The Comedy Cellar: Live from the Table - Election Aftermath

Episode Date: November 15, 2016

Election Aftermath

You're listening to The Comedy Cellar, live from the table on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com. Good evening, citizens of America, on this historic occasion, day after the election of Donald Trump as president. Did you ever think you'd be saying that? Oh, yes, I did. We're here at the back table at the new, soon-to-be deregulated comedy cellar. My name is Noam Dorman. I'm the owner of the comedy cellar, who's going to pay almost no taxes next year. I'm sorry. Well, I'll tell you, Noam. I'm here with Dan Natterman.

I hope that the tourists don't stop coming. And Kristen Montella. Or you'll really pay no taxes if the tourists stop coming to New York in big numbers. I'll just say that you've never had a more flourishing business as you've had under the Democrats. I hope it continues.

Last night was a, all kidding aside, was an historic day in American history. People will be learning about this for hundreds of years. First time America has elected... I'd say a hundred. No, I think... Hundreds is a long time.

We haven't even been around hundreds of years. Well, let's see what the Fuhrer does, and then we'll... They'll be talking about Hitler a few hundred years from now, I'm sure. Oh, God. You think Trump can't measure up? I've lost my train of thought now. What was I saying?

They'll be talking about this for hundreds of years. They're talking about the tsunami that just arrived on shore last night. The first time that a non-military, non-government person, political, has ever been elected president of the United States. But obviously the story is much more nuanced and much richer than that.

Well, go ahead. Tell the story, Dan. How do you feel about this? Well, the story is this is an event of absolutely epic proportions, bigger, well, perhaps bigger than 9-11. I know that I feel similarly shaken. Not for those who died in 9-11. No, not for those directly affected. But I feel relatively the same level of shakenness that I felt after 9-11. Really? Yeah, I feel very shaken.

Really? Why are you howling? Either you really underreacted to 9-11 or you're really overreacting to this. 9-11 was a ball of fire. You could smell human flesh here for three weeks afterwards. This was a revolution.

And, you know, hopefully a quiet revolution. Do you remember after 9-11? We were afraid to go into restaurants, afraid to go into stores. They were evacuating the Empire State Building. We were expecting a subway bomb. We were uranium. I'm just telling you.

Then it was, you don't remember, then it was anthrax coming through the mail. And all of this is as jarring as... It's as jarring to me because everybody reacts differently to different situations. You know, if you don't fill the room... I mean, it's not a clown. No, that's not important to most people. But if the cellar is empty on a Friday night and you lose money... That's more jarring than I like.

For you, that would be very jarring. But what is it about this particular event that is especially... Well, I feel better today because I feel better today. But I feel better mostly because Trump's speech was measured and conciliatory. In English, not in German? Had it been, had he threatened to put Hillary in jail? Had it been a rabble-rousing speech? What were the odds of that?

Really? Well, I was worried about that. Really, you were worried about that? Why would he do that? Because the man is unhinged. There's certainly evidence to that effect. He's so unhinged that the... Listen, one of the definitions, I hate to defend this,

but one of the definitions of being unhinged is that your decisions lead you to ruin. Right. If all the decisions that everybody's been criticizing you for, the unhinged decisions, end up with you as President of the United States, We should all be so lucky. It's difficult to make a strong argument that it's unhinged. Well, a lot of unhinged people become heads of state over the years.

I'm not going to mention the classic example because Who's the classic example? Well, you know who the classic example is? Bill Clinton? Adolf Schubert. No, no. That's different. That's different. That's different. It's different for a million different reasons.

I'm just saying that all the things that Trump was doing that people were saying was ridiculous got him elected President of the United States. So there was some method to his madness. There might have been a method to his madness, or he might have just tripped and fell into the White House. No. I don't know. And that's why his speech,

his acceptance speech, was important for me to hear and was calmed me down quite a bit. But I still feel I'm certainly not the only one. You know, I feel a great, I can't even articulate necessarily why. I just, I'm hoping for the best. But, you know, I think the man is, he brings out a lot of bad in a lot of people. Not in a lot of people. Dan sees one

Facebook viral meme about some, you know, there's like, you know that Dylan Roof, the guy who shot up the black church, you know why he did it? He complained he couldn't find any white supremacists to join him, so he went into, this was his beef. Dan sees one, you know, KKK. I don't see one, All right, number one.

Yes. I spend a fair amount of time reading websites with this kind of stuff on it, and it's far more than one. Can you put a numerical number on how many KKK members you... I'm not talking about the KKK. Who are you talking about? I'm talking about people that consider black people baboons, that consider Jews Zionist... I'm not talking about your house on Passover, Dan. All right.

And consider Jews Zionist traitors and... Trump's daughter is an Orthodox Jew. I'm not talking about Trump. I'm talking about what he inspires in certain people. All right, listen. All right? Now, how many of those people are, I don't know. Listen. He inspires some very bad things in certain people.

And I was concerned about... He didn't inspire that in those people. Those people always felt that way. And he made it, for some people, okay to express that. They always expressed it. No, they express it more now. And I was concerned about potential people doing crazy shit. And saying, hey, it's Trump.

But that potential is still there. And then Donald Trump came out and read a few words on a teleprompter and it all went away. He's not concerned anymore. I'm saying it went a long way toward, it helped a good deal.

He went up there and he said, this is, I want to be president for all Americans. He didn't go up there and say, all right,

all right, now let's, you know, now I'm president now and I can speak the truth and start saying some crazy ass shit. Did you really think that was a possibility?

I didn't fucking know. Dan, you're losing touch with reality. Not that I can blame you. You're just figuring it out. Because half the country is saying the same kind of stuff as you are. But there was no chance of that. It's like the people that thought Obama was going to win and get up there and sing Jay-Z. Listen, first of all, I want to tell you why I'm happy about this. Noam has been saying now

for months that he hates Hillary with such a level of detestation that the only conclusion I can draw is that you don't like women. Unfortunately, that's the only conclusion I can come to. Now he's really losing his mind. Because your level of hatred for Hillary is... I don't like women. I love women.

Well, you love pussy. I love women when they know their place. No, come on, Dan. Of course I love women. Well, but you expressed to me something yesterday about Hillary. You think I wouldn't have voted for Condoleezza Rice? Can I say what you texted me or no? Did I call her the C word?

Yes. No, you can't say that. Now we all know anyway. I just feel that your level of hatred for Hillary is hard to explain when you have no similar hatred for a man that might be a sexual predator that is alleged to have cheated workers out of saying he didn't do a good job and didn't pay them. Horrible. Yeah, it is horrible.

He may or may not have done something that we don't know. And Hillary may or may not have done something that we don't know. There's no evidence that she's committed any crime. That's not why I hate her, by the way. Why do you hate her? I've always hated Hillary Clinton. It started with

her first healthcare thing where they were asking questions and she goes, I can't be responsible for every undercapitalized entrepreneur. This was her answer to why it was, she was thinking about the businesses that were going to go out of business because of her first healthcare plan that she put.

Then there was the, I found the billing records in my bedroom. We were looking for it for years. There it was in the closet in our bedroom. Then it was the, I found the billing records in my bedroom. We were looking for it for years. There it was in the closet in our bedroom. Then it was the, yeah, I got lucky with chicken futures. Then it was the vast right-wing conspiracy when Monica was telling the truth. Then it was, I'll just cut out all the middle. Come back here. Wipe it, you mean, with a cloth?

I mean, just the degree of lies. And then, of course, all the lies which Comey did say that she told without, he didn't find, he decided there wasn't evidence of a crime that he wanted to prosecute, but he found that she didn't have just one device. She did, there were

marked, emails marked, they they, I marked the I mean I can't get ahead of myself. They bleach bit destroyed stuff. She did wipe the server. I mean the the

the State Department Attorney General What's it called? General I forget what the person in charge of overseeing the State Department. Anyway, the report says they warned her not to have the private server. When they were asked, when people who worked for the State Department

reminded Hillary's people, they were told, don't mention that anymore. So, but the email thing is the least of it. It is, she is, stands for nothing. Everything that Bernie Sanders said about a turnout, she really was giving speeches to Goldman Sachs, telling them, oh, you guys, I'm on your side. This really was

while she was coming out and talking about how she's going to get at the banks. She really did say to the mothers who lost their children in Benghazi, this was about a video, and we're going to get the guy who did that video, and then went home and emailed Chelsea. It was an al-Qaeda-like group. She is just detestable for so many reasons.

She just wanted to be president. So bad. Stood for nothing. I got to be president. I got to be president. And I don't like her. I never felt sincerity from her. But if I were doing the hiring, I would have chosen her over Trump. I would because she had the better resume.

If I were doing the hiring. However, that is not to say that Trump necessarily has to be a disaster or that there isn't actually the chance that Trump's presidency could far exceed Hillary's presidency. The problem with Trump is that this is a guy who can't control himself. The day after he wins the presidential nomination, he goes on a tirade against Ted Cruz's father. But when I said he was unhinged

you said unhinged? How can he be unhinged? He's the president-elect his problem is that he in my mind that he can't he's impulsive he can't always govern himself he's impulsive and as a president that can get you into trouble

and so being risk-averse you want someone who can control themselves, who can deliberate and be president, some of that experience. But what do we know would be of a Hillary presidency? Four more years of a watered-down Obama presidency, which has been, you know, basically 1% or 2% growth, with no reason except that it'll be, at least we love Obama. Obama was this great, believable man that everybody took pride in.

With her, it's going to be one lie after another, one scandal after another, one, just four years of exhausting mediocrity. I don't anticipate. And we want to endorse this four years of exhausting mediocrity because of the risk of this guy who is a loose cannon. However, already, what do we know the Trump presidency might be? He comes out and says, listen, the first thing I want to do is a big infrastructure project, right? Like roads. We'd all love that.

Trump wants to be the Robert Moses of the United States. Well, Robert Moses is a controversial figure, and a lot of the shit he did we don't like. Or the Hover and Hoover. Just because somebody wants to make infrastructure, you love infrastructure. I've noticed this about Noam. He's like, they don't build bridges anymore. No, but the bridges aren't going to fall apart. The bridges are fine.

Let me ask you this. No, no, not just bridges. Roads, airports. I ask hospitals. Well, you know, I'm fine. I love a new airport if we can find the money to do it. Now, listen. Now, liberals like Krugman, who I enjoy Krugman's columns.

