The Comedy Cellar: Live from the Table - Jackie Martling, Rich Vos and Keith Robinson

Episode Date: December 21, 2018

Jackie Martling is a legendary New York-based standup comic and was the longtime head writer of The Howard Stern Show on terrestrial radio. Rich Vos and Keith Robinson are legendary New York City-based standup comedians. They may be seen performing regularly at the Comedy Cellar.

You're listening to The Comedy Cellar, live from the table, on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com. It's live from the table, the official podcast of the Comedy Cellar here on Sirius XM 99. Rudog! Says you. This is your host, Dan Natterman. And, of course, if you're a regular listener, you know that that must mean that Noam Dorman has come up with yet another excuse not to come to the show. And in this case, it's a sore throat that has kept him away from our microphones, and he's saving his throat up because later he'll be singing holiday music here at the Comedy Cellar Olive Tree Cafe,

as they've been doing all week. So come on down for the holiday music. They'll be here until, I think, Sunday. Anyhow, we have with us Rich Voss. How's it going? Comedy Cellar. I'm just going from left to right. Jackie, I didn't mean to offend you by mentioning Rich first.

You offend me by being here. Sorry, Jackie. Jackie Martling is here. Legend and comedy seller podcast. Semi-regular. I believe this is your second or third time. Third. My intro should have had legend, too.

Legendary Rich Voss is here. Thank you. And the legendary Keith... I'm stretching the definition of legendary. You know, they use that legend so much that they should take to when there's somebody there who say, and here's so-and-so who's not a legend. That's true.

He's sitting to the left of you. That laugh can only come from one man. I'm not a legend. I make legends. Well, let me introduce you first. There you go. How does that feel? Keith Robinson is with us.

And we have Stephen Calabria who's kind of just sitting there. Who's not a legend. Well. The least legendary at the table, at least. Well, that may be. But I'm debating whether you're a guest or just sitting here. Why not both? But you'll chime in if something is interesting.

And Jackie, good to have you back. I'm thrilled to be here. I'm trying to turn off my headphones. Okay. Last time you were here, you were plugging a book, I believe. Well, I actually have some left. The book. They haven't all sold out.

Are you kidding? What was the name of the book, Jack? The Joke Man Bow to Stern. And you have to do the whole The Joke Man Bow to Stern because if you put in... The Joke Man Battle Stern? Bow to Stern. Oh, Bow to Stern. Because if you just put in Bow to Stern, you get a sailing manual for seventh graders.

So you've got to do the whole thing. How many books do you have? You have a couple books, right? I have a joke book, and since I've been here, I think my newer joke book came out. I had a joke book with Simon & Schuster in 1998 that was great. It was really fun. And this one, the new one, is called The Ultimate Jokebook. And everybody said, what's The Ultimate Jokebook?

I said, well, that's the jokes that weren't in the first jokebook. I have a question for you, and don't take offense to this, because I don't know. Do you write a lot of those jokes? Just about none. For real? None of them? Absolutely none. It's classic.

Somebody wrote these jokes, I assume. No. You're saying they just evolved like... This has been a conversation. We used to stay up and drink all night long in Fort Lauderdale Comic Strip. All the years... I've been collecting these jokes in my head since I was in third grade. And I really do know more than anybody in the world.

It's kind of scary. That's the only thing I know. That's the only thing I know, but I know them. And all the times, all the conversations we've had, the comics and friends and funny people, of all those people, none of them, nobody they've ever met, and nobody they've ever encountered in their lives, has ever claimed to have written this Dirty Johnny joke or that joke. Or the guy walking to a bar, any of those jokes.

They just have evolved and evolved and evolved. Well, that's an interesting thing is I've never heard anybody actually claim to write any of these jokes that people tell. Because they haven't. There was a writer, I think, for, I don't know if it was, he had one of the funniest jokes. A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, why such a long face? And the horse says, I just found out I have AIDS. I swear to you, I swear to you, if somebody maybe else wrote that, because I've written so few things.

But at one point when I was doing my joke show, I said, we got to do something different. And I said, what if we take a really stale old joke and add a little line to it? And I did that. Maybe somebody else did it. But as the horse walks in a bar and the bar does a wide, long face, he says, I have cancer. Oh, see. But there's only two jokes that I was able to do. The other one was, Mrs. Johnson, can Johnny come out and play baseball with us?

And she says, no, you know he has no arms or legs. Oh, that's okay. We're going to use him for third base. And the mother says, okay, I'll dress him in white. They kind of jokes have to be so well known. It's one joke that you did. I remember in Philadelphia somewhere you was in Philly. And I never forgot that one joke.

It was like 86. I probably told it last night. Everybody goes to Dallas. Oh, God. That's my favorite joke. How does it go? Well, it's a visual joke. But I actually did that joke on a Red Fox video that Dice still claims was his launching pad.

It was a Red Fox video with me and Dice and Schimmel. And Red Fox had a protege. I forget his name. Ronaldo or somebody. And what was the girl's name that was Lenny Bruce's girlfriend when he died? Kitty? No. Not Kitty.

No, it's his daughter. She had a real weird name. But it was an actual... Like a strippery name. It was called Red Fox's Dirty, Dirty Jokes. And that was the last joke that I did. And people used to come up and say, do Dallas, do Dallas. And now Gilbert Gottfried is doing kind of these types of jokes.

As far as I know, he's the only guy, the only other guy that's really telling them. And I swear to God, Gilbert came on the Stern show 4,000 times. Every time he came in, I told him another dirty joke. Well, Gilbert was doing obscure impressions of people that you had to be 45 to

70 years old to get. But he'd do impressions of a guy doing impressions of somebody. It was so off the wall funny. I mean, his Brenner was fucking amazing. Narrowcast. Oh, yeah. You talk about Dave Hawthorne. When I started with Dave Hawthorne in 1979, he

did like eight impressions and they were all dead. Nobody remembered Walter Brennan in 1979. I remember when he did Walter Brennan. But wait a second. I remember what he did, Walter. Hair to Luke, hair to Luke. But wait a second. I thought for Stern, you used to throw him one-liners. I never wrote or told jokes on Stern ever.

You didn't throw him anything? Yeah. What I was doing is if you were talking to him, if you're talking to Danny and you guys are having a conversation and I'm, if there's three guys here, and theoretically I'm funny, you guys are having a conversation and I think of something witty to end the conversation, instead of saying it, I'd write it and hand it.

So you're not just funny as you, you're funny as you plus me. So that made him... So what I'm saying is, because I know you did that for you, that your ad-lib skills are as quick as anybody, because that's ad-libbing basically. It was totally improv,

which is diametrically opposed to my act, which is just ridiculous. So if you're on stage, because we never worked together in all these years, which is surprising, because, you know, you're not going to open for me. So anyhow, if somebody heckled you in the audience, would you ad lib or go out or just?

You know what I'd do? I would ad lib something that worked in 1979. You know what I mean? You get to where you have your arsenal. Yeah. You know, and you say them before even, it's like a knee-jerk reaction. Well, you did open for me in 1986, I remember. By accident. No, it wasn't by accident.

It was the way it should have been. And I was in the back. I was in the back going, who is he? He stinks. Jackie, if we don't know who wrote these jokes, then do we at least know? Colin Quinn wanted to get together and try and do a special on this,

and I still think it'd be great. It sounds like, if it's what I think it is, it sounds like it could be good. Well, what it is, I always tell people, you know, people say, oh, who wrote this or who wrote that? Because there's nothing new. I'm a scholar of this crap, you know, and I've found, you guys all saw The Aristocrats and the book by Gershon Legman. The guy went around and collected jokes, and he had everything I've ever heard was in there from 1930 and 50, but they were from a million years ago. If you think that you could come up with something unique and funny about shit, piss, fuck, vomit, anything that hasn't been already said and joked about, what kind of ego is that? I mean, you know, it's all been said. There's fart jokes, like there's books full of fart jokes from the year 1200. Then you're saying regular,

I mean, then you're saying monology or stand-up, it's almost nothing that can be original. Do you know what I'm saying? It can be, because obviously it wasn't a microwave when the monks were writing the, you know. Well, people, you know, you always hear jokes after like a tragedy, like, I mean, after this going back, but after the Space Shuttle Challenger blew up and people said NASA stands for need another seven astronauts.

