The Comedy Cellar: Live from the Table - Kelly and Vos Have a Bone to Pick

Episode Date: January 1, 2021

Rich Vos, Robert Kelly and Hatem Gabr.  Beloved by audiences around the globe, Rich Vos has over 100 television appearances and is the co-host of My Wife Hates Me podcast. Robert Kelly’s credits include the hit series Louie, Inside Amy Schumer, Trainwreck, Nurse Jackie and Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn. He hosts the top rated podcast, You Know What Dude.

This is Live from the Table, the official podcast at New York's world-famous Comedy Cellar. Coming at you on SiriusXM 99 Raw Dog and on the Riotcast Podcast Network. This is Dan Natterman. Noam is here as usual, the owner of the world-famous Comedy Cellar. Peri, our action brand, our producer. And our guests are two beloved Comedy Cellar comedians. Robert Kelly, who you might know from the hit series Louie. Inside Amy Schumer, the movie Trainwreck wreck nurse jackie tough crowd with colin quinn he hosts the top rated podcast

you know what dude and we also have rich voss with us beloved by audiences around the globe he has over 100 television appearances and is the co-host of my wife hates me podcast i think that's also on the Riotcast podcast network. Is that the case? It's on Laugh Button Live. The Riotcast doesn't exist. You're not on Riotcast either. Yeah. We're all on Laugh

Button Live, which I think used to be Riotcast. Fold it in. It doesn't matter. Laugh Button Live for all your podcasting needs. Welcome one and all. Noam, let's start things off. I know Noam's got a lot to say on this New Year's Eve Eve when we are recording Sliding into 2021 A lot of countdown going on behind me

Are they Having people in Times Square tomorrow I doubt it Yeah homeless people There's going to be a bunch of black kids on bikes. Why? Nothing. No.

So listen, first of all, Robert, just to clear a little, a little business here. You know, we did that comedy star thing last night. You were invited on and apparently you didn't answer the email.

Not true. Oh, okay. I mean, I went through my my emails never got an email also when you don't get an email back there's a text message there's a phone there's a voice there's facetime there's zoom there's not there's other people there's you don't just send somebody one email and assume they got it if they don't respond well you know what it is robert not everybody's like you. In this business- Did you say none of us like you? I'll take that.

If I was afraid- That makes sense. I'm thinking that, but go ahead. In this business, it's quite ordinary to not get an email returned. And that's usually by design. Someone doesn't want to say no. So they just ignore you. So you don't usually follow up. You're different because you're pretty fastidious about communication. So you will always answer. Stop. Explain that to Voss, that word. You're pretty reliable, pretty exact. You're obsessive compulsive.

Yeah. So like when Hatem texted you or emailed you and you didn't answer, he probably figured, well, I don't want to bother him, you know, so I'm just going to let it sit there. That's what happened. Oh. But I mean, I can go through the emails. I don't have an email.

Well, I mean, it doesn't matter. I mean, I'll find the email and then actually while you're doing it, while you're talking, I'll text Hattem and ask him to send me the email. I think the singer R. Kelly got it. Hey, Noam, off the record, I mean, real quick. When we used to do the Cellar podcast every night, you know, the one back in the beginning of this it was so much fun and when you were on it was so i mean it was great because it turned political and you you ran it well you mean the one when

you mean the one when no one would sit there like this no he was i thought he was into it in the beginning i was what happened why did it just fade away and you quit out of nowhere with no warning. SD bailed out. And I thought it was a good podcast. Well, you know, if somebody told me that, if someone had told me they thought it was good while it was happening, I might've been encouraged to keep it.

But I didn't feel that it was good. And I went into like a little dark period there. I mean, I'm still a little bit in a dark period, but I was even darker there and I just couldn't do it. I was getting stressed. Wasn't it also like basically a pandemic thing, and then it's kind of like when everybody used to clap at 7 p.m. for the doctors and nurses, and eventually they just stopped doing it. And now it was sort of a pandemic thing, and who expected the pandemic to last this long? I didn't really mean to stop doing it all together. I just wanted to just take a week off or something, and then I don't really mean to stop doing it all together. I just, I wanted to just take a week off or something.

And then I don't know. All right. Can I say something? Just, I don't know what you and Bob. Well, why are you so loud? All right,

hold on. Hot Tim is here. Hot Tim. You literally just scared the shit out of me. Can you hear, can you talk hot Tim? Can he just, if he wants to come on, can he come on normally?

You want to come on? Can I send you a link and you can come on the Zoom show? Sure. I'll send you a link right now. Okay. Okay, go ahead. He sounds like he's in outer space. I just want, am I still too loud?

You're fine. Go ahead, Barry. That's just the way I, maybe because you're a woman, I'm hearing you loud like I hear my wife. You sound like you're talking like this. Did you call the repairman? Did you plunge the toilet? I found money in your drawer. Go ahead, Perry.

What do you want to say? Well, I was going to stick up for Bobby, but I'm sort of changing my mind right now. Now you feel like his wife. I was going to say that I didn't know what you guys were talking about, but I couldn't resist the opportunity to disagree with Noam. In that I tried to reach Bobby twice via text message, and I didn't hear back

from him. So I called him and I picked up the phone. Yeah. But no, I'm as awesome. Sometimes not a non-response means don't bother me. And so you take it. No, no. What I'm saying is that people are intimidated by, by Robert Kelly. He doesn't realize it or maybe he does. He kind of likes it. No, not at all. Perrielle, if Natterman didn't't answer if natterman hadn't answered hot someone would have texted him like what the fuck you want to

be on my show or not they don't talk to you like that when you asked me to be on the show what did i say perry oh you told me that you were busy and you were doing another show and that you had to go no i'm just no no no when you you originally asked me, what did you say? I said, do you want to come on the show? And what did I say? You said, sure. And I said, what? Just remind me. You said, who else is going to be there? And I said, Rich Voss.

And you said, no. Oh, well, why did he carry through with it? It was a joke, Voss. I know, dummy. So was that. Well, yours didn't come across as a joke. Yours came across as hurtful and you like you meant it. Oh, are you looking at me?

Because you're not focusing. We want to do another. We did it last night. But do you want to do some more thoughts on on the end of the year? Yeah, I want to talk about also want to talk about the Borat movie, what you guys thought about the Borat movie. But I also want to ask you a question because I know you guys have all been to a lot of therapy.

Oh, Harry L. What is an imposter complex? What do they call that? Imposter complex. Imposter of it Imposter complex Imposter or Imposter complex I know what I know what pasta

pasta complex is I think without googling I think it's when you when you a successful person feels that he doesn't merit

his success and that at any moment they're going to find out that he's a fraud Wait is Perriello a therapist? Are you a therapist?

No Are you out therapist? No. Are you out of your mind? Who, me? No, her. If she was a therapist, she wouldn't be doing this show. So I think that's what I've been feeling a lot of lately during COVID.

It's not quite that, but it's not just like, what am I doing these shows for? Why do I have a comedy club? I email. I have a comedy club? Like I email, I have a lot of like people I email with who are, who are kind of. Listening to the talking heads or something. Prominent intellectuals. And I'm like, why do I even bother them?

Why am I emailing them? They don't want to hear from me. What it's like, I just, I'm really, I just want to retreat. I don't like the last two years that I became like a semi or quarter or eighth Octoroon public figure. I think I don't like it. I think, I think I liked it better when I was just totally behind the scenes. I think that's what I'm trying to say.

What's your barometer on public figure? Well, the fact that I, that I do a podcast, that I'm, like, I did an interview in the Gothamist this week, and then I'm stressing everything I said. But that's not the imposter syndrome.

That's just, you're a... You're overwhelmed. You're a recluse, but you don't feel that you don't merit or that you're not intelligent. Oh, he is. Well, I don't feel that I'm unintelligent, but I also don't, I don't feel that you don't merit or that you're not intelligent oh he is well i i don't feel that i'm unintelligent but i i also don't i don't i don't know what i feel but i know that

i've told you a million times when you go head to head with these intellectuals you were more than you tell me that i and i appreciate that i'm not one to give you compliments in fact i'm looking for ways to insult you you know it's sincere but i know i know i know but but you know that's typical of people who um have this so-called complex is that people tell them you know it's sincere but i know i know i know but but you know that's typical of people who um have this so-called complex is that people tell them you know that what they do yeah but you're a comedy you're you're a musician you're a comedy club owner you own the restaurant and you feel like you're actually doing stuff that comics do you're on the podcast you're out in the thing you're giving interviews your opinions out there and you're like what the fuck

am i doing i shouldn't be doing this i should just keep my just keep my trap shut own the club make my money enjoy my family swim my pool go to maine once a year and call it a day right yeah exactly robert yeah but you can't do that because of the type of personality you are. You went to law school for a reason because you love to argue a point. You love to win. You love to prove things wrong. You love the puzzle of

it all. You love figuring shit out. And with all this fucked up shit that's happening, wrap it up. With all this... See, you... up shit that's happening wrap it up yeah see you right you doing a fucking documentary i'm just i'm just i'm just reading this off of a website i like all those things. Yes, you do. I like them better at the table under the radar, at the olive tree. Yeah, well, you can use words that we can't say on Zoom.

Yeah, exactly. The truth is, at the table, we didn't always discuss those sorts of things that you like to discuss, and we didn't have the guests that we have on the podcast. Hatem, should we say hello to Hatem? We're living through a very bad time for mental health. So who knows what the fuck I'm really feeling.

Hatem, why didn't you invite Robert on our show yesterday? Well, you know, I was just leaving. I first don't understand why is that a big deal? But first, Hatem, I want to thank you for having me. Of course, Richard. You're the first person that I thought of. Exactly. Can I say something, though?

I don't expect Hatem to invite me. That's not true. I don't have a problem with Hatem. If that was Hatem's show, I have a problem with you, Noam, not saying, hang on, let me finish, not saying, hey,

why don't we have Robert? That's why I called you. If I had a problem with hatem i would have called hatem i i called you and said you're having a show the year's end i started the fucking zoom podcast i'm the one who did it six nights a week on this thing every night hosting it for hours having to talk you from putting a gun to your fucking mouth right so you could have fun for months i did it and then you do a year-end review i have a couple fans why are you doing this i don't know let me call the owner of everything and ask him why he's not having me on it you had fucking esther kuh who doesn't even work your goddamn club on it. And then...

I love her. And then you tell me, you have a... You have a... Tell me, oh, you were invited. No, I wasn't. There's no emails. There's no text messages.

If there's any time to invite somebody to something and you get it, it's now. Voicemail. Fucking Duo. FaceTime. Fucking Zooms. Text message, video text, audio text. I mean, what the fuck? Can I say something?

