The Comedy Cellar: Live from the Table - Colin Quinn

Episode Date: October 2, 2020

Colin Quinn (Saturday Night Live, Tough Crowd, Comedy Central, HBO) discusses the state of America and his new book, Overstated: A Coast-to-Coast Roast of the 50 States. 

You're listening to The Comedy Cellar, live from the table, on the podcast of New York's world-famous comedy seller coming at you on SiriusXM Raw Dog 99 and on the Ridecast Podcast Network. Dan Natterman here with Noam Dorman, owner of the world-famous comedy seller and Perry Alashian, brand and producer. And tonight we have with us one of the one of the common fellow regulars

huh well you're more than just a regular you're a legend you're part of the history of the club the very fabric

the very the walls of the club impregnated with your with your with your wisdom and genius Colin Quinn is with us and he you know him the you know him with your wisdom and genius.

Colin Quinn is with us. And he, you know him from Saturday Night Live. You know him from his numerous one-man shows and Irish Wake, among others. And he has a new book out called Overstated. It's a coast-to-coast roast of the 50 states. Please welcome Colin Quinn to our show. The title of my book was by Phil Hanley.

Was it really? Yeah. Really? At the cellar table, he said it to me. All about overstated. I was like, oh, Phil, it takes a Canadian to, to name a American book. I know that I've seen you Colin since before the, uh, the pandemic. So I don't think I have, maybe I have. No, you haven't.

Were you at Rachel's birthday party last night, by the way? I wasn't there, but it's not there. Okay. Rachel Feinstein had a birthday and, didn't go, but I thought maybe Colin. Anyway, no, do you want to start off with the book or with the debate last night, which everybody's talking about? The book, Colin's book. The book, we'll get to the debate later. Okay, well overstated, a coast-to-coast roast so let's uh let's hear a little bit more about it oh jesus i don't know i mean you know i mean it's basically each state i go through you know as you know as traveling comedians i've been to 47 of the 50 states i'm sure you have a similar record and so i just said let me write a book where I just, you know, basically go through all the states as we get ready for this breakup of a country.

You want to kind of go do a meditation on what each state's personality is, what they meant, what they were, how they got around and how they are now. So that was basically it, you know. I assume it was based because I saw your last one man show, where in at the end of the show, you did a quick rundown of the 50 states. I assume this is that idea, but in greater detail. Yes, exactly. Those were one-liners.

This is like a chapter in each one. Colin wrote this book. I don't know. He started this show writing about two, three years ago already, right? And you had this dumb idea that the country was coming apart, like there was some real dissension and some tension. And events have not worn it out, Colin. Things are harmonious as ever.

What were you thinking? I mean, it really is going to break up. I mean, I can't imagine unless something catastrophic happens or just like a supernatural event there's no because no one's really global pandemic oh i thought that was gonna i thought that would have an effect it shows how bad it is right i know yeah i guess my i guess i mean like meteors you know a meteor attack. Because an outside attack is the only way you could unify, I guess. Like an Independence Day in the movie with Will Smith. Yeah, but there was nobody left.

Colonies, the divisions that we have are not necessarily as clean as they were back in 1861, where some states were slave states, some states were. That's right. Now there's division between within a state, within a household. Well, within, you know, I mean, it brings to mind, not to keep being cheerful, it brings to mind Bosnia, when it was sort of the rural against the cities, you know, in the 90s. And for that matter, Rwanda, when it was, you know,

it was Hutu and Tutsi, but it was also the Tutsis were more, the Hutus were more rural and the Tutsis were more village, city type people. So, so Colin, in all seriousness, how would you see? Did you think I was joking when I brought up Rwanda and Bosnia no I'm asking like you hear a lot of people thinking about how like in all seriousness the country could really come apart

and I'm wondering like how what would that actually look like like would we actually fight or what would happen yeah I mean right now it's a war of the phone you know but i mean uh i can't i can imagine it being like a place you may be familiar with a little place i like to call

the west bank ah you know where people live together but these things happen i don't think that no i don't think we have the stomach for, for some reason in 1861, war seemed more palatable to people. I guess they were used to dying young. But now we're a little bit too pampered. I don't think that anyone's going to be willing to go to war to save the Union. I would imagine if a serious secession movement came about, we'd, at this point, we'd just say, okay, goodbye and good luck. No, but what I was saying is, what if it's not a secession? What if it just breaks out into, I mean, like the West Bank, you know what I'm saying? Where people are living, fighting, there's different groups fighting, you know, I mean, West Bank's a good example, actually,

because you got, you know, Hamas and Fatah, and you got the Palestinian, you know, the Palestinian Authority, and then you've got two different groups in Israel. You know what I mean? So it's like constant fights, but not really anything that ever gets settled or gets declared, you know? Do you actually think it would happen?

I don't know. But, you know, look Look I wasn't really answering like I was on the spot And I had to come up with what it would look like So I just threw that out there And I thought Noam is going to bite into this And I won't have to say another word the rest of the show No

Because I think you I think I've heard There are people out there who really think it could happen That we could really have I really think it could happen, that we could really have. I really think we could, yes. But I'm just saying, I didn't say West Bank. I said West Bank, which was basically like putting the carrot on the stick. Right.

I figured I'd just sit back for the next hour like this. You don't know post-pandemic norm. I'm chill now. I don't go for those things anymore. The West Bank? Nothing. Means now. I don't go for those things anymore. It was back. Nothing means nothing. I feel nothing. So I don't actually think we're going to go to war with each other,

but I think it can become just horrible, like just a dysfunctional, like a bad marriage before people actually did get divorced. Like just horrible. Just fucking horrible. Isn't it already like that? Yeah. It can get worse.

I say that in the book. I say it's a bad marriage, you know, where people keep, and what do you do in a bad marriage? You go, oh, they'll change. And nobody ever changes. Oh, they'll, we got married too changes. Oh, we got married too young. And now we're fighting over money. It's a bad marriage. Take one of the big, big issues of discord, I guess, would be abortion, right?

So I read that most Americans actually are kind of on the same page with abortion. They believe it should be, you know, available, but not necessarily unrestricted. Say it's legal and rare, right? But, you know, to what extent are the divisions real? And to what extent are they amplified by the loudmouths on Twitter? And to what extent, like gun control is another big issue. And yet I've also read that most Americans are willing to compromise on that. Right. Well, I don't think it's, when you say loud mouths on Twitter, that's the American, that's us. That's the American people. So yes, there's extremists on both sides that are, but those extremists seem to lead for whatever combination of reason. They're not, they're not

going to not lead these debates. They're not going to not set the tone unless we decide to, you know, do something about it. All the people, the extreme middle, as it's called, you know what I mean? So, I mean, until something changes, those are the people that set the agenda in society. Very, very, very bad time. And you also talked a lot about i forget how you intertwine them but in the show you talked a lot about uh political correctness and and the uh being

imposed on comedy um how do you how do you see that relationship well i mean you know in the book i talk about like massachusetts how the Puritans, the social justice warriors are direct descendants of the Puritans that came over. I connect everything to our genetic and our personality. that you see today came about in Puritan days and became social justice warriors from Puritans to fundamentalist Christians to social justice warriors, you know? And all these people that you're describing, they take a certain glee in all this, right? They're actually just bullies really in the end. Yeah, I think so. I think it's people, yeah, I think it's people that become what they hate, you know what I mean? Things always start out with well intentions,

but they always end up, let's say, that's why Animal Farm, people do it in 1984, but Animal Farm is very underrated too. I remember that. Well, that was the one where you really, you know, they start out, I guess that's the French Revolution. I think it's the communist Bolshevik Revolution.

I thought the other one, yeah, I guess they both were both, right? But anyway, the same pattern forms. All I know is with Animal Farm is, had I not read the Monarch Notes, I would have just thought it was a book about animals on a farm. They gave it to us to read in eighth grade as if we were really supposed

to make that connection. Maybe not in 10th grade, whatever it was. We're much too young to realize what the hell they were talking about. But the Monarch Notes cleared everything up for us. But Dan, if a guy like you is reading Monarch Notes, then what hope is there for our society? See, here's the problem. A guy like Dan should never have read Monarch Notes. If this was, if you were born 50 years earlier, you would have grown up a walk up in the Bronx and then probably off Fordham Road somewhere, city college, but you would have been studying on the train.

You didn't care that all the greases were making fun of you. That would be, you wouldn't even think of Monarch Notes. I don't think Monarch Notes even existed back then. You would have been a scholar on O.L. Right now you'd be schooling us on the nuances of O.L. O.L. books that we'd never read. You overrate Dan. But it's funny because you say that, Dan, because I, in high school,

we were signed some Hemingway, like Sun Also Rises. And I got the modern. This is totally uninteresting to me and then i read it um much more recently like five years ago i read the sun also rises and the great gatsby and then i realized they had no business giving this to a high school kid everything there is adult and by the way it's also written at a time where they don't even spell it out so you actually have to be adult and live through it to see what they're even talking about. References to erections and sex. And it was just a boring story in high school.

No, you're right. And you're making Dan's point. Dan's saying the same thing that they give us these books when we're too young to really understand what's happening, you know? And yeah. Sun also rises. It's like a bullfighter. The guy's a bullfighter and and then he's having an affair, and one of them beats up the other. I still can't remember, but at the time, it was like a bullfighter. Is this like a made-up profession?