No one knew who came up with that joke either. But somehow it just. Those are written, you know, when we were on the Stern Show, I'll never forget this because the first time me and Fred actually attacked that, it was Howard's birthday and we had so many guests and it was a little tiny studio. The first studio we had at 755 Madison. So so many guests came. Me and Fred were allocated to the back of the room. And it was a day, this was a long time ago,

that Donald Maness tried to kill himself because he got caught stealing from the city or something. And it was a whole big thing where he ordered pizza and so there was enough juice there. And we made up a bunch of horrible, horrible jokes about this guy, Donald Maness, and how to do the jokes.

And we'd say, oh, Robin, look, we just got a phone call or a fax or email, whatever it was back then, from Wall Street. Because the theory was the guys are sitting around on Wall Street and they're all breaking balls and they all got time. They always said it came from Wall Street. And also because they had, before anybody else, Wall Street people had, like, tickers and online. And they could insert it. They could insert it, you know, like when Len Bias came out.

You know, like, boom. You know, the Len Bias jokes and stuff like that. But so many of them, you know, are recycled. You read a Madonna joke. It was about Liz Taylor. It was about Dolly Parton. Somebody came up with that Nassau joke but nobody knows who. Maybe a lot of people

at the same time. Five people could have come up with that. You know, it's an acronym. You know, and there's an A and the astronauts blew up due to math. Well, when you're doing your jokes, right? You're doing the jokes. If you're losing the crowd, what's your go-to joke to get them back?

I don't lose them. All right, I'm sorry. That's just you, Keith. I'm kidding. That sounds silly, but there's no joke that I would really go to because, you know, there are stronger ones. Sometimes you might jump, but I very rarely jump because sometimes they get tired or whatever, you know. And with

me, if I'm not working, if the stuff's not working, the next one isn't going to do any better. You know, and if they're not buying me, I mean, hopefully that doesn't happen anymore. Some of us, comics, we don't do what you do or what Gilbert does, but sometimes people will insert one of those kinds of jokes into their act.

I mean, Eddie Murphy in I think it was Delirious did a joke about the bunny and the fur, you know, here's one you can take of jokes into their act. I mean, Eddie Murphy in, I think it was Delirious, did a joke about the bunny and the fur. You know, here's one you can take home with you, whatever. However they phrase it. But, you know, I don't know what the comics think about that. It's fun. You know what?

I get so pissed off when people look down their nose at the concept of jokes. You know, I never got, I got a little famous on Stern, but I never got really known. And I have done nothing for 40 years. I've never been on HBO, no Showtime, no Central, no nothing. Because all I've done for 40 years is make people laugh their fucking balls off for an hour and come up and say, I never laughed that hard. You don't learn anything. You don't go away with anything.

It's just stupid, stupid. But it's an art. What's our job? Make them laugh. You were, I think, one of the first to start doing merchandise. Weren't you? I really was the first. The first comic.

Oh, please. You know, when I started, like Robert Klein had an album with probably CBS and Richard Pryor has it. But those were big, huge companies. And I had worked at a recording studio because I was a musician and I knew how to make a record. So that place you were talking about, Free Will and Eddie's, whatever it was. It was called Cinnamon in 1979.

That was the first comedy show on Long Island. And me and Richie Minervini did the show there. And I had my amplifier. And on a cassette, I recorded me on one side and the crowd on another side and mixed it down and cut it up. You know, the half-inch tape, I cut it up with a razor blade and made it great. Borrowed $100 from 15 different people. Took my class picture where I'm giving the finger and sent it to Nashville.

And I'll tell you, when I picked up those albums at Port Authority, you would have thought I was picking up quintuplets. A horror, you know. And then I'd go to my shows, and I'd stand there and sell them, and the guys would make fun of me. When I went to Fort Lauderdale, I'd autograph my album and sell them for five bucks, and I'd stand there and sell them, and the guys would make fun of me. When I went to Fort Lauderdale, I'd autograph my album and sell them for $5,

and they'd break my balls. And then one day somebody said, wait a minute. We each made $40, and he's walking out of here with an extra $80. Maybe he's not that stupid. I know Rich has a few albums. I have one. How many do you have? Five.

Five albums. Okay. Keith, do you have an album? I have an album, yeah. Oh, okay. I've got to tell you an album story. I many do you have? Five. Five albums. Okay. Keith, do you have an album? I have an album, yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, I got to tell you an album story. I'll do it real quick. Now, you didn't do it.

Mine were on, like, literally on wax, like 33 and a third. Your stuff is CD, right? But I was as down on my luck as I possibly could have been at one point. Now? No. What, working Dangerfield? Yeah. I took it So

I took My ex-wife It was Christmas coming up So I'm driving home From a one-nighter In Ohio Whatever And I see all these cassettes

And the trucks stop Right? You remember that? The trucks And I'm sure I have the same story Okay No, no So

I talk to Vic Henley. He goes, this is the guy. The guy says, send me a demo. So I went to Stand Up New York. I didn't know. I did a clean set. I thought that's it. He calls me back when I'm broke and goes, you're not right for truck stops.

Because you made it clean. Yeah. Somebody called me, said they were in a truck stop down south, and there was a wheelbarrow, like a bucket. What do you call it? One of those wheelbarrows. What's the word? Barrel.

A huge barrel full of my cassettes. Keith, do you sell them? They just bootlegged them, made them, and sold them. I had no idea. And you know who else did that? Good luck. Yeah. I think my guy was selling them out the back.

Bud Friedman recorded all the guys out there and sold the cassettes. It was the evening at the Improvs, right? Yeah, and took, you know, I wasn't involved in that, so I don't, you know. Because they called me up at the Stern Show and said, can you do something about this? I said, listen, Howard's not going to, you know, what's he going to do? Say on the air, like, yeah, yeah, yeah, but what did, you know, please. Keith, when did you do your last album? I did for the Back of the Bus Funny.

They made an album. Oh, they made an album. That was your Comedy Central or HBO? Yeah, Comedy Central. Well, it's Comedy Central, Netflix, Hulu. Do you sell it when you go do shows? No. Okay.

I'm not like that. Yeah, not everybody is. I can't hunt my albums like Rich Voss. First of all, I'm making my sixth album coming up. And in life, you can't keep what you got unless you give it away. And when I leave, my legacy, at least six fucking albums. And also... Well, I'm on TV, movies, and all that.

So that's a difference between me and you. You want to swap? I may move it. I may move it. Because you don't want to do those bit parts he does. Okay, now the black guy. So... What do you call...

I brought my wife's engagement ring. This dude, I was at a 12-step meeting. I go, how's your girl? He goes, we broke up. I go, what did you do with the ring? He goes, I got it. I go, you can't keep it. And I went home, and I took my CD money out of the safe, and I bought this engagement ring.

And did you scratch off the initials? I gave it to my wife. Tony, change a name. I make money on Sound Exchange, a serious satellite radio and they play it. Now the big money is with clean jokes because they play it on Last USA.

And they play that shit today. They are so hungry for clean stuff. If any of you guys have clean stuff. I have clean stuff mixed in with the dirty stuff but I don't think they perceive me as a clean guy so I don't know. They don't play me on that channel.

Let me tell you a typical story of a joke, okay? A friend of mine wrote a one-man show called George M. Tonight. It's a one-man show with the story

of George M. Cohen and the guy, the actor was fantastic and there's a brilliant play, Chip DeFetta, his name is, the guy that wrote it. No jokes, just a life story. In the middle of it, at one point, there's one joke that George M. Cohen says, okay?

So I'm thrilled because that's the joke that I bombed with so bad at the Don King roast. I'll tell you the joke later. So I said, you know what? I can't believe George M. Cohen did that. I can't tell you the name of the joke because the name is the punchline. And he said, you know what? I'll tell you the truth. The entire show is the truth.

