The Comedy Cellar: Live from the Table - Cars and Comedy with Adam Ferrara

Episode Date: September 22, 2023

Noam Dworman, Dan Naturman and Periel Aschenbrand sit down with actor and comedian, Adam Ferrara.  Ferrara's multiple television appearances include the FX series Rescue Me, playing NYPD Sgt. Frank Verelli opposite Edie Falco on Showtime series Nurse Jackie, co-hosting the critically acclaimed BBC sensation US version of Top Gear and numerous others. His comedy album, It’s Scary in Here, debuted number one on iTunes.

This is Live from the Table, the official podcast of New York's world-famous comedy cellar, coming at you on Sirius XM 99. Raw Dog. Raw Dog, yes indeed. Dan Natterman here, along with Noam Dorman, owner of the ever-expanding Comedy Cellar. Slowly, slowly expanding. And Pierre Alashin-Brand is here, our producer. We have with us a comedic veteran and longtime comedy seller, staple, Adam Ferrara. Hello.

Adam Ferrara was in the show Top Gear, and he's going to be playing at the National Auto Museum in Reno, Nevada. Nurse Jackie. Yeah. Okay, but I was getting to the National Auto Museum in Reno, Nevada. Oh. 19th and 20th. Yes, come on now. Which is tied in with his Top Gear thing. And, of course, Nurse Jackie. Yes. There you Auto Museum in Reno, Nevada. 19th and 20th. Yes, come on now. Which is tied in with his Top Gear thing.

And, of course, Nurse Jackie. There you go. And anyway, hello. Hello, my friend. Good to see you. You know, I... That was a great show, Nurse Jackie. Oh, that was so much fun.

Why did it end? I think it was seven seasons. I think they told all the stories. But she is so sweet. Edie is so sweet. So I get the gig. Oh, I'm sorry. Go, you go. I'm saying she's so sweet. Iie is so sweet. So I get the gig. Oh, I'm sorry. Go, you go.

I'm saying she's so sweet. I get the gig, right? That's when my mother became queen of the day room in her community. She's like, I want you to know my son is working with Edie Soprano. Oh, and all the ladies flipped out. Carmella. Carmella, yeah. So she got the names wrong.

So Edie's on The Tonight Show and says that, you know, I'm going to play the boyfriend. And she's also got two kids, so she tells the whole story. So my father passed away, and my mother knits to process grief. I have more Afghans than Kabul. She's still in the black dress, my mother. So she makes winter hats for Edie's kids. Oh, that's sweet. Yes.

No, they're awful. The brim is over here. One is too. They look like little elephant man hats. They're just terrible. And she goes, I want you to give these to Edie. So I give them to Edie. She goes, that is over here. One is too. They look like little elephant man hats. They're just terrible. And she goes, I want you to give these to Edie. So I give them to Edie. She goes, that is so sweet.

And Edie sent her a card. And my mother flipped out with a note. She's like, I go, what did you do with the note? She goes, I had it laminated. It's in the curio next to the good dishes and the pictures of Sinatra. You know, somewhere in this apartment, a former apartment, is the card that John Mayer wrote me. A beautiful card when he gave me a guitar back before.

And I can't find it. And I cannot find it. I should have landed it. I don't know. But I can't imagine why you can't find it. Because it didn't happen? No. No, yeah.

It did happen. It did happen. Okay, Dan, go ahead. Say what you wanted to say, Dan. My mother doesn't know who Edie Falco is, but I was impressed that she said, in my mother's community, she said they're showing Golda with Helen Moran. Helen Moran.

Which I thought, I was pretty impressed that she even got that close. For a woman who's older that at least knows, almost got it right, I thought it was pretty impressive. But yeah, she also lives in like... Yeah, the 55 and over. Well, no, but not 55 and over. Everybody's like... 70 would be young. Yeah.

You know, so... You got the guard? My mother's got the guard. Oh, you're saying that your mother lives in an... She lives in a place that's like a normal place. It's just everybody happens to be older. Yeah, it's a 55 and over community. A little condo.

55? It's got to be 55 to buy in. But nobody's 55. We don't want kids. All, it's a 55 and over community. A little condo. You got to be 55 to buy in. But nobody's 55. We don't want kids. All right? Nah, 55 and over. But nobody's 55. I played at those places.

There's no 55 here. No, they're all 90. You know, I mean, like 70 would be, if you see a 70-year-old walk in, you're like, okay, it's a young crowd. Yeah. And they're day shows because nobody can drive at night.

So you got to get there before the sun goes down. Is this what we have to look forward to? Death? Yes. I'm at the point now where I don't sleep. I nap and pee. Does anyone else sleep? I sleep.

I sleep. Yeah? Well, I sleep. But you can keep with it until you're in your 90s if you do everything right and with a little bit of luck. You know, I just listened to, so I won't digress for too long, but I listened to Sam Harris' podcast. Right. And he had David Brooks on. I'm a big David Brooks fan.

We're trying to get him on this show. I think he might be reluctant to come on. But anyway. You think he might be what? Reluctant to come on. Well, after what happened to the last guy. He wasn't the last guy. What happened to one guy?

Well, one, the last guy. That would never happen to David Brooks because he's not a fraud. But anyway. But David Brooks said that he has the opportunity to spend a lot of time with Joe Biden. And he says, actually, I saw him.

He's not like people say. He's almost as quick as ever. And as a matter of fact, to the extent he's not the same as he was, he's more to the point and he seems physically fit. I'm like, oh, that's really good to hear. And as a matter of fact, to the extent he's not the same as he was, he's more to the point and he seems physically fit. I'm like, oh, that's really good to hear. And then like a half an hour later, he says, yeah, the Democrats have really gotten themselves into a situation.

They have an ailing president. I said, oh, no. I mean, I understand the sentiment. And you know what? And in a certain way, they could both be true. That maybe they can't both be true. To some extent, he could still say, yeah, he's still quick and he's all right. But he's getting old.

The perception, yeah. Those two statements seem diametrically opposed to one another. I did want to talk to Noam about the strike because Noam is a business owner and generally not so pro-union but before What strike? Well Writers Guild of America and Screen Actors Guild

Screen Actors Guild This has been going on for a year already Auto workers How long has it been going on? When did it start? No it's like a hundred It hasn't been

A hundred something days It had to go over 90 days because that's a force majeure so the studios can get rid of the contracts for the writers they want to get rid of. So it wasn't going to be less than,

I believe it's 90 days, don't quote me. Well, I have no opinion on the strike. I don't like strikes, but I mean, are you well-versed in this? I'll say what I want to say. Say what you want. So one of the issues is getting paid for streaming. Is that right?

Yeah. Streamers won't give up the numbers, so there's no way to. You have no idea how many times your work has been streamed. Right. And that seems like a perfectly valid complaint. And people do have the right to organize and strike. So, you know whatever i i i generally i don't like strikes especially of um you know major industries where the general public is really the one being held hostage especially you know anything that that we all need and we can't. And they use that as pressure. But within the movie industry, I mean, you know, why do I care?

I do because my pension and my health care. No, I'm saying I'm not against strikes. Yeah, you might be for it or against it, but I'm saying I think it's such a narrow community there. Have you been picketing? I have, yeah. Now, do you go for social hour or do you think it's it's having an effect i i got plantar fasciitis so i got that my heel started hurting but no i think it's to show

uh to show solidarity and be out there and you see a lot of people you haven't seen for a while so there is a social aspect of it but just to do something you know because my my health insurance is connected to residuals and then you know I don't know how much I'm getting. I mean, thank God I made my health care this year, my pension, everything else is there, and AI really scares me, too. You know, if you can generate, if you don't need the worker, and I'm the worker, you know...