I didn't know what that was. And, by the way, so just the other thing about the Social Justice Warriors, so it's related. I keep calling her Elizabeth Barrett Browning. It's Amy Coney Barrett, right? The new Supreme Court Justice. um so it's related i keep calling her elizabeth barrett browning it's amy amy coney barrett right the new the new supreme court justice right well let's call her elizabeth browning um so she she's adopted two young haitian she has two young um uh haitian uh children that she adopted um i guess they were victims of the the earthquake there or something like that. And like Ibram Kendi, you know, the guy wrote that had to be an anti-racist and various other people on the left are attacking her for having adopted these black children.

They're full of hate. And it's like you really begin to wonder. I could actually, I'm sure, give you an excerpt from Richard Spencer, the white supremacist i give you an excerpt from ibram kendi and if i just didn't mention the colors you wouldn't know who was who the logic is exactly the same well that's what they always say about the extremists always end up on the same yeah exactly yeah i mean i mean it's just what's going to become of that in america where and and we all except for Perry, we all grew up. You know, people will say, oh, you just think that way because it's when you grew up. But it's true. We grew up at the time when the when the goal was to make race as irrelevant as it could possibly be. Right now, the goal. Well, to make it so that it was not that it's irrelevant, but that there's no strict protocol that you had to follow if you decided to be a human being with who lived in a world with other races.

Well, I think, I mean, I don't want to quibble over the word, but I think it's relevant. I heard Sam Harris say, like, you know, who can tell you how many blondes there are in the military? He says, nobody, because nobody thinks that matters. And we hope that that's what, at some day we wouldn't care. Who cares how many blacks there are? Who cares how many whites there are in the NBA? Nobody notices that stuff. No, it's true.

Yeah. And now the goal is exactly the opposite. And if that's the goal We're going to be at each other's throats I mean that's just the way it is Well I hate to Go back to the beginning of this But what do they call it?

Balkanization Bosnia And the hootsies And the tootsies And the hooters and the tootsies It's not like Jerry Lewis and the tootsies. And the whoot-toos and the tootsies. Whoot-toos and the tootsies. It's not like Jerry Lewis. Whoot-toot-tootsie.

Go ahead, Pariel. You're right. Pariel is a social justice warrior, by the way. So nice to have her here. I mean. It's a relatively benign one and not overwhelmingly sanctimonious. I guess. Thank you. I just wanted to hear what other than the thing about the kids with Amy

Coney Barrett, who, I mean, I don't know about these children, but other than that, I think that she's a complete nightmare. Of course. Well, there, there is a piece in the guardian. than that, I think that she's a complete nightmare. Of course she is. Well, there is a piece in The Guardian. I don't think there should be a confirming of justice right now, don't get me wrong, but that's not to say that

she's some sort of horrible person. Well, I mean, I'll throw this out there, which I pulled for this conversation. Barrett, a federal, this is from The Guardian, so let's start there. A federal appeals judge has declined to publicly discuss her decades long affiliation with people of praise,

a Christian group that opposes abortion, and this is the best part, holds that men are divinely ordained as head of the family. Ooh. Well, somebody ought to tell her husband that because she seems to be the breadwinner. The great leaders teach that wives must submit to the will of their husbands. Oh, come on.

I don't believe any of that stuff. Why not? Why don't you believe that? Because look at the woman. Stop saying it. Because she's a federal appeals court judge and she becomes Supreme Court justice. Does that sound like a homemaker?

You can still be living in a nightmare personal situation. Peggy Noonan wrote a long column about- She's like Tina Turner. She's like the Tina Turner of the judicial system. Peggy Noonan wrote a column about this people of praise thing, the Wall Street Journal this weekend. And she, she just debunked most of it. It's all a bunch of malarkey. I mean, they're, they're religious Christians. They're, they have a right, but.

No, no. And those, I know a lot of those Christian types. They do say that the man is the head of the household. They say that. Yeah. And, um. And they're anti-gay and they're anti-gay marriage. Yeah. And, you know, they would... I assume my definition.

It's true, but I think it's also a mark of what you just said at the left, which is, I don't know about these children. You do know about these children. He just told you. So let's not pretend that he... She isn't being... wait let me just say i'm ruinous that on the left what they do a lot of times is when they get their extremists who are just as bad as the right extremists saying things like attacking somebody for having haitian children they go i don't know about that story of course you know about it he just told it to you. There's no condemnation. Wait, wait. No condemnation on the left when these kinds

of things happen. And I feel like guys like us would be more reasonable to go, oh, you're on the right. They're psychos. Okay. So I only said, I don't know about these children because I haven't read about that part, but I can say the only thing I can say about the children is that it's very unfortunate that she's probably indoctrinating them to hate gay people. But is it less for... But better

they're indoctrinated than... In a home. At least they have a home. Yes. To be indoctrinated to. But that was a good one. I'm skeptical that they're being indoctrinated to hate gay people. They might be perhaps indoctrinated to. But that was a good one. I'm skeptical that they're being indoctrinated to hate gay people. They might be perhaps indoctrinated to feel that marriage should be between a man and a woman. I don't think they're being indoctrinated to hate gay people. You know what they say in Haiti?

Not Adam and Eve. Yeah, Adam and Eve. Not Adam and Eve. Y-V-E-S. I'll read you a little excerpt here from the Wall Street Journal since Perry Ellsup got her panties in a bunch or whatever that expression is. Whoa! Joanna Clark, a local leader of People of Praise in Portland

and the head of the Trinity Academy of People of Praise School also appears to be failing at submissiveness. I consider myself a strong, well-educated, happy, intelligent, free, independent woman, she laughs. She has a doctorate from Georgetown. Trinity's culture is distinctly Christian, but purposely ecumenical. The emphasis is on reading, writing, and Socratic inquiry. Our three pillars are the humanities, modern math,

science, and the arts, music and drama. Do they teach evolution? They do. We are normal people. There's women who are nurses, doctors, teachers, scientists, stay-at- They do. We are normal people. There's women who are nurses, doctors, teachers, scientists, stay-at-home moms. We are in the Christian community because we take our faith seriously. We are not weird or mysterious, she laughs, and we are not controlled by men. Okay, can I counter that? No, let's move on.

No, can we get to the debate? I mean, that's a pretty big... Let me just say this and then I'll be done. Quote, People of Praise was formed in 1971 by Kevin Ranagan and Paul DeCelis. Both men were involved in the Catholic charismatic renewal in which Pentecostal religious experience, such as baptism in the Holy Spirit, speaking in tongues and prophecy are practice. Okay, you know what? You might as well take Jesse Jackson up on the same bullshit because do you know what goes on in the black Baptist churches? Come on now. You always have-

Come on now. Only white people are gonna get called out for this stuff. This is religion. And by the way, that's very close to the argument about how like the Republic, you know, the Democrats were the party of slavery and Jim Crow. I mean, who knows what happened?

I don't know what, I mean, I don't know what 1971 founding had to do with it, but there's no evidence that this woman is anything other than a genius and has been liberals who've worked with her writing columns in the Washington Post has been liberals who work with her

writing columns in the Washington Post saying, I totally disagree with her on stuff, but she's more than qualified to be a justice. I mean, it's enough already. I mean, again, I don't think they should be performing a justice now, but go ahead, Colin, go ahead. No, no, but I mean, either way.

Oh yeah. I don't like the fact that nobody even looked at my book. You guys haven't even glanced at my goddamn book. I don't have a copy of it. I'm about to put it in my pocket. Check your chat. I sent you something in the chat. Oh, yeah.

Can I want it now? I don't have a copy. She downloaded me. I don't have a copy of the book. How do I get a copy? That's true. I'll get have a copy of the book. How do I get a copy? That's true. I'll get you a copy. I'm curious.

I don't really know. I'm asking for a freebie. Is it available on Amazon now? My people should have gotten you a copy. Are there any states where you felt like, I'm going to have to fudge this because this state really doesn't have that much of an identity and I'm really going to have to just,

I'll come up with something, but it ain't going to be easy. New York. Actually, New York is the hardest one because I've done so much on New York that not repeating it was almost impossible. So I had to think of what I thought of New York in another way. Okay. So here we are. This is the the very nice Who did the cover art? I don't know who did it But it was my concept It's pretty good Hey, phone

Although I didn't come up with the waterfall I just said on the boat with the phone So I shouldn't say the waterfall Yeah, they did a good job I know it's the 50 states But D.C. might soon be a state I included D.C. it might you know yeah they did a good job if you include i know it's a 50 states but dc might soon be a state i don't know if you included dc and i think you guys will appreciate what i thought i can't remember the exact wording which is funnier than i'm gonna say i'm ruining my book

right now because i can't remember but dc i talk about how people can't, like our country understood you needed a place for backroom deals. That's why it wasn't a state. You needed to go talk to all the crazy people in your state and go, I'm going to take care of it. You don't want to know what happens. I'll get you jobs. I'll get you what you want. But it's going to cost you too. And then go in.

And when they were drinking and smoking, they would do backroom deals. And now nothing gets done because when you can't have a little bit of corruption, that's how it goes sometimes. That's amazing. I really do agree with you. And it's funny because maybe this is the way to get into the debate. I've been having some conversations lately and you see it better than ever now after the debate. We really were better off when the candidates were chosen in a smoke-filled room. Well, that's exactly what DC's, mostly the nation, that's, I think I title it the nation's smoke-filled room. Exactly. I agree. That's amazing. You know? I mean, things, I mean, can you believe what we saw last night in terms of

this is the two best people in America? I was, I was pleasantly surprised that it wasn't worse. I, I, I, I mean, I, I was thinking, first of all, Trump didn't, I mean, he was very insulting with the, to Biden, but I, at least he didn't call him sleepy Joe. It was, it was, it was embarrassing. I expected anything different though. Nick would have been kinder. It was what. I agree. It was the best thing ever. You expected anything different, though? Nick DiPaolo would have been kinder. It was, what's that? Nick DiPaolo would have showed more forbearance than...