Let's get to Mehran Karagni. Mehran, hold on a second. This is an important point. Liberals have been writing very convincing columns, by the way, saying that interest rates are at zero right now, and the smart thing to do is to borrow, borrow, borrow, because the economy is sluggishish and this money is practically free. So there's never been a better time in history to borrow this money.

The truth is, if Hillary were president and proposed the infrastructure, the Republican Congress would oppose her. That's politics. She wouldn't be able to do it. But I don't care about that. I'm a patriot. I just want the infrastructure. What's the best way to get the infrastructure?

Well, you lost me. I'm a patriot. I just want the infrastructure. What's the best way to get the infrastructure? Well, you lost me at I'm a patriot. Because I'm not... In other words, if Hillary proposed the infrastructure, I would support it, but the Republicans would oppose it, and it wouldn't happen. I just don't like the word patriot applied to Noam Duhamel. All right.

So now you have a situation where it's really going to happen. If you were to take... I have to collaborate with you. If you were to take... Let's say take 1975, and you compare what we have in the country, roads, bridges, airports, and compare that to what was the state of the art

that could be imagined in the world in 1975. What we had in America was very close to it. Hard, yeah. Not now. Now, let's do that same standard now. What do we have, and let's compare it to what the state of the art in the world is. Airports for gals. Everything.

What do we have? A GPS system? Satellite? I'm talking about infrastructure. That's infrastructure. GPS is infrastructure. That is not infrastructure. The hell it's not.

We got satellites. We got scanners in space. They're floating around here. That is not infrastructure. It's basically infrastructure. Not according to the dictionary. The fact is we've done fantastic things. Just because it's not a bridge, you don't count it.

We've done fantastic, incredible things. Are you arguing against the infrastructure? No, I'm saying we can't do everything. We've done huge things. You're saying that infrastructure. We can do better. We've done huge things. It's been huge.

Huge. I like how he's doing that. I'm doing that. But let's introduce Mehran Karagni. Karagni, love you. That's all right, Dan. Mehran Karagni is, don't I'm doing that. But let's introduce Maran Karagni. Karagni, love you. All right. That's all right, Dan.

Maran Karagni is, don't call him an Arab because he is not. Have I ever taken offense to that with you? No. No, but Iranians never like to be called Arab. It's true. They always make a big to-do about I'm not an Arab. It's true. Abundant lip service is paid to the fact that we're not Arab. It's just like when you call a-

Infrastructure. I know what it means. It doesn't matter. You don't sound like you know what it means because I'm talking about infrastructure. You want to talk about GPS? The point is, you're basing the status

of the country on our infrastructure and there's many other measures. One of which is we've led the world in the internet. You know, a little thing called

the internet? World Wide Web? You know it? That was us. You mean where I get my porn? Yeah. I've heard of it. There it is.

You know, that was mostly us. GPS was all us. You mean where I get my porn? Yeah. I've heard of it. There it is. You know, that was mostly us. GPS was all us. You know. I don't know where this is going. I'm saying he's saying because we don't have good airports, America's a shit show. That's not what he's saying. He's just saying there's room for improvement.

And we do need infrastructure. What I'm saying is, by making the point, you didn't even listen to me. My point was that although I think Hillary was the conservative choice that I would have to make if I were hiring, I recognize that with Trump, you have a totally different dynamic. You have a risk, a real risk, of him getting us into real trouble, especially in foreign policy where there's no proper checks and balances. On the other hand, you have the promise, the possibility, that a man who is not beholden to any party, owes no favors to anybody, has made a deal directly with the American people, and who's dreaming big about, if you want to take him at his word, could actually accomplish greater things than we could ever expect from Hillary. And infrastructure is my first example. He can do that and will do it. He will do it.

She would not be able to do it not to blame her just because of the reality that the Congress would automatically oppose her. So already we're going to have something likely with him that we wouldn't have with her and that is a nice outcome

for someone who doesn't give a shit about parties I want to go to a nice airport like they have in Qatar for Christ's sake. So now we're going to get that. And you can make these arguments. I'm also happy to see They're redoing LaGuardia. That already has started. I'm also happy to see this fucking arrogant elite

people who just look down their nose at everybody else get their comeuppance. I've always felt... You mean like a guy that calls everybody a loser, that doesn't pay people? That kind of arrogant? I never called anybody a loser.

He's saying Donald Trump. Obviously, that's what I'm saying. Your hatred of him... Don't have to explain the jokes. They must not be very good jokes. I mean, okay, if you think that this Fifth Avenue, third generation trust fund baby loves the working man, he might. Listen, I don't know to the extent that Donald Trump has not paid people or paid people or had justification. I don't know.

I'm not defending him. I know the following. I have never had any contractor work for me that I wanted to pay. They've always fucked me over, every single one of them. Number two, everybody in business Hold on, number two. Everybody in business, and I'm a flea compared to Donald Trump, has disgruntled

people walking around who if you were to debrief anybody I've ever fired, not one of them is going to tell you I really fucked up. I was really a jackass. He had to fire me. They're going to blame me. Sour grapes.

And if you're going to have someone on Donald Trump's scale, at least some significant percentage of that is disgruntled stuff. Number three, he keeps building shit. So he seems to be getting subcontractors. At some point, you can't just not pay anybody and continue to go on in business. So I'm not going to sit here and say that Donald Trump, but the fact, whether Donald Trump did or didn't, should or shouldn't lose some

civil lawsuit with somebody he didn't pay is not reason enough for me to endorse policies that I don't agree with. If I am pro choice, and pro choice is what I really care about, I'm not going to vote for the guy who's going to repeal Roe vs. Wade because the pro-choice candidate didn't pay

his contractors. I'm just saying, you felt that you're all happy because you feel that Hillary is an arrogant and hates the people. Let me tell you what else I want to say. And this is one of my greatest hits. I've been telling you for a long time. One of the big problems in politics... Can we get back to Mehran Karani?

I hate you. One of the big problems in politics... Can we get back to Mehran Karani? Karani, I hate you. One of the big problems in politics that I've identified for a long time is that everybody is all exercised about what other people shouldn't do. So when people who live in an Arizona border town

complain about a thing, people like us in New York say, they're racist, They should do this. When people who live in a nice neighborhood don't want housing projects, they should have housing projects. Everybody should. And when white people in the Rust Belt see their life expectancy going down, they can no longer earn a living with a strong back,

and they're not qualified, and their children are not qualified to become doctors, lawyers, whatever it is. And they're complaining that about, and they may be wrong about NAFTA or whatever, but they're just complaining about their plight and no one is championing them. They're called racist. Well, who's called them racist? Everybody.

The whole basket of deplorable racist. They're probably also racist. If you were to speak to one of these, no, if you were to speak to one of these people, I would rather live in any small town American town there is than live in many of the neighborhoods in New York City with the people that we're supposed to

who are not racist. No, you wouldn't. Not because they're bad people. Every time I've gotten into small-town America, they're nice in the stores, they're nice in the restaurants, they treat... Because you're a white man.

Now I'm white? I thought I was a Jew. No, well, you are. You are a Jew, but that's also why. You don't read... I'm not saying they're not nice people. I'm saying you wouldn't last a day in small-town America.

You couldn't have these kinds of conversations. If you want to... It's just bigotry. Obviously, a KKK member is going to be happy to support any presidential candidate who wants to control the border. You're trying to get all your points in at once. There's the last thing I'm going to say. And you always do that.

We're talking about satellites and GPS. We were talking about... Let me just finish. Obviously, a KKK member, 100% of them, are going to support the candidate who wants to shut down

the border. And who said that Mexicans send rapists and murderers. Wait, wait, wait. Hold that thought. That could be your thing. Hold that thought.

But obviously... You can have that, Pearl. But that doesn't mean by any logic that a person with an IQ above 100 could easily understand that anybody who supports closing the border, a controlled border, is a racist.

All elephants have big feet. Just because you have big feet doesn't make you an elephant. Obviously, Trump, who wants to control the border, who wants to turn the ship around, is going to get the racist vote. It is bigotry to then apply that. Could you stop filibustering, for Christ's sake? Go ahead.

First of all, I agree with you. I agree with you. Let Mehran talk about it. Well, I have to respond. I'm so on your ears. You're barking at me as if I disagree with you. And I've been saying for a long time, I have no disagreements with you about our right to control our borders.

Can I have a chalk, please? And I never disputed that, so I don't know why you're barking at me. We've had this discussion on numerous occasions. Then what's your argument? Listen, I'm just sick of the whole... You're saying that you're tired of people looking down on...

I hear you, but... Was Hillary looking down on these, on small-town America? Absolutely. She called them a basket of deplorables. She called Trump supporters a basket of deplorables, not small-town America. Who elected Trump? Everybody.

The deplorables. Everybody. Without the deplorables. Everybody. All income groups? No, no. Yes, all. No.

Yes, it was all income groups and Republicans. All income groups voted for Romney. All income groups voted for Hillary. What changed? The deplorables moved from the Democrats to Republicans. She didn't say small-town Americans are deplorable. She said Trump supporters are deplorable, or at least some percentage of them. And Trump supporters include pretty much everybody.

Mayron Kogrodny is with us. Who is she referring to? I don't know who she's referring to. Who is she referring to as the deplorables? Like people who are willing to sit on their hands in the face of pussy grabbing and calling Mexicans rapists and murderers. He said rapists, not murderers.

Oh no, he said murderers. In that same speech. I have my hand to go. When he announced his candidacy, he went so far as to say... Do you know how much bigger electoral margin Trump would have had if he had not if he just cleaned up a few of those ridiculous comments he made that's yeah that's true and but i think you

know part of what he did but part of the geniuses of trump is that he knew that television was going to work for him no matter what so all he ever had to do was to drum up a certain amount of controversy so that people would continue to maintain interest in him right so as far as i'm concerned that was the that was the chess piece that he played the best, was staying in public dialogue every single day. Even if it was with incredulity, and people just couldn't believe what was coming out of this idiot's mouth,

it still got him on TV, what, three to four hours a day. They believed what was coming out of the idiot's mouth. But he would even contradict himself know, he would contradict himself. He wasn't even consistent. Can we focus on the Mexican rapist thing? The Mexican rapist thing. If Hillary had said that about... I don't dispute, by the way,

what you're going to say about Trump and the Mexican rapist, because he didn't call Mexicans rapists. He said they're sending over rapists. No, I'm not going to say that. But if Hillary had called Mexicans rapists, you'd say, that arrogant, racist bitch.