Except for that. He never did that joke. He said, but I really wanted to put that joke in the play because that joke was told to me when I was a kid by, uh, oh, now I'm not going to think of the actress. Hello, Dolly. Carol Channing was a friend

of the family, and she told that to the family when he was a little kid and told them that she had been told the joke by her grandmother. Wow. So that's like five or six generations just there for the one joke. There's a million versions and the reason I did my version

was because it was Don King and it was a fighting audience. You've got to go up there and spit one line. They have no attention span for it. You guys probably heard it, but if you haven't, 1958, Floyd Patterson is going against Ingmar Johansson

in the World Heavyweight Championship. The announcer comes out and says, Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Madison Square Garden. In this corner, the challenger weighing 220 pounds in the black trunks from Sweden, Ingmar Johansson.

In this corner, the champion of the world from the United States, 250 pounds in the white trunks, Mr. Floyd Patterson. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He says, before we begin our bout, we have to sing the national anthem, the lovely Kate Smith. And someone in front says, Kate Smith, that fat twat, she sucked every cock on the East Coast.

And the announcer says, nevertheless. Rick Crone told me that joke. Which is a classic. And there's so many versions. And now Mary Smith's going to dance for you. And somebody yelled, Mary Smith's a whore and George M. Cohen says nevertheless classic, classic joke

and that's but you can see how because everything's a twist that joke could have theoretically been told in ancient Rome about Cicero, well Cicero is a you know, so and so Caligula Caligula's a fat

idiot. Can I ask all you guys a question? So, all you guys are joke tellers. What do you make of the new movement among the up-and-comers, younger comics, to get up and tell stories? First of all, we're different. We're all different styles.

Jackie, Keith, and me. No, wait, but were you being funny, or are you saying? No. No. No, we always tell stories. Yeah. Everybody tells a story. No, I don't.

That's nothing new. You're not talking about stories without punchlines? Well, you guys are principally set up punchline, right? No. Yes. I'm trying to be as personal as I can about my life when I'm up there. And make it funny. Yeah, make it funny.

Some are one-liners. But I try to, and how I see things in life and what I'm going through, through all my divorce, recovery, drug addiction. So I try to be personal because then when the audience walks out, they go, well, we know him. How long ago were you addicted to drugs?

32 years clean. You're good now. You're saying you should update. I'm sick of your shit. I'm sick of you. You don't have to listen to me, but I have to see you. It's nothing new, Stephen, about telling stories. I mean, Woody Allen had a whole long story about a moose, you know, a Jewish couple dressing up as a moose.

You're familiar with that. Yeah, but that wasn't the prevailing approach. Well, he wasn't doing the personal stuff. Well, Pryor was. If he was, he was like, hey, when I was with that 60-year-old. They said the turning point was before Lenny Bruce, it was Catskills and jokes. And after Lenny Bruce, people started talking about their life. Here's the deal, in my opinion.

Okay, comics, and I'm not talking about the Mark Normans and the Joe List and those guys. I'm talking about the newer comics right now are so fucking entitled because they have... They think they have a podcast with 500 listeners so they'll say... Like, they attack comics that are, you know,

that have achieved stuff. Like, when I started... When I started, I would have never went after, even like a Joe Bolster or a Wolfberg or, you know what I mean? Not in your wildest dreams. Because I respected comedy and comics. Well, also, how would you go

after anybody? There was no podcasting or social media. Whatever. But I hear what you're saying, but it was also easier now for people to trash people. Yeah, but as a young comic, they have no idea the history. You could ask. If somebody came up to you after a show and said, hey, I saw a guy last night.

I saw Dennis Wolberg. I thought he was great. You wouldn't have said, oh, no. He sucks. He's a jerk. Never. I have to cop, too. Yeah, go ahead.

Wait, hold on. What? I'll get to it. If you ask nine out of ten comics now who's Bob Newhart,'s Steve Lannisberg who's Red Fox who's Sid Caesar none of them know the history of comedy

do you realize well you realize where we are old man yelling people to get off the lawn when I was a kid I walked 5 miles

to go to school no no I agree with you ask anybody if they know fucking Sid Caesar they don't have to know Sid Caesar.

No, you have to know the history of what you do. There's so many of them don't know who Johnny Carson is. I'm serious. If you have to know the history, but I do agree that you should respect people that have been doing it a while. Okay. But I will cop to... Sid Caesar. I'll ask Dan, who's Von Meter?

Von Meter? I don't know. I know. JFK impersonator. Yesator who ended his career. Once they were assassinated, done. From Park Avenue to Park Bay. He went back up to Maine to manage a store. Why do I have to know who Von Meter is?

He did the first family. He did nothing for me. And Lenny Bruce, do you know the story? Yes. You know the story? You should tell it. Lenny Bruce had to do a show? Yeah. You know the story? Tell it. Lenny Bruce had to do a show like a couple weeks after Kennedy was assassinated. It was like going up after 9-11, like, what the fuck do you do?

And he went up, and his opening line was, Vaughn Meter is fucked. Which is just so dark and so brilliant. Nobody wanted to hire him after. Oh, jeez. I was at a table with Bud Friedman and Bud's wife on a cruise. Bud had like the improv cruise. It was like 1998. And they were talking about Rita Rudner.

I was a much younger comic. Fucking great joke writer. And I said, yeah, she never really did it for me, Rita Rudner. Which was the stupidest thing to say in front of Bud Friedman and his wife because you never know whose friends would do it. And Bud's wife said, she's my best friend. And I literally said, let me my best friend. And I said, I literally said,

let me finish because I was referencing the old let me finish joke. And figured at that point I was fucked. I might as well make light of the situation. That piece of shit.

Ron Best, you didn't let me finish. He was one of the best joke writers coming up. Rita Runner was just brilliant. You didn't think so? You didn't like her joke writing? I didn't like her.

It's alright not to like someone. Because of the entitled feel of her show. Because of the entitled feel? To me, it always felt like, and she was so funny, but it almost felt like she came across like, I'm wealthy, I don't need to

do this, but I'm doing it for a lark. But she was great at it, and that doesn't hold. I never got that sense. I just didn't appeal to me. I interviewed her for our movie, Women Aren't Funny, and I talked to her, and she did all the one-nighters before the fucking dress. She did all the shitholes. Oh, she used to come out the east side and do all those ones. She did the whole thing.

Then she found her character. It's just like, you know, Larry the Cable Guy wasn't Larry the Cable Guy in the beginning, and he became Larry the Cable Guy. And I'm going, this fucking guy went around the business, made a fortune, and did it on his own. Dane Cook went around the business. Fox, all of them went around the business and did it on his own. Dane Cook went around the business. Fox, all of them went around the business and did it on their own. So you've got to respect Caratop around the business.

I didn't do what they did, but I jumped over the clubs in the city and wound up on the radio, which was kind of going around, not winding up in the business, but it's kind of the same. Yes, you did what you did around the business. It's crazy. You weren't doing Carson. I mean, David Say did 14 Carsons, and what the fuck happened to David Say?

And he was such a good writer. He's the guy I jumped up drunk on stage on audition night at Catch a Rising Star and told the joke, and he came back in. He was hosting. He was MC, and he let me finish the joke, and on the way out he said, that was a good fucking joke. Do you ever think about doing

this? And I said, you heard that joke before. He said, I never heard. And I said to myself, I swear to God, like a light bulb, that's the MC at Catch a Rising Star. If he hasn't heard that joke, maybe nobody's. And it turns out nobody remembers the jokes except me. When I was, before I even started doing comedy and watching comics on

Letterman, I only knew the comics that made it. You know, like Seinfeld and Riser and all these guys. And I thought everybody made it. But I didn't realize there was a whole... Those are the comics and they're all famous. Yeah, I didn't realize there was a whole group of people that didn't make it. So I figured all I got to do is come up with ten good killer minutes and I'll have a sitcom too. Which didn't really turn out like that.

You know how funny some guys were? Back then, Dennis Wolfberg and Joe Bolster, these were the biggest acts back then on TV. It's so fucking amazing. Watching Dennis Wolfberg just destroy a room was crazy. And he was clean. He wasn't dirty. He was a school teacher. And talking about one-nighters, we did a one-nighter at the Ground Round in Livingston, New Jersey with peanuts on the floor.