Hold on real quick. Yeah. Bobby, no one just said he's going through a lot. You know, cut him a break. My washer, listen, my dryer just broke. And my fucking my water pressure just fucking failed. Let me I'm going through a lot. Let me say my thing, you know, because, you know, I think I think it's not fair that I've not heard and I just assumed that I wouldn't invite you to my show because he said you don't expect that if it's not, that's not true. First of all, the show was my

idea. No, I'm really, to be honest, like he wasn't involved as much. I put the line up. I wasn't involved at all. Yeah. I had the idea, you know, I called everybody. The reason, you know, I didn't do it with you because I, like months ago, I emailed you and emailed you. You never even returned my emails. And I feel that you don't want to be bothered by me. I only call people that, you know, wanted to, to get back to me. Even in Christmas, I texted. What email did you need? Let me finish, please.

What email? No, no, I won't. What email? No, I won't. Because I don't need to go through this shit. If you tell me, if you sent me an old email and it didn't get to me, I have a text message from you. No, no, no. I didn't send you an email about this show.

I said, I sent you an email a long time ago merry christmas bobby yeah when did you and i wrote merry christmas buddy back immediately why would i not why would i not respond to your fucking email you never responded to my emails before why would i yes i have i have about your podcast and i let you know and you text mess me and i respond to you why would I not respond to a fucking email that you sent me I don't have this I don't have this email by the way he just had a heart transplant maybe you want to take it down a notch yeah well I'm about to have one no no it's not true first of all it's not fair to accuse someone of something that's already not a crime first of all second of all i i felt that you are

not you are not wanted to be bothered like honestly no i love you and i would say no listen i feel baby maybe you don't want to you don't want to have nothing to do with me so are you crazy maybe i what would i why would you send me a merry Christmas if you feel I want nothing to do with you? And what did I send back? Two days later. If that was Norm, when did you send it back? Let's be honest. Let's just be honest.

Yeah, and if I don't want to, if I don't, two days later, I had a kid. I don't fucking talk to anybody on Christmas, and I sent Norm. I didn't die any minute. Norm didn't even send me a fucking Merry Christmas. I said if he did. What if Colin said you were the person? I sent everybody a Merry Christmas two days later. Yeah.

Noam, two days later. I sent him a Merry Christmas. That was not the first experience. The second experience was the emails that I send you so many times and then I send you reminders and based on the conversation that you had so this that's where it's from so that's fine you don't want me to have me on that show because you know that so it's you it's not me not them it's you you don't like you don't like that I don't email you about something. So you don't want nothing to do with me. So I don't want nothing to do with you.

So that's fucking fine. You just said it. Don't put it on me, motherfucker. I didn't say I don't want you on the show. I said I don't respond to anything. So why would I even bother? That's not true. I just responded to you.

But you said two days later. What are you, my wife? I responded two days later. Merry Christmas. I just responded to you. But what you said two days later. What are you my wife? I responded two days later. Merry Christmas respect that I give Bobby that there's never you don't demand respect You just get it. No, it's not respect. Merry Christmas is not about respect Yes, Merry Christmas is either you fucking mean it or you don't yeah If you're doing it to get a Merry Christmas back, you don't fucking mean it don't mean it then you know then you know you don't mean it cuz you're doing it waiting for a response Merry Christmas I didn't respond I got him you're not doing it from here you're doing it from here you can I said Merry

Christmas is out to people right a couple days later and nobody said something back you You know when I said Merry Christmas to Noam? Didn't say shit back. I don't care about Noam. Doesn't matter to me. Our relationship. If I email you something, you don't email me back. Then you don't want to... No, no, exactly. It's about respect for you. It's not about... Merry Christmas to you is

about respect, not about Merry Christmas. No, no, no. Don't try to twist the thing to make like... No, I'll fucking say whatever I want because that's what it is. Yeah, of course, because it's over Zoom. Don't tell me no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, because it's over Zoom. That's what it is.

Because it's over Zoom. What does that mean? What, do you want to get physical now? Oh, you can't get physical with me. Is that what you want? Did you forget? Did you forget? No, I'm asking, what does that mean, over Zoom?

I'd say it to your face. Because you're trying to be like a tough guy. I mean, I'm asking. What does that mean, over Zoom? I'd say it to your face. You're trying to be like a tough guy. I'm not being a tough guy. You're being an asshole saying marriage. You're saying about respect. You're making shit about respect. You started out saying, I invited you. I didn't think you wanted to do it.

Then you went to, you don't respect me. That's why I didn't invite you. Yes, I didn't say that. So just say that. Just say, look, Bobby, you don't respect me. That's why I didn't invite you. Yes. I didn't say that. I said, so just say that. Just say, look, Bobby, you don't respect me. I demand respect. No, your words, not mine. Oh, that's your words. Not mine. Okay. Okay. That's your words. Not mine. You said I demand respect. Let me say my words. Then let me say my words. I'm telling you what you said. This is your last word uninterrupted.rupted, and then you guys have to make up. Go ahead. Go ahead, Hatem.

Thank you. I said two things. There's a personal level, and there's a professional level. Personal level, for me, I think Robert is a great guy. He's always been a friend. We went to a managed funeral a few times, just me and him and Esty, the three of us. We were just talking about it with Esty so many times. Personally,

I have nothing, and I would love to have him on the show. Professionally, I feel he wants nothing to do with me, which is okay. Maybe he thinks I'm not a big deal. Maybe I'm not important in his life professionally. I understand that. I don't want to be, you know, send somebody something and he doesn't send it back. I understand that you don't want to do nothing with me professionally. You know what I'm saying?

So you need to think about two things. You mix it in and out. If that's what you want, it's up to you. I send you a couple of emails. Everybody stop for a second. It sounds, I mean, since Rich thinks I'm a therapist, I'm going to adopt this role for a second. It sounds like there's a lot of miscommunication going on here. And it sounds like- There's no email I got. I'm going to say something. I'm sorry to cut you off. He's saying he sent me an email

to do some show that I never got. Okay. I went through my emails. I have emails about- I didn't send you an email to do a show you never got. Well, you said you invited me to do this show and I never responded.

No, no, I didn't say that. When did I say that? You said that you sent him an email. Wait a second. Stop everything. No, no, no. You just asked. Let her tell you. You said that you sent him an email a while ago to do a show. Yes, about the show. When he was discussing about having the show in his network, I sent him so many emails.

We're not talking about that. We're not talking about your podcast. We're talking about the show the other night where I don't have a problem with you, Sam, putting a show together. That's fine. That's your show, right? I called Noam and said,

you're doing a year in review of the Comedy Cellar Comics and all these people and you didn't invite me? And he said, it's Hattem's. I didn't know. Hattem said he invited you. And I said, I never got an invite to that show.

If you didn't send me an invite to that show if you didn't send me an invite to that show a time I that's fine with me I I have no problem with you doing that okay I really don't you can put whoever you want on your shows but what I think what you're getting what I'm getting confused and what you're getting confused you're talking about a podcast that you wanted on riot cast or a laugh button live I'm talking about a podcast that you wanted on Riotcast or Laugh Button Live. I'm talking about the show you put together the other night. I thought that was Gnome Show

and I called Gnome and said, you're doing a show and I'm not on it? I was the one who started all the Zoom stuff. I'm a fucking comedy seller comic. I fucking love everybody including you, Hatem, believe it or not. I know you do. I said to him, I said, everybody, including you, Hatem, believe it or not. I know you do. I said to him, I said, dude, what the fuck?

And he was like, oh, no, it was Hatem's show. And I go, yeah, but you didn't invite me. You're not having me on the show. And he's like, then he sent me a text message, Hatem invited you. And I was like, no, he didn't. Never invited me. And you just said it. You didn't invite me on that show the other night.

I didn't. I didn't say that show. But what we did do, though, in the beginning of the show, Liz text you and said, do you want to be in the show? Right. Not. Yeah, because I was. And I said, do you really need an invitation? Like you can jump in.

Let me tell you something. Colin Quinn never got invited to Patrice's barbecue after he stopped going two times. And he called Patrice and said, what the fuck? And Patrice said, you don't come. Why am I inviting you? He goes, it doesn't matter. I still deserve the invite. You invite me whether I come or not because of who I am to you.

Okay, that's fair. Okay. And as far as the Christmas shit goes, dude, you sent me a Merry Christmas, right, and I know you don't think it's an excuse, but having a kid and a family, my kid doesn't have anybody to play with, I'm with him all fucking day, when I saw that, and I got a ton of those Merry Christmases, right, and yeah, I should have responded to everybody that day immediately. I didn't. I put my phone down, and I tried to spend the day without my fucking dumb phone and play with my kid and fuck around with him, right?

That's fine. And then when I got back to it, I went immediately to yours and wrote Merry Christmas, buddy. Maybe to your main difference, but for me, december 26 two years in a row you and me and esty went to manny's thing to visit him and after so to me that was a special day for you me and her and i was talking to esty the other day and we're talking about when you were taking the people stole when you told yeah i me too dude i maybe i felt it was a special that you would email back that's it yeah dude i did And I didn't do it in time.

And I apologize for that. But that's something that you could say, hey, bro, why didn't you? Why did you not text me? I texted you on Christmas. You text me. And I would have been like, I'm not mad. That's like, like, I'm mad. I'm mad now.

Yeah, but you made it about respect, which doesn't make sense to me. Bobby, I'm sorry, Rich. Go ahead. Bobby, on Christmas, when we talked on the phone for an hour and a half that day, I mean, it was, you know, about a lot of stuff. You don't think maybe after we hung up, you could have texted? I don't know. I didn't have time.

I was talking. Honestly, honestly. Jeff, listen. Like honestly to be honest first of all you know how I feel about you I know how you feel about me I wasn't mad at you I was mad at Noam you shouldn't because really he was honestly

100% we all should be mad at Noam nothing to do with it he doesn't even know who was invited to be honest he didn't know anything Noam doesn't respond to my emails so I don't even know who was invited, to be honest. Like, he didn't know anything, you know? Noam doesn't respond to my emails, so I don't even let him know anything. Listen, Hatem, he lives five minutes away from me. I've seen him once in a year.

I know, I know. Like, listen, he's a great friend, you know, and he does a lot to me, and so are you, you know? He's never called me. That's so weird because I live like two hours from now and he's been by my house five times. And listen, Robert, I know, just to end with one thing, just to end with one thing.

I know you're not gonna believe this, but ask Mike, Mike, Mike the producer, your producer, my producer, ask him who I told him we missed him from this show two days before and I told him I'm gonna call him right now and I just happened to forget. Ask him who I told him we missed it from this show two days before and I told him gonna call him right now and I just happened to forget ask him who But he said he tried to talk to you that night and you were like no No, well I said should we should I call Robert? Should we get Robert? That did not happen two days?

I said, yeah, I Know my kill here Mike Mike, let's get him on here. Let's get him on here. Yeah, Mike, you're here, Mike. You can invite him. I'm afraid we're trying new audiences' patience. I think that is clear that both, there's a misunderstanding here. Both of you are feeling insulted because in some way you feel the other one doesn't love you.