Because you had this thing about Hillary. No, I wouldn't. I wouldn't. As a matter of fact, when the email thing first came out, I was defending her. Because I... Anyway, it doesn't matter. I think that the Trump...

And I was very disappointed in Trump and that Mexican thing, and I kept saying, why didn't he just apologize about it? Because it came right... First of all, he goes out there without any notes, nothing, right? This is in the context of that... Was it Sandra? No.

Kate. The woman who was murdered in San Francisco by an immigrant who'd been deported six times. Oh, I missed that completely. I can't think of her name. It was when he... What's the woman who got murdered? Whatever. San Bernardino.

Her name... The immigrant, the one that... Her name was Sandy Bernardino. No, what is it? What's her name? Anyway, so it was a big thing in the news. And you see, you don't know it. It's interesting because it was a big thing in the news

where this woman had been... This guy had been deported, I think, five or six times. On the sixth time that he came back in, he murdered somebody. And people were outraged by this. So Trump, with that in the back of his mind, said, and you know, when they're sending, they're not sending, they're sending over their rapists and the murderers, and I suppose some are very nice people.

That's at the very end of his speech, and he'd already made all his points. Now, instead of having the class and the sense to say, listen, the next day, listen, that came out wrong. It was in reference to this very specific thing. But the interesting thing is that he never said anything like that again. And he increased the margin with Hispanics over Romney. So Hispanics were able to— They just said 29% of Hispanics voted for him.

Did better than Romney did. So, you know, you begin to wonder how much of this is our own desire to vilify or just don't like him or whatever it is as opposed to saying, like, if my friend had said that I would have known it came out wrong, you know? But how many times

would you let your friend sort of have that degree of foot-in-mouth? But I'm saying he never said anything like that again about Hispanics. Oh, but he said other things that were, right? And so you begin to see a pattern of him just saying this kind of foot and mouth disease and not cleaning it up. Question is, what do you think really animates the guy? Do you think he's animated by a hatred of Hispanics? I never believed that. I think he's a reality TV guru.

And I think he knows how to manipulate that media. So you think the Mexican rapist was intentional? I think everything that he said that was controversial and that made people's ears hot was absolutely intentional. Look, we've had this discussion before. When he made fun of the disabled guy? Absolutely. That was not calculation.

I'm so sorry. I don't want to walk off. But this has all been done to death. Can we get to something new, which is Trump's elected. We have a gay man. What's your feeling about it? Because we've already talked about the Mexican comments to death. But we have a brand. What the fuck

is the matter with you? No, no, no. I'm right here for it. Because somebody's got to guide the conversation. You can put on CNN today, and you're going to hear things people have been talking about for years. People are interested in this stuff. Do you think some fucking Somebody's got to guide the conversation You can put on CNN Today And you're going to hear things people have been talking about for years People are interested in this stuff Do you think some fucking listener on the day after the biggest election in American history Is saying I don't want to hear this

Because in October of last year He talked about his Mexican I don't want to hear it from Noam Because he's not adding anything Let's hear about it What does a comedy seller comic A gay comedy seller comic React to the victory of Donald Trump?

Well, I mean, it came as a shock to all of us, didn't it? Who here wasn't shocked? I was not shocked. You weren't shocked at all. I didn't think it was going to happen, but I thought there was a good possibility. There was obviously a possibility. I mean, he was there. But I mean, it was, you know, it's like taking a pulse on a patient and then being like, oh shit, this person.

This is, they're dead. The country is dead. The spirit of the country is in so many ways dead. Like this idea that we had about ourselves as this sort of progressive, you know, this country that was looking to make gains in the way of sort of open-mindedness and social progress. But Trump was open-minded about homosexual years ago. But then he grabs Mike Pence by the nuts and puts him in a VP position, and he's the antichrist.

I agree with you, but they don't do anything. He's one bullet away, but he's one bullet away, right? And there are so many people right now who would love to put a bullet in Trump's head, and if you do, you got Pence. But realistically, I agree. I don't want to dismiss what you're saying because you're obviously right. I want to put it just in perspective.

Trump, the vice president, the president can't really do anything about homosexuality. The gay marriage was a Supreme Court decision. The president cannot change that, nor would anybody even think about changing it in this point. It was a conservative court which passed, which created the right. So it's not even like it was a liberal court. The vice president can hate homosexuals all he wants.

Let's not forget Barack Obama was against gay marriage until, you know, three years ago. It's an issue which symbolically as a homosexual or as a Jew would bother me to know that the vice president doesn't like Jews. But realistically, there's no teeth in anything that the president can do vis-a-vis homosexuality. And I think that most of these people in this situation, although we'd like them to, never think, but you know what, I could be shot. And then this guy, he's just thinking, what can get me elected? This guy can win me the Midwest.

He's going to say stuff. I agree completely. But then there's the other side of that. And then there's the old Jewish adage, the fish rots from the head down. I live for that. I take it with me everywhere. But it's like if the people in the highest elected office in the country have bigoted opinions, right, and have those bigoted opinions with impunity and are happy to share them, that then gives a certain social license and a trickle-down effect to other people to have those opinions in open air. Do you know what I mean?

Which is what Dan was saying before about Vince Sprne. I don't know. Pence, I'm not even, I'm not an expert or well versed on what Pence is, how bigoted Pence is towards homosexuality beyond basically the party line, religious Christian. Pray the gay away.

Oh, Mike Pence is a big, big proponent of pray the gay away. He has funded pray the gay away camps. What is pray the gay away? Where they send homos away to

seclusion to then have a sort of like a coming to Jesus moment but specifically like negative reinforcement not involuntarily we're going to make you achieve an erection by looking at a naked picture of a guy and now we're going to zap you like Clockwork Orange

it worked in Clockwork Orange it just made me kinkier. Now you need to be zapped. Try the wine. You've got to. I will say that as a sometimes practicing straight man, that the gay issue... I will say this.

We've had homophobic presidents before. We've had no gay marriage before. And it was all right. No, no, no. But the climate in the country still, like, homos were. You know what I'm saying? I'm saying I've been there. We've been there.

We've done that. It was smear the queer time. We've been there and we've done that. So it doesn't scare me as much as. It doesn't scare you, Dan. Let me ask you this question. You're all scared. I understand what I'm saying. It doesn't scare me as much as... It doesn't scare you, Dan. Let me ask you this question. I understand what I'm saying.

It doesn't scare me. I'm 6'1", and I'm built like a brick. I want to ask you a question. If you knew that, if you believed that under Hillary's policies, the country would grow very, very slowly as it has, and there'd be a real unemployment rate of like 10%, 11%, you know, unemployment. But under the Trump administration, we'd have

4-5% growth and you know, everybody would have jobs and wages would be going up. A stark contrast. Right. Would you still then Like two steps back socially but you know, three steps back. Not even stepping back socially but you knew that the guy who was going to bring

who was going to be responsible for all these struggling people, having more money, more food on the plates, better, all this stuff, but he was a pray-the-gay-away guy. Yeah. Would you still vote against the pray-away guy? I would be. And is that fair to the people who have to live under the policies, which

are going to mean that they have no hope? Yeah, no, I'm sorry that they have no hope. I wouldn't want to encourage whoever was galvanized to put that person to office. I wouldn't want... See, I'm the opposite. I would vote for the anti-Semite. Yeah, you would.

Of course. Even though I knew... If I thought, listen, this is going to be great for the country, business is going to be better, the economy is going to be better, people are going to have jobs. He doesn't like Jews. I'm saying to to myself, alright, what can he do about it no one's coming up I would not wish

to have that choice but I would vote for the anti-Semite I'll go see a Mel Gibson movie if it's a good movie I do hear what you're saying in that regard and that's the way I feel about it and this is can I bring up, just popped in my mind before, the one other thing about the Clintons, which I think helped is disgusting, and personally offends me in particular,

the Democratic Party, as we all know, has been railing against people who make $250,000 or more, wants to raise their taxes. And whenever anybody goes, it's greed. The greed of the top 1%. Greed, greed, greed. If you have a commencement address that you want Bill Clinton to speak at, Bill Clinton who has $250 million,

more money than his great-great-great-grandchildren will ever be able to go through. I mean, literally, might as well have Monopoly money because everything in the world is free to him. Pajama money. Sure, I'll speak at your graduation if you'll give me $200,000. Absolutely. What the fuck is that?

He can't go and speak for free or for 10 grand. Do you know how much it costs to have Rihanna sing at your wedding? That's not the point. She doesn't come and criticize people for being greedy. The whole party, they're based on criticizing entrepreneurs. People who devote their, you know, people take a risk. They save a million dollars and they risk it all on a restaurant.

And if the restaurant succeeds, they get to keep 40 cents on the dollar. And if the restaurant fails, they lose a million dollars. And they have a good year, they don't want their taxes raised. The greed, blah, blah, blah, blah. The same, those same people won't even fucking speak

at a commencement address for less than $200,000. The fucking hypocrisy is rank. Well, I, and that's why I hate them. Well, I, first of all,

I don't remember her saying that people that want lower taxes are greedy. They all are. You've never heard that. No. No, that's a running line. They say, well, we should all pay our fair share. And the Clintons...

The fair share? Of course everybody should pay their fair share. What a controversial statement. You know, look, I don't see the contradiction there, that one can be for higher taxes and try to make the money that they make. Then let me take out the taxes altogether. Because they'd be paying the higher taxes too.

Do you find anything disgusting about Bill Clinton without the tax issue being worth $250 million charging hundreds of thousands of dollars for speeches? No. I don't see it. People make money. People are entitled to make money. I mean the Clinton Foundation, if you ought to I'll talk about the Clinton Foundation.

Into his pocket. Right. Whatever. You make money. Everybody makes as much as they can. No, not everybody does that. A lot of people, Trump is making as much as he can with his buildings. A lot of people will

donate money to charity. Well, I assume they donate their money, they donate money to charity, but that's how he makes his money. He speaks. Trump makes his money

by building buildings and he builds those buildings and he doesn't let people live there for free and that's fine. And he doesn't pay taxes. And that's fine. We'll get to that.

