The Comedy Cellar: Live from the Table - Joe List, Sam Pressler, and Michael Garvey

Episode Date: June 8, 2018

Joe List is a New York City-based standup comedian. He may be seen performing regularly at the Comedy Cellar. Sam Pressler is the Founder of the Armed Services Arts Partnership or ASAP, a nonprofit that helps veterans integrate into their communities through the arts and comedy. He started Comedy Bootcamp, the first stand-up comedy class in the country for veterans and their families.  Michael Garvey is combat-wounded U.S. Marine Corps veteran who is an alum of ASAP's Comedy Bootcamp course. Since graduating from the class, Michael has gone on to perform at The White House, the Warner Theater, and DC Improv. His PTSD service dog, Liberty, performs with him and writes his material.

You're listening to The Comedy Cellar, live from the table, on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com. This is Live from the Table, the official podcast of the world-famous comedy cellar in Greenwich Village, New York City. We are on Roddug, Sirius XM 99. This is Dan Natterman, which can only mean one thing, that Noam is not here. And I think he'll be here later, though. Right. Stephen, our producer, has told me that he is... He's on his way. He hasn't texted me yet.

He's on his way, so he may be here, he may not be. We're here with Joe List. Hi. A veteran of our podcast. You've been here before, Joe. I've been here a couple times before, yeah. I mean, I'm a little uncomfortable. I mean, I came for Noam. I'm trying to get in with this guy.

He plays mandolin. I'm taking mandolin lessons. He owns the joint, you know? So that's what you were pointing on talking about when you came on, his mandolin lessons. The mandolin and anything. I was going to agree with anything he says, just trying to really get in good.

Well, that's where you're at fault because Noam actually prefers people that engage him. He doesn't want to hang out with somebody that agrees with him. That's where you're at fault because Noam actually prefers people that engage him. He doesn't want to hang out with somebody that agrees with him. That's no fun. He would rather hang out with people that have an opposite opinion. Alright, I didn't disagree with everything he says. Aren't you glad you heard that? It should be an intelligent, well-reasoned

contrary opinion. Oh, I'm reasonable, baby. So if you can swing that, that's the best possible, I think, the best possible approach. Now I'm nervous. But don't overthink it. Joe List, what's going on with you? Are you married yet?

I'm married. I'm wearing a wedding ring. I just got back from Paris, France. Thank you very much. Oh, you were just on your honeymoon in Paris? It wasn't a honeymoon. It was my wife's turn 40, so I took her to Paris on her 40th. We went to a honeymoon last year, which was very enjoyable.

Oh, wait. You've been married how long? I've been married almost a year. It'll be a year in August. August 40th. We went to a honeymoon last year, which was very enjoyable. Oh, wait. You've been married how long? I've been married almost a year. It'll be a year in August. August 17th. Is that right? Well, it goes so fast because it just seems like yesterday you were telling me you were engaged to this young lady. Well, I was. It was a year ago. I said August 17th. That's a lie.

I got married in the courthouse on August 16th. We had a ceremony on the 19th. And she is a fellow comic. Her name is Sarah Talamash. Yes. It's his comic on comic marriage, which is

not altogether rare in the comedy world. No, there's quite a few. Carrie Louise, Tom Cotter. Rich Voss and Bonnie. Yes. Al Ducharme and,

what's Al Ducharme's wife? Bernadette Polly. Bernadette Polly, yes. Is there any particular, I don't know, difficulties, advantages and disadvantages of your wife also being a stand-up comedian? I think it's... What does advantageous mean? It means it's a good thing.

That means it's an advantage, right? Is that the root word? Yes. That's correct. Advantageous. Advantageous. I just put this together right here in this moment. Well, it's fairly...

You learn a lot on this podcast. It's a fairly common word. Yeah, well, I'm not as bright as you might think. I have glasses and I look like a smart guy, but I'm not that smart. Well, anyway,

so you say it's advantageous in certain ways. It is advantageous because we know all the same people. That's helpful in a relationship because a lot of relationships,

I think someone comes home and goes, oh, Bob at the office was an ass and this person stinks, but I've never met them. So I go, I don't care about these people, but I can go home and be like, boy, you know,

Leonard Lutz was really being mean to me. She goes, oh, Leonard Lutz is like that. We know the same people. We hate the same people. I love Leonard Lutz, obviously. That was just because we were talking about him. So it's good to know the same people. Plus, we can go hang out at a comedy club together.

Whereas if you have a civilian wife or husband, they may not want to sit at the comedy club together. Whereas if you have a civilian wife or husband, they may not want to sit at the comedy cellar. Now, would it bother you if she all of a sudden took off? I would love that. And became a huge star. Well, we could use the money. And you did not. Okay. Well, I'm doing well enough right now that even if she was a big star, I'd go, well, I have my own fans.

I've been on television. I'm on the Comedy Cellar podcast. You know what I mean? But if I was an open mic-er and she took off, it might hurt me a little bit. Well, you hear that a lot about couples where there's jealousy between actors and people in the same field, but you seem to think you could handle that. I think I'll be able to. Of course, you don't really know until it happens.

Of course, it might be difficult because if all these men were trying to, you know, studly men wanted to have sex with my wife all of a sudden, it might be. Well, here's the problem, I think. You're in the comedy world. If you guys should break up, God forbid, and we hope your marriage lasts a long time. Thank you. It could well be that her next boyfriend is also in the comedy world. Well, that's why you have to get married.

Somebody that you know. Once you start dating a comedian, you have to marry the comedian because you can't have all your friends banging your ex-wife. And that's the other problem is she's had sex with many comedians. That you know. Yes, of course. Friends of yours? Friends with whom you have cordial relations?

Yeah, one of my best friends. And Leonard Oates, of course. She made love to him for many... That's going to be the theme. Yeah, well, we might as well keep that theme going. Yeah, might as well. But yeah, she slept with Modi, William Stevenson. I mean, quite a few cellar regulars here.

But you're saying she has them, and you're joking about those. I'm joking about these men. Yes, yeah. There's multiple people at my wedding who she's made love to in the past. Now, it's not necessarily uncommon to have people at your wedding that have other people that have had sex with one of the bride or the groom. May I ask, did you know afterwards that it had happened, or did she tell you later on in the relationship?

Well, the thing is, I've known her for many years, so I knew her while one of them was happening. You know what I mean? I've known her for 10 years before I was married to her, for God's sake. To assume that that would make most civilians uncomfortable, what do you think? I mean, did it make you uncomfortable? Here's my thing.

Once you're into your 30s, you can't be too upset about people that have had sex with the person before. You know, if you're 22 and you meet someone and you're like, oh, she slept with the entire lacrosse team, you might be like, oh, I'm a little weary of this. Right. But once you're older, you go, well, I've slept with a million girls. I will say that, you know, when it comes to oral sex and you're down there and you're thinking to yourself, so-and-so has been here. Yes. I don't know if that is something that bothers him at all to you, but that would be something that would be in my mind at a minimum.

See, it's not in my mind. I mean, it's in my mind now because you said it. Oh, sorry. And now we're really in there. But no, it doesn't bother me too much. It was in the past. And then there's also the mind now because you said it, and now we're really in there, but no, it doesn't bother me too much. It was in the past, and then there's also the thing of I'm having sex with her now. So what do I care about that guy?

