The Comedy Cellar: Live from the Table - Hamilton & Albanese

Episode Date: August 27, 2016

Hamilton & Albanese

You're listening to The Comedy Cellar, live from the table, on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com. This is The Comedy Cellar Show on Raja. Serious 99 comedy hits. This is Dan Natterman, and this is The Comedy Cellar Show, coming at you from the Aldertree Cafe in New York's Greenwich Village. And of course, you're hearing my voice. That can only mean one thing, that once again, Noam is on a family vacation. Is he on another family vacation? He is in Disney World.

Oh, God. Which, of course, brings up the question we always bring up when he's not here is, does he ever need to be here? Could this place run reasonably well without him? And I think the answer is yes. In fact, possibly better. I don't think better. I do think he brings something to the table.

At least people are less likely to steal when he's around, I would imagine. You think? Well, yeah, I think when the boss is here, people are less likely to do bad things. But I think it would run reasonably well without him. But anyway, this is, I think, third summer vacation this summer. And expect more vacations in the fall, I would imagine.

How are you, Montella? We have a jam-packed show tonight. Yeah, we do. I don't know if you know who's coming. I don't know if you're excited. I'm pretty excited. You should be because we got Rory Albanese from the Late Lately Show. Okay.

I say the Late Lately Show because it's no longer with us. I see. Or it's been... Nightly Show. The Nightly Show. Yeah. I'm sorry. The Late Nightly Show because it's no longer with us. I see. Or it's been... Nightly show. The nightly show. I'm sorry, the late nightly show. That's why I was confused. Like the lately show I don't think was ever on the air.

Right, the late nightly show, my bad. And Ryan Hamilton is supposed to be here now and I don't see hiding her hair. It's very unlikely. I'm not like him to be late. He must be saving someone. He's probably saving somebody from something. He ran into himself. Listeners of the show know that Ryan Hamilton is the world's nicest man.

Not only the nicest man in the comedy world, but the nicest man in the world world. Correct. And what's new, Chris? I read recently, I don't know if you'll find this interesting, that flossing, they have said, may not do any good at all. Really? Yeah, so I'm in, I don't know, I'm in crisis.

Why? Because do I floss or do I not floss? I don't like to floss. Right. But maybe, my dentist tells me it's good. I think oral hygiene

and cavities and all that stuff really is mostly based on genetics, like most things. For instance, I flossed maybe a dozen times in my whole life. I've never had a cavity. Are you fun to kiss, though? What? I'm saying, like most things. For instance, I flossed maybe a dozen times in my whole life. I've never had a cavity.

Are you fun to kiss, though? What? I'm saying, breath-wise. Yeah, but that doesn't have to do with flossing. Well, I think it does, because little food particles can go wrong. Yeah, but I think if you brush regularly and mouthwash and that kind of stuff, I think the flossing's overkill. Unless you really got gum issues.

I don't know. I just feel like it's one of those things that... Hey, Rory is here. Rory, have a seat. Hey, guys. We got Rory Albanese. What's the proper pronunciation of your name? The proper pronunciation is Albanese.

You do it right. Albanese. Albanese. He's nice. He's good. I think he's from the boot area. He's no good. He's from the boot.

Yeah, but I don't say Albanese because I'm an American. I understand that, but I think there's something to be said for heritage. Yeah, I agree. I think there's something to be said for heritage. Do you floss? Yeah, I walked in on that hot floss topic. Yeah, I floss. I think I'm probably supposed to floss a little bit more than I do.

Well, I don't know if you heard me. I said that I read somewhere the latest literature. I can't believe that's true, Dan. How could getting food particles out from between your teeth not be good for you? I mean, you don't have to spend all those years at dentistry school to know keeping stuff away from your teeth. Well, it seems logical enough. Yeah, I think so. But yeah, who knows?

I mean, if it's not good for you, I'm not going to do it. I'm a flossing skeptic, but I believe in global warming. That's fair. That's fair. We'll get to the, you know, Montel, that Albanese was the showrunner. I believe that's the term that they use. Yeah, they use that term. The showrunner, which sounds like a superhero, but that just means the guy in charge.

Yeah, the guy in charge. Of the nightly show. Got it. Yep. And that nightly show. Got it. Yep. And that nightly show, well, I guess we can talk about it now because Ryan's not here. It must be big, though, because I've only heard that term used twice in our show. What, showrunner? Yeah.

I try to avoid it because the average, when I wasn't in show business, and one could make the case that I'm still not in show business. I didn't know what a showrunner, you said to, a showrunner, I'm thinking like the Super Friends. Right. But it's not a normal word. It's not even really a word. It's like a made-up compound word. It just means... Yeah, showrunner is a term they...

Instead of executive producer, people say showrunner. Because there's different types of executive producers, and then there's somebody who day-to-day runs it. So that's what I was on this particular show. Is the show off the air, or will it be off the air soon? Oh, it's done. They canceled it. Really?

They took it out back, and they put a 22 behind the ears. I saw you tweeted something like, I found this out because Rory tweeted, not tweeted, he Facebooked, you know, the Nightly Show people are the most talented people I've ever worked with. So that sounded like an obituary to me. Yes, they were.

Even though he didn't say specifically the show is dead. Word was out. Like when you see a picture of somebody's father on Facebook. They don't have to say the guy is dead. It depends on the words that are under it. It could be like a birthday thing. Or a birthday. The father thing Unless it's Father's Day. Or a birthday.

Yeah, the father thing might not be the best example. Yeah, but I get what you're saying. The wording was, this is the most talented group of people I've ever worked with. And I said to myself, this show is finished. It is. It was done. It was.

I say that. Everybody says that when things end. They like to look back. But it really was. I mean, part of that is me underhandedly complimenting myself because I really hired most of them. But I have to tell you, man, it was a hell of a group of people. I would work with anyone there. Were you really shocked?

Yeah, totally shocked. I mean, here's the truth. I knew the show wasn't doing well in the ratings. But that's not really something you can do much about these days. There's so many shows on the TV. And late night is not a place where you need more um and also with with the the topic you know like when i used to work at the daily show for a long time and i was the ended up being the show runner there towards the end and um i could tell you that like that show at the time when it was

peaking it really was unique and that like know, the only other people doing comedy news at that moment were like SNL and they were doing it every week. It was like pre-Twitter, pre all this stuff when it was really taking off. So there wasn't, we were a fast turnaround, a fast reaction to what was happening. But now, you know, there's a lot of that. Even, you know, just Twitter alone is twice as fast as a TV show can be and all that. So, you know, I wasn't one of those things where I was like, the show is killing

how can they cancel it? But I was definitely surprised. I assumed they would say something like, you guys are good through the election or you guys are good through Christmas. We'll let you know about 2017. This was like, you've got four days left. Goodbye. Yeah, it was hard. It was cold. It was cold. And also, maybe they would keep it on

just because you have a black voice. I don't know. Does that have any merit to it? Well, it has merit to it in the sense of it's... I mean, they didn't do it, but I'm... No. In my thinking, it might be that Comedy Central would say, oh, let's keep this because it's a different, you know...

