The Comedy Cellar: Live from the Table - Darrell Hammond, Ray Ellin, and Kendall Ketchum

Episode Date: April 20, 2018

Darrell Hammond is a legendary standup comic and former Saturday Night Live cast member. Ray Ellin is a New York City-based standup comedian who may be seen performing regularly at the Comedy Cellar. He is also an Executive Producer on the Comedy Cellar's new Comedy Central TV show. Kendall Ketchum is a standup comedian who frequently opens for Darrell Hammond around the country.

You're listening to The Comedy Cellar, live from the table, on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com. Good evening, everybody. Welcome to The Comedy Cellar show here on Sirius XM Channel 99. My name is Noam Dwarman. I'm the owner of The Comedy Cellar here at the back table at The Comedy Cellar with my co-host, Mr. Dan Aderman, who just rushed in. It has a medical emergency there. I see blood. No, I cut my finger cutting a tag off a Banana Republic jeans that I'm wearing right now because I got a million tags you got to cut off.

Anyway, I cut my finger with a scissor. So I was like, for some reason, I started thinking about tetanus. I haven't had a tetanus shot. I remember in summer camp, I got cut. They took me to a tetanus shot. This is so Jewish, right? I can't think of any black guy going through this thought process.

No, of course not. But I'm being paranoid. I'm like, this is ridiculous. I'm obsessing. I'm going to call Dr. Lamb's office or send him an email on my MyChart. They're going to tell me, what the fuck are you worried about? You're a fucking paranoid. Calm the fuck down.

So I send an email. Got a minor cut. I was worried about tetanus. I'm sure it's nothing. She writes back, the nurse, better get a booster shot. They can't. Otherwise, I get sifted. I was worried about tetanus. I'm sure it's nothing. She writes back to the nurse, better get a booster shot. They can't, otherwise I get I wrote back, well, it's a minor cut. No problem. I should get

a booster shot. Good advice. Can I wait till Monday? She said, better get it now because you're better safe than sorry. Have you taken on Chris Rock's delivery? Anyway, the point is I had to go to Stupid City MD and get a dumb tetanus shot for no reason. Can we introduce our guest?

Sorry, Daryl, if that was... We have one of the great members of the Comedy Cellar family here and someone who's been very nice to me personally and I'm a big admirer of him, Mr. Daryl Hammond. Thank you. Yes. You know, that used to happen to me in the ER when I was in the psych ward.

Well, how so? Yeah, because they only have you for one night. You're not crazy enough to stay the whole time. So they're like, you know what? Can you outfit him for some psychosis just in case? Because we don't want him to jump off a building. And then they go, why did you let him go? Did you know he was psychotic?

So they used to give me something called a billify. Oh, I know what that is. My stepson would take that. I've been kind of nutty in my life. I mean, it doesn't just treat psychosis, but I never have heard or saw things yet. But anyway, I'm just trying to relate to your tetanus story.

So in other words, they don't want to get sued, so they just tell you you've got to do everything. Just treat them for everything. And I'm going trying to relate to your tetanus story. Well, so in other words, they don't want to get sued, so they just tell you you've got to do everything. Yeah. Just treat them for everything. And I'm going to Moon Tower tomorrow, so it was all in my head that I've got to get this done now. So I went to CityMD. Are you going to Moon Tower by any chance, Darren?

No. It's that festival in Austin, Texas, comedy festival in Austin. You're going to play a comedy festival? Is it outdoors with a crowd? No, no, no. You're scared of that stuff. It's like Montreal, except it's in Austin, Texas. Do they Is it outdoors with a crowd? No, no, no You're scared of that stuff It's like Montreal Except it's in Austin, Texas

Do they give you a Xanax? No She's got the better safe than sorry tour Do you take anything before you go on stage? Like anything to relax? No, no But in the No

You take beer? Drink a beer? But I do get very, very anxious before going on stage And which is why I really... Always? No, it's gotten worse for some reason. I'm not sure why that would be. Ten-minute sets?

No, forget ten minutes. It's easy. That's like falling off a log. But headliners set, yes. Headliners set, I do get very nervous. Unfortunately, no one's giving me a TV show, so I'm continuing to have to do stand-up to make money. Do you get nervous, Daryl? Because you never seem nervous to me at all, ever.

Not that nervous. I mean, there was this one time on SNL, my first appearance, I got really nervous. And, you know, I kind of sucked, you know. I was too scared. And my body just sort of recorded that and said, Dude, no. Do not do that again. do not do that again.

Do not do that again. That was the last time. Yeah, but I mean, I would get nervous, but not like terrified or handshaking or anything like it was the first show. Yeah, I think that, because I'm a little bit more like Dan. I played music for years and years and years

and still I would get nervous before I went on stage. I think you need to get butterflies. I think that's fine, don't you? A little nervous energy kind of gets you going. Ray Allen is here, by the way. So, listen, I want to... We have a lot to talk... Yes, we have a jam-packed show. But there's one thing I... First of all,

Daryl, I haven't seen you in a long time. Has anything happened between you and Esty or something? Did what? Is there some reason that you... Are you... You're not... I probably shouldn't talk about this on the radio. I haven't seen you in so long. Did anything happen? What are you referring to? I'm serious.

Did anything happen? I'm not aware of anything happening. Are you mad at us? That's a better way to put it. No. Oh, okay. You mad at me? Are you crazy?

I mean, well, of course I'm not mad at you. Yeah, I don't know what happened. Is there something? Well, he lives in New Orleans, right? So you're not... I live in New Orleans. I moved back from New Orleans two years ago. I'm a little behind.

He's doing SNL. He's got to be in town. No, I'm actually going to move back. I just got an apartment there again, yeah. New Orleans. In New Orleans, yeah. So if you only need to SNL, you can just come once a week to do the announcement, right? Yeah.

Well, if there is anything we should talk about, I hope there's nothing. We'll talk about it. I mean, I don't understand everything. I certainly miss the place. I mean, I feel real wistful. You can't cuss on Sirius, can you? Oh, of course you can. I feel wistful as shit, you know.

Well, if there's something, we should clear it up can. I feel wistful as shit, you know. Well, there's something we should clear up in two seconds because there's nothing as far as I know. Apropos of SNL, you know, I sort of haven't been watching it for years. And I started watching all the shows. Because Saturday night I'm busy, but I've been watching a lot of the sketches on YouTube. And it really, really is good. I don't think there's any sketch show that's even within 100 miles of SNL ever.

I don't think they should even do sketch shows. Just retire the sketch show. Let SNL handle it. They got it. That's how I feel about it. Is there any close second in the sketch world? I haven't seen it. In my estimation, there is not.

I haven't seen it. It's too hard. What were all the sketch shows? I mean, there was Mad TV. There was Carol Burnett, right? There was, what else? Living Color. Some of those, now that you mention it, they were pretty darn good, weren't they?

They were amazing. Carol Burnett was amazing. Carol Burnett was good. They had a few recurring sketches and then a couple that would be fresh. And then Living Color had a golden year or two where they really were quite funny, but then they couldn't sustain it at all. But SNL manages to keep it. When SNL does shit, you wouldn't even think. It's so nonlinear, some of the shit they do.