I mean, I'm here now. Be here now, as they say. Okay, well, but that would bother some people. Yes, oh, certainly, yeah. And how are you finding married life? I love it. It's very nice. It's nice to have someone to go home to. We're good buddies and we laugh. She's very funny. She's a comedian. So we laugh the night

away and sometimes the day away. She is very funny, but I must say that just because she's a comedian doesn't necessarily want... There are comedians that aren't particularly funny, especially offstage. There are comedians that I can hang out with for hours and not crack a smile. But certainly Sarah Talamachi,

whom I don't know, but I'll assume she's not one of those people. No, she's a very funny person. But what's interesting is that there are comedians who, although they do the job on stage, off stage, are not overwhelmingly joyful or gay. No, what's uniquely... Gay in the old-fashioned sense of the term. What I find even more

uniquely interesting than a comedian who's not funny offstage is a comedian who's not attempting to be funny offstage. That's always fascinating to me. When you talk to a comedian, there's some comedians that try to be funny, but they stink offstage. Then there's comedians, they don't even crack a joke at any point.

You're just going, well, we're just having a discussion all the time. I'm not sure if I've ever met any of those. I know a couple of those. I Yeah. I'm not sure if I've ever met any of those. Oh, there's some. I know a couple of those. I mean, I think it's just as likely that you're going to meet comedians who crack jokes all the time

because they think in jokes. I actually had to train myself to not laugh when I'm hanging out with comedians because otherwise I'm that jerk off who laughs at everything. Oh, we need laughs. Why is that a bad thing? Well, if I'm sitting here talking about the economy

and I'm with two comedians who just think in jokes and they're telling jokes. Well, if it's a joke, then it's appropriate to laugh. Well, but they're not laughing. And so then I'm the only person at the table laughing

and then I look like an idiot. That's okay. We're used to that because we do that on stage. We tell jokes and we don't typically laugh, although some comedians laugh at their own jokes. Most generally don't.

We're used to that. We like that. So don't hold back. Yeah, please. Give it to us. It doesn't feel good. Like on the fourth joke, if I'm laughing at the fourth joke, and then it's like, oh, this guy. Well, that's something that you need to deal with.

I do want to talk briefly before we bring over our—we have a couple of great guests here today. Yes, we do. We have—what are their names again? Michael and Sam. Okay, Michael does a— Not Michael Sam. No, not Michael Sam. We would never have him.

No. But I just wanted to briefly discuss, what do you all think of... It seems to me that the internet, that the social network is being harsh on Ivanka Trump, and I think it's gone too far. Well, can you explain first about it? Today, for example, Kate Spade just killed herself, the bag designer. Yes. And so Ivanka wrote, you know, this just goes to show you that anybody can be depressed no matter how rich and successful you are. So if you're depressed, seek help and don't keep it inside.

Whatever. Don't be ashamed of it. Okay. And then a bunch of people wrote, basically, fuck you. Your father cut funding for mental health and, you know, so you shouldn't be saying, you shouldn't be telling us that we should. I mean, it's like... Can't anybody say anything just banal and boring anymore?

She's saying something nice about people should seek out help for their mental health issues, number one. Number two, she's not in control of what Donald Trump is... Every budget cut that Donald Trump makes is not... She's not in charge of that? No, they're separate people, and it seems anti-

feminist to assume that she's that directly associated with her father. She's an individual. She's not president. She's just the child of a president. Well, she has influence, and she does, you know... I suppose she has some. And she supports the president. But, and she supports him.

Well, she's his daughter. Obviously, she's going to support him. And just because she supports him doesn't mean that she's on board with everything that he does and that this particular budget cut that... I don't even know what the hell it is. And maybe it made sense in the overall context of the federal budget. I don't know. But assuming Donald Trump did a

terrible thing by reducing some funding for some mental health initiative, even assuming that's the case, she didn't do it. No, she didn't. I think it's just... It's not advantageous, I can tell you that.

Would I be defending Ivanka this vehemently if she weren't a beautiful young lady? I don't know. I think I you that. Would I be defending Ivanka this vehemently if she weren't a beautiful young lady? I don't know. Unlikely. I think I would be. You think so? I think so. But it may play a role subconsciously in my, you know, the male need to defend a woman.

It might play a role in there somewhere without my conscious knowledge of it. I mean, would you be as discerning and come to the person's defense? If she were fat, I might say that. Can you believe what that fat pig tweeted? It makes it seem like Kate Spade's sad, non-advantageous death is directly related to Donald Trump's

policy, which seems like a bit of a stretch. Well, that's certainly not the case, and she could certainly have afforded any mental health care she wanted. Yeah, exactly. But now have afforded any mental health care she wanted. Yeah, exactly. Well, actually, you... But now, you might argue that mental health research could have come up with new medications or new treatments... In the last three weeks?

Not likely, no. I don't believe there's a link there. I think they were just saying she's being hypocritical because she's saying mental health is important, but Donald Trump doesn't think it's important according to his actions. Do you think that you would come to the defense of Eric or Donald Jr. if something similar happened to them? I do think I would, but not with... There might be the vehemence... The vehemence. Vehicular homicide.

You know, obviously I find the Trump boys less agreeable than Ivanka, yes. And it might not be as strong a defense, but I think I would. I do think I would. Whether there was anything that could be done for Kate Spade, I don't know. I think that some mental illnesses, like some physical illnesses, just plain are fatal. And it's going to happen either way. There's nothing much that you can do about it. I didn't read much about it.

Well, I don't know what precisely the reason was. She hung herself. Yes, which is a particularly nasty way to go. It really is. And I don't know if it's because... It's also very effective. People generally don't survive that. According to the film Young Guns, you soil yourself when you're hanged. That movie came out quite some time

ago. I don't know. So you're saying that human biology has changed since then? It's a cowboy movie from the 80s, so who knows? They may not be that accurate. That's where I get most of my medical knowledge from cowboy movies from the 80s. I do have a question, though. Do you find that

mental illness is more prevalent in the comedy community amongst comedians? Because that's the common trope, isn't it? Well, we've been through this ad nauseum, and the answer is, of course, yes. Oh, really? Well, I'm not really in any other community, so it's hard to tell. You're not in the handbag community. Yeah, barbers may all be kooky and OCD or suicidal, but I'm not really sure. Well, I have been in other communities

because we all have. I did go to high school and college and did have some day jobs and know people that are not comedians. And, you know, I think it's fair to say, and still I'm friendly with people that are not comedians. Not me.

I think it's fair to say that, yes, there's certainly a connection. And that, you know, when a comedian kills themselves, as happens, it's not, to me, quite as shocking as to hear Kate Spade killing herself, which to me did strike me

a little bit as more shocking because she's not in the arts. You know, if she were a drummer, I would say, yeah, okay. I mean, you see, you meet a lot of comedians, though, who seem to be holding it together pretty well and very happy. Like Leonard Utes, for example, seems to be doing quite well. Well, he couldn't hang himself.

There's not a structure alive. Just to explain that for those who don't know, Leonard Utes is a heavier guy. Yes. And happy, seemingly. I think we can bring over our guest now. I'm going to go get Sam. Sam Pressler. He's the founder of the Armed Services Arts Partnership, ASAP.

Oh, wow. So it's easy to remember. It's a fun acronym. And it helps veterans integrate into their comedians through the arts and through comedy. That seems like a good start. Now, that's a very high suicide rate, is veterans. I don't know if we should bring that up. Well, I don't know if we should or we shouldn't, but we'll feel our way.

