The Comedy Cellar: Live from the Table - John Stossel: Libertarian Extraordinaire

Episode Date: March 7, 2019

John Stossel, Ryan Reiss and Keith Robinson

You're listening to The Comedy Cellar, live from the table on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com. Good evening, everybody. Welcome to the Comedy Cellar Show here on Sirius XM Channel 99. We're here, of course, with Mr. Dan Natterman. Hi, Dan. How do you do, Norman? Welcome back from the Bahamas. I know you don't want to talk about it, but I just want to welcome you back. It was fun.

And Ryan Reese, of course, one of the regular comics here, and also opens for Seth Meyers. And you used to warm up for somebody else famous. John Stossel. John Stossel. John Stossel. And Perry L., our producer, and our guest of honor, really one of the people I could really consider a hero for many, many years.

Mr. John Stossel is here. I've been aware of you ever since you were on, I think it was Channel 2. Were you on Channel 2 in New York City? Wow, you are old. Yeah, I'm 56 years old. What was he doing on Channel 2? I was a consumer reporter. No, but that was after 2020 or before?

Before. Oh, Eight years. And you made a big impact on local New York television. I won lots of Emmys because there were no consumer reporters before. It was this new thing. What about this guy, David Horowitz, the fightback guy? He came later. He came later.

Okay. No thoughts on David Horowitz? No. Okay. Now, John is a... I thought maybe there was a rivalry or something. John is a committed libertarian, correct? Yes.

And were you a libertarian back then when you were doing consumer reporting? No, that's what was so weird. I was winning all these awards, bashing business, and calling on government to regulate this. And I'm so stupid. It took me 20 years to realize that the regulation does more harm than good. Were you a Naderite, kind of, at the time? Yes. What would you, if you had to rate the cellar? Wait, wait, wait.

So, I didn't mean to interrupt you. Go ahead. Top-notch. The cellar. Because, I don't know where to jump into it. I basically agree with you, but I can't deny that from time to time, like, Ralph Nader was very early with the airbag thing. And I had some sympathy for that back then.

I don't know how you've—you probably had sympathy for it then. Totally, yeah. Oh, we've got to have airbags. We've got to have seatbelts. So where was he wrong? Three-point seatbelts. Look, that's the—when people talk about libertarians, they always take the best case and throw it in my face. Clearly, airbags save tens of thousands of lives.

But you could also make an argument that people drive, and data shows that people drive faster once they're strapped in the seatbelts. And actually, Nader was a proponent of seatbelts long before airbags. That was the big thing. You could say the best auto safety device is a spike attached to the steering wheel because it really makes you pay attention when you drive. People adjust to these things. But my argument is that if they hadn't required the seatbelts, then the three-point seatbelts, and government-set standards.

Today, thousands of people would have died, yes, but today there would be the market competition would have invented 17 different types, and they'd all be better than the one we have now. And in the long run, I bet more lives would be saved because there would be free competition, and that makes everything better. So they're not free to innovate the seatbelts now? Sure, if you go and blow the right politician, kiss their ring, and you just say, well, let's stick with the old. Too hot for TV.

It's docile. It's too hard to make any changes in a government system. So nobody innovates. But somebody could innovate because they think it will help them sell cars, even if it's not regulated by the government. But it is regulated by the government, so they have to get permission to make any change. The seatbelt has to be as prescribed. You need special permission to do a different seatbelt. But isn't it also true, though, that safety really doesn't sell

or doesn't sell as much as you would think it would? Yes. So you have to kind of force people to think of safety, and they might not otherwise think of it? You save lives that way, but look, I'm an adult. I don't want to be forced. I want to make my own choices. What do you think about the seat belt loss? Having to wear the seat belt. I think you shouldn't have to. I agree to make my own choices. What do you think about the seatbelt laws? Having to wear the seatbelt.

I think you shouldn't have to. I agree. You shouldn't have to. It makes no sense. What about car seats? It saves lives. I disagree. Wait, wait. Can I just make my... So you have to wear a seatbelt. You don't have... But you can ride a motorcycle.

You have to put your... On an airline, you can carry a two-year-old child in your lap without any seatbelt or a car seat. You have to have a car seat in your car, and you can't, but you have to have your seat at a total 90-degree angle because there's no rhyme or reason to it that I can see. There's rhyme or reason. We have to have the seats up so you can exit if the plane crashes, and there'll be more room.

But how can you carry... If it's so dangerous that you have to have the seat up, how can they let you carry a child with no seatbelt at all? The safety maniacs just didn't get a hold of them. Or a motorcycle. I disagree with what you say about seatbelts in cars.

I think people don't think rationally. I know that, especially in the backseat of a car, you know, sometimes if I'm in a cab and I feel like, if I put the seatbelt on, I almost feel like it's kind of, you know, like,

oh, I'm a... Nerdy Drew. Buckle up for safety. Where's my inhaler? But if somebody forces me to do it, then I don't have to have that problem. They don't have to force you. Pardon?

They can give you incentives. Give a discount on your ride if you wear a seatbelt. That'd be fine too, maybe. But in other words, if I'm left to my own devices, I put on that seatbelt, sometimes I feel like,

meh, safety. What do your dates think? What do the dates think? When you bring the girl home and you strap her in the back? Yeah, well, that's another thing. You can't make out also in the back. That's another issue. By your logic, we should ban this martini I'm having

and fatty hamburgers. Everything is a balancing act. Because putting on a seatbelt is so unobtrusive and easy and doesn't really make your life any worse. Not when it's covered with slime in New York City in the back of the cab. First of all, and I think John would agree with this, it creates a whole new excuse for people to pull you over and catch you doing something wrong. And we see that as business owners, like when they pass the no smoking law, which, you know, I actually like

that law, but then they start looking for cigarette butts on the floor. Like they have a whole new police force now to find people who were smoking in restaurants. And, you know, they pull people over now. Now this is one of the ways they, cops can pull you over in your car and say, ah, he wasn't wearing his seatbelt. So go ahead. This is what makes Norman kind of a libertarian, that most people in life never run anything, never build anything. You've started businesses. Guilty as charged. That makes people libertarians. Everybody else is getting a paycheck. You go through that regulatory process and see how those inspectors come in here and they have total power over you. It makes you think about the benign Bernie Sanders government that they want. Oh, God. Can you imagine?

So I have one question. Now, I was very moved. I think it's okay to talk about it. You had lung cancer. And I think I heard you on O'Reilly or something, but you said that the lung cancer was uncovered through one of those tests which you would always disparage as being over testing is that correct yes tell me tell me about that that's an amazing it's an amazing story

and to me it's amazing that if it didn't shake your belief system in any way i guess i'm old nothing shakes my belief system but i had a cough. My wife is a medical anxious person, and she insisted I get a scan. The scan turns up a tiny thing. It was a form of lung cancer that might have grown and killed me. They plucked it out and plucked out one lobe of my lung, and I seem to be fine. I'll probably die of something else. But there is much too much testing. And there's gets false positives.

People have unnecessary surgeries. I told my doctor I had a frozen shoulder and he wanted to give me an MRI. And I told him no. I said, why? He says, well, just to make sure. I said, it's a frozen shoulder. I looked up on the Internet. And I don't want to go in no tube. And he didn't make me. But the point is, I

was an educated consumer, like that department store. Was it called Sims? Sims, yeah. How's your shoulder? Frozen. Well, I read it. Just as I read on the internet, it said it would go away in a year, no matter what you do. And in a year, I mean, I still have some limited movement. But the point is, basically everything he gave me was unnecessary. I diagnosed myself year, I mean, I still have some limited movement, but the point is basically everything he gave me was unnecessary. I diagnosed

myself online and it went away in a year as it said online. That sounds promising, diagnosing yourself online. You'd be surprised what you can do online. No, but there is a feeling, and I'm I need somebody like John to fuck me up on this

because I am at risk of being seduced by the idea that anybody should not have access to these kind of tests which can save their lives. And I know we can't afford it. At some point we can't afford it. But shouldn't we be trying? And what you were able to get, it bothers me that every person couldn't just walk in and get that. And I don't know what you feel about that. Why can't they? It's not an emergency, right? If you don't have health insurance, can you just walk in and get a scan like that?