Yeah, it was really, it's embarrassing. Nick DiPaolo would also probably be a better president. Well, so wait, wait. By the way, just before we do that, just let me just try just show you guys something that was in my daughter's Zoom class. Tell me what you think about this. This is what I pay my taxes for.

This is what she's learning. Can you read that? Fairness or equity does not always mean equal. Fairness means treating people according to their needs. Oh boy. That line sounds familiar. Also known as from each according to need, to each according to their ability.

This is what they're not recording, Pariel. I'm sure they get a copy of the manifesto on their desk before they do the editorials. Wait, I have a question. Does the one on the left, the little guy, are there two eye holes through that fence for him? We'll assume there aren't for the sake of- It's three people on the left.

They seem like African American people. Right. They're standing on boxes and the littlest kid is not tall enough. The box is not tall enough. So the dad, assume it's the dad, give the other kid the boxes so now they can all see over, which is fine. Of course, that's very simple.

Now, what happens if there's not enough foxes to go around? That's when it gets interesting. Why do you decide? They're wearing yarmulkes also. No. But, I mean, I have no problem with that graphic in terms of, you know, being nice. But I do wonder wonder what are they doing like what is it what does this have to do with reading writing arithmetic I mean why do they

think it's okay to be teaching my kids communist adjacent it's it's not communist adjacent that was right ahead of the manifesto that might be the most that's lazy communism. They don't even bother with something original. They have to go to the most hacky line in all of communism. And what does it mean, fairness means treating people according to their needs? Are they saying that fairness means that you have to

give somebody a spot at a college because they need it? What do you think it means? It's blatantly there. It's marked. I mean, they couldn't make it clearer for you. If you can't see over the fence, you're supposed to get an

extra fucking box. Or do they mean that if you don't have the intellectual skills to make the same amount of money as somebody that's smarter, then you should get extra money. Look, let's be honest.

We all have sympathy for the idea of fairness and equity. And we all also realize that these are very, very tough questions as you try to implement them in various real life scenarios. Some of them are quite easy, like the dad doesn't care because he can see anyway, right? That's the example. And these are fourth graders. And instead of, they're just not ready for this. At this age, it's brainwashing. In the 10th grade, they can teach him these concepts and challenge them in various scenarios to work it out and understand the complexity of it. But at this age, they're just literally teaching them stuff that they can repeat. A catechism. Is that what they call it in the church, Colin?

Yes, catechism. I don't know if I entirely agree with that, but I do have a question. Colin, what, is there a state that like most surprised you in a pleasant way that maybe you, you had some like assumptions about or? No, I mean, but, but the surprising facts was like, when I was looking at a little bit of a Little Rock, Arkansas, for example, and the famous, you know, the famous Little Rock, the kids in the school. And Paul McCartney wrote Blackbird, the song Blackbird. Of course. He was inspired by the Little Rock case. When I realized all these years, Charles Manson was right. The White Album, that song was on the White Album.

The White Album was about a race thing. We owe Charles Manson an apology as a country. I think that's a way to get into the debate. Go ahead. What do you want to say about the debate? I was going to say the way you were going to say it. You better have a lot to say about it, Dan, the way you've been chomping at the bit on this goddamn thing.

Well, the big story, the big issue, in fact, I got a friend of mine from college that I will not reveal the name of, sent me a text saying that your boy, he called Trump my boy, because once or twice I defended something he said, not because I voted for him or planned to in the future. He said, your boy said, told the Proud Boys to stand by. Are you proud of that?

Proud to support that? So I felt that was a bit rattling, to be honest with you. I was very, that rattled me. The fact that I was accused, basically accused of having Nazi sympathies. Yeah. And being told that my boy, that Trump is my boy

and that I'm proud of myself for supporting his support of neo-Nazism. Yeah. When all I've done is here and there, occasionally defended a particular thing he said or position that he's taken I've told you to delete Ted Alexandro's contact but you don't listen to me you know Ted is not that punishing well I was I was about to say I mean it sounds like this person

just is kind of an asshole maybe you should take your number out of your phone this person just is kind of an asshole. Maybe you should take their number out of your phone. This person is a dear friend and an old friend. And I just feel that it almost doesn't make sense. Like there's something weird going on with him. And, you know, it seems to me that he's, something odd is happening with him because this is not the person that I've known all these years.

But, you know. So, Dan, let's read the transcript. Now, as I'm reading the transcript, I realize that it went by so fast that this transcript is not accurate. But I'll correct it from memory. It says, Chris Wallace, you have repeated, says you have repeatedly criticized the vice president for not specifically calling out Antifa and other left-wing extremist groups but are you willing tonight to condemn white supremacists and militia group and to say that they need to stand down now stand down as i'm pointing out that word because i think that's where he tried to repeat it and not add to the violence in numbers of these cities we saw in kenosha as we've seen in portland now again and to, I don't know that Kenosha was white supremacist or Portland.

I don't know if white supremacist in Portland. But anyway, President Trump, sure, I'm willing to do that. So then that wasn't enough for Chris Wallace. He could have left it at that. Are you prepared specifically to do it? And then Trump says, I would say almost everything I'm seeing is from the left wing, not from the right wing. Talking about Portland, you know, that's not a ridiculous thing that Trump said. Chris Wallace says, but what are you saying? He says, I'm willing to do anything. I want to see

peace. Chris Wallace says, well, do it, sir. And then Biden says, say it, do it. And Trump says, what do you want me to call him? Give me a name. Give me a name. Go ahead. Who do you want me to condemn? And then this is not in the transcript I'm reading but then biden says proud boys biden says proud boys and and chris wallace at the same time says white supremacist is the right-wing militia and then trump says proud boys stand back and stand by but i'll tell you what somebody's got to do something about antifa and the left because this is not a right-wing problem this is left-wing so what i saw when I watched it, and I didn't realize it would be as significant as it was,

is that they're like badgering him. And Biden said, proud boys. Okay, proud boys, stop. Stand back and stand by. It's not, it doesn't seem to me, although it's true if you read it, it sounds like he's saying, wait for my orders. Stand by. The issue is the word to phrase stand by.

But it didn't seem to me at all like that's what he meant. But here's the problem. Here's the problem. But now he should correct it today. He needs to correct it today. No, his problem is this. He didn't correct it today. He said the same thing today.

Oh, really? Yeah. I take it back then. He said, I never heard of the Proud Boys. Okay. Right? I mean, never heard of the fucking Proud Boys. But here's the thing. He didn't have to be badgered

if he had just said, I denounce white supremacy. Instead, he's like... He did. No, no. You're right. He didn't. His problem is he has no class. He doesn't have any class And that was the problem in the debate last night

He's a low class guy You've said the same thing He has no class He has no generi He doesn't have a debate He doesn't give it He's one of those It's disgusting

I'm going to tell you why I... Go ahead, you finish, Colin. I'm sorry. Forget about Republican or Democrat. You see it. He's an apocalyptic guy. He doesn't care about Republican, Democrat. He only cares about destroying everything. That's his

goal. He loves... He's the guy that loves to sit back and watch it fucking burn. And last night was a little bit of that. Yeah. Doesn't give a fuck. If he really gave a shit, even if he was lying, he would have said, I renounce those

white supremacists. He doesn't care if this whole country kills each other. Okay, let me try to, I don't want to defend him because he should, I mean, what's so hard? But he- How hard is it to say I denounce white supremacists? Well, okay, because this is what, if I channeled Trump, he would say the following.

First of all, I've done that before. Here's the quote, you've heard me. He said in Charlottesville, I'm not talking about the white supremacists, I condemn them unconditionally. He's said it before. Second of all, Chris Wallace is talking about Portland, which is a bunch of left-wing crazy, and you're putting white drugs on me. Number three, it's distasteful to have to denounce something because you've overlaid it on me,

and I've done it already, and I'm Donald Trump and I, and I fight back. That's, that's exactly it. That's fine. But part of being a president, a big part is trying to calm people down. Yes. And if you have to get, if you have to answer something, if you have to make a statement

you've made a few times before, that's a big deal. Just do it. So let me say. You're not supposed to be like ah fuck you it's like yeah yeah that's great for an individual but when you're how holding a delicate country is about to explode could you just suck it up and just say let me sec let me separate the two issues because on the question of whether he's acting presidentially there is no daylight between us obviously he's not handling this right Obviously he's throwing fuel on the fire.

What I'm inquiring into is whether or not this is proof that Trump was a white supremacist or whether, or Trump was actually just a guy who says, fuck you to whatever you want him to do. Just briefly, would you say that standby was a, he misspoke when he said standby? Well, I mean, if you're telling me today he had the chance to take it back, then, you know, even though in my heart I do, I mean, it just sounded like he just came out with it without a moment's thought.

If he refuses to take it back, I'm not going to put my head on the guillotine and says, I mean, exactly like he meant it, right? But I just want to remind you, Saddam Hussein didn't have weapons of mass destruction. No, you're right. But every time they ask Trump about any of this stuff, they go, so anytime you hear him about any white surprise, he goes, eh. I don't know what's the matter with this guy.

Didn't he also say something about like not conceding even if he loses like he encouraged his supporters it really does bother me however that at a time when we're seeing constant violence in these cities including in New York we we had scary nights.

