The Comedy Cellar: Live from the Table - Down with Tech with Nathan Macintosh

Episode Date: May 17, 2024

Nathan Macintosh is a stand up comedian, writer and actor based in New York, originally from Nova Scotia. He joins Dan Naturman and Periel Aschenbrand to discuss the horrors of social media, the anxiety of stand up comedy, Jordan Peterson and all things Canada.

This is Live from the Table, the official podcast of the world-famous comedy seller coming at you on SiriusXM 99. Raw dog, baby. Also available as a podcast. Not raw dog. I'm sorry. Let me start that again. Wait.

No, it is a different name now, right? It's raw comedy. It's raw comedy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did I say raw dog? Yeah. You did. Twice.

Woof. All right. This is Live from the Table, the official podcast of the world famous comedy seller coming at you on sirius xm 99 raw comedy also available as a podcast wherever you get your podcast and we are on youtube for a multimedia experience this is dan natterman sitting in the captain's chair today why because noam dorman is out of town i don't know where he is but he's not here so uh obviously we're not going to discuss matters of great political

import, because when I'm in charge, that's not what happens. We're here with Periel Ashenbrand. Hello. And with Nathan McIntosh. Nathan McIntosh, yes. Thanks so much for having me. And I'm only here to talk about the big issues.

Okay, well, if the big issues are your special, my album taping, and me opening for Howie Mandel, maybe Jimmy Carr on Fallon, these are some of the issues that I wanted to discuss. If you consider those big issues, then indeed we are in accord. Yes. Those are some of the big issues. The first one, the special, it's called Down With Tech.

Please check it out. It is an hour of anti-big tech stuff. Now, what's your beef with big tech? I mean, Dan, what's not to have a beef about? These people are criminals. Mark Zuckerberg should be hit in the face with a stick. Elon Musk should be buried alive. These people are truly terrible, awful people.

Sean Altman, hit with a full cappuccino in the eyes. They may be awful people. Sean Altman, hit with a full cappuccino in the eyes. There may be awful people. It's often been said that good men are seldom... Great men are seldom good men, it's often been said. Who said that? I don't know, but it's often been said. I heard it on Twitter. Or I read it on Twitter.

But in any case, yes, sometimes people do great things, but they're not good people. So, you know, for example, Spotify, I don't know if that guy's a good person, the guy who founded Spotify or not, but he's allowed us to listen to any song ever recorded for $10 a month. Yep. So is that, in your mind, a bad thing? He's not a person I'm necessarily upset with

because I guess you can't fight on Spotify. Spotify doesn't change your chemical in your brain. You know what I mean? It doesn't change your makeup, make you want to choke somebody. Make sense? When you're on Spotify, you're not like, oh, I'd love to kill my aunt for her opinions about ABBA.

You're just allowed to be on Spotify and listen to things. I can completely see why musicians, artists, whatever, would be mad at that guy. I completely understand that. Yeah, I don't... Right. Although... Why? Do they not make money? They do make money. They don't make as much money

as they made in the go-go years when you would pay $15 in the 80s for a CD, which is like $45 today, and maybe there'd be one or two good songs on the album. So they don't make that kind of money, but they make more than they made during the worst days when there was like Napster and LimeWire and these places where people were just stealing music.

Right. So, and then iTunes came along, and then Spotify came along. 0.003. Cents. Cents. Well, if you're Taylor Swift, that adds up. If you're not Taylor Swift, it doesn't add up.

Wait a second. So on average, Spotify pays artists between 0.003 and 0.005 per stream. This is roughly... Four cents per 10 streams. So somebody has to listen to your song a thousand times for you to make $4 as an artist? Which I just found out means that Down With Tech on Spotify has made $4. I believe it's been, nobody's listened to it on Spotify, but if these numbers are correct, I've made $4. That might be bad news for the big dogs that used to make bazillions of dollars back in the era where you'd buy CDs.

But smaller artists, perhaps, that couldn't get into the record stores in those days, maybe, I don't know. I really don't know. Now you don't need those big record labels. But Nathan, if he prefers, isn't mad at Spotify. He's mad at... No, that guy necessarily, no. He's Dutch or something? Yeah, I think he's Swedish.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, I don't have an issue with him directly, but Musk, Zuckerberg, Steve Jobs, Sam Martin. Well, what's wrong with Musk? Now, because of Twitter? You have no beef with Tesla. It's Twitter is your beef. Tesla can fuck off.

No, Tesla can get fucked. Yeah. We don't need a fucking, you know, glass ceiling. The Cybertruck, I do think- I saw one, by the way, the other day. I did too. It was kind of cool. You saw it here?

I forgot where I saw it. I forgot where I saw it, but it was cool. I was like, oh shit, this is kind of cool. Really? And I thought, it looks stupid online, but then when I saw it in person, I'm like, you know what? That looks pretty cool. I think the reverse, for me, when I saw it online, you kind of go, yeah, all right, RoboCop.

I think I saw it in, I don't know, Stanford, Connecticut, maybe? That's where I grew up. I saw it in Austin, the home of the Cybertruck. Does he have a home there? I don't know. You ever seen the Cybertruck, Perrielle? I didn't mean to ask that. In person.

No, no, the Cybertruck? The Cybertruck. That's what I'm looking up. Cybertruck? It looks like something that would have, you know, that Kyle Reese would have driven in to fight a Terminator. Yes, it does. But when you see it in person,

it looks like they just put a thing over a car. And you know this thing can't get rained on? I really think that he made this as a joke. I'm not kidding. I don't think this is a real car. I know it exists. I understand it's a, it's out there.

I think he made this as a goof too. Cause he, people are like, Oh, that's the future man. He wants to build a tunnel from wherever to wherever. I think he's like, Oh yeah.

You think this is a, this is a troll. This is a full troll on planet earth. Cause when you see that in life, that is a piece of shit. What the fuck are you going to do with that? I liked it when I saw it. To do what? What do you want to do with it?

I don't know what I want to do with it. I thought it looked cool. Look cool where? To who? You have to drive the same speed as everybody else? It's ridiculous. Come on. It's ridiculous.

This is better. That's better. Let the record show that's Homer Simpson's design for a car. I guess he was working for his long-lost brother or something that had a car company. I think. That I don't remember. But anyway, your main beef with Musk is Twitter, not Tesla.

No, no. Twitter I don't necessarily care about. I dislike any of the people that we've heralded as like, oh, they have money and they have thoughts, so ergo they're the best. It's like if people in Superman looked at Lex Luthor as some kind of hero. He's in that realm.

Did Luthor have money? Yes. I guess he did. He must have. How do you make his money? I guess just thieving. That I don't know. Yeah, maybe just thieving.

Which you could argue here. Wait, but I thought the thing that you didn't like was social media. Social media, I'm not a fan of. But could argue here. Wait, but I thought the thing that you didn't like was social media. Social media, I'm not a fan of. But Twitter is horrible. Sure, yeah. I'm not for Twitter, but I'm saying before he bought it, I wasn't a Musk man. I would never have been like.

You don't like that because they're rich, we think they have something to say and we should listen to them. I also don't think he's like as, look, I'm not saying I'm a smart person. I don't think he's as smart as people say that he is. He has basically said with his darty little weird eyes, hey I'm going to build a tunnel from LA to New York and people go whoa. Did he say that? You mean the Hyperloop? Yes. There's no

that is not a thing. We're not going to Mars. This fucking prick piece of shit. We're not I would agree with you we're not going to Mars. We're also not getting a tunnel from LA to New York. No we're not. Well I'm not ruling out Hyperloop at some point in the future. I'm ruling out going to Mars

at least for another two centuries, if not until our species is extinct. Yeah. But the car is good, from all accounts. You don't like the car. The car, only in the sense that, like, there's a lot of people that think

that he, like, invented the electric vehicle. Okay, he did not. He did not it was it was we could have had this thing in 2000 but oil companies were like fuck that i don't know about that because the battery technology has made some great strides uh particularly the the uh lithium-ion battery which is max maybe can look this up but the lithium-ion battery was a great leap forward in battery technology. That's relatively recent, and scaling it up to power an automobile I don't think could have been necessarily done in the 80s. Maybe, I don't know.

In the... Well, I'm talking about 2000, not 80s. 80s would have needed like fucking 67 AA batteries or those D-cells. Well, I don't think it was... I don't think oil companies... I don't believe that the oil companies are responsible for the lack of progress

in electric cars. That was a, there was a, okay, there was a, but either way, he's not the inventor of these things. I don't think he's, there he is. Can you imagine? I would actually love that. That would be a great episode. That would be, would probably go viral. One of the most fantastic things that's ever happened to anybody.