He does pay taxes. That's fine for Trump to make billions of dollars. I applaud it. It's also fine for the Clintons to give speeches and make money. It's fine for Louis C.K. to make hundreds of thousands of dollars at a corporate gig. I give you too much credit. That's all fine. I give you too much credit.

Let me tell you something. We're going to find out now how many of those people who were donating to the Clinton Foundation were donating because they really wanted to help the Haitians, and how many were buying influence? I predict that now that Hillary, just like Eddie Brill on the Letterman Show, now that Hillary doesn't have that position anymore, and there's no chance of being president, no one's going to be donating to the Clinton Foundation anymore,

and nobody's going to be paying Bill Clinton $600,000 for speeches anymore, because it was all selling influence. There's a lot of bitter donors today. I mean, last night and today, there are a lot of people sucking salt. A lot of people. And pretending you're a public

servant. You know, the big mistake you're making is that when you're a businessman, you're a fucking businessman. When you're a public servant, be a fucking public servant. If you want to be a public servant, have a fiduciary duty to your people that you chose to serve. When you have $250 million, you don't need to be charging $600,000 for a speech. It's disgusting.

It's greed. It's disgusting. Or one for you, one for me. One for you. But charging the money to Goldman, it doesn't bother me as much because that's Goldman Sachs. But he's going for universities. Well, and those universities.

I worked for Harvard. The last job I had before I became a stand-up was working for Harvard. I did. I wrote for Larry Summers. Secular stagnation. That's his big theory.

Go ahead. Is that what he's talking about? I walked him out when he resigned. But, you know, I saw them hire super expensive people for commencement. They're also corrupt. That $200,000 that's going to Bill Clinton is also really weird money.

Well, Harvard has billions. Well, right. It's a $35 billion portfolio. A low, you know, Eureka University. Bill Clinton isn't going to Eureka University. Bill Clinton is going to. He will for $200,000. For $200,000.

But Eureka University isn't going to pull that out of their ear. They're going to, you know, get like Zendaya. I have never seen... I don't know how much money George Bush has earned in the eight years he's been out of office or tried to earn. $250 million a human. That you can't see this as disgusting is just shocking to me. You know, I don't see it as disgusting the way you pronounce it. I see it as not the most.

He's not an American hero for doing it. I'll give you that. He's like the people that made money off of the collapse of the bond market by betting against it. These are not heroes. Those guys are smart. They say he's sundowning anyways. Dan, can't you just go back, go to Canada anyway? Well, we can all go to Canada.

I don't think they can. No, aren't you Canadian or something? My parents are... I don't want to go to Canada. I'm just saying. Because this is the problem. I'm not saying America's going to be a disaster. I'm saying I was very nervous.

Trump has put me at ease to some extent with his acceptance speech. And as time goes by, I'm less and less... Dan, can I tell you? Less and less nervous. Less and less anxious. But I'm still somewhat anxious. Number two, these colors don't run. That's number two.

Oh my God. Number three, it's fucking cold up there. And number four, I'm not a Canadian citizen. My parents were born and raised there. I'm not a Canadian citizen. If your parents were born in America, you'd be an American citizen.

It's also disgusting your parents were born in America, you'd be an American citizen. It's also disgusting because they package it in a wrapping of righteousness. That's what bothers me. Sure. Anybody looking to make money as an entrepreneur, God bless you.

But when you're selling it, it's a look how good I am. I'm doing this. I'm doing all this good for the Haitians. And by the way, on the side, could you make me a,

what do you call it? What do they give these people? Like an advisor to your board and pay me a couple hundred grand. Sure. And I'll show up to a meeting. What do you make of the fact that I don't know if this is true?

It should be illegal. Listen, I'm going to make the case why it's illegal. It's illegal to take money that's donated to a charity and use it for personal purposes. I can't say to you, give me a million dollars for Haiti and then take $100,000 and just give $900,000 to Haiti, right? I can't do that.

Every nonprofit does that. They'd put me in jail if I did that. Well, unless you have administration. If I put the money in my pocket. But you wouldn't say that you put it in your pocket. You would say that you had to buy pants so that you could go to Haiti. No, you would say that you're getting a commission. Fundraisers make commission. No, no. I'm saying that. And you do have so that you could go to a TV. No, you would say that you're getting a commission. Fundraisers make commission.

No, no. I'm saying that it is illegal to take the money that was given to charity and put it in your pocket. You have to pay yourself a salary. That's illegal. However— Well, you pay yourself a salary for fundraising. What you can do is say to the person, listen, instead of donating a million, donate $900,000. And then I'll give you a speech and give me 100,000.

Sure. And accomplish the same thing. And very often in the law, when you make an end around something like that to accomplish the same thing, they will say constructively you have still violated the law. I believe that that kind of thing is illegal, and they may still get, you know, the FBI is still investigating the Clinton Foundation, and if it's not illegal, it absolutely ought to be illegal because it's the exact same thing.

It is the exact same thing, and it should be illegal for the exact same reason that taking the money out of the charity is illegal. You're just creating a technical way to get around the law and put money in your own pocket and dress it up as charity. You don't find it disgusting? I'll salute Don Corleone. What can I tell you? Well, you've researched this matter far more than I have, obviously.

The Clinton Foundation's numbers are hairy, and they are peculiar. But their administrative overhead is giant. It's something like 42% is administrative overhead. It's ridiculous. But what are they calling administrative overhead? Everything. Everything. Chelsea's wedding. But what are they calling administrative overhead? Everything. Chelsea's wedding.

Yeah, exactly. You know, I feel like your hatred of the Clintons is out of proportion. All right. Considering that Trump, I don't think there's any evidence as much of a charitable giver of anything. He doesn't have to be. I felt this way before Trump was running. You know, but you don't have that contempt for his greed. And I'm not saying you should. No, I don't. It's a way before Trump was running. You know, but you don't have that contempt for his greed. And I'm not saying you

should. No, I don't. It's a little more transparent from Trump. For whatever it's worth, I don't think that Trump ever came out and was like, and you know, his whole show if you ever watch The Apprentice, which unfortunately I watched all 12 seasons. It's awesome. It's good TV. But you know, money ends up being generated for charities.

He has some, you know, he can demonstrate that. But at the end of the day, he sees himself as a businessman when he was sort of brought to task on the fact that he hasn't paid taxes. He's like, because I'm smart. Hillary never gave you that. There's something about Trump where he's like, yeah, and I am despicable

and business is bloody and here I am. And it is what it is. I made all this money. Isn't it awesome? That's what Trump said. Right. Milklinton wouldn't say, yeah, can you believe I got $600,000 for this speech? I'm a this money. Isn't it awesome? That's what Trump said. Right. Bill Clinton wouldn't say, yeah, can you believe I got $600,000 for this speech? I'm a smart guy. I think people have an easier time

sort of digesting that kind of candor versus sort of scratching a little under the surface and being like, By the way, Josh Kander won in, was it Jason Kander? You said Kander. Yeah, Kander. Jason Kander won a Senate seatander. Yeah, Kander, yes. Did Jason Kander

want a Senate seat? For the rest of this show, if any word triggers any kind of tangent in you, I want you to make sure to take us down that road, please. Was it Jason Kander? Sure.

Was it some Kander who wanted a Senate seat? Jason, get the basin. Plop, plop, get them up. Well. How about Melania? So how are you feeling? But we were talking about my own anxiety last night.

And I was wondering if you had similar. Yeah, it was disbelief. I think everyone was feeling disbelief. What was crazy was I was here. I was at the Village Underground. And then I was in a cab home. And between the Village Underground and the cab home, like, everything turned around.

I got out of the car. I called my partner to be like, you want me to grab some, you know, cream or anything? You call your partner? What business are you in? No, right? Hey. It's not that he is my bed partner. Oh, oh, oh. Right.

When you get home, do you say howdy? I do say howdy. I do. And we have this firm handshake, and then we sit on opposite ends of the table and we negotiate. It all changed in like 35 minutes. They say partner. I would say my husband, but I also see him as a partner. I actually think it's healthy for people to think about their significant others as partners.

Don't let my wife hear you say that. It's actually a very healthy way to think about it. It's like, you know, what do you bring? Right. Are these people showing up? Yes. Negotiations? There's a contract of sorts?

Is everyone sort of handling their part? It's not so healthy when you're the sole breadwinner and your partner. I mean, he's right. He's the sole beneficiary. He's right there. What Juanita gives you, you can't put a price on. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Yeah, that's true. Because you couldn't put a price on. Oh. Oh. Oh. Yeah, that's true. Because you couldn't earn dollar one without her behind you. I wouldn't go that far. And part of that is partnership. Is there? Yeah, with that strong woman there for you when you get home at night.

Yes. At four in the morning after flirting with the waitress. The waitress. Go ahead. Come on. Oh, God. But yeah, no. Everything just changed

in like in a half an hour. And then I got home and it was, it just got more and more grim and there were fewer and fewer possibilities and pathways for Clinton to win it. And then at three in the morning, you know, there's a concession call and there's, then you have to process the absurdity of President Trump.

You have to like say it out loud and be like, is the reality TV show is now crossed through the TV? I was going to say, Mody's a Trump supporter. Yes. For real, Mody? And Mody is not a conservative on matters of sexual... Anything. Sexuality.

Fill in the blank. I believe everyone should be able to do what they want to do in their privacy of their own bedroom. Anything else you feel like? How do you feel about Trump winning? You've been saying all along Trump would win. Trump didn't win. It's America won.

Oh, shit. It's people who... We weren't expecting to hear that today. No, but they did. They did. They said enough is enough. We can't have the same stuff again and the broken promises.

America, it happened to have the vessel was Trump. That's all. Okay, thank you, Modi. Can somebody get Val? I will say I do think that this is huge, to use a Trump word, not just in the short term. I think we'll see repercussions in Europe. I think we're going to see nationalist parties.

Why are you shaking your head, Noam? Well, no, I was actually just going to ask you about that. So we've been talking about the domestic part of it, but what about the international? What about Iran? What about the nuclear program? I mean, that's a big... They're having elections there soon,

and they have their high know, their high, their, what are their two groups? This is what I think. The moderate. I think all the stuff about Trump domestically is overblown.