Well, I think we're a long way from replacing writers, you know. I don't know about writers, but you could deep fake actors. You could deep fake actors. Actors maybe, but I think we're a ways away from certainly what stand-up comics do,

which is not SAG related, but what stand-up comics do, I don't, I think we're, I would never say never, but I think we're

certainly a ways away from that. We're not that far, the actor thing, we're not that far away from being able to, because you can do it with the voice,

you just need, the computer can take the pieces. That may well be. I don't see how the actors can... Writing, I think, we're a lot further away. But I don't think that anybody has a right to complain about whether or not AI replaces

their jobs. That's in the future. But you do have a right to say that I want to get paid fairly for the work i did yeah i did and my image moving forward you know yeah that i agree with the fact that like in the future you like should i never be able to use a robot to serve drinks yeah of course i should be able to do what the hell i want it's my business yeah no i agree with you there but it's it's it's it's the story don't kill the horse you know when the steam engine came in and all the hell I want. It's my business. Yeah. No, I agree with you there, but it's the story. Don't kill the horse.

You know, when the steam engine came in and all the farmers were like, ah, it's a fat... No, you can't do that. We'll show you ours is better. And they killed the horses because they wanted to keep up with the engine. I do have a question, Noam.

I think it would be interesting to hear your perspective. Both Drew Barrymore and Bill Maher initially said they're going to go back on the air. And their rationale was, well, there's a lot of workers that are suffering. We got grips and cameramen and all these people that are suffering. And we'll go back on the air and we won't use writers and it won't be maybe exactly as good a show. They both caved and they're not going back on the air.

But when initially a lot of people were saying well there were two arguments against drew and bill they said first argument was what's best for everybody is that the strike ends as soon as possible and for that we need solidarity we need you to to not go back on the air the second argument a lot of people made i saw online was you guys are rich just, just pay your below-the-line people, or whatever they call them, for a few months out of pocket. Now, Noam, I know you probably have an opinion about that line of reasoning. I don't see anything. That would be a perfectly valid thing for them to do, to go back to work.

No, to pay it. If you're really pulling for the strike, yeah, why not? I mean, I don't know the finances, but it's not an unreasonable thing that somebody might reach into their pocket, somebody that wealthy. But they could also be exaggerating his wealth and underestimating what that cost is. I don't know the actual details.

But the notion that a rich person might reach into his pocket to sustain some people for some period of time is reasonable. Taylor Swift did it. People do that. I know stories. I don't want to say it.

A lot of people have done things like that. Yeah, I've been on TV shows where they would tell you, look, I'm going to do X amount more so we all can find other jobs. When a show ends, you've got to get another job. What was your reaction, Adam, when Brooke, when Brooke, when Drew and Bill Maher initially said they're going to go back. I was like, I didn't agree with them, because I'm like, we all got to hang together in it.

And I was annoyed at the DGA, because the DGA, the Director's Guild, didn't join the Writers Guild. And would that have covered, like, the cameraman and all those people? No, that's the Director's Guild. So those guys are what, IATSE or something? What? Those guys are some other union, I guess. Yeah, that's the Director's Guild. So those guys are what? IATSE or something? What? I don't know.

Those guys are some other union. Yeah, they have another union as well, but I think all of us should stick to it. Like the hairdressers have a union, a makeup union. I think it's all the same. I'm not sure. And the Teamsters too.

That was the biggest thing. I did a movie right before the strike hit, and I was talking to the Teamsters because they're the ones that pick us up and drive us. I said, so what are you guys going to do? He goes, if there's one rider here, we don't have to cross a picket line. So if there's one guy with a sign, we don't cross a picket line.

I don't know. I've seen so many strikes, in the end, hurt the industries that they were in. So one of the stories I remember, so the Players Theater right next door, when I was growing up this was an active theater and they would usually have two shows on Friday

two shows on Saturday because that's when the money was to be made and at some point the Actors Union succeeded and was able to insist

that there would be a certain amount of time between performances which made two shows on a Friday succeeded and was able to insist that there would be a certain amount of time between performances, which made two shows on a Friday and two shows on a Saturday kind of untenable. Right. And it was basically the last time there was a successful show at that theater.

Now, I don't know if that's not the case that it's unsuccessful to this day, but I remember at the time speaking to people who knew about it, like, this is bullshit. We want to, and the actor was saying, we're fine. It's no big deal. We're fine to do the two shows early on. It's not Broadway where it's a seller's market. Where, yeah, where it's a seller's

market. This is a buyer's market and they wanted to get these two shows as close to the hot hours, and they can't do it anymore. So it's like Pyrrhic victories. Famously, the auto industry had a lot of readjusting to do after generous contracts that they gave. It's happening now. And the other thing about one of the things that's hurting the strike

is because of the big Amazon and Apple, this is just a small part of the way they make money. So there's no leverage. The strike has stopped. They're making money hand over fist somewhere else. So they can wait it out. Why won't they just offer a more fair deal? Because they're bastards, no.

This is what I'm thinking. I don't know. I don't know. I'm not in the room. I think it gets personal after a certain point where they're just like, fuck these guys. Even what's good for business may not... Sometimes I think it takes a backseat to just... Nobody wants to lose.

Nobody wants to cave. Well, also they're saying that they should feel... Like Ukraine. They're lucky that they get to write on this show, right? Like that seems... And as Adam said, these are companies that are in other businesses anyway. Yeah, it's not affecting their bottom line.

That's when change happens is when your stockholders go, why is this going down? It's all about green. Somebody told me that they used to write on sitcoms in the 70s and 80s and it would be like 30 episodes a season and it was a very good job.

And now they do like 8 episodes and like it's so even if they get a raise they can't make any money on yeah it's just it's it's it's well the end the way we consume it is different it's like now tv shows we were on forever you know they would run for years and these people in your home and then you get syndication if you're if you're lucky yeah but now it's like eight episodes ten it's like reading novel. It's not like getting involved in a show. So I like the guy, like these big shows like Stranger Things. You know, are those guys making the kinds of money that somebody that was in Cheers would have made in the 80s? I don't, it depends.

I mean, the writers and the creators. The creators get paid more because they have a piece of the show. Network still pays pretty well. Yeah, the audiences on streaming are probably not, like we all watch streaming, so you think they're big, but I think the audiences are way less than that. And there's no way to know because they don't want to give those numbers up.

Which is insane. Everything is so spread out. That's insane. But also a lot of actors who are on big shows who aren't like super big have said, like you think we're all like fabulously wealthy, but a lot of us are like, we're working actors.

Like most of the actors, it's like they're working from show to show. They don't have health insurance. They don't have- We got to make it every year. Yeah, right. Exactly. I used to think that anybody who was on TV was rich.

And I remember- So did I. So I got on TV. I go, what a scam this is. I remember seeing George Wallace, you know, the comedian, not the governor of georgia but um he was here actually a couple weeks ago but anyway um so i he was one of the early comedians i used to watch when i was in college on letterman and i remember he did a joke about yeah i assumed a loan i guess i assume i'll pay it or he says i'm a thousandaire you know instead of a millionaire so i'm at that

and it was funny but i said that's's funny, but dude, you're rich. You're on Letterman. Letterman, which pays, I think I got 800 bucks for doing Letterman. 916 bucks. Whatever it was. And then I took the subway home. Right. But in college, I mean, was I a moron or is this what the average college student would have thought?

