The Comedy Cellar: Live from the Table - Janeane Garofalo & Chrissie Mayr

Episode Date: September 20, 2018

Janeane Garofalo is a legendary standup comedian and TV and film actress. Chrissie Mayr is a New York City-based standup comedian. Originally from Long Island, she hosts the show 'Comedy at Stonewall,' a monthly show at the legendary Stonewall Inn.

You're listening to The Comedy Cellar, live from the table, on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com. Good evening, everybody. Welcome to The Comedy Cellar show here on Sirius XM, Channel 99. My name is Noam Dorman. I'm the owner of The Comedy Cellar. We're here at the back table. I'm here with Mr. Dan Natterman, as always, who clearly has a lot to talk about today. We have our guest, Chrissy Mayer. Did I say that right? Yes, you nailed it on the first try.

She's a New York City-based stand-up comedian, originally from Long Island. Your intros are just getting better and better. Originally from Long Island, she hosts the show Comedy Stonewall, a monthly show at the legendary

Stonewall Inn. Stonewall Inn, it's called? Yeah, the Stonewall Inn. That's the Stonewall where the gay rights movement began, right?

No, it's the other Stonewall. The other Stonewall. I never heard of it as the Inn. She does the other Stonewall in Poughkeepsie. I never realized

the name was Stonewall Inn. And Janine Garofalo is a legendary, a snarky, no, a legendary, a legendary, no, a Stonewall Inn. And Janine Garofalo is a legendary snarky... No, a legendary... A legendary stand-up comedian and TV and film actress who really needs no introduction. Actually, I do. My Q rating is very, very

low, but I'm not snarky. Some of the younger people may not remember. I wouldn't assume that they would. Honestly, I would never assume anybody would know who I was. This woman to your right here they would. Honestly, I would never assume anybody would know who I was. This woman to your right here, Kristen. Oh, you scared me. We were talking and she's like...

I didn't see you there. We said, do you want to see Jean Groff? She goes, what did you say, Steven? Do you know who she is? He goes, oh my god, of course I know who she is. I was trying to play it cool. That's very nice of you. But I wouldn't expect anyone to. I mean, there's so many people out there. But thank you. So I wouldn't expect anyone to. I mean, there's so many people out there. But thank you.

So good, Dan. You usually start the show. Well, first of all, if I sound a little lethargic, I am fast. I have been fasting today. It is Yom Kippur as we tape this. And I don't believe in God. Is that how you say it? Yom Kippur? I feel like that's not the correct pronunciation.

Yom Kippur. Yom Kippur. If anyone should say it correctly, it would be you. Yes. I'm not religious. He's Canadian. And in Yes. I'm not religious. He's Canadian. In fact, I'm reading The God Delusion by, what's his name, Richard Dawkins right now.

So I'm not in any way, shape, or form religious, and yet I still feel this intrinsic need to fast on Yom Kippur, and maybe that's a subject for another day. For some reason, it's habit. It's like not walking under a ladder. I'm not superstitious, but I do not walk under ladders for some strange reason. I'm not comparing the two. Well, but I don't think the comparison is completely outrageous. It's Pavlovian.

I think it's more dangerous to walk under a ladder, frankly, than it is to not fast. Also, I do feel that maybe fasting helps me to have more empathy for those who maybe don't have all the food that they need. I don't know. Actually, I don't think it's working, but theoretically it could give me more empathy. What's the foundation of fasting for atoning? The principle is so that you can focus on atoning, but it doesn't work because you're all focused on being hungry. But the rabbis will tell you that it's to focus. My daughter is six years old, and she just kind of realized that she's Jewish and she

realized that on Yom Kippur we're supposed to fast. She's like, Daddy, you're not going to eat, right? You're not going to eat. I'm like, no, no, I'm not going to eat. So I had to leave the house today to go sneak something to eat because I don't know how to tell her that I don't. Well, I think those kind of white lies are okay and the same with Santa. If the child wants to believe in it and go through it and believe that you're doing it, I think it's okay to say, no, I'm not. Because technically you should have said, no, I won't eat anything.

You could have constructed it like, I will not eat here today. I don't know that you'll understand. Mila, it depends on your meaning of the word is, is. Well, no, here. Well, no. Here. Here, here. Is that like when... Oh, that old Clinton chestnut. Bringing it on back for the podcast.

Is that like when the Bradys told Greg, you can't drive our car? I don't know if you remember that episode. I'm not sure he drove the car. He drove somebody else's car. Does your dog bite? It's not my dog. How about Gilligan's Island? I will not dress as a woman.

I will not dress as a woman. I will not dress as a woman. Cut to either Skipper or Gilligan is, of course, dressed as a woman. I don't remember that. I'm sure it happened. So, okay. Do we want to start with Chrissy Mayer? Yes.

Well, I invited Chrissy down today because something happened on Facebook I thought was interesting. And it also sort of dovetails nicely into the, I wouldn't say necessarily the Me Too movement, but it does have to do with women and how they are, their interaction with men. So what happened with Chrissy, well, do you want to, this is regarding those pictures that were requested of you. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I told you that's why I was having you down.

Oh, I forgot, because it was like a couple weeks ago. Yeah, because we were supposed to have you here a couple weeks ago. But then, yeah, got busy. Then Louie broke and we talked about him. Yeah. Anyway, go ahead. So, I mean, not that this is uncommon for women on the internet,

but a guy saw me on another show and he was like, he messaged me. He went into my DMs and he was like, have you ever sold nudes? And I was like, no, I've never sold nudes. And then I just was like, let me see where this goes. And, uh, and I was like, well, yeah, I've never done this before, but you know, I guess I could send you a couple for like a hundred bucks. And then he actually wrote back. He's like, well, I'm a poor grad student. Uh, I can't afford that. I was like, okay, you know what? Just send me whatever you can. And then before I knew it, I looked in my

Venmo, there was $50 there from this guy. And I was like, well, you know what? Just send me whatever you can. And then before I knew it, I looked in my Venmo. There was $50 there from this guy. And I was like, well, I got to send him something. So I just Googled, like, naked man and then, like, picked the nicest photo I saw and then just sent it to him. I was like, well, I'll send you one. I'm like, thanks for the $50. And here's your nude. And he was like, yeah, I can't believe it. You're ripping off a grad student.

How could you? And I'm like, it's a nude. I didn't like, yeah, I can't believe it. You're ripping off a grad student. How could you? And I'm like, it's a nude. I didn't say, like, of me. Now, the last I was following the story on Facebook, he had asked you to refund the money. Yeah. And so that's been a couple of weeks now. Have you refunded the money? No, I've bought groceries.

See, I feel like that's where it's a sticky area. When money is involved, people get angry. Now, had you either taken the 50 and donated it to a charity of his or your choice, or not, just for fun, sent the nude and not take the money? Because once money is taken, I feel like people get angry. Oh, yeah, and they did. And then it's gonna go all of these things

just stay off the internet people jeez you know what I mean it's so much trouble now what would Judge Janine say here Dan I just did say

I said do not take the money my feeling about it was but definitely send the mail nude I think that's funny that's funny you taught him a lesson and you should have sent the money back. What lesson?

Here's the thing, though. The person was, I think, I don't know this person, but I think he found you very attractive, genuinely, and felt that would be nice if I saw nudes of her. I don't know, but I don't know that it was perverse or aggressive. I think there was an exchange. It was a little creepy, yeah. Well, then you should have done nothing.

You should have said, I feel it's a little creepy. Are you authentically, for aesthetic purposes, and thank you for the compliment. And if you do have tasteful nudes, I don't think there's anything wrong with that if you're selling. Or you should have not continued at all. But I think he was saying, I find you attractive. I don't know where to stand on that. But do not take the money. Because that, then...