Imagine I change my whole tune. I love you. I'll set it for Kyle Dunnigan doing an impression of Elon Musk. The impressions of him are pretty good. By him, Bezos, those guys. What about Bezos, though? Bezos, Amazon, I think, is a net negative for

everything. And he, again, I don't know why we've taken these tech people and made them like models. Well, he's not a model, but Amazon is, I think, a good thing. Even though it's rendered many stores, it's bankrupted a lot of people, I guess, but that's what always happens when technology moves forward.

Well, what about the people who work like 19 hours straight and aren't allowed to go to the bathroom? Well, I'm a category against that. Fuck them. That, what about the people who work like 19 hours straight and aren't allowed to go to the bathroom? Well, I'm a category against that. Fuck them. That's what I say. I'm now speaking from the thing of Bezos.

Go to Amazon. Buy a bigger bladder. I will have it to you in one hour. And then you never need to go to the bathroom again during one of your 19 to 21 hour shifts.

Is that really true though? Is that... People piss in bottles? For sure. That they have to wear like diapers and stuff because they're not... There's is that, people piss in bottles? For sure. That they have to wear like diapers and stuff because they're not,

there's fucking Uber drivers that piss in goddamn bottles and shit and that's on their own accord, you know what I mean? They can make their own schedule. That's a, that would be a for sure thing

that's happening to Amazon drivers and shit. Also, just the idea that like, you see that picture of him on like a tractor? He's like a hot man now in society

because he made, he tried to sell, well he sold us books and then he's like, what if I sold you every single thing? You never need to leave your house again. Now he's like a hot man now in society because he made he tried to sell it. Well, he sold us books. And then he's like, what if I sold you every single thing? You never need to leave your house again. Now he's on a tractor with his. Well, I bought I bought a on Amazon because one does these one buys ridiculous things on Amazon. A projector that projects the northern lights onto my ceiling and stars. And is that for like a mobile? That seems. No, it just projects like a star? that seems like no it just projects

like a star for children no no I look at that the third picture there oh my god get fucked pal that's like a Marlboro ad

that's like a I'm a Stetson man with a Stetson plan I want to address this notion that this is for children there's nothing childish about it

when I'm lying there in my race car bed and looking at these stars there's nothing. Eating gumdrops. But what is that for? Honestly, is that just- Because I saw it online and all I had to do was click a button and I get it and it was easy and I had a-

Dan, I'm not attacking you. I love that you have it. I'm saying, what is the- And then I took it into my bathroom and now that is a next level shit because with the steam, when the beams of light go through the steam, you see it looks like a laser. And then, of course, I had to buy a speaker for my bathroom because you can't have a laser light show without music. What is going on in your apartment?

What song do you have constantly playing? No, I just got the speaker today. What's that song? What's the one that they have at air shows all the time? I think Pink Floyd would be, I don't know, Rock You Like a Hurricane? Yes, that's exactly it. No, this is for laser. We need Pink Floyd for that.'t know, Rocky Like a Hurricane? Yes, that's exactly it. No, this is for laser.

We need Pink Floyd for that. Who sings Rocky Like a Hurricane? That's the Scorpion. Thank you, Jesus Christ. Anyway. That's a pretty good shower. You got,

here I am, and there's just the lights. For your shower, maybe, but not for my shower. My shower was Pink Floyd. That's a good one. Especially because you got laser,

you're in a psychedelic mood. Wait, what is going on in your bathroom? Is this like you're going to take a shower? Yeah, and then I take the projector in the bathroom, and I put it on the floor, I angle it at like a 45-degree angle, close the lights, turn the projector on, start the music. And shower in the northern lights. And shower in the northern lights.

And I've decided that my goal in life is to have a planetarium with a hot tub at home. All of these things can be purchased on Amazon. And they'll have them to you in 68 seconds. My only question was, and I'm not asking you why you bought it. I'm saying, is the purpose of the Northern Light projector solely to project? To look at it, and it's cool. Okay. For like eight-year-olds.

I said that earlier and he was like, he fought me. He said, no dice. This is for adult men who shower to pick boys. You know what? 8-year-olds know how to have a good time. But nobody's disputing that fact. You know, 8-year-olds are always having fun. I mean, I'll buy a beanbag chair too. If you don't. I haven't said that.

A lava lamp? I might, yeah. I wouldn't rule that out either. I haven't said a beanbag chair in a long haven't. If you don't. I haven't. If you keep. A lava lamp? I might. Yeah. I wouldn't rule that out either. I haven't sat in a beanbag chair in a long time. They were a party. Now wait a second.

I have a question though. Do you shop? No. On Amazon? No I don't. Okay. Where are you going to get the Northern Lights projector?

I would buy it from the northernlights.com people and wait longer to fucking get it. And pay more? Sure. Every. Maybe once a year I'll buy something on Amazon because it's like, whatever. I need this fucking thing right fucking now.

But mostly what I buy is books. But there's shit you can't really find anywhere else. I guess you can always find it somewhere else. I mean, you can go to the Natural History Museum and buy that Northern Lights thing. Like, I needed some stuff. Go to a playground. It's a child.

Where does it get yours? I needed some stuff to thread a cable around my door frame because the modem, I put the modem in the closet, but I had to plug

the modem in and the nearest outlet was on the other side of the wall, so I needed those things. So I just Googled a wire hooked around the door

and boom, it pops up and maybe I could have gotten it somewhere else. Sure, you know, like a wire, you know, hooked around the door and boom, it pops up. And maybe I could have gotten it somewhere else. Sure. You could have gone to Home Depot. B&H probably has that. Walmart. But either way, it's more work to do it. But I am I'm at a stage in my life I'm willing to and able to do the extra work to not give money to this crooked eyed cocksucker and let him buy another $70 million dollar job. Let me investigate a little bit more in terms of the exploitation that you speak about. And if what you're saying is true, and perhaps I'll do likewise and order direct from the original manufacturer. You might be onto something.

I'm not fighting you on this. I mean, he's for sure right. I never thought about it that way. Well, I mean, of course he's right that we're... But I don't know that these other companies aren't exploiting people, too. Well, that's a different question. I mean, the other thing that strikes me as interesting is that you're down with tech

seems to be doing very well on said platform of Instagram. And people message me about that. They're like, isn't it odd? And I'm like, yeah, man, I also have strapped it to carrier pigeons who are bringing it to you as well. I'm not

pretending that we don't live here, but I am attacking it because it's just like, a lot of it's so bullshit and we just have to walk around and pretend that everything that comes to us is great because the four wizards told us so. Like, we just keep making these people out to be heroes.

Well, I don't make them out to be. Not you. I'm not saying you. Well, I think many people's personal opinion is these people aren't heroes, but they have some good products that I use. Okay. You know what? To that point, sorry to cut you off.

Just to add to your point, you might be 100% right. We don't make them heroes. Somebody is, though. Somebody put that fucking man's picture on the goddamn cover of something. Somebody has a cool picture of Zuckerberg when he's like— Well, serial killers get letters in jail saying, you know, I want to have your baby. I mean, what can I tell you? If you're famous, someone's going to worship you.

I would say, in all seriousness, Mark Zuckerberg is worse than these serial killers combined. Line him up. He's done more damage to society than serial killers. Well, maybe. You know,

why has he done damage to society? Brains. Our brains are fucked. Every one of us is immeasurably changed because of one idiot in a hoodie who's now building a goddamn bunker. Well, mean you're you know that we had a guest on jonathan hate who's a or height hate height height uh he's a psychologist and he he thinks that social media has been very damaging for young people and he blames the uh the explosion

of neuroses and psychological distress among young people on social media. That doesn't mean social media is bad if it can be, if we have parents that are. Parents that what? Are shaking their ass on the same goddamn platform? Everybody's fucked. I'm not everybody. There's aunts out there that are willing to eat people because of things they read online.

We're fucked. Well, look, I think social media has a good side to it. And? Candy crush numbers with your friends. No, it's just people that are shy, people that feel alone, isolated, might be able to find like-minded people on social media. Hopefully those like-minded people aren't like-minded like we're going to blow up a building in Oklahoma City type stuff, but a gay kid that lives in Iowa

goes online, goes on social media and finds other people, and he's all of a sudden not so isolated and alone that he might otherwise be. Somebody who wants to put blood and light on their bathroom ceiling. I've learned stuff. I've learned stuff on social media, a lot of

debates. I follow Noam on Twitter and he's very interesting. He posts a lot of, I've learned stuff. I've learned stuff on social media, a lot of debates. I follow Noam on Twitter and he's very interesting. He posts a lot of interesting stuff. I don't mean to compliment him, which I prefer to insult him, but it is true. Okay, but there is something intentionally built in to social media, which is meant by design to be divisive and corrosive in that algorithm, and it is ruining people's brains.

I mean, that is a material fact. I don't know if it's a material fact that it's ruining people's brains. It is, children, it is. Well, Jonathan Haidt, in any case, he didn't say it's ruined people's brains, but he did say it has some deleterious, if you will, since Noam's not here, I'll use big words, effects on psychology. I would like to, if I could steer the conversation to

issue two, my taping that I did on when did I do it? On Mother's Day, Sunday. It was Mother's Day. They gave me the worst possible time slot. Mother's Day, 5 p.m. Mother's Day. Oh, I was Mother's Day. They gave me the worst possible time slot.