No, no, I don't have a problem with it, Sam, at all. I really don't. I love it, Sam. And I don't try to disrespect- You felt slighted by him, and he thought that you- I felt slighted by you, not him. You're not like my wife. My wife can bring any argument back to me. It literally happened yesterday. She was yelling and screaming at our son, Nicholas, and by the end, she was

yelling and screaming at me. And I just turned into me. Well, if Hatem, listen, Hatem can do whatever he wants in the show. And if I wasn't on that show, I wouldn't be like, what the fuck?

I get it. Hatem has a full boat, but I was like, you, that's why I called you. You should be like, Robert should be on that show. He has nothing to do with it.

And at the end, now I'm thinking about it, even though, you know, I didn't really. Hold on, Hatem, don't you have some anti-rejection the end, now I'm thinking about it, even though, you know, I didn't. Hold on. Hotem, don't you have some anti-rejection medication to take? I want to get a word in edgewise. I'm kidding.

Hello? Nothing? It's not funny. Not funny? All right. All right. I thought it was funny. So, listen, when we first started the podcast, I thought at the time, you and I spoke about it, that maybe it would catch on because it was a pandemic and it was an opportunity.

And then it didn't really catch on. So I didn't bother you about doing the podcast anymore. At first, when I thought maybe it could be good for you, actually, because we have 150,000 people on our mailing list and we sent out an email. And if it caught on, then it would have been terrific to have Robert Kelly involved in it because it could have benefited you but um as it didn't catch on then I didn't really want to bother you doing that show all the time and then I just couldn't do it I don't want to bother people like when he when I saw that he asked Norton I'm like Jesus Christ I hope Norton felt comfortable saying no you know that's it you know what the thing is though is because you're not the person who's asking people to come on the show all the time it's like if somebody doesn't want to come

on the show they're not gonna come on the show nobody's doing these things to do people favors i mean i ask people that's you know all we do right it's okay people do do right? People do do favors. I do podcasts to do favors. Yeah, so do I. But I waited months. I was in the car listening to this podcast. I go, how come I've never done this? How come I haven't done it?

And I didn't harbor a big resentment. I just- I started this fucking podcast. I've been on twice. I'm going to be honest. I've been on twice. Hey, listen to me. I'm going to be on twice. Listen to me. I'm going to be honest with both of you. I haven't asked you guys

because I didn't want to bother either one of you. I wasn't sure. I never want to be asked again. Please. I mean, keep to that. It's not a bother to email because I'll tell you the truth. I love doing

a podcast now because it fills time up you know there's a lot to talk about and you know what I mean like last night when I did that podcast I it was great there was so many great comics on it I mean

oh fuck Norton and Colin were so funny holy Holy shit, was it good last night. I watched. It wasn't that good. And both of them left early. Okay, Borat, the new Sacha Baron Colin movie. I don't know anymore, but why

are we talking about Borat now? Maybe I'm not a good judge. I think maybe this is enough for the listeners uh but no i mean i do feel like the problem with gnome he worries he tries to be the people listening he it's like who gives a yeah i think i think that's important is to make sure that bobby because i'm truly listen i you know me i can get hot but I really love all of you you know I know to me like you honestly believe it like you were the first comment stand-up comedian I ever seen oh you know sorry yeah yeah I know I didn't know it's comedy but it's okay still came back no but Robert you know to me like I don't want you to be like you like

family like you like Rich and Colin and Jim and like these people, like, you know, shaped a lot of my life, you know? So why would I not want you in the show? Like, give me one reason. I'll give you five. Well, it's just to me, listen. Listen to me. If there's a thing going on, as far as we are friends,

if you have a problem with me getting back to you or something, just call me and go, hey, dude, I got a problem with you. But I really don't know. I would literally. Somebody doesn't want to get bothered. Like, Norm doesn't want to get bothered. Not at all, dude. Listen, no, I'm just going to get bothered. Not at all. Norm is doing the podcast for me. So I don't want him to get any,

you know, a little, even blame for this because I honestly, I still blame something to blame. It's me. Like I still blame. No, it's no,

I blame the Jews in general. I know. And yeah, but you know, I blame the Jews. Yeah, me too. There's a lot of Jews on this show right now

We should be careful Normally it's a higher percentage It's mostly Jews It's just me and you right now who celebrate Christmas Yeah Just apologize For what? Tell me what to apologize for

I'm not inviting him on the show Let me apologize to apologize for. I'm not inviting him on the show. Let me apologize to every single comedian in the world. But I'm not every single comedian. You just said that I was the first one. You should just show it. Do you celebrate Christmas? I thought you were a Muslim.

I'm a people's person. I celebrate everything. I love everybody. Okay. Listen, can we, can we just say this next year? Bobby can do the show next. Of course. Okay. So Bobby marketing your calendar. That when we do 2021 year in review, you can come on and maybe we'll cut down modi's character a little oh don't worry we

when i went through the list of comics that are on it before me i was it made me angrier i was i told you on vacation i swear to god i go where the fuck is bobby but who am i to bring it up i'm just a guest i don't go to a party and go how come this person's not there i'm just a guest. I don't go to a party and go, how come this person's not there? I'm just happy I was invited. You know what I mean? So Bobby, prove that you're not mad and come on the show Sunday. Okay, Sunday?

Yeah, Sunday 1 p.m. This Sunday 1 p.m. What's on Sunday? Is it the Mint Show? No, it's a live American thing. I will definitely come. And I will give you an official apology on the air. I will definitely.

I have a birthday party to go to on Sunday, but I think they're changing it to Saturday. If they change it to Saturday, I'll definitely come on. Okay. But listen, everything that he did and all that, this is all like show thing. Like personally, nothing can ever change how I feel about you. Buddy, listen, I'm part of the Comedy Cellar family like you.

Seriously. I just wish I was on the Comedy Cellar year in review. And that's my fault. That is my fault. And I'm sorry for not saying Merry Christmas on Christmas. If that's my fault. That is my fault. And I'm sorry for not saying Merry Christmas on Christmas. If that's your wish, I wouldn't waste my fucking wish.

I wish I was... You were amazing yesterday. Seriously. The three of you together was like... Dan, what do you want to say, Dan? No, I thought you wanted to talk about Borat. The latest Borat. Right before we went on,

we were talking a little bit about it and I was surprised there was kind of a negative reaction about it. What do you think about it? Well, because you had one of the writers on and I'm not saying the writer's free. Yeah, I was going to bring up her name. But no, no, no, no,

because I don't know her. I don't know her. Because she might be able to help you in the future no no listen to me fucking no one can help me now the head of netflix can't help me all right uh here's the thing uh no one everybody you know and it's like even when i listen to stern stern will have somebody on about a movie that's unwatchable and no one ever does a little criticizing. They don't have to say, Hey, this sucks or this and that, but they can say, uh,

why was it all dick jokes or why was it this? Why? You know what I mean? Without making the person feel bad or seem like they're incompetent. Does that make sense? Because I think. Difficult, a difficult balancing act to do that. That's a hard thing to do when you're promoting a show, your only job as the person, like Stern or whoever you radio show,

you cannot fucking diss that movie. You have to just either let them talk or say you loved it because you're promoting it or you won't get the next person. Yeah, that's true. But then a week later, two weeks later, then they start trashing the movie.

Whatever. I've heard it a million times where... Whatever. There was probably 10, 20 writers on that movie. We had an additional problem that threw us back on our heels that she didn't warn us. She had signed an NDA where she wasn't allowed to talk about the movie. Yeah.

She didn't tell us that. Nuts and bolts. Quite frankly, I didn't have any criticism. I thought it was funny. You like Borat, too? Yeah, I like Borat, too. But I also like Porky's, too, and everybody said it was terrible because I was a kid then.

But I did like Bory's too, and everybody said it was terrible, because I was a kid then. But I did like Borat too. Listen, I never would want to badmouth a comic or say, because it's not that person's fault. No, no, there's probably ten writers on it, just directors. But it was

unwatchable. In my opinion, just my opinion. My problem with it, if I had a problem, and I don't even know if I had a problem because Jenna wasn't allowed to discuss

whether or not, like, I don't like when people think that they're going to be part of something fun and then they end up being made to look like idiots

or being made uncomfortable. So that scene where, like, at the ball where she's, like, showing period blood, I mean, you know,

if they were just there for a nice evening and the next thing they know they're being shown period blood, that to me is a little... Oh, come on. That was the best part. If that's what it was. That's the only part that got me hard. But if that's what it was... Now, it might have been that they knew that they were in for

something like that, but Jen didn't want to discuss that, but I did think it was a funny movie. I think the only part of that movie that was hard for me is that I already knew. It's like knowing a magic trick. I couldn't suspend. Because the first one, I knew it was fake, but you didn't know where and what.

And the second one, you could figure it out easier. So I couldn't get into the movie as much as I did the first one. I knew the daughter's fake. The first one, I didn't know if that was a real hook. I didn't know she was an actress. I didn't know his buddy was an actor. I thought they might have been real. On this one, I knew everybody was fake involved on that side.

We all knew it was fake, though. I mean, even in the first one, if we had watched the HBO show, if you were a fan of the HBO show, you knew it was fake. But I didn't know that hooker, like the comedian was, what's her name? I forget her name. Lunel. Lunel. I didn't know she was, I thought she was a real hooker, dude. Listen,

you don't want to go on and just trash. I just, like I said, I didn't think it was great. There's great, I mean, look, that movie I told you to watch with the guy that passed away. Now I can't think of it. Mo, it's about the black jazz singer. It was fucking great. What level of honesty should we have with our guest projects? And then we're going to talk about My Wife Hates Me. No me no no i listen i've been on projects

and i know stink i you know that i whatever you know i i we did a pilot bonnie and i and i watched it and i wanted to hit her that's how bad it was you know i knew it was bad all right so i listen i don't know it's just that you see you see these movies being made with all this money and whatever. And then yet they're not giving us the money to make a movie. Is that about you? No. Is that what this is about? No, no, not at all.

I'm sick of watching bullshit. TV shows are great. Just great shows. But all the budgets that go into these movies, the high budgets, and you're watching two hours of dick jokes. But they still make money somehow. Yeah.

I'm kind of with Dan. I did like Porky's too. I like all of Adam Sandler's movies, no matter what he does. I love it. I love the silliness of it. This one was just a little harder because of the gimmick. There's a gimmick that was hard to, like when he did Bruno.

You know, there was a gimmick. We already were, once he did Borat, he fucked up the gimmick to go to the next movie. You know what I mean? It's like, once you know who the impractical jokers are, they can't be outside fucking around because they're like, oh, you're those guys. It's a harder gig.

Borat was great. Everybody fucking knows him. I like Bruno too. I thought the period part was amazing. And anybody who's going out... It was funny. My only concern, not concern, but my only issue is

if those people were just going out for a nice evening... I know what he's saying. They weren't going out for a nice evening. They were going to a... I know that because I don't know how it was set up. It was a father-daughter night. Can I say something? Yeah.