This is Sam Pressler. And where's Michael Garvey? We're going to bring him over in a minute. All right. We'll bring Michael. First, we'll talk briefly with Sam. We'll get the skinny from Sam. Pressler.

Hello, Sam. This is Joe Listam to your right. He is a comedian and a fine one, I dare say. Oh, you know who he is? Yeah. Oh, thank you. I appreciate it. Sam Pressler, are you a comedian?

No, I'm not. Not at all. Okay. But you are the founder of the Armed Services Arts Partnership. That's ASAP, and you help veterans integrate through stand-up and the arts, according to your biography. Tell us a little bit more about that. Yeah, so I started this organization, a non-profit.

Sam Pressler. Sam Pressler, that's me. When I was in college, as a means to kind of help veterans connect with their community and kind of come home. Essentially, integration is a double-sided challenge. It's around veterans having difficulties integrating into their communities because of mental health issues, because of kind of a lost sense of purpose. We were just talking about mental health issues in the comedy community, and we were saying

obviously in the veteran community, you know, it's even more so. Yeah. Although, to get into the Army in the first place, you've got to be pretty solid mentally, I think. I don't think the Army is accepting mental cases, although I could be wrong. I can't speak for official U.S. Army policy, but I do know there are certain standards to get in. I think what we see is some challenges in the program or experiences people had before they joined some are part of joining summer coming home

on the way we see comedy and with the research shows is that it's amazing at building resilience uh... doing comedy re are hearing come actually producing humor uh... so actually the act of writing jokes in the city of america is a way to kind of reframe your experiences uh... and and kind of taking the world in a different way now why you're interested veterans you yourself are not a veteran is that

correct now i'm not but i actually got into this work uh... because i have a family history of uh... actually suicide and uh... also close family members suicide and actually connected with some mental health challenges in the veteran space uh... and close family members suicide and actually connected with some of the mental health challenges in the veteran space. Um, and my college was, uh, in Hampton roads,

Virginia, which is one of the most densely populated, uh, military communities in the country. Um, and so it was this natural kind of, uh, transition to colleges in Hampton roads,

uh, William and Mary. Oh, yeah, I know. Michelle Wolf is an old second oldest college in America. As is John Stewart and Patton Oswalt. Oh, wow.

Powerhouse. I actually went to William & Mary because Jon Stewart went there. Oh, wow. And then I found out, because I'm a Jew from New Jersey. It's the natural path. And then I found out that he fucking hated it. Oh, really? Yeah.

Did you? George Washington went to high school. It was like a boarding school. And GW went there. Yeah, Thomas Jefferson. I didn't know anything about that. I know it from the song. There's a song, a Steely Dan song.

William and Mary won't do... That's my old school. Yeah. Yeah, I did a show there in November, and I learned a lot about the school. But I know it's a good school. I didn't, by the way, have any fun in college either. I'm not sure if it's for the same reasons you didn't have fun.

I don't think so, because you look like a good-looking guy that did get laid. I'm not sure if it's for the same reasons you didn't have fun. I don't think so because you look like a good looking guy that did get laid. I imagine, yeah. You seem like you got laid a few minutes ago. This topic has never come up when I've represented my non-profit before. We do things a little differently here. My grandma's listening.

She's proud of me. You're in good shape. You're a tan, all of skin, I would say. Yes. So you're saying you didn't get laid at William & Mary? Well, he's saying he doesn't want to. He wants to play the fifth year. He wants to play the fifth year.

FIF. No, but yeah, so. He doesn't want to talk about it. Okay. Stephen, didn't you brief him that anything goes on this show? He actually had no idea who I was. What? Of course I knew you. He's like, you're not a veteran or a comedian.

Well, so... Well, why don't we meet one of his clients? Are they clients? They're called alumni of our program. You graduated William & Mary. And this is what you're doing for a living? It's like a non-profit and you get money from people and you take a little salary. Hopefully you don't

skim too much. No, that is not our approach. Yes, I do this full time. This is your job and it's based out of is it based out of Virginia? Oh yeah, we're in D.C. and southeastern Virginia. Okay, this is Michael Garvey, combat wounded U.S. Marine Corps.

He's got a dog. And he's got a service dog. This is a big old service dog. And I don't know who this woman is. She's not a service person, I gather. Who is this young lady that you are with? This is Sharon Kang. She's also an alumni of our comedy boot camp class. She's a veteran as well.

Yeah, she served in the U.S. Army. And she's done our comedy class. She's done our improv class. And we're actually in town for another event. And she's up with us. And so she's joining as well. Okay. improv class and we're actually in town for another event and she's up with us and so she's joining as well. Okay, we might have to ask you to leave if

Noam comes. What's your name again? Sharon. Sharon, if Noam comes he's the other host then we might need that seat but for now, sit down. Sit. Noam stinks. No, I'm just saying he's the owner of the club.

I can't keep him out. I could step aside as well. Well, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. I'm dying to get out of here. Well, if that's the case. I'm joking. I'm bringing some humor in here. It feels like shit's about to get real, so I wanted to throw a couple jokes in there.

You mean Sam wasn't funny? Shit is about to get real. So I wanted to throw a couple jokes in there. You mean Sam wasn't funny? Shit is about to get real. So this is Michael Garvey, Marine Corps, retired. Medically. I didn't do 20. I'm not that dumb. Okay. I'm just dumb enough to get shot.

And where'd you get shot in? The stomach and the leg. Oh, my God. Two good places to get shot? No, it wasn't a magic bullet. It's not the Kennedy bullet. No, they could, if he's shooting from up high, I could see that he could go up high. Yeah, he's shooting downward, and it hits you in the stomach and then the leg.

Or you're doing yoga at the time. I was doing yoga, so that's fair. Well, then it makes sense. Now, I've heard from the movie Reservoir Dogs that the stomach is the most painful place to get shot. Is there any truth to that? Does Quentin Tarantino know what he's talking about? He's only been shot in two places. Yeah, I'm going to have to get more experience.

Well, you might have had dialogue with somebody else., I'm going to have to get more experience. Well, you might have had dialogue with somebody else. It wasn't a great place to get shot. It seems like a bad place. Can you briefly tell us, if it's not too painful, the circumstances of this incident? I was just in Marjah, Afghanistan, on my second deployment, and we were doing just regular patrol, and we got ambushed. And I was a combat engineer, so I have the metal detector.

I look for mines in the ground. So I'm in the front staring at the ground and just got shot. Now I'm sorry, what was your name? Sharon. Sharon Kang. Are you a wounded veteran? No, I'm just a veteran. No, she's shot.

She's just a regular veteran. Yes. But still, you're both suffering post-traumatic stress symptoms, I gather. No, so anyone who can participate in our programs who's a veteran service member or military family member. So some people do have PTSD. Other people are doing it to build skills. People come at it from a variety of different angles. You've got a service dog, so that means that service, he's here with a dog.

Yeah, he's not great for radio, but he is here. He's a sweet dog. He's very nice. You don't have a dog. No. She wants one. So does that dog mean that you have PTSD and that the dog calms you down? Yeah, that's part of his job.