Me and him and Peter Bales, the night that he had called up and told them he resigned as a teacher, that he was going to do comedy full time. And he was so excited, and we had a killer show, and we get about two miles on the way home, and my car dies. So I leave Bales and Wolfburg on Route 3, hitchhiking in the fucking winter. I'm like, good move, Dennis!

By the way, I have Raghu Ren, who works here. He's our sound guy. He posted on Facebook a couple weeks ago a comedy seller list from 20 years ago, from 1998. And first of all, it's a lot of the same people. It's Greg Rogel, Greg Giraldo, Godfrey, Modi, Hood, who's not working here anymore, Jeff Ross, Pete Correale, Tom Rhodes, me, Robert Kelly, Jim Norton, Russ Meneve, Judah Friedlander, Eddie Yift. This is from one night in 1998. But nobody on this list

is over 35 years old at the time. Now, where were all the 40-something or even 50-something comedians in 1998? Because they weren't here. Now, if you look at the list, everybody is in there. Not everybody, but half at least are in their 40s and 50s. The chickens were being born, you know.

Like the whole. They were out. I know. Those guys were all the guys that went to L.A., like the Mike Langworthys, the Mike Rose, Steve Scrovan. All those guys went to L.A. and became writers and showrunners. Road Seinfeld show, right. Yeah, and showrunners. And they were doing the road, too.

And what's gone took a lot of whiff of, too. Ray Romano. Ray Romano. But this is about when Ray hit and it was 98. Yeah, Ray hit. Well, yeah, when did Ray hit? That was 20 years ago. About 98.

20 years ago? I think it was 98 when Everybody Loves Raymond started roughly at that time. Yeah, that's when Ray hit. But everybody was getting sitcoms back then. Like 1979 and 80, there weren't any older guys. started roughly at that time. Yeah, that's right. Maybe a little earlier. But everybody was getting sitcoms back then. Yeah. Like 1979 and 80, there weren't any older guys. And it could be that there just weren't as many. I think that... There was no place to be nurtured in 1960 and 1962.

Yeah, you're right. People were starting in the early 80s. Yeah. In the 80s. Oh, you remember Chris Rock had a show in 98. The Chris Rock show on HBO. That's when the show started. You remember Chris Rock had a show in 98. The Chris Rock show on HBO. That was 98?

Yeah, that was 98. And so Chris Rock took Wanda with him. Lance? Lance Brothers. Louis C.K. was with him. Mario Joyner. All these shows was being taken up. That's where all the comics was going him. Mario Joyner. All these shows being, you know,

was being taken up. That's where all the comics was going to. But I do think there were less people in their 40s and 50s doing comedy at that time too. You're right.

Because they were either in the cat skills before that or stopped or, you know. So if you guys could take it. I think more people

are coming into comedy anyway right now because they see it everywhere and it's almost becoming like a normal thing to do. Yeah, it's like when I was a kid, I would have never thought that was a choice

you could make. I thought you had to be anointed. I remember I was in school, in college, and I said to the drummer in my band, what's your major? And he said radio and TV. I said, what are you... I thought, you can't choose that. You have to be anointed. You've got to be plucked out. It was just something. You could take, you know, literature

or take radio and TV. Who knew that? I was going to ask, if you guys could take it all away, would you rather come up in the business now or when you did? Is it easier now or was it easier then? When we came up, first of all, we were so close. We had such...

I mean, we were... It was camaraderie. Yeah, we were a tough crowd before a tough crowd came on the air. Me, Keith, Patrice, Norton, Colin, DePaulo, Billy, Kevin, Kevin Hart. Who's Billy? Billy Burr. Kevin Hart. So we were doing, and then Colin had this concept that was fucking amazing, you know, tough crowd, which if that lasted two more years, Keith and I would be famous.

No, because of what's going on. We would have probably been in jail. Definitely one or the other. Well, you know, I'd rather be young if I could take my jokes with me. But you're not offering that, I suppose. No, no. You're coming up in the business now. If I could go back to being 25 and take all my jokes with me, obviously I would do offering that, I suppose. No, no. If I could go back to being 25 and take all

my jokes with me, obviously I would do that. How old were you when you started? About 23. I was 28. And how old, Keith? 20. You were 20? I saw that. How old were you on that Star Search clip I saw at Amy's house? Star Search, I was

93. That was about 29. I was 31. I was older. That was about 29. I was 31. 31. I was old and buried. You were in the music business prior to that. Well, in theory, yes. It was Rodney's old joke. I quit music.

And to give you an idea how well I was doing, I was the only one who knew I quit. You could have done a Young Comedian special. Yeah, if I got asked to do it. But I did the old stupid jokes. Rodney was like a pal, but I just didn't fit anywhere. The only thing I did was make people laugh and book people. But Red Fox did a lot of those old jokes. Oh, yeah, no, he was the guy.

He had a lot of dirty jokes that made me, he had to have me rolling. Oh, Christ. When I met him backstage when we did that dirtyirty Dirty Jokes, me and Dice and them, he said, I heard of you, Jackie Marlin. I heard of you and your records. Because I was the new guy on the block with the Dirty Records. I heard of you and your records. The test as to whether anybody wrote

those jokes, and it's hard to believe somebody didn't write them, but nobody sued Jackie Marlin. I have never had a person in my life come up and say that's my joke. Although I have seen people do my exact version of a joke, which to me is as much thievery

as anything. Because you take a joke and people say, oh, they're old jokes. All right, here's a joke book. You find the 50 jokes in here that'll work on stage that you can sell. I defy you. Because I did it organically. I've been telling these jokes for 70 years. I know what works organically. I've been telling these jokes for 70 years. I know what works to people.

I know what I could sell. It sounds ridiculous, but there's an art to it. Everybody's going to Dallas a couple of times. It got me out of a lot of trouble. Someone came up to me. Here's a joke I can't even say because I feel like a fraud. But after a show, somebody gave me a bit that I did that was so good, and I've done it for years.

And I'm going, that person couldn't have wrote that joke. But no one ever approached me, and the joke was if Moses would have walked two more miles, we'd have all the oil. And it's one of my... You still do that today. I did it last night! That's a great, great joke!

So, but... That's the only joke I've ever taken from an audience member. And for all you know, we heard Steve Allen do it. I know. I know. It could be. You're right. But, you know, so you... Bernie Mac used to close his show

with a joke joke. And then it destroyed. So did Patrice. Yeah. They're funny. Patrice did. They're funny. Rodney, this was a great story.

I hope I didn't tell us. If I told us last time, tell me to shut up. I probably don't remember. If you don't remember, I don't remember. When I was with Rodney in Las Vegas, he would open mail. People sent him jokes. Wait, you opened for him in Vegas? No, no, I was with him.

I was traveling because I had sold him some jokes. I'll tell you. I said to him, let me look at the jokes. Maybe something doesn't strike you. You never know. So he's opening the mail and passed them to me. Mostly horrible, horrible stuff. But we're reading them and stuff.

So he got to trust me a little bit. There was one joke. I looked at it and said, how the fuck could you pass this to me? This is the funny this is your quintessential joke. And he did it that night to the sold out Las Vegas and it was fucking crickets.

And I screamed. You know how you laugh when the other guy bombs and he was pissed at me for like a whole day because it was too much for an audience to comprehend because, you know, she was so fat, you know. And then, oh, she was so ugly. And the joke was she was so fat and ugly, she had a hairdresser for each armpit,

which is really funny, but it was just a little too much for the Las Vegas, you know, cow catchers to catch on to. But one night he calls me up and I'm telling this story like I'm telling you guys this story. I'm telling this story at the Friars Club to a bunch of friends.

And he calls me up and says, so you've got to tell me. I need a judgment call. Tell me if this is too strong. Tell me if this is too strong. I get no respect. I've got a parrot calls me Jew bastard. Okay, so I fall down. He goes, what do you think? Is it too strong?