Absolutely. That we're dredging up something that happened serious, something serious that happened at Trump, but white supremacy and, and, and whether, whether something really should be right now, the fucking left wing violence.

Absolutely. But guess what? Here's why he's such an idiot. Because if he just said, I denounce white supremacy unequivocally and completely, and by the way, most of it's happening on the left, but he can't even do that. And I'm telling you why.

Because subconsciously or even, this guy lives to see explosions. He's one of those people. There's people like that. And sometimes they get into a position of power. He doesn't care about left, right, Republican, Democrat, economy. He doesn't care about any like that. And sometimes they get into a position of power. He doesn't care about left, right, Republican, Democrat, economy. He doesn't care about any of that.

He lives to watch shit burn down. Some people are like that, and he's one of them. Yeah, I agree with you. And also, he was his own worst enemy in the debate because there was so many, he was interrupting so much that he didn't, there were fastballs over the plate. He didn't even swing it. Absolutely. Biden says, I'm not going to answer whether I want to pack the court because that would become the issue. Oh, really? Because, well,

you're running for president. I think, you know, like. Absolutely. Anything you say, you're not going to answer a question because you don't want to make it an issue. Oh, he says, um, what was the other thing that he said that was so, oh, he's blaming Trump for the economy. Right.

Well, Joe, I thought you were in favor of stricter lockdowns. Do you know a way to lock the country down further and not affect the economy? Maybe you should come work on our administration. We need the help. Like, what the fuck? And it was many things like this. That's what a thoughtful person would say. But like I said, I honestly believe he's driven by a different set of, you know, compulsions than you would think a person in that position would.

I have an idea about it, though. And this also goes to his thing about the mail-in ballots and all that stuff. I think that he operates from a rule of thumb. And in his past life, this is not a stupid rule of thumb, which is to keep maximum pressure on the other side in every way that you can. Not that you know what's going to happen, but you know that if they're under pressure long enough, something will give, something will break. Their cracks, their weaknesses will expose. You will fuck them up.

So he is keeping maximum pressure in every way that he can on the left on the democrats he doesn't know what's going to give what opportunity is going to create for him but he knows for a lifetime that it does create opportunities but i'm also but the problem is it's not a patriotic way for a president to behave because we're the victims of all it's fine in business it's fine in business because you just fine in business. Because you just said it perfectly. He doesn't know what opportunity is going to create for him. Right. Because that's all this is.

He's, I'm telling you, he's driven. He's not even driven by success in business. Do you think it's really the best way to inform the public of the candidates' positions? Maybe they should just each get an hour of TV time where they answer questions and, you questions and separate. Of course. I mean, this isn't to really inform the public. I mean, this shit

is just like a joke-off fest. I don't agree. First of all, we did learn something about Trump before. We kind of knew it. What did we learn? We learned how horrible he was. Did we not know that? Not, well, well. I mean, I know a lot of people who are super clear on that before last night.

Yes, yes. Those people that you're referring to knew all this. Always. Those, first of all, those people at The Guardian hate Joe Biden and Kamala Harris, too. There's nobody left enough for them. No, I mean, I don't, I look, I don't know. Kamala Harris is a cop. It's like, oh, imagine having a law enforcement person in society. That's a terrible idea. No, it sounds to me like you were driven even further into the Biden camp last night.

I mean, you've said that if you had to vote, you'd vote Biden, but you didn't say with enthusiasm. Are you slightly more enthusiastic about that choice after last night? Well, I've told you this before. There are two timelines out there, and I don't know which is the right less risky road to travel the one timeline is a guy who is a loose cannon and and um uh can't can't separate his impulses from his own even his own self-interest let alone the country's self-interest and um if he's president he could do a lot of damage, but on a lot of issues, including the issues that matter most to me,

which is protecting me and my business and fighting the woke and all that, he's aligned with me. I can't lie about it, and I'm not even against controlling the border, to tell you the truth. On the other hand, you have a guy like Biden, who clearly is a more decent guy and is going to have less tempestuous and impulsive. But he may usher in a filibuster-less,

left-wing smorgasbord, you know, feast. And that scares the shit out of me. So I don't know. Right. It's six and one half dozen to the other to me. Well, that's a conflict and I understand 100% what you're saying. But you're not believing what I believe,

which is that Trump is on a mission and there's nothing to do with anything we're talking about. It has nothing to do with politics. what I believe, which is that Trump is on a mission and it has nothing to do with anything we're talking about. It has nothing to do with politics, it has nothing to do with business, it has nothing to do with even his own family. It's a mission.

Carl Jung should moderate the debate to get to the bottom of this. And Israel, by the way, I'm concerned about Israel. So what I'm saying is that I would support Biden because it seems to be the less risky, by far, choice. But I don't say it with any assurance that after four years of Biden, I won't say, fuck, this is even worse.

Right. Because Trump has an expiration date. And this, but this wokeness, left-wing, ultra-progressiveness, this can go on for 30 years. It's disgraceful. It's disgusting. I know what you're saying. I know the conflict.

And I think a lot of people are going through it. What do you think, Noam, of Trump's... I know one thing, Dan. I got to say one thing. I know that when businesses were being burned down in this city, the decent, smart people, like at the New York Times, were tweeting out things like, ah, private property can be replaced. That's right.

To vote for that mentality is really fucking difficult for me. That's a good point. Really difficult for me. The good news is, Noam, is you're going to do what you do every election and not vote. Yeah.

Private property can be replaced. I mean, what an outrageous thing to say. every election and not vote. Yeah. Private property can be replaced. I mean, what an outrageous thing to say. Disgusting, yes. Yeah. And by the way, they found some dead store owners at the bottom of some of these stores. But never mind, just so people at home know. If my business were to burn down, you'd probably take five years with all the permits to get it rebuilt. Maybe with the insurance money paying 80%.

In that five years, I would have no income. Once it is rebuilt, to reconstitute a business five years later after someone else has become the center, after someone else becomes the comedy seller, after Colin Quinn is hanging out at the fucking stand every night. Five years, I'll be dead. I'll be a comedy cellar boca i mean and and and the stress of it is comedy cellar boca yeah and the stress of it all and i mean you're talking about not to mention you are you know not that anybody's terribly sympathetic to it but you are uh causing you

are stealing basically from the insurance company in a sense i mean you know to the extent that anybody cares about the insurance company oh yes yes you I mean, you know, to the extent that anybody cares about the insurance company. Oh, yes, yes. You know. So, what is your voting plan? I don't vote. Yeah. I was really giving you an opportunity. I never vote. You have to

vote this year. It's like the most important election of your life. Well, I mean, I'm going to give you a civics lesson on electoral college. It's actually not. It actually doesn't matter at all. No, no. It's not true. And you said in example. You had to vote in Wyoming.

But, you know, it's it's, I don't know. You know, I can't explain why you should vote because you're right. It's not going to probably not going to matter. That's not true. Yeah, and I feel in my heart you should vote. And you're being, you're right, it's not gonna, probably not gonna matter. That's not true. Yet I feel in my heart you should vote and you're being, you're taking the easy way. I don't like what it does to my head psychologically. It forces me to root and defend and become part of the team. I don't like it.

You don't have to do that. And you're all, you also set an example for people who look up to you and admire you and God help them. But- You stop doing a good vote. Yeah, I vote. And it ain't easy. who look up to you and admire you and God help them, but... You stop. Colin, you vote. Yeah, I vote. And it ain't easy. It's not easy.

Because every time I'm like, this is... I'm just committing suicide. Yeah, it's not... You don't have to have fun doing it, but it's a really... You don't have to enjoy it. And you could be wrong and regret it the rest of your life. It's still the right thing to do. I've gone into the voting booth, not knowing who I'm going to vote for as I'm walking into the booth.

You know, that, that was the case with the first time with Obama because I felt that, I mean, at that time I was upset with Obama and the Reverend Wright, you know, and that, that whole thing. Yeah. But I voted for him anyway, but, but I really was walking to that booth thinking, God damn, America. I mean, even if you're-

I'm happy you brought the Reverend Wright because it's such a beautiful example. So Obama, his mentor, his mentor who dedicated his book to, who married him and Michelle, was this Reverend Wright, who was hateful of America, hateful of Israel, had all these,

said all these outrageous things about white people. And because it was Obama, nobody, nobody, you know, I shouldn't say nobody cared, but he got away with it, got a pass. He said he fell asleep. Yeah, he didn't know. He didn't know every, he didn't go every, he went to church every Sunday, but never noticed the guy's feeling. But Amy Coney Barrett, she belongs to some sect that in 1970, somebody, the leader said this. Amy Cohen back, who's an example to all women.

If only all women would behave like this. Listen to me. I don't care if you go into that voting booth and you write in Colin Quinn's name. It's better than not doing it. Seriously. But Perrielle, why do you have to say me like I'm the dumbest example? I don't care if you go in that voting booth and you write in Colin Quinn's name. You could have said Heath Robinson.

No. Good job, Perrielle. I would vote for you in a heartbeat, Colin. I would feel so good about voting for you. I would much rather vote for Quinn than any of the two that we have. And I think he's probably- If I thought he could win, but I just don't see it.

I don't think I have a chance. I think that if we could probably raise a pretty good campaign for you. I think you'd be surprised. I'd like to run for dog catcher. You know, they were saying they couldn't win as dog catcher. Is there a third party candidate? Joe Jorgensen.