Although Trevor Noah's half black. Yeah, well, he's... Yeah, but he's like the whitest black person. Well, he's also, you know, not... I kept saying to Larry, the thing we really got to lean into is that you're American, you know,, he's also, you know, I kept saying to Larry, the thing we really got to lean into is that you're American, you know,

because Oliver's British, Sam B's Canadian. Right. Trevor's from South Africa. It's like, you want to get your fake news from somebody American. But, you know,

to me, it wasn't just Larry being black. It's like we had three black women in late night every night. We had a team of contributors. I was one of them. I was one of the contributors

on the show as well, but I was the only white guy on the whole show. I thought you were going to say you were one of the black contributors. I was one of them. I was one of the contributors on the show as well. I was the only white guy on the whole show. I thought you were going to say you were one of the black women. I was one of the blackest women in late night television. I play a black woman on TV. No, so it's Ricky Velez who is a seller comic.

Mike Yard, also a seller comic. You had Owen worked on that show. Yeah, Owen Smith just got hired as a writer. He just landed, and we were like, I've got bad news. You've got to go back to L.A. Yeah, but we had Grace Parra, who's Latino, Jordan Carlos, black comic. So we had eight contributors, seven of whom were not white.

I was the eighth who was a white guy. And let's face it, as white men go, you're hardly the whitest. No, I wouldn't say I'm the whitest. I'm an Italian Jew. You know, that's like new white. New white. You know what I mean? I'm not like a waspy golf pro.

You're not like your lady friend. Yes. No, my lady friend is extremely white. But, you know, Rory, I'm getting... You don't seem overly upset. I got a feeling you're not devastated. Well, I'm on the radio. You know, and how angry am I going to be?

I'm not going to go on a rant about unfairness. But I want to hear real shit. Yeah, I'll tell you real stuff. I mean, I'm on the radio. You know, and how angry am I going to be? Am I going to go on a rant about unfairness? But I want to hear real shit. Yeah, I'll tell you real stuff. I mean, here's the honest truth. Like, it's definitely frustrating to me that a show that had that diverse a cast and a voice got killed. And I do think that there's more than it dying. It wasn't as supported as I would have liked it to be. Like, really what happened when the show launched, it was a very different show.

Jon Stewart was still on TV. He started the show. He actually called me and said, do you want to run this new show when Colbert goes up there? And I said, no, because I was on the road doing stand-up. And I was in, like, Cleveland in, like, bed with, like, a waitress and a sandwich. And I was like, yeah, I'm never going back to TV again. This is fantastic. And then he

started telling me it's larry wilmore it's about you know black issues cultural stuff and i like that a lot more than politics and then he was like and you could be on it you know he initially said i want you to be the token white guy i was like oh that sounds awesome you know so i uh came back to new york and we started it you know built this show and originally it was supposed to be this sort of four-person roundtable talk show and it evolved into like a daily show-esque cultural commentary show and we built this team of contributors and we so it really evolved from where it started the problem was when the show started it wasn't very good i will gladly say that but neither was conan or seinfeld or most shows in their first year particularly late night you night. Daily Show wasn't very good when it started

even when Jon was on it. I started just after Jon. It was just getting its footing. I started six months after Jon Stewart. And you throw a bunch of people together that never worked together before. Yeah, it takes a while. You gotta build a rhythm. Larry never hosted a show. That's why I was liking it to Conan that first season or so

because it takes a while. Basically, as we started to find the show and got its rhythm, Jon Stewart left. So we lost our lead in. So by the time the show sort of became good and funny, everyone already had watched it and been like, I don't like that show. And I'm like, no, you didn't like it

and you were right not to like it, but now it's different. The problem is once it became a different show, the network never told anybody. We never did like a second round of promos. We never did another media blitz of like a version 2.0 nightly show. Here's what it is.

Here's this team of contributors. Here's all these. So do you think that contributed to it, that there was just kind of like this disconnect between? Yeah, I think most people forgot it was on TV. Now am I saying that would have saved it? No. I mean, the idea of people watching.

Look, the other thing that doesn't help is it wasn't like we weren't crushing in the viral video game, but to me, that's not something you can control. You just kind of make stuff and it either goes viral or it doesn't. I do wish there was more support behind it. I do wish that the press team at

Comedy Central was doing more to push it. I kept calling them and saying, we've got three black women in Late Night. Where is that article? How is that not a spread in a magazine? That's a thing. We had a female black head writer, Robin Thede, who was also one of the contributors.

We had these incredible people who, historically speaking in the television industry, have not had an opportunity. And inside and out, it wasn't just on camera. Our writers were diverse. Our staff was diverse. Our director was this guy, Andre Allen, who I worked with for years at the Daily Show. Black guy. People who have been in this

business a long time worked on that show and would say to me, I can't even believe the people that work here, how great they are, how diverse they are. So it was a special place that we built. No one knew about it. I'm not a publicity guy. I'm not a marketing guy, but it did need another round of marketing that we never got.

Do you get any closure with this type of stuff? Do they give you a list of this is why? No. I feel like it's like a bad breakup. It's cold. It's not working out, bye. No, it's cold. Then you're just clinging.

It's like that, but it's almost worse because they stop calling, and you're like, that kind of breakup. You're like, how come she's not calling me? Then you're like, is everything okay? They're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's fine. We'll talk to you next up. You're like, how come she's not calling me? And then you're like, is everything okay? They're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's fine. We'll talk to you next week. You're like, wait a minute. Your stuff's on the curb.

Yes, exactly. Then you show up. You're like, hold on. Those are all my shirts. And the good news is that an Albanese always lands on his feet. You know that old Polish proverb. And he was telling me before, I think, unless my memory is failing me,

that you were kind of looking to get more into stand-up anyway. For me, I was looking to get out of the producing, show-running part of my job. I wanted to convert to being on camera full-time. I ended up initially thinking I'd be on the show like once a month. Gladly, I thought that would be cool, but it turned into my job. It came in on-camera job. I was on two, three nights a month gladly i thought that'd be cool but it turned into my job it came in on camera job i was on two three nights a week i was doing characters i got i was wearing mustaches doing accents it was amazing it was a totally different level of performing than i'd ever thought i'd be able to do on this particular show and then my dream was to be able to sort of

hand over the keys uh britney scott who uh is it was this is this incredible woman. She's an amazing producer, and I was trying to get her up to speed to run the show. We just got a new head writer. So I was sort of trying to walk away from the I have to do everything part of my job and just get into performing. So this is a blessing in disguise. Well, it's not a blessing for the hundred people

that don't have a job. For me, I feel very responsible for those people. I had to look those people in the eyes, and I was giving them unintentionally false hope because I very much believed this show would continue through at least the election. So the whole time, people would come up to me. I would just say, welcome all those people to my world.

Yes, yes. Well, you know what I told everybody, and they get it, which is if you've been in the TV or comedy business, you know 90% of it's rejection. And if you're new to it, welcome to it. This is what I've been talking about. You know, but hey, better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. I do just want to know

what is next for Rory Abanese? That's a good question, Dan Ademan. Are you just going to take this opportunity to become more stand-up? Or try to get another TV gig? I'm trying to do an hour. That's my goal this year, is to get an hour sold to somebody. And I'm going on the road starting in September, just doing tour dates all across the land.