Like that feud that you were doing as Sean Connery with Alex Trebek. Where does that even come from? I think it was just one of those things where. That's why it's so great. Yeah, but I mean, I always feel like the audience needs to understand your premise and agree with it a little bit, you know, to go ahead and laugh. So the idea that Sean Connery was stupid or hated Alex Trebek was just ridiculous. We expected it to bomb, but the opposite happened, you know.

It was a way... I've never actually had an experience like that. Yeah, there's no real rhyme or reason to it. And that was the brilliance of it. It's like, why does Alex Trebek hate with such passion? I'd rather Sean Connery hate Trebek with such passion. Did you just watch Sean Connery and you're like, I can do that voice? Or did it just kind of pop in your head?

How does that work? I had it where I wanted it, and then Lorne said that I needed to exaggerate it, make it into a cartoon. So I had the accurate one, and then I had the cartoon, and the cartoon is funnier. That's his talent, right? That's Lorne Michaels' talent to be able to... One of them. Just to jump around,

you're one of the only people who's gotten a positive tweet from President Trump. Really? Is that true? You know what I'm referring to, right? Yeah. Do you have any comments on that? How did it make you feel? I don't know.

Why don't you flesh it out a little bit? What was the tweet? I'll see if it's safe enough to talk. Trump doesn't like Alec Baldwin's impression of him. Oh, okay. And Trump says, you know, it was terrible. The worst impression ever. Bring back Daryl Hammond.

He was way better, much better. And I don't know. You know, did he spell your name properly? I think he even spelled your name wrong. I think he got my name right, didn't he, Kendall? Yeah. So is that, you know, leave it to me to bring up something I shouldn't bring up. No, that's cool.

I mean, that's a great question. No, but maybe you should be more direct. Go ahead and put a finer point on it. Do you wish you were still doing the Trump on SNL? Oh, that's a long... Wait. Did you text me that morning? Because I...

Yeah, I had my phone in the living room when I was sleeping, and my phone started ding, ding, dinging. It's pretty amazing to think that someone in Budapest is reading your name and asking who you are. Or maybe Vlad even. I was cheering for you when I saw that. No, I mean, personally, I like Alec Baldwin's. I don't think it's not what Daryl does, but it's funny.

I find him funny. He's not really trying to be a dead-on impersonator. Maybe he is. I don't know. No, no, it's more just his Alec Baldwin funniness that comes through and I enjoy it. But it gets a little... See, to me,

I watch it and I'm like, it's fine, but it's not him meaning Daryl. It's like, that's a whole other thing. When Daryl does it, there's a depth to it.

My friend Kendall Ketchum is here. She tours with me. Can we say hi to her? Hi, hi. My name is Kendall Ketchum. I've been on tour with Daryl, opening for him for about two years. Oh, you're a comic. I am.

And a darn good one. Now, what was it about Kendall that made you say, I want her to be my opener? I saw her at Caroline's. I saw her kill. And I needed, Linda Smith wasn't doing, she didn't want to stand up saw her kill. And I needed... Linda Smith wasn't doing... She didn't want to stand up as much anymore. And I needed... Linda Smith? That's a name from the past.

CVS. Well, she wasn't... I like a female... I like a female opener. Now... It just balances the room out. It makes it better. So she went on stage.

She killed. She was clean. And I asked her to do a weekend with me. Now, do you want your openers to... You want them to do well, but do you want them to kill too hard? I mean, after all, you don't want people leaving saying, you know, that first chick was better. You want them to be funny and at the same time turn the crowd into an audience. I mean, you know, I knew a guy that opened me for a while and I loved him and he was really a funny guy, but his humor was about how the Pope was a sham and a fraud and, you know,

religion. I mean, the certain political families were criminals and he fleshed the whole thing out. So he was slamming the Pope and calling the government of the United States criminals. And I thought he was very good. That's just not for you. Not to open. He should close. I said, you should close, but you can't open for me.

Did it turn the audience off a little bit? My act is really kind of tame. You know my act. Yeah. Well, I certainly do. And it's not offensive. No. I mean, it's not going to offend anybody.

No. It's entertaining. Black people never get offended at the Al Sharpton? No. No. I think they laugh the hardest, actually. It's the white people that get really uncomfortable. They get nervous about it.

I'm not saying Bozo don't have talent. I'm saying something like that. When I did Jesse Jackson at the Apollo, and it went extremely well for me, and someone told me after, it's because they think you're serious about what you're doing, and it's a pretty good impression. And the material's good. And it's not mean.

It's not mean-spirited. How can an impression of somebody shouldn't be offensive? You're simply imitating their voice. I can see how it might be slightly sensitive over the radio. I mean, when we did Jesse Jackson, they brought us, there were lawyers and they brought different colors of African-American, dark brown, this brown, that brown, light brown, orange brown, quadroon New Orleans brown, creole brown,

looking for as if the fact that I was white playing someone with a different skin color was going to be a big problem. It turned out it wasn't. Did you ever meet Jesse Jackson? Jesse? Yeah. No. No?

By the way, Hitler didn't care for the impersonation. That's right. Hey, Daryl, is there ever a thing where, like, you know, like Paul McCartney probably always has to play Hey Jude, and he might not feel like doing Hey Jude? Do you ever, when you have a gig, is there ever a thing where it's like, oh, shit, I have to do Clinton for these people,

and I really don't feel like it? Is that ever a thing where it's like, oh, shit, I have to do Clinton for these people and I really don't feel like it? Has that ever happened? Not really. I mean, I started doing clubs again because it's fun to work with Kendall. And his money is pretty good. Yeah. You know, and I don't turn down good. I don't even turn down pretty good money.

Right. I don't really turn any money down. And it's kind of fun. But they don't care what you do. But, yeah, you've got to do some Clinton. You've got to do Sean Connery. Yeah. Yeah, you've got to do that.

Who have you done? You've done your Clinton in front of Bill Clinton? Yes. And he liked it? You've done your Al Gore in front of Al? You actually look a little bit, actually do look a little bit like Al Gore. Is that true? There is something in your face.

He's a handsome man, Al Gore. Do you see that? Of all of them, I could see... I don't see that. I do think Kendall looks like a Corena. Corena Gore. Corena Gore. Formerly Corena Gore Schiff, but they were divorced.

Is that right? They've been divorced for a while. I did not know that. It's not that big a deal. She's extremely attractive, Kendall. She's a very pretty girl. So is Corena Gore. That's very true.

I'll take it. That's very pretty. I'll take it. Very pretty and funny. By the it. Very pretty and funny. By the way. Very pretty and funny. Great combination. Well, we won't delve into any...

Yes. What about it? I'll take it. You know what? If that's the worst I get, I'll take it. This is not an insult. I'm a good looking guy. Yeah, yeah.

There's serious Al Gore. Look at that. I just want to make sure you're going to keep your promise last week. You promised to give us all the dish. Can we talk about the Starbucks thing? Yes, we can. But you promised last week to give us all the dish on Vegas. I still can't dish on Vegas.