You know, I figured. Both. Yeah, okay. I guess both. Two things can be true. But yeah, I just assume Yeah, okay. Two things can be true. But yeah, I just assume he must be... Two things can be true. Well, in any case, he probably is wealthy now

because I think he did a residency in Vegas. But back then, he probably was. Sure. I read an article somewhere about the last, the final episode of Succession. And I forget, I won't even try to recreate what the numbers were, but suffice it to say, the numbers are not like the last episode of MASH.

It's like 10% or 5% of that. It's just not. People who follow it think this is a nationwide event, but it's just not. Even the final episode of Sopranos is limited just to HBO, which is a small... It's not network TV. Yeah, it's not.

The biggest show on TV right now is NFL football. Yeah. That's the biggest. Judge Judy? I don't know. Those shows. She's one of the wealthiest people on television. So network news still gets a way bigger audience than cable news.

Really? Just so weird to me, right? Like way bigger. I don't know anybody who watches network news anymore, but America watches it. Yeah. You know what I watch? Whatever I can get on my phone. This is what kind of idiot I am. I get seven TVs in my house.

I end up watching the game on my phone standing over the sink eating popcorn because I know how to work the phone. Can we talk about Adam was on the Autobahn when he was hosting Top Gear? Yeah. What were you driving? I drove a Lamborghini Huracan,

which was a replacement for the Gallardo. It was a beautiful machine. And I did 173 in the left lane. It's just a two-lane highway, which is stupid because there's just people going to work. And there I am flying by at $1.73. Is it thrilling? It's scary. And it's like being aroused at knife point.

It's like, yeah, and I'm going to die. We'll talk about Russell Brand later, but go ahead. But they didn't clear the roadway for you. No. This was a TV show. We set up the cameras, but they can't. It's a major highway, and there's no speed limit on it. How long were you doing that for?

The TV show was six and a half years. No, driving at 100, TV show is six years. Six and a half years. No, we just did a speed run, so it was just however long it took. Now, Periel, if he did it for 15 minutes at 173 miles an hour, how far did he travel? Come on. I'll tell you my emotional answer. The fastest I've ever gone was 188 in a Ferrari F12 Berlinetta.

You were driving? Yeah. Are you insane? On the West Side Highway. No, I have a mortgage. This is what I had to do for the TV. Were you on the Autobahn with that? No, I was on a causeway in Utah.

And here's the thing. At about 140 miles an hour, the air gets under the car. That's why they have all the air. Also, it starts getting light, so you can actually feel it coming up. So now, that's at $1.40, around $1.80. And I'm talking to the camera. It's not like I'm just concentrating. Is it a cameraman in the car?

No, it's just they set up cameras in the car. And you're talking, and you you got to do your job. So around $1.88, my ass sensed a speed wobble. You know, a little speed wobble. You feel a little bit. And at that speed, if you wobble, that's it. You're done. You're dead.

Yeah, it's all. So I felt a little speed and I lifted. Because that's, the F12 Berlinetta, I think it's a 226 mile an hour car. And I've never gone 200. And I wanted to just to say it. No one's going to care. But I can say it. No.

But I can't. You could say it anyway. Yeah. If you're a single, it's true. If you're a single, they care. Yeah. Hello, ladies. Who's going to be late for their meeting?

Not you. Get in. So yeah. So $1.88 was fun. But it was a fun show to do. I got to go all around the world. They flew us. I was in Cuba.

I was in. I drove a pickup truck up a volcano in Iceland. What? You love cars anyway. Yeah. My father could fix anything. I don't have the if-then-go-to statement to wrench, you know, to fix things. I know how they work, but I can't. And now, the carburetor's gone.

You don't need a wrench. You need a laptop. You got to reflash everything. But it was a fun show to do. Wow. No residuals. Now, what's the riskiest thing about that speed? Is tire blowout?

Yeah, anything you're doing at that speed, it's instant bang. Your reaction time is you don't have any at that speed. And one of the risks, there's the Veyron. I believe it's the Bugatti Veyron. That can go 300, I think. No, I don't think it's two and change. It's a quick car. But when I was talking to one, it has nine radiators in it to keep the motor cold.

But they said the tires will burn out before you run out of gas when you stand. Wow. My wife, go ahead. Are you driving for like 10 minutes or 30 minutes? No, it's like a speed run. It's just a speed run. It's like five just to get it up to speed, and you'll do a speed run.

It's like not even five minutes. And what kind of a car do you drive in your real life? I bought one from the show. I bought a 1970 Buick Electra 225. Wow. It's huge. It's 18 feet 5 inches. I have three garages at my house, and it doesn't fit in any of them.

Is that fins or something? It's big. Oh, it's 1970, so it's big. I got a picture of my phone. I'll show it to you. I'll show you on radio. This is good. Buick Electra?

Buick Electra, 225. 1970. What's the fastest you've gone when you weren't on the show? I got a speeding ticket for 103 on the 5 freeway heading up to... And the guy knocked it down so I didn't go to jail. Oh, look at that. Wow.

Let the record show that's a beautiful car. What color do you have? I painted it black cherry metallic. I dropped the suspension. I smoked out the windows and I drive around Santa Monica and I play Parliament Funkadelic and scare white people. That is a gorgeous. It's an old pimp wagon.

Yeah. I got a last speeding ticket I got, I think it was 92 miles an hour on the Belt Parkway. That's good. You earned it. A long time ago trying to get when Juanita was living in Brooklyn and I wanted to get some. You earned it. I wanted to get some. I wanted to get some late at night.

There you go. But then I stopped. I might still speed like a normal person, but I don't go that fast. But that doesn't look like a car that goes like super fast. No. That's an old gangster cruiser car. Well, also, it doesn't look like it has very good handling. No. It's got drum

brakes. It's got leap springs. But that's what you drive every day? Oh, no. Every day, I got an old every day? Oh no, every day I got a old Mercedes I drive every day. And then I got a 1990 LS400 which is the first year Lexus came out with their big luxury car. So it's built like a tank because they knew they were going to be judged on it.

That car's going to go, there's the million mile Lexus which is that car. You're not jumping on the electrical bandwagon for now apparently? Okay, here's the electric one I would get. The Porsche Taycan, the wagon is really nice, but it's over $200,000. So I have a Tesla S Plaid. Oh, you got the Plaid.

I got the Plaid. Yeah. So it has the full self-driving. It's so annoying. Which is, you know, it's good for the highway. It's not really good for anything else but the highway. But to be able to use it, you have to, I think it's a month of diagnostics where the car has to judge your driving. And you have to maintain a score of 99 or 100 for it to release this beta version.

I think it's still in beta, actually. And I would get 99, 100, something like that. And my wife would get 47. Like, literally, like, I mean, so she's not allowed to drive it anymore. I mean, and for years, I've been saying, you're a horrible driver. I mean, one time she took her car to the garage

and she came back and said, they said I need new brakes. I'm like, that's fucking bullshit. Cause I'd never replaced brakes on a car in my life. Like you need new brakes. They're fucking cheating you, you know? And then again, she needed new brakes. And this is the reason cause she fucking goes really fast.

She's constantly breaking at the last minute. And it's so reckless to me that I, but she drives our kids around. And I have this conversation with myself like, well, if I really love my kids, would I let my wife drive them? Okay. And? And I can't, I'm not going to get into it with my wife, but it's worrisome to me.

