The Comedy Cellar: Live from the Table - Krystyna Hutchinson & Corinne Fisher

Episode Date: June 2, 2017

Krystyna Hutchinson & Corinne Fisher are standup comedians and co-hosts of the wildly successful podcast "Guys We Fucked."

You're listening to The Comedy Cellar, live from the table, on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com. I have sex with my friends. You have sex with Harrison? We talked about that. We're not doing this again, I was just making a joke. But do you think he's straight? I don't remember. I don't think he's gay.

Oh, brother. There's in between. Good evening. You've joined a conversation already in progress about Harrison Greenbaum's sexuality. Great comedian. Great comedian. I try to bring up his name, you know, a lot. It's a little hot in here.

Can we get some AC, maybe? I got a blast in on me. We're in the Comedy Cellar. We're here at the Comedy Cellar show on Sirius XM Channel 99, the comedy channel. You want to introduce the guests, please? No, because I'm not that familiar with them. Stephen, did you send me the... Do you want to introduce them?

Flattery would get you everywhere. Send me the thing you're supposed to send me. Oh, sorry. So we have with us the co-hosts of... I ask him every week, can you please give me the introductions? I was like, does that have a lot to do on game day? But that's it. Go ahead.

We have with us the co-hosts of the Guys We Fucked podcast featuring Corinne Fisher and Christina Hutchinson. Wow. Hi. Nailed it.

Yeah, you did. Thank you. I was impressed. I was on the edge of my seat. We're also joined by comedy seller owner Noam Dwarman and comedian Dan Natterman.

So Corinne Fisher, you're the one that fucked Harrison. Yeah. Wow. Getting right into it. This is so boring, though. We literally talked about this for like 15 minutes the last time. Then we will move along. There is some comedy seller business I'd like to discuss before we get into the guys.

Go ahead, Dan. Go ahead, Dan. First of all, congratulations to the owner of the comedy seller, one of the luckiest men in the world, in my estimation. Lucky? When he says that, it's a dig. The most hardworking, I feel like, would be more appropriate. You're so blessed.

Doug sees the world, Dan sees the world on a scale of lucky to skillful. Well, if you're skillful, you're lucky to have skills. Lucky to deserving. Right. No, I consider skills being lucky. You're lucky to have skills. Go ahead deserving. Right. No, I consider skills being lucky. You're lucky to have skills. Go ahead. That's a different kind of luck, but go ahead.

Well, not only does he own a comedy club that's second to none. We should talk about this. So you're saying the luck of birth with skills or luck of birth with having a huge penis, but as opposed to the luck of flipping a coin or... If you're born with skills, you're lucky. That's part of being lucky. But you didn't mean I was born with luck. You meant I had the luck of a gamble.

I've always said that you're one of the... Not only do you own a legendary comedy club, not only do you have a great family life. You're right. Been up late. You don't know him. You okay? Well, yeah, I guess that's about it.

But that's a lot. Now, so he just became a father again for the third time. Now, let me tell you something. Mazel tov. When I became a father again for the third time, everybody was falling over themselves, being nice to who they are, to congratulate me, check in with me,

see how I'm doing, whatever it is. I came in, big hugs, bear hugs. Who barely acknowledged the fact that I had this kid? Dan Natterman and Stephen Calabria. I was saving it for the radio. Literally, I came in the first

night, I'd come in after a week. He goes, hey. You look tired. What's wrong? This is a few days that. He goes, hey, like, you look tired. What's wrong? No, no, no, this is a few days ago.

Doesn't mention it. No, congratulations. Not literally, not a congratulations, not a handshake. I mean, I know he doesn't like to touch, but not a handshake,

not a hug, nothing, zero. Why, Dan? And then, Calabria too, like he's a,

did I get any of my, how's the baby? Nothing. Well, what's wrong with you guys? Familiarity, familiar, familiarity, familiarity. Fam you guys? Familiarity. Familiarity.

Familiarity. Familiarity. Familiarity. It's all right. You've been up with a baby for a while. Familiarity truly breeds contempt. Okay, Dan, you want to go with this one first? Well, there's a couple of factors.

Number one is I don't show my emotions easily. Number two, there was a problem. The baby was born prematurely. I didn't necessarily, if there was a problem or an issue could you not spill my

that's personal well you asked the question but you know I didn't know if everything was 100% okay but it is so radio silence I mean do you think if the baby was actually like really in trouble that he would just be like showing up like everything was fine to work

it's an interesting point. First of all, he's full of shit. I've been posting on Facebook pictures of the baby. Here's my healthy baby. He's totally making that whole... Thirdly, I do my best... The first answer is a real one. He's flawed.

I do my best expression of emotion on Facebook, and I believe on Facebook I did say something nice. I believe I liked your post about having a baby. That's your best expression? That's all I got. He can't take the intimacy of a one-on-one and say, hey, congratulations, give me a hug, friend. Yeah, look me in the eye and say thanks.

That's right. He can make a joke or a funny thing on Facebook, but that's really just performing. Why the wall, Dan? That is true. Well, that's a long story that we don't have time for that. Sorry. I will say, you posted... Oh, we have time.

You posted Manny singing, I want to hold your hand to your new baby, Benjamin. Oh. And I posted Manny just broke the cute meter. Yes, you did. Now, what more do you want? I mean, okay. I don't understand, though. That's a pretty good post.

I don't also like having really intimate conversations in real life. But a congratulatory thing like a baby is easy to address. It's not like a death in the family. Right, because that's uncomfortable. Yeah, where it's uncomfortable. Like a baby is the least uncomfortable. Yeah, and it's so easy. It's like, yeah, you did it.

I was an inhuman. Yeah, you know, what can I tell you? I have to work on that. I'm moving on. Well, I'm not having another one. Puerto Rican wife notwithstanding, I think this is my last one. Only three?

Only three. Well, three is a lot for a man. She's a slacker. She did have one with a previous dad, though, so. She pushed her out four. That's a lot. Also, I did.

Now, what's Stephen's excuse? Oh, well, we can talk about that Well I've been on vacation For three weeks Oh oh oh I was busy in vain I emailed you several times Hey congratulations

I can't wait to see him It's gonna be so great I'm gonna see him on Saturday I can't wait I saw one email like that Several His signal was bad Number one

Number two Stephen I may have to retract My thing with Stephen Because I was such a whirl When I didn't keep up With all my emails Right Oh okay Unless it was something To argue about So I may have to retract my thing with Stephen because I was such a whirlwind. I didn't keep up with all my emails. Right.

Unless it was something to argue about. So I might have missed Stephen. It's not like him. Right. Number one. Number two, when you walked in here just now, I was speaking with our guests, and you walked in late,

and so we had to immediately get on the radio show. I haven't even had a full-on conversation with you since I got back from vacation. But the first thing I said to him was, congrats on the new addition to your family now. It's that easy. You know, what the fuck? I love you, Steve. Anyway, this is the last time I expect anything from my friends. But anyway, the baby is fine.

He's 35 weeks. Now, for those of you out there. I mean, 35 weeks since conception. He was born's 35 weeks. Now, for those of you out there. I mean, 35 weeks since conception. He was born at 35 weeks. Now he's 36 weeks today. But there are all sorts of statistical chances of delayed milestones, delayed development, learning disabilities. There are potential problems with a late-term premature birth. Okay. What's that?

Yeah, but isn't there always a potential problem? No. I know there's one specific to, but I know people have kids that are born in nine months that have... It's a frequency thing, yeah.

If one out of a thousand full-term babies have dyslexia, maybe three out of a thousand late preterm babies. And it gets worse and worse the earlier you go in the age thing. So I'm nervous about it. If dyslexia is the worst that can happen, though. No, no. Listen, I'll tell you what I'm worried about. I'm worried about even one less, one fewer IQ point.

That's, for a Jewish dad, that's like just... I was going to say, that's such a Jew thing. I was like, are you worried about it on his behalf or your behalf? Well, you know, by all accounts, we're entering in a world now where IQ has never been more important. Where robots are going to be able to do virtually everything. You're talking about my children, you know, 30, 40 years. Right, when they're having children. Or he could be really hot.

That could also work out. Oh, yeah, if he's hot, who cares? No, no, even that, they have robots for that too. And I think that, so, you know, I'm not saying I'm any kind of a genius, but I was always pretty smart. And being smart allowed me to have a particular lifestyle where I could be my own boss, make my own decisions, lead, and be respected as having the merit to lead an organization, whatever it is, as opposed to being a guy who has to report for work at 9 a.m. and hope his boss likes him and doesn't want to get fired.

So I don't want that for my kids. Not that people who have that life are unhappy. As a matter of fact, as Dan always says, and I think he's right. Happiness is probably just something that you're born with. Nevertheless, nevertheless, I would like my kids to be smart enough to be able to chart their own course.

That's great, but that's something that can be taught by a father who's doing that. Well, there's a certain... Some people are just smarter than other people. You can fix it. But my dad always instilled the work ethic in me since I was a kid, and that's something that he taught me. I wouldn't have done that had he not taught me.

You need three things to succeed in this world. Obviously, raw IQ, very important. Hard work. And not being mentally ill. Which I guess goes into... That's why two out of three, Dan. I know, I was just saying.