We're having, I mean, I don't know. What can I say? Well, you can give them broad strokes of Vegas, right? Well. You know, they opened a new cellar in Las Vegas, right? I didn't know. Yeah, at the Rio Hotel. Noma expanded the empire to Las Vegas.

And he has mixed feelings about the whole thing. The shows, from what I hear, have been going great, right? Nice-sized crowds, tremendous response. Do you do showcase sets or hour sets? Showcase sets. We flew four comedians out, and Mark Cohen is emceeing. Do you do hours one night a week? We're experimenting with that.

He'd be a great hour. Daryl would be phenomenal. Absolutely, but if we stay open. But we're having some problems there, backroom problems. Yeah. And we're trying to figure them out. I hope we do figure them out. I really can't.

I don't want to say anything that would get. You can't elaborate. Well, I don't want to say anything that would make it harder to't elaborate. Well, I don't want to say anything that would make it harder to settle the problems, because I really do want to settle the problems, and everybody's, I think, trying in good faith to settle the problems. By the way, Noam, did you bring the text that I sent you? I have my text messages. But we just got greenlit for a Comedy Central TV show, a weekly...

What is it? Well, I'm saying last week you had mentioned that you thought I was harassing you about doing the podcast in Vegas. Yes. And I used to remind you to bring the text, which I forgot to do. Oh, I didn't remember. So I pitched the show to comedy. This is what happened.

Ray Allen brought me to some pitch meeting with some producer. And I was just going along. Production company. I was just going along for the ride. Ray had some idea. Nobody even remembers what the idea was. The idea was another comedy seller show. It was some convoluted, difficult comedy seller show.

I sat through the pitch meeting for 25 minutes and as we're getting up to leave... We really have a different recollection of this experience. As we're getting up to leave, I said, I have an idea for a show and immediately Ray gets angry. Apparently you're not supposed to... Is that the show you're talking about? Yeah, and it's completely not true.

But it's a talk show. No, it's a weekly stand-up, a weekly topical stand-up that the show you're talking about? Yeah, and it's completely not true. But it's a talk show. No, no. It's a weekly stand-up, a weekly topical stand-up show. But you will be interviewing? No. No interviews. No. I'm an executive producer.

It goes through me like a knife. I'm letting down. No, I'm not. Thank you very much. He's super good at that. Thank you. I appreciate it. So I said, I have an idea for a show. Hear that, Noam?

Yeah, and Ray gets mad at me. I said, listen, why don't we just shoot every show all week and then edit it down to a half an hour of the best topical jokes that the comedians tell all week about whatever happened in the news that week or whatever's going on. And the guy says, that's a great idea. Two days later, I had papers to sign, and now we just got greenlit for a show. And for some reason, because Ray was in the right place at the right time,

according to custom, he has to be executive producer now. And I had an argument. I said, Ray. I can't believe this conversation is happening again. That's how you get these jobs. And it's complete bullshit. None of this work. Your recollection of the story.

Why are you executive producer? Explain to me. I can explain. Dan, go ahead. I can explain. But I'm more of an unbiased opinion. Thank you. Yeah.

You could have very easily taken it and run with it, Noam, but you didn't. This is not a why. Why is he executive producer? Because without him, there would be no show, and I'll explain why. Because Noam, you know, he gets excited for five minutes, and then he kind of lets it drop because he's too rich and too, you know, apathetic to really put in any effort. He thought it was a good idea, and it was a good idea, and it was his idea.

What was my excuse in high school, Dan? But then, he wouldn't, I don't know him. He wouldn't have followed through. Ray called and hounded. He told me the idea, and I said, let's run with it. He called and he hounded and he pushed. Took three years. And he nudged and he called-ish and hounded them and got the pilot made because he hounded and he hounded and he pushed and he hounded. I produced the sizzle reel.

And I don't think you would have done that. I think you would have been like, yeah, it's a good idea, but, you know, I'd rather be home with my kids. Was that all of the nine pitch meetings to all the networks? I know, but why were you there? I didn't invite you. I had told Ish about the other idea. This is what happened.

When they gave me the papers to sign for the show, there was no Ray Allen listed in the papers. Actually, that's not true. That's not true. The papers that I signed. You signed, but our original contract, both our names were on it. No. And I get there. I'm like, what is Ray Allen doing here?

Well, he was in the room. That's it. He's in the room. You're married to him. Why do you like to privately praise me and then publicly you belittle... This never would have fucking happened without me. Ever. Did I say otherwise? Well, you're kind of implying that now

in front of Daryl and Corinna. I just don't understand this show business thing where in my life, if Daryl said, hey, do you know anybody you could recommend? I'm thinking of starting some kind of business. I'd say, yeah, I know this guy. I'd say, okay, you guys are really successful. Now you owe me 15%. Except that's not what happened, and I never said you owe me anything.

You're not giving me a penny out of your pocket. I have a deal with the network. Really? The pie is smaller because you take a share. That's ridiculous. Because Ray did a lot more than simply introduce you to the producer. In any case. He pushed it along.

In any case. And I didn't lobby to get this title of executive producer when I got my contract that said executive producer. They did that to bug me. But anyway, he did do a great job. I like how it sounds.

Thank you, Daryl. I appreciate it. It reads well. And I earned every fucking minute of that title. In the press release, he's listed first.

What is Ray Allen being paid every week? I know you're not going to give me that information. Why would I? I just feel like I'd ask just for shits and giggles. But anyway, Daryl, the point is that we do have a Comedy Central show.

And that's really, really exciting for me personally. And so if Vegas doesn't work, I'm totally fine putting my attention to that. Yeah, but Mark Cohen needs that gig. I love Mark Cohen. And we all love Mark Cohen. You have investors in that gig, right? Right. Shut up, Ray.

See that? Anyway. Yeah, we talked. Well, the point is you don't want to disappoint all the people that really want this to happen. I mean, that's got to be entering into your thought process. All right. Yeah, yeah, your name. I really don't want to talk about it.

Okay, fair enough. All right. We have Daryl here. We haven't seen him in a couple years. There's a chemistry at this table. I'm just trying to jump in. There's so much going on. You want to talk about Starbucks?

I want to talk about Starbucks. I want to ask Daryl. When I have somebody like Daryl on this show, of course, I want to ask him all the SNL questions, all the questions, but then in the back of my mind, I want to ask him all the SNL questions, all the questions. But then in the back of my mind, I say everybody from Howard Stern to the New Orleans Gazette asks you the same questions over and over. And not only that, we've had him on before. We'll have him on again.

You could also say to Daryl, do you like talking about this? Say it again? Do you enjoy talking about the SNL stuff? Or would you rather not? I just came in for the Percocet, dude. The thing is, maybe Kendall Ketchum can do a guest set tonight and show Noam how funny she is on stage. Why doesn't she?

Yeah. You want to do a guest set? I would love to do a guest set, yes. Where at? He's downstairs at the Cellar. What time? I don't know. It's up to Noam.

