the first part of that. Where I'm talking about my joke. We talk about the joke. And then just put the part of... What's that thing they call it? They go, five minutes later. You know that thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's used that meaning. Five minutes later. And then put the part what's that thing they call they go five minutes later you know that thing yeah yeah yeah she's used that

five minutes later and then put the thing and have me read the chat sheet that's a first class clip that's a first class clip and hopefully it'll go viral

do we tell him to do that yeah but I want the five minutes later and guess what what I'm not gonna even have to tell him to do it because he can hear it

when he listens to the episode does he listen to every episode no I'm just kidding that's a big that guy does doing a lot of. Is he listening to every episode? No, I'm just kidding. That's a big, that guy does, doing a lot of work. He's listening to like all these clips, you know.

But I think that could really be a good clip. Yeah, it is a good clip. I'm on it. Okay, thank you for listening to Table Talk, the bonus episode. Available, I don't know,

Patreon or just, no. Not yet. Maybe, maybe we should put it on Patreon. Anyway, thank you for listening. Bye-bye. Bye. Hilarious.

That was amazing. That was amazing.