Is that her name? A libertarian candidate? Libertarian. Joe Jorgensen? Is that her name? Yeah, I think so. Hang on. I don't know if I'm pronouncing it correctly, but spelled J.O. Jorgensen.

It sounds like a trans person. And she's 63, which is young, I guess, compared to the rest of the field. Yeah, Jo Jorgensen. Plus, that's Scandinavian blood. They stay awake for a long time. If she's Danish extraction. Let's do it. Danish American.

There you go. I would vote for Libertarian. I'd such a waste of time. Look at how far he's come. This is a major, major thing. Who's come? Oh, no? I don't want to vote.

You know what? You're just going to get me to lie and tell you I did. Why don't you guys forget we have four weeks? A lot can happen in four weeks. The world could explode. We don't know what's going to happen. Well, I called today to get my... I assume you're voting for...

I mean, you don't have to reveal, but I assume you're voting for Joe Biden. Me? Yes. Yeah, I mean, I hate to... I feel exactly the same as Noam about all the shit the left is up to I hate it

But I can't Even last time I saw Trump's name and I was like I couldn't I just couldn't do it He's just He's too He's on a

Like I said, he's just on his mission It's too much And even if he wasn't on that mission Even if I was wrong Which I don't think I am And that he's not on his mission. It's too much. And even if he wasn't on that mission, even if I was wrong, which I don't think I am, and that he's not on a death-devouring psychology, he's so dumb, I just can't take it. Even though what Noam's saying is 100% right. All his wokeness is evil.

But there's just something about him I can't, in principle, vote for. You know what I mean? They should have gone with somebody else. I mean, even if they were talking about Ibram Kendi. Ibram Kendi is, I mean, he's a hero. Are we off the debate now? It's about Trump. Ibram Kendi is a hero

to the liberals. He's the main advisor for various racial sensitivity. And then he comes out talking about how white people shouldn't be adopting black babies and it's colonialism. And nobody's asking him to disassociate themselves from Ibram Kendi or what's clearly racist talk.

And he's embraced in the in the the highest levels the hoi poy of of the democratic elite party right and trump is supposed to answer for some nazi loser in his mom's basement who comes out once a year with a dumb t-shirt you know absolutely but that's part of a president you still have to do it suck it up and up and do it. Yeah, but I'm saying, yes, he should do it. But what enrages me is that they don't ever turn that sanctimonious eye towards themselves. You're 100% right. But that's still, sometimes you just got to do it. And the fact that he doesn't do it tells you something pretty deep.

Yeah. It's not that he's a racist. It's that he's looking to, he's not that he's a racist. It's that he's looking to, he's a, he wants the card. He's like the young Delman Lewis. That's him. What did you think of him when he said to Biden, he

said that Biden graduated in the bottom of his class and don't use the word smart around me. That's fine. I don't mind that kind of stuff. And it's true, by the way. Well, if it's true, it's even funnier. Biden lied about everything. He was a terrible student.

Or about him going after Hunter. That's all true, too. Yeah, that stuff doesn't bother me. It bothers me. What's that? It bothers me. That he goes after Hunter? No, the Hunter thing bothers me. Oh, yeah, I'm saying it doesn't bother me that he goes after Hunter? No, the Hunter thing bothers me. Oh, yeah, I'm saying it doesn't bother me that he goes after Hunter.

Yeah. I mean, think of it this way. The Hunter thing is pretty simple. If you presume that all deals are – if all deals are presumed to be an even exchange, right, two people make a deal, you presume they feel like they're getting an equal. What did Burisma think was their even exchange they were getting from Hunter Biden when they paid him millions of dollars? It could only be influenced with the vice president. Absolutely.

So that's corrupt on its face. And then when Biden went, now that doesn't mean Biden was going to deliver on it or Hunter could even, he might've fooled them. But then when Biden goes and plays golf with these guys, Biden is kind of giving his tacit approval to the arrangement. And even if it just means that he knows that his son put millions of dollars in his pocket

by kind of selling his father's name, even though he had no intention to ever do anything about it, that's disgusting. Yeah, but his son's like, dad, you don't have to do anything. Just play golf with disgusting. Yeah, but his son's like, Dad, you don't have to do anything. Just play golf with them. Just hear them out. That's exactly right.

If you don't like it, walk away after the game. I mean, I would never do that. I mean, you know me. I won't even take fucking free tickets. I know. Because I don't want to owe anybody anything. I know. Look, the double standards is complete. I get it. Because I don't want to owe anybody anything. I know. Look, the double standards is complete. I get it.

Yeah. But I'm saying there's still something very, very sick and chilling about that, about this impulse of this guy, you know? Absolutely. No, he's a loose cannon. I mean. It's more than a loose cannon. There's something else. I mean, I was thinking, I'm sure many people were,

as I was watching him last night, I'm like, this guy can go home tonight and, and blow up the world. I mean, exactly. And if he really understood himself, he'd go,

that's the only thing that's going to make me happy. That's who he is. That's who he is. I feel like, you know, now having said all that it would not surprise me at all that after the election when he loses if he loses that he will actually concede and walk away no way he's going to incite a riot the likes of which let me tell you why it's because what i said before because he sees everything in terms of leverage for what he wants to get out of it. Once the deal, as it were, is done or failed, at that point, you walk away and move on to other things. And he postures so much. Don't be surprised if in the end, he says, when he realizes it's

done, he might take it to court, but once he realizes it's done i couldn't believe and not only that i think the half life on trump as a cause is very short i don't think anybody's gonna forget about him very quickly i hope you're right i do not think that's true but i really hope you're right my well my brother says it best about it because he's living every he's the hero of all narcissists personalities because everybody's talking about him all the time it doesn't matter if they're insulting or attacking him being nice to him praising him all we talk about ever is drum drum drawn it's a narcissist greatest achievement ever literally a hundred percent everybody's talking about all day and all night all over over the world. That's what every

narcissist wants. Of course. He's complete personality disorder, megalomaniac, narcissist personality disorder. I agree with all of them. By the way, I think I misused the word hoi polloi.

I was about to say something But the momentum was such That I couldn't get a word in But yeah, hoy poloy is lower class Yeah, I hear Well, it's just the common folk But I hear It is commonly misused

And I think I picked it up From someone I think because it sounds like Hoyty toyty Yes And so you confuse the two Much like Trump confused Stand down and stand by arguably

whoa hey full circle well it's a callback it's common technique what else i sent you something in the chat oh my god and the other controversial notion is that he's you know uh as we just discussed that just discussed, that he's telling people to go to the polls and monitor the situation. And then people are, you know, it sounds threatening to people. Listen, there was an article, I'm going to read you something in a second, but this is Colin Quinn for president. You really sprung for the graphic artist on that one. Hey, that looks good.

I like the color combination. Let me just talk about something. I'm going to read you guys something because it's really worth reading before we go. Go ahead, Dan or Colin. Say something for a second. Go ahead. I was just bringing up that, you know,

the idea of Trump telling people that we need people at the polls to monitor everything. Right, right, right. That's a little bit intimidating and a little bit provocative. Do you think, I mean, do you think voting by mail is like a total farce? Okay, so that's what's happening. So before, you know,'s everybody's giving trouble hard time

about the mail-in voting however this is an article you can see the url here this is 2012 this is um before you know anybody had a stake in it and the new york times and the headline was error and fraud at issue as absentee voting arises. And then look at this paragraph here. It says, in the last presidential election, 35.5 million voters requested absentee ballots, but only 27.9 million absentee ballots were counted. According to a study by La Laga to the end, it says, and that election officials rejected 800,000 ballots.

That suggests an overall failure rate of as much as 21%. So back before there was any partisan side of these arguments, the New York Times was writing that there was an issue and that it could be as much as 21% of the ballots were at issue. And that's before it tripled in numbers or quadrupled. And that was also before Trump and the extreme motivation that people have to try to play games.

So there is absolutely nothing ridiculous on his face about what Trump is saying, that this mail-in ballots is a very, very dangerous path for us to go on. As a matter of fact, you would think if he was good at what he's supposed to do, he would have had that New York Times article as a debate. He said, listen, this is what the New York Times said. When it didn't matter, when they didn't have a cause or a stake in it.

He's not that smart. And that's why he doesn't, every time you say Trump should have said this or should have done this, the answer is the same. He's just not that good. Well, somebody should have told him to say something like that. Yeah. So I think the mail-in ballots is very risky. Hopefully Biden will win by such a wide margin that it'll account for that as well.

Even if he's right that the ballots are risky, is he right to say, to imply, insinuate that he's not going to go quietly? No, he's not right to do it. I told you why he does it. He does it because he knows from experience that if he keeps the opposition in a frenzy of pressure, that it will likely lead to some opportunity for him. They'll fuck up. They'll say something. They'll do something.

They'll find some ballots. Otherwise, he feels like he's not actually fighting for him. They will, they'll fuck up. They'll say something, they'll do something. They'll find some ballots. Otherwise he feels like he's not actually fighting for himself. He's just leaving it to the wind and that's not his style. Isn't this a psychotic, this is like psychotic behavior though. I mean, could you imagine? He psychotic behaviored himself all the way to the presidency. So you try to tell him that it's psychotic behavior to himself all the way to the presidency. So you try to tell him that it's psychotic behavior. I sound like my father now. Like, you know, my father, when people say something, he says, really? Look around you.