I said, I don't know if it's too strong, but it's the funniest joke in the world. I said, but to tell you the truth, I lost track of him, and I had no idea if he ever used it. You know who Dick Capri is? Yes. Dick Capri's at the next table. He gets up, and he says, Martling, not only did Rodney use that joke in his act, but that was his signal joke. That was his way of letting you know

that it was just about done. So if you were in the dressing room at Dangerfields getting a blowjob, you better pull up your pants because you're going to be down there in five minutes. That's the only time Rodney's, I think, ever acknowledged being Jewish that I've ever even heard of. I didn't even know Rodney was Jewish. He wasn't. Jacob Cohen from Babylon?

But I think he always tried to be the every guy, the every schnook, and so he never really brought it up. So it's interesting that he would tell that joke. Nobody really thought about it, but yeah, of course. Is that true that Seth Schultz was doing I Get No Respect and gave it to Rodney?

The story was... Seth's much younger. No, Seth's father, Georgie Schultz. Oh, George. And he wasn't doing, the story that I always got was, he wasn't doing I Get No Respect. He was doing I Insist on Respect. He was a Jewish guy trying to be an Italian guy saying,

I insist on respect. I want respect. And they said that that's where Rodney came. Ron Richards, you know who that is? Way, way back. Ron Richards wrote for the Letterman Show when it was on in the morning. Remember that far back? So Ron Richards said that when they did This Is Your Life for Rodney,

they said he was sweating bullets. Because, you know, he was scared. Do you remember this guy, Georgie Starr, the guy you got no respect from? They didn't bring it up, though. I don't know. It's one of those things. People say, oh, Dice stole everything from Otto and blah, blah, blah. People are so crazy. And then you see

apples and oranges. Richard Lewis had a problem with Paul Reiser. They couldn't be any more different. They couldn't be... Hey, that was my idea to be Jewish. I fucking love Richard Lewis had a problem with Paul Reiser. They couldn't be any more different. They couldn't be... And Richard Lewis... Hey, that was my idea to be Jewish. But, you know, I fucking love Richard Lewis, but you could say he was a little like Woody Allen.

Of course... It's a come-closer problem. Well, I mean, people have similar styles. You know, people... Anybody that does that absurdist one-liner could be said to be based on Stephen Wright. Of course. Of course.

It's like, what do you come closest to? I do want to discuss briefly that little Comedy Cellar business. This week at the Comedy Cellar, the TV show on Comedy Central is over for the season. They're still waiting to see, I guess, if it's going to get picked up for another season.

I don't think you ever did it, Keith. No. Okay. He turned it down. He didn't need the money, I guess. I guess Amy Schumer's throwing you some good coin for that podcast. No, it's not about needing the money. I just didn't feel it. Well, I didn't feel it either, but I wanted the money.

Yeah, well, you wanted the money, but I just didn't feel it. I wanted to do it because my wife was doing so many, and I couldn't sit home watching my daughter, and my wife is out doing TV that I can't have, sit home watching my daughter and my wife is out doing TV that I can't get. So it was driving me nuts. And then I did it one time. We did a table with me, my wife, and Bobby Kelly.

And Bobby and my wife were talking down to me like I was the open mic-er on the fucking show. I fucking yelled at my, during the tape and I go, who the fuck do you think you're talking to? Now I want to see that. Did you get, were you, you did the also taping the stand-up part of the show.

I did a stand-up once. Here's what, they sent me the topic. But I thought it was for Tuesday, it was for the next night. So I do a couple jokes, but the table's what I was comfortable doing because it was basically tough crowd. The table was, you know, when I did the first table, it was me, Bobby, and whoever. And me and Bobby know how to, you know. But I can't do any. And then I did the table again with my wife and Bobby.

And I can't do anything with my wife unless it's me and her. Because if someone else gets involved. That's an odd dynamic. It definitely is. Well, because we've done 350 podcasts together. But if we do it together, we'll either attack the other person or they'll attack me.

You know what I mean? But I'd rather do the table every time they tape that show. Fuck the stand-up. I don't care about that. Well, I found it very nerve-wracking because you had to, Jackie, you had to come up with, they gave you topics and you had to come up with jokes about the topic. On the spot? Well,

you got a couple days, and then they taped you. Or, if you had a joke in your act that somehow you could manipulate it into big, like I had a joke about, um, about a family dinner, okay? So, I just, and then Thanksgiving was the topic for one week, and I just made the joke about a Thanksgiving dinner, okay? So I just, and then Thanksgiving was the topic for one week, and I just made the joke about a Thanksgiving dinner.

And it became a topical joke, and it got on the show because it was one of my old tried and true jokes. But it's obviously much more difficult to write a joke two days before that's going to kill. That you're not practicing. That hasn't been practiced. It's doable, it's just much more difficult. But it's, you know, when I started, the first time I started doing what wound up being Stump the Joke Man on the Stern Show,

and now I do it on my shows where people try and tell me a joke. They give me the first line. I give them the answer. When I first started doing it, I called it, you know, Stump the Comedian, but it wasn't two-line jokes. I'd say, give me a topic. And it was basically that. Somebody would give you a topic, but it was too specific. You'd back up.

Somebody said, ham sandwich. All right, delicatessens. And before they know it, you're telling a delicatessen joke. So you're kind of hitting the topic they want, which is basically somebody saying dinner or we're doing Thanksgiving or I'll take my dinner thing. But that even, you know, when you have your act, even my stupid jokes, they have a flow and you tell them the same. So if all of a sudden you've got to change it.

Why do you keep saying stupid jokes to have fucking good jokes? Oh, yeah, no, no, but I'm saying that there's, you do them the same. So all of a sudden, it's not that easy on the fly to adapt it that quickly. That's true. That's true. The other night I was listening on Sirius and you were on, and you were doing a whole chunk on Jew jokes. I said, Jew, I'm going, can you maybe get to the Italians? I go, I get it.

Let's move over to the Italians. It was probably a hunk of one of the CDs. And I usually jump, jump, jump. A hunk of Jew jokes. Well, I read your jokes on Twitter. You tweet jokes. Has that been helpful for you from a marketing standpoint? How do you know?

I don't know if you're getting a lot of new followers. Oh, yeah, no. Every time I do a podcast, at Jackie Martling, I'll do a plug. And some days they're horrible and some days they're good. And people yell at you, but they I'll do a plug. And, you know, some days they're horrible and some days they're good and people yell at you but they go back and read them, you know. But I've been doing it

for like a lot of years, you know. It's getting a little thin, you know. Were you friends with Bartlett? When we started,

it was me and Bartlett and Hawthorne, Minervini, Myers, Hawthorne, and Woods. That was the seven people. Oh, and Minervini. I think I said Hawthorne, Minervini, Myers, Hawthorne, and Woods. That was the seven people.

Oh, and Minervini. I think I said Hawthorne twice. And it was Long Island seven, no blacks and no Jews. It was so weird. The only, you know, seven just Long Island guys, and we all sucked, but it was so much fun. And it was just like you're talking about. You know, there was nothing like that fucking car ride. Yeah. There was nothing like that car ride.

We'd be so drunk by the time we got there. I worked Bartlett. Who was Bartlett? Because I don't know. Rob Bartlett. He's a very funny guy. Besides being one of the nice guys back then, probably the strongest act in the comedy clubs at the time.

When he did the fucking Beatles and the Dogs and whatever. He was just... Did he have a gun? A fake gun or something? Did he have what? A fake gun. That was probably Frankie Pace. With a little piano. These guys were...

Bartlett was so fucking... I'm not saying he's not funny now. I just haven't seen him. But back then, you'd watch Bartlett and go, I'll never be that funny as long as I live. He's very... And they love him. What's he up to these days? He's doing one-man shows.

He was the comedy guy on Imus for 30 years. He wasn't doing the same as me, but we kind of were running parallel. I was doing Stern and he was doing song parodies and bits on Imus. The whole world knew him and loved him. Wasn't he in the improv group with Eddie Murphy? Him and Murphy

and Bob Nelson were the identical triplets. Oh, yeah. It had to be hilarious, right? It was, they were great. They were great. They didn't really, they each did their act.