Maybe if she gets older, she'll slow down. But the Tesla provides you with good, objective, you know, proof of someone driving. Even if you don't have self-driving, you'll still get the lane assist and blind spot assist. Blind spot assist, your lane assist. Yeah, yeah, you get that. But most cars have that now. I'm not buying a car that's going to judge me, okay?

Yeah. If I'm paying for the car, I'm going to drive it any way I want it. I got a wife and a car. Yeah, I don't need a car. I already got a wife and a car. I don't need a car. I already got a wife. When do you think, despite overly optimistic

prognostications, that when, if ever, we'll be able to just get in the car, enter our destination, and take a nap, and get there? It's called a cab. We got it now. Not in New York. Where do you have it? What? We got it now. It's called a cab. We got it now. Not in New York, you know. Where do you have it? What? We got it now. It's called a taxi.

Yeah, but as a self, as a, I don't know. The drive-by-wire stuff? Just a full self-driving from door to door. You know. Well, they're doing it. They're testing it now on a very small scale

with the delivery boxes, with the flags. You guys have those here in the city? We got them in California. You just see boxes, coolers with wheels, cameras, and a safety flag like a kid's bike just delivering food. So that's the beginning of it. And I was in San Francisco. They say driverless cars, but there's a guy in there mapping everything. So they are preparing for the infrastructure.

There's problems. One is that in philosophy classes, they have all these, you're driving this way, and then somebody comes here, and you have to make a decision. You hit the little kid or drive off the cliff. Yeah, yeah. Well, drive off the cliff would be the better answer here. But drive off the cliff and kill you or kill the kid who was acting recklessly by running into the street. Right.

So the cars are going to have to answer those questions within their programming. That's difficult to me. Or maybe we can program it when we get in the car and it says, you know. Kill the kid. Do you want to kill the kid? Options. Right, options. Options you want, you know, in the case we have to kill the kid.

He didn't set it to kill the kid. My husband. And then the other thing is that inevitably these self-driving cars are going to kill somebody. Something terrible is going to happen. And then the argument is going to be, yes, of course, but the general public has to understand that on a whole, in the aggregate, more lives are saved this way. And I wonder if the public will accept that or will they say, no, this is crazy. We don't want self-driving cars. I think they'll accept it if the numbers are so incredibly in favor of self-driving cars.

So instead of however many tens of thousands of deaths, you have hundreds of deaths. I think the public will certainly accept that. It's the same thing with a flying machine. That's preposterous. It's the same thing with plane crashes. It's new innovation. It's going to run its course until it's accepted. Except it's going to kill pedestrians.

That's really the problem. I think plane doesn't kill pedestrians. No, just passengers. Much better. Yeah, but the passengers have taken the risk. That's what I'm saying. Very true. Well, not the baby on your lap,

but yes. Yeah, yeah. I know one time at the airport when I was little, I told my parents, leave me here. I don't want to go on the plane. And they said,

well, we're not leaving you here. You know, so I didn't have a choice if that plane had gone down. Okay, so that's another good segue. Russell Brand. Ha!

He was driving. Speaking of not having a choice, what do we think about Russell Brand? Is this risky to your career or anything? He hasn't returned, Michael. I would just say, and I think I speak for every Jew on planet Earth

that was so happy that Danny Masterson and Russell Brand, neither of whom are Jewish, because we went, you know, with Epstein and with Weinstein. It was a rough time. Son of Sam. We went to a well. He was adopted. I understand.

You think at one point the wife turned to the husband and goes, I told you we shouldn't have got him a dog. So it was a rough time for us in the Jewish community. Unfortunately, we have to worry about it. Do Italians worry about that? I always think of Italians as basically your past. They were thrilled about the Godfather. We deny.

No, but like an Italian guy. We deny. He got acquitted. Atta boy. Come on. Who's hungry? When like, you know, the mob stuff. Is that still bothering you?

It's a fallacy. Move on or I'll leave you in the woods. stuff, does that still bother you? It's a fallacy. Move on, or I'll leave you in the woods. Hey, mumbo. Mumbo. Here's the thing with Italian people. I always figured Italians are basically white people, so they kind of don't have to worry about it. No.

First of all, it used to be a badge of honor in my neighborhood. Where did you grow up? Actually, your car looks a lot like one of those cars in a Scorsese movie where the Stones play Gimme Shelter. They pull up, and yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You see the helicopters going around. So, yeah, my cousin lot like one of those cars in a Scorsese movie where the stones play Gimme Shelter. They pull up and you see the helicopters going around. So, yeah, my cousin would like, you know, I was having trouble with a guy when I was a kid. And my cousin goes, you want to make a call? I'm like, you work for the water company.

Who the fuck are you going to call? Hold on. Russell Brand. I'm just saying we're glad that these people aren't Jewish. Yeah, we're glad. Okay. I think that's an important point to make. There's two issues.

And they're not Italian. It would have been a Shonda. Okay, I think that's an important point to make. There's two issues. And they're not Italian. It would have been a Shonda. Okay, moving on. One issue to me that I find interesting is the fact that... Can you give us a brief overview? Because I'm not quite 100% on everything. I'm not 100% either. You got accused by five women, I believe. If I tried to talk

about something with that disclaimer, you would skewer me. Maybe, maybe. So he's accused by four or five women of... Rape. No, no. I think there's one accusation of rape and four accusations of sexual assault.

Now, sexual assault, if there was no accusation of rape and it was just sexual assault, I would insist on wanting to know more because that word sexual assault is very, very elastic. It can be something horrible, or it could be used like you slapped me on the ass. Not that you should slap somebody on the ass,

but you just want to know what it is we're talking about. But rape is obviously rape, and apparently she went to the police and had a rape kit and told people at the time. It's a pretty convincing story. And the text. And text, I don't know. And some people have come forward since then.

There was a text where Russell said he apologized. She said something like in the text, like, you know, no means no. And he said, I'm sorry. That's a pretty big deal. Yeah, so that's incriminating. I'll say. So, I don't understand why people like Tucker Carlson and other people are jumping on this bandwagon of,

you know, he criticized Big Pharma, so now they're going to ruin him. This disturbs me. Yeah. Well, I didn't know Tucker was saying.

To make money. It's just to make, everything has to come, that's the brand of that show. So everything is a conspiracy and there's a bad guy and that's just the way he makes money. That's what his audience wants to hear. Okay.

A lot of people say, but having said that, and I'll put them both out there, I think it's wrong that YouTube has demonetized him. I kind of agree because it's like, you're innocent until proven guilty. So why? Yes, we have to buck up and accept the fact that as a society, we're going to put faith in these norms, even though we know it's probably not true. And the world's not going to come to a halt because he collects some money from his YouTube show while this is going on, but we don't know. Kevin Spacey was acquitted, right?

Yeah. This is similar to a Kevin Spacey story. This is so performative where we're not going to allow him to get his money. I'm very against that. I, I, even, even if I saw it, but I know he's awaiting trial, I would say, yes, this is the price we pay for living in a free country. It bothers us. Let it go because we have to embrace these ideas. Once he's convicted, they'll put him in jail. They can take him off YouTube, whatever they want. Yeah. Well, but do you believe that, you know, YouTube is entitled to have their own standards? Yes, they are, but they should be more respectful of their effect on society on this because they're normalizing certain behaviors

which then seep down to private employers and things like this is what happened with us with Louis. It's like this is the wrong way to start punishing people is by shaming private employers into what they should become. What would you say in a case like OJ, for our younger listeners who may not even remember it was so long ago, but he was acquitted, okay?