That could potentially save your life. You pay for it. But if you don't, if you're poor, you have Medicaid. that could potentially save your life. If you pay for it. If you pay for it. But they can't. If you're poor, you have Medicaid. And if some doctor says, look, this ought to be done, then it gets done. Will they do it for a... Because I thought that the way you described it, it was like the doctor was doing something which many people would have considered overkill.

I considered it overkill. The doctors are so eager to test because they get sued if they don't. I don't think that the lung cancer doctor makes money off the scan. And the MRI at least isn't intrusive. I get claustrophobic. I don't want to go in that tube. But isn't medical malpractice the number three killer in this country? No.

It's bad, Doc. I'm pretty sure it is. You probably heard that on Seth Meyers. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Documentary, HBO. You want to put even more money on it? So if you could design the American medical system from scratch, what would you do? How would you?

Same thing as for comedy clubs. Free market. If you want it, you pay for it yourself. And private charities or people like me who have money would pay for poor people. But it would be individual choice, and you pay your own bills. That's the only thing that works well in any system. Well, what about somebody who can't afford medical care? So you're saying he can't get medical care, or that society should pay for his medical care or not?

I think society will pay for poor people who need medical care. And think about the Great Depression. America was so much poorer then. How many people starved? And it was 25% unemployment. People who were working barely had money. Almost nobody starved. Why? Because there were 18,000 mutual aid societies. And it was 25% unemployment. People who were working barely had money.

Almost nobody starved. Why? Because there were 18,000 mutual aid societies. People helping other people because we like to do that. And they were racist. And there was whites helping whites. Koreans helping Koreans. But they knew better who needed it. There were Koreans in America in 1930s?

Jews helping Jews. Blacks helping blacks. And they, in their little groups, knew better who needed help versus who needed a kick in the ass. And it was a better system. Once the welfare state came in, almost all of them disappeared. Because while government's doing it, we don't need to make those choices. But government, by necessity, has to be one rule that fits everybody, this blunt instrument. And over time, all innovation stops.

It becomes unwieldy, expensive, bad decisions get made. The only thing that works well is a market. Look at the parts of medicine where people pay themselves. Cosmetic surgery and LASIK eye care. Prices have come way down. The offices are nice. They play Star Wars movies in the waiting room. And it gets better.

The rest of medicine gets more expensive and barely gets better. Noam would probably argue that psychiatry, which is also what people pay themselves, is a crock then and it's a crock now. That could be. themselves is a crock then and it's a crock now. That could be. My wife's a psychologist and my daughter's a psychiatrist at Rikers Island. But everybody brings up Canada. Now, you may be right that, and I don't know if you are or you're not, you may be right that the free market system would be the best system. But then again, the Canadians seem to enjoy what they have up there.

Now, some of them complain, I imagine. I have relatives in Canada. My parents are both Canadians, so I speak to Canadians all the time, but they're reasonably happy with their system, and it's not like their, I think their health and their lifespans are as good as ours or better. Better. So how would you explain that or reconcile that? A couple pieces. In the rest of the world, they live longer, not because their health care is better,

but because they shoot each other less often. We Americans are big on that. We're fatter. We die from that. We drive more and have more car accidents. That shortens a lot of our lives. And more social problems. And more social.

We have a big underclass that perpetuates itself and has a lot of health problems. But in Canada, you survey people, and they like the system. But most people are not sick. So when you ask people, are you happy with it, they're not sick. And they say, yeah, and it's cheap, it's free. But they freeload off our innovation. But we're for America's fractional free market system, and we don't have a free market system here.

Insurance companies pay, the Medicare and insurance companies pay $7 out of $8. But we at least have some, and that's why it costs more here. But it's the best here, and they copy us. Okay, but do you have any, I know that took out a little bit of your lung, but your heart is still all there, right, John? So let me ask you this. Did you write that one today?

So, does it... Would this offend you? Some sort of catastrophic health insurance such that it wouldn't be that the people who have money who can afford insurance don't go bankrupt when they get sick, and the people who had no money to afford the insurance do lose everything when they get sick.

Like above $10,000 or $20,000, some number that people carry on their credit cards. It won't ruin them. Would you object to government stepping in at that point with some kind of safety net? I'm a pure libertarian, so I object to government stepping in on anything but pollution control and keeping the peace. But look, that's a totally reasonable argument. Though people would say, $10,000, that's too high. Most Americans have no savings. They can't pay that. You've got to make it $2,000. And then it just becomes another smothering government system. Yeah, inevitably it would grow. You're right. But I think that, you know, and I know you agree with this too, at the same time, you wonder why is it that a cell phone, which

used to cost thousands of dollars... Remark it. which used to cost thousands of dollars. Free market. Yeah. That's not technology any different than medical technology. Yet it becomes basically almost free over time, where medical technology, some of that technology is 30 years old, like MRIs. It's still very, very expensive. So that's the lack of a free market being able to affect prices. Well, it may be.

But at $20,000 or $30,000 of people spending their own money, I think you would bring a lot of market incentives into play. Medical savings accounts and high deductible policies would be a big improvement. Yeah, I agree with that. There's still a motivation to innovate because a company that makes a better MRI is going to sell more MRI machines, whether or not it's being paid for by the government or by the private sector. But it takes them 10 years to get it approved and costs a billion dollars.

It slows things down. I would imagine they have contracts with whoever. When they make an MRI machine, you have contracts with the hospitals and whatnot. I would assume they just say, we've got a new improved MRI and some hospitals buy them. You mean like a limiting contract? You can only buy my MRIs? Well, I mean, there's always kickbacks and there's always people getting something for something. I don't know about that.

No, but the thing is... Brian, you may be right. Brian did a great job warming up the audience of my TV show. I have to say that. He was always, like, invading people's sex lives. Was I?

Yeah. So are you here? Are you dating? Do you know this guy? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely.

Did you find that when you saw him the other... We were here a couple weeks ago with Memory Serves, and you saw Ryan perform here. Did you feel that his performance here was like his performance warming up for your show? Or does he do a little bit differently? No, a lot of it, though, he did more of a stand-up comedy routine for my show because it was just Ryan until I came out.

Here he was introducing comics. Someday I'll come back and see his show. Did you like the show? Yes, very much. So if you were in full John Stossel consumer advocate mode, you know, you wouldn't say... A plus. You wouldn't have said,

they call it a comedy club, comedy. But you got the intonation right. I'm trying to do your voice um so you enjoyed the show that's good we're getting some you know we got uh geraldo rivera's daughter with i shouldn't say that but anyway let's do it so let's let's talk about vices so working backwards so recently the the head of the uh the owner of the new england patriots was a was he arrested or is he going to be arrested for frequenting a massage parlor and the first thing that occurred to me was

there's nothing that makes me more angry than people who've obviously committed a crime going out and arresting people for that crime that's what Spitzer was locking up the prostitutes special place in hell for that and don't tell me all

the cops and all these dudes who are out there doing this haven't been to massage parlors. But on the other hand, so there's an inclination to say, well, it should just be free market. But on the other hand, you want... Once you're an adult. Once you're an adult. But I worry about this sex trafficking.

Would the free market get rid of the sex trafficking, these Chinese sex trafficking? I mean, that's a real evil that they're trying to catch there, right? But you didn't announce the title of this topic that I wrote. What is it? Before the show, I wrote a list of topics. Each topic had a title. What is it? This title was Handicraft.

Billionaire Robert Kraft accused of paying for sexual services at Florida Spa. So what do you feel about that, John? It should be legal if some old guy wants to get a happy ending in a massage place. And the sex trafficking is what the police and the advocates use to say this has to be stopped. But Elizabeth Nolan Brown in Reason Magazine has written very convincingly that a lot of what they call sex trafficking is just prostitution. It's girls who want to make money this way, and we allow boxers to make money with their bodies. Why can't a woman rent her body out if she wants to? If they are genuinely being forced, that's evil and wrong and ought to be prosecuted.