It's Daryl's guest. You could do a guest set. Kendall's quite funny, yeah. First of all, I just want to let you's up to Noam. It's Daryl's guest. You could do a guest. That'd be nice. That's quite funny. Yeah. First of all, I just want to let you know, you absolutely can. Second of all, Ray Allen is dead to me. I figured you, I was waiting for you to invite him to do it. Because don't think he was. Is this what they call bickering?

Yes. He's a real bitch. Kendall, don't think he did that. Have you heard of passive aggressiveness? I did it because she's a guest of Daryl's. This was Ray Allen really overstepping his bounds. Daryl said his opener's funny. He's an executive producer on some show.

Thank you. This guy's got clout. He's got street cred. Let him put a chick on him. I have to agree with Noam that Ray did overstep his bounds. Really? That's something I would have done. It's a no-brainer to offer a chick on. I have to agree with Noam that Raid the Overstep is bad. Really? That's something I would have done. It's a no-brainer to offer a guest set.

Well, it's a no-brainer for Noam to offer in his discretion. It's not my club. I don't own the club. I'm sorry to sit through this, but I can tell you for real now. What? You come on the radio show,

and we can talk about whatever we want about whatever... I'm not lying about the stuff about the show about what you about the about the show you are i have emails from three years ago no that's well we can have another show we do that but i'm not lying and i and i and i don't mind talking about it and you can disagree however what you just did what i do with him with yes yeah that inviting kendall that was that was over the line. Really? Really?

For her to do six minutes? No, it has nothing to do with her. Oh, what is it? It's that you don't ask somebody in front of somebody else a question, but you know what you did. Actually, not really. You know what you did. You know what you did. I think it's a no-brainer.

If Daryl says she's funny, I trust Daryl. He wouldn't say that. I'm glad you trust Daryl. And it's, you know, I apologize if it offended you. Wait till I tell Esty this Oh god Ray's never gonna get another spot Norm is such a little cunt

It really is unbelievable But Excuse my language Steven Can you find Liz So we can find when she can do her Her guest spot And actually

We could even put it on the radio If you want I don't know if you want Like we could cut it into the radio To make the Yes Yes yes to all of them That'd be cool

Okay so that'll make Please, please kill. Please. Please. Ray Allen did overstep his bounds. I'm torn because, of course I want you to... First of all, you're delightful

and I don't want anybody to bomb and... And she's with Daryl. She's Daryl's opener. ...at the thing. But what is the... Why would she bomb? What's wrong with her room?

It's a cellar, man. It's a cellar. So why would she... She wouldn't, but I'm just saying if you put a gun to my head and I had to tell the truth,

it would be awesome if you bombed as well because then Ray would, I could really, really doubt it. But you can't bomb because you have a career.

You don't want to be dead. I think Ray was out out of line. That's really mean. Absolutely. Mean-spirited of you two. I apologize to Noam and Dan, but to Dan and Kendall, I say you're welcome.

You don't have to apologize to me because it wasn't me that you were out of line with. It was Noam. All right, well, Noam will get over it. Those six minutes that Miss Ketchum's going to do. Noam, how are you? Well, I'll be fine. I'm not in the least bit worried. As a matter of fact, I generally do invite people.

Are you a little aggravated? No, I'm aggravated about where he was coming from. I'm not aggrav people. Are you a little aggravated? No, I'm aggravated about where he was coming from. I'm not aggravated. I came from a nice place. No, that's a nice place. Anyway, you follow me, right? You must be like, oh my God, I can't believe he did that. This is going over my head. It really is.

Six minutes on a Wednesday? Can we get back to SNL? Tell me, so you did Clinton in front of Clinton at the White House? Is that my memory? That is true, yes. Can you tell that story? Do you mind telling that story?

It's remarkable to me that, first of all, that you didn't melt in front of these guys. I have a hard time hearing myself. You want to put the headphones on? Yeah, maybe in a second. I always futz with my voice when I do that. Yeah, I did. You don't want to offend the president. He was the president at the time, right?

Yeah. So you're going to do an impersonation of him in front of him. I played his clone. It's online in that C-SPAN type thing. He faked like that his leg, he had just hurt his leg, and so he brought out his clone. And I did it,

and it was a little bit larger than life. He's a good guy, right? I think so. I think he's the kind of guy that makes you feel like you're one of the most important things that's happened to him. Are you filming me? No, no, no.

I'm filming me. Not quite like Ryan. The L is the reverse. That's what I've heard about him. And other people like him, that they have the ability somehow to focus on you when they speak to you in such a way that you... I think Bush is really gregarious.

W. Yeah. He's really fun to talk to. You hung out with him? Did you do Bush? He does W. Yeah, but I don't do the stupid W. You don't do the stupid W. That's Will Fowle.

I do the crafty W. Listen, man. Start playing favor with some of these politicians in the liberal world, saying you like them. You could lose your job, man. Did you like, and you used to do Donahue. I don't even know this. When you were first, what year did you start down here? 95.

In 95. In the cellar? Oh, my God. All the waitresses were in love with you. I think a lot of people don't know that I developed every SNL character here. Is that true? I didn't even know that. Yeah.

But, I mean, the Donahue thing was just, you know, a lot of these impersonations. And Donahue became Ted Koppel. Donahue became Ted Koppel? Yeah. It seems to me that somebody does the impersonation first and then other people steal an impersonation of the impersonation so like I've seen other people do Donahue

but when he first did Donahue no one had ever done Donahue I don't know if I've ever seen anybody else do it Donahue do you remember Ron Darien Ron Darien was a comedian here and he was the first guy I ever saw do that typical William Shatner imitation. Yeah, he's very good.

He was great. It was the funniest thing I'd ever seen. And that's the way the Donahue thing was. It was extremely good. Yeah. And, well, who else? Who else? Joe Lasky.

Are you talking about the people that did Donahue? No. I never saw anybody do Jesse Jackson. I never saw anybodyahue? No. I never saw anybody do Jesse Jackson. I never saw anybody do any of those. I never saw anybody do Jesse Jackson. In Living Color, they did Jesse Jackson. I never saw anybody else do Jesse Jackson. I think.

I'm a weirdo. You know, I drove around. I started out with Billy Gardell, you know, from Mike and Molly. We started out together in the Southeast. We drove around, and, man, we would just do voices and cut up, and I practiced Jesse for about five years, and then it wasn't a hard shift to Al Sharpton. It's fun to play preachers.

What's the difference? Is the difference going with the octave or in the cadence? I think it's where it occurs in the throat. That's real nerd talk, but that's the best I got. It's like Jesse occurs down in here, Al occurs here, and here at the same time, like,

clearly there's something wrong. Clearly what I said was, you can see it's coming from in here and up here. Jesse's like, I'm Jesse Jackson. Come up around in here, you know. Now you really study these characters, right? I'm a nerd. I'm a total nerd.

I've been studying them since I was a kid. So when you say you practice somebody for five years, you record them, you videotape them. With Jesse, I made a repeat after me tape. He was speaking at a convention, and he was like, I would like to pause, praise, give thanks to America. Red, yellow, black, white All precious in God's sight Who's here together?