But as a businessman or as, I mean, if YouTube were around then, what would you say if YouTube had demonetized? YouTube has the right not to hire him or, you know, he does the right not to do business with him. Well, what would you say if YouTube as a policy decided, OJ, we're not going to let him on our platform or demonetize him on our platform? I would be against it. They can do what they want. Twitter can do what it wants.

But you would be against that? I think we are moving towards a bad place where there's pressure on companies to do this. First of all, you know, in boardrooms, when these issues come up, my opinion is the only conversation is, okay, how do we handle this?

What can we get away with? They're going to complain. I don't think anybody really gives a shit. Nobody's saying, hi, it's wrong. We cannot allow Russell Bray. It's all for, it's all politics and diplomacy. What's our exposure, hi, it's wrong. We cannot allow Russell Bray. It's all for, it's all politics and diplomacy. What's our exposure? Yeah, what's our exposure?

And then they present it as if it's their moral, they're considered moral. It's a big lie as far as I'm concerned. And I think that you know, like, you're trained, I'm just against it. I think that whatever it is about Elon Musk that has disappointed us, whatever it is that he's doing and is erratic, whatever it is about Elon Musk that has disappointed us,

whatever it is that he's doing and is erratic, whatever it is, he is striking a blow for the idea that, listen, it's a free, I believe in free speech. I'm going to let people say what they want. I'm going to let these people bitch about the ADL, whatever it is. The ADL can scream until it's blue in the face, but I'm going to let people get used to it. It's a free country and get used to it. It's a free country, and get used to it.

And I kind of agree with that. What is a responsibility of someone that distributes information, in your opinion? Does anyone have a societal responsibility? Yeah, I guess. I don't know what it is. But Elon Musk is full of shit, because he closes down accounts of people that are critical of him or who have opinions.

He did something early on. I had to go on threads to follow the jet. Yeah, to follow his jet. Yeah, there was something early on. That's what I'm saying. He may have behaved hypocritically in certain ways. But I'm happy that in general, Twitter is not having private meetings with the FBI or whatever it is and, you know, getting readouts from the government about who they should be watching.

I'm happy that he's striking a blow in general towards the idea that speech should be free. I think he's cashing in on a sentiment. I don't think there's any. No, he's losing a lot of money. Yeah, but I think. Well, now I heard they saying that they're going to charge every user. Yeah. I mean, that's one idea that he's had.

I don't know if it's going to happen. But the reason he wants. I like Twitter, but I don't know if I'm going to pay for it. I don't like Twitter. I do like Twitter. Let's be fair. The only reason I'm on Twitter is to put guests for this show. That is the only reason I ever use Twitter. I got a text.

Yeah. The reason that he said he wants to charge users. Okay, no one has something to say about that. And this reminds me very much of an argument that was taking place in the 90s when nobody knew how to handle spam. And this writer, Christopher Caldwell, he says the only way to do it is you should charge like a penny per email. The idea being that spammers wouldn't pay the penny. Musk is saying he doesn't know how to control the bots.

And he feels that if people have to pay for Twitter, even a nominal amount, this would make expensive for the bots and arduous for the bots because they have to get a different credit card. It's a math problem. It's a math problem. If I can get X amount of influence for this account, it's just a math problem. Yeah, but you have to have a credit card for each bot. It's a lot. It would probably cut it way down. But in the end, I think that it seems to me my gut is that it sounds good, but it's not going to

happen because users don't want to pay. So I don't think it'll happen. It's very hard to get someone to pay for something once they've got it for free. Also, you know, I don't like giving people my credit card. If I was able to buy a la carte articles, I'd probably buy a lot of them. But every time

I want to read an article, it says, you've got to subscribe. And then you can cancel at any time, but I don't really feel like canceling. It's harder to get out. It's like marriage. It's harder to get out. It's easy enough getting in. I don't want a subscription. I don't want a lifestyle. I just want to read

this article and move on with my day. For some reason they haven't done that and there's a reason. I just don't know what it is. Because people forget and they keep getting charged

They make more money because not everybody's like me and some people will subscribe and forget to cancel, I guess. No, but that's a really good idea. If I could just pay 99 cents every time. It's a good idea

that nobody's done and I think it's for a reason. That was my idea. I've been saying it on this show for years. I've never heard you say it. It's obvious enough that there must's done and I think it's for a reason. That was my idea. I've been saying it on this show for years. I've never heard you say it. It's obvious enough that there must be a reason no one's doing it. They probably did

the math. They probably did the math. No, but that's crazy. No, there's no good reason. Okay. If I could just pay 99 cents to read every article that you send us that we have to read and Dan's like, I can't read this. It's behind the paywall.

Yeah, sometimes if you use your computer instead of the phone, you can get a few. You can use an incognito browser, or sometimes you can use the cached version, like with the Los Angeles Times. If you find it on Google,

if you press the three dots, it's the cached version. That'll go behind the paywall. What's the cached version? Sometimes Google will take a snapshot of it that they serve up from their own server rather than from the Los Angeles Times server. And they'll store it and they'll

grab it so quickly, they'll grab it before the paywall thing comes on top of it. There's a few different methods for reading this stuff. I usually just copy the headline and I paste it in there and see who else has it. You know what I might do? I might do now that I think of it.

If Musk was like, okay, month to month, you buy for a month and the next month, if you don't do anything, it goes away. They won't. They'll keep charging you until you stop. I know, but I'm saying then I'm not going to stay on the thing. But if they did it month to month, where every month I'd have to I'm saying then I'm not going to stay on the thing. But if they did it month to month

where every month I'd have to re-up, I might do it. For what? For Twitter? The ADL website has a whole thing about how to get around paywalls.

Okay. No, um... He's kidding around. I was going to go. Any other things? Nothing? Anything else? Anything else in the comments?

What did Pee Wee Herman say? Heard any good jokes lately? Anything else you want to talk about? No. But the one thing about the YouTube, what bothers me about it, is somebody can push a button, and you're done.

You can't, you know, somebody on the web, and you can just disappear. That really scares the hell out of me. You can't, you know, somebody on the web and you can just disappear. That really scares the hell out of me. It happened with, when I got thrown in Facebook jail for something that, because the bot,

it wasn't even a person. You can't even talk to a person. So you put something on there and they're like, well, this is considered this. I'm like, I didn't have copyrights for my own joke. I don't know how I got into that.

It's crazy. I had that where somebody, well, it's a long story, but I had the same thing where YouTube took down my version of my own thing because someone else had stolen it and put it up first and claimed it. Claimed it, yeah. But it got 5 million views. They made all the money. They made all the money. They made all the money.

You didn't. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No way. Yeah, yeah. I'm still fighting with Instagram to get verified. They're like, we don't know what you... It's me. You know, I sent the...

Yeah. Dan, what's going on with your special? Oh, I don't know. They're editing it. Can we have a release party when it comes out? I don't know if I'll go, but yeah, go ahead. You're letting them... If I'm in ahead. You're letting them edit it? If I'm in town.

You're letting them edit it? Well, I gave them notes, but they're doing the editing. Have you thought about trying to edit it yourself? No, I haven't thought about that. I haven't thought about that. Why not? I don't know. Why haven't you thought about that?

I'm not an editing kind of guy. But I can give them notes Don't look at me Why I'm looking at you Don't you think that you have Like your eye is going to be I hate watching myself Okay that's a shitty fucking reason

Well shitty it might be But here we are Now I want to tell you guys something Last week on this show we had had Rui Tejera. Rui Tejera. Tejera. And my son, Manny, was so upset. He wanted to come on the show.