I guess, like, who pays for nudes? A person that wants nudes of attractive people. But if he's looking at me, he goes, Okay, this is a person who's a comedian. They're trying to become, to become a larger public figure. Are they really going to send me a nude of them for $50? Is that really going to happen? What you do is use the male nude.

I think that's funny. The male nude and $50 back. That's what you do. Or it goes to charity. I offered him, I can give you free tickets to a bunch of shows. And he was like, ah, no. You could do a drawing of yourself, a self-portrait of yourself

nude and send it to him. You know, I think nowadays a lot of women do send nude pictures either for free or for money. So do men. That transcends gender. From what I'm hearing, there's nothing but pictures of people's privates of all genders.

Especially on Twitter. Lots and lots of... And also Snapchat. Didn't that used to be about people very quickly showing those things? No. You have an opinion on this, I assume? I don't... I mean, obviously, from a legal point of view, she ripped them off. And if it was an Amex charge, Amex would give them the money back.

And it would be a charge back. Yeah, I feel the money should either have been donated to a charity or given back because then people get very mad. But also, this is such well-worn territory. When do people, either they like these kind of exchanges or they don't, you know what I mean? And that's why I steer clear of it.

I think Chrissy felt that this was a rude, the very act of asking for these photos was rude and inappropriate. Is that correct? But I feel like then that's what you say in the moment, and send the male nude. I just thought it would be so funny to trick him. That's what I'm saying, but I kind of like it.

That's what I'm saying. That's fine to do the male nude and then don't take the money. That's not really a trick. That is, because until the person, If the person is in your face, that's aggressive and then you're not safe. This person is asking a question if they are a grad student or don't answer.

All of these things. I don't know where people think these things are going to go. I just wanted to have fun with them, I guess. It's not fun to take $50. I'm not mad at you. I'm not mad at you. I'll find a charity.

I'll give him back his money. Okay. Just give it back. Or say to him, pick a charity of your choice. Yeah. Something with animals. That would be my preference. I was going to say Mighty Mutt, something along those lines,

but I don't want to be too much of a rescue. How about something for another $50, I promise. Like a Lucy with a football. Yeah, a nude with me and an endangered species. Would there have been an amount that you might have considered sending the nude? I mean, not with my head in it, right? Well, I have a feeling maybe that's a young person's game. There might be an amount, but I feel like, even then, I've

never, I take body shame to a degree of like with David Cross, a never nude in Arrested Development. I feel like if I could be a never nude, I would shower with a with a top and shorts on. But I think if I had, when I was young,

had had a very nice body, I may have pretended it was empowering to send, I don't know, I can't, I have a feeling I wouldn't have, when I was young, had had a very nice body, I may have pretended it was empowering to send. I don't know. I can't. I have a feeling I wouldn't have. But I think a lot of people pretend empowering just because they look great and they know it. This transcends gender. Again, there's both male and female.

Well, it is amazing to me how many women have been willing to send me nudes with their face in it. But these are women with whom I've had relations. I wouldn't certainly have the temerity to ask somebody I barely knew or didn't know at all for a nude picture. Then that's fine. That is fine. But what's crazy is how many women are willing to send pictures of themselves with their face in it.

Because unfortunately, our culture has raised a generation of males and females who have an unfortunate relationship with eroticism, sexuality, confidence, all of it. I saw a documentary on PBS about Tinder and stuff the other night. And just all of those, the swiping and the pictures, and it tends to be, as they said on the documentary, males showing themselves in manly pursuits, hunting, fishing, sports, at the gym.

Females in ways that are what they think Curry's favorite with the male gaze. Like baking. Whatever, you know, cleavage, all that kind of stuff. It is a cultural problem, and it has to do with self-esteem. And again, Grandma's so thankful that I grew up with none of that. Well, Instagram is also very... No, I assume you're not on Instagram. No, I'm not on Instagram.

But it is a very sexual place. Most places turn sexual. It's the lowest kind. It's the great equalizer. It's just the dumbing down. What do I do first? It's like when people are drunk. What's my first thing?

Instinct is sexuality. It's as if people are drunk all the time it's uncreative it's uh it's it's the path of least resistance and it and it and it wouldn't yeah and just like when people would say sex sells but really it's so hack at this point it's so high sexuality and nudity and and i can't explain it i actually should not participate in this podcast because i've got nothing to add that's interesting. It's all interesting. But I just find that sexuality is the most boring way to go. But you are admitted asexual.

Yes, but even when I was. You're asexual. Asexual. But then again, I'm 54 years old. But when I was young, I still found it corny. Sex. No, people pushing their sexuality. Or when MTV came on when I was young, I still found it corny. Sex. No, people pushing their sexuality. Or when MTV came on when I was in high school.

And the more sexual the video, the more corny I found it. And I'm not pretending that's noble. I'm just saying I always found that rather corny when people put that first. It is corny, especially when you're trying to be seen as somebody with another talent. Like a few years ago, I was in a phase of, like, posting more provocative stuff, but then I was like, oh, do I want to be seen as, like, like, a thought, which is

slang for that hoe over there, like, a basic chick, or do I want people to see me as a comedian? And then I was like, I had to phase out. Yeah, like, I'll look at that thought. Like, T-H-O-T. We're learning. We're learning things. So I was like, you know, you're in control of how you want to be perceived,

and I want people to think of me as a comedian. So, I mean, if I do something with, I'm not going to do anything naked, but it has to be funny. Like, I wouldn't even cross that line unless it's funny. See, here's the thing, though. You're very, it's funny when Will Ferrell takes his shirt off. It's not funny when Ben Stiller takes his shirt off and pretends it's comedy because he's cut and ripped. And no, I'm not criticizing Ben Stiller, but I'm saying that it just seems like, hey, there's a person who goes to the gym every day.

Will Ferrell, it's very funny when he or a British comedian, Nick Helm, takes his shirt off because they don't go to the gym every day. That's why it's funny. Why you were pointing at me. There's females. I happen to have a very pleasing physique. There's a lot of females who pretend they're being funny but they have great bodies. Or a lot of people, I said this earlier, a lot of people

pretend it's empowering. They're just showing off. Now it's funny when a person, a female, who doesn't care at all about physical appearance takes off the shirt, that's fine. Because they're not showing off. Do you think there's no place in stand-up for females to flaunt their sexuality? You keep saying female, but you stop putting gender into this.

If they want to flaunt their sexuality, that's fine. Same with males. Males do it too. They show up. They find reasons to take their shirt off because they're trying to get dates. But it's obviously more common among women. I don't know. I've seen a lot of fellas who are pretending that that T-shirt that fits very snugly is just an absent-minded choice.

You know what? If they want to have sexuality, it's fine. But again, it has to be funny and it has to be a reason for it. It has to be a different perspective. It's such well-worn territory. And again, it just seems like I'm yelling at people. I'm not. But I'm just, I find sex, if you're going to talk about dating and sex

and all that, that's fine. Find a new way in. It's like talking about airplane food. If you don't find some way that is your perspective or that is somehow interesting or isn't just like the ooh factor. You think like you shouldn't get praise just for being born looking a certain way? Like you should get praised for your work.

It's like looking at art. I have no problem praising males and females who are objectively and empirically speaking stunning. Angelina Jolie, Fassbender. It's like looking at a painting to me. It's like fine art. I could look at Michael Fassbender all day.