I trust our system of checks and balances. I trust the American people. I trust the Supreme Court. Trump is not, Trump will be constrained just like every president has been constrained

from doing whatever it is that he wants to do. On foreign policy, there are literally no checks. If a foreign leader says something, laughs at Alec Baldwin on SNL tomorrow night, Trump could bomb. Now, I really don't think he will. But the risk of a Trump presidency, I believe, is in the foreign arena, not domestically. I do not see

any big vulnerabilities to it. But isn't that more dangerous? Yes. That's what I said. I would hire Hillary. I would hire Hillary. That is the conservative choice. What I was getting at is the nationalist aspect

of this election that some see it, of course, we talked a lot about the alt-right when Trump was running. Now, I don't think

the average Trump voter is necessarily thinking this way, but this, to some people, was a referendum on the future demographics of America.

What's wrong with that? I didn't say there was anything wrong with that. But to some extent, this is a, it is a referendum on whether America should remain a majority European-based society, whether white people are going to become a minority, and how soon. And I think that we're going to see a lot more people openly, vocally expressing the desire for America to maintain its European majority. And I think that this is going to translate into European elections as well.

This is what I mean by the fish rotting from the head down. But I think it's actually the opposite. I think that, first of all, you're not saying that Trump is creating this attitude in people. You think he's just liberating them to express it. I think both, yeah. I think he's liberating them to express it. I think both, yeah. I think he's liberating them to express it. And I think in part this was a referendum on that question. And I generally believe that people being liberated to express how they really feel is actually the best thing all the time.

It is better. Like when Israel, to make a big analogy, when Hamas. And why you call it Israel, I was like, good. It's much better to have it open what they believe than to pretend they believe something else. If the country has a sizable racist, national, white supremacist movement out there, then by all means, let's get it out in the open because that's the only way we're going to deal with it. Or you suppress it

until it dies. You can't suppress it. I didn't say it was bad. I agree with that. I didn't say it was bad. I simply said this is... I'm sorry, Valerie. I simply said that this is going to liberate a lot of that. We'll see. I don't believe it's going to happen. I don't believe there is a...

That's why I brought up Dylan Roof. Dylan Roof, who shot up the black church, his big beef was that he couldn't find fellow white supremacists. Well, I don't think

I used the word white supremacist, Noam. I don't believe I did. Whatever fucking phrase you want to use for it is all the same people. It's not all the same people. You think there's some

KKK people saying, don't call me a white supremacist. I'll have to fight you now. There are people that are white people that don't feel like being a minority in this country. Being a minority doesn't necessarily work out well for people. All right. And I think there's a lot of people that don't wish to be a minority. And we've discussed this with...

All right. So what does that have to do with Trump? Why don't you ask Val since you brought him on? I thought you might have thoughts on that. I mean, I think it's a profound... Val's only happy being a minority in bed, if you brought this on, why instead of having a studio... I thought you might have thoughts on that. I mean, I think it's a profound... Val's only happy being a minority in bed, if you know what I mean. I think it's a profound sea change.

I think that the vaunted... What was the year they said where whites become a minority in America? 2040? Whatever year it used... 2030-something, yeah. I think that's been delayed until further notice. No, it hasn't. We have it as Valerie.

It hasn't. The number of toddlers that are minorities right now, it's higher than the number of toddlers who are. The minorities are banging away. There's nothing to stop it. It's a demographic time bomb. Like Kremlins. Immigration reform can change the composition. Not really.

It's like thinking that climate change can be averted by shutting down a few factories. Go ahead. Come on, Val. Valerie is, I'm sorry, Valerie. Not really. It's like thinking that climate change can be averted by shutting down a few factories. Go ahead. Come on, Val. Valerie is... I'm sorry, Valerie. Valerie, I was talking

to before the show. This is our manager, Valerie. She does a fine job. I heard she burst into tears last night. Yeah. Well, tell us why. I woke up in tears

because I was so happy and proud to be voting for a woman, that there was finally a woman on the ballot. I was. And then I was in tears by 11 o'clock at night. It was sad to see that Trump was winning and that he was going to be the next president.

My friend's daughters were watching with us, their 10-year-old twins. And one of them said, does this mean if Trump wins that my friends in school who are Muslim have to leave? And we're upset. And it's like, how do you explain that to children? That's what's sad and scary. That is a sad story. It's really sad.

But just tell them no, of course not. You know, but they're scared. They don't know. It's sad for young women, though. What do you think about that? My son asked me, does this mean we get to go meet the president? Well, I thought you were going to say

my son asked me. I don't know where he got that from, and I told him, no, it doesn't mean we can go meet the president. I'm saying that what comes out of a 10-year-old's mouth is not a reason to go there. I thought you were going to say, no, as my son asked me, does this mean I get to grope women? But in any case, you talk about a delayed reaction.

Of course he holds a restaurant. Of course he gets to grope women. What do you think about that, Noam? What? This notion that, you know, I know that when the Supreme Court legalized gay marriage in all 50 states, your take on that was, I don't necessarily agree with it from a jurisprudence point of view, but seeing all those gay people so happy really did my heart good.

I'm wondering if a woman president, and a lot of women really, really, really they took this to them was a dream come true. Obviously not a lot because the majority of the white ones voted for Trump. Many women. He got the majority of educated women. Was it women. He got the majority of educated women.

Was it 60%? He got the majority of white women. He got 61%. Many young girls and many women across the country. Is it fair to say this was a... You said that you were crying with tears to vote for a woman. So it's fair to say

that for many, many women this was just like Obama was for many African-Americans. And I mean. Do you know the list of things Val has been crying about? Do you know how little it takes? Do you know the famous sitcom episodes that have had volunteers? Well, I'm just wondering what you think about that.

I mean, you were very happy for the gay for gay people when gay marriage became legal. So are we happy for rednecks right now? Is that the question? No, the question is as a symbol of female progress, do you think there would have been any

value in a Clinton presidency and would you have been pleased if your daughter, for example, thought, wow, I can be president? Let me answer it this way. I was very moved when Obama became president. So much so, I remember, I was listening to the inauguration

in my car, by myself, and the announcer talked about how Obama was being sworn in on the same Bible that Abraham Lincoln had been sworn on. And I began to cry in the car. I totally understand how powerful a symbol can be.

Eight years later, we've had a black president. It's made no difference whatsoever. And black people have a horrible history of discrimination in this country. Women are the majority of voters,

the majority of people in law schools. Women, they don't make as much on a dollar, but they make close as much on a dollar, but they also leave for childbirth. Everybody has a mother, a sister, and a wife. Nobody is out there saying, I've never heard some guy, there's no like, I hate women haters club, like little rascals around. I

don't know anybody who wants to keep women. I think there's a false comparison between white women and race. And if the symbol of a black man being elected president wasn't worth voting for the candidate that you don't prefer. The fact that Hillary was a woman will just have to wait until the right woman comes along. I just want to make a point. This is one of Noam's greatest hits. Have I not answered the question well? Sometimes you'd be happier if I gave you a dumb answer.

Hold on a second. The answer was a fine answer, except you accused me of something and I had to address it. One of Noam's greatest hits in addition to It's De Minimis! I have no idea what he just said. He always saysam's greatest hits in addition to, it's de minimis! Or, you know, he always says it's de minimis. That's one of his greatest hits.

I've never heard that. I think you've actually accused me of saying it more than I've actually said it. One of his greatest hits is how you can't compare racism to sexism. You asked me the question! I never compared the two. I never said they were equivalent. It was an analogy. I never said they were equivalent. But you said you can't compare them, and I didn't compare them.

And I didn't say they were equivalent. Now you're pea-brained. I didn't say they were equivalent. I was trying to... But you were trying to bring up one of your age-old topics that you always bring up. How can you compare racism to sexism? One second. What I was trying to do was to show a real-world example where we do know what it meant to have that barrier broken.

It was a symbolic game. And then try to extrapolate from that. real world example where we do know what it meant to have that barrier broken and assembled and then try to extrapolate from that. Okay, well look at what happened when a black person was elected. Now if we had seen a drastic change in the plight of black America all kinds of stuff from Broadway you say, you know what, maybe we could expect the same wonderful outcome if Hillary

were elected and that would be an argument but the fact is that we've seen it doesn't matter. Well first of all, we don't know it doesn't matter because we don't know about the lives that it touched, about maybe a young black child that went to school that wouldn't have otherwise gone to school. We don't know that, but maybe it did nothing. Fair enough. No, no, no.

I agree with everything you said, but I feel you implied that I stated an equivalency. You're just like Trump. Everything is about you. You're very thin-skinned. You can't let anything go. Could you let me finish the statement? I feel you implied that... You're just like Trump. Everything is about you. You're very thin-skinned. You can't let anything go. Could you let me finish the statement? I feel you implied that...

You finished all the statements. He finishes all the statements. I want to know what... I feel that you implied that I said that sexism and racism are the same. I didn't. I'm sorry. But there are analogous elements,

and I was addressing those analogous elements. Okay, I'm sorry. Go ahead. I wanted to know what made you cry at the end of the night last night, Val. What was it? I felt defeated.

I felt scared. I don't know how he's going to be on a global level communicating with other countries. But you mentioned to me you also feel that he's sending a signal that treating women

in a certain way is okay. Yeah, I feel like he definitely sent a message of you don't have to be respectful of women. I mean, pussy grabbing is some outlandish shit. That, to me, You heard Chappelle's take on it, right? Chappelle actually defended... Yeah, he defended it.

What, he defended the pussy grabbing? Well, because he didn't say, I grab women's pussies without their permission. He said, you can grab their pussies, which implies permission. And I don't necessarily disagree with that. And Chris Rock has a whole thing, too, about how, like, no one has ever asked for a kiss. You steal a kiss. What I've noticed, listen, but it may well be that he does.

I just want to tell Mehran something. I don't want you to think when I defend Trump that I'm blind Trump. I don't think that for a second'm blind for instance the birther thing is absolutely disgusting because it was cynical and it was unpatriotic and I was offended by that

it was one of my greatest hits I was talking about a long before he was running for president but the thing about the pussy grabbing he's describing what it's like to be a superstar. And we've all kind of had some brush with people. He says, listen, when you're a star, they let you do it. You could even grab their pussies, which is an extremely vulgar thing to say.

But if somebody had said that to me at the table, I would have taken it as kind of like an ad absurdum example of like, dude, you don't understand what it's like when you're Donald Trump or when you're Mick Jagger. And I've noticed that a bunch of people like Chappelle, like Chris Rock, like Joe Walsh from the Eagles. Who have that same. Who've kind of had that perspective. I've been a little more sympathetic to him because the truth is when you are, women do throw themselves and you get a distorted perception. But would you think to make any of those people commander in chief?