I don't have a daughter, but if I was taking my daughter to a father-daughter night, I'd be very excited to be with my daughter. We get dressed. Oh, we're going to dance. And then all of a sudden, you're seeing just a bloody vag on some chick. I know what Dan's saying, but as a comic i would fucking hopefully

my daughter and me would be laughing our asses off on the way home while we got some spaghetti at least that's one girl you don't hit on i don't i look at just watch the movie i told you to watch, Bob. You want to see a great movie. I don't know. It's about the black female jazz singer. Have you seen it, Noam? Who's the guy with Chadwick Boseman? What's his name? Noam, do you watch Chadwick Boseman?

Yeah. Black Panther. No, the new movie, Bob. Hold on. That's the guy. That's the guy from Black Panther Yes I know That was

Eldridge Cleaver Hey Noam Do you watch movies You don't strike me as somebody That could sit down and turn a movie on And watch it The be the whole thing through without getting up and doing nine different things yeah i used to watch movies but now that the tv is so dominated by my kids it's very hard to get time two hours a tv that you can i mean

i assume you want to be wherever i am it doesn't't matter. I agree. My TV's dominated now too, for some reason. And then Juanita watches a stupid like forensics. She fancies herself an undiscovered crime fighter, which is the name of that movie is Ma Rainey's Black Bottom. If Chad's whatever his name is, doesn't win an Oscar. Black Panther. He's dead. Of course he's going to win. He died. He's got to win. He could win at Posthumous. Yeah, they always give it to the guy who dies. He was amazing. I mean,

there was no Borat, but he was amazing. Are Netflix movies eligible for Oscars? To be eligible for an Oscar, you have to play in a theater in New York and L.A. That's it. Two theaters.

So they just run it in New York and run it in L.A. And then you can be eligible. Do you think after all this is over, the movie business, the movie theater business is coming back at all or at with equal at an equal level or oh i think it's gonna get it's gonna get worse for the movie business as this technology starts because i mean believe it or not a lot of people are watching vr movies and warner brothers they're going they're going to the movie theaters with their vr headset you literally walk you go into a theater with your friends and watch a movie that's playing now like you're in a theater. And didn't Warner Brothers just sign a big deal

that HBO Max gets all their movies at the same time? So, you know, if you and your family can watch it on HBO Max at home instead of going to a theater. There is something fun about going to the theater and even the smell of the popcorn and just the kind of experience, the good experience.

I mean, it's really not. I mean, except for Alamo. Alamo is, I love going to Alamo. Number one, the food is amazing.

The system, Alamo, yeah, the system, you put the little card up. If you talk, you get kicked out. You can rat people out

who are talking with a note instead of having to go get somebody so they don't know it's you um i think it's a good experience for the kids the kids are great yeah but regular like movie theaters like they tried to do the i-pick but they're me and noam but you go in and it's literally a reclining bed every movie i went to 10 minutes in i'm fucking sleeping movie theaters are gonna have to step up their game i guess and make it sort of a different experience you know that's

the same with comedy clubs or any indoor event you're saying you know uh any indoor event people have to ease their way back into it and feel safe no that's not what we're saying that's not exactly there's nothing to do with what we're saying. Technology can replace movies. We're talking about technology. He said you think people will go back into the theater. I meant that with the technology, now that we're all used to staying

at home and watching everything on Netflix, people just continue to do that. I can see why Hattim doesn't like you, Bobby. I don't know who Hatim is. Hatem. Me and Hatem. Listen, it doesn't matter how I say his name.

I was already on the podcast. That's true. And that's what really bothered me. My stage rating at that moment was very high, Rich. Hatem, sorry. I think that the technology, I think movies were already waning. I had stopped going to movies. I found that I preferred to stay home and watch them.

And your screen gets bigger and it's just easier, you know, but I don't think they're going away completely. I think for young people who want to go out on dates and stuff and want to get a hand job, you know, it's going on a date. A hand job? That was one of the best things about going to movies when you're, no? You got a handjob in a movie theater next to other people? Yeah, I go with my kids.

You go to a movie that nobody, you go to a movie that nobody else is at, you know, and. I'm not going to stick my dick through a box of popcorn. Making out in the movies, making out in the movies. Making out, yeah, making out is better.

What about Star Wars? You know, you know, there's a comedy style family goes to every Star Wars. I haven't seen one. The overwhelming majority of movies I've gone to in my life have been dates. And people will still want to go on dates, I think.

But other than that, I don't really see the advantage of seeing it. I used to go to the movies to avoid my roommate, back when I had a roommate. And I would just go to the theater and then see one movie for whatever the money was, and then go into the other theater after the movie was over, just because I didn't want to go with my roommate.

The best movie I went on a date on, just a feel-good movie, was Chandler's List. It was a great movie for a date. I was very happy. I used to love going to the movies until I ran out of quarters. Did he just make a Schindler's List joke? Yes.

To be fair, whatever that movie was, I didn't like Wonder Woman either. Wonder Woman 2. I didn't like that either. Wonder Woman 1 was great. Wonder Woman 2. I didn't like that either. Wonder Woman 1 was great. Wonder Woman 2, it was garbage.

Yeah, so, and that was a fucking, how high was that budget? So, again, it's not just... I mean, literally, just jamming it down your face,

this political correctness, social justice, sexism, it's like, it's a superhero movie made for guys this political correctness, social justice, sexism. It's a superhero movie made for guys who read comic books. You fucking assholes. They just took full advantage of it

and made it into some horse shit. My daughter, my nine-year-old daughter is like totally target audience for this thing and when Mila goes, now she flies up. Bullshit. target audience for this thing and when mila goes now she flies oh yeah bullshit bullshit you can't let you can't let somebody direct a fucking comic book movie who doesn't like comic books that's why john favaro is murdering it on everything he directs iron man star wars because

he loves the genre he He knows the backstory. He loves it. You can't just bring a woman director in just because she's a woman. You have to bring a woman director in who loves the genre of comic books and understands how to make a movie like that. I'm sure Pardo disagrees. I don't know that women are big into comic books as a general matter. No, women aren't into comic books, but women are into comic book heroes.

They love Black Widow. They love The Witch. They love Wonder Woman. They love the fact that Wonder Woman 1 was an awesome movie for not just women for everybody who watched it black white gay straight dick no dick everybody loved that movie that's what you should be making every time you make a movie you shouldn't be making a movie to just have one set of group of people like it well actually you can make a movie like that if you want to have a targeted audience. Yeah, if you want to have a target, if you want it to be a bomb. Well, if a group of people that's targeted, like Woody Allen.

Most people hate Woody Allen. The average person in America doesn't like Woody Allen. We're not talking about that genre. We're talking about comic book movies. We're talking about these type of movies are for everybody. And also, too, Woody Allen movies, the budgets are not astronomical. Black Panther was made for black people, but everybody loved it because they made a great movie for everybody.

It was a good movie. There's one more thing. I'm with you. It should be a comic book fans it's made for them but internationally like a lot of the international countries which make a lot of money are not comic book fans you know but they want action so they want the hollywood deal in that that that was something was missing as well from wonder woman too well i mean um i guess we'll see ultimately we'll see if the movie, you guys didn't like it,

but it might well be that people do like it. No, it's a bomb. It's a fucking flop. And also, too, it's... That's a good movie to go and get a handjob in if nobody's going. I mean, you can see it free on HBO Max. Yeah, but they did the same thing with Thor, too.

Thor 1 was good. 2 or 3 sucked. And they just went back and went alright we gotta refigure this they got a director who knew what he was doing and he made Thor Ragnarok which is probably one of the best movies that they made in that

whole Marvel thing is Thor Ragnarok I'm sure they can go back to Wonder Woman and remake it with a different director and knock it out of the park yeah but it's to be tough to get that confidence back. Not really, because the first one was so good and everybody loves Gal Gadot. She's awesome in the park. She's really, she's fucking Wonder Woman.

I should have never broke up with her. I mean, she really is. Good God. What? I should have never broke up with her. When did you meet her were you babysitting her the Israeli army is really yeah yeah and she was in the army she's very Israeli actually oh does that mean what does that mean very

is really some comments that not very good that's why I didn't watch Wonder Woman 2 oh but he did watch Wonder Woman she said some negative things about the Arabic people? Yeah. What did she say? I mean, she know her movie won't play in the Middle East anyway because she's not wearing,

you know, but. She didn't like Ali Baba and the 40 Thieves? No, no. She was in the Israeli army. Is there, is there an Arab

superhero? I was a kind of big lad. Oh, shit. No. It's not a hero. Damn. Is there an Arab superhero? Osama bin Laden? Oh, shit, no. It's not a hero, damn. Osama bin Laden. We should have an Arabic superhero. Yeah, there should be an Arabic superhero. And Gal Gadot's Jewish.

Gal Gadot's Jewish. Gal Gadot. Gal Gadot. Scarlett Johansson's Jewish. Yes. We are fuckable after all. We're pretty well represented in a genre you wouldn't expect.

Well, Scarlett Johansson's got a Swedish, half Swedish. Did they ever get married? Scarlett and Colin Jost? Yeah. I believe they're married. I think so. Oh, no wonder he doesn't return my call.

Alright, I think we're about out of time. They have a bunch of superheroes. They have the Super Mensch, Vonda Vamoon, Spider Matcha, the Jalk, which is the Jewish Hulk. Spider-Man.

Yeah, and then they have Iron Man and Bat-Manowitz. And they have, wait a minute, they have Wolverstein. You have a lot of superheroes. No, you'll love that movie about jazz. I'm telling you. Will you stop bringing it up just because...

I love it. I know, but but just I hate jazz but I mean maybe the movies good you'll love it also you know there's a whole contingent of people that find all superhero movies just entirely unwatchable yes my friend Joe is like that I don't cannot in reality there's Cannot suspend reality. Can I share something? Yeah. Oh, look at her. Look at her. What is it?

Oh, she's so pretty. Can you read this? Anti-Arab racism. Not just pretty. What did she say? Depends on what she said. Critics slam Wonder Woman 1984 for anti-Arab racism. What'd she say?

I don't like philops. No, but that's slamming the movie, not her. What'd she say? I don't like philophs. No, but that's the slamming in the movie, not her. What's the movie? What was anti-Arab about the movie? Well, I mean, there's a lot of things that she said, but you're out of time,

so I... No, but we can... She can do it in your time. One second. In the movie, one of the, I said, Arab princes wishes for something. I believe

he wants his people... Basically, it puts a wall up between... I believe it puts a wall up between the Jewish people or something like that. Old Egypt and New Egypt. Yeah, so he puts

a wall up old Egypt and she breaks it down at some shit like yeah but she saved those little Arab kids from getting run over she did I mean you don't want to do that she saved she actually didn't do it they had a stunt double do it it was something else in that movie I just remembered and I I, you know, I know people are going to roll their eyes when I said, but I bet it did.

It did strike me. She said, I guess it's Kristen Wiig says, you know, why do I talk with this annoying white woman's voice?