But my understanding is that's evil and wrong and ought to be prosecuted, but my understanding is that's rare. I mean, think what it would take to get someone from China all the way to Jupiter, Florida, to work in this shopping mall and go walk around for lunch and she never escapes? I mean, maybe, maybe she's...

Well, but that's what we prosecute, not the act of prostitution, but the slavery aspect of it. I mean, there can be slaves working at Chinese restaurants being busboys. We wouldn't make Chinese restaurants illegal. We would crack down on the exploitation of the workers, but not the act of eating, say, General Tso's chicken or what have you. But they arrest the prostitutes. Sex workers, I prefer.

Well, um, yeah, so... I mean, can you believe they're arresting people for going to massage parlors? It's nuts. Well, food for thought. You can just walk down the street here and find a whole number of them. Well, as they say, people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, so I'm not about to condemn Robert Kraft for doing... In fact, I lost my virginity at a massage parlor.

I don't know if the woman was trafficked or not. But you don't own the Patriots. Couldn't this guy just get a private? Why go to a massage parlor? Some people are into weird things. Trump likes Big Macs. You remember you... But he's not eating at McDonald's.

He gets it delivered to the White House. You remember you, Grant, got a prostitute off the street. Yeah, that was weird. That was a back alley. That was private. But that's the thrill, isn't it? I mean, it's easy to just call a prostitute and get her to go to your hotel room. Part of the

thrill is to go and be a little bit... Or maybe he justified it. I'm not going to a hooker. I'm just getting a massage. Ooh, what a surprise. That's another thing. I think John's got it. I think John's got it. I think John has got it. All these great minds here.

And nobody figured out. It is not the same. It feels relatively innocuous, to be fair. What's that? I mean, who cares? I suspect that a guy in his position is afraid to hire actually a high-end prostitute because he'd rather go somewhere where he figures a bunch of Asian women from China don't even know who he is.

He'd like to be anonymous, just go in and out, and not have somebody catch him. Didn't turn out very well. What about the notion that this man is 77 years old and still horny? And I think we should applaud that. And I think, you know, that this should be something Yes, older people are going out there

and doing stuff. Is anybody with me on this? I am impressed and encouraged by that kind of libido at 77 years old. Screw all of you. I'm 71 and we're not dead yet. And that's what I...

Well, that's the point that I'm trying to make, is that we need to reevaluate how we think of people in their 70s. You're an optimist. These are vibrant people that can do anything we can do. There's a bright side to being 70. You still gotta go to a hooker.

Well, you know, he to a hooker. Well, you know, he has a hot girlfriend, too, that she's about 35, 40. She must be pissed. How much do you think he tipped? I want to know what it cost. They said it was like 35 for half an hour, 70 for an hour

or something like that. That feels like the going rate. Well, that's not... When I did it, when I lost my virginity... Like a regular massage? Not in Chinatown. It's like, for a regular massage, like 90 bucks at Equinox. When you lost your virginity...

Right, in Chinatown, it's like 35. And you can probably get a happy ending at like a lot of those places. Well, how would you know, Perrielle, about getting a happy ending? Well, I had one, but not here. I had one in Thailand, in Bangkok. I didn't know that it was popular with women.

She's an outlier. It must be, because I can't imagine I'm the first girl she tried that with. But did you know, going in, you thought you were going to get a regular massage, or you knew going in that you would get a happy ending? No, I didn't know that. I mean, you know, I can't say that I was wholly shocked when it happened, but...

Would you do it again? Did she ask you or did it just start to go... No, she didn't ask me. Also, I don't think she spoke English. I was in like a very fancy hotel in Thailand a long time ago.

Would I do it again? Well, if I weren't married, let's say, for the record. Yeah, sure, why not? I'm going to go out on a limb here and say your husband wouldn't mind. Maybe. Why would he not? I second that. Alright, so since Dan

wrote some topics here, this is quite good, Dan. It ain't easy being green. Dianne Feinstein confronts school children demanding a green new deal. My way or the highway, don't work with Diane. I'm speaking too loud, I'm sorry. So, go ahead. I know John has strong opinions about global warming.

It's just stupid. It's just useless and unaffordable. Look, global warming may the globe is warming, it's definitely true. Man probably plays a part. A lot of serious people are genuinely worried about it. The stuff they're talking about will cost all the money in the world and make no difference.

So there's no way to end it. You believe that it's happening. There's just nothing we can do to stop it. In 10 years, there may be technology, if we're rich enough to pay for it, to stop it then. Or natural forces may occur that slow it down. Climate changes, always has, always will. Maybe with more heat, more water will evaporate, more water vapor, more clouds, maybe that'll reduce the warming. Nobody knows, but we definitely know spending a fortune on windmills,

which massacre birds, use a lot on windmills, which massacre birds, use a lot of fossil fuels to make them, and then schlep them across the country and assemble them, take up huge amounts of space, and then they don't produce any energy when there's no wind. It's just useless. Now, I'm going to ask

you, would you have used the word schlep on your Channel 2 show? No. So, okay, so tell me if this is correct. I'm a comedy seller. If this is correct or not. From what we know, the United States could drop off the face of the Earth,

go down to zero carbon production, and the scientists who believe in this, I think I believe in it, would say that China and India alone are the tipping point. It doesn't help anything if the United States shuts down completely. Is that correct? Yes, but my daughter's ex-boyfriend would say, but we have to set the example. If we do it, eventually other countries will do what we do.

That's horrible thinking. You agree with that? Yeah, because first of all... And she dumped the boyfriend, so it's worked out. It's such a misunderstanding of human nature, and especially the nature of dictatorships, to think that China, of all places, is ever going to care less. They'll pocket that advantage all the way to the bank.

You agree, right? They're not going to stop less. They'll pocket that advantage all the way to the bank. You agree, right? They're not going to stop because America does it. So, I know, Perrielle, you're far left on this. What am I missing? I mean, I think that the climate is changing at an alarming rate, according to scientists. But if the United States

doesn't figure in, if the other countries of the world, the developing nations of the world... According to... Well, who's saying that, though? Everywhere I've read has said that. They want air conditioning. They want cars. I want air conditioning and cars.

I'll stop using straws, but I want air conditioning and cars. All right. China is building a coal plant every week. Coal. Ryan Reese, you say say on this question? I say global warming. I actually have sat in enough on Stossel's shows that I now share his opinion. Oh, I love hearing that.

You don't believe in global warming? No, I do, but it's not man-made. Are we contributing to it? Yes. Aren't there redundant cycles that are occurring right now that increase the global warming, like the melting of the permafrost in Alaska, which is releasing methane gas into the atmosphere. That's already happening.

We're not going to stop that. What, are you an expert? No, this is all part of it. He's wearing a suit jacket. He must know what he's talking about. That was on my show. I wasn't listening. Yeah, well, I mean, it's a part of it.

So the point is that the domino has already been knocked over, and now the Earth is warming, and that's what it's doing. It's in a warming cycle. We're not going to stop it. It's happening. It was warming from the year 1200, long before we were barfing out all that carbon dioxide. Well, I'm not saying we created it.

I'm sure we contribute to it. Okay, but let's take, I mean, there's a conservative adage, plan for the worst, the best takes care of itself. Let's assume, for the sake of argument, that the worst case is true and that it is man-made warming. Okay. What would a rational person do in that situation? It seems to me the rational thing right now would be build nuclear power plants as fast as we possibly can, because we have that. It works.

Am I wrong about that? No, but the Green New Deal wackos don't want nuclear either. Which implies to me that they're not quite serious, because if you believe civilization is in the balance and you have one technology now, which really can change that momentum, and you don't want to embrace it and you want to hold out for something that may or may,

it's like waiting for a cure for cancer. When we were young, we were told like 10 years, I'll have a cure for cancer. Here we are 50 years later, they still haven't got it. They may never actually figure out how to replace fossil fuels

with solar farms. They may not. Right? So why are they not? I mean, the no nukes movement is responsible for this in a certain way. In the 70s, no nukes was it 70s, late 70s? That was bombs. No, no.