And I love that part Who's here together? All precious in God's sight Who's here together? What are you saying? Who's here together? I don't even I don't know what he's saying either

Who's a hair to get? I don't even... I don't know what he's saying either. Who's a hair to get? Oh, my God. And you love these little idiosyncrasies of these people. Sure. And you pick up on them. Yeah, when I was a kid, I used to do vowel and consonants. I was seven years old, eight years old, doing vowel and consonant substitutions for Popeye.

What does that mean? When he's scat singing, what are the syllables? He doesn't do T's, he does D's. He doesn't do B's, he does P's. Scat singing, like he's going over to

olive oil. Let me see if I can still do this. Skid-a-be-da-da-do, skid-a-ba-da-da-ba-da-da-da-do. bees he does peas, you know, sort of scatting, like he's going over to olive oils, like a, let me see if I can still do this. Skiddy-biddy-dud-dud, skiddy-biddy-giddy-buddy-giddy-dud. Cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck. That was seven years old. And then the porky pig, you know, when he's stuttering. It will be a semester.

It will be. Yeah, I did all that stuff. That's wonderful. My parents didn't pay any attention to me. Was it like Mel Blanc and all? You admire of his? Yeah. Hell yeah. I mean, I had free reign in my house.

I could drink, do drugs. They were never home. I would just turn on TV and watch, you know? You could have been Mel Blanc. Huh? You could have been Mel Blanc. I don You could have been Mel Blanc. You still can be. I don't believe there has been a Mel Blanc. There's only one. No, I know.

You have the substance and the talent to do what he did. You still can. That's timeless. I mean, I don't think I'm as talented as him, but... You don't think that. I don't. He didn't do impressions. He made up his own character he could do

genius impressions but it's sort of like you know when I was trying to become a stand up my hero was Richard Pryor I understood I would never be as good as him I just wanted to be like him you know it was the same with Mel Blanc

I knew I'd not be that good. Did you ever do a prior impression in your act? No, I never did. People ask me why I don't do Colin Quinn. It's like, once I get this deep affection, I just can't do it. Once I have a real emotional feel, I just can't do it. I heard a rumor, and we're obviously not affectionate, but I did hear a rumor that you had done me at some point.

Really? I thought I heard that he was doing me, that Darrow was doing me. I said I could do you. Okay. Oh, I'd love to hear that. We all try to do anatomy. No, no, listen. Well, well, I am well.

When I say that, I mean, you're original, exactly the way God made you. You know, it's these people that have had speech coaches and dialect coaches like Bob Costas. It's impossible. The speech is perfect, you know. But you're an original. You're very full, you know. Am I coming out of the closet here or something? No, this is fascinating.

We're listening. He's a very colorful, interesting man. I think Natterman should be a star. And from the very beginning, I said he would be a star, and he may well be one day. I hope so. You just made Natterman's decade. Why? He's just a funny guy.

No, but no one praises him the way you do, except me. It's really rare when you see people that are utterly themselves. They go far, usually. I mean, think of presidents. You know, Bush, Clinton. Think of the great communicators

of all time. They would all fail an oral interpretation class. You don't teach people to do that. You're not really deriving from somewhere. You're utterly yourself. But that was George W.'s appeal, man. I appreciate your hard work. I appreciate, you know,

terror. He was himself. And people made fun of him for it, but people liked him. I'd love to have a beer with him. He'd be a really fun guy him. I'd love to have a beer with him. He'd be a really fun guy. It'd be great to have a beer with Bush, with W. What about Maya Angelou?

Do you have any theory where she got that accent from since she's from the deep south somewhere? I don't know. I always imagine her coming home for Thanksgiving dinner and talking. Can you do Maya Angelou? No. But the last time I saw Bush,

he put his hand on my belly and patted it. And he goes, looks like you've lost some tonnage. Tonnage. I laughed really hard. I thought he was funny. But I had a problem because I didn't think he was stupid. He's not stupid. I did not believe that.

His SAT scores are higher than Al Gore's. But I still play him like he's a street smart guy. And he is. I met his daughter a couple times. She was so sweet. And you could tell she adores her father. Loves her father. You tried to bang George Bush's daughter.

Why do you got to bring it to that level? Because we know you. Which one did you try to bang? I didn't try to bang any Bush member, family at all. Twins, Basil. None. Disgraceful. But I think a lot of these guys, under the pressure of not saying the wrong thing, end up sounding dumber than they are. But it's really just because they're so nervous.

No, and the presidential spotlight is horrible. And Bush is a guy that really didn't have it in him to do any posturing. Does anybody want to throw away my finger blood napkin? Any acting. Good spot to throw that in, Dan. Dan, what the hell is the matter with you? Right in the middle of my sentence. I'm sorry.

What could possibly be going on here? It's a great host. Wow. Yeah, I kept trying to get to my bits, but the host kept jumping in. No, I didn't do it. No, I didn't do Clint. Hello?

No, the guy said he jumped in. Say sorry, Dan. I did say I'm sorry. No, I'm saying it like you mean it. I did say it like I meant it. The guy just said you're going to be a huge star. Shut up, Ray Allen. He said you're going to be a huge star.

I'll take a Ray Allen side on this one. Bang him in the ass. You don't come on my show and question my hosting even if you don't think it's good. I think you're a great host. It's him. I'm just teasing. He will go far because he is himself. Just like you said.

Well, I better go far soon because time's a-wasting. I'm not Sweet 16 anymore. Bitch, I'm talking to you. Can you do your Maya Angelou for me? Oh, now you want your dancing monkey for you. Please do the Maya Angelou. I don't really do Maya Angelou for me. Oh, now you want Dancing Monkey for you. Please do the Maya Angelou. I don't really do Maya Angelou, and nothing you can say can make me do the Maya...

Does my sassiness upset you? Come on, Daryl. That's pretty good. Who was that? Maya Angelou. I thought it was great. Can you do it again? No. You can only do it once. It's like Daffy's famous act. Do Chris Rock.

I don't do Chris Rock. I only do one part of Chris Rock when he goes, ah. Nice. What do you think, Daryl? Nice. Now he's mad at you. I'm not mad at him. You should be.

You do tired, tired, tired, Dan. Pardon? You do tired, tired, tired. Tired, tired, tired. Yeah. Tired. Anyway, my thing about Maya Angelou, and I always thought it would be a funny skit,

was that her accent, you know, she comes from the deep south, and she has that accent that I can't do. And I imagine her going home Thanksgiving dinner, and her relatives are like, what the fuck is... Listen, bitch, we know you. You don't talk like that.

You don't say gonna. You say going to. You don't say, like, I'm out of something. O-U-D-D-A. You say, I'm out of something. That's what she talks. Because stage acting. Yeah, it's an affectation.

My father, you know my father, his sister, they grew up in the same home. She talked like that, kind of like Maya Angelou. And my father hated her for it. Really? Yeah, because it was a totally phony accent. And he just couldn't understand that she had the nerve to walk around with this British lilt to her voice. Terrence Trent Darby?

Because he was from the land, you know. And he had this accent and you're like, wow, dude. So you don't like movies, Noam, from... I do, yeah, I do. Do you not like movies then from the 40s and 50s?