I just got, by the way, a text from Ryan Hamilton. He said he didn't know he was supposed to be there. Well. Didn't someone confirm that? Lewinsky, did you book Ryan? I did. Because he said he didn't know, but he's coming. There was something.

He did not do anything wrong. You can go to court and tell you, I can tell you right now without even putting your hand on a Bible, Ryan Hamilton not lying. Whatever he says is the truth. It would be really funny if he had just texted Lou like, fuck you.

He's really evil. There's Ryan Hamilton. Ryan Hamilton has finally joined us. We believe Ryan because he's Ryan. And if he says, hello, Ryan. You didn't know you were supposed to be on here today? No, I didn't know.

Oh, I'm sorry, Ryan. I was told that we would play it by ear. Oh, okay. And that I would show up and maybe I could go on. Let me tell you what happened, Ryan. So here I am about to plug all these fall tour dates I have. And then all of a sudden it all becomes about Ryan Hamilton's late. You know what I mean?

Oh, no. The show is over. Hamilton's not here. Rory's not enough. Rory's not enough. Rory is enough, but I was worried about Ryan might have gotten Shanghai'd. Speaking of a diverse cast, it's nice to be here with everybody. Well, we had a woman coming on a little bit later.

We were talking, Ryan. I love ladies. Another woman? You had, we had a woman coming on a little bit later. We were talking, Ryan. I love ladies. You had said that you... Another woman? You had said... We have a woman coming on. I didn't even acknowledge you as a lady.

There will be at some point a true female. It's a girl who wears skirts to dresses. We were saying how if you said you didn't know that you had to be here, then we know that

that's the truth, that you're not going... Oh, well, that's nice to hear. And that brings up a topic I did want to discuss very briefly. But, Brian, you've been following with this UCB scandal? A little bit. I've been following it as little as possible.

We talked about the scandal last week. Rory, you're aware of this, the rape scandal at the UCB. Oh, I've heard about it, yes. That somebody was accused of being raped. Yes. And I was on the Internet, you know, involved in the discussion. No, I don't troll. Well, he has a Google alert set for UCB rape, so it happened to ding.

Okay. And so a waitress that used to work here said to me, you know, not that I was saying, I don't know why she was going at me, but she said that, well, this is dangerous because anybody can just go on Facebook and accuse anybody of being raped. And so this is a very dangerous time we're living in. Yeah, but that's always been the case. I mean, you could stand in the town square and yell at someone. You certainly could.

But this adds to the power of the... But I said to myself, that is true, and I certainly shouldn't accuse somebody of rape online unless you know, but just because somebody accused you of rape doesn't mean it's necessarily going to get traction. And the example that I want is here we have Ryan Hamilton. Nobody would believe it. That is a tough transition, Ryan. I'm sorry. Well, we have Ryan Hamilton.

And if anybody went online and accused him of rape. I was getting Shanghai'd on the way here or on the podcast? Oh, I'm sorry, Ryan. This is not a topic you... I'm complimenting you. I know you are. I'm just kidding. I'm saying you're the least rapey man in comedy.

That's... And nobody would believe it. Well... And as a matter of fact, I'll do you one better. If I saw you raping somebody, I wouldn't believe it. I would say, I don't know who that is, but it ain't Ryan Hamilton. That's the credibility you have. Well, that's nice to hear.

And the only, there's nobody less rapey than you unless we go into, you'd have to go into the world of fiction to find maybe one of the Smurfs. Wow. And not, but Brainy, I always thought was. And not rapey Smurf.

Because he is just all over the place. I always thought Brainy was the most likely to rape of the Smurfs. Yeah. He seemed very entitled, like he would just think, these girls are stupid and they should fuck me because it's a privilege. There was really very few female Smurfs. There was only one.

Well, no, I think there was a set. Wasn't there like at some point? No, she was like a bait. Didn't they throw a redhead at some point? Oh, really? I think she was a kid. They're all kind of kids, though. They're all so tiny, you can tell.

Rory, we will get to your tour dates. Rest assured. To my theory on this first. You can take that to the bank. I just... Brian, I didn't invite you here to talk about that. Okay. I invited you here because, first of all, I always like to have you. I always like to see you. Well, yeah, likewise.

But you did the other night. We were talking a couple of weeks ago about New Joke City. Yeah. That's the new joke show that we have every Monday night in the Fat Black Pussycat Lounge where comics do their new shit. I did it a couple weeks ago. Ryan, I did it. You did it two weeks in a row.

Yeah, I did. I'll do it every week I can. Well, did you do the same? Did you do all new jokes? Like, you did it two weeks in a row. Did you do all new jokes from the second week? I didn't repeat anything from the second time, from the first time. And those are all new jokes?

Well, I had done a couple of them a couple times other places. Like, I did a brand new joke on the cellar stage before I did it at the new, but I thought, I've only done it once. I'm going to do it on the new joke thing and try and expand it. Well, to me, my definition of a new joke is a joke that is not fully realized. If you did it once at the cellar, and it annihilated,

and it's perfect as is, you are not, I don't believe, allowed to do it on the new joke night. I think that's a great... Now, nobody will come and arrest you, but I'll know. Yes. And sometimes that's worse. And if you don't think I'll fucking give you what you deserve, you're wrong. Fucking Hanley pulled it.

Was it Hanley? Some motherfucker that did some two-month-old joke. Wow. He got up there and he's like, hey, what about Easter, huh? We talked about the penalty, right? I think the penalty should be the amount of time that you do of jokes that are old. Now, we could debate whether you get that time subtracted. So, like, if you did three minutes of new jokes, next week you only get four minutes out of your seven.

I like that rule. Now, Dan said maybe we should make them do the three. No, I think you should make them. What you do is this. You got, say, seven minutes to do new jokes. Maybe five, whatever. If you do two minutes of old jokes and three minutes...

Then you got to do two more minutes the next week. Right. Of new jokes. So now you have nine minutes of new jokes. Wait, you get more stage time for screwing up? Yeah. Writing comedy is a punishment. You didn't know that?

Yeah, but... By the end of the week, I'm going to have a 25-minute spot. Yeah, yeah. I'm doing it on Monday. But you only get four weeks of that. And then we cut off a testicle. Oh, we didn't add that before.

Well, because I thought of it just now. It's called improv, right? But don't you think that you're touching on something pathological about being a comedian? Why would you go? There's something about the fear of, like, I don't know, not getting a laugh or something. I don't know. So what's your question?

My question is, the night is specifically geared for new jokes. For new jokes. So why would it possess, who is it benefiting? Like, why would anyone go there and do not new jokes? Why would somebody do not new jokes? That was the question that was asked. And the answer is,

is sometimes you just, first of all, yes, you want those laughs because we crave those laughs. Even if it's a night of new jokes, we want those laughs. Second, second of all,

this is something we discussed a couple of weeks ago. Momentum. Sometimes you don't want to do a new joke in a completely cold environment. You want the momentum of a joke that works and get them laughing, get them into it, get them listening, and then you hit them with the new joke.

