The Comedy Cellar: Live from the Table - Gary Gulman and Kyle Dunnigan

Episode Date: January 28, 2016

Gary Gulman and Kyle Dunnigan

Welcome to the Comedy Cellar show here on Sirius XM. Comedy hits 99. Now you may you may wonder why is Natterman announcing this. Usually Noam starts to show up. Well, Noam's not here today. I'm not sure where he is. Kristen Montella is with us. Do you know where Noam is? I believe he's in Vegas. What's he doing in Vegas? Well, in any case he's not here so I am now am now in full control, along, of course, with Kristen Montella. And so now I can run this show exactly the way I want to. And as I've been saying for a long time now, I'm going to take us in another direction. We're going all classic rock, something I've been wanting to do.

And we're going to start things off with a Led Zeppelin block. But seriously, folks, today's Election Day, not the day that this is airing, but the day that we're recording. It's Tuesday the something. Fourth. Whatever it is. But it's Election Day, and I really didn't even know that until I started going on my Twitter feed, and people were like, get out to vote, it's important to vote. And I'm like, wow, all right.

I didn't know, but it's Election Day, and I didn't vote. How about yourself? No, I did not vote. I didn't even know it was Election Day until I showed up at work and there was no housekeeping staff. Because I work in a city for the city. Well, I work in a building that's city-owned. So the housekeeping is city-employed, and so they head off today. It seems like people are taking this Election Day seriously because I see a lot of people on Twitter and Facebook,

maybe just the people on my feed, saying it's important to vote. How many of those people are really getting out and voting? Or they just like to be a part of what's going on? I don't know. Well, I'm not sure. But I will say that I've never been a big believer in this notion that it's important to vote. I think it's important to vote if you have an opinion and it's educated. But I'm an ignoramus on these matters.

I've made no secret of this. I'm right there with you. I don't even know who's running. So why would my vote be helpful to the process? Well, someone tried to explain it to me, something along the lines of if the Republicans are in control and you're a Democrat, you vote Democrat just to take a vote away from the Republicans. But I mean, I don't know. Well, if I was a Democrat, but I'm not sure that I'm a Democrat. I'm not sure what I am. Right. Well, then.

I have differing views on different matters. I haven't researched this. I don't know who's running. I don't really know what the issues are. And so I think the best service that I can render to my country is to stay at home and hang out and bother people on Facebook, as I want to do. Where are all the bright, honest, intelligent Americans ready to step in and save the nation and lead the way? We don't have people like that in this country. Everybody's at the mall, scratching his ass, picking his nose, taking his credit card out

of his fanny pack and buying a pair of sneakers with lights in them. So I have solved this little political dilemma for myself in a very simple way. On election day, I stay home. I don't vote. Fuck them. Fuck them. I don't vote. Two reasons.

Two reasons I don't vote. First of all, it's meaningless. This country was bought and sold and paid for a long time ago. The shit they shuffle around every four years doesn't mean a fucking thing. And secondly, I don't vote because I believe if you vote, you have no right to complain. People like to twist that around. I know. They say, they say, well, if you don't vote, you have no right to complain. like to twist that around I know they say they say well if you don't vote you have no right to complain but where's the logic in that if you vote and you elect dishonest incompetent people and they get into office and screw everything up well you are responsible

for what they have done you caused the problem you voted them in you have no right to complain I on the other hand the other hand, who did not vote, who did not vote, who, in fact, did not even leave the House on Election Day, am in no way responsible for what these people have done and have every right to complain as loud as I want about the mess you created that I had nothing to do with. So I know that a little later on this year, you're going to have another one of those really swell presidential elections that you like so much. You'll enjoy yourselves.

It'll be a lot of fun. I'm sure as soon as the election is over, your country will improve immediately. As for me, I'll be home on that day doing essentially the same thing as you. The only difference is, when I get finished masturbating, I'm going to have a little something

to show for it, folks. Thank you very much. Thank you. We're waiting, by the way, for Gary Gohmann. He's supposed to be here. And we want to discuss what's become a huge... I think it's a huge issue because... I don't even know it's a big issue anymore.

I just know what my Facebook feed says. And I don't know if that's a big issue or if it's just a big issue among the clowns that are on my Facebook feed. We can call it a widely discussed issue. It's widely discussed among the people that are on my Facebook feed. It may or may not be a big issue in the great wide world, but there seems to be a lot of discussion right now about catcalling. There was a video. Did you see this video?

Yes, I did. There was a video made about a woman walking through the streets of New York City being catcalled, you know, ranging from hey baby to damn girl

to some guy actually walking with the woman for several minutes, which was the most disturbing thing. And it was put on, and there's been

a lot of discussion. And then Michael Che from Saturday Night Live said something. He wrote that now he has to apologize to all the women he ever ever said hello to he was sort of implying that this is not really a big deal and right and no different than people um bothering him because he's famous so anyway so we want to discuss that uh we're not here to discuss whether catcalling should be illegal because it's not it can't be right but whether it's it's how whether it's inappropriate and how inappropriate it is.

And Gary Goleman being the chivalrous... Well, I suspect that Gary Goleman is very chivalrous. He's a large man, but yet he's a gentle man. Gentle giant. And I suspect that he would come out very much against this notion of catcalling. But, you know, of course, there's degrees of catcalling, so we want to discuss. By the way, we have Cassie. Cassie, would you mind sitting down and talking to us for a few minutes?

Here on the Comedy Cellar Radio Show. This is a beautiful waitress, Cassie. Thank you, Cassie. Have a seat. African-American woman. Gorgeous. I believe 20 years old. 21. 21? Oh, okay.

I guess I missed your birthday because I think that's recent. Yeah, July 7th. Can you talk into the mic? And please put on a headset. Okay. I'm sorry about this, Kat. This was a hastily organized show. Noam's not here.

Yeah. Could you please talk into the mic and talk with some volume? You've got to ask her something. I don't know what to say. No, but first of all, we're discussing catcalling. Now, you've been following on Facebook the brouhaha. Yeah. About catcalling. Yeah. Okay.

So, it's all over my Facebook feed. Is it all over your Facebook feed? Yeah, it is, actually. Now, you're a beautiful woman. I mean, thank you. Okay. So, therefore, this must be an issue for you., you're a beautiful woman. I mean, thank you. Okay. So, therefore, this must be an issue for you. Do you receive a lot of this kind of commentary when you're walking the streets of New York? I mean, yeah.

I feel like it's kind of the norm, you know. As long as it doesn't get disrespectful, I usually don't care. Okay, but that's what we want to discuss. Because at what point... Some women think that even just, hey, beautiful is disrespectful. No, I think that's over. Like, it's dramatic. I don't think that even just, hey, beautiful is disrespectful. No, I think that's over, like, it's dramatic. I don't think that's disrespectful at all.