And you try to tell me I'm wrong. Like, you know, it's like, you're going to tell me that. Huh? It's terrifying. Yeah, I mean, but I mean, yes, there's something psychotic about him but on the face of it it's it's hard to call him as stupid as you'd like to when he did become president I mean I don't know that it has anything to do with stupid I mean there have been lots of horrendous people in

huge positions I guess he maybe he's he's you know he, he has genius in certain areas. Now, I say it's because he's the left. Their stupidity got him elected. Yes, absolutely. The fact that they kept basically dismissing and ridiculing all the red state people got Trump elected. The thing is, Perry, you're absolutely right we blur stuff even i do it um sometimes which is one issue is psychotic is when he's doing stuff which in my mind is counter to his own interests so for instance the day after he made a a decent convention speech uh in 2016, he came and got nominated.

The first thing he did was talk about Ted Cruz's father killing Kennedy. And you say, well, this is, like, that's psychotic because there's no theory that I can come up with where he thought this is what he needed to do for his own benefit. So very psychotic. The other element is when he does stuff

which seems that you have extreme disapproval of. You call that psychotic, but I'm not sure psychotic is the word that you mean. You just mean you're really offended by it. But the fact is, it's not psychotic if it's in his own interest and we'll get him elected. Then it's calculated and smart. You just hate it. No, it's in his own interest in the sense that people will be talking about him that day.

It's a narcissist personality. It's not psychotic. It has nothing to do with the election. It has everything to do with people focused on him all day, every day. As long as everybody in the world is saying Trump all day, he can rest peacefully. That's like a heroin addict saying it's psychotic if they do something crazy. They're going to get heroin. You're like, why would he take a chance like that?

He must be self-destructive. No, he wants his heroin. And that's his heroin. Well, our friend Harry Enten thinks it's very unlikely that Trump is going to win. Yeah, I think so too. Well, your friend Perry O. Ashenbrand thinks that he has a very good chance of winning. I think he's given most of the nation a twitch and I think people have had it.

My gut tells me that he has a good chance of winning, but I haven't looked at the numbers. Harry has crunched the numbers. Harry's a numbers crunch. I got to call Harry and tell him, sorry, I got to go with Perry L on this one, Harry. It just seems to me when i'm hearing very reasonable intelligent people like colin and noam saying you know what i'll yeah i'll vote biden but

i'm when you guys are wavering and you guys are thoughtful intelligent people imagine i'm just thinking all these other people that might not have the moral qualms about voting but you know that i'll tell you what's wrong with that i'm not gonna let colin say what he think i think that colin and i um well this is the way i see it people want to pretend that when they vote for one guy they have to assume that everything about the other guy is horrible, but that's not the truth. The truth is you're playing averages. You're like a baseball coach. Yeah, this guy hits for power better. They've got a better average. This guy is faster. This guy seems to, in this particular scenario, statistically shows a little bit. So you're choosing the one that you think will actually be better, but it doesn't mean that you think the guy you didn't put in there sucks or

couldn't possibly, in retrospect, be the guy who would be better to win the game. You don't know. You're just like, this guy chokes. I mean, there's a million different situations. And I don't like Trump for very personal reasons, but I lean more towards his take on most issues, especially on the left. I don't like Biden, but I feel more comfortable with him and his finger on the button. And I feel more comfortable with him caring about the temperature and the overall well, the psychological well-being of the entire nation. That's really it. Colin? I don't know. Well, I'm going to tell you a story and it's not a popular one, but it my take it was a young man a painter in vienna let's say the late 20s i'm just kidding

all right no but that that is how you just like you don't you don't know right i mean listen if you if you took COVID out, if COVID hadn't happened, right, and we were coming to the end of the Trump term, you would have to say that virtually nobody who was predicting the worst turned out to be correct. They were all wrong.

He didn't get us into a war. He didn't take over. He didn't become a dictator. The economy didn't crash. Paul Krugman was wrong about a permit. All the detractors, he didn't crash paul krugman was wrong about a permit like all the detractors he didn't he didn't fuck against the supreme court even when they voted on his travel ban he didn't blah blah blah he didn't he didn't end obamacare like all of it he didn't end gay marriage you

could go through the whole list of everything we heard was going to happen none of it happened so to a smart person you say you know what why am I going to listen to those people again this time? What have they gotten right? Oh yeah, and by the way, he was a Russian spy. And oh yeah, the FBI had no abuses. Oh yeah, Adam Schiff wasn't lying and Nunez was full of shit. I mean, what did they tell us that turned out to be true?

You're absolutely right. And has there been any consequence whatsoever to these people after four years of getting it wrong No None But you're 100% right The only thing I'll say is from day one My stomach feels funny

Since he's been president And that's a weird thing Yeah, me too There's a discount rate on everybody Who says things And the discount rate on the anti-Trump stuff is pretty high. You know, he's whatever. But we'll all be happy to be rid of him.

That's for sure. I just hope the left doesn't move in and take over because they are terrorists and they survive. They're going to try, but we'll see what happens. They succeed on a what's the word? Asymmetrical tactics where they demand something

and then if you don't want to give them their demands, they threaten to call you a racist or a bigot or a thing. You compromise with them. You negotiate with terrorists and they get something and then they get more and they get more. But maybe the answer is to vote Republican in the Senate and the House to balance out

what you perceive as a guy in the White House that's beholden to the left. That's a good idea. And we definitely need a Republican mayor in New York. My God. Well, I don't think de Blasio is really holding it together. I mean, even I can concede that point. I mean, we've had 20 years,

we had 20 years of Republican mayors and New York was doing pretty good. Yep. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, compared to other states. I mean, I don't, I don't, whatever. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Compared to other states. I mean, I don't, whatever. It's better than it is now in any event. Yeah.

And Koch was almost a Republican. Koch would have to be a Republican by today's standards. Yes, he would. What? Colin, where can everybody find your book? Well. It was sold. Except for the guy outside the family,

like Pussycat with the table thank you Perry Hill that's perfect nice Dan we should give him some copies that guy because I'll bet he'll sell them no I don't want anything to do with him

I talked to him once and ever since then we just scowled at each other I want to do this publicly for the entire world to see. This is overstated. Of course, I'm buying now with one click. And of course, I'm going to buy it on the company card. You know, I'm not an idiot,

but I've just bought my copy of Colin Quinn's book. Did you do the audio book, Colin? Yeah. Yes, he did. That's awesome. All you do the audio book, Colin? Yes, he did. That's awesome. All right. That was fun. Thanks, guys.

And we'll see you next time. Yes. Bye, Colin. Let the three of us stay on for a second. Bye, Colin. Bye, Colin. We have a little wrap-up

where we talk about the guests. Okay. So what else, guys? I'm going to get Colin Quinn for... Sorry, Dan. We don't usually do this, no. No, no, I just wondered

what you guys want to... If you guys have anything else to say about anything. About Colin? No, because I felt like Colin had to go, but you guys weren't done. I want...

Would you guys be excited if I got us Colin Quinn for president sweatshirts to wear on the night of the election? Yeah. I could use a good quality sweatshirt. What would you put on it?

I'd rather have a Natterman for president. You could put on Peri Alpha president, as long as it's good cut. And it's comfortable. I'm surprised you weren't more upset about the debate. I was really bothered by Trump. Me or Dan? Dan. Dan is tortuous.

I was upset, but I also came in expecting worse. I expect him, you know, I was ready for Trump to really get even nastier than he did get. And to say, call him Sleepy Joe and to make fun of his stuttering. Like, whenever Joe started stutteringuttering i expected trump to go maybe i was that was the worst debate i mean not it was the worst debate i've ever seen in my life and it was not even close to there's no second place i mean it's not even like there's not even one horrible debate and that was it I'm glad it disturbed you that much I really am

But again I came in expecting worse So I wasn't And I had the same reaction to Trump in general I expected The last four years I thought would be The truth is as you said all the doomsday predictions Generally didn't come true Except for a horrible pandemic

Which nobody predicted Well that's some people predicted it. Well, they predicted that one day there'd be a pandemic and we'd be ill-prepared, but it wasn't associated. I think we're right. Well, I'm going to show you guys something before we go. I don't know if anybody's still listening, but this is, I mean, this is the reality here,

which is that, let me just bring this up here. So this is the right. Yeah, so this is, let me share the screen. And this is why, you know, the case against Trump, why not crazy is a little bit, the lilies gilded a little bit. So this is as of today, new confirmed cases, Europe versus the United States. The red line is the United States. The blue line is the European Union. You see that? So the absence of Trump, this is the absence of Trump line. It didn't turn out to be quite as important as the New York Times might have led us to believe. And by the way, the absence of Cuomo might have put this red line a little bit lower. Now, having said that, I did not control.

I didn't do it. These are raw numbers. I'm going to do it in a second per million. But the reason I'm doing it by raw numbers is because the press routinely compared the United States to Europe using our raw numbers, comparing us all around using raw numbers. So I think it's only fair to just reverse it. They always should have done it per million. But even per million, which I'm just switching to now, you can see that Europe is clear. This is the trajectory of Europe. It's up, up, up, up here. And the United States has been hovering in this area for, let me lower it here, you can see, for a couple months already.

Wait, am I an idiot? Or does the United States? like significantly worse than Europe? The United States was significantly worse than Europe. Like on day 140, you can see my mouse. On day 140, that's when people were writing stuff like Europe has this licked and we're idiots and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But by day 220, it's pretty clear that the trajectory here is that Europe looks like they're going to be overtaking. Europe already has overtaken us in raw numbers. If you take out Germany, for instance, and the Germans seem to be like preternaturally good at being disciplined and wearing their mask.