Oh, to see how it would play out in real life because in theory... Well, no, you just... You don't want to do it from a standing start sometimes. Right, okay. You know, sometimes

you want to do it from a rolling start. So maybe you have to tweak your thing of like, you can do an old joke in the first minute or two minutes. These are all things

that can be discussed, but the testicle thing is not negotiable. Well, look. There's only two. Some people have one. Get one to the table with three balls. I'm not remotely scared of that.

But I've got a question about the new joke because I'm doing it on Monday. My question is isn't it a bit more forgiving since everyone knows that... Yes, of course. You know what I'm saying?

It's like when you first started doing stand-up and they go, this is this guy's first time. And then everybody's like, well, that was easy. And you're like, yeah, because they set you up

to succeed. I feel like... That's what I'm saying. Why would you need to... Yeah, so I feel like normally, because I've done the thing you've done,

which is just be downstairs here at the cellar. Yeah. You're like, I'm going to try a new joke. Yeah. And then... The crowd's like,

no, you're not. Or sometimes, and then you're like, that was weird. That was oddly good. But normally, you would sandwich that between some classics. You get the momentum.

But I'm saying if you know it's all new, the crowd's kind of on your side because you're experiencing it failing. What I did was I reminded them after every couple jokes, by the way, this is new joke night. After a joke would bomb, I'd go, perhaps you've forgotten. This is new joke night. I just want to be clear. I think it's also a disservice

to the audience because you would hope that people are going there because they're really interested not only in laughing but in the craft and kind of like how people come up with jokes

and stuff. And it's, you want to see that process. I mean, that's why you're going to that show. Or maybe I'm overestimating the people.

Well, there's two reasons you're going to that show. You're going because of what you just the people. There's two reasons you're going to that show. You're going because of what you just said, or you're also going because it's on the Comedy Cellar website. Every other show is sold out. And you say, well, fuck it. We'll go to this new joke show. I'm in from Amsterdam, and I want to go to the Comedy Cellar.

You know, I think there's a lot of overflow. I'm sure that's true. I know. Lemore is here. She's our next guest. But you can sit and listen for now, and we'll get to her. She's doing it. Does everybody know Lemore? I know Lemore. I forgot her last name.

Hi. Hi. Hi, nice to meet you. We're just finishing up this discussion, and then we'll get to Lemore. She wrote a book, a photograph book, or whatever it is. And it's like a book with photographs in it. A picture book. It's a picture book, yeah, about comedians. And it's like a book with photographs in it. A picture book. It's a picture book, yeah, about comedians.

That's why she's here. I got a similar plug about my stand-up tour. Don't worry about it. We'll get to the stand-up tour. I'm breaking your balls now, man. It's the comedy side of things. It's all I know. It's all I know.

We'll see after Monday how many he has. We were discussing the new joke night, which Lamar was at actually last week, and she very much thought I did a good job, and that was helpful because I didn't think I did. But I had one joke that seemed to work about Chinese people. You know, love Michael Jackson, but you never hear a white guy when the Chinese singer dies crying and singing.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The whole thing relies on a goofy Chinese accent. I heard you do that the other night at the VU after the new joke night, and I thought it was hysterical. Oh, thank you. Love that joke. Thank you, Rorwin. Love that joke.

So, yes, it seems to be so much traffic on the Comedy Cellar website that, I mean, I think almost any show is going to get at least half sold out. Why do you think people do? Because there's so much overflow. People go to the Comedy Cellar website and they say, oh, well, let's try to get it to 930. Oh, that's sold out. Well, let's try to get it to 1030. Well, that say, oh, well, let's try to get it to 9.30. Oh, that's sold out. Well, let's try to get it to 10.30.

Well, that's sold out. Well, let's try to get it to midnight. Well, that's sold out. Okay, fuck it. We'll hear Dan Aderman sings Country. Because that's the only thing that there's left on the fucking thing. I think that show would sell out, actually. Well, I don't think it would sell out.

But it would definitely get at least 10 people just because of overflow. And then the people would think, oh, Dan Adlerman sings country. That's like Upright Citizens Brigade. It's like, it makes no sense, but it's comedy. It's probably the name of an improv troupe. Like Frankie Goes to Hollywood. But no, it's me singing country music. But is it working?

Is it working for comedians more and more? In the New Joke City? Yeah, like, do you guys find it useful? Well, yeah. Laura hasn't done it yet. It's only happened twice. Let's not get carried away. I find it very useful. One of the reasons people

wouldn't do new material, I think, is because they would not prepare, and then you agree to do it, and then you show up and go, I don't have anything prepared, and then you don't want to bomb with these things that aren't thought out. That's true. Seven minutes is a long time with all new shit. That room though,

that room, that fat black pussycat room is a difficult room to begin with, even when you go in there with your gold because it's a weird layout. Not bad weird, but it's different. It's intimate. Everyone's in those big cushy chairs. People are too comfortable, you think? I don't think they're too comfortable. I'm just saying it's

not like a normal cellar room or a normal comedy club room, which is what's cool about it. But I'm saying the challenge of that room exists with your standards. So it's interesting that it's in there. So I think that kind of either will help or hurt.

I was there last night, if I may come in. I was there last night and it was amazing. You were at the New Joke City last night. You were there last week. I was there last week. Last night I took pictures of all the comedians while they were performing. I don't think you're authorized to do that. No, I got permissions to do that.

Obviously, she's not crazy. You're a huge comedy fan, Lamora. I am. I have so much appreciation. People apparently like this crap. I have an enormous amount of respect for comedians. I think what you guys do is so special. And I don't think you even, guys, realize how much you're helping people.

I mean, you can have a really bad day, and then you listen even to this podcast, which is really funny, and to other funny podcasts and other comedians, and you can have a really shitty day and then come at the end of the day to see a comedy show, and you forget about everything. And sometimes, a woman will come to a comedy show, and not only will she get laughter, she will get cummed on by, I'm sorry, was that going too far?

What was the end? By who? By one of our comedians. In other words, a lot of our comedians provide extra services to the female clientele. Oh, God. Not necessarily everybody. Extra services? I'm saying not only will you get to laugh, but you will get to have sex with some gross comedian.

Wow, that's not bad for $15 and two drinks. Which is not so bad. Not too bad. You know, certain comedians do that more than others. I don't know who's getting the favor in that scenario. Yeah, I'm not sure that the women are winning in that one. I know a lot of comedians do that more than others. I don't know who's getting the favor in that scenario. Yeah, I'm not sure that the women are winning in that one. I know a lot of comedians. A lot of women, they come from far off places,

and they're under the mistaken impression that we're somebody. That is a mistake, ladies. We're on stage, you know. We can end that right now. Let me say, don't think that. Well, once they get back to my apartment, they realize, oh, God, this guy's, I thought this guy was like somebody,

but no, apparently not. Like, I'm poorer, they realize, oh, God, this guy's... I thought this guy was like somebody in the... But no, apparently not. Like, I'm poorer than they would have guessed, I guess. That's where you got it. Yeah, that's an interesting... Some people, I think, from out of town think we're all rich. Huh. I don't know.