I could look at Angelina Jolie all day. I am not saying itina Jolie all day. I am, I'm not saying, and then there's some people that are supposedly very attractive, empirically speaking or objective, that I do not find, like I'm more, I actually tend to be attracted to Elias Koteas, male-wise. He, I have a bit of a goog. I have a goog, yeah. Or a female that is not, like Chrissy Hynde, you know what I mean? Like people that are not. Fromissy Hynde. You know what I mean? Like people that are not

from the pretenders. You know what I mean? Like that I find more appealing. But I can look at great beautiful people and go my goodness or Jennifer Lopez. Stunning.

Stunning. Skin seems to be glowing from within. She doesn't drink. No caffeine. I can say that looking like I would look at a painting.

Like that is stunning. She's an alien. I'm a dad, right? And my daughter is rapidly getting older. What do I need to do as she's... as I'm raising her so that left to her own devices, she will choose to not present

herself as a sex object. There's nothing you can do. There's nothing... And children listen to their parents least. They listen to their peers the most. What I would say is set an example and try and curb the TV and the viewing and what they're doing online.

You're presupposing that it's necessarily bad for her to flaunt her sexuality. It is. It's stupid. It's corny. And you know what? I find that very beautiful young girls actually can be railroaded in high school by dating the wrong guy because their beauty is so present and forward that they wind up dating older creeps, which can set you on the wrong track.

I don't know if I'm articulating that correctly. No, I think you're very well. I think you're absolutely right. Is your daughter into, like, what is she into other than just going to school? Candy. No, I mean, honestly, there's nothing you can do. She's six. Like, what is she? Oh, she didn't do sports. No, I mean, honestly, there's nothing you can do. She's six. Like,

what is she? Oh, she's six. Okay. For me, honestly, what kept me off the wrong path is like,

I was a diver. I started springboard diving when I was like 11 and all the way through college and like that kept me, yeah, like that kept me off

the streets. I believe that sports is really helpful and also any extracurricular activities. Also camp, like any kind of camp where I met your sister. Janine and my sister were at camp together many

years ago. It was field hockey or was it gymnastics? Gymnastics. Gymnastics camp. Part of it is activities. Part of it is kind of who your friends are because I was friends with some girls in high school who were definitely already blowing dudes and I was just like, whoa. I was going to say me too. Not that.

High school is too young for that I mean she's really young I mean part of it is your friends part of it is your activities and then I would honestly say like just keep talking to her like keep a good relationship with her be like how are you you know talk to her about her feelings which is something my dad never did and like because he's German and like you know limited

do you understand German the German language he speaks in the German language no he speaks in English he's just like... He's German-American or he's German from Germany? From Germany, but came here when he was really young. I'm using Germany, I'm using him being German as an excuse for him being German. But it can be different, culturally very different. And also, you should say to your daughter when she gets older,

the exact question you just asked, what can I do? That's a good idea. What's it going to take for you? How much do you want? To keep you from doing things that I feel are not in your best interest. But I don't think it's healthy for you to restrict it too much. I mean, girls want to be pretty. They want to be fashionable.

Do they not? Sometimes. Some do. Some don't. Then there's a whole kind of riot girl. My daughter's already pole riding and looking at herself in the mirror. Yes, but so do some boys. And there's a whole other movement of young girls

that are into Riot Grrrl, like Second Wave and Pussy Riot. And I hate, I'm sorry I had to say the P word, but that's what the band is called. And they read Bust Magazine and Bitch Magazine. And there is factions of forward-thinking young girls that go to Guitar Camp and Riot Grrrl Camp. You know what I mean?

Well, you can go to Guitar Camp and still want to be attractive. Yes, you know what I mean? Well, you can go to guitar camp, but still want to be attractive. Yes, you're so misunderstanding where I'm coming from, and I'm getting angry at you now. He does it to me all the time. You know, let's take that off the table. Wanting to be pretty.

That's fine. And some people are pretty. But it doesn't mean you have to do it in a very conventional way. Yes, of course it's easier for attractive people to make it through junior high and high school. Of course it is.

That's the very nature of life itself. And until we change the human condition, that's not going to change. But there are plenty of people who do very well who are not traditionally,

but their personalities are so great or they're funny or they're smart or they excel at sports. That too also happens. You know, we're having a conversation

in a vacuum because there's nothing we can do about life. You know what I mean? So much is out of your control, but praise that has nothing to do with her looks is always the more of that, the better. Genuine praise on whether she's into arts or sports or

literature. Or getting good grades or any of these things. But the thing is peers unfortunately override parents at a certain age and it's unfortunate. But you never know. Kids sometimes just find their way. But I feel like if you ask her questions genuinely, sincerely, out of love, that can go so far because so many kids don't feel very listened to

or loved by their parents, and that can set them looking for approval from their peers, which can be very bad. We're extremely close father and daughter now. Yeah, that's great. Like, extremely close. That's great. But these things can sometimes go awry, you know. But the thing is, if the base is there, it'll always come back.

Because a lot of kids who are extremely close with their parents, there's a bad period, but it comes back because you can never forget that base of unconditional love that's there. And I feel... I agree with that very much. Because it's true. You've seen my so-called life. It becomes programmed in our brains. We don't even realize it's there.

It is. It's, again, Pavlovian. Because the same thing. My parents loved the S out of us. And then we were the most ungrateful pricks for a period of time. And then all of us came back around. Do you know what I mean? Never forgetting. Yeah. And the guilt. Do you know what I mean? Never forgetting.

Yeah. And the guilt, do you know what I mean, of how we were in the middle there. And then my siblings have gone on to be fantastic parents themselves. I've never wanted to have children, but they did, and they are as loving as my parents were. And I think you can never undo that base that's there. I agree with you a thousand percent.

My parents put braces on me when I was in college, and now I agree with you a thousand percent my parents put braces on me when I was in college and I had braces in college and that whoa that's the most expensive birth control there is but it were they they were like the ceramic kind but it was like guys do not care it looks cute bracing cute well I'm sure you could have gotten laid in college though That's very late, though. You didn't have them in high school? No, I like... When I got to college, I was like, I want to be a reporter. And my parents were like, you have kind of

an overbite. And then I got braces in college. But I also had a really short, short, short haircut. So maybe I'll attribute it to that. But actually, I used to think braces... I never had braces. My siblings all did. I wanted them so badly. Really? And my bottom teeth now are so crooked. Did you have any sexual contact in college?

Like, very, very little. Okay, I... I barely did either. I did not. I hardly did. My first kiss was at 24 in law school. Ooh. Who was that?

Well, my first kiss was a senior, but I didn't have sex until I was out of college. I mean, I didn't have my first boyfriend. I met them when I was a senior in college. But I would say it was so nothing happened in college for me. And actually, I can't say really that it was an issue. No, but nothing happened for me, and it was a terrible issue. I was just furious for four years straight. Why?

Because I had no social life, and I had no contact with the opposite sex. I was years straight. Why? Because I wasn't, I had no social life and I had no contact with the opposite sex. I was very shy and I... Really? Not even just in class or just in the dorms or somewhere? Very, very little. Very, very little. But that you weren't ready. I did masturbate once in the student lounge. Well, that's fine. I'm sure you weren't the only one.

But the thing is... I think I was. I feel like she's sticky. When people are ready, they're ready. You know what I mean? Some people are late bloomers. I was a late bloomer in terms of the activity, but I was ready. I wanted it.

I just didn't get it. What are you saying? So you couldn't just be friends with or converse easily with females? Well, I could be friends with, but to take it beyond that was very difficult. Still today. You're a gentleman. I'm sure it's because of your own insecurity. People sense insecurity. People do respond to confidence

and people that are comfortable. Well, even today, I really have to rely on women coming up to me after a show saying that I was funny. At 48 years old, it's still difficult for me. Well, then it is what it is. But I'm getting better. I mean, maybe by 60, I'll finally have the thing. How's your wink?