Three Mile, well, Three Mile wasn't no nukes. What was it called? The Three Mile Island. After Three Mile Island, there was all kinds of protests against nuclear power. Right. So you're right. The no nukes was the bombs, but there all kinds of protests against nuclear power. So you're right. The no nukes was the bombs, but there wasn't a name for that. But anyway, that movement killed nuclear power.

It's just fear of the unknown. It's radioactivity. Where are we going to put the spent fuel rods? They have a plan of a mountain in Nevada, but we have to truck them there. It's dangerous. But everything is dangerous. Shipping oil is dangerous. Life is dangerous. And nuclear is the best option if you want to stop producing greenhouse gases. Right. So it's just stunning to me that the people who claim that they're the most serious about saving the planet are not calling for nuclear power.

Some of them are. Not the ones we hear on the news. Not AOC. Not the ones who are getting with the megaphone. Probably the smart pencil neck ones, but it's not the politicians. And in New York, they're banned fracking for natural gas, which is better than the alternatives. And they're closing down the nuclear power plant. They're supposed to.

We'll see if they do it once they actually are told that, gee, New York's going to have blackouts if you do that. I bet they chicken out. Cuomo will chicken out. Cuomo as well. What did you think about Amazon being turned away? It's wrong that if you're a big company, you can come in and say, give me special deals. It ought to be a level playing field

for everybody. But it wasn't like they were giving Amazon all this money. Amazon was going to create a lot of money and pay lower taxes. It would have been a win. I kind of like it because it's woken up a lot of money and pay lower taxes. It would have been a win. I kind of like it because it's woken up a lot of people about how destructive the left can be, taking away jobs, taking away opportunity. I agree with you very much. It did seem like all of a sudden it drove a wedge within that side of the aisle where Cuomo was really blasting these new Democrats as being naive or whatever it is.

But how do the people feel? How do the Democratic people feel about Amazon? I feel like they're okay with it. I feel like they view Amazon as an intruder into their community. I don't think so. I think almost most... I'm sure there are polls on it. I think most people say,

what the hell were they doing? Were they chasing out? I mean, I'm sure there are polls on it. I think most people say, what the hell were they doing? You're chasing out. I mean, if the future doesn't, if the future is not going to happen in New York, it will gladly happen somewhere else. It's astonishing to think that we wouldn't want it in New York. Retail is ending. I mean, this is the future. It's like as if Detroit at some point had decided that they didn't want the automotive industry or Hollywood didn't want the motion picture industry. This is the future. It's like as if Detroit at some point had decided that they didn't want the automotive industry or Hollywood didn't want the motion picture industry. This is the future.

Amazon and, of course, Amazon starts and then a center grows and then other people move to be close to that. And before you know it, that industry is centered largely in New York. And now maybe it's going to be Newark. And just to break it down into some pieces, it's one thing to say we don't want it, and fewer people said that, but it seems okay to say we don't want Amazon

to get a special break other businesses don't get. I think if they had taken the break away, I mean, I did a little bit of the math, I don't remember it now, but that break is minuscule to Amazon's balance sheet over the 25 years or 30 years that that tax break was happening. I think that Bezos got the better of Cuomo in the negotiation, but I have to believe he wanted to be in New York with or without that $3 billion over 25 years. And if they had said, listen, we'll take you in with open arms, we'll do everything to help you, but we can't give you the tax break,

I can't believe that would have been enough for him to go somewhere else. The moment I loved was, you know, you can argue about the tax break, but the idiots in the New York City Council, which has got to be the most destructive body, political body in much of the world, saying, well, we demand that you will accept and not fight unionization. In other words, we demand that you will let us run your company and make the rules.

And they said, no, fuck you. And God bless them for saying that. Well, you know, you never run a restaurant in New York. In New York, it's not just the city council. We have community boards, which is a bunch of, I don't mean to be disparaging, dottering old ladies with nothing to do on their hands, but to scrutinize everything. And so we have a kitchen right behind this wall. We did a

renovation here and we moved the wall, I don't know, like five feet to the east. We were held up in bureaucratic red tape for about six months. The community board had to decide whether it was okay because we're a landmark building. And literally they have the power, if they want to, to stop me from moving internally in my own place a wall. And it adds probably $100,000 to the, or maybe $200,000 to the cost of the renovation because we were shut down for six months. We were just discussing this earlier, how Noam renovated the kitchen, put hundreds of

thousands of dollars into expanding the kitchen, and we still don't have a fish dish. We do. We have salmon. Oh, yeah, we do. But we don't have specials. And what about the late night breakfast menu, you promised? We're going to get to that. But anyway, so yeah, it is. But just adding to that, you know, government, these local community boards, they mean well. They're not evil.

They really think they're doing something good. But look at the wealth that was created by Microsoft and Facebook and Google, Silicon Valley. You think it's an accident that it happened to the metropolitan area as farthest from Washington, D.C.? No, I don't think so. It was permissionless innovation, and that's the best of life. Isn't San Francisco very liberal, though? But they didn't know what was going on. They weren't there saying, no, Facebook, you can't allow people to connect this way.

They just didn't know that this growth was happening. I believe that most of the great innovation like Bill Gates in his garage or Thomas Edison, most of that would all be illegal today. You could not putter around and start a little business in your garage and sell computers with the licensing. Violence, the licensing. Violence zoning rules. Yeah, let alone Thomas Edison. Imagine Thomas Edison's lab. It's a... How about this parallel? Why did Japan

and Germany prosper so much after World War II? In the 50s and 60s, people were saying, wow, they're going to clean our clocks. Maybe it was the 70s. It was because we had bombed them as smithereens and all their guilds and little political groups were

destroyed and they had to start over. And that freedom allowed them to prosper. Yeah, I agree. Not that that's a good remedy. Well, that's the thing. The anti-capitalists, what they do is, I mean, you've got to feel sorry for them because they know nothing. But what they do is they pocket

all the gains of capitalism, which is everything, the most amazing things, you know, and they think that's like the starting line. And then they look for like capitalism is horrible with almost like idiots. Like, don't you understand that everything you have, the supercomputer in your pocket,

all of it, everything about your wonderful life is only because of capitalism. Just look anywhere where they don't have capitalism. What I'm saying is trite, right? But it escapes the understanding of the average person under 30. Bernie was on Twitter ranting about some drug company that was raising the price of their drug. And, all right, Bernie, but, you know, they came up with that drug, so why not praise them for that as opposed to lambasting them

for charging a price that you don't agree with? But there have been some horrible stories of raising drugs which were affordable to hundreds of thousands of dollars a dose or something like that. The EpiPen? For starters. Yeah, but the EpiPen, her father was a Democratic senator or something like that. Not even a Republican when she doubled the price.

What's the EpiPen? Is that that pen that has five different colors? No, it's like if you go into anaphylactic shock. I was thinking of that rocket pen. It saves your life. It's just like a shot of adrenaline. It's not that pen, Dan. But that's also an innovation. My ideology is not pure. My ideology is polluted because I do bend on those extremes

where poor people's life and health are implicated. And what about like e-drugs? But it's the tone that Bernie and a lot of people use where the corporations are the enemy. If you want to say, hey, let's talk about these prices, that's one thing, but I feel like he's stirring up hatred toward innovators, lambasting billionaires. Well, that's right. He never says a word about, isn't it, what a coincidence it is that all these innovations happen in America.

Like he never deems to comment on that or integrate that in some way into his worldview. He'll just focus on the excess, and he'll throw the baby out with the bath water happily, I believe. But he's kind of an idiot too, right? Who would you vote for, Trump or Bernie? Or say whatever you want them to say.

Trump or Bernie, those are the choices. Trump, but... That's like Sophie's choice. That may be the choice. guy. Oh, God, that's like Sophie's choice. That may be the choice. That may well be the choice. That is Sophie's choice. Well, the most reliable predictor of future events is the people who put their money where their mouths are. They bet, and that's illegal because stupid Republicans have banned it in America.

But in Europe, it's legal, and there's a tiny betting site in America that's... InTrade? Is that what it's called? Well, InTrade went out of business. That was based in Ireland. There's something called PredictIt.com. But the most you can bet is $800, so it's not that accurate. And in the race, the number one Democratic candidate is not Bernie. It's who?