Just because we're in New York doing comedy in front of a full house on a Friday. It looks very impressive. And Americans know better? Pardon? Americans know better? No? Americans know better? No, I don't think Americans do know better. Oh, okay.

Well, I think there's two kinds of Americans. Half of them think we're rich and the other half think we have day jobs still. Right. Because those are the questions I get most often.

Yeah. So what do you do for real? Right, yes. I get that a lot too. That's why one of my least favorite things is to tell people. And even when I'm in town

for a gig and I'm getting picked up at the airport or there's a cab driver and he's like, what are you in town for? I'm like, business conference. Because that 40-minute conversation from the airport to my hotel. Oh, I never tell the cab driver. Yeah, about being a comedian and them asking all those questions. It's almost like I have to re-explain. I have to re-justify my life to that dude every time.

And the barber. The barber, last time I went for a haircut, they said, what do you do? And I just said, I do, I did, I said what my father did. I said, I write technical publications. And because that's going to cut the conversation off at the knee. Yeah, even on the podcast. I just fell asleep. And you only barely finished the sentence.

Nobody knows enough about it. Like if I said I'm a real estate agent, they go, oh, well, tell me. Where can I get something on the every side? If I said I work at a restaurant, oh, what restaurant? Oh, what kind of, you know? They might ask, oh, I used to be a waiter. So how, you know, whatever. They might have questions.

But I got to cut these motherfuckers off from Jump Street and say, no, I write plastics, extrusion, technology. I'm doing something right now with ball bearings. Dan is all about cutting and balls this whole show. It's just about balls, cutting, and cutting balls. There's an underlying theme here. Anyway, if you've made it this far in the program, I have a real treat for you because right now we're going to do

Rory's Road Gigs. I'm not even prepared to plug my road gigs. I was just being sarcastic. No, I have a bunch. I do have a bunch. Then maybe just give your... In the next couple weeks starting September, you can catch me all over this great country

up and down the East and Sea. Suddenly I want to hear about technical publications. Let me tell you a little something about ball bearings. Here's a little something you've got to learn. Who lives up in Poughkeepsie and likes ball bearings? No, I was being sarcastic. I was just saying I was starting at a part of it earlier. I'm going up to Poughkeepsie.

I'm going out to Governor's on Long Island where I'm from. I'm a Long Island boy. I'm doing shows out in... You don't know? I don't even know. Yeah, I can look. but I don't know. Where would you go to find out? I would probably have to go to...

Well, I would go to my tweets. Your tweets? That's the best place? I've been twatting them, and I'm going to Instagram them as well. It's all my name, Rory Albany. So I'm going to be in St. Louis, Missouri. I'm going to be in St. Louis. Okay.

I've got to remember now, Dan. I wasn't really prepared for this. I've got a lot of... I'm going to be at... I'm not going to say that one because it's another New York club. Well, you can say it. Noam doesn't mind if you say plug Caroline's. Oh, really? I'm going to be at Caroline's in October.

You understand Noam is drowning in money. He don't care. I know. I don't want to... You can't harm this guy. You are a lot less scared of the people who run this place than I am. Because you're Dan Nadiman. You can do anything you want. Well, Noam and I have a personal relationship. I've swum in his pool. Oh! Literally speaking. I'm going to be in Arizona

Tempe, Arizona I'm going to be in Tempe Improv Tempe Improv How's that Tempe Improv? I've never been to Tempe Tempe Well, how is the Tempore Improv?

Is that the place where Is that where they got covered in lava? Tempe? That's Pompei Oh, Pompei Pompei, I'm sorry That's in your home country I get confused

Yeah, that's... Where are all the people? It's so hot there, they're covered in ash, right? Tempe. It's going to be tough to sell tickets to Pompeii. Were you here when we talked about the nightly show, Ryan?

It's been canceled. No, I heard about it. He knows it's been canceled. We share a cab's home. Yeah, so we talked about it. You have a tight budget now. Yes, that's right. But now Rory gets to really concentrate on his first love,

which, of course, is stand-up comedy. Oh, I thought you were going to say my girlfriend. Wink, wink. No, yeah, stand-up comedy. You know, so. Yeah. It's kind of exciting, maybe, a little bit. I mean, it's sad.

For me, it's exciting. Rory's tweeting something. I don't know why he seems distracted. No, I'm not tweeting. I mean, I'm just making sure. I'm trying to figure out where I'm doing stand-up. Yeah, I don't know. You know, I like being on the road.

Being on the road is fun because you get to go. I always feel like when you're on the road. This is where you and Dan will not see eye to eye. Well, no, but I've discussed this time and again. We don't need to rehash this. I don't like it. But it feels to me like you maybe will appreciate this, Ryan. When you were a kid, you used to watch those Westerns.

Someone would roll into town and they'd be like, I'm back. It was me from back in town. And then you have sex with all the whores at the brothel, but you have your regular whore at the brothel, and then you sling some jokes, you kill a couple people in town, and then you're like, see you next year, everybody. Have jokes, we'll travel.

It's kind of my... You just like the recurring cheers moment. I just like the idea of being in random places in the country that you probably would not travel to. There's something about traveling alone that's rewarding. You're always staying in a place that's very humbling. You know, for me, I'm always like, you're always, here's what I would say about going on the road to do stand-up comedy. Do you ever drive on the highway and you see someone walking on the highway?

And you're like, who the hell is that? The answer is it's a stand-up comedian. Like, that's the answer. They're looking for food. Yeah, and I'm walking with an Applebee's to-go bag, traveling and jumping across a seven-lane highway because the only way to get places is by car, and I don't have a car.

That's so true. The Applebee's is right there, and you're like, I'm going to risk my life to get that cheddar chicken sandwich. I can see that salad bar buffet, but I can't get there. But I'm going for it. I've crossed

many a highway on foot. Yes, and there's things that you do. For the applebee. Yes. And it usually is an applebee. Yeah, and there's things you do that you don't do in normal life, and I feel like that's what makes stand-up so much fun. And you end up meeting other comics on the road, and there's something about it that's just very

real. It's like what you think stand-up is supposed to be. Yeah. Well, I guess maybe without having done it. As a kid, maybe you imagine big stadiums and things, but then you realize when you start doing it. As a kid, I had no idea. All I saw was comics on Letterman,

and then I saw them in sitcoms, so I thought, oh, you do Letterman, you get a sitcom, and maybe do some clubs in the city. Is that the end game for an Ataman? You want a sitcom? You know what? Just write me a check. I don And maybe do some clubs in the city. Is that the end game for an Adamant? You want a sitcom? I just, you know what? Just write me a check. I don't care what it's for.

Really? At this point, it's just about the money? I'm tired. I'm tired, Rory. Oh, you're not tired. Adamant, you just can't come. He's tired. I'm tired.