I feel like if, like, you're going to compliment me and call me beautiful, then cool, thank you, I appreciate that. But, like, when you're, like, going into detail and, like, following me and being, like, gross about it, that's when it's an issue. So what, in your estimation, I think for every woman it's different, but for you, where would it cross over if I said to you, hey, girl, if I said to you simply, damn, girl. That's kind of like, all right, cool, thank you, smile, it's funny. But when it starts getting super sexual and gross, if you tell me, oh, I like your ass, don't comment me on my ass. But isn't damn girl, you don't say damn girl because she's got a beautiful face damn girl kind of by its very nature means nice ass or and or titties oh yeah oh that's true well i mean it's a nicer way of saying it yeah but i don't look at

a beautiful girl i don't know he says damn girl you look like audrey hepburn damn girl is an ass and titty thing okay well i mean yeah depends on the person also like some people make you feel super uncomfortable like if they're older and like kind of like you could be my grandfather that's really like that it's creepy like a board like when you could tell by the energy you know like if someone's like appreciating your beauty that's one thing like I appreciate that but if you're like leering at me then it's gross and stop doing it. Well, I'm a leerer.

By nature. I'm not a cat caller at all. I do think it's not a particularly classy way to go. And I don't think it's very useful because you're probably not going to get a phone number or a date out of it. So I don't see the point of it. But do I stare? Probably. Probably.

More than I should. In fact, one time I overheard a young lady saying on her cell phone, this guy is staring at me, and it was definitely me. I didn't think I was staring at her quite that long. I gave her a couple seconds. I didn't think it was enough to warrant that. But anyway, so what if I said to you, Cassie, mm, break me off some of that. I'd ignore you or like...

Would you find that funny and pathetic, threatening, disgusting or whatever, whatevs? I'd be disgusted and then I'd be whatevs because you can't let you like that ruin your day. It's not threatening. It's not threatening, but it's disgusting. But you don't feel like it's violating, you just feel like it's annoying. It's not threatening but it's disgusting. But you don't feel

like it's violating you just feel like it's annoying. Yeah, at this point it's annoying. It happens often enough where it's like a nuisance you know what I mean? As opposed to me

actually being threatened by it. Okay, alright. It also depends on the person. Also if the person's being really aggressive about it it just depends on the person and the situation. If you're being super aggressive

in my face What if I said to you with my face and my physicality damn girl break me off some of that I'd be like get the fuck away from me that'd be creepier because why is this a person talking like that when he's not out when he's not we think you're mentally unstable probably mentally do you find that this is more a phenomenon in the black and Hispanic community the the vocalization of these thoughts? The white people are thinking it, of course. Yeah, well, I mean, yeah, it totally is.

I mean, it's, like, definitely white people are thinking it. You see white people look at you, but, like, we're a little, like, you know, a little more open about it. Like, they kind of go for what they want a little more. And sometimes it's cool. Sometimes it's a little like, hey, dude, like, kind of go for what they want a little more and sometimes it's cool sometimes it's a little like hey dude like kind of chill out you know like i don't know it depends it depends on the person but kyle dunnigan and i saw a beautiful girl the other night kyle dunnigan who's is going to be here i don't know if he'll be on the show but he's coming to the he's coming to perform here but he and i saw you love the young lady the other night walking home and and

we looked at her and and that's about it. And smiled and that's pretty much where it ended. But we did spend the next 20 minutes having the most disgusting conversation. About what you do to her? About what we would do to her. Oh, Jesus. Well, but, you know, it was between us. But I'm saying, what am I trying to say?

I'm saying that, but we didn't catcall. But we did have those thoughts. I think it totally depends a lot on how... But of course, we're free to have thoughts and we're free to discuss them. Of course. But it depends on how you do it. You guys handled that.

You kept your perversions between the two of you. Rest assured, perversions exist. Of course. Of course they do. And if women, I think if women could read our mind, you know that movie,

What Women Want? We don't want to. If you could do that, pal, I don't know that any of you would survive the day. We don't want to, trust me. I'm not sure you could handle it. I have this conversation with my fiance every day, almost. I mean, we're not talking about lovemaking here. No, no, no, we're not, no.

Quite the opposite. The discussion was at times violent. I mean, it was, you know, I'm not sure women get it, and women say they get it. We don't. And I'm not sure that you do get it. You're depraved. Yeah, totally.

You're depraved humans. And humans is even... Well, we are who we are, you know. That's how God made us, you know. Or evolution, but that's what it is. But, you know, I think that some women just feel more vulnerable than others. And I think some of us are just more, you're free to leave whenever you want, by the way. Thanks, guys.

That's Cassie Archer, I believe her name is. She's gorgeous. Thank you. But this is not catcalling because we know each other. But just as creepy. That may well be. I'm not denying that. But where the hell is Gary Goleman?

We need his take on this. We need that. And also, I want to discuss with Gary, he's on tour these days. I'm supposed to do some sort of station identification. Raw Dog Serious. Raw Dog Serious XM. Comedy hits. Channel 99.

99. There you go Channel 99. 99. There you go. Send her emails. Is that Michelle Horowitz? Can we bring her here? We're here with Michelle Horowitz who is a huge fan of the show. Michelle, I know you were a fan when we were on podcast. Do you speak into the mic and loud and enunciate? Hi, this is

Michelle Horowitz. Yes, okay. We'd established that. Now, I know you were a huge, huge fan, maybe our biggest fan, when we were on the podcast format. Now we're on satellite radio. Are you still listening to us? I don't have satellite radio. That's a no.

Okay, and you don't like us enough to get satellite radio specifically for this show. We're not insulted, by the way. We expect that, actually. Well, is it similar, the similar format to the podcast? It's a very similar format, but a little less political, if we can help it, and a little more on comedy

and the comedy seller and the world of stand-up comedy. But actually we're discussing today, and the reason I had you sit down is, um, first of all, we don't have anybody else. But more importantly, and it's nice to see you, by the way. Good to see you. More importantly, we're talking about an issue that has been very much present in the social

media. Media. I don't know if it's present anywhere else, but about this issue of catcalling and the video that was made. Did you see that video? I saw the Daily Show did a few pieces about it. So you being a woman, what is your perspective on all this? Well, do you get this kind of commentary?