Kamala? Kamala Lala? Yes. 13's who? Kamala. Kamala. Yes. 13 percent. Bernie's at nine point nine percent. Biden, nine point one percent. Did Kamala. That will change if Biden gets in the race, though.

Is a reparations officially a part of Kamala's platform? I mean, I know she had mentioned that she's not ruling it out. What do you think of a reparations? Well, look, I mean, what happens when we give the reparations, and there's still problems, and there's still racial division, and there's still resentment? Full disclosure, I have a black stepson, so the reparations wouldn't be the worst thing for the Dwarven household, but I'll try to view it objectively.

I don't know that your children, according to Century 21, or what's that called again? 21 and 23 and me. They're only about 10% African American. Whoa, whoa. 1 32nd African American. I'm talking about Nicholas. I'm talking about... Oh, Nicholas, okay.

Your stepson. Well, he might stand to benefit. Look, I... Personally, I wouldn't yell and scream in protest. If they want to give reparations, fine. I don't think it's the answer. And when the reparations don't create the society that we want, then what?

How about reparations for all the women who were discriminated against? Well, take it easy, John. I think four white males are the perfect people to be talking about reparations for blacks well we have Keith is right behind John I don't know if he wants to

yes but she is a white woman sort of so this is what I think wait I have a question do you believe in reparations for holocaust survivors well for the very people that lost property is it different than having than slavery There is a difference between the person

who did the harm making amends to the person who was harmed, as opposed to the people who happen to be the same color who did the harm, making amends to the same people, having the same color people were harmed. But having said that, there is a logic to reparations,

which is that at that time, those black people who were slaves were morally owed and if that debt is not extinguished through any kind of statute of limitations, conceivably it was passed on to generation to generation

like a chip and now people alive today have the right to collect it, and that logic is somehow legitimate to me. There are tremendous practical problems like, how do you, there's so many black people who are not descendants of slaves, there are black people who own slaves,

there's... I'll be at very few. But, but, uh, most, but there's a lot of black people... A lot of African slavery. Yeah. Well, but in America, I of black people. A lot of black, a lot of African slavery. Yeah. Well, but in America, I'm saying. But what I think they are not thinking about is that once you pay somebody a check, psychologically, like, okay, here's your check.

We're done. You're whole. I don't owe you anything else. And I feel like once they give everybody black a $10,000 check or whatever it is, white America will cynically then say, and now we don't want to hear your belly aching anymore because we paid you what you're owed. That will be the argument. And I think in the end, that will actually snap back and be detrimental to the black community. Maybe I'm wrong.

And I think you're wrong. Perrielle and her group will say $10,000 wasn't enough. You made a mistake. You've got to do more. Periel and her group. And her group of Chinatown prostitute massage parlors. But he's right. So you want to give reparations to African Americans. What about

to the American Indians? Yeah, they also deserve a whole hell of a lot. Okay. But look, we've given reparations to American Indians. No group has been more helped by the U.S. government, and no group does worse. Small groups of Indians that didn't stay with their tribal management, they're doing as well as the rest of the culture. But on Indian reservations, getting huge amounts of handouts,

there's high alcoholism, drug abuse, horrible conditions. Same with American blacks. Blacks from the West Indies and Nigeria thrive in America. They do better than whites. But American blacks have been told, you're a victim, you deserve reparations,

you have no chance, and American blacks have not done as well. I do feel we should bring Keith in, given the racial nature of this conversation. Keith, do you have any comment on reparations? Too many white people over here, Keith. We're talking about reparations.

Yeah, we need them. Because Dan wants to hear, for some reason, Dan thinks that five white guys shouldn't talk about reparations. I believe I made that point. Dan's a, Dan's a, Keith, this is John Stossel. You recognize him from TV? Hi, Keith.

Just for us new people, who is Keith? He's a comedian. Keith Robinson. Yeah, he worked with Geraldo back in the day. Yeah. I've been mistaken for him. Yeah, you look a little bit like him. All right, so what do you think about reparations?

Who should get them? What do you think? How much? Do you think you deserve reparations? Absolutely. What do you think? Go ahead. Absolutely.

Black people should get reparations. We really should. A lot of people have gotten money for, you know, the Indians get their fair share. Native Americans. Native, whatever. Come on, they know what I mean. The Native Americans get their fair share of reparations.

And I think, you know, everybody. We should get ours. What about women? John Sossel made a point about women. Women, yes. Women, too. Just very little, though. As long as they're lower than men. 70 cents on the dollar? How about short people?

No, no short people. How about the Irish? Irish, no. Irish are treated badly, but not by government. Keith, Noam is afraid that once we give reparations, white people are going to say to themselves, okay, debt is paid, that's it, and time to move on. Reparations don't work like that. It just doesn't work like that.

So Kevin Hart's got to get a check? No. Kevin Hart is a millionaire. So reparations to everybody above a certain amount of money? I mean, reparations is more or less like the Native Americans got casinos and all that kind of stuff. Black people need something like that. A business that they can

that should be theirs to make money off of for the whole. As a whole. We need to get some shit. Am I right? You haven't made this kind of sense since the time you told me that OJ didn't do it.

No. I'm back on. Jesse Smollett. Oh, Jesse Smollett. No, but yeah, I think that reparations is good. And to balance the playing field. Yeah, honestly, I think there is a rationale that I can't totally puncture, but I don't think it'll balance any playing field. The money will get squandered.

Whoa, you're saying we're not good? You're saying it's going to be – No, I'm saying we could never afford – maybe I'm wrong. Enough money that could really change a person. It's not going to be a million dollars a person. No. Maybe it would be. I don't know what it would be, but I think it should be

they can come up with something. If we can find some money for that stupid wall that Trump wants, we can give reparations out. How can you argue with that, John? Do you see reparations? That's logic. Do you see reparations, Keith?

Keith, do you see reparations more as a means to uplift the black see reparations more as a means to uplift the black community financially or more as a symbolic gesture so that white America finally says we're sorry in a sincere way? Well, that's not even saying you're sorry. It's what's owed.

We helped build this motherfucker. Can I say it like that? Make it really plain and simple? Yeah, yeah. So I think that's what's owed. And why do we owe it to you? Best I can tell, we got three Jews here, an Irish guy, and none of us enslaved anybody. That's the perfect thing every white guy would say to him. We didn't do that.

No, I disagree with him. That's the perfect white guy answer. Can I answer the question? Well, that's Keith's strategy. Because when he's trying to think of an answer, he'll just attack your column. Let me attempt to answer it for you. The United States is an entity and it owes its debt. And the same way that if you're an immigrant to this country, you pay into our trillion dollar national debt, whatever it is. You inherit that

debt. You had nothing to do with it when you land here. And the United States of America as a whole owes this debt. And that exists beyond anybody's lifetime. That's my If the United States of America owes the debt. Logical argument. It's logical. John actually conceding that point. If the United States of America

owes the debt, then that means Black America owes the debt too. So Kevin Hart will also pay for these reparations. That's right United States of America owes the debt, then that means Black America owes the debt, too. So Kevin Hart will also pay for these reparations. That's right. And Black America owes the debt, too, to the extent that the rich people will pay the taxes. So Kevin Hart might get a check, but he'll also pay taxes, and he'll pay a

lot more in taxes than the check that he gets. Okay. Yeah, because Black people have benefited. Kevin Hart owes me a big check. Kevin Hart has publicly said that Keith was his mentor in comedy. That's cool. Kevin Hart would be in Philadelphia right now working at Denny's. And that and some reparations will get you a MetroCard.

Did you teach him the homophobic stuff? Oh. See, I don't even believe in that. That word is used to, you know, they weaponize that word too much. Yes. Go ahead, say. Well, I'm saying Kev was evidently playing when he said, I'll smash a dollhouse over his head.

Everybody's homophobic. It's messing up the whole gay community. If Kevin Hart's smashing an imaginary dollhouse over his son's head, messing up the whole gay community's thing, then it's kind of weak. They got to get stronger then. You know, really.