Well, no, I got one out of three. But hard work and mental illness go hand in hand. If you're mentally ill, you don't usually work very hard. There's some people that are not. I think that's bullshit. I have OCD and it makes me work extra hard. Okay, so you don't have to... I have anxiety.

My anxiety is a fire under my ass. I guess it depends on what you consider to be mentally ill. I mean, anybody who runs for president to have the bravado and the confidence in themselves to think that they can be the leader of the free world. I think that's why all this is pushing him to the top. Why is everyone shitting on confidence, though? See, I don't think that's bad. I mean, yeah, in the case of Donald Trump, it is.

But I don't think like, so you think like Barack, Barack Obama was just, like, so fucking cocky to even think that he could be president? I think you have to have a certain level of cockiness to believe that you should be the most powerful person who has ever lived. Yeah, but cockiness and confidence are different. Also, the president is not the most powerful person that's ever lived.

You could argue. Well, certainly not. Julius Caesar was certainly more powerful. But Julius Caesar didn't have nuclear weapons. I hate to say it, but I think Stephen's right. Adolf Hitler for a time was more powerful, perhaps. Again, he also did not have nuclear weapons. He did not have trillions of dollars. Chemical weapons.

Well, I mean, there's few people who've ever lived who literally, I mean, something could intervene, but have the authority to end the world. You know, I mean, that's an amazing thing. Now, I'm reading a book by Judith Rich Harris, I can't remember her name, called No Two Alike, and I'm also reading a little Steven Pinker and another book, The Reason to Have More Children.

I don't know, but all these books, state of the art, describe the state of the most current research. And all of them say that virtually everything about us is in our genes. Our parents have almost no impact on us. Whatever environmental impact there is, it's mostly from our peers and our socialization in the world. That if your parents were able to instill a work ethic in you, it's because you were born with the ability to be a good worker. If your parents had lots of books in the house, that doesn't make you smartest because they were smart and you were born smart. Even happiness, depression, you name it, it's all in the DNA.

And Charles Murray, although I know he's a bad word, but he's written a lot about this. So it's very, very either depressing or gratifying, but really, I my kids need they need the raw IQ. Well, thankfully

for your kids, it's a double-edged sword, but they have a father who has certain resources that can make sure that they're never dying in the streets of hunger. I don't know if I have... I don't have that kind of money. I mean, they could get themselves there. Well, I think you have the not-dying-in-the-streets-of-hunger kind of money. I mean, I have that.

Yeah, but most people have it. Not-dying-in-the-streets-of-hunger money. For an heir? Like, for a descendant? I mean, for like a year, yeah. For a year, yeah. No, for a lifetime of zero. I don't have the money that a child who did not work could live with. Well, I'm not saying he's not going to work.

He could come work here for us at the Comedy Cellar. He might run it right into the ground. What would you do if he... Can we talk about guys we fucked? Yes, please. Sure. Can we just have a few words? And we discussed it last week on a...

I did an episode last week with a transsexual and... On the debacle. Did you hear the episode, Noam? No, I was afraid to listen to it. Well, there was absolutely nothing... Apparently, she complained that she didn't... She thought that I and some of the other guests were very rude. And she didn't want to air it.

So it didn't air. But then she said you can air the first 45 minutes. In any case, we talked at the end. You see a pattern emerging here, Dan? What pattern? Nobody else has asked us to not air an episode. Not that pattern, no. The pattern of people leaving here kind of like

PTSD. Well, I invite you to listen to the episode and you tell me if I said anything rude. Fair enough. Yeah, but you have to be a little bit more sensitive when talking to someone who's transgender. Life is not as easy. We interviewed her.

Yeah. And when I asked her about genital, anything like personal. Also, you're a woman so you can ask her these things more easily. No, but even I was like,

do you mind if I ask you about your body? We approached it correctly is the answer. She said you guys were making sophomoric jokes. And that's not funny. Well, we weren were making sophomoric jokes. And that's not funny. Well, we weren't making sophomoric jokes

at her expense. If we were making sophomoric jokes, which is kind of what we do, it wasn't at her expense. What's the worst thing that you recall being said that she might have been offended by? Really, I was with kid gloves. I asked her about the effectiveness

of the surgery with regard to her vagina, whether it was fully functioning and fully sensitive. I think that's a relevant, interesting question. We asked a very similar question, so the fact that when we asked her, it didn't bother her, and when you asked her, it did, that tells me...

No, no, no, we interviewed her. We asked her. No, before. You don't know that that bothered her when Dan asked her, you're presuming. Well, I'm saying that. No, I'm saying we already asked her those questions and she was fine with them. I can imagine Dan asking that question in a way that would just rub me the wrong way. You just got that tone.

Well, I think that maybe because I'm a man that you think that. No, because I think that there's a way to approach it with respect. You've got to listen to the episode. Let's put it this way. Yeah, I do. Steven was there. Well, I wasn't there, but I heard it. Let me ask you.

Do you think that regardless of who was hosting the show, this person would have come away with exactly the same feeling? I think if it was Noam hosting, it would have been even worse. Absolutely. Let me just be honest. Because Noam is very, very brutal with certain topics. Well, did you do any research on transgender people before you conducted the interview? Because just because you're transgender does not mean you're open to talking.

Just because you're transgender does not mean you're open to talking about your vagina or your penis or whatever the hell you have going on. Well, I believe Emma asked her. Like, can I ask you about your dick? Yes. What's your dick like? Of course you like it. It's about seven inches on a good day. Are you sure going on. Well, I believe Emma asked her. Can I ask you about your dick? Yes. What's your dick like? Of course you like it. It's about seven inches on a good day. Are you sure?

Yeah. Okay. First of all, I just... Who the fuck cares? But we're comedians, so it doesn't really matter. I totally threw... She's not, though. I threw Dan under the bus in the email to her, just so you know.

I totally threw... Big time. Were you CC'd on it or no? No, of course not. I was not CC'd. No. I said... I think I ended the email with, apparently class is more difficult to assign than gender.

Oh, that's a good line. That's a good line. You should be a comedian. That's clever. That's a great line. I like that. That's an intelligently written joke. Yeah.

Well, listen to the podcast. I think Noam would have been far worse with her, to be honest with you. Just Noam. I'll tell you why I wouldn't have been. How so? And you haven't heard the podcast. I haven't heard it. So please listen.

And of course it's possible. It's not like I've never offended anyone. Believe me, I was respectful. I mean, I bent over backwards. Next week on Guys Be Fucked, we're just going to dissect everything that you did wrong during this interview. Please do. I'll tell you what worries me about it, and then we'll get on to the guys they fucked since the last episode. The brunch, if we could, briefly.

This is what I think. Of course, when you're on the show and you want to make it entertaining, and part of being entertaining is a little jowl. And you want to maybe antagonize the guest a little bit or ask the difficult questions. Otherwise, it can be dull. However, what you sometimes don't seem to have,

and I'm not sure this is true, you don't seem to, it doesn't mean you don't, is that I think I know when I've upset somebody or they've had enough of me. Like, sometimes, Steve and I were dealing

with this guy. I'm like, I don't know, he's had enough of me. You can gauge. dealing with this guy. I'm like, no, no, he's had enough of me. You can gauge. I have that sense that, and that doesn't mean I'm necessarily going to back off. But you get to the point where they had enough.

I don't think I would have been oblivious to the fact, as you seem to have been, that she was uncomfortable and insulted. And I think if you, at the point you realize that, maybe you wanted to continue or not, but I didn't hear from you that, you seemed to be surprised that she was upset.

I was surprised. There were moments I felt she was uncomfortable. I backed off at those moments, but overall I thought it was a decent interview. Emma Willman, okay, Emma Willman,

she was the other guest. She has a past. She's a lesbian. Emma Willman wrote me an email. I sent you the email. You probably didn't read it. I didn't read it. She said that was a a lesbian. Emma Willman wrote me an email. I sent you the email. You probably didn't read it. I didn't read it. She said that was a great interview.

Emma Willman is a sex-positive comedian. Yeah, but she left. She said the woman complained that it all went downhill after Emma left. After Emma left. I didn't say anything after Emma left. That's when Keith Robinson came in. Maybe it was Keith. Maybe it was Keith.

Well, that was what this guest was complaining about, was that after Emma left and these other two people came on. Who were the other two? Liz and Keith Robinson. Liz was? Who's Liz? Liz Ferriati, the general manager. Oh, who works here.

Should we get Liz? So this guest was saying that after Emma left, who I guess was serving as the anchor for the conversation, and these two other people came in, according to her email, she said Dan lost all control, and then it became very hostile and antagonistic. I did lose all control. Now, by lose all

control, she doesn't mean I lost control of myself. She meant I lost control of the podcast, and that is true, because once Keith sat down, it became the Keith hour. Okay? So that's what she probably meant. Not that I did anything bad, but that I couldn't control Keith. As far as Liz Ferriati,

the only reason I brought her in was to talk about the brunch show. Okay, so should we talk about brunch? I'd like to talk briefly about the brunch show. And then the guys we fucked. And then the guys we fucked. Thank God. And there'll certainly be ample time for that.