Mother's Day, 5 p.m. Mother's Day. Oh, I was going to guess 4 p.m. would be the worst. 5 is pretty rough. I think, well, maybe 4 a.m. would be worse. But of the time slots... 4 p.m. is what I meant. But 5 p.m. on a Mother's Day is... On a Mother's Day was bad.

Absolutely. And I did it at the Fat Black Pussycat... Fat Black Pussycat... You know what I mean. The Fat Black Pussycat Lounge. You nailed it both times with that. All three times, you said it perfectly. Okay. did it the fat black pussycat the fat black pussycat you know what i mean the fat black pussycat lounge you nailed it both times with it all three times you said it perfectly okay um and it's great so i just taped it it's not for like i could they call it an album tape it's not an album it's just a bunch of shit that i'm taping to so they can play on Sirius, which, by the way, does pay decently, you know, and and I was and my anxiety was off the chain.

I I don't know why. I think it was a combination of factors, but I can't necessarily quite. I don't really know why I was so anxious. It was a combination of factors. Number one, I wanted to do a good job. Number two, a couple of people that I know personally told me they were coming, and I didn't want it to be empty, and I look like an idiot because I can't fill up an 80-seat lounge, and I didn't want to do a bad job in front of them. And it was only

40 people showed up, but in the lounge, it doesn't look so horrible. And the other thing is, so they give away these, you know, just to let the audience know, comics do these you know just to let the audience know uh comics do these you know one person the comedy cell is usually an mc in four or five comics but sometimes they'll let a comic for example on 5 p.m on mother's day they'll let him do a whole hour and he's the whole show but a lot of people that come to these shows are only coming because they went on the

website and all the other shows were sold out. That's not true. Of course it's true. No, of course it's not true. We've had this conversation before. Nobody is going to go to see you do an hour if they're not actually excited to see Dan Adler. They know the comedy seller has a name. They know the comedy seller is known for quality.

And they figure, okay, this Dan Adler guy is probably pretty good. And all the other shows are sold out. Or they're like, oh, look, it's Dan Aderman guy is probably pretty good and all the other shows are sold out. Or they're like, oh, look, it's Dan Aderman. No, no one's saying that. Comedians are like,

one has to be realistic about one's... Or realistic or like so pessimistic. Nathan, agree or disagree? I would say your negative opinion of yourself

is directly correlated to how much time you spend on social media to bring it back to issue one. You need to get off of it. directly correlated to how much time you spend on social media. To bring it back to issue one. You need to get off of it. You need to shut it down. Turn your phone off. And also, I don't disagree with you that there are some positives to social media, but there's a lot more negatives.

And yes, I also, sorry, to answer your question, I do think you're right about what you just said. In some instances. Some people do. Not everybody by any stretch. So I'm standing there watching people come in, and I see these two black women coming, and I'm saying, you better put them near the door,

because they're not going to last for a whole hour of Dan Natterman. But they did. I think that's ridiculous. I think that's just fucking ridiculous. So many things happened in that sentence. You know what I mean? So many things happened in that one sentence. But they're not Dan Aderman fans.

Why can't they be Dan Aderman fans? I don't see it. Why are you... You know, if I see a 60-year-old Jewish man, I'm like, he's here for me. He could be the one that hates you the most. 100%. He could be the guy that gets up and goes,

I've heard Dan Aderman my whole fucking life. My family is Dan Aderman. Yeah, but those guys tend to like me Okay but so did this couple that you're talking about They were in a couple there's two women Well how do you know they were in a couple Either way so there's two people They came in and they watched the whole show

They probably loved you They weren't next to the door They're not a maniac Maybe they just didn't want to leave It's ridiculous They were in the back and and I think they were. Anyway, it went well. Of course it went well.

Why wouldn't it have gone well? It went well. And I'm doing another one on the 20th of May at 10.30 p.m. The same stuff or different stuff? Mostly the same, because some of the stuff didn't hit, and so I want to just redo those. And then there's some jokes that I forgot to do. And you'd like whatever posts you're using to promote it

to not advertise to black people. That's what you're saying here and now. No, no. They advertise to everybody. But I know who comes up to me after the show. No, that's really not true. But, you know, I guess... If you listen to this podcast and you're black, stay away from Dan Aderman.

He doesn't feel that you will like his comedy. Which is absurd. I mean, it's such an insane thing to say. But I get what we comedians have fucking weird neurotic things. Only people who are exactly like me are going to think that I'm funny. That's what,

I mean, that's essentially what you're saying. Um, that's, yeah, that's sort of what I was saying,

but it's obviously, I know intellectually it's not true, but when you put me in a heightened state of anxiety and I know that people are,

that at least some number of people are only here because they couldn't get into any of the other shows. But you've made that up. That's where my, no, that is true. That part is true.

That part is true. I mean, maybe on some, That part is true. Like maybe, I would say at least, at least half of the, there were people I knew personally that came and then I would say at least half of the remainder,

which wasn't many, it was only 40 people or so total, was only there because it's like, okay, the comedy stuff is all sold out. And this guy, Dan Natterman, it was only 40 people or so total, was only there because it's like, okay, the comedy store is all sold out, and this guy, Dan Natterman, he's at the comedy store. How bad could he be? And we got nothing to do. Okay, so I think that the way that you're looking

at this is so exhausting because first of all, 40 people 5 o'clock on a Mother's Day is frankly not that fucking bad. I'd say it's pretty good. You ever work at a restaurant on Mother's Day is frankly not that fucking bad. I'd say it's pretty good. You ever work at a restaurant on Mother's Day? No.

Buddy, the worst. The worst. The worst. It's crowded, though. Super crowded. It's complete insanity. At 5 p.m. on a Mother's Day? Do you know how many restaurants wished they'd had 40 people that didn't want to be there?

They would have loved that. You had arguably probably the best crowd in the city on 5 p.m. At 5 p.m. I'm serious. Well, but there aren't too many shows at 5 p.m. I'm not talking shows. I'm talking crowds. Every restaurant in the city, I bet, was packed.

5 p.m. Mother's Day. Awful. Yeah, so people who went to see you were so excited to see comedy. Right, but not necessarily so excited to see me. But then the people who were there to see you who were actually you knew, who were super excited to see you personally,

that was also stressing you out. Yes. Dan, there was servers on Sunday. I was stressed out that I wouldn't do a good job and people from high school would think I'm a loser. Even though you're recording an album for Sirius at the best comedy club in arguably the world. You're forgetting that there was two black women there.

That cannot happen on Dan Adlerman's watch. Every server in this city had a worse time than you. Every single one. They made more money. They all had a worse time. A lot of people have a worse time than me. People that are. They made more money. They all had a worse time. A lot of people have a worse time than me. People that are working for Amazon that have to pee in a jar, for example. We're back to topic one.

But I don't... The human nature is not to look at the people that have it worse than you. It's look at the people that have it better than you. This is Dan's famous line. It's like being the best... No, but that's not relevant. What is this line? But that's not relevant. What is this line?

But that's not relevant to the discussion. It is the discussion. No, it is not. Okay. Well, somebody did. I do this too. Even if something's going well, I'm like, yes, but somebody, there's a comedian in Latvia who I don't know his name.

He's selling out an arena right now. Maybe a stadium. He's doing a soccer stadium in front of 75 000 hot latvian women all with their tits out you know what i mean so what i did here is useless i i get what you're saying i do the same thing okay somewhere around the world there's somebody else there's a man being well i'm not violently blown while i got some money but like am i being supremely sucked by a hot croian model? No. Well, in my defense, once the show was going well, these thoughts sort of evaporated.

Oh, that's good. And then after the show, I felt good about myself. Did it last? No, but two or three hours of self-esteem isn't bad. I'm actually very glad to hear you say that it evaporated for a little while. Because my other question is, it question is these people from high school who are going to think that you are a quote unquote loser, what the fuck do they do? What is their career?

Doctors, lawyers. Normal things. Are they doctors, lawyers? Brain surgeon. My friends from high school, one's a big financial guy on Wall Street. One's an architect.

One's a doctor in the Midwest. One's an art professor. I mean, they're on a normal job. And don't you think, like, oh, my God, it's so cool that Dan's a comic. I don't know what they're thinking. Dan, can I ask you a question? At what minute did you stop the show and ask these two black women to leave? 12, 18?

No, I didn't ask them. Guys, I can't go on. Get the fuck out of here. I don't have any racist jokes, but I do have a couple jokes that have the word black in them. Uh-oh. And I was a little self-conscious, but it went fine. You shouldn't be. And I'm not, now, this is not me trying to be a weirdo.