I listen. Yeah. themselves and you get a distorted perception. Would you think to make any of those people commander in chief? Listen, yeah. We have a real world empirical example of a guy who was really disrespectful to women who was an excellent president. We have a few of them. John F. Kennedy, Bill Clinton. So I would say without any equivocation

that it does not affect your ability to be commander in chief-chief one way or another. For me, it was so much more a conversation about discretion. Like, my time at Harvard, like, working in the big house, working with Larry... You're like Harrison Greenbaum.

You can't mention... You've got to mention Harvard. No, no, no, no, no. It was just where I worked. It was just where I worked. I would never have gotten in. Harvard's full of fags. I would never have gotten in.

It's amazing what you just said. But it is so much a game of discretion. It's not that you don't do bad shit. It's just that you know that you're mic'd and you don't talk about pussy grabbing with some goofball. You know, another silver spoon.

This big problem is lack of discretion and vulgarity. There are big reasons to worry that Trump could make a mess of the presidency. I don't see that as front of the house material, as a guy who's going to run off at the mouth and say things that offend more than 50% of the population. Because he's constantly on Twitter. Is that how he's going to run his presidency? Is it going to be tweeting?

I hope not, but he did say privately, so you have to, you know. Privately, but he was liked to run his presidency? Is it going to be tweeting? But the pussy rap, he did say privately, so you have to, you know. Privately, but he was mic'd. Look. What? He was still mic'd. He was doing an interview. Well, people make mistakes.

There is. Obama on an open mic said the thing about Putin. I mean, people forget. When you're in a situation with an open mic over a long period of time, you kind of forget

you have an open mic. There is. In addition to, I agree that his statement about grabbing the pussy, I wasn't scandalized by it, I wasn't outraged. I thought he was describing a phenomenon that happens when you're a celebrity, but there is some evidence, and nothing has been proven,

that he has been sexually assaulted women, and that he walked into teenage girls' dressing rooms while they were changing during a pageant. He could very well be disgusting, although we don't need to speculate because I mean, I know sex is titillating, but he made fun of a disabled guy in front of everybody in front of the cameras.

So you don't need to convince me that he's disgusting. You know, and I don't find the one any more disgusting than the other. It's embarrassing to have someone like that. And to elect that person to your figure. But if he walks away from it with some fantastic new airports, roads, and bridges,

maybe he's worth it. I like your argument. I like LaGuardia. I think it's fine. I know people dump on it. Oh my god, LaGuardia's the fucking pits. It's hell on earth. Well, it's very convenient. And I always get Auntie Anne's pretzels when I'm there. That's my guilty pleasure.

I should have gotten salmonella as well. Can I make one of those? Do you have any Auntie Anne's cinnamon nuggets? No, I haven't, Dan. Well, they're wonderful. Okay, go ahead, Noah. Can I make one more point to you as a businessman? I am very much in favor or very much believe that people should have health care.

However, I think it's ridiculous that businesses have to, it's as if businesses have to worry about people's driver's licenses and motor vehicle registrations. This is a, if government wants this, government should set up offices to administer people's health care. In the private sector, if you have a great big plan, an idea, and you roll out that plan, an idea, Amazon.com, whatever, and it's a totally flawed plan, you go broke and it's done. It disappears. In government, the danger is always the opposite.

You have a plan. It's totally unthought through. It's a mess. What happens then? You throw more money at it. You try to revise. You create an inefficient, ill-conceived behemoth, which is where Obamacare was

heading. Another big promise of the Trump administration is that now it cannot work out this way, is that they will reconsider this healthcare thing without the concern and ego of being responsible for it, which is consider this healthcare thing without the concern of the, an ego of being responsible for it,

which is very, it's very difficult because we don't want to admit they're wrong or whatever it is. And, and revise this thing from the ground up in such a way that people still can keep their preexist, you know, can't be rejected for preexisting conditions,

can keep the healthcare that it won't be on the backs of businesses. For instance, when this was whole rolling up, we were concerned about, we were constantly counting employees. We knew every additional employee now is expensive. We don't want to go over 50. That can't be good for the economy. So this is another possible good thing that could come out of a Trump administration, which was never going to come out of a Hillary administration. So again, I'm not saying Trump's going to be a good president. I'm saying there are real areas where he could

make a wonderful difference because he's not an ideologue. He doesn't belong to any party. He doesn't owe anybody anything. He could just come out and say, listen, get me the best guys in the world with the best ideas about healthcare. Let's get in a room. Tell me what the... I hope to God he does. And I don't give a shit

if the Democrats or Republicans are not for it because they didn't elect me. So you know that's dicey. Like you could get an economist like Larry Summers who would say that you know selling our nuclear waste

to third world countries is impeccable. Right? Like as in there are economists who think about these things in sort of greener sort of healthier ways

and there are economists who think you know let's step on everyone and make sure that we come out solvent. This is healthcare, it's not nuclear waste. You're right. But the thing is, with Hillary, what we know

is that it's going to be exactly what I said. We know Obamacare's a mess. Nobody likes it. We hear people, we know that doctors are dropping, it's a fucking... And how is Hillary... She's going to try to patch it, throw more money at it. It's going to be a disaster. We know that. With Trump, it may equally be a disaster.

Or maybe not having any stake in it and being a dealmaker as opposed to an ideologue, maybe they'll come up with something better. I'm not predicting that. I'm saying it's a perfectly reasonable outcome of this kind of scenario where you have a guy who is not beholden to any political party, brags about making deals, is flexible about these things, and only wants to

accomplish something. And believe me, ego, his egomania is a very strong motivator to accomplish these things. Right, I was saying that to someone. He doesn't want to, no egomaniac says, I want to just make a mess of the presidency and everybody think I sucked. And Noam, you did bring up a good point,

an interesting point, and I don't poo-poo everything Noam says, contrary to what Noam might think. Let me write this down, go ahead. You said even, you asked, I forgot who you asked, but you said even if Trump could accomplish great things, but he was still a disgusting pig of a man, would you vote for him anyway?

Yes. And that's an interesting question, and it's a balancing act. Obviously, it depends how disgusting and despicable and how great the things that he's going to accomplish. If he actually is a rapist, and we don't know that he is... You're obsessed with this rapist thing.

Oh, the 13-year-old. She dropped it. No, no, he's had other accusations of sexual impropriety. Not rape. Okay, fine. Sexual assault. If he is a sexual assaulter No, he's had other accusations of sexual impropriety. Not rape. Sexual assault. If he is a sexual assaulter, but he's going to give us a couple new airports, I would say that's not enough. Dan, I've seen you guilty of the same sexual assaults

at table 131. No, you haven't. You've seen me the victim of such sexual assault. Let me ask Val a question. Dan's had a pussy grab. You loved it. Would you say that every woman, and don't take this wrong, anybody.

Would you say that every woman in their life at one point has some guy grab at their breast and you say, get the fuck off, man. You got to. Yes. That is basically the kind of stuff that Trump is accused of. It's disgusting. Would you say that someone should go to jail for that? It depends on

the nature of the situation, how far the assault went. But I described it. You tell them, get the fuck away from me and the guy stops. I don't know that I would press charges

in that situation. Do you believe that? I have very controversial beliefs Has anybody ever gone to jail for that? I mean, I actually like it when someone's a little aggressive with me.

I mean, like, if all of a sudden that were taken off the menu, I think I'd be bummed out. I'm being 100% real. That complicates things. You know what I mean? Every time I'm on the train, I'm like, this is it.

Fingers are crossed. I'm like, come on. How do you validate yourself if that goes away? How do you know you're still hot? I've been trying to get molested for decades. Where's Modi? He's doing the molesting. My only point is, and I know it could sound wrong,

is that this term sexual assault, although maybe that's technically the right thing, it's a very, very broad term. To use the same term to describe rape to a kind of boorish guy who puts his hand, paws a girl, and she says, get the fuck out of here. Well, it can be.

But that's right. It's almost spinning it to try to sound worse than it is. That girl on the airplane, for instance, she actually said, well, if he had kept it above the waist,

I might have been okay with it. But, you know, she's sexually assaulted, right? And so is some little girl alone. I mean, you can't compare it to rape because that's demeaning to actual rape victims. You can't. So, yes. I mean, you can't compare it to rape because that's demeaning to actual rape victims. You can't.

Alright, fair enough. The word rape was inappropriate. I don't know what Trump's guilty of and what he's not guilty of. What he's accused of. Unwanted sexual advances. If you take the 13-year-old thing off the table, which she took off the table, because that's serious.

Well, yeah, because it's a minor. You're left with a bunch of descriptions that like half the guys I know have done shit like that, you know. To minors? No, no. And they're disgusting. But, you know, it happens every day. No, let me ask you. It's nothing compared to what JFK was doing.

No, you would ask the question if Trump was you know, personally horrible but could do great things. I'm going to ask you the question. If you knew that Trump had indeed raped a 13-year-old girl, but you knew that he could indeed create 5% growth, what would you...

The truth is, I would think that the right thing to do would be to create the 5% growth. But I know that that could never happen. But the fact is, if I'm some schlub who's suffering and can barely pay, can't feed his family,

and the result is I'm going to be able to send my kid to school and have a nicer house, it's not fair to me that I have to be denied that because Trump, you're not going to unrape the girl. I mean, just speaking in cold, hard terms, what's most important is the lives of struggling people. That is the most important.

And it's hard to wrap your mind around that because it sounds so horrifying to say, well, but even if you're right, but, you know, if nobody could pin the decision on me, like, I wouldn't have to defend it. I would absolutely choose what was better for the struggling people. And then I would say, I can't believe they put that rapist in there.

We should probably appeal every sort of rape arrest that's in the system. Be like, you know what? He might just turn it around for us under that auspice. You know, it's really a question in the primaries more than the general election. Because in the primaries, when you have 16 Republicans there, who have basically shades of the same, that's the time to weed out the rapists,

you know? It's really awkward. That's the time to weed out the rapists. It really gets awkward when you have to do it in the last two weeks of the election, you know?

Yes, that is awkward. Awkward. I can't say you're wrong with that analysis. I might do the same. I don't think that's what we're... Let's make it easier.