You remember that scene? There's Wonder Woman 84. Was it? It was. Was that, that was the movie, right? It had a lot

of that stuff in there. It was like a little, like a little, like Karen joke. It had a lot of that stuff in there. It was like a little Karen joke. It was gratuitous. I mean, I couldn't care less. Right here on Instagram, after she met with Netanyahu, she said, dear God, there are also Arab citizens in this country. And she put like a –

she had a few comments like that on Twitter and Instagram. I'm going to have to look into something. Then we can talk about it. Wait, but that was her supporting. Wait, I thought that was her supporting the Israeli Arabs and going against what Netanyahu said. It's hard to believe that a Hollywood actress is anything other than very, very politically correct. Especially one who sends around videos of herself singing,

imagine there's no countries. When you're hot, you can do whatever you want. Yeah. Not for me. But there was also, I mean, if you really want to get down to it, the one villain in the movie was a white guy in a park in a suit who was drunk who got up and was like hey come here let me see and he started grabbing her what are you fighting

me for and it's like really is that is that and he did it twice she beat him up and then he did it again like he didn't learn his fucking. He just came back and tried to sexually assault her. And it's some drunk white guy in a suit, which is like, really? Yeah. 1984. That's who was,

that's who was really stalking people in the park. There was, there was one thing. So I, I found it. So there was a scene there where Diana, uh, and,

uh, she says, um, but I, my voice isn't normally like this, but I take on that of a middle-aged white woman because it's more annoying. And I thought to myself, like, this is aimed at kids. Like, why are they aiming jokes, racial jokes about how annoying white women are. Yeah. At young children. Probably paid like a 50 grand to a script doc to insert like yucks into the script.

You know, like. Yeah, they do. But isn't it just something wrong? I mean, I'm not going to say it's equivalent, but obviously if there was a joke like that about any other ethnic group, people would be up in arms about it and i understand you he has a little more latitude to make fun of white people but don't do we really want kids thinking that way is that is that i just don't like it yeah but you also ruin the movie for

people because as you're watching it you're like what the fuck you gotta get you you watch a movie to escape and have fun and and and to live in this fantasy world where everybody supposedly gets along and then you're getting whacked in the face with you know whatever race you are whatever you are gender you are every couple minutes with their political correct social justice i gotta tell you something i'm so embarrassed it wasn't one woman it was the movie soul it's even worse yeah It was this new cartoon. Soul, have you seen it? Yes.

I saw it with my kid. It's a kid's cartoon, and that's what it was. Actually, correction. Perrielle was right. That comment was against Netanyahu. Yeah, we assumed she was right. We did? About that, yeah.

But, yeah, Kelly, I saw both those movies on the same day. There was similar lines, political correct lines in Wonder Woman. But yeah, this movie Soul, this new Disney cartoon, just taking shots at white people for kids, for little children. If anybody's seen the Netflix series, very popular, Bridgerton.

It's called Bridgerton. It's about- Oh, we started it the other night. It's what it is. it takes place in in england like in the jane austen era like 1815 and but half the characters are black so people are like well why are you putting black characters into a 18 you know regency uh era england you know comedy of manners or whatever the jane austen type thing and they said well this way everybody gets to enjoy it and relate to the characters

and just enjoy the story without, and everybody can enjoy it. I mean, which I guess is okay. Yeah, I don't know shit about that. I said that to my wife. The queen was not black and my wife's going, it's fantasy. It doesn't matter.

And I get what Adam was saying because we started watching it the other night. I go, this isn't matter. And I get what Nat and I are saying, because we started watching it the other night. I go, this isn't accurate. I mean, sometimes in history, like Kilopatra, they wanted Beyonce to play her, and Kilopatra is actually Greek. You know, she's white. And that's just history.

Well, look, they're remaking planes, trains, and automobiles. You know, whatever. You know what? You can't fight it. Say it. Say it. Oh, no. Look, they try to remake The Odd Couple.

You can't take a classic and remake it. Look, Godfather 3 was unwatchable compared to Godfather 1 and 2. Godfather 3 was watchable. They fixed it. Even with, even with, look, Godfather three was unwatchable compared to Godfather one and two. Godfather three. They fixed it. They fixed it. How it's what? 40 years later. I swear to God,

they fixed it. The Coda, they went back in, they got permission from Paramount to go reedit it the way they wanted to do it. You watched it, Robert? I watched it. And it's totally, it, Robert? I watched it, and it's totally...

It's less hurrah, and the story flows better. It's a way better story now. Hurrah in Godfather 3 was... I forgot. It was like Pacino already in that mode. Yeah, already. You can't replace Robert Duvall with George Hamilton. But they fixed it.

They fixed it. They did. They made a much better movie. It's the same length. They just made a much better movie by switching a couple things around and editing things. It actually gets a 90% on Rotten Tomatoes compared to the original one that got 63 tomatoes.

So it is a better movie. I watched it. I liked it. I mean, look at nothing. You understand, Godfather 2 was one of the greatest movies ever made just for what it was. I mean, it was two movies in one. It was amazing.

To follow that, it's just going to be a hard gig. Well, don't follow it. Huh? Don't. Let it go. Or get a gig. You really can't. Godfather 3 was this close because the plot with the Vatican and all this,

it was actually okay. They were on to something. Noam, watch it. I want you to watch it and tell me what you think. I thought they did a great job with ream, watch it. I want you to watch it and tell me what you think. I thought they did a great job with re-editing it. The story makes sense now. What's it on? It flows.

There are some problems which I'm going to predict are not fixable. One is Coppola's daughter, Sofia. She's a terrible actress. They fixed it. They fixed her. And number two, Al Pacino, as you said, he seemed like the dude from Scent of a Woman. He did not seem like Michael from Godfather 1 and 2.

And you would never think he would forgive Diane Keaton for having an abortion. You know, he was a mobster. He didn't just go from mobster to fucking, you know what I mean, Mr. Nice Guy. I'm telling you, they did a good job. They fixed. They did somehow. I don't know if they re-edited the, you know, they keep pulling me back in. That wasn't so much this time for some reason.

I don't know if they put another version of it in, but they went back in and redid the whole movie, and it really- Maybe you can re-edit your hour special, Rich. I'm kidding. Whoa, look at that. I've been nothing but nice to know. I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

No, I know. I didn't want to say it to Robert because he's so sensitive. I'm not sensitive, you motherfucker. Why would you call me sensitive? No, I'm kidding. Bobby, where can we see The Godfather 3, the remake? What's it on?

On demand. Oh, well, listen, like I said, when you take a classic, leave it. Don't try to remake it. Well, that's the problem with when you talk about trains planes automobile the reason why as soon as you say you're remaking it and they're making it we're remaking with a whole black cast you're like

but the movie's perfect the way it is you want to just say go make a movie with those three people or those two people that's funny original like Eddie Murphy Eddie Murphy made all movie with those three people or those two people that's a that's funny original like eddie murphy eddie murphy made all trading places beverly hills cop uh coming to america yeah these

are coming to america is a black movie but everybody loved it because it was just at its fucking core a funny good movie and they're doing it much over and over again. They're doing a sequel with the same cast plus more. But you're thinking like an artist and not like somebody who's, all they're trying to do is make money. They would happily just have 90 minutes of blank screen if they could get away with it.

But you're not going to make money that way. Yeah. You're not going to make money recreating shit. It's the quick fix. What are some good remakes? Have there been any good remakes? Mutiny on the Bounty was remade pretty well.

I think Papillon was a semi-good remake where they had the guy from Sun to Anarchy. I didn't see that. They remade the Steve McQueen movie? Yeah, they remade it. Yeah, that was pretty good. And that was, well, a major classic.

Yeah, the guy from iRobot played Dustin Hoffman's role. Yeah. I got to see that. Homeland is a remake. I think Homeland is great. You know, remake of an Israeli show. What comedy did they remake and it worked? Did it work financially or work comedically?

Financially. Or comedically? No, comedically. Both. Look, Ghostbusters didn't do well. But the new one that's coming out, Will, the new one that's coming out with the original cast, I guarantee will do well.

You know, and like you said, if they're trying to make Planes, Chains, and Automobiles, if they did it with white people, it still would stay. You know what, according to Wikipedia, Ghostbusters, the remake, 2016, had a budget of $144 million and a box office of $229.1 million. That seems like a reasonable...

Yeah, but I actually liked the movie. I liked the movie, but a lot of people didn't like the movie because it was more... Ghostbusters 1 compared to Ghostbusters 2. Ghostbusters 2 sucked. It was just that type of movie. I can make $80 million with a remake.

I don't give a good goddamn if it's good, funny, or otherwise. Well, you do because you want people to say that was a great movie because then you can make three and make another one. They're not going to make another Ghostbusters now because of the reviews. The movie stunk with, you know, what was the movie with the two guys? Boy Break? No. Jeff Daniels and...

Dumb and Dumber. Dumb and Dumber. That remake, you know, I mean... Sucks. And it was with white people. It just stunk. It stunk, you know. And whatever.

I don't know. And it's also true the The generation now has not seen the classics. So they maybe are targeting a whole new audience, you know? Yeah. But the classics still fucking hold up. They still do. I mean, trading places, uh, Beverly Hills Cop, Ghostbusters 1, Trains, Planes, Automobile, anytime those, even the original Vacation, all that shit, I mean, still holds up. A Christmas Story still holds up. My Cousin Vinny.

Yeah, all of them. Yeah, all that shit holds up. So instead of remaking something that already was a hit, you're not finding the next script that's going to be awesome. The Generati Kid 2010 remake, according to Wikipedia, on a budget of $40 million, made $359 million. Yeah, it's funny. Listen, there's comics that you respect.

There's comics you don't. Some make a fortune. Some get invited on podcasts. We'll talk about good. I don't think we're talking about box office here, Dan. Yes, we're talking about. Of course we are, because that's why producers make these movies. No, that's not true, man.

You've got to understand, when you make one movie, you want to be able to make another one. But if you make that kind of money, you will make another one. A director would love to win an award. I think a good director is not about money. It's about... Can they make a movie like Airplane? The producer, the guy that's fronting the money...

You'll never be able to make Airplane. You can't make Airplanes. you can't make airplanes you can't make blazing saddle you'll get fucking fried yeah i was watching blazing saddle in my house the other day the the unedited and i shut it off i was like oh my god i was like oh my god even the tropical thunder now is people like oh you can't make it now it's like, oh, you can't make it now. It's like it's- No, you can never make it now. Oh, you know what was the worst?

You see the remake of the Bad News Bears? Oh, fucking terrible. Well, they took out all the good jokes. Oh my God. But you try watching that now and you feel like you really have to turn it off. The jokes, I mean, the N-word is hilarious. You have to, you can't, I mean, let's face it.

Comedies as we know it, I mean, even Stripes. Remember Stripes? When he just grabbed three women and ripped their shirts off in a mud pit? That's sexual assault now. It was then too, Robert, but it was. No, no. too Robert but remember the end of 16 Candles where Anthony Michael

Hall drives home the drunk girl and she's passed out drunk and he has sex with her oh yeah absolutely if you think about Wonder Woman I want you to think about this. The new Wonder Woman, I'm going to spoil alert.