And he, I'm not going to find it out. He, unbeknownst to me, because we listened, we read a little bit of his article. I was talking to Manny about it on the way in. And Manny wrote a whole introduction of what he was going to say to Roy Tejera when, oh, I don't fucking have it, when he came on the show. I was so proud of him. And it was good.

He read the article. He was crying. He was just crying. How old's Manny? He's 10. He was just crying about... How old's Manny? He's 10. 30. So you must remember, you know, some of the things that he had said. I can find it right here.

I sent it to Juanita. Rui Tejera was just to tell Adam, he was our guest last week, he believes in what he calls common sense politics. He says his thesis is most Americans are fairly logical, rational, not bat shit crazy. And they're all in favor of your average American. Some gun control,

abortion rights to a point. I found it. Things that are sort of in the middle. That's his thesis, that most Americans are wanting common... He seems a little bit further to the right. Oh, my God. I'm sure an issue. I have to cry.

I didn't even read the whole thing. The first thing he says, first things, opening script. Why is it that either party focused so heavily on crazy ideas when they could just agree with things that most people agree with and keep most of these crazy beliefs and just win the campaign. So let's start by asking about percents, and let's see how the conversation goes. That's what Eddie wrote, things like that. But then the last thing, he writes a list of notes,

like this part I didn't see. He says, notes. Be funny. Stay cold, hard facts. Be smart. Start by saying, hi, my name is Manny. This is live from the table, and we are with Noam Dorman, a.k.a. the owner of the Comedy Cellar, a.k.a. my dad,

and special guest, Roy Teixeira. He did all that himself. That's really sweet. That's really good. He's only 10. He's only 10. He's 10. Yeah.

Be funny. Stay cold, fast. Yeah, he's all right. That's great. He's a chipper. The only thing Rui. You should let him drive the Tesla. Yeah, he's all right. That's great. So he's a chicken. The only thing Rui should let him drive the Tesla. Yeah. The only thing Rui was a little right.

I think relatively right wing was with the trans issues. Yeah, just a little bit. Oh, Perry L. Oh, no. Do you remember years ago we were talking about the trans issues and I used to say, all right, all right. But someday somebody is going to come along and say they should be able to compete in sports. Someday the whole Olympic team, like the Russian weightlifters, and you're like, that's never going to happen.

That's ridiculous. No, I don't remember that. Yeah, and as soon as that actually happened, everybody said, well, of course that's right. Of course they should be able to do that. It was ridiculous. He was trying to take books out of libraries about gay dads. No, that's not true.

Okay, gender. What was it? He said that there shouldn't be... What we did, we talked about this testimony where they actually read some of these books and it was porn. That one book? Two books.

And it was... This was more explicit than Penthouse Forum was when I was a kid, and this was in books in the library. What he did say, though, on the air was that we, that he said in a broad way that genderqueer books are not appropriate. Now, I don't know what he meant by genderqueer books.

Well, that's the point. You don't know what he means. Well, I feel like I know what he means. Well, you're going to say you know what you meant, but listen, in my lifetime and today, it's traditionally been the left, not the right, which has been

I don't even want to use the word banning books, trying to filter books in the library because the books traditionally were Huckleberry Finn, To Kill a Mockingbird with the N word in it. Great works of literature. And they're not accused of being book banners.

And then the right comes along, and I don't agree with them either, and they want to take out books that have, like, you know, stuff that would be in movies that as parents we wouldn't let our kid watch. Like, I know Perrielle. She won't let her fucking watch Godzilla. She talks out of both sides of her mouth.

Any movie with some adult content on, she does not want her 10-year-old to see. But for some reason, if somebody wants to take out that exact same type of content from a library, she's like, this is terrible. But the fact is...

I don't believe in banning both. Fine, but the fact is that you're a hypocrite because they're not doing anything differently than what you do in your everyday life. And the argument is that you're a hypocrite because they're not doing anything differently than what you do in your everyday life. And the argument is that we're the parents here. We control what they watch at home. We want certain things we consider to be adult content.

And we don't want them to have that same adult content, let alone pornographic content. I don't think— I want to say one more thing. The fact is that—and I'll say what I want. The fact is that in reality, it doesn't matter because these kids have the internet. If, if parents actually think that if only they could take this book out of the library,

the fucking library in the school that somehow now they have removed the threat of this from their kids. It's so fucking stupid. It makes the whole debate it makes the fact complaining about it stupid and it makes the fact taking it out stupid. It doesn't matter Be that as it may, you're sending a message

if Mein Kampf is in the school library, you know I would assume you would maybe you wouldn't mind actually. I don't mind if Mein Kampf is in the school library. I don't think books should be banned. I, actually. I don't mind if Mein Kampf is in the school library. I don't think books should be banned. I never did. I don't think that children should be exposed to.

I don't like the end of Mein Kampf. It's amazing. I don't think that books should be banned. And I also don't think that children should be reading pornography. It's not banned. Stop using that jargon. Listen, there's X number of feet of shelving in a library. And somebody has to choose which books go on there.

And the shoes they don't put on there are not banned. They're just saying, you know, this is not a worthwhile space. We should have other. Yes, sir. Were the books on the shelf before? Yes, they were. That's banned. No, it's not banned.

Okay, that's taken down. Taken down, yeah. Right, based on a political agenda. You know why? were. That's banned. No, it's not banned. Okay, that's taken down. Taken down, yeah. Right. Based on a political agenda. You know why? Godzilla. That's why. Okay, anyway. You don't even know how fucking sheltering she is of her child. She's a mother.

Yes, but... A Jewish mother. A Jewish mother? Are you kidding? You think Godzilla's bad? A Jewish mother? What she's saying is like, if her son comes over to my house and we show him some movie. Wait, don't be specific. Don't just say some movie. Any movie that you wouldn't like. No.

So say one. Well, I don't know. Well, you do know. Blue Velvet? Do say it. I don't know. Sure. Blue Velvet.

Okay. Blue Velvet. I don't know. Let's say Blue Velvet. I don't know Blue Velvet. Would you let the kids watch Blue Velvet. I don't know. Let's say Blue Velvet. I don't know Blue Velvet. Would you let the kids watch Blue Velvet? I know that I'm much more free with what my kids can watch than you are. You are.

I don't really care. South Park. Would you let Ari watch South Park? Probably. Probably or not? I haven't seen. All right. I let my daughter watch all 26 episodes of South Park.

She's older. All right. But I would have let her at nine. I let Benny watch it. He's six. I her at nine. I don't, I don't, I let Benny watch it. He's six. I don't care. I don't think it matters. But the fact is the logic of that is like, if you wouldn't do it in your home, why would

you think this is, this is the problem. You somehow don't get that. Don't be condescending with the start of the sentence. It's not that I don't get. Go ahead. I'm trying to think of the sentence. It's not that I don't get. Go ahead. I'm trying to think of a joke. You're so stupid. That's better.

Much better. I was trying not to say it, but I will if you don't want me to. No, what you don't seem to get is that the people who make these decisions from this school, these are just bureaucrats.

I don't want the far right wing lunatic taking out books. Right, but that's why you're saying they're far right wing lunatics, but they're making the same decisions on behalf of the parents that you make in your home.