There wasn't a lot of interplay, a very minimum of interplay. Were you friends with Murphy? Did you know Murphy? I have my Murphy stories. The stories in my book, we did a show at a place called the Jade Fountain on Route 17. Yeah, I know. We were all Richard M. Dixon's.

We were all pals, you know. But he was, the day you met him at 17 years old, I'm going to be bigger than the Beatles. He was saying that. And he's bigger than the Beatles. He was saying that when he said, and he's bigger than the Beatles. But we went to the Jade Fountain on Route 17 and a carload of us and I did a,

Bill Maher's Politically Incorrect and he held up my CD and gave me this incredible promotion for hot dogs and donuts and I know he didn't open it up.

And afterwards, I said, Maher, that was a really nice plug. What was that? He said, Mar, that was a really nice plug. What was that? He said, well, it was the least I could do for the guy that gave me a ride home from my first road gig. He had been at the Jade Fountain this night, right? So it was Murphy and Clint, his right-hand guy, Clint Smith, and me and Hawthorne.

And taking Mar home to the west side, Hawthorne's muffler fell out on the cobblestones, and it's the winner, and I'm under the car, tying it up with a guitar string, all right? It's red hot. We're freezing. I tie it up. We're freaking out. We're coming home from the southern state. It falls again.

The southern state has no shoulder. We're on the side. I'm under there, freezing, burning my hands, and Murphy and Clint are in the back seat breaking Hawthorne's balls about what a piece of shit Kari has and everything. I'm like, what is wrong with you?

It's a miracle Hawthorne didn't make him walk home. But that was the kind of fun. And I put out an album, and I was recording my second album by now at the Eastside Comedy Club which existed. And then he came up to me and said, Jack, you have an album? This is your second album?

And I said, yeah. He said, I want to make an album. And I said, I'm too busy, Eddie. Famous, famous, famous list, you know. But he was good. He was cocky, but he was fun, was cocky but he was fun well that's a story about

he said he's going to be bigger than the Beatles there's a story about Jim Carrey that he wrote a check to himself in the amount of like 5 million dollars and post dated it like 5 years hence or whatever and then was able to actually cover it I've never heard that script

I don't know if that actually happened of course a lot of people have that arrogance and of course go nowhere and then was able to actually cover it. Oh, I never heard that's great. Yeah, I don't know if that actually happened. It was a million, okay. Well, of course, a lot of people have that arrogance and, of course, go nowhere. You know, obviously. I did that with $75 and a thousand. And you couldn't cover it. You know, there is no limit to the egos, right?

And, you know, the ego and the talent don't necessarily go hand in hand, but sometimes they do. And you asked about Steve Rizzo, okay? Steve Rizzo and a guy named Vince D'Antonio that was a ventriloquist. The nicest guy in the world. Sweetest guy in the world. Vince D'Antonio.

They work a gig in the middle of nowhere, okay? And they're coming back, and they hear about the John Lennon vigil. Lennon had just been shot, and the whole entire world is at the Dakota. So they go there, and there's reporters, photographers, a zillion people, and they check it out, and then they leave, because

Rizzo was a school teacher, and he had to be at school at 7 o'clock in the morning. Now, he lived out on Long Island, but he taught further out on Long Island. But this was in the hinterlands. And so to get a copy of the Daily News, he had to drive the wrong way and then get back to school by 7 o'clock.

So D'Antonio, who was just a rip, just a funny guy, goes to the diner after he gets dropped off and sees the Daily News, and he calls Rizzo and says, Rizzo! Rizzo, we're on the front page of the Daily News! So Rizzo is an egomaniac, and he couldn't sleep. So he had to get out of bed

and drive an hour this way to get the Daily News to get back two hours to school. And he gets to the fucking newsstand, and the front page of the Daily News was an aerial shot of the Dakota. Now tell me that's not breaking balls. Now that's funny. Ben Santona was one of the greatest guys. I worked with him on the road, and he was a ventriloquist.

There's Ben Santona and George and stuff like that. First of all, and we were on the road, and he was packing the dummies' outfits in another dresser drawer. He put his clothes and the dummies' clothes in the dresser drawer. Did you meet his wife? He had a wife that was a ventriloquist. No. And she was horrible.

Horrible. Horrible. But they did an act together and it was unwatchable. But they'd go to clubs and she'd pick up broads and they'd go home with the extra broads. So he didn't care how shitty her act was because they'd three it up. Oh, my God. What was that guy's name? Vincent and George.

And then George Quinton then went with Otto. But anyhow. Any thoughts, by the way, about Woody Allen, new revelation? Some woman says that when she was 16, she gave him her number at Elaine's,

and he had sex with her when she was 16. Well, if he's at a bar, how does he know? Yeah, come on. No, no, not that night. She gave him her number, and then he called her up. She came to the house. I'm pretty sure, allegedly, probably knew that she was roughly that age. She certainly looked it from the pictures.

Oh. You know, and... Yeah, go ahead, Keith. He's a little pervert. Yeah, but he's Woody Allen. But now, if she were 17, it would have been legal, but would you still be shocked? To me, that gets a little crazy.

If you put a 16-year-old girl there, and a 22-year-old girl, if you put a 16 year old girl there And a 22 year old girl And a 13 year old girl there And they made themselves up I know I'd be hard pressed to pick out who the hell is who That's a Calvin Klein fucking ad Yeah Jesus Christ

Well I think Elaine so what is this 30 years later Well yeah it allegedly happened when Woody was 41, so that would be whatever it was, 78 or something like that. And this was in 1978 or something like that? No, she was a white girl.

Here's the thing. Woody likes him young. When people go, because I think it's kind of creepy to be with somebody so young, even if you're 18 or 19 and you're like 50, I think it's kind of creepy to be, like, with somebody so young. Even if they're 18 or 19 and you're, like, 50, I think it's creepy. And they go, that's not creepy. I go, well, if you saw a 50-year-old man with a 19-year-old boy, would you call that creepy? They go, yeah.

So, why isn't it creepy? I just think it's creepy. It is creepy. Would it be as creepy if it was a 19-year-old boy and a 50-year-old woman? Give me five. Well, that would be a different kind of creepy. That wouldn't be creepy. It would just be weird either way. How about the 13-year-olds whose school teachers are blowing them?

God bless them. Yeah, Jesus Christ. Try and do that, man. Then she goes to jail. Jesus Christ. Well, you can't have and she goes to jail. Jesus Christ. Well, you can't have two different sets of laws. We all know that if you're a good-looking 30-year-old teacher banging a 13-year-old student, we all know it's not the same thing as a 30-year-old man teacher.

Yeah. I think, I'll speak for myself, it doesn't seem like the same thing to me. It's like you watch two girls kiss, or do you want to watch two boys kiss? It's like sometimes things just aren't equal. But you can't have two sets of laws. Of course not. So you have to just, you know, I guess put the woman in jail. I don't know.

I just want to know is we were having this great comedy discussion, and you brought in. Yeah, Jesus Christ, Dan. Because I think it's an important. Well, because on this show we also do what's going on. Topics. He's always going on. And I think it's an important...

He's just being a jerk. I think it's an important and interesting topic. Woody's a pervert. Let's get to it. Yes, he's a pervert. But are you outraged when you hear about a 41-year-old man at the time and a 16-year-old... If a 41-year-old comedian today were dating a 16-year-old, how furious... How disg 16-year-old. If a 41-year-old comedian today were dating a 16-year-old,

how furious, how disgusted would you be on a scale of one to ten? He's on stage right now. Does it matter? Does he know it? Yeah, yes. The truth is,

there are 16-year-old girls that carry themselves a lot better than some 30-year-old girls. We've all been there. But you know. But you know who's 16. Look, I think you might figure it out, especially if you've dated her, if you're dating her.

Well, I think as a guy that has three daughters, I'm disgusted by it, you know, because I just think of my kids, you know. And I just think it's, yeah, it's fucked up and it's molestation. But the classic thing is, did he rape her or did he have sex with her? Well, he had sex with her, which is technically rape if she's under statutory rape. But the classic thing is, and I'm not defending him, but say something. As soon as you are. She said, even today she said she didn't mind. She mentioned to somebody and somebody said, hey, you know... It's a story.