If Bill Cosby came in here Should I put him on Dan? This is one of your greatest hits Well this is one of my greatest hits But what a sweet tune it is Because it's his That's why it's so sweet And you never really get tired of hearing it

I'm curious I don't think so It's like your own farts I don't think that you should Because I don't think that it would be particularly good for the club. And the club doesn't need it. But what if it would be really good for the club? Well, really good for the club.

What if it meant that I'd be able to afford college for my kids and without it I couldn't? Do I put the rapist on? Of course I put the rapist on. Are you seeing these protests that are going on? I'm just confused as to what these people are doing in college. What are they hoping to achieve? I hope there's violence.

I hope every single thing they accuse the Trump supporters of being, they reveal themselves to be when the shoe is on the other foot. Well, of course it is, though. I mean, when you're sort of confronted with this level of hate, the emotion it inspires is not peace. I am not that. I'm not a Buddhist. Last question.

What do you think about this? What did you think about? We can go along because this will be on podcast. We can go as long as we want. What did you think about? Can I say that? What did you think about? He'll cut it out.

What do you think about Hillary, you know, railing against Trump and all his vulgarity all this time? He's unfit. Bringing Jay-Z on stage, who has a history of saying all this... A drug dealer and a murderer. A drug dealer and a murderer. I know he's a murderer.

Is that true? Murderer. Talking about women as bitches and all that. I'm presuming. Isn't this the most condescending liberal attitude towards black people? Although I believe Hillary and liberals sincerely do care about

the plight of the black American. I don't think they're lying about that. They care about them like they're little children. They don't think they should expect the same thing of them. Of course, Trump can't say that because he's a white man and a white man should know

better, but I'll bring Jay-Z on stage with me and put my arm around him because I know he said disgusting stuff, but that's a white man, and a white man should know better. But I'll bring Jay-Z on stage with me and put my arm around him because I know he said disgusting stuff, but that's a black guy. We don't hold him to the same standards. That was kind of like an embarrassing mom at the school dance trying to do the running man. Well, because she was still at that moment grasping at straws because the investigation was still going on. It boggles the mind.

And she still lost Georgia. The identity politics. And on. It boggles the mind. And she still lost Georgia. The identity politics. And Louisiana. And Alabama. I mean, it would never happen. If Hillary said, I don't want Jay-Z on stage with me because he said X, Y, and Z about women. That would be perceived as a slight against the black community. That's right.

It would be perceived as racist. And now you begin to know how Trump voters feel. Everything is racist. I don't think Hillary was that plugged in to even know that much about Jason. Yes, she was. I don't know. Well, yes, you're right. I mean, political correct.

The people are in her campaign. The Trump voters are tired of being called racist. Do you know how many nights Hillary, how many nights do you think Hillary was out on the road during this campaign? How many nights do you think she was out on the road during this campaign? How many nights do you think she was out on the road? Not much. How many? Five. It was zero. Zero.

She flew home every night. Trump had a certain point about her lack of stamina. There is a... No, no, he did. It was a bit of a bubble. Like, she also lives in a bubble. Like, when she was on the radio and she talked about having hot sauce in her bag,

like, that wasn't her trying to appropriate... That was real. That was real talked about having hot sauce in her bag, like that wasn't her trying to appropriate. That was real. That was real. She carries hot sauce in her bag. She wasn't saying she has hot sauce in her bag swag. She wasn't, you know, giving you formation. She got a bum rap for that. Right.

She got a bum rap for that. But she lives in a bubble to a certain extent. I think Trump is in less of a bubble than her. She has a staff around her whose job is to consider these things, and they vet everybody. And believe me, when you bring a rapper on stage with you, you know to check his lyrics. I'm not buying it.

Just like when you have a server and your staff tells you that they think it's being hacked, we turned off the power, you know not to just turn the power on the next day and pretend it didn't happen, no matter how old you are. My grandmother would know that. Hillary knows that. The lyrics part didn't even bother me. It was like the fakeness of it.

That's what bothered me about the Jay-Z thing. By the way, Noam elected not to participate in one of the most historical elections in American history. Historic. Historic elections in American history. I think we've had this argument before. Yeah, we have. About being pedantic.

Historic versus historical. But in any case, you did not vote. There's no argument. You did not vote. Is that correct? I did not vote. But Noam has stated. New York was going to go blue.

You know, that's an interesting point because I was wondering, because Hillary seems to have won the popular vote. I was wondering if that's not really just because in the big, huge blue states where there's not a single race, which is any question that the Democrats going to win that Republicans or anybody who might vote Republican just doesn't bother to vote. I think there's some of that. In Ohio, the turnout is twice as high because there's a race. But, Noam, you had said that you would hire Hillary for the job. I don't believe you. I believe that had you been forced to vote,

you might hire Hillary for the job, but had you been forced to vote yesterday, I do believe you would have voted for Donald Trump. Now, look me in the eye, and I will... No. You're saying you would not have. You would have voted for would... You would have voted for Hillary. I would have voted for Hillary. And, okay, fair enough.

But I'm so happy she lost. But you're so happy. So happy. Well, I hope that your happiness... Would you have rather Bernie? I know that's a shitty question. No, he hates Bernie. Not hates him as a person, but hates his politics.

Bernie Sanders is, I believe, knows nothing about anything. But I like Bernie Sanders. Well, Noam, I hope your happiness... At least he's sincere. I like sincerity. I hope your happiness continues. I hope that the economy doesn't go into shitter, that tourists stop coming,

and that this club doesn't go under. You don't believe in trickle-down economics, I thought. Well, I thought... Trump doesn't trickle-down economics. Does anybody believe in trickle-down economics? You're going to believe in it when the comedy seller starts doing poorly. People need to laugh now.

Obviously. People don't believe in trickle-down economics. They all know what's good for the boss is never good for the employee. Except they believe in it when the boss all of a sudden goes out of business. Oh shit, it trickled down to me. I only believe in it one way. That's not quite what trickle-down theory is.

It's exactly what it is. Trickle-down theory is more about lower taxes leading to ultimately greater... The idea of the boss having money, disposable resources to give raises, invest, whatever it is. I'm not sure that that's quite what people mean by trickle-down economics. But in any case, I do hope that your hopes in Trump are justified. I want to say to anybody that would denounce me to the Trump secret police that I have nothing against the man. He's really paranoid. I was only kidding, obviously.

Listen, we Jews have this in our genes. I was talking to my friend alone. His son came to me and said, does this mean there's going to be a second Holocaust? His 12-year-old son. And he says, it's just in our genes. Jews are just frightened little... So going back to what Dan was asking

before, what if you knew that Trump had a plan for a specific anti-Semitic policy? He's out of here. But that you don't think he could get through Congress. But you I wouldn't. He's out of here. But that you don't think he could get through Congress. But you don't think he could get it through Congress. And he could do other great things.

And you'd get your new airport that you so love, that you so want. You'd have to travel in the luggage to use it. But you would get a new airport. I've never studied philosophy. And they would have not only an anti-ant, they would have a Chevy's. I've never... It would be an anti-

semi-pretzel place. I've never studied philosophy, but I'm aware of the theory of utilitarianism and I think that you know, the idea of looking at the pros and cons of what will the effects be on real

people and then making your decision is probably more compelling logic than just like, oh, this sounds really offensive, so therefore he's out of here, you know? And by the way, does any... Ideally, you don't have to make these choices, you know? Getting back to trickle-down, does any economist accept trickle-down?

Yes, yes, yes. Even Nobel Prize winners. We're getting the wrap-up segment. We've got to wrap it up. I think that's... I think it's a minority view among economists but in any case well I'm

I you know I'm hoping for the best I feel better I thought Noah made some very good points and I hope that Trump doesn't I hope that Trump doesn't fuck it up and I think he's a bit of an unhinged lunatic,

but hopefully he won't fuck things up. So, Valerie, do you have any thoughts? I'm hopeful that he's now realizing, oh, shit, I'm the president. And it's a little different having an idea of what being the president is and actually being the president now that he's being briefed on everything. And I'm hoping that he takes this transition period as a learning process of what the job really entails. It's a different story.

I'm hoping for the best. I'm really hoping for the best. You know what we didn't talk about? I feel so bad for Barack Obama. Yes. He is... He has to hand that over to him. Well, no, that too too after the birth of things

on a human level but there will be nothing left of his legacy other than the mistakes that they can't wipe away

like Syria or whatever it is so that eight years from now when the next president is like is being criticized about Syria

just like they do about Bush now he's gonna say it's not my fault Obama got us into this he did get bin Laden. Nobody's going to care about that. And he gave us eight years

of Michelle. He's not the only one with no legacy. Millard Fillmore. Rutherford B. Hayes. Millard? He put certain things into place. We were poised to have it really for the concrete to set. And not only were the concrete set on some of his domestic policies,

but they were going to appoint a liberal Supreme Court. This would have been a real setting of an Obama legacy. Instead, it's done. And the reason it's done is because it's entitled Hillary Clinton, who had to be president. She was a flawed candidate, but she's a Clinton. Super dirty in the primaries. Everybody out of my way because I'm entitled to this because I'm Hillary Clinton.

I have to believe there's at least a little misogyny in this hostility that you have. The sentence I didn't even finish was they wouldn't even let Elizabeth Warren run. That was actually the sentence I was going to finish. And honestly, so many people who wound up super tight about Hillary being female, if some of the things that came out about Hillary had come out about a male candidate, I think a lot of women would have turned on Hillary

in a big, big way. I don't buy the Hillary misogyny argument too strongly. Do you notice that all my managers are women and I'm not banging any of them? Way to go, Noam. Now? Does that sound like a misogynist to you? I haven't categorically stated you're a misogynist.

I'm analyzing. Your hostility toward Hillary, there's a flavor to it that I can't quite explain. But it's anecdotal. You can't say. I feel like Donald would. I don't think he hates her because she's a woman. No, but I'm wondering if he were a man with the same exact everything.

Would there be this level? When he speaks of her, there's a tone in his voice and I just wonder whether there's not. I think it's a disdain for the Clintons. Especially her. Yeah.

Much more than him. I mean, I really, I really, when she said, when they said, did you have the server wiped? Oh my God.

Did you have the server wiped with a cloth? Oh my God, he keeps, it reverberates me because if some waitress or if someone worked for me, if I said, did you?