Are you good at winking? Do people do that? They do, but I don't know if it will work in your case. I think that had... How young will you go at this age?

48? How young will I... You're very young. You don't look 48. Well, I do appreciate it. I would have thought you were like 30. I thank you so much.

What's your skin care regime? But you know that that's not true because you know my sister. No, I know, but I really, for some reason, looking at you, forgot the age you were. You must moisturize. Well, they say God only gives us what we can handle. So he gave you great skin.

I couldn't handle bad skin. Right. Well, good. See, because you had enough on your plate with not being able to talk to the ladies. I had enough on my plate, and I have enough on my plate with all my neuroses. So God said, well, we'll let him have his hair. But see, if you weren't exactly like this, you wouldn't be be you and you wouldn't be the stand-up that you are. You have to have all of these things in play. Have you seen my stand-up

ever? Not recently. No. Have you seen it ever? Yes, I have. Are you saying it's not like that? No, you said I wouldn't be the stand-up that I am, but you don't know. All of the things that we are is what we bring to the table as a stand-up.

What I'm saying is I might be a bad stand-up. Your perspective can only come from where it comes from by being the guy. If we could just quickly, on a related note, last time we had spoken to you, Janine, here on the podcast, we were encouraging you to come perform here at the Comedy Cellar. Yes. And you haven't been here since then.

I haven't even been in town, mostly, since we last talked. But also, I had... You do a thing where you call in your availabilities on Sunday. Is that the thing? Yeah. But I mostly haven't been here a lot. And for the most... I wasn't here all summer. But as I told you before, and you

well remember why I told you, I have an emotional reaction to bombing here so badly in the 90s that it honestly feels like, even when I walked in here, I have a feeling. It's a visceral feeling. I knew you were going to bring that up again to make us uncomfortable.

You don't remember that I said that to you last time. You could do my show, Jeanine. At the Stonewall Inn? I would love to. I love the Stonewall Inn. And yes, we did communicate. I love the Stonewall. I also remember you saying that you would... Yes, we did communicate. We went back and forth. I don't.

I'm sorry if that was a... I can't say it again. I said it last time. It's good to... I wouldn't call it a fear, but it's good to have a bad experience. There's something healthy about facing it. Can I do a set right after we finish here? Is there a show going on? Absolutely, you can.

Yes, so exciting. We're done here at 8. If I go on, because then I have another show that I have to go to. Yay! I will go right downstairs

and you will see how poorly it probably will go as I read it out to my desk. Well, I just enjoy you so much. The last time I saw you at the stand, maybe I...

If there is a spot available downstairs after this... Maybe I'm being selfish because I'd like to see you here. I will be happy to walk down those stairs and do a set, and you can see how we do. Liz. But I don't want to displace anybody.

You're not going to displace anybody. Can we fit Janine in for five minutes after the podcast to do a set downstairs? Five, seven minutes? And I'll prove to them that I won't do well. No, of course you'll do well. I think you'll be great. But I don't even regard not doing well, as painful as it is for that I won't do well. Now, of course you'll do well. I think you'll be great. But I don't even regard

not doing well, as painful as it is for every comic to not do well. That's not how I judge a comic. Well, okay, we'll see. We'll do it. We'll go downstairs.

Are you sure I'm not displacing anybody? You're not displacing anybody. Noam obviously wants to get laughed. He's running a business. You mean that's not how you judge a comic? No, I would like to as well.

As much as scoring points is part of basketball, that's not how you judge a comic. No, I would like to as well. As much as scoring points is part of basketball, that's not how I judge a basketball player. You have to do well to be a... Yes, you do, but not everybody's going to do well in front of every audience on any given night. No, and it's hit or miss any time, anywhere. It's just this is genuinely an emotional... And I can...

There was a time, and I didn't bring this up last time, and I'm not going to name who the comics were I overheard them mocking me in the 90s in the 90s back on the stairwell and it hurt my feelings so bad

because these were comics that I actually like and like their stand up and I thought we were friendly that's shitty and it happens and I was tanking

and they were mocking how how not funny I was and I've never and again and mocking how not funny I was and I've never, and again and I'm not holding it against them because I actually tend to agree with them sometimes and I still like them and like their stand up, but that memory

was so painful and that was the last time I did stand up here. And so either I will or won't throw off that feeling. But, and like I said, when it comes from people maybe you don't know or don't think that they're funny, it's one thing. When it's people that you hang out with and you think they're good. And I don't even think they were meant to be vitriolic.

Sometimes I think people can't help themselves. It's kind of the currency of the thing. At that time, you were a star, right? I mean, you were on top of the world. I don't know if I was a star, but I would say at that time I was getting a lot of work. So, I mean, jealousy might have factored in. I don't know. I don't think so.

I think the evidence was bombing. And I think that they know they're good comics. And I don't know if it's jealousy, because nobody is more self-loathing me. I mean, it's not like I was a person who put on airs of, you know, at that time when I was doing well. I don't think I behaved, except for I probably was ill-mannered when I was drunk. But that would have been the case with or without work. I do apologize if I was ill-mannered drunk here. I used to be drunk a lot and mean.

Not mean, ill-mannered. That's what I was told. I don't remember it, but that's what I was told. You blacked out drunk? Oh, I was a black... Oh, yes. I've never blacked out. Once you do, you start to do it a lot.

But I... At first, I wasn't. But then, as the years went on, I became a blackout drunk. you start to do it a lot. But I, at first I wasn't. But then, as the years went on, I, I would be a black, I became a blackout drunk. So, this is,

this is, it is somewhere we can tie it into what's going on. It seems like as good a segue as any. What do you think, how do you, how do you minimize somebody's moral guilt

when they've done something, when they're falling down drunk? Like, like what's accused of 17 year old Kavanaugh? I actually, from as a person who was a

drunk and a person who was told that they were a real pill, I try and be as sensitive as I can to those that I, especially when I can tell that they can sense tomorrow's shame. Does that make sense? Like when somebody you're interacting with is very, very drunk and they're

really being annoying, but you can tell there's a hint that they know they're going to regret tomorrow. I try so hard to ease that pain as a person. Unless they're doing something that is so out of bounds and ridiculous, then I don't know that I want to ease their pain.

If they're being a person who is being mean to someone else or being so far out of bounds, I don't know that I want to ease their pain. If they are being a person who is being mean to someone else or being so far out of bounds, I don't really need to cushion their tomorrow's fall. A situation like Mel Gibson, which is, that's already 10 years ago. Jesus, I don't need to make Mel Gibson feel better. I've got no sympathy for Mel Gibson nor his father's evangelical nonsense. But I do feel badly. And Holocaust denying.

The Holocaust denying. Yeah, I don't need to ease the pain of a Holocaust denier. But I do feel badly when I see someone in another context where that's thrown at them. Now, he was being interviewed one time for a Jodie Foster film. And all the questions... Do you apologize? Okay, if you want to have that conversation with him,

there's no need to lure him onto the TV show. I agree with you. Pretending to talk about something else. It's just cowardly. You want to take it up with Mel Gibson, you take it up with him as a human, not with the cameras on, so that you don't have to worry that you're not going to get him coming back at you.

Does that make sense? You know what I mean? Or warn him. That's what you want to talk about on the camera. Yes, say it. Don't lie. Say it. Say, I'm going to discuss this with you. And then he's either going to come on camera or not. But that's stupid to me. That's just, again, low-hanging fruit.