Yes. So what kinds of commentary do you get? In my last place, I just moved to Queens, but I used to live in Brooklyn. And I remember walking down the street, there would be a guy on the corner same guy every day, pretty much the same line, like, hey baby, how you doing sweetheart? Which is fine, but it

always was like, I thought, you know it makes you think that you're kind of special and then you find out it's happening to all your roommates, everybody. It's not... So your problem is that you're not the only one being catcalled well do you get anything else it's a little bit more have you gotten other things that are i would say more threatening menacing or inappropriate over the years well certainly

there's been like more creepier things but i i guess i just didn't pay attention to that as much and but i think you walk around knowing you have to have your guard up to a certain extent. You don't walk out like, you just kind of assume. I mean, I've walked across the street in the dead of winter here covered in

every feasible layer. And it's like, oh, somehow you can see in my eyes oh yeah, I am am a woman so now you have to say something you there's no way you could judge any kind of attraction i didn't understand why that would happen if somebody says to you hey i was here by the way kyle donovan if you want to if you want to participate we're talking about cat calling wait i just like to say i've actually it becomes like defensive driving. Like, I actually, if I see, like, a group of guys, I will cross the street before I even get to them.

And walk, like, on the other side. Just to avoid a potential catcalling situation. When I just don't want to be bothered. Kyle Dunnigan just joined us. We're talking about an issue that's been very much blowing up my Facebook feed about catcalling. Have you been paying attention to this? Yeah, I saw the video. I mean, there's so many terrible things about being a woman.

And Kyle, also, if you'd not put your hand in front of your mouth, because we're having audio difficulties, so just speak directly into the mic. It's these new stupid mic stands. Who got these things? Because the old equipment was stolen, apparently, and this is all new equipment. For all I know, this is not even working and nothing is being recorded. I have never catcalled. It wouldn't be the first time that didn't happen to me.

Exactly. I don't think I've ever heard of a successful catcall. I've never heard of it working. That's not a particularly practical thing. Yeah, what's the point of it? Well, the point is, I'm not sure what the point is. But we're not here to discuss the point. We're here to discuss how violating, how inappropriate it is, and how it makes women feel.

Because I've heard different perspectives. Some women are like, oh, it's flattering. Some women are like whatever. And some women, anything, even though you're beautiful, to them is a violation and it's inappropriate and it's disgusting. I think you err on the side of caution with this, personally. I think most women, like you said, you don't know what you're going to get, which is the scariest thing. And why do it?

I mean, it's already out there. It's not a good idea to do. It's usually not offensive. It's usually the guy doesn't know what to say. It's like he's just confused. I think it's just about attention more often than not. It's like I can get you at a little off-putting... Moment.

Moment. It's like, it's because it's not about attraction, it seems like. It's more like this, I've got this power to make you feel uneasy because I can. Yeah, there's truth to that. Women have like a natural power over men. And any chance a man gets that's not being introspective they that makes them feel good to be able to have some kind of power over women I brought this girl back to my apartment with the intent on seducing

her right so I put on this music it was like like that and we started hooking it up, you guys. It was like... Like that kind of hookup. Nasty. So I'm thinking to myself, oh, yeah. It's going good, right? Oh, yeah. I don't want to brag, but it started getting hot and heavy. It was like, oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Now, all of a sudden,

this girl starts bawling, crying, in the middle of it. And I was like, what's wrong? And she goes, nothing. And I was like, cool. Oh, yeah. like, cool. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. But she kept crying, so I had to stop. It's not right. I just petted her head until she fell asleep. Now I'm looking down at this unconscious woman and I'm thinking, oh yeah. Oh yeah.

But that's wrong too, so I didn't do that. I just got up and made myself pancakes. How lame is that? I'm guaranteed to get laid, and I'm making pancakes. Lame. I taste, you know, actually pretty good. I was like, oh yeah.

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh, that's interesting. I think we really just hit a very interesting psychological perspective here. Thank you, Michelle Horowitz. We have Gary Goleman is here. That was Michelle Horowitz. She's a friend of the show. Does that mean I'm out? Yeah, unfortunately.

A brutal show. I can't have everybody at the same time. No, Gary, Gary, sit where Michelle... No, Gary, no, you know, I mean, I can't have everybody at the same time. Oh, look, yeah. No, no, Gary, Gary, sit where Michelle. No, Gary, no, Gary. Bad Gary, down. Down, Gary. Because we only have four at one time because otherwise it gets too crazy. That's fine, but he can not be squished over here.

Or you could move in and let him sit there. Oh, that's true. Well, it's too late now. Thank you, Michelle Horowitz. Keep listening, even though you don't listen. Now we have the full complement of people. We have Chris Montella. Every type of guy. We have Dan Aderman. We have Kyle Dun't listen. Now we have the full complement of people. We have Chris Montello. Every type of guy.

We have Dan Aderman. We have Kyle Dunnigan. And we have Gary Gorman. Gary, we've been talking about an issue very much that people are talking about on Facebook, the issue of catcalling. Catcalling. Gary's going to get scoliosis using this stupid mic. No, no, no.

Etymologically, I don't know why it's called catcalling. Is it because women and cats, there's an association with women and cats? Like a cat fight? I like that. I like that explanation. Kristen, why are you

doubting that? I mean, I guess it's possible. Maybe it's the... It's probable. It could be because it started with the like, yeah, that type of thing. Could be.

That long ago, people were doing that move? I don't think so. Well, in any case, regardless of the etymology, and this is not an etymological, although I do think there is a place for an etymology show on Sirius Radio. I'm not, but this is not it.

But that would be a fascinating show. Yeah, let's talk about it. Do you know that the word tip has nothing to do with to ensure proper service? That is a folk etymology. I didn't even know it was that. All right. Anyway. Be that as it may, we're talking about catcalling, your proper service. That is a folk etymology. I didn't even know it was that. All right. Anyway,

be that as it may, we're talking about catcalling, and, you know, my perspective is that we've got to listen to what the women are saying. If the women find

this threatening, then we have to take that seriously. Even though to a man it might not seem like that big a deal. But the problem is you're not going to

get a consensus from women. We haven't gotten a consensus. So Kyle said err on the side of to get a consensus from women. We haven't gotten a consensus. So Kyle said err on the side of caution. If some women find it upsetting and some women find it flattering, err on the side of caution. Yes. It's my same policy towards Merry Christmasing people.

I happy holiday everybody because I don't want to Merry Christmas a Jew or a Muslim. Merry Christmas is the best. Or a Baha'i. You know what? Well, your logic is correct. I want to keep listing. or a Muslim or a Baha'i. You know what? Well, your logic is correct. Your logic is sound, but your premise is flawed because there's nothing more

flattering to a Jew than hearing those wonderful words. Merry Christmas. I always say the same thing. You think I could pass? Yes. I could hide out?