By the way, I'm doing Conan next week, everybody. Are you? Yeah, well, by the time this airs. I didn't know. What day next week? Well, I think it's going to be Tuesday or Wednesday in L.A. And they approved the joke that I do about the bad uncle. I got to go down.

Okay, Ryan. Good to see you. Thanks, Ryan. Thank you, Ryan. Thanks, guys. Thanks for stopping by. I know it's not your favorite activity, these podcasts. I'm from Idaho, which New Yorkers are the worst.

What's that? You can't even tell a New Yorker where the worst What's that? You can't even tell a New Yorker where you're from Where are you from? Ugh, you're from another place? How do you live? How do you live in another place? This is my favorite. New Yorkers say this kind of thing. I could never live anywhere else.

Oh, I could never. Do you hear New Yorkers say that? The burden of living in another place. Oh. How? How do you do it? I could never live anywhere else. I think you could, I really think you could.

I think if you used all your faculties and skills and really focused, you know, you might survive in a condo in Denver, you know? I can never. This is the only place I have an identity. The only place you feel comfy is every other street corner. There's a shattered man and nobody cares. That's where I feel most at home.

I could never live anywhere else. But Ryan, if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere. If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere. I'm sorry, that's not true. I mean, what kind of assumptions are you jumping to?

The audacity of that statement. I'm from a town of a thousand people in Idaho. Do you think New Yorkers could make it there? I don't. They couldn't make it there? What happened? I don't know he wandered off looking for

gluten free cupcakes and where are they? they're supposed to be right here they're not right here they're always right here I need my cupcakes

three days later we found a body. Turns out he couldn't make it here. Like maybe this is the easiest place to make it. You know, really? You think about that. Sure, you're going to get lost. Yeah, but you pop up out of the subway and go, oh, you know, really. You think about that. Sure, you're going to get lost. Yeah, but you pop up out of the subway and go, oh, the streets have numbers and I see six delis.

I think I'm going to make it. Oh, I made it. I made it. Stop it. Stop it with the attitude. It's not the end all be all. It's a great city. Greatest city in the world? I think we're overlooking a few things. What's that smell? It's the greatest city in the world. Don't step on that.

Greatest city in the world. You know what the problem is? The wrong people are saying that stuff. What do you mean you made it? Your father's paying your rent and you got a job tweeting for a startup? Is that what you mean? Congratulations, you really did it.

I love how half the room claps and half the room shuts down. Hey, we tweet for startups. I just needed a place to live, you know. I just needed a place to be creative. I? I just needed a place to be creative. I'm a writer, and I don't have a deal, and I had to be in the village. That's the only place I'm inspired,

and I can't afford a place in the village on my own, so I had to ask my father. It's the most creative thing I ever did. It's a great city. I mean, come did. It's a great city. I mean, come on, it's a great city. I didn't know what to do when I first showed up here. I would just get in line for things. That's what it felt like.

I would just wake up in the morning and go, let's go get in some lines. One day I found myself crowded on a boat With a lot of other hopeful sweaty people On the way to the Statue of Liberty What I realized is that these boat tour companies Have actually managed to just kind of recreate The immigrant experience

I don't even think they're aware of what they're doing But ten minutes in all I could think was Get me to America I don't even think they're aware of what they're doing, but 10 minutes in, all I could think was, get me to America. I don't want to be here anymore. I got to get off this boat and get a job and feed my family. So, you know my joke about being a bad uncle. Well, I don't want to give it away on the radio,

but it's about, it's to do with being an uncle and touching your nephew or niece inappropriately. I certainly don't approve it, and the joke is condemning it, in fact, but it's bringing up the subject. Being an uncle is an easy job, and it's almost impossible to be a bad uncle unless you commit a sex crime.

That's pretty much the only way to mess up unclehood. Like, if all you do is not molest your niece or nephew, you're considered a reasonable uncle. You know, there's a lot of ways to be a bad father, right? Somebody says he had a bad father, that could mean anything. That could mean he wasn't there for you financially, emotionally, he didn't nurture you, he didn't care for you. But if someone says he had a bad uncle, you know what that means, okay?

There ain't no ambiguity there. You knew, right? You never had to ask, oh, why was he a bad uncle? You just ask, oh, how often was he a bad uncle? Where did he bad uncle you? Conan would probably be the home for it because Conan is the home of the masturbating bear. Right. Is he the most kind of permissible, I guess? I would imagine so.

Do you find out who else is on with you in advance? Well, you can go on the website and next week. There was nobody I really, really, really didn't. I think Bob Odenkirk is going to be on one of the days. So maybe, I don't know if it's the day

because I don't know yet what precise day. But I saw Bob Odenkirk is coming. I think also the guy that used to work with Bob Odenkirk, David Cross,

is also coming on. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, these people are cool but they're comics or comic people and they don't... Well, they also have like an actor.

Don't they switch it up? It wouldn't just be comedians on one show. We'll see who's on. Ideally, it would be a beautiful actress and she would see my stand-up and she would say, I know you're a nobody

with a studio apartment, but wow, is that some stand-up. She'd say, but kid, you've got it. You know, and then we start dating, and then also get some publicity and with some Twitter followers. And then it's like you and Jessica Lange, and it becomes like Langeman. You know what I mean? They combine the two names. I think Jessica Lange's a bit old.

Not for you, though. You're an old soul, Natalie. You need a girl. You need a classy dame like Jessica Lange. Well, that's a good transition to our next topic because... Classy dames? Well, yeah. You know me and transitions.

They're not always obvious at first. You didn't see the Brian Hamlin transition coming, but when it hit you, you knew it. Oh, it hit. Are you doing a new transition night on Tuesdays over at the Fat Black where you just work on transitions? That would be really funny. It's just seven minutes of, you know what else I was thinking about? Doing it, I'm producing it. Speaking of ice cream.

Speaking of ice cream. It's all segues, all segues. Lemore, what's your last name, Lemore? Garfinkel. Garfinkel. Garfinkel. Lemore Garfinkel, also a big comedy fan,

but also she's a photographer. Yes. And so she emailed me or called me and said, do you want to participate in a book of comedians, pictures of comedians? And I said, you try and stop me. And so tell us, Lamor, about this book. Yes, Dan, I'm very happy that you are a part of this project. Good to be part of the project.

And so your picture is just blowing everybody's minds. They love it. You guys can see it. I'll show you. Okay, make sure you talk into the mic a little bit more. Clearly an enunciate. I will show you Dan's picture. It's a picture of me.

Can I describe it for our listening audience? It's a picture of me dressed as a 1930s-era Hollywood mogul. Really where you should have been born. This is what I was just saying about the Jessica Lange. Why do you think I transitioned after that? So you should know that there's a process I go through with each comedian before we shoot. I interview them. I ask them questions.

I have this black book where I write all their answers. And literally, if anybody finds this book, they can extort all of you. I have so much information. Oh, boy. But that's how we really come up with the idea for each person. I love this. Thank you. Let me describe it to the audience.