When I got him, I had more mobility issues. I got him from an organization called Puppies Behind Bars. So they train them in prisons in New York here. And so, yeah, I got him from that, and he's been great. I've had him for about three years now, I think. And his name's Liberty. He's awesome. He's the only reason why people come to see me. But he's mostly, at this point, he's for your mobility or for your mental health?

Mental health, mostly. Right? I have mental health issues, you would say. I'm not a licensed provider. No. I just keep an eye on them. But you do go to therapy as well? Yeah, I go to therapy a couple times a week. It's great.

I get to cry about my mom. I love therapy. I go every week, and it's my favorite thing to do. Even when I'm not feeling bad. It's good to have someone who has a baseline on who you are, and they can see the ups and the downs before you can. It's legitimately my favorite thing to do. I love it.

Yeah, it's a one-sided conversation. Yeah, it's a beautiful thing. You know, Joe and I, we were in country as part of the USO. Yes. I went to Iraq. I never went to Afghanistan. Iraq twice. And Kuwait.

Oh, bragging. Twice. But never Afghanistan. I only went once. Yeah. I did one tour of a week. Yeah. And I did get injured.

We went to the swimming pool at Saddam's... Swimming pool. Camp Freedom. Does that ring a bell? That was in Iraq. I was in the middle of nowhere both times. All right. So I jumped off the 10-meter board in the pool.

10 meters is very high for you folks at home. And I got to the top of the board, and there were a bunch of combat veterans in the pool looking at me. And I said to myself, now, normally I would have climbed back down whimpering. But I said, well, I can't do that in front of combat veterans. So I jumped, and I landed wrong. And wouldn't you know it, my butt bone was hurting for a week. Did you get a purple heart?

No, I didn't get a purple heart. Should I apply? I think a lot of people leave Iraq with a hurt butt bone. But I do want to... That's like the main problem. I do want to talk about... So let's talk, guys, about this program. What's it called again?

Comedy Boot Camp. Comedy Boot Camp, which you guys are involved in. So what's that? What are you all doing with Comedy Boot Camp? Let's hear from you first. It's like a writing room, really. We give them the basics of what comedy is

and what a joke is, and then they go home, they come back with ideas and material. You're saying they, so in other words, are you part of the management team? I help instruct the class. I took the first Comedy Bootcamp in D.C. a few years ago, and I never left. I just kept hanging out in the back because I had so much fun.

And then after a while, Sam started to incorporate people who had taken the class and who were still actively doing comedy to help teach the class. Do you know Joe Cash now, by the way? He lost his leg in Iraq or Afghanistan. Oh, yeah, yeah, bald. He did that DVD with Bob Saget. He might have done. He was a guest here, and I wasn't there that week.

Yeah, I just showed him a few months ago in Virginia. He's very funny, if it's the same guy. Well, it might be. I don't know. How many one-legged comics are there, really? Is there a bunch? Probably not many. Is the market saturated?

If he's a combat veteran and an amputee doing comedy, it's probably him. Maybe. There was a guy named Tom Hayes in Boston. He had one leg, but there was no veteran. I think he was born with one leg or something. That's not a good story. No, I just... Born with one leg.

I hate myself. How about you? I've also gone through the comedy boot camp program, and I've been out for... I took it about a year and a half ago, and I stuck around because it's great. I was transitioning out of the military, and I saw that this opportunity was available, and I was like, heck, why not?

I have nothing to lose. It was a nice way to kind of explore what my hobbies could be or who I am and talk about things. Not all veterans have the same story. Every veteran has a different story. So it's interesting to see what other students come up with in these classes. And it's a very rewarding moment when you see your fellow classmates going up there and doing the graduation show and having a very successful show. Now, how many people are in the class at a time is usually like 10 to 12 10 to

12 we actually so we run we ran about six to eight classes a year we're actually funded by the bob hope foundation um which is like really cool huge honor yeah um and we get upwards of like for a class of 10 to 12 we'll get up to 100 applications for that program. So there's this huge demand. Because I think the veteran and military experience, it's so unique in American society. Less than 1% of the population serves since 9-11. So it's not people coming up,

like talking about the same dick jokes or dating. It's like Michael's getting on stage. Well, there is a lot of dick jokes. I love dick jokes. Everyone loves dick jokes. But people like Michael's getting on stage. Well, there is a lot of dick jokes. I love dick jokes. Everyone loves dick jokes. But people like Michael are coming on stage talking about life with your service dog, which is something that very few people can experience, but they can kind of learn from that, from hearing that on stage.

Now, is this something that the regular folks can go? Can civilians go buy a ticket and watch the show? Yeah. Oh, wow. Okay. So is there a website or a tour where people can go, I civilians go buy a ticket and watch the show? Yeah. Oh, wow. Okay. So is there a website or a tour where people can go, I want to go see this show? Yeah, so we're based in D.C. in Southeast Virginia. And so you can go to our website

asap.org or comedybootcamp.org and it has all of our performances coming up. We do about three or four performances a month. The main places we do in D.C. are the D.C. Improv, Draft House Comedy Theater, then we'll do the Funny Bone.

I love those venues. Draft House is nice. That's one of my favorites. There's not a lot of clubs in D.C. There's a good comedy community in D.C. Oh, for sure. All we really have is Draft House and the Improv. And then the Big Hunt is like the new all-in-one. I love the Big Hunt as well. Do you want to do comedy for a living?

I do. I go to school now because they pay me to go. Well, you're on the GI Bill or something. Voc rehab, kind of. When you get hurt, you get a couple extra benefits. So yeah, I do that. I get paid to go to school and then I use that to pursue comedy. And at the end, I either

have a degree or I'm still doing comedy. But what are you studying at school? Journalism. Okay. Because that's funny. It can be. There's a lot of funny journalists. Yeah. Work for the under... Journalism is under the gun right now. Obviously, Trump is insulting journalists left and right.

And there's a mistrust amongst many. Yeah, I think they hate each other. They go back and forth, you know. There's probably other stuff going on, but I haven't heard about it in a while. You think the world just stopped turning, right? It's just Trump, Trump, Trump.

Yeah, there's a lot of Trump. When we were talking about Ivanka being just constantly eviscerated on social media, pretty much everything she does. Yeah, which is weird, right? Like she insulted, like she said that Kate Spade, who just killed herself,

she said, well, you know, depression can hit anybody and you should go seek mental health care. That's an awful thing to say. Yeah, and people were like, well, fuck you because your father cut funding for mental health care, I guess. Yeah, I don't...

But it's like, it's not her fault if her father cut funding. No. And she's saying something nice and instructive and important. Right. You know, and so I don't, they're all shitting on her. Yeah, you can't, I mean, once people hate you, you can do no right.

Like, there's nothing, I don't think any of them can say anything that someone would be like, that's a good point. But this is a thing we do now, too, where we say they're all shitting on her. But in reality, probably a couple hundred thousand people tweeted at her. But there's about 350 million people in the country. That is true. So it's actually a very small percentage of people who actually care. Most people, if we went through and asked people in this building here, what do you call it, a restaurant, they'd probably go, I don't even know what you're talking about.