But the decisions that I make in my home are for me to make in my home. But it doesn't make you a far right lunatic. They're in charge of the schools. They have to make decisions. And by the it doesn't make you a far-right lunatic. They're in charge of the schools. They have to make decisions. And by the way, they should make the decisions for as much as they can

that represent what the parents want because they work for us. I don't know. Well, I would just say in Periel's defense, Rui Tejera, he just said that

he was in favor of banning genderqueer books, which seemed to me, and I don't know exactly what he meant by that because we kind of didn't ask him. It seems to me he just wants to ban any book wherein families with two fathers or two mothers are portrayed. I don't know what he meant by genderqueer books, to be honest with you. I don't know what genderqueer is.

Well, let's look it up. Okay, and I don't know. You call Manny. Manny seems to have a grasp on this stuff. My daughter can identify 13 out of 13 LGBTQ plus flags. Really? She cannot identify New Jersey on a map. I kid you not.

That's funny. But she knows all the flags. Adam, have you dipped into in your act, into the trans debate at all? Yeah, what do I have, a joke? I don't want to do the joke. Basically, the joke is, you know, you see people on the, it's the extremes. These trans people are coming to do

sex change operations on our children. I'm like, no, they're not. Do you have any idea how much those operations cost? They don't have the money. You know, I was in the construction business. Trust me, it's a lot more than they tell you it's going to be. Okay. Denoting or relating to a person whose gender identity does not correspond to conventional

binary gender distinction. So I guess trans is genderqueer. Well, binary, read it again. Drag queens would be considered genderqueer. Denoting or relating to a person whose gender identity does not correspond to conventional binary gender, oh, binary, I didn't really care, binary gender distinction.

So like people who are genderless or like non-binary. Non-binary, but also I picked that up as him saying like a nod to the whole drag queens reading books to kids, which was a huge, and is a huge controversy. That's what I thought he was getting at. Why does anybody need... Listen, I have to say this

over and over, because I am on the far... I'm probably the most permissive 1% in terms of caring what my kids see. I don't care if they see drag queens reading to my children. I don't care about any of that stuff. But this ramming it down the throat.

Nobody's ramming anything down anybody's throat. If you want to take your child to a drag queen reading books, go ahead. That's quite different than saying the school should be inviting the men. Well, that's not what I took from Rui's statement. And by the way, did you see that? I just took that he's just, any book that talks about non-binary or trans issues, he doesn't want in the book. There's a delicious thing going on now because there's some town, I think it's in Michigan, probably Dearborn, something like that, where the left has been very pro, properly so,

like very much on the side of things that the Islamic community needed to make them feel comfortable. I don't remember the details. I didn't know I was going to talk about it. But then it happened. A call to prayer and stuff? Whatever it is, because typically they're very inclusive, right? Sure.

And then it came out that during Pride Week, the Islamic community, they were against any gay pride flags on any government. And the leftist community was freaking out. Like, yeah, they don't like that stuff. They don't fucking like that stuff. So you could call them right-wing fanatics. All of a sudden, the of a sudden the left is caught in this like a pincer here because who are we talking about that most doesn't like that stuff?

It's not just right-wing fanatics. It's also immigrants. I think that people who are very religious might not be right-wing fanatics, but they certainly subscribe to that ideology, and I don't like it. These are tough issues. Obviously- I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't think it's fair, and I think that-

I say this to you all the time. This only goes as far as till such time as the school starts feeding your child something that you happen to disagree with. Right. And that's the problem. It's exactly like what's going on in New York City now. All the liberal people have been saying for years, those people in El Paso are racist. How dare they complain about the, quote unquote, brown people coming across their border? And sure, they claim they don't have the resources

to handle all these people. We all know that's bullshit. We know they're a bunch of racists. And then New York gets a small number of migrants, and all of a sudden the mayor is, help us, help us. New York will not continue. They're decimating New York.

And all of a sudden it's not racist anymore, right? Your ox is gored, and all of a sudden you see it racist anymore, right? Your ox is gored and all of a sudden you see it differently. One of the big topics actually we discussed last week is whether this notion that a kid can transition, not biologically

but socially, in other words, go by different pronouns, and that the school's not obligated to tell the parents. And so... Is that probably just... That is a legal thing? Is it not... There's no recourse?

I mean, why didn't you tell me he wants to be called Sally? Is that the school's responsibility? Well, certain school districts have a policy that they're not going to tell the parents. Okay. So... I wish they didn't tell the parents when they caught me smoking. They couldn't wait to get to my fucking father.

So Rui and Noam are both strongly against that. The notion that you would keep that from parents. I missed that. The notion that if your child goes to school and say one of your children wanted to be called, one of your sons wanted to be called she and her

and the school's not obligated to tell you. And certain schools do. They have to tell me. Well, I have a solution, and I thought of it during the week. Go ahead. Here's the solution. Any parent that's worried

that their kid is transitioning in school and not telling him, say to your kid, we accept you unconditionally no matter what, so just know that, and I guarantee that that kid will tell you himself. Nah. Yes, Dan's right.

That's the reason why kids don't want their parents to know. Alright. Okay, can I permission to switch subjects? Is it about cars? I have to go. You can't go.

You're not 630. Usually we stay around a little bit longer. I do want to include Adam. I don't have kids. I know you don't have kids, but I wasn't going to ask you. I have to go. It's 5.30, 6.30. I have to go.

Are you happy with that decision, by the way? What? To not have kids. Am I happy with it? Yeah. At this point in my life, we don't have kids. I'll be honest with you. This shouldn't continue.

I'm going to inflict my neurosis on some child um yeah carrielle did it i i love godzilla i don't want to take that out of my life uh yeah no it's just just the way it worked out for me you know well as you but by the way i feel i'm i i don't think i could I agree with you as far as like, you know, my neuroses shouldn't be passed on. And also, you know, I'm blessed to be in a community where a lot of people don't have kids. So I don't feel like such a freak. Right. Because most of the time when I say to myself, I should have had kids, it's not because I want them. It's because I feel weird not having kids.

You don't have them? Yeah, it's like kind of if you go to church and you're not wearing a suit. I don't want to wear a suit but I don't want to be the only one without a suit I wish I had someone to be a burden on when I age

that would be good someone to take care of me because my union's if you have enough money you know that's true you can hire someone so the reason I

the reason I said Godzilla just so you know I haven't seen it when I was a little boy my friend John Engle lived on lived on 100th street Riverside Drive,

and between 97th and 98th Street or something on Broadway, there were two movie theaters, the Riviera and the Riverside theaters, and they used to show stuff. And they were showing Destroy All Monsters. Remember that movie, Destroy All Monsters? No. It had Godzilla, and it was a famous movie like that.

And we were 10 or 11. And I wanted to go see Destroy All Monsters. And Johnny's mother would not let him go to the movie. It's literally like a claymation Godzilla movie, whatever, stop action Godzilla movie. And at that age, I was just astounded. I just couldn't believe that a mother would be so ridiculous as to not let an 11-year-old see what I regarded as nothing. Right, right, right.

I thought you were going to tell me that to destroy all monsters is racist against monsters. It might be. And it always stayed with me. I was precocious in a certain way. I was outraged and offended. I just couldn't process it. I'm considering letting him watch The Simpsons. You're joking.

No. You don't let him watch The Simpsons? I mean, it's not like he asked and I was like, you're not allowed to. But I always thought that The Simpsons was really kind of... It's a cartoon. Yeah, but it's really edgy for a kid, isn't it? But you wouldn't mind if he goes into the school library and reads porn? No, of course not.