But that had nothing to do with that. He was playing around and they should move on from that. But they look for anything to you know. Actually, I think they were actually pretty, I mean, I don't think he got that much grief actually from the gay community, did he? No, yeah, no. Maybe on Twitter, but Twitter was such a distorted snapshot.

No, what happened was, what happened was, like he said it, like, well, he apologized for it. And they went on Ellen. Yeah. So the black gay community got on and said, Ellen, mind your white-ass business. We got this. And then they started giving it to her. And, you know, but I just think that Kev, I know it's not in his heart to be against gay people or anything like that. And I think I can say this. You'll agree.

The black community, more than any other community, has had the biggest change in the shortest amount of time in its feeling about homosexuality. When I was a musician and almost everybody in the band was black, this is like 20 years ago, I was always taken aback at how anti, anti-gay is the wrong word, but like you couldn't make any kind of gay joke or if somebody gay would get next to somebody, they would get them away from me, that kind of thing.

It was very different than the way I was raised. And now those same people, I'm still Facebook friends with them, are pro-gay marriage and fighting for gay rights. They've had a real change. I think Obama had a lot to do with that. Maybe. By the way, sorry, this is important as far as the seller's concerned. Jim Gaffigan's on stage right now. I see him on the monitor. He's never here. No, he's not.

What the hell's he doing here? We don't care, Dan. I think that's interesting. He's never here. I don't care. Who's here? that's interesting. He's never here. I don't care. Who's here? So this is with Kevin Hart. Kevin Hart came up, and he might also be part of that transformation.

Kevin is younger. He's younger. So he's like 39, 40. He's still old enough. So to be homophobic. He's still old enough to have been raised before the black community embraced that. But I don't think it was like that with him. We all played with each other.

With me, it was. We used to chase guys down the street and all that. That was in the 70s. And, you know, the more you get around folks, the more you understand that they're just like anybody else. Chase them down the street and do what?

Just beat them up. What I got to point it out to you? Yeah, I just wanted to be clear. We chase them down for a kiss. No. But we were, you know, we were young, dumb, and that's what we did back then. So now, you know, with being around gay people and all that, the more you're around them, the more you understand that, okay, nothing's different.

Do you understand that the concept of young and dumb doesn't even exist anymore? No. Which is horrible, right? But that's what I'm saying, that people can't forgive people for stuff that they say. Because I know people who were once gay, I mean, who wasn't gay gay and turned gay, but they were just as homophobic as anybody else. Oh, but they were pretending. Yes. Yeah.

Just for the, you know, so, you know, people make mistakes and people are allowed to make mistakes. Sorry, that's the way it is. That's the way, as Earth, Wind & Fire would say, that's the way of the world. Ah. But shouldn't there be reparations? Shouldn't those gay guys all gather together and beat you up? You know what? You may be right.

I think, yes. That's a good one. Yeah. No, but, you know, that was the neighborhood at the time. But, you know, that was way in the 70s. Yeah. So now, you know, as you go along, as you go along, and, like, my good friend Wanda, who's gay.

And wasn't gay when we first met. Right. She was, but we didn't know it, and she didn't know it. Being around all our friends and stuff like that, I'm like, oh, man. Ooh. You know, you get to be around people and you learn better and you do better. Right. And that's what happens.

But everybody don't, people don't give people a chance to say that because that damn social media. Well, what did you think about Liam Neeson saying about, went around looking for a black man to. He said what he did. Look. But you would forgive him for that. Absolutely. When Roots was on, when Roots came on and would forgive him for that? Absolutely. When Roots was on, when Roots came on, and we was in Easton, Maryland, and we caught this little white kid, and we made him be like,

he said, come here, what's your name, boy? And he said, what? My name is Jimmy. And I said, no, no, say Toby. And we just beat this white boy up for saying it. So we went around looking for a white guy. And he wasn't even gay. Yeah. Well, we't even gay. Yeah.

Well, we made him gay. No. But, you know, we wouldn't beat him up. Just like that. We did. I think that there's a lot of young kids who don't have experience in life that always just like the little kids that was talking to Dianne Feinstein. Yeah. They don't have no experience.

They don't know what she knows. She's telling them, you don't know nothing You gotta grow a little bit Which was kind of what Louis was getting at When he made that joke With other kids Kids don't know nothing The little girl's like

We voted for you She said hold to you I'm 16 you didn't vote for me I loved it It was great for you. She said, hold to you. I'm 16. You didn't vote for me. I loved it. It was great. I always actually had a soft spot for Dianne Feinstein. I don't like her general policies, but she seemed

to have moments of clarity on national security and certain things. She had a thing. They were talking like, we're just money. She says, too much. It costs too much. What are you talking about?

I've been doing this 30 years. But, you know, as a kid, we was always taught to respect our elders. And these little kids are going at Dianne Feinstein. It's like they're equal. You're not. Well, you know, they are scared for their future. Like, we used to be scared about the Russians bombing us, and we thought we'd all be incinerated. We were scared about another ice age, too, if you might recall.

But I wouldn't go to a grown old lady. Well, the teacher, I think, encouraged that. Well, the teacher was wrong. And the kids got what they deserved. So, John, we're almost out of time. What is on the top of your mind these days that you're discussing at the dinner table or whatever? What really gets you going? It can be comedy related.

I have to pick up on just some little leftovers from tonight. Please do. It was a real pleasure to join you guys. I'm real impressed. Dan made this list. Yes, he did. It's the first time he ever did. He followed it without even seeing it.

He just turned right to Dianne Feinstein and the kids, and there was something else on this list that Dan anticipated. But you were talking about the Indians and what they said and all the sensitivity. When people were talking about, do you call black people black or African American? And to me, as a guy on TV where time is limited, what's with the seven-syllable word? What's wrong with black? But I would discuss this with American Indians,

and they would say, what do you mean? I'm not an Indian. I'm not from India. Okay, sorry, Native Americans. I'm not an American. Indigenous people. Indigenous people. You can't win.

I hate getting tripped up on that, too. I was doing a podcast, and a girl was going over all the gender, and she was saying, well, non-binary. She was giving all the pronouns. She said, you got to know your pronouns. They, whatever, you know, all these names for gender. I'm like, Z, Zez. I, all these names for gender. I'm like. Z. Zez.

I'm not going to remember that. I'm just not going to. I'm not going. How about I treat you like I want to be treated and that'll be good enough. I can't remember. I'm not going to remember. They. Well, I don't know. I just, you know, and she, you know, she a little upset but

you know can you remember everything that everybody wants to be? No it's hard we talked about this before it's also hard and I don't know if you can actually get someone young to understand this it's hard to break out of these habits after

a certain age like it took a long time for me to get used to Asian as opposed to Oriental. Oriental was just... How old are you? Really? 56. I never used that word. I never used the word Oriental. You're younger. You're in your 30s, right? Yeah.

So when we were kids, there was only one word. And it was actually more precise. It was Oriental, which meant descendants of China. And every Asian business had the word Oriental in its name. They still do, actually, in Chinatown. It was Oriental. And then one day,

we were no longer allowed to say Oriental. It had to be Asian. And people would slip up, especially people, all our grandparents would slip up. And then Asian people would be furious. I remember I had a waitress one time in tears, Hope, in tears, because a customer referred to her as the Oriental waitress.

And I was trying to explain to her, Hope, he didn't mean anything. It was never an insult. It's not an analog to the N-word. It was the only word. And these patterns, it's hard to break out of them. So you think that what you're saying is, so if I forget to say they,

eventually... It's never going to roll off your tongue. Is that something, is that the same, is that in the same league as Oriental? Yes, because our kids, if they grow up, it will be natural to them, and they'll get the pronouns right, and good, because we want people to be happy with the way they're referred to.

Wow. But the— What if they want to be called your royal highness? Well, within reason. But the nastiness, really, the pleasure that people take in catching you saying the wrong word, knowing that you have no bad intentions, but just wanting to hang you up on the fact that you got it wrong, I think is what we're all

disgusted by. Like, alright, you know, I'm Jewish, if somebody gets... My wife, that's my wife over there, the hot one over there, when I met her... Which hot one? The one on the left. The one in the...