Maybe we can put this up on the website. It's like a Louis B. Mayer. I got a pinstripe suit. I'm smoking a cigar. I'm in an old-time-looking office with a pen and a contract. You're like the Jew that owned the toy store and went in clothes

on Christmas Eve. Yeah, exactly. Well, I'll tell you. That was the idea. He's the guy who canceled the nightly show. He's like,

kill the show. You know, and then one phone ring. This is the guy. This is an old school. Well, you're both right, by the way. This is an old school

Hollywood produced. They don't make these anymore. This is not like a Judd Apatow who respects women. Yeah, well, actually, my direction to you was, Dan, you have a little tomato in front of you. A tomato, exactly. That's what I called her.

This is a guy. Tomato, tomato. Now, this is a picture. We don't hear audio. But what I'm saying is, look, I got 100 actresses that can do this part as well as you. So what are you going to do? Yeah, exactly. That was the direction.

To convince me to give you this part. This contract. It had to be so... Also, you could just go like this. I want a boxing picture. And then here's the worst part. After I have sex with the actress, she don't get the part. That's right.

That was the plan. That's a hell of a backslide. That's a real producer. You know what? We even programmed the time on that old clock, the antique clock, to be 7.20, so he works late. Wow. And that one... Or shows up early. We don't know. Well, maybe. He's there.

Before the secretary comes in, yeah. But, um, anyways, the project, you know, the idea for it, I was really inspired, um, believe it or not, Artie Foucault, when he was in a coma. I was really... I've known Artie for many, many years. And, um, when he was in a coma, I've known Artie for many, many years.

And when he was in a coma, you know, it was really upsetting and sad. And when he got out of it, I was so excited that I called him and I said, you know, Artie, I want to do a portrait. And he was like, absolutely. You know, Artie, he loves having his picture taken. And he was like, absolutely. I follow him on Instagram. Yeah. So we did two portraits of him at the Underground, which I'll show you.

And he basically inspired this whole project. Directly into the mic if you could. I think it's okay. When does the book come out? Is it ready to go? Okay. So the whole goal here, that's this one. So it's a picture of Artie in a chair.

Looks like he's thinking he's meditating well the idea for this was I told him basically give me a look as if you kind of sold your soul to the devil because that's how you came back to life

because he came back against all odds really I mean and he's better than ever this new Artie is amazing he can't move as well as he used to

but other than that yes he is yeah but he's you know he's so full of life and so positive and amazing. And the other one is of him taking a selfie, which, you know. This is like classic Artie. I mean, you don't need any backstory there. You kind of know what you're dealing with.

That is fantastic. That's a picture of Artie taking a selfie while sort of leaning against a pool table. The pool table at the Fat Black Pussycat. His second home. That is a fantastic photograph. Thank you. You're a very talented photographer. Thank you so much.

Maybe you'll be on the project, too. Well, Rory, you're welcome to be on the project. I'd love to be on the project. Welcome to it. Here's my question. How much time does it take to set up a photo like that? How much lighting? So with this one, for example, we did everything.

It was just me and Artie, and we did the whole thing within an hour and a half, the two shots. Because I was kind of nervous because Liz gave us permissions and I didn't want to overstay my welcome. And we just went through it really quickly. With Dan, how long did it take us to do ours? A couple of hours? Yeah, maybe three hours. Three hours because you went through wardrobe.

He had to go through wardrobe. We did his hair. And then, you know, it was kind of like for me, it was testing the lights on him, and we had a whole set, you know, so it took a little longer. This here, the place was as is. I just, you know, the first shot, I moved the chair, I moved the furniture up a little bit, but yeah, it takes about an hour and a half.

It's awesome. Depends. I can show you pictures that took longer, like Carmen's. We went all the way up. Carmen Lynch. We went all the way up to Harriman Park to do hers. And she had hair and makeup. That's like she's Little Red Riding Hood eating chocolate.

We custom made the cape for her. I had a fashion designer. I must say also that I have people volunteering with me because the whole goal of this is to do a gallery opening, which will be a charity event benefiting children with some kind of, I'm not going to say mental issues, but anxiety disorder. And the reason that... You mean future comedians, I see.

Exactly. You got it. You got it. The reason this is so You mean future comedians, I see. Exactly. You got it. You got it. So, you know, the reason this is so fitting is because, you know, comedians go through so much, you know,

either anxiety or depression but I think that they're the only group of people I can, at least I know of, that channel that, channel it into such positivity with either, you know, writing sketch comedy

or, you know, just stand-up comedy, whatever it is and I find it to be really inspiring. And actually, I'm probably teaming up with a charity, with an organization that works with children who will use comedy as a way of overcoming their anxiety. Very cool.

Well, it's not working for us, but God bless. Is this your first solo project? Do you have other stuff out there? It is. I mostly shoot architecture. That's my bread and butter. I shoot commercial architecture in New York. For a living?

For a living. And I come from a background of advertising. I shot ad campaigns. And I must say that shooting comedians is probably the most fun subjects to shoot because they are so open I mean even when we sit and I interview them and we go over ideas and they're just so open to my crazy ideas and and they're willing to do it and it's just there's nothing more fun and when you know I worked on ad campaigns shooting the talent at advertising campaigns it's just the most boring thing you can do because they're just so And when I worked on ad campaigns, shooting the talent at advertising campaigns,

it's just the most boring thing you can do because they're just so empty. They're just these pretty people, and it's just, you know, they're boring. Now, if you were to sit down with Albanese, in my mind, I have an idea for Albanese. He's delivering pizza. Oh, I like it. Am I in a cutoff? Gene cutoff? You know what? We're going to have to... Your one ball is hanging out. Somebody order a pizza?

We're going to have to dig deeper than that, I feel like. He's spinning pizza. So I should stop cutting my jeans right now? Am I making a mistake? Am I moving too quickly? But he tried to capture the essence. Like, people say I'm like a 30s style dude, so that's why we did that. These pictures are amazing.

I mean, they're better than anything I've seen in, you know, Vanity Fair or Harper's Bazaar. Thank you. I mean, they're better than anything I've seen in Vanity Fair or Harper's Bazaar. Oh, thank you. I mean, really. I mean, that Corbin Lynch photograph. It's incredible. It actually almost looks like the stuff that's not red is in black and white, but it's not. They look like paintings almost. The way you've adjusted the color there.

Thank you. People say that to me. No, and that one of Rick is amazing as well. Yeah, the one of Rick Crome. Rick Crome is a nutty professor. Rick Crome was so much fun to work with. He was just, that's no surprise.

He's a professional. He was really, I mean, he's the best. He's the best. So can you just finish what you were saying? This is going to be

an art exhibit and then the book will be on sale? What's kind of going to happen So that's the goal. The goal is to do, once I have enough comedians and enough, you know,

names that will bring in the money, because that's the idea to do the charity event. Yes, I'm out. Oh, you're in, you're in. Rory's adorable. I think he'd be wonderful in your book of pictures. You're definitely in.