Dan wants to talk about Starbucks and I want to talk about Starbucks. Well, I just feel like Noam as a restaurant owner and as a racist would have an interesting, unique perspective on the Starbucks scandal.

Well, I have to say I'm not totally up on it. I'll give you the... Okay, go ahead. ...the cliff note summary. A group of black guys, I don't know how many there were, two or three. They were in Starbucks not ordering food or coffee. And they were asked to leave because, you know, if you're not ordering, you're technically trespassing.

So they called the police. The police came. The black guy said, we were here waiting for somebody. We were just waiting. The police said, well, the Starbucks manager wants you out. You're trespassing. And they threw them out and I guess arrested them. And they went to the station for a few hours and they were let go eventually.

But now, of course, it's online. And it's gone viral, this whole thing, that Starbucks is racist. What do you think about it? Did they ask to use the bathroom? I thought I heard they asked to use the bathroom. They also asked to use the bathroom and were denied permission to use the bathroom, and we're denied permission to use the bathroom. Look, if you're not ordering at a store, you know, the store certainly has a right to throw you out. And the cops, absolutely.

If somebody calls up and says, I don't want these people here, the cops have to throw them in. It's not the cops' fault. I mean, that's one thing I think that's pretty clear. Look, Liz, you're a boss, right? Yep, she is. Well, Liz doesn't have a mic, but if we can... Can I go to the bathroom? Of course you can. You can do whatever

you want. Alright. Alright, I didn't know if there would be a bathroom break. But what is it about this story that that galls you? It doesn't gall me at all, but it galls many. Well, first of all... So they're closing down 8,000 Starbucks for diversity training. They're closing down for diversity training.

I don't know why they can't just do that, you know, on a night where they're closed after hours. Because they're making up racial... It's a big PR move. I mean, that's why they did that. In my opinion, and not... Listen, we've gone through this many times. Customers being infuriated because they couldn't use the bathroom. We had one customer piss on the floor because he was going to make his point that we weren't allowed,

they couldn't use the bathroom. You have customers who sit there and don't order, and you don't know if they're really meeting somebody, they're not meeting somebody. I tell everybody never to call the cops unless it's a real emergency because I know these things can backfire. But to me, it's the cops who really overstepped here because

yeah if you see some people sitting there and they're not ordering and say listen you gotta order and most people

in that situation say okay give me a coke or something we've all been kind of in that situation where we wanted to prove that we were being honest

so we'll order a bottle of water something just to show the restaurant owner but the cops did not have to arrest these people they could kick them out

without arresting them they weren't being threatening at all right cops did not have to arrest these people. They could kick them out without arresting them. They weren't being threatening at all, right? Nothing. It's just ridiculous to arrest them, I think. I don't know if it's racial or not. Well, that's the second element.

But look, when a restaurant tells you or any private proprietor tells you, these people are not authorized to be on my property, the cops then have to enforce that. Well, they say,

please leave, right? But they didn't want to leave. I don't know precisely what happened. I believe... It sounds like you're taking the side of the... The cops, not Starbucks, because Starbucks was having a double standard because they let white people hang out there all the time. Oh, you didn't say that. I'm against that. I didn't know that.

Well, I've hung out at Starbucks. I usually order a little something, and then I'll sit there for a while. Well, ordering a little something is totally different. I guess you're right. I mean, I really don't know. The truth is... It's unknowable.

Like I told my manager, Mert, today. Mert's black. I got pulled over. I mean, I got pushed up against the side of the building at 3 in the morning years ago by a white cop, very rough with me, and I tried to tell him that I own the place, and he says, shut up! And I was traumatized by it, you know? And I remember thinking that if I had been black,

and he accused me of carrying a gun, it was surreal. And if I had been black... That was his name, Surreal. There would be no way you could possibly convince me that this had not happened because I was black. There's just nothing you could have ever said to me to convince me. But obviously that wasn't the reason. So you don't know in any individual incident what's in a person's heart.

In the overall, like if a black guy can't get a cab 95 out of 100 times, and you and I from time to time, we know that a certain number of those incidents surely were racially motivated but you don't know in any particular incident it's happened to everybody that a cab drove past them.

So in this particular Starbucks incident we don't know what it was but it doesn't look good. I've had enough fellow comedians who are black

ask me to help them get a cab late at night where I hailed the cab and they would jump in. Oh yeah, when I used to date Rosalind she was them get a cab late at night where I hailed the cab and they would jump in. Oh, yeah. When I used to date Rosalind, you know, she was black in a cab.

A cab would pull past. They wouldn't know we were together and they would pull past her and say, get in, get in. Right. Thinking that we were two different people trying to pull the cab. Most of the cab drivers are people of color themselves.

Certainly many of cab drivers are. That's changed over the years. It didn't always used to. When I was a kid, it was all white guys. Now it's a lot of oppressed Indian people, right? By the way, speaking of diversity, Stephen, our producer Stephen sitting next to me, he's on mic. But Stephen, is there any way we could get a diversity trainer in here? I'd love to know.

Oh, that'd be great. What goes on in a diversity training session? Wait, Darrell. Go ahead. You can go ahead. Great idea, Dan. Thank you. That is a good idea.

Steven, any thoughts? Can you get a diversity trainer here? Especially if they work with Starbucks. Would you want a particular kind of diversity trainer? I don't want somebody that's written about it on a blog. I want somebody that's actually gone to real companies and does this for a living. He's a diversity trainer. Right.

But, I mean, would you prefer a diversity trainer of some sort of demographic? Or does it matter? I'd prefer a white guy. You'd prefer a white guy diversity trainer? Yes. Yes, I would. Ideally. Noam, do you have any thoughts on what kind of diversity trainer you'd prefer?

I don't see color, Dan. It doesn't matter. That's a smart idea. You can really grill the hell out of him. I just wanted some ridiculous white guy that's like, okay, now, Darrell, how does that make... Darnell, how does that make you feel

when he says that? But from the point of view of a person of color, isn't that just perpetuating the problem that, you know, like, we have limitless numbers of diversity trainers to choose from, but we are purposefully going for the white guy. Because I feel the white guy will be the most ridiculous. Yeah, Dan wants to reveal the bullshit hypocrisy.

I feel the white guy will be most ridiculous. I believe that. Of course. The white guy will be most just absurd in what he thinks are microaggressions at the office. You know, I would imagine. And also, it would be interesting to see what's in the curriculum. Can I talk about, what I'm annoyed about is that Daryl's

clearly, you're not talking of it. I understand that, but you said at the top of the show you wanted to talk about Starbucks. We're talking about Starbucks. If you feel we should focus 100% on Daryl, I'm fine with that. Read his body language, Dan. Well, I think that Daryl, you know, would like to be...

Daryl is more than just a... I'm out of this. Daryl is more than just a... You're not comedy selling material. Daryl is more than just a Clinton jukebox. He has opinions, no doubt, about what's going on in the world. Then ask him, Daryl, what do you think about Starbucks? I was getting to that.