We don't even know who Kate Spade is. You know, you may be right. You know, we tend to look at the social media and think, well, this represents... Yes. We don't really know what it represents. They say people are outraged by this, but it's like, well, there's actually only 43,000 tweets, which there's more people at this Toronto Blue Jays game than actually are tweeting about something. But the thing about social media is it gives everybody a platform and it allows everyone

to share their opinions. So if it's a platform that they can share their opinions, somebody's listening. Yeah, and most people's opinions stink, including my own, right? But I would assume the outrage against Ivanka is fairly widespread. Just knowing what I... What seems to be in the air is that anything anybody associated with Trump does, they'll find a reason to be

outraged by it. But that's every president and the other side. It's just like... When Obama was president, you hear a whole lot of from the right it's like, not my president. Now Trump's president of the left is going, not my president. You guys are I hear the same, let's say that when Obama was president, you hear a whole lot from the right, it's like, not my president. Now Trump's president of the left is going, not my president. It's like, you guys are just repeating the same shit with a different guy in charge.

Well, it may be that now we're much more focused. Even since Obama was president, it seems like I'm on Twitter more. I can't say that Twitter's more important than it was in the Obama years. I guess it's not, but, but, you know, social media is certainly more important than it was when Bush was around.

Well, yeah. I mean, that was a minute ago. You know. But unfortunately, we just react, too. It's just like yelling into the vacuum. It seems like there's a lot of people who yell into the vacuum and they get that endorphin rush when people retweet them, but they're not really thinking, like, what's the long game here? Right, right. It might feel good to

yell into the vacuum, and I might agree with you, but at the not really thinking like, what's the long game here? It might feel good to yell into the vacuum and I might agree with you, but at the end of the day what are you trying to achieve in that long term? That's why if you look at my social, it's just pictures of my dog at different events. I thought you were going to say dick for a second. I got excited. I was like, I'm going to follow you right now. It's big and black and furry, but it's not my dick.

No, because I don't care. It's like I hate all social media, but I know I have to do it. So I'm like, here's my dog at this show. Here's my dog at this show. Now, you guys are military guys. The stereotype would be that you guys are MAGA people. That would be the stereotype.

I don't vote. I've never voted. I don't like any of them. I'm in the camp of none of it matters. They're going to do whatever they want anyway. Not a lot. I went to war under Bush. I went to war under Bush. I went to war under Obama.

Somebody's got to go to war under Trump. It's just like... Did you go to war because you believed in the cause or you wanted money for school? No, I was 17 and I was dumb. And I was in ninth grade when 9-11 happened. I'm like, freedom, freedom. And then I was telling him earlier, I was laying in bed after I got hurt, just reading and reading and stuff. And I'm just like, the more I read, I'm just like the more I read I'm like this was nonsense

yeah I gave up a lot of my life for some weird stuff like I don't know I just I just look back it just seems like a pattern of just invading the same countries and the same results yeah there is a pattern how can I ask you this if you watch the movie Restrepo did you see that yeah the ship was good yeah is it is it now you're obviously a veteran of that war is it because to me, it was one of the best movies I've ever seen in my life. I never saw it with Strepo. It's a documentary made. The guy is, well, maybe you could tell him probably more accurately.

I haven't seen it in a while. Those are who was the army. So when I watch that, it's kind of different. There's a good one called Battle for Marja. I was in Marja in Afghanistan, and that one's all Marines. Because I was the deployment after they took Marja. So it was a weird spot. Marja, Marja, Marja. I was in Marja in Afghanistan and that one's all Marines. I was the deployment after they took Marja. So it was a weird spot. Marja, Marja, Marja.

Yeah, it's a good spot. Yeah, Restrepo was an army unit in East Afghanistan and they had full all access. And it gets really amazing. I mean, there's fatalities that are documented. They had some pretty close combat situations there. That was a weird one. I think the filmmaker passed away later on.

Yeah, at Hetherington. He was killed in Libya. When I was over there, for my brief week, talking to the guys over there and the gals, most of them, I think, when I asked them why they were there, most of it was like seeking

adventure or money for school or nothing else to do. Meaningful. I didn't hear a lot of I believe in the car. You were on a base with a swimming pool. That was an R&R base. I was on other bases too where there was no swimming pool.

I think it's to your point about your perception of veterans or service members as MAGA people. I think it's kind of looking at what is a veteran, right? A veteran represents people from all walks of life. It's a slice of American society.

But it's not a complete... We're still people. We have different opinions. Right, but you're a specific kind of person. Just like comedians are a specific kind of person. The average person doesn't do comedy. Comedians, as we said earlier before you sat down, are a little off, more likely

to have mental health issues, probably more likely to have substance issues. So we have our traits that characterize us. Veterans are not the average person. The average person does not join the Army. Certainly not the average New York City person.

So the military is millions of people, right? So if you think about a million person organization, there's going to be different profiles within that organization. Well, I'm not saying they're all the exact same, but I'm saying there is some characteristics within, I mean, and Michael could speak more to this, so there's special forces guys

who have a specific characteristic, there's logistics people who have a different characteristic, it's like, you know, your investment bankers have a very different kind of characteristic than the people who are working in the back office. And I think that's sometimes like that one voice. Oftentimes it's like that white male combat veteran, per se, not to like racialize this,

but that's often what the perception of the veteran is. That's typically the loudest voice in the room, but that's not necessarily the representative voice in the room. So, I mean, I think I only call this out because I think there is that perception. And it could become, when it's associated with someone who's as divisive as Trump, it could actually become a wedge issue. And it's actually something where the veteran experience really represents the human experience in a lot of different ways. It's just magnified, right, because you're in the service or you're at war.

Did you say magified? Magified, yeah. I think one thing a lot of them look for is just who's going to give money to the military is a big thing. Because I went in, I do a lot with explosives. We heard stories when we were in school where it was like under Clinton, instead of getting TNT and C4, they'd get blocks of wood and they'd pretend on that, and then they'd get blocks of wood and they'd pretend on that.

And then they'd get the real stuff when they're just out in country. And it's like that's not when you want to learn how to play with C4 and TNT. So it's just like whoever is going to give us the funding so we don't die while we're doing whatever you want us to do, because we'll go do whatever you want us to do, then they'll support that. So it's like they just want to live. They just want good training so they can live and they can do whatever rich white people tell them to go do. Okay, but you also have a political...

You have political opinions. There's very little talk of politics in the military. It's all just like... You're there for a mission. It's really just... Yeah, and it's just young dudes. Like, nobody gives a shit about politics, really. It's like you're living in a hole. It's really just a, yeah, and it's a, it's just young dudes. Like, nobody gives a shit about politics, really. It's like you're living in a hole.

It's not like, I wonder how Congress is going to vote on this. It's just the most politics we ever got into was we were trained to go to either Iraq or Afghanistan, and they, it was the government shutdown, and none of us were going to get paid. And it was like, well, go fight your own war. Yeah, you want to get paid. Yeah. You know, I'm not living out in the desert so you guys can argue about this dumb shit. Right.

Yeah. I mean, I think the thing that we're seeing now is we've been at war for 17 years. And when less than 1% of the population has fought a war with no clear end goal, no clear outcomes, it puts a lot of pressure and burden on a very small slice of the community. And because we don't have a draft anymore. Bring back the draft, right? That's the message. If you take one thing away from this podcast... Do you feel that

way, that the draft should be reinstated? No, no, no, no. No. I like that some countries have... You have to do some sort of service, like maybe... Definitely not the military for everyone, but if you want to be a crossing guard for a couple years

and just like help kids not get run over, I appreciate that. I'm for that too. Yeah, that's service. Picking up trash, whatever it is. A couple years

of community service. Yeah. What was your name again? I'm sorry. Sam. Sam. Sorry. He's irritable.