Well, it's just a story. She wanted... I don't know why she came out with it, but she does not say that she's angry at Woody. She just says, this happened. She's not saying that Woody's an evil man. No. Yes, she is. But I don't know what she's saying.

She's not going to upset his apple cart. She's a little key saying it. Well, she might be saying it, but not saying it. Yeah, she's saying a little key. But, of course, a lot of other people are saying it. But who's shocked at what he did? I'm not shocked. His stepdaughter?

Yes. Now, that's crazy. And maybe the 70s. They say we're different. I was too young at the time to know what was going on. There's nothing different about sleeping with your girl or your wife's. Well, no, I'm talking about the 16-year-old. Now you're talking about Sun Yi.

Yeah. That's always creepy. But what's really creepy to me, and it's a horrible thing about show business, but he's a world-famous director, and he has to fish in a lane who's probably somebody there with their parents. You know, that's the real thing.

Well, she was doing the fishing. She gave him her number and said, I mean, allegedly, and this is all alleged, but very believable, she said that you've given out a lot of autographs tonight. Here's my autograph. And she gave him her number. That's her story.

Was that at a bar? That was at Elaine's, which is a restaurant bar. Was. It's closed now. Okay, so he could have thought. No, no, no, no, no. No, I don't know. I'm not sticking up for him. I don't even get...

It's Andy Hall. I don't give a fuck. Well, when you call the house, and I don't know who answered the phone, but usually it's the father or the mother. I don't know what happened in this particular case, but back before cell phone era, when you called the house, it was typically a mother or a father that answered.

He had to go, how old are you? What's your daughter wearing? And she looked young enough, I could show you a picture where you would at least inquire if you had any if you were at all you know, uncertain. And again, this is all, you know, not verified, but again, highly believable

that he did this. But yeah, anyway. What do you want to happen to him? Nothing. She just came out with a story. I'm just soliciting your opinions. Obviously nothing's going to happen because it's well past the statute of limitations and there's no

material proof. So he can't host the Oscars. Yeah, well, I mean, it's absolutely wrong. You know, that goes without saying... It's absolutely wrong, you know. That goes without saying. It's creepy and wrong. Yeah, that's your answer.

Well, without saying it's wrong. It goes without saying that it's wrong, but the question now is, if you were 18 and it were legal... It's creepy. Would it still shock your conscience morally? No, it's creepy, but it's not wrong. Well, it could be wrong and still legal.

There's so many 40, 56-year-old guys with 20-year-old girls. I mean, it's creepy, but it's not wrong. Well, it could be wrong and still legal. There's so many 40, 50, 60-year-old guys with 20-year-old girls. I mean, that's... Do you see a substantial difference between 20 and 16? Of course, of course. You know, and there are probably some 20-year-olds that are just as naive and manipulatable

as a 16-year-old might be. But obviously you have to establish some... You can't, the law has to come down somewhere. I mean, do you find it creepy that Mick Jagger is 75 and he's dating a girl in her mid-20s? No, I found that a blessing.

I look at that as a blessing. By the mid-20s, you're in it. By the mid-20s, you're an adult, pretty much, I think. Yeah, but he was in his 50s when she was born. All right, I'll start an argument. I'll start an argument. I got no problem with him dating a 22-year-old, 25-year-old.

What I have a problem with is them being the big, and I love the Stones. I love them. The greatest rock and roll band in the world. And the guy has no fucking sense of rhythm. Who doesn't? Mick Jagger. He's like a clock that's stopped that's right twice a day. By accident, he winds up in rhythm the way he's

jumping around like a chicken. By sense of rhythm, are you talking about physically his dancing or his music? The way he's leaping around. I never noticed. So you have more of a problem with that than you do with him dating girls in their mid-20s. I was exaggerating to make a point.

Well, you don't have to. Bruce Springsteen couldn't dance either. That Dancing in the Dark video is an embarrassment. It stinks. Well, that's why it's in the dark. So no one can see it. But he was in rhythm. The guy's got a sense of rhythm.

And it made What's-Her-Name famous. Courtney Cox. And there was three girls sitting there. And they were all from this agency and they didn't know and they said, Bruce is going to pick one of you three. No, that's not the story I heard. I'm in the business. Okay.

Three of them. He knows the lie he heard. Wait, I'll say what I heard and you say what you heard. They had three of them from the agency and they said, Bruce is going to pick one of you to come up here and he picked her. No, I heard that she was cast to be picked. And I guess they cast the other girls

to be her friends. She was clearly the cutest of the three. I've got to look at the video again. Maybe your story is better. I don't know if it's better, but it's true. And to have Bruce pick amongst three teenage girls, that in and of itself might be deemed to be sketchy.

But no, I heard she was cast specifically. By the way, we have to end soon, but did anybody see Bruce Springsteen on Broadway is on Netflix now? I did not watch that. Keith, are you a Bruce fan, being a black man? In the 80s, that's when I started comedy, and all I was playing was a lot of Bruce Springsteen and the comedy. So, yeah, I like Bruce.

Dan, you want to hear a good Bruce story? We were sitting at my friend's house one day in the spring or summer, and they go, what do you want to do today? And they go, some band's playing behind Kane College, free hot dogs and beer. And we go there, and it's Springsteen. Well, these guys sound pretty good. What year was this? It was probably 73, maybe.

That's before he was anybody. And I go, this sax player is unbelievable, and so are the hot dogs. And it was either national it was maybe 80 people 70 people you know the shops at the base of the park the Christmas shops there at

Columbus Circle I was there the other day and I saw this stupid little knick knack you get stupid gifts for Christmas I said I want to get that and the guy goes oh Jackie from the Stern show I said yeah I want to get that. And the guy goes, oh, Jackie from the Stern Show? I said, yeah. He said, oh, man, I'm a big fan. So nice to meet you.

I'm, oh, nice to meet you. How are you doing? And I felt good that he recognized me. He goes, you know, you're my second celebrity today. He says, Bruce Springsteen was walking around with his hooded thing on and, you know, he stopped there and bought something, you know. And I'm like, fuck! I was going to be this guy's dinner conversation and I got bumped

by Springsteen. The Netflix special is quite... I found that the stories were better than the music because it was all acoustic versions that I didn't really... I didn't love the versions that he was doing on it. But the stories were all very interesting. Do you know a lot of people that went to the show?

I know a few people that went to the show, yeah. It was very expensive. It was like $500 or whatever. Some people went through the roof, and other people, like, I fell asleep. If you're not a huge fan, you know. Southside Donnie, every time he hears Bruce Springsteen's name, loses his fucking mind. I could have been. Does he really?

No, Southside Johnny was the real deal, too. Yeah, they were the real deal, but they just couldn't get out from under Springsteen's fucking shadow. But Springsteen was so prolific a songwriter. I mean, Johnny has that, you know, I Don't Wanna Go Home, that's his big hit or whatever. Yeah, that was a big one.

But Springsteen had just hit after hit after hit. Maybe Johnny has great songs that never, you know. But Springsteen had just hit after hit after hit. Maybe Johnny has great songs that never, you know. When Springsteen first came on the scene, all the, like, the Crosby, Stills, and Nash, and the Eagles, and all those guys, there was a lot of rumblings that, oh, this is all derivative. We heard all this stuff before. Everybody was so jealous. And all of a sudden, everybody's like, shut the fuck up. This guy is great.

And he is great. You know. I mean, I never went to one of those four-hour concerts or anything. But he's still doing it. He's 69 years old. He's still doing it. And they just go on and on and on and on. Jesus.