I actually thought it was fascinating and he was enjoying breaking down and explaining those impressions, like showing where, how Sharpton comes from here

and that was for your diaphragm. Well, we were fascinated. We had to get to Starbucks. Very, very important though. Okay. I sent out a text

saying we have the following subjects to cover. All right. Starbucks, no cup tea for black men. I sent out a text saying we have the following subjects to cover. All right. Starbucks. No cup tea for black men. No what? Cup tea.

Instead of country? Cup tea. Oh, no cup tea. Barbara Bush. Where do we go from here? Maybe that Darryl says he knew the Bushes. Maybe he'd want to talk about Barbara Bush. And nobody wrote me back saying we can't do any of those because Daryl's here. So I figured we would go for those particular

topics. And also another topic I want to discuss, Count Dankula. But we don't have to. What's Count Dankula? He's a Scottish YouTuber that taught his pug how to sig Heil on command. Oh my god. Oh, I can't wait. And to react when he says gas

the Jews, the dog reacts in a weird way. Wow, it would be great if this was a video show. But, well, you can watch it on YouTube. I will go on YouTube. He has been convicted in the UK, yes. The dog? Oh, shut up, Ray Allen. That was a good one. I'm going to give it to Ray.

But, no. Count Dankula. Wow. He'd be convicted of what? Hate speech! This is true Last week on our other show We had a Holocaust denier Really? Yeah

A Holocaust denier? Yeah Who? Daryl Hammond? I don't want to say his name Because he's running for office Why not blow him up If he's denying the Holocaust

Am I lying Stephen? I mean What that good looking kid Not a denier That good looking kid with the hair? What office is he running for? You're fucking annoying me A skept, not a denier. That good-looking kid with the hair? What office is he running for? You're fucking annoying me. A skeptic, not a denier?

Yeah. All right. What office is he running for, Noam? He's running against Carolyn Maloney. Well, I'm definitely going to vote for Carolyn Maloney, and I know nothing about her. But the thing is, I kind of liked him. And would I want to live in a world where this guy has to get arrested for this or it's like he can say

whatever he wants you know he was a pretty amiable Holocaust skeptic did he make a good argument of course he didn't make a good argument yeah actually he convinced me this is what I said because he believed in a lot of conspiracy theories I'm like what about the Holocaust he says well the number does keep changing doesn't it Noah

he said when he was a kid, it was 10 million, and now it's down to six. Daryl's coming. All right. Daryl. That's about Barbara Bush, right? Did you ever meet Barbara Bush? We're talking about Barbara Bush.

You did not meet Barbara Bush. Did you... Her husband? You meet her husband? I did. Nice man. I don't want to say too much. Someone might jump in.

No, we were all saying it was a sad thing. I'm not keeping up. No. No, Daryl. You know, I wanted to discuss Starbucks, but if you'd rather not... No, it's fine. You know. I'm good.

Did I meet her? I met the husband, yeah. Yeah. He was a's fine. You know. I'm good. Did I meet her? I met the husband, yeah. Yeah. He was a dapper, elegant fellow. Genial? I'd say genial is a good word, yeah. Did you read the love letter that was online between him and Barbara Bush when he was a young man? No.

Ugh, it's so moving. Did you see it? Yeah. And he writes her just as he's going off to war. And he talks about, I do this because it's my duty to fight the enemy, and I'm hoping that I'll come back, but it's something I have to do. Like, people really thought that way back then. They what?

They really thought that way. Like, a young 19-year-old man, whatever he is. Yeah, his Civil War letters are really wonderful to read. It's just, I can't imagine. When did people stop talking and thinking like that? Vietnam. I would say Vietnam. I would say that the Civil War letters. Assassination? Kennedy assassination? Or Nam? That whole era where people became disillusioned.

King, the two Kennedys and Dr. King were killed. But I would wager that with regard to the Civil War letters, we're getting the good ones. We're getting the top 40 when we hear them. And it's still impressive. Even if two people, I mean, Sullivan Ballou's letter from the Ken Burns series, even if that was the only letter, that would

be incredible that a soldier could write like that. But I suspect most of the letters were not quite so impressive. Less articulate. In that same vein, did George H.W. also write bad letters? Like mean letters? No, I don't think so.

But I think, I just want to make, not to make too much of a point, but it's not so much the eloquence of, his writing was very good. It's the fact of the wholesomeness of the gesture. Like, I'm going to fight for my country and I do it because I think it's the right thing to do. I have to do this.

I couldn't live with myself if I didn't go and fight for my country. My great uncle was very... As opposed to Trump's bone spurs and Clinton abhors the military. What was Clinton's excuse? What was Clinton's excuse? He wrote some letter to somebody. I don't remember the military. What was Clinton's excuse? What was Clinton's excuse? He wrote some letter to somebody.

I don't remember the excuse. But he had some... I think he got a recommendation against it. I can't find it. It's too much. I'll forget it. I know. Ridiculous. I'm trying to do a Clinton with Daryl Hammond sitting here. That would be like me trying to

pick up an NYU freshman with you there. I'm just outgunned. You're an outrage, Dan Adam. And just a time when people expected to go to the military, you know. My great uncle was very depressed that he was denied to be in World War II. Well, yes, in World War II, I mean,

as cowardly as I am, I think in World War II, I mean, as cowardly as I am, I think in World War II, I would have gone because the consequences of not going would be so catastrophic. You're the guy that didn't go. It would be worse. You'd be shamed into it. Shame would be so overwhelming. Bush went because he really thought it was time to go. Ben, we could have been in the band or something.

We would have been in the military band. I would have been in some non-risky position. He joined ROTC, which was apparently a way, Bill Clinton, which was a way to get out of it. And then, I don't want to rehash the whole thing, but he had a plan to avoid it, and it worked. I think that's fair to say. And I think most of the presidents did. Yeah. But Bush, I mean, including Bush Jr., I mean, you know, National Guard, whatever it was, but he didn't go.

But maybe World War II was the last really pure cause that nobody could, you know, have a second thought about. I'll tell you this about World War II. You're, like, so much smarter than me, so I'm going to take your word for it. You are one of the most educated people I've known. All these late night talks around here with you, some drunk, some sober, all great.

Thank you very much. Noam is, and I will, you know, I don't give compliments easily, but yes, you're right. Noam is very well educated, very logical. And articulate. Infuriating oftentimes. Miss Ketchum, welcome to the part of the show where everybody jerks each other off.

So listen, Daryl, let me ask you this. You invited me to SNL one time. Do you remember that? Yes. And it stayed with me forever. Hey, Greg. That it was such a nice gesture. You know, people I think underestimate in life

how a gesture can really stay with somebody. Yes, you're right. And I've had from time to time, I can't account for the ones that stayed with me and the ones that didn't. But I don't know where Daryl invited me to SNL. I always loved you for that. Because I thought it would mean something to you.

And it really did. It really did. So, thought it would mean something to you. And it really did. It really did. So having said that, I want you to walk away from this hour happy with it. And I wonder if this is an okay way to do that. What would you wish that we would ask you about? What's your most fun thing to talk about? What's going on in your life? I feel like our conversations are part of a continuum.

You don't need to ask me about anything. I just was happy to be invited. But what are you into these days? We haven't seen you. What are you thinking about these days?