Yes. So I don't know if the brunch segment is going to get cut off because she wanted last week's show to be the last 15 minutes to be cut off. And I think that's when we talked about brunch. But we have, I say we, known brainchild, inspired by Sypha Sounds. Not inspired by Sypha Sounds.

Oh, shit. I was talking about this two years ago. Very well. It's all known. It was one of the things we were waiting for when the kitchen was built to have brunch. Perhaps, what, spearheaded by Sypha Sounds? No, it had nothing to do with Syphus Sounds. That's just coincidence that he happened to...

He was in the room. Fair enough. Now, we have a show here every Sunday. I love Syphus Sounds. I'm just saying, but it had nothing to do with Syphus Sounds. When he wanted to do it, I was happy because it gave me the opportunity to test something out that I'd wanted to do. Go ahead. Okay, well, it was your decision then.

But there's a new show every Sunday at 1.30, The Brunch Show. Now, who would have thought? Hams and eggs. I like it. Bagels and yucks. Go ahead. Well, we're not calling it that, but locks and laughs. But every Sunday, 1.30, a show at brunch, a comedy show at brunch.

The first of its kind, as far as I know. Maybe it's been done before. Who knows? But apparently, I haven't been to it. Did you go to the brunch show? I went to it last week. I was really aggravated. The stand has a brunch.

The stand has a brunch. The stand's brunch. Are you kidding us? Is that a joke? Does the stand have a brunch show or just a brunch? A brunch show. Oh, they do have a brunch? Yeah.

Well, how long have they been doing that? What's the structure? Brunch and show. First you eat brunch, and then you go to the show. It's a comedy show. It's like dinner theater. Yeah, but with brunch. Brunch time.

No, you want to go? I'd love to go. The brunch there is phenomenal too. They got good French toast. Alright, so I guess it's not an original idea, but you made it your own. But it's still good. It's a solid idea.

But I wasn't there. I'd like to know how it turned out. Well, it's been sold out both weeks. Nice. Apparently the shows went great. I was a little aggravated with the lemony hollandaise sauce. To tell you the truth, it put me in a bad mood. Too lemony.

Oh, that sucks. It was really aggravating, and the avocado toast wasn't toasted properly. Oh, my God. So it was just bread. It was avocados on bread. Yeah. Yeah. Did you have that too?

No. Oh, so. So. But other than that, I mean, and then no, you want. Is this interesting to anybody?

So like I was talking to Esty about it. I'm not sure if I want to. Is this interesting? This is the stuff of great podcasting because this is the inside comedy

selling shit you'll get nowhere else. OK, so this is it. Now I see the girls we fuck, or the guys we fuck, girls looking at me with some skepticism. This is way more interesting than your sex life. So I'm not sure if I want to continue doing it because it's working the staff to death.

I went into that kitchen. They are working like dogs. Because you're selling a lot of brunches. Oh, my God. I've never seen a kitchen working like that. Well, that means you're selling a lot of brunches. I've never seen a kitchen working like that. That means you're selling a lot of brunches, so it's successful. So hire somebody? Liz having to work a seventh day

and SDR. You're running them thin. It's really imposing a burden on a lot of people who work for me that I'm not sure they want that burden. I have to do an analysis of the money. You can't hire more people? Yeah, but I'm not sure they want that burden. So I have to do an analysis of the money. You can't hire more people?

Yeah, but I'm saying at some point, clearly it's profitable. But if it's not extremely profitable, I may stop it because I think that it's just running the people ragged who work here. And that, in the end, is going to be not good for your boss. I just feel guilty. You can let your slow son, Benjamin, run the brunch show one day. He's not slow. He's medium. Anyhow, but what I wanted to know, what a question I had is.

I wish the listeners could see Noam's face right now. Yeah, he's got good faces. Noam, he's laughing, but part of him is not so laughing. But I would like to know if the demographics are any different for the brunch show. Now we're getting into some interesting territory here. Now, ladies, you didn't want to follow me into this line of reading. Apparently, the demographic, I thought they'd be very touristy, but they haven't been. A lot of New Yorkers.

Define touristy. People who are here from another city or state. New Yorkers always need a new place to have brunch there's not enough brunch and then why not

do brunch with comedy that sounds great I would go it sounds fun this show this club is notoriously light on the African American clientele

notorious I was going to say notoriously wow I haven't I mean my I wonder if the brunch show

when I was talking about this last week there's how many African Americans are at the brunch show, and I was talking about this last week, how many African-Americans are at the brunch show? Don't say it like that because it sounds weird. I just don't feel it. How many African-Americans are at your brunch show? I don't associate African-Americans with Africans. Black people are all from Africa.

But that's because black people are inviting you to brunch. Black people have brunch all the time. I live in Harlem. Brunch is way more fun. Brunch is all black people are inviting you to brunch. Black people have brunch all the time. I live in Harlem. Brunch is all black people in Harlem. You just don't go to places where black people go because you're you. Yeah, Dan and I does not go to Harlem brunch. You're not allowed in those places.

You think we have more African Americans or fewer African Americans? For the brunch show? My guess would be until I was set straight by these young ladies that African Americans are not down with brunch. Oh, God. No, that sounds so wrong. Naomi Ekperigen has a great joke about that.

Oh, she does have a great joke about that. Yeah, she loves brunch. And that's her point. Naomi Ekperigen has a wonderful joke about this misconception that black people don't like brunch. She's like, no, we fucking like brunch. And then she was like, oh, it takes white people to move into my neighborhood for me to get some Eggs Benedict? Fuck you. Exactly.

Alright, well, they haven't. They needed white people to get the Eggs Benedict roll. That's fucked up, though. This is what I don't understand. You already said we have, and I don't like that at all, that we're notoriously known for having few African-Americans. That's not true. I don't think you are. But, so, fewer than few. The audience,

to me, when I look out at the audience, I don't see overwhelming numbers. One of my favorite nights here was with Cuba Gooding Jr. I'm going to speak frankly about what that is. Go ahead. Speak frankly. But the guys we fuck may not like it. Because I have experience with this. No, we like it.

I have experience with this in other clubs, in music clubs too. When a club is not doing well, it starts to look for ways to drum up business. And one of the things it often does is start taking on niche themes. LGBTQ, I always say. And the problem with niche themes

is that the club gets a reputation for being for that particular crowd. Whether it's Hasidic Jew or Koreans. Who the fuck club has an Hasidic Jew theme? Well, I was obviously just trying to not say black people. I don't want to actually name the clubs

but I believe that at least one of the other clubs has really mined the African American audience to the point where it's become a destination for the African-American community. And they find that they have a large African-American clientele every night of the week. It's a comedy club. Comedy club, yeah. And I think that's because they present so many comedians that appeal

to an African-American audience. And by the way, there are black comedians who appeal to a wide audience like Greer Barnes or Keith Robinson or whatever.

But there are also African-American audiences who really appeal very much, like if they headline somewhere, it's really 100% African-American for whatever reason.

Dude, well, no Spanish comics will like, oh my god, they draw like crazy. Or Margaret Schull. Or Mody. So in any event, I don't think

that we have a few African-Americans. I think we have just probably the normal African-American number that any general business has. 10% of the population, 10% of the, whatever it is, I don't know. But I think that you're comparing it to maybe some other comedy clubs,

like Boston Comedy. Boston Comedy was known to have a largely black crowd. I don't know why, what they were doing there, but it became a place. Crowd or comics? Crowd.

And comics too, but it became like. Well, comics probably wanted to perform there a lot because those are better crowds to. And maybe it means that when you're a minority, you seek out places where you know there'll be many of you there. Yeah, I was going to say. You feel more comfortable in some way. And then it kind of just builds on that and becomes more and more.

But whatever reason, I don't think we have no fewer African-Americans here than I notice we have in the restaurant or I notice when I go to other restaurants. This was so long. What an HR talk you just did. It's making you seem guilty. I know. How bad do you feel? I just want to let everybody know.

I want all the African-Americans in this world. Marina's over there. What's that? Marina's over there. Why don't we get her? She never likes to sit down. Marina. All right.

Marina, we have an African-American question. Oh, my God. Please, I'm serious. He really does so. It might be rude. Marina, please. One question. Marina, please.

First of all, Marina. See, this is why white people are the ones who make black people uncomfortable in spaces that are larger than us. I feel uncomfortable. I know. I couldn't be whiter. I know. No. Marina, one question.

Marina, I just... She's not feeling it. Why is she upset? I don't know. I don't know. Maybe because you screamed out a very American question. That's not why she's upset. She just wants to see you twist in the wind.

I don't know if she's upset or not, but well. Why would she be upset about that? Somebody called me, hey, we have a Jewish question. I wouldn't think twice about that. I figured they're talking about something they want to. Hey, Jew face, we have a Jew question for you. Hey, Jew nose, come over here and ask this Jew question. Come here, Jew Jew bee.

You want to pick up this penny for me? So it brings us to the Guys We Fucked podcast. Oh, what a transition. Yeah, that's never been like a later topic. No one's really not happy about Marina not being here now. Especially because I just

big-upped her on a magazine interview I did. Maybe she didn't hear me. And I think I'm going to have to call him this afternoon. Oh, she heard him. It's not out yet. I'm going to have him

take it out. I don't think Marina ever likes doing the podcast. We've asked her, and she always says no anyway. Well, maybe she wants to field questions that are not specific

to African-American. Maybe she wants to be places where there are other African-Americans. Kind of like how a transgender person doesn't want to be asked exclusively about... Sorry, go ahead. I think it may be that we haven't asked her to be a guest in a while.