When I met her, she would say... She'd say, I went down to the Canal Street. I got a leather jacket. I jewed them down. And I'd say, honey, you're not supposed to say jewed them down. She's like, I'm crazy. Like, why? She's Puerto Rican.

She grew up with, like... That's what they said. Now, I never... I'd be a crazy person to take offense to it because obviously she didn't mean any offense to it. In my channel two days as a consumer reporter, I would sometimes say, this store gypped the person.

Oh, that's right. And the gypsies came at me. That's right. I just found that out recently, that gyp was... I didn't know that was a gypsy. Oh, really? Yeah. Wow. Well, also Welshing, I think, is from the Welsh people. Like a Welsh on a bed. I think that it's, at least I read somewhere.

There's so much stuff that you don't know. To do with Welshing, with the Welsh people. You know, the way you explained it with the they and all that is very important because maybe it will get to a time where people will actually know the pronouns. Yeah. But it's just not right now. I'm, you know.

There's a certain period of development where language is ingrained, imprinted in your brain. And if you get it to them at that time, it'll be second nature to them, I believe. I'm no scientist, but I think so. But it's very hard when you're in your 40s or 50s to start using a pronoun that you've never used before. It takes a long time. And people need some margin for error, I think. So now my wife says,

chewed them down. I have trouble explaining to her why that's not okay. She says it with a wink. Is that like the N word with the A at the end? Yeah, which is a little softer. Anyway, alright.

So we're out of time. Mrs. Stossel, honestly, by the way, those segments, were you and Riley friends at all? No. You were not friends. He didn't agree. He was not a libertarian. He was more of a populist, right?

Right. And a nasty, obnoxious guy. Who was this? Yes, he gave you a really good forum on his show. And he had you on again and again. Hey, he had a big audience and he would let me argue. I respect his skills, but he's just not my friend. Bill O'Reilly? Yeah, I respect.

See, I liked him. Yeah, he was a blowhard or whatever, but I respect him because he seemed to like to bring on his show smart people who disagreed with him. And he let them... Sometimes he wouldn't let people speak when they were being... kind of weren't obeying the rules of argumentation in a way.

But when somebody was within the rails, I think he would let them speak. I felt he always let you speak, even when he disagreed. A little bit. I wanted to argue drug legalization, and he never would do that. He was irrational on that, because I think it was Jon Stewart

actually one time debated that with him and tore him apart. It was one of the only times I saw O'Reilly truly not listening to reason at all. He was just made a fool, And then I think that's why he wouldn't argue it with you. I think he had gotten burned by that argument. Why are you laughing, Keith? You liked O'Reilly.

I liked O'Reilly. I hate Tucker Carlson. That's who I don't like. John likes him? Likes what? Tucker Carlson? Yeah. You like him? I like him. I don't agree with what he's doing lately about immigrants. And capitalism. He's trashing capitalism.

He's gone crazy, but I also like him. You know him personally? Yes. Are you for open borders? No. In theory, yes. But when we have a welfare state and some people want to freeload, and when other people want to murder us, you can't have open borders.

But you're not worried about the social fabric of having such a large number of people from one particular culture at a time when we don't emphasize the melting pot and any of that stuff? Any of those social issues, were you? I think we can handle it. We took many more immigrants in the early 1900s and taught them American values. Well, the mentality is the problem. It's the welfare state. Is there a state of emergency, yes or no?

No. No. Nobody thinks there's a state of emergency. Well, I don't know. I guess everybody can define an emergency in their own way, but not the way we typically use the word emergency. That is a dangerous power. It's not a state of emergency when you go,

I didn't really need to do this. Speaking of emergency, I don't know if we have time, but it's in the bag. That's the title of this next topic. Okay, do you have time for one more, John? Sure. Okay, go ahead. The comedy seller.

What do you mean you have time? This is like satellite radio. You can go as long as you want. Yeah, but the question is, does John Stossel have time? Go ahead. I'm here. It's in the bag. The comedy seller goes zero tolerance.

He wants another drink. Victoria, can you get him another, whatever he's drinking? Thank you. Now, John, can you get him another, whatever he's drinking? Thank you. Now, John, here at the Comedy Cellar, obviously, you're not allowed to use cell phones during the show. So up until now, we've had our bouncers keeping an eye out, and it was zero tolerance. If you were caught using your cell phone, you'd be thrown out.

We've gone one step further here at the Comedy Cellar. Now, before the show, everybody puts their cell phone in a padded envelope, which is sealed and not open until after the show. This policy is about two weeks old, Noam? Yes, it is, Dan. And how are you, this is sort of trial period. And how have you evaluated so far the efficacy of the policy? I'll say this's see real fast.

Before you say that, like when I would... Efficacy means how is it working. I got it. Dating a girl, right? Dating a girl always had a policy of having two phones. One phone being a decoy phone. Right, the burner phone. So I could take my phone that I need to show her

and put it in the bag. Yes, you could. And seal it. But I always had that other phone. So a lot of people have two phones. Okay, Noam,

what do you say to that? What if somebody has two phones, one goes in the bag, one goes in the envelope, the other stays with them? Listen, I felt that because a number of prominent

comedians had made it clear to me that they would like us to bag the phones. There's these yonder bags that are going around, but that was really not going to work because That's the bag that locks. Yeah, because it takes so long to unpack the phones

that we would have lost a whole show because each one is magnetic and also it would take three people per show and it would have been literally hundreds of thousands of dollars I think to implement that so that wasn't going to work but maybe this will be interesting to John

but I use a management technique that has worked very well for me over the years which I told Liz and Tony, listen I don't want to hear, because they were telling me why you can't do what you can't. I said, I don't want to hear anymore. We have to figure this out. Come up with something. And I found that when you can convince people to not look for the way out, all of a sudden, ingenuity happens.

And they were talking about this, and they were going to go to Home Office Depot and look for other kinds of bags and whatever it is. And just then, Amazon delivered something in one of these white tamper-proof self-adhesive envelopes. And Tony said, why don't we use those envelopes? So sure enough, that's what we're doing. You can put many phones in at one time. And the beauty is that the customers

don't need us to open them. What's the cost to you, though? The envelope. Yeah, but you're doing us to open them. What's the cost to you, though? The envelope. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you're doing that for every show. You're doing what? Nine shows. There's a cost.

There's a real cost to it, but it's manageable. It's not. The cost is. I'm surprised there's not technology that would just jam everything in the room. Audio recording and video recording, I don't think that's out there. And it would probably interfere with the PA system. But no, and what about Keith's point about the second phone, or if somebody just says, I don't have a phone.

Well, okay, so the thing is that... If somebody really wants to do it, they're going to do it. To bootleg a show. What's interesting is that when Aziz did his show, his comeback show here, he had the yonder bags, the real ones, and he had everybody bagged and then

in the news the articles about the show they were quoting him they were quoting him at length there was a full paragraph so it was obvious that they had somehow recorded the show anyway

so of course there's all kinds of digital recorders eyeglass recorders wristwatch recorders if somebody really wants to do it they can do it

and I'm sorry to be dumb but what do you care if people record the show? And I assume you didn't want that the comedians don't want it because it's a distraction. Not just because it's just a distraction. Like Louis C.K. was working out new jokes in another comedy called Governors in Long Island. And somebody taped that thing and put it out there and Louis got in trouble for going after the kids in Parkland

for that. So that messed up his whole thing again. And plus material that he made on Netflix. Say you have a special coming out and somebody puts it out on YouTube or whatever, that's your money. And it's taken out of context as well.

A joke outside of a club just read in a paper is not a joke. It just seems like an offensive statement. Now, as an emcee, have you noticed any difference, Ryan, in the quality of the show with the new bag policy? Yeah, they're more attentive. Is that really true? Oh, yeah, absolutely. They're more attentive, but they're also more impatient.