I have a book that was a New York Times bestseller, and it's going to be a book on tape for Amazon Audible. That's something, right? This is the second book

or the first one? It's the first one. And were you going to do a show, maybe? You were trying to maybe put it into a script? You know what? I think when I lost the Trump part, I lost a book deal, two plays, corporate career.

Wasn't it a Truman Capote show? Are you doing a Truman Capote thing? Well, I got recast once the play was developed. Again, once you lose your TV job, you go back to the clubs. If something terrible should happen to Alec Baldwin I'm not saying I know anybody Would it fall back into your lap That Trump part

My feeling is that They will never let me do it That's astounding to me Yeah I mean I was told that no matter what It won't be me No reason? I didn't get the reason for it, but you know, there's so many, you hear so many stories and explanations.

I don't know exactly, but I was told it would never be me. I'm reluctant to ask you about this because I think it could bounce back on you in a negative way somehow. I don't want to ask you a question and have you say the wrong thing. I don't have any secrets with him. Do you know Lorne well enough to go to him and say, hey, what's up? I'm the guy. How come? I was given a few explanations

and I knew it was final. What are you going to do? Yeah, you're right. What are you really going to do? Yeah, you're right. What are you really going to do? Nothing you can do. But for whatever it's worth, it seems like a boneheaded... I mean, I understand that Alec Baldwin,

because he's a big star, there was a certain thing about it. That's what I was told, that he was a big star. And then there were other... You hear other stories as well, but it's like they were going to do stunt casting. I don't know what stunt casting is.

Oh, like have a rotating... It's a publicity stunt. Yeah. I see. Like what they're doing with that KFC thing. They have rotating Colonel Sanders. Yeah. You did...

Did you do one? Yeah, I did that. You did one. They're missing out, in my opinion, because, although I really do find Alec Baldwin funny, there's a poignancy, there's a depth to when Daryl does a character, which is also equally satisfying.

And they're missing that. You're losing that. The most bizarre thing in the world for me to get to handle was that I have the Daily Beast calling me America's Trump. I'm trending on Twitter all the time. I'm getting the reviews everywhere. It's like being in the middle. You hit a home run at Yankee Stadium, and you're in the middle of your home run.

You're rounding second base, and someone stops you. That'll be enough. No, you're good. Can we have the hat and the cleats in your uniform? No, no, no, no, no. Go in a different direction. That's frustrating. It's awful.

It's very frustrating. There's a nuance. There's little things, all the little things, like the little idiosyncrasies that you pick up on, which as an audience member, you love that. You enjoy that. The 40 seconds you did of Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton brought me so much joy.

Tonight? Yes. 40 seconds, and I was, like, elated. It's amazing. I know you long enough, and I see that this is upsetting, you know, upsets you, and it upsets me, too. It doesn't upset me that much. Well, it should. I'm yelling.

I'm raising my voice to compete with the other voices. No, no. The sound picks up fine. Okay. No, I feel like I just seated you. But the important thing is to send, I don't know if you try to follow this, is to celebrate the positive things in your life and the joys. Do you try to do that every day?

Do you try to remind yourself of that? The important thing is to celebrate the joys of, I don't know, some hokey self-help question. Something that Ray doesn't do himself. You try to celebrate the things that you are grateful for. You try to do that every day. Because sooner or later,

I don't know any other business, but in show business, someone's going to take your shit from you. Sooner or later, something's going to happen and there's going to be a rough patch. Can't be complaining because you got a rough hand, you know. Yeah.

Sometimes they get good hands, too, you know. Right. Yeah. I'll tell you who's gotten good hands the whole night, Mr. Noam Dorman. I mean. Vegas is not going so well, but anyway. But I hear that's going. I think Vegas is going to ultimately do well because God seems to be looking out for Noam Dorman.

And there's no reason for it. You know what, Dan? Let me tell you something. I think you're right. And I actually have a theory that I can handle, like, if I lose in Vegas, God knows I can handle it. But Liz or George or one of the people who's also involved, they did something really bad. And this is the only way God can get to them. And I think that God is punishing

like, he's going to take it all from Liz and he says, Tormund will be fine. That's what I think. So it's really, I'm suffering for what somebody else must have done. Anyway, is Daryl doing a set by the way? Daryl? Are you doing a time tonight? He can if he wants.

He's always welcome. No, I'm asking if he is. I want to go watch. I wasn't asked. Darryl, come on now. Do you want to go on? Do you see that, Darryl? I would love it if you could have said. Even though I don't own the club, but I'd love it. I just want to have a cigarette and

I want to pee. Liz, can you get the man a cigarette and open your mouth? She wants to go on too. She opens for Darryl. Liz, take one for the team. If you can get Daryl to... Liz will... Daryl, can I...

Liz knows how to persuade a man. Can I just end with my apologies? Insecure. This is where we end every show, Daryl. No, we usually end... No, we usually don't. Obviously, this comes from a place of insecurity. And you were bleeding.

I interrupted you. I was bleeding, but that's of no real consequence. Are you still bleeding? You're bleeding now? I was a Band-Aid. I may well be bleeding under the Band-Aid. But in any case, yes, I was out of line, interrupted. Not only out of line, but just not doing my job well as the co-host of this show.

And I apologize. If you've read my book, you know that I suck in just about every way. I'm bad at about everything. I did read the book. No, don't worry. No worries, man. Thank you, Darryl. Darryl's been a, since I don't know when I met you, might have been 20 years ago. Always been very nice to me.

So nice. Always told me I was... Every comic. Wait a minute. He told you you were good too, though. Yeah. Maybe he lied. He is damn good.

But always been very complimentary and very encouraging. So I do appreciate that. I won't forget you, Daryl, if I ever... I won't forget you either. ...in my will if there's ever... I don't have one.

It's all in... No pain could be deep. Ladies and gentlemen... Passed by in testacy. Special thanks to Daryl Hammond. Thank you very much, everybody. Good night. Our next comedian opens up on the road for Daryl Hammond

from New York City. Get up for Kendall Ketchum, everybody. Originally from Mississippi. I'm a lesbian, so everybody has a lot of questions. Back in Mississippi, they talk about that gay agenda. Everybody on Fox News talks about the gay agenda. They're pushing that gay agenda. My girlfriend's parents are from Georgia. They're always like, we stopped watching that Grey's Anatomy because they're pushing that gay agenda. I've been gay my whole life.

I've never seen a copy of the gay agenda. Has anybody seen a copy of this damn agenda? Who writes it? Is it Anderson Cooper? Like, I would read it if it were Anderson Cooper. It was fun moving here, though, because nobody cared. It was just really confusing because I feel like all the girls, like straight girls, called their friends, their just platonic friends, girlfriends.

Listen, it freaked me out when I first moved here. It really confused me. All these gorgeous, amazing girls were like calling you know, like I'm going to dinner with my girlfriend. Going to the movies with my girlfriend. I called my mom back home in Mississippi. I was like, holy shit, I've hit the mother load. I was like, no mama,

listen, Fox News was right. The gay agenda is alive and well and it's right here in New York City.