Yeah. I've seen a lot of things that you do. You don't, you're not attacking anybody. Right. And I say that in a good way. You don't need to worry about the thing that you're worried about right now. Okay. I'm serious.

All right, okay. He doesn't need to worry about the thing that you're worried about right now. I'm serious. All right. Okay. He doesn't believe me, but I do believe you. Or you don't need to worry about any of the things that you're worrying about. But that's not fun. If you take all the worrying out of comedy, there's about 10% left. It's writing, saying the things. So where are you at?

What headspace are you in these days? Are you feeling good about Nathan McIntosh? Well, like I said, sometimes I'm doing okay, and then there's this fucking Latvian comedian, and he sells out these stadiums, and it's just tits. Is there really a Latvian comedian? I don't know, but there has to be. Well, there's plenty of American comedians

that we know personally that are selling out stadiums, or that are selling out arenas anyway. But arenas is bullshit. That's not a stadium full of tits. I'm talking, you know, stadiums. 60,000 screaming vaginas. Does it really get under your skin that people are selling at large venues? I wake up sometimes.

Like I said, same as you. I wake up sometimes and I have a sip of coffee and I'm like, I'm doing okay. And then you just take half a second, right? You're not vigilant and something just creeps in your brain and you're like, everybody's fucking better than me. The doctors, the lawyers, the architects. You know there's an architect in Germany who sells out stadiums.

Does he? He does the blueprints on a stage in front of 60,000 screaming German women. I would imagine that social media is the reason. He's probably like an influencer, an architectural influencer. This is not a thing. Is that true?

You made that up. Look, Jordan Peterson. He made that up. Did you make that up? Yeah, I did. I apologize. Because Jordan Peterson sold out, I think, Radio City. He's not a comic.

He's not a performer. He's just talking. Yeah. You guys haven't had, he's never been in here. No. I told you, I saw him around the corner. Yeah, at the Fabulous Pussycat. He was just talking. Yeah. You guys haven't had... He's never been in here, right? No. I told you. I saw him around the corner. Yeah, at the Fat My Pussy game. He was at the bar. I'm sure

he would do the show. He was watching the show. So I go in. I'm from Canada. Anyways, he comes out and he's very gaunt. I'm not trying to attack him. No, I've seen him. He's a skeleton. He's a gaunt man. It looks like his suit is weighing him down. He only eats meat. He's on an all-meat diet. Is that true?

Yes. Yeah, he's a carnivore diet. He eats meat and commenters on Twitter. He was very gaunt, and I just went, it was like seeing the Loch Ness Monster or something. Not because I think he's some kind of evil man, just because you've seen him everywhere online, and then he's just, you know what I mean?

He's in your face. I went, whoa! And he looked at me, and I just, I didn't know what to say i go i'm from canada and he came over and he took my hand like this like um right like a like a grandparent yeah yeah and he just sort of like did that did he say anything and then walked out i said you know what i said to him i said i go you because he's holding my hand like this and we're just kind of looking at each other. And I could feel the meat coursing through his veins. And I said, you say some things that probably should be said. And he just went.

He just nodded his head. Yeah, I think he just kind of tapped me like that, which was like a thank you in Canadian. No, I was going to say in grandmother. And I'm not trying to attack him, but you know what I mean? Do you think, my thought is about Jordan Peterson is that without that goofball accent, he would not be famous. It's so funny that you think it's a goofball accent. Well, whatever it is. He's from Alberta. But he's not from, it's not like, he's not even from the city.

This guy is from some swamp. Swamp. It's definitely a pond, for sure. And it would definitely be frozen. He's from an ice fishing hut, if anything. Yeah, that's a backwoodsy accent. Yeah, he's from outside. I think he's from outside Edmonton somewhere.

But I don't know exactly where he's from. He's definitely from Alberta. But it's funny. He doesn't... I hear him, and I just hear... You think a normal dude? I think Alberta. I think he's...

Canada has a bunch of different fucking voices. Accents? But his accent is turbocharged. I mean, I've known Canadians, but this guy's... Yeah, Fairview. Yes, it's a smaller... Max, you're killing it today. That accent is not...

I mean, you don't talk like that. I'm from the complete opposite end of the country. Can you tell where people are from in Canada from their accent? Yeah. Sometimes. Most times. Alberta for sure. Toronto for sure. Really? Yeah. The

Maritimes for sure where I'm from. Newfoundland for sure. What does Newfoundland sound like? It's a whole thing. They almost sound Irish. They're like removed from, like they're so far away. Yeah. Is it an island? Yeah, I guess.

Yes, yeah. It's so huge, though. But yeah, it's an island. But do you agree with me that Jordan Peterson, without that accent, would not be Jordan Peterson? I don't know that I agree that that's the one thing that's put him over the top. See, I think that, and the fact he's kind of an attractive gentleman and the accent, I think, especially in this era, you know, of sound bites, it really is distinct. He's also a very smart person who dresses well.

That has always worked in society. Okay, so the dressing well you do think is a factor. So why not come with me? Why not come with me all the way? Oh, the accent thing? And just, you know, be totally on board with my... I hear him as a Canadian, but I don't hear it as a goofy... There are way goofier Canadian accents than that.

Like Bob and Doug McKenzie. Those people aren't even real. I know, but that's a heightened... When I hear you describe Jordan, that's what I hear you... It's goofy enough and it's distinctive enough, especially for people that aren't from that area, that I think it really is distinctive.

And I do think it played a big role, because we'll never know. We can't know. We can't know what would have happened if he just talked like a regular person. I always ask people when they're in a Jordan Peterson, why? What's that? I always ask people when they're in a Jordan Peterson, why? Well, they don't necessarily know why. No, they know.

But they might not know. I know what makes Jordan Peterson, why? Well, they don't necessarily know why. No, they know. But they might not know. I know what makes me hard, right? These people, Jordan Peterson makes them hard, so they know the things about him that make them hard. Do you see what I'm saying? Yeah. But I don't think they would necessarily perceive if the accent is playing a role in how they...

You know, when somebody speaks about Dr. King, if Dr. King was like, I have a dream. Martin Luther King? Martin Luther King. If King was like, I have a dream. Martin Luther King? Martin Luther King. If he talked like, I have a dream, would he be Martin Luther King? What if he was like a nerdy Jew? What if it was Woody Allen? Yeah.

Say, I have a dream. It's a large breast. No. My God. What is happening? If he had that accent, nobody would care what he had to say. Maybe. It's the music.

Don't you get it? It's not the lyrics. I hear what you're saying. I just don't think that Jordan Peterson's accent is that goofy of a thing. Call it goofy, call it distinctive. There's a musicality to it. Sure. I think Dave Chappelle, to get it into back into comedy i think he has a

vocal quality that is riveting and i don't think that that material coming out of some other voice would have the same impact i think this is just me this is is me now. I feel specifically on Dave. Dave is more cigarette now than man. Okay. It's like a cigarette talking. Yes. Which has a distinctive voice. Okay.

You know what I mean? Right. We're just having a good time here, Dan. Yeah, I know. Wait, but the thing that's, I don't understand why you think that if you can recognize that as a quality that other people can't look at it and say, oh, he has this like mellifluous voice or whatever. And that's something that contributes.

Well, because I'm coming from outside the Jordan Peterson orbit. I'm not a Jordan Peterson-ophile. I mean, yeah, some of the stuff he says, as you pointed out, Nathan, is, I think, interesting and good. Sure. But I can view it from the outside. People that are inside, in his world,

in his sway, might not perceive it. I think it's the suits. It's probably a little bit of the voice. I also think, I don't know if you know this, when people go to his shows, he has a t-shirt cannon. No, he doesn't. He does. He's on stage with a t-shirt cannon. There's also women on either side.

They're dancing to jock jams, and he's shooting those lobster t-shirts into the... He's pointing to the rafters. Why lobster t-shirts? He has a whole thing about lobsters. It's a whole deal you'd have to get into. And I only know about it from hearing about it. I'm also not a Jordan Petersonophile or whatever you said.

Yeah, that's what I said. I know the guy exists. I've not met him, but I've taught, you know what I mean? Well, you did meet him. I know he's a real human being on the surface. You also met, if I may bring it up, it may be a sore point, you also met, what's that singer from Canada? Anne Murray.

I didn't meet Anne Murray. I met Anne Murray's niece. You met Anne Murray's niece. Now, just a little background. Anne Murray, I'm proud to say, I enjoy her music. She's easy listening to the hilt. She's a Canadian. Nova Scotian hero.

Spring Hill, Nova Scotian treasure Songbird What are her famous songs? Not Songbird Isn't that A Woman in Love I'm Just Another Woman in Love Uh huh

I want to You Needed Me Here's what happened But anyway In this song She's a hero in Nova Scotia Hero She's a Canadian hero

But definitely in fucking When you pass... I mean, I've been on the goddamn 102 Highway a billion times going from Halifax to Miramichi. To who? Where I'm from in Halifax to where my whole family's from. I lost you when you said Mr. Magoo. Yeah, Mr. Magoo.