No, we do. No, no, to be like the scheduled guest. Yeah, yeah. She's always busy. She's always busy. All right. Go ahead, go ahead. Anyway.

Guys, we effed. Go ahead. Fucked. We can curse on here, right? Well, we effed. Go ahead. Fucked. We just did. I had some other topics I wrote in shock. We probably won't have time for it. Can you read the topics to us?

The topics are Roger Moore for 100. Baby. Brunch. We discussed baby and brunch. Manchester. Brunch. Uh-huh. We discussed Baby and Brunch. Manchester. Yep. You know, and Coffee Fee.

Coffee Fee. Coffee Fee. I'll take Coffee Fee for 500, Dan. Coffee Fee. Coffee Fee for 500. Mm-hmm. I don't have a question handy, but if we have time, we'll get to some of these topics. But let's get to the...

What do you want to know about Guys We Fucked? Well, tell me about Guys We Fucked, because I know you've done this show before. Are you a listener, Stephen? I am, yeah. Occasionally. Are you a subject? No. No.

This is not exclusively about... I'm not her friend. If I was your friend... Yeah, I only fuck my friends, as we discussed earlier. You don't just discuss guys you fucked on the Guys We Fuck podcast. No, we branched out. We branched out. Well, how many guys have you fucked?

Your brother's coming. We don't reveal that, because then you'll know when the podcast is going to be over. Yeah. Okay. Because we're still trying. There's still a couple guys we fucked that don't want to come on just yet, but we'll get them. Is there anyone? I don't have a concrete number.

How many guys that you fucked have been on the podcast? Like 15 for me, maybe? You have 15 guys? Probably 11. 10, 9 maybe. 9? Yeah, I fucked more comics, so they were like, yes, free press. And when I started stand-up, I was dating someone the whole time.

Otherwise, my number would have been jacked up. Mine was reverse. I fucked everybody. What number do you consider, if any, to be, if you heard it for a woman of your ages, your young lady. It's not different for women and men. I already hate where you're going with this. What number would you consider shocking? None.

Okay, well, that's an answer. But many women would not answer that way. Many women would find a certain number shocking. What number do you consider shocking, Dan? Many women slut-shame one another. Well, it's not a matter of slut-shame. I don't use the word slut, by the way, because that's a pejorative word.

You just used the word tranny. I didn't use the word tranny. I used the word tranny. Transsexual is not the right word? No. Transgender, okay. Just take that out of your... It's not pejorative, though.

Just take that out of your vocab. The fact is, if a woman told me she had had sex with 300 women, and she was, say, 30 years old. 300 men, rather. She was 30 years old. But 300 women. Totally cool. Well, in either case, I would not call her a slut, and I would not look down on her.

I would be shocked, because that's shocking. That's a fucking lot of dudes. Well, that's like a tiny... I would be impressed with her time commitment. How the fuck did you find time to fuck all those people? Because Gene Simmons, that's why I'm always so impressed. I'm like, just the time that you dedicated to this. Well, he advertises the whole way.

He's also on the road a lot. I don't believe that a woman that has sex with 300 men and is 30 years old, I don't believe that this is a woman who is without certain issues and problems. I don't think that's normal behavior. I don't call her a slut because of it, but I would say she should probably look within. Well, sometimes people fuck to fill a void. But that's not male or female.

That's both male and female. Yes, I know men that have fucked a shocking amount of women. How many women have you had sex with, Dan? It's a very low number. It's a very low number. It's a very low number. I did a recent count. I did too.

And I forgot a lot of them. I have the official sheet at home. I don't have it with me. But I believe, going from memory, the number is approximately 26 non-remunerated and four non-hookers and four remunerated. Okay, talk to me in dumb people terms. That's also not a low number. 26? That's not a low number.

Lifetime total of 34 of which were for pay. Oh, okay. Who cares? That's approximately what those numbers are. Is this the number of people you slept with? That is correct. Okay. He said it was very low, and then he said over 30.

No, I said approximately 30. I thought you were going to say like six. I thought you were going to say like three. Because you prefaced it like you were going to say six. Listen, I'm a dad. That's very, very low for a 40-something comedian. Who is dazzlingly handsome and charming. Oh, I thought you were a little younger than you are

too. Wow, 46? I'm a dad. You look amazing. And you're correct, and I thank you. Holy shit. If my 20-year-old... And you look very... I don't know how old you are, but you're gorgeous. I'm 31. Thank you. If my 20-year-old son goes out

looking for pussy, I'm like, alright. If my 20-year-old daughter starts looking out to bang a different guy every night, I'm going to fucking freak out. And why is it different? Yeah, but that's – Because that's the way God made it. Okay, Donald Trump. God has nothing to do with it. It's your fear because you know how dirty men are because you are a man.

That's what it is. I'm joking. I'm purposely putting it that way. You don't want somebody doing to your daughter what you've done to some women. What I'm saying is not totally contradictory to science, evolutionary science, natural selection, that women are supposed to be, by nature, more particular about who they sleep with than men. Supposed to.

If you look at Backpage.com. This is white Dante Nero over here. You see thousands of ads for men looking to pay for sex. You don't see a whole lot of ads for men looking to pay for sex. You don't see a whole lot of ads for women selling their pussy. That's because there's a stigma surrounding that. I would pay for sex.

Not because there's a stigma. If a woman hired a male prostitute, there is certainly a stigma. If your daughter hired a prostitute, you would think totally differently than if your son hired a prostitute. Yes, because I'm saying, yes. That's fucking.

But you guys do have to agree, right, that there is a difference. This is John Laster, everybody. Yeah, John Laster here. Go ahead. No, but you know what? Like, take, for example, and I do think that, because I hope I don't come off sexist or you guys scratch my eyes. Who cares? You'll come off how you are.

You are how you are. It doesn't matter. Here's the thing thing though, right? And I've said this. My best friend was a strip club DJ for years. And I've always said if you put a male strip club

next to each one of those strip clubs, they would be empty. Women don't have the same appetite that that lust. Strip clubs are always going to do good

because guys are like that. If you put a male strip club next to each one of those strip clubs, they go out of business. No, because... Are like that. If you put a male strip club next to each one of those strip clubs, they go out of business. No, because... Are there differences? Would you agree with that?

Male strip clubs are... Would you agree with that? The type of people that work at male strip clubs are not cartoonishly... Exactly. They're cartoonish. It's Magic Mike.

That's not what I want to fuck. I don't want to fuck this fucking cartoonish muscle guy who's just like, I'm going to wiggle my dick in front of her and then she's going to give me a fuck.

Yeah, but that's what we want to fuck. But women are also too smart. Not us. We're better than that. We're too smart to go in and pay. It wouldn't be meaningful to us.

I never wanted to do it. So then you're making my point. There's a difference. There needs to be some meaning. Of course there's some difference, but I would certainly have hired a male prostitute and that is unfortunate

that they're not affordable male prostitutes. Male prostitutes exist but they're thousands of dollars. You have a boyfriend? I can't remember. I do, yes. You have a boyfriend too? Yes. Shit. Okay. We're not gonna As soon as you don't have a boyfriend for some reason, I will pay to

do the episode where I pay for you to go to a male prostitute. I would love to. Oh my God, please. Give that to me for my birthday. And I will. The sky's the limit. Rolls Royce male prostitute. Rolls Royce male prostitute. There's not, there's like not that many things that they're all the Rolls Royce because they're only several thousand. I just want to say one thing before we go back to that.

I would love that. John Lasseter said a second ago, I don't want to appear sexist. And it occurred to me, like, if I'm with a bunch of like guys and we're talking about something racial, I will say like And I don't want to seem racist I will say that I've never heard a guy ever say I don't want to appear sexist

Yeah I know Unless there were girls there Yes because And that's a kind of condescending bullshit But that's a kind of condescending bullshit That I hate No matter what you want to say Because look

And nobody ever says Buddy I can't believe you said that What are you sexist? Like people say That's racist Joe But I don't need that fucking warning. That's an accident. You know, that's sexist, John.

I don't want to talk to you anymore. I'm going to say something. It's the heads up that you're about to say something terrible. That usually does preface something terrible. It usually does.

I have no black friend, but anyway. I'm going to say something I don't say very often. I don't want to be a sexist. Good point, Noah. Okay. Oh, thank you.

Yeah, but you don't have to give us a fucking warning. Just be what you are. Who are these fakers? But you know what? But the thing was, you guys did agree, though, that those clothes

would go out of business if you did. I just get annoyed when men feel like they have to walk around eggshells when they talk about male-female issues of like chivalry or rape

or any fucking issue that has to do with sex. Yeah, very opposite of the spectrum. But I hate when guys are like, all right, now you might get mad at this lady. Oh, fuck you. Now I'm already fucking mad. Talk to me with sex. Yeah, very opposite of the spectrum. But I hate when guys are like, alright, now you might get mad at this lady. Oh, fuck you, now I'm already fucking mad. Talk to me like I'm a person.