Keith, you were about to say something? No, because, you know, when I was coming up, I didn't listen to no white music. I was very racial towards white music. Racist, you mean. Yeah. So, you know, but I like. You're saying Bruce turned you around. I like Bruce. I'm like, all right. I'll give you mean. Yeah. You're saying Bruce turned you around. I like Bruce. I'm like, alright, I'll give him a little shot. But you're also

from the same geographic area as Bruce, right? I'm from South Philly. Well, he's from Philly and Jersey are close geographically, but a world away, I think, spiritually. But they're connected at the hip, I think. When I was in school, all the black kids were playing David Bowie fame. They were playing fame

like they loved that one song. One white person got one song in their hood. One song per hood. One song per barbershop. Now, bringing it back to comedy,

are black people racist against white comedians? Because obviously white people love black comedians. But the young, we used to listen to Eddie Murphy when I was in high school. You know, all the kids. No, no.

The black kids listening to, they weren't listening to Woody Allen. George Carlin. They were, they were listening to him. I love Woody Allen. He was one of my

favorites. I loved Woody Allen. As a comedian or as a lover? As a lover. He's too old for Woody. Well, you must have been the only person in South Philly listening to Woody Allen.

Everybody knew Woody was funny, though, man. They'd see him take the money and run it all out. Well, his early slapstick shit probably was more general. That was just, like, amazing. Did any black comedians ever do, like, a Woody Allen impression? That would be funny.

Yeah, for sure. Yeah. That's fun. Woody's popular. You know, I know a lot of black people like, what's his name, Carlin. Everybody loved Carlin. I didn't see it. Why?

Oh, but I didn't get it. You didn't get Carlin? I think black people also like Kennison. Kennison was good. All that anguish, you know. Yeah, you like Kennison, but Carlin was great. Now, who today is doing something, and we'll end in a couple minutes, who today that's new is doing something as crazy as, say, Kennison and Dice, for example.

We're both doing something really just so different and so unique. Doug Stanhope. Is anybody, do you think, doing that? Well, Doug's been around a while. He's a veteran. He's not new. Like in the 30-somethings or the 20-somethings. I don't watch, but aren't they turning in and getting more low-key?

I think edgy. You're talking about edgy. Well, I'm talking about unique. Like, Dice was ridiculously different. And so was Kennison. I don't think Dice was so different. Well, that character was just off the wall. Yeah, nobody can deny that.

Yeah, I don't think it was different. I think it was very different. That character was ridiculous and insanely, I think, different. Yeah, you get guys like, look, I mean, Jezelnik is a character that's kind of edgy, you know. I mean, it's kind of. But it's like more Stephen Wright. Yeah, I guess.

And Stephen Wright was unique, too, but he was unique but low on it. Stephen Wright I guess. And Stephen Wright was unique too, but he was unique, but low on it. Stephen Wright was funny. And many, many people do that style. Yes. But, you know, is there anybody else breaking ground?

You're right. I know what you're saying. Today. And I don't know that there is. No. Yeah, Nanette, or whatever her name is.

Hannah Gadsby. Oh, God. The Australian lesbian? I didn't see it, though. You mentioned Nanette, or whatever her name is. Hannah Gadsby. The Australian lesbian? I didn't see it, though. You mentioned Nanette one more time. I turned off the TV and put hot bamboo up my fucking fingernails. Well, I will say, and Noam would say the same thing if he were here, because I know his opinion on this, we both thought it was interesting.

Neither of us thought it was hysterically funny. It's not good enough. But we both thought it was interesting. Interesting is not good enough. To me, a comedian's job is not to be interesting. No, Chomsky's supposed to be interesting. Well, you know, then maybe

comedian or comedy isn't the right word for what she does, but whatever she does is valid. Anybody that's up there is valid. Maybe it's not stand-up and so I wouldn't put her in the category of revolutionizing stand-up. But what she's doing is... When you have the greats that we already know who's what.

She's not reinventing anything. So we know who's funny. We know already who's got the goods. Already. And we've seen it before and we've who's funny. We know already who's got the goods already. And we've seen it before, and we've seen it better. Yeah, but we don't know who's coming up that got the goods. Because we just didn't answer what he said. You know, a lot of it, 20 years ago or 30 years ago, somebody, I wasn't even in the loop. I'm doing the radio.

But if somebody did Carson, even if it wasn't the career maker it was in the 70s, you knew about it. There could be 30 different comics on the late night shows. You don't hear about it the next day. You don't know how you didn't hear that Charlie Schmidlaff was on. Who knows? Carson, I don't know how many people watched every night,

but there was nothing else to watch. 10 million people, whatever it was. It was laser. You were lasering into it. So 10 million people, whatever it was. It was laser. You were lasering into it. So it was a different thing. You know, I think that a lot of the comics that's coming up think they're inventing something new, but they're not. They think they are. They're all doing me.

Well, better than you because they're making money. And they don't spit. No, but I think that people are trying to reinvent comedy and then people are trying to lower comedy so they can dunk. Everybody wants to be able to do what we do, but they want without the laughter. Without paying to do so. And that's their excuse. You know, I know how out of it I am

because I walk home to my apartment. I go past Caroline's, you know, three times a week and I'll know one name on those doors. You know, one name. You know, and everybody else is like, who the, you know. So I'm just that far out of it.

That's not that they're not big. I just don't know what's going on. You don't live in Long Island anymore? You live in New York? I live in both. Oh. That's how well he's doing. Yes. I made money for two years.

We actually have to stop, but I... You can leave. We're going to keep going. Okay. You're certainly welcome to do so, but I'm going to stop the recording. But thank you, Jackie, once again. When is this going to air? Thursday night, which is tomorrow night. South Florida, Boca

Raton, Meisner Cultural Center, if you can believe that. Saturday night. A lot of old Jews in the audience. All of New York is down in Boca. He tells a joke, and then they tell it back to him, and then he tells, it's Meisner. Oh, yeah. Well, that's an acting class joke that

most of our listeners probably don't get, but those that do are'm going to turn on that Australian comic now. Really going to enjoy. Keith Robinson, good to have you for the whole podcast. You never do the whole podcast. It was good. So maybe, I don't know, maybe we did something right. You know, the real legend is here.

What do you do? Like he does the Bob Hope where he comes in, I got to leave, I got something to do. He usually yells, he comes in, he yells, he tells no one, he says no one, you don't know what you're talking about, and then he leaves. Do you remember what Steve Martin did on Carson? Because Bob Hope used to come on, and he'd put him on right away. And he'd do five minutes with Johnny, and he'd say, all right, Bob, I know you're busy and you have to leave. So he'd get up and leave, right? So Steve Martin came on one time.

He did his five or ten minutes, and Johnny's like, I know you've got to leave. Yeah, goodbye, thanks for coming by. And he left, and like two minutes later, you hear weeping from the curtain. He comes walking. I said, I didn't have anywhere to go. That was the funniest fucking thing. You were so funny, man. I didn't have anywhere.

Nobody wanted me to. Steven, you had some good questions. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for bringing me back. I'm at the Comedy Cell in Vegas, man. What about it? Well, are you there? I'm. I'm at the Comedy Cellar in Vegas, man. What about it? Well, are you there?

I'm there. Oh, the Comedy Cellar Vegas. Yeah, I'm there January. Will you put in a word for me? I want to work there. Oh, yeah. Well, you know. I'm there Christmas, man.

You can talk to Noam directly. He'll be here later or I'll mention it. Would you mention it? Of course. I would love to do it. And this is three on my podcast. Three girls. One Keith.

And one Keith. Three girls and a drawer on Spotify. With Amy Schumer. I hear Amy's being very generous with y'all. I'm not going to give numbers out. Well, it's not Amy. It's Spotify. Ride or die with Spotify.

Well, Amy has a reputation of being very generous with her friends. Unfortunately, I never got it. Oh, wait, wait, wait. Rich has to plug. No, he doesn't have much. I got... So, anyway. I wait, wait. Rich has to plug. No, he doesn't have much. I got, uh... So, anyway... I got Tropicana Atlantic City

coming up. The best roast ever done. VossRoast.com. The best roast you'll ever see. VossRoast.com. It's pretty good. It was pretty good. It's a fucking amazing roast.

Yeah, and I don't have anything, but I'm at Dan Natterman on Twitter. I'm only at 7,400 followers, so you can help me out with that. Thank you. We'll see you next time on the Comedy Station.

Thank you.