Well, yes, you wouldn't mind. No, because what we've been saying is that we didn't interpret Rui as coming out against porn. We interpreted it as coming out against porn. We interpreted it as coming out against genderqueer books. A genderqueer book could be like I have two dads. Okay, so who gets to decide? I'm not sure. Oh. But not

that. Not the parents, that's for sure. I know one thing, it's not the parents. Now look, I mean, you give parents more credit than I do. There was a time in this country where millions and millions and millions of parents taught their kid that owning people was okay. And, you know, well, I'm just

saying, parents, you know, sometimes parents have to be dragged along. Yeah. I want to go back to Kill All Moms. Was it like Sinbad? Was it the claymation like Sinbad? Yeah, just like a Godzilla or Mothra type of thing. It's a good movie. What about Family Guy?

Can the kids watch that? I don't think it matters what the kids watch. I wasn't allowed to watch Batman when I was a kid, not because I kept putting a cape on and beating my brother up and waiting. I wanted to hit my brother and see pow come out, and it wouldn't happen. So we weren't allowed to watch Batman because of direct behavior from it.

When I was in fourth grade... So you didn't get to see Julie Newmar in Fantasy. Oh, I did. When I was in fourth grade, I have a tall story. My father took me to see Straw Dogs with Dustin Hoffman. Have you seen this movie? This has one of the most graphic rape scenes ever

filmed, even to this day. And I can remember, we saw it on 42nd Street and the lady in the box office was yelling at my father, you can't take him into there. And my father was screaming at her, don't you fucking tell him! Like screaming!

And he took me in. And this was, I mean, it didn't hurt me in any way, but it was horrifying. Okay, I mean, it didn't hurt me in any way, but it was horrifying. Sure. Okay. So to my point, like, did you need to see that as an 11-year-old? Like, do you want to take the kids to go see The Accused?

I think I and Russell Brandt with only two young kids have seen that movie. Seriously. Would you let the kids watch The Accused? What's The Accused? That's when Jodie Foster's gang raped on a pool table. On a pinball machine. It was a pinball machine. No, I wouldn't.

Here's the thing. I wouldn't let them watch it. But do I think it would affect them in any way whatsoever? No, I don't. I don't believe that. I don't believe that if you see a movie. I saw Jaws. Didn't go in the water that whole

summer. Well, maybe kids above a certain IQ. Ha! I don't know. I don't believe it. Even Jaws didn't have any lasting consequences. And if it scares my daughter out of going into bars

with a bunch of guys at a pool table... So much the better. I'll take it. Let me ask you this before we leave. my daughter out of going into bars with a bunch of guys at a pool table. So much the better. I'll take it. Let me ask you this before we leave. Did Kill All Monsters affect you in any way? No, it didn't. Nor did Straw Dogs.

My first reaction, like I said, and I'm repeating myself, when you said Kill All Monsters is that it was like, you know, you should be monsters. They're not all bad. I think that might be a reaction that parents would have today. Some of these parents that would say, well, you know, you can't label, generalize against all monsters. Well, I did see a Star Trek.

I told this couple years ago where Dr. McCoy says to Spock, you green-blooded son of a bitch. And I'm like, green-blooded? That's really like, it struck me. It's like, you can't call him green blooded. That's racist. So you do internalize this idea. They probably wouldn't have allowed that.

Do you remember the All in the Family episode when Sammy Davis Jr. kissed Archie? Did you see that? That was huge. You want some coffee in your eye? You want some coffee in your eye? Okay, we wrapped it up. I just wanted one second

I texted you something And you didn't write me back to it I have your text Notifications muted You know, it's unbelievable Because when he messages me He wants me to reply Like immediately

If not sooner I get it, I get textpectations. I didn't get any texts from you. Yeah, you did. I sent you this. You know, nobody... WhatsApp? No, text. SMS? Hundreds of people who I... Hundreds of people who I... You know what I like? You're sitting

three feet apart. I do not have... Hundreds of people who identify as dogs. Oh, you sent me this a while ago. Gather in city center. Is this for real? I think so. Now, this is anti-trans. How do you figure?

I think that's a real story. Right. Well, but sending it around is anti-trans because... Sending it to you is anti-trans? Well, because what people... The point of this is to make fun of the idea that people can just believe there's something and then be it.

I think that those people were spreading transphobic memes. I think you're laughing, but she is. I shut up. I am not. I think you want us to edit this out. I don't want to get you in trouble. I think that that's a really real thing. Identifying as a dog?

No, that those people really gathered. I think that, and I wanted to know your take on it. I don't think that that was meant to... I think if you identify as a dog, you are a dog. I just look, let these people enjoy, let them gather, let them enjoy each other, but clean up when you leave. I don't want mountains of dog shit. Does that mean they're pissing on everybody?

I don't think identifying as a dog should be compared to identifying as a gender. Nobody's saying that. Yeah, but that's the... A pack of dog-identifying humans has prompted calls for, quote, animal control after footage of their Berlin meetup went viral. An estimated 1,000 people who prefer to be recognized as not humans but canines organized a gathering at the Berlin Railroad Station in Germany, communicating only by howling or barking at one another.

All right. Well, look, as long as they're on a leash. Now, does that mean they can sniff each other? Do they suspend the rules of sexual harassment to use dog-level? This is a very good point. This isn't a joke. No, but I'm actually quite serious. If you identify as a dog, you're still...

Well, there was that hullabaloo with Rachel Dolezal years ago who identified as an African-American. That's right. And... Ixnay on... On Paris and K's. Anyway. All right.

No, but obviously if you identify as a dog, that means that you should be able to take on dogs and you're with other people who identify as dogs. You would assume they would behave as dogs. Otherwise, what does it mean to identify as a dog? So you'd think they would have loose sexual mores. But you also might get put down if you go a little too far. Mm-hmm.

Anyway. Oh, I got a chase fraud notification. Okay. That was me. From Ariel. Somebody who identifies as Noam Dorman. All right. Can I go?

Yes. You identified. Where are you going? I have a friend meeting me downstairs. Okay. So Adam Ferrara is going to be in Reno. Yes. I'll be at the Reno, the Auto Museum, September 29th and 30th. I got a bunch of me downstairs. Okay, so Adam Ferrara is going to be in Reno. Yes, I'll be at the Reno Auto Museum September 29th and 30th. I've got a bunch of dates up on my website.

I think that's the biggest little city in America. Greatest little city in America. Reno, Nevada. The Nevada. My wife has a generosity of spirit that I do not possess, man. Now, she talks to people. No fear, no agenda, just greeting a fellow human being. It's beautiful, and she's gonna get us killed.

We're at a hotel, we're in the elevator, these strangers come in, she's like, hi, how was your day? I'm like, what the hell are you doing? Don't talk to these people. All right, look, if this goes bad, I'll take the two on the left, but you gotta bring down the big girl. if this goes bad, I'll take the two on the left,

but you gotta bring down the big girl. Sweep the leg, she'll go down. Oh yeah, I'm suspicious. Yeah, I am. I'm a grown man, I sleep with a baseball bat by my bed. It's not a full-size bat, it's one that's like, they used to have bat there, Yankee Stadium. Yeah, they used to give you a little bat. I still got mine.

They don't do it anymore. I guess they figured, maybe it's not a good idea to arm the people in the Bronx. I don't know. The police were getting phone calls, Mr. Steinbrenner, they're hitting each other with stuff that you gave them. How about a big foamy finger?, they're hitting each other with stuff that you gave them.

How about a big foamy finger? They can't hurt each other with that. Podcast at ComedySally.com for comments, questions, and suggestions. And we'll see you next time. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.