Anybody who hasn't seen it, spoil it. Just shut this off right now. The way they bring her, the guy she loves back, he comes back in another man's body. So basically, she's using this other guy's body to bang. Okay?

So she can have sex with the guy from World War II. Yeah, but I... Or World War I, whatever. So basically, imagine that if that was reversed. If that was a guy and he was just, some chick just filled her body and just banging some chick who had a life, was living, and then all of a sudden Superman's just fucking the shit out of this chick because his love of his life is in her body. Yeah. It's kind of weird, right? When I have sex with my wife, I always think she's another kick.

What are you talking about? Sometimes I think he's Bobby, and I'll invite her. If you don't think Bonnie's not closing her eyes tightly while you're on top of her, you're out of your mind. She's thinking of some nerd from LA.

But do you know what I'm saying? Does that make sense? Like she's fucking some guy against his will. What do you mean against his will? Oh, well, yeah. His body was taken over against his will. Yeah.

Yeah. I didn't think of that. That part I didn't understand. I mean, don't get me wrong. If I was him and I woke up and I was banging, I'd be like, oh, my God, this is the best thing ever. Instead of my wife's Filipino boy ass. My wife's ass.

I'm waiting for Puerto Ricans to play handball Off it Prison You can get your wife's ass And my wife's ass And make fucking Fajita shells You can make a driveway

This is not appropriate, guys. What? Whatever. We're talking about our wives. Yeah. Old. Fucking. If I said something like that,

my wife's Puerto Rican. I never said that about her ass. But if I said something like that about my wife, there's just no way I'd survive it. Yeah, because you married a Puerto Rican. I married a fucking lazy Polack from Everett. She doesn't care. I married the meanest female comic in the business.

Yeah. Are you guys having trouble in your marriage, Robert? It sounds like you're... No, I'm having... Actually, I'm having the... I'm at the best... Right now, it's the best my family's ever been. We're having a great time. Except financially, I wake up in the middle of the night like this.

And then I have to go sleep on the couch because I fucking have to talk myself down. I know. I'm short. What I think from yesterday, I think you should open a comedy cellar in Aruba just to piss off. What's his name? Yeah, let me run it. I'll run it. There you go.

I don't think I want to open another comedy cellar, but I don't know. Anyway. Oh, boy, that really was a fucking depressing ending. All right. Well, there you go. We were so close to opening another one and I was kind of into it and then it all went up, you know. But you open in a new clientele, you know, like on different weather and different, you know.

You were going to open in New York another one, right? Yeah, we're going to open another one, a big one. We're going to open a big one in New York. We stopped. Thank God. Last night we were talking with Andrew Jarecki about doing more virtual stuff and maybe doing a Patreon where we have... I mean, listen, Jarecki about doing more virtual stuff and maybe doing a Patreon where we have... I mean, listen,

Jarecki is such a smart guy that if he tells me something is worth taking a closer look at, then I have to consider it because he's Andrew Jarecki. But I... Is that the guy that runs Stenet

in New York? He owns Stenet? No. The movie phone and then he directed Bumping Mics. He directed The Jinx. Bumping Mics. He's an Oscar winner. He directed or produced and directed Capturing the Freedmen. It's an old documentary.

Oh, yeah, yeah. And he won an Oscar. And he was the founder of Movie Phone. Wait, he also did Bumping Kikes? But he's also... He left me in a temp and Rich left. Finished. He's also a super smart guy.

I've known him through another channel. He was roommates with one of my really close friends in college. Do you guys remember the days when you didn't get laid? I think. You know what? The story is not... Hey guys, what do you want to do tonight? Let's get french fries. Getting up on this story is not worth

all the other opportunities. What do you want to do tomorrow? Let's get some pizzas. What do you want to do Friday and Saturday? Let's get french fried. What do you want to do Friday and Saturday? Let's get french fried pizzas and ice cream. We'll go to the movies, but I'm not going to fall for that popcorn thing again. There's too many fastballs over the plate for me to fit. All right.

By the way, outside Steve is here. You want to say hello? He doesn't prefer that. He doesn't like that. Yeah, where is he? That's why we're not. Hi, guys. There he is.

Hi, Steve. How are you doing, Steve? I'm holding up. He lives outside your house? I'm inside now. Where? In Noam's house. Is he living where you stay, Noam?

He's been here for a a month are you kidding me you haven't let me let me and the kelly's move in listen i told you you got to get a test and then you got to i want you to come over you got to get a test that's all you got to get tested you got to stay home for a week this is the rule our house you got to take a test my god my wife went over to drop off cookies i go how they doing she goes i don't know they wouldn't let me in the fuck she had presents and cookies and she went over there like yeah they made me stand in the hallway i couldn't go in i might not go in but you but you're on the road listen listen, listen. Hey, you took the cookies. You had antibodies, right?

I got antibodies. What does that mean? That means at some point you had COVID and we didn't know. And if we socialized with you, we could have gotten it. That's what that means. Yeah, but you don't socialize with me even if there wasn't a pandemic. Maybe take a good look at yourself since the beginning of the pandemic in march have you revised your thinking in terms of your

the risk of your family at the beginning we thought getting covid was really really a bigger risk than i think we now think it is for people our age. Look, I know people who got it. Here's the problem. The people I know who got it now, because I didn't know a lot of people who got it for a long time, but now I know people who got it. Giannis Papas, Colin, a couple of my friends. And when you get it, it sucks.

It's terrible. I mean, I stayed in the hospital 50 days for that. Wow. Yeah, okay. So, yeah, you guys, I mean, I stayed in the hospital 50 days for that, you know? Wow. Yeah. Okay. So, yeah, you guys, I mean, so do you want to get it? He's talking about his friends who had it. Go ahead, Ron.

Oh, friends. Oh, wait. And hot champ. You didn't mention me in friends. Thank you, Norm. Go ahead. Thank you. I don't even remember.

I don't even remember. I don't even remember you were friends with COVID. Hot champ. I was super sick for a month and a half. And I was the first one to have covid people that i know have it i mean it ran it varies some people kind of sailed through it without being too bad some people it was pretty bad um and and they can't figure i don't think they can figure out why some people wind up like no but in the beginning that we don't have enough information. I remember when I first had it in March, my doctors and nurses were crying because when you had it back then, it was over.

You know what I'm saying? It was, but now they have more information. Yeah. But I don't know how to treat it. Huh? They know how to treat it now. Yeah. They also know what, if you get, if somebody has this, what to do.

If somebody has these symptoms, we know what to do now. Exactly. They know how to treat it. Isn't there also a new strain now that's supposed to be much, much... Yes, they just... They find the first case today. Supposed to be more contagious, but less deadly, I heard Scott Adams say. Maybe.

No more deadly. It's certainly no more... No, it says less deadly, but more contagious, 70% more. Bobby, were you really sick when you had it? The first time, yes, very. You had it more than once? When I had it, I had the chills for like two nights, and that was it. No, but I had the Rams for deer uh i was in the tryouts

when it first came out uh so that made me feel okay for 10 days but after that it was boom but that saved my life that one i was super i was super sick for a month and a half holy jesus i'm getting nervous podcast the whole time you just said you couldn't smell or taste i couldn't smell or taste i I couldn't smell or taste. I also couldn't get off the couch. You were super sick, I don't think. I mean, well, I didn't have any. Listen, if I went super, if I got sick, a bad flu,

I mean, if you just told me I'm not going to die and I'm not going to have any permanent damage, then I wouldn't care about taking risks. But the thing is, even if it's like a, I don't know, a half a percent risk of- Permanent shit. Of intensive care care even not death intensive care which is one out of 200 right i mean i would not you would not catch me anywhere

near a car that had a one out of a 200 chance so it was serious car accident you know no fucking way hey it's i'll be terrified one out of 200 is not a risk i'm ready to take so when you take the when you get the vaccine and your whole family gets it, you're, you're going to go back out. I'm going to get a last because I'm the only white one in the family. But yeah, once I get the vaccine. Oh, yesterday in a podcast, when you open up, when we said that you weren't there because we said, because you're getting the vaccine and everybody, all the comedians in the beginning was like very mad. It's all because he owns a club. This is bullshit. I heard they're so far behind. But on another note, Hatim,

on my phone. Hatim. I said Hatim. He did, yeah. I sent this guy a text July 17th. That's my birthday. Go ahead. He just got back to me now. So sometimes people do take a while to get back to

you. I just want you to know that. So you can't blame Bobby completely. I sent an application to UPenn Law in 1992. I have not heard back. I just want to say one thing, just to end this with is like Bobby,

like Norm felt so bad and he was calling me like, this is how much he loves you. You know, that he really was taken, even though it wasn't his fault at all. And it wasn't even my fault, I think, but Rich, let the record people listening, Rich just up go ahead yeah but uh but no one was really was really upset and he wanted to understand what happened and all that because he really cared about you go ahead go ahead no now you can hang up i know i promise i won't hang up go ahead no that's it now that he's he's there, he's very sensitive, you know.

But, yeah, I don't think it was. Did Rich leave? Why did Rich go? They were just, it's a joke. You know, you speak, Hot Topic was getting poignant and they just hung up. Oh, okay. How did they do that? Yeah, they did.

Are they going to come back? No. No, no, this is it. They're not coming back? They're not coming back. This is the funniest story ever. No, I did want your opinion, by the way, about, which you didn't get to,

about the show Bridgerton, where they use black actors. They have sort of blind, well, only black. They don't have any Asians, but they use black actors to portray like English aristocracy in 1815. I think we should all leave now. Do you have any thoughts about that?

Well, I mean, if it's interesting, I mean, I'm not against it. It's a little, these things are a bit contrived, obviously. They're working backwards from something they're trying to do, which is for quasi-political reasons. Having said that, in the hands of a masterful or clever person, it might yield some interesting results you know so i'm not i'm not against it but i usually do roll my eyes the the uh justification hamilton hamilton did something i didn't see hamilton actually hamilton did it for

stylistic purposes this is just kind of like they figure okay we'll include everybody in this way if you're a black viewer uh this way you get to enjoy the show because you're seeing people that look like you and you feel included. But I do wonder if people are going to be upset that they're kind of whitewashing racism in that area. Like you're saying, oh, in this area, everybody got along and they might get complaints on the other end.

Well, absurd to present a story about Asians using white or black actors. I mean, the whole thing is absurd, right? I mean, but I guess you can do it. But when you do it, you're doing something different than trying to just do a straight movie. You're making some sort of point, you know?

Yeah. And again, I'm not against it. I'm really not. It's just, you know, it's, it's, it's contrived and maybe it'll work. I don't know. The one thing I want to, you know, when I mentioned Kilopatra with Beyonce and, and Angelina Jolie, like this is history. That's my point is like, you know, you can't say in something like she was Angelina Jolie kind of looking, you know, Elizabeth Taylor.