You're the best studio head I've ever worked with. So that's the idea to do the gallery opening event. To combine that with a comedy event, bring comedians in, that's how we're going to get them, collect the money. We're going to sell prints. We're going to, it's my own baby

and I am self-funding this, but it's totally my pleasure to give back because I feel so lucky, you know. So how many comedians do you have so far? Like how many? I have a few that I haven't shown you. I shot Jim Norton,

for example. I'm not showing it yet. And he was being peed on in the picture? That's his kind of... No, that's how he... That's his thing. To be honest with you, I think it's exaggerated, but I know he likes to talk about it. I don't want to ruin his reputation. He's probably one of the nicest guys. I know. Well, that's why I think he's full of shit. No.

And he's not nearly the creep that he pretends to be. Who cares? He's hilarious. All right, but I like authenticity. This man's never been crapped on. Oh, God. Alright, let's not. Steve, you want to have anything to add? This is our Steve, the manager, who's been sitting here listening. I don't know if he wants to talk or not. She said she would take my picture. Absolutely.

But you're the manager. I know, but not for the book, just for... No, no, no. What are you going to picture for? Tinder? He will be a part of it. You want to tell him our idea? Well, Steve, first of all, is a very old friend of mine, and it will be my honor and pleasure to add him because he's an inseparable part of this place. Unfortunately.

Oh, thank you very much. Merci, petite. That doesn't even make sense. So you're going to put him in the book or you're just going to humor him? Wait, can we talk about the premise? Yours? Yeah. You want to share that?

Well, you... Okay. Go ahead. All right, so Steve is going to... If you do Superman, I'm going to fucking flip the table. No, no, no. I already have somebody... 12 years ago. Actually, Greer Barnes might be a superhero.

Okay, that makes sense. That makes a lot of sense. Yeah. I would watch the shit out of a superhero movie if Greer Barnes was the superhero. Greer Barnes is the most awesome. Yeah, Marina Franklin would probably do her, not sure yet,

maybe as a 1960s blonde girl. Cool. We'll see, we'll see. But Steve's idea... Like an Area 51 type of deal. Yeah. Where like, you know... One of the men in black.

There's a crashed spaceship behind me and I'm carrying a, maybe an unconscious or dead alien in my arms. I love that. So is Todd Barry going to be the alien? With a smoking spaceship behind me.

Todd Barry's going to be the alien? I could see that. Just where you have two pictures of one? And I'm in like a black suit. I was going to say, you're in like a men in black. I have ash on my face. Okay. I could see that.

I don't know where to get an alien, though. Todd Barry, I said. I actually spoke about it. You got it the second time. The second time I got it in. Yeah, but seriously, she doesn't like to Photoshop anything. I don't like photo composing. Because I'm an architectural photographer,

these are called environmental portraits. These are not like close-up portraits, right? We see their environment of the person. So it's really important for me for authenticity to have the person really in the space. Because it would be a different project if I start photocomposing. I don't know where you're going to find that alien spaceship then. Well, no, I already spoke to my set designer

slash art director about it, and she said it's possible. We can do that. Pieces of scrap metal and some smoke. Yeah, we can come up with something. But since it's not going in the book, what's the reason for these photos of Steve? He might be in the book.

I feel like he's an inseparable player. But the book's not about the comedy, it's the reason for these photos of Steve? He might be in the book. I feel like he's an inseparable player. But the book's not about the comedy seller. It's about comics in general. Or maybe it is about the comedy. Comedians, but you know what? There are people who support the comedians. Thank God you're not my manager. I was going to say, man. You've got to get Steve being in the book. I have nothing against it, but I don't mind

if I'm not in it, but I like Steve being in the book. We all want Steve to be in the book. I would even love having Esty on it if she would do it. I would love having anybody, even a waitress that works here that's kind of known for working here, like Linda maybe. I'm open. I just have to say that I was so impressed with the generosity of all the comedians here. I'm really appreciative.

I wouldn't be able to do this, first of all, if I didn't get the okay to approach the comedians, because obviously otherwise you're just this creep who approaches, you know, I got the okay. Yeah, I'm going to say it a lot. You're a very pretty girl. No comedian is going to be like, go away from me. They're going to be like, well, look at this, I'm a pretty girl.

You're like, hey, you're going to pay attention to me for three hours straight with no one else? If you walked into any comic upstairs here at the cellar, nobody would be like, this girl's creeping me out. They'd all be like, oh, get up. Somebody get up so she can sit. Well, you know. She wants to take my picture.

In the beginning, though, you have to prove yourself somehow. You're not some creep off the street. So I'm very appreciative, and I'm really, really impressed with the generosity of all the comedians who, when they hear that this project is for charity in the future, you know, and it's... On an unrelated note, Hamilton went down to do a spot. He never came back. Oh, I thought maybe he snuck out like the sneak he is.

Maybe you underestimated him, Matt. He went down early because he's been... He went down early because he's... I mean, that was like 20 minutes ago. I hear the crowd clapping. By the way, he killed last night at New Jersey. Well, he always kills. He only kills right now.

Give us something that's new. Did you get Ryan to do this? Ryan will do it. We already spoke. We already have an idea for Ryan. How about lying in a manger? Yeah, I was going to say... No, we already have an idea.

We have a really cool idea for Ryan. Or like a Disney prince or something. We're just having dinner with God. You know what I mean? No, no, no? Something he could do. You know, guys, the whole idea is to dig a little deeper. I spoke to Ryan

and we came up with something really cool and really excited about it, actually. Ryan Hamilton, I'm going to say this. If people in New York City are struggling to get tickets to see Hamilton, I'd say scrap them

and come see Ryan Hamilton. Because he is one of the funniest humans on planet Earth. He is hilarious. And he only kills. He's really one of the best comed on planet Earth. He is hilarious. And he only kills. He's really one of the best comedians I've ever seen. He's one of those guys when I see him, I go, how the hell is this guy not clean, funny, always working on new material.

And he's actually, he's clean, but he's really fun to hang out with, I must say. He's not a stick in the mud. And you can tell your girlfriend you got Hamilton tickets. That's true. That's very true. Yeah. And here's the trick. Have sex first and then explain to her. No, I said I got Hamilton tickets. And here's the trick. Have sex first and then explain to her.

No, I said I got Hamilton. And then say which Hamilton? That we're at about an hour three. Yeah, we're going to cut in some comedy. We're going to cut in some comedy.

Some jokes. But I thought this was a nice episode. This was great. Thank you, Rory Albanese. Thank you guys for having me. It was very fun. Well, they say with regard

to the nightly show, they say when God closes one door, he opens up another. Now, I never believed that myself. You got to really believe in God for that one to be true. But in your case, this could be an opportunity for you to pursue more stand-up, as you've always wanted to do. Yeah, that's all I'm going to do, Dan. That's it.

No more day jobs. And be in Lemoore's book. That's all I'm thinking about. You don't have kids. After Lemoore said he could be in a book, I really just kind of tuned out. That's all I'm thinking about. What tour dates?

Tour Shmore. Lemore. Lemore. Lemore. Thank you for stopping by and we look forward to seeing the book and I hope you get

some big names because that'll really help. And keep us posted on the events and stuff so we can continue to plug it. Ryan did not come back to us,

which is fine because we're finishing up anyway, Ryan.