What if somebody says to you, Happy Hanukkah, that doesn't know you? Then you'd really be upset. Oh, they'd be furious. A Christmas would be furious to be Hanukkah, that doesn't know you? Then you'd really be upset. Oh, they'd be furious. A Christmas would be furious to be Hanukkahed.

Or even worse, they say, Merry Crit, and they stop in the middle, they look at your nose, they say, Merry Crit. Happy Han... Merry... Maybe you're Italian. I think it's the case of some guys ruining it for everybody. They ruin Hey Beautiful and Hello and Smile by saying, you stuck-up bitch and nice ass and are those tits real?

And that type of thing. But... They ruined it for everybody. Now we shouldn't even Hey Beautiful because that's irritating now. But you wouldn't Hey Beautiful anybody anyway, I don't think. One time years ago, and my friend Alex was there, I saw a beautiful woman on the subway.

And as I left, you know, so there wouldn't be any damage, I said, you look very lovely tonight. Like an old man. But that is said in such a way that I think it's okay. I bet it's irritating. It might be irritating, but... No, it's not irritating because you're a good-looking man and no woman in their right mind. Oh, now she's hit on it. You're good-looking.

It's true. It's totally true. First of all, my biggest problem with that video... I have two big problems with that video. Number one, the fact that they ask for money in the end and tell you to support the cause. What is throwing money at this... I don't understand where they're going with that. That's number one.

Yeah, raise awareness. Yeah, how are we going to do this? Number two, there's a disclaimer at the end that said, this was coming from all different types of men and blah, blah, blah. But that video shows a specific type of man. It's not men in business suits. It's not older. It's a specific type of urban.

You know, I don't even want to say they're all African-American because they're not, although the majority are. So I think the video is biased to begin with. And having that little disclaimer at the end does not absolve you from the content that you're putting out there. So there's no Gary Goleman's in that video making comments to this woman. Well, you know, I don't know. I heard some talk that the white people were edited out because there were audio problems. I don't understand that. Or if it's true or if, in fact, this is more prevalent.

Then reshoot the video. The audio problem was nothing they said was funny. That was the audio problem. They couldn't adjust that to make it funny. Also, she walked in silence. Like if she would have turned and said to somebody, listen, you're bothering me, leave me alone, you don't know what the outcome would have been.

You know what I mean? To kind of just walk in. I think that's beside the point to say leave me alone. If you have to say, I mean, first of all, leave me alone could result in a backlash. Yeah, the other thing I've read, a couple of cases recently, is violence against women who either refuse to give a phone number or just refuse to be amenable to the come on. Yeah, and that's an issue.

You see, bubbling beneath the surface of all of this is male sexual hostility. Yeah. Which, you know, I mean, it's not just a simple hello. It's a hello with attached to it the potential of you stuck up bitch if you don't respond to my hello. Yeah. And we all, I mean, I think every guy is capable of it. Yes, it's called college. You're infuriated.

You're walking by all these beautiful women. Your hormones are raging. And you smile. And then they look the other way. They ignore you. A lot of times I'd be the only person and I'd be the only person on the quad walking and they wouldn't even look up. And there were no cell phones back then.

You know what? If a gorilla had walked by you, you would have acknowledged the gorilla. You know, Gary likes to think that his college experience was difficult, but Gary can't hold a candle to what I want to. Or me. I mean, twice I got laid.

You're an amateur. Twice you got what? Laid in college. Twice. Four years. How about this? No kiss. No kiss.

For four years you were laid. No kiss. How dare you come at me with, I only got laid twice. I was the kissing bandit compared to Dan Adler. I didn't get a single kiss. I mean, Gary's trying to lump into our group. Gary can't be in our group. I'm just saying it's difficult all around.

Even for a sexy man. How many times did you get laid in college? Zero. Zero? He's like, Thursday I didn't. Did you get to third base, whatever that is? Oh, yeah. Oh, I owned third base. What is third base? They used to call me Mike Schmidt because I was so good at third base. Was third base Stinky Finger? What is third base? Should I have used a third baseman that everybody would have known?

No, Mike should have called me George Philly. Okay, thank you. I had no idea who that was. Why did they call him Dunnigan's head? What are you, a half a guy? I've never heard of this

DeSchmidt person. DeSchmidt guy. You know, I used to go to frat parties by myself because I had no friends. Oh, God. Let's not turn this

into the rehashing of Dan Aderman. Do you hear the line I had about I was so good at getting third based off women they called me Mike Schmidt?

of the rage that becomes catcalling. It's part of the underlying issue. Okay, okay. It's not the origin of the rage. We segue from catcalling into the male rage that I think most men have somewhere, potentially anyway. There's a potential there for rage. That's the issue that needs to be dealt with, not the catcalling. It's what happens from there.

Well, it's the fact that many women feel like they're just a hair's breadth away from a sexual assault. They walk the city scared. Well. I mean, do you feel that way? A hair's breadth? No, I don't feel that way. But, you know, yeah, there are times that, you know, you feel uncomfortable, of course. But I don't know.

I think living in a city, you're a little bit jaded to that stuff, maybe. You know, someone coming here from Nebraska, walking the streets, getting that might be a little more shocked. And Manhattan's never been safer. Imagine what it must have been like in the 70s to walk around with ass and boobs. I mean, it's annoying, but I don't necessarily feel threatened personally. Let's talk about, if we could, about Gary is on tour right now.

I don't know. Let's just kill the segue. That was a rough segue. I'll grant you. That was a bit of a gear grinder. That was a rough segue. Speaking of male rage. I didn't even use the clutch on that one.

Well, let's segue from rage at women into rage at the New York Comedy Festival. Can I bring that up? How can I be ignored for 21 years in the New York Comedy Festival? I don't think I'm involved with it either. No, that's not possible. How is that possible? They consider this a group of New York comedians, and I'm ignored from the New York Comedy Festival?

Can you get... Can you fuck off? Not... Neither of you is doing anything for New York Comedy Festival. What have you done? Are you in the New York Comedy Festival? I don't know. I don't think so.

I'm doing something that might be involved with it, but I'm not even sure. Because they're embracing the alternative comedians. Aren't you doing, like, the hotel thing? Are you doing some stuff? Nope. Nope. I was completely ignored for the 21st year in a row.

Nope. I'm telling you, I would know. I swear I saw you on something. Well, you know, Gary, I say we rise above. No one cares about that. And, you know, you're doing plenty. There's plenty of fine things that have been laid upon your table, but you only want the ones that you can't get.

I'm trying to quote the Eagles here. I feel underappreciated. Not unappreciated, but why do I have three specials and zero appearances in the New York Comedy Festival? Well, but be happy that you have the three specials and realize that the New York Comedy Festival is therefore...