There's no nobility in it. So here's the question which the whole country is facing now, which is that if you're a 17-year-old falling down drunk kid and you pull down a girl and paw her in a room, you're in an all-boys school and you get access to a woman. Chrissy, we're talking about the Kavanaugh.

Have you been up on it? Oh, the Kavanaugh. There's so many other things about Kavanaugh that we should also be discussing. One at a time, one at a time. If this takes him down, I'm happy for it. I don't give a things about Kavanaugh that we should also be discussing. One at a time. If this takes him down, I'm happy for it. I don't give a shit about Kavanaugh.

I want him gone. Of course you do, but that's how unfair things happen. What I'm saying is that do you think that if it was your son who was 17 years old who did the same thing, would you feel that, yes, this should, doesn't matter what he does for the next 36 years, this should be a permanent stain?

No, of course not. But the thing is, everything he's done in the last 36 years is as bad and worse than that. This is a liar, a cultural criminal, and a right-wing nut who is only there to do Donald Trump's bidding. So this is an issue that takes us off the track of also why we should be against Kavanaugh's nomination. So if you were honest...

If he was a great guy after the age of 17, absolutely. I think that one should not be held for the rest of their life accountable. So what is the principle other than the fact that you don't like him and I might agree with you, that allows us to bring this fact in now.

The principle is that when a person is 17 and if they are appropriately punished for what they've done when they're 17, for however long that takes, then when that person is 47, and if they've been a decent human being, there's no

reason to bring that up if they've paid the price when they were younger. Well, but you can't punish him for not being punished. It's not his fault he was never punished, but he hasn't done anything to my knowledge of this sort that we've heard yet. That all we know, but that, you know what, this is,

but I think it's fine to bring this up in these hearings for the moral character of this particular person. For the job that they are going to take and the power they will wield and the impact it will have on your life. Yes, it is appropriate to bring it up. So even if he were liberal and had been a great guy. You know what? You are absolutely, purposely confusing this issue. No, I'm not.

It is so not important about liberal. I'm really not. Yes, you are. You know what? Okay. You are trying to make it seem like there's moral ambiguity with Kavanaugh and the way he's behaved for his entire life. There is no moral ambiguity there. What he did when he was 17, if it was taken up at the time and he was punished, if there was atonement,

and then he went on to be a person of impeccable moral character. I would not say it is fair to bring it up in the hearing. This is a person of non-impeccable moral character. And if they were a liberal who had been sexually harassing someone at 17 and went on to be a terrible person, well, then they wouldn't be a liberal. Let's just strike the word liberal because you would sort about the things that he had been standing for. That's the only reason I said the word liberal. Let's just say a conservative or anybody of an impeccable moral character. Well, they wouldn't be a conservative if they were of impeccable moral character.

Well, that's what I thought you thought. That's why I said liberal. Because today's conservatives are not of impeccable moral character. If you want to go back 30 years to what allegedly conservative meant, that's a different thing. I think you're getting me either way. I said liberal because I felt that was your opinion. I knew that he had to be liberal for you to believe they had impeccable character. So I said liberal because it doesn't matter that they're liberal.

There's people that claim to be liberal. There's people that claim to be liberal that are not of impeccable moral character. But I'm saying liberal. Anyway, why are we talking about this? Only because it's the number one issue of the world today. Yeah, but there's so many. But the thing about Kavanaugh and the issues that Kavanaugh and so many like him in the Trump administration and that are supporting him, this issue should be in play for him.

It shouldn't be in play for a person who has atoned for it and then been a good person afterward. So you're asking me, when is the line on a person that doesn't deserve to have, when is the line? Well, okay. I kind of, I don't know how I feel about it, but I know that when it comes to issues of women, he seems to have been a good dude the last 36 years. How would we know that? You know what? I bet he's not because I'm sure he wants to overturn Roe v. Wade. And I'm sure he doesn't support. I'm talking about his behavior.

I'm talking about behavior. Voting is behavior. Voting is behavior. People do have a right to oppose Roe v. Wade. Religious people or whatever. I mean, I don't oppose it. Guess what, though? It's legal.

Roe v. Wade is legal. And the thing that a lot of people who oppose Roe v. Wade are fine with the death penalty, are fine with guns, are fine with war, are fine with not paying taxes that go to social services. It is such a red herring. This alleged pro-life, pro-war, pro-death penalty, pro-torture,

pro-Abu Ghraib, pro-Guantanamo. And so many evangelicals vote for Donald Trump. There's nothing moral about that. Like a religious Catholic would be against abortion but against a death penalty. Yeah, if they walk the walk like the Amish, I'm fine with it because they are towing the line in a solid belief. So if Kavanaugh were a religious Catholic... He is not a religious Catholic.

You stop pretending Kavanaugh is a decent human being. I'm not trying to... You're bringing a false opposition. I don't know anything about Kavanaugh. a religious Catholic. He is not a religious Catholic. You stop pretending Kavanaugh is a decent human being. You're bringing a false opposition. I don't know anything about Kavanaugh. Well, then you should. If you're bringing it up for your podcast and saying it's the most important issue, then why don't you do your homework about Kavanaugh? No, now you're purposely misconstruing me. No, I'm not.

I'll tell you why. Because normally when you discuss moral issues, you discuss them in an objective way, not attached to a particular person that exists. How can you separate it? In the case of people, the way they vote, the way they perjured themselves, they have had a history of political subterfuge,

and they are there for the purpose of supporting Donald Trump and for stopping the... They are there to obstruct justice. This person who is allegedly there for justice is being placed there to obstruct justice this person who is allegedly there for justice is being placed there to obstruct justice how can you separate the moral question from this person because I think that for instance

if you are punished for a crime like this at 17 usually make a deal and they say okay well you're going to do this probation whatever it is and then after a certain amount of time the records will be sealed and those records are sealed, and they don't get to unseal them because of your politics or because you were

against Roe v. Wade. We say as a society, we feel that if you don't ever do this again, we seal your records forever. And if they are sealed, but some people unseal them. But the thing is, do you realize that the job he is being nominated for, do you not think that this...

Well, I said to somebody today, I said, you know, I would not... I could see myself being proud of my country if someone had murdered somebody as a minor and then grew up to be an adult on the Supreme Court. I could see being proud. Like, what a great country... If that person earned to an adult on the Supreme Court. I could see being proud. Like, what a great country. If that person earned to then sit on the Supreme Court. But, Janine, because I think the general principle that Noam is trying to express, using Kavanaugh as an example, but it comes up again and again and again. This notion of how do we judge people outside of a courtroom for actions that happened a long time ago.

That's a different question. We are talking about a person inside the courtroom. So if we're not, then let's not talk about Kavanaugh then. I'm saying that, for example, in the case of Kavanaugh, there's no trial. So in order, we have to somehow figure out, did he do these things? I think he did. Well, first of all, factually, yes, he did.

Second of all, you can look at his voting record and his behavior. Those are all factual. And fourth or fifth of all, we may not even have a say as a country, because they're going to rush that vote through. And I think that's also why a lot of people at the civic level, a lot of civil rights issues are coming to the fore

because we have no power over what's going on with the Trump administration. So at the grassroots level, you've got to fight for your rights much harder. And so Kavanaugh will probably be rushed through like all these other ridiculous nominees. And also, Trump has unbelievably evaded impeachment so far and and the law continually how many nights can you turn on the news and hear other charges and more charges and more charges and it's and it's the most frustrating thing and of course if if it were a democrat they would have been hauled into jail even before they took off they would have

had hillary cl Hillary Clinton in handcuffs because that's what Republicans, it's a blood sport. Yet they still, with the help of the Congress and the Senate, they have evaded and obstructed justice and allowed Donald Trump to remain illegally president. He didn't win. I don't want to do this podcast anymore.