Not on some sensitive, delicate goddamn flower. Who are these men that refuse to have sex with you unless you can cough up a thousand bucks? Or two thousand bucks? What is it called? Angels and... Oh, Angels and Cowboys and Angels. Oh my God, there's so much. Look up the website.

You'll want to hire one for yourself. So who are these men that you want to have sex with that you don't know, but you want to have sex with them because they physically appeal to you? Oh, I'm sorry. She's a squirt. If I'm reading you right,

these are men that physically appeal to you, but you have no connection with beyond physical. Well, they're escorts. I don't want to say this is legally, it's not a prostitution thing. An escort, obviously, we're not going to date. We're not going to be like, what is this later, right? So then I automatically all that pressure is off me.

And I can just be my, let my freak flag fly with this sex worker because this is his job. Freak flag fly. It's a standard safe guy. Physically, what does a man have to look like for you to want to This is his job. Freak, blight, blight. Yeah, I took standard stage violence. Come on, Lester. Physically, what does a man have to look like for you to want to have sex with him with no emotional connection? I mean, he doesn't have to be jacked.

He just has to be, honestly, humor is much more attractive to me than looks. So you're going to put that on your Craigslist ad like a joke? No, because then people will run with it. So you're saying that these male hookers are all hysterical. Oh, I have no idea. I've never hired one. We could have hired them. I have two questions. You say you want to hire a male, but you want somebody that's funny. I don't want to fuck an 800-pound dude.

I'm not going to be attracted to that dude. Can I interrupt? Can I have two questions? Absolutely. We'd have to know him. The first question is, and then his answer, and I want to get to my second question. Is this about coffee feet? Go ahead. I believe that men,

and men will all agree, we seek strange. We want strange pussy. It doesn't, the new, it's strange pussy. New, new,

by new. Like, like just, like midget. Yeah, but I want new dick, We crave that. It's so exciting.

Because it makes you feel alive, right? Whatever, it makes it, it makes, that's right. Me too, new dick.

Just like marriage makes you feel dead, yes. Yeah, sounds feel alive. Me too. Just like marriage makes you feel dead. It makes you feel alive. Sounds like it. Now tell me. She feels dead too. It's fine. Do you guys crave strange? Yes.

Do you crave strange? Not as much as she does. Okay, next question. We'll get back to it. We'll put the two questions together. Next question is, last time you were on the show, I remember this.

You said that the least important thing about a man in bed was the intercourse. Can we roll the tape? Yeah, I was going to say, can you roll the tape? I need to hear that back. The least important thing about a man in bed? I was going to say, what makes a man really good in bed? And you said, well, the least of it is the actual intercourse. It's everything leading up to it.

Oh, like foreplay and stuff. Foreplay, the romance, all of the feeling, the emotion of it. How are you going to get that from a sex worker? No, no, no, no. The feeling and emotion. Emotions and sex

are very different. But they're professional charmers, those asked words. Oh, really? I'm sure they're real charming. Have you watched? Do you think it's fucking Roger Moore in his prime?

Were any of the women you paid to fuck you charming? I'm sure they were. No. Really? Really? Are you just saying because you want to age

and act as very charming? I'm sure they were. Two of them did not speak English as a native tongue. They had to make it fun for themselves, Dan. They might have been charming in Korean, but I'll never know because I don't speak it. You're so big. That's how you get it straight to sex. When they don't even speak English, that is all sex. But women, too, I like the idea of a male sex worker because I can treat

a man, I'm paying to treat a man like an object. Now, to me, that doesn't mean I hit him or I say it non-consensually. It can mean that. Yeah, I mean, I would love to hit him if he's cool with it. I would absolutely. But that's the opportunity for me to treat a man like a fuck doll. And that sounds fun as hell. I think you're all talk.

Oh, my God. No, I would love that. Is your father dead? I hope he's dead. No, he's alive. He's a retired naval chief. This has nothing to do with our dads. I hope he's dead. Poor man.

Our dads are both... What the fuck? Does he listen to this? He doesn't listen to me talk about sex, but he knows about the podcast. He knows what it's called. He thinks it's great. I have nothing but...

I always say the word is respect, but women can get their freak on as much as they want, and a woman that just wants to get out and get some dick I got no beef with but I think a lot of you are all talk you say it

and then you're like I think so too Dan I don't know how am I all talk what does that even mean like why also I'll tell you why you're all talk because all of us

that had relationships with a girl like we're gonna be fucked buddies whatever it is like one time you get to it by the third time they're a historical crime

yeah but you're fucking the wrong people that's why we host this podcast if they're not emotionally damaged yes and then the crying the third time, their historical crime is really important. Yeah, but you're talking to wrong people. That's why we host this podcast. If they're not emotionally damaged. Yes. And then the crying comes

and then how come you don't call me? Well, there's some other things that come in. When a guy says we should all see other people, it really means he's going to see other people

and she's going to wait. Yeah. Also, the emotionally damaged card. dozens of times. No, no. You told us at the beginning

of this episode that you would treat or look at your daughter differently if you did the exact same thing as your son. I didn't get to ask John the question about

the African-Americans. Are you coming back, John? Oh, wow. We have another African-American question. No, I want to ask what Dan said about the club.

Go ahead. But you're saying you would look at your daughter differently if she did the exact same thing as your son and then you're telling me that, oh my God,

I hope your dad is dead. Well, that was a joke. I'm just saying for a father to hear that is just, it's just, I'm not saying it's fair. It's upsetting. Like your daughter, if you made it very clear to her that you view her as a precious, pure angel and your son can do whatever the fuck he wants, it's fine. Because he's smart enough to know what to do with his own body. But that's going to fuck up your daughter. And there's someone with daddy issues.

Right. I don't think so. I mean, that was pretty on point. Yeah. Honestly, I felt pretty good about that. That's an interesting point. You're saying if we tell our daughters, look, go ahead and get yourself some dick. That they'll do it and be happy doing it.

No one wants to hear that from their... I think it's weird when dads say that to sons. I think it's weird. I don't want to talk about sex with my parents unless it's like... But don't treat me like purity is my value. And by the way, let's not. Let's not. I think it's weird. I don't want to talk about sex with my parents unless it's like... Don't treat me like purity is my value. And by the way, let's not. It's an interesting point. I'm not sure it's correct. I gotta stop you there because it's actually unfair

what you're saying because we both know mothers are the same way to their daughters. Mothers tell their daughters, you sit on that, don't let anybody see it. I can't tell you... Yeah, but so we can't blame it on the mothers. Mothers, just like fathers, expect their daughters to be more discriminating about sex.

That's why women have issues. I don't know how you guys were all raised, but this is why you're all fucked up in the head. Your parents had

antiquated views. My parents certainly did not raise me like this. What did your parents tell you about what you should do for sex? They didn't tell me I should do anything.

What did your fucking parents tell you? In other words, there's two ways to go on this. The parents can say, you know what, to their sons, it's not good to be too promiscuous. They didn't say that to either of us. I have a brother. Or they can say to the daughter, fuck as much as you want.

They shouldn't say either of those things. It was always body positive, sex positive. I mean, always clear. Horm your kids with the knowledge to have safe sex and to say, if you feel good about your decision that you're making with your own body, be safe about it. Use a condom. Don't be a fucking idiot. But nobody uses a condom. Come on now. I use condoms. I've been dating the same person for six years. With casual sex, you certainly use it. I mean, I don't use condoms

with my boyfriend. Nobody does. Very few people do. That's gross. What? Gross or not, if people don't... Everyone, I... Keith. Casual sex. I've had a lot of casual sex, and we always use condoms. Always. because that's safe. That's because I respect my own body and the other person's body, so I don't know what the fuck you have.

We're coming from different generations. They've never heard of casual sex without a condom. I've heard of it and I've had it. But if it's smarter, I don't care. I mean, that was the argument. We're saying most times we're using a condom, though. Does sex for a woman feel better without a condom? Yes. Now, describe that to me, if you could.

Good question, then. I've heard that said, but it doesn't make intuitive sense, necessarily. Well, how does it feel for you? You can feel plastic in your vagina. Well, because it's obviously better. There's a barrier over your penis when you wear a condom, right? That's correct. Same with the woman, because your penis is inside that vagina.

The woman can feel the barrier as well. Last week's guest said she couldn't tell. I mean, you know... There's a lot of, by the way, this new thing I've been reading about. Well, she has a cavernous pussy. I forgot the words for it, where a guy takes off the condom and puts it in, but doesn't tell the woman he took off the condom. Rape?

Yeah, that's... That is non-consensual. The women can't tell. Oh, he left. But the women can't tell. Oh, he left. But the women can't tell, generally speaking. But that is still so fucked up. Sexual trickery? I'm not saying it's a good thing.

I'm saying if the women can't tell, that sort of negates the point about it feeling significantly better or noticeably better. What's your point? I'm saying for the average woman, does it feel noticeably better without a condom? In my personal opinion, it does feel noticeably better without a condom. I want to ask you a question. I want to know how far you go with this, what I think is not quite... Obviously, I'm not advocating taking off a condom. The one time...