I'm just calling it a fraud. Necessarily so. If you're not adequately represented... And I must say again that you did step on my Eagles quote. Oh, sorry. I was saying you have some fine things that have been laid

upon your table, but you only want the ones that you can't get. Name the song. Desperado. Desperado. Thank you, Kyle Dunnigan. Woo.

Wow. Yeah. So you're asking me when will I come to my senses? You've been out riding fences. Yeah.

For so long now. And we could ride this out until the end of the show, I'm sure. So you're on tour, Gary. Is that what happened? I am on tour. It's called the It's About Time Tour. Are you doing theaters? I will be playing mostly theaters, but a couple of my last comedy club is this weekend,

the Tacoma Comedy Club in Tacoma, Washington. And then I'll be at Six and I in Washington, D.C. Oh, I've been there. It's very lovely. The Turf Club in Minneapolis. And then Lincoln Hall in Chicago. Then the Sinclair Theater in Boston. And winding up here with two sold-out shows at the Bowie Ballroom in New York City.

Now, this is a comedy tour. How do we distinguish a comedy? You see, I'm on the road a fair amount now compared to... Yes, you are on a tour, but it's more of an avails tour, which is the only type of tour that I was on for the first 20 years of my career. I would give my avails, and every once in a while, I would get some gigs. Okay. So now, but what distinguishes what I'm doing,

which is every week or every couple weeks going and doing some shows at a comedy club... You didn't make a poster. I don't have a poster. You didn't have a T-shirt. And I don't have a name for the tour. And you didn't name it. And don't... I poster you didn't have a t-shirt and I don't have a name for the tour and you didn't name it and don't I mean

doing these comedy clubs they rip you off these those funny bones and these I stopped doing those because they rip off no funny bones

no improv you get a 200 300 seat theater that's what I've been doing you have to fill the theater yeah but you do a little door deal but you know

you have enough fans with the America's Got Talent that that kind of thing. You can bring in 200 people, and you'll get four grand for it. Oh, you're doing this City Green thing. That's where I saw your day. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's Comedy Festival. That is not associated with the New York Comedy Festival. Oh, it was on the Comedy Solo. That's why I got confused. All right. Yeah, it's associated with Tom Papa's sister. Well, I know it is. I know.

It's just funny how you said that. Right, right. Like you're overlooked by the comedy, but you're Tom Papa's sister. But Tom Papa's sister recognized my time. Are you selling t-shirts that say it's about time tour with the dates on the back? Yes. On the back. Exactly. Like a rock tour.

Yeah. Exactly. But I hate it. Ooh, do I hate commerce. I don't sell merch anymore either. I don't like it. Exactly. But I hate it. Ooh, do I hate commerce? I don't sell merch anymore either. I don't sell merch. I don't like it. It's so painful.

It's so painful. Why are people against the merch? Well, because if they don't buy it, they walk right by you, and you have to watch them not buy it. Yeah. And if they do buy it, at least in my mind, I'm... I feel like I'm getting over them. I think it's like, why are you buying this crap? You don't need it.

Yeah, you spend an hour on stage. But they want something to remember the show. 75 minutes. Try to win them over. I do 75 minutes. You go to sell the merch and some air gets taken out of you. You're suddenly a salesman. That's another point.

You're not cool anymore because you're standing there going, anybody want to buy my merch? Buy my t-shirt. Now you can have somebody else sell it for you. Yeah, just get somebody else to do it. But it's not as effective because much of the buying is based

on they want to come over and say hi to you and once they're coming over to say hi to you, they feel bad not buying your bullshit. No, but you stand by the table and like do

a meet and greet type thing, but you got some schlub actually selling your stuff. They're still too close to the merch. I see. They're real cool

people, like the real big stars, what they do is they vanish after the show. They're in their private jet within five, before they're even at the lobby. Louis C.K. is in his Gulfstream. But then again, Jim Gaffigan meets everybody. Does he meet everybody?

So that's a different kind of, all right, okay. So we're talking about, by the way, I don't know if Louis C.K., he might do meet and greets, too. My sense is he does not. He hasn't when I've worked with him. He might do a meet and sneer at best. But he doesn't seem like the kind of guy that does a meet and greet. He's just not

that kind of a person. Not everybody is good with their fans. David Tell is the nicest guy, a dear man, but with his fans he tends to be a little closed off. Not because he's mean, but because he's timid, I think. But he will buy them drinks, I've noticed.

Yeah, he does do that. He'll send them over drinks, and he's very cordial. Speaking of big comedians, what was people's take on Chris Rock's SNL thing? Nice segue, by the way. That was good. That was good. That's how it's done. That's how it's done, everybody.

Watch and learn. Chris Rock's monologue on Saturday Night Live. He talked about the Freedom Tower, which is the building that has gone up where the World Trade Center used to be, and saying that he wouldn't work there unless there's a Department of Motor Vehicles in there or some shit he has to go to. He ain't going. I don't know why that's offensive. He hasn't changed his view on that because he said something similar in 2011. In 2001.

I thought it was very funny and not offensive. No, in 2001. It's not offensive. No. And it's funny. In 2001, he said that people are suggesting, right after the trade center went down, he said that people are suggesting a new world trade center. He goes, I ain't going to a World Trade Center. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Unless they're building a World Trade Tunnel. Yeah. Which, that's even scarier, being stuck in a tunnel. Oh, God. Every time I drive through a tunnel in New York City,

I'm like, if this caved in, it would be like that Sly Stallone movie that didn't make any money. So what's scarier, the fact that it did cave in or the lack of box office?

Oh, God. Anyway. So what's scarier, the fact that they cave in or the lack of box office? But anyway. It was scary that you could be as big as you were in Rocky. That is scary. The ephemeral nature of Hollywood is really what's scarier than any of this. Yes. Donegan, are you just going to mail it in and eat soup? Look, you got your mojo on right now, Gary. I can't get in.

I can't get in. It's all Gary. I'm just over here. Kyle's eating a lentile soup. Look, you got your mojo on right now, Gary. I can't get in. I can't get in. It's all Gary. I'm sorry. Kyle's eating a lentile soup. Lentile. It's a Gentile lentil soup. Now you can eat that, Kyle. It's got sour cream in it.