If you take out Germany, I believe Europe would show a much higher number than the United States per million people. And the question is, is what would Hillary or Joe have done that would have made that curve? I mean, hopefully they would have gotten us to wear masks earlier. Maybe they would have been better. I'm not saying that, I mean, obviously Trump made mistakes, but Cuomo made, I mean, Cuomo made serious mistakes by not shutting down New York two weeks earlier. That was tens of thousands of deaths. But anyway, all I'm saying is that it's all a matter of putting your perspective. Yes, Trump made mistakes. Yes, Cuomo made mistakes.

But Europe is supposed to be so wonderful. And look what's happening in Europe, which implies a certain inevitability to some of this. Now, for instance, we don't know what it's going to be. As you said, Europe could overtake us. We don't know what the next few months have in store.

So the story is not told yet. I mean, it's- Right, but they have overtaken us in raw numbers, which was the way it was reported quite often. Now, having said that, we add to it that somebody I know looked up all the zip codes of all the communities that have been spiking in New York and in New Jersey. And they're all, I'm sorry to say this,

they're all where Hasidic and Orthodox Jewish communities are centered, which is interesting. That is such a fucking nightmare. Right. So that's, you know, part of that culture. But what's interesting to me is that they're not the only culture where the virus spreads. And, you know, nobody's saying the virus is anti-Semitic, right? We hear all the virus is racist, the virus is big.

Wait a second. Do you remember when I got called an anti-Semite for saying that? Yeah. What I'm saying is that poor communities with high density with a particular laxness of following the rules. For instance, there was that article of Flushing and

Corona Queens and Flushing is like all Asian and have like 100% mask wearing and it was almost like zero COVID there. What you're saying is that culture matters. Yeah, and right next door you can look at it right next door is Corona Queens, which is largely Hispanic, and they weren't wearing masks

so much and had a much, much higher rate of COVID. So people would take that high rate and say, oh, the virus is bigoted. But the truth is that the Jews are capable of the same sloppy adherence to protocols and they're worse than anybody.

You can't talk about it out loud, right? You got called an anti-Semite. I got called an anti-Semite. It was horrible. I don't know. Were you called an anti-Semite or were you told that you were saying things that had shades of anti-Semitism, were you called an anti-Semite? Or were you told that you were saying things that had shades of anti-Semitism?

I got called an anti-Semite. What you said was a little, bugged me a little bit too. I don't think you're an anti-Semite, but the way you put it. I said exactly what you just said. No, the difference is, I'm just stating the facts

because I think that we shouldn't be afraid to state the facts. And very often, just stating the facts because I think that we shouldn't be afraid to state the facts and very often just stating the facts of what is real will get you in hot water. You were expressing a kind of distaste for them. No, no, no, no, no, no. I was expressing a distaste for the fact that they refused to social distance and refused to wear masks and were getting together in large groups. That's what I expressed. But if I were to show you a picture of a minority area, Indian, black,

or whatever, virtually any other minority group under the sun with exactly the same thing, you would never say such things. Oh, shit, of course I would. Oh, come on. You would never express that kind of distaste. You would talk about how they're underprivileged, how it's our fault. I mean, you would say-

No, bullshit. And by the way, and you'd be right about some of those things. Don't get me wrong. Some of that stuff would absolutely be true. Back in April, when I was frantically scouring around with bunches of other people getting masks to doctors in hospitals that didn't have masks, you could have showed me a picture of anyone under the sun who was not following those protocols, and I would have been enraged.

And I continue to feel that way. You would have condemned them individually, but would you have condemned them as a group? I think Noam is correct. You would not have. No, please. And listen, those are my people, those Jews, and it bothers me. I know that it's true. I know that they – and by the way, it's also not, it's not biblically

required. They absolutely do not have to go to shul or they do not have to take any risks when faced with disease. So it's not the religion which is requiring them to do it. I'm still sharing the screen. I'm sorry. It's that gathering is so deep within their lives. They just can't bear to be without it. And, you know, I, I get that. You know what, Noam? We are all suffering and we all miss our lives and we all miss our friends and we all miss our rituals. I've been, you know, virtually seeing no one for seven months.

I would also like to go to parties with my friends and go get together. I'm not doing any of that shit. And it's fucking irresponsible and it's selfish and it's really shitty because it's because of whoever's doing that. I don't want to say people like them. What I mean like them is people who are not following those protocols, that we're all still in this situation. And as a Jew, maybe I do take it even more personally because it makes us look terrible. Ah, you're worried about what the Goyimyim think of course that that that explains a lot of your opinions on things listen i've explained i say i said that explains most of your opinions

on israel on on judaism and all of it it's a you're worried about what the outside world thinks think yeah i think i really believe that but let me just say wait i want to i want to i want to go back to what you said about being selfish so there is a selfishness to people who could get this and pass it on to outsiders but but that's not the whole story because you also have to understand that they are taking risks with their own lives they're taking risks with their family's lives. And so there is, if you want to understand it, there was something psychological going on here, which is the pull of this life that they lead, this routine ritual life, which is they're human.

Social things are very, very, very important to humans. And they are ready to, it's like, you know what, if it means living for a year without our Jewish life, as we know it, we don't want to do it. We'd rather take the risk. That's not, you can portray that in an ugly way, but there's a poignancy to that. It's not you can you can portray that in an ugly way but there's a poignancy to that it's not an evil thing they're not saying they're not saying let's get this we don't give a shit as a matter of fact we're immune to it but we're going to pass it off pass it on the on the italians it's like yes this is dangerous for us some of our own have died you know what the problem is with that logic is that then they're going into the hospitals and putting the doctors and the nurses at risk and everybody else.

So that poignancy is lovely. And like, I'm not even saying that snidely. Like, I think you're right. There is something really profound about that. But we also have, there's a responsibility. And like, I just think that it's really like, that's what it comes down to. It's very, very simple.

All right, Perry. Well, I want to see you, you know, do some online research because there are other communities that have stories like this, you know. And, you know, the New York Times did a whole thing about which communities are wearing masks and which ones are not. And then next week, you can, and, you know, the New York Times did a whole thing about which communities are wearing masks and which ones are not. And then next week, you can tell us the other communities that you feel are selfish and

irresponsible. And then we'll see how that goes. Well, right now, in the Orthodox communities, there's an 11% rate of COVID. No. Okay. No, no. There's 11. Maybe the testing is 11%. That's not the same thing as 11% of the people having it. There's an 11% infection rate in some of the Orthodox communities. Can you put that up on the screen right now? I could try to find it.

I think that what you're saying is that the testing rate is 10%. That's the number of people who get tested. That's usually people who for whatever reason think they might have it. But anyway,

I mean, I'm not happy with them. CNN, New York sees startling uptick in COVID-19 cases in Orthodox Jewish community. CNN, NBC, New York sees coronavirus clusters pop up in Orthodox Jewish communities. I mean-

Yeah, I know that. I brought that up. The question is, where's the 10% of the community having it? One second. Jesus Christ. Me, Jesus Christ? Yeah, because you changed the whole time. I'm not.

You looked it up and started reading out loud something as if I had not been the guy who brought it up to begin with. Fine. One second. Dan? This is a good time to say again that Periel's husband is a saint. For the love of God.

Have you met Periel's husband? I've never met him. Have I met him? I don't think I have. We families are very close now. Okay, whatever. We'll find it. Well, I'll tell you what. I know some folks, I'm not going to mention names, that find

Perrielle rather alluring. Just from what I hear, you know. Well, thank you, Dan. I know some young ladies who feel the same way. Thank goodness that's neither me nor her husband. From the New York Times, from the radical left-wing New York Times, officials this week released statistics

showing that the positivity rate in some Orthodox Jewish neighborhoods had grown to anywhere from 3% to 6%, significantly more than the city's overall rate of between one and 2%. So I was wrong, but I was more right. But also the positivity rate doesn't mean the positivity rate is, is how, what percentage of people who take the test come out positive. That is not the same as saying that three to 6% of the general public has it.

People are self-selecting who take tests. They're not doing a random sample. They should, but they're not testing a random sample of the population. You know what I'm really sick of? Every time I make a statement like that, and then you make me look it up i'm always wrong by like a significant margin well keep you on your toes maybe maybe it'll be more precise in the future the best the best part about what you just said is that you actually read these articles and i have no idea what they say i arrogantly say that's just not right it's just based on my own inference uh of the world around

me and you actually this is i did the same thing last week or two weeks ago when perry i was saying that social media has caused a huge increase in suicide among teenagers and i and i without knowing i just figured what perry l is saying and it sounds extreme so i'm just going to say no way and and um when I looked it up, indeed, the jury is still very much out on, there is more suicides, but the jury is still very much out on whether or not that's because of social media.

Did you watch that? Did you watch The Social Dilemma? I haven't done yet. Okay, so I really want you guys to watch that. This is the thing. Peril says something, and unless she knows it exactly you know within 10 within two decimal places the exact fact correct you have to assume there's an over under

and i'm going to tell you that you you know you never lose taking the under okay you just never lose taking the under imperial you can you can win money all day long just by betting the under on anything perry else says dan have you been doing outdoor shows um uh no but i have one scheduled actually i put in for friday i don't know if they're going to give it to me but friday uh it right now predicting rain so it may not happen but um yes so i may be in the park on Friday, assuming that I get it. I get the spot that I put in for and assuming it's not raining. I'll be in Central Park on Friday.