Can you just interrupt me whenever I say... Go ahead. That seems to be my M.O. and I'm working on it. Go ahead, Noah. How far do you go with this, what I think is not actually a totally sincere point of view. Do you think that when a guy gets a girl drunk and has sex with her?

Or Bill Cosby thing. Gets a girl drunk? What does that mean? Forces her to drink? Plies her with liquor. Knowing that she's... That's tacky and sad. Now, do you feel that that's the same outrage as when a girl...

Outrage? It's just sad. It's pathetic. Well, it could be criminal. But do you think it's the same as when a girl gets a guy high and has sex with him?

When does that happen, though? Do you think that... When does that happen? I'm just asking. If I poison your drink... Do you think that if you have sex with me at gunpoint...

100%, that's rape. I'm raping you. I raped you. Do you think that's the same crime as if I have sex with you at gunpoint? 100% that's rape. I'm raping you. I raped you. You think that's the same crime as if I have sex with you at gunpoint? You think if my fifth grade teacher

had sex with me, that was such a weird transition. Had sex with me, would I be traumatized in the same way you would be if your fifth grade

male teacher had sex with you? The difference between men and women is because of parenting is the high five son fuck a lot of people. No, daughter, do not fuck anybody. So you're not going to answer my question.

They feel physical size and power. Male students feel better about fucking the female teacher. You don't think there's something innate and more traumatic to a woman about having sex when she doesn't want to? When they don't want to? But no, okay.

When they don't want to? No, it's when it feels like force. I mean, that's why people talk more about male and female rape. I would come into work, I'd tell the story, high five, and get out on my day. No, you wouldn't. No, you wouldn't. But you know what? You're smarter than that. The other thing, though, is

I say this at least once a week. No, I'm not smarter than that. But I don't think you could rape a guy because our dicks wouldn't be hard. Well, mine would. Your dick would be hard to rape. When you're young, you can manage it. Even if you're not attractive, you have to, you will. There's other ways to rape a man. If I shoved your dick and you were saying no into my mouth, I would be raping you, whether your dick was flaccid or not.

Yes. That's rape. Can you imagine the horror of having a girl give you a blowjob when you didn't want to? Let's go around the circle and say what rape is, because you guys don't fucking know what rape is. And it's infuriating and scary, honestly. Why can't you acknowledge there are differences between men and women?

There are differences. I'm busy thinking about how none of you grown men know what fucking rape is and it's infuriating and scary. You just said a man can't get raped. Like what? You're blowing my mind right now. Who said a man can't get raped? No one said a man

getting raped by a woman would be less dramatic. I don't know if that's right or wrong. That's specific to the rape survivor. We know female rape survivors who are like, honestly, I'm okay with it. I will say this. Unimaginable to me that a woman that puts my penis in her mouth without my consent would provoke a lot of outrage on my part. That's what I'm saying.

Yeah, because no one's put your penis in their mouth for a very long time, probably, but that's different. Well, what if it was like a really unattractive, older woman, like an old woman? A woman that you truly did not want to have sex with. First of all, it's been a few months, I'll grant you. Oh, that's not bad. I don't think we need to get hostile, as I feel that your comment seemed to be tinged with a certain degree of animosity.

Can we pause for a second? Hold on. Can we pause for a second and just ask John the question? John said, I mean, Dan said that he thought that the Comedy Cellar had an inordinately low number of African-American customers. Do you think that's true? He's just worried about his business. At the shows, I would say, not up here. At the shows, there's a very low number of black people. Do you think we're doing something to's just worried about his business. At the shows, I would say, not up here. At the shows, there's a very

low number of black people. Do you think we're doing something to cause that? No. Take down the no black side. I think that some of the other clubs have catered to niche black comics, and they've built up an African American clientele. And I feel like we just have a regular clientele. Yeah, because I think

when I'm hosting on the weekend, there might be on the weekend, the whole weekend, maybe four or five black people. But I know a lot of times there's no black people at the shows, because I think when I'm hosting on the weekend, there might be on the weekend, the whole weekend, maybe four or five black people. But I know a lot of times there's no black people at the shows, but I don't think that there's any intent whatsoever.

I've never thought that. That's never crossed my mind. Yeah, man, I know what we would do differently. Yeah. Well, what's the audience, what's the breakdown of like tourists, non-tourists?

I'm not even sure. Because a lot of tourists are from countries where they would be white, like Europeans. So then that also would affect the numbers. Are you saying black people don't travel? No, I'm saying that the countries that people travel to New York are not usually countries where a lot of black people live. We don't get a lot of tourists from Africa.

Exactly. But we get some. We get Nigerians from time to time. But like now, downstairs at the show, there's two black people. Yeah. Yeah, so that's it. Out of how many people right now? A hundred and what?

How many in the seat downstairs? A hundred and fifteen. Now, John, as long as we have you here, what about African Americans and brunch? And brunch? Is brunch a thing in the African American community? You know what? It wasn't, but it's picking up. So I wasn't completely wrong.

It's picking up. You seldom are completely wrong. Yeah, it is picking up. So I wasn't completely wrong. It's picking up. You seldom are completely wrong. Yeah, it is picking up. At least according to John Laster. It was big, though, man, when I was in Fort Greene, Clinton Hill, before it got super gentrified. There's no black people there anymore, but I'm talking about maybe 10, 12 years ago, brunch was big. But I mean, it was a bunch of young black people making good money. We were all making at least $60,000, $70,000 a year.

That's another variable. Brunch is expensive. And unfortunately, so financial status will affect it. Good point, John. It's a middle class thing. I will say about John Lasseter, sexually speaking, he was a Big Ten, I believe it's called, basketball. I'm not a basketball fan, but a Big Ten, was that what it's called? Yeah, we did.

Basketball player. He smashed so much ass. A lot. Of the highest quality. The grade A. Wait, you played college basketball? Yeah. I didn't know that.

You are tall, though. Yeah, so it was a good look. So, you know, I don't know what that has to do with what we were discussing. You should try to pump your friend up. That's nice. Thank you for letting us know. I can't believe I'm the odd man out because I don't want my daughter banging a lot of guys. Like get drunk and banging a lot of guys.

I don't want that for her. I don't think anyone wants their daughter getting drunk and banging a lot of guys. But I don't care if my son does it. Call me old-fashioned. My son gets drunk and bangs a girl. Old-fashioned is not the word. Hypocritical is the word. Women don't know what they're doing, and they shouldn't be doing it, but men are fine.

I'm one of the last honest men, all right? Any fucking guy who comes on the show and tells me they disagree with me, they're fucking full of shit. I'm telling you that right now. No, you did mention that maybe I lack the capacity to feel when I'm putting a guest ill at ease. I certainly feel that now, especially when she mentioned that comment about not having had my penis in a girl's mouth. It was an LOL. Oh, it was an LOL? Okay. It was an LOL.

I know I don't work here, but I do do stand-up comedy. I got it. All right. But I do feel that there is some legitimate hostility coming from this end of the tape, from the opposite end of the tape. Well, I'm riling them up. I'm pushing buttons. I would be nervous if my son slept with as many people as I had.

I would be nervous. You know what I mean? I feel like I've been fortunate to- What's your number, if I may ask? No, you may not ask. On a scale of a matter of minutes, it's a lot. if I may ask? No, you may not ask. Wait, wait, wait. Can I point something out? You asked if you could ask John

the number of people he slept with, but when you were asking about Kate's genitals, you just went right to it? I might have said if I may ask. I don't know. All right. I have to re-listen to the tape. You took nice caution with that.

And I'm like, I feel like that's what you didn't do. Now I have to go listen to a podcast. And I don't want to do that. Well, you certainly don't have to listen to it. But I know I have to now. I'm curious. I will. Did you tell them your number?

My number is very modest. Yes, I did. You know. You know exactly how many of these are. I did a calculation. I did a calculation. So it's like you keep saying it's modest. I'm like, no, it's not.

It's not modest. It doesn't matter, but it's not. What's modest? Five. Two? This is 30-something. Mine is modest. I'll tell you, 26 is not a terrible number.

That's 26 partners. No, no, 26 partners. But Dan's gross number, like how many times he's actually had sex. It's 28. It's like 28, yeah. That's the problem. That is a big problem. That's really where the... They're in line to go. That's where the statistic is.

A lot of one-hit wonders. But it is a modest number. One-hit wonders are great. It is a modest number considering you're talking to a comedian. And by some estimationsations a fine comedian. Some. And even Corinne said, who looks very young. Yeah, you do.

You look great. Looks great. Jews are not even known for aging well. Good comedian, looks great. I didn't say she didn't say good comedian, though. And in his 40s, 30 is a modest number. 30. Approximately 30.

John Lasseter laughs at that. That was funny. No, I didn't laugh. He's howling at me. Sorry, you fucking brute. No. Lasseter is howling at me. No, I just.

That's a low number, though, right, in your estimate? Who cares? I would definitely say that. Look, this is a thing. I don't care. It's just a fact. I had a girlfriend one time I lived with for five years. I think we had sex like 2,000 times in that five years.

Did you have like little dash marks? She used to keep track of it. And in that five years, my number was like one. One. What's your overall number? Wink, wink. I don't know what the number is. How many women have you had sex with?