Yeah, it's just lentils. Yeah, Kyle unfortunately has some eating restrictions due to allergies and so forth. It's celiac, not allergies. Oh my God, but that makes sense. Same thing. See? That makes sense. thing see that makes sense all the stomach aches

all gone yes I feel good you know just when you think that your life is tough Kyle can't eat pizza that is killing me

what happens when you do eat pizza my villi get destroyed by an autoimmune response called celiac and then I can't take in nutrients

and then I die early from cancer oh my god you have to get gluten free pizza I can't take in nutrients, and then I die early from cancer. Oh, my God. You have to get gluten-free pizza. You can't have rice or corn, though, either. And that's usually what it's made out of. How long have you been aware of your allergy to pizza? It's like seven months.

Okay, and before that, you would just get terribly sick? Oh, yeah. And I loved pizza. And I just would, you know, the stomachs aren't that bad. It's what it does to you is really bad. You got to be careful. Do I have it? You may want to check it out.

You may want to get a test. I think, Kyle, you said that Irish people are more prone to this. Yeah, and you don't get, they don't test many people because they don't make any money off it. So you got to go to your doctor and be like, I want this celiac test now. What are the symptoms? So I know if I have this... Digestive, serious issues. Yeah, it's just like bloated. Like so many people have these symptoms. It doesn't mean you have this.

But if you have like really bad digestive problems and you can't seem to fix it, you just want to get tested. It's a simple blood test. And I mean, if that's then positive, you have another endoscopy test, but that's the first step. You know, but Gary, your parents are both alive and in their 80s.

Yes. And I don't think, if it's genetic, and I think it is, then it sounds to me like you're in the clear. Most likely. My dad died early, and I think he had celiac. He was Irish, and back then they didn't really check on that. Really? Gary, you have pretty good longevity in your family. I do. I mean, miserable every step of the way.

No, I'm kidding. It's true. But there's no getting rid of you, you golem. Yeah, there's a great joy in our joylessness. Your mother seems like a happy person, the way you describe her. Yeah, that's true. She's funny.

Dan always imitates her as the sisters on The Simpsons, the Patty and Selma. Yeah, she's good with a quip. Yeah, she has a million quips that she's memorized over the years. The next time I marry, it's for the love, the love of money. Did your mom make that up? No, she couldn't have. It's got to be something from like Toadie Fields or Joan Rivers in the 60s or something. But the delivery is right there.

My mother's delivery is fantastic. She made it her own. Anytime I say I'll be back, my mother always says, that's what my first husband said. I like your mom. I've got to go to his spot. Break a leg there, Kyle. Have a good spot.

So obviously, as comedians, nobody here is offended or even remotely so by any of Chris Rock's comments about the Drake Center. Is being offended a choice? Well, I don't know that it's a choice. I don't know. People have said some pretty horrific things about Jews, and it's just like, all right. Didn't make me laugh, but doesn't mean it couldn't make somebody laugh. I mean, there is a line, but...

Well, certainly no comedian is going to come out against Chris Rock's... I think I was more... I just honestly did not think it was that funny. Wow. I haven't seen it. I really did not. Only because I don't care for him. And not because I was a...

As a human being or as a comic, a person? As a person. Oh, okay. Well, okay. But we can edit that out, by the way. If you stand by it, we'll or as a comic, a person? As a person. Oh, okay. Well, okay, but we can edit that out by the way. If you stand by it, we'll keep it in.

No, I'll stand by that. Okay, okay. I think he's a tremendous comedian and he can teach me how to be a comedian but he can't teach me how to live. That's fair enough.

Fair enough. Has he tried to do so? No, he's just not nice to me. Oh, okay. I just, I was expecting like a real showstopper performance and I found it very lackluster.

You know, I was laughing out loud. I was LOLing, which for me, it was hard. It's not easy to get that number to LOL. It's not easy at all. At all. The only thing I laughed out loud about, and by laugh I mean a little chuckle, was that he said about not going back to 48th and 8th, because he got robbed there 20 years ago.

Why would he go to the funeral? But you know mainly why I laughed at that? Because I pictured you impersonating him doing that joke on the radio show. Right. You know what else he said I thought was funny? He goes he came out against gun control. He came out against guns. That was funny.

He came out against guns. He said he's in favor of some control on guns. And he said when he got all kinds of death threats because of it from NRA people. And he goes, and then it dawned on me, I need a gun. Yeah. See? That's what I laughed at, picturing that. That was funny. And I don't know if any

of this would be funny if I said it, but there's something about Chris's rhythm. Right. That's what it was. But comedy is about rhythm combined with the joke ah! Right, that's what it was. But comedy is about rhythm combined with the joke mixed together and, you know,

if I said it tells jokes they wouldn't work either most likely. But the whole Boston Marathon thing I just did not find funny at all. I find it funny

when he said 26 miles. He goes, that's a long drive. It is a long drive. You know, if I just went off on stage and said 26 miles is a long drive

I don't know if anybody would laugh. I just crossed the marathon and it's not that topical. It's two years. Well, just because we had the New York marathon, I guess. Oh, yeah, we had the New York marathon, so we tied it. The next day.

Well, that's a cheat. I think it's reasonable. I'm not going to... It's like when you have a joke about a movie that came out a couple years ago, and you say it came out on video. Yeah. So you can resurrect it. Keep it in the repertoire.

Yeah. I love Netflix. I love Netflix. I love Netflix. Chief reason of all, they brought Blockbuster to its knees. Rot in hell, Blockbuster. Rot in hell. Rot in hell, Blockbuster.

With your outrageous late fees, your surly sales staff, and your criminally loose definition of new releases. Why is this a new release? Because it's in color? It's Braveheart, goddammit! I didn't even know Mel Gibson hated Jews when this movie came out. I hate Blockbuster. Love to see a Blockbuster that went out of business. It warms my heart. I drive by. You can always tell which store used to be a Blockbuster because it's empty and they've taken the sign down, but it still spells out Blockbuster in filth. They didn't save enough money to power wash the grime

that was behind the sign. So it still says, and it's so appropriate. Ugh, rotten. First of all, how did they go out of business with my $60,000 in late fees? Would you gamble it away?

I hate them. I hate them. Ugh. They were such hypocrites. They wouldn't rent you porn, but they would rape you with late fees. They had no problem sodomizing you with late fees. I can remember bringing in a movie and just being like so embarrassed. Like, you know, it's been a while. What do I owe you? And the little jerk, he was like, oh no, that's all set. I was like, really? Yeah, keep it.