I'm driving up to Mr. Magoo and Me Too's house. On the way, you pass Spring Hill, Nova Scotia, and there's this... Home of Anne Murray. Anyways, years and years ago, they had this, we went on a tour, we went to Quebec City for spring break, right, when we were 18. Because you can drink at 19 in Nova Scotia,

but Quebec, you can drink at 18. So everybody got on a bus, we went out there. I was at a club, I was dancing with this lady, and asking her whatever, where she she's from and she's like I'm from Spring Hill and I go oh my god Spring Hill that's where Anne-Marie's from and I was just trying to be fucking funny I don't even care I don't even have an opinion on this

I go I go Anne-Marie sucks I don't even I don't even believe that like that's not even a thing that I I don't I don't even know enough I don't you know what I mean I don't care I was just trying to make up her, and she goes, Anne Murray's my aunt. I went,

oh, it's brutal. There's no coming back from that. And I'll tell you this, there is no coming back from that, and there was no coming back from that. That ended that entire exchange with that lady. Toast. Toast. She, right away. And of course she's fucking Anne Murray's

niece. Spring Hill's got like eight people in it. Two of them are Anne Murray! At a minimum, she was a friend of Anne Murray. Friend of a friend, knows her, has seen her at Canadian Tire. Anne Murray sucks. And I don't even believe that. What is your honest opinion about Anne Murray?

Anne Murray, she's a Nova Scotian fucking treasure. She's great. You're skirting the question. I don't have a full-on... I'll throw you out of here if you don't like Anne-Marie. Fine with me saying that Elon Musk should be hit in the face with a stick, but God forbid. I don't know enough of Anne-Marie's catalog. I know much more about Rita McNeil's catalog.

Who's Rita McNeil? Rita McNeil's Cape Breton fucking treasure, which is also in Nova Scotia. Lesser known outside of Canada. I would recommend, I would start you out with Just Another Woman in Love. I'm going to listen to it as soon as I'm done here. And I have to call in, actually.

What's that? Everybody in Nova Scotia, we all have each other's numbers. Everybody that's ever been born in Nova Scotia. Hank Snow died a little while ago, so I can't call him anymore. But I got to call her. I got to call her. Yeah, I got to call her. I'm going to listen to that.

And then we'll move on to Can I Have This Dance for the Rest of My Life. What is that? That's an Anne Murray song. Can you play I'm Just Another Woman in Love? We'll probably get a copyright. Can we just see a picture of Anne Murray? Just play a clip. No, we can't.

The three notes. Sued. Well, we'll play it and then we'll edit it out, but you can hear it and give us your opinion. There she is. Oh, wow. Look. I mean, she looks very Canadian folksy.

Super cool when she wasy Can you play Super cool Can you play I'm just another woman in love A few bars No you can We'll edit it out And then we'll hear What you have to say about it

1945 Can you do that Maxwell Yeah what is it I'm just another woman in love You're gonna play it For just us in the room But we can cut it And then we hear

What you would think of it Oh And the people at home Can listen to it And then And then Anne-Marie can listen to it, and then... Anne-Marie can listen to it. She's still out there.

I think, I don't think, I forget, I don't know where she lives, but she's out there. She probably still lives in Nova Scotia. I don't think so. Okay. All right. Oh, yeah, yeah.

This is, that's my... That's like That's my I'm not going to lie to you Dan that's my favorite song Maybe we should get her on the show We could try She actually featured prominently in an episode of Family Guy Where Stewie listened to one of her songs On the radio and like

Loved it and then met Anne-Marie And found out that Anne-Marie didn't write Any of the songs on the radio and like loved it. And then met Anne Murray and find out that Anne Murray didn't write any of the songs and then felt betrayed. And then like, I think like tied her up or something. I don't remember. Nobody saw that episode of the family guy. No,

no. Anyway. And Anne Murray voiced, I guess she's a good sport and she voiced her own voice. That's very funny. I mean, but who's going to say no to doing that on family guy? Yeah. Especially when you're someone, you know know you want to be relevant in modern times it was an

opportunity i guess for her to do that the thing that's odd is that in the bio of her instagram profile it says ann murray and it's the ann murray and she is verified it says musician band but then it says born in spring hill nova scotia spring hill high school university of new brunswick like what who cares what i mean who cares the people that are from dude sometimes i'll go on a podcast right and i i try to say where i'm from because there's like, there's nine of us. Nova Scotia in general has a million people in the entire province.

That's a third or a fourth of what Queens has. So I say I'm from Nova Scotia and I get messages. People are like, dude, I'm from Sackville. I'm from here. I'm from there.

Like, you've been here. So that's why she would say it. Just in general. And it's also a proud thing. You're from fucking Spring Hill, coal mining town. You got out of there. Who cares where you went to high school, though? Buddy, Spring Hill.

Look, they have Spring Hill High. Spring Hill High. Maybe you don't know about them, but it's a powerful place. It's Anne Murray, Tom Brady. Michael Jordan spent a semester there. Is that true? LeBron. No, shut up.

You're lying now. Everybody was there. Gretzky. He's full of shit. Every athlete you've ever heard. Mom and Ollie. Fought George Foreman in Spring Hill. I wonder what their mascot's got to be.

Like the otters or the beavers or something. Nathan has a beaver. Let the record show. Let the record show for those of you who are only listening that Nathan does have a beaver embroidered on his jacket. It's a Roots jacket. It says Canada on the back. It says Canada on the front, too. Damn it.

But that brings up a question that I did want to ask you, actually. I was planning to ask you. It's got to be a Coleman. You're a proud Canadian. We know that. Do you see any future for Nathan McIntosh in Canada? Are you done with Canada? Are you going to spend the rest of your life here in the United States?

No, I will not be eaten in America. When social media fully eats children's brains and adults' brains who are shaking their ass for that sweet, sweet money to feed their kids who are also making money. When those people decide to give up on polite society, no more talking to each other, and we just start eating each other in the streets, I will move back to Nova Scotia, outside of Spring Hill maybe. I'll get a small house.

I'll start smoking cigarettes. I'll get a truck. I'll grow a beard, and I'll just talk to seagulls. But a serious question, though. If you became a huge comic, you can live anywhere. You don't have to live in New York because it's kind of a show-busy move now to not live in New York. Like, Chappelle lives in

Ohio, Nikki Glaser, I think, lives in where does she live? Kansas City or some shit? Don't know. St. Louis. Yeah, you know, so that's kind of a show-busy thing to say. I'm important. I don't even have to live in New York. So you get to that level. Do you live in Nova Scotia? Yeah.

Well, I would still have something here. I love New York. But yes, absolutely. Again, I'm not making that up. I'd buy a small house. I would start smoking cigarettes. Why are you waiting to start smoking cigarettes until then? You could start smoking cigarettes now.

That's not cool here. I want to drive my truck back and forth to Sobeys while fucking listening to Ann Murray and screaming at seagulls. I got like one of those weird hats from a town that just says Skidoo, pizza, a phone number over here. So your goal in life is to be a Canadian hick? Nova Scotian. Nova Scotian.

Okay. Maritime. Yes, absolutely. I want an old truck that doesn't have any of the, like, no Bluetooth, nothing. Old dials. Maybe a CB radio. Pack of fucking Players Light. And just the road I've been on two and a half trillion times.

Cup of coffee, a few seagulls. How long have you been in New York? 12 years. What do you think of the band, the Tragically Hip? Apparently they're a Canadian. They're apparently the biggest band in Canada that no one knows outside of Canada. Yep. 12 years. What do you think of the band, the Tragically Hip? Apparently they're a Canadian, they're apparently the biggest band in Canada that no one knows outside of Canada. Yeah.

So I said to my friend, who's from Edmonton, send me their best stuff. Jordan Peterson? No. Send me your best, send me the, like I,

send me the best Tragically Hip songs. What'd you hate about it? And I just, I, it wasn't bad, I just, I struggled to like it and I just couldn't do it.

Do you like Rush? I feel you like Rush. I do like Rush. Yeah, I struggled to like it and I just couldn't do it. Do you like Rush? I feel you like Rush. I do like Rush. Yeah, I don't know why. I don't even know why. There's something about you that says Rush.

Tom Sawyer? Yeah, Tom Sawyer's good. I like Limelight, Spirit of Radio, Suburban, Mission, Time Stand Still.

But you didn't like, you didn't like, but the hip, I was trying and I was struggling and I was like, I was forcing myself. I'm like, no, this ain't working. What did you listen to?

Bob Cajun? Bob Cajun. And a couple of other ones. New Orleans is sinking? And I just couldn't do it. Gotcha. You ever hear Kim Mitchell? Is that a song about a straggly hip? No, it's a man who's also from Canada who sings Rock and Roll Party. Rock and Roll Duty, sorry.