Probably similar to yours. A little bit higher, but not much higher. But I've had long relationships. You know what, though? I shouldn't think that because I had a roommate in college, and I remember him asking me how many women I had slept with that year because he was a little like, whoa, dude. But I remember asking him, and when he told me,

I had the same feeling as when you said 30. And then I was like, you know what? I have been lucky. No, no. I mean, just I was like, you know what? I have been lucky. No, no. I mean, just, I mean, you know, sports. And let me tell you this. Let me tell you this. I'm not even saying, I'm not even crediting myself.

I found that most of the numbers were because I didn't jack off until I was much older. If I had jacked off, I probably would have slept with 30% of the women I slept with. Number two is if you have friends who have a lot of women around, you're getting... So there were some nights that I wasn't really trying to do anything and my boys were like, yo, man, I got these chicks.

I got these chicks in my room. Or these chicks are downstairs. John, you got to come help me. So I was doing shit constantly. John, you got to come help me. You have to. I was back up I have to fuck him? John, you got to come help me. Do I have to fuck his shit? You have to. I was backup. By the way, what percentage of these women insisted on a condom? I did because I did.

Well, let me tell you. I was always, my greatest fear when I was younger was to have a kid early and have to go back to the hood. So I was super condom guy. There you go. But what percentage of the women do you think required it? I think it's going down. Women like successful guys. So now they're like motherfucker, if you knock me up, you knock me up.

You know, it's going to work out. But I think that back then I, no, I believe that. There are women like that. I'm not even sighing at you. I'm sighing that that's even a thing that exists. Yeah, but I mean, I think that I was super

condom guy back then. What percentage now would I say? 30. 30%. Require a condom. 20. By the way, there's just an article in the I think it was the New York Post

about all the vasectomies going on in the Hamptons because all these rich guys are trying to get pregnant. It's in the newspaper. All the women want my feed. I gotta get my corn cut. Listen, you can't make it less true by making fun of it.

It's just an article. What can I tell you? There's a lot of guys. Another way to solve that is just stop having sex with random chicks. Maybe it's your fucking phone. Not you. But you, Hampton's guy. I don't want to

antagonize you women. You don't? I don't want to antagonize you women. Let me tell you why I don't want to antagonize you. I'm just telling you how I feel. You men., you women. Well, let me tell you why I don't want to antagonize you. I'm just telling you how I feel. You men. Like, I'm telling you what I feel. Yeah, and we hate it.

And we're stupid. I'm telling you what I feel and want for my children. I'm not judging you if you guys want to bang anybody you want. We're judging you, though. We're judging you, though. at least I factor into my view of the world trying to monitor what is the latest in biogenetics and science and evolutionary science and sociobiology and all these things, what they tell us about normal sexuality

and how it differs between males and females. And I'm wondering if you guys are even interested in that. Well, I think that it's dangerous to say that blanket rule. Because there are women who fuck or were scumbags than the scummiest dudes I know. I would never say a blanket rule. Everything is on a curve. I know that. Well, yeah, but then why are you assuming that your daughter should not be out having sex?

Like she doesn't know what the fuck she's doing or she doesn't know what she wants to do with her own body. But your son, you're like, oh, you know, I trust you. Yeah, maybe your daughter was born with an insatiable sex drive and that's just like, maybe she's a magic vagina. Good for her. I'm jealous. I laughed very hard at you. No, they're talking about if your daughter had an insatiable need for sex.

She had a magic vagina because some women do and you know what? Good for her. If she takes after her mother, I don't think that's sex. She had a magic vagina, because some women do. And you know what? Good for her. If she takes after her mother, I don't think that's likely. So I don't know. I'm just kidding. She might not. What if she takes after you?

Do you like women? I love women. I'm just trying to be funny. I have a question, actually. So Noam, as we know, is a father. Three times over now. Three times. Do you think it's possible that

if you were to have children, if and when you have children, that your ideas and thoughts about this issue will have evolved? I'm not saying that anybody's right or wrong. Yeah, I think that's impossible to answer because I don't have kids and I know that having kids is so much

different than not having kids. Just from talking to people and having a child, everyone reacts differently. But also, me predicting what I'll be like when I'm a mother is kind of pointless. Can I ask you, how, if in any way, have your opinions on this issue evolved since you had children? None. That's what I thought. Okay. Evolved to me says gets more progressive

and then the views that we're talking about seem to, would be for me, regressing. Listen, on the contrary, I mean,

this is just about sex. Like, I'm a, what's the opposite of a sexist? A regular person. A non-sexist? I don't know.

Whatever it is. No, feminist. Dumbies. Feminist is the opposite. No, that's not true. No, it's not the opposite. Yeah. Sexist.

You can be sexist towards men. There's feminists that are sexist towards men, and that's why they give us the bad branding. Yeah, feminist just means equality. It just has a female sounding word. Sexist means not equality. But anyway. No, sexist means you favor one gender over another. Like, I like women because they're not stupid.

In any event, I'm women because they're not stupid. In any event, I'm a feminist, and I want my daughter to be able to have every single opportunity in the world exactly no different as my son. Except for a ton of dick. No, she has the opportunity for it. I just happen to believe that based on 54 years of experience actually

living with women as a man, but with women, that women's sexuality is different than male sexuality. And if I see that my daughter's sexuality is missing those differences, I will worry about her.

Or whatever it is. So if your daughter's DTF all the time, you're going to be concerned. Yes. I think the main thing is always safety. I mean, that's what I care about most with the people who listen to the podcast. It's like, are you having sex safely? And that includes alcohol intake, condom usage, going to safe places, knowing who you're having sex with.

And also, too, when someone writes us and they're like, I sleep with a guy at night and I don't care and I get drunk every time and whatever. I'm like, whoa. That's not what we're promoting. You're not being responsible with your fucking body. I'm not responsible, not responsible. Let's presume that God comes down and there are no more

STDs in the world. I want to take that off the table because that's not what I'm talking about. But let's just presume. I'm talking more pregnancy. Let's just presume STDs and pregnancy are no longer an issue. So the end of the human race. I know. That is just that I think that. If you could press a button and not get pregnant.

Just for the sake of argument. Let's just narrow it down. Let's control for everything. Just to psychology. The male urge to just get off, use a woman as a vessel for sex. Like, you know, which is nothing to be proud of, but it's in us. Yeah, but I feel that with men. Yeah, it's in us, too.

And we've been hiding it because we get called whores. That's why we'll do it from time to time. That's why we'll just stick on the door. Will you really bang three different men a day if you had the opportunity? Absolutely. I banged two in a day. It was great. And I got called to sleep by someone

but I still to this day I was like am I supposed to feel bad about this because I don't. I feel proud that I multi-tasked. You would have to believe

that all the difference in the huge difference in the sex trade in the sex industry and all of that is to do with stigma. But sexuality is progressing that's why we're talking

about it being fluid now. There's not these vast differences. Hold on. The reason that they take young women into sexual slavery for men, but don't take young boys into sexual slavery for women. All these things. No, they take young boys into sexual slavery for other men.

That's right. Because it's a power thing. Women don't want to do that. Wait, men are different. We know that. Yeah, we're not saying that they're not different. So you would have me say that all of these, the prostitution difference, the pornography difference, the sex trade, all of it comes down to stigma. That's the only explanation you're giving me.

No, no, no, no, no. And I'm calling bullshit on that. No, no, no, but it is bullshit. Let me finish. I'm saying that you look at the sex trade, you look at prostitution, you look at Craigslist, you look at all of that, and what you see is a tremendous difference between the sexual behavior of men and women. And if my daughter is like a man, meaning she'd like to get some young male prostitutes, and she wants to call hookers. Yeah, but that's not unsafe. And she's out looking for handjobs on Craigslist.

Well, that's perfectly normal. I'm going to say, you know what? I'm not going to feel as normal. But you think if your son was looking for handjobs on Craigslist, you're like, oh, it's normal. Let me tell you something. He's going to be looking for handjobs on Craigslist. I guarantee it.

That's fucking weird, dude. That's not safe for anybody. It's not safe, but that's what men do. No, it's not. That's such a boys will be boys mentality. I know so many men who have never done that. Most men I know have never looked for a handjob on Craigslist. Yeah, Harrison Greenbaum maybe has never had one.

Oh, poor Harrison. He's so much more talented than you. There was a fucking handjob. I didn't want to say it, but you pushed me to that point, and I really do feel he's so fucking underrated. Ladies, there's a handjob parlor in every fucking corner. Yeah. Who do you think is going to them?

Women don't want to do that It's not hygienic You just said it It's not safe Men and women's sexual drives are different It's a safety issue Not a pleasure issue That's the whole problem with rape

Because women can be overpowered by men Men bypass It's not safe So you want to do it You're just afraid to do it Yes exactly that men cannot feel men bypass men bypass it's not safe little things that women would stop at you're just afraid to do it yes exactly well why did you say that exactly

that's fucking exactly it we're scared because we're being fucking raped and murdered right and left listen you can trust that's exactly it hold on

I know some guys you can totally trust oh god gross that sounds like the opposite of what you just said it sounds like I'm about to get raped Russ you want to come over here that's like the last thing a girl hears

before she's trafficked. Ugh. You'd like Russ Meneve. And I just told Bill in an interview for a magazine that you were the hottest of the female comedians, and now I'm going to call him back and tell him to take that out of the interview.