Some sort of amnesty declared? Or something like that? You want me to keep this? Oh yeah, yeah, we already charged $88 to your visa. You own New Jack City for the rest of your life. Yeah. A movie that you couldn't bring yourself to watch in six weeks. Every time you move,

you're going to have to pack up, and that'll be a reminder as to what an irresponsible loser you are. Yeah. You own New Jack City on VHS for the rest of your life. I was just curious about the monologue because it had provoked

a certain degree of controversy. You know, everybody wants to be outraged all the time. Yeah, people are addicted to outrage. There wants to be outraged all the time. Yeah, people are addicted to outrage. There's so much going on in the world. This is what we're going to take to social media. Again, I don't know how outraged people are. I just know that I read on my Facebook feed certain things, and whether or not people in the great wider world

give a rat's ass is another question. It reminds me of the Sports Illustrated would do the swimsuit issue every year. And then the funniest thing was the week after when they would print all the letters that people wrote getting rid of their subscriptions because they were so offended by the bikinis. Oh, God. And it's just like, it's the same thing. These people were in love with being offended and outraged.

People do that? Yeah. Don't they know that there's a swimsuit issue every year? This was a tradition every year yeah every year should we invite alex edelman he's standing over there i feel like he's hovering over me like alex danger no wait a minute you don't say no to us we say no to you yes that's outrageous oh you have to go in 10 minutes? All right, we'll see you. So sit in. All right.

Alex, you got to sit down. Now we invited you. Now we look bad. Sit down for five minutes. Now we look bad. That we couldn't get Alex Edelman? Yeah, that's it. Who do we have to talk to to get Alex Edelman?

Are you kidding me? I'm sorry I'm busy because I'm doing New York Comedy Festival. So I got to. Are you really doing the New York Comedy Festival? That's an outrage. I am outraged. They're for up-and-comers. Alex Edelman is a young...

Like Bill Cosby. Let me introduce you, Alex. You're a young comic that's, I don't want to say making waves might be overstating the case. No, he just won the... What do you call the award

at Edinburgh Film Festival? No, it's the Fosters now. It's the Fosters. But what does it mean? Nobody knows. Oh, the Fosters. They have this big mean? Nobody knows. Oh, the Fosters. They have this big comedy festival in Scotland. They have like 3,500 shows, and they give out a couple awards at the end.

All right, but the award for what? Oh, Best Newcomer. Best Newcomer. Best Newcomer. Such people as Dimitri Martin and... Tim Minchin. Tim Minchin, who wrote Matilda. The Mighty Boosh

who I'm a huge fan of and Mr. Noah Fielding it's a great honor and and it comes with a huge trophy that's actually bigger than Alex

is it bigger than the trophy for the ice cream eating contest in the Brady Bunch that Bobby lost no no that's an enormous trophy remember Bobby lost

in I don't remember that episode that's one of the few I've seen. Bobby was trying to win something because he just lost at everything, and he ended an ice cream contest. Was it Bobby or Peter? I don't remember this episode. And he ended an ice cream contest, and the loser that he is, he lost it.

And then he was really just dejected. And so then he came home, and his family, I think they threw him a party, and they gave him a trophy for best brother or something. Oh my god. Something like that. The precursor to the generation of Blue Ribbons for Participation. My son is a good citizen. Or maybe because I think he got an A in geometry.

I don't know. They gave him some bullshit award that wouldn't make anybody happy in real life, but he seemed to like it on the show. Well, maybe it would make you happy if you had a supportive family like the Bradys were. Yeah, I guess so. But if he had such a supportive family, why was he so dejected in the first place?

That was the paradox, that the writers weren't able to wrap their heads around it. And I'm sure what Schwartz is dead, so we can't ask him. Yeah, we can't even ask him. Is he dead? Schwartz, the Peter Engel of the 60s. Schwartz was a genius. Putting out schlock.

Oh, come on. Maybe you can bring these questions up with what's her face that you're stalking on Facebook now? Marina Cormick is on Facebook.

Oh, really? Who's that? Are you stalking her or are you just giving her some attention that she's probably craving? He's trying to create a relationship.

I tried to reach out. Okay. I friended her. She friended me right back. Who's this woman? Marina Cormick, you clod. She's Marcia Brady from the Brady Bunch. Marcia Brady from the Brady Bunch is still alive?

Oh, my God. She's only like 50 or so. She's a young lady. She still looks pretty good, too. Let me say this. Have you asked her about her drama role in a movie? I believe her name was Jenny, and she was a bit of a... She was a little loose, and this was what the thing was about.

It's how she was letting herself be used and whatnot, and then she... This was an after-school special or something? It was after-school-ish. It wasn't part of ABC's after-school special program. It wasn't canon? It wasn't canon. It was something that wasn't. It wasn't in theaters, I'm assuming.

No, no. It wasn't in theaters. It was made for TV. And it was probably her saying, you know what? I'm not just doing comedies. I can also do this heavy, heavy duty stuff. I never saw it. Marsha's all grown up.

But it didn't really. And she's on Facebook? Do you Google? Do you search Facebook constantly? Back then, you couldn't do TV and movies she's on Facebook? Do you Google? Do you search Facebook constantly? Back then, you couldn't do TV and movies. You either did TV or you did movies. And neither the twain shall meet. Very rarely. Very little crossover back in those days.

Very little crossover. If you crossed over, you had staying power, like you were Robin Williams. I can't even... Yeah. Lauren Tweese, they thought, might pull it off, but, you know, Julie from The Love Boat. Ted Lange was alleged to have... If Lange couldn't do it, at that point, you knew, purely from the love of it. Ted Lange was alleged to have... If Lange couldn't do it, at that point you knew it couldn't be done. Yes.

Was TV seen as wicked inferior than... Yes, there was a high hierarchy in those days. The film people were... Looked their noses down at TV folk. They didn't care whether you were Gavin McLeod. They didn't care whether you were Conrad Bain. They didn't care. You weren't.

You were Conrad Bain. No. I know that name. Or Sherman Helmsley. They didn't care. You stick to the small box. Bain would have gotten tossed out of any halfway decent Hollywood party with film people. And take your brother Bonar with you.

But I imagine you. He had a twin brother, Conrad Bain. He had a twin brother, Bonar. Bonar Bain? I'm pretty sure brother, Bonar. Bonar Bain? I'm pretty sure it was Bonar. It might have been... Oh my god. Bonar? I imagine you sitting at home and Facebook searching and Facebook searching for... No, no, no. The waspiest family. The Bains. What happened is that somehow we had...

It was a Facebook suggestion. Yeah, and I clicked on it and I think it's the real her and the reason I say it is because Alison Arngrim, who is Nellie from Little House on the Prairie, who actually is a friend of mine in real life, is a friend of hers on Facebook. Based on your interest in Nellie from Little House on the Prairie. Yes, and we had her here. And I also want to bang a Brady.

As well as your unreturned comments at Pam Darber of Mork and Mindy of Mork and Mindy of Mork and Mindy. The show is turning into the Joe Franklin show. Dauber will be mine. I'm not done with Dauber. She will crack. I just want to verify

that it was Bonar. Yeah, it is Bonar. Bonar Bain was Conrad Bain's identical twin brother. No way. Identical twin. Oh, my God.