This is the worst. This is so not fun. Can we talk about nudes again? Anything? This is like such a drag. Okay, let's talk about something else then. No, you can talk about whatever you want, but it's like it's just I get so hepped up about it and I'm sure your listeners are like

I don't want to hear her talking and talking. I think this is great what you're saying. It is or it isn't, but the thing is it's one of those things that it's probably for your listeners, they're like, I can't take this anymore. Because honestly, I get so angry about this stuff. I get so hepped up about politics and culture and the Trump administration continually obstructing justice and getting away with it. Where, you know, you can watch the first 48 hours.

Those guys get it done in 48 hours and there's people going to jail for sometimes lesser crimes or sometimes just homicide, attempted homicide. The judicial system puts away the poor and the disenfranchised constantly. And political and white collar criminals continually, continually, continually get away with it. And we have to sit there and take it. And we probably have to take Kavanaugh getting rushed through. And it's with no, it's not a democracy. It's just not. And I think why I get angry is I feel like sometimes people make light of these conversations

like it's this thing we can banter about that doesn't impact our lives and your children's lives a great deal. You know, denying climate change being just one issue. And that's why when I think about, how old is your daughter again? Six. Think about it. Think about this. Think about the implications of denying climate change for the rest of her life. The air we breathe and it's just catastrophe after catastrophe with the weather and no money for FEMA. You know what I mean?

Cutting social services. And all of this she inherits. Yep. All of the deficit she inherits. Every parent automatically thinks about the world that their kids are going to have. If Kavanaugh overturns Roe v. Wade and undercuts women's rights and doesn't believe in equal pay, this impacts her a great deal. So that's why I feel like it's not this ha-ha-ha thing to discuss on a podcast. Well, I don't think we're ha-ha-ha-ing it, but we're trying to use the cabinet to distill some general

principles that we keep, especially here at the Comedy Cellar, coming up against again and again and again, and Louis C.K. is an example. Which I support Louis C.K., and I'll say he's my friend, he's been my friend since the late 80s, and I think it's fine that he performed here, and I do not agree with the person who called afterwards and complained about it. My boyfriend told me that somebody said, I was offended, I wasn't warned fine that he performed here. And I do not agree with the person who called afterwards and complained about it.

My boyfriend told me that somebody said, I was offended, I wasn't warned. That is such nonsense. And first of all, as we were discussing earlier, nobody discusses more on stage what they've done. Any of the things he's done over the years, he has talked about on stage. And I think he's been kicked appropriately.

You know what I mean? And also, Aziz Ansari, are you kidding me? And Chris Hardwick. I think that these things can be like a Twilight Zone episode. Once you can accuse somebody of something and not be questioned, any one of us

can be accused of anything. But this is the principle that we're trying to sort of discuss. It's not the same. Louis C.K. doing stand-up here has no relation. What he does does not impact your life and politics. Kavanaugh makes decisions

that directly impact your life. This is a very different situation. Do you see what I'm saying? I understand. But he is accused. And that's why they shouldn't be put... But I understand. He doesn't make laws, Louis C.K. doesn't sit in a seat of power, he does not sit in Washington and make decisions I certainly get that, but we still have

to try to ascertain guilt or innocence without benefit of no we don't we do need to have benefit of... What I'm saying is it's not okay to accuse somebody of something without looking into it.

That's not fine. But with Kavanaugh, the same issue applies. It has been looked into. Are you not aware of Kavanaugh? Are you not aware of people doing... I'm talking very specifically about the issue with the accusation. Sexual assault. Sexual assault.

Yes, and it's been investigated. She spoke to a therapist about it in like 2012. Two people she named, just before I got on the show, the second guy that she named as having been there says he wasn't at the party. But also, why are you not investigating other things that Kavanaugh does? Why is this? And you know what? If it takes him down like tax evasion took down Capone, I'm fine with it because this is a bad guy.

Yeah. But also, Louis C.K. should not be mentioned in the same sentence with him. And I feel like he's atoned. Let's stop kicking him around. You know what? There are people that do far greater things that impact our lives in government, in power, at the civic and the macro level. These are things we should be discussing. To be clear, I think Kavanaugh did do it,

even if the people, whatever it is, I don't believe that a woman would remember that wrong. I could possibly... But you might have... You know what? I think it's okay to question the source. I think it's gender neutral because I don't believe in a society

where we can accuse anyone of anything and nobody investigates anything. I agree with that. And if they are going to investigate it, I think they need to subpoena all these dudes and they got to investigate it. And I don't mean a harsh questioning. I don't believe in what were you wearing, you deserve it. Not at all. No, but they got to get to the bottom of it like they're serious. They're an honest and sympathetic questioning.

And this goes for all genders and all sexualities. Is it 8 o'clock yet? But it's 5 minutes. But I am struggling with the notion of holding a 17-year-old. Yes, I agree with that. I'm struggling with that. I agree with that because kids do things, and it's terrible when kids' lives are,

car accidents, drunk driving, and their life is ruined forever. I am 100% with you, because they're children, 17-year-olds. If they have a repeated pattern after hopefully atoning for what they've done, being punished for... I wouldn't include their politics in that as you would. A Supreme Court justice should be held to a higher standard.

I'm talking about Kavanaugh, not talking about everybody in the world. Yes, Supreme Court Court justice should be held to a higher standard. I'm talking about Kavanaugh, not talking about everybody in the world. Yes, Supreme Court justices should be held to a higher standard. Now, if that person, after the age of 17, has done nothing wrong, that's fine. That's fine. But that's not the case with Kavanaugh. See, I feel

like we're muddying the waters here. You're talking about a person who is not a good person and you're bringing in, oh, anybody. What if they're a person who is not a good person and you're bringing in, oh, anybody. What if they're a good person? Well, this person isn't. Can I tell you, you made a face. Let me tell you why I don't think the Supreme Court should be held to a higher standard. Because I think that it... Well, clearly the

presidency isn't. No, no. It should be it isn't. And the Supreme Court should be an isn't too because it's packed all the time. I'm going to tell you why and maybe I'm wrong here. Is that I think that there is a question of whether or not what somebody does at 17 is or is not

an indication of who they are 35 years later. And if it is, then it is for everybody. Someone who stole a car. And if it's not, then it's not. Holding somebody down and putting your hand over their mouth so they can't scream and sexually assaulting them, that's a big thing. Yes, it is.

It's a big thing. And just because you did it at 17, I mean. So then it's not just for Supreme Court then, I'm saying. If it's legit. He's not going to trial on this. He's just going to either be on the Supreme Court or not. And he should be held to a certain standard. A rapist shouldn't be on the Supreme Court.

I agree with you. It still tells us who he is today. Absolutely. Something that extreme. Not because I'm in the Supreme Court. If he stole a car, that's something else. What about... If he raped or attempted to rape...

We haven't heard from Chrissy in a while. I don't want to... I definitely see all your points of view on it. Because I'm probably the dumbest person on this panel. But I think what it sounds like he did was a series of decisions. Like if you're putting your hand over somebody's mouth and raping them. It's not just like, oh, you're drunk, you're in high school or college. No, he didn't rape her.

Oh. He was too drunk to rape her. I think that in Kavanaugh's case, he's a bad apple. You know what I mean? But I think there are some people that commit crimes, go to prison,

try to turn their lives around. But then again, you're talking about this one person on the Supreme Court, and Supreme Court people should absolutely be held to a higher standard. They're there for life.