What time and where? It'll be Sheeps Meadow at 6 p.m., I think. But that's, you know, again, I don't know. OK, well, people might want to know. You know, follow Stand Up New York on Instagram and you'll get all their outdoor. They're doing a lot of outdoor shows and people really seem to like them. And normally I wouldn't plug another club except that Noam has no interest in

pursuing outdoor shows. So fuck it. What does that have to do with my interest in seeing you promote them? I don't want to know about it. No, I'm just saying you're not competing. You're not even trying to compete with them. Should I? I don't know. Well, I don't know. If it's too late anyway, because with the weather and the early sunset, they're going to stop doing it soon anyway, I don't know If it's too late anyway Because with the weather And the early sunset They're going to stop doing it soon anyway

I think I don't know how much longer You can do outdoor shows As the temperature starts to drop Maybe through October you could I don't think it's an option You can drive in shows I don't know if you can do it

By the way Just remind me One thing Trump didn't say yesterday Listen, Trump was saying Some stuff about the virus By the way, just remind me, you know, one thing Trump didn't say yesterday. Listen, Trump was saying some stuff about the virus, which I think a lot of people in the middle, you know, between the 60% and the middle of the 220% wonder about, which is he was saying, listen, people want to get back to their lives in some way. They know what's safe now. They know how to take take care of themselves they know how to decide things for themselves and they kind of want their lives back i think a lot of us feel that way we're not sure how we feel about it and what i thought trump should have said because it is is it's worth reminding everybody this was presented to us as

bending the curve does Does everybody remember that? What's that? Yes, I remember. Yeah. The lockdown was never presented to us as we're going to stay inside and wait for a vaccine. The lockdown was, remember the curves, we have to keep the rate of infection within what the hospitals could handle. That was the goal. And there was significant mission creep that once we did that, and we did it with a very comfortable margin, we forgot that that's what we initially sold it on. We forgot that we were supposed to, once we bend the curve,

then live within the curve. We were prepared to do that. And Trump is on pretty firm ground there, actually, if you want to go back to what the logic of enlightened people was back at that time. He's not saying anything in contradiction to what they had initially spelled out as what the goals were to be here. And if Trump had said what I just said, that would have been a very, very powerful debating point.

Biden would have not had very, very powerful debating point. Biden would have not had an answer to that. And I think that, you know, maybe he will get it. What happened to that? Where did that idea disappear? Look, I mean, I don't think it's necessarily wrong to change a strategy if you feel upon reevaluation that it's better to just stay inside, but at least acknowledge that indeed you've changed the strategy and you've changed the goal? No.

And, you know, to blow my own horn, when I was wondering whether or not to close the Comedy Cellar, and I might have told you this, I was emailing with Yasha Malk, you know, right through The Atlantic, name dropping, because he wrote some important columns about, you know, shut everything down. And I, but because he wrote, because he wrote some important columns about, you know, shut everything down and asked him what he thought. And he thought it was very important that we shut down and he convinced me. And that's why he, that was largely why I shut down early. But, um, what I did write him an email and I saw a reason I said, but you know what,

Yasha, when it comes time to reopen, there's never going to be a good time. I said, I did it because once, once that's it, I said, I said once reopening means upping the amount of death, it's likely we're going to be reluctant to do that. So I recognized even then that this would likely happen. But for whatever that's worth, it's still, that doesn't mean that Trump is wrong. Because we do need to get on with our lives and people, and we do have a lot of information now and people who are at high risk are way better able now to keep themselves safe than they were back then.

And people who are at low risk, low risk have way more confidence that they're at low risk. I mean, some people, some people's risk of dying from coronavirus is no different or less than their risk of dying from the flu. So there's large numbers of people who are saying I'm staying inside now for something which is no riskier to me than the flu. Would you like all these laws and everything notwithstanding, would you feel comfortable opening the cellar? No, I don't feel it's weird. Like I don you feel comfortable opening the cellar no i don't feel it's weird like i don't feel comfortable i'm worried about it i'm not i'm not eager to go down in a basement i'm older but when i'm but just because i don't feel comfortable

doesn't mean it's right when you when you're reacting to something that you feel comfortable about it's very very um unreliable decision-making you're doing. You're just reacting on your gut. Like I talk about, like when my wife sees a kidnapping in Iowa and now she doesn't want to let our kids take the bus. And it's real what she's feeling. It's visceral. She just can't bear to let the kids, she's afraid. But that's, so she's not comfortable. But the question is, is it rationed? The question is,

is it rationed? And where are you going to draw the line of what's rational? I don't know. I don't know. I think that like, I don't think it's crazy that they opened the colleges. Well, they have.

I don't think that's crazy. Shut down? I don't think they have. But like if you have, you have, I don't think that's crazy. Shut down. I don't think they have, but like, if you have, you have colleges and you let the, you let the kids who have high risks stay home. We know that if 20,000 kids get it, uh, you may not even have any deaths, 20,000 kids without, without preexisting conditions, you might not have, you might not have any deaths. So, you know, you, to open the colleges and let the kids decide and give them the option to stay home, that's not crazy to me. I don't know

whether I would go. I don't know whether I would send my kid. I know some people have sent their kids. I know people have sent their kids to college. We know people have sent their kids to school. My nephew went and he got COVID, but he recovered quickly with, with, with little difficulty. Wow. That's crazy. My, my niece and my nephew are both doing remote overseas remote. Yeah. My kids are home. My kids are doing remote. I'm not sending them because, because I'm able to do it. And also because I don't have a single kid, I have three kids.

So they, they, they have a social life together. We have a backyard. But if I was alone in an apartment with one kid, and I had to weigh this misery that this kid was going to face for the next, you know, for a year against taking a really, really remote risk, when you say it out loud, with his life, it sounds like, well, if you're saying a risk with his life, then you should, then obviously you know your answer. You don't do't do it but of course every time you get in a car every time you take a plane every time you do a trampoline i mean this is opening and then

they're closing as you know i mean they're opening and then they're closing right down because people are getting it and teachers are at risk and it's not just i you know it's not just the remote chance that a child they're closing to clean or whatever it is they're not closing no they're closing because people are getting covid what's that they're closing until there's a vaccine that's it i don't know well nobody knows that's the thing nobody knows and and i guess all i'm saying is that neither side is crazy the people who want. The people who aren't wearing masks, who are refusing to wear masks because they think their rights are being infringed upon are crazy.

That's crazy. Well, you know, I actually love that. But let me just say to go back and then we'll end. When people were saying we need to bend the curve, do you recall anybody saying at that time? No, no, no, no, no. Bending the curve is not enough. We need everybody to stay home until this is over.

Nobody was saying that. If it's so fucking obvious, not one smart person, it didn't occur to anybody. To everybody who heard it says, yeah, we've got to bend the curve. That made perfect sense to everybody. Now we don't have the nerve. Now we're used to being inside.

It doesn't seem, it seems like, okay, I guess we can do this. No, but there's something else, Dan. And this is, I left this unsaid. Now there is a partisan aspect to all this. That it is a way of hating Trump if you oppose any easing up on the lockdowns. That is real. Trump represents easing down on the lockdowns. And from that, people are reacting into extreme positions about the lockdowns that they never had and never occurred to them prior to the time when this became this issue. That's what I'm saying. It's political now.

But before it was political, people didn't see it. And that's always a big warning sign. That's why I bring up the New York Times from 2012. Before it was political, the Times saw 20% of the absentee ballots as risky, maybe disqualifiable. Now that it's a partisan issue, you're not going to see a story like that in the Times

anymore. They pretend they never wrote that story. Actually, it's interesting that you... I'm surprised that I haven't seen that article that nobody's on Facebook has posted it. First, I've seen it. And by the way, I would hesitate to post it on Facebook.

Just post the article without commentary, without anything. No commentary, nothing at all. Just to post it on Facebook. Just post without commentary, without anything. No commentary, nothing at all. Just to post an article that says absentee ballots are sketchy on Facebook would earn me the wrath of many people. And so I wouldn't even post an article without comment, which is, by the way, is pretty bad. Pretty bad that that's how I feel.

Well, that's right. And that's why voting for Biden is not bad. Pretty bad that that's how I feel. Well, that's right. And that's why voting for Biden is, it's not Biden, it's giving them an inch. The people that are responsible for that misery that we face. We can't speak freely. We can't post stuff on Facebook.

We're worried about our friends. And it's like, you know, and God forbid. I mean, look, to personalize it, I have you know, I have a half black stepson. He's, he's, he doesn't look black, not that that should matter. But, but, you know, just full disclosure, he looks more like Puerto Rican or Hispanic or something. And, you know, and, and, and I, and we raised him, me and his, and his Indian mom, Indian poor American mom, he wasn't raised by anybody African American. And to hear, to vote for this ideology that talks about that relationship and that idea in that way, you know, is not very different for me than voting for white supremacy. It is not. I mean, the stuff that they're saying, I take it personally. I adopted a black child, you know, fuck them.

What the fuck do they know about what, what that, that I'm, what are they? I mean, who, how dare them, how dare they talk this way about this woman who saved children who were probably starving in an earthquake? Did Ibram Kendi go and help any Haitian children? The nerve, the disgusting nerve of it. And these people are heroes, heroes in the Democratic Party.

Just nobody has the nerve to call them out on it so you know that's how I shoot anyway we're way over time so we'll see you next time podcast.com.com for suggestions comments and queries and we'll see you next time

watch us on YouTube and listen Dan does not hesitate and we'll see you next time. And you can watch us on YouTube and listen. Dan does not hesitate. Bye. He is really, I mean, not delicate. And you can follow us at Live From the Table on Instagram. Good night. And vote.