And they said, do you mean with a club? I say, get the fuck out of here. You're fired. I mean, I really, it would set me off in an instant. Like that, how fucking contemptible are you of the American people to say something like that? Like that is so disqualifying. Give me an example of a male candidate saying something like that. But is she the one that's actually doing that? Or was there someone who worked for her that was clearing her emails?

Yeah, it was her. Do we know that for a fact? Do we know that for a fact? Yes, he's talking about the fact that she said that. The emails don't even bother him. Just come out and say, listen, I screwed up. I started with this thing. She did that. You know, it's very difficult to do business.

And it just kind of mushroomed and I ended up with all these emails. I'm really sorry. Here's my emails. I have nothing to hide. Done. Don't turn it into a year-long ordeal, destroying devices, emailing laptops, deleting emails, and then have people like Dan somehow say, I'm not sure if she did anything.

Who behaves like that? I've said this a million times. If tomorrow the IRS or the sales city of New York comes in and wants my sales, and they come a week later and they find out. Coming in at number nine on the countdown. If they come in a week later and find that I've deleted all my sales off my micros register in that week since they asked me for it, do you think anybody's going to say,

well, we're not sure if he knew what he was doing. I mean, he's not very technically savvy. Come on now. I mean, as great sins went in this election, that wasn't the worst. But you don't know what she deleted. I don't know what she deleted. And I saw some of what she didn't delete

and it was disconcerting. It didn't make me feel good that she sort of, you know, courted the press before the primaries and sort of— Have you stopped to just conceive it? Because sometimes I like to visualize it. You're the Secretary of State of the United States of America. This is the greatest country in the history of the world with the most important secrets, nuclear, drone strikes, everything. You're the Secretary of State. And you were doing business via email.

That's what you have to do in 2016. So you set up a cheap Dell server in your closet in your house in Chappaqua. And the nation's business is going back and forth. How absurd is this? If you just really stop and think about it for a second, the Secretary of State of the United States of America sets up a private rinky-dink server in a closet, and this is the bottleneck where all our business is being done.

But this doesn't mean... That's not a good quality for a competent executive. But it doesn't make her a C-word, necessarily. Oh, my God. Well, I'm just saying there's a difference between incompetent and detestable. Noam detests her. Not because he feels she's incompetent, but because he feels she's morally flawed. I detest someone who would do that and then pretend that I'm a misogynist for complaining about it.

And then, and then again, spinning out a whole group of flacks of the half the nation's political class defending the indefensible to gaslight us. Essentially, maybe we're the crazy ones here. Maybe she really didn't do it. Of course she did something wrong. Of course it's ridiculous to do the nation's business in a little server in your closet. Of course, when they found a C marking, I didn't know what the C stood for. Well, did you notice there was no A, B, or D, that it was just a C alone? So they said to her, well, did you get the classified briefing?

Do you recall, you know, when you start out, she says, well, yeah, but, you know, I had amnesia. She said, I had a concussion at the time, so I had a lot of memory loss from that. This is all true. How did I not hear about amnesia? I didn't hear about amnesia either. You Google about memory loss. When they asked her, did you remember the briefing on how to handle

classified material, she said it was right around the time she fell on her head, she didn't remember. I mean, it's just... I mean, Reagan got away with that for like a year and a half. Nobody should get away with that. Bush got away with losing hundreds of thousands of emails. 200 and something thousand. And Hitler got away with killing 6 million Jews is not the point.

The point is on the face of it. He just said Hitler-y. Did you hear it? I think he just said Hitler-y. I think he said Hillary. Hitler got away with killing. Listen, another one. Hitlery.

Hitlery. When a waitress doesn't ring something up, are you going to let her slide because she says the bartender didn't ring something up? Are you going to let her bring it up? It's irrelevant. Right. We got to end this because we're going to do this for hours and hours. I loved it.

He's a great guest. Thanks, Dom. If you learn his last name. Mehran Kurgabni. Not only a great guest, but a great guy. Thanks, Dan. And a great American. Thank you.

As soon as I get my papers, that'll be true. Oh, you're not American? You don't have papers? I have a green card. A green card. Well, and... Whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay. Yeah, you're not American? You don't have papers? I have a green card. A green card. Yeah. Well, and... Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Okay. Yeah, I was born in Green Bay. I do think Noam gave short shrift to the discussion about this election as somewhat racially... The point was made by one commentator, I forgot who it was, that white people voted like a minority. David Duke, probably. No, it wasn't David Duke. I think you're right. Because white people are bashed every single day.

They're actually creating a white nationality that didn't exist before because everything else is white privilege, white this, white his. White guilds. White guilds. Everything is racism. Everything else is white privilege, white this, white this, white guilt. Everything is racism. We're ashamed of our history. So then a logical extension of that is white people don't wish to become a minority, perhaps. And I wonder how much that— Nobody wishes to become a minority. They were galvanized.

When I mentioned that, you didn't seem to think that that was an important factor. Like I said, I don't think— Of course, I don't know how important a factor it was, but I think it was a factor. When black people lament that Harlem is becoming white and losing its black character, nobody says, oh my God, how dare they? Nobody wants to become a minority.

I don't know. I mean, as we know, he won a majority of college-educated whites all over the place. But the fact is, I think that white... I don't know if we get through the whole thing. In 1986, the country was almost completely white. And Reagan had an amnesty.

And the country approved that amnesty. And the deal with the amnesty was, we're going to give everybody green cards, legalize everybody, and then we are going to make sure that the border is controlled and this will not happen again. Over the next 30 years, it all went to hell in a handbasket to the point where the white Europeans, who founded the country and had built the country, found themselves about to become a minority in their own country, not only a minority in their own country, but a ridiculed minority country, blamed for everything. And they said to themselves, listen, not only do we not want this, we never even voted for this.

As a matter of fact, when any issue came before the electorate that implicated this, we voted the other way. We voted to not have this outcome. Now we have the outcome rammed down our throat, and now we're being criticized for not wanting it. Who would want, Ann Calder got criticized for this kind of racist comment she made, but that you have a trajectory of a nation, through the 90s, which is doing well and everybody's happy with, and people on the right and the left, they feel unified as one nation. And all of a sudden they wake up one day where the trajectory of the nation now is going to go to a different direction because of the weight of an immigrant vote that wasn't supposed to be there to begin with.

And now, you know, like, It's a Wonderful Life, like jimmy stewart movie like if you imagine if this didn't happen we'd be going along in this way like star trek reboot it's like no they reboot the name now we're going to go in this direction and it's because of a total different population that we're bringing in and of course there there's like i'm unhappy about this i i like the direction we were going it was successful we had the option of bringing in these other populations, and we said, no, we don't want that. A small number per year, but not enough to upset the whole apple cart. And on top of which, as opposed

to the immigrants, which we all came from immigrants, who came here and Dan doesn't like it, but the conversation came here like to be American. No, I didn't. When did I ever oppose it? I think you're exaggerating it, but I never opposed it. Like my father, I'm first generation. My father was an immigrant.

He revered Thomas Jefferson and George Washington. He was an immigrant. We had Thanksgiving. But I just had a long conversation with Tony, my Mexican employee. He's like, no, Donald Trump is right. We come here to make money. We work harder than anybody. But we don't consider ourselves American.

And America doesn't necessarily always treat consider ourselves American. And, you know, America doesn't necessarily always treat them like Americans. No, no. Even when they have papers. He's saying that he doesn't come here to be American. No, he said, because, you know, and he says, because I text home for free, I go back and forth, I'm going to go back eventually, it's only right next door. Do you know what it meant to

immigrate to America in the 1930s? You left the old country behind. And you never went back. There was no option of going back. When I was a kid, you could barely even make a long-distance phone call. You were starting a new life in a new country, and you became part of America.

That's the last thing I say. The traditional model was always the melting pot America was very happy to be a melting pot you don't hear melting pot so much anymore now it's mosaic mosaic is not a model for success Yugoslavia was a mosaic

Canada is a mosaic where the French and the English are always talking about secession there's mosaics all over the world coming apart. It is a blind leap of faith to say that America as a mosaic will succeed. It may. I hope it does.

It may not. It may not. In a nation where everybody is emphasizing their differences, where everybody, where their most important thing is diversity, everything is about identity and identity politics. Why is that? I mean, of course we're a divided country. We don't even consider ourselves part of the same country. But why did, when I brought this up earlier,

you kind of, I guess you weren't ready to talk about it at that time. But this is obviously something you feel very strongly about. I thought you might. And you know what? I'm giving one side of the argument. I could give the other side of the argument too. What I feel strongly about, and I hope they don't, is that the people who are making these arguments should be allowed to make these arguments without just cutting them off at the knees by calling them racist. Because there are real arguments to be made. Or we can go blindly down and then come apart just like Yugoslavia or some other country that doesn't live well together and say, oh shit, it turned out there really was

a problem here. I mean, a lot of people who have been disenfranchised for a long time, there's been a 30 year depression in this country, in middle America, where people were just getting poorer and poorer and cities are falling apart. Those people

were felt spoken to by Donald Trump and they didn't feel spoken to by Hillary. And I think that's what we saw a lot of. And then if people can rally around that, if people can sort of, you know, realize that everybody needs to start talking to everybody, I think that if that happens over the next four years, then this wasn't a complete wash. And everybody needs to respect everybody. Everybody needs to respect

what people identify as their problems and their issues. That's not what, when a white person in Indiana talks about their, or in Arizona talks about their issues, they're not respected. They're just chalked off as racist. You don't want this.

You don't want outside. These people weren't galvanized by hate. And that's scary. But I agree because I felt like today, I woke up and I felt like I've been living in a bubble of being born and raised in New York, living here, that I didn't know how people in middle America are feeling. I didn't know that people are feeling this strongly about things.

I really didn't. And so for me, it felt like a wake-up call. And I do give them credit for being able to tap into that and to connect with people who felt disenfranchised, who aren't educated, and perhaps don't have that voice. They are educated. That's the secret.

But there's also a lot that aren't. He had the largest percentage of non-college degree white males as well. He's getting, he's drawing from everywhere. Okay, good night everybody. Good night.

Good night. Well, alright, I thought we were, this was a special election day. I got another radio show to do now. Keep talking, Dan. Are we still going? Do you want a little monologue?

Bill O'Reilly? I want to hear what Dove has to say. Dove doesn't want to talk. Dove's got nothing to say. Dove has a career to worry about. Thank you. I had a great time. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I don't know.