What's that? I said gee whiz. I should have written it down. You get lost in those eyes. He is a nice looking man, but so you had no desire to join him? I know gee whiz I should have written it down You get lost in those eyes He is a nice looking man So you had no desire to join them I know I had asked you this already Oh Sam is soft

Feel his hands Feel his hands Feel those hands You didn't want to be Those are nice hands You had no desire or no inclination Oh here's Noam Yes

How did it feel to be around these real brave guys And you didn't do it? I think I thought about that a lot early on. Yeah. Right? So I thought early on there's going to be this disconnect. I think pretty quickly people appreciated and acknowledged what we were trying to do. No, they appreciated it, but how do you feel?

Because I remember when I was over there, I felt like, Jesus, I am a pussy. We all bowed down to Sam. I was just telling him, I think he's secretly just gathering veterans to start a coup later on. Because he gives a lot of people a lot of different opportunities and ways to express themselves, and they really appreciate that. No one just arrived,

for God's sakes. I'm sorry we have to ask you to say goodbye to... Bye! We loved having you. And by the way, you can eat for free here. Don't steal my dog, Sherry. Because you were on the podcast.

Noam Dorman. Not because of your service, but because of the podcast. Noam Dorman is late, but... We appreciate your service to the podcast. But if you want free food for your service,

go to Applebee's. Noam is late, but better late than never. He warned me there's a dog under the table. Sorry about that. There's a service dog. Not that that means you can't trip over him.

Noam was out because he had won a Greenwich Village Society for Historic Preservation Award. Oh, wow. It says here, presents a 2018 Village Award to Comedy Cellar for providing a family-owned venue for world-class cutting-edge comedy that has since 1982 continued the village's role as a launching pad for great new talent in the in the field of humor and performance so we do congratulate you know him for this prestigious award and we offer you this laurel and hardy handshake mazel tov well deserved but uh this is um hail sam sam presler. Pressler. And he runs Comedy Boot Camp, helping veterans integrate into society. He's very toned.

He has shoulders. He's a nice-looking man. We've been through that. Do you want to feel his hands? They're soft. Oh, I like that. They're nice. And this other gentleman is Michael Garvey.

U.S. Marine Corps, retire. Yes. Why are we having such a military show today? What was the... I don't know. Because that's when military show today? I don't know. Because that's when we booked them. I don't know why. It's Veterans Day, isn't it?

No, it's the anniversary of D-Day, but I don't think they were sent to touchdown. And they happen to be coming today. There's no particular reason. It's not just military. It's military comedy. Michael's a comedian. And Sam runs a comedy foundation. Michael is trying to get...

A comedy thing. Michael is using comedy to help veterans overcome their PTSD through humor and integrate into society. Or just find something fun to do because they're born out of their mind. Very little research. We just want to help veterans.

If you want to get out of the house more, if you want to get better at public speaking, whatever. So where do you guys stand on the Me Too stuff? The Me Too? Jump right into it. We were just actually talking about that, and Sam is worried about me in the future.

Is this the beginning of the show? We're at the end of the show because you came late. So jump right into it. No, we'll just restart. Well, I wanted to get to the wedding cake thing, but... Oh, get to the wedding cake. Go ahead. No, well, since... Noam loves to talk about issues of the day, and...

Well, as you recall, I had a debate with a woman from the ACLU. I think you were up there. I told her that the wedding cake was going to go that way. She told me no, and she started screaming at me. Once again, Dan, once again, I was right. Once again, Noam is prescient. Yeah, yeah. Not prescient.

If you can analyze something without putting your own personal interests and biases into it, you can usually get to a good answer. But people are so unable to separate how they feel about something from the logic of something. Well, anyway, just for the listeners who may not, I'm assuming everybody knows about it, but the Supreme Court, there was a baker who didn't want to bake a cake for a gay couple or didn't want to put on top of the cake happy gay marriage, whatever. Gay gays.

Anyway, they said, well, no, you've got to do it because you can't. Is it a gay topper? A gay wedding cake topper or a gay wedding cake bottomer? Mike. Power bottom. So went to the Supreme Court. gay wedding cake topper or gay wedding cake bottomer. Mike! So went to the Supreme Court. The Supreme Court said his religious beliefs take, I believe, I mean, I don't have the opinion

in front of me, but that his religious beliefs need to be respected. As a Christian, he doesn't believe in gay marriage. He should not be forced to make a cake, specifically a cake for a gay marriage with a gay marriage theme or whatever. Is that a rough... I actually was so busy, I didn't read about it

and I didn't read the opinions. None of us know anything about it. But that's roughly, more or less, what the decision was. But I did pick up from the blurbs. What was interesting is that two of the liberal justices of the court voted with the conservative majority so that one can probably presume that it was a very, very compelling case because, you know, the liberals don't want to vote that way. I believe the argument was it was a very narrow decision and it was based on at the Colorado level some opinions expressed on that court that were more personal oriented rather about the facts of the case

so they narrowly reviewed it and sent it back. I don't know what this guy knows his shit. I tell you, Sam, it sounds like he has a legal background. Is the Supreme Court in Colorado headed that? I'm lost. Cheers. Well, anyway, Michael, I know you say you're not big into politics, but any thoughts? No, I like conspiracy theories.

I think we're being run by a secret government and the shadow government, and that's how it always will be. And the rest of the president is a puppet, and he's just there to get yelled at. Be that as it may. Should a baker be obligated to bake a cake for a gay... I don't think so. Just vote with your dollar

if you're upset with... Like, Chick-fil-A pissed off everyone and nobody stopped going to Chick-fil-A because they're like the chicken nuggets. They're too good.

I didn't want to go to Chick-fil-A because I wanted to support the business but then marriage, gay marriage became the law of the land so it felt like,

well, gay marriage won so I can go back to Chick-fil-A now. Right. The problem was, and this is why I thought they go this way, then you start running into the idea of having to have a black baker do a wedding cake for some white supremacist thing or whatever it is. A clan cake. You start getting into compelling people to do things that violate their conscience. Now, of course, there are lines that we have drawn.

And usually they regard the black situation. Jesus Christ, I can't even speak. The black situation? Usually they regard the situation of African Americans because they have a unique historical oppression in this country. Yes. And so things like making laws about public accommodations and things like this, these were unprecedented laws at the time, and they had to be made. But the court has been loath to just willy-nilly expand this kind of unique protection

based on a strict scrutiny of race to every single thing under the sun. Well, in other words, if I could just... Yeah, I'm out of breath from running. That's why I'm having trouble expressing myself. In other words, we should just... There are those who believe that people should be allowed to, if you have a private business,

serve who you want to serve. You can be... We have a right to be an asshole, and there should be complete freedom of association as a general matter. But in extreme situations like you had with segregation in the South, it may be appropriate for the government to come in and make laws saying, you've got to serve these people. Yeah, and I think serving people, I don't think that,

I think the Supreme Court would also rule that you can't bar gay people from coming into a hotel or something like that. And I think that's right. Because if public accommodations were to bar a whole class of people, the people can't function well in society. But then to expand that to compelling everybody to do anything at all that they ought to do,

the court is not eager to do that because of the reasons I said. So then you can just imagine it. You know, like a Nazi going to the Jewish baker to come on and put a swastika on my cake. And the guy says, I don't want to put a swastika on your cake. You can't just... I'll pay you double. Okay, I'll put a swastika on your cake.