Just because she didn't want to talk to you when you wanted to talk to her means that she... That's bullshit. to you when you wanted to talk to her means that she that's bullshit. Anyway, we're about finished here. Oh, we're finished. We do not. It's fine.

We do offer free food and drink to our guests. You told us you weren't sure if we would have to pay full price or half price for this. And you do. For the steak or the lamb, you might have to pay half price. You have steak and lamb here?

Yeah, for the steak and lamb, I have different. I don't eat lamb ever. If you want meat, you can have it, whatever you want. Okay, now I know for me, I get free food, but I have to pay half price. I know you like your meat, ladies. Go ahead. I just love meat. I want dicks in my mouth all day.

Oh, my God. Well, we certainly got a rise out of... Do you make breakfast for a guy ever? Yeah, I've made breakfast, but I've also had men make breakfast for me. I made eggs benedict for Steven... Well, it was like a month ago, but whatever. Who's ever housed you at?

It was very nice. And he makes me sandwiches, because he's a good sandwich maker. Normally asks because he needs people to cook for the brunch. You know, I don't need a job anymore.

This issue is killing me because I feel like I'm living in a world where everybody's just saying something that they don't really believe. I just think that everybody knows there's many women.

You know what I will say? My father used to treat me differently and not let me do the exact same things that my brother did at the exact same age that he was allowed to do them. And I asked him, is this because I'm a girl?

Like I couldn't stay over a friend's house until I was much older than my brother was allowed to. And I asked him if it was because I'm a girl and he said yes. And I was like, that's not fair. And I got really angry. And then later down the road

when I was like 19, 20, I had a conversation with him and I was like, that's not fair. And I got really angry. And then later down the road when I was like 19, 20, I had a conversation with him. And I was like, Dad, that's insulting to my intelligence. It's like I don't know what I'm doing. But DJ, my brother, he's fine. He's got this. But I don't got it because I'm some delicate fucking flower. And I don't appreciate being treated that way.

And we really had a heart-to-heart. And he understood. And then he doesn't listen to the podcast. I don't want him to listen to the podcast. But he understands that I'm a sexual being. And he doesn't. But the podcast. I don't want him to listen to the podcast, but he understands that I'm a sexual being. And he doesn't... But you girls talk a good game. You both have steady boyfriends. You've had them for a long time.

I think we can agree. A lot of it is rooted in safety. That's the main thing. A lot of your fears, I'm sure, are rooted in safety, too. No. None? Well, that's not responsible parenting. You're not scared for your kids?

That's not... Of course, I want my kids to be safe. No, it's not responsible parenting then. You're not scared for your kids? That's part of it. Of course I want my kids to be safe. Not at all for the woman. Why do you envision your daughter? Because safety should be a huge concern. It really should be. I understand, but I'm being honest with you. That's not what I'm expressing. What I'm expressing is that I want my

daughter to be in the middle of the spectrum of female sexuality. I want my son to be in the middle of the spectrum of female sexuality. Why do you care so much about your children's spectrum of sexuality? I don't even really know what that means. I don't want my daughter to be

having a lot of anonymous casual sex. Why are you concerned with that though? Some. I guess you gotta live. You gotta learn what? Why are you concerned with your daughter? I feel like the girls I know who have been like really really loose have also seemed to me to be a little bit resentful or I hate to use

the word damaged. They seem to have had issues like trauma. Whatever it is. There seems to be something which leads to that. Whereas in men... You're doing it out of order, though. You're raising your kid. The cause and effect, you don't want to see the effect

because that means there was a cause. Yes. I want her to be psychologically healthy and real close. Yeah, but you're in charge of the cause. So you're raising her so you can create a safe environment. And then if she still wants to go out and have a lot of sex, you know that there was no cause for this effect. I'm not saying that there is a lot of trauma and there is a lot of people filling voids. But also, there's a lot of dudes filling voids.

There's a lot of dudes who were molested by fucking family members that doesn't come out until years later. That's true, too. To both of yours credits, to both of you, to the credit of both of you, you smack me down, but then eventually you kind of come around and at least acknowledge that there's something

to what I'm saying. So I'll take it. Absolutely. Yeah. You a little bit agree with me, so we good. Now you know how I feel every day. Well, this was fun. We you know how I feel every day. No, this was fun. I had a good time. We didn't get to Coffee Free or Manchester. Coffee Free will be over by the time this is released.

Manchester attack now. When is this coming out? This was bad. This is coming out tomorrow. Oh, okay, so then it won't be. It'll still be relevant. The fact that I questioned Harrison's heterosexuality

obviously met with some blowback. Just to review. Oh, good, I forgot. Yeah, I mean, I'm sticking to all that. There's certainly nothing wrong with it if he isn't heterosexual. But why is everyone so obsessed with it? Why do you care so much about who Harrison wants to fuck?

Why? Well, I just think it's interesting, that's all. Because you seldom find somebody that's heterosexual that behaves like him. It would be very, very unusual and it would be interesting. And also, he makes it the centerpiece of his act. Yeah, because he's effeminate and people are constantly saying that to him. So it's like if people constantly say something to you, you want to address it. If I'm like, no.

I'd ask him. You like men? No. You're like, men? You gay? No. Like, If I'm like, no. I'd ask him. You like men? No. You like men? You gay? No? Like if I kept asking you that. He admitted on our show

that he says everybody's on a spectrum and he thinks he's somewhere in the middle or something. Remember he said that? I don't recall precisely what he said. He kind of acknowledged it. Well, that's not admitting. I mean, that's just fine.

Whatever. Listen, I don't care what Harrison Greenbottom does. I don't care if he's gay. In any case. I ate a girl out once. This is true. Twice. It's always fascinating

to think that somebody might be a fraud. I don't know that he's a fraud, but that's really what all the talk is like. Is this guy just bullshitting? If he's not, he's not. You don't want to be tricked. Who cares? He's a good comedian. It's not that I don't want to be...

He's a fine comedian, but that's not what we're discussing. He's so real. I'm afraid I'd say Harrison was funnier than him. I haven't seen your acting years. He does comedy. You're entitled to that opinion. It's killing you. I love it.

No, it's not killing me because I would not expect everybody to think I'm funnier than everybody else. I think you're funnier than everybody else. That's the least you could ask of anybody. I don't expect everybody to love my act, so it would be unreasonable to have that notion. Okay, we're over an hour. I do feel there was some hostility on your end. I thought it was fun.

I'm very defensive of Harrison. I'm not going to say that that's not true because I constantly have to stick up for him and he's such a nice person. But you're assuming that people are insulting him. Because everyone is... But what if Dan and I keep seeing your shit? Homosexuality is an insult.

I'm not even him and I'm annoyed. I'm not even him and I'm irritated. If someone told me that you were gay, I wouldn't be like, what? Yes, you would. You wouldn't believe it. No, yes, I would. But if someone was like, he's 100% straight, I wouldn't be like, what? I don't give a shit.

Fuck who you are. There's a key. There's a key. The fact is, is if, is it, somebody that has Harrison's affectation that is straight would be a very, very, very've heard guys talk way gayer than him. very unusual and would be very,

very, very interesting. Even from a scientific perspective, it would be interesting. You love saying scientific. A psychologist would be interested

to find Harrison Green out in nature. That's exactly what you're going to say to your daughter when she comes home and she's pregnant and you're going to

It's very, very, very unusual. It's very unusual and you're assuming we're insulting him by saying this. You know, if I could fly, that would be unusual too

and it would not be an insult. Dan Adamic can fly. Well, how dare you say I can fly? Oh, I can fly. No, we say Dan Adamic can fly and he's denying it. Dan could probably fly.

No, I'm not saying it. But if you told me that you couldn't fly, I would be like, you can fucking fly. You know what it is? You know what it is? You can fly. But if you told me that you couldn't fly, I would be like, you can fucking fly. You know what it is? You can fucking fly. I wish to say to you

that I can't fly, but it's interesting that you feel that way. Let's discuss it. You look like you have wings. You can fucking fly. Here's a more accurate thing. Me assuming that you

don't fucking know yourself, I know you, so I know what your sexuality is. You don't, and that's why it's been so... Based on a bunch of stereotypes and cartoonish representations of homosexuals.

Let's bring Russ Maneve over here, the ultimate man's man. I listened to that episode. It was good. What's his number? Russ Maneve's number is, I don't know what it is, but it's certainly healthy and robust. I can answer.

How many? Can we sign off? Because I can hear people turning to the Beatles channel as we speak. Well, what do you, Marina, what do you think Russman is number eight? Okay, this is not interesting for the listeners. Oh, really? It's not interesting? Because these people are on the other side of the room. They have no mic.

All right, that's true. And I do have a big thing about mics. I don't know. I think that meant something, but I don't know what. No, it does. It refers to a previous episode where Paul Mercurio ran a... Oh, I heard that one. Noah made the point that, you know, maybe it's a pattern with me that I put people off.

Well, you know who else put people off? Jesus Christ. Oh, wow. You're that guy. Good night, everybody. Good night. Good night.