Then why didn't we impeach Clinton when he lied under oath? Oh, you stop with that. Stop bringing up stuff that has nothing to do with it. And first of all, he was trying to impeach him. They did try. Right, but why was that? And you know what? I don't care about that.

I'm just trying to look for a consistent theory. You know what? Why didn't we impeach George Bush for the illegal war? And first of all, he wasn't elected. Antonin Scalia illegally installed him. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia broke the law and illegally installed George W. Bush, stopping the recount in Florida.

Okay, so that's everything. So what Bill Clinton did, do you care that somebody was fellated in office? I don't give a shit. No, that wasn't the issue. He was lying about cheating on his wife. No, he was not lying. He was lying.

What the definition of is is under oath. No, let's just be correct. Listen, I supported Clinton. I didn't want him impeached. But to be clear, he was lying to avoid the case against Paula. Paula Jones was suing her for sexual harassment, which he most probably did. And he was lying under oath about that

in order so that he wouldn't lose that case. Yes, and you know what? That stuff was brought to you by Kenneth Starr and the Republicans, $30 million of your tax money. No, she sued him. I know, and the National Enquirer and all the oppositional research got her. He tried to be a decent president.

And also, I don't care about that. I don't care if George Bush had an affair. What I do care about is invading Iraq illegally. What I do care about is what went on in Kosovo during Clinton's and Operation Desert Storm under Clinton. I care about that. I don't care about filleting in office. But with Bill Clinton, we also have the case of Juanita Broderick, which is very, very credible and much more recent than Kavanaugh. And yet I'm sure the next presidential convention, Bill Clinton's going to be sitting there at the Democratic Convention.

You know what? Bill Clinton has done far more to try and help you out than that. I agree with that. And you know what? And don't just stop muddying the waters here with all this kind of stuff. I'm not muddying the waters. I'm trying to understand. Bill Clinton is not the same guy as Donald Trump.

Stop saying you need a standard. I'll give you a standard. I need a standard other than having to call Janine Garofalo and find out what it's okay or not. You don't need to listen to me. What I'm saying is, I think you're pretending you need a standard. You're comparing Bill Clinton is, is with K you need a standard. You're comparing Bill Clinton is, is, with Kavanaugh

and Trump. I'm comparing Bill Clinton and Juanita Broderick. You can't compare anything to the Trump administration. To Kavanaugh. But Kavanaugh, I don't think Trump ever met Kavanaugh. He shouldn't be allowed to appoint anybody. No, Trump is appointing Kavanaugh because there's an agreement that Kavanaugh will stop the Mueller investigation and be a yes man for him. But to be clear, I think Kavanaugh did it

and I think he's toast. I don't. I do not. I don't think he's toast, and I think he very well may be voted in by a corrupt Republican Congress. I would prefer they would get him for perjury or some other thing that he did. Yes, and he already should have been because he's already perjured himself, and he hasn't, and we've been wasting time talking about this nonsense like it's nothing.

The thing is he has perjured himself, and he probably will be voted in. You know what I mean? And so this other stuff is, and he will sit in a seat of power and affect your life. Yeah, or my daughter's life. Or your daughter's life. So to bring in is, is, and Clinton,

that's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. This is unnecessary now. That's in the past. And he was attempted to be impeached, and there wasn't the votes. And he's been a public joke ever since. I just want to stand by, in my own defense, the principle that someone making, you know, forming opinions in the world does look to other examples of similar things and see how they were treated in other contexts.

Except they're not really similar. In order to determine a consistent opinion that won't make you a hypocrite the next time some guy who you do agree with does the same thing. Well, here's the thing. Here's the thing. It doesn't make you a hypocrite. It doesn't make you a hypocrite. You can't apply

a standard blanket thing for a 17-year-old who drives drunk and a 17-year-old that rapes somebody. And also, a 17-year-old that then goes to prison

or atones or does whatever. That's what I said about sealing records because rape, we don't seal the records. We do not seal the records of a 17-year-old that rapes, which is kind of our way of saying certain things are so heinous

that we do believe it stays to be forever. But I bet you there are 17-year-olds who are connected who have had their records sealed. Everything can be, you know, there are haves and have-nots in this world and people who are connected and they get things sealed and we'll never know about it.

That's true. Okay. All right. Dan, you shouldn't sealed, and we'll never know about it. That's true. Okay. All right. Dan, you shouldn't get so angry. I can't help it. This stuff is important. How can I not get angry? That's why it's important.

This is our lives. What's going on with Trump is this is our lives. And what went on with George Bush. Okay. What went on in Iraq has everything, the refugee crisis, these ripple effects. It goes on and on and on and on. Do you agree with the following? It's not good to only speak to people you agree with.

I don't know. You don't know. Well, if they're right, it's fine. You keep pretending that there's parsing. You can have better confidence in your opinion about things if you speak to smart people who disagree with you than if you only speak to people who agree with you. No, I can have confidence in my opinion by doing my homework

and doing my research and trying to learn about the world around me. Okay, well... Not by just listening. I know when I come up with an opinion, I usually email out to all my liberal friends who I know will disagree with me, and I test it against them. No, why don't you do some research on the opinion

instead of throwing out to all my liberal friends. What does that mean? Justice is justice. Truth is truth. Look it up for yourself. What I'm saying is that I don't send it out to the people I know or are inclined to agree with me. I'm not interested. I know they're going to agree with me.

I send it out. I have a lot of really smart friends who I know where they are on things. So I'll say, listen, this is what I was thinking about. And I'll send it to them. And sometimes it's like sharpening a knife. And sometimes they will come back like, oh, you know what? I didn't think of that. We're not all infallible.

There's logical mistakes we can make. No kidding. But I'm not talking about opinions. I'm talking about facts. Okay. So there are things. So if we're talking about Kavanaugh, or are you talking about just like, here's how I feel about this thing today?

I am saying that I don't think that this issue is so simple that even someone who wants to discuss it from different angles is just, what are you, a jackass? It's clear. Everybody knows. He's done. But you're combining like 15 issues into an issue. Are we talking about Kavanaugh or are we talking about 17-year-olds? We were using Kavanaugh as a springboard to talk about general principles. And by the way, you and I agreed.

I said I'm comfortable with the 17-year-old thing. You agreed with me. There's some very important general principles that can be discussed using Kavanaugh as a springboard. And I think that's what we were trying to do. I think actually it's not a good springboard because Kavanaugh, along with the Trump administration, is among the worst of us. It would actually be a more interesting springboard where there's a person who isn't the worst of us. Who isn't entirely the worst.

I kind of like Joe Biden to be president next time, let's say. And if Joe Biden were running for office and now it came out that he has a kind of similar story

when he was 17. Oh, it would have been chemical. I would say... Don't think for a second Republicans wouldn't have ripped him to pieces. Of course they would have.

Of course they would have. And anything that you can know would have been out by now. Everybody will flip sides. Politicians are scum. But I'm saying, I would say, I would say,

I don't think, you know what, it's Joe Biden. Whatever he did at 17 doesn't matter to me as a voter. That's what I would say. Right, because he's tried to do good things after that.

But I would have a lot more trouble saying that and feeling like I wasn't a hypocrite if I was saying, it really, no, with Kavanaugh, I think it says everything about him. all of a sudden i think it's fine this will be the last thing listen to me it's not hypocritical if that 17 year old is not going on

to do joe biden has not spent his life being an after the age of 17. he has not he's trying to be a public service i don't agree with that but it's not like he's he's he's a public service and he has kids who have actually served. He's one of the only politicians who supports wars and his own children then go serve. You want to see a total meltdown? I just found that out today. You know who else has a daughter? A daughter who is serving in the armed forces going to Iraq?