Bonar Bain. How many episodes of different strokes did Conrad Bain skip and throw in my God. Bonar Bain. How many episodes of different strokes did Conrad Bain skip and throw in his inferior acting Bonar? We'll never know. Well, you might have

seen an episode and said, this doesn't feel right to me. I'm not getting the same, you know, it doesn't fit the connection between Coleman

and Mr. Drummond. That's no Connie, that's Bonnie. Shame that there's someone who spent most of his life going, it's not pronounced that way. It's Bonner. It's Bonar. Drummond. That's no Connie, that's Bonnie. It's a shame that there's someone who spent most of his life going, it's not pronounced that way. It's Bonner.

It's Bonner. Bonner. Bonnier. Bonnier Bain. Congratulations to Alex. Where do we go from here now that you've won the prestigious Foster's Lager Award? Well, I'm doing a show as part of New York Comedy Festival. Yeah, this horseshit New York Comedy Club show.

I heard you from a distance say, I was rejected for 21 straight years. It's like 11 years old, the festival, but I like that you were still stewing 12 years ago when it wasn't created yet, like snubbed again for New York Comedy Festival. You can correct my timing, but all I know is that they've never included me.

It's coincidence. It's not coincidence. It is 100% coincidence. No, it is a, I'm underappreciated. Well, I'm doing comics to watch, and those of us who don't have tours. I was never a comic to watch. That's four years old. You were already watched.

Yeah. Yeah. Whatever, I'm still bitter. You're a household name in some households. Your household. Gary, I say rise above. There's other things on your plate that are far more nourishing. You're a household name in some households. Your household. Gary, I say rise above. There's other things on your plate that are far more nourishing. You're right, but it's in me, this anger.

How about the T-shirt that I have? You better go out and catcall. Get that anger out. I will. How about the T-shirt that I have that says the Gary Goldman It's About Time Tour? It has a lot of cities on the back of that T-shirt and a nice font. It does have 11 cities. Yes.

And a nice font. I will be at the Arlington Drafthouse this Friday and Saturday. That's a lot of fun, the Arlington Drafthouse. Are you really going to be at the Arlington Drafthouse? Yeah. I love that place. That's cool. So I'll be there this Friday and Saturday.

It sounds like fun. So I don't have an official name for my tour, but I guess it will be called the Outside My Comfort Zone Tour. Because you know me, I prefer to stay in New York. Why don't you call it the Do Not Disturb Tour? They miss that, but you get it. We're talking about hotels with

why they, even when I have a Do Not Disturb sign on the door, they call me up. I'll tell you why. Yeah. Because I think the maids get paid based on how many rooms they cover. So they'd really like to cover as many as possible. So what you can do if you want to be nice in those circumstances where that's the case, let them in.

They make a phone call that registers them as having entered and cleaned the room, and then you set them out, and they save money and time. Wow. That's good to know. That's so nice. It's scary always thinking of the little person before complaining about his lot of money.

I'm always like, why are these bitches here so early? Yeah, but you know what? It would ruin a lot of amateur comedians' jokes about the Do Not Disturb mates. I don't have any jokes, but I do find it to be an issue. Yeah, it is an issue. But you realize that a lot of comedians have covered it, and the audience is still laughing. So why would they stop? That's really an unfair payment system.

By the by. Yeah, that is. Oh, absolutely. Because if somebody doesn't want their room cleaned, that means that the person shouldn't get paid for the hours that she or he is there. Hotels are not just home to business people. They're also home to a lot of false premises about keys that don't work, room service that no one orders, and charges for phone calls which have now become reasonable in the last decade.

You're right, and the price of porn which nobody pays for the porn because you get the internet free, Wi-Fi. Yeah, of course.

Yeah, nobody uses that phone anymore. No. Sometimes what I will do is I will have people call me on the phone. Unless you use it to strangle or bludgeon somebody,

the phone is getting no use in a hotel room. Right. Well, phones aren't as good for bludgeoning as they used to be. They used to be all hard, durable plastic. Now it's so soft.

It's true. And a lot of times it's not even connected to a cord. You can't strangle. That's right. It's cordless. But anyway. It's really taking a dark turn. It certainly has.

So we're about at the end of our hour here. Can I just ask how you're doing, Dan? I haven't seen you in a bit. Well, how I'm doing, that's a good way to end. You're America's sweetheart since I left. No, no, no. Well, I did America's Got Talent, and it has helped me. I'm getting more gigs for more money.

It's not outrageous money, but I am definitely getting more shit. Congratulations. I'm not surprised. So I'm doing a lot of work. I'm working a lot. Are you happier? You know me. It's okay.

I don't love the road, so now I have to get more used to it. Give yourself the pep talk you just gave Goldman. America has fallen in love with you to the extent that they could actually fall in love with you. That's very nice. Yeah, I guess so.

But the truth is, I don't think most of the people in the audience are there because they know me from America's Got Talent. I think most of them are there because the club has a reputation. I'm not sure. Why don't you give the listeners our email? Send their comment. Oh, the comment. Lou Witsky, what's our email comment? Serious, right?

Lou, what's the email serious at comedyseller.com if you're serious at comedyseller.com yeah serious at comedyseller.com for comments

let me just say your negative comments and your suggestions I don't need them I don't want them you can keep them to yourself flattery only

I only want flattery and I'm only gonna I'm only gonna receive flattery because I have a number of people who read everything that comes through my through my inbox to make sure that it doesn't insult me. Even in a roundabout way.

We'll take whatever. Backhanded compliments are seen through. I will give you an example of a backhanded compliment would be it takes a lot of guts to do what you're doing. You'll get there. Stick with it. You'll get there. Stick with it. Good luck.

You make a living at that? Good luck is the most subtle backhanded compliment. Oh, my God. That's true. You wouldn't wish a successful person. Good luck was true. You wouldn't say Jack Galifianakis good luck. The most degrading thing is good luck with that.

Oh. All right. With that certainly adds a little extra layer to it. But good luck is bad enough in and of itself. Yeah. So don't wish me good luck because theoretically I've already had good luck. Yes. Theoretically.

Anyhow, we'd like to thank Gary Goleman. Hey, thank you. It was a pleasure. Thanks for having me. And Alex Edelman for a last-minute drop-by, and of course Kyle Donegan, who's on stage right now doing his thing. Let me just plug Gary Goleman's tour.

It's about time. It visits Tacoma this weekend. You can go to GaryGoleman.com. Okay, so that's it. See you next time. Good night.