Anyway, but I'll read about it. I mean, they're pretty easy to draw. Just put your own... It's going to be the same thing with the nuns having to have birth control, Obamacare and provide birth control. I predict the court is going to say no. Wait, I don't know about that case. I don't know if it's going to... Is it Hobby Lobby?

Is that the case? I don't know. I'm not sure. You're more informed than I. The nuns didn't want to have to provide health insurance that provides birth control. Right. And Obamacare mandates that they have to do it. And I predict the courts will take the nun side because it's so easy for the government to find a way to get people some particular exception for this and they can provide a program for people who have conscious don't want to provide birth control and

get people their birth control but the whole country was founded on the idea of not compelling people to do things that violate their religion right and and the court's not going to want to do that if there's an easy and an efficient alternative doesn't matter how you feel about birth control or nuns that's not the point at all. The whole point of all these protections is that they're supposed to be there for the time, for the people that you don't agree with, so that they're for you when you need them.

That's true. That's what we're fighting for. Yeah, but people have totally forgotten that. That's what they tell us we're fighting for. People have totally forgotten that. You need these things to be there. Sooner or later, your number comes up, and you're the one in a thousand person who's getting compelled to do something

or having to abide by an opinion you don't agree with. And that's what civil liberties are all about, the protection from the tyranny of the majority. Right, Dan? Yes. I guess so. So you're saying you not only predicted the Supreme Court decision, but you agree with the Supreme Court decision.

Yeah, I think I agree with it. I mean, I'm not an expert on it, but yeah, I think that they should stay out of people's lives as much as they can. And people need to stop and remember again before the government compels you to do something that you really find violates your conscience. And as the argument I've always given, if we get attacked and there's a draft, if I say, listen, I'm a conscientious objector, I don't feel I can kill somebody,

they will honor my conscience and say, okay, you don't have to go fight. That's nice. But if they will not compel you to fight for your country when it's attacked, maybe they don't need to compel you to make a cake. Right. But I guess the counter-argument is that they're worried that

he's using his religion as an excuse and it's actually just hatred of a group. He doesn't want to serve a group. Yeah. That's what they're saying. He's allowed to hate a group. Yes. It's not illegal to hate a group.

I wouldn't want a guy. If a guy hates Jews and doesn't want to make a bar mitzvah cake, you know. Now, but there are. I'm not an absolutist because. And people, wise people have to know where to draw lines. If it became a situation where it kind of reached a critical mass where a particular class of people couldn't live happy lives, it wasn't as easy as just going to the guy next door or whatever it is,

we would have to step in and say, no, this is more than we can handle and we're going to have to have some extraordinary countermeasures. But I don't think that's what the situation is. I don't think these people are having trouble getting a Mike and Sam are looking like they feel a little bit like they weren't

expecting this. No, I'm just thinking we cover it all here in the comments. When anyone justifies whatever they're doing with something that Caveman wrote in a book a long time ago, my brain shuts off. But that's what the Constitution provides.

You're absolutely right that it's there to protect people. You have these freedoms. And that's why I'm saying vote with your dollar. But we do, like, there are different standards. Like, if we found out a bakery wouldn't serve Jewish people, like, that would be an outrage and everyone would be very upset. And I think that it would be more of a big deal. Listen, if I was a baker and somebody wanted me to make a cake

which was dishonoring of the military, or, you know, after Vietnam, you know, made some pictures of a soldier, you know, killing babies, whatever it is, as a protest. I'd say, listen, I don't want to make that stupid cake. Right.

Go get someone else to make it. Right. Yeah. Vote with your dollar. But, what... Now, I know what you're thinking, and it's not an easy issue because... Did I say easy issue because there is something about bigotry against homosexuality we want to resist

so that's why two liberal justices voted the other way It's not an easy case I just don't speak on things I'm not an expert in Well everybody else is doing it Yeah, but I have to represent an organization Sam has an image

Are you an expert on homosexual love? in. Well, everybody else is doing it. Yeah, yeah, but I have to represent an organization. Are you an expert on homosexual love? Yes, he is. Okay, go ahead. I had a feeling. By the way, Sam is playing it close to the vest. He also didn't want to discuss his sex life in college. Well, he's running an organization,

of course, so you gotta... I bet you Mike would be happy to discuss... He's in college now, actually. Oh, Jesus. We should not discuss this one. Way deeper than we wanted it to go. Anyway, whatever. You don't have to.

I go to a community college, so it's different. It's a commuter thing. No one lives there. Then I didn't kiss a girl for four years. Why? Well, I know what you're thinking.

A good-looking guy like yourself with those lips. These birdy lips. But, you know, the truth thinking. A good-looking guy like yourself with those lips. These birdy lips. But, you know, the truth is I was painfully shy. Where did you go to college? I used to be very shy, too. University of Pennsylvania. You get shot and someone gives you a dog, you don't have to be shy anymore.

It's like I can't go three feet without somebody just wanting to fucking talk to me. But my favorite is just shutting down hot chicks. Because, like, I don't let anyone pet him. But the look they give me, because they don't hear no. They don't let anyone pet him, but the look they give me, because they don't hear no. They don't hear no evers. Can I pet the dog? I'm like, no.

That's interesting. I've gotten yelled at for it. Some people are just accommodating. That's bullshit, though. That's bullshit. Okay, don't. Okay, one hot chick. I don't know if you should be swearing.

You run an organization, for God's sake. A non-profit organization. You guys set me up. So we did a comedy show accidentally for 52... Okay, this was the Miss America... So we did a comedy show for

50 Miss America, like the 50... 52. 52. Puerto Rico and the other place. Guam. Whatever, we did that in D.C. And Michael's entire set is about how he is a service dog and all the stupid stuff people say to him about his service dog and how they always ask the pet and all these things.

Then immediately after the show, all of the Miss America. I also said I like boobs. That's a fair point. So they were helping me. I was helping them. It was me and Sam in this restaurant with just 52 Miss America patches. Now, how many of the 52 did you make? None.

They were very nice. And unfortunately, they were like, a very special guest is coming. And they just get this DC, and they're like, we might meet the president. And then they're like, here's your very special guest. And I come stumbling out with a dog. Mike Harvey and his dog, Liberty. You're way better than the president. Well, it was also the week of the police shootings in Dallas.

And so the woman who organized it asked me to give a motivational speech in the beginning because of the tenor of the week. Oh, my God. And asked me when I got there, like an improvised motivational speak. That's a tough spot. And so I was like, you girls are leaders in your community. Oh, my God. And you are going to be the ones who are going to serve and bring us together.

And I didn't mean any of it. Question for Mike Garvey. Yes, sir. Is it Mike Garvey or Mike Harvey? Garvey with a G. Mike Garvey. Like that baseball player I recently heard is not a good guy. Steve Garvey. I don't know if you, at least from the old days, Steve Garvey. a G. Mike Garvey. Like that baseball player I recently heard is not a good guy. Steve Garvey.

I don't know if you... Oh, he's from the old days, Steve Garvey. The Dodgers. I heard they kept him out of the World Series because he was a little promiscuous. That's not right. I don't know if you fly a lot. I do. With the dog.