Listen, they tell you when they teach you literature at a young age, they talk about the first thing in a book they want is to take note of the setting. The setting. You know, medieval England, whatever the setting is, right? And the setting implies all sorts of things,

including the race of the characters, including the climate, the characters, including the climate, the architecture, all of it. If you want to show a picture of an urban setting and saying, and say it's saying, you know, Windsor Castle, you can do that, you know, but people know, well, it's not really, but you're just, you're doing something here that, and we can suspend our disbelief and maybe we'll enjoy it anyway, but it's not that. The point that I heard made about the show on Netflix that I'm talking about is that, well, people in 1815 England also had bad teeth and their hair wasn't perfectly done and they didn't- That's not the same thing.

You know, so I don't know if it's, you know, yeah, I mean- That's not the same thing. I've heard that point made, you know. But you don't buy if it's, you know, yeah, I mean, That's not the same thing. I've heard that point made, you know. But you don't buy that point, do you? No, I don't. I mean, when I watch it, I'm like, yeah, this isn't, this feels weird, but it doesn't inhibit my enjoyment of it. But it must be said that if it was, if the opposite were done,

a movie about, say, the court of the Han Dynasty, and it was all white characters or half white characters, then people would be upset about that. Well, that is the case, though. Now, maybe there's a difference. Maybe one is justifiable because this way you're including more black actors. They get to work. They don't have as many roles.

So this is nice. There is something interesting here that at some point people are going to talk about it. Black people are 13% or 12% of the population. And they certainly are the, the, the, the minority group that has the the most profound right to, you know, have resentment towards America, but they get almost a hundred percent of this consideration, but they, you know, there's just as many% of this consideration,

but there's just as many Asians in this country, right, as black people. There are a lot of substantial minority groups, and we're not jumping through hoops and changing things to represent all groups this way, only black groups. And at some point, other groups are going to say, what about us? What about us?

What about us? It's just an observation, you know, I'm really not against this stuff, but. I don't understand how nobody seems even the slightest bit perturbed that both of our guests just signed off without. First of all, we've been doing this an hour and a half. So if, by the way, if you want to cut out some of the stuff with Bobby and fighting fighting with hot tem at the beginning we have that leeway now because we have an extra half hour um that's what they do they do that that's what they do they say they hang up they leave they leave each other with the check at restaurants that's their shtick yeah you

know you don't know them i've known them for a long time that's their thing yeah that's the brand name that's their brand actually we used to do that all the time. Like you would ask something special. Like we'll ask somebody something that they really want to talk about. And as soon as they start talking, everybody just leaves. Okay.

By the way, this is interesting. So blacks are 12.3% of the population. Mexicans are 10.9% of the population. You combine them with all the other Spanish-speaking people, they're significantly more than black people. I think I was wrong about Asians, but if you mix Indians and Asians together, it looks like it's like 7% or 8%.

Indians and the descendants of China, the people we used to call Oriental, if you mix them all together as a group, which they're not really one group, but if you mix them together, then it's a significant population. And when you start thinking this way, then why aren't Mexicans getting their movie

where they get to play the English aristocracy. Actually, there's a lot of Netflix shows in Spanish now, like American Netflix, like Narcos and all that. There's a lot of them. Isn't it better just the fact that we all enjoy seeing stories about all groups now? It seems to me that most Americans are very happy to see a really good story about a black family or a black story or a black, you know, black characters.

We don't need them to play, to turn white stories into black actors. What I think would be nicer for our country is that we all enjoy seeing stories about all different people, right? True. all enjoy seeing stories about all different people people right true i mean the cosby show was a long time ago already and and that already established the idea that this was that america really was totally fine with this stuff i mean i would mention by the way that the show that i was referring to was an english show but the same point applies it happens to be an english show but um like that you know whatever but i think the point is yeah i mean you know yeah so there's this new there's

this new um cbs the new stream cbs streaming service they're making a series of the stand the stephen king with the stand and there's a character named tom cullen i think is his name i read the book uh and he's deaf and there's a controversy now that there's a non-deaf character playing that role. And actually I emailed this deaf guy, Tom Willard, this deaf comedian who's performed a few times at the Cellar and asked him what he thought about it. And he wrote me a really thoughtful email and he's bothered by it. He feels that, you know, deaf actors get no opportunities and he feels that they should have had a deaf character. Well, at least use a deaf jam character, a deaf jam.

You know, maybe, maybe Paul Mooney. Now that's not exactly the same thing because actually playing a deaf character, but I was, I thought he was going to say the opposite. And then he was like, no, it's just, I'm really bothered by this. They should be, they should have deaf actors playing deaf characters. Can a deaf actor do the same job? That is like if you're yelling out, if you're saying like,

okay, action, and he's standing there. I mean, I guess, you know. Yeah, I mean, first of all, deaf people can A, read lips, and B, sign. And just because you are deaf doesn't mean that you can't speak or interact in English. I know. I'm just wondering what there might be some logistical.

I'm sure it's a little more arduous to deal with that, but I'm sure it's easily, pretty easily overcomable. They have an assistant or whatever but but you know but spinning it out do i think that the jews and the camps and schindler's list needed to be played by jewish actors no of course i don't that's a little bit different though isn't it no why is it different i would prefer that they use non-jewish actors to play uh the jews you know, in Schindler's Lair. I always prefer when they have a non-Jewish actor, you know. The Hogan's Heroes were Jewish. Steve says that the Germans in Hogan's Heroes were Jewish. They were Jewish.

The Nazi, the Luftwaffe and the Nazis were Jewish in Hogan's Heroes. And the Klingons were Jewish. And the Klingons were Jewish. Yeah. I think like. James Spader once played a Jewish guy. I mean, I don't know who came up with that idea. In a movie called White Palace, James Spader played a Jew Jewish guy. I mean, I don't know who came up with that idea in a movie called White Palace.

James Spader played a Jew. I mean, that's gotta be the most, oh, and also Gregory Peck played a Jewish guy. That was a great movie, White Palace. I loved that movie. But I think if it's a period of history, it should be played by whoever. But if it's a character,

something like we talked about before, like James Bond, for example, that's, you know, I don't know. But it's not about the actor it's about it's about the presentation of the movie being plausible like one thing's that one thing that a good movie does in my opinion is that you don't find yourself um lifted from the moment taken out of out of the moment of the movie so you don't find yourself thinking about the production or the special effects. You're engrossed in the movie, but all of a sudden when you see a character,

that's just a totally different race or something. Immediately you're thinking about the making of the movie. But they've been doing this with white people. That's not a good thing for a movie. What? They've been doing this with white people playing non-white roles for decades. Well, they shouldn't do that. Like seeing a white person with makeup on their eyes to play an Asian is disconcerting.

Yes. For decades. Right. But so what's your point? So now that we should now do it for another few decades to get even? We as white people or white-ish or off-white or white-adjacent don't think about this very often, but you hear a lot from,

you know, there was an Asian girl I went to high school with and when that movie with Ali Wong came out, Always Be My Maybe, she went on Facebook and said, this is so great. And I'm like, I would never guess that she would have thought this way. And I've known her for decades,

but she's saying, finally we see a romantic leads that are asians totally people want to see yeah i mean i never thought of that like i see people on look i don't i want to i don't want to see a romantic lead that looks like me i'm happy to see a romantic lead that looks like brad pitt thrilled to see it but now you can argue that's not quite the same thing. Now, Hattem, you're a Middle Eastern fellow. When you see, you know, white, blonde people on screen, do you say, I wish it was somebody that looked more like me? I'd rather it be somebody that looked more like me on the screen? I think if it's a good actor, it's, you know, it's gonna,

it's the show, you know, it's gonna be put together. I understand that you're trying to relate uh to it but um no not really i don't i don't see it that way uh but however when i feel that need uh i watch porn because porn is very the categories in porn is very specific you know so you can be the lead if you want you know well yeah you can get porn you can also get um muslim women with i think burka's everything whatever you want, you know? Yeah. You can get poor. You can also get Muslim women with, I think burkas. Everything, whatever you want, but all there. Obviously they were obsessed with race in this country. I, I would like to,

I think the standard I would like is pretty simple. Nobody should be mocked for their race. Nobody should be making fun of somebody for their race. And other than that, I wish that these other things didn't matter. I wish that this whole concept of cultural appropriation would disappear. I think it's one of the most damaging things, one of the most damaging ideas out there. The most natural thing for a healthy America would be cultural appropriation, where everybody starts to be influenced and adopting the things they like

about other cultures it's crazy and you're a club owner and a business owner i mean like any comedian all you need to be is is funny and then you will hire him it doesn't matter what they are you know as long as they identify as the sex of their genetics yes yeah i'm kidding okay why are you shaking your head it It's a joke, Perry. Of course, I don't care. No, I don't know how many emails you get. And we've probably been through this on other episodes. But how many emails do you get from people saying, you know, I wish I would have seen another woman.

I wish I'd have seen another black guy. Yeah, we get them. Yeah. And I always tell them the only thing, care what you wish for it. Because the woman that I would have had to, you know, or know or whatever that you're asking for we we picked the best comics and if you had to sit through the the person that was available you would have seen a worse show you know i mean i think we're not short on women in the comedy cell for goodness sake goodness sake. Yeah. No, that's, okay. I think the point is, is that representation is important and people want to see people who look like them.

I mean, we were just talking about this the other day. I think it was with you about how they've started to make dolls that, you know, maybe are in a wheelchair or have one arm. Like Gabby Long Island women? That what? No, all the dolls look like- Like a Jappy Queens accent doll? No, those exist.

Those are plentiful. But you want- Yes, of course. It was handicap. Say, making handicap dolls. That's beautiful, of course. Yeah, it's great. It's great for a handicapped child toapped. Say, making handicapped dolls. That's beautiful. Of course. Yeah, it's great.

It's a great handicapped child to see. But yeah, that's the thing. They put these two issues together. Differently abled. What kind of monster would begrudge somebody, whatever the fucking word is, is word police, kill me. If you have a child who's in a wheelchair, what kind of monster wouldn't want that child

to be able to play with a doll in a wheelchair? Of course. That's crazy talk. But that's quite different than saying you want to do a movie about England in the 1600s that you want to have black actors. But if you're saying it's the best actor, then it shouldn't matter whether he's black or not, right?

Like you shouldn't even notice. But part of being the best actor is to look like the character you're saying it's the best actor then it shouldn't matter whether he's black or not right like you shouldn't even notice but part of being the best actor look like the character you're playing yeah you have to fit the role people have been successfully playing roles that are not white roles for decades what did steve say and and and you think that's mistaken. You think that was ridiculous, right? No, I'm not going to walk into this fucking trap. Hold on. Because you don't think you have to be consistent. You just think that you can win the argument by pointing out that something is bad in the past.