Steve Bannon. Wow. Let's not say anything nice about Steve Bannon. I know that's nice about him. It's nice about his daughter. But I mean, I had no idea. He has had no contact with his daughter since they were little children. Is that true? He actually was a horrible father

and after the divorce... I didn't know that. What a fucking liar he is. Because the way he spoke about it... She may well be in Iraq. I don't know that. He's like, I know about raising empowered daughters. He actually said,

I know about raising empowered daughters. My daughter is maybe on a plane to Afghanistan. No, he was an absentee dad after a very bitter divorce. Oh, okay. But the thing is,

if you're going to support these wars, I think if your kids go, I think that means something. Absolutely. Although Sarah Palin, whose son was in Iraq, she thought Saddam Hussein

was behind it. You think the least you could do is figure out who was responsible for 9-11, if your own children are serving. But she got that wrong. So that's how interested she was. But anyway... Want to end on a note of agreement?

Because I agree with you 1,000% about that. We don't have to end on a note of agreement, but it's fine if you do. But I disagree with you with the blanket statement for the 17-year-olds. I think when people make decisions that affect your life, it is a different standard. But I do agree that 17-year-olds are children, and they shouldn't be punished for the rest of their life for what they do, unless they are assholes for the rest of their life.

What about just the... No, no, you don't... No, Janine, you can go. I just have another thing to... I mean, you don't have to stay for the whole thing, if you don't wish to. What is she going on? Do I have to now? No, no, if you don't want to, it's, we're trying to... Whatever you want, Jenny.

We're just thrilled to have you here. The listeners are going to love, the listeners love a good Donnybrook. Yeah, it was great. All right, well, if you don't want to go on tonight,

then let the... I feel like now I'm going to bomb. You're not going to bomb. I feel like it's just... Use that, channel that anger. I can't now. Okay, okay, okay. Whatever you want.

All right, well... Well, I guess I'll take her spot. No problem. Well, Chrissy... Well... I hope you enjoyed the experience. You know, you probably didn't speak as much as you might have thought you would. It's okay.

It's okay. I'm better with fluffier topics. I feel bad that she got mad. Some people have their things that they... Well, you know, she was not easy. No question about that. I happen to be fond of her, but I felt that she was a little difficult. I adore her. I love the way she took down Bill O'Reilly back in the day. I happen to be fond of her, but I felt that she was a little difficult. I adore her.

I love the way she took down Bill O'Reilly back in the day. I always liked her. I do think it's not off limits to discuss philosophically the issues of the day and try to email podcast at comedyteller.com. I guess that's it. Chrissy, so...

If you want a nude, send 50 months to... Yes, very tasteful. Chrissy, so... If you want a nude, send a 50-months to... Yes, very tasteful. So, Chrissy, what did you think about what Janine and me and Noam said about the $50? Are you inclined to either give it back or give it to charity? Janine suggested that was her suggestion. Everyone was very harsh on me. I felt very bad. I don't think we were harsh on you.

I think we're giving you our opinions. Right, right. And... I think it was funny. I don't know. It was really funny. Well, we all agree that it was funny. It was definitely funny. So we all agree that it was funny. I don't know. It was really funny. Well, we all agree that it was funny. It was definitely funny.

So we all agree that it was funny. I'm sure. Yeah, I could. You should give it back. I could give this guy's money back. I feel bad. But I also don't. I think he was being stupid.

First, you need to find out if he's pro-choice or not. Okay. Because if he's not pro-choice, according to the Garofalo rule, you don't have to give it back. True. True. But did you find that that question. Why you make a face?

You see, when I heard about the incident and you told me that this... You didn't tell me, but I read on Facebook that this gentleman asked you for a nude pic. I didn't think of it as that outrageous. And then women friends of mine have told me, no, you don't understand. Women go through this all the time. And it's horrifying to be constantly asked for nudes or to talk dirty or this and that. Yeah, I think that what I did was proportional to how outrageous that

ask was for him. He's a dick, you know why? He should have been like she got me, fair enough. You got me. Oh, you got me. And I was like, you know what? Also, it's kind of like gambling. I was just like, send me whatever you can send me. But is it possible that he's very awkward?

True, it's possible. And he's just, I want a nude picture. First of all, we all want nude pictures of beautiful women. So we all want that. Now, most of us don't have the audacity to ask it of somebody that we don't even know. The audacity of hope. Yeah, I'm like, at least come to a show first. Could he have just been somebody that's clueless? That for whatever reason thought you might be interested in doing such a thing?

And I don't know why he would have thought that, but maybe he thought that. It's possible, yeah. Or he was just throwing it out there. You got to try. I got to ask one last question we got. Is there a way he could have parlayed this into a date with you? Like, you know what? You got me.

That's one of the great... You know, come on. You got my 50 bucks. More power to you. But come you know what? You got me. That's one of the great... You know, come on. You got my 50 bucks. More power to you. But come on, meet me for a drink. I mean, I wouldn't meet him for a drink because I currently have a boyfriend, but like I would, you know, like a friend date or like a, hey, let's hang out. Or like, hey, come to a show.

You know, I would meet the person. I'll probably be kind and give him the money back because, you know, I'm not here to, like, be, like, mean to anybody. I just thought it was like, who pays for news? There's so much... Or send him a nude. I will tell you, Chrissy Mayer.

I'll tell you, Chrissy Mayer, that's a good question. I think that's a good question worth investigating or discussing. Who would pay for a nude? No, I just want to get this last point out. There's plenty of nudes available on the internet. But when it's somebody that's not a porn actress or normally a person, just somebody, a regular girl that you know or are a fan of, it is 900 times hotter.

It's better. Five billion times hotter. There was, I've had in my life on a couple of occasions, rarely enough, regular girls that have offered to have sex with me for money. These are not prostitutes. These are not sex workers. They are young ladies who wanted to make some extra cash and asked me. And I thought it was the hottest thing in the world.

I'd be willing to pay a premium. Well, not that it's flattering. It's just when a regular girl that's not a porn actress or a nude model sends you a nude picture for money, that to me is extremely enticing. And so that is why a man might be willing to pay money even in a world where we can get porno on tap 24-7. I get it now. It's so hot to pay a woman that doesn't normally do that for a nude photo. And so I'm explaining his psychology. Sign off, Dan.

Okay. Christy Mayer, I apologize that you didn't speak as much as me. If you guys, can I plug a show? Yeah, go ahead. Actually, tomorrow I will be at West Side Comedy Club doing this show called Broads and Babes. I'm hosting it with Samantha Bednar. Joyelle Johnson will be on it. Corinne Fisher.

Marie Faustin. It's going to be an awesome show. Come out tomorrow. Joyelle and Corinne Fisher are both alumni of our podcast, by the way. Oh, good. And her weekly show at Stonewall is... It's monthly. It's every first Saturday of the month.

Is it gay themed? Because Stonewall is a gay club? Yeah, it's LGBT and adjacent. Would you qualify yourself as a fag hag? Yes. I love gay men. I'm a big fan. I'm also a non-practicing bisexual

currently. I'm sure Noam would have loved to have investigated that further, but we do have to go. Come again. Let's wrap it up. Noam has officially invited you to come back to discuss your bisexuality and I have to go. Okay. Come again. Let's wrap it up. We'd love to. Noam has officially invited you to come back to discuss your bisexuality and I have no problem

with that. Thank you everybody and we'll see you next time. Good night.