I Am a Wild Party and something else. That would be, I think, harder for you to listen to. He's a tougher pill to swallow than the Tragically Hip is. Tragically Hip, I think, are great. Kim Mitchell, I also think is great, but for different reasons. But it's a tougher deal. You guys are making it sound like Canada's like some like remote village. No, but the tragically hip is oddly enough, unknown outside of Canada.

Like you'd think they're right next to the United States, but they just, they never penetrated. And they were on SNL. Somehow they got on SNL, I believe. Laurence Canadian. I don't know if it was because of Laurence. Right, I mean, so obviously. But they didn't, but it didn't, they didn't connect.

Like they, There was no America said no America just basically Said no to the Tragically Hip Yeah they said Just looked it right at them And said no I'm having that same problem

Right now And Lauren's had me on A couple of times I've been on Saturday Night Live A few times I've hosted I've been a musical guest I didn't see those episodes

You should check them out It's a golden eagle Ah fuck Way off It's a golden eagle. Ah, fuck. Way off. It's what? The mascot of the high school? Coal mining would be so much better. Guy just covered in soot.

The thing. It's a coal mining town. It is? Yeah. Either way, I was just fucking around. Yeah, I like the Tragically Hip. Okay. Yeah.

What other issues did I have? Didn't you have four? Well, I'll the Tragically Hip. Okay. Yeah. What other issues did I have? Didn't you have four? I had, well, I'll give you a choice. We can talk about Jimmy Carr on Fallon. We could talk about me opening for Howie Mandel, but that's more me. That's just more me. I feel like you're the guest.

I don't want to make it all about me. Or if you have a topic that you, what time is it, by the way? It's 6.15. Okay, we got to kill. I mean, we got to, we are blessed with more time. Unless you have a particular topic.

Oh, man, no. I mean, this is your guys' podcast. I don't want to... But you're the guest, so if there's something going on in Nate McIntosh land... In Nathan McIntosh land. Do you do any opening? So I'm opening for Howie Mandel this weekend in the Midwest.

We were talking about that before the show. You asked what borders Nebraska to the north. Not sure why you were asking that question, but I'm actually going to be in Iowa, which is a state. Anyway, so do you do any opening work? I've only opened for one person ever years ago. I opened for Bob Saget in Toronto years ago. Wow.

Yeah. And did you meet him? Yeah, he was the nicest person ever. I can tell this story for 15 minutes. Go ahead. Well, you're only 15. Give me 12. All right.

So a friend of mine was supposed to open for him, and he couldn't make it. So three days before, a friend calls me, and he goes, hey, do you want me to put your name in to open for him, and he couldn't make it. So three days before, a friend calls me, and he goes, hey, do you want me to put your name in to open for Bob Saget? I'm like, yeah, that'd be great. He goes, send me a clip. I'll send it to Bob's people. I get an email from Bob's people,

and they say, yeah, come to this show. So it's the Queen Elizabeth Theater in Toronto, 1,200 seats. Biggest thing I'd done at the time, and I was really fucking know, really fucking... New. I was probably doing a few years, but I was nervous and, you know, excited and all that kind of stuff. They were like, you're doing a half hour. Oh, yeah, that's a lot.

It's a lot. When you're new. Yes. So I get to the theater. I walk in. I'm at the back. Bob was on stage tuning his guitar. And I'm like, okay, well, I'm not going to bother him.

So I'm just going to walk up and sneak down to the green room. I go to the green room. Somebody comes in kind of angrily. And he goes, Bob wants to talk to you. And I go, fuck. Okay, here we go. Here's where he's going to yell at me. He's going to give me a bunch of rules.

He's going to say, here's what you can, can't do. No Anne-Marie jokes. No Anne-Marie jokes. If you even talk about this do. No Anne Murray jokes. No Anne Murray jokes if you even talk about this lady. And no Jordan Peterson. Nobody knows who he is right now. He's going to be big. Preempt, yeah, he's going to be huge. So I walk up on the stage, he gets off the stool, and he's walking over to me

with a big smile on his face, and he's like, oh my god, thank you so much for doing the show. I'm so happy to have you here. And I'm completely shocked. And I shake his hand. I'm like, thanks for having me. Yeah, and he's like, I'm so happy you're doing this show and he's like i loved your video and i go you saw my video and he goes yeah he goes i thought it went to your people and he goes i'm my people he goes i just don't want to tell you know because i watched it yeah and he goes i thought it was great so thank you for doing the show i go thanks anyways i go down to my green

room and i'm just going over 30 minutes of stuff and and he comes in, and he's like, what are you doing? I go, I'm looking at my stuff. And he goes, come into my green room. So I go into his green room. It's like this, I guess, huge table full of all, you know, stuff, hummus, you know, tons of things. And he's with this model lady. He goes, hey, so take whatever you want.

He goes, this is my girlfriend. Take whatever you want did not include the girlfriend. Not at all. And also, she, so Bob couldn't have been nicer and not say this lady was rude

or whatever, but she definitely was like, I don't need to meet you. So she sort of, she was on her phone, social media, and she went, hey,

barely, you know what I mean? Wouldn't have even registered me as a person, more just a blob that's on her left. But anyways, Bob then started talking about how lucky he was that he was able to do this theater and that people were coming up to see him and that his career, and he was just talking about how thankful he was for stuff, and he was very nice. Anyways, so I,

so before the show, I'm sitting beside the stage and, oh, I also asked him, I said, hey man, can I do one joke about Full House? And he's like, what's the joke? I told him, he goes, I'd be honored. Anyways, so I'm sitting beside the stage and they go, okay, so just at 8 o'clock,

just walk out there. And I go, okay. But in my head, I went, this is going to be terrible. I'm getting no intro, and I have to do a half hour. And they're there for him. Oh, yeah. I go, this is going to be very bad. Bob, what are you going to do? In my head, I go, I'm going to have to deal with it.

Bob goes, what? No, give him an intro. Get three fucking credits. Say his goddamn name over the loudspeaker, and give him a proper intro. So anyways, he does that. I go out and I don't know why, but I knew somebody was going to yell, you're not Bob Saget.

I just knew it. I could just feel it. So I probably had done like three minutes or something and somebody just out of, yells, screams in a 1200 seat theater, you're not Bob Saget. And then the full house joke that I asked him if I could do, I said, it's so simple or whatever, but I go,

yes, I'm not Bob Saget, but I do get to play to a Full House. People laughed, and then I was good, and the whole thing was fine. Anyways, I come offstage. Bob couldn't have been nicer in the little time before he went out. The security guards were like, hey, man, just so you know, when that guy heckled, Bob came over to us and was like, if that guy says one more fucking thing,

throw him the fuck out of this building. He goes, don't, don't let him, don't. He goes, serious to God, do not let him heckle this man. Lost his mind. And then the guy didn't say anything else. After the show, Bob was incredibly nice, you know, took a bunch of pictures and all that kind of stuff, and he was like, stay in touch.

I never did. Long story short, I'm trying to kill 12 minutes here. No, this is a good story. Dan gave up 13 minutes ago. I think this is a good story. No, no, no, it's a great story. I think it's a good story, and I give myself full credit

for kind of encouraging you to go with it. Go ahead. Full credit. Can you please ask the black people to leave, please? Anyways. So about a year later, I was moving to New York, right? And I didn't know anybody here at all. I moved here not knowing anybody except one fucking guy who didn't have anything.

So I go, like literally, I had zero connections to this place. So I go, I'm going to hail Mary. I'm going to reach out to bob saget so i i dm him on twitter and uh i go hey man i opened for you like a year ago at the queen elizabeth theater he goes what's your number bob saget called my phone called me this guy you know it's such an insane thing i don't know what he would have been worth at the time. He could have been anywhere in the world, right? Driving around in wherever, wherever, doing whatever. He took the time to call me, a human that to this day can't help anybody. So it was insane that he did that, like miraculous. Wild. And he basically was like,

I know this person at the cellar. No, sorry, not the cellar. He's like, I know this person in the city. This person scares me. And that was sort of it. But just the fact that he took the time to call my phone is like complete insanity. Like, easily the nicest person I ever met in comedy. There's a lot of very nice people. I mean, I'm not denying that he was very, very comedy. There's a lot of very nice people.

I mean, I'm not denying that he was very, very nice. There are a lot of nice people. Ray Romano is ridiculously nice. I'm not taking away from anybody else's niceness. Drew Carey, Howie Mandel is very nice. I've never met Drew Carey or Howie Mandel. I've talked to Ray. He's a very nice man.

All I'm saying is this man and this interaction is the nicest one I've had in comedy. And I haven't had like horrific, you know. And Robin Williams was. Yes, I met Robin Williams. Very nice. He used to come here and he used to sit at the table where all he didn't like sit at another table, which, by the way, if he did, I wouldn't have held it against him. Of course.