I mean, listen, Denzel Washington and Leonardo DiCaprio both are great actors and they can swap movies, but there's certain movies like Leonardo DiCaprio cannot play Glory, you know? It's just not going to be the same what are you laughing about noam what's going on in the background see i see you don't understand he can't talk to me all the mics on uh he says that perry all perry all is upset because she doesn't get to see enough fran that's high praise for nadirman that like you can barely stop the control i tell you something uh the the the show foda the israeli show you know foda did you see it it's in netflix foda it's a great show israeli show unfortunately but it's great i like that

and israeli active like they give arabic and even though israeli actors could play It's a great show, Israeli show, unfortunately, but it's great. I like that there's Arabic actors and Israeli actors. Like they give Arabic, and even though Israeli actors could play Arabic roles, obviously, because they look the same. But yeah, that's something I can relate to, you know, even though I don't like the parts. I don't care if Arab actors play Jewish roles. I don't think it's stupid. No, I think it's the opposite. Do you look at what I just sent you guys? Jewish actors play Arabs. I don't care if Arab actors play Jewish roles. I don't think it's stupid. No, I think it's the opposite.

Do you look at what I just said, you guys? Jewish actors play Arabs. I don't look at what you sent me. Hold on. You sent me... This is a list of the times that white actors

played people of color and no one really gave a shit. Like what? Okay, Angelina Jolie played Mary... But she looks like her. Marianne Pearl was very, very light-skinned.

I don't know who Antonio Mendez is, but the point is, is people, but people are against that, Perio. That's the point that Noam was making. I don't see anything wrong with Angelina Jolie. She looks just like her. Okay, so that's what I'm saying.

So what difference does it make? What, have a fucking DNA test? She looks like her. Why can't she? See, now, you have Mickey Rooney with, like, big buck teeth playing Mr. Inuyoshi. That's different. He's mocking

Asians there. Look at Katharine Hepburn as Jade. Katharine Hepburn as Katharine Hepburn. Natalie Wood looks fine as Maria. I don't remember Puerto Rican being a... is Maria. Natalie Wood looks fine as Maria. I don't remember Puerto Rican being a- Maria was what, Hispanic?

I mean, Hispanics can- Yeah, Natalie Wood couldn't look like a Puerto Rican? There's plenty of white Puerto- I mean, the whole thing is silly. Puerto Ricans love West Side Story. They weren't complaining about Natalie Wood. No, what are you saying? You're saying that people of color

shouldn't play white people or it shouldn't matter at all? I think you're saying- You're showing me people, you're showing me white people who are trying to pass. You're saying Angelina, who I guess is white,

who's playing somebody who looks just like her, but is technically of color. I have no idea who this Marianne Pearl is. That sounds stupid. It's Marianne Pearl, the journalist who was murdered. Okay, that's his wife and she was black?

I think she was half black, I believe. Half black. So, I mean, if you see the picture, it looks exactly, and I'm saying, well, that's fine. If they had a ebony black woman here playing Marianne Pearl, I'd be like, well, that doesn't look,

that just, that's not, it doesn't look like. Right. So I'm asking, what were you saying? Were you saying? What don't you understand? I'm saying that people shouldn't mock other races, number one. And number two, I think if you're trying to play a role and the role has a race, you should look like that race. So, but it, so it doesn't matter. You're saying.

Yeah. If you're, if you're, if you're supposed to be a dark Jew, a Middle Eastern looking Jew, and you're an Arab, I don't have any problem with that because it looks totally plausible on the screen. When I watch the movie, I'm not like, holy shit, do they expect me to believe that that guy's a Middle Eastern Jew?

But if they put some Asian guy up up there and say behold moses or something like what the fuck this is silly so you want to have an asian like a chinese looking moses i mean and then call me a racist because i think it's silly okay call me a racist what do you want from me oh shut up steve all right anyway i think it's we have plenty of uh if we want to cut any of uh robert kelly's um and hot tems uh you know johnny depp played tonto well i don't think people like that either at least that was very recent i don't think you could do it it wasn't that recent it was you know things change things move very fast in terms of those sorts of things but i don't i mean i would hope that people have a problem with johnny depp playing tell you look if you look at it it's

plausible i mean i do think has some indian background i'm not sure but i believe he um i guess what i'm saying is there's a history of white people playing indians but i think what's offensive about that is the way how how, me, one of them, you know, that the way they play the character is shallow and mocking and no Native American person could feel good about the way their people were portrayed on the screen. I don't think the issue is the DNA of the person who played the character. If you look at Johnny Depp, this is on a Huffington Post thing. He, you know, he just was, I don't see any issue with it.

I mean, I'm not, I'm not Indian. They don't like it. Then don't let them play it, whatever. But as a Jewish person who could imagine something similar, I wouldn't care about that. If he's a hero, if he's playing the character. I understand it's different because Indians have a history of oppression and genocide in this country. And of course, we want to be more sensitive to them. But we also have to have a future in this country where we get beyond prioritizing race in a way where even when people are doing something because they admire you,

you want to reject it and disqualify it. And that's a real problem for America. We're going to have to get beyond that somehow. Otherwise, a multicultural society cannot work. So, you know, I would err on the side of having a thicker skin about this stuff, so long as it's clear that the intention is nice and good and is not mocking and arrogant and bigoted, you know? Yeah, that seems reasonable. But I also think that in addition to that, it is important to give people roles who maybe traditionally haven't gotten them, like your friend? No, I think it's important to have more stories about different races and different groups because I think it's stupid to think that people can't enjoy them. I mean, I saw, what was the movie?

A Slumdog Millionaire, right? That was totally, who didn't love Slumdog Millionaire? What kind of crazy white person, like I can't enjoy this because they don't look like me. If it's a great story, it's a great story. I saw Sounder in third grade, and we were all white kids,

and we loved that movie. We watched it over and over again. Whatever. Okay. Are we done here? I guess so. Yeah, we're done. I mean, I'll just appreciate a goodbye from everybody

without just fucking signing off if you want to be in this business you're gonna have to understand comedy I didn't think it was that funny

do we want to do predictions for 2021 predictions for 2021 the first time you're gonna do it to somebody is gonna be so funny I'm telling you just do it the next time you're going to do it to somebody is going to be so funny. I'm telling you.

Just do it the next time you can. And you're going to appreciate it. Don't do it, Noam. I'm texting you. Hang up as soon as Perrielle gives her prediction. Perrielle, go ahead. What's your prediction for 2021, Perrielle? I don't know, but I just read that at the rate we're going, it's going to take 10 years for

everybody in America to get vaccinated. And what does that tell you? What does that tell you? You think we're going to be at the same rate? You think that the rate, the first week is actually going to be the rate that's going to continue? Is that really what you think? You guys go first. You guys go first. They told us we couldn't have a vaccine for years. Go ahead. Go ahead.

Hatem, what's your prediction? 2021. I think it's going to be great i think really we're gonna maybe two three months and things are gonna go uh back to as normal as it can be you know i think i think people are gonna um gonna be okay and business is gonna go back i think new york is gonna get back to what it should be and i think the flag behind you won't be recognized anymore. And more people will sign treaty with Israel. But yeah, I think I'm optimistic about this year. You know, I think things will be good. You know, just from a point of view,

like when I talked to my doctor about vaccine, he said the technology that they use in this vaccine is magnificent and it's going to help in a lot of fields. So I think we'll be okay. How come you haven't gotten a vaccine yet? There's no enough study about transplant. All right. Okay. What's your prediction is by May, we will have reached herd immunity and we will be at pre-pandemic levels in terms of, you know, the public will be back to normal. Unfortunately, a week later, NASA will have discovered a large asteroid heading toward

Earth and will destroy us all by December. Now, whoever is going to be, what color are the aliens going to be? There's no aliens. It's an asteroid. Oh, okay. But there's no aliens after that? Yay.

Periel. What's your prediction? I also don't think Hattem needs the vaccine because he had COVID. Yeah, but he takes rejection medicine. I don't know. Whatever, Dr. Ashenbrand. Go ahead.

Tell me. I think it's going to be great. I think we're going to all get back on stage and the cellar is going to open in the, I mean, I think like around April, I think when it starts to get warm out, it's going to, I think we just have to make it through the winter, a few more months. And I think that people... Go ahead. No, I think that people really need to follow protocol, though. I really do. I'm sorry to not be funny

and sound like... Did you say protocol? Yes. Protocol. It sounds like a character. No, but I think that people really need to wear their fucking masks and not be stupid. I really do think that that is something that... That's not a prediction.

Well, I already gave my prediction. But no one's making that point is now is it would be a bad time to get to die of COVID when we're this close to the... Like the analogy that I made about, you know, when they, when they declared that we're going to, World War I will end tomorrow at 11 AM and like 2000 people died between, you know, that, that, that agreement and the actual ceasefire that took place at 11 AM,

which I always found kind of interesting. My prediction is that a lot of marriages are going to break up as soon as they, they're literally going to break up as soon as they, they're literally going to go from the vaccines to the lawyer's office. I can't take another day with this bitch or vice versa. Sort of like a variation on the joke about pack your bags. I just won the lottery to pack your bags. I just got vaccinated. Can I do one more prediction?

I predict same, same day next year me and Robert Kelly is going to have another fight because he was not in the show the night before of the recap of 2021 alright and I want to say that Steve Fabricant's line, Steve Fabricant had the line of the night the Fran Drescher comment

wait can I get my prediction oh Steve has a prediction go ahead Stephen have a seat. Good to see you, as always. Hey, guys. Hey, Steve. How many times did Rich Voss mispronounce your name, first of all? Oh, he always does.

Yeah, but I think he's just goofing around. You guys all know me. You guys know I have great foresight. So what I'm about to say is my prediction for 2021. So listen, very care. Yeah. Okay.

All right. Is that the joke? That's what I'm the, that's my prediction. I guess that's a joke, right? He froze. Oh boy.

He, he was, he was so close. He was so close. He was so close. He was so close to coming out the winner and then he had to show

the beginner's look alright alright everybody he saw somebody do that and it worked it was very funny right you had to commit to it longer yeah

it was it also had to be like something much like okay the answer the the cure for cancer you know.

A greater import than his prediction. Actually, you're going to have to get Lou to edit this into a bite-sized episode. You can play the whole thing on YouTube. I keep trying to just scroll through and find that picture of me and Fran Drescher, but I can't find it. Well, it's a good thing we did extra time because I do think the half hour up front

was a little bit much. You can never tell what an audience member might find interesting, but it did seem like that fight went on a little longer than necessary. Yeah, I think that's it. Hot Tub. Yeah.

Your backdrop looked like a Pornhub by coincidence. You're the only one that got the joke. Oh my God, you did. Yeah, you know, I didn't even... Nobody got that joke. Four hours last night I was looking at that thing. It never dawned on me. Amazing.

How can you spend hours watching porn then? I spent hours last night doing the show and he had that background what's the longest you can go in a porn in a porn uh episode seven and a half minutes depends on the episode it depends on my you know i mean i might want to like sometimes you throttle it up and then you throttle it back. And then you throttle it back. And then you push the throttle forward, you know, and just to keep it. You put it on, you idle. Sometimes you idle, right?

You ever idle? There are never any surprise endings. Yeah, all right. Well, that's why you fucked him in the ass. Yeah, all right. All right, guys. I will see all right. All right, guys. I will see you later. All right, take care.

Thank you. Happy New Year, everybody. Happy New Year. Happy New Year.