You can see them start to twitch after a while. The show goes too long. You can start seeing them like they got the envelope, and they're like, impatient. You can see them start to twitch after a while. I was going to say, because I wouldn't be able to pay attention. The show goes too long, you can start to see them like they got the envelope, and they're like, all right, what's going on? It's an addiction. Yeah, I mean, I'm not happy that we have to do it, but we do have to do it. A modest proposal, no. Yeah. Well, they do it in L.A. They do it at the studios

in L.A. What is the studios? The Warner Brothers, Paramount, yeah, any of the studios, any of the sitcoms, they actually lock up the phone, so you can't get into a the studios, any of the sitcoms, they actually lock up the phone. So you can't get into a studio with a phone. But modest proposal, no. When they leave the show, they open their bag. Wouldn't it be nice if there was some candy,

maybe some Starburst fruit juice, maybe a coupon for a future show? So they open the bag, oh, look at this. We got some goodies, some parting gifts. A prize for one phone. It is a cute idea, but the labor of having somebody stuff all those envelopes and everything. So you're doing it mainly for the big comics, the bigger comics.

That's what you're mainly doing for. They're the ones who really care. You don't give a shit about the lower comics, do you? No, it's not that I don't give a shit. It's that nobody on the internet gives a shit. Hey, we got Keith Robinson's new thing. Six downloads. But no, and what I was going to do, actually, if this didn't work, was just keep the bags around

and literally just use them for the shows where somebody big came down. Or we could even hand them out during the show. Like, you know, it takes only a few minutes to bag up all the phones. I say, look, we have a special guest coming. We're going to hand out these bags. But the truth is, it's working very, very well by all accounts. And I've heard this over and over. I have to tell you, I'm skeptical of it.

But a lot of comedians are saying that the audiences are more attentive and so I feel good about it, you know, so we did it. And it wasn't, it was not your idea? It was from what I know, you know, it's funny. Chappelle, really, I think Chappelle came up with it. To use the

normal envelopes instead of the No, the only credit I can take for it is that I insisted that they figure it out. I said, go to Office Depot, look around. I had the idea of maybe getting bigger bags and they could put all the phones in one bag and have them at the table, whatever. We were

brainstorming, but Tony apparently, I think it was Tony who is our Mexican immigrant daytime operations manager who is just amazing. Is he legal? He is legal.

Now he is. It wasn't when he first started. But yeah, he's legal. And Tony came up with the idea. And then Liz came up with the idea of using it for a seating question. Anyway, yeah. Tony's...

And I came up with the idea for the Now and Laters the Now and Laters, by the Starburst alright, so anyway, Mr. Stossel I'm actually really really happy that you came and I'm a big admirer of yours and where do we hear you now? you have a podcast now? I make a video a week and you know

the normal Facebook, Twitter and all that getting more hits than I got on Fox and like this week's is on sugar subsidies, which is not good to talk about here. But it is good to talk about here. It would be more fun to talk about next week's, which is the hoax on the academic journals. Did you hear about that?

These three academics made up bullshit and submitted it to these academic journals. And if you're at an American college and you want tenure or promotion, you've got to publish in these journals. It's publisher-parent. And colleges have gone so far into the tank that the journals are often absurd. And so these people made up gibberish. And papers like, we examined the genitals of 10,000 dogs in Portland, Oregon dog parks to interpret what it meant for rape culture. That's a real one or you made that up?

That's a real one. And a journal, a prestigious journal, they didn't just go for the crap journals. The above average journal accepted it. Seven journals took their papers. They submitted 20. Others might have fallen for it. Seven journals took their papers. They submitted 20. Others might have fallen for it, but a Wall Street Journal reporter noticed the absurdity of the dog park paper and blew it by publishing a story about it. So what's going on in campuses that this stuff goes on? And afterward, are the journals apologetic?

Do editors resign in shame? Do the universities say, no, we're not going to use these journals for promotions? No. They're threatening to fire the hoaxers. Really? Yeah. So we can see this video on YouTube, on your channel, on YouTube? Right.

Just johnsossel.com. This one won't be on until next week, but that's where my stuff is these days. This is all a cousin of what you and I both believe, that unless somebody has very, very intimate skin in the game, they just become incompetent. Like, the people editing these

journals, they don't really give a shit what goes on. Well, they do. Men are evil. Whites are evil. But they're, they do. Men are evil. Well, right. Whites are evil. But they're reading it. No, no, no. Whites are evil. Whites are evil.

Absolutely. Thank you, Pete. One of the most profound lessons I've had in my life is we serve homeless here. And for 30 years, this has been the bane of my father before me, like getting the homeless to come out right with a, on a, with any kind of high batting average is a tremendous task. And you just imagine like, if I can't, and I, and I have an Ivy league education and I can't get the homeless to come out right in a predictable basis, how could any big organization or big government ever do anything. Like, my livelihood really

depends on the hummus. And still I can't get it right. Can you imagine if I hired some bureaucrat to be in charge of implementing hummus for the United States of America? I mean, it's so absurd, but that's what liberals will actually think is doable. Why does it gotta be liberals and right wing? Because that's a liberal

point of view. Cannabis be right or wrong? It's a liberal point of view. Cannabis be right or wrong? It's a liberal point of view to put that kind of faith in... I'm asking him. Go ahead, ask John. I always say it's not... I'm a liberal. Liberal meant leave people alone.

It's the left and the right. Okay, left. Is he talking about hummus like the food? What's he talking about? Hummus. You're worried about getting a hummus right? Get a better cook. Get a hummus expert.

This is the beauty of comedy. I don't have to worry about the comedians' jokes because they worry about their jokes. I don't have to worry about Jack Daniels because Jack Daniels worries about Jack Daniels. But the stuff that we produce here is a nightmare. It's just a nightmare. Anytime I see, like McDonald's to me, this is absolutely defying the laws of gravity.

That you can go to any McDonald's anywhere almost in the world and it really does taste the same. And it's clean and the quality is good. That is so. McDonald's? Yeah. It's reasonable anyway. McDonald's stinks. You don't like it, but you know what I'm saying. The fries are good. The fries are good. That's? Yeah. It's reasonable anyway. McDonald's stinks. You don't like it, but you know what I'm saying.

The fries are good. The fries are good. That's the right. I don't know how they do it. That's the right. Or Disneyland. You go to Disneyland, and everybody really is nice there. Disney World.

Like, I can't get my guys to be nice like I'd like them to be. Look, I'm a big, big fan of businesses that work, and this is the one big problem I have with Bernie is that he just seems to hate people that do shit. And I'm a big fan of people that do shit. And the beauty of the free market is if you don't do shit well, you go out of business. That's right. Government never goes out of business. Do they really think, okay, Jeff Bezos starts in his garage And it gets bigger and bigger and bigger

And now he's a billionaire But every day Amazon sells a book to me Do they think he's no longer Supposed to get a cut of that book Is that book now in a moral purchase What are they saying Is he supposed to no longer Make any money from Amazon

What The basis of it is Donald Trump's problem. He thinks trade is a zero-sum game. If somebody makes money, China makes some money, we lost it. If Bezos makes $200 billion, we lost that. But that's not how it works because business is voluntary. It doesn't happen unless both of us think we won. Leave him alone. We all win. If the greedy businessman produces a bad product, he gets screwed because his customers put him out of business. Yeah.

It's absolutely true. All right. So you want to wrap it up, Dan? Yeah, we do need to do it just after. A couple minutes just us for the cartoon promo that we want to do. On the air? No, we have to record it, but it's a couple minutes just us for the cartoon promo that we want to do. On the air? No, we have to record it, but it's not going to go on the air pod. All right.

So anyway, thank you very much, Mr. Stossel. It's a pleasure, Noam. I hope you live in the city? I do. I hope you come down more often and hang out. I will now. Ryan was a great host. You were, and we'll be back.

When the mics aren't on, we talk even more frankly than this. It gets really good. Keith's always the same. Keith's always the same. Keith's exactly the same. Just beating up gays. Well, when I was a kid, yeah. But you are, just to be clear, you are ashamed of that.

No, I'm not ashamed. And willing to accept reparations. How about the white kid? Are you ashamed of beating him up? Absolutely not. This is what somebody sounds like when they've kind of come to terms

with the fact they're not going to become famous. It's not going to happen. I used to beat up gay kids. All right, good night, everybody. Cut that part out. Cut it out.