But but, you know, some comics that are big names, they have their own little they stay with each other. All the big name comics, you know, they'll stay in a little corner and they won't interact with everybody else. But Robin Williams would come to the corner table where everybody was sitting and interact and just talk with us. And you didn't get any sense that he felt he was any better than we were. He came when he was filming Man of the Year in Toronto. He came to an open mic and we kind of heard that he was coming.

But we're like, there's no way he's going to come to this thing thing he walks in just wearing like a parka like pretty unassuming and he walks up to us and he goes hey i'm rob williams we're like yeah man you've been fucking famous all of our lives like i have not known one day that you were not a famous person so yes very famous very nice man but uh the interaction i had with bob saget and his, like that was like incredible. It's just such a nice thing. You bring up like, you know, you had this awful feeling

that people are going to say, you're not Bob Saget. That's my anxiety when I, because there's always something to be anxious about. Do you know what the crazy part about that is? I always feel like I'm going

to walk out there and I'm like, we're not here for you. Do you know what the thing is though? The person that said, you're not Bob Saget was actually two black women. They said it in unison. You thought it was one person. You're not, Saget, was actually two black women. They said

in unison, you thought it was one person. You're not, and then the other one stood up. No, I just knew. I just knew it, and it happened. It just completely happened. No one's ever said that to me. What would they say to you? They wouldn't say, you're not Bob Saget, because I never opened for Bob Saget. But they might say, you're not whoever I was opening for.

Either Louis C.K. or Harry Mandel. Those are the only famous people I've opened. I did open for Frankie Valli one time. Wow. Especially with no intro, though, is the thing. No intro is insane. It was going to be a miserable half hour. But the fact that Bob bought for them to have a fucking intro, and that, you know, it was good.

I assume comedy audiences know there's going to be an opening act. You would imagine so. I don't really know what comedy audiences know,'s going to be an opening act. You would imagine so. I don't really know what comedy audiences know because I'm so in this world and for so long that I don't know how people that are not in this world think. I mean, I don't think they know it the way that we know it, right?

You know, there are people that are going to their first comedy show. They don't know that there's a formula for how to do a show, right? Like they don't know that, I don't think. Some people might not, but some people, they got to assume there's something. But also some people,

depending on who the comedian is too, wouldn't give a fuck. And they're going to yell things and be like, you are not the person I came to see. What do you think are the qualities that make a good opener? Is it necessarily just, no i'm sorry i'm serious like if you chose an opener so you're working you're you get to that level where you got latvian

hookers and you're selling out a stadium that's gonna be that's a long way away that's 60 000 people all tits now what do you look for in an opener is it just someone you like hanging out with is it someone you think is going to kill really really hard is that the main criteria is the main criteria someone that's not going to kill too hard because you want to be the big star, but they're going to get nice laughs? I don't know. Quite frankly, I don't know what the point of an opener is.

If the main guy can do an hour and a half, which is a lot of time, and maybe they don't want to do that long. You've got to do the whole thing now. You have to open the whole, you have to literally be your own host. So what they could just say, are you, like, look, when I go to see a band, typically there's not,

if there is an opener, I don't usually pay attention. There's usually openers for bands. Yeah, but I don't, I think I usually come late. Yeah, of course you do, but the band wants an opener. They want somebody to go on in front of them. But if they just said, I saw Jackie Mason on mason on broadway there was no opener there's no opener when you when alex edelman did his off broadway show broadway i i went to see fucking uh there's

no there's no open wicked either it's broadway right but so why there should have been why why why does that why is that different why does um jackie Jackie Mason's one-man show, which was stand-up, by the way, did not need an opener? Well, my only thought, now I don't know why, but here's the thought.

You have to be in that fucking seat on Broadway at a certain fucking time. Everywhere else, you can do whatever you want. Comedy club? Show up whenever.

You want to get here at 9.58? The show starts at 7.30? Cool. That's why. Right. Same as a... And they're going to be focused and kind of well-behaved because that's the vibe started at 7.30, cool. That's why. Right. Same as a... And they're going to be focused and kind of well-behaved because that's

the vibe of the theater. Broadway is like, we say we close these doors at 7.45. You're not getting in. So then you could. You don't need somebody for that. Everybody's seated. Everybody's ready to go. Then the job of the opener in that case is just to kill time while everybody's sitting. Yes, that's exactly.

Not necessarily to make people laugh so that they're used to whatever. No, no, the laugh part too, but getting people ready into the whole deal. But again, Broadway, they don't have any of that. More places should be Broadway. Get here at a certain fucking time, sit down, stop it.

Stop it's amazing. Stop it. That's probably the explanation. That might be one of the explanations. I think that there is something to, you know, sort of the pomp and circumstance of it all, that you want to get everybody situated and ready and prepared for the show.

And I think that there probably is also something that comics like to hang out with other comics. And generally speaking, if the opener drives the comic who's headlining to the show, I mean, that's at a lower level at a big, big level, like your Romano,

your Seinfeld, your Gaffigan, you, they all have openers. Yeah. Are they having openers on because they just want to be generous with a, big level, like your Romano, your Seinfeld, your Gaffigan, they all have openers. Yeah. Are they having openers on because they just want to be generous with a comic that could use the money? I don't think it's just the money.

I think it's also about maybe giving- Or maybe give a longer show to the public so the public gets a better show because there's more, I don't know. And maybe showcasing. First of all, I think that you want somebody amazing to open for you because it makes you look better when you're surrounded by other people who are great. You don't want somebody mediocre

opening for you. You want somebody who's hilarious. Now, what about somebody that's so hilarious? I mean, this would never happen because they're all there for the headliner, but would you want... No, they're not, says you. Remember Mother's Day, 5pm? You didn't think any of those people came to see you. But the headliner is a famous you want... No, they're not, says you. Remember Mother's Day, 5 p.m.? You didn't think any of those people came to see you.

Well, but the headliner is a famous person. Oh. Yeah, okay. So the idea that an opener is going to, like, outshine the headliner probably would never happen,

but theoretically, would you want somebody that's funny but not too funny? No. Nathan McIntosh, you say what? I don't even know anymore. Honestly, I think I lost

what we were... I'm saying, who would be your opening act when you... MC Hammer. If I had my actual choice, my real pumps and a bump, he does it twice, and then I come out. And you would tell him you're going to do The Addams Family and you're going to do Too Legit to Quit. Too Legit to Quit would be all right, too, yes.

And by saying you're, I honestly think probably the best titled album of all time, Please Hammer, Don't Hurt Him. Oh, that's the title of his album? Yes. And that's, I really think, look it up, I really think that's the best title of any album

ever. You can't touch this on that album? Please Hammer, Don't Hurt Him. That's the best. Is that theurt Him. That's the best. Is that the best title? That's the best title. Give me a better title. Beggar's Banquet? The Rolling Stones? Not at all. Beggar's Banquet? Yeah, it's kind of a cool notion.

Compared to Please Hammer Don't Hurt Him? That's good. I'm not saying it's not. It's the best! It's somebody beside the stage. What's on that album? I'm not saying it's not. It's the best. It's somebody beside the stage. What's on that album? MC Hammer. I'm pretty sure fucking...

Yeah, you can't touch this. Can't touch. Hammer's about to go on stage. The stage manager's like, please, Hammer. You know what I mean? Don't hurt him. And then he obviously goes out there.

And he hurts him. He rips him. Hurts him. What'd you call it. Banquet's ball? Beggar's Banquet is a Rolling Stones album. Yeah, that's a Rolling Stones album. I think that you could riff on that for your next. Rush has it.

You know what? Rush has an album. Rush has it. It's an hour. Rush has an album called Hold Your Fire. That's not even close. No, but it's similarly, you know, in both cases, you're holding your fire. Please, Hammer, don't hurt him. And Hold Your fire. That's not even close. No, but it's similarly, you know, in both cases, you're holding your fire. Please, Hammer, don't hurt him.

And hold your fire, a similar notion. Please, hold your fire from Rush sounds like they're saying it to the audience. Don't shoot us. Right, but you could see the similarities. Well, let's put a poll on this podcast. I'm not saying it's a better title. I'm saying I see the similarity. I'm not even trying to argue with it. I'm saying I see the similarity. I'm not even trying to argue with that.

I'm saying let the... In other words, if you said to Hammer, please Hammer, don't hurt him. And if you said to Hammer... Please. If you said Hammer, hold your fire. But see, that's the problem with the Rush album. It doesn't say Rush, hold your fire.

It's hold your fire, which is them going on stage and being like, stop throwing stuff at us. We're going to do Tom Sawyer. Yes, we're opening with it. Yes, we're closing with it. Yes, we're closing with it. Stop throwing things. Don't throw Tim Hortons cups.

Do you know any Rush songs, Peril? Maybe if you said them, I would recognize them, but not off the top of my head. The biggest hit, I think, was Tom Sawyer, Limelight, and Closer to the Heart. I think I know Closer to the Heart.

This has been, I think think a very good discussion I particularly like listening to that song In the corner of my bathroom With the Northern Lights That would be a good Closer to the Heart Lights Off Northern Lights in My Bathroom Is perhaps the title of my album.

I was going to say, that's a great album title. Northern Lights in My Bathroom. That's a great title. That is great for your next special. Write below, Please Hammer, Don't Hurt Him. Okay. Northern Lights in My Bathroom is hilarious. So stupid and good.

Yeah, yeah. I think it's pretty good. I'm really into, for your next special, you getting dressed up like MC Hammer on the cover of Please Hammer, Don't Hurt Them and really recreating that. It's an entire hour about that one album. I break down every single song. Now, would it be Please Nathan, Don't Hurt Them

or would it be Please Mr. McIntosh? them? Or would it be please, please, Mr. McIntosh? I think Hammer. I would just do the whole thing. Please, Mr. McIntosh is sort of a good title for now. Please, Mr. McIntosh is fucking great. I like that as a title. Dan's ready to go. He wanted to put his jacket on 26 minutes ago.

He was looking at it. I want to give the people, the people pay for an hour. I want to give the people the people pay for an hour. I want to give them at least an hour. That's, you know, if we hadn't, maybe we could have an opening podcast.

Yes. Ten minutes. You have a podcast. An hour is a long time to do comedy. Do you get fatigued? Nathan. Or am I?

Or I just have low endurance because I find that like I have to, you know, that post 45, 50 minutes, it's like, this is fucking not easy. We work for like an hour a night. It's an hour at full intensity.

It's an hour at full intensity. Full Natterman's like pretty chill. You know, I mean... And there are people that do like an hour and a half. But also you don't like. But I don't stop to breathe. Yeah. Like, you know, some comics, because I'm so scared if I'm not funny for two minutes, they're going to walk out.

So, you know, I don't have like a Chappelle can just sort of sit there with a cigarette. Cigarette. Yeah, with a cigarette. And he can just kind of stay there in the zone. And not say anything with full confidence that all eyes will stay riveted and they will. But you aren't anxious if you had your anxiety a little bit more under control, you could do that too. And people would also stay riveted and not get up and walk out. I'm always worried they're going to walk out. That's my fear.

You're the one. And I, and I would say I do this sometimes too. You're the one walking out on yourself. Do you know what I mean? Thank you, Oprah. Dr.

Phil, maybe. Please, Phil. Please, Dr. Phil. You Phil Please Dr. Phil You have to go back to your special For a second

But Nathan's also at fucking Top energy That's what I was just about to say He is you are at very high Energy you're extremely Animated And it's an It's an active thing.

It's a lot of screaming. You can't phone in Nathan's act. I try not to. But yeah, I have some of that. There's a little bit of fear. But also, I don't like the spaces sometimes. But Dan's wanted to leave for literally 42 minutes. He'll be fine.

42 minutes. No, no, go ahead. I'm kidding. I don't like the space between stuff. Because sometimes I'm like what's the waiting for is there not more things to be said

does that make sense yeah I actually kind of found it weird when I first moved to New York the streets are completely insane

right everybody's yelling everybody's screaming and then a lot of comedy is like hey how you doing I went to the store the other day

and I was like what the fuck this doesn't match the fucking street at all. Yeah, no, I guess it's an interesting observation. Because a lot of people yelled at me. They were like, you're so loud.

You're yelling things. I'm like, do you live here? How the fuck am I at a place, you psycho? You're speaking at a zero. You're literally speaking at zero. How the fuck do you even live here? Do you fly in every day from Des Moines? You're not even the same person. I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to many people. Hey, guys.

What are you doing? Yeah, I would imagine that coming here from Canada, from Nova Scotia to Queens. You live in Queens, right? Well, I lived in Toronto for a few years before I came here. Okay. The move from Nova Scotia to Toronto was bigger than the one from Toronto to here.

But Toronto to here was still big, but Nova Scotia to there... How are you here legal? Do you have to have some sort of... Here we go. You have to have some sort of paperwork documentation. Don wants my papers. What are you, ICE? I just wonder how that works. I have a green

card, yeah. Oh, you have a green card. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want to see it? No, I don't need to see it. I'll give it to you. Take it home. Did you get it like, did you have a green card. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want to see it? No, I don't need to see it. I'll give it to you. I'll give it to you. But do you get it? Like, did you have to apply for, like, an artist visa and say that, like? I had the artist visa, yeah, and then I applied for it. Nate was like. Nathan.

Nathan. No, because, like, somebody asked me to write them a letter saying that, you know, a comic that I won't mention, but, like, just saying that we, you know, we need him here. Like, he can't. He can't. Nobody here does what he does. Or something like that. An Alien of Exceptional

Ability? Is that Extraordinary Ability? It's an insane title. It's a great title. It's insane. I'm embarrassed. It's insane. I love it! Alien of Extraordinary Ability is disgraceful. It sounds like something in a science fiction movie. Absolutely. It sounds like something Lex Luthor was trying to fight. It's disgraceful. I can't believe they write that. It sounds like something in a science fiction movie. Absolutely.

It sounds like something Lex Luthor was trying to fight. It's wild, but that's what the status is. That is just kind of a cool... I don't find it cool at all. I truly find it embarrassing. Well, but you don't have to tell anybody. Alien, for one, no matter what you do, pay tax here, fuck you, alien,

of extraordinary abilities. It's like, Jesus, there are some real abilities out there. How do you prove that you're of extraordinary ability? I have to be on this podcast. This is one of the things. Can you start fires with your mind? I can start fires with my mind.

The Homeland Security calls me every once in a while. They're like, you gotta do at least two or three more podcasts this month and show us something. You really gotta go on there and show us something. Are they like SD where if you don't continuously show them your extraordinary ability they can revoke the green card?

Like I said, I have to send avails to Homeland Security. To maintain your extraordinary ability status. Yeah, they want to see me. Do you have to audition for Homeland Security? Every couple weeks. I gotta go to the airport. You have to audition for Homeland Security? Every couple of weeks. I got to go to the airport. You know that line for customs? There's a mic in front of it. And every once in a while when I go,

I have to turn around and make those people fucking laugh. It's tough, man. It's a tough gig. And there were two black ladies there once. Always. I mean, always. And I always have to be like, can you please? Natterman would not approve. I'm glad you're here. mean, always. And I always have to be like, can you please? Natterman would not approve.

I'm glad you're here. Thanks, Dan. I don't say that about every Canadian. I believe it. Some Canadians, you know. There are a lot of very funny Canadians. You're Canadian. My parents are, yes.

We've had this argument. If your parents are Canadian, you're 80% Canadian. 80. At least. Canadians are not an ethnic are Canadian, you're 80% Canadian. 80. At least. Canadians are not an ethnic group, so you can't, like, inherit it. Now, I did have Canadian citizenship at birth and it expired when I was 25 because I didn't file whatever paperwork I needed to. So I no longer.

But I had. You could still get it, though, if you wanted to. Yeah, I probably could. But there's no point. Other than, like, if a plane gets hijacked by people that hate America. That's never happened. Other than if a plane gets hijacked by people that hate America. That's never happened. Or the hostages in Iran where the people with Canadian passports, they let them go. Argo.

Argo, yeah. Other than that... Seems like you just gave two really good reasons to get paid. It's very unlikely that I'll be in those situations. What if Jordan Peterson wants you to open for him? I would have to do the paperwork. Is it too late or is it still possible?

It's possible. If both my parents are Canadian, I could get a Canadian passport. Now, are they Quebecois? They're Quebec, English-speaking Quebecers. Quebecois is usually a word that you usually would use for the French-speaking population.

I wonder if that's where your affinity for French came in. Well, it probably played a role of some sort. I took Spanish in high school because they told me it was easier, but it is not. No, it's not. They only say it's easier because it's racism, because it's not a prestige language,

because we associate it with the guy delivering food. That's why I think people think it's an easier language. But it's actually harder than French, in my opinion. Thoughts? I agree with you. I took French in high school, too, and I don't think that Spanish is easier than French at all. I think Spanish is harder.

Yeah, I think. I think it's harder. We want to thank Nate McIntosh. Nathan. Nathan McIntosh. Nobody calls you Nate? Only everybody in America. But my full name is Nathaniel, but I go by Nathan.

But you go by Nathan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we're done. We are done. I'm just going to sign off. Wait, and everybody can watch your special? Yeah, it's called Down With Tech. So we're done. We're done? Yeah, we are done. I'm just going to sign off. Wait, and everybody can watch your special? Yeah, it's called Down With Tech. It's on YouTube. Please check it out.

You can also follow me, I know, on all social stuff, at Nathan McIntosh. I got a bunch of upcoming shows on NathanMcIntosh.com. Thank you. Thank you, everybody. Podcast at ComedyCenter.com

for comments, questions, and suggestions. Bye-bye.