With the dog. Do you get special treats? Do they have the temerity? The audacity to search you and to give you a random... It depends on whether or not I have a beard. We were just talking about if I have the beard, I get the full pat down. If I don't have the beard, they don't. I don't have to go through the body scanner, which is nice,

because all the scar tissue in my stomach shows up as something hidden underneath all my clothes, so they always want to rub on that. You have a card that says, hey, I'm a combat veteran, a wounded... No, there's no card. By the way, have you guys had this experience? It's probably time to go. It's not time to go. I hope it's related to my question. It's about flying, and I found it astounding.

I was buying a ticket back from Vegas, and for $25 more or something, you get to buy TSA. Yeah, that's wild. What do you mean you get to buy TSA. Yeah, that's wild. What do you mean you get to buy them? That means you get to go on a special TSA line. Like even more speed

is what JetBlue calls it. Is that the air? And with that, you don't have to take your laptop out of the case. You don't have to... Are you sure about that? It's like PreCheck, the TSA PreCheck. Yeah, PreCheck. TSA PreCheck, yeah, sorry. You don't have to take your shoes off.

Right. And you just buy it. It's like a mockery of the whole system. Are you sure that's true? I'm 100% sure. I think you give them access, though, to a lot of your stuff. Yeah, I got the PreCheck, and it was $85 for five years. But they set up.

But you have to give them yours. Once everyone had that, then they went with Clear. Clear is... They set up the same system for boarding that they do for security. So now it's like you can get status. But I would think a combat veteran should at least get that

as a combat veteran, like thrown in with your Purple Heart, and you also get TSA Pre. I mean, people are pretty nice to me. I'm okay with it. I like to fly Southwest because they got that bulkhead in the front, and I just sit there. I think every plane has a bulkhead. Well, in the front of other planes, you pay extra money to sit in the front. Oh, you're saying Southwest, you don't pay extra money.

You just sit wherever. And so that front spot's got like three extra feet, so it's nice. I rely on the kindness of strangers because he'll start like right in my space. Like he's not taking up any room, but five-hour flight, he's going to spread out a little bit. Has anybody ever volunteered to give you their first-class seat? No, but I've also – I stay away from planes that that's an option on. I see. Like sometimes I have to fly like Delta or something to go to Arizona or whatever,

and I'll pay a little extra. But they're little. It's not even worth it because that bar is right there in the middle where your feet is. Like, it's good if it's just your legs. But if you bought that seat to get a dog in. Right. That's not handy for me. But no, they're usually very nice to me in airports.

Everyone's cool. I've never had a huge problem. Yeah. And he's, you know, we fly a lot together. So he's messed up a couple of times. He's a good dog, but like one time he got sick in Colorado because I let him have a wild bone we found on the trail, and he was just shitting his

brains out for four days, and we got to get on the plane and he's still shitting. Oh, wow. Yeah, he's shitting the airport in Colorado and Denver. We got to Florida. I ran him off the plane. I was just waiting for someone to close on me because I'm fallingling through just everywhere, trying to get him outside as quick as humanly possible.

He shits all over the place right when we get outside of TSA. I got to run back on the plane to get to Baltimore. That's a big dog, too. What kind of a doggie is that? He's a black lab. That is not like a... Classically trained English Labrador. How do you do, Chris?

Hello, Chris Rock. What's that? We're doing a podcast. Oh, one of those things. you do Chris? What's that? We're doing a podcast. Oh, one of those things. Hey, Chris. We've got a combat veteran here and he's doing comedy to help integrate into society. I know he's got the big arms. He looks like a veteran.

Are you joking? Are you joking? He's good. He's the veteran. He's nothing. He's got the big arms, though, so maybe he should fight some more. Sometimes the dog barks. We don't know if he's funny,

but he's newer. Thank you, Chris. Chris Rock, ladies and gentlemen. That was comedy veteran Chris Rock. Oh, is that who that was? A lot of these service dogs you see are these tiny little dogs. You see these girls getting on planes with their little chihuahuas.

Because we were just on the Jim Jefferies show, which is, he was on the Jim Jefferies show. They found a news clip that I did a year ago, and they tried to use us as an example for, like, why people should have service dogs. And, like, so he didn't name me. He didn't talk about how I was doing comedy. He was just like, here's a dog, Liberty, and this fucking guy who got shot in the stomach that sucks right i'm just like come on bro now this is disappointing i figured this is the biggest thing that you guys have been a part of yeah because you said my name well that's better well garvey yeah harvey garvey whichever we've had the opportunity to do some weird stuff. We did a veterans comedy show at the White House.

Oh, wow. Not this White House in 2016. So we did eight veterans. Same White House, but a different presence. But being in this building is way cooler than that. This building is well, it's the comedy cellar. Chris Rock didn't walk into our White House. He just strode.

Yeah, this place is very cool. We are honored to be here. This is very cool. We are honored to be here. This is very cool. We are so excited. Sam was like, can you want to be on? I'm like, yeah, man. I will do. Noam is a huge fan of our event.

He never served himself, but he is a huge fan. It's because he's smarter than the rest of us. There's a reason why. I came here. So after my uncle committed suicide in high school. Whoa, bring it down. Now we're getting personal. Yeah, let's end on a really low note.

I'm also getting a divorce right now. I don't know if we want to make it even sadder. You are a salmon. And my girlfriend broke up with me. He got shot twice. No, but I came here every month. I have herpes. This was the place I came to.

I feel like business class this semester. You were close to your uncle. Yeah, yeah. Because if I committed suicide, I think my niece would go about her day. Well, I'm sorry. I don't know. I think she'd be sad, but I think... You've got to make it memorable.

You haven't planned this out. Not everybody's close to their uncle is what I'm saying. Yeah, I mean, this is the place I came to to forget, and it holds a very special place for me. I remember the first time I ever saw John Mulaney was here, and I had no idea who he was and now he's John Mulaney. This has been a really special place.

When Steven reached out, I was just incredibly grateful for being here. Is he leaving because we're taking the table? I hope that... Chris? I don't think so. William! William! William! William! Did he leave because there's no place to sit?

No, no, he's doing something. He's doing something. Okay, what is the time? Does he want to hang out later? I have to go upstairs. So, okay, no, it's about time that we... The show is basically over anyway. I was so scattered, I think I said stupid things.

We do an hour, and an hour is nigh. But we'd like to thank our dear friend, Joe List. Thank you for having me. I appreciate it. It was great to meet these guys. Our new friend, Sam Pressler. Pressler.

Thank you so much for having us. Thank you, guys. And Mike Harvey, and thank you. Garvey, like the baseball player. Did you see the Kirby enthusiasm where he wouldn't say thank you for your service? Well, it sounds so where he wouldn't say thank you for your service?

Well, it sounds so clear. Should I say thank you for your service? It just sounds like clear. Like, thank you for your service. This is what I do. I say it off mic. I want to start telling people to apologize for my service. Because I was not old enough to vote when all this went down.

This is all your fault. Are you proud of your service? Yeah, I love the Marine Corps. I love Marines. I don't regret joining. I just wish things had been different. Maybe we should say it to more people, like waitresses and prostitutes and everything. I say it to waitresses. Just dilute it a little bit.

The best... I think one time a girl got off stage. It was the best she got up after me and she said, thank you for your service, dog. That's good. Thank you. That's a good note to end on. Thank you, everybody.

Okay, thank you. We'll see you next week